C02 - Ep. 29 - Passé in Perrish- Whole Hag of Tricks
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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Felicitations, all you frogimus. Hop your way into the stinky dragon. Take a taste of our latest tonic, Tongue at Heart.

It's a mixture of shock-free sugar, a pondering amount of water, a grapple amount of cinnamon sticks and syrup, espresso already engulfed, mordant milk topped with tentacle whipped cream.

One nip of this nosh, you'll no longer feel swamped. Previously, our adventurers made a deal with a Darkling in exchange for underground directions. After meandering into the Mausoleum milieu and stumbling into some subterranean subterfuge, the party are now prisoners in Covenord custody. Bring over a brew and buckle up for this bedtime tale. ♪

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Chess with a Stinky Dragon. I'm just really relieved I did not have to say cavalry a bunch of times in that intro. You did it just so good just now. I know. Hello, I'm Gustavo Sterolo, the Dungeon Master of our future party. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Yay!

Was that Gum-Gum? Sorry. Get out of here. Gum-Gum took the arrow for Barney like, Mr. President. I will let you get hurt. This week's role-playing warm-up question is, what's your character's favorite animal and why? I will start. Hello. My name is Elga Von Brass. My name. My name. My name is Elga.

Barbara Dunkelman. Yeah. And I play the half-elf vampire barbarian. And you know, it may surprise you, but Elga's favorite animal is turtles. Oh. Oh.

Is there a specific reason? Turtles, you know, they're very calm. They don't cause a lot of drama. Also, they live a very long time. So Elgas had, you know, a few turtles growing up. I like when Elgas says turtles. That's my new favorite Elga word. That's the enunciation of Elga. That's another reason I pick turtles because I knew Gustavo would enjoy it. That's so good. So I wash my turtles, I eat my broccoli, you know, do all the fun things.

You know, turtles live a really long time. There was an SNL skit a couple weeks ago where they said a bit of trivia that Steve Irwin, when he was still alive, owned the same turtle that Charles Darwin had owned at one point. Wow. Yeah. Is it tortoises? Yeah. Giant tortoises can live a really long time. I saw on TikTok, the lady was like, she was like in her 80s and she was like, oh, I've had this turtle since I was a kid.

Just like your pet turtle, the same pet turtle. It was like, I love that. She's like, I love this turtle. I take this turtle everywhere with me. And that's why I like dark dolls. Hey, I'll go next. Hey there, it's me, Chip Patey. Hey, how you doing, Dungeon Mister? Very good. You never talk to me. This is a little awkward. Let's break the fourth wall. That's grand. Let's shake hands. Do you need anything before we get started? Do you have an inspiration? I'm all stuck

up on inspiration guys we're good to go you know when i think of animals that i relate to i think of nothing else but the mongoose you know you think about like uh storybooks like ricky tiki tabby you know he's a cute little furry creature you want to get to know him you want to hug him and then bam he kills the cobra right if you're his enemy he will end you that's right you wouldn't expect it from such a cute little little beast but that critter he'll murder that critter that critter will murder

Yeah, so I'd say a mongoose. That's a good one. Has Chip ever owned a mongoose? Like as a pet or anything? No, just my pet Skipper, which is a...

cockatrice yeah there you go what about barney duh what's your uh your favorite animal barney barney farnie well uh i'm chris demers and i can answer for barney he's busy right now barney just stepped out he'll be right back yeah marty's got some stuff he's working through

I always find animals that are kind and loyal and loving. They don't have to be

So don't have to be violent. Such good... I've always enjoyed dogs. I think Barney is sleep talking. The stinker begins yapping excitedly. Wagging its tail and its butt. Dogs are good. You're quite a loyal guy. I can see that, Barn. Mateed, Eric Cochran, what animal do you like? And you can say yourself.

I mean, I, I, I do not consider myself an animal. Do you consider yourself an animal? That's kind of, Oh, I'm an animal. Yeah, I guess it's a really good question to ask. Hi, I'm John Reisinger. I play Matty Confucius, the era Cochran ghost monk. My favorite animal. Uh, it's quite obvious. It is a color changing kitties. Uh,

Specifically color changing. Cats are great. They are very good. I especially love the fact that they have been around for so long and they've managed to be worshipped by people. That's amazing to live a long time and be worshipped. That's the goals. I mean, at this point, you know, but yeah, I love cats. I always have. It was very fortuitous to fall upon one in that...

Sewer? We were in a sewer. Sewer. Yeah, sewer. And have one because I've always wanted a companion for one. But, you know, so busy being a small business owner and running your own shop and everything like that. So I just never found the time. And, you know, you know, the cat distribution system found me.

Cats are good to have. Yeah, and especially as a baker, a cat can help you make biscuits. It can... See how I was the best at the biscuits. Inspiration die. Go. Oh, thank you. You begin looking at them, and one of them suddenly rises and then begins darting out the dark passage. Now wait. It's Juzzy. Hurry! Secure the gate and the prisoners! They're right behind me! What? I'm sorry. What? Wait, I thought we could trust Juzzy. So wait.

Juzzy has headed to the exit that they were running towards? Yes. And is yelling to someone ahead of us. Presumably someone you can't see. What? I rushed forward. And they said secure the gates so the prisoners don't get away? Yeah, us being the prisoners. You rushed forward. What the heck?

Welcome, my friends, to the headquarters of Talon. Ha ha ha!

How far away are they? Also, just for our, you know, information, is one of them Eddie? Is Eddie with them? No. Okay. It's Juzzy and the two hags from where you are. They're, you know, obviously they're outside of the ice dome that's encapsulating you. Two hags. So are these people from the coven? No, this is Talon. They're about 50 feet away. 50 feet away. They are one in the same coven.

Maybe. Why doesn't everyone make me a perception check? Let's see what you see with your character eyes. And I'm cross-eyed. We all still have the night vision thing on for 300 feet. But I rolled a net 20 for 24. Look at you. That's a critical fail for Barney.

which ends up being a six. I've got dirt in my eye. It's all that dander from Stinker. It's all that very alive dander that comes from other very alive creatures. I don't think bones have dander.

It's weird. So Chip with a four, Barney with a six. You know, the Dome of Ice is way too cold to focus on much else. It's just like chilling you all the way through to the core. I start prepping Matiny Hut. Okay. The ritual style. Matide, the foggy frost of the dome softens, revealing an underground lair seated beneath the roots of a dead tree and a green pond to the north.

Oh.

And in the shadowed edges of the lair, you spot more of those hooded figures. Does Louis see us? Yes. Louis might be responsible for this ice dome. Probably. Frost? It's possible. When this dome formed, it also formed icy manacles that is shackling you all together inside this dome of thick ice that has four frosted pillars.

shackling us all together or like our own hands to our own hands? Your own hands to your own hands and then person to person as well on top of that. Are we about to receive a monologue or could Chip use the Steve Stools to, or like lockpicking kit? Are we about to receive a monologue? I'll stick around for a good, hey, good monologue? I'll sell, hey. Yeah, well, I mean, a villain has to monologue. Of course. And believe it or not, I've got a monologue right here. All right, let's hear it. Okay, I'll wait. I'm going to put these back in my bum bag.

Splash! Out from the green pond spring forth two shriveled crones with withered faces. Each is framed with long frayed hair and pocked with horrid moles and warts spread across their bodies. One has a bluish complexion and carries a gray staff, and the other looks more green with long, spindly claws. Oh, exquisite. You all are just in time for appetizers. Come, my darlings. Bring forth the feast!

Yes, mother skitch. A troop of hooded darklings step out from the shadows, carrying a table, chairs, and a platter of what is clearly a small humanoid corpse. The two crones sit down at the table, and the blue crone immediately begins gobbling up the expired remains like a ravenous vulture. Says the vampire.

Hey, I don't eat people. I just... Never mind. Drain them. The liquids. The green crone, however, simply stares at you all with a stern look. Can I do a quick, like, history check? Because at the end of the last episode, you said...

One of them proclaimed they're part of Talon, correct? Yes, that is correct. Okay, but I'm getting mixed messages that these are also part of the coven. Does Chip, because, you know, Carol was part of Talon. What do I know about what's going on here? Is it Coventry? What's the actual place called? Coven Nord. Coven Nord. Yeah, why don't you make me a history check there, Chip? Okay. Okay.

It'd be cool if I had an advantage or something. Because, you know, it's part of my history. I just rolled an eight. Yeah. I'll give you advantage on that. Why not? All right. Great. 13. That's better. That's good enough.

