C02 - Ep. 45.5 - Vengeance in Vainia - Between the Tales
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Hello everyone, welcome to Tales of the Stinky Dragon. It's time for a Between the Tales. Is it scary? You have no rhymes, there's no enunciation. What is going on here? I'm giving jazz hands. Does that help? Alliteration. Look at my jazz hands. Your jazz hands are kind of creepy. Yes, audio listeners, look at his jazz hands. They are very like... I'm gonna grab...

I'm going to steal your food. We all float down here. I'm your Dungeon Master, Gustavo Ferreira. I am joined by our four players who I'm not hitting with an arrow today. So players, why don't you just introduce yourselves? I'm Blaine.

I don't know who's going first, so I just went for it. I'm Blaine. I play Chip Haney. I'm a level 7 tiefling. Level 9 tiefling rogue. What? Oh, spoiler. Was I supposed to say that? Yeah, sure. Why not? Restart the whole session. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Between the Tails. Go, go, Blaine. Oh, what? That was it? What else was I supposed to say? I don't know. What's your favorite...

Pair of underwear you own. Is this my arrow? You know, I actually switched to briefs recently. Oh. Just to try them out. You know, to lose the lining because I have boxer lining. Yeah. And they're terrible. I hate them. They're very uncomfortable. But they look great. When you say you have boxer lining, what does that mean? You know, like, because I wear really short shorts. They're all very tight. And they just, like, you just see the line on my thigh when I'm wearing my pants. Oh.

So if we switch to like tighty-whities and the line got it. It's like a peaty line, but a box line. I got it. Okay. Yeah. I have a question. So you're saying tighty-whities, which to me is the appropriate way of saying it. I've heard some people say whitey-tighties. Incorrect. And I'm just like, that's not it. But so many people say whitey-tighties. And I'm like, no, it's tighty-whities. Van Broth? Von Brath. Is it whitey-tighty? Okay, sorry. Go ahead. Tighty-whitey. Stop. Whitey-tighty. Wefty-woosey.

I'm Chris Damaris. Hello, Chris. Who do you play? I play Barney Farney. You didn't do the voice? There it is. Okay. I was like, I don't know how long to let this go before I...

What's your favorite pair of underwear you own? Yeah, Ben was commenting that since we don't have an arrow, you all have forgotten how to introduce yourselves. And what level and class is Barney Farney? Barney Farney. He's a human cleric and recently level nine. Nice. Spoiler. Wow. Well, I'm Barbara Dunkelman. And I play Ogle and Brass.

The level nine half a vampire barbarian. I said that very kind of muddled because I was swallowing my food. Truly a Jill of all trades. Oh, thank you, Gus. She's she's many things. Also, we need to find out at some point what Bernie actually is, because there ain't no way this guy's human. He's just he's he's just a bunch of squirrels all on top of each other.

That explains his love of trying to collect random animals. True. Sure. Hi, I'm John Reisinger and I play Matide Confucius, who is an Eric Cochran ghost monk and is level 9.3. Ooh, nice. In D&D terms, it's still just level 9.

By the time that this episode comes out, then the episode with Avena will have come out and we record, my girlfriend plays Avena, Kristen, and we did her lines last night and there was this line where she says, Me take out the shoes, she makes me look so small. Oh my God. That's the most fun line.

I can't wait to hear that. I'm very excited. I'm a huge fan of Kristen in general, so I'm glad that she gets to do the part. I think that episode came out today that we're recording this episode. Oh, really? Yeah, I think that was the one that came out today. Yeah, that tracks.

There was an episode that came out today, but I don't know if it had... No, that's not today. That's not today. No, because we recorded last night, so I was like, I hope David didn't pull an all-nighter. No, no. Today is the rave party. Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right. Okay, yeah. So it's next week. Anyway, we do a lot of episodes. We have a lot of D&D going on. I was thinking about how yesterday... So the episode we recorded, we're getting ahead, so...

What came out last week, I realized I was like, it's my fiance and Blaine's girlfriend who are evil and they're against us. And I'm like, you two are conspiring. That's how it works. Speaking of all of this D&D we have going on.

We're going to do our favorite between the tails activity where one of you, whoever wants to, can try to accurately and succinctly recall the previous arc in only 90 seconds. Who wants to give it a shot? I think it's got to be Barbara because it's the VAM Spire. Yeah. No, Chris, I think you tried it last time. So I'm going to give Barbara a shot first. Well, he did raise his hand first. All right. No, no. Okay. Okay. Set a timer for 90 seconds. So I'm going to go. I'll go. All right.

All right, so we make our way to Vania and we are stopped by Sferatu who appear and tell us that we need to make an oath. But before that happens, Elga reveals to the party that she is a vampire.

where Barney does not react very well. And then we have to do that oath to get into Vania. Barney pretends to do it and then eventually has to do it, which takes a while. - 60 seconds. - And then we come in and then we do some shopping around town. And there's also like a protest happening out in the streets, people protesting Dracula, saying that he's making rules that people, he doesn't even follow himself. And then we eventually get into the Vamp Spire

by saying Stoker, which we figured out was the password. And then we meet a painter who has a key. We use that key to get all sorts of places and we find battlers are people who serve the vampires. And then we meet Quiffly, who is Elga's little helper guy. And then we eventually make our way through places. We meet Hoofer, who is on a farm. And then... That's what you bring up.

Details. And then we find Elga's place and realize that it's been all like messed up and there's a book with a page missing. And then we find out that her mother has returned and her sister's there and she's being weird. And also her dad is Hugo and he's evil.

That was quite a bit. There's a lot to get through. Anyone want to try to hop in with another 90 seconds? Oh, Chris, you go for it. Finish it up. I got one comment about how Barbara did a very good job of summarizing, but she did the thing that we all do when we're like writing a message on a piece of paper where you write the letters way too big at the beginning of it. And then you get to the end of the paper like...

Happy birthday. 90 seconds feels like it should be longer than that. I know. You got to like 30 seconds and you weren't even past the oath yet. Yeah. All right, Chris, give it a shot. Chris, go. I have a question. Do you want me to start from, do you want me to fill in the holes that Barb left or start from the beginning? Start from where Barb stopped. Okay. Go. Barb, one thing Barb forgot was in the, while running around the ramp, Spy, we ran into some bad,

who were Barney's family, his wife and two kids, they do not recognize him, have no memory of him, and then they ran off. And then they chased after them, quickly helped us get up to the...

uh, uh, uh, Elga's place. It was all ransacked. Um, there's weird writing on the wall and a secret thing, uh, in the floor. Uh, then there was, uh, there was also, uh, the Wolfman's daughter. We found her caged up. She ran off her name. I don't want to look right now. Um, then, then, uh,

Ran up, found there was a meeting of all the vampires. They announced that Elga's dad was going to be persecuted or in trial. They met Elga's mom and sister, and then sister betrayed us, tried to get us turned into bad guys. Then we go, we trick them and then say we're fine, and then we go up and we explore. We find Eddie. Then Eddie, we go through, we...

Bird steals some money from bad guys and then uh, uh, then we find out that vampire Dracula is is is knows knows I'm freaking out. Uh, Elga's Elga may be in party or his dad, mom, sister, daughter. Chris, why can't your turns go that fast?

Yeah, I mean, you got a lot of it. Y'all did get quite a bit. I know. I'm going to go over some real broad strokes just to fill in some details from the beginning. So just, you know, the arc started with you guys investigating Carol's death. That's when you, you know, you cured the alchemist. You received mail from Skipper, got visions from Gigi. Like Barbara said, you went, did the Vainian vows.

To flesh out a little more, the mob, or should I say the protesters, were Francesca, the Mummy, and Hexel, who were protesting. And you stopped the mob from attacking them. Specifically, you shopped at Lo's Hanging Fruit, Oldenware's,

Maron's Mantelry and Vaynard Valhara. Then you get into the Vamp Spire. You went into the Tales of Dock, which is the lower level. You met Graft the Painter, went to the workshop, the coffin with the secret room, the library. You freed some animals, took some bodies from the bestiary, visited the commissary. You ended up at the squirey where you found Quiffly. You saw visions at the squirey. You banished over the giant goat in the refusery.

sent some mail at the aviary, gained access to and shopped at the dregs, rescued Barney's family from some Sephiroth 2, then they ran away, entered the Clawstred, explored Elga's home, found Benicia, the Wolfman's daughter, explored more of Clawstred, entered the Triclinium, encountered Elga's mom, Countess Von Brath, listened to the Sephiroth 2 announcements about Count Von Brath's arrest, returned to Elga's home, interacted with the Countess Quiffly and Avena, played hide-and-sink,

Then you encounter some Sfratu who are looking for you guys, fought with them a little bit, ascended to the Think Pick. - It's scary, isn't it? - Went into the Sepulcher. You found a disguised Eddie, went to the Silvern where you talked with Count Von Braath, went to the Belfry where you talked with Dracula. Then, oh, you also went to the Capillary, then returned to the Capillary.

Kept playing hide and seek with Sfra 2. Felt a tremor. Then you had your combat with, or see your encounter in the capital area against Eddie. Count Von Brathen and Sfra 2. Big earthquake. Vampire Spire started falling. So yeah, the DM council has deemed that the reward will go to Elga. Woo!

for performance in the recap. I panicked. Some polite golf clapping. Elga, you gain honed, which allows you to gain proficiency in one skill that you aren't already proficient in. Wow. If you look at your character sheet, you see all of your skills in the middle there. The ones that you're proficient in have the black dot to the left of them. So honed will allow you to just click an empty dot and put a black dot in it. So

So metagame wise, well, it's all metagame. It allows you to add your proficiency bonus into your role. Oh, okay. So for example, your first one there is animal handling. It has a plus one by default. If you enable it, you would also add your proficiency bonus. So it would be a plus four.

Oh, okay. So I choose one. Yeah. What you going to go with? I think I'm going to go for investigation. Oh, that makes sense. I feel like I've been doing a lot of that. Although I do have advantage on that. That's what I was going to say. You already have advantage on that role. So maybe history? Okay.

