C02 - Ep. 33.5 - Passé in Perrish - Between the Tales
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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

a few shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello everyone, welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. This is episode 33.5. It is a Between the Tales episode. You do not get a spooky voice. What about an arrow? You get a fun game. A game? D&D! Ha ha ha!

I'm gonna give one player a feat of my choosing. Oh if if if they can accurately and succinctly Chris you raised your hand so go for it recap. I don't know the timer starts now you you buzzed in all right well we started with the murder what murder

No, no, no, no. Cheat codes. Cheat codes. You put that down. This is not succinct. Chutes and ladders. Barbara, the murder of one of the, you know. 80 seconds. Oh, my goodness. Wolfman. And then we were blamed for the murder. We went on a try and figure out who the murderer is. Alchemist broke, helped us break out of jail. We went through and we found that Eddie's like doing all this bad stuff and blaming us for the murder. So we went chasing after Eddie. And then Eddie kept framing us for stuff. We were going through trying to get all the lands, you know, go to Phoenix.

60 seconds. And then we fought a cat phoenix. We went to Phoenix and fought this phoenix. So we did that and then

We've been doing more stuff. 40 seconds. Barney is... He thinks he's alive, but he might not be. And then the cat's actually not a cat. 30 seconds. And then also we just fought a bunch of the...

The hags and we beat them and so we're they're trying to invade Paris 20 seconds and take over more and we didn't and we stopped them and then also we saw Carol and she was a hag but then she had to she like passed out Wow all right that with 10 seconds to spare welcome to tales from the stinky dragon was the I'm gonna finish the question now okay okay oh please let it be something completely different if they can accurately and succinctly recall the previous arc

In 90 seconds. I saw Blaine had their hand up first before Barbara. Technically, he did it about nine. He did. He didn't. He didn't. So I would like to see if anybody can do more on the previous arc. Blaine, go for it. Okay, so we're on a train heading to Parrish. At one point, Jacques the cat. You already got something wrong. What? No, we're heading on a train to...

Parish was one of the places that we ended up because we were chasing after Jacques. 80 seconds. So we get there. We get encountered by the Headless Horseman. And then he thinks that we're bad guys. We're good guys. It's chill. We run into Louis the Ice Giant who is terrorizing the town. We defeat him and then save a lady. And then he... Who's the lady's name? 60 seconds. Uh...

So her and the Headless Horseman have like a little rendezvous because it's Parrish. So we're looking around. We try to get out of Parrish into the hag territory and past them. But in the process, we run into a plot by the hags to take over Parrish. They have somehow... Katrina was actually a hag in disguise. Takes over the Headless Horseman's brain. Brainwashes him. I think because they have...

his head in there under his control and that somehow controls the headless horseman. So we have to get back into Parish. We try to get the cavalry, which is like the local police force to help us stop this hag invasion. So then we encounter the hags as they're about to come in. There's three hags that are like leading the whole charge. One of them, Shivy, seems like they're not completely aligned with them.

We get into this big battle. Turns out Shivey's actually my wife, Carol, in disguise. But we're able to stop it, but Shivey gets away. One, two, one. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Barbara, your hand was up after Blaine. Was there anything you felt like he missed or anything you want to elaborate on? Yeah, there's a couple things he missed. One of them was us stumbling upon the grave of one Barney Farney. Oh, he covered that. Where we discovered Barney's

Barney has a bit of a tragic backstory and may or may not be alive. We also traveled to the astral plane where we discover a little bit more about Matide's past. Australian. Where we learn that Jacques is actually Jack. And then Matide got a new cat in the making. Named. Named.

We also met the also Bernie's dog stinker. We also met the Hannah's character

The mummy. The mummy who was a ghost in the tavern. She was kind of drunk. That was cool. The covenord is where the hags all live. Talon is what...

Something. No, that's good. 20 seconds. They're controlling the alchemist. They are. Yes. Well, kind of. Yeah. Oh, Louis. They're using Louis. Has a split personality. For bad. Yeah. And he has no control over it. Yeah. He's taking potions. Five. I wrote something that says Ragnar has headdress. There's also, we find out there's another organization. So Chip used to work for Dagger. Dagger.

Carol worked for Talon. And then there's another one I think called Sheath. Right. Well, in Chip's vision, we saw the hag say something about sheath or she teeth or something like that. But then in the last episode, we heard what they actually said. That's right. Do you feel like they missed anything, John, that you want to cover?

I think they did a good job. I think they did a good job. Sheath. I think they did a very good job. I think they covered a lot of it. I think, yeah, y'all hit pretty much all of the key moments I was looking for here from each of the episodes. So which feet should I add to my character sheet? We each get one lucky. We each get one left foot. You know, I think nobody really mentioned Juzzy the Darkling who led you through the mausoleum. I know, they missed that. The traitor! I even wrote Juzzy. I don't think anybody mentioned the Dome of Ice in which you had to fight.

Lewis, initially. You kind of mentioned that. No, I didn't. I'll be honest. Yeah, I think other than that, you pretty much covered all of it. I will say, I think Barbara hit the most points that I was looking for out of everyone here. For this campaign, this arc. Which was the question.

When I saw Chris's arm up on it. All right, let's go. He did a pretty good job. He did. Of the overall arc. But for this, for the question for this previous arc, I'm going to say it was Elga. What feat does Elga get? So you can add this under features and traits. Okay. Feats, manage feats, and then add the feat name, Charger. Charger.

Charger, okay. You can use dash and gain a bonus action to melee attack or shove. That's actually really good for you. Yes. Now, is this a 69 charger? Because those are pretty slick pieces. These days, there are four-door sedans, but back in the day... It would have...

been cheating if I had tried to get for that because I already have a feat that lets me recall everything with accurate recollection. Oh, true. Matisse does not need more power. What? I need another boost. Come on. All right. I've added Charger. Yay! So it's when you use dash action, you can use a bonus action to make a melee weapon attack or shove a creature. So it has to be when I use dash, not anything else. That's cool, though, because that means you can go far and then still attack, which is really good for your character. Yeah.

Dash is usually like... What is it? Double your speed? So you can double move and then still attack. That's great. I'm coming to get you. Sorry, what's the attack? It's an unarmed strike? Melee attack. Melee. Okay. Wait, so then she can use her axe then? Yes. Heck yeah. Meanwhile, back in Talon HQ. What's going on there? Slore. Yeah.

No! Leave mom alone!

All four of you start to feel an intense drowsiness wash over you. The world around you blurs and your eyelids droop. She said everyone go to bed, I think. Yeah, go mimi's. And just before you drift off to sleep, you hear a scream of outrage followed by a feeling of being cradled. All four of you fall asleep and you can all get on the bright side. Everyone gets a long rest. Yay! But my wife...

You guys are, you're next to each other. You're safe. You're good. Oh, can I, can I like, am I still cradling Carol when I fall asleep? I think you're being cradled. Well, that's what, well, I would want to go for the, like, you know, if you can try, it's like, you know, as you're dozing off. Sure. Why not? Cause I don't know if I'm dying or if I'm going to sleep. So I'm going to like do the last thing that feels right, which is hold on to Carol. Oh, that's sweet. Everyone make a perception check.

Fine. I'm going to perceive how to kill Eddie because he took my wife. That's an eight or five. 12. 19. I have an eight. Oh, that's a rare low perception check from Elga. Chip and Elga, you start to come to and regain your consciousness. And it's really hard to notice anything because you're laying on some rocky ground that's very uncomfortable. It's hard for you to really look around and focus on anything else.

Mateed, you stir and you notice that behind you, you see some dense fog rolling over some hills. Barney, with the highest perception roll of all,

Maybe you're used to, uh, you got like old man powers. You don't need very much sleep or something. He cleaned his glasses. I slept on the way. You took a nap earlier. Already did, actually. Before you, you see jagged, craggy mountain made of black rock. And you also notice that the alchemist nor Carol seem to be anywhere in sight. You see a mountain and it's just us in the middle of like wilderness. Yeah, you're all around rocky ground. You see some dense fog rolling over some hills. And before you is a

Jagged, craggy mountain made of black rock. Does this look familiar? Like, do I recognize this mountain? Make a, we'll call it a wisdom check. Can I make it as well? Sure, why not? Eight, nine. Nope, never seen this mountain before. Wise old souls. I wasn't going to do it, but now I want to. Before the party starts getting up and like perturbing the ground. What? Perturbing? Perturbing?