So, you know, you're trying to comb through your memories of Talon and things you knew courtesy of Carol, because Chip was never part of Talon. Right. Chip was always part of Dagger. So you don't remember anything specifically about that. However, you do recall you have had interactions with hags in the past, independent of any other things you were asking about. Okay. And, you know, obviously these crones, you do know that they are hags and they're corrupt creatures.

Inhuman monsters that possess evil magic and they ally with each other to form these covens that you know kind of amplify their power and typically covens are made up of three hags or so. Okay.

And they propagate by snatching and devouring human infants. And then after they consume the child, the hag gives birth to a daughter who looks human until her 13th birthday, whereupon the child transforms into a haggling, a spitting image of her hag mother. Okay, and so they're allied with Talon or they are Talon? Not all.

All hags are Talon, but some Talon can be hags. Do all hags go to heaven? And the first hag that I described, yeah, that's the one who proclaimed that you were at the headquarters of Talon. Okay, all right. Hey, gang. It's me, Chipainy, your good buddy. I hope you guys are keeping warm. It's real frosty in here, huh? I'm actually pretty fine. I don't really feel that cold.

Oh, good, good. Okay, so... I think it's cold. I agree. We got some baby eaters on our hands. We got to watch out. They're crafty. It's always cold, though, right? That's true. What? Why is that? Can we turn off the circulation? Okay, well, I have a quick question before we get into this, Barney. Do any of these people look familiar, like the people who maybe took your family? Because didn't they look kind of greenish with hoods?

Can I look and see if I recognize? Yeah, make a, we'll call it a wisdom check to see if you remember. Because you're like looking at the crones trying to discern anything to see what you remember. Yeah, there's a critical fail plus five. Is that two critical fails? Oh, wow. Yeah, he's not doing good. Okay, so on top of that, now I want you to make a wisdom saving throw. Oh. Just Barney? Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Now that is a 29. You do not recognize them. They don't look at all familiar to you, like you've never encountered them in the past. And, you know, when you're looking at them, like trying to discern any memory or try to recall any memory or discern any details, the sight of that one crone feasting on the remains just really makes you sick. You feel like it's really terrifying and make you physically ill, but you manage to suppress it and fight it down. Hey there, Dungeon Mister.

Carol wasn't a crone, right? You tell me.

I certainly hope she wasn't. But I also leave you guys with a lot of story liberties. So I'm also just a little confused. There's a lot of words and terminology being thrown around here. Let's break it down. Let's wrap. So these are Darklings. No, the hooded creatures. Hooded creatures are Darklings. Yeah, similar to Juzzy and the ones that ambushed you at the end of the last episode. But the lady that's eating the body and the green one is a Crone. And a Crone is part of the Covenord?

They are at the Coven Horde. At the Coven Horde. Yeah, which is like a hag lair. Okay. So we can't tell if the crone is a coven, member of the coven. You would assume so because that's how they normally group up. Okay. Like a coven would be like...

a general descriptor for a group of them. Okay. And again, is Carol, do I know if she was part of a coven or anything? Because she was part of Dagger, but I don't know if she was like witchcraft. Real fast, before I answer that, Micah gave me a good definition to give to Barbara here.

Crone is just another term for old witchy woman, aka in this world, a hag. A hag, okay. So that's why that might be confusing sometimes because I'm using some of these words interchangeably. Yeah. I'm glad you're asking because I'm sure some of our listeners are going to be confused about that as well. I'm just like taking my notes and I'm like, Darklings, Coven or Crone. And I'm sorry, what was your question, Blaine? And do I recall if Carol was a part of a coven or...

any of that stuff. You know that, you know, being a member of Talon, that she did have dealings with them on occasion. Oh, okay. Sometimes like how we used to collaborate with like, you know, I don't know, Cow Chopper, Sugar Pipe 7, I guess. I don't know. Sometimes Chocolate collaborates with Peanut Butter. Ah, that's a better example. Sometimes collaborates.

And so Elga saw when she did her perception, she saw to the west there was a bunch of animals. To the east are the animals. To the west are shelves of preserved specimens and jars. And then to the south, standing behind some stone pillars, is Louis. Okay. Is Louis just like standing, free roaming, conscious? Yeah, he's like in a video game, you would say like he's in an idle animation. He's kind of like hulking there. Yeah.

Maybe if he doesn't see us, he won't attack us. Even though he might have very well made this ice core. Yeah, I don't think he's our concern at this point. And what do you want with us?

Yeah, the blue-skinned crone is not really paying much attention to you at the moment. She's eating in a very disgusting manner. However, the green-skinned crone is just staring at you all, like, with a totally blank, stoic, like, stone-faced look. At that point, the blue-skinned one looks up and says...

Sister Shivey, you haven't even touched the intestines. Why are you staring at them? They won't get out. I have no concern for their escape. I simply tire of these rotten, stale carcasses the Darklings call food. Of course. Why eat these lacking leftovers when a fresh meal is right in front of us?

Yes, I think I shall start with the tiefling. The Aarakocrin and the old codger seem less than... lively. How long have we been in here? A couple minutes? Is it my glutes? Is that what it's appetizing? I do work them out. But look at the feral little female. Her muscles look tasty. No muscles to be seen here. Nothing but skin and bones, as my great-grandmother always told me.

Although you do have like the appeal of like a venison, you know? Jib, shut up. She appears to be the perfect age for a haggling. Hey, what'd you call my friend? Too true. Let's have the fleshy ones tenderized into meat and suck the souls from the lifeless ones. Sister Shara can consume those later. Only one of us shall be doing the sucking in this case.

I was gonna say before, can I cast past friends on him?

Fast friends. Does that have a somatic component to it? Verbal.

Look at you, verbal only. You can. I just started reading through it. I'm not sure you're going to cast it. I already found a potential speed bump. It says a humanoid. Is the frost giant not? No, giants are like giants. Well, that stinks. Mateed rolled a nine. Elga and Chip both rolled 21, but Chip has a higher dex. I kind of wanted to talk to the hags. Can they hear us? Are we on mute? This is all happening super fast. Skype call? They're hungry. All right.

Chip first with a 21. Wee! Elga also with a 21 right behind Chip. I see you're using that nifty whiteboard there, Dungeon Mister. Micah brought it in for me. Aw, that's cute. One of the enemies is at 18. Barney's at 16. Mateed at 9. And you all did luck out. Lewis rolled an 8. Could I have cast Fast Friends on one of the witches? In D&D, they are not considered humanoid. They're not of the humanoid type.

Dang it. That's why I pointed out, even before I knew who you were going to target, Lewis, there's not really a humanoid available here. All right, Chip, you get to go first. He sure does. It happened. And don't forget, you got manacles on. Oh, well. Friendship bracelets. That sounds familiar. It's a name I've not heard in many years. Okay, so we had that candle before.

The one that helped us find traps. You did make it a point to say you're carrying it in your tail. Yes. It's an hour, right? That's an hour. So it would still be active. Could that flame... I mean, do I think that that could be enough to melt the chains, the manacles, in a quickly enough manner? They're ice manacles, you said, right? Yeah, they are ice manacles. They're pretty sturdy. Maybe given enough time, they could. The ice dome itself is incredibly thick. You think...

It would take a really long time for that. The manacles of course are thinner than the dome of ice, but they're still...

pretty hardy. Yeah. You know, you'd think you could use your lockpicks to try it. What would that be considered like a bonus action then? Sure, why not? Did the giant enter... How close is he to us now? He's within the dome with you guys. Let's say about 25 feet away. 20, 25 feet, somewhere in that range. Okay. I guess I'll... I'm going to use my lockpick, my thieves tools to see if I can lockpick the frozen manacles. Go for it. Make a...

Let's call it a dexterity check. And just for reference, you know, Chip obviously has these thieves tools. The rest of you, you know, could try slipping out of them or, you know, breaking. Yeah, you could try that. Dex, not sleight of hand. Yeah. Copy. Just want to make sure that is a nat 20. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Believe it or not, that actually that's that's good enough to do it. Believe it or not.

I'm out of the cuffs. You're... Maybe it's being close to Talon again, just reinvigorates the old skills and brings them back, and you're able to make quick work of the lock on the manacles. Oh, yeah. Well, then I'm going to attack, and since this person... The ice giant, I'm going to attack them. And since they have not...

used an attack, then I believe that gives me assassination. You have advantage on attack rolls against any creature that hasn't taken a turn in combat yet. And it says any hit you score against a creature that is surprised is a critical hit.