I don't know. We don't use history often. Not to... I feel like I don't use a lot of these very often. Not to dunk on history. You can't go wrong with perception. Yeah. Well, she already has advantage. I'm sorry. Proficiency and perception. The counter argument to you don't use history very often would be like maybe you don't use it because you're not proficient in it. Maybe if you were proficient in it, it would be something that would come up more often. I'm trying to think of like what's going to...

useful for this next arc. Well, history, maybe. I was going to say history might be important. Chip was down, so maybe medicine. What do we think? Persuasion? Yeah. Persuasion's not bad. I'll do persuasion. That's a good universal check. Speaking of Chip being down, I guess we should pick up where we left off.

So yeah, like I said, Hugo's muttering and you can hear it in your brains. Chip, I guess you're dreaming of this. Yep. My, my, this certainly is a round of reunions we have here. It's so lovely to be surrounded by old friends, isn't it, Barney? Do you remember how rude you were to me when we first met? Here I was simply asking you for directions and you said nary a word.

But that's alright. Your family was much more amiable. Oh, and talk about attentive! For years they've been waiting on my every beck and call! And Medid, it's so good to see you again. Or, see through you again. Oh, I'm just teasing, my feathered friend. Besides, we both know what trouble that nosy beak of yours got you in last time we met. Talk about a grave mistake, hm?

Looks at Chip.

Hmm... I don't think we've officially met, but I'm a huge fan of your wife's work. Oh, sorry. Late wife, isn't it?

Once again, you feel your feet jostle as the entire tower begins to quake and rumble. What's going on? Bro, there's way too much lore that just dropped on us right there. Then with a crack, the floor splits in half like a seam on a tattered tunic. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. What about Chip's corpse? Does he make a dexterity saving throw? No, no, no. I have advantage on dexterity saving throws. Yep, you get it. Okay.

Great, so when you pass yours, can you grab my body before it falls into the crevice? I sure will. Is any allies near me within five feet? Chip? I rolled an 18 on that. Okay. 26. I don't roll, right? No, you don't. You're already on the ground, so it's fine. Your body just goes... Elga, you look down and see your silver locket is shattered into pieces as it falls to the ground. It must have fallen from your pack.

You see the picture inside has fallen out on the ground, but it's a different picture. You look closer and see you in a family portrait, but it's not your family. You're standing next to a strapping elven woman, two boys wrestling with each other, and you're looking up smiling at a balding man wearing glasses. While you're looking down, Elga, Eddie charges straight at you, ramming into you, and make me a dexterity saving throw. Me? Yeah. With advantage? Yes.

There you go. 22. You roll pretty well. You're expecting it, but it still kind of throws you off your feet a little bit with the ground shaking and everything. And you begin falling off of the ledge into the fissured floor. But at the last second, you're able to deftly grab the crumbling ledge. And as you dangle on the verge of falling, a pale hand reaches out over the edge. Here, take hold of my hand. I shall pull you to safety. You look past the hand and see a sneering Hugo wearing a black top hat and a red ascot. Ooh, nice.

What?!

The vamp spire is crumbling all around you. You all must escape the falling vamp spire by descending, avoiding pitfalls and any obstacles that you may encounter along the way. I guess while lugging Chip Haney along with you, question mark? That don't feel so good, gang.

Oh, and that's right. Elga is currently hanging off of a ledge as well after being shoved by Barney. Not by Barney, by Eddie. I was like, do I, by the way, see that locket on the ground? It's shattered. Well, it kind of like broke and a picture popped out. It is still there. Yeah, like on the ground close to the ledge where you are. Can I grab it and pocket it?

Yes, but you are still hanging. So you'd be like, you might want to try to find a way to clamber yourself up first and then grab it. Okay, I'll try to climb myself up. Yeah, go ahead and make me a strength check. You stronger now. I'm stronger. Stronger. 30, 20. Yeah, you're able to heave yourself up over the ledge and you see the locket there and I assume you want to go ahead and pocket that locket.

Yeah. Pocket the locket. Pocket that locket. That sounds like a cool dance move. Pocket that locket. Pocket and locket. Pocket that locket. Speaking of cool dance moves, let's everyone roll initiative just so we have a little bit of order in what we're going to be doing here. Just speaks volumes. That's things. Dancing's like fighting. 17. 20. 13. 11. Pocket that locket. A pocket. A locket. Locket. Locket.

The system is down. So Chip has a 17. Elga has a 13. Mateed has 11. And Barney has 20. The thing that we forgot to add in the recap was that Elga bequeathed the cool Fang Frost to Chip. Oh, yeah, that's right. It was a very cool moment. And then he had a good day.

He had a great day and didn't hurt himself at all. No. We talked about that in the second one episode. Yeah. Did you tell him that I bribed you behind the scenes? That was just between us. Check your Venmo.

Elga's mom, in quotes, what is her status right now? She's currently unconscious. So yeah, that's an excellent question, Chris. Besides the party, there is also Hugo, Eddie, and the Countess up here, as well as various Sviratu. And what is their status? They seem to be looking around. Hugo had the highest initiative role, so he begins making a break for it, running out, trying to escape the vamp spires.

Next up is Barney after Barney is Chip. - I'm gonna start with, I'm gonna cast, it's a new spell, Aura of Life.

It's one action, and life-preserving energy radiates from you in an aura with a 30-foot radius until the spell ends. The aura moves with you to turn on you. Each non-hostile creature in the area, including you, has resistance to necrotic damage, and its hit points maximum can't be reduced. In addition, a non-hostile living creature gains one hit point when it starts its turn in the aura with zero hit points.

Okay, so it makes everyone around you resistant to the Karate and gives them one hit point at the start of their turn, if they're at zero. Yeah, there's probably a better spell I could have cast, but that's what I got. It's going to at least get me on my feet. And anyone around who's non-hostile is back alive. I see. So yeah, in theory then, if the Countess starts her turn in that as well. Yeah, and Stinker. Oh, yeah. So Stinker acts on your turn, so then Stinker would be up right now. Oh!

That's okay. Anything else you want to do, Barney? So Hugo is attempting to leave, right? Yes. He is making a beeline for the door. I'm going to use my bonus...

Would he take an attack of opportunity from us by leaving us? Or are we out of combat combat? I'd say we're probably out of combat combat. And Hugo has, just to build the world and to build out the description a little better, Hugo has taken to the air and is flying out. Huh. What does he fly like? Is he like a... Like this. So he's a Batman? Yeah.

Like a vampire. So he turned into a bat? No, like a vampire. Vampires fly. Do they really? Yeah. I thought they had to turn into bats. No, they can do that. So spatially, are we trying to go down the tower? Unless you know a better way to get out of here. Batid is thrilled to warp through a wall to leave us. He just goes, hmm.

Because I could do my, I could go fly for one minute. I will say, just as an FYI, follow up to that spell you cast, people have to start their turn within 30 feet of you if they want to pop back up from zero. So Chip is still on the ground until his turn. Yeah. And will remain on the ground if you go further than 30 feet away from him.

Can I pick up Chip? Does that count as an action? Normally, yeah, but I'll give it to you as a bonus. A generous DM. Well, I guess I don't need to if he starts right after me. I was just thinking about if I was to fly away. I'll use my cell kinetic shove to pull back Hugo and try and pull him back five feet towards us so he doesn't escape. Just being real annoying to him, keeping him within range? Yeah. So he has to make a strength saving throw.

- What's the DC on it? - 17. - All right. - He is pretty strong. Oh, I rolled the die and it did that thing where it was on 17 and then it clicked over and fell. It went to a seven. Yeah, he fails the save. - All right, so I pull him back five feet. - He turns and bares his fangs and hisses at you. - Barney will, I guess, pick up

or try and move towards the others that are injured so he's around them so they can all heal. - Okay, and is that it? - Yeah. - Okay, Chip, it's your turn after Chip is Eddie, Countess, Elga. Chip, you wake up from your little snoozy time. You have one hit point now, and much to your surprise, the entire Vamp Spire is shaking and falling all around you.

Okay. That doesn't stop the fact that I hate Eddie and I want him to die. So is he around? Is he an eyesight? Yeah, he's fairly close to you still. He hasn't acted yet. Okay. And Barney's picking me up or am I still on the ground? You're still on the ground. You're still on the ground. How far away is Eddie? Probably 10 feet or so, I would guess. Okay. Ah!

- Ah, what the heck? I'm gonna use the arm blade of blurbling. Just gonna give him a little stab, a little cut. - Can you reach 10 feet away? - Am I still prone? - Yeah, you're laying on the ground. - Okay, I'm just gonna then, in order to get up, my movement, yeah. I'm just gonna shoot him with one of the crossbows then. - All right. - 23. - Believe it or not, that's a hit. - Believe it or not,

I'm killing this dude. Seven. Ouch. Damage. Yeah, your crossbow flies through, striking Eddie in the shoulder for seven points of damage. And then he dies? He looks at it and then makes a sad face to you. Aww. He probably has like 600 HP. We got him down pretty far. Y'all put some hurt on him in that last episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well then I rise, because this was all just from the ground. As soon as I got HP back, I looked up, looked for Eddie, shot him.

Rise from your grave. Call the ambulance, but not for me. I love that meme. And then because I have no movement, I mean, that's pretty much...

I cast a really mean glare at Eddie. Oh, I'm getting a correction here. Thank you, Micah. It only takes half your movement to get up. So if you want to retcon that, you could actually have struck him with your arm blade. No, I think it's actually kind of cooler that I like the thing. The first thing I do when I wake up is just pull my crossbone and singe him. I think it's funnier if you accidentally hit someone else. It like tings off of something and hits him back in the head. But

But I also recognize when, like, I'm not doing well, so I'm going to move towards Barney. Okay. The protection of Barney Farny. And that's my turn. All right. That is Chip. It's Eddie's turn. Eddie is also going to book it and start running for the exit, kind of ignoring you guys. Yeah, you run away. You go. You hide. You just...

