C01 BONUS - Ep. 03 - Infinight Infirms - The Infinights Greatest Enemy?
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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

This is a Rooster Teeth production.

Compliments to y'all you cosmic horrors. Fly on in to the Stinky Dragon for our latest mind-altering mocktail. All squidding aside, it's a mixture of psychic whisper spice, crushed orange acre, cranial berry juice topped with freshly squeezed slime.

One slurp of this sauce and your tentacles will be tentacool. Previously our adventurers lost their depth perception as they delved into a two-dimensional dimension. They undertook unlocked doors, buckled some swash atop a ship, and tumbled over tumultuous treetops. Now they're back in 3D land but they find their little friend has turned into a formidable foe. Nab some nectar, let's nestle in for a noxious narrative.

Hello everyone, welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I am your Dungeon Master, Gustavo Sorolla, and I'm joined by four interrupting players. No, one. One interrupting player. I'm pretty sure that came from John's microphone. Who's over there? Who's interrupting me? Let's see whose pictures lights up on the little YouTube video. Oh, we have that now, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we go, uh, hey, it's Blaine, I'm playing Kyborg. The, uh... Slimey!

Sorry, we changed it in the sticky dragon adventures to the unbeatable. Yeah, it's unbeatable. It's a joke. Spoiler. Yeah, sorry. What is he in the actual show? Kyborg. Which show? The actual show. The actual show. The mighty. They're both shows.

We're recording right now. Hold on, hold on. Kyborg the Mighty Wood Elf Fighter 16. Wow. You're welcome. You're welcome. Who else do we have over there? I'm Chris Damaris. And I'm playing Gum Gum, the wizard, who's actually a barbarian and a sorcerer. So no wizard at all. Sorcerer supreme. So yes, not a wizard. I am Barbara Dunkelman. I mean, I am...

I know. Why is everybody yelling today? I like it. And I play Bart, aka Bartholomew Finn, the halfling bard level 16 as well. Wow.

I'm John and I'm playing Mud Bramblecrack. He is a druid and it works part-time at NPR. This is NPR News. We talked last week about how it's 80 years in the future. We didn't talk about the barkeep though. Like what, how old is he? What's, what's their story? Is it just an AI recording? Yeah. It's a mixture. The thing with the barkeep is he's telling legends past. Yeah.

Ah, that's right. It's true. So this could be like hundreds of years in the future. Thousands of years. It kind of would still be alive. Probably.

Yeah, so welcome. This is the last part of the infinite one shot, which turned into three parts just because we were having so much fun. I think we did called like a two parter at some point in the previous episodes. It was supposed to be a two parter, but we're having so much fun. Yeah, I like how Gus puts it as we were having so much fun, a.k.a. we just like could not move fast enough through things and we were just slowing everything down.

Removing a dimension really increased the time. You would think with one less dimension to worry about that you'd go be a lot faster. I still don't know what that looks like visually. I was just like nodding my head and going, ah. Gotta go to the north, just up. At this point, you should be able to accommodate for our incompetence.

And know that we're going to... I think he does. See, that's Gus's incompetence. That sounds like victim blaming to me. We're like, you should know we're going to just go slow because of the aforementioned incompetence. Just to help

the mind's eye maybe we'll show some visuals in second wind which is our first only show which you can watch if you're a first member over at roosterteeth.com stinkydragonpod.com you can get more information at stinkydragonpod.com and first membership is basically like our patreon so it directly supports what we do please we have bills to pay please my dog he needs food

He's been feeding his dog human food. I wish when people sign up for FIRST, they could be able to put a little message and just people would be like, for Blaine's dog. But not for Blaine. People are going to go buy just Kyborg merch just so that dog can eat. Yeah.

Poor Dutch. Feed your dog. I know. He does. He does. He takes better care of Dutch than he does of himself. Blaine loves that dog. Gus, what's going on in the show? You all pass through the door and you feel glass envelop you like a thick swirling soup of prismatic colors. Oh, it's one of those grocery room doors. Grocery room doors? It's a grocery store door. Grocery room doors. It didn't open in time.

That's just how his mom talked to him. It's like, Blaine, do you want to go to the grocery room today? Just an automatic door? He thought it was part of his house. I mean, to be fair, most groceries are just one giant room. So it's just a grocery room door. It's technically a studio. What were you saying, Gus? You pass through the door and you feel glass envelop you like a thick swirling soup of prismatic colors.

Yay!

Standing atop the dim stage are the four figures you recognize from your previous two-dimensional bouts. A voice calls out, "D-d-don't hurt me! I would never want to do anything to hurt anyone!" I missed on purpose. It was a warning. A strapping silhouette steps out from behind the shadowy figures, his white mantle gleaming in the moonlight. Little Jimmy. You tackled me, berated me, shackled me, impugned my marksmanship, stole from me, and you think we can just be... friends?

Oh, wow.

A defiled druid and a metallic elf with two left arms. That guy's hot. That was in character. That was in character. Quick, do something to make him turn into Lin-Mir. Lil' Jimmy holds out his hands. His white mantle shifts to jet black.

A bow made of silver dragon scales appears in his right hand, and a skull made of obsidian appears in his left. Hi, little Jimmy. I met the externs in the Elder Pines after they had been attacked and imprisoned by ruthless raiders. They showed me this place, Isla de Venganza, where we found the skull of Ojo Porojo. My brain breaks a little bit when I have to read the Spanish words. Anyway, we had a whole thing about it.

It offers lasting life for those who seek vengeance. Holding up the obsidian skull. No more warning shots. Now you shall taste the wrath my arrows truly bring.

Yo, Jimmy, are you mad? Everyone go ahead and roll initiative. I think he's holding a bit of a grudge, Gum-Gum. Why? I don't know. Apparently he didn't enjoy our encounter many, many years ago. You know, every now and then I like to do some meditation, some affirmations, and just let go of things that have hurt me many,

many years ago. 83 years ago. 19. 17. Oh, I have an advantage. I'm seeing if I have advantage as well. 14. 23. Yeah, you don't need it.

Yeah. Well, we'll see. Remind me again what I have disadvantage on. You should say. Oh, with the little things that we had. Wisdom? Was it wisdom? Oh, right, because we... I think mine's perception. Yeah. Gum Gum, you have disadvantage on wisdom, cyborg perception, Bart and Mud strength because of your bad backs. Wait, are we going to have to fight ourselves? It's your greatest enemy. I mean, unless we swap. My greatest enemy are carbs. Got to keep... Get the breads.

Get the breads! No gum gums. Stop trying to feed me. Tackling a dinner roll out of your hands. Get along with my teeth. Man, I roll terrible for all of my rolls. Oh no. Oh shoot. You guys. This is so genuine. You guys. I'm going to murder you right now. In the game. Pulling back the curtain. It's been a little while since we recorded the other parts of this.