So I'm going to use the old arm blade of blarbling. Blarble, blang, blang, blang, blang, blang. That's a 13. And then I'm rolling for admission. That's all I hear. That's a land reference. You could produce a lot of D&D to that. I'm going to use my smurgle doggle to cast middle bombs on. That's a 21. It's like reading any fantasy novel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were making their way back from Shadaloflis. Shadaloflis.

Cavalry. Okay. And should I roll damage or is it critted? Well, it's not a surprise or a sneak attack.

Okay, so what does assassinate do? Let's help me define assassinate then. I think if you were hiding, for example, or if you had another enemy within five feet of him. Oh, it's because it's not surprised. Correct. I'm a dum-dum. Okay. Normally I would have used like uncanny action or whatever to go hiding and then come out of hiding, but because the thieves tools use my bonus action, I guess that doesn't really work out. Shoot. I think I only rolled like a...

You have advantage on the roll though, right? Well, yeah, but I rolled an attack. Right, but so since you had advantage on the roll, you're still allowed to add your sneak dice to it because sneak die damage can add any time you have advantage on your attack roll. I'm so confused. I am so bad at being a rogue. You know, in order to attack someone, you make your attack roll. Yes. Sometimes you have advantage like you did in this case. Right, and I rolled a 21. So

So when your sneak die switches bonus damage, get applied any time you have advantage on an attack roll. Typically, the way rogues gain advantage is by having another ally within five feet or by hiding and then jumping out. I think that's where the confusion comes from.

because the hiding and jumping out, that procs assassinate because then it's a surprise attack. You know what, Blaine? In the early pitch of why we told people they should listen to this show is because it's a show if people don't know how to play D&D. And I worried that after like us doing this for so long, like we would have grown out of that. But you know what? You're keeping that pitch real.

I do it for the audience. We all do it for them. I'm just the lens for the audience. I'm being a little facetious, but also like, nope, we're all learning how to do this stuff as we go. I'm still learning too. So I rolled a four, but I get a sneak attack die then. Correct. So then that's 3d6. So I'll roll those. Boop, boop, boop. Very good. Very good. Very nice. There we go. There we go. This is fun. We're learning about rogues. That's not bad. That's a 13.

And then because I used the Arm Blade of Blurbling, I get an additional 1d4 of acid damage. So I'll also roll that. And that there is a tree. 20. 20. Good round number. That 20. 20 points of damage on Louis the Frost Giant from our old friend Chip Haney. What else do I do, Chip? I guess because I...

It's the arm blade. I had to get pretty close to him. So, and I can't use disengage because that would have been a bonus action. Yeah. And so would you provoke attack of opportunity if you tried to get away? Probably. So he probably shouldn't do that because he's big and strong. No, I'm going to, I'm going to provoke attack of opportunity. Really? I'm going to run away. Yeah, I have a plan. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. It's fine.

Okay. So right now, Chip is the only one out of the manacles though, right? Correct. And then Chip, you know, withdraws. Lewis takes a swing with his pickaxe. Yeah. Hitting. Oh, that's a 20. Hitting AC 29. So that's a critical hit. Oh, he critted on you. Shit.

Well, I was gonna use hellish rebuke, but I don't know if I'm alive.

Hekish rebuke. I wanted to use Hekish rebuke if I'm still alive. Are you able to? Well, he's got to see what the damage is. Yeah. We'll see if I'm still, if I survive. So nine plus four is 13. Okay. Plus 24 is 37 points of piercing damage. I'm still kicking, baby. That's all the blood. Hekish rebuke. All right. Blood?

Yeah, there's, I mean, the ice is red now. It's like you're at a hockey game. Gross. I love snow cones. That was a good hit.

Pull my finger. And then I use heckish rebuke on him. I'm just curious. Was that your plan was to, to proc a hit? And so you can use your heckish rebuke. Okay. My plan was yes to absolutely proc a hit, but I thought because it was going to be attack of opportunity, I was like, it's probably going to be a lower level hit. It's not going to be like some big cantrip attack. Yeah. Yeah. I wiped me out. I follow you. It's a giant, right? So it's like giants are incredibly strong. Yeah. Yeah.

Jeez. I need to stop acting like I'm some sort of cannon. Because I'm not. We're only level six. So I use Hecate's Tribute, and that's 3d10. I will say that it's also, it's fire damage. Yes. So I don't know if that gives me any additional, but I'm rolling that, and that is Jesus. You rolled a one, a one, and a two. Oh my god. Four points of damage. Ah!

Out of a potential 30. Out of a potential 30. Lewis will take that trade any day. Four points of damage for 37 points of damage. He rolled a one, a one, and a two out of three D10s. Yeah, let's keep replaying that moment back, guys. Come on. Bar.

Do you have any luck you love? Wow, that was really unimpressive. Thank you, Barney. Lucky is only for D20s. Oh, I have inspiration. You do have an inspiration. Does that do anything for me? That's a D20. I'll give you an inspiration. I love that Blaine is just like putting his arms out and just like, Gus, Gus, Gus.

I spent all my allowance already. It's so good. I'll give you my next two inspiration die. For inspiration today. Okay, well, that being said, I was running away. Yeah. I'm going to, and I have, I have, Is Chip able to run still? He's got a little limp. I'm going to limp, but I have 40 walking speed. I'm going to just get as far away from this guy as possible and put everyone else between me and him. I like to think you're cowering behind Elga. Because,

It's okay, Chip. Egg is the smallest and toughest. Chip is left. Chip is actually left and is gone. He has a boo-boo and he's crying. How big is this dome, actually? If he was able to run in Mel's little section and fit inside there with us, it must be pretty big. It's pretty big. And don't forget, there are four frost pillars that seem to be supporting the dome that you could hide behind as well. So if you take down one of the pillars, you take down the dome? It's about 55 to 60 feet across.

That's pretty big. Because you all were in the middle. Yeah. Okay. Because you all were in the middle and I said Lewis was about 25 feet away. Okay. By that math, I have enough to run to the wall, slam on it, say, please God, let me out. Just figure out that that doesn't work and then hide behind a frost pillar. There you go. In my head, I'm imagining those videos of like cats when they're stuck outside and they're just doing that like constant paw at the window. Wow. Wow.

What's up, Stinky Fam? It's me, Barbara, here to chat with you guys directly. You know, we've been talking about first membership for a while and how important it is to us. Well, we cannot stress it enough. We would not be able to do what we do without the support of our first members, which are essentially like our patrons.

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And with that, I am done. That was a good start to the fight. 24 damage is... I thought it was like 37. No, he did 24. Yeah, which is like a bad... That's a bad day for Mateed, let's be honest. And for you, Olga. I mean, wait till Mateed's turn and then I screw up every single roll I do. I hope you don't. I hope you outdo me.

Well, Elga, it's your turn. What do you want? What do you think in here? Well, I want to rage first. Do it. Despite all her rage, she's still just a bat in a cage. Still raging. Pretty good. Correct. And then, did you say trying to break the manacles would be an action, bonus action? We'll give it as a bonus. But I can't do two bonus actions because raging is a bonus. Oh. Correct. You could try it as an action. Nervous.

I have a thing called cloak of displacement. I want to call back to that, which gives people attacking me disadvantage. Does that, is that still a thing? Does it give you disadvantage or does it? While you wear this cloak, it projects an illusion that makes you appear to be standing in a place near your actual location, causing any creature to have disadvantage on attack rolls against you.

I'm so sick. I will take the hit because I didn't call that out sooner. No, let's roll. I'm not going to reroll damage. We'll just get rid of the... If it still hits, we'll just get rid of the crit damage. Okay. I'll take that. I'll take that deal. You're a fair dungeon mister. 19.

19. So it still would have hit, but that's not a crap. You get 24 points back. Oh, that's a lot of points. And that's right, John. I almost got a 20 again. I was so close. The fact that you were that close. And it's even higher damage. Remember the last episode when Gus was all sad because he kept missing us on everything and those like close guys kept dropping. Yeah, it's not great. All right. I'm sorry. So that was a quick like, woo, temporal displacement. It feels a little better. Oh,

Elga, you're trying to decide what to do about these manacles. Yeah, could I actually not rage and instead as my bonus action just try to break these manacles? Sure. Because I feel like I can't really do much if I'm shackled. Probably smart. As a...

weapon wheeling person. You want to like try to do like a strength check and break out of them? Yeah. Okay. How does Elga do that? Like stomping on them or like trying to tear your arms apart? I think she just tries to pull her arms apart and while she's doing it she goes She just gnawed at it like a feral little creature she is. Yeah, make a strength check. Okay.