Baby. What do we get a chance to jab? You already used your reaction, right? Not my reaction. I thought you'd made an attack of opportunity on Hugo, didn't you? Or am I remembering that wrong? That was my bonus action. Yeah. I'm sorry. I thought, I thought, oh, right, because he was flying. That's right. Okay. Yeah. My bad. I got a going on. Yeah. I don't think story-wise they're ever going to let us kill Eddie here.

Yeah, Eddie starts running by and you... How are you gonna attack him, Chris? Old faithful Warhammer/Walker. Walker Hammer. Yeah, you rear back with your Walker Hammer to take a swing at Eddie. And as you do so, a swarm of bats descends out from the room and begins fluttering around everywhere. So you can make the attack roll but make it a disadvantage. It seems like they're trying to escape from the VAMP Spire as well. This is the new bell.

Eat the bats. Ozzy. Meta game perspective, there's going to be weird obstacles every now and then as the Vamp Spire is collapsing and I rolled on the table and this is the one that's happening right now. It's just bad luck on the timing. Yep. That was 12. Yeah, that's a miss. Okay.

You got bad in your eye. -Gwano. -All right, yes. So then you got bad in your eye and Miss and Eddie continues making a break for the door. It's the Countess's turn. She wakes up. I guess she has one hit point now and she's a little woozy and gets to her feet and looks around and sees what's going on and she makes a beeline for Elga to make sure Elga is okay.

Elka, you're up. And then after you is Matee. Okay, so I'm like just off the edge of where this thing was collapsing. Right. And you've picked up your locket and the Countess is there with you. And I see Eddie running away. Eddie is running away. Hugo's flying away. They're both making a beeline to the door. Okay. Well, I will Rage.

Or would I still be raging from last time? You probably would. Yeah. This is just like a continuation. Right. Because we just fell. Okay. So I'm going to use my battle axe. Okay. How far is Eddie from me now? Just making a break for the door. He actually is the one who shoved you down and took off running from there. So I'd say he's probably about from where you are about 30 feet.

Okay, I'm going to run up to him to maybe five feet away from him so that my axe could still reach. Okay. Yeah, you're able to catch up. And I'm going to attack him with my battle axe. I am...

going to miss because that was a 12. -Yep, no good. -And I'm going to attack again. -All right. -That was like a batter going up to base and he was like practicing a swing. -You got to take the weights off of the bat to lax to get the true weight, the true feel for it. -I'm rolling so bad. I rolled a 16. -A 16 does hit. -It does? Okay, cool. -Yeah.

And that does eight points plus three with my new level up raging bonus. Ooh. So that would be an 11 points of damage.

And then I know this is kind of redundant, but I'm going to use a bonus action to do bat barrage on Eddie. You just use the bat set already there. Yeah, you redirect them. You like have those lights like with the flashlights that are illuminated. You like point like a plane. You're directing them.

So for this one, I could use a bonus action to speak a command word. The battle axe transforms into a swarm of bats that attacks the target for up to one minute. When the swarm is killed or if the target is killed, the swarm turns back into a battle axe and falls to the ground. Okay. So what is Elga's command word for summoning the bats? For my command word, I'm going to say...

So, yes, he gets now swarmed with more bats. All right, yeah. If they're attacking the target, do they go when I go, or is that, like, at the end of the initiative? They go when you go. You know that thing, it's called murmuration, you know, where birds and flying creatures all kind of do those cool... Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I bet that happens with, like, everybody.

every bat in the whole thing follows Elga's bats. So she gets quadruple advantage. I think that that happens. I also like to believe, you know how like, you're thinking of like also when drones come together to make like a light show. Have you ever seen that before? This is like, they're making a giant axe in the shape of an ultimate. It's like a Looney Tunes bit. Yeah, that's the most Looney Tunes thing ever. Yeah. They're circling Eddie and he's swatting at him and he looks at you and says, Elga, you're driving me

- This is not time for jokes, Eddie. You're going down, you're going to be killed by these bats. - He is going down indeed because the bats swarm him and he falls to the ground, unmoving. - What? - Then your swarm of bats reconvene into your bat-tolax and it clatters to the ground.

I don't want to get too excited because this is the third time we've downed Eddie and then he keeps coming back. Well, I'm also confused because it says if the target is killed, the swarm turns back into a battleaxe. So does that mean we killed him? Your battleaxe is on the ground there. All right. We killed him. Interesting.

- In between the tails. - Hey, other deaths have happened. - That's true. - Fair. - Okay, well that is, I guess I'll use the rest of my movement to go pick up the axe. - Yeah, and the countess, you know, is staying by your side and says, - Hurry, let's run for the exit. - Everyone rolled me a dexterity saving throw. - With pleasure.

24. Mine has advantage. It doesn't matter. A nine. 28. That's a 14 for Barney, but also plus two to... Is Elga near me now? Would she get plus two? Yes, yes. I don't know if it matters. Oh, no. That would make me an 11. 24 for Chip.

11 for Elga, 28 for Matide, 14 for Barney. So Barney and Elga, well, I guess all of you, the floor starts shaking again violently beneath your feet. Barney and Elga, you stumble, you're knocked off of your feet. You stumble down to your knees. The floor begins crumbling out from under you. And once again, everyone's in danger of falling in, but you manage to save yourselves. However, Eddie falls into the chasm that is now open in the fresh vision. I knew it.

It was too good to be true. Countess Elga Mateed. Cool. Could I grab a chip? Yeah, you could do a little chipmunk action.

Chipmunk, activate. I feel like the dude at one health point could use some assistance. I'm T-posing. I don't remember at all where I was on the map. I think I was fighting some Sferatu. Yes, kind of in the center of the capillary. So how far to estimated wise to pick up a chip?

Chip wasn't too far from you. He was a little to the north doing combat near the dais. He was probably 20 feet away. Okay. I'll fly up to Chip, and I'll just go up to him, and I'll go, Bonjour. Your Uber is here. Is that an Ubered? Ubered.

Yeah, Ubert is here. I pick him up, and if I double move, I can fly 65, so a total of 130. So 130 minus 20 is 110, so I can fly 110. That, I would assume, gets us out of the building? Yeah, you go 20 up, 20 back, 90 more. That takes you out of the capillary, which is that temple area you're in, back into the main level of the thing. Actually, with that much movement, you could get back to the stairwell leading back down to the clawstread.

And I know I'm a passenger. I know I don't have a say, but could we just kind of take a small detour over the chasm that Eddie fell down so I could spit? Sure. That's all I ask. That's all I ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank you. I was going to ask you what it sounded like. Yeah, that works for me. You are at the very top of the stairs leading down to the claw shred from the thing pick. Yeah, I'm going to get away from this giant tower that is collapsing on us. I feel like that's what will kill us. That is such a smart move. Yeah. Wee!

And then as a bonus action, I'm actually going to... I'm going to do something. I'm going to drop Chip off gently to the ground. I'm not like flying high and we're like in a stairwell, so it's not like I can go very high. And I'm going to cast Astral Leap, which basically means I go to Australia till the beginning of my next turn. Whoa, so it's like...

There is a check if I can do it successfully. Roll a d20. On a roll 11 or higher, I go. Okay, yeah, go for it, yeah. It's just casting times bonus action, and it lasts for a minute, and I can do this check every time I have a turn for a minute. So either Mateed is going to go to Australia to beat up Avena, or Avena is going to warp back into a crumbling tower and die. No, she stays. Banishment holds because I'm not doing a concentration spell. But the person banished eventually comes back unless they're banished to their home plane.

Right. She doesn't come back for a minute. Right. Not immediately, just at some point. And I just cast that last turn. Yeah. So she'll come back right before this spell ends. Yeah, I rolled a 19. So basically, visually, go and grab a chip, take them to the stairwell, drop them off, give them a little wink, and then disappear from existence. Bye-bye. Matee just goes...

There's like a popping sound. But the way that the astrolabe works is I can see what's happening in the real realm. It's all like shadows. You're in the upside down. I'm in the upside down. I'm where Frodo goes when he puts the ring on. That's a better reference.

I'm gonna make a note here. Avina gets to take a turn now. - But she's not back yet, right? - No, but she's in Australia where Matita is now. - Is she gonna come back with like a cocktail and like one of those like lei necklaces, even though they probably don't do that in Australia, but still. - Unless she can travel 120 feet in her action, she can't catch up to us, so I'm fine.

Yeah, she's going to just get a brick dropped on her. She'll probably just be confused most of her turn. All right, is that it for you, Mateed? Yes. Okay, back up to the top. It's Hugo who continues his flying escape from the crumbling vamp spire. Barney, it's your turn after Barney's chip.

Everyone's gotten up. And he's going to try and summon a Celestial. This is a fifth level spell. That's powerful.

Yeah, and it lasts for one hour. You call forth the Celestial Spirit. It manifests in an angelic form in an unoccupied space that you can see within range. The corporeal form uses Celestial Spirit stat block. When you cast a spell, choose Avenger or Defender. Your choice determines the creature's attack and its stat block. The creature disappears when it drops zero hit points.

creature is an ally to you and your companions, I'll choose the defender. And I think you mentioned it, you know, I just want to clarify, your concentration drops to cast this. So like your aura of life goes away. Yeah, yeah. And it's a large creature and it has flying. And so I'm going to say, everyone hop on!

Because it's a large creature, so I imagine it can, like, support. It's pretty big. Yeah, large creatures are big. I don't know if it can support everyone, but we can deal with that when we get there. Does it have a description? It's just a celestial spirit that manifests in an angelic form. So I think, Chris, why don't you describe? What does it look like? How do you picture that? I imagine it will take the shape of Falkor the Luck Dragon. Or if we want to keep it with an RIP, a large purple worm. A luck...

Hold on tight! Smurrsh!

