C02 - Ep. 31 - Passé in Perrish - Astralian Arrival
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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

This is a Rooster Teeth production.

Jubilations, all you jammer leeches. Slither on into the stinky dragon, lap up our latest libation. Scatterdrained. It's a mixture of magical eye milk, spiked tentacle syrup, espresso overload, topped with a drizzle of physical...

topped with a drizzle of psychical sauce. Ooh, that's not a word. That tripped me up a little. One slurp of this strong stuff and you'll start to see that life doesn't suck so much.

Previously, our adventurers hastily escaped a horde of haglings and then learned that Louis the Frost Giant is also their ally, the Alchemist. Next, they made their way to the ghost town of Cru-on-d'Ormy and found Katrina holding the headless horseman's head. On top of that, the party was plane-shifted by a pussycat to another realm of existence. Draw yourself a drink, let's dive into this dank drama.

I love whenever you say dank. Dank. It just makes me so happy. Gus's vibrato's gotten really good. He really has control over the vocal cords. And now we can watch him do it, too. Oh, hello there.

Hello, everyone. My name is Gustavo Sorolla. I'm the dungeon master of our putrid party. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Take the shot. Take it. This week's role-playing warm-up question is... What's a character trait or flaw that you, the player, share with your character? Now, I know you all are flawless, but... If I had a flaw. If you had a flaw. Yeah. Hi, I'm Chris Damaris, and I play Barney Varney. And I would say...

Sometimes I build things up and get a little scary to make a plunge. What? I think we figured out the other thing is that you and Barney don't exactly... We don't like swimming. Is that what it is? What is it? What were you saying? I don't know. What do you think I was saying? I think it was just you were showing how you, Chris...

have a hard time explaining things sometimes. Let me translate. Chris builds things up in a way like he makes them more intimidating than they need to be and it makes it hard for him to like commit. Yeah, there's a decision. Oh, is that what the plunge meant in this case? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, roughly. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I speak a little Chris too. We sit next to it. We have desks next to each other. Yeah, we minored. I think Chris relies too heavily on both of you guys understanding him. I like it because it's like a secret language. And then he lets you translate and he goes, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's totally what I meant. I just want to know more about you, Chris. I just want to understand. Well, if you take Duolingo and... Is there a Chris course? I'm on my 4,000-day streak. That would get me into Duolingo. If there was something in my phone that would help me understand you... It's between Hivalarian and Klingon. Which are on Duolingo. Really? Not a joke. Ooh, now I want to learn that. Screw Japanese.

Okay. Thank you for sharing, Chris. Appreciate that. Hello. It is me, Elga Von Brath, your favorite character here back on the podcast yet another week. On the ones and twos. On the ones and twos. Chris blowing his volume the second I started doing my voice. Elga is a half elf vampire barbarian. And, you know, me and Elga don't share a lot of traits, I gotta say.

But I would have to say that if there's one that me and Barbara share. That's another turtle situation we got going on. Broccoli Barbara. I would say that both of us share our danger senses, you know, because we're both women. And women typically, you know, they trust your gut, the female intuitive instinct.

intuition, you know? We just know when danger is approaching and we just get that tickle in our stomach. That's not a character flaw. That's great. I like that you guys, I agree. Barbara has a great danger sense. Well, I believe the question was character trait or flaw. Yeah, that is true. I'm saying Barbara's a glass half full person. Blaine's a glass half empty person. Yeah, I guess so. Barbara also loves axes.

Big axe collection. I'm gonna make my next password Turtle Broccoli Barbara. I was drinking when you said that. I took a giant drink of my tea when Gus said that. I wasn't looking at you and it felt like my headphones were haunted by a little goblin. That's what happens when you try to laugh with a mouth full of juice.

I have like an unfunny normally with the arrows. I try to go funny with it, but I'll be genuine on this one. Who are you? I'm hey, Blaine Gibson, Chip Haney, Tiefling Rogue Six. And I would say that something that Chip and I share in common is that I think because we are, you know, a little goofier, a little Labrador retriever. What's the term? The retriever. No him bow.

We get that a lot. No himbo? What is this? Himbo. They said no himbo. We get a little bit of that, and I feel like people underestimate our intelligence because of that. It's like, oh, he's a goofball. He's a dum-dum. But, like, you know, I got a brain. Don't talk dumb to me. I smart good. I know smart goods. What's RSS stand for? Righteous. Royal. Stinky submarine. No, give me the real one. You know the real one. It was a really simple...

That's it. That's the S stands for I. He just learned it about 15 minutes before we started rolling. I was trying to set you up. I'm sorry. It wasn't really simple solutions. It was snake. Phoenix. You said it.

Is that really? Yeah, you did it. Oh my God. When you're not trying to think about it, you could say it just perfectly. I was just trying to say, uh, subscription syndication, really simple syndication. There you go. RSS. Go check it out. I think Blaine, you're extremely intelligent. And we were talking about it because if you're a first member, you get, uh,

ad-free Steaky Dragon on an RSS feed. Which is basically you could just add it to your Spotify or whatever podcast platform you're using. You don't have to use a different app or anything like that. And you get second wind with that so that it all comes up.

I love how empowered you guys feel now that you like have grasped RSS feeds. I like that. That feels like I've known RSS feeds my whole life. I'm going to say it. I think I took a bullet for the whole class because now you guys are all saying, I know everything I say sounds sarcastic and rude. I'm being genuine. I love that you guys feel empowered by that new knowledge. Yeah. This is the kind of knowledge that's really useful. This stinkuary, which we're in the middle of right now. Hey, Chris.

Happy Stinky Wren. Check out StinkyDragonPod.com. We're in a big push to get first members to help support this podcast and become our patrons. And you get stuff in exchange, for example, at free RSS feeds like they're just talking about. Discounts on merch. And available for everybody to watch. 10 days from when this releases, January 26th, we're doing a live stream from 9 to 5 Central Time at StinkyDragonPod.com slash live. We're going to do a big one-shot.

And come see our faces because apparently people don't know what we look like. Yeah. And are surprised every time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And speaking of surprise, surprise, I'm John Reisinger. Matty Confucius, who is an era-conquering ghost monk. And what was the question? What is the trait that I share with this? A trait or flaw?

Yeah. What is that? There's a, there's unfortunately a lot of John in my team. You can also see right through John. Yeah. Yeah. I'm an open book. Um,

No, I think Mateed and I are, I'm trying to pick one. I feel like I put a lot of me in every character I play. You love bread. Yes. Carbs. Let's go with that. Carbs. I'm a little happy kid when I get to eat food and eat treats and I like a donut. I like a baguette. I like a croissant. That's me. A bread goblin. Yep. But does Mateed like bread or do they just make it?

It's a good question. That's what the question was. What are you sharing in comment? They can both have a like of bread. Yeah. Because maybe Mateed likes it but doesn't eat it. I can like things and not smell it.

Well, I don't think that's a choice. I saw Chris's eyes go up and he licked his lips as he was processing. That's my new goal is just to try to confuse Chris. It was like watching a lizard gauge the distance to a fly.

Do people know you can't smell? Maybe they don't. I don't have a sense of smell or stinky community. Maybe that's what you have in common with Mateed. We can't smell? Yeah. In my head, Mateed can smell. It's very important for cooking and baking. We gotta see if something's burning. Yeah. Elga, you feel like something's in your bag. My bag? The bomb. You have a bag? Something's moving around in your pack. Yeah, I have a pack. Oh, okay. I guess where you pulled your rope out of. Oh, yeah.

Elga opens it up. You open up your bag and Jacques bursts out of your bag. He's got a piece of paper in his mouth. Can I read the paper? Yeah, he drops the paper to the ground and it unfolds in front of you, revealing it to be the Skytrap.

We found that at the museum thing, I think, a while ago. Okay. It's labeled... There were complications cooking the eclair. What does it mean? It means hidden temple of ecclesiastical monks. Jacques pounces on the sky chart, and boom, an enormous purple portal opens up above you all. You see and feel your bodies fall to the ground limp, or at least those of you who have bodies. But you

but your spirits remain floating in the air. Jacques looks up at you all with his feline face. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Soon, your spirits soar up into the purple portal.

That was a cool ending. Or a cool beginning. It's a cool beginning for the episode we're about to dive into. I'm admiring that there was the ending of the last podcast episode. That's a cool ending. That's a good ending. Good cliffhanger. Our show is cool. Everyone roll perception checks.

- Koi-ception. Hey, this is our first recording of 2024 and this is our first roll of our first recording of 2024. - This is gonna set the tone for the entire year. - I'm already at a minus one. That's a two. - I got a 23 for Elga. - Hey, I got a 10. I got a 10. - That's not a bad year. - It's a 50/50 year. - One. - Hey! All that buildup for that?

Guess who's 2024 is going to be awesome. So wait, we got a one? Well, he has a plus five, so it's a six. Oh, so six, two, ten. 23. All right. Barb wins 2024. There you go. Still a one. She's probably going to get married.

Wait a second. Those are terrible. Well, tell us what Elga sees and we can just... Normally we start from the bottom. I know, I know. Elga, we'll get to you last. I'm sorry. Chip and Barney, you're having a hard time taking in your surroundings because you're distracted by something you spot high above you that's see-through and it's really difficult to make out.

Wow.

Elga, with the great perception check. As always, Elga always has a good perception check, doesn't she? Don't jinx it. You can tell that not far in front of you is a bridge of white light crossing over pools of sparkling purple fluid that seems strangely familiar. And additionally, in the distance beyond the bridge, you hear a faint meow. Meow!

I feel like we're also hear Pink Floyd playing somewhere. You know, this is a little trippy. Wow. Are we sure we don't hear a meow? Or is it a meow? Or is it Jock actually speaking in a way we could hear him? No, you can definitely tell it is a meow. Wait. Okay. Oh, apparently this looks familiar. Didn't we run into a thing in, oh God, what was the Egypt's version of? Karkazook? Karkazook.