A little while. Yeah. Also, I think we had a fight and I realized after the fact that I have three attacks. Ah. Well, we're going to see how you put those to use because Kyborg, you are up first. After Kyborg is Mud and then Bart. Okie dokie. All four of you go before they do. I hate this. I'm pretty sure. Okay. Okay. Then that's a sign. If we just focus all of our damage on one of them, we might be able to murder one before he gets to go. Which one though?

If you guys want to say Bart for last, I mean, alternative universe Bart. Fart? What is his name? What's your name? It's Brat. Brat? Brat. Brat? Brat. Brat? What's cardboard? Hey, hot elf, who is you?

Just go. We'll get to it. Hot elf, have you seen the grocery room door? All right. I pull out the longer bow of crystallina and I size up my enemies and I go down the line. Where are they? Oh, yeah. Should we? Yeah, you all are kind of in the middle of this hall, but kind of like just south of the middle of the hall, but pretty close to the middle by where the giant cake was from earlier on.

Your enemies are off to the north at the northern end of the hall, atop kind of a stage. To the left,

I guess to the west would be that archery range you all looked at earlier. I guess it's kind of in front of you, right? Like you would fire from the right, which is the east out to the left. And then behind you to the south is where the corral and the topiaries are. - And where's Little Jimmy? - Little Jimmy's up on the stage with the externs. - So they're all kind of like in the same grouping? - Yeah, like Little Jimmy's kind of in the front of the stage furthest to the south, closest to you guys. And then behind him are the four externs. - And what's the state of the giant cake?

Partially destroyed, but still mostly delicious. It needed tapping. You start attacking the cake. And I'm poking you. That's actually one of the combatants that Bart has to fight for this. Cut! All right, so what's my extern self?

Didn't we like see him in a vision? It was like, yeah. When y'all were in the 2D world, you went through a few different scenarios where you all encountered them. Your extern version is named Kai Forge. Kai Forge. What a dumb name. All right, I aim at Kai Forge and I say, this one's coming for you. Gift of the Chromatic Dragon. Chromatic Infusion. Woo!

And then I add lightning to my arrows, and I'm going to take a shot. And that's a 17. 17. Oh, that's a miss. Gus's delight. Gus's delight. Hold on. Hold on. That's your first attack. No, it's not. You got lucky. And what you want to do is you want to use all of your abilities right here at the top. I've got a lucky feet. Taking it again. That's a 20 out of 16.

I don't think the mics picked that up, Blaine. Could you say it a little louder?

16. Wait, okay, that's fine. That's fine. I meant to do that. Yeah, your shot flies wide. Kai Forge's head turns and tracks the arrow as it passes by and says, Threat neutralized. That's pretty cool, but curving shot, you make an attack roll with the magic arrow and miss. You can use a bonus action to reroll the attack roll against a different target within 60 feet of the original target. So you have to change your target. You'd be like, that was just a warning shot. Yeah.

Yeah, that's that was just a warden. What? Call him Kai Fudge. Wait, oh no, Micah and Gus are... Oh, they're conferring. Oh, I see, I see. Your gift to the Chromatic Dragon is a bonus action. Why are you so excited, Micah? What is wrong with you? Micah was like pointing, I was like, what? Gift to the Chromatic Dragon? Oh, and he was like underlining bonus action. Oh, right, right, right. Can't something cool...

A big thank you to Micah. Did it hit something? Yeah, big thank you to Micah. Was there a painting of little Jimmy behind it? Did it hit the cake? No. There's really not much back there. It's just the wall. We'll say it just hits the stone wall and then bounces, clattering on the ground harmlessly. It's just the most embarrassing sound. Everyone's just looking at it. There's dead silence in the hall and the rattling of the arrow as it hits the floor. Ha ha, you're distracted. I shoot again. And that's a... Ha ha ha!

16. This is actually murdering Blaine right now. I want to point out for the audience, he rolled a 2. He has a plus 14 on his attack. Oh my god, dude. I don't want to talk about it. Do you have an inspiration? It's a podcast, Blaine. What are you supposed to do? Can you do Lucky?

I use the lucky feet once again. He's gonna... I was joking when I said use everything at the top of this fight. There's the lucky feet. There it is. Okay, I'm taking that shot again. Also, is anyone really low on health? 24. The arrow flies...

straight to Kai Forge, who spins around, points one of his arms at the arrow, and shoots the arrow out of midair as it gets close to him. That's so cool. It's so cool. And he's, like, really a lot better than you. I don't know about that. Someone's been watching The Shadow from the 1990s. You know that reference, right? Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. I shoot again. Ah! 20. Kai Forge, are you for hire? We could use a good archer. 20's a hit.

Aha! And then I roll my d-

Nine. I have a feeling this might not work. This arrow pierces Kai Forge's defenses and does hit him. Or hit it, doing nine points of damage. Or does it? Because I also have 46 of ice damage. Why ice? Because my mom... She was really cold. Thank you for that robust explanation. 13. It's, uh... It's, uh... Yeah. Yeah.

Forever winner and then I'm sorry guys. I'm sorry you got this Yeah, so I get the I get the the winter damn the what is it winter damage ever winter Yeah, I don't know does your chromatic dragon do stuff. Yes, it does so nine points of piercing 13 points of cold and Haha, that's an extra one

Farts. Did that do something extra? Yeah. One. One? Wow. Okay. Hey, good job. And then I shoot it. Wait, that was my second turn? Yes. I shoot again! Yes, and you brought a 17. Oh, yeah, I accidentally clicked that. I guess we'll count it. Did I get to that? Yeah, the 17 was the third. Because he attacked, missed, it hit the wall, clattered down. Oh, no, that was right. Second one, Kai Forge, shot out of the air. And then third one actually connected. Oh.

So I think you're done. You want to move or anything? I want to move out of the country. This is so embarrassing. That's it. No, I'm just going to turn my back and just throw my arms up and I wander. Stupid pony.

Oh turns his back okay, no no no I moonwalk back I'm just getting warmed up! Roll for moonwalk, yeah. What is that a performance? Yeah, okay. No backflip? Kyborg are you okay? Are you okay Kyborg? Haha, that's a nat 20! That's where your rolls come in? That's where you roll? It's the most beautiful moonwalk you could ever imagine. Can you do that Kyforge? Can you do that?

Kenny? Kenny? Kai Forge says, Analyzing. Oh, he's rolling. He begins doing a very stiff moonwalk. That's the robot, dummy! Alright, that's the end of my turn. I think someone's phone is vibrating.

Mud, you're up. Then after Mud, Bart. Okay. Mud gives Kyber a little pat on the back. Inspiration? It's okay, buddy. Oh. No, I'm not using a bonus action for that. You're just trying to like, it's not the ability inspiration. You're just trying to make you feel better for that wonderful display of combative abilities. Emphasis on the one. That was three warning shots. One of which hit.

Mud cracks his knuckles, does a little like head tilt and draws up some magic and casts tsunami. What? What's tsunami? I don't like the sound of that. A wall of water springs into existence at a point you choose within range. You can make the wall up to 300 feet long, 300 feet high, 50 feet thick.

