C02 - Ep. 48 - Finale in Faunaloch - Hugo for the Kill
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Previously, our adventurers took a truth test with Weezer, stepped into Sheath's secret headquarters, paired off to procure some potent potion ingredients, and finally they found their way to Awning Amphitheater. But the alchemist wasn't alone. Draw yourself a drip? Let's dive into this dank drama.

I thought he died. Yeah, what happened? I was just very injured. I recovered though. Injured. Glad to see you back, Duncan. I got a little mauled, but I'm fine now. Okay. Mold, huh? I'm going to roll a check on that to see if that's telling the truth. How many arms did you say in your intro, just out of curiosity? How many did you get? I didn't count. Oh. It was like eight or nine. It was eight. Eight. Eight makes sense. I rolled a 19 on the inside check. Like a spider.

Is Duncan telling the truth? Yeah, you think so. Okay. I don't think we've ever done a check on the narrator before. I don't think the narrator's ever directly talked to you. No, it's an unreliable narrator, so I don't know. Speaking of unreliable narrators, my name is Gustavo Sorolla. I'm the dungeon master of our future party. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. No. Okay.

Okay, never mind. I think you're lying again. I think you're lying again. I don't know what to believe from you anymore, Gustavo. This week's role-playing warm-up question is, what is your character's favorite book? Favorite book. Bonjour. My name is John Reisinger, and I play Matide Confissus. Ugh.

No, that is wrong. Make your mouth small. Matilda. Matilda Confetti. I play Matilda Confetti and my favorite book is obviously a book by a formidable woman. It is called The Joy of Cooking made by Julia Childs. Oh, I love that. I don't think that's the name of her book. What is the name of her book? Oh,

I don't know. It's like... It's French cooking for Americans, something like that? French. Yeah, it's something with French in it. She does not write the joy of cooking. Julia... I'm trying to think. What's the grotesque version? I was trying to think of that, too. Wilds. Wilds. I mean... Ghoulia Childs. Oh, that's good. Mastering the art of French cooking. Mastering the art of French cooking. Yes. Big fan of her. Mm-hmm.

Apparently not big enough fan to know that name of her book, but that's okay. It's the, it's the grotesque version. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Mastering the art of cooking. Cooking. Barbara's bringing it today. Barbara knew the answer.

I'll go next then. Since I'm bringing it, I'll bring my intro. Bring it! I'm Barbara Dunkelman and I play Elga Von Brath. Elga Von Brath. The hand elephant vampire. It's funny to turn and look at Blaine when he's doing it. It looks like he's making kissy faces to the microphone. Yeah.

And Elga, you know, has a few favorite books, but lately she's really been enjoying Twilight. Team Jacob or Team Edward? I think you know, Gustavo. Team Bella. She don't need no

though, man. Independent woman. I don't know what Twilight's about. She very much needed a man. It was nothing without the man and made a weird baby. And sparkly vampires, right? Twinkly. Dogs. I think your interest in Twilight may be a hereditary thing.

I think it could be. She's better. Oh. Okay. I'm Barney Varney, and I'm played by Chris Damaris. Wow. The human cleric. The human? What kind of cleric? Chris Damaris is the human cleric. Are you a human? What kind of cleric? Human cleric. Twilight?

There it is. Oh, Twilight. Yes, I understand now. Yes. And my favorite book has to be the Book of Evenfall because it helps me heal people and it makes a dragon. Yeah. Those are two very good things for a book to be able to drag on. Yeah. And you're also using an in-world book that you actually have. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it's no Twilight. Well, it does travel around with the entire Twilight series. This is very true. At first, my answer was going to be the encyclopedia. And then I was like, that would be heavy. All of them. But it makes sense that you would be like carrying, because you have four axes now. That's very true. It just brings around the V edition of encyclopedia. I would say the B. The B, blood. Blood. Blood.

That's in blood. Barney, do you have any favorite passages or incantations from that book? Yes. Evening comes at the end of the day. It's that time when you must say good day because the day has finished up.

I'm going to go and drink a cup of tea to go to bed. It just keeps going. Long forgotten something of tomorrow. What is dragon? Of a gone. Long forgotten is a gone. Then up at the end is a dragon. What was the thing he said? Feed them all.

I don't know. You guys are speaking foreign language right now. I remember it because you put a nice little music behind it and you did the song and you made Chris sound cooler than he usually is. I'm trying to find that. In his rap? No, when he summoned the dragon with the one with the cool skateboard. Yes. That's what I remember very vividly. The hip one. While you look for the relevant Bible verse, yes, I'm going. No need to poke me in the nipple.

Your nipple was over there. That's my third one. Hi there. I'm Blaine Gibson and I play. You know, my book, my favorite books. It's a toss up between the Boy Scouts handbook. You know, a lot of relevant information. Love pouring over that as a little one. What's the grotesque Boy Scouts handbook?

Demon Scouts. I don't know. And the Boo Scouts and the Boo Shouts. Book of my own publishing. That's right. You guys didn't know this. Published author. Yes. Chip Haney. Yes. It's the homeowners association rule book for my neighborhood. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wrote that myself. What's the most commonly enforced rule in that book?

oh i'm a real stickler on the grass height you know you know you can't let the clover take over it looks cute but you gotta watch out because it'll just completely consume your yard then all your kentucky blues all looks like poo poo you know you don't want that matine so you i like to think that you you know how like when people write their own book they have like the author's like message at the front you're just like hey there chipaney pleasure to meet you it was actually a message to

Carol. Well, what does it say? Dedication. It was dedicated to Carol. It's H-O-A. I know. I know. I'm a bit of a romantic. God, it's hot in here. Dawn be gone, but dusk remain. I call upon thee, Vespervane. Vespervane. Oh, there it is. Mine was almost as good. Yeah, comparable, I would say. I'm just, I'm proud of myself for remembering like the first word.

Very proud of you, John. Donkey gone. Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong. So question for the party at large, if anybody could answer, what is the sacred book from the last episode that I asked for passages from? It's the Book of Ma, right? I don't know. Yeah, Book of Ma? We were off playing in the water. Did you all not get one too? I don't know. It was the Divine Breath, Wisdom from the Maman Tradition. Divine Breath.

breath. Listen, I just ate Chipotle. I got some pre-divine breath over here. Wisdom from the Mormon tradition. The Mormon tradition. Knew that back and forth. I think we learned a lot about people's favorite books. I thought Chip would say like one of those remember those old like

time life books like the home repair books that Bob Villa would like sell on TV he'd be like I love Bob Villa he would say like the Reader's Digest or something I thought Chip might like the home repair manuals or something like that my favorite book is the TV Guide

After gathering your respective ingredients, you all make haste through the sultry shrubbery until you each come upon what is clearly the Awning Amphitheater. Shaded stadium seating carved from logs encircle an elephantine stump dressed in flowers. Standing atop the stump stage is the Alchemist, which is back to you looking at the sun setting shores of the loch, but you see no sign of the other sheath agents. "Vibe check!"

Yeah, vibe check. Vibe check. Should we talk to him first? Vibe check. Jesus Christ. Make your vibe checks. All that sugar is hitting everyone. What is it? Perception? Insight. They don't let you tell the story. I know. I've got a long block of green here. That's fine. Vibe check. 11, 23. Something seems off. The little hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you hear a very slow clap. Oh, no. And high up in the shaded western stands, you see a dark figure rise from a seat in the very back.

Oh, how I love the theater! The drama! The suspense! The twists! And the figure steps forward into the light. You see the pale man with blonde curly hair wearing a top hat, black suit, and red ascot.

but he isn't alone. Ah, but what is an outing without family? Right, father? To the north, you see a young girl with piercing blue eyes emerge from shady leaves. She curtsies her silk black and blue dress, then yanks on a translucent chain, and an elvish woman in navy cloak falls to the ground, bound in see-through shackles, and gagged with a red ascot. A third voice calls from the south. Personally, I come for the comedy. But I've

Yay for the tragedy! You turn to see a green-eyed, skinless figure take to the stage and quickly kick the alchemist to his knees. Eddie grips the man's neck with a clawed hand, his jagged smile never fading. Now everyone take a seat and let's enjoy the group finale! I appear next to him and say something funny too. And I start clapping.

And I say, ha, ha, ha, you got, you're right where we wanted you to be. Right, gang? Wait, this was all in the theater. Does that mean this has all been a fun little prank on us the whole time, like a whole show? Where are the cameras, the hidden cameras? Come on out, Carol. I know you're alive. Oh, my God. Guys, right? That was a good one, honey. Ha, ha, ha.

Hugo's eyes glow red and he glares fixedly at the alchemist. Asculta Lamine! The alchemist's body goes rigid, his eyes glow red, and he responds tonelessly. Teuscul. Eddie holds up two bloodied arms ripped from their sockets. Those other sheath folks were surprisingly willing to give us a hand with the other ingredients we needed. So how...

So how's about you deliver the last two ingredients and everyone walks away with their limbs attached? Hmm? Quick, Chip, down the liquid. The last time you had an encounter with that liquid lock, it didn't go too well. So it's an entire, like, I get rid of the liquid and there's just an entire lock. And he's like, dang it, I gotta...

Give me a second. It's going to take me three minutes to walk over there. Get it. Three minutes to walk back. He just doesn't really doesn't want to. Well, so what are you going to do with the Lockwood? I put it in the bum bag of holding. Yeah. And then I tell the other guys, like, if you guys want to give me your stuff, I can walk through it too. Actually, no, we should probably keep it separate. I like how we're having this discussion as they're like, they're going to kill us. Hey, guys over there. Time out. Time out. If you guys want to give me your stuff, I can hold on to it for you. Give it to me.

Give it to me. Oh, yeah. Just give it to me. Okay. I trust my teeth with my life, so we should just give them. I astral leap. Ooh. I give you the oar. Yeah. Before you do that. Do you want my water? Yeah. Okay. Here you go. I gave some of the wolfsbane already. Yeah. Yeah.

Why did you do that? You should have held on to it. No, we said don't give it to them. And then you gave it to them. We said whatever you do, don't give it to them. They are gaslighting Chris right now. No, no, you can listen to the episode. Chris was just looking around so confused like, is that what happened? We're teammates.

in this one, okay? Yeah, should we give you all this stuff? Yeah, yeah, I take the ore and the lockwood and astral leap. Okay. I'm safe now too, so have fun with the boss fight. Yeah. Okay. Eddie would probably just let out a big sigh and roll his eyes.

Everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Oh, it's one of those days. Okay. 16. There's like an army of people I could gather in Australia, right? Maybe. It's like I can make like a whole like Lord of the Rings, Return of the King entrance. Yeah. That's a 19 for Elga. I'll roll too. But they lost against the Austrians as well. That's a 20 for Barney. 22. Nice. Wasn't it Emus? Was it Emus? Yeah, I think it was Emus. Yeah.

There are some NPCs as well. I'm gonna place them all. Give me a moment. Ah, yes. Agents of Sheath to me. They're all dead bodies. Yeah, you got a couple arms.