Dang it. It's a 10. I'm going to use my inspiration back. Okay. Smart. Okay, cool. 22. Oh, okay. That's much better. Yeah. You, you know, begin almost like a stretch, you know, when you like wake up in the morning and you put your arms in different directions, but you do it with such power and force that you're able to shatter the ice. So easily. Yeah. And free yourself. Okay, cool. And let's see. Okay.

I'm trying to decide. I have this new item, the Harmonica of Hotness, which casts, it produces a flame with blue fire. So I wonder if using that in the situation we're in to melt the dome or hurt the snow beast somehow. How are we all bound up exactly? Like, what are we attached to? Is it those pillars? You're attached to each other. To each other. Yeah. Yeah.

So now I'm not attached to you guys anymore. I think it's only Barney and Mateed now. But are we attached to anything else besides each other? No. No. Barney and Mateed are just attached to each other and that's all that's left. I would, if I could give advice, I would say don't worry about the fire and worry about taking down Lewis. But that's my opinion. Yeah. Okay. Well, I do have that in case we figure something out to do with. It feels like we have a pressing engagement in the form of a giant ice dude in front of us. Yes, definitely. And.

I'm also going to run up to him with my great axe of gaining and swipe at him. Left or right? Left. That's not a match. Is it 17? That hits. Yeah, that's got to hit.

Way to go. And I'm not raging, so I don't do like bonus to this. Correct. But that's eight points of damage. Pretty good. And then I just want to check something because I'm also wearing something new. The shawl of sanguine. Cape. Yes. You said it was a cape. It is a cape, but it's called the shawl. I know. I know. I was being cheeky because you said it was a cape to you. It's got a couple features to it. Okay. There's only something when I'm raging and I'm not raging, so I'm not going to worry about that right now.

But I am going to hit again with my great axe. Okay. For my second attack. And that is a 22, which hits, I imagine. Yes. Doing nine points of damage. So that's a total of 17 points of damage from the barbarian. Yes. I think that's all I could do since I used my bonus to break those shackles. So I'm done. Okay. Are you sure you don't want to proc an attack of opportunity? Could be fun.

I mean, the shawl that I have now, it says when a creature hits you with an attack, you can expend a charge and use your reaction to bind your vitality to the attacker and force them to share your pain. Don't do it. It's not worth it. The attacker takes damage equal to the damage you took. I'd wait until you're raging for that one, personally. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, Chip. Thank you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Thank you, Chip. That was very nice. And just for clarity, that is when you get hit.

Yeah. So I'm saying like if I provoked an attack of opportunity. Yeah. And since it uses a reaction, that would mean that in that turn, you would not have an attack of opportunity. Like you could not make an attack of opportunity because an attack of opportunity is also a reaction. Gotcha. D&D rules for beginners. Well, for everyone. D&D rules. Was that it? You said that was it for you, Elka? Yeah.

Okay, it's the the crones turn the blue one. She's uh, wait, they're in here. They're outside the dome She's still by the table. She's like clapping and hopping foot-to-foot laughing. That's your action She's like a like a bigger salacious crumb from a return of the Jedi She pauses

Looks around and then begins laughing again. A little awkward. We have them right where we want them. Well, speaking of which, Barney, it is your turn after Barney is Mateed. Can I do a free action to ask the giant why he's attacking us? I don't know if that... Yeah, I mean, I'll let you do it. Just ask Barney, say what you would want to say. Lois, why are you fighting us? We have a gift for you.

Oh. That made me genuinely laugh. Make me a wisdom check, please, Barney. 16. Okay, now make me a persuasion check. Well, we'll call it a deception check instead. I could have a gift. Okay, make a persuasion check with disadvantage. That could have been anybody. Leave that in the edit. Obviously.

Otherwise, I would have done it away from the microphone. 16. That was good. 16 and 17. You talk to Louis, but you also, you remember something from the last time you saw Louis. Something that you all realized. You recognize an all-consuming anger in his eyes that you see every now and then in a party member, a fellow party member of yours. Can you figure that out? That makes them very difficult to reason with.

Mateen, he's got the same curse that you have. Fantastic good looks. Is that what you're talking about? So he's not necessarily listening or carrying. Well, it's not that he's under a spell. I think he's raging. I can hear him. He's saying bat over and over again. No, that's just me. My voice sounds deep and echoey inside this ice change bar. But.

So he's not really, his mind's not really open to discussions. I can't remember all the details of Rage because I've never played a Barbarian. How do you get around? How do you circumnavigate a Rage? I mean, you have it stop, make it stop fighting. You have to give him damage, I think, right? No, that helps it Rage. You avoid damage? Yeah, it doesn't attack or it doesn't do damage for a full turn.

No, but if you damage him. Yeah. That makes him angrier. Yeah. Like that works into the rage. Wait, do I have that too? Yeah, like you need to either take damage or attack every turn or your rage goes away. Normally you attack every turn, which is why it's not an issue. Gotcha. Guys, we need to attack with love.

Yeah, basically, if he hasn't attacked any of us or taken damage. Barney, kiss him. Go on, Barney. Can I move? Am I like... You're manacled. I'm manacled, so I can't move. Yeah, you're stuck with Mateed. I'll say Mateed's turn is right after yours. If Mateed wants to share some movement with you, we can...

I'll let you all coordinate that. I still have Spirit Guardians going, right? A little collaboration. Because it's 10 minutes, but we got ambushed immediately during that fight. It's still going on. It is concentration. You didn't do anything else that requires concentration? He hasn't had a turn. Although, were you joking when you said you were making your hut?

That's what I was just thinking about. Yeah, preparing a hut. Does that... Let me see. Is that a great concentration? Because if so, then I did do that. Let me read up on that. Well, because saying you were, like, preparing it is kind of amorphous, right? But let me look at what the hut says real fast. This is what happens when we joke too much. Can you guys take this show seriously? Just like this thing.

Yeah, sorry. Takes a minute to cast. That's the downside. Normally, I'd say it doesn't, but the fact that the hut takes a minute and you said you were preparing makes me think you would focus on that more. Well, I was doing it as a ritual, if that matters. Oh, that does matter. I'll say you still have it up. Why not? You still have spirit guardians. What a generous guy. That is generous. I'll take it. Thank you. What a kind dungeon mister. Can we get closer? My guardians are spirited. Yeah.

What? I'm trying to talk to Mateed. Oh. I didn't know. Can we go closer? How does that coordinate where I can move with Barney? Your turns are right next to each other. I'll say if you do want to use some of your movement right now, you can use it. It'll just eat up the movement from your turn as well. Sure, why not? Yes. And? So how far away can we move than 15 feet? Yeah, he's currently about 25, 30 feet away, so you just need to move.

15 feet up, we'll call it. I've decided I want to do something specific with this movement because of who Matit is and what you're asking. We have to dance that way. Yes. Barney, do you accept this dance? Dance, dance, dance. Of course. Two performance checks. Ballroom style, I lead. Okay. I pull out my castanets. You have castanets. Should I take out my harmonica? Yeah. A little 17.

19. It's beautiful ballroom dancing. They gracefully glide across the frozen floor. It's like the one part of the Haunted Mansion when you look down and all the ghosts are dancing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Or true lies. Or true lies. I was trying to make a reference to two ghosts, but... Yeah, true lies. Yeah. Arnold and who's that? Jamie Lee Curzer dead the entire movie. If you watch the director's cut, it makes sense. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

So if we get... Can we get within 15 feet of it? Absolutely. Okay, we get within 15 feet of it, in which case the spirit guardian's procs. So it happens when they come up and then at the top of each of its turns? When the creature enters the area for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there. So yeah, this would be a turn. So this...

Yeah, okay. This is an investment. That's how I would use it in Baldur's Gate 3. I'd move my cleric up, hurt people, then on their turn it would proc again and they'd try to run away. Sometimes if I had to move it, I'd go in and out. So great. Barbara was there, she knows. Oh, I remember. If we can make a wisdom saving throw. The Barbarian Hill Giant is not very wise, to the surprise of no one.

It's a DC 17, right? Yes. It's got a plus one on wisdom, so I need a 16 or better. I rolled a nine, which is a 10. Yay. Okay. That's 16 points of radiant damage. You're not nice. No. You almost murdered Chip at the top of this. I took it back. I mean, yeah, he was gracious enough. Then can we take a step back? Yeah. Yeah.