Are you okay? What happened there? My wife! Disturbing? Ladies and gentlemen, Borat has joined the... I want to know what word he was trying. P-Prot-Proturb? Perturb? Disturb? No. Blurble-gurble, perturb. Footprints. Do I see if, like, I know my wife's feet size. What size? Seven.

That's canon. Make an investigation check. I think you're perturbed. That'll be on our separate wiki page, Stinky Feet. Oh, yeah. It's a net one. Plus four, five, five. Yeah, you cannot seem to find any kinds of tracks or anything in the area.

I'm very perturbed. By the way, I rolled a nine, so we don't get anything else from this. Could I roll a wisdom too? Do it. The wisest of us. The wisest. So much wisdom packed in that tiny little body. I'm going to be so smart and get a 15. Yay. Oh, yeah. So do you feel like your party members

are looking kind of slack-jawed at the mountain. Okay. Like they're not comprehending what they're seeing. You see it for what it is. It's a mountain, but you've just never seen this specific one in the past. You know that confidently. What kind of terrain or like weather are we dealing with? Like, are we a snowy kind of place? There's fog somewhere behind us. Yeah, it's kind of...

brisk, cold, and foggy. Oh. Okay, but not as something we're familiar with. No. What does the air smell like? So, I will say the dense fog rolling over the hills, that seems familiar to you since you roll so high on your wisdom. That does seem like... Parisian? Parisian. Reminiscent of the city of Parish. And

Even though maybe you think you've never seen this mountain, there is something about the black rock composing the mountain that seems familiar to you, Elga. Is it like the... No, it wouldn't be like the rock from the fireplace.

No. Okay. Where have we seen Black Rock before? That sounds familiar. I've seen it in Warcraft. Did we ever figure out who... Gus didn't even hear my wow joke and I just... I'm reading a couple of things. I made a wow reference and I need you to acknowledge it. Thank you. I was also thinking of Lost, the ship, the Black Rock. Oh, yeah. Did we ever figure out who's the other possessor of the Cartus Deia? Oh, who was sending you letters? Yeah.

Dunno. Do I know? Do I remember? You should have asked Carol! We didn't have much time there, Bernie. Or, Barney. Sorry. Bernie. Bernie. Bernie. What, Chip? Did you lose your wife again?

This isn't funny. I think that's a very sensitive subject to Chip. That's in character. I said it in character. Normally Chip is very chipper. He is not feeling great. Like he's like probably looking around, just checking, like manically looking for any clues. Have you looked in your bum bag?

Honestly, that might be actually a legitimate question. Okay, I look into my bum bag because I remember there was an exchange of some sort. You remember, Carol did put something into your bum bag. Right. You reach into it and there is something unexpected in there. You pull it out and it's a silver pin embossed with a symbol that appears to be a scabbard with an S wrapped around it.

Oh, that's... Sheath. Sheath, yeah. Don't you have a silver locket, Elga? Yeah. I'm just curious. Silver jewelry. Should I look at my locket? No, it was just a silver jewelry. Maybe think about it. Chip, look, we match now. What's in... What is that locket? This locket? Yeah. Some pictures. Hmm. Isn't it your sister? It's my sister. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Is there anything...

No, no, no. It just triggered a mind. This is just me. This is Chekhov's silver locket thing. Could I look at my locket just in case? It's just how you remember it. Carol, pop out. It's a picture of Carol. Wait a minute. Carol is my sister? What? What's like...

What's our distance to this mountain? Is it like, are we at the base of it? Is it like in the distance? Yeah, you're kind of at the base of it. I'll tell you what, make me a survival check for me, Mateed. Oh no, I always fail these. You should probably also investigate what this locket is, this silver thing. I got 21. Oh, nice. I will survive. You are at the base of this mountain.

And, you know, as you're looking around trying to figure out where you are in relation to it, you actually see there's a trail leading up the mountain. And there's a pair of drag marks leading up the trail. Oh, is there drag marks? Drag? As in like someone was dragged? Yeah, as in like presumably like two bodies have been dragged. Like, okay. Could be Carol, could be Alchemist.

Okay, well, before I do that, what do I know of Sheath? Is this an organization that's even more like top secret than Dagger? You have not heard of the organization Sheath in the past. Is there anything else, any other information that can be gleaned from this pendant? Your only experience with Sheath so far has been Carol mentioning it and then I guess this pendant or this pin. And also that vision Chip had, right?

of the hag, like, on the ground. Wasn't she, like, all, like, beat up, going, like, she, like, you're trying to read her lips, and she was saying, like, she teeth. Was that Shivey in that vision? I think it was. Maybe you've seen this logo on the pin before? It's something you haven't paid attention to, or doesn't, like, really stick out in your mind. Maybe you've seen the logo written somewhere? I don't know. Hey, gang, I got a gift from my wife in our very short amount of time together. How do you know it's from your wife? What?

What? How do you know it's from your wife? Well, because, okay, so to catch you up in the middle of that battle, whenever I went up to break Shivy out of the prison that she was in, they revealed to me that that was Carol undisguised. Oh.

She's alive? She's alive. And if I didn't kill my wife, first and foremost. No, we don't know that. And no one else saw her except for you. Yeah, we have not seen. Sure, Chip, you didn't kill your wife, and that was definitely her. Yeah, not saying that you did. It's just that we do not know yet. I'm trying to be as friendly as I can. I'm going through a lot emotionally right now, gang. So if you could just, like, cool it. Okay.

But did she, you said she gave you this little pin? Yeah. So, you know, I know my wife. I know that she's a good person. So whoever this sheath organization is, I believe that they have her, you know, on some sort of an assignment to infiltrate the Coven Nord. Or maybe they've stolen her. I don't know. They're not mutually exclusive. Ha ha.

That is not true. Great insight from Barney there. That is very astute, Barney. I appreciate your input so much. Barney just showed up, everyone. Barney worked for corporate America for many years. Knows you could be working for someone and a slave to the corporation. Perhaps we should investigate these tracks that I found. We should, but before we do, does anybody recognize this S, this sheath symbol? Does anybody? I need help. I need to know if anyone sees this. Take a look.

Yeah. If anyone wants to look at it can make a wisdom check. I miss rolling with muds, wisdom modifiers. Nine. I have good wisdom. 14. 15 for Elga. Not bad.

Very wise, Elka. Barney, you've had bad wisdom checks today. I know. Give a plus five modifier. No, the... Just to make Chris feel worse about it. I'm just saying. I expect him to normally roll really good on these. He does have good wisdom, yeah. No, the symbol does not seem like at all familiar to anybody else. Okay. I've never seen the letter S before. Hey.

But you know what it is. Elga von Brass has no ass in it. Gang, I think we should go follow these marks then. Oh, and Chip puts his hood on. That means that Chip's in his, like, anti-hero face. All right. I like how Blaine points, like, excuse me. Blaine's doing the little tip of his head and finger pointing. Things, Chip,

Hey, the Chip you knew, he's away right now for business, all right? You're getting serious, Chip. Oh, I am so... Don't mock me, Mateen. I'll kill you. Too late. Minnesota Chip just showed up.

You got me there. Wisconsin Chip's gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Chip you knew and loved, he's out. He's gone on vacation. Now that you say that, I want this Chip to have like a Brooklyn accent or something. It's just totally different. I'm walking here. Chip, hey, me. Someone really chipped him off. Yeah. Mati walks along the tracks. Me too. As do I. Barney, do you want to come? I will come. Who's that?