Didn't they like worship cats? Like cats were a big deal there? Yeah. Yeah, they had that cat mask. So I'm wondering if this has something to do with that. Like Jock has been like kind of a god this entire time. Chip, roll me a, let's call it a wisdom check. That's how I know when I'm onto something. It's because Gus is like, I want to see how much you remember. Let's pull that string. All right, wisdom, you said. That is... You were at the right screen. A. That's a save.

11. What is that? So if you roll a 12 as a check, what is that? You hit save. Saving throw. What's your check? It's at the top.

Okay. That's worse. I rolled a one minus one zero. We'll use the original one. It's a minus one. It is an 11. Yeah. It is an 11. Okay. We have completely forgotten how to D&D. The New Year wiped our memories. The factory reset. Professional D&D players. See, kids, don't let anyone hold you back from your dreams. You don't have to know anything that you're doing. So, Chip, you actually noticed that

floating above is a large translucent bag filled with all kinds of different belongings. Zuta Lars, we are in the bag of holdings. Santa! Are we in my bag of

Well, there's crossbow bolts, thieves tools. Oh, it's my bag. It sounds like it's your bum bag. Yeah, it's the bum bag of blurbing. No, no, no, that's my arm blade. Yeah, this is my bum bag. Oh, it's so warm in here. Barbara, you were totally right. No, that's gum gum. I know, I know. I started doing gum gum. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Oops, I gum gummed. We do have a limit to how much oxygen we have in here.

I'm freaking out, man. I can't breathe. Are we able to... Matisse smacks Chip back and forth. Poke yourself together. Do we see any type of zipper? No. Just a giant, like, enormous zipper. Okay, so above us we're seeing what seems to be floating belongings. Gustavo. Yes. And what did Elga hear? Where did Elga hear Kitty? I saw a white bridge that seemed to be above, like, pools of...

and then I think a cat meow from the other side of the bridge. Placing a bum bag of holding inside another extra dimensional space or similar magic item instantly disintegrates both items and opens the gate to the astral plane. So hopefully nothing like that's going on.

Uh-oh. Are we in the astral plane? That's a good question. My guess is maybe yes. Because we are spirits, right? Perhaps we should... Correct. We should head towards this white bridge over here. How do we get there? That bridge, just to clarify and build off of what you said there, Barbara, I think it was you who said it, like that bridge is above that purple fluid that I had mentioned earlier. Okay. And...

Like, is it high above it or is it like basically reachable from the bridge? It's reachable. Okay. Mateed walks that way. Can we walk? Are we floating? Are we floating? Oh, yeah. We are apart from your bodies. Yeah, it's very weird. You know, you realize that.

Since you're in spirit, even if you're, you know, a ghost and you're not used to having a corporeal form, this is very different. It's not the same as moving about typically. It seems like distance itself doesn't really have much meaning.

You can just kind of... Blaine's mouth is hanging agape. It's awesome. You can just kind of think about moving and your spirit... It's like when you're wearing a VR headset and you just click to where you want to move. Yeah. You don't teleport there instantly, like in VR headsets, but you begin moving there. All right, gamers, shall we go across the bridge? I want Elga as a Twitch streamer now. Thank you so much for

Well, thanks.

Thank you, cool boy 82. Thank you. That's very good. I teleport over and I'm like, oh, wow. I could be like a superhero, like some sort of stealthy knight crawler. Yeah, yeah, I could trademark that. Yeah, we head, at the very least, Mateed heads to that white bridge. So, Mateed, you all have a little bit of space between all of y'all. Y'all didn't, you know, appear to

in the same spot. Mateed, you're actually in the middle of the bridge. Elga's the one who's at the southern, what you would consider the southern end of the bridge, and so the bridge is before her, and then Chip and Barney on either side, west and east from there. Red Rover, Red Rover, let Elga come over. But you just come to me instead. I teleport next to Elga. Again, you're not teleporting. You just kind of move

You've kind of flowed. Why don't I keep my eyes closed while you move and I'll be like, you're teleported.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Go next, Delga. Can we see the ends to this bridge? Yeah. Well, your perception check wasn't that great. You're just kind of distracted. Your eyes are kind of fixated up at all the contents floating in the sky. Can you gather them? Or the children? Boys, come to me. You're the one who saw things. They're wandering around. Grab the boys and head to the bridge. Come float your little bodies towards me.

I can't walk. You're doing great, Barney. Just think of being right next to me over here. I'm moving. Very good. I'm moving. I use my tail as a helicopter propeller and I just go. Barney, you in particular find moving here much easier than typical. Wow.

You're not encumbered by the weight of a human body. Oh, wow. Old age has not ravaged you down here. I haven't moved like this since I don't remember when. He has correct posture, so now he's like seven feet tall. There's no reason. It's just been an L this entire time. Mateed, I think I heard a cat, maybe Jack, maybe something else over that way. I looked that direction. I'm imagining...

Sorry, Charlie and Chuck. In fact, Charlie's grandpa, whenever they're... Wow, look at me, Charlie! I just watched that movie. That's probably a really good analogy. They better not be a big fan. Oh, no. Except you listening to the show, our biggest fans. I look towards the end of the bridge. You look towards the end of the bridge, and as your eyesight turns in that direction, your gaze passes across the purple fluid, and in the fluid, you feel like you see...

creatures floating, you know, looking back at you from there. What kind? It's hard to discern, but you see like three sets of eyes looking at you. Three pairs of eyes? Yeah.

Sorry, I realized I said "sense," which might be ambiguous. Uh, bonjour. Uh, there's no response. Chip, what did you have in your bag? I'm looking through here, and I have the Haggai. Uh, Haggai. I can't think of any other thing. This doesn't... Are we sure we are in his bag, right? Wait, is my bag on me? You really don't have...

any of your items with you. I'm in the nude. I must have fallen asleep. No, no, I'm butt naked. You have your clothing, but your other items don't seem to be with you. Okay. This doesn't feel like it is just my bag. It feels like a combination of multiple things. Maybe my bag...

connects to another large like bag of holding space like it was a shared communal space like a cult closet if you will I with Mateed's familiarity with the ethereal plane would that aid Mateed in understanding a little bit of this place a little bit more maybe having some intuition as to what we're experiencing yeah let's see here Mateed roll me let's call it a let's just call it an intelligence check

Rarely roll these. 14. Not bad. Smartest one of all of us, probably. Yeah. Plus one. It definitely seems like some other kind of plane. It's not the ethereal plane. You know that for certain. Sure. But this does seem some kind of like planar adjacent.

How far did those sets of eyes feel from me? You look again to try to gauge the distance and they're gone. Oh, okay. And if I look towards the other end of the bridge, opposite of these chuckleheads, what do I see? Yeah, on the other end of the bridge... Based off of Elga pointing out that Jacques may be over there. You see like some stone stairs rising up into a building that's supported by some columns. Everything seems to be a little dilapidated.

Okay. So there's stairs up to a building. Yeah. Okay. And then there's purple goo on the other side? Underneath. Underneath. Y'all are on the bridge, and the bridge is taking you over the purple goo. Think of Seoul.

Think of the beginning of soul. Yeah. Can we reach the purple goo? Can I dip my tail in there? Yeah. Why not? That's how Chip lost his tail. I just dipped it a little pointy end of my lip. Very rapidly. It just decays. I'm thinking of Hercules. Oh, yeah. I dipped the tip of my little devil tail in there. Sure. Have the tip of your devil tail roll a wisdom saving throw. But just the tip of your tail.

Wisdom saving. Minus one. That is a 13. You fall to the ground, unmoving. Oh, no. On the bridge or into the goo? No, on the bridge. From everyone else's perspective, Chip is taking a nap. Can I go over to try to help him? Yeah. He's just, he's sawing logs. He's snoring. What do you do?

That looks nice. Could I try to step on his tail? Sure, but before I resolve that, Chip, you start seeing something. You start having a dream. And actually, right before you step on the tail, Elga, you see this dream starting to manifest above Chip's body. It's the purple goo that makes you dream that we saw in the cave. Did I bottle that up? I bottled it up and I put some on the... I am wildly impressed that you remember this. He did. He used it a couple episodes ago, I think. Yeah.

I want more. Chip, you see a hideous green hag prone on the ground with a bloody lip. She looks up and two white haired people are there with their backs to the two of you. The green hag on the ground is mouthing something. It's one word, but it's hard to make out. She's saying she teeth. She teeth. Maybe wreath? Doesn't make sense. And then everyone else sees, you know, like a

a very simplistic version of this. And so then do we, is the green hag recognizable? Uh, yeah, you all recognize the, uh, the green hag as being Shivey. And Shivey's bloodied lip? Is that what you described? Yes. I lay down next to her face to face and I say, hey there, are you awake? And right as you do that, uh, you feel a sharp pain in your tail. Oh! Ch-ch-ch-ch!

Chip, wake up, wake up. There are nerve endings in the tail. Please. Okay, he's up. I fixed it. That was the worst chicken impression I've ever seen.

That's a good Arrested Development reference. That's pretty good. I'd like to move towards the building since you keep getting mad when I say step. Yeah, let's move there. I want to re-bottle some of that purple stuff. Okay. But does that mean you have to touch it? Oh, wait. You don't have your stuff with you, though. Oh, shoot.

Never mind. Look up your hands together. Yeah. He's going to go into a slumber. All right. Just drink a little bit and save it in your mouth. No, no, no, no. I want to see what he dreams about. Yeah, let's get Barney some. I'll do May Shannon to carry around with me a little handful of purple dirt. How long can you concentrate on May Shannon? Let's see here. One minute. But...