Smooch. So yeah, and then that's my action and then I'll hop on it and try and get, I don't know, like... You're going to start making the rounds. Yeah, yeah. And then with my bonus action, I'll also cast a healing for poor Chip. Well, how far away is Chip right now from me? Chip is far. Chip is actually really far. Chip's not in the capillary anymore. He's down at the top of the staircase going down to the closet. Okay, maybe I can't do that then. I absconded.

Yeah, I'll get me and Stinker up on it. And then it can fly. So I can have it like go and pick up the others. Yeah, you can start going around. They have to get on on their turn though. Well, can it pick them up on its turn? The Celestial Spirit? I would say it can maybe pick one up because it's like an action. Okay, then I guess it would go and I guess pick up Elga if Elga's willing. Sure. All right. Yeah, you can fly over and pick Elga up.

I feel like there's still a lot to do here. Well, yeah, I'm just trying to get out of the thing. And then for Elga's mom, or mom, I keep doing the quotes. Can I use my telekinetic shove to pull her up onto the celestial spirit? You could shove her, but I don't think you could pull her onto the celestial being. Okay, well, then I won't do that. Yeah, I'm just trying to get everyone rounded up. Sometimes you can't do everything you want.

Yeah. All right. Well, then I'll just end my turn. Okay. Once again, as you're doing that, the ground starts shaking violently. Those of you who are still on the ground, this doesn't affect Mateed. This doesn't affect Barney. And it doesn't affect Elga. It only affects Chip. Sorry. Sorry.

Chip, roll me a dexterity saving throw. Oh, easy. That's a eight. Hold on. I have in my inventory my cool, cool shoes, which these shoes have three charges and regain 1d3 expended charges daily at dawn. When you fail a dexterity saving throw while wearing it, you can use your reaction to expend one of its charges to succeed on the saving throw instead. So I'm going to do that. Oh, I

I will say it's very lucky for you because with all of the shaking going on, you know, you're focused on trying to maintain your footing and then something in the back of your mind tingles and you look up just in time to dodge out of the way from large chunks of stone and rubble. That land crushing immediately where you were just a split second ago. You could have been dead! Again!

And just as a heads up, some of these, like that Dexterity saving throw and some of these Lair Actions, they're on a timer. So the longer the turns take, the more often these negative effects are going to happen. So try to optimize the turns so we can go through this with less saves and less possibility for death.

Okay, that was Barney. Chip, you're up. After Chip is the Countess and Elga. Do I have an eye on Elga's quote-unquote dad? He's gone. Okay. Yeah, he's flying and he's escaping. Then I'm already at the staircase. Then I can just start continuing to make my way down. Does that seem like the most plausible exit? That's the only one you're aware of. That's how you came up. Okay, then I'll double move to just make as much progress to get out of there as possible.

I want to get out of the VAMP Spire. Stat! Okay, yeah. You run down the stairs, emerging on the Clawstread. I'm adding noises. Here you go. And as you come around the corner, you know, coming out onto the Clawstread, the second level of the VAMP Spire, you see Benicia backed into a corner surrounded by two Svratu.

Oh, Benicia's still here. Okay, then I take back my double movement, unless that double movement was what got me to that point. You just need one to get down. Okay, then I'm going to surprise attack one of them to help. I'm assuming she's in danger. She's been cornered. Yes.

Wow, she didn't make it very far, did she? Wait, do a perception check. Maybe they're shoving money in her face. This has happened. You have advantage on attack rolls against any creature that hasn't taken a turn in combat yet, and any hit you score against the creature that is surprised is a critical hit. So that's the assassinate. So I'm going to, I guess, do that, and I'm going to hit him with my arm blade, the blurbling. Watch out! It's a 13 hit. Wait, I have advantage, right? I was about to say that, yeah. Okay. Watch out!

24 hit. That does hit. Okay, that's a 5 on piercing, plus the arm blade blurbling has 24 acid damage. Watch out!

You also get sneak dice on this, don't you? I was getting to that. Yes. Gus, you got to give him a chance. Sorry, I'm just stepping all over your turn telling you what to do. And because I'm level nine now, I think I get an additional dice. So once per turn, you can deal an extra 5d6 damage to one creature. It's a good thing you remembered, Blaine. Yeah, I know. He's...

I'm on top of today, guys. 15. Okay, so that's 15, 16, 21 points of damage. Yeah. You come up behind the Sferatu, and it never knows you're there as you drop it to the ground, and it falls unmoving. Its friend turns shocked in horror. And I go, I'm causing this earthquake! Escapement!

I will eat you! Make an intimidation check. Oh, God! You have a plus 12. You rolled a 1. Any other thing, I would have passed that with flying colors. I would say you probably have advantage on that because it is a little scared right now. Because I just dropped his friend. Okay, perfect. That's a 25. The ground is shaking. Yeah, it just turns around and books it and starts running away, leaving you and Benicia there.

And then, uh, I- What does she do? She's in the corner. She's equally as afraid of me because of our earlier encounter. I help her to her feet and I say, "Well, you didn't make it far there, did ya? We gotta get out- we gotta hightail it outta here! Let's go, Benicia!" Yeah, she agrees. Uh, she's ready to go. Something about when Chip says the word "go" in earnest, it's the best. Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go

I will never say no to a piggyback ride. Fine, let's go. That's just Gus answering you. Let's go. You could say no for this piggyback ride. Yeah, so now we got... Was that Gus or Benicia? That was Benicia, sure. She's down for a piggyback ride.

So you begin giving a piggyback ride to Benicia. It's the Countess's turn. You made it clear she could get on as well, right, Barney? Yeah. Yeah, she's going to run over and hop on behind Elika on the Celestial, which means it's Elika's turn. Okay, so I'm riding this thing with Barney and my mom? Yeah. Your mom. My mom. Okay.

Listen, adoptive moms are still moms. We don't put quotes over it. Oh, that's a fair point, John. You're right. I guess, but also didn't she abandon in a way? That's a fair point, Chris. I also don't know the full story to that. It's a fair point, Barbara. There's been a lot of lies and misconceptions happening here. Also, she seems to be the only one protecting me in this room full of my quote-unquote family.

- I just made an angel. - Is there anything I need to do? 'Cause like if I'm on this thing that's headed out, right? Is it heading somewhere? - Yeah, I mean, I gotta wait for its turn, which was its turn was during my turn and then it can fly. - 'Cause like who else is attacking us right now? - Right now, no one's attacking you. I think everyone's trying to make a break for the exits to try to get out of the Vamp Spire.

Make sure you attack somebody so your rage stays. If you get hit by something, you take half damage. That's a good point. Were there any counts that were there that you didn't like during childhood that you might want to get some revenge on? I did say there were various Sferatu also who were running around trying to escape. You got a projectile? If there's a Sferatu, could I throw my axe of the scarab at it? Sure. It's like a boomerang version? Yeah. Okay. Did you get that in Australia? Okay.

I think I was at 4. Yeah, that was like carcass-y. Yeah, it was. 15. That actually does hit Asfratu. Okay, cool. Doing... Swing oh swing. 10 plus 3, so 13 points of damage. Yeah, you toss your Axe of the Scarab and it goes and maims Asfratu as it's running out. It looks at you and just mouths, Why? And it keeps running. I'm sorry, but you guys were attacking us, so just, you

I'm just trying to run away. He just wanted to play hide and seek. That's just so bad. Oh, he's the hide and seek one. That'd be funny. I think I'm just going to stay on this creature that's taking us, hopefully, to safety. You got it. Mom, Dad, you should shop Amazon for back to school and save some money. See, I'm currently obsessed with superheroes and need all the superhero stuff. Superhero launch box, superhero back.

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Alright, it's Avena's turn.

Only Mateed would see this because only Mateed is the one in Australia. But you do see Avena there. She's just laying there unconscious though. Kick her. Kick her while she's down. Well, Mateed, it is your turn. I think my turn ends or begins with me returning back.

But I do get actually, just to add to the OP-ness of Mateed's movement, it actually, I appear 10 feet from where I left, so I get 10 more feet of distance. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. At the start of your next turn, and when the spell ends, you appear 10 feet. So, yeah, it's the start of my thing. So I get to see her. I just go, heh. And I return back to the regular plane. And...

And I guess I just do another book it. Let's start off with like, I've done 10 feet. Take me another 65 feet. And what do I see Gustavo throw? You go down the stairs and you see Chip running past you with Benicia on his back, running down the hallway in the clostrid. Oh my God. We got a boogie. Chip's being attacked by Benicia. I attack Benicia. No. Just kidding. Just kidding.

That's funny. Don't do it. Yeah, they're fine then. He's got his own little buddy now. We're following the buddy system. I got my buddy, little kitty in my hoodie. So yeah, if I go 65 feet, where does that take me? Yeah, you remember the clawstread was like that spiraling hallway that went up when you were going up. So that's the spiral. You're running down a spiraling hallway going down. You start running past the hall or running down the hallway and you run past the door that you found Benicia behind.

you know, all the different doors that you explored and didn't explore. What about the door that I went in and had a conversation with Vixie's partner? Oh, that was the very first door. So that would be at the very, like right before you'd leave the cost red. Yeah. So you, you're not quite that far.

What if I double move? If you double move, yeah, you could probably get there. Okay. Yeah, I mean, you would find there and you could get to the door of Count Vixie's house. Okay. What are you trying to do? Was there something in there that you wanted? No. Money? John looks so mischievous right now. Anyone on the ground, which I think is Chip and maybe Mateed, make me a dexterity saving throw. Uh-oh. I'm not on the ground. I'm floating. I'm flying. This is all flying because that's the way I get the speed. Oh, true.

I can't walk at this rate. I rolled a nine, so I'm going to use my last charge from my Sneakers of Lost Souls for the sidestep of second chances. Canonically, can that be, like, the pumps on, like, old sneakers that you use? Yeah, yeah. And you're out of pumps. I'm begging all of you to hurry your turns up because if I fail another one, I'm going to die. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

So once again, your spidey senses go off and you dodge out of some rubble and furniture that's falling from above, Chip. But Mateed, as you're going down the hallway, as you make one of the turns, you come across a mob of battlers and Svratu fighting over a chest that spilled hemo pieces all over the floor. Oh!