Perfect. Also, I keep failing to mention this. I have this thing called pinch of poison. Pinch of poison? Pinch of poison? Basically, like, I gained, like, this poisoner ability where, like, during short rests, I can create a single-use injury touch ingested or inhaled poison, and it has, like, some stuff that I can put on people. Yeah. Is it okay to retroactively say that I've done that because I keep failing to mention it? Sure, why not? What were you thinking? I'll just have, like, a touch. Yeah.

You got the touch. The feel. The power. Oh, I was going, the touch, the feel of cotton. Or injury, injury. That soundtrack rocks. Yeah. With the Transformers movie? Yeah, it is. I just rewatched it and I was like, why is this going so hard? Lion does a really good cover of that receive song. They also play that song like seven times in the movie. As they should. Yeah.

Okay, the top of the order is Hugo. Of course it is. Okay, I'm going to make a decision here. So I'm going to roll and that will set my decision. Hugo makes a beeline for Barney and Elga. And that's me, fake bubba.

You're not my real dad. It's going to be dad versus dad. Okay. He looks at you, Elga, and he says, You wouldn't hurt your father, would you? I definitely wouldn't hurt my father, which is why I'm not going to hurt Barney. Make a wisdom saving throw. Oh, it's like a curse. Like a spell. Six.

I think she passed. Barbara's wincing from the pain of that roll. Yeah, you know what? Hugo is right. You wouldn't do anything to hurt him. In fact, you think you should protect him from all of these people who are trying to hurt him. What if before he did that... I'm just kidding.

Well, hold on. Let me double check something in your character sheet to be safe. He says that, but you actually have advantage on that saving throw, Elaga. So make that wisdom save one more time. Do I know why? It's a type of charm. And you have fey ancestry, which gives you advantage on checks against that. On being charmed, right. 13 is the new rule. You might still fail that. Double checking. Yeah, that's still a failure. Okay.

You think there is a lot to that and you should maybe listen to what he has to say. I will protect my father.

And in your mind, you hear him say, Attack that person next to you. Is there only one person next to me? Yeah, it's Barney who's next to you. And he continues to close the distance. Does anyone else know this is happening to me? I mean, we probably hear him or they probably hear him. Yeah, I detect that you are creepier than usual. Right. They would hear the first part where he says that you wouldn't hurt your father, but then they don't hear like telepathically he tells you to attack Barney. Okay.

but they might be able to tell I'm getting charmed in some way. They might be able to, yeah. So Hugo would close the distance and try to attack Barney. Okay. Let's see here. I'm going to make a roll. This is plus nine. You'd hit a C24. That's going to hit. Mm-hmm.

Even with your new armor that you have on? Yeah. Okay. Darn. That does 14 points of piercing damage. Okay. And you must make a charisma saving throw. Why are you so low on health? Because I got eaten by a tree or something. I don't remember. Like a lightning bolt or something like that. Oh, yeah. You rushed. I like that you didn't learn anything from it. It could potentially happen again. 25. Nice. Wow.

That's him doing the splits in the air. After he attacks you, he gets in real close and whispers in your ear. The little one's out to get you. But you kind of shake it off. You know that he's just trying to mess with your mind. Like Taylor Swift says. Okay. The little one's out to get you. Yeah, then I'll say the two of you, the other two of you. Oh, no, Matid's gone. So Chip.

You make me a charisma saving throw. Okay. He's so charismatic. Ooh la la. You've got Riz. 18. Oh, okay. In your mind, you feel like you can hear Hugo talking to you, telling you to move away and to run away, but you shake it off. Okay. In my mind, I tell him to shut up. And you stand your ground.

Yeah. That's it for Hugo. Then it's Eddie's turn. Okay, they rolled high. Eddie closes the distance and runs up to the alchemist. And he plucks five petals from a blue flower on stage. And the stuff grows taller by 50 feet. Just like shoots up into the air. Look at the flower grow over there. Look at it. It's because they're doing their little thingy. What thingy? I don't know. It's the thing that we were supposed to stop it from doing. Whatever the...

Yeah. Cessness thing is. And he's going to... Oh, that's a fun one. Oh, we need the anti-cessness. Yeah. They're doing the cessness. They're doing the cessness. Wait, the anti... That's the potion that we're trying to... Wait, why did he need the ingredients if we were going to make an anti-cessness potion? Maybe we'll find out. So that we can't make it, maybe? Maybe. Ch.

Chip. Hello. Eddie looks at you and begins muttering something under his breath. Why don't you make me a wisdom saving throw? Okay. Eight. You know what? Something about the atmosphere, something about the day. You just feel like damn thing.

I feel like dancing. Dancing. Yeah, you just begin doing a comic dance, just shuffling your feet, tapping them in place, and capering. Okay. There you go, Jim. That's the spirit. Ah, guys, I'm feeling pretty good about this fight. This is a weird time to choose

So a meta game wise, you use all your movement to dance without actually leaving your space and you have disadvantage on dexterity saving throws and attack rolls. Good start. We are real set up for success here. What if I have advantage inherently on deck saving throws because of my shoes? Well, you made a wisdom save.

So it doesn't cancel out. It has no effect. But your dancing is that much better. Yeah. You're really doing a great job. Chip's danced a lot in this campaign. Do the chip. What is that, 23 Skidoo? Mateed. You know what? Australia's real nice this time of year. Yeah. You're right. I made the smart choice. You know, you don't have to go back. I don't.

for a minute. That's 10 rounds. I was going to say, that might be the whole time. You've got a lot of time. That's the soul combat to figure this out. Okay. And you roll at the end of your turn, right? To see if you maintain in there or not? I can leave, but I can go back if I want. Can you read stuff? At the start of my next turn...

I can go back if I want or when the spell ends. I could be banishment. I don't know if that would work. Well, no, but can you leave items in that realm? Yeah, I can. Do you have like a little like a locker or anything like that over there? A little chest? Or a, you know, nest. Yeah, I mean, I can just leave it on the ground. Yeah, give it a shot. Are they able to do that? Yeah, I mean, why not? Okay, I'll leave the ore and the lockwood on the ground.

Okay. Which would stay in the Australian version of this. Like it's something that's like basically almost like a mirror dimension is what it seems like. Yeah, but the one difference is it's not quite one to one. Like distance doesn't work the same between the planes. Okay. So it seems like it's a short distance and one might end up being a long distance and another. Okay. But the way that the spell reads as far as how I come back is I come back 10 feet from where I could see from where I left. Yes. Okay.

I want to do something before I come back, if I can really quick. Just talk. I just want just a talking action. Okay. I talk to Gigi and I tell Gigi, I need you to go find Siren. And I tell him the message, everything went wrong. We're in deep doo-doo. Mm-hmm.

Get your golem butt to the amphitheater pronto. Make me a wisdom check. That's a good plan. That's smart. I might not be now that he's making me do this. Golem's a bad guy, but wisdom or 19. Oh, nice. You remember that Siren went out to help find ingredients as well. But he's not here in the amphitheater? Now that you think about it, you look around, you see some pieces, some metallic pieces in trees. Oh, you didn't describe that. Oh.

He said we had two arms, but not a metal arm. Well, Eddie wasn't carrying a metallic arm. Maybe we can rebuild him. Stronger. Faster. Better than he was before. Stronger. Like the Iron Giant. Could I tell Gigi to go find Jacques? Sure, why not? Okay. Then he's there. He's on the Australian plane. All right. Same message. You scratch out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, what you do is I just take Gigi and I shake him a little bit. Like an actual guest. You turn him upside down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go, go find Jacques. And he's like,

and tell him we need your help. Please come to the amphitheater in the Cessna's... No. Finalock. Finalock. There it is. In Finalock, we could really use your help right now. Bring reinforcements. And bring macarons. Goodbye. And I send Gigi off on a little errand. Yeah, just make a persuasion check. Why not? On Gigi? Oh, no. On Jacques. Jacques.

Correct. You did this last episode and I made the same... 17 plus 3, 20. Oh, okay. That's good. Dirty 20. Nice. Nice.

Excellent. Okay, yeah, Gigi jumps out of your arms and begins walking away. Okay, Hugo is now close to Chip or Barney. Barney. Yeah, correct. Okay, I could see him then because I can see within 60 feet. Correct. So I want to, could I appear behind Hugo? Sure. Great.

I'm going to hit him with... No, actually, I want to appear... Would I be able to appear like 10 feet from him? Yeah, why not? Okay, you're so great.

Such a good deal. A gracious gulch. Because I want to hit him with the Sling of the Sandstorms. Chris just came in on the last note. So I'm going to attack with that. 27. Believe it or not, that's a hit. So then first, I'm going to roll for damage on that, and then a few things get to happen. That's a one. So that's eight. Eight. What kind of damage is that? Bludgeoning.

And then since that hit him, the bullets of walloping. Is that what they're called? Call it something like that. Yeah, they are. The bullets of waffling. Creature hit by a bullet must see a DC 10 strength saving throw or be knocked prone. Pretty sure he's going to make this. He's got a plus 10, doesn't he? But we'll, I mean, we'll, we'll see. What's his modifier? Just tell me. For strength? Yeah. Oh, it's only plus three. Okay. Nice. Nice. So he just needs to roll a six or lower. It's an eight. That's an 11. Okay. Okay.

That's fine, because since it was a monk weapon, I can spend a ki point and do a stunning strike. Nice. Stolen in. And the check on that. It's very good. As I flip through a million screens on here. I just love the way British people say stunning. It's my favorite. Stolen in. I can relate to flipping through a million screens. Constitution saving throw. Oh, it's my ki thingy, which I didn't write down. I think that's like 16 or 17. Let me just roll to see.

Well, I got a six, which is probably below whatever your number is. Success. He is stunned.

Dunin. Good lord. Everyone in Yonatan. How far is Avena from me? Avena is a good distance away. She was at another portion of the amphitheater. Give me a moment. I can look at the map and tell you exactly how far. Barbara is cheering me on to beat up her sister. Love you, Kristen. She must die. About.

80 feet 80 to 90 feet something like that yeah that's fine I'll go the full 65 flying feet that I can go and I'm gonna yeah I'm just gonna I'm gonna use my uh uh second attack to hit her with sling of sandstorms da da da da da da

It's just the inventory item that keeps on giving. 19 plus 11 is 30. Pretty sure that's a hit. What kind of armor is this little girl wearing? That is a hit. She's in the submarine. I think he got her. He forgot to say that she gathered all of Siren's parts around her. Two plus seven, nine. Bludgeoning damage. Bludgeoning, all right. And roll that DC 10 constitution saving throw.

No. Strength. Her strength is plus two, so she needs an eight or better. Turn to the water. That's an 18. She's a dirty 20. Okay. And then roll the stunning strike. That was constitution. Yeah. Also a plus two.

It's a nine. That's an 11. That's going to be too low. Yeah, which is low. That's a failure. So she stunned as well. Okay. And then I'm going to use one more key point since I'm on a roll to use the thing that makes me dodgy. It is called...

dodginess. Who could have expected that? I don't know what it's called. Patient defense! So I have now used the dodge action as my bonus action. Okay, and that just gives you... Dodge. Yeah, dodge. Just the disadvantage on attacks against me. Yep. Like a rock. Oh my god! And that will be my turn, and I will do a nice little pirouette and bow. Right before Gus pulls out...