What? The wall lasts for the duration of the spell. When the wall appears, each creature within its area must make a strength saving throw. On a failed save, a creature takes 6d10 bludgeoning damage or half as much on a successful save. Oh my god. Well, it's an 8th level spell. I guess that makes sense. At the start of each of your turns after the wall appears, the wall, along with any creatures in it, moves 50 feet away from you. Wow.

So they're just getting pushed backwards further and further? Any huge or smaller creature inside the wall or whose space the wall enters when it moves must succeed on another strength saving throw or take 5d10 bludgeoning damage. Well, the casting time's one minute, so we'll get to that in 10 turns. Why you gotta be that way? Ha ha ha!

Just let me do Tsunami. That's always the trade-off with like super powerful or higher level spells. You either have to have some kind of reagent or you have to have time. So I can't cast it. You can cast it. It'll just take 10 rounds. I can do Shapewater. That's a little Tsunami. I think it's a good spell, Mud. Because a minute would be six turns, right? Ten. Ten. Each one's six seconds, right? Yeah. Oof. Okay. Mud, cast a Goldie Oldie. Oh. Conjure animals. Ah.

Oh, I thought the smell was called a gold eel. Where'd you learn that? I was like, ooh, I want that smell. Conjure animals is what I was expecting. It was what I figured you were going to go with. Well, I wanted to do something new. But I couldn't. You still can in a minute. No, I can't do it. Well, we're rusty. I am literally rusty. Has someone oiled Kyborg lately? Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky.

Mud conjures... Do something weird. Well, I'm going to do one that actually I think is a little overwhelming, and it makes people upset when I say the name. Mud conjures two dionychuses. Dino-ny-dionychuses. Dino-ny-dionychuses. Sponsored by Nike. But actually, it looks like two, but instead it's actually four. Just kidding. It's actually six. Six dionychuses appear. What's a dionychus? It's a little like Velociraptor.

Ooh, Deinonychus. Yeah. Like little velociraptors in the way velociraptors actually are in real life. No, I think it's what we thought. Jurassic Park's version. Yeah. So they're like, I don't think they're still quite as big as that. But yeah. Yep, there you go. I can do sound for it. Whoa. It's actually quite good. So they're medium beasts and you get eight of them. Deinonychus.

I get six. Six, okay. When you cast conjure animals at a seventh level spell slot, it's three times as many. Whoa. And I get two for challenge rating one. So two times three is six. So I got six of these guys. Didn't realize by being a druid, you have to do so much math. Yeah. It's a lot of math. Yeah.

Pay attention to school, kids. Here comes a whole lot of other math. So these guys get pack tactics. So on an advantage on attack rolls against a creature, creatures that one of their allies is within five feet. So they're just going to move as one unit just to make your life a little easier, Gus. All right. They also get a multi-attack.

So they attack two times each. They do travel in herds. A claw and a bite? Yeah. How far away are the combatants? They're about roughly 50 feet away. That's great. That's over 30 feet away. And so as my dinies, dinos, dinies, they get to do pounce. They get to do a claw attack on top of their multi-attack. So they pounce and then, correct me if I'm wrong, I think the way it works is

If the target fails the strength saving throw, they're knocked prone. And if they're knocked prone, they get like a, your dinosaurs get like a bonus bite attack, right? Yeah. Okay. Okay. So you've got six of them.

I'm just going to write times six here, so I don't have to write it all six times. All right. How are you going to distribute them? I'm going to have them all go for Kai Forge. Wow. What? Don't worry. I've got him, okay? Anyway, let's do not go for the head of the snake.

All right, so it didn't matter before because, you know, you're just kind of shooting from range. Just for your own, like, mental picture, Kai Forge is behind what was known as Little Jimmy, just to the left from your perspective. So Little Jimmy's right. So just a little to the west. Okay, cool. Go make Daddy proud. All right. So they all do pack tactics, and I need to... Can I get both of your sounds together? Ah!

- Ah! - Ow. - Sorry. - The Skyborg reacting. - Kai Forge needs to make six DC 12 strength saving throws. - Yes.

For starters. All right. If he gets to do three moves with Lucky and Chromatic Dragon stuff, I get to... Oh, don't worry. I will make up time with my one action. Don't you worry, guys. So, Kai Forge has a plus seven, so he needs a five or better. I'm rolling my saves here. I have a plus nine. Just so you know. I'm straight-changing. Don't worry, Kai Forge. You're better than him in every way. Yeah, I do.

Saves on all but one. Succeeds on the first one, but fails on the second one. So the first one does not get the attack. The second one knocks Kai Forge prone. Kai Forge is now prone. So I believe all of them now proc. So five procs of what is that? The pounce bite attack.

Okay, so I should roll for bite? Yeah, five bite attacks. That is OP. You're just mauling that guy. Is it just damage? It's piercing damage. Do I just roll for damage or do I have to do an attack against you now? If the target's prone, the Deinokis can make one bite attack, so you have to make the attack as a bonus action. So do I need to roll for attack? Yeah. Okay. The bonus action, that means the other ones didn't even use an action. As my bonus action, they get to now do their bite. It's okay. It sounds like life.

Five D20s. And FYI, they all are at advantage because the target is prone. Oh, okay. So roll five. Oh my god.

Hey, everybody. We're just going to be here for a while if you want to go for a walk or something. Nah. So plus five. So 23, 16, 6, 15, 17. Do you want to just do the number you got plus 50? That's what I told. That's what I was telling. So only the first one hits. So roll four more for the second one. This is your advantage. I can do that. Could you ask your dinosaurs to rip off his arms?

I think it's pretty cool. But keep them intact, right? Just in case. I don't want them. What do I... I got my arms. Okay. 15, 10, 14, 15. Imagine that's no... No, those are all missed. Okay, so one goes. Now I'm going to roll for bite. Bite.

So that's five so everything we just did was just leading up to me doing the first part of my damage is five damage but Importantly it does make Kai forge pro. Haha I Know anything about? Borg what's this? That's the high forge high forge beam

Being prone only gives him an advantage. Ha ha! Oh, it's true. The pet shop, we've only made him stronger. Okay. What have you done? Now, I'm sorry. Now I do two claw attacks per dino with advantage. Yes. Yep. I'm gonna roll 12 d20s. Because it's

Two attacks. And this is with another plus five. How many of those hit? Yeah, you need a 13 or better. One, two, three, four, five. Five. Out of 12. Out of 12. So I can roll seven more again. Correct.

Okay. Aha. I can see six out of seven of those. So can you do it again? Four of them hit. So but the five before that means nine hits. So nine successful hits. All right. Roll for damage. Nine. Nine. And this will be plus 27. 33 plus 27 is 63.

It's like a feeding frenzy. The dinosaurs close on Kai Forge, knock him to the ground, and just begin like ripping him to shreds. Babies, can you get the arm for daddy? Get the arm for daddy.

Bring me that arm. That's a good baby. Kai Forge is still alive. He's just on the ground being eaten. He's not in a good space. Kai Forge, how are you? How are you doing? I hate you.