I'll walk those pieces. How do I interject myself into this profitable situation? It's a brawl. You're going to have to get in there and start throwing elbows and... Oh, man, if only I was a monk that was meant to brawl in close combat situations. Darn. Okay, does that happen before or after I do my double movement? I would say before the double movement. Okay, thank you. That's why I kept trying to egg to see if my full movement would come to a Benicia moment like what Chip had.

For the record, it's just because the timer went off right now that that happens right now. Then I get in there and I mean, I don't have the visual idea of what's going on, but I would imagine that Mateed would do whatever they can to like make their way into the middle of it all and just shove as many of those pieces as possible into their little pouch.

Let's do this. Make a strength check to see if you're able to shove people out of the way. Strength check. Ooh, that's not good. That's only a nine. Yeah, you tried, but they're like, everyone's really, you know, low to the ground and they're, you know, crawling around, clamoring over all of these hemo pieces. You're not able to pull any of them off. Okay, that's fair.

Then what if this is what happens? What if I roll my d20 now and see if I get into the Australian plane, which would then give me 10 feet of unhindered movement to appear next to the hemopiece as my next turn?

Sure, but as a reminder, distance in Australia and the material plane doesn't map one-to-one. But the way that my spell works is I appear 10 feet. I don't move there. I can appear 10 feet from it. Yeah, we could do that. Chip turns to Benici and says, we're going to die. Don't worry, I will be able to pay for your medical bills.

I rolled an 11, so I go to the Australian play. Yeah, we're going to resolve that on your next turn. Okay, that is Matide. Barney, it's your turn after Barney's chip.

All right, so this celestial spirit can fly 40 feet. So I guess go towards... I don't know if it makes sense to like leave the build, like fly out of the building or like follow down it. How would you fly out of the building? I don't know. You said it was like falling apart. So I don't know if there's like openings. No, there's currently no space, especially because this is a large being. It's really big. So then it'll fly everyone...

as far as it can out, which would be, I guess if it double moves, 80. - 80. So yeah, so you make your way, you are down now at the beginning of the claustra, the second floor where Chip first encountered Benicia. And then yeah, you can hear a ruckus down the hallway of like people shouting and yelling. - And did we see Chip at this point? - Yeah, actually you would see Chip. He hasn't really started running yet. He's got Benicia on his back.

Eels! How far away is he? You're pretty close, like within 10 feet of each other. All right. I have one channel divinity because of that one item I have left. I can use it as a charger. I can use a channel divinity and I'll cast Twilight Sanctuary, which it grants 1d6 plus 9 temporary hit points on everyone's turn.

So I'll roll for mine first. Do you roll it or do you want me to roll mine? You roll it on your turn. Yeah, so for me, that's 13. And I'll do that for... Do you want me to just do that for Stinkert as well? Yes, because that's the same turn. Then with my bonus action... So just FYI, just so you know, the hit points come in at the very end of your turn. So if you do something that affects that, you don't actually have those hit points yet.

until the end of your time. Yeah, yeah. Then I'm also going to, with my bonus action, I'm now close enough. I'm close to Chip, right? Yeah, yes. 10 feet. All right. Then I'm going to do Healing Word as my bonus action on Chip because I do have a first level spell slot. 60 feet.

bonus action creature that you can see within range regains hit points equals to 1d4 plus my spellcasting modifier. 1d4 plus 5. That's 8 to chip. That's permanent HP? That's real HP. That good stuff, yeah.

And then that's, I guess that's going to be my turn. All right. That's it for Barney. Chip, you're up. Okay. After Chip is the Countess of the Nelka. I'm going to just, my priority is getting Benicia to safety. So I'm just going to keep moving. Keep running. Keep hustling. Yeah. You're running down the hallway, down out the clawstread. And you...

Chip had asthma. You put your headband on, the red, white, and blue striped one. That's the one. And begin running down the hallway. And you see a bunch of battlers and Sfratu fighting over hemo pieces on the ground blocking your way. It's like your old days at Yampard. You're going to have to hurdle them, Chip. I can do it. Yeah, I'm going to hurl them. I'm not even going to stop. That is a...

Hold on. Do I have a, I might have some sort of advantage. Right?

- No, that's for the dexterity saving throws and I'm all out of those. - Bad rolls. - Eight. - This is different than hurtling at Yampard. So you got weight on your back. These people are, you know, there's more of them than just a hurdle. So you're not able to quite clear them far enough. You jump them, but your foot just kind of clips them and you stumble a little bit when you reach the other side. You clear them, but you're a little off your feet at that point. - I turn back and I say, "Brothers and sisters, we must not give in to greed."

Save yourselves. Save your lives. Go. Also, is anyone among you Quiffly? Quiffly. Try his call. Do the sound. Do the sound. Quiffly, we got to go, dude. You hear it coming from Elga's house, which is right by there.

Okay. Save Quiffly. I'm going to kick down the door. I'm going to kick down the door. My firefighter instincts are kicking in. You kick down the door and you see Quiffly trapped between two precarious columns on Ignis Stone holding onto the ceiling. I got to save Quiffly. Quiffly. He looks at you and with a panic goes...

You guys can talk at that point. No, no, we can't. We're speaking in Atreides' battle to speak. I put down Benicia, and then I lift the Ignis stone off of Quiffly like a mother lifting a bus off of her trapped child. Yeah, make a strength check. Okay. I hope this goes well. Hey!

Yeah, it's just like the old days, being a volunteer firefighter. You're able to... You find some debris and use it as like a, you know, set up a fulcrum, and you're able to lift the columns off quickly. Who gives you a big hug. Aww. And then I grab... I hold on to him, and then I grab Benicia, and I run out. What under his charm? Yeah.

My babies! Don't forget, you can also, if you want, use cutting action to take dash if you want to get even more movement. Yeah, I'm going to do that. So then does that triple my movement if I double moved? Or I guess that was my action. That was your action, right. Then I will dash to get further ground. Exactly. You run out and you are now at the top of the stairs leading down to the tail of the dock. Yeah.

I don't know what Quiffly looks like, but I'm imagining he looks very much like, like I'm imagining like Porky the pig with like a really like rotund belly, but like really short too. And you're carrying him and he's just like wobbling like a little bowl of jello.

I do want to say you went so far, blame that you wouldn't get the temp HP. Oh my God. But you got the real HP. But you got the, yeah. It's not about me. It's about the survivors. I got to save them. Is that it for Chip?

Yes. All right. It's the Countess's turn. And I guess she's just along for the ride here on the Celestial. Elga. Can I? Oh. I don't want to interrupt. That's it for her turn. Yeah. So go for it. I'm looking for Marnie and my, they're battlers. Like I'm asking the Countess. The last time I saw them, they were in the Tales of Dock. It sounds like we need to go to the Tales of Dock. We must save your family or my family.

Everyone except for Mateed make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, lots going down on this one. Let's go, Blaine. Let's go. 23! 23! And 20. Curses. So then as you all are running, the walls begin crumbling and jets of flame start shooting out from the walls.

But you all, I guess, maybe can hear the walls crumbling and you're able to dodge out of the way at the last second before the flames would have burned you to a crisp. Well, I guess Chip's fire resistant, so maybe he would have just taken half. I just look and there's ashes in my hands from where it's been. Quickly. That's dark. All right, that was the Countess Elga. So we're still...

We're still on this thing. I mean, you could jump off if you need something you want to do. I was just trying to... Well, we're trying to get down, right? Yeah. And so we're still... It can move 80 feet on its turn if it double moves. I guess I could too, technically. Because my walking speed is 40. I don't want to... Don't feel like you need to stay on it if you like... Okay. Could I hop off and grab my mother? The countess? Yeah.

Yeah, she's on there with you. Yeah. Could I carry her off of it and like start running down? Yeah, absolutely. She says, she comments. Elga, you've grown so much. You've gotten so strong. Mother, I've always been this strong. You just, I've never tried to pick you up before. So you have not been witness to my strength. It's quite impressive. Oh, thank you. Yes, thank you. I love to impress.

And then she starts running downstairs. You carry her or do you also join in? Like, do you give a piggyback ride? I'll just carry her, like, over my shoulder. You got it. And I will double move, so it would be 80 feet. Okay, yeah, you would get enough movement then to where you essentially catch up with Chip as well, where you all are about to begin your descent down to the Tales of Dock. And I'm holding my mom over my shoulder. Let's do it, boo!

Firefighters! Twins! She does a pose, twins, and like shifts her mom around where she's like flying. You do that thing where you stand on one leg, the other one's kind of like kicked up, your head's kind of cocked to the side. Yeah.

And then I will end my turn there. All right. Mateed, you are up. I appear where the hemo pieces are. Yeah, you appear where the hemo pieces are with everyone else. Make a dexterity check to see if you're able to quickly scramble and grab a bunch of hemo pieces. Okay. Don't know if they'll have much value out of here. There's probably an exchange thing on the way out of Vania. Yeah.

22. Yeah, you're able to begin quickly scrambling, grabbing hemo pieces, and you're able to scurry and grab nine hemo pieces and shove them into your pockets. Okay, as my second attack for my action, I grab four more hemo pieces. Make another dexterity check. Okay, where'd my dice go? There it is. I can't tell, but I'm shaking my head.

Yeah, that one's a 21. All right. Yeah, you reach around even more and grab another 15 hemo pieces for a total of 24. Wow, you're rich. I'm doing pretty well. I'm doing pretty well. I mean, 15 plus nine plus the three I got from my best friend up there. Like, I'm doing good. The Sferatu and battlers all begin, like, hissing at you. Shh.

And that is a lesson to you to be fighting over money when there is a disaster. Now everyone head to the closest fire exit. You're lecturing them on the morality of looting? Yes, I am teaching them what they should be focusing on right now or they will turn into me, a ghost. There's a little bit of also like fluctuation in the accent that you're doing that sounds like a little bit like almost not like German.