Just take it one step back. So we're now slightly out of the range. You have to ask Mateed too. You're doing the thing that I did. Yeah. So we, on the dance, we, yeah, we dance back just like a foot or two so that we're the hill giant. You gotta move five in D&D. Okay. We do a step back, a five foot step back.

And then can I use my bonus action to, uh, how much damage you take? Boy. Oh, that was, I think nine. It was above 19. Wasn't it? 19. How much was it? No, I don't remember. It was 17 or so. I started out with 39. I'm at 26. Cause you added 24 to your final number. So what was your final number? I'm at 26 right now. So you're hurt. Yeah. Okay.

Then I'm going to use my bonus action to do Appeal of Alleviation. You regain 1d6 plus 5 hit points to two creatures I can see. You roll or I roll? I will roll it. He's the one yelling.

Kind old man. Thank you. You get extra pudding on your next meal. Are you the cook of our party? Oh, yeah. I love it. Let him cook. So that's three plus my spellcasting ability modifier, which is five. So that's eight. And that goes to two people. So I'll go to Chip. And who else needs it? Probably should give it to me. I'm down five HP.

You're down. I'm down five and I'm down eight. Oh, give it to the barbarian. Oh no. Six, six. Give it to the barbarian. But also like I have the most HP. Okay. Let the barbarian win first. I'll do it to, to my wonderful dance partner. Uh, and this is heels or is this timber? Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Ah,

It's like you took a little sip of your favorite drink. Like a cup of Joel. Or a cup of Joseph. Nice, nice. That's the best. And then I say, take me away, Mateed. Like as in dance. It's both a dance, but also a suggestion that if Mateed wanted to fly. Yeah.

And then I end my turn. Jake, get away. All right. And that segues perfectly into Mateed's turn. Man, I don't know how you follow that up. Or I'm going to mess him up. Yeah. Well, I'm still attached to a cleric. Yeah.

A very alive cleric. Don't go there. Yeah. Funny enough, I have thieves tools. Hey, you do? I do. I've had them from the beginning. I basically was like, I love, I was jealous how often Kyborg got to use them. So I added them to my character. This just never had a reason to use them yet. So yeah. Can I, what was it? A dex check? Yeah, it was.

That's only a 12. Would that do it or no? No, that's just a little short of what you need. Can I inspiration dice it? You can try, sure. Sure, why not? Let's just see. I feel like it's not going to pass. Our inspiration dice has been terrible. 23. Okay, all right. Maybe it's just mine. I got to look at inspiration dice. He's projecting. Yeah, you mess around with the lock a bit, and at first it seems like it's really stuck, and you're not sure what's going on with it, and then a vision comes to you of a

one-armed elf using thieves tools willy-nilly. Wow. And you... Don't do it like that. It makes you... It fills you with so much envy that it powers you up and enables you to pick the manacles. Now a good time to plug the fact that we have a Kyborg t-shirt available at store.roosterteeth.com, which is a really awesome, cool shirt.

It is kind of cool seeing people wear my character around. It's an awesome cool shirt for awesome cool people. Yeah. And a Kyborg themed episode of Stinky Dragon Adventures. That you should watch while you wear it. That's probably out right now. Oh, it's been out for a while now at this point. Yeah, at this point. All right, back to the game. Yeah. Sorry.

Perfect timing. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so that's my bonus action. So then I'm going to... Man, what do I want to do? I don't have a bonus action anymore, so I'm kind of limited in what I want to do. Does that technically free Barney too? Barney's still manacled, so he can move freely on his own, but he's restricted in his movements. Yes. Yes.

I'm going to use my, I haven't used it in a bit. Slinging the sandstorms. I'm excited to stand for a second. I'm like, oh, I can stand while we're playing D&D. Like to race back down to the microphone. I'm going to use, I'm actually going to use sandstorm. Duh.

Well, it kind of repeats it for a while. How far am I since we moved back from Lewis? You're probably 20 feet away because Barney said he would move back five feet and then you were 15 feet away to proc the spirit guardians, which means you're about 20 away.

Okay, cool. That's perfect. So what Sandstorm does is it uses an... You may expend three charges of your weapon to create a whirlwind of coarse sand in a 20-foot sphere centered on you. So I need to get... That's 10 feet from him, yeah? Is it a 20-foot sphere? 20-foot sphere. So that's the size of the sphere centered on me, so it's 10 feet radius. Correct, yeah. It's a 10-foot radius.

What's the circumference of that sphere? All creatures of your choice in the area have to make a dexterity saving throw. The DC for the saving throw is equal to 12 plus your proficiency bonus. On a failed save, they take four D8 slashing damage and are blinded until the end of their next turn. On a success, they only take half the damage.

Feels like a good use of just an action for the moment. What is my proficiency? Bonus is plus three, so it's a DC save of 15. DC save. What kind of DC? Dex. Dex save. Dex save. Dex is plus four, so I need 11 or better.

11 or better. You can do it. I didn't do it. Curses. I rolled a 7, which is an 11. Okay. Then I will roll 48. Do better than my heckish rebuke. Yeah, 24. That's better. I declare a thumb war. You know what? I don't know if you remember this about Lewis. I don't.

I think this made you all mad last time. Oh, he's got that, uh, legendary resistance. Yeah. He succeeded on the safe. Don't you? No. Okay. What does he have again? We talked about this in an episode of second wind, I believe at the time, if you listen to it, but, uh, sometimes some creatures in D and D have this thing, this ability called legendary resistance, where if they fail a saving throw, they can just succeed it instead. Okay, cool. Uh,

Good reminder, still takes 12 slashing damage. Okay. Ow. Not blinded. Okay, gotcha, gotcha. And I'm 10 feet from him, which is great. And how tall is this dome? So it's got a 30-foot... Oh, God, do I need to do some math? So it's a 30-foot radius. So it's about at the peak in the middle. 30. It's 30 feet. Yeah, high. And then since it's a sphere, it tapers down on the side.

I like that distance because because Lewis is a giant, but a giant in the sense that he's what, like probably like 10 feet tall. Yeah. How big are giants? Giants can be pretty big. So the size category for Lewis is a huge giant. You all, you know, are as humanoids are medium. So, yeah, it's probably about I would say it's probably about 15 feet.

How many Elgos is he? That's about four Elgos, I believe. Yeah, about. Okay. Then I'd get further away from him if I go not up, but away. So I'm going to go. I'm just, he's, he's, where is he in the dome? Is he centered? No.

At the southern portion of the dome. Oh, okay. Then, yeah, I have... God, how much movement did we do in our dance, Chris? Well, how far were we? You moved up 15 and back 5, so you used 20. Okay, so I have... No, I was about to say I have 20 walking speed, but what's better than walking, everybody? Flying. Flying. Oh, yeah.

Show me. Flying. Yeah. Swimming. I have a 65 feet flying speed, so I'm going to go all the way to the far back of the dome away from him. 65 foot flying. So I could go back 40 feet if I wanted to, but I'll just get back about 20 feet from him just so I'm not too far from him. Okay. So I'm about 30 feet from this giant.

I can jump really far too, but I just never do it. Yeah, because you can fly. Yeah. That looks so graceful though, seeing Mateed just go, wah. Then I jump. Like anti-gravity. Yeah. I'll save the last dance. I don't know. Barney looks off at Mateed longingly. One more dance. Dun, dun, dun.

That's my thing. Your music. Some Roxanne from Mulanru starts intensifying. You don't have to turn on the red light. So based on what you... I'm taking a second here because you did something there, John, that really gave me pause and made me think about whether or not I should warn you all about something. And I'm deciding to be benevolent, so I'm going to warn you.

Since Lewis is so big and his weapon is so big, you know, normally attacks of opportunity only proc within five feet of a creature. Lewis procs attacks of opportunity within 10 feet. However, he had already attacked Chip, so he does not have another attack of opportunity. So you were only 10 feet away, Mateed, so he would have attack of opportunity you there when you were there.

when you left, but he's already used his attack of opportunity. You're welcome! Do you only ever have one attack of opportunity? It's a reaction. Per turn. I'm telling you now, in case this comes up again in a future round in this combat right now. Smart. Noted. Then I'm safe.

And dancing like a fiend. They're a maniac, maniac on the floor. It's like ice dancing. Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, is Mateed like ice skating? Yeah. Yeah. I got little talons on my feet. I was going to say like that. Make like little blades. Yeah. That's really cool. I want to pay an art of that. They lift up like they're dancing on the ground and then lift up and begin like dancing into the air. Yeah. So graceful.