Are you analyzing how much you're a little punk? I want now a poster of Kai Forge prone on the ground, like one of those motivational posters that says, I hate Mondays. With six dinosaurs on it. Dude, that's so good. All right. And then I do a moonwalk. I was going to say, what does mud do? Because I'm a moon druid. Make your performance check. Oh. Is that going to be required? Because I would love to make performance checks.

at any point or bonus. What if you wanted to do Moonwalk? Oh, I'm a negative one. A 16? I have a plus 14 to my point. Yeah. Wow. It's not my forte. It's pretty good. Your Moonwalk is better than Kai Forge's was. How did that look? It's good. Was that good? No notes. It's great. Kai Forge! Kai Forge! How did you like that? The Moonwalk! Unable to see. Occupied.

He's ripping his... They're gone. Yeah, Ben points out there's a lot of parallels with the slimes in Kyborg here. Oh, yeah. The dinosaurs and Kyforge. What if Kyforge was the nice one all along? All along. What if he was the good guy? Because

Is that it for mud? Yep. All right. That means it's Bart's turn after Bart is gum gum. Okay. Bart is going to cast crown of stars. Oh, that's a good one. So for this one, seven like star moats of light appear to orbit my head and I could use a bonus action to send one of the moats streaking towards a creature or object within 120 feet, which I assume. Yeah. They're only about 50. When you do so make a ranged attack spell. So I'm going to cast that. It looks like you're, you got hit and you got like your days. Oh, look at the cartoon. Yeah.

And then I guess I should try to finish off Kai Forge. Yeah, if you want. One less person to attack. What the heck? I still think we should be going for the little Jenny, but I'm going to aim one of my motes at Kai Forge. Pew! Pew! And he has to make... You make a ranged spell attack. Yes, which is plus nine. Big numbers, big numbers. So that is a 26. Yeah! That hits. And so that does 4d12 radiant damage.

Which is 28. Oh, yeah. Kyforge looks like he's barely hanging on. He's being eaten and now being disintegrated by radiant stars shooting from Bart's head. I'm sorry. I think we probably could have another life. Oh, no. I got you, Kyforge.

How much psychic damage does Bart take? And then Bart moonwalks. Yes! Make that performance check. 27. Oh, man. Wow. Bart puts on a master class in moonwalking. Bart is actually floating like on the moon. Wow.

Guy Forge, we celebrate your destruction. You suck! Bart's just like crying, tearing up, and you walking at the same time. It's that one girl doing the TikTok dance while you're weeping. I didn't even notice. You just broke Blaine with that.

And that's my turn. You sure you don't want to like roll another 55 times? I conjure 50 stars. I wonder how many rolls that was. Thank God we have D&D Beyond. Oh my God, I know, right? It would be tough.

Good news, everyone. If you like Stinky Dragon the show and D&D Adventures in general, we've got a brand new series called Stinky Dragon Adventures right now. Stinky Dragon Adventures is a full-length puppet show. There's eight episodes, and they're really good and really funny, and you'll like them. And they're available at StinkyDragonPod.com November 9th. So go check it out.

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That's Bart's turn, so it's Gum-Gum. Okay, so they're about 50 feet away? Yeah, roughly. Kai-Fur just probably scooted back a little bit with all the dinosaurs destroying him. I guess everyone scooted back like a few bits of the moonwalk. So Gum-Gum...

It's going to press his little immovable rod to shoot 40 feet, teleport 40 feet. Yeah. And then he goes, there's no reason to fight. And then goes to Bart and Gum-Gum, I guess, who have, and is like, here I get you a cupcake. You mean Brat? Brat. Brat and Grim-Grim? Grim-Grim. Brat and Grim-Grim. So you walk right up to them? Yeah. Okay. How many attacks of opportunity does that provoke?

Well, he's approaching them. I'm not walking away from them. Oh, okay. So you said you go to see Bratt. Unless you pass by someone else in the process. So yeah, Kai Forge is currently being mauled between Bratt and Grim Grim. Violently kissed is how I like to think it. Violently kissed by six dinosaurs. And a star.

So, no, he didn't want to acknowledge that. And a star. And they're right behind Lord Hymas. I think you would have to choose one over the other just because there's like... Okay, well then I guess I'll go to Bart and be like, Bart, I know you like carbs. Here's your cupcake.

What does Brat say? Is he making friends? Trying to make friends? Maybe alternative universe Bart does like carbs. Maybe Brat can't eat gluten. There's a cupcake. Brat's all about the fats. Rhyme. Just eats butter. He's a frat bro who likes fat. Yeah. Sorry, one second. Gum Gum always has an ability to do something unexpected, so you gotta give me a second. I know. Did you miss it? Yeah. David says he's on the Bratkins diet. Just kidding.

So where did you get? Oh, you had the, where did you have this cupcake from? I don't remember. I got a lot of stuff in my inventory. I got a cupcake in my inventory. Is this an 80 year old cupcake? If it's from the old campaign, it's an 80 year old cupcake. I've also found things to extend the life of cupcakes. Preservatives. Yeah. Plastic baggies. Make a, what kind of check? Let's do make a preservative.

Persuasion check, I guess. It's 11. Now I want to use my inspiration dice. This seems like a good time to use the inspiration dice. I agree. 25. That's much better. 18 plus 7. So what does that do, guys? Yeah, what does that do? We'll say Brat did have a sword in hand and he kind of lowers it a little bit and seems to take pause and consider the cupcake being presented to him. Yeah, he'll reach out and take it. Does he eat it? Not yet. He's holding it. What'd you lace it with? Nothing. Nothing? Friendship enough.

I hope you like it. Yeah, he alternates between looking at the cupcake in hand and looking at you. You see him also dash a look across to Grim Grim. And Grim Grim, you look a lot like me. And I like me, so maybe you can like me. Because if you like you... Are you singing a song? What is happening right now? Is this slam poetry? Yeah, that's what it was. I like me and you like me. We're 50 feet away. We're like, what is he doing? Uh...

We're just moonwalking in the back. It's just the three of us moonwalking. Just hear her squeaking from her sneakers. Yeah, that's all it is because there's no music. And we also wear sneakers now because we're old and we need the support, the arch support. Of course. We got them from New Balance. This guy who sells them called Chip. Is little Jimmy in this fight?

Yeah. Yeah. He's actually standing very close to you. The externs are right behind him. In fact, Bratt is pretty close right behind him. Okay. There's no need for us to fight. I think you just need some friendship. If I want to try and put my friendship bracelet on little Jimmy, what would that do? What would that do? How would I? Can I do that? You can try and he, you know, would have an opportunity to try to evade out of it on top of that. Can I rage? Mm.

Yeah. I mean, you can do whatever you want. I rage. Oh, sorry. I mean, of the group, I feel like Gum-Gum would have the best relations with little Jimmy. Eight and five. If memory serves, I feel like he'd be- I think he probably groups us all together in terms of people. I think this man-boy has been festering for 80 plus years, and so he forgot the details. It's like Syndrome or whatever his name is from- Yeah. Incrediboy. Yeah, Syndrome. Incrediboy.