I'll let you know, Barbara, I have been strictly doing a French accent this entire campaign, and I've never wavered for a day. Never wavered. Just going to roll for deception on that. They look at you as you tell them to head for the fire exit, and they look at the wall where the jets of fire are shooting out of, and they point at that, and they say, fire exit? What's the intelligence modifier on these idiots?

Not very good. Negative four. Get out of the building! And I actually have Visage of the Astral Self going still right now, and so I'm glowing and very intimidating. Make an intimidation check. With advantage, because I have my thingy. Intimidation plus three, that's only 14. No, I get advantage. That's actually 24. Okay, yeah. They all begin scrambling and running. And then I grab more hemo pieces. Oh my god! Oh my god!

I don't know if you have more action for that. It's not as bonus action or anything. No, no, no. I cast Flurry of Blows. You've been punching the keyboard pieces. I'll leave. I'll leave. I've killed this joke. Okay. I can move one move action, so that'd be 65 feet. Yeah. And then... You can move 65 feet? I can fly 65 feet. Wow. My movement is 40. Oh!

I'll give you a downside. Not that this really is a downside, but when I turned level nine, the only bonus to that level up other than HP and like some, I think like a key point was I now have even better movement where it's just like uneven terrain doesn't affect my running speed as much anymore. I'm like, well, I don't need that. So I got a doesn't help me anything at all ability for level nine. Oh.

Yeah. Just kidding. I know. I say that as I travel 65 feet and then disappear out of existence to the Australian plane. I think that new ability also allows you to move across liquids on your turn. Yes, that's the thing. Huh? It is kind of powerful. It is, except that I have a passive ability where I float. That's like as a ghost, that's what I do. Oh.

It would look cooler if you could run across water. Yeah. Like one of those little lizards. Yeah. Yeah. With the high legs. Yeah. All right. Yeah. So you make your move and you catch up to everyone at the top of the stairs leading down to the tail of the dock.

Unarmored movement improvement. You can move along vertical surfaces and across liquids on your turn without falling during the move. There you go. Ghost stuff. I can walk up the walls. Yeah. All right. Spider Matisse, Matisse, Spider Matisse does whatever. Sorry, I'll stop. Is that it for Spider Matisse's turn? Does Blaine need to roll a dexterity check since I took so long? Yeah, probably. Most likely. And me, probably. Not yet. Okay. Done. All right. That goes back up to the top. Barney. Uh.

I think it's only you and Stinker on the Celestial at this point. Yeah. Yeah. It'll double move down that way towards the Tales of the Dock. Yeah, so you would get to the top of the stairs leading down to the Tales of the Dock. And who's around? What's in the area? You're there with... I think the whole party is now caught up and is at that spot. Okay. Okay.

Including Chip? Yeah, the whole party. Okay, well then... Oh, yeah. It'll double move. Barney then jumps off and then double moves further. Ooh. Okay, yeah. So you are able to then get down to the Tales of Dock. And yeah, everything's in disarray. There's battlers running everywhere. I'm looking for Barney! Barney! Make a perception check. And remember, when you come down, you gotta go down a little bit of hallway. You go up some stairs. It's...

It's kind of winding. So... We know what they look like, too, because he pointed them out to us at some point. Correct. I think, yeah, you all did. Yeah, it was a 21. You don't see Marnie, Samson, or Titus here. Hmm. Can I grab someone or, like, ask someone who's running by? Yeah, you grab a battler by the shoulders. What do you do? Where's Marnie? Tell me where Marnie is. She's a battler. Marnie, Samson, and Titus, they're in the bestiary. We got to run. With Hoofer, I assume. No.

No, Hooper's at a farm upstate, I swear! It's accurate. In the bestiary, okay. I don't know how far I am from that, but I assume that's my turn. Just look at your map. You're not going to be able to make it there. Remember, you're going to have to go down, pass through the barracks kind of thing, pass through the commissary, and then eventually on the other side of that is where you'll run into the bestiary.

So you'll probably get there. If you double move on your next turn, you should get there. All right. I like how they all know where people are. Trying to be helpful. Yeah. I'll tell you what, since we're trying to, like, we don't have to keep the space one for one since we're all running an escape. I'll say you'll be able to get there on your next turn. All right. And then the celestial spirit looks at Chip and goes...

and like touches him and then it does healing touch to chip and it heals 2d8 to chip where does it touch like on his forehead pulled my nose pulled my nose laughing

It boops him right in the belly button. And he goes, woohoo! So that's 2d8 plus the spell casting modifier. That's 12. Oh, sorry, the spell's level. Gotcha. Yeah, sorry, I read that wrong. And I cast it at 5th level, so I guess that's plus 5. 2d8 plus 5, yep. So 17? Yep. Thank you, Celestial One. What perfect timing! Everyone roll a dexterity saving throw. Don't forget that.

12. 10. 21. I have an inspiration die, though. You gonna use it? I'm not sure, I guess. Am I allowed to know? You tell me. Wait, can you know before you use an inspiration die? I think normally we rule you can't know for inspiration. You can for lucky, but you can't know for inspiration die.

Correct. And then whichever I get to choose, whichever, or I have to use the inspo? We'll say you can choose. Using it. Oh, thank God. That's a 19. Okay. Okay. So Mateed's obviously in Australia. And we'll go in Chip. Were you in Australia? Yes. Oh, you're back now. No, it'll last for three more turns after this. Yeah, it keeps like phasing back and forth. Yeah. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha.

Elga and Chip, you hear a noise behind you and you turn around just in time to see a swarm of rats running down the hallway trying to run out from the VAMS fire. And it's like a, it's almost like flowing water. They begin running down the stairs. Barney is meanwhile focused on talking to the battler trying to find Marnie so he doesn't hear them coming. So from behind you, Barney, just like

A wave of rats hits you in the back and begins knocking you down to the ground. I think Chris is laughing. Yeah, they tickle.

Because last time I surfed blood, but this time I'm wipe out. Make a strength check to see if you're able to stay on your feet or if they knock you to the ground, Barney. I'm just going to Google real quick how long it takes a swarm of rats to consume an entire human body. Oh my God.

Do that in a private tab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a dirty 20 on my strength check. But I'm also, if I could use the rat wave to go further. So you manage to keep your feet. How would you, just out of curiosity, how would you ride a swarm of rats? What do you have? Well, here's what I would do. I would take...

- I was hoping you would say that. That's exactly what I was thinking. - I take my shield and then slip it down below me and then... - So it's like in Lord of the Rings when Legolas surfs on his shield going down the stairs, except you're doing it on a swarm of rats. - Yeah. - Hopefully not crushing them beneath you. Make a dexterity check. Let's just see what happens. - 19. - Wow. - I always know it's good if I hear Chris go,

Yeah, you're able to get the shield down and it begins moving. I just need... I'm not trying to block you here. I just need to make a roll to see if you crush all the rats or if they're actually able to sustain your weight. You are heavy with a lot of gear. That would be the saddest thing ever.

I know. Yeah, you throw the shield down and it begins moving only for about three or four inches and then it just crushes to the ground with a sickening squishing sound. Well, you know, they'll come back with... No, never mind. I lost my concentration. I was going to say they'd come back with one HP, but I lost that and I did the... Yeah. It was a good try. It was a valiant effort. I tried, but the dice didn't work out in your favor that time. Thank you. Yeah. Who went last? I got distracted by that. Was it...

I think it was... That is me. Yeah, Barney did go last. Yeah, yeah. So, Chip, it's your turn. Okay. It sounds like we're all going to the... Was it Tales of Dock? No, no, the downstairs area. Yeah, the Tales of Dock's the first level. Okay. And Barney is headed, I think, headed up to the...

Bestiary? Yeah, correct. You have people you're carrying, so I don't know if it necessarily makes sense for you to get more... Chris almost said hostages there. I heard that too. Gus had a look on his face. If there is an exit, yeah, I agree. I'm going to try to take my hostages out of the... Ha ha ha ha ha!

Yeah, you emerge on the Tails dock and it's just madness. It's just, you know, people running everywhere. But you remember, you were able to retrace your steps and you start running, making a beeline for the exit. Okay, so I'll double move and with my bonus action dash. So like a triple move. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you begin running through trying to make your way to the exit. I'll say you're most of the way there. Make me a perception check chip. Okay. Oh, also when I upgraded, I brought my perception up. So now I'm at a zero instead of a minus one. Ooh, fancy. That is a... God, I'm still terrible at perception. Six. Okay, that's fine. Anything else you want to do? Take another look around? Did I miss anything? No.

No, I guess I'll... No, I'll just... I need to end my move. Yeah, that's good. Gotta get my hostages out. Okay, good. I just set my timer. The Countess. I guess she's got your back since you're holding her with her feet in front of you and her face facing your back. She's keeping an eye out for any trouble behind you, Elga. Thank you, Mother. Thank you. And it's your turn, Elga.

Okay, so now what's go- are the rats still around or we- what's going on here? They've run past you. They're downstairs now in the tail sadoc. Okay. You're still at the top of the stairs. Okay, I'm gonna do a double movement to get as far down as possible. You run down and you see Barney standing on his shield with blood oozing out from under it.

Gross. You gross man. Come on, get on. Ride the rats. You're not sure what that's about. Hop on. When Elga sees that, she gets a little rumble in her stomach. Oh, fresh blood. Yeah, you get a rumble, but you keep running and you make your move. You exit beyond the barracks and the commissary and you keep going. So you make your double move. Elga, make me a perception check. And you've caught up to Chip at this point.

It's only a 10. Yeah, you and Chip are caught up. You think on your next turn, you both can probably get out of here. Okay. And could I look around to see if I recognize anyone else who like is friendly or like we should be helping get out of here? That was a perception check. Oh, okay. I was going to say, because I failed on my turn, if you can check on Quiffly and Benicia to make sure they're still alive. I'm sure they're fine.