Some sort of MacGuffin that kills me in one strike. A ghost nuclear bomb. Suddenly, Evina pulls out a proton pack. Oh, that would suck. In unison, they go, Do-Re-I-Gon. So that's Matit. After Matit is Barney. Then after Barney is Elga. That's right.

All right. Avena's got a gun? What? Yeah. That's the other thing. Avena's got a gun. I'm going to start by touching Elga and casting Greater Restoration. I imbue a creature with positive energy to undo a debilitating effect. One effect includes Charmed. Would that work? And were you close enough to me that you could touch me with that? Yeah, because we were right next to each other. We were right next to each other. So I'll make sure you didn't provoke a debilitating effect.

Attack of Opportunity? Yeah. I'm going to say yes. One effect that charmed. It wasn't charmed, but it was an effect that charmed. And the way it reads is one effect that charmed. It doesn't say charmed specifically, so yes. Oh, so it wasn't charmed? No, it was an effect that

charmed, but it wasn't charmed. Well, I'm glad I picked that one instead of my other thing I was going to do. So yes, Elga, who you saw as a mortal enemy of yours just a second ago, you now see as a kind, long-winded old man. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

And then... So I'm not charging anymore? Yeah, you're not charging. And then Hugo is right in front of me? Yes. Is his last name still Von Bra? Yes. Okay. As my bonus action, I want to cast Spiritual Weapon, and I create a floating spectral weapon within range. On a hit, the target takes force damage equal to 1d8 plus my spellcasting modifier. Okay. So I'm going to cast that and make it attack him.

From behind. What form is the weapon taking? It's taking... What is your dad not like? Apparently me. And probably you. Can I make it take the form of like Elga and me like...

statue that he just whomps. Could it just be Barney and Elga playing catch in a field? Sure, why not? And then it whomps him with it. Yeah, it's like bludgeoning. Yeah. No! That's a 26. That hits. A vision of Elga at her wedding with father-daughter dance with Barney. So,

So that did six damage. And then is he, wait, did you say he was stunned? He's stunned, so you have advantage on attacks. Can I just roll again just to see if I get like a crit? Sure, why not? And that was a 25.

Okay, still not a critical, but still a hit regardless. And he's stunned, so we could walk away. Where's Eddie in relation to us? Eddie is on that stump which grew up 50 feet into the air. After picking a flower? Right, where the alchemist is. How far away is that stump? From where you were, the base of the stump is probably only like 25 feet away. He's the one who's like got all the stuff and is like doing the thing. Eddie, right? Yeah.

The guy with the stuff doing the thing? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Why don't you... I can fly. Okay, yeah. And I've also got dodge. You can fly. And I'll stay here and just stomp around because he's not stunned. And that's it. That's my turn. All right. Elga, you're up after Elga is Avena, then Chip. And I'm no longer charmed. You want to attack Barney, correct? Okay. I'm going to cast Hunter's Mark on Hugo. Yeah. You are not my enemy.

And I'm going to take a swipe at him. Do it. Actually, could I equip something? Or is that like a bonus action? Sure, why not? Go for it. I'm going to equip my Medal of the Horizon back. Something I got a while ago. Basically, when you would be hit by an attack, you could use your reaction to increase your AC by five.

until the start of my next turn. So I'm just like equipping this to increase my AC by five. So you have it on. It's a reaction. You just have to let me know

When you get hit, just tell me if you want to use the ability and then for that one hit it would increase your AC by five. Right, which means it could potentially not hit me. Correct. Okay, cool. So you have it on, you just have to let me know when you want to use that reaction. Okay, cool. And then I'm going to take a swipe at Hugo with my Great Acts of Gaining. Okay. Oh my god, I'm gonna use my Inspiration Die. You have advantage also. You do have advantage.

He stunned. Stunned. So I'm going to hold on to my inspiration die. Oh my god, no, I'm going to use my inspiration die. I rolled a one and then a two. Yikes, it's getting better. Come on, three! Oh, thank gosh. Thirty. I'm guessing that hits. I have a plus eleven on that. Alright, and then because he has Hunter's Mark on him, that is a seventeen points of damage.

Nice. Plus an extra 1d6 when I hit, right? Yes. Okay. And I also have advantage on any wisdom perception or wisdom survival check I make. To find it. To find it, yeah. So that's an extra 1d6, which is another four points. So that would be 21. Ouch. Back attack. And then I'm going to do it again. Yeah. Hugo.

I call you by your first name. That's a 20. I don't know. That does hit. Okay, cool. I whispered. You know. You know. Hugo. And that does 18 plus a D6. Another three. So another 21 points. So that's 42 total on Hugo. Yep. And then could I yell out to my team members? Yeah, do it. If any or anything want to cast it,

over here. So you can have a little Hocus Pocus

- Ah, the habadoo habadoo, ah, yeah. No, none of that Huey Balooey. - Yeah, I was like, what did Blaine say? - Habadoo habadoo. - And that's my turn. - Good turn. - That's a great turn. - That's a really good turn. Okay, so then it's Avena's turn. - She's stunned. - Oh yeah, she is stunned. What does that mean exactly? She can't move? - Yeah, I think she also can't talk clearly. So any verbal components. - Habadoo habadoo. - Some creature is incapacitated, can't move, can speak only falteringly.

Automatically fails strength and dexterity saving throws. Attack rolls against it have advantage and can't take actions or reactions. Cool. Cool. That's why I do it. It's maybe my best superpower. Let me look at her character sheet here. Avena. So what can she do? Does it involve talking or moving? She does have stuff she could do. Farting doesn't count. Darn.

So are you still close to Avena? I am. If you said she was 80, I'm about 15 feet away. Okay. You see her, you know, she can't really move. She is stunned, but her eyes like turn and look at you and she kind of smiles. You see like what you think might be a little bit of a smile curl on the outer edges of her lips. I smile back and I mouth a potty word. Ooh, what is it?

But we can't say it, can we? We can't say it. Toilet paper. Yeah. And as she's locked eyes and looking at you, three other versions of her pop out surrounding her. Now there are four of them standing there. But which one is the one that's laying on the ground stunned? The other ones are running around and the one in the middle's eyes are turning around. Yeah, that'd be easy to tell which one's the real one. They're all frozen in place at the moment. Okay. That's all she can do at the moment. Let me write that down. Did that...

You'll never guess! *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laughs* * laugh* * laugh* * laugh

Can I do a roll to see if I can overcome that charm or whatever it is? The power of music? No. If they don't dance and they're friends with my hand. Yeah, as an action, you can make a wisdom saving throw to regain control of yourself. Okay, I'll do that. We can dance.

Well, I mean, because alternatively, it's like I'm just going to have disadvantage on stuff. Is there a way that you could fight dance? Capybara? Capybara? What did you say? Did you say Capybara? Capybara. He said Capybara. Capybara. Okay, so I have disadvantage on attack rolls against anybody or specifically Eddie? Anybody. And you also can't move because all your movement's taken up by dancing. You know what? This is fine. This is fine. He's... Yeah, no, I'm going to dance. I'm going to dance. I am going to...

First, I'm gonna, while I'm doing my little dance, I'm gonna take my, it's a river dance, and I'm gonna take the pinch of poison thing that I have and rub it on an arrow from my crossbow of coolness. And then I'm gonna- Are you gonna hit me with an arrow? Yeah, and then slide it. Look, slide it.

Left, slide to the right. And shoot. It doesn't sound like Riverden. Crossbow. Crossbow. So I'm going to shoot Eddie with it. And you said that was a disadvantage, right? Yes. I'm trying to think if you would be able to see him to even hit him because he's 50 feet up in the air on top of the stump. Oh, you tell me. You were over here. The stump went up. How far is that? The stump went up.

- How is it that the hypotenuse comes into play so often here? - It really does. - 50, 20, stay in school kids. - Is it A squared plus B squared? - Eddie's at an angle about 54 feet away from you diagonally, but you're having to look up. You're that far away. Sure, we'll say he's by the edge and you're able to take a shot. Why not?

And that's disadvantage. And 54 feet is within range for a crossbow, right? Well, it says 30 foot slash 120. So is that 120 disadvantage? Right. So normally, normal range for that is 30 feet. Then you can fire up to 120, but then that is at disadvantage. And you're already at disadvantage.

So it'd be double disadvantage. Okay, that's great. I love this. Perfect. All right, so I'm going to shoot. I'm going to roll three times, right? Sure, why not? I don't think double disadvantage is a thing. No, it doesn't exist. He's just at a disadvantage. No, no, no, it's fine. I can do double disadvantage if you want to. I think it should be four dice, but we'll figure it out. 25. Do you want to roll three dice? Double disadvantage? Three dice? How about a hold up? Yeah, let's do three. Why not? You want to go nuts? Let's go nuts. Let's go nuts. It's 16, that's a 25, and that's a 25. Woohoo!

But I also have lucky, which then turns this into super duper advantage. I'm going to read this for the room because every time I brought out lucky people, it doesn't make any sense. Hold your horsies. You have three luck points per long rest. Whenever you make an attack roll, ability check or saving throw, or when an attack rolls made against you, you can spend one to roll an additional D20 and you choose which die to use. Yeah.

Super duper advantage. You can choose to spend luck points after you roll a die, but the outcome is determined. So then I'm going to roll another. I just exited out. Sorry. My hands are shaking. I'm thrilled. Why is he rolling a luck die? So that's a 16. So my highest was a 25. So you're going to pick the 25. Yes. Okay. Believe it or not, that hits. Okay, great. I am also going to use my ranged rhyme. Ah! Ah!

Upon firing a crossbow at an enemy, hit or miss, as a bonus action, you can expend a charge to cause the bolt to explode with icy shards. Each creature within 10 feet of the target must make a DC 15 dexterity saving throw or take 46 cold damage. Who are you shooting? This is Eddie. Okay. So I'm going to get an additional 46 cold damage.

Uh-huh. That's right. That's right, Gus. So I'm going to roll for the piercing damage right now. Yeah, roll your piercing damage first. So that's a seven. DC 15, dexterity saving throw. Okay. Or take 46 gold damage. So plus five. Let me roll here. Oh, my God. Hey, he's at disadvantage, though, because he's stunned. He's stunned. He's stunned.

He's not stunned. No, I bet he's not. You attacked the one person I didn't stun. So he rolled a 16, which means he saves. No, he doesn't. Roll it again. Oh, you're going to burn your luckiness quickly. Oh, God, every time. Every time. He has three. That's an 11, which is plus five, 16. No, but you get to pick. So it's a 16 or a 21. Oh, oh, oh.

Don't burn it. You big, big, dumb, beautiful, lovely, but dumb man. Hey, Blade, do whatever you want. Don't do it. You play you. It's your turn. Do it. Do it. He's too chicken. He'd never do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

So hold on, we're getting a clarification on Lucky here. We've done Lucky multiple times before. Yeah, I feel like we always do it wrong. We should keep doing it wrong then. Okay, so whenever you make an attack roll, an ability check, or a saving throw, you can spend one to roll an additional d20 and you choose which die to use. You can choose to spend luck points after you roll. So it's when you make an attack roll. Or when an attack is made against you. Yeah, or when an attack is made against you. Which Eddie's not doing any of that. Correct.