Blinded? Right.

sure and what does he have to roll for that well i don't want to do the damage part of it

What are you going to do? You can't pick and choose. Okay, all right. What are you going to do? I'm changing it from the blinding thing. I'm doing the light. If someone hits me, they take 1d6 force damage. Okay. Right? That's defensive. And then I'm going to try and put my friendship bracelets on little Jimmy. Okay, so make your attack, and then little Jimmy will have the opportunity to try to evade it.

An arm strike? Sure. Recklessly! Okay. That's a 26 and a 25. Ooh. Okay. You know, it's recklessly, so we'll take the 26, which is sufficient.

Little Jimmy though is going to try to evade it. He doesn't want you to touch him. He's gonna make, we'll say a dexterity check to try to like pull his hand out of the way in time. Plus 13, 22. Okay, we'll say, yeah, you're able to slap a friendship bracelet. Do you want to do it on his left hand or his right hand? - Which one is dominant from what I've seen?

Well, if you remember, when he has a... If it matters, he has that bow in his right hand and that obsidian skull in his left hand. Oh, that's... Yeah, it's probably the one with the skull, huh? Yeah. The po-ho-ho-po-ho-ho-po. Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. Hablas espanol? Eh...

So you put your friendship bracelet on little Jimmy's left hand bling was blushing when you talk to him in Spanish What are you doing

Oh, that's great. Okay. So you put it on little Jimmy's left hand. Okay. And I have a question. Okay. The spell warding bond. This spell wards a willing creature you touch and creates a mystic connection between you and the target until the spell ends. I guess if a willing creature I touch, it's like, does that count if it's Garm Garm? It's a willing Garm. Yeah, but he's me. Yeah.

Yeah, but it's not. He has his own will, though. It's you, but it's not you. Yeah, all right. I will cast Warding Bond on myself and little Jimmy. I know what you get hurt. Look what happened to Kai Farg. Wait, does that... Does Warding Bond give him protection? Yeah, but he has to be a willing creature. He's not a willing creature. Are you... Okay, never mind. We just went over there. I forgot, I forgot. I was trying to... We just...

Alright, then I just have it on him. Just to let the audience know, there was no, like, cut in time. That is the amount of time between when Gus said they have to be a willing creature and Chris forgot. So, I've got him handcuffed.

Grab the skull. Grab the... Okay, I guess. Can I grab the skull? How many actions does he get to take? Yeah, we're starting to get a lot of actions here. You gave a cupcake. I get two attacks. I don't know if I can, like, punch it. Two attacks. So what have your attacks been? So he did the immovable rod. That's what, a bonus action? Yes. Okay. You gave a cupcake. Oh, yeah. I'm probably out. Right?

I forgot about I forgot that like that it has to be a willful creature. Yeah Anyway, I'm happy with my decisions

All of them. I'm glad you are, Chris. I'm sure you are, Chris. Okay, is that it for your turn? Don't ask that. And I'm going to say, and dirt. What's Mutt's evil? Muck. And Muck, I think you're cool too. Dirt? I don't know. It's like dry. It's a little more dry.

What is mud but dry dirt or wet dirt? Hmm. Wow. How insightful. Deep thoughts with Gungo. I'm done. Hey, guys, Chris is done with his turn. What happens now? Okay. Well, it's little Jimmy's turn. Wow. They're here. What he's going to do. Bam, bam, bam. Yeah, little Jimmy's not happy about having a friendship bracelet on right now, especially with someone he doesn't consider a friend. Oh.

That was a hard one. We weren't friends when I last put on the friendship bracelets, and we turned out really good friends. No, we didn't. We're literally in a fight with him because he's trying to wreak vengeance on us. He's trying to assassinate you. So this is like a flashback for him. The friendship bracelets is how... You've triggered him. How this all started. No, that's how we became friends. This poor man's trauma has come back. Exposure therapy. Let him cook.

Not again. Not again. Mutt starts moonwalking out of the building. We can only moonwalk together. I say to little Jimmy. Okay. All right. You're in close. Little Jimmy is going to drop the bow in his right hand for now.

Oh, an interesting choice. And unsheathes a gnarly-looking... Not the verb I wanted. Very curved dagger. We went, oh. And he tries to put his dagger in you, Gum-Gum. What? Who could have saw that coming? Ouch. Quick, Gum-Gum, get away. Oh, wait. All right, well, what'd he do? Let's see. He tries to...

Just swipe at you. Hits AC 17. Dang, that boy's got a... It hits 17? That boy's got a buff. I'm 17, so that's... That does hit then. Yeah. Oh, but you attacked recklessly, so he has advantage anyway, so I get to roll again. Oh. But he already hit. Well, he already hit though, right? Yeah. 17. I want to see if I crit. Yeah, I knew that's why. I knew that's why. Don't allow it.

So that hits. Gus had the hugest smile when he said, so I see if I crit. Oh yeah, duh. Yeah. So that, he puts some damage in you. We bring back these beloved characters so Gus can have another chance to kill. Gum Gum takes 22 points of poison damage.

Ooh, it's a poison dagger. Yeah, and you could make me a constitution saving throw just for fun while we're at it. Okay. 17. Okay, yeah, you don't feel so good. I don't feel so good because my friends are trying to fight me. And I take 22 poison damage. Yes. Your rage doesn't help with that? No, it doesn't. But he takes damage too. Oh, yeah. How much does he take? 1d6 force damage. Now you want to do damage. Well, no, I just want to... It procs automatically. He hurt himself. Yeah. Roll that damage for me. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.

Three. It only hurts both of us when you hurt. Little Jimmy's about to deal like 50 damage. Yeah, how many attacks does Little Jimmy have? Yeah, Little Jimmy says, good. Oh, my.

And swings again with the dagger at you. He's just repeatedly stabbing this boy. And to you, little Jimmy. I was trying to protect you from evil versions or mean versions of us. Oh, now they're mean? They were mean. You are with the mean versions of you. No, I know. And I didn't want them to... Bart hears that and goes, oh.

Barbara looked offended. I tell we befriended our other selves. They might attack us. So that's why I'm trying to help you, little Jimmy. What? I don't want you to get hurt. You're not following? Who gave Gum-Gum a beer? He's old enough now. The other versions of us are bad, and they're trying to attack us. And little Jimmy, I'm trying to protect you.

Yeah, he's still attached. I'm with an arrow making a flow chart in the dirt trying to figure out what he's saying. Hitting AC 25. All the dinosaurs turn to Gum-Gum and do that little head tilt thing that animals do. It's like they don't understand. I just try to have this warding bond to protect them. Yeah.