That's so cool. It's beautiful, okay? You're beautiful. Thank you. All right, so it's Louis' turn. And Louis is a... He doesn't need a turn. Louis is a simple giant, a simple raging giant.

And Lewis tries to squish whoever's closest. And at the moment, I believe that's Elga. Yay. Yay. Well, she's one raging. No, she's not raging. Oh, no. Yeah. That's okay. That's okay. First thing Lewis does is pick up a giant rock and throw it at you, Elga. Pidding. Pidding.

AC26. Rocks! Yeah, that hits. Man!

That song helped me figure out I was a bisexual. Fun fact. I guess I shouldn't have had us move out of the range of spirit guardians. I don't know why I did that. I rolled a one on damage. That's only four points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. He used all of his luck on his fake attack against Blaine. There is some cold damage associated with that as well. And that is eight. I'm resistant to cold damage. So you take half of that. You take four.

Really? So a total of five. Yeah. Total of five? Yeah. Between the two attacks. It's one plus four. I was curious. What's the source of your cold resistance? It is my fang frost. My dagger. The dagger. Yeah. It gives me resistance to cold. But I will give it to Chip someday. One day. Someday. One day. If he is good.

Louis roars and closes the distance swinging a pickaxe at you, Elga. And wouldn't he take... He'd enter in the... Oh, yeah. He would enter the spirit guardians again. Ah, dum-dum bubble gum. Yeah, yeah. I guess I'll roll my save first. 17? 17. Oh, because you wanted to hurt the little child. Oh, God.

Okay, well half you still take nine damage. Yeah, I'm radiant. Yeah, thank you for the audience know you're dabbing No, actually Gus dabs a lot, okay Bill Gates dabbing once and that's been my inspiration. Yeah. All right, so half of that nine points of radiant damage. Oh

He still continues his charge, running straight at Elga. Again? No, it's the continuation of that. With swinging the pickaxe. Ooh, hitting AC 27 again. Yep. Doing... 17.

17 points of piercing damage. Could I also use a charge of my shawl? Oh, yeah. We just talked about this. My shared suffering. Yeah. So you share in my pain. The attacker takes damage equal to the damage you took. We actually have enough things now to be like improvisationally helpful and useful in combat. Somewhat. Yeah. I've been kind of lamenting the fact that

Chip's very weak, but I have a lot of abilities that would allow me to get out of damage. Yeah. Which is nice. Like, Hellish Rebuke is actually a lot of possible damage. Yeah, except for when you roll four. That's why I said possible. Yeah. Lewis roars and says, Little one go squish. And big ones also go same time. So little me.

Nice comeback, Elga. Thank you. It's Chip's turn, then after Chip. So you took 17 points too? Yes, I did. And then after Chip is Elga. Hey, it's me. It's Chip Ainey. Pleasure to see you. I want to start out by using my cunning action to hide. Ooh. Into the shadows. Ooh la la. With Alec Baldwin. Do I roll a stealth check?

Yes. Okay. I have advantage on that because of the sneakers of Lost Souls. It's a 15 and a 25. Okay. I made my roll. And how did that go for me? Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Do I need to do? Okay. As far as you know, you're sneaking. You're the worst. How is Louis looking? Very big and very strong. Okay.

He'll never tell us how much HP a character has. Sure. I don't think we've done a ton to Louis so far. As Captain America says, I could do this all day. All right, nerd. I have a feeling we have to do something else. I'm going to... You've done a good amount of damage. He's hurt, but he's a beefy boy. Okay, I want to look at this pillar that I'm hiding behind. And can I ascertain whether or not this is a structure? Is this a load-bearing beam? Ha ha ha!

Chip was in the volunteer fire department, correct? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Chip understands like load-bearing walls and like what would cause a building to fall down. He should have an advantage on those. Yeah, why don't you make an investigation check with advantage? Okay. There we go. Let's see. Well, that's a six. Let me rub my eyes a little bit. And that's a 16. Yeah, got to get the blood out from the eyes from taking all that. You know, normally you don't deal, or I guess in your dealings with the fire department,

Brigade, you didn't deal with dome structures like this. However, you do believe that these four pillars are helping to bear at least some of the load of the dome.

I was going to attack Lewis, but I'm wondering if that's even worth it. If I should just... What is it? Let's talk this through. What is it you think this dome is doing for Lewis? Keeping us trapped in here. But, you know, I guess that's true. I guess I don't know if it's powering him. I don't think that that's a thing. With that, I'll just attack him. I feel like there's another... There's like an ulterior mission thing that we need to do, but I can't figure out what that is.

We never can. We did see that there was a bunch of animals on one side. There's a bunch of like body parts, specimens. Chip, make me an Arcana check. Arcana. And then to the south. Yeah, mama. Louis. Louis, right. She's now in here with us. 16. You're rolling really good, huh? She's got a plus four in Arcana. That's impressive. That's not bad. Intelligence. Yeah. Is Chip an egghead? Are you proficient in Arcana?

I might have, you know, I might have been in the... What's the top 10% of your graduating class?

Magnum cum laude? I don't know. I didn't want to brag, guys, but yeah, I was a bit of an egghead. So, you know, looking at the pillars has made you look at the dome to try to think about how this all plays together, right? And, you know, when you're looking at the dome and trying to think about what's holding the structure up and how is this all working, you have the realization that someone must be concentrating to maintain this dome of ice.

And you believe that it must be one of the crones. Okay. It's probably the one that's looking at us all serious. Oh, yeah. Make a perception check now, Chip. This is not my best of roles. Here we go. Come on, perceptive.

Luckily, this was a very low roll. Again, this is all one thing leads to another in this thought process and in this line of thinking. So you look over at the crones and you realize that only the blue skinned one is still there. The green one has disappeared and is no longer standing there at the table. Blue skin was the one staring at us. The green was the one staring at us. The blue one was the one like... Eating. Why aren't you eating your food? Exactly.

She's not there. She's not eating anymore. No. The green one is just gone. The green one's gone. The green one was never eating. Yeah, that was the one that was staring at you all. Great. Does that mean that they're in here somewhere? Oh, God. Oh, God.

And then to answer, I kind of step back and to go kind of go off of what Barbara was saying. There's not necessarily like one right or wrong way to approach a lot of these encounters. There's many different things you could try to do. So it's not like you're necessarily doing the wrong thing or there's something you should be doing. It's more of a third ways around certain things. There probably are better ways and worse ways. I'm sorry, John. Go ahead. I was going to say, for instance, no matter how many hints they try to give us,

that the big villain that we're fighting is poisoned by a rock near us that we could use. We don't need to do that ever in order to defeat the big baddie. They could even name the entire arc of that campaign after the big baddie's weakness, and we don't have to do it. I'm making a reference to Paralites Poison from Infinite's game. Yeah, I got it this time. Yeah. Yeah.

We are a bunch of eggheads on this podcast. Yeah. Not a bunch of magnum cum laude. I was a very average student. A bunch of cracked eggs is what we are. Couldn't get into Yampard. Can I attempt to get out of the ice dome? I'm going to attempt to get out. He's just taking his little arm blade and just ice picking it. Like, ach, ach, ach, ach, ach, ach.

I mean, I think that honestly, that's like I'm looking through my items right now and I think that that's the best that I can do. Don't you have a bomb? A bomb bomb? Bomb, bomb, bomb. You can't say bomb on an airplane. What? This dome. Is it like are there bars? No.

It's just a solid. Oh, I saw it. It's solid. Don't you have a thing called a bomb bomb? I do have a bomb bomb. I thought you did. John knows your inventory better than you do. Guys, I'm having a bomb bomb. This is something that I procured way back with Weegore. Yeah, that came from Weegore. It does provide a little bit of...

an explosion. Uh-huh. In fact, actually, you saw Uyghur use one in your combat when you all fought him. Right. It's not like a giant bomb, not a giant explosion. Right. It's pretty small. I want to put it up to the wall or the pillar? I'm going to put it up to the wall and see if it makes a big enough hole that I can crawl out.

With my little tiefling buns. Sure. Okay. I'm going to do that. I'm going to take it out of my inventory. Goodbye, Bomb Bomb. Bomb Bomb Bomb. Bomb Bomb. What relevant roles would you like me to have? Or do I just let her rip? Also, there's a wick that I need to light. I still have that candle from earlier.