But hold it above your head. We're on the clock, everybody. We gotta go. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Make it hover directly above your head. Okay. Wait, Mage Hand's a cantrip. Yeah. Could you just keep holding Mage Hand up high, and then when it runs out, you do another one. Do another one? Yeah, that's a great idea. Gus, can you do that? I can do that.

You just can't do anything breaking concentration or any concentration spells for the duration of us in this plane. Or we can, and we see what happens. I'm going to do that, but have it like ahead of us and up above us in the sky. So it's like this flying hand carrying purple goo. Gus, did I make your job easier by suggesting that? I'm having to Google so many things right now. Now, Barney, Barney, don't get distracted, Barney. Barney, pay attention, Barney. Be quiet. Barney. Keep focusing. Yeah.

How far can I teleport? Again, there's no teleporting. No, I'm just asking, how far can I change position? Matias, don't you want to be our friend, Matias? Aren't you having such a great time here in the non-ethereal plane? Is there anything around I could put it in? You can't say plane without playing. Not really. I mean, there are some...

you know, what you think would be like trees or vegetation, but it's all very wispy. All right. Well then I stick to my, I would say ethereally, but I don't want you. It's not the ethereal. Yeah.

I stick to my mage hand plan. Do we get a long rest? No. No. Okay. A long rest would be real nice at some point. You know, I'm just asking. It doesn't hurt. Worst you could say is no. Could I, could Elga tell if she's like getting a little like out of breath or anything like that? Elga does not seem to be getting out of breath. No. Okay. Okay.

Okay. So we got the goo. We've resolved that he's now going to try and hold. He's doing his mage hand goo. You never run out of cantrips? You can keep casting them? Yeah. Okay. Then I would like to make way towards this building. Okay. Is there a door? Is anyone else going or is it just Matide for now? I am also going. I'll go. I think we're all going. Okay. You reach the other side of the bridge and out from the building, Jacques the cat jumps out and rubs against Matide's leg.

His orange fur begins to radiate with turquoise light pulsating brighter and brighter until the fluorescent feline transforms into an astral spirit of an Aarakocra. What is a bird as well? They're dressed in ornamental robes and wearing cotton wraps around their hands and talons. G'day, Mateed. It's been a long time.

Who are you? Mateed, why don't you make a history check with advantage? Mateed, no shock all along. Mateed, who is that? Who is that, Mateed? You having fun over there? Nat 2021.

That's with advantage, right? Yeah. Did you have any visions on the way over? Do you mean like dreams? Yeah. Oh, is it dreams or is it visions? Little column A, little column B. I dreamed that there was a person on the floor. There's a person on the floor and there's two white haired people. There's a hideous hag. There's a bloody lip.

And they were trying to say something, right? Maybe the white-haired people mugged the lady and gave her a bloody lip. She-wreath? What was the name? She-teeth or she-wreath? She-teeth or she-wreath. Was it because he was lip-reading? Right, right. I think they were asking for a Heath bar. Chip Haney, by the way, pleasure to meet you. Who are you? So, jumping back to your role there, Mateed. Thank you. You recall...

a time in your life before you died. You had traveled to a distant dojo called Le Temple Caché des Moines Ecclesiastru. Oh, like the sky chart. Exactly. To practice the forms and techniques of an ancient martial art, Ecclesiastra.

So I'm recalling this. Yeah. And I visited that temple. Right. Before your passing. Okay. And you remember this Arakokra before you as your sensei, the person who taught you. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Hey there, senpai. I'm having like a critic and a Ratatouille moment of like that Russian. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You remember quite a while ago now, actually, when you were riding aboard the Grotesque Express, you know, you had that.

You were training and getting new abilities and there was a ghostly Arakokra working with you. Callback. I gotta re-listen to that episode. Teaching you techniques and humming to themselves and kind of imitated and followed your moves as you were learning new things. And your spirit's in a cat.

That's cool. Why are you, uh, why have you been appearing as a little color shifting kitty? You may recall we once knew each other in a past life, but it seems only fitting that we became reacquainted once more in the afterlife.

Oh. Oh.

And well, it seems we were destined to travel together. I brought you all to Australia for a reason. Australia. I think it's time, Mateed. Time you finished your training. Wait, are we in Australia right now? That's why everything's upside down.

Oh, crikey. Oh, yeah. There was the sea above and the sky below. I know we're going to change your voice to whoever Jacques is. Say Jacques. Jacques. Oh, no. Well, his name is Jack. Jack. Oh.

Oh. But the cat's name is Jacques. Yeah. Wait, really quick. So when he's in cat form, he's Jacques. When he's in ghost Eric Cochran form, he's Jacques. Jacques, a pursuit. I like to think that Matisse pronounces it Jacques because you're French. Maybe. Yeah. Is Jacques the cat still there? No. Okay. Because it's turned into this astral god. Did you call it? No, I don't think I said god, but astral being.

In Australia. So the Aarakocran Jack...

is not getting into the body of a cat. It is the cat itself, right? Correct. Went on like the corporeal like plane? Correct. Well, material, they would call it. Material. I didn't introduce myself, but I guess we've been, Jacques has been with us the whole time. You should do it just to be careful. I think Jacques has seen you pee before, Chip. Yeah, Jacques, I got a lot of spleen and doo-doo, you know, like I thought she was a cat and, uh,

Wow. If I had known that you were this cool sensei, I would have changed a lot of my behaviors. I am so, so sorry. Just one of those moments where like you learn something, you're just rethinking of everything you did before you learned that thing. Yeah, like when you're pooping and your cat walks in on you and you're just like, yeah, it's just a cat. What's it going to know? When you were meowing for me to let you out of the bathroom when I was taking a poop and I was like, oh, look, it's talking to me. I didn't know. I bow deeply. I bow very, very deeply.

Can he roll for bow? Yeah, roll... Performance? What is that? Yeah, let's call it performance. So deep. The deepest bow. Such a deep bow. Ten. It's okay. Jack gives you kind of a knowing look. Yeah. Well, I share that knowing look back. Yeah, I know.

Well, he claps his hands together in front of his chest and a bamboo forest springs up behind him. Hidden amongst the swaying foliage, you see a misty building with curved and tiled roof dripping with dew. Welcome back, my friend, to Le Temple Caché des Moines Ecclesiastra. Now say that ten times fast. No. Jack begins leading you through the oscillating bamboo forest and through the gates of the outdoor temple.

Hey little stinkers, just Jon here today, your resident curmudgeonly bisexual, wanting to talk to you about what some people call January. I call it Stinkuary, that's its official name if you didn't know. It's the month where we're trying to raise awareness about our patrons. We call them first members. They're the people that pay us just a little bit of money every month

to play with dice professionally and puppets professionally. And I'd like you to become one if you're not one already because we need as many of you as possible to keep being able to make this show, to keep being able to do more with this show, to make as much stinky stuff as possible. We got all kinds of plans we want to do this year. We want to do these exclusive mini adventures run by people other than

Gus and Chris who've gotten to run them before. I want to do one. I'll give you a hint as to what theme I want to do mine based off. It starts off with the letter X and ends with something that rhymes with

Anyways, we want to do that. I also want to make some second wind episodes for Infinite Campaign. Would love to tell you how we made that campaign and go a deep dive episode by episode. But we can only do that if you become a first member. And if you become a first member, you don't just get to support the show. You also get a bunch of cool stuff. You get like ad-free content at stinkydragonpaw.com. Almost messed up our own URL right there.

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Gus wanted to make it stinky. We couldn't figure it out logistically. Maybe next time, but you can still buy the tote bag if you're a first member. You can also gift first membership to your friends. You can surprise your meemaw, your mamu, your mama. What do you call your grandma? We call ours a meemie.

Anyways, you can give your Mimi a first membership if you want. I hear they love Stinky Dragon. And then all this is going to culminate in January 26th with a big old honking eight-hour D&D stream live, live on the internet. It's going to be so much fun. I'm excited about it. We've been making big plans for it, and we're going to be going for a long time and having fun with you and driving even more first memberships. So please go to stinkydragonpod.com slash first, become a first member. We could not do this show without your support.

We appreciate you being listeners and I appreciate you just being you because I think you're pretty awesome. Merch? Merch. Who said merch? I said merch. We got new merch in the store and I want to tell you all about it. We got Stinky Dragon Dice Tray coming out January 19th. You could put dice in it. You could roll dice in it. I think you could probably feed a pet

from it. I'm pretty sure it would hold kibble. If you do any of those things and post a picture on the internet and I see it, I will like it. I think it'd be pretty cool. I'd love to see a cute little kitty eating some food out of the dice tray. We've also got a new shirt made for GumGum, made by GumGum. No, it's for GumGum, by GumGum, and of GumGum. It's all about flower power. It's pretty awesome. So get that and check it all out at StinkyDragonPod.com slash store. Thank you.

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Are we all there? Yeah. Okay. Is Stinky there? Stinker. Sorry, is Stinker there? Oh, your dog. Yeah, Stinker would be there. I like to think Stinker would be floating around, really, like, not touching the floor, kind of tumbling very slowly on a...

Is it safe to say that Stinker will act like Jacques was acting with me, that wherever Barney is going, Stinker's going unless said otherwise? Yes, Stinker is following. Despite Barney's objections, Stinker seems to be following him very lovingly. Can I go to Stinker? Yeah, sure. Stinker. Are you a cat? Are you a bird, too? No.

Are you a bird? Reveal yourself. It's just Barney going up to Stinker and opening up Stinker's mouth like, is there a bird in there? Show yourself. Are you a bird? Be honest. Do you want me to do Stinker's response? Yeah, sure. That's pretty good. That's like Randy Serkis. Oh, yeah. Little inside joke from one of our social videos. Yeah. Stinker begins nibbling at his back leg. Okay. Undetermined. Mm-hmm.