That was me saying Barney will follow. But Elga addressed you and you answered and Chris, is Chris here? Yes. I'd like to see if Chris is in this place with us. Make an investigation check. Is the Chris in the room? Ten. You think there may be a Chris in the room with you? I think someone is in this realm with us we do not know before. While we walk, can Barney go up to Chip? Sure. And be like,

I just want you to know, it's really brave of you to go after her. It can be scary to go off. I just look...

I'm sorry. I'm processing. Blaine was like bracing for you to take another jab at him. And so your sincerity has caught him off guard. I've had family missing for a long time. And it's not always easy to go searching. It seems like it would be.

Chip rests a hand on Barney's shoulder. I appreciate that, Barn. We're going to figure this out. And by golly, we're going to find out and get to the bottom of your mystery. Are you guys crying? Elga? Are you guys getting emotional? Elga, we are having a moment. Okay.

Now you got some tinker to help you track stuff down. He's a full-blooded bonehound. No bone. Do you have a sad mystery that you would also like to, like, you know... Elga doesn't feel emotions anymore. Why does he look like you're crying right now? It's precipitation. It's precipitat-

I think Micah pointed out that I think Elga does still have one emotion. Rage. Elga smash. The most important emotion. Hey, little stinkers. It's John here. I wanted to give you your own little update on what's going on in the stinky world in February. February, we got a Discord event coming up just for our first members, which will be on February 20th at 4 p.m. Central Time.

I'm going to be ranking all of the Stinky Dragon NPCs along with the first members in the chat. And we're going to have an exhaustive list of NPCs. And if you're not there, you don't get to have an opinion on how we rank them. It can only be there if you're a first member. So if you want to support the show directly, you should consider becoming a first member. There are patrons and you can find out how to become that at stinkydragonpod.com slash first. And our first members, they support us and they allow us to create more great content that they get to

We also have Show Me the Magic, which is an exclusive show on how Sneaky Dragon Adventures, our awesome puppet show, was made. They get ad-free episodes at SneakyDragonPod.com and an ad-free podcast feed, including all of our bonus content available at Blaine's favorite URL, SneakyDragonPod.com slash RSS.

And they also get, like I said, monthly subscriber events like live streams, Discord events, and even exclusive merch on occasion. That's pretty cool. Speaking of merch, coming out next week on February 16th during the lovingness month of the year. That's a word. Bartholomew, Bartholomew, Bartholomew.

I can't say his name. Bartholomew Finn's tour shirt. It's coming out. It's Barb's character from Infinite. He's got his own shirt and it's awesome. It looks like a band tour shirt. And if you want all the shirts, you got to remember we also have Gum Gum's cool flower power shirt in the store and a neat little dice tray that you can roll dice in or maybe feed a pet out of. I'm pretty sure it could hold kibble. Speaking of kibble,

I don't have a segue for this. We're on social media and Discord. You can find us at Discord at bit.ly slash Stinky Discord and join us there. Or if you like the socials, we're at StinkyDragonPod on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook. Even threads. We're on threads, you all. Or we're on Reddit. And my voice is really high right now. You can go to r slash StinkyDragonPodcast to find us there.

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Bernie, let's get a move on, bud. Yeah, let's go. We got to get to the bottom of this. Or the top of it, because we're going to the mountain. You're right. What's y'all's marching order? I'll be in front. I'll be second. I was going to say I was going to be in front. It's my wife. Dude, should we roll off to see who's in front? Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Let's go. Who can power rock faster? Let's just roll a D6. Let's just do it. Yes. Very good. No modifiers. I'm a one. What does that mean? Last or first? I assume that's last. Three. Five. Two. One.

So Barney's first. I didn't know Barney was mine. That's fine. I don't want to go first. Barney's first. Give me your dice. Barney, Mateen, Chip, Elga. This seems like a great marching order. I just want to say. Why are we going so slow? And nobody got what they wanted. That's what compromise means. Barney, Mateen, Chip, Elga. Barney can go fast. Chip's further back than he was intending. I'm not in the front.

You got the old man on the walker leading the way. Well, why don't we just swap Chip and Barney? So it'll be Chip, Mateed, Barney, Elga. Only if Chip and Barney are okay with that. No, I was trying to get ahead of Chip. Okay. On a serious note, I'm trying to do something with the character. Okay. So I wouldn't mind leading because this is, you know, like I'm getting to the point of my mission. Chip, would you like to lead the group? I would love that. Oh, then all you have to do is ask.

That's all I had to do? That's all you had to do. Why would I fight you for walking in the front of this place? I mean, what if someone were to come and try to kill us? Gee whiz, I didn't think of that. By all means, you may shield me like the friend you are. After you, Chip. So is it Chip Barney Mateed Elga? Let's say yes to move on. Yes. Okay. Okay.

Strategically speaking! I'm kidding, yeah, that's fine, that's fine. Oh, I hate you guys. Chip, make me an investigation check. I'm glad I led. Oh, that's a... Not bad. As you're walking up the trail leading to the party, you come across a trail of scarlet droplets leading up to a small red puddle in the middle of some large, jagged rocks. Look, Elga, a snack. Hey, Elga. Yeah? I think that this falls under your purview.

Rocks? Blood! Blood? Wait, why would you think that? No reason. I'll still check it out, though. Just to make sure we're all safe. You have those special glasses. We just thought that you'd be very good for investigating. Yeah, let me go take a look, actually. If you don't mind.

She sticks her head in. I'll also investigate. Like into the puddle? Not in, like up close to the puddle. Could I do a little, like, I'd take a little dip, dip, lick, lick. Yeah, you get down real close to the puddle and the puddle tastes familiar. Oh, that was not a word I thought you were going to say. Are you a positive person?

A positive? It's a vintage you've had experience with in the past. Are you saying it's blood? Who has Elga drank from? It's not the hemoglobin goblin, is it? As you taste it and think about it, the blood congeals and forms itself into a blood method that strikes out at you, Elga.

Okay, not cool. It hits AC. That's like if Chris was attacked by ice cream. Yeah. Just his greatest love betraying him. It hits AC 20. Yeah, that hits. The blood forms into two blood methods, actually. Oh, no. And one of them lashes out at you while you're not expecting it, Elga, and hits you doing two points of bludgeoning damage.

No. Each or like two total? Two total. Okay. Do you have like a new thing that you could use? Like a cool new power? I'm not currently raging, so it's not like I take half damage or anything like that. No, like your level up stuff. Oh, okay.

Because we leveled up. That's a good segue. This is a Between the Tales episode, so that means everyone is now level seven. Even though we call them Between the Tales, but these episodes are part of the lore of the story, so people should be listening to them. I think during the Infinite campaign, it was very much detached from the story. I think we're trying to incorporate a little more story now. It's fun. We get to do role play and make Chip cry.

What do you want to do? I'll give you a reaction here since you're the one who got attacked. Yeah. How close are they to me? Like they must be right up on me because I just hit, right? Yeah. One of them is right up on you attacking you. The other one is like booking it super fast away from y'all.

Oh, really? Well, is it more than 60 feet away from me yet? No, but it is flying. FYI. Could I throw my axe of the scare about it? Yeah. Is that the one you can recall? Yeah. Yeah. It's like a boomerang. Neat. Okay, boomerang. Okay. 18. Does that hit? Yeah. I'm pretty sure it does. Yeah, it does. That does...

Eight points of damage on it. It explodes into a puddle of blood that falls back down to the ground. A great rock band. Elga sticks open her mouth and just goes, ah. And then I don't think it cost me any sort of action or bonus action to recall the axe. I believe you are correct. So I want to use the same axe to hit this one close up on me. Do you have to do anything cool to recall it?

That was better than I could imagine. The shoulder shrug after. It specifically says as part of your attack, you can make the axe fly back to your empty hand. So it's not like its own action or bonus action. It's just part of the attack. No, but what Barbara did is what I wanted. Canonically, yes. The yoo-hoo must happen every time. Can it do a thing where it hits the thing on the way back to you? Or is that a double attack? No, probably not. If you want to incorporate it as an attack roll, you can try that.