I get what your intentions were, Chris. We get it. We get it. Man, my dice are... I'm rolling so many dice, they're covering up the numbers. Thank you. That hits. Yeah. Gum-Gum, take 25 points of poison damage. Are you okay? Hold it. He's like right around 50. And then he... Oh, Jimmy. It hurts me more than it hurts you. Literally. He takes four.

four damage. Four. Got it. I said you weren't feeling well, but just so you know from a metagame perspective, you are poisoned. I don't know if you want to check that status box on your character sheet. Happy birthday! Here's a dagger. Poison! Poison! Is that all little Jimmy's gonna do? Sounds like yeah. I think so. Yeah. Does little Jimmy want to do a moonwalk?

Yeah, little James could do a moonwalk, but it's at disadvantage because he's got friendship bracelets on. Oh, it's not good at all. I rolled a four and a three. So a three. Is Kyborg laughing at him? It sounded like it. I remember why we hate you. We don't hate him. We should have pantsed you when we had the chance. Those many years ago. Kyborg's undoing all of the work that Gum Gum was trying to do. That's Kyborg's job.

All right, it's Bratz turn. Just everything in balance. Hey, Brad. Hey. Don't talk to him, Gum-Gum. He's a traitor. Brad starts whispering in your ear, Gum-Gum. Hey, that was awful how you failed that saving throw, right? I don't know. That's a little mad. That's a little mad. It was really awful how you got poisoned, right? That's a little mad. That's a little mad. It's pretty terrible how you're poisoned now, right? And on your birthday.

He puts his hand on your back and pats it, seemingly like trying to comfort you, Gum-Gum. Make me a charisma saving throw. Nat 20, that's 22. Whoa.

He's got the Riz. I'm so angry with you guys. He's so upset. You can feel like when Brat puts his hand on your back, you know, it seems like he's trying to comfort you, but you can feel almost like anger and sadness pouring through, like manifesting itself around the hand, trying to overtake you. But Gum-Gum, bless you, you're just so charismatic and dumb. It just like bounces off of you. Brat, I feel a lot of anger and sadness coming from you. And that's okay, but lashing out at others...

Won't help. We can get through this together. What did that do, Gus? Brat disappears from sight. What? Can I buy cupcake back if you're not going to eat it? You can't see the cupcake either. But he has more than one action? Maybe. That seems unfair. All right, it's Muck's turn. Even though I don't see you, I'm thinking of you, Brat. Okay.

All right, it's Muk's turn. God, Gum-Gum, you came up here and you made such a nice target. You know, I mean, technically the barbarian is supposed to pull aggro. It's true. I guess that is a good point. He just did it in a very unconventional way. Gum-Gum's doing his job job. You hear Muk begin muttering incantations. Muttering. Sorry. Sorry.

Like my main mud. Mud or rain. Gus had a very confused look on his face. I can't see him. He's behind me. Gus looked like a meerkat trying to look around for something. And the very ground under the feet of the three of you, not counting Gum-Gum, the land under the feet of Kyborg, Mud, and Bart begins to like wither and begins rotting under your feet. Not on our sneakers. Yeah.

And that doesn't do anything right now, but we'll deal with that when that comes up. Huh, cool. He changed the ground. It's a gift for later. Wow. And Muck kind of begins changing form. Begins looking like a deformed, dripping bird of some type and takes to the air and begins hovering and flying around the stage. What is that?

That's Muk Wild shaping to something. That's it for Muk. Kai Forge, the unfortunate. Kai Forge, the prone. The unfortunate. Kai Forge stands up. However, he is surrounded by six dinosaurs. Hey, Kai Forge, distance attacks are at disadvantage at targets less than five feet away. Just so you know.

Good luck! He stands up and...

This is not good for me. But gosh, you're on our side. Yeah, I am. Totally. He, you know, points an arm at one of the dinosaurs and a bullet flies out of it trying to hit one of the dinosaurs. Have one of the dinosaurs make a dexterity saving throw. Okay. 12. The bullet flies out and hits one of your dinosaurs. Uh-huh. Dino. And seems to pierce it and continue on doing 31 points of piercing damage.

Yeah, that kills it. Okay. That's one. Five to go. Five to go. Then Kai Forge spins around and then opens up one of its other arm and fires at a different dinosaur. This one I do have to roll. Deinonychus. I can't say it. That's why I keep saying dinosaur. Deinonychus. Deinonychus? Yeah. I don't know how to pronounce it, but that's how I say it. Okay. Deinonychus.

- Dinosaur. That's a seven plus nine, 16. - Yeah, that hits. - Doing 22 points of piercing damage. - Yeah, that kills it. - And the bullet explodes, affecting two other dinosaurs next to it. Have two dinosaurs make dexterity saving throws. - 17. - Successful? - That's not gonna be, that's a six. - Okay, that one's not. So the one that failed takes a little bit of fire damage from the explosion. - Keep track of this. - I know. - Six points of fire damage. - Okay, it's still standing.

And that's all that Kai Forge can do. Not bad. Not bad considering he started the turn on the ground getting eaten. I'll take it. Not bad. Good recovery. It's Grim Grim's turn. God, there's so many characters. Yeah, it's a lot. Grim Grim turns and looks at you, Gum Gum. And, you know, when I think of, I think when anyone thinks of Gum Gum, at least I do, like in my mind's eye, there's like a very innocent,

kind-looked Gum-Gum's eyes. You get the exact opposite of that from Grim-Grim's eyes. You see, like, cold, smoldering hate in his eyes when he looks at you, Gum-Gum. Make a wisdom saving throw. Well, I have a disadvantage with that.

with that. Right? Yeah. I feel like Gum Gum's eyes are far apart and Grim Gum's eyes are very close together. I closed my eyes. Yeah. They're like right on the bridge of his nose. Oh man, that was a, the first one Wisdom saving throw was 18. Nice. That's pretty good. But you have disadvantage, right? And nine. Yeah. Something about the way Grim Gum looks at you, it just like shakes you to your core. It makes you scared. Metagame wise, you're frightened. And poison. So I'm frightened. Yeah.

And I try and run. Do I try and run? I run when I'm frightened, right? But you're attached to him, right? I know. You can try to run on your turn. Oh, okay. Is it not instantaneous? He's frightened, but being frightened doesn't make him flee. Yeah. It's not like an effect of it. Oh, right. It's just a condition, right? Right. That's everybody, right? I believe so. Does Grim Grim have any more moves? Grim Grim does have one more move. Is it a moonwalk? No.

It's a little nastier than a moonwalk. He reaches onto his back and, like, snaps a thorn off of his back. He's got thorns? Yeah, he's, like, real thorny and angry. A literal thorn from his back or, like, armor that's got thorns? Like, he snaps, like... It's part of him. It's part of him. Grimcam, you need to get that checked out. I have this lotion back at home. He takes the thorn and throws it at Kyborg. Oh, okay.

Well, you're the one who started all this with Kai Forge. Yeah. And you started, you're undoing all of Gum Gum's work here. Yeah. Okay. I have enough time to prepare for it. So I'm like, like, here we go. Come on. It hits AC 13. That's got to miss. You missed. All right. He misses. He missed.