Why is this happening right now? Why have you brought us to see Australia plane? And why do I need to do more training? I'm pretty perfect. Because you already...

Now's the time. You weren't ready before, but now you are. Okay. As you all are walking and talking, you know, Jacques bows to other monks and continues leading you deeper into the temple, into an open courtyard that is less crowded. In the center is a flourishing tree, and along the grounds are oval-shaped nuts. Jacques rubs his hands together until they glow with floating turquoise flames, and he reaches out towards you all. May I?

I high five. Why not? I don't know what you're doing, but for some reason I innately trust you, so please go right ahead. Chip is the guy that he goes to like a really, really fancy dinner and they bring out like the little bowl that's supposed to be for like dipping your hands in. He just slurps it down. He's like, I have another. Delicious. My favorite. Well, I like that Elga's intuition is letting her agree that this is an okay thing. Yeah, I trust you.

For some reason. What sort of motion is Jack making? He rubbed his hands together so they glow with these turquoise flames and he's just kind of reaching out. His hands are just like palms open in front of you. Okay, I mimic it. Yeah, and then Chip goes...

Patty cake. Patty cake. Barney? Okay. Jacques touches each of you except for Chip who high fives him and plays patty cake with him apparently. For the rest of you he touches you all on the shoulder with his turquoise hands and you all instantly gain a short rest. Short? Is that the

I'm a pretty lame monk, if you had to ask me. Well, Jacques just bows to you, Elga. Bows deeply to you and smiles at Matide. Is that a knowing wink of you giving me a long rest instead? I see you rolled some hit dice. What are you doing over here? It's part of the short rest.

Yeah, I rolled the perfect amount to bring back the max HP. I will say, you regained these without having to expend those hit dice from a metagame perspective. It's a special short rest. Yeah. Almost like he knew something, right? It's a medium rest. Magic food. Now, shall we resume your training?

But of course, let's go. Excellent. Jack bows to you and leads all of you down a set of stairs down a narrow stone path towards the tree. As the path narrows, it's banked by aqueducts of the sparkling purple fluid you encountered earlier. Beyond the ducts are more trees, much younger and shorter.

This first exercise will focus on defending oneself from incoming attacks by channeling one's ki. Mateed, your friends will surround you on all sides and engage you with the ticks of their own choosing.

Your task is to protect yourself using your ki, be it deflecting projectiles, stoning opponents, channeling your astral self, etc. What's a training montage happening here? So Jack points to an almond tree for you to stand at, Mateed. Oh, that's the oval nuts? Oval nuts. Correct. Oh, okay. Drink your oval nuts. I walk over to the tree, the almond tree. Yeah, everyone roll initiative. Oh.

Oh, wow. Wait. This will be fun. We're fighting? Yeah. Why not? Oh, the tree. Elgo becomes one of those little NPCs in one of the Mortal Kombat games. Show me your moves. It's just da-da-da. 21. Da-da-da. 13 for Elgo. Nat 20, 24. 16. That'll be my only good roll. Blaine, just letting you know. Actually, I rolled two Nat 20s this session. Yeah, you have. Which really means I'm using up my Nat 20 luck. It's a good year for you.

Alright, so, Mateed, I mean, you had the best roll. You are surrounded on three sides by your party members. Okay. Oh, and I forgot to mention, at this point, your weapons, which you normally use for fighting, reappear on yourself. Okay, cool. For everyone. Great. They're surrounding me. How far apart are they from me? Let's call it 25 feet in each direction. Okay. Okay.

Well, Matid would obviously, I would have to go attack the most powerful one of the group first. All right, bring it on. It's okay. I understand. And I go straight at Elga. Okay. Matid.

I don't want to hurt you. It's okay. I can take it. Mateed wants to hurt you, though. That changes things. So Mateed's attacking us. Yeah. And are we using anything to defend ourselves or just... You have your weapons and things you would normally use in combat. Okay. And we have that stuff now. Yeah.

So I'm going to attack with my spear of superior baker. Ooh. Which lands. That's a nat 20. That's a crit. Oh, my God. Matita's just rich with 20s today. Loaded dice. Matita.

Why do you have to do me like this? 29. Crit. Hit. I don't know if that hits. I'm pretty sure that does. It hits. It hits. And so I'm going to roll and you're going to translate this to how it's supposed to be, Gus. Yeah. I rolled a... Oh, it worked out because one of them was a six. Oh, there you go. So 17 piercing damage. Almost max. Yeah. For a crit. And if I recall correctly... Actually, hold on. I take a...

I think that should actually be 18, because the way I normally do it is I remove the lowest damage die and replace that with the six. -Negative 18. -It should be 18. -Wow. -I'm going to spend a key point to do a Stunning Strike. Then, Elga, could you please make a Constitution saving throw? DC save of 14.

You got it. I got a 19. Okay, then you save and so you're fine. Okay, thank you. But I will do it again. Do I take that damage, by the way? Yeah, go ahead and write it down. Oh, actually, yeah. Sorry, I got a turn. Write it down or just actually put it, implement it. Yeah, implement it. Okay, so it was 18 points? Yeah. Good thing we short-rested. I rolled a 19 that time, so 28.

Smart. That will do nine points of damage. Okay. And it's another stunning strike, which I think I can keep doing that. It doesn't have a limiter. When you hit with a melee attack. As long as you, does it take key points or anything? One key point. So I'll use it as a key point. I think as long as you have key points. What key points do you got there? You worry about you. Now this is your training. You can also worry about Elga right now. So yeah, con saving? Anything for you, my deet.

Okay, cool. Good job. And then I know I'm burning through a bunch, but I'm going to go ahead and use my bonus action to spend it to have patient defense. I take the dodge action as a bonus action on my turn. And if I recall, I do that now. And then if they attack me, I get to use that. I've not ever used this correctly or at all. So is it basically like using a way to get away without invoking an attack of opportunity? I can use it.

A dodge. Right. So, yeah, you are using it correctly. So basically you declare dodge as your bonus action like you just did right now. I declare dodge. So until the start of your next turn, any attack roll made against you has disadvantage. Oh, perfect. Wow. There are some asterisks, which is if you can see the attacker, which unless I assume you all, we will be able to see all of them. Unless they're hidden. Maybe not the rogue. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I hear him. He's giggling. No, I'm not. Yeah, so I do that. So that's the end of my turn. Okay. Chip Haney. Hey there. Pleasure to meet you. It's Chip. I'm a rogue. I'm going to come up and I'm going to stab you. It's arm blade of blurbling. So I roll this at disadvantage, I'm assuming, because you're doing the dodge? Yeah. Okay. And that's for all of our attacks, right? All attacks. That's a 13. You miss. Well...

Then, in that case, I am going to... I don't know if you can get this along or I should have some luck. You can really make this something funnier.

Then I'm going to just use cunning action, and I'm going to hide. I'm going to sneak away. Okay. You shrink into the darkness. So long. It's just Chip running by, whiffing, and then just keeps running and hides. I take a knife thing, I miss, and then I go, and then I put it in your ear, and then I run away.

Barney. Well, I want to drop my... Oh, wait. Yeah, that's right. If you keep... I'm sorry. If you keep running by... Well, he has to... Oh, wait. You would be open... He disengages to hide, right?

Did you disengage? Yeah, well, it's cunning action, so I can take a bonus action of your turn to dash, disengage, or hide. Oh, you can either hide or disengage. Then I will disengage and max out my distance. Okay, there we go. Rogue six, disengaging. Blaine like that. Blaine like that. I'm sorry, Chris. If Blaine was the dungeon mister right now, you'd have so much inspiration dice.

So now, do we have inspiration now? Your cantrip of your mage hand is really going to become a problem. No, it drops. I release it and it drops on Mateed. Always trying to break the game, huh? Yeah, so you move your mage hand and then you try to drop it. But they're training. Go ahead and we still have to resolve something. He still has the dodge. So make a touch attack with disadvantage. Okay.

17 and 20, or 17. 17. If it matches? It does match, which I... I think it means he succeeds? No, I think he succeeds? Yeah, it does succeed if it matches. The purple fluid falls down, and it seems like it would touch you, but it just seems to harm... At this point, it just harmlessly passes right through you and splashes on the floor. Oh. Well, all right. Ain't that a kick in the pants. I don't think I wear pants. And we're just fighting otherwise? Yeah. Yeah.

Then I guess I'm going to... Secret Flame Boom. Secret Flame Boom? Secret Flame Boom. It's a well-known Dungeons & Dragons spell. Secret Flame. It's my... What's it do?

Tell us. Oh, yes. It's just Chris. Sorry, there's a lot waiting for us. Flame-like radiance descends on a creature that you can see within range. The target must succeed a dexterity saving throw or take 1d8 radiant damage. The target gains no benefit from cover for this saving throw. So Mateed needs to make a dexterity saving throw DC 17. Oh, it increases by 1d8 when you reach 5th level.

I'm fifth level. Oh yeah, if you look on your character sheet for the damage, it has 2d8 over there now. Wow. Neato. Okay, it was a dex save? 17. Best of luck, Mateed. I do hope you lose though, because we want to win. 20. Yeah, Mateed is able to dodge out of the way of this holy fire. Secret flame bomb is super unaffected.

And then can I use my bonus action to shove Matita away? Oh, so you come up to me? Because I went to Elga, so there's a distance to go. Oh, no, no. I was using my mage hand thing. So you cast it? Well, I released the one that was already cast. I just, like, stopped it. Well, then can I ask what that count is? Some sort of... Yeah, was that a bonus action? Yeah, I was going to say that would eat up the bonus action. Okay, well, then never mind. Then I will...

Where's, what's, where's, they're all far away. I guess I'll stay here and chill. I'll get defense. I'll get it. I'll look for a defensive position. Barney cast chill. Hello, fellow kids. Yo. Barney in my head turns into me when I had to play outfield in little league, which is you just start playing with the stuff on the ground because you're so far away from everybody. You can put your, your, your mid on your head and your face. And then whenever the ball rolls past you and everyone yells, you're like, what? What?