I'll just catch it and then hit the one in front of me. Yeah, do it. Go for it. Paching! Nice. 26. 26. Believe it or not, that hits. Good hit. Only seven points of damage on that. That's exactly what you need. Yay! This blood mephit also screams and disintegrates back into a puddle of blood in front of you. Wait, we encountered the blood mephits out in Karkasuk, yeah? Yeah.

Yeah. I love the way Chip says carcassouk. Carcassouk. So y'all been out there to carcassouk yet? These probably aren't native to this land. That is weird that we're seeing these in what we think may be a parish.

Yeah. I wonder how they got there. Anyways, I'm going to just take a little sip of this, if you don't mind. You're going to clean it up? You don't want anyone slipping on it? Yeah, just could I do some... It exploded in your face, so it's all over. You have a little bit right there, if you want to get it. Okay, hold on. Okay.

Okay, I'll clean. I have a question for the party. Does anybody remember how that Hema Goblin encounter ended? Didn't we, did we freeze it? I think we destroyed it and then inside of it was the inspector. I think it gave kind of like one of those like, I'll get you kind of speeches before it

Like, claw from Inspector Gadget? Yeah. I think that something like that happened. Like, it was still alive. That's what I thought. I just can't remember. I can't remember the specifics of how it retreated. I'm just trying to remember the alliances. Who is it, like, aligned with? Because if this is, like, an Eddie truth... I don't know. Then there could be, like, a, you know...

This could be a little snake mountain, Skeletor situation. We're going to the headquarters. Yeah. Elga, are you all right? I'm so good. If you see any more of those blood things hanging around, just let me know. I will do that right away. You'll take care of it, right? Could I also put some of it in my sippy cup? Sure, why not? Okay. I dunk my sippy cup in and... You know, for the road. Yes.

What for the road? For investigative reasons. Well, you know, they said that you could, you know, blood anyways. Where's your wife, Chip? Who was in front? Chip. No, Chip. Chip was in front. Chip, would you like to proceed on the path? Let's get boogieing. Or would you like me to take the front? No, no.

Okay, I just wanted to check. My wife. Okay. You continue your trek up the mountainside. Why don't you make me another investigation check, Chip? Oh, you know I'm going to succeed on this one.

Here we go. I mean, 16's relative, right? 16. Oh, that's really good. As you are walking up, you discover a small cave in the side of the mountain, and there are drag marks on the ground leading inside. And you feel like every now and then you hear a scream coming out from inside the cave. I silently pause the party, and then I ask Barney...

Don't you got some sort of dark vision thing? I do. Let's boot that up. Okay. We're going to have to, you know, go in there. And it shoots off. It does. It shoots off? Eyes of night, you have a dark vision out to a range of 300 feet. As an action, you can share this dark vision with up to five willing creatures you can see within 10 feet of you. It lasts for one hour. Who are you sharing it with? I'm sharing it with the party. And? And, I guess, Stinker. Yeah! I was going to say. Yeah.

I don't want him to get lost. We can throw the bone real far and he'll go get it. It scares Stinker. He closes his eyes. Oh. He does that thing where he closes his eyes and just starts shaking a little bit. He's a chihuahua. Got it. Your dark vision activates so you can see pretty well into the cave. And since you can see all the way into the cave, you see that the drag marks end in a mountain goat being held down to the ground and fed on by two giant bats. Oh.

Wait, bats? Yeah, two giant bats are currently sucking the blood of a mountain goat that they've trapped inside the cave. Oh, I'll attack the bats. I'm conflicted. You say you're attacking the bats? Yeah, yeah, get away from that poor mountain goat. The bats have to eat. Could I communicate with the bats? Can you? I mean, I have echolocation, I have keen hearing, and I may have something else. What do you got?

Spill the beans. I don't know if I should say it. Spill the beans. Because I don't know if Elga's discovered it yet. That's up to you. It's how you come across these things.

Okay guys before we attack anything, you know, I think bats are just a little bit maybe misunderstood creatures Do you mind if I give something a try? Go for it. Go nuts! I've been working on this. I do prefer things that fly over the ground ones. Okay. Well, I want to protect the baby goat. I'm focusing. No one's a baby. No one's a baby. Well, everything's a baby in chip size. Including Elga? The baby is baby Elga. Why not me?

You are the ugliest baby. There are some babies that look like old men. That's true. Okay, I need to focus. Bet. Bet. Bet.

I'm very happy. Yeah, you are now flying around the party. Oh

I'm just imagining bat body, elga head. What do we hear? Yeah, you can understand her. Wow. What size is bat elga? Bat elga is not giant bat size, just like a more average bat size. Oh, so just like a... So like still... Like a fruit bat. Oh, a fruit bat. That's like six inches? Oh.

Yeah. And the bats that are eating on the goat. Those are giant bats. In D&D terms, they are large. Mud turned into giant bat to carry the, uh, the hemobile. The hemobile in campaign one. That's true. Um, am I able to communicate with them? Yeah. Oh, dang. It is me, also a bat.

Clearly. Do you see my wings? That's how I approach anybody new. Hello, fellow humans. It is also a human. Also a human. Do you see my wings and how I fly? That's very cool. She turns back into Elga when she says that. No, she didn't say Elga. Yeah, exactly. I find people, what people are doing over here. Is this ghost?

What's your persuasion modifier? I'm just curious. Feeding. Oh. Feeding. Oh, very cool. Little bat join. Did we figure out if we can understand her? We do. I didn't hear your answer. So they don't know what the giant bats have said. Only you know that, Elga. So Elga says...

Try to lure them away from the goat. We, you know. But what? I mean, circle of life, you know? Yeah, but the goat, you know, might, I don't know, could be a shapeshifter of some sort. Is there anything that I could tell is like special about this goat? It's a really good screamer. Oh, it's like still alive. Yeah. That's the screams that you all heard from inside the cave. This goat sure does look tasty, but I have to tell you guys, just outside the cave, it's

Ooh. Ooh.

Free blood. Free blood, yes. Not that they have to pay for it normally. Free of being inside the creature. They take to the air and fly out of the cave, leaving the goat. I think the coast is clear and the ghost is clear. Elga! Elga re-transforms from a bat back to the Elga we all know. And I probably fall down onto the ground and pass out in the air. That is so fascinating. Chip, what can you turn into?

*Mumbling* That's the first time I've heard that, that's very interesting. The goat bounds out of the cave and begins running up the mountain. *Mumbling*

That goat's going to save our lives someday. Can't wait for the finale. I said he is about to bring down his axe. You hear a scream from on high. It was the god of goats that we didn't know was there. It could be a druid. Who knows? You know? Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like John's been reading Greek mythology over here. There's a lot of goats in Greek mythology. Well, is there anything else further than this cave or should we go back out to the trail? No, that's pretty much it for this cave. Okay. Yeah.

You kind of sidestepped a lot of it with your infernal night vision. Yeah, yeah. Matida does a nice little head bow and lets Chip go ahead. Okie dokie, gang, back on the trail. Here we go. And then I start heading back up. Everyone else is imagining, like, Chip doing that little, like, power walk kind of thing, like the shuffling. Oh, yeah. The glutes are activated for sure.

Does anyone think we should get Chip longer shorts? Five-inch inseam is perfect. It shows off my meaty legs, but it's also conservative enough that it's not inappropriate. Fair enough. Blaine looks like he's power walking in his seat. Chip, make me another investigation check since you're leading the party here. Okay. Here's the good one.

17. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. That's your best one so far, I think. It is. It's because I said so. Yeah. John allowed it to happen. Yeah. As you're walking up the trail, you make a turn in the path and you stumble upon a fellow traveler sitting on the trail. There appears to be a silver-haired dwarf wincing as she rubs her ankle. Oh.

Oh, hey there, friend. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Oh, you scared me. Yeah, I'm a rogue. I'm kind of used to sneaking up on people, but I have no reason to kill you, friend. What are you doing here? Well, we are searching for my wife, Carol. She's beautiful. I can tell you all about Carol. One time we were out at the theater, and I just didn't even pay attention to the play on stage because I was looking at my beautiful wife. My beautiful champion.