That's being held by my tail. So you toss the bomb. Oh, yeah. Do you toss it or do you like try to adhere it up to the side of the ice? I like toss it into the corner, like where the wall meets the ground. I just want to tuck it right up to that and then maybe use this. I'm still hiding. And then I kind of want to use...

the pillar as cover just in case the blast radius. Okay. You toss the Abombomb over to the edge of the dome, the ice dome, and it detonates spewing out acid everywhere.

Getting acid on, you know, it's not fire, but it's still acid. Not perfect for the situation, but it still helps. And it does seem to weaken a little bit of the dome, but it doesn't like blast clear through. Okay. I have some movement seed and I also have Glurbo gloves, which gives me acid resistance. Yeah. I mean, I guess this would be an armor strike and that was kind of my action. Is there anything I can do with the remainder of my turn to help push this process along? What would happen if Chip... I'm asking...

the dungeon mister this. Is there a version of this where Chip would just run straight at this weakened portion of the dome and just try to Kool-Aid man through this thing? Yeah, you know that one comic still from, I think it's the Dark Knight Returns where Batman is like in a ball and just blasts through a wall. Is he facing forward? Is he facing backwards? We don't know. Hmm.

Sorry, that's a comic book thing. Everybody looks at that because it's a silhouette and everyone always has an argument of whether he's facing forward or backwards because you can't tell. Sorry. A little deep cut. Yeah, yeah, we could try to make this work. You got to help me figure this out, though. Like, how would we do this canonically? Like, you try to ball up and somersault your way in. Yeah, I push off the pillar to offer me some additional momentum. I run and I just put

all of my weight into as small and concentrated of a ball to just blast through this hole as possible. This is great. Yeah, let's figure out some rolls to see if we can make this happen. Roll for backflip. Let's. Yeah, make a, what is that? Acrobatics check. Acrobatics. Here it comes. You got it. Japani. Wow, wow, wee, wow. That's a 21. That can spring. Jump. Great. And now let's figure out how much damage or what kind of damage would that be if

So you're able to, you know, successfully tuck yourself and get yourself in the correct orientation to approach the wall. Groovy. And you hit it. It's not moving. It doesn't have any dexterity. It can't get out of the way. I don't know. Make me like, what kind of damage do you do for an unarmed strike? Like, I'll tell you what, you're pretty inventive here. Let's call it, roll a D8. See what kind of damage you do to it. D8. Watch out.

-Pretty good. -Yeah, you hit it pretty firmly. Again, it cracks even more, but it's not quite enough to burst all the way through. There is definitely a weak spot in the wall right here though. -Okay. -It looks pretty weak. -I like this progress. -I think I've eaten up enough time. I guess if I have any remaining movement speed, back up to the pillar and still be hiding from Lewis, but prep myself for another run. -I like it. -Great. Elga, you're up. Then after Elga is an enemy and then Barney. -I would like to rage, please.

Rawr!

What form are you taking? I'm going to take... Question. If I take form of the beast with claws, I guess maybe you could help me out with this one. It says each of your hands transforms into claws, which you could use as a weapon. It deals 1d6 slashing damage on a hit. Once on each of your turns when you attack with the claw using the attack action, you can make one additional claw attack as part of the same action. If I have two attacks per action, does that mean I get four claw swipes?

No, because those specific attacks, those are attack actions you can take. So, well, let me think here. So you would attack with a claw. You get another one. And then if I attack with a claw again, do I get another? Oh, yeah. Maybe the phrase is... It only says once on each of your turns when you attack with a claw using the attack action, you can make the additional attack. Oh, okay.

So you can only use that ability once per turn. You can only use that ability one time. So you can get three claw attacks, though. So I'd get three claw attacks? Correct. And that would proc rage, right? Each time? She's already raging. I'm raging now. No, no, but I'm sorry. The bonus damage. You're plus two or whatever. Yeah. You're raging. Yeah, it would. Yeah. Okay. No, yeah. Just curious. So I'm going to take claws. The claw. Ah.

Actually, I don't know if it's worth it because I mean my axes do so much more. Is the tail better? The tail's pretty good. Yeah. It's just so creepy though. I'm going to do the tail. All right. I think Chip doesn't like that. I'm like you, Chip. Hey, buddy. Hey. Hey.

High five. Can we define the kind of tail? Because I have like a little demon, like one that's like slender. Like a devil tail? Yeah, a little devil tail, a little nightcrawler tail. I'm imagining mine's like a lizard tail. See, that's horrifying to me. Yeah, exactly. It's like a full limb. Does it have hair, like little blonde hair? No, I imagine it's kind of like a scaly kind of lizard tail. Oh.

But if it was hairy, it'd be like Goku, you know? Yeah. Or a lizard tail. Goku has a tail? He does. Goku had a tail. All Saiyans had tails. I've never seen Dragon Ball Z. My God.

What is wrong with you? I'm too old. It wasn't out when I was a kid. Are you kidding me? That was the perfect, you were the perfect age group. When did it come out? Dragon Ball. The 90s. Yeah, I think I was already in college when that came out. I still watch cartoons in college. Hey, Blake. I have a question about. I don't know if you know this, but Gus is too cool. Okay? You're right. You're right, guys. So I still have some of these scrolls, the spell scrolls that we found. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

For the hallucinatory terrain scroll, how much of an area does that affect? So that is a spell in D&D. It's a fourth level illusion. The target is a 150 foot cube. Okay.

Okay. So pretty big size. Because I'm trying to think if like... That's a cool spell. It's cool. I'm just wondering too, because I feel like one of these crones is concentrating on this ice dome. And I wonder if like hallucinatory terrain would make them lose their concentration. Probably just physical attacks. Probably just physical, right? Not like actual... Because then they have to make constitution checks. Okay. Okay.

Okay, well, I'm gonna hold off on that for now, and I'm just gonna try to attack the snow beast again instead. The giant. Snow giant. Yes. Great acts of gaining. That's what I'm gonna use.

You say snow beast and I think of white winter all over again. Snow beast. Snow beast. Okay, snow giant. That's what it is? Frost giant. Frost giant. I'll get it one day. Both words wrong. I love it. So I'm going to run up to and swing my great axe of gaining. Oh, gosh. I don't think that hits. It's a 12. No, that's a little shy. Man. Okay, I'm going to try again. Do it again. Do it again. Please. Oh, my God. 11. Do it worse. That's even worse. Gosh. And I don't have...

Did you attack recklessly? I have to say I do. I keep forgetting. Man, I'm so bad at being a barbarian. Gus, I heard Barbara say reckless. I'm pretty sure you reckless attack. I recklessly attack for 20. Yeah. That does it. Nice. Doing. Oh, my God.

-Rolled a one. -Seven plus two, because I'm raging, nine. -Yes, you rolled a one. It still does nine points of damage though. -Okay. -The voice cracks while you're calling it out. -Hi. -Hey, Gus. -So sad. -I know it's past my turn, but do I perceive like an old silk hat, corncob pipe, button nose, two eyes made out of coal? If we took the hat off of him,

On Lewis. No, you do not perceive that. Dang. That don't work. Frosty loved using a pickaxe. So I successfully just hit him, right? Correct.

So I'm also going to expend another charge of my shawl called Frightening Frenzy. When you successfully hit a target while raging, you could expend a charge and strike fear into the heart of your enemy, forcing them to make a DC 13 wisdom saving throw. That's fun. On a failure, the target becomes frightened for one minute. The target can reroll the saving throw at the end of its turn. All right. So I need a 12 or better to make that. 12 or better. 20. Ooh.

Well, lots of times things go very badly for my guys. So I'm very happy that it's not going so bad this time. He's doing pretty well this time. Okay. I guess that's my turn. All right. But I still got my tail. You got your tail. Is it burning? No, it's a skitch. Oh, right. She doesn't seem as happy as before. She's kind of looking with concern at what Chip's been doing to the dome. Oh, no. Don't look at me. I'm hiding. Look away. Don't perceive me. Hmm.

Get your eyes off of me. She seems to be leaning a bit on her staff and kind of like, you know, almost like leaning forward, trying to get a closer look at the dome without actually stepping any closer, like from a distance, just kind of like leaning into it and peering, looking at the cracks that are forming. Barney, you're up. Then after Barney is Matee.

How far away is that hole in the wall from me? From where you are, I would picture that's probably because Chip was over by the pillar, then you went over there. From where you're standing, that's going to roughly be 25 feet or so. And then from that hole, how far away is the lady witch hag? Oh, yeah. She's outside of the dome, which would put her like another 15 to 20 feet. Okay. Okay.