I used to play with my parents. I see we had shared experiences. My parents would get mad at me because I was always in right field and I would play with my zipper because I was so bored. I'd always be like lowering it or raising it. So they'd be screaming at me to stop. And I'd be like, what? I'm just bored out here. It's one of the worst positions to play when you're that young. To stop. To stop. I played first base.

That's a lot of action. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I'll take a lot of responsibility. There's a lot of trees in the area. You could try to hide behind there. I'll hide behind a tree. Are they where the trees past the aqueducts? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So he has he's crossing the aqueducts and going behind. He's already kind of in that direction because he was already 25 feet away. How many feet?

Oh my god. I don't want to be here anymore. Oh no. I'm way less scared of Matisse than I am of whatever that was. Can we be training Barney now? I want that isolated as my text alert anytime Chris texts me. I'm gonna find me. I think it's gonna be used in the new Saw movie. Do you wanna play a little game? Okay.

Yucky. Hey, stinker. We all float down here. Yeah. It's very Pennywise. Thanks, David. David's the one who made that joke. Elga.

We have to do it to them. Elga puts her hands together. We have to do it to them. Meme. Oh, yeah. You cracking? Yeah. Mateed, I just want you to know whatever happens here stays in Australia. Okay? That's the rule about Australia. Elga takes out her axe of the scarab and swings it at Mateed. Da-da-da-da-da.

That's not the right one. Wait, I can't tell if that was Gus making a joke or that was an actual mistake. And I want to use my inspiration die because I missed. Are you raging? I can't rage. I have no more. It's only a 13. Miss. With your inspiration dice? Yeah.

I failed the first one, and then I got an 11 in the first one, and 13 with my inspiration die. So I miss. You do two attacks, right? Which I'm going to do again. Cool. Swing, and oh, my God. I rolled another four. Okay, good. Make a joke, and then Gus will give you an inspiration die. All right, here we go. Quick, quick. Make him laugh. Broccoli. Come on, Gus. That's okay. No, no such luck. I miss. So I guess that's all I could do. Yeah.

You know what, guys? I'm someone who doesn't have a lot of confidence, and I'm really down on myself. I really appreciate you guys giving me such a good round of just completely missing me. We're doing it for you. I needed this confidence booster. Whatever happens after this, I like this moment. On top of it, I just realized Elga should have been rolling with disadvantage, too, but it doesn't matter because she's still missed regardless.

You're lucky. Let's see if she gets critical fails. Oh, yeah. Roll 2d20 there, Elgin. Well, should I get my inspiration die back then? Yeah, if you want, because we could say the first one was already with disadvantage. So just roll 1d20 and get your inspiration die back. Here's that d20 coming in hot.

It's a six. No. Okay, cool. But as my bonus action before I end my terrible, stupid turn, I'm going to cast Hunter's Mark on Mateed. What's that do? You choose a creature you can see within range and mystically mark it as your quarry. Until the spell ends, you deal an extra 1d6 damage to the target whenever you hit with a weapon attack, and you have advantage on any wisdom attacks.

like perception or wisdom survival check you make to find it. Oh, okay. If the target drops to zero hit points before the spell ends, which I don't think you will, you could use a bonus action on a subsequent turn of yours to mark a new creature. That sounds like that's really advantageous to use against a rogue who's hiding.

Could be. I was starting to think of the wisdom check. Because if I want to find, well, he disengaged. He didn't hide. But if he'd hidden, I would have had to perception check succeed to get him. This is before I knew there was trees. So I would have gone behind cover, but there's the ropes. It's also in general, just like the name implies Hunter's Mark. Like if you're tracking a beast of some kind. That is trying to escape. Right. Gotcha. So I cast that on Mateed. All right.

That's my turn. In World of Warcraft, you would have a giant red arrow pointing down at him. Yeah, that's what I think of. That's what I think of too. We're the wow boys. All right, we're back to the top. Mateed. Okay. See, I like you so much. I didn't hit you at all. Yeah, we're just nerfing our abilities because we love you.

Love. You're lucky my secret trap didn't work. Come find me. Otherwise, you'd be sleeping. So, you disengaged. You're not next to me. Yeah. You went far away. I was already far away. Yeah. I thought you went further. Yeah, he never got any closer. Yeah, I'm in the trees. And so, you're still in front of me. All right. But I bet you can't get me. Dance with the one you're with. Let's fight. Boo. Face me, coward. Boo.

Elga starts doing jazz hands. No, no taunting. Wait, does... I'm taunting. You're taunting? Yeah. He's taunting. Stinky bird. Yeah, how does Chip taunt? I go, what are you? Are you an air cocker or are you a chicken? Bawk, bawk, bawk. Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip. I'm trying to see... Nuclear bomb. Okay. Uh...

I use... Since we're... If we're going to play in character and you're going to be doing that, I'm going to spend a key point and use Step of the Wind. Ooh. Ooh.

Does that mean you fart? You can spend a key point to take the disengage or dash action as a bonus action on your turn, and your jump distance is doubled for the turn. Okay. I'm going to disengage from Elga, and I'm going to go hack off a piece of rogue. Thank you, Chip, but it's okay. You disengaged. How far away did you get? I max distanced, and if my walking speed is 40, then 40. My flight speed is farther than that, so I'll fly to him. Okay. Okay.

I'm assuming we're abiding by those kinds of things. Incoming! So, now that we're in rounds and you're in combat, when you tried to move away, or when you moved away, I should say, Chip, you actually ended up moving further than you expected. Oh. You moved about 45 feet away. Whoa. My flight speed's farther than that. Yeah. Mateed, however, when you try to walk or fly, 45 feet is like the blink of an eye. It's like nothing to you. Oh. I thought you were going to set me up like, you didn't move at all. I thought so, too. I went like...

*Gasps* He got so- He's like, "Gus is about to save me!" "Gus is not saving me!" You could go there and back in the- No problem. Okay, then yeah, I'll do that to go at Chip, and then now that I'm up on his business, I'm reacquainting myself with this weapon. *Sings*

What's Jack doing in all of this? Is he just watching? Just watching with arms crossed. Okay. Sure. I'm going to use harvest on my spear of the superior baker. In fact, like visually, I'm going to come right up on Chip and just tower over him.

And I say, bonjour. And I slam the Spears Spear Baker on the ground. Let's say like, just kind of like throw it on the ground, like in front of me. And I say, prepare for pain.

Like bread? I was going to say bread. And we're far enough away that he'd be the only one that's prox, so can you make me a deck saving throw? I think Matisse is enjoying this too much. I think John's enjoying this too much. I'm waiting for the shoe to drop and for me to be floored. I'm waiting for that because I'm going to run out of stuff. Okay, dexterity saving throw. How do you have some? That's a 24. A lot of my stuff is just about...

like unarmed like just attacks like melee. But you don't run out of I will run out of ki. I'm burning through ki. I was pretty much already out of spells when we started. I'm burning through my ki. 24. Dexterity. I don't even know what the save is but I'm assuming that I'll do it. It's a DC where was it? I just saw it. It's my ki DC but it doesn't show me what that is but I doubt it's 24. Not a real word.

Key DC? It's a DC 14. Okay, cool. Yeah, thank you, Micah, for pointing it out. Yeah, it's in the key section under your features and traits. Then he still takes six points of... Piercing. Piercing. Piercing. Okay, I'm going to use Uncanny Dodge. When an attacker that you can see hits you with an attack, you can use your reaction to half the attack's damage against you. Your...

Reaction. Reaction. He uses reaction. Yeah. Wait, how many attacks do you have? You have two? I did not. That's a good question. What was your roll? Wait, does this require a roll? Yeah, you take six points of damage. Yeah, you rolled the dexterity save. Because I have something else that I could make their roll at disadvantage if I wanted to. Oh, no, he didn't make an attack roll. You rolled to save. You did a save. Got it. And I passed it, but I still get six points of damage.

Got it. Okay, I'll take six. Okay. Rogue six, taking six. Rogue six, taking six. Ow. Is that all you got, Mateed? Come on. It is not. Oh. Mateed's pretty OP is what I'm learning here. I mean, I've only done six damage to him. I've not done much damage to you guys. I'm fine, gang. Take a long rest. I got it under control.

If I did like a perception check right now, I would just see like a little bead of sweat rolling down. Chips. Survive for Carol. Live for Carol. Do it for Carol. Just do another. I'm going to do the exact same thing because I can do it twice per long rest. Do it. So another deck. Another deck. Dexterity saving throw. Yeah.

That's a 16. You made it. That saves. Yeah? Yep. Okay. And you take three points of damage. Okay. So not much. Way to chip away at my own. Hey. We have fun here. Okay. That's attack, attack, bonus action. I'm done. All right.

Jack claps his hands together and approaches and bows to Mateed once again. Your second exercise will focus on the nurturing of life. Jack points to the tree. Do I have to fix these guys? That would be nice to focus on their lives. Are you a healer now? I do not know. Give me my health points back. Jack points to the tree. See this estralmon tree? It may appear isolated from the other trees, but its roots grow deeper than what we can see.

Jack holds out his hand towards Matide's face. May I? Oui. Jack touches your forehead and a third eye opens beneath it. Your vision suddenly expands to see that the tree's roots extend beyond the ducts and are interconnected with the surrounding trees. Even the ones over by Barney. You see me? Barney's just going, oh. I'm kidding. The same is true of you and your companions. We are all connected in a deeper level than we realize. Jack removes his finger and then ties a blindfold around your head.