You got him, right? Yeah. Did you lose your hostages? Gus, did I? Oh. Oh, no. As far as you know, yeah, you still got him. Question mark. Is that it for you, Elka? Yes. Okay. Mateed, I assume you re-pop into the material plane? Yes, I do.

I did 65 feet from my, uh, hemo pieces. Yeah. Yeah. I think we said you were at the top of the stairs. You had caught up. Everyone was at the same spot. Well, I did 65 feet after the hemo pieces thing. So did that. Okay. Okay. Then if, uh, let's do the thing where I go one movement. Where does that leave me? Yeah. That would take you down a little past Barney, uh, into the next room. Just beyond that. You're like almost caught up with Chip and Elka.

Okay. This is a race, right? We're all racing. That's how I see it. It's a race. I am winning. So then if I'm there, do I need to take a look around or can I just go another double movement? Oh, it depends. If you were going to move, I was going to ask you to make a perception check. I'll move. Yeah. Make a perception check. I will do a perception check.

which I am proficient at. Excellent. 16? Yeah, you're almost caught up to Chip and Elga here in the bestiary, and you notice that you can see out of the corner of your eye in one of the cages, you see Marnie, Samson, and Titus. Oh! And they're cowering in a cage as ravenous animals are trying to get at them and force their way inside to the cage. Oh, okay. How many animals? Three. Three. Three.

A number he was prepared to say. Truly a number written in the module.

It's fine. It's fine. This is a lot. There's a lot going on. It's improv. Sometimes you just gotta, you kind of make stuff up and you see what happens. Yeah. That's the rule of improv. Yes. And three. Chris tried to surf rats. Yeah. Could I, uh, so did I get to the bestiary with my first movement? Yes.

Then, okay. So then I can attack these animals. Yes. I would assume. Okay, cool. Yeah, I'm going to just hit him with a good old spear, spear pokey. Do it. A spear of the Spear Baker. Go. Spear your Baker. That's a 29. That hits.

Okay. I just think of the Iron Golems now. Whenever you use your spear, I think of the Iron Golems from Stinky Dragon Adventures. So much liquid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fluid. Disgusting. Two plus seven, nine. Piercing damage? Yeah, you pierce an unaware wolf and it falls to the ground. And there's two more? Two more.

Okay, then I'll do a flurry of blows and do an unarmed talon strike. That one's a dirty 20. That hits. That one does... Where's my unarmed? Plus five. So that does 10. 10, yeah. You hit a tiger and it also falls to the ground and moving.

just watching your face cycle through animals really quickly that was like what could it be a tiger yes that's right that makes me very sad they're my favorite animal why would that be all the way out here i mean they had a bear they had a goat they're getting they got all kinds of stuff yeah that one's a 16 for another strike on the on what animal gus um this one is a rhinoceros oh what is going on here

Does a 16 pierce a rhinoceros? Yes. Okay. And that one does... Oh, that does max damage. What is it? Plus 5? 11. 11. Yeah, the rhino falls down as well. Unmoving. First looting, now poaching. Golly.

I'm saving these people who are apparently important to the old man. A battler runs up to the tiger and says, Tony, what did they do to you? Oh my God. Oh no. I turn to the battler and I go, I'm going to send him to the Australian plane where he will be taken care of by a cat man. But will he still be part of a balanced breakfast? Yes. It'll be great.

Okay. It's funny because they would drink the blood, I assume, of these animals. Oh, yeah, they did. Yeah. You know, some people, they do make friends with the livestock. You shouldn't do that. Don't make friends with the livestock if you're going to do that. Don't name them. Don't name them. He did. Yeah, I fling the door open.

And I go, "Bonjour, come with me if you would like to get out of this fire." They look at you, they remember you, they met you not that long ago. And they're still very skittish, but obviously, you know, there's a lot of danger. So they start emerging from the cages.

Okay. I shoot them along, and we don't go anywhere because I'm done with my turn. Okay. That comes up to Barney. Barney, I assume you move, Barney. I won't, and also, I don't go to the Australian plane. Okay. I think first, Barney's like, come on, Bratz! And then looks down and notices that he's not moving.

I think the Celestial will double move, pick up Barney, take him as much as he can, and then Barney will then continue running, and I don't know if that takes him into the... Yeah, I think after one move by the Celestial being, you would be in the bestiary, and you come in just in time to see Mateed opening a cage, letting Barney, Samson, and Titus out, and the three of them, you know, stepping over the carcass of a tiger.

Oh my god. Tony! No. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. No! Do I have to if I'm floating? Yes, you should as well. 22. Okay, I'll do it. Just because. 24. I can't say no to you, Mr. Sorolla. I just can't. 16. 26. I get plus two to whoever two people needed. Probably, I think I'm the lowest.

- Yeah. - And maybe Countess Von Broth if she needs it. - Well, it's a good thing you got that, Elga, because where you were standing just a second ago, a huge piece of stone falls and crushes the ground, narrowly missing you. If you hadn't had a plus two, you'd be taking some ouchy damage on your head right now. - Thank you, Von! - I'm right here. - She's right behind you. - I'm right behind you. - She didn't see him. - She's like, "I'm the smell."

Yeah, the Countess pokes you on the back, Elga, and then whispers, He's right behind you. I guess because she has my back view. So, Barney, you see Marnie, Samson, and Titus here. Marnie, get the boys. Get on this angel. Do they, like... I know they don't know who... Yeah, they're scared, but, you know, they do see...

this as a an exit right a speedy way so they're gonna she's gonna you know help the boys up and then uh clamber up on top of the celestial with you and then real quick do i see hoover anywhere no hoover's in australia just check it i was checking i think barney would just do a double look around just in case no his fourth family member yeah his family who he's been missing for thousands of years and this animal that he knew for about 10 minutes the

- Equal love. - And then the celestial being, I guess, would double move. - Well, it did one move to get here so then it would continue its move, the second part of its double move. - Yeah.

I like how this celestial being who is like in theory like a deity of some sort. It's just a glorified uber It's an uber pool it's picking up people and dropping them off along the way and I want to uh while Passing I want to touch elga you're still you're on your own. I'm with I'm holding uh my mother I touch elga

and cast Freedom of Movement, which is... You touch a willing creature for the duration, and the target's movement is unaffected by difficult terrain and spells and other magical effects can either reduce the target's speed nor cause the target to be paralyzed or restrained. The target can also spend 5 feet of movement to automatically escape from non-magical restraints. Being underwater imposes no penalties, so it's just like... Yeah, you can just move quickly, and if you're restrained, you just spend 5 feet of movement to get out of it. Yeah. Okay. And no difficult terrain, so...

Thank you. I'm imagining his touch is just a pat on the head. But if Celestial's flying by, maybe it's more of a thwack.

I guess that's it. Okay, Barney. So you're at that point. You're pretty much at the exit. You're almost, you're just about there, Barney. Chip, you're up. Double move to the exit. Get to the exit. Got to save my people. You're pretty much there as well, along with the people you're carrying, Quiffly and Benicia. I run through the exit. And as I run by the guard, guard Goyle, I say, Stalker! And then I keep running through the drawbridge.

- You laugh to yourself and then look over and see that the gargoyles are split into three pieces broken on the ground. - Oh! - Baby! Broker! - Literally, rest in pieces. - Yeah, Elga. - I guess I wanna keep running out. - Okay, yeah, you're also caught up with everyone right there at the exit. - Okay.

along with the Countess. And Mateed? Yeah, I definitely proceed with the party. All right. Yeah, you all, you know, catch up to each other. You all get to the exit more or less at the same time. And as you're getting to the exit, you feel one super violent tremor under your feet. Stuff starts falling all around you. Everyone take, make a dexterity saving throw. He said, everyone take. Everyone take.

Well, you don't get the damage automatically. You might make it. I know. I'm just saying Gus is putting his wishes out there before the ask. You got to manifest it. 21. Gus, put your roll blade. I rolled a one because I thought I was gone. I thought I was gone.

Arnar. Well, you are, just in a different way. Arnar. I give a plus two. I had a plus six, that's seven, but I... I don't think it'll do anything more. I thought I got out. Mateed, what about you? 19. Oh, so it really is only a chip, huh? All right, big pieces of stone start falling. Ah!

Chiptaws are probably going to die. 35 points of damage. The earth thunderously trembles as you struggle and scramble to safety. But despite your best efforts, the entire tower comes crumbling down onto all of you with a crunch. Oh, wait. You look up to see a hulking crystalline golem holding up the collapsing wreckage. The mobs!

Go, Tunigamp. Mood save you. It's a good boy. The golem shudders and the weight of the tower causes his crystalline body to begin to crack and fracture like glass. No, Mood! Oh, no. Be free. And with one final push, the moon shuts you all outside and...

Vamspire plummets into the earth and a billow blanket of dust and debris fills the air. And Mould is gone. Everyone make a perception check. Mould. Worst perception check ever. 16. 1 for 6. Dirty 20. 18. I need to find a Mould. Elga, you managed to crawl out from beneath some debris but struggled for a minute or two to find any familiar faces amidst the devastation and the detritus. Mother Mould.

What's a whistle?

I don't know. A train? You're not quite sure what it is. Can Chip grab... I don't know the anatomy of, like, mold and, like, crystalline gim creatures, but I want to grab some pieces of mold to see if there's any way to, like, rehabilitate his spirit, you know? Even if he wants to take mold...

He wants to Groot this guy. Yeah, I want a tiny mold. You collect a few crystalline gemstones and look at them. You're not sure if you know how to do it right now, but maybe with some research you can figure it out. Yeah. The Countess, who's right by you, Elga, begins coughing a bit. Don't worry, Elga.

I'll be fine, but we can't stay here. If there's any chance that Count Von Breath or Eddie survived all this, then we have to find them and stop them. And then she reaches deep into her cloak and pulls out a lustrous piece of silver. There is more at stake than some broken Vanian vows. She flashes the piece of silver at you and you see it's a pin with a familiar sigil of a scabbard with an S wrapped around it. What, Keith?