Yeah, and they didn't attack you. Correct. This is him doing a save. Correct. So you didn't have to use that lucky, so you still have that lucky. I have both my luckies. Yes. But I wonder, did they explode? I think Micah stepped in to save you there. But does it do half damage? I don't know. It doesn't say. Okay. This is homebrewed, so it doesn't say if it does or does not do half damage. I think it does half damage, though. Okay.

Normally it is half. That's how it was with her knife. So half of 17. It's eight. As well as the ice knife spell does that as well. Plus, if you recall, I lubricated my arrow with a pinch of poison. So I'm going to do an additional 2d6 plus four damage. Poisoning damage. Yeah? Yeah. Why are you looking at... I'm just making sure that I can do it. So that's 12 points of damage. From the poison. From the poison. Poison. Poison.

It's too bad you didn't hide and do this. I couldn't. He was dancing. Yeah, Blaine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So how's that? How's that? Pretty good. I need to roll a dexterity saving throw for the alchemist. Why? Because he's right next to Eddie. Remember? That's okay. It's just the alchemist. Yeah, yeah. Just the one person who can make this thing. The alchemist rolled an 18. Honestly, if the alchemist got killed when they need the alchemist,

That's bad for all of us equally. That's an eight for minus eight hit points for the alchemist because he made the save. He'll be fine. He'll be fine. I'm going to Chris you a little bit here. Like because I use lucky, does that technically mean I have advantage so that I could proc sneak attack? I mean, just saying. No, no, no. That is not advantage. But the alchemist is within range of him. So then wouldn't I proc the sneak attack? But he's not threatening.

Jesus. Okay. Fine. And then now that I realized it, I thought that this was going to go so much better. You did fine. No, I didn't. You did good considering you're dancing. Yeah, you can't move. And you have a disadvantage. Quadruple disadvantage. I used a bonus action so I can't disengage or do that stuff. So that's basically it. You're dancing. That's basically it. Do you want to do a little dance right now?

That's my turn. Okay, it's Sedate's turn. What's she going to do? Continue to be prisoner. Oh, I know what she'll do. She'll yell at Chip. Be careful. We need the alchemist alive. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is typical Sneaky Dragon where an NPC has to tell Blaine to care about another NPC. Typical.

I guess she'll make a check. Let's just roll a d20 for fun for her. With her translucent shackles? She rolled a seven. Can't she with those on? Yeah, she's trying to get out, but she's not having much luck. Does she have a cool ability that doesn't require her to move like her stupid little daughter? Yeah, unfortunately not. You've got the bad side of the family.

You don't have to tell me about that. I think I'm very well aware. Yeah, she can't do anything. Okay, that is it for Sedante. It's the alchemist who is... He's like in a trance still, right? Yeah, he is being controlled. Maybe I will come up though with the cult. Yeah. Yeah. Does that break it? Yeah, that was my intent. I was going to ask if he's like being charmed or something like that and we hurt Hugo. Does that break...

Oh, yeah, his concentration. Plus the cold. You could make an Arcana check if you want. Me? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to let Barbara because, yeah, she's putting it together. So 14? You don't think that would necessarily have a direct... You're saying there's a chance. It might not be a concentration spell. It might just be like...

He said something and it makes him do something. You winter soldiered him? Yeah. So what I'm hearing is we should in fact kill the alchemist. But you need him. Way ahead of you. But so do they. I think there's a lot of people we should prioritize killing first or at least hurting first. Like Eddie. And every other villain in this room. No, we can rehabilitate them. I hit your sister, okay? Thank you. I did a hit.

Apologize for hitting your sister. Not my sister. This time, mom and dad, they won't get mad at me for hitting sister. I think at that point, Sadate shouts out to you, Chip.

I always heard Carol loved your dancing. It's time for Carol! Why is she trying to make... You can re-roll that wisdom save. Oh, okay. Well, I'm certainly going to make it now. By the strength of Carol, I rule... You saying that is probably going to make it. ...a 14! Oh, that might do it. Please make it. It might not. Let's see. It's close. It might. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.

Yeah, you're able to like shake it off and get your wits about you and get your feet back under you. Yay! Final move. What? What's your final dance move? How do you end the dance? Like one of those hot eyes with my arms out. Do you do any jazz hands? Little jazz hands. Yeah, little jazz hands. And then...

And then my tail's also jazz handing. All right. It's the alchemist's turn who continues his work. And then we go back to the top to Hugo. Oh, great. He stunned! When does that end? Does that end on your turn? My turn! Okay. Now it's Hugo, then Eddie, then Mateed. Hugo can't move. However, at that point, violent tremors begin shaking the entire amphitheater and large branches crack off from the canopy above.

falling into the amphitheater. There's been a theme with a lot of earthquake-y stuff. There's the Vamp Spire and here again. Something's going on. Everyone make dexterity saving throws! Nat 20 plus a bunch. You made it. You're good. 19 for Elga. A 7. You sounded so proud. I know. I was like, how can I sell this? Alright.

I rolled... It's the lucky seven. I rolled an 11, but I believe I get to do it again because of the sneakers. Cool, on this little dice, when you roll a nat 20, it's a picture of the Grim Reaper. There is a thing that I have. Hold on, hold on. While you're doing that, I'm going to roll my saves as well.

Yeah, that's the sound I want to hear. That's a good sound. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. How did I fail every single one? Yeah. How did I roll 5G20s and fail every single roll? That one might not be holo. Because I wished it.

Because we pray to the Maw. It's the power of dance. That's a failure. Evasion, when you're subjected to an effect that allows you to make a deck saving throw to take only half damage, you instead take no damage if you succeed on the saving throw and only half if you fail. So he failed. So you failed. So you still take half damage. Yeah. Yeah.

And I take... I have that too, so if there's half damage for succeeding, I don't take any. Yep, there is. I rolled an 8, 11, 2, 4, and 15. Heck yeah. Garbage. Let me see if I can... I'm trying... Nope, can't cry for you. Sorry. All right, let me roll some damage. The damage is...

Lots. 11 points of bludgeoning damage. If you succeed, you take five. Okay. So we all take five? I take none. Sorry. I saw that too. I saw that too. Cody just walked by in like a top hat. If no one else had seen that, I think I was going crazy. Okay. Are we all good on that? Yeah. Okay. It is still Hugo's turn who is stunned. Can he do anything without...

Moving. He can only speak falteringly, which makes this even more difficult. If he could speak... Oh. Hmm...

I don't think so, Gus. Hey, Gus, you have to do this turn with a faltering voice. Go ahead, continue. There it is. No, stop doing a Chris impression. Take an inspiration, Doug. Yeah! Can I get one? Oh, we just have to make fun of Chris? Yeah, we just gotta bully Chris and get inspiration, guys? Chris went, can I get one? I'm the butt of the joke right now. Yeah, technically part of the joke.

No, he can't do anything. All right. Hugo stands there. Eddie, you cannot. Well, I guess Chip can partially see him. Eddie, he is going to so many options. Is it Eddie's turn? Yeah. Okay. Ooh, this is a fun one. I wonder who he's going to target. Maybe the person who attacked him did damage to him. Yeah, that seems smart. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, Eddie looks down at you, Chip, and a beam of crackling blue energy lances out from him towards you. It forms a sustained arc of lightning between the two of you. He has to make a attack. While you're doing that, I have the Cloak of Displacement. While you wear this cloak, it projects an illusion that makes you appear to be standing in a place near your actual location, causing any creature to have disadvantage on attack rolls against you. Disadvantage. Lucky for you. What is your AC? 13. 13.

Really? Yeah. It's 13. Has it always been 13? Yeah, I'm not great. Yeah, what can I say? Do I have like, I wonder if I have armor like unequipped or something. That doesn't seem right because that just seems like your dexterity bonus. I mean, if you want to give me higher AC, I'll take it. Yeah, you've got your leather armor, which is 11, your dexterity bonus, which is 2. That's 13. Wow, that's it. Okay, yeah, because that hits then. Okay, yeah, it hits. Oh.

Uh, do a lucky. Do it again. Oh, you can use a lucky on this, right? Yes. You're attacking me. My voice didn't crack. Your voice cracked. A one. Which one do you want to pick?

So he critical fails. Or does. All right, so the lightning comes out, but it fails to hit you. It hits that displaced version of you that was near you instead of actually hitting you. And lightning flashes between the two spots. Eddie! Eddie! Hey, Eddie! You missed! You're okay. His green eyes focus and just look at you with pure hate.

I like how Rogue is doing the exact opposite of what the Rogue should be doing. And then I start dancing. Enjoying the show? Support us directly by becoming a patron at patreon.com slash stinky dragon. Not only will you be helping us to create more content, you'll get access to several perks, including access to our patron-only Discord server, events, and live streams. You can enjoy ad-free episodes for the main show and all our bonus content no matter where you listen to it.

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As he screams and dances in the middle of a battle. I also wear my headphones one ear off, one ear on. I think you were louder in the one that I don't have the headphones on because I could actually hear you like full volume here versus the microphone, which I think is like leveled out properly. Yeah. So I was like, oh, it's quieter if I put this on. Listeners at home love to hear it. All right. Mateed, then Barney, then Elka.

So, Eddie is on a stump that has grown in height. Correct. It's now 50 feet tall. And that happened when he pulled these petals off of a flower. Correct. It was a blue flower. It's not the wolf's mane, though, is it? No. A

Feel like we should be doing something to attempt to stop what he's doing. What if? Is there a ceiling in this place? No, it's open air. Oh, dang it. I was going to say he'd keep pulling flowers until he squishes into the ceiling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like the energy. I like the spitballing, brainstorming. Oh, I have a question. We're in the amphitheater.

Yes. Are we close to the lock? I mean, relatively, yes, but not like you could go there in one round and back or anything like that. You know, it's a couple hundred feet away. Okay. So, no, never mind. It took a couple minutes of walking from the lock with the lock. Okay. Okay. Pause to listen. Is that the sound of Jacques coming to my aid? Oh. Nope, it's not. No. Okay. Just listening. Meow. You just hear bells off in the distance. But is Gigi back? Yeah.

How far am I from a D?

if I am 15 feet from Avena. So you're still relatively close to the ground. You know, Avena was in the stands, which are, you know, stadium seating. So it is a little elevated. It's probably, let's say, 20 feet up. So it's another 30 feet up. And then that's, oh, you weren't all the way to Avena. That's 30 feet up. And then about 15 feet south from you to get to where Eddie is. 30 up. 15 south. 15 south. I can make that in one movement because I have 65. You absolutely can. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. Could I... I want to first hit a vein again. Yeah! With the Sling of the Sandstorm. 24. Roll a d4 on a one you hit the correct one. Oh, really? Yeah, there's four of them. Yeah, remember she's got the little... But wasn't one of them stunned? Yeah.

They all look stunned. I think they're all staying in place. She's stunned until the end of my turn. Right. Yeah, so she's still stunned. Right.

So I have advantage on the attack. And so if you're telling me I have... So it's whether or not to make the attack, and then the d4 determines whether or not you attacked the correct one. Unless you had an area attack. Could I do a check to see if I can know which one's the right one then? I thought this was a thing like Blaine's thing where it just gives him advantage. Yeah, it's a little hard because essentially you pick one to attack and then make the attack.