I tell Gumgo, everybody, he missed. Everybody misses sometimes. Yeah. What a loser. All right, that goes back to the top of the initiative order. It's Kyborg, then Mud, then Dinosaurs and Bart. Don't mind if I do. All right. You know it. You love it. It's the longer bow, Kristalina. I shoot it at Kyforge. And that's a 32. Oh, my God. Does that hit good?

Hold on, let me do it. Yeah, it hits. All right, doing 12 points of piercing. He's got to be down by now, right? Plus one, two, three. He's counting up all his damage. I mean, look at how much HP you have. 46 of ice, which is 10. That's 22 points damage. 22 points damage. And then I do the 1d4 for the chromatic dragon. You do the chromatic dragon. Yeah, that one. Ha ha ha.

You're just not into it like you used to be. He's older now. 23 points of damage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. High Forge begins sparking and then crumples to the floor. I did it! You suck! Boo! Yeah, you killed you! Boo! All by myself. It was just me. No one else. All the dinosaurs turn their heads towards Skyborg. I'm the best!

The best it ever was! Okay. Just on the floor crying. Got it! Okay, so now I aim my sights at Jim, let's say. Jimbo. And I say, forever winter! And I fire my arrow, and that's a 25. That does hit.

All right. Matter question for GumGum, for Chris. Yeah. Is there anything with your bracelets? Like, does it restrict little Jimmy's movement? Does it put him at disadvantage for any attacks or anything? Is that written in your... Well, they can, like, grow up to, like, 60 feet.

What? Yeah. Like the chain in between? Yeah, but I think that's on me, so I don't think he could do that. Gotcha, gotcha. Okay. Yeah. When you said they, I thought you meant little Jimmy. He could grow up to 60 feet. Not so little anymore. Oh, and the cuffs are in the shape of a heart. I want to clarify. That'd be really uncomfortable. That sounds awful. It would either dig into the top of your wrist bone or your... Well, or you could easily weasel your way out.

Well, I don't know. Maybe they're not. Maybe they're like fat hearts. So they're not like... Or an anatomically correct heart. Almost a circle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a lot of cholesterol. All right, well, I shoot a little Jimmy. That's 14 piercing, 15 ice. Okay. And two lightning. 31? 31. Okay. Well, I have a third attack. Should I use it, guys? Come on. Yeah, yeah. Come on, let's go, crowd. Use it, use it. Come on, bud. Use it, use it. Let's hear it from bud. Everyone,

Everyone agrees. Diggy bars. Come on, bud. Use it. Use it. Okay. I'm afraid. That's a 18. No, that does not. Wow.

So strong boy. Oh, oh, I do have curving shot and I haven't used a bonus attack or bonus action. So that makes it come back? Curving shot. Well, it doesn't make it come back to me. That would be a useless power. That was Jimmy. It does. When you make an attack roll with a magic arrow and miss, you can use a bonus action to reroll the attack roll against a different target within 60 feet of the original target. Ah, gotcha. So I want to aim at Grim Grim. Oh,

That's lovely. A 33. Yeah, that does hit. Ow. No, it's grim grim. I know, but I feel for him. Doing 11. However, I have this thing where I can reroll piercing damage if I don't like the original. Do you not like that? I mean, it's fine. It's not very good. It's fine. It's fine. I'll keep it. I'll keep it. And I'll do 46. Cool.

cold damage. Actually, does the cold damage only happen on my sworn enemy? I think it does, but let's read what Grif did. This is Mommy Thing. It's my Mommy Thing. I think that's only on your... Blaine's Mommy Thing. I think that's only on your sworn enemy. Because that's why you have to say Forever Winner and everything. But he died to lightning, though, from Gift of the...

Wait, was Kai Forge your sworn enemy? He was, but I reclaimed Forever Winter against Jim. Jim, gotcha. And then I curve shot to Grim Grim. Gotcha. Okay. So hold on real quick. I have an arcane shot. What?

which is considered a special. Am I right there? What do you mean? Well, it's twice per short round, once per turn. When you fire an arrow from a short or long row as part of the attack action, you can apply one arcane shot option of your choice of arrow. You decide to use the option when the arrow hits a creature, unless the option doesn't involve attack roll. So I don't think that that's considered bonus. No, it doesn't seem like it. It says it's part of the attack action. Cool. So with that being said, I want to add...

infeeling arrow. A creature hit by an arrow takes an extra 2d6 necrotic damage and must also succeed on a constitution saving throw dc12 or damage dealt by its weapon attack is halved until your next turn. So okay roll your necrotic damage and it's on grim grim right? Yeah this is a grim grim. Thorns bro!

Or I'll be throwing these hands. Five. Five. Okay. And then Grim Grim needs to make a DC 12 constitution saving throw. Correct. It's plus five, so I need a seven or better. Our combat rounds are a lot shorter in Groteth because we are not level 16. We're babies. 20. Okay, so it takes two or three. You can round up. It's cool. You can round up.

No, no. His attacks are halved. So he takes the five points regardless. Oh. But because he made the saving throw, the second part of that doesn't proc. So his weapon attacks will be full strength. Okay, cool. If he had failed, then his weapon attacks would be halved. Yeah, it's fine. That's cool. I killed a guy. That's all I care about. Just to watch him die. Rest in peace, Guy Forge. Rest in pee-pee, I mean. Moonwalk, moonwalk. All right, I'm going to roll for it. I'm going to roll for it. Cut planes, Mike. Cut planes, Mike.

Is that it for Kyborg? Yeah, hold on real quick. One more roll. So yeah or no? It's a 10 on performance. Not my best moonwalk. Oh. I'm so disappointed in you. The externs win yet again. Ah! No! Yeah, I'm good. Yet again? Grime, grime, so scary. Grime, grime. Grime, grime. Mud, you're up. And then after Mud and the Dinosaurs is Bark. Mud and the Dinosaurs would be a great band name. I like that. Very good band name. What is the state of the ground underneath mud? Oh, right. That's right. But Kyborg, you would have had to deal with this too. Thank you for reminding me.

Thank you, Mud. Yeah, thanks, John. Way to go. I was trying to just do it so that I could get off it if I need to. Well, I haven't moved. That was another thing. Should I? You can make your move, but when you start your turn there, just something about the ground under your feet feels awful. It makes you feel kind of sick. Make a constitution saving throw. Constitution saving throw. I'll do mine, too, since we're at this. That's a 20, but also I have a... Oops, sorry. That was a check, but it doesn't matter. I have advantage. Seven. Seven.

Okay. Let me deal with Kyborg first and then I'll get to yours, Mud. So Kyborg, you do feel sick. You take a little bit of damage from the defiled ground beneath your feet. You take only one point of necrotic damage and you feel like you should move. Okay. I move. I moonwalk out of there. Okay.

Okay. And then Mud, of course, you rolled yours as well. You rolled a seven, which is insufficient. You do take some necrotic damage. You take six points of necrotic damage. And you are also affected by the poison status. It's baby damage. That's what happens when someone throws a baby at you as full force. Take baby damage. I like that. All right, what you going to do, Mud? What you going to do with all that junk? Okay.