And she's just the loveliest person you ever... Anyways, uh... What play was it? Uh, the... Uh, give me a... Come on, you're... Phantom of the Khafra. Nice.

That's actually good because we have coughs in there. It was rats. Oh, rats. Oh, was it the musical rats? Yeah. Yeah, rats. It could have been bats. Was Taylor Swift in that one? Anywho, we're looking for my missing wife and our friend, the alchemist, who may also be an ice giant named Louis. That was a very unconfusing way to tell people what we're doing. I'm pretty confused and I know what's going on.

Is everything okay? What's wrong? You seem to be in a little bit of pain here. She's kind of like rubbing her ankle and wincing. And you can see that she has, it looks like she has an injury on her ankle. I was attacked by some red viscous creature that tried to drag me away. Oh. Was it made of blood? Maybe, but blood?

Shouldn't move around. Where were you going? I'm mountaineering. Mountaineering's for fun. Yeah, looking for treasure. Oh. Looking for precious metals. There are a lot of them here. Well, it's a mountain. Okay. The name's Charlie. Charlie Graves. What's yours? I'm Barney Farney. Nice to meet you. What happened to your ankle? It's all hurt? Yeah, I was attacked. I got the red creature tried to drag me away by the ankle. And did you say that what kind of creature was Charlie? Silver-haired female dwarf. Charlie Graves. Yeah.

Well, Charlie, maybe we can, uh, you know, help you out. Has anybody got heels for Charlie? I can help. Chip Haney, by the way. Pleasure to meet you. Do you know what the blood method is? No, what's that? It might have been the creature that was taking you away. Was it flying? Yeah, like a...

Creature made of I guess blood that can move around? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Elga had wings like uh, what is it called? You know those flying things? What are they called? I know what you're talking about. Yeah, what's the name of them? A bat. It's not where she says bat. She has to willingly want to turn into a bat. Otherwise you don't know if she's watching a baseball game. Like oh, broken bat single. Boom.

I could also only do it, I think, once per long rest. Right? I can fly all the time. Yeah, it's once per long rest. That's nice, McDade. I have a plane looking at me. So should I check that off since I did it? And Barney, were you going to try to assist Charlie? Does Barney have a new way of doing this? No. Nope. Just the same old ways. Yeah, I can do it stronger. Oh. But that same old.

I have to do some new spells. Disabuse spells? Yep, that's what he's going to do. Some new spells. I'm not going to use them because they're not really... I don't know if they... Why don't you just fire one off for fun? Yeah. I'm sure we will rest before the next time we really need to be using our ability. So maybe let's just see what it looks like. I love magic. Uh, okay. What are you going to do, Chris? Well, I...

I mean, I have two new spells that are fourth-level spells. They're Aura of Life. What's that do? 30-foot radius of life-preserving energy, and it basically... Everyone has resistance to necrotic damage, and its hit point maximum can't be reduced. So it's like a buff. Yeah. That's a buff. And then if you...

non-hastile living creatures regain one hit points when it starts to turn in the area and has zero hit points. So it can bring people back. And then I also have greater invisibility. Did you have lesser invisibility at some point? I don't know. Okay, no, I just didn't care. But now I do. I have greater invisibility. We're going to lose our old man.

Why? Because you're going to turn invisible and then we're just going to lose you. Bye-bye. But I can also cast my other spells at fourth level now. Oh, you got fourth level spell slots now. Yeah. What are you going to do to heal this person? I'm going to do a third level. I like when Chris stays in Barney voice while he talks meta. I'm going to. I mean, I could do lesser restoration. No, that's not right.

Where's my healing? I'm sorry, Gus. Listen.

It's a lot of spells to keep track of. You've been looking at your computer this whole recording. He's method, everybody, okay? He's method. As a cleric in Baldur's Gate, it's overwhelming. And then you can change them out, so they're always different. Note to self, don't play cleric next campaign. Clerics are so OP, I think. I think they're really powerful. They're very good. They're just complicated. I want to cast...

I guess aura of vitality, healing energy radiates within 30 foot radius until the spell. And if your aura moves with you, center on you, you can use a bonus action to cost one creature in the aura and clean you to regain 2d6 hit points. Did you say aura of vitality? I understood about 50%. Aura of vitality! Vitality. Vitality. Vitality! There you go. I thought the guy was going to sprout like a very thin mustache and talk about speed. No, they were just going to eat a small meal of vittles. Mm-hmm.

Okay, so your aura of vitality springs forth and I assume you are using it to heal Charlie? Charlie, yeah. It was a glowing aura, right? So he like lights up? It just says healing energy radiates from you in an aura. I guess visually I translate that as like golden light. Go ahead and roll your 2d6 hit points to heal.

Eight. Oh. Yeah, Charlie, you know, stops rubbing her ankle. I almost said heel. And says, oh, that feels much better. He like stomps around a little bit on it, walking around. Make sure you don't get a Charlie horse. Good one, Chip. High five. High five. My wife. You want to make sure you massage it before you go to bed or it might swell. Drink plenty of water. Do rice. You heard of Bengay? Bengay. Um...

It's Dr. Barney. Yeah, Dr. Barney. We had like two trails of drag bodies. Yes. Has one of those ended at Charlie? I think it was both feet of the goat. That's what I'm asking. Well, no, I'm asking like, is the trail still there? Are there two trails still? The trail has kind of come and gone. At this point, you don't see it anymore currently. Okay.

Thank you. Charlie, perhaps you could help us understand how we might be able to get to, I would assume there's a peak of the mountain would be the direction we want to head. Do you know where that is? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Charlie points out a very difficult to see trail and says, head up in that direction. That's where you want to go. Merci beaucoup. Can I roll to check if Charlie's chill? Can I roll for chill? Yeah, you're going to make a vibe check? Yeah, I'm going to check a vibe check. We should have a vibe check. We call it an inside check. It literally is a roll.

How's your insight? It's a minus one. Okay. That's a six. Charlie might be the most trustworthy person I've ever met. Charlie seems super cool. Charlie.

Hey, Charlie. Charlie. Where did the chocolate factory at, huh? You said you're looking for treasure, Charlie, right? Yes. Where are you headed to for that? Oh, I'm going to head deep into the mountain. Should we come with you? It's very treacherous for non-dwarves. Like, is that the size thing or? Just the knowledge of mountaineering and moving around through mines. All right. So you're saying you don't want us to come with you?

No, I appreciate the help, but I travel faster on my own. Have you ever been to the Underglobula? Yes, I have. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Lots of gems down there. Lots of gems. You ever heard of, what was that guy called? Aren't you looking for your wife, Mould?

Listen, I try to distract myself, alright? Very emotional. I try to keep things light. Well, I don't want to hold you up. It sounds like you're very busy looking for someone. Mateed just shuffles Chip along and just like pushes him up the trail. I'll eat a goat over the campfire tonight in your honor. Oh, okay.

That's good. Everything's been forgotten. Charlie rising on the goat in our final boss battle. Yeah. Charlie and the goat. Still, it's the same March Rider, right, Chip? Barney Matita? Yeah, sure. Yeah, you all continue up the path that Charlie pointed out, and up the mountain you hear the sound of rushing water. After some trial and error, you eventually unearth some loose rock in the mountainside that leads into an indoor waterfall of gurgling scarlet ichor. Gurgling and burgling.

Scarlet? Yeah. So red goo. Yes. Out from the crimson water, emerges a horrendous horned creature made of swirling blood. You're even more foolish than I remember. You shall all drown in the vengeance of the hemogoblin. Well, I don't need to breathe, so that's not really that much of a bet. Everyone roll initiative. I have advantage on initiative now. Oh, you do? Yeah. I don't know why. Maybe it's just a level up thing, but a little A showed up.