Well, then I will do that. I'm going to go move along, scoot my way towards, what's her name? What's her name? Skitch. Skitch. Skitch. She's the blue one.

Yeah, Skitch is the blue one, yes. You heard her call the green one Shivy. Skitch and Shivy. So, yeah, I'll scoot along towards that way and get within, I guess, 15 feet of her just to start. Okay. Wait, she's not in the dome with us. No, she's outside. Yeah. He's just trying to get closer from the inside of the dome. Oh, they're going to do a magic off. Staring at each other's eyes.

Arcana, Arcana. So when I get within 15 feet of her, then it should proc my Spirit Guardian. That's fun. Let me double check the map just because it's kind of a...

zigzagging way to get there, but yeah, you're still within 15 feet. Yeah. And that works through the dome? Well, I left the dome too. Wait, maybe I missed that. What do you mean you left the dome? I thought I went through the hole. He hasn't made a hole. The hole is just a weak spot. Can I get within 15 feet of her just by getting up close? Yeah, if you move up north to the northern part of the dome, yeah. Then I'll do that. Yeah, and it would go through. Then, yeah, do you want to do a saving throw? Yes. In fact, she's going to do a couple of things, but let me do the saving throw first. Uh-oh. Might be distracted. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

That's a nine, so she fails. Okay. Actually, what she does at that point, once, you know, the spirit guardians start coming close, like I said, she was leaning forward on that cane of hers, on that staff. Yeah. Actually, that's what I said. She sees it coming, and she lets out, like, a blood-curdling scream. Uh-huh.

And with that, the dome of ice like dissipates and drops. And she like leaps up high into the air out of the way, kind of a little further off to the east. That's scary. Kill them, Lewis. Darklings, get them. Did I get her within the range of it? No, she would have jumped out. How far out? Probably like another 20 feet back.

Say, hey, you did a good job, though, because you got the dome down so we can skedaddle on out of here. I will say, not to, like, I'm not trying to, like, pull the wool out from under you. She was getting ready to do that. That's why I said she was leaning forward on the staff. This was her escape, and she was definitely anticipating something like this. Yeah, if she just barely jumped out, I had a plan, but... As she's screaming, like, in mid-scream, you hear the scream stop. Kill them, little...

And she falls to the ground. Oh. Shivy has reappeared behind her and seemingly knocked her out, hit her over the head. Oh. Whose side are you on? Luis, Darklings, stand down. Release them. Huh? Wait a second. She closes the distance and runs up to you all and says, There's no time to explain. You must leave immediately. As my spirit guardians proc and hit her. Don't hit her. She ran up to me. No, no, no.

Gus, do I recognize this person? Can I see through any sort of disguise? Make a perception check. Okay. I know my strongest. I can do this. Come on, Chip. You must perceive. Perceive. 14. Porky, real fast before I get to that. She failed her save. If you want to roll damage, I'll let that. It has to proc because I have to designate creatures that it's not going to be affected by. She's not on the list. Yeah. No, roll your damage. She'll take it. She does take the damage. She's an ally. Hey, she should have said it before.

She did she said stop see no, but I have to designate it before I cast it Yeah, he has to say who's not affected at the top got it got it 15 Well I can now Oh

Sorry, you were saying that you wanted to free us? Yeah, oh, uh, your role. Um, no, uh, you don't recognize her. You feel like you would definitely recognize someone that looks like this with this this visage. Hmm. Okay. She points to the nearest exit, which is, uh, it's like at the roots of the dying tree. There's an underwater passage that leads to the surface. Take Louise with you. He'll obey you. I've commanded him to. Oh. Oh, Louis, we're friends now. You

You must hurry. Sketch will wake up at any moment. Find the headless horseman. Here. She pulls something out from her robe and hands it to you, Chip, since you're looking at her. Okay. This hag-eye will help you find him. Okay. What's a hag-eye? It's like a guy that laughs. It's like a hag-eye. Hag-eye? Oh, hag-eye. Got it. Yes. It's an eye? Of a...

I'm a hag. Okay. Can I put my blurbo gloves on and just kind of delicately hold it? Thank you. It's a magic item that hag covens can create. It looks like a real eye, but it's kind of hard. It's almost like a marble, I would say. Like a glass eye? Maybe kind of, yeah. I'm adding it.

And it says, "A real eye coated in varnish and often fitted to a pendant or other wearable items. A hag can freely use an action to see what the eye sees, but someone that isn't a hag may attempt to use the hag eye, make a DC 13 arcana to see what the beholder sees. A hag eye has AC 10, 1 HP, and dark vision with radius of 60 feet."

Yep. So I can basically like toss this in like a little drone. Is this Rainbow Six Siege? Yeah. Cool. You can call in a hack strike. Ah, nice. Hurry. Find the headless horseman. Okay. Why are you helping us? I will explain. I promise. But we just don't have time right now. Okay. Okay. You better not be my wife in disguise. Okay. Bye-bye.

Elga takes off. All right. Metis does too. With a splash, bubbles of murky green water obscure the way for a moment, but then clears, revealing an underwater tunnel within the cluster of roots.

A few moments of swimming and splash, the cold breeze of Parish once again offers its chilly embrace, this time adding a sharp shiver thanks to damp clothes. Poo poo water. All around is the inside of a putrescent tree with blackened bark that stinks something foul. It wasn't me. But a faint light glimmers from an exit to the south. A quick dash to the opening gives way to an unfamiliar village outside. A village of rotting and decayed hovels on every side.

This must be Covenord. And before long, out from the hovels crawls little girls with matted hair and warts dressed in filthy rags. A few speak in whispers to each other, cocking their heads in curiosity. But as soon as they sniff the air, the throng of children scuttle along the ground straight for you like a horde of spiders. Oh!

Louis kill. Please kill. Find out if Louis kills or not on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Nice day. All right. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back next week with another putrid tale. That was fun. Yeah. And if you're wearing a cloak of displacement, don't forget to use it. Because it could save your life. Very important. And if you're looking for something nice to wear, why don't you check out the store? Store.roosterteeth.com. What's wrong with your voice? I'm Japanie. No, you're not. I am. All right.

All right. Bye. Bye. Hello, everyone. Elga Von Brass, everyone's favorite character in Stinky Dragon. Yes, hello, guys. Thank you very much. So I just want to take some time to shout out our first members. Our first members, they really make this show possible. And, you know, even though they don't give Elga blood on a daily basis, they're still very valuable. So I'd like to shout out Little Tinkers. First, we have Tech Bird. Then we have Gen032.

And then we have a first member whose name I really cannot pronounce but I will do my best, it's... Prime Roafiakionrokas I don't think that is right, but thank you for your patronage And then another name, they're giving Elga all the tough names

And, uh, for hire! Spelled very cool. And then LostArtTraveler0, thank you guys so much for your support. You guys are directly supporting the show and get access to more great content like Second Wind and interact with us on our subscriber-only Discord channels and events and so much more. You know, sometimes, uh,

Some cool people like Barbara Dunkelman show up to those things and chat with the community, so come check us out. For all these benefits and more, just go to stinkydragonpod.com slash first. And yeah, we cannot thank you guys enough for your support. It really does help us make the show possible. Again, that's stinkydragonpod.com slash first. Okay, bye. Elga loves you.

Oh, just kidding, you thought I was done. I'm back for more social media shoutouts. Listeners who interacted with us on social media and Discord had some NPCs named after them in this episode. First we have Skitch the Blue Hag.

Who's named after @jessicasketches on Instagram and it's voiced by the one and only Jessica Visami @jessicavisami on social media And then we have shivythegreenhag by the user on Reddit u/shivyv

ShyVV, I don't know how to pronounce, Elga has trouble with normal English. Voiced by Laurel Rothamel @laurelrothamel on social media. And finally, Louis the Frost Giant, who is named after

Louis D. Kress on Twitter. Thank you guys for interacting with us on social media. You make us feel so loved. And like we have so many friends and that we're so popular. So thank you. The Stinky Dragon channel is managed by Ben Ernst. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Kai Cook. Written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger. With additional editing work by David Saunier. Don't forget to head over to stinkydragonpod.com slash first.

For all things stinky. Uh-oh, stinky. And make sure you tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. What will happen to main character Elga Von Brath? Find out next week. Just watching Chris try to quietly open a candy cane. We all hear it. Do it away from the mic. D&D on microphones. I thought it was being really quiet. He wants his little dream. You're right by the mic.

How long does it take you to open plastic? Let him have his sweets. I'll suck on it.