So it's different than his evasion. Correct. Or his displacement. Correct. Like with his, it just hides him and makes him appear to be a little over from where he is. This one makes multiple copies. So it's like there are essentially four Avena standing in front of you. What did I roll, Blake? A one. I rolled a one. You hit the correct one. Okay, cool. Then I will roll for damage, which is the D4. What was the process of that like? Were you just like...

Yeah, that's what it was. That's a 2 plus 7, 9 bludgeoning damage. Roll me that. Strength save is the walloping bullets. 10. Strength is plus 2. Need an 8 or better. 11. That's a 13. I'm going to make this a stunning strike again. Take those stunning strikes. It's quieter every time. I found it. It's a DC 16. Conned.

Is plus two. I need a 14 or better. Oh, 13. So close. You're stunned again. Are the other three apparitions of Avena still there? Yes.

But we know which one's which, though. But we know which one is the real one. I mean, we can't tell who's stunned or not, right? I hit her, and so she has an extra bruise on her head. It's the one with the black eye. Two black eyes. They all have two black eyes now. No. Okay, then I point that one out. Hit that one! Do I have anything I could do, like, to throw, like, paint on her or something? Do I have anything? From a meta perspective, the duplicates always look like the original.

So no matter what happens to the original, the duplicates will always look like. Okay, okay, okay. Go, go, go. They have to move. We know where they're standing. Sure, if she does it. Yeah, because she can't move, so they all have to stay there. So I point out the one that will be the one that is her until the end of my next turn. So question. Makes perfect sense to me. You attacked and did the stunning strike with the sling of the sandstorms? Yes. That'll be fast. That'll be quick. So the one problem is

is Sling of the Sandstorm is a ranged weapon, but Stunning Strike requires you to hit with a melee weapon. I thought it, because we've been doing this, that it doesn't say a monk weapon is Stunning Strike.

Stunning Strike is when you hit with a melee weapon attack. Yeah. I'd like to rebuttal the rules. I'm going off what we've been doing for a while, which was that the Sling of Sandstorms could proc Stunning Strike. Yeah, we've been doing that. I don't know if we've been doing it right or wrong. Maybe we'll let it slide, but I don't think that works. How about since from this point on, I won't do that? From henceforth. I think you have to hit them with some kind of melee weapon or a fist or whatever. A talon. Would my spear count? Yes.

Yeah. As long as you don't throw it. As long as you use it as a melee in that range. I'll make that note. We will forever remember this as the signing of the Treaty of Cessness. Yeah. The Cessness Accord. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, but she can be stunned for this one last time? Thank you. I'm going to go get Eddie then. Woo! Kill him! Yeah. Again! For the fifth, sixth time. I'm just going to take my slinging stance from him and just smack him over the head with it. Just kidding. I'm going to hit him with my Spear of Superior Baker. Actually, oh, wait. Yeah? He's leaning in real close to that iPad. You mid-maxed the heck out of that. Get him. Get him.

You know what? This is not really going to do much, but this has like final boss battles, near final boss battle vibes. And so I want to use it to use a little item bonus action. Depends on the item, but yeah, I'd say typically. What if I wanted to crack an egg? Sure. Okay. I'm so confused.

But today now's not the time. No, this is great. Before I leave Avena, because I have a vendetta against this mean little girl. You like your vibe. I did until she just became a little punk. I throw the battle gooseling.

I crack an orange gooey egg and a battle-hardy gooseling will ooze out. I command the gooseling to attack an enemy within range. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like the Sam I am. Pretty great, the mechanics and how this thing works. It's just a nuisance. It really doesn't do much damage, but it's great because if it fails on the attack, it rolls a die per number of creatures in the area of effect and it will attack a new creature ad nauseum.

And it also has a thing that says throughout the duration the goose thing will honk deafeningly. How does that sound? *HONK*

I hate it. Someone else in this building just heard that and is running. A goose runs in. And you call? My bad. Yes, sir. It has a bunch of things, like, it has a bunch of abilities, including, like, its attack is, like, a pseudo beak and has a bubbling hiss. That's a lot of stuff. And when I asked Gus how long this thing lasts, it just lives until it dies. So this is now my little buddy until someone kills it. What's his name? Uh.

Pierre. Pierre. I was going to say Gustavo since Pierre. Oh, that's good. Yeah, so he's going to just, I'm going to leave a little present next to Vena who's stunned.

Does Pierre like pâté? He does, he does. Oh, yuck. How dare you, Pierre? He's a oozling. Oh, right, right. Yeah, he's not actually a goose. Yeah, yeah. And so can I put him, his, like, initiative right after mine? Sure, why not? Okay, cool, cool, cool. All right, I go, Daddy loves you. I have to go hit the strange man with green veins. Ha!

And I fly up to Eddie and try to attack him with my spear. Okay. My spear. 26. That hits. That's not critical. No. That's a dirty 26. Fierce Spear Baker does 1d8, 7+, 7, 14. Ooh. And that's piercing damage. And give me that. What's your say?

What's going on? Shiggy-shwow. 55. Let's go ahead and make that a stunning strike as well. I'm sure he'll pass, and I'm sure he's got, like, that's a con. Constitution? Yeah. And what's the DC? 16? 16! Yes! Yeah! Yeah!

I rolled a one. D&D gods. I am a punk god. I will say, Eddie does have that ability where he can choose to succeed a fail-saving throw. Eat a butt. That's a pretty OP skill. Yeah. Yeah, that's a one, but yeah. He fails. He makes it. It succeeds.

I guess I got to hit him again then. Yeah, because there's only one reaction probably. Actually, can I ask that from a meta perspective? How many uses is a legendary resistance? So he can do that three times a day, but it is a reaction to Blaine's point. You know what's not a reaction? A bonus action. And my bonus action is Flurry of Blows. Ugh.

Oh, you used a bonus action? Oh, I did. Oh, okay. Thank you, Micah, for keeping track of it. Okay. Micah, what are you doing? Then... I'm trying not to make Matito pee. No, no. I need limitations. As few as there are. Then I think that's it. Let's go on in.

Yeah, I'm good. I like that crystal ass word. Okay, that's it for Mati. Oh, you're going to do the oozing? Oh, yeah. Almost forgot. Everyone's just taking a turn. I'm so glad I used this, and I'm terrible at using my inventory. Where did I get this? In the Shrek scourge? What was the place underneath the vampire? The dregs. Dregs. I think I got it there. Okay. Okay.

You can move through a space as narrow as one inch wide. Sorry, I'm reading all this. If a creature touches you or hits you with a melee attack, it takes asset damage. Actions, pseudo beak, melee weapon attack, plus five. 17. And this is on Avena, right? Of course. Okay, now that you rolled that, roll a D4 to see if you get the correct one. I know which one. He doesn't, though. He wasn't there. No, I command him. I'm commanding the Oozling. I think, let me double check the wording on mirror image. I think you have to roll it every time. Command the Oozling to attack an enemy within range.

So if it's not like his spell and I know which one's the right one, then why do I still not know what the right one is? The only time you don't have to make the check is if it has blind sight or true sight. All other times, every time there's an attack. Regardless, you have to make the check. Really? Mm-hmm. That's a bummer. He's a bummer.

Actually, this is kind of- this is funny. Watch this. I rolled a four. That's not funny at all. No. So it goes to the wrong one, right? So it attacks the wrong one, but- Because the Gooselink has this ability, it then keeps attacking. So, uh, it attacks the wrong one, and that one actually blinks out of existence. So now there are three Avenas. Yeah, run the Gooselink! Take them all out! Oh, there was- she made three copies? Oh, yeah, that's why you made me do it four. Exactly. It keeps attacking. It keeps attacking? The way that it works-

If it fails on the attack, roll it. Is that a fail? No, that's a success because it hit. Okay, so it hit. Blink that one out of existence. Correct. Okay, thank you. Sorry, we're learning about this thing. So the next time we would roll a d6 and then divide. Correct. Yeah. Oh, I should have read the second attack instead. Oh, I should have done that. I didn't know I had a second attack. It has an AoE attack. You said earlier it had bubbling hiss. Yeah, I didn't know that was an AoE thing. Oh, okay.

Okay, that's fine. We live and we learn. Yeah. I know, Pierre. Okay. And as a bonus action, I can move to another aggressive creature that I want to be aggressive against. So I'm going to go against... Can I just roll a dice and pick which one? You can just say one of them. You don't have to pick right now. It goes to one of them. Yeah. I'm done. Sorry, that took forever. Barney, you're up. Then after Barney, Elga. So she goes now...

Yeah, I guess he would unstun now at the end of Matide's turn because he was not restunned. Yeah, only person stunned is... Oh, no, Avena and Eddie are stunned. No. No, Eddie's not. Correct, it's just Avena. I have these silver metal chains and stuff. Is there a way I could, like, tie them?

around him in a way that would like... You can try. We'd have to make like an unarmed strike to touch him and then some kind of like either strength check or athletic check, we'll just figure it out, like for a grapple, essentially. Like a grappling to sign him up. Right.

Okay, I guess I'll give that a shot. All right, so make an unarmed strike, first of all, to see if you're able to, like, grab him, get your hands on him. Is it 18? That's exactly what you need. So you're able to put your hands on him. So then make an opposed strength roll with him. Okay, your fathers are hugging. Does it matter at all that I'm also using, like, silver on him? Well, no, because this is you're trying to get him under control first before we even pull the chains out. All right, opposed strength. Thankfully, I got old man strength.

18. Ooh, that's pretty good. My strength is plus three. Roll bad. Did you say roll bat? Bat. Bat? Bat. Eight. Yes! Luckily. Luckily.

All right, yeah. So you're able to grab him and kind of wrestle him to the ground and you pull out the chains. You start trying to tie him up with them. Tie him up. Ideally, where I could like wrap it around his, both his like mouth and arms. Does that make sense? So it's like a chain going out of the hat. Yeah, he's hog tying him. Yeah, I think hog ties when you put like the four limbs together. Yeah, you know.

It's just a funny middle image you got, so you don't have to take it literally. And then I don't know if I, like, as part of that, like, use, I have a nail and a hammer, and I just, like, bend a hammer so it, like, bends the chains. Bend a hammer so it bends the chains? Bend the nail, like, take a nail and then hit it with a hammer so it bends the nails so it acts as kind of like a thing holding it together. Does that make sense? Yeah, I'm just trying to think if you have enough, like, actions for that kind of stuff or, like, you have to hold him for the next turn for that.

What was the sight that my gooseling needed to be able to know which one to hit? True sight or blind sight? It has blind sight. It does? It does. Sorry, I'm learning about my goose as I go. It's a news goose. Senses, blind sight, 60 feet. This is perplexing. Gob smacked. Where is that? Senses, yeah, blind sight, 60 feet? Yeah. Oh.

Yeah, do you want to go back? I just want to- I'll just roll damage. Okay. That's all I got to do. And I'm attacking the correct- So the mirror image is still there then? Yes. But you are attacking- Yes. Just roll your damage for the correct event. Yes. And so it's not going to be a lot. It's actually- It's 4d4. And then also some acid damage. 4d4.