I rolled a nine. I have a thing that gives advantage. I forgot to use it. Mine's an 18. 23. I rolled an 18. What's your dex? My dex is 14. I'm 15. Cool. So chip first. Chip before Elga. Oh, it's your feral instinct. It's new at level seven. Your instincts are so honed, you have advantage on initiative rolls. Additionally, if you're surprised at the beginning of combat and aren't incapacitated, you can act normally on your first turn, but only if you enter your rage before doing anything else on that turn.

Oh, good to know. And I'm going to roll initiative for the Hemogoblin. Do you think, Professor? I mean...

Inspector Weezer is in the Hemogoblin again this time. That'd be embarrassing. Twice getting hit by the Hemogoblin. So Hemogoblin will go between Elga and Barney. All right, Matide, before you stands, or not stands, but before you is the giant Hemogoblin laughing maniacally, threatening to drown you, which really doesn't, it leaves you nonplussed. Listen, I spent an hour and a half in the ground. You cannot drown me. Yeah, okay, let's do it.

Let's have some fun. Let's party. Let's do this. You want to go nuts? Let's go nuts. Let's go nuts. Yeah, I'm going to get up on his business. Man, I really wish how we defeated him last time. We will do it this time. I'm going to attack him with the Spear of the Spear Baker. Ooh. Just do a nice little attack. Roll for that attack. Ooh, that's only a 13. That hits. Oh, it does. That is the exact number you need. Fantastic.

Oh man, bad rolls. Seven is the damage. That is piercing damage, I assume? Yeah. Yeah. Magical piercing damage. Ooh. Ooh.

I'll do it again. Why not? 11. Well, that is not enough. Oh, actually, wait. I forgot to do something with that last hit. I did a hit and did damage, so I can do a Stunning Strike. Oh, yes. Why not? If it's there, use it. Stunning Strike is when you hit with a melee weapon attack, you can spend a ki point to make the target stunned until the end of your next turn if it fails. Con saving throw of DC 14. And, spoiler alert, I got another ki point. Woo!

I have seven. So how many things could you do now? Well, the key points are the currency, but my limits of actions and turns stays the same. Okay. Do you have a key chain? That's pretty good. That's pretty good. So it's a DC 14. You say constitution saving throw? Yeah, why not? I've got a plus three, so I need an 11 or better. Okay. You rolled a one. Ha ha!

So one. That's a failure, which means the Hemogoblin is stunned, which is a stunned creature is incapacitated, can't move and speak only falteringly. The creature automatically fails strength and dexterity saving throws and attacks against the creature have advantage. Okay, so then can I have my next attack at advantage? Yes. Okay, then I shall roll again. Is it only the next attack or? The Hemogoblin will still be stunned. The stunned lasts until the end of your next tournament. Okay.

Did you want the monk to stun your character at the top of the round? No, I've got a lot of immunities, and I read it like four times, and stun is not in there. Von Seese, 26. That hits. Take nine magical piercing damage. Are we able to just kind of perceive if what they're like...

open to attack to what they're vulnerable to. Are you asking, like, is there a check to see what a creature you're fighting is like? I'm so sorry. Baldur's Gate, you can just, like, right-click something and examine it, and then it'll be like, oh, this person's, like, prone to this damage. Can Blaine right-click the Hemogoblin? There is no right-clicking, but you haven't counted this creature before, so if you ask on your turn, I can probably give you a little bit of a question. Good question. Do you remember when you got that note in your bum bag?

Yeah. Where it said, I'm amongst the dead now. Yeah. It's a funny thing that I just remembered. Because she's among, I mean, she's in parish, right? Yeah. So that's like the dead people. In the Hagling. Anyway, sorry. Complete departure from. I'm happy to talk to you about Carol. That is exactly the kind of thing we should dive into and talk about on Second Wind. Okay. Yeah.

That is a great thing to theorize. Available for first members. Oh, yeah. Become a first member and check out Second Wind. If you like the show, you need a bonus show. Or else. I'm going to round out this fight with just, I'm going to use Flurry of Blows.

Almost said furry of blows. I did not write down that nine points of damage. Let me make sure I get that in here. Get ready to write down some more damage because we're rolling 25. That is a hit. And that is nine magical feet damage. Show feet damage. Yep.

Show feet damage. That's a nat 20, 27. Oh my, okay, so it's a crit. I'm going to take a look at the damage you roll and I'll make sure it's modified for the way we do it. I rolled a 1, 1, 4, so take away one of the ones and put a 6. Yeah, so then that is 11 points of damage. And it's magical feet damage. Magical feet damage. It's very important for you to remember that. But it's like, it's Talon. Yeah, Talon. Talon! Yeah. Matee's working with them. Sale!

I have talents. Mateed's foot deep in talent. I have many.

The most talented. Yeah, and I'm just going to stay up in its business. All right. I believe that's 32 points of damage total from Matit there, if I'm counting that correctly. It is nothing. Matit there. That's a great start. It's true. It is nothing to the Hemogoblin. Chip, you're up. He has 550 hit points. Are they still prone or whatever? Stunned. Yeah. Okay. You... You...

You remember from your previous encounter. I'll tell you what, make me a, let's call it a survival check. Survival check. You got it. Bet. Will you survive? A four. Let that be a lesson to all our listeners. Don't neglect your intelligence and wisdom stats. I always do. You know, sometimes I do it intentionally because it's like, oh, that's a funny character trait. They're dumb.

And then most of the time it's just like, no, I can't do the basic roles. I'm going to make a character next round that has zero physical abilities and is just a mind roaming around with you guys. You need that. What does four get Blaine? You remember you fought this creature before. I knew it. Good job. Old foe. I mean, he did say nice to see you again or something. Didn't he?

Since they are stunned, I have the assassinate feat. You're going to use your feat too to fight? You have advantage on attack rolls against any creature that hasn't taken a turn in the combat yet and any hit you score against a creature that is surprised by a critical hit. So they haven't taken a turn in combat, so I have the assassinate thing. Correct. So I have advantage. Correct. And you have advantage anyway because you're stunned. Right.

Uh-huh. Yeah. But he's going to use his advantage, not mine. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. He's his own rogue. Well, no, like... But also, on... I'm going to use the Kopesh of the Desert Storm. I feel... The Desert Storm of the Desert Tempest? Jet Kopesh. You gain a plus one bonus to attack rolls. You made this weapon on a hit. Deals an additional 1d4 lightning damage. So I'm hoping that the lightning damage does something. You know what they say? What happens when you hit a Hebel Goblin with lightning?

What does happen? Same thing as everything else. God, awful writing. I love it. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I have sneak attack. Sorry, I just thrown all my things at you. Once per turn, you can deal an extra 4d6. He's just going through his character sheet for you guys. 4d6 damage to one creature you hit with an attack with a finesse or ranged weapon if you have advantage on the attack roll. So I get an additional 46 to what I'm about to roll. Correct. And that is an upgrade now that you're level seven.

It was 3d6. I believe it just became 4d6 now that you're level 7. Also, I would have had this anyways because Mateen's within 5 feet. So, I don't know. Whatever. Let's just roll this. Let's get this bacon. Let's get a roll on. So, that's a net one. So, we're going to roll that again.

That's a 18. Critical fail. After all of that. Good job. I have advantage. Because Chip has advantage. But Chip has advantage because of his own ability. So that ends up being an 18. Okay. So I'll roll for damage. What'd you roll? That's a four, but that's just for the slashing. And then I get a 1d4 for the lightning. So that's a four. Where does the 4d6 come from? That's the lightning damage.

No, that's your sneak attack damage. Sorry, yes. That's your sneak attack. So I'm going to roll that now. That is a series of bad numbers. Nine. Yeah. Two ones. Yeah. Yeah. It's okay. It's okay. That's 13 damage. And then you had to do another one? Uh.

I think that's everything. Yeah. Okay. We're so good at this. Well, then, in that case... We're so good at this. I will also use cutting action, and I'm going to... Cut me. I'm going to... Action. I'm going to hide. Ooh, okay. Are you moving away or just staying right up there? I'm going to hide.