Unfortunately, most of us are blind to this reality and left to think that we are all alone. Your second task is to gather as many astralmans along the ground as possible in 30 seconds whilst blindfolded. Oval nuts. What? Drink your oval nuts. You called them oval nuts before and now you said almonds. Because they are almonds. We now know. Before it was just like being vague. You're learning things. Oh, fuck.

It's just like that barb has latched onto this description. I don't know if Micah knew what he was going to tap into when he wrote that into the module. I'm going to use that every day of my life moving forward. Can you pass me that tub of oval nuts? I'm not even going to use it to refer to almonds. I'm just going to use it for everyday things. Too funny. All right. So now that you're blindfolded, Mateed, in order to gather almonds, you need to make a DC 11 dexterity check at disadvantage.

They're oval names. We're going to have you do it as many times as possible within 30 seconds. And Jack, what do we do? Do you want us to distract or poke or stab? We want to help train. Hey, we're here to help train.

or poke or stab. You are helping. It is through the interconnection that Mateed will be able to sense the nuts. I need you to focus on the almonds as much as possible. Yeah, sense the nuts, Mateed. Sense those nuts. Child. What is it, just 20? Give me a 20. So at disadvantage. For listeners at home, Micah just brought in a tackle box filled with dice. Did you have that with you? He pulled it out of his back pocket. He's like a fisherman, but with dice.

All right. All right. So hold on. I've got a timer and I'm going to be writing down your rolls. So don't forget it's at disadvantage. So you roll two and you tell me what the lowest one is. And folks at home, don't forget that we have a pair of stinky dragon dice available. We do not. It's later down the road. They'll come soon. They will be here. We have Groteth once in the works. And they're cool. All right. Ready? Go. 10. That's a fail. 13. 17. 26. 27.

13, 10, 8, 26, 12, 10, or 9, sorry, 18, 8 times. Can I get this one? Nope. Nope. Okay. He's doing dexterity checks. That's the math. Right, but I was seeing like... Plus 7. Plus 7. He's doing really quick math. At disadvantage. Right. So he's going to take the lower one and then add his... Dude, did you get footage of his confusion? I was like...

What kind of math minute is this? Because I was focused on this the entire time. I was like, well, I can list numbers while rolling dice that have nothing to do with the numbers. I'm impressed that you got, like, I think two 26s, which means a 19 was your lower roll. Yeah. That's crazy. I rolled a couple of 20s. We're doing some girl math out there. How many nuts? Oh, oh, oh. Was this a thing where Mateed was going around like a bird and just going like...

Just poking, pecking down at the ground. All right. So all told, during the amount of time you were able to gather seven astralmans. Wow.

Wow. And Jack. Almonds? Astral almonds. Astral almonds. Oh, oval nuts. They're Australian almonds. Available now at the store. Available now at the store. Available now at any grocery store in your area. Go in and ask if they have any oval nuts. Excuse me, where's the oval nut aisle? That's like one every four seconds, I guess. That's pretty good. Yeah. So Jack, you know, approaches and, you know, counts them up.

confirms that you have seven and tells you for every astralman you give it you must tell a party member a word of kindness or a word of truth this is one way in which we cultivate deeper relationships with those all around us

And you got seven? Yeah. Oh, each of us gets a compliment and one of us gets a bonus compliment. I could just compliment Elgar the entire time, right? That's an option? No. Jack says you got to give us all your teammates. I want almond nuts. I think we each get two. Three compliments for Bernie. Hip, hip, hooray. We each get two and someone gets one. If I do it evenly? Yeah. If I do it evenly? How does he, do we have to like, how do we, how do we take the compliment?

What do we do? Do we just look at them? Have you never gotten a compliment before? Not often. Chip adopts a receptive physical stance. Barney comes out of hiding. Are there compliments going around? There's a Barney shaped hole through the trees that just he came through. Elga makes a

a cup with her hands. Oh. Okay, I'll approach Chip first. Oh, we're going in the order of...

roll for it. Matib puts a finger on Chip's mouth. And he just goes, quiet. Can I put these in my pillow? Chip, I highly admire your devotion to your wife. I think that is an admirable trait for an individual to have. And I severely hope that we find her soon. I can't!

Give me a hug, you big lung. That's the most beautiful thing you could have told me. I think that qualifies as two. You admire his devotion and you hope you find her soon. That's not a compliment, though. The hope is... It's either a compliment or a truth. And that is the truth. Quiet down over there, Jack. I'm getting compliments over here. Thank you. May I return one? That's fine. I was going to talk to Barney next, but Chip's being Chip.

Oh, Mateed, where do I start? Where do I begin? Since the day we met, I didn't know you were a talented baker, but I didn't know you were going to be such a talented friend. We've grown so close together. Come here. Come here. Give me a hug, you. Come here. Give me a hug. Is that a bird joke? Talented? Ah.

Yeah, that was intended. What are you doing? Are you grappling me? Yeah, what's a roll for sure? A big hug. Like strength or dexterity. Strength. Okay, strength. Just throwing all my strength. Just throwing all my strength. Saving throw now. Here we go. I'm still waiting for my compliment. What'd you roll? Nine. What'd you roll? I rolled a one. Okay. Here's how this is going to go. Here's how this is going to go.

Because he rolled a one, Mateed is going to turn incorporeal and have Chip phase through Mateed. But my eyes are closed, so I go right to Jack. He rolled a seven. No, what happens? Well, I rolled a one plus. He rolled a seven. Then he rolled a seven. Blaine's actually very blind. Oh. I was like, there's no way he has plus eight. Okay, got a nine. That would still miss. Yeah. And so I'm going to still let it stand. That Chip would phase through. But Mateed then turns back corporeal, turns around, and gives a back hug to Chip. Oh.

In the arms of the needy. And then we start making pottery. He is an angel if they're dead, right? The sneak key becomes the sneaker.

The pause between... Mid-word. That's how long a thought by Chris takes. We've all seen the gears turn in real life now. It's like a JPEG on dial-up internet. Loading just top-down...

Oh, that's great. Or in like a videos buffering on the streaming service. All right. So it's two down. Two out of seven. Yeah. Barney, when we met, I thought you were a bumbling, useless, confusing old man. It's a compliment. You got to give him a compliment. That's my truth. Okay. That's my truth. And here's your lie. What I have learned is that you are full of multitudes and... What is that? What is that?

You are highlighting exactly what I'm talking about right now. And I am infinitely curious to find the end to your story. Was that a compliment? That is a compliment. You interest me.

That's high praise for Matid. Yeah. I'm interesting. Very good, Barney. One of the worst things to be to me is boring. I thought you said Barney. Elga. Yes. I'm ready to receive. I put the almond, the astral almond in Elga's palm. The awful nut. The awful nut.

Elga, I think that while many would look at you and underestimate your power and your fortitude and your leadership skills as well, I immediately enjoyed having you in the party. And I've never regretted you being by my side the entire time. Thank you, Matid.

Oh, do you also, do you regret having these guys by your side at any time? The truths are over. Wait, you still, you still, four. Yeah, that's all. One, two, three, four. I think I gave, I think I gave three, I think I gave a truth and two compliments to Alba. I think so too.

So generous. All right. So you have these seven astral moons. Do you want to, what do you want to do with them? Yeah. Sorry. I should have said that. I, in my head, I envisioned putting them in their, their hands as I did. Oh, okay. If I, if I can do that. Yeah. I called it out with Elga, but I meant to say that for all of them. Okay. So I have three and the other guys have two. Sure. Cool. Yeah. Almonds. How much psychic damage did you take complimenting us?

None. Jack bows once more and leads you all to a nearby building with sparkling smoke wafting out from its stone chimney. Inside, you feel a waft of warmth wash over your astral selves. Waft of warmth wash. Yeah. And the sound of tinkering metal clangs all around what appears to be a stone forge. But the metallic noises don't sound like a typical smithy. They're almost musical. There you go, Gus. Beautiful. Beautiful. Micah, you could use that. There you go.

Thanks. Micah does not look thrilled about that. I hope a mic caught that distant. Thanks. Welcome to the Forge of Forkery. This is where we shall conclude your training with our third and final exercise, which focuses on the planar arts. Monks spend years studying and making a profound connection with magical energy that suffuses the multiverse called Ki.

It flows through us and connects the planes, much like the one we find ourselves in now. There is one ancient practice I would like to teach you called plane shifting, an ability that allows you to transport to another realm or dimension, be it the material plane, ethereal plane, etc.

We did that with the guy in the fire plane. Isn't that what Eddie did? Yeah. Okay. This magic is powerful and takes a lot from you, so prepare yourself. First, it requires the crafting of a tuning fork of a complex substance or alloy that allows you to tune yourself to a particular plane of existence.

It's like a tuning fork, the forgery of forking. Yeah. You got it. I'm catching on. Do you have any unusual materials that you wish to craft into the tuning fork? Is Jack addressing all of us collectively? Yeah.

He's addressing you, but it's not like he's excluding anyone. He's talking to you, but I mean, the whole party is there. And they're just asking him a teed right now? I mean, anyone can volunteer it. I bring out an old piece of like a past thieves tool that I have carrying around. Part of the little rollout. Yeah, yeah. I give you one of those.

Okay. Does anybody else have anything? We're trying to make a tuning fork? Correct. Yeah. I have a crowbar. I have some slime. How big does this tuning fork need to be? I have a brass lamp. Anything of value, maybe, that would help it. I thought your tuning fork, you... Well, any unusual materials would be helpful. I have... I have slime. I have slime.

Sure. Toss it in there. Okay. I feel like that's very Elga. Here's some slime. Did Elga grow out of her slime face? Yeah. I think so. I think she just hasn't determined how to use it. I mean, if we're just throwing away trash, I got a bunch of stuff in my bag that I can get rid of. It's not trash.