Three. Two. Four. Four. One. Three. Fourteen. Fourteen. Plus two. Sixteen bludgeoning damage. And then five plus two is seven acid damage. And these are all on the Avena's? Just on the real Avena. On the real. Ouch. You know, I've never, my parents didn't buy me a goose thing when I was a little kid, so I don't really know a lot about them. So I'm just learning as I go. Just learning.

It really tells you, like, if you're gonna get a pet, do the research first. Okay, yeah, that's a good amount of damage. I said good gooseling. I hate that gooseling. Step back into the conversation we had with Barney. I'd say if you want to try to, like, bend a nail and do all that, that's gonna have to be, like, another action.

Like, you have him held with the chains for now, but yeah, I think now that's a lot of stuff to do at once. Okay. Then I guess with the way I've tied him up, is it a thing where I'm confident that he can't get out of it at this point? I mean, you feel like you have the upper hand for now. Okay. You think, you know, he's going to, of course, continue to try to fight, but I can't say because we're going to probably have to make another roll or something. So he's, like, grappled then? Yes. He is currently restrained. Excellent. Excellent.

Because of the silver, does that give it any sort of advantage? I don't know. That's what kept him in the coffin. Yeah. We should have just brought that coffin with us. Yeah!

Should've grabbed it on the way out of the cut, toppling Vancefire. Was that my action or a bonus action? That was action. Shuffling a coffin into your bag of holding. Then, for my bonus action... You step on the nail. I'm going to, I guess... How far away is Eddie? He's too far away. I'll use my spiritual weapon and bonk him with a statue of me and I'll go... Hugo? Yeah. Okay.

Bonk Hugo? Well, because he was talking about Eddie, and then he just says, I'm going to bonk him. Like, I don't know who you're talking about. And is he, would this have advantage since he's tied up? Roll it, and then let's find out. Okay. In the theatrical adaptation of this campaign, there's actually a really good Hugo already out there that could play your dad. Hugo Weaving.

That's a good creepy vampire dad. I want to watch that. Yeah, attack rolls against the creature have advantage. Has the statue changed to Barney helping Elga ride a bike? That's 22 and 29. That's a hit. That's a hit.

That's a six total damage of force damage. And then that's the end of my turn. I'll just stay there kind of holding the chains. Okay. Elga. Okay. Still have Hunter's Mark on you. Fake dad. I see you. I see you. Did they move away from me when Barney was doing all this? Or are they still? No, we're right there. Hugo and Barney. Oh, no, they're still right by you. Okay, cool. Could I please use my bat hole axe? Yes, please.

And can I hit him with my battle axe? Okay. That... Ooh...

is a nat 20. Yeah. I'm a big fan that so far we've all been like mostly fighting our nemesis. Like you and Barney are like fighting bad dad and Blaine went straight for Eddie and I went for a Vayna. Wait, is it Vayna? Yeah. He's declared it. Yeah. And that is a 23 points of damage. Okay. Let me double check that. Make sure that it did the crit correctly. It's 2d10 plus 6.

I just want to make sure you're getting all of the damage you should be getting out of this. So what we're going to do is we're going to change one of those. We're going to change that second one from a nine to a 10. So it's actually 24 points of damage. And then plus another D6 because he is my hunter's mark. So that's an extra five. Nice.

So it'd be 29. Are you raging? I'm not. Oh. Oh. Because she used the bonus action for Hunter's Mark at the start. Yeah. I could have done it this turn. I just forgot. Full disclosure. I was just too focused on... Yeah, yeah, yeah. ...swinging and swinging. Ironically. I know. Ironically, you're so angry you forgot to rage. Well, it's also because I have a different bonus action in mind. Oh, cool. Nice. And then I'm going to hit him again. Okay. Just going to keep eating my popcorn and watch the show. Once again. I don't know if that'll hit. That's a 16. Oh, you have advantage because he's restrained.

Oh, wonderful. Another 16. That does not hit. Oh. Okay. As a bonus action, I want to use my bat barrage. So for this one, when you attack a creature, you could use a bonus action to speak a command word and the battle axe transforms into a swarm of bats that attacks the target for up to one minute. When the swarm is killed or if the target is killed, the swarm turns back into a battle axe and falls to the ground.

So the axe flies out of your hands, forms a swarm of bats and surrounds Hugo and begins attacking him, biting at him. So roll a d20 and add four for that attack. d20 coming in. Five plus four, nine. Yeah, so they don't actually hit, but they're, you know, annoying him. They're in his space, biting at him, flapping all around. Okay. You have inspiration? You're so funny, though. I just, I used it on my last one. I think she did use it, yeah. Yeah, and that's my turn. Okay. Good turn. Whee!

It's Avena's turn. Oh, I thought it was my turn. She's stunned. You're after Avena. Okay, I'll wait. Okay, so there are still four Avenas. I thought one got... No, we ended up retconning that because the Goosling has a million abilities. Never mind. Hong Kong. This'll be fun. Oh, no.

And Mateed, you left and you're up at the top, right? Yeah. By the way, yeah, big thank you to the community for that goozling. That's a good item. Yeah, thank you guys. Yeah. Gus loves it. Came up with that in Discord. Oh, I was there for the making of this. Yeah. I forgot.

It's like I made it just for you, Gus. Just for you. Goose. Goose down. Okay. You can't really see because you flew away from her, but Raveena darts her eyes and begins looking at you, Mateed. Make a wisdom saving throw. What is she trying to do? I'll tell you in a second. Okay. We're just normal men.

Why was that so funny? That video is like, it doesn't make any sense. It's the best meme. What is that? It's a puppet talking to a woman. We were just men. Just normal men. 14. You feel your limbs beginning to lock up a bit. You feel like someone's using a whole person on you. What effect does that do? Paralyze.

Is Mateed humanoid? Yes, I double-checked it. Aarakocranes are bird-like humanoids. Even though they're a ghost? Correct. Okay. Yeah, I don't think there's anything I can do to counter that. I'm not immune to paralyzing. The stunners are now the stunned. Stunners. Stunners.

So you freeze up until at the end of your turn, you can make another wisdom saving throw. You're incapacitated, can't move or speak. You fail strength and dexterity saving throws. Attacks against you have advantage. Any attack that hits the creature is a critical hit if the attacker's within five feet. It's kind of like stunned.

Very similar. I guess that takes away the cold arrow I was going to launch in your direction. I'll hold off on it. Is there anything else Savannah can do? No. Chip, you're up. I know he's like super high up and all that stuff. How high would I be able to reach him in a single turn if I climbed up that thing? Would you be able to get to the top of the stump in one turn? Yeah. It's a 50-foot climb. I don't think you could get up there even with a double move. Okay. I can still see Eddie though, right? Yeah, you still see him. Okay. Then I'm going to shoot with crossbow of coolness again.

That's a... Oh my god, it's a nat 20. 28. Oh, believe it or not, that's a hit. Okay. Roll that damage. Believe it or not, straight to jail. 15. Believe it or not.

So it already, one of the rolls was the six. That's the one I normally do, that second one. So that is correct damage, 15 points from the crossbow. And also Matide is within five feet of Eddie, yeah? Yes. Okay, so then I also use sneak attack. But Matide is not threatening because Matide is paralyzed.

You really gonna do this, Gus? That's the way it works. They're not threatening. They're gonna still attack even though they don't have advantage on it. Dems the rules. He's gotta be rules on some things. He's literally surrounded by enemies and he's not gonna get used to that. Well, they're not able to do anything. All right. Well, fine. Then I use a bonus action to hide. I'm gonna hide. There you go. And then...

Uh, heck it. I'll actually... If my walking speed is 40, can I start climbing or is it... Walking is... Climbing speed's half of... Correct. Okay. And if you're hiding, make a stealth check just so I have note of what it was. Okay. I... Let me double check that my shoes don't give me anything...

I think they give you advantage, don't they? They do on stealth. I'm more talking about if I tried to climb. I don't know if they have anything about that. You get 10 feet of movement speed. Yeah, that doesn't really do much. Well, it gives you a little more. So instead of 15 feet of climb, you get 20. Yeah. No, that's because I wouldn't be able to complete it by the time. So I'm just going to hide. I'm just going to hide. And then I'm going to do a stealth check with advantage. So you're not climbing? No, I'm not going to do that.

That's a 25 and a 27. All right. All right. Why? Hey, there's the rules. You got to play by the rules. Gus is being real mean. He's so mean. All right. Is that your future? Yes, it is. Actually, maybe the only movement I can imagine doing is just getting it in a more advantageous...

Say it again. Take two. Advantageous spot. There you go. So, like, maybe I'm up in the stands or something. That way I have a better perspective on Eddie. That way he can't, like, hide from my angle. That could help, but then you end up getting further away at the same time. Okay. Then I'll just hide. Okay.

Alright, so Dante, she's gonna try to get out of her restraints. Oh, so I apologize. It says it in there. It says, uh, you don't need advantage on the attack roll if another enemy of the target is within five feet. That enemy is incapacitated and you don't have disadvantage on the attack roll. So, that's my bad. Yeah, I'm not making this up arbitrarily to mess with you guys. Well, no, I thought you were saying, well, they're not, they're like a non-combatant because of this thing. And I was like, well...

Yeah, they are combatants. It says it. Yeah, they're not able to. My apologies. Yeah, the spirit behind it is that your ally or their other enemy is supposed to be there kind of threatening them so their attention is distracted and you're able to get like that critical strike in or that precise strike. If they're not threatening, it's like all their attention can be focused on you as opposed to there. That makes sense. Sorry for the hiss. No problem, Sadate. Alchemist. We're back up at the top with Hugo, who is currently restrained.

At this point, maybe it's because of the earthquakes or some other unseen disaster, but the tide of loxessness starts pouring into the amphitheater from the south, covering the forest floor in two feet of loquit. Furious blue viscous fluid coming in from the south. Some of you are going to be touching it, though.

you're fine because you're a bird but elga uh-huh barney and chip i have a question do we have any sort of chance to react to this or do anything it's all happening pretty quick what kind of like damage is it doing or like what what effects does it have it's really weird you all i guess don't know you didn't see it but when chip touched it it uh made him lose his memory briefly how long we've been in combat for

This is round three. So 12 seconds. 12 seconds. Is it, it's not, so it's not like necrotic or disease or anything like that, is it? No. Okay. So those of you who are on the ground who I mentioned make constitution saving throws.

21. 16. 19. Okay. Chip is the only one who succeeded. Wow. That's a high save. I guess you need a 20 or more, probably. That's mean. Dang it. Gosh, he's so mean today. So mean. I don't remember. Wait, why is he mean? I don't remember. They're just saying I'm mean. He's doing the fact that he forgot his memory. He's following the rules, Chris. Oh, my gosh.

Thank you, Barbara. Yeah, I got you. I got the joke. The layer. I didn't get it. That's pretty good. So where was I? Elga? You are awesome. Thank you. Your memory becomes fuzzy and you can't remember how you got here to this spot. I went to this spot. You feel like for some reason the last hour of your memory is just really fuzzy and hazy. For some reason the last hour of my memory is funny and hazy. Can I respond to this? Can Chip respond to this? Yeah, sure. We're in the middle of a battle. We walked in and then they went, well,

Welcome to our trap. And it's Hugo and Avena and Eddie's up on that big thing and the alchemist is up there too. And, uh, bad. We gotta fight. So you said a round is six seconds, right? So how many rounds did Chip's speech just take? Shit.