Oh, it does stay nearby. This thing had this thing where you made a loud noise and it would like spew blood at you. Is that, that was the fountain though that had that. Yes, that is correct. But I thought that's because it had the hemogoblin in it. Yeah, but that's how, since the hemogoblin was attacking through the fountain, that's the way it found you. Like it was like, you would make noise and it would attack at you. Oh, I forgot about that. Did that lighting damage do anything extra? Yeah, absolutely. Oh. Like, I guess. Straight face. Yes.

Gus is always at advantage on persuasion checks against Blaine. Do you want to roll stealth to go into hiding? Sure. Roll it, and I'll just make a note of it here for now. That's a 20 and a 16. We'll take the 20. I have advantage because of my sneakers. Yep. Roll me a perception check chip. Oh, yeah? That's a 20. There it is. Minus one 19. You see Carol. What? What? What? Huh?

Where? In the Hemogoblin. Really? What? And you see Lewis in there, too. What? Guys, guys, guys. Like Frost Giant? Yeah. The Hemogoblin. It's got my wife. She's in there. And that other guy. Did Weezer get hurt whenever we were attacking the Hemogoblin the last time, or was it, like, protected? I think he was protected. I think he was fine. Yeah, after we, like, finished up, he, like, kind of came out and was like...

Yeah. Just like, hey, hey, gang, let's not, like, stab too deep, alright? Because you might hit my wife. Aim for a limb that's not near my wife.

Are we able to see through the hemogoblin? It's like opaque. So it's like you can't constantly see Lewis and Carol. That's why I didn't say anything earlier. It's like they kind of like come up to the surface and then like, you know, go back in. Do you think it's like warm, like being in the womb as a baby? Maybe. Maybe it's very comfortable for them. All right, so I did the hide, but this is before I knew that that was in there. Otherwise, I would have used a bonus action and maybe like kind of reached in there and grabbed her out. But if that's too late, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

It's too late. Sorry. It's fine. You look really shooken up about that, Gus. I wish I'd said it earlier and I didn't plan it that way. We have fun here. We have fun here.

Oh, Elga, you're up. After Elga's the Hema Goblin, then Barney. I'm such a big fan of playing Gibson. So only Chip saw that Carol and... But he yelled it out. He screamed it out. My wife! Love for a chip, I'll take it! Rage. I would love to see Elga pull out just like a giant straw and like extend it. A telescoping straw. But yeah, I'm going to rage. Okay. Now, Elga would do it like a...

Jedi Knight coming out and then bringing out their lightsaber, just a straw. How far is the emo goblin from me? Not too far away. We'll say 20 feet. 20 feet, okay. You gonna go play Whack-A-Carol? Don't you dare. I won't do that. I am gonna run up to it, though. Okay. Right up on it. And then am I able to see Carol or Louis in there? Make a perception check. Here's hoping. Nat 20, 24. Dang, two nat 20 perception checks. Yeah, you see them both kind of floating relatively near the surface.

Okay. Her beauty shines through. The most opaque of all.

Thanks. The poetry ended. Some giant size seven feet. Yeah. Could I go to swing to where I'm not going to hit them? Oh, absolutely. Okay. I'm going to use my great acts of gaining for that. And then go slash. And that is a 15. That hits. Okay. You slashed it. Oh, and you have advantage anyway. Roll that one more time just to see if it crits. Yeah. It does not crit. Okay. But I rolled 12 points of damage.

And then... Oh, also when I Rage, I took the form of the Beast with the Tail. All right. Good to know. And then I'm going to do another attack. It's 14, but do I get advantage again? Yeah, you do still have advantage to roll that one more time. Okay. Oof. 12. Yeah. 14 does that, so you're good. During...

13 points of damage. Oh, wait. I get to add to... A rage. For both. So the first one would have been 14, and then this was 15. So it's another four points of damage total. Yeah. Okay. That's 13 on that one. Rage for bonus two attacks. You want to move anywhere? I...

I want to stay here. And I think it would be a bonus, but could I try to reach in to grab Carol? Or would that be a bonus? Can it be a free action? It would be a bonus, but why not? Let's give it a shot. Okay. I'm going to try to grab Carol. Make a, like a unarmed strike.

But like not too hard. Be gentle. Okay, I'll be very gentle. 16. Oh, sorry, 26. Oh man, that's really good. Yeah, I mean you see both Lewis and Carol, which one are you trying to grab? Carol. Okay, yeah. You reach in and grab Carol and make a...

Strength check. I'm going to do it opposed with the Hemogoblin, but I'm... Oh, wait, he automatically fails because of stun. Oh. Nice. Creature automatically fails. Yeah, I was going to give you advantage, but no, he's stunned, so he automatically fails that. Yeah, just make a strength check just in general to see if you're able to pull her weight out. 14. You have advantage preservation. On strength checks? Yeah, don't you? You said it so convincingly. Well, a 14 would be the higher roll, so 14.

Either way. Yeah, you're able to grab on and pull Carol out free from the hemogoblin. Carol! I see you!

She seems to be unconscious. Elga holds up Carol under the armpits and goes, is this your wife? My wife! It's my wife! Be so, so careful! She's so tiny! I know, but she's strong. How close was this to us casting the whenever we healed the dwarf? How much time has passed? Probably 20 minutes. Okay, never mind.

You have to climb up the trail always. And then since she's kind of covered in goo, I imagine, could I kind of like slide her a little like away? Like a curling? Yeah, yeah. Because I don't want her to be too close. I'm going to say no because you already had the extra action to pull her out. Okay, so I got it. She looks kind of like Neo when he's removed from the Matrix. He's got all the goo on him. Is she bald? I set her down just behind me if that's okay. Okay, yeah, that's fine.

That's it for Elga, I assume? It's the Hemogoblin's turn. Who is stunned. Who did that? I think he can still attack. Can he attack? They can attack when they're stunned? Oh wait, does moving? No, I think so. They're incapacitated, which means they can't take actions or reactions. I hate you. I'm sorry. It looks like he's got like a kidney stone, you know, because Louis is a big old rock ice guy. Got him.

Carol, are you sure this is the guy you want to be with? Hi, honey. No legendary resistance to make you angry with? I'm just going to start attaching that to every creature we fight. All right, yeah. I mean, the Hemogoblin can't do anything. Barney, it's your turn. Then after Barney, we go back up to the top to Matit. Yeah, we'll say that the... Wait, no, it's that the...

can speak only faltering. The hemogoblin goes, It did not catch that. Could you say that again? It's not quite coming through. Are you okay? I thought you spoke common. What is this? Speak back to it in its native tongue, Matita.

Barney, you're up then after Barney. Go back up to the top of Matide. Nothing. Barney's going to do... I'm going to do my spiritual weapon as my bonus action. I cast that, and that'll make a spiritual weapon in the form of Barney's angry fist. I think Gus said you couldn't do a fist. No, no, I couldn't do a whole cat is what we did. You did the paw initially. I did a cat paw, so I could do Barney's angry fist. Okay. And then...

And that punches at the Hemogoblin. Now, does this giant fist also have carpal tunnel? Or arthritis? Yeah. And that's... I shall roll for that. Wait, no. It would just hit him at advantage, right? Yes. Okay. This is like super mage hand. Eight fists. Eighteen. Wait, what was the first one? I already forgot. Seventeen. Okay, eighteen. Eighteen.

It hits. I will roll for it. That does seven points of damage. All right. And then with my turn, I shall cast. Wait, can you cast again? You cast virtual weapon. I can use a cantrip, right? Yeah, you can use a cantrip. Yeah.

So I'll use Toll the Dead. Ding dong! Who is it? And that is two... Oh, wait. I got to roll to see if it attacks. I already rolled my damage. It was 16. So I need to make a wisdom saving throw, DC 17. My wisdom is plus one, so I need a 16 or better. Mm-hmm.