I have actually an item that I think would actually be helpful for this particular thing. I still have the orb of direction. And considering this is a travel directional thing, I'll add that to it. I think that could be helpful. Yeah. What you got? There's no slime, but that's okay. Bonnie, would you like to contribute at all to this? I've got scissors. I've got a library card. And I've got a crowbar.

I have some carpenter tools. It is important when you travel to have knowledge of where you're going, so maybe a celebrity card might be of sentimental value. I got this neat flag that we got in the fireplace. This is just everybody recalling what's in their inventory. It's a red flag with a black arrow. Does that interest you? Ooh, what is this? And I hold out some astral almonds. My

Marnie, you just got those from my tea and I wouldn't give them away in front of them. Oh. What does Marnie want to give? I don't know if this is helpful, but I have a hide-and-seek doll. What?

It's a hide and seek doll. It helps you. You say a word seek in it, like within 120 feet, it like seeks them out and then like explodes on them. But if you're talking about trying to find things. Sure. I like it. That's the thing. What about something of sentimental value, like your codpiece on your metal armor? Stop. Stop.

All right. We'll say that's enough. It's a good thing we had that slime. The glue. It is, yeah. It's the binding agent. Jack points, you know, to the smithy that you all are in. There are four tasks necessary to forge the fork. Bounce box.

Mounds box? Mounds box. Oh, my sandbox. He said it's enough. Sorry. First, you must melt and combine everything in the furnace. Then, you must forge it in the forge, followed by welding, and finally, quenching. Each of you must take one of these tasks.

So which of you will take each of those tasks? What are the... It's furnace, forging, welding, quenching. And what are the strength of the checks related to each one? I don't know if I should tell you. I think that the person who is resistant to fire would be really good. At welding. Well, I was thinking more of like the furnace.

Yeah, I'll take the furnace. I'm resistant to fire. Should I maybe take the forging? Because it might need some bang, bang, bang. I think that is wonderful. I'll take the forge. All right. Feel at home next to this furnace. So that would leave welding and quenching. Vani, what do you feel equipped to do? Hmm.

You should probably do welding, right? Because you're like our carpenter. I say quenching. Quenching. Yeah, because welding seems like a more meaningful part. You just dump the water. I'll dump the water. Quenching for Barney. Barney's going to bring up the rear. Which leaves, what did I say? Welding for Mateed. Weld, weld, weld. Do you want some incense? Yes.

Blaine just rolled the dice. He rolled a one. Scoopin', just seeing how I'm doing today. Do you want to put some incense in there? It'll smell nice. I think that when you are creating materials to try to keep them as pure as possible, although we are throwing a bunch of some slime. Yeah, let's get the definitive list here. I need to write this down. So it was slime. I know there was a library card in there. Steve's tool. Orb of direction. Don't forget the slime.

And did you want the incense or the hide-and-seek doll or... I think we'd settle on the hide-and-seek doll. Now, Matid, don't stick this in your mouth because I'm not certain it's BPA-free, okay? A lot of plastics here, a lot of microplastics. You got to watch out for those. And your thieves' tools? Yeah.

In the blibary card for sure. The slime, that could be a plastoid of some sort. It's a slime, blibary card, thieves tools, orb of direction, hide and seek doll. Sure. Okay. That doll's got, oh, that's lots of plastics in that. Yeah. All right. And so now that you've decided. Oh, it looks like me.

I just read that the doll looks like me. And you're going to give that away? Chris has lag today. So now that you've all decided, let's talk about your tasks. Each of you has one minute to complete your respective tasks, and they involve rolling a particular skill check until you roll a success. Then you roll a die that I'm going to tell you one at a time, adding each roll amount until you reach your number goal. So basically you make a check until it works, and then you roll a die that I tell you over and over until you reach a goal.

Okay. D20s suffice for this? For your checks, yeah. I'll pass some dice out. Okay, okay. Yeah. I'll take a purple. You can do math. So Mateed is welding. So Mateed needs a D20 and a D6. Give me a D6. Thank you. Chip is furnace, so he needs a D20 and a D8. You want to give me a date?

Barbara is quenching, so she... No, I'm forging. Yep. Oh, forging, my bad. So you need a D20 and a D6, and then Barney is quenching, so he needs a D20 and a D4. D20 and a D4. We never get to roll real dice because we keep it all on D&D Beyond Digital, which is good because it allows us all to see each other's stuff easily, but this is fun. Since we're doing it this way, I'm going to need you to read me the... Not the D20, but...

With the modifier? Yeah, I'm going to need you. I'm going to ask you for your D20 check. So you're going to need to say it to me with the modifier. And then whenever the other die is, just roll it. And then I'm going to write it down and add it all up. Okay. So Chip is starting us off? Yeah. So if you have any spells or relevant feats or traits to assist in your skill checks, or you want to use an inspiration die to reroll something, just let me know.

What kind of check am I doing here first so that I know my modifier? You are correct. So everyone's a little different, so I'm going to, as we get to each person, I'll tell them. Chip, Furnace, you are doing intelligence checks. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Well, I got a plus one. But you're fire resistant, so. Yeah, I got a plus one. So we're going to set a one minute timer. It's going to be basically rolling your intelligence check to start a fire in the furnace and then to get it hot enough using the bellows. So I'm going to have you roll intelligence checks until you reach a number that I set. And then after that, you're going to roll a D8 over and over until you hit a goal. However, if you roll a one, your count resets and it starts over. Oh.

No pressure, Blaine. Okay. Okay. So you're going to first, you're just going to do your D20 and give them the modifier number. All right. Ready? Yep. Go. Six. Fail. Six. Fail. 11. Fail. 17. That succeeds. All right. So now roll the D8. Here we go. I got this. And eight, three, two, four, five.

You gotta do it Gus like those kids that are like the super fast like a cup stack math kids that like and they do those little hand signals as the Yeah, that's amazing to me. So

So Chip successfully heats the metal to the appropriate temperature, so it's ready for forging. That means it's over to Elga to actually forge it. Forge! So it's very similar again here, Elga. You're going to roll a d20. It's going to be a strength check until you hit the correct check. And then after that, you're going to roll your d6. And then each time I'm going to add it until you hit the goal. If you roll a one, your number resets to zero. Okay. I have a plus four on my strength. When you make your check, give me the after the modifier. Yeah.

So if you roll a two, tell me six. - The sum. - Okay, yep. - Ready, set, go. - Eight. - Fail. - 18. - Oh, that succeeds. All right, D6. - One. - Oh, zero. - Three. - Three. - One. - Zero. - Six. - Six. - Four. - Oh, good. - It's on the floor. - Four. - Keep going. - Two. - No ones. - One. - One. - Reset zero. - No, keep going. - One. - Zero. - Six. - Yes.

Five. She's throwing it all over the place. Three. All right. Four. Barbara, control your dice. Oh, you got it. What number are we trying to get to? It's different for everyone. What time did she have left? I'm not telling you. She had about 22 seconds left. From an audio perspective, we heard it hit everything. At one point, it went...

I was looking down because I'm doing the math. I have no idea what's happening over there, but it was filled with audio texture. Well, something I was realizing too while Blaine was rolling his die. What is that, a D8? So he can just kind of drop it and it just goes, but a D6 is flat, so you can't really just drop it. You gotta give it a little zest.

I think it's me. Yeah, so, Elga, you've shaped the metal by, you know, hammering it out on the anvil. So now it's time to weld it and join the pieces together. So, Mateed, it's on you to weld. You're going to roll me a D20 dex check. Ooh, dex. Then once you're successful, you will roll a D6. However, welding is a little more precise than some of these other tasks. You have a very specific task.

number goal you're trying to hit. You want just like a small range. If you go too high, the metal breaks. So for you, I'll tell you the number, unlike everyone else. Now, John, you have a plus four to your dexterity. So if you're going to add that modifier... That's just for the first roll. That's for the first roll. This is what we're talking about for the D6 rolls. You want to hit between 15 and 18. If you go over 18, the metal will break. We're playing blackjack. All right. So ready for your dex checks and go.

- Eight, 13, 19. - Fail, fail. - Oh, success. All right, so roll your D6. - Five, four, two, three, three. - You did it. - That's a 17. - Oh, that's record time. - Wow. - Wow.

Also, the fact that I was able to keep up with the math at about the pace as Gus. I was just half a second behind him. It's because John's using the stinky dragon dice that we had come out of a few, what was it, a year ago? No. It was last summer. Last summer. All right, Barney. Good luck dice. You have this really hot piece of metal that's been joined together, and you need to rapidly cool it off by submerging it in water. Okay. Very similar. You're going to have one minute to complete the tasks. You need to roll a wisdom check, first of all.

Then after that, you get to roll your D4. However, again, you have a very narrow window. You need to hit at least 10, but not go over 12. So you need between 10 and 12. Otherwise, the task fails. And also, if you roll a 1, it resets your count to 0. I add my modifier to the D20. Correct. It's a wisdom check, so you add your wisdom modifier. Do I know what I need to get over, or do you just tell me? I'll just tell you. And if you're ready, set, go. 15. Oh, you made it.

Three. All right. One. Oh, reset zero. So, no, start, no, do that one again. Keep going, keep going. One. Zero. Four. Four. One. Zero. Four. Four. One. Zero. Two. Two. Four. One. Zero. Two. Three. One. He needs a better dive. Four. Running out of time. Two. Two.

Two! That's ten! That's ten. Oh, I need more? No, you did it. That's your goal. Yay! Goodness gracious, that was... Four! One! Four! One! When he's like, you gotta start over, he took out his D20 again. I'm like, no, no, no! It's just Marty over there just dunking and bringing it out, dunking and bringing it out. Yeah.

Is he just screaming at the metal? He's hitting himself with the thing. He's got burn marks all over his body. It's done. He fell into the water at some point. It's the most warbled piece of metal ever. Well done. Now you must attune the fork to a particular plane of existence. As I understand it, the creature calling itself Katrina was a hag, and she was able to plane shift because, like all hags, they draw the power from the Feywild.