Barney, same applies to you. This isn't your normal dimension. But I imagine like we know our memory loss isn't like of who's bad and who's good type thing. Correct. Yeah. It's just like the last hour. You still recognize everyone. Then you know what everyone is. You like you remember the VAMP Spire, all of that stuff. It's just the last hour. It's just that for some reason. Terrible thought to think that you're just like suddenly in combat and you're like, where are

Where am I? It's actually scary. Luckily, Barney, you don't suffer from that. Oh, what? His mastery of dimension. So whatever happened didn't affect him? Barney, yeah, you remember everything. You just feel like you grow way older. As you're standing there, you get 15 years older.

That's another 15 years. And meta game-wise, you take a level of exhaustion. But that doesn't happen to Elga? No. Yours is just the memory. Okay. Exhaustion. Why is that happening to Barney? It might be like a random... It's a random thing. Oh, gotcha. What stuff are they dumping into this lock? Are they polluting this place? Yeah. Sounds like it. And then, Chip, you succeeded your saving throw, right? Yeah. Also, wouldn't Hugo also be affected by this? Yes. And I'm going to roll theirs here in a second. Okay.

Oh, Chip, you also get the aging thing. Oh. Oh, but you succeeded, so yours isn't as bad. Oh, okay. I was going to say, am I like a silver fox? You get 13 years older. So does that have an effect? But no exhaustion. You just have disadvantage on your next action. You see what a good cardiovascular workout can do for you? It's like fine wine. Everybody take note.

And you too, you look like hell. So it would also affect Hugo and that's it. Not Avena? Avena's up in the stands. Right. So it's only like two feet deep. So it's only the ground. Let me roll Hugo's save here. He rolls a save.

However, he can also choose to succeed on a save, and he does. What? He has that stupid power as well. My next character, I'm going to go for that, man. It's his turn. So he's restrained. And he's still being attacked by the bats. Yes, he's being attacked by the bats, and he's being held down by the silver chains. That's right.

So he's practically dead. And he is submerged in this stuff. Oh, he's drowning. Yeah, yeah. He's going to try to struggle his way out of it. Make me an opposed strength check here, Bart. Don't forget you have inspiration if you fail this. And exhaustion. So I have disadvantage on this? Yeah. Why are we whispering? I don't know. I don't know.

I just wanted to be part of it. How does it? First one, 21. You should do a whole ASMR campaign at some point. No one will listen. Second one is 12. What would an inspo do on that? Yeah, what would it? Well, let me roll and then we'll see. Okay. Wait, did I have advantage? Disadvantage, I think. Oh, I had disadvantage, so that would be a 12. Yeah. Because you're exhausted.

Barney, you're so tired. You're so tired. What does the silver do to him? It helps. I've never said explicitly, but it does help. Four. So he does not succeed. Okay.

So he curses at you, looking at you in the eyes, Barney. He mutters under his breath, and you see him change into a giant bat. Is he underwater? Not anymore. Is he doing some blurble grubbles? Yeah, my question is, he's changing into a giant bat, but I have him wrapped up in silver. Yeah, but it's like the size is different. He goes, ooh, and he hooks out of it. So is...

But he still has the silver on him or what? Well, he's able to fly free from it. Yeah. He flies up into the air and hover, let's say about 50 feet up, kind of the same height as the tree stump. What kind of noises do you make? Oh, that's nice. That's good. It was the amateur sounds. It was the owl that we were making the fun of the screech, right? That was a bat. It was a bat? They were fighting over clicks or screeches. Yeah, that's what I was getting at.

All right. So it's Eddie's turn. Of course it is. Yeah. Then after Eddie is Mateed, then Barney. He would take an attack of opportunity from me, though. Yeah, he would. Why not? For my attack of opportunity, I would like to shoot him with a silver bane. It has to be melee. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay.

Then can I do this? Can I just stab them with one of the arrows? Sure, why not? Like, I don't know how that works. Just make a, like an, we'll call it an arm strike, but just make an unarmed strike so you'll be able to hit them. It's a nat 20. Okay, yeah, you're able to hit them. I only have disadvantage on ability checks, right? What does it say? Because of exhaustion. I imagine you don't have disadvantage on attack rolls. Yeah, I think it's just ability checks. What does it say? Disadvantage on ability checks. Yes! Okay.

So that's a crit. Gus is like, just read. Just read. That's all I'm asking. Sorry. Did you do the homework? Yeah. So you're able to stab him with that bolt. Go ahead and what's the damage on that? Well, let's see. On a crit, I'll roll the damage. So that was it. And then we'll add another six to that. Well, it doesn't quite work because that damage assumes you're firing it with the force of like a bow of some kind. So I'll say we'll just do the three plus six for nine.

Okay, and then when you successfully hit an undead creature with this bolt, it deals an additional 3d8 radiant damage. The creature then has to make a constitution saving throw, DC 13 plus proficiency bonus. On a failed save, they become stunned until the end of their next turn. Okay, and it does get another plus two to damage because it is supernatural silver. I'm adding that in right now. Minus 11. Supernatural.

And then the constitution saving throw. Constitution is plus three. Additionally, if the creature is an undead creature that is also a shape changer, they cannot transform using their shape changer trait for the next minute. Trapped as a bat for the next minute. Well, that's a 16. So the save is successful, but it still takes the damage. That was a good reaction. Roll the 3d8. All right. That would have been so cool. It already was, Chris. 3d8? Yeah.

It was a good thought. At seven radiant damage. Okay. And he's vulnerable to radiant, isn't he? I don't know if I've ever said, but it sounds like that would be the case. Well, it's a vampiric trait. And also, I have a blessed strike. If you're blessed with divine might battle, when a creature takes damage from one of your cantrips or weapon attacks, you can also deal 1d8 radiant damage. Yeah, I don't see any reason why that wouldn't proc.

The name is Max. Min Max. So roll a D8. So that's an extra five radiant damage. All right. My next character name in another campaign is going to be Min Max. That was a lot of damage for something that wasn't even your turn. For a thousand-year-old man going, ugh. All right. Is that it? For my reaction? For my attack of opportunity? Yes.

All right. Yeah, he takes a lot of damage, but still flies away as a bat, looking at you with evil, angry bat eyes. Yeah, emotionally, where is he at right now? That's what I want to know. He's not good. Has he ever been? Stay away from my family. Oh, that's pretty cool. And then talking about me this time. All right, Eddie's turn. Who's up here? There's a paralyzed Mateed. Chip is down below hiding. He's down below hiding.

Hugh goes off to the side as a bat. You can't find me. And Alchemist is still up there too, right? Yeah. Where am I, Eddie? Come find me. Come find me. Oh, I know. Eddie will close the distance over to Mateed and put out his arms wide. He's going to go in for a real loving hug. It's not going to be a hug. It's not very loving. But this is good, though. You want this. He's slaving his footing.

- Like a dummy. - That hits. - Oof. - AC 28. - Oh my God. - So yeah, he wraps his arms around you and holds tight, squeezing you, doing 27 points of bludgeoning damage.

Can you do like a dirty dancing where you lift Eddie above your head? How much was that? 27. 27? Yeah, 27. 27 points of bludgeoning damage, and you are grappled. How's your HP doing? That's the first time I'm taking a real hit. Yeah, he hugs you tight. Doesn't that feel good? Ew. Man, the urge right now that is trying to struggle through the incapacitation to just peck him.

He is like, perfect position. Well, it is now. Can I do anything else? That's it. So it is now your turn, Mateed. Then Barney the Nelga. I can't do anything except for check to see if I can get out of this incapacitation. Yeah, and that's at the end of your turn. Right, right. So as I said, I can't do anything but that. Sure. Okay, so what's the check? Wisdom saving throw. You can do it. I believe in you, Mateed.

Come on. I need you to talk in a very, very small mouth voice. Come on, Richard, you can do it. I'm using inspiration. That was a one. I'm using inspiration, Jason. I'm going to do it. Oh, that's a nat with like, it's like plus four, I think. So nat 20? Yeah. Yeah, you got it. Call Jack Bauer. The paralyzation wears off. You're able to shake your way out of it. You're still grappled, but you can actually...

finally move again. I have you right where I want you. Oh my god. I'm just imagining him grappling you and your eyes just...

boasting open and be like, I see you. It enrages you so much. Barney. Wait. You make the check at the end. Oh, the gooseling. Yeah. Yeah. Honk. And the gooseling knows which one to actually, no, wait. Well, it's got blindsight, so they can automatically pick the right one. But the other ones remain though, correct? Correct. I kind of want to get rid of them because I think that would be beneficial for any further actions against... Curses. Curses.

this little snot rag. So it has bubbling hiss. You ferociously hiss and exhale acidic bubbles in a 15 foot cone. Are they that close to each other? Yes. Okay. Each creature in that area must make a DC 13 deck saving throw and they all take like damage or half damage no matter what. So we're

Regardless, all of the mirrors, all the fake ones disappear. So you might as well not even roll for them. I'm not even going to roll. I'm just going to roll for a vein. So roll for DC 13 deck save. My dex is plus six, so I need a seven or better. Okay. 15, so that's 21. Okay. 3D6. That's five. Four. Three.

That's a six. Fifteen plus two, seventeen. Yeah, so half that. So we're going to do eight. Acidic damage. Cool. And then I guess it's in melee range. What? Yeah. So I think... Honk. Honk. Yeah, that's it. That's it. I'm being very careful about letting this guy go because I missed using him well last time. So yeah. Honk. And I'm done. Okay. Okay.

That's Barney. Barney the Nelga. Where's the water that's around us? Like, how is it, like... On the ground. It's coming in from the southern portion. So, like, how much is it? Like, two feet deep. Two feet deep? Okay. Okay.

And then how far away is Hugo? He flew up, right? Yeah, he flew up 50 feet above. 50 feet above? Okay. If I did my steps of night, would I be able to grab Alga? Steps of night. Where I can get my flying speed equal to my walking speed. Is it nighttime? It is not. It's late afternoon. Okay. So, yeah, I mean, you could, but it's not dim light or darkness. Mm-hmm.

Could he maybe use a spell to cause another light to appear in the area, which then would make it dimmer everywhere else? Yeah, how does that work? I mean, it's fine. I'm making a callback to you trying to do that in the hide-and-sink episode where you thought adding a light to the room would make it dimmer. It just made it a little dumber. It was a different vote. I guess is there a higher area around?

I mean, you go up the seating. The seating is like stadium style. That's where it goes up. That's why Avena wasn't affected by the Lockwood. Yeah. How far away is that? It's not too far away from where you are. It's only like five to ten feet away. And then is that towards or away from Hugo? So he went up. He went straight up. Yeah. He's on that Z axis. Okay. Yeah.

Come on, we're my geometry nerds then. Right here, baby. I want to ask you, you said like how far up? 40 feet? 50. Then I want to try and shoot him again. Can I jump towards the stands and shoot up at him while I jump? Yeah, I mean, I would say that would be a disadvantage. You can move and then shoot. All right, I'll do that. It won't be as cool, Gus. Yeah, you can move up onto the stands like 10 feet up and like,

That doesn't put you very high. It puts you just above the lock width, but you're out of it. Then you can take a shot. And so how close am I to him now? I'm at that point, 45 feet. Okay. Then, yeah, I'm going to shoot him with the silver bane bolt. I guess at disadvantage. I mean, this wouldn't be disadvantage. Disadvantage is just if you were, like, jumping and trying to do that. Yeah, but the range of it is 30 feet. Oh, gotcha. Well, actually, it says...