No, I fail on strength and dexterity. No, I rolled a 14, which is a 15. So that fails. Yeah, so that should do 2d12. I rolled 2d8 and rolled 16. I'm okay with just leaving it at that because that's

I mean, it's... Can you not... Well, I mean, no, no, I can re-roll it. I rolled... You did 2d8, not 2d12. Right, because normally if the creature is undamaged, it takes 2d8. But if the creature has taken damage, it takes 2d12. He's gambling that he can't roll higher than 16 on 2d12. Let him roll 2d4 to make up. No, 2d12. No, no, because it's different. Because I could roll like two ones. He doesn't get to pick. Yeah.

So you're going to stick with the 16? Yeah, I still feel like that's... Dance with the one you know. It's still more than half. Can we treat this like Lucky where he can roll the D12? Nah, I think I got to go one way or the other. I'll stick with the 16. Roll me two D12. I just want to see what you would have got. Just for fun. Just for whatever. Yeah.

This is when the power goes out in the building. 19. Hey, you know... No, no, no. I committed. It was last week. He was so excited. No, we're sticking with 16. Yeah. You know, campaign one, Gus would have been like, it's okay, I understand. Now he's like...

No, no. I need to learn. I don't think so. We got to have rules. I rolled two eights. So I was like, that's pretty good for... Yeah. Anyway, the Hemogoblin wipes the party. It was three eights feet away from dying.

The end. The end of Stinky Dragon. Is that it for you, Barney? That is the end. Okay. That is the end. That is the end. All right. Up next, we're back to the top with Mateed. Then after Mateed is Chip. Barney got the egg. Hemogoblin is no longer stunned. At the end of your turn. So...

Still stunned through your turn. You should do it again. I'm going to start agree with the comment section. Matisse broken. Yeah, so when you hit with a melee weapon attack, you can spend one key point to make the target stunned until the end of your next turn if it feels a constitution saving throw. C'est magnifique. Then I will use my bonus action to cast Arms of the Astral Self. And I can use my specter arms to make unarmed strikes. But what does happen is that I get to do a little force damage as the arms protrude out.

When you cast Arms of the Astral Self, each creature of your choice that you can see within 10 feet of you must succeed in a deck saving throw of DC 14 or take 2d6 force damage. And I believe I automatically failed deck saving throws because of the stun status effect. That you do. All right. Ooh, that's a very good roll. 11. What kind of damage was that again? Force. Yeah.

All right. Since I'm up on it, I will go ahead and continue to use the Spear of the Superior Baker, and I'll just hit it. That's a 15. I just love how you have that weapon. Roll it again, just because you have advantage. I forgot about that. That's a 23. All right, yeah. You hit. I rolled 10 magical damage. And, you know, let's just be fun. Let's make that a stun strike again. This really shows, like, the evolution of the group, you know, now that we're facing them.

Yeah. That's sad. Because they've been stunned and not been able to use my new abilities. So DC con 14. Con 14. My DC is, or my con is plus three, so I need an 11 or better. Just stabbing this guy. Yeah. Big old spear. 19. So I successfully made the save.

Okay. I'm going to do another attack. Curses. Because that's what I do. I'm going to roll for advantage. That was a 23. That's a 24. That hits. That's 10 piercing damage. Ow. And that'll be it. Thank you.

Well, that was a ton of damage. The Hemogoblin is bloodied. What? Get it? Yeah, that's fair. What? Chip, you are up. Then after Chip is Elga. Okie dokie. And the Hemogoblin is no longer stunned. You didn't want to just do it again, Matita? I got to save some of my ki points. No.

Mateet's still within five feet. Yeah. Yeah, I'm still right there. Melee damage. Okay. So then I have sneak attack still. Would they be surprised if I'm coming out of hiding to attack them? Let me make a check to see if I'm able to see where you are. Good question. Do I need to roll an opposing? You already rolled your sneak. You had a 20 on it. Yes. And I'm going to make my roll here. I told you I was writing it down.

Yeah, you are successfully hidden. Cool. Then I'm going to use a swing, the arm blade of blurbling. Add advantage from your roll. That's a 16. Do I have advantage? Yeah, because of the sneak. Oh, right, right. 16. Yep, got it. I forgot he makes his own advantage. And then I think that this one... He's his own tiefling. That's a three for the, I think, piercing. And then I also get...

1d4 acid damage. That's an additional 2, plus I get 46. 46? 4d6. Oh. 46. That was really Gus going, stop, for sneak attack. That is 9. You pop out of hiding and take your attacks against the Hemogoblin using your arm blade of blurbling. Mm-hmm.

And you poke him in just the right spots to have him lose his shape and begin dissipating into the ground. How could I be defeated by such buffoons? This whole ploy was in vain. The tornado of blood collapses. I just imagine Chip just running steps on his face to just get to Carol. Doesn't listen. Jumps over Lewis. Runs straight to Carol. Chip.

Chip, are you there? Chip, I saved your life. I do a baseball slide in. I kind of like, sorry, kick out of the way and then just like catch Carol instead.

I say do you want- You kind of get kicked out of the way, Elga, but Louis, you know, also came out from the emo goblin behind you. Can I use my reaction? My tail reaction? You talk to Louis! And you kind of stumble backwards onto Louis. I kind of want Elga to oppose that, but we shouldn't. Carol, my sweet wife! Though her clothes are soaked in blood, Carol is ghastly white. Her frail body gaunt with throbbing green veins. She looks up at you with a hollow face. Hey there. It's you. Chipper.

Chip Haney. I said, "Hey there!" A weak smile comes across her face. You notice a sigil on her belt. Do I, uh, does Chip recognize the sigil? Why don't you roll a wisdom check? That's a 19, minus one, 18. With a roll that high, I'll tell you that you don't recognize the sigil, but because you don't recognize it, that's why it sticks out to you. This is something older than the knowledge of clan sigils that you know. You found me.

I'm so sorry for everything. It's up to you now, honey. Find she's complete my mission. I love you, Chip. Her feeble hand reaches up to touch your face, but it falls to the ground and her body exhales one final breath. Blaine, if you want to examine Carol and find out what happened, roll a medicine check.

On the next episode of Killing the Catra. Are you kidding me? No, she can't be. Barney, get a healing spell! Stat! Let's roll a Revivify! Thank you so much for listening, everybody. It was an eventful Between the Tales. Yeah! I was in tears at the end of the last episode. I am also in tears at the end of this episode. Oh, no. Are you crying, T-Pain? Yes! I'm in touch with my emotions. You're loud. That's very healthy. Thank you. All right, thanks for listening, everybody. Ugh.

purple garble stinky this episode is brought to you by our first members who are pretty awesome we got amazing little stinkers like gin collects orac 13 rose 8 one person one or roll for backflip 916 they all directly support the show and if you didn't know they get access to more content like second win they get to be on our subscriber only discord channels and attend our subscriber only events

and so much more. Again, you can find that all at stinkydragonpod.com slash first. We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this very stinky show. Listeners who interact with us on social media and Discord, they had NPCs named after them in this episode, like Charlie Graves, the weak-ankled dwarf. We got that from goshgollygraves on Reddit. Additionally, Carol Haney is voiced by Laura Rothemel at

Laura Rothemel and Hemogoblin the blood elemental is voiced by Mikey Spandex at Mikey Spandex 1992 the stinky dragon channel is managed by Ben Ernst this episode of tales from stinky dragon was produced by Kai Cook written and edited and composed by Micah Reisinger with additional editing work by David Saunier head on over to stinky dragon pod dot com slash first for all things stinky tune in next time for another thrilling episode of tales from the stinky dragon

I missed the fact that we didn't get to do a coffee cocktail because today I had a coffee experience that was very cool. I went to HEB and I became an adult because I used the coffee bean mixer. The actual grinder? Yeah, I've never done that. No, the mixer, apparently. But it was like, that's something I've always seen adults do. And I never, I was always afraid. It's a big, scary, loud machine. Big boy, B for blame, B for big boy. So I opened up a bag of beans, felt so wrong, poured it in. I'm an adult now. You did it before you purchased it?

Yeah, that's what you said. Gus, you ruined it. I had him. I realized it as soon as I said it. Audience, you couldn't hear this, but if you could, you would have heard Blaine's soul leaving his body.