She looks at Chip. Please, I beg of you. No one can know who I work for, or my mission will be for nothing. Carol's mission will have been for nothing. We must get to Faunalog as fast as possible. You hear footsteps quickly approaching from behind, and she furtively stows her pin. There you are. You turn around and see the alchemist, Francesca, and Hexel, and the mummy.

Oh my god.

It's okay. You got this. It's an eight. Can we help him in that somehow? Just for chip. If you want to physically mouth it to me, I want to see if I can. What the hell did you just say? Nope. I'm going to mute myself and I'm going to say it. Okay.

This game is cool. No, no, no, no, Blake. Blake's episode? Would he hear maybe at least one of those words with an eight? She's not saying it. She's just mouthing it. Oh, God. It's got to be something about the medicine man. Alchemist? Yeah, pharmacist. And then, okay, so Chip responds subtly, and he goes, what? What?

She kind of throws her brow and puts her head in her hand. Benicia steps out from, or like she frees herself from your grasp, Chip, and says, Oh, thank you for freeing me. And, you know, she's got dust all over her and she begins shaking it off. And, you know, once again, you see Benicia, the young human girl with olive complexion, brunette hair, hazel eyes, and full eyebrows. All of you make a wisdom check. See, you guys told me not to do wisdom. Yeah.

Don't worry, I got it covered, Barb. That's an eight. Nat, 20, 25. Nine. 21. Barney and Mateed, you look at each other and then look at Benicia and then look at each other again. And then, you know, you look at Robert and you find yourself looking back and forth between Benicia's eyes and Robert's eyes. Not only are they both hazel, but they both have the same golden ring of pigment around the irises.

What a coincidence. That's so cool. Benicia's Wolfman's daughter, but also Wolfman was in a relationship with Francesca, who is the alchemist's wife. Yeah, so is this like a literal love triangle? There's some polyamory going on here. Barney, make a perception check separate from the other one.

23. You see Stinker, you know, get real antsy and then bark and start running up to Marnie and the boys and licking them with his bony tongue. You see Marnie shaking her head and blinking her eyes and you notice a bruise on the side of her head. But something else strikes you. Her belt is unlocked and lying on the ground. Marnie looks down at her waist. My head is spinning. Where am I? You're in Vania.

Barney, I know you don't remember me and I probably seem crazy, but my name is Barney and I'm your husband. Or at least I used to be. Barney? Is that really you? You remember me? Of course, Barney. Everything is fuzzy, but it's coming back. Barney, you look... How long has it been? Too long.

Marnie boys I'm so sorry. I I should never have let them take you I I was just I froze Because I was scared and then you were gone And I promised myself that I'd get you back. I I studied holy magic I became a cleric and I trained every day to rescue you every day, but then

It was weeks and then months and then years. Every year, I got ready to go after you. But I always convinced myself that I wasn't ready, that I needed more training. The years, they just... I don't know. Honeybee, I... You don't have to say anything, Marnie. I know I'm a coward and that I don't deserve you.

Or the boys. Or anyone. I understand if you want nothing to do with me. Marnie springs forward and wraps her arms around you with an embrace warmer than all the sunsets that you've been apart. I never gave up on you, Barney Farnie. And you never gave up on us. It doesn't matter how long it's been. You did it, honeybee. We're together again.

Barney begins to weep as he holds her tighter than he's ever held anything in his life. Barney's gaze turns to Elga, and after a moment, a single tear trickles down her cheek. Calliope? What? Is that my name? Barney, you found her too. You found our Calliope. I thought we'd lost her forever. Elga, you notice the Countess looks down at you, and you think you see her eyes getting misty.

I'm afraid I'm somewhat in the dark about this as well. I was always under the impression that I was a mother, but I would not put it past Hugo to spin a web of lies and deceive us all.

That being said, I would never want to stand between a mother and her daughter. But I'm afraid this whole reunion must be put on hold. I am needed. We are needed elsewhere. And must make haste to Fauna Lock at once. The Countess wipes her eyes, dusts herself off, and starts marching southward. Could, uh, Elgar run after her and embrace her and say, Even if you're not my real mother, I will always think of you as my mother. At least one of them. Because I will love you forever no matter what.

Her eyes get really teary. They well up and she, you know, gets down on one knee and then wraps her arms around you and holds you really tight. Got to get a move on now. Let's go. The rest of you are welcome to follow if you wish, but there is no time to wait. Chip joins the hug and says, what did you mouth to me earlier? I need to know. Okay, team, complete our mission.

And I'll go like, does the whole like, come on, gang. The big waving arm. Yeah. Sorry, my brain just went to when you said that. I was like, that's right. Our mission of clearing our names of murder. Oh, it's so much more than that now. That's what I mean. It's kind of balloons from there. Our multi-leveled mission that has come from many different side quests and whatnot. True.

I leave Barney and Marnie and everyone to have their moment. And then I join Elga. Yeah, I got joined. I joined. Also at this point, like what does Elga actually know? Like she obviously realizes that,

everything has been a lie and that she's actually Barney and Marnie's daughter, Kalia P. But like, does she, is she starting to remember anything or is it still kind of like, if you guys stole it when you were a baby, you wouldn't remember anything. Yeah. It's still not clear. You don't remember it very well. Actually, I say you don't remember it at all. I'd say as she's walking, she keeps kind of glancing back to look at Marnie and the other boys.

Can I have an aside with Mateed? Yeah, you can do your sidebar, Chip and Mateed. Yeah, I realize that there's a lot of like reunions happening like mother-daughter and husband-wife and families and all that stuff. And I kind of pull Mateed to the side because they're also not having a part of the reunions. And I'm just kind of like, it's kind of, it's beautiful. I'm glad everyone's getting back together, but I really miss my wife. And I'm really sad. Can I have a hug, Mateed? I'm just, I'm just having a hard day.

I give him a big ol' hug with all six of my arms. Oh, that's a solid hug. Mateed's attacking, Chip! So you all begin walking, and then after a few hours of trudging down the mountainside, your already aching bones and fatigued feet pound with pain in every step. The high noon half sun peeks out from behind what was a relentless curtain of vanian clouds. Everyone make a constitution saving throw. The emo pieces, we forgot to trade them in.

I was too busy hugging you and not telling you about... You've got souvenirs now from your trip to Vania. God! And who knows? You could change them at the bank back home. You get a bad exchange rate, but, you know, it's better than nothing. Just don't do it at the airport. Ha ha ha ha!

10 on my constitution saving throw. 18. 18, 23. Elga, maybe it's from carrying the countess earlier, the weight of all of this that's going on. You just feel exhausted from this long walk and the countess looks at you, Elga. I know your pain and we will rest soon enough.

But we must secure safe travel to Faunalog while we have the light of day. And you all press on for another 15 minutes, and eventually the black gravel ground gives way to lush brush and tall grass. The Countess parks some reeds and steps onto a dock. She turns back to you all. I told you it wouldn't be long. Soon you'll be resting on the...

Boat? She stops dead in her tracks, and you all do see a boat. In fact, it's the familiar ship, the SS Better Prize. But the riverbed is utterly desiccated, and the ship is beached on the arid ground. Not a single drop is left in the channel. It's worse than I thought. The timetable is moving much quicker than I anticipated. Captain Kerg oozes out from the boiler deck with spork on his shoulder and waves to you. No, no, no. Blarabelle Garibald! Ah!

The Countess ignores him completely and starts looking around for something. She licks her finger and sticks it into the air and immediately starts jogging along the shoreline. Follow me. I have another idea. It's not as direct, but it will take us most of the way there. Everyone make another constitution saving throw. I'm tired. 14. 21. 12. 22. All right.

Alright, metagame speaking, Chip and Elga, you each have one level of exhaustion at this point, just from all of the walking. Hair. You all forge ahead, trying your best to gain a second wind and ignore your splitting sides. It's tough to say how much longer you all travel. All your focus is preoccupied by the humidity thickening around you. You can feel your clothes sticking to your bodies.

In a choo-choo, you all spot a column of white smoke trailing just past the tree line up ahead. We're almost there, but we can't afford to miss this train. It will be hours before the next one comes along. Everyone needs to sprint this last leg to catch the Groteth Express, which is pulling out of the station. Everyone make an athletics check. I have disadvantage because of fatigue. Yeah, that's an 11. Do I need to also do it with disadvantage? Yes.

14 with disadvantage. Wow. It was a 27 with... I know, right? 18. Everyone, you're barely able to do it. You're able to overcome your heavy feet and just at the last second, able to reach the caboose of the train and safely climb aboard. Can Chip just grab onto the stairs and be dragged for about 20 feet before pulling something off? That hurts so much. As everyone catches their breath, the Countess opens the train car door and urges all of you inside with a nod of her head.

The Countess closes the door and you find yourselves in a train car stacked with luggage and box supplies. She sets down on a nearby crate. As I was trying to explain earlier, I'm not really a Countess. I'm an agent of a covert organization called Sheath. We are protectors of a great secret that must be guarded at all costs. That's why we're headed to Fonolok. My name is not Von Brath. It's Tempur. Sedate Tempur. ♪

How do I know that name before? Before, like, time? Ah, I am Haney. Chip Haney. We've heard that before, I think. I don't know. We'll have to find out if you have or what that all means in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Can we longer ask? Can we longer please? Can we longer ask? We'll see you guys next week. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Did you know you can directly support the show by becoming a patron at patreon.com/stinkydragon? Become a patron, you could get your name shouted out at the end of the show. Our patrons directly support the show and get ad-free episodes, access to our patron-only Discord server, bonus content like second win and behind the screen, and more. Again, that's patreon.com/stinkydragon. We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. We also want to thank some friends who write a voiceover for characters in this episode.

This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger.

Head over to patreon.com/stinkydragon for all things Stinky. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

It's not about me, it's about the survivors, I gotta save 'em. A second celestial being has hit the- *laughs* Oh my god. Oh my god. Give yourself an inspiration die, I don't know who's gonna make it, that might get cut, but give yourself an inspiration die. Nooo. Why wouldn't that make it? That's so funny.