- The crossbow says 80 feet, but then the silver-maned bolt says 30. So I'm shooting it with the crossbow. - So yeah, they are just ammo being fired by the crossbow. - Okay, so I would get my normal 80 feet. Okay, cool. - Your normal... - 80 feet of range for the crossbow? - Gotcha, yes, yes, yes. - All right. Well then I'm gonna shoot him with a silver-maned bolt. That's a 26.

That hits. Yes. And I'm going to roll for that. That's six. And then I guess plus two. Yeah, so eight. And then... I can make the save? Yeah. 22. Dang it.

So I still take the damage. Isn't there like a 3d8 radiant damage as well? Yeah, 3d8 radiant damage. I'll roll that now. That's 13. Okay. Plus, I'll then do the same action again. That whatever, blessed strike or whatever it's called. Oh, right. So I can do that once per turn. That was only one. But it's all radiant. Radiant.

Once you deal this damage, you can use a star to your next turn. Yep. Okay, one. All right. That's my action and movement, right? Yes. You still have some movement if you want to move more. Oh, well, I guess you're out of the water. Then, yeah, I would go up as much as I can. Yeah, you can keep climbing up the stairs a bit more just to put more distance between yourself and the lockwood. Is there anyone within 20 feet of me at this point? Mm-mm. I mean, no enemy. No. And then you move. No, there's no one within 20 feet. Even though it goes a little further away at this point.

There she is. Bye. Where am I? Have you taken damage? No. Yes, technically I have. Then I'll do a mass healing word. I mean, I took five points of damage. I don't know if it's worth using right now. Well, then I'll just do my regular healing word if you don't need it. Okay. I'll do healing word on myself. I'm at 103 out of 108. What's your healing word? Can't be Bengay. Give me a new one. It's... That's a weird one. I'll throw you one in.

Prunes. Prunes. The magical fruit. Metamucil. Metamucil. And is that it for Barney? Yeah. All right. It's Elga, then Avena, then Chip. Elga's probably like, what?

It's happening. Claire. I'm going to rage. Get that out of the way. So confused. Yeah, so confused and angry. And then I'm going to see that there's water all over the ground. Lockwood. Lockwood. Thank you. Would I know that, though? Who knows? Yeah. And then I want to run up into the stands. Okay. Kind of following Barney, I assume? Yeah. Get some higher ground there so I'm not in the water anymore. Lockwood. Thank you. Lockwood.

And then between me and Hugo, are we within 60 feet of each other? Because you said he's 60 feet up. He went 50 feet up. You walked over there. We're doing hypotenuse math again. He's probably about 60. Okay. I would like to throw my axe of the scarab at him. Eating it. Do 28. That hits.

I would imagine so. Doing 13 plus 3 from my rage. 16 points of damage. All right. 16. Got it. And then I'm going to do it again. All right. Keeping it simple. Oh, also Hunter's Mark. Right? So that would be another d6, which is another 3. So add that on. Nice. And then I hit again for 22. For 22 or you hit 22? Hit 22. Yeah, that hits. Okay. Doing... So that's 12 plus 3 is 15 plus...

So another 17 points of damage. 17. Okay. Hmm. And then... And then... Yes, and? Yes, and? Could I put on my ring of springtime? Sure, why not? What does that do? A fabled ring crafted from ignis, glass, and infused with the blood of youths.

Oh, this is an action. Never mind, I can't. I don't think I can put it on. It says, using an action, the ring can transform the target's body into a mature adult in their prime. You can put it on, just you can't activate it. Okay, I put it on. So many rings. I can hear those. Yeah. And that'll be it. Okay. It is Avena's turn, then Chip. Avena, Caesar, come get me. Come out and play. Come out and play.

Won't play with us. The gooseling's just pecking at her, so she can't really pay attention. She looks across the amphitheater to you, Elga. She looks at the gooseling and looks at Mateed. And then she actually addresses Mateed. With a sneer, she says, You should have never sent me to the Australian plane. Now I know where it is. And with that, she blinks out of existence. That's scary. Uh-oh, our stuff. Oh!

Yeah, I did what I could do. She's too powerful. She's creepy. She's pretty powerful and creepy. And then a short time later, she blinks back into existence atop the stump. I feel like she should be able to travel that far, but you know, that's just because it's a stinker, man. Chip, you're up. Hey there, Chipainty here. Good to see you. How you doing?

Good. Okay. Who are you asking? I didn't know who to respond to. You know, just... Chip Haney, the author of the Home Owners Association. Oh, very similar. Do you want me to autograph your copy? God. I'm going to shoot the cross... Okay, okay. Really quick. They're on top of the stump. I know that the alchemist is up there, and I know that Eddie is up there. And now Avena. And Avena and Mateed. And Mateed. Two questions. One, how far away is Hugo from them?

You can't see him because the stump is in the way blocking it. Okay. Chip doesn't know it, but Blaine, you heard this. Hugo is 50 feet up in the air, but on the other side of the stump from you. So you can't see him, but he's at the same height of the top of the stump, but just on the other side. Outside of my dear sweet Mateed, is there anybody within 10 feet of Eddie? Within 10 feet would be...

Maybe Avena and the Alchemist. You wouldn't know that because you can't see. Okay. If I, like, shoot that ice thing, it's like 4d6 ice damage. That can, like, totally mess you up, dude. I mean, possibly. That's a big range. Okay. All right. Well, then I'm just going to shoot the crossbow of coolness at Eddie. I already made that roll, and it was a 24. 16 plus 8. That hit? Okay. And then I'm going to do...

The damage. And that's eight points of damage. Eight points of damage on Eddie. And then we also have the thing that you might not let happen, but that's okay because I forgive you. Because Matita's within five feet, does that allow me... I'm not incapacitated anymore. Correct. Matita's not incapacitated. In fact, Matita's grappling with Eddie. So that is the maximum level of engagement you can have. Oh, great. So then that lets me do a sneak attack?

Yeah, you can add your sneak dice to that. Okay, and I think that is... I'm looking for it. I think it's 5d6. I believe you are at 5d6 currently. Cool. This is all from memory, so I'm just like... Bravo. So good. All right, here we go. I'm going to roll that. Cha-cha-cha. See a lot of ones. See six. Oh, 18. Good.

That's pretty good. Okay, there's that. So that was my attack. And then as far as movement... I'm still in the water, yeah? Lockwood. Guys, I'm so sorry. If you just said liquid, he wouldn't be able to correct you. I've been stepping out of line so much this campaign. Everyone keeps saying water. Am I in Lockwood? Yes, you are. Okay, then I'm going to move out of it. I'm going to get into the stand so that I can get above it. Yeah, it's pretty easy to move over there out of the Lockwood. And then I'm also going to use cunning action to hide.

Okay, make your stealth roll. He probably would say it's not liquid, it's lockwood. No, he couldn't because it is a liquid. Yes, it is a liquid. Liquid is an elemental state. The wet stuff, how about that? Yeah, that works. A 23 and a 29. 29 then, right? So 29 with advantage. Yep. And then I poop out of appearance. That's my turn. I bow. Thank you and good night. Heck of a dance number. Thanks.

It's the source of his heckish rebuke. With that, the alchemist finishes brewing his potion, draws from the draught and stiffly holds out a glass vial, dripping with golden fluid. With lightning speed, Hugo flies in and snatches the elixir from his hands and quaffs the concoction without hesitation. The alchemist's eyes turn back to Hazel, albeit horror-stricken. Hugo smiles wide for a moment, but it quickly fades and he starts retching violently, hurling sallow slop onto the floor.

You worthless peddler of potions! You'll pay for your impotence! Hugo heads straight for the alchemist, his fangs and claws extended, ready to rip through the man's throat. But at the last moment, a skinless figure steps between them. Hugo's claws plunge deep into Eddie's sinewy chest, and green blood spews from his burnt veins. Eddie cries out in agony and falls to his knees. Out of my way, you cursed lunatic! Oh, but where's the fun in that? Hey, Hugo?

Your usefulness has run its course, Edward. Hugo lunges Fang first into his sinewy neck and Eddie wraps both his hulking arms around the vampire like a constricting snake. Eddie laughs maniacally one last time and pulls Hugo with him into the blue viscous lock. Not but a moment later, a vampiric visage emerges, drenched in the sapphire slime. Hugo shrieks as his skin boils and curls into a disfigured abomination. Ah!

One way or another, this ends now. Two sinewy wings rip off on his back and a hideous Hugo flies off to the east. The alchemist stumbles to the ground. He shakes his head with furrowed brows. I don't understand. The elixir was ready, so why didn't it... Where am I? D-

Dad? A boy with olive complexion, rosy cheeks, dressed in torn rags steps out from the lockwood. What? Henry? What? Huh? I knew it! Wait, wait. Never trusted that little boy from the start. I called this from the beginning. We should have never let him out of that closet. You should have stayed in the closet.

Find out what it all means and what's happening in next week's episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Oh my God, I'm so confused. What does that mean? So, Eddie was Henry? Find out what it means and what happens in next week's episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Wait, wait, wait. And he no escapes? Barbara, find out what happened and what it means. Hold on, hold on. Now, does that mean that Henry was Eddie? Find out what happened and what it means in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Wait, wait, wait. Why don't we find out what happened? Cut the mics. Cut the mics. David, get us out of here.

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If you're not a patron yet, here's a taste of what you're missing. What do you guys do now? I think we should go check out the security office and look for the security cameras. I don't know. The teacher told us to go back to our rooms. Yeah, teacher also stabbed me in chest. So I'm kind of, you know, not wanting to listen to what they say. You didn't go to your room. I don't want to get stabbed in my chest. Dorkius, you know, sometimes to be cool, you just have to go against the grain and like not do what authority figures tell you.

Okay. Why don't you just pretend to be a teacher that's taking us to this somewhere else? Listen, I don't know if a 13-year-old is going to pass as a teacher here. He has shapeshifting abilities. That's true. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what I meant. He just starts sweating profusely. Oh, I thought Chris was being smart about his abilities. No, Chris was just saying this 13-year-old was going to pass. No, no, that's what I meant. I meant he, like, transformed into... Uh-huh, yeah, sure, sure, sure. I did! Uh-huh.

Again, that's patreon.com/stinkydragon and we can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. This week's Arrow question was submitted by Unipants over on Discord. Also want to thank some friends who write a voiceover for characters in this episode like The Alchemist, voiced by Blizz, @blizzbear,

Eddie, voiced by Andrew Rosas, at Mr. Andrew Rosas. Avena Von Brath, voiced by Kristen Nelson, at Kristen Alin. Henry Esteban, voiced by Ash Hildreth, at Luminous Ash. Hugo Von Brath, voiced by Trevor Collins, at underscore Trevor C. And Sedate Timpour, voiced by Patty Reisinger. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger. Head on over to patreon.com slash stinky dragon for all things stinky. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.