Jack turns to Barney. "Barnabus, I don't know if you know this, but I believe you draw your magic from the Feywild, for it is a realm of perpetual twilight."

Oh, he's a Twilight cleric. You have a pocket watch, do you not? Yes, I do. Your watch has a deep connection to the Feywild. Perhaps you can use it to attune the fork. Okay. I pull out the watch. How do you think Barney would want to attune the tuning fork to the Feywild using the watch? I'm just watching Chris's face and I'm hearing the AOL login sound. I take the watch and...

It's a pocket watch. I attach, like, the chain on it. And then I swing it like a pendulum. Okay. Like... Like hypnotizing somebody. Maybe like hypnotizing. Synchronizing it. Yeah, yeah. Trying to synchronize it with the watch. Just seconds. Like, yeah. Yeah. Make me an Arcana check. Ten. Oh, okay. Yeah. I...

I really wish the audience could see Chris's selling face that he does when he doesn't do a very good role. We are recording this on video. I know. We should use this clip because he is begging. You can use it as a reaction gift whenever someone tells you something you don't like but you're trying to act positive about it. Yeah.

Yeah, so the fork lines up with the energy of the Feywild. So, Mateed, you can add Tuning Fork of Banishment to your inventory. Oh. Ooh. The fork is now attuned to the Feywild. It now contains one charge of the Banishment spell, which will transport one creature to the Feywild for one minute. If that minute is uninterrupted, the creature stays there. Otherwise, they return. I have a question.

You're saying Feywild, right? Yeah. You know, if you have an Australian accent, you go wild, and it's like world. Is that what's happening here? Feywild. Feywild. Out of wild. Yeah. It's going to sound weird. We're upsetting our entire Australian audience. Hey, Jack, are you evil? Just yes or no. Nar. Naru. Nar. Nar.

He said "Narrow!" Narf! Oh, Narf! I'm happy to say that this completes your training, Mateed. Jack bows deeply to Mateed and then begins reaching out with their hand towards Mateed's head once more. May I? No, we. Jack presses their finger into the center of your forehead again, but this time a cool blue flame ignites from his fingertips and you feel a surge of energy rush throughout your body. Though your growth as a monk will continue far beyond from today,

You have reached a milestone in your training, and this, you are forever connected to the plane of Australia. You can add a feat now to your character sheet called Plane Touched. Cool. P-L-A-N-E? Yeah, oh, just Mateed. That's what happens when you... I go to chip it. This is a special touch, not just a plane touch. I pat you on the back. Oh, thank you, Barney, for the special touch.

touch. What is it? What's the feat called? Plane touched. P-L-A-N-E touched. All right. Adding it to my character. No, not you. What is it? John, look at it. You can add plane touched. So plane touched, you gain proficiency on perception checks and you gain the astral leap spell. I want

Once you cast the spell, you can't cast it again until you finish a long rest. An astral leap is you roll a d20 at the end of your turns for the duration of the spell. On a roll of 11 or higher, you vanish from your current plane of existence and appear in the Australian plane. At the start of your next turn and when the spell ends, if you're on the Australian plane, you return to an unoccupied space of your choice. You can see within 10 feet of the space you vanished from. So it's basically a way to go back and forth between whatever plane you're on and the Australian plane.

With a 10-foot difference? Yeah. Does that take them off the map while they could have potentially been attacked? Correct, because they're in a different plane. That's way to be more OP. Anyways, I got one attack. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

But you're so sneaky. And with that, Jack leads you all back to the entrance of the temple and offers a warm smile behind his beak. Wait, Jack, are you going to come with us? Are you going to turn back into a cat? Or are you going to be like, where are you going? It has been my honor to travel with you across Grotith, but I'm afraid my time on the material plane has come to an end. When you are ready to return, just say the word and I shall send you all back. Once you arrive, you must defeat the three Higgs of the coven, but I would advise splitting them up. You

You can use your tuning fork to banish one of the Hegs to the Feywild. This will grant you time to subdue the remaining Hegs while they are less powerful. If I could have one private word with Mateed before you all depart... So many words! Yeah, go ahead. Okay.

Barber's taking... He's in the same room as you. Do you want us to leave? Yeah, but I'll pretend. Oh, Barber took her headphones off. We all took our headphones off, but we're in the same room together. Have your private conversation now. She's just listening. Proceed!

You want to do this real roleplay? You want to leave? Or do you want to stay? What do you think? Should we leave? I'm asking. Yeah, why don't you leave? Okay, Barb's leaving. Now it's just the John show. It's the John and Gus show. Hey, welcome to the old man podcast. It's John and Gus in the morning. What part of your body hurts today? Right now it's my right thigh. I don't know why. My neck is killing me. Mateed, I don't know what you remember from your past.

But I can see that you are connected with your compatriots in more ways than one. You have wisdom from a past life that you can pass on to your friends, and I believe your friendships would blossom all the more because of it. Barney might benefit from your experience in the afterlife, especially during this time of transition for him.

And Chip, in his own crisis, with his wife and their intertwined reputations as assassins, you and I both know you have experience in at least one of those areas, is for Ilga

I fear she will experience her own harrowing experience soon. And she will need a friend like you to walk her through it. I agree with you completely. They need me so badly here. They absolutely do. They would be just scattered without me. You are indispensable. I agree so much. It's so wonderful to talk with someone who agrees so much with me. If you should ever need wisdom or a listening ear, I am but an astral leap away here at the temple. Oh, God.

Which reminds me... Jack begins gesturing and moving as if in a small dance and... Out from between his legs saunters a kitten. A small ghostly grey kitten. It's a little kitty.

A petit chat. This is Jacques Jr., or JJ for short, if you so desire. JJ. He's a familiar that I have summoned to look after you in my absence. I think it's Jaja, actually, would be what it'd be in French, because I think Ja is the pronunciation of J. So Jaja. You can add a cat to your character sheet if you want. Oh, he's so cute. I love him so much. Okay, I'm going to let everyone back in. Okay. Why are you crying? What happened?

There's no crying in D&D. I learned how each of you are going to perish. Wow! We're going back to perish? Farewell, my friends. I wish you good fate and fortune on your quest, and I pray we will see each other again someday. I have a question. You said there was a word. Say the word and we'll leave. I have a question first. What's the word? It's a phrase. A bird is the word, obviously. Oh, my gosh. Jack, what's the word? Do we get the long rest before?

I have a question. Can Mateed just gather them all up in Mateed's wings and say, we're ready? I have a question. No long rest yet. What's your question? Why can't Mateed remember how Mateed died? I like how he's like, all right, bye. Let's have an existential conversation about mortality and thought.

There are things that have difficulty moving between different planes of existence. You know when you travel and your baggage sometimes doesn't come with you? Exactly. Sometimes you might find it later. Maybe it was redirected somewhere else. Maybe it's in Phoenix, Arizona. Who knows? And you forget everything else in the bag. It's different for everybody. But do you know? Do I know? Yeah. No. Oh. It was not during my time we were together. Okay. So what's the word we gotta say...

Do we want to come up with like... Go on, Jack. I don't think there is one. No, no, no, there is. Bird is the word. Let Jack say it. The word is phoenix. Phoenix.

No one say Sphynx! Sphynx. Yeah, teleport away. Jack pulls out a sky trap from his robes and the plush becomes sparkling dust and he blows the cloud towards you all. Wait, did we own it? Too late. The shower of sparkles sizzles across your spiritual selves and soon your spirits soar back to the material plane straight into your bodies in the abandoned schoolhouse.

I'm alive! As you all gather your bearings, you realize that your bodies have been revitalized, no doubt thanks to Jacques. Everyone, you can now mark a long rest on your character sheets. Looks like we made it! Can we go up a level? No. The footsteps creak on the floorboards behind you and a disheveled alchemist steps forward, the weathered lines across his face sunken in more than ever. I believe it's time I told you the tale of me.

and my other personality Lewis

Find out what that is on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I kept silent so that maybe he would do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, wow, they're all really quiet right now. Blaine's going to trick you into lore. Nope. That's next week on the next episode. Another good ending. Happy Stinkuary, everyone. Happy Stinkuary. Go to stinkydragonpod.com to learn more and to support us. And watch our stream in 10 days. Yeah. Thank you so much for listening. What date is it? January 26th.

The stream will be January 26th. January 26th. Yeah, 3rd. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye.

It's that time again where I'm going to shout out some of our awesome first members. They're the cool supporters that are directly making it so we can do the amazing, stinky content we do, like Axron, or Erica Makes Things, or Mega Cracker, or Skyfighter625, or NightwingNicholas, who is extra cool because they have a DC comic character in their name, and I'm biased. But all these people directly support the show, and they also get access to great content like our show Second Wind,

or they interact with us on the subscriber-only Discord channels and the events that we have on those channels. Again, all of that can be found at stinkydragonpod.com slash first. We thank you, we thank you, we thank you, and also we thank you. I definitely want to give a shout-out to our friends who voiced characters in the show. We got Jacques Apricot, a.k.a. Jacques, is voiced by Drew Saplin, who can be found at at D. Saplin, and The Alchemist is always voiced by the incomparable Blizzbear, found at

at LizBear. The Stinky Dragon channel is managed by Ben Ernst. This episode of Tales from Stinky Dragon was produced by Kai Cook, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger, whoever that is, with additional editing work by David Saunier. I do know who that is. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Can Hairless Hutch be the next, like, a narrator of the next season? Hey guys, hey guys. What are we gonna do? Sorry about me and my best friends. Oh, it's so us. Just starting every episode off creepy. Oh, love it. From in prison. Yeah. So, you're probably wondering how I got here. That's actually really good. We should do that. Too funny. He's the next little Jimmy.