Mud steps out of the nasty bit of the ground. So the four dinos, dino-nicuses, how far are they from the next combatant if they were on Kai Forge? Oh, they're like right next to it. Directly next to it or a five foot spot away from them? Like they are in the next five foot square over. So they are next to the square. There is no distance between them. Correct. Okay. So yeah, they were on Kai Forge. So to the west of them is Brat and then to the east of them is Grim Grim.

Okay. Go for the little one, babies. And they would have to make a check to see if they see Brat because Brat disappeared. Oh, okay. Then they don't need to. Then they go for Grim Grim. Brat could be right behind us right now. Maybe. He'd smell him. All right. So they go for Grim Grim. I'll go for the boss. Go for Jimmy. Jimmy's right there as well. Okay. So there's four of them left. So...

Eight attacks with advantage. But they don't move 30 feet, right? Nope. Don't get to do that. Okay. Okay. Can you see all those, Gus? There's some 20s. Yes. Plus fives on all that. So how many hit? And I think that's two crits. Two hit. The crits? Yeah. Okay. So the crits hit. We'll set the crits aside. And then I do six more. Another crit in there. Nice. So plus five on any of those? Two of those. So three crits and one hit. Yeah. Three crits and one hit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Okay. And so those were...

I just imagine all these windows on your stream of animals. That does claw, so that's three. So I'm going to roll one, two, three, four. Roll all four, and then we'll treat three of those. The first three we'll treat as a crit. So one, three, and three are crit. Okay. Okay.

So I get, that's a D6. So do I get six added to each of those? Yes. Okay. So let's do some math, everybody. 10 plus 18 plus 18. 46. 46 damage. God, BB2, its math minutes are impeccable.

Mathematics. Let us know if you at home were faster than Gus. All right, yeah. I mean... Time Forge is like, I, in fact, was faster than Gus. 1-0-0-0-1-0-1-0-1. Yeah, the dinosaurs descend on little Jimmy and begin biting at him and tearing at him, much to Gum-Gum's horror. No! Get away!

Oh, but my turn's not done. Oh, no. That was their turn. Mudcast Bones of the Earth. What's that? Sounds like a cool song. By Mud and the Dinosaurs. Ah, yeah. This one's called Bones of the Earth. It's Little Jimmy and Three Combatants. Little Jimmy and a Gum Gum. Yes. Okay. Okay.

Four pillars of stone burst from places on the ground beneath each of them. They're five feet in diameter and go 30 feet in the air. Whoa! Cut into where this affects you guys. If a pillar is appeared under a creature, that creature must succeed on a dexterity saving throw or be lifted by the pillar. If the pillar... How high is the ceiling? It's like 50 feet. Okay.

You just squish into the ceiling? Yeah. Could I actually make a pillar appear under a pillar? I would say no, just because the pillar doesn't exist. Like, they all have to proc at the same time. Maybe. Maybe.

You don't know. You ever seen somebody cast this spell? I'm very familiar with the bone thing. So no, I don't think you can do a pillar under a pillar. Okay. So they all need to make DC 18 dexterity saving throws? Yes, please. Well, do we know... Should he check where Brat is though? Oh, yeah. Make a perception check. Brat is invisible. With disadvantage. See if you can see him. That's 28. Not bad. That's a 13. Bad, but...

But I have inspiration, so I'm just going to use that. 16. Yeah, you think you have a vague idea of where Brad is, so I'm going to go ahead and roll my saves. DC 18 dexterity. Yeah. Brad, come out to play. You see a pillar right next to you, Ryze. How terrifying would that be? Round one. Just so that he doesn't take damage, I'm going to put one underneath Gum-Gum, and he can choose to automatically fail the save and go up with the pillar. Gotcha. So if Jimmy goes up, Gum-Gum can go up too. Gotcha.

Smart. Does he give me an attack? Is Brat plus six? Or are they just up in the air? They just get pushed up in the air. So they have the high ground. Yes. Brat's a fail. Muk? Oh, Muk was already flying. Oh, okay. Could a pillar come from the ceiling down? You could try to put the pillar. Like Muk was not. So Muk's flying. Muk was not like 30 feet in the air. So it would still push him up. I got a better use of this spell. Okay. That's simpler. I saw Brat, right? Yeah, I will say you perceived where he is.

Okay. I cause six pillars to surround Brat. Oh. So he's in a cage of six pillars. Okay. I like that better. That's neat. But is he small like me? He can get out. He's a wily little guy. Can he pass through two-dimensional space? Huh.

Yeah, I'll do that. That's much simpler. Okay. Is that it for you? And then I moonwalk. I'll tell you what. Don't you take away my moonwalk. Before your moonwalk. I rolled a nat 20 on moonwalk. Thank you very much. We'll get to your perfect moonwalk in a second. Before we get to that, make me an arcana check. I mean, I'm plus one, so I'm going to nail this. That's a seven. Okay. You think you have a thought, but you don't. Whatever.

What is that? Guys, I almost had a thought. Guys, wait, wait, wait. It was right there. Oh, never mind. Have you had one before? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Multiple times. I'm so jealous. What are you talking about?

Gum Gum's just lost. All right, Bart, it's your turn. Then after you is Gum Gum. And I take the terrain stuff? Yes. Does it matter that I'm resistant to poison? I know you said it's necrotic damage, but it's poison. You're resistant to poison? We'll deal with that in a second. Make me a constitution saving throw and we'll see how we get there. Constitution saving throw is a six.

- 17. - Just short. So you're gonna take necrotic damage regardless. Let's deal with that first. - That's a high save. - 18. - So five points of necrotic damage. And I'll tell you what, roll the save one more time for the poison. - So another 17. - Yeah, that would have been your chance to avoid the poison, but no. - Could I use a lucky? - Yeah, sure, why not? - Okay. - I forgot you added that. - Just like me for real. - Oh man, well, it's a four.

Use another one. Just like Kyborg. Just like Kyborg. Use them all. I'm gone. Do it. Do it. I'll take the initial one, I guess. So you are poisoned. Okay. But yeah, now it is your turn. Hey, we're poisoned, buddies. You too, Bart. Make me an arcana check.

Okay. Arcana check. Here it comes. Come on, Bard. Biggy bomb. Gus is clearly trying to get us to... I'm going to use a lucky for that. You got an eight. I got an eight. I'm going to use a lucky for that. It's got to be something with a ho-da-ha-ba-da-ho-ho-ho. I want to learn. I want to learn.

You think mud almost gave you a thought. Ew. Wow. Could I build off of it? Could we put our two half thoughts together and get a whole one? I am a halfling. Quarterling. Quarterling. Maybe if you had that other quarter, it would have worked out. I take it. So no, nothing? No, nothing. Nothing? Okay. Does Kyborg want to check on Arcana? I'll check. He's not his turn. Kyborg's a real dum-dum. No. Is there a way that I could place down something that is a 20-foot radius that only hits...

Jimmy and maybe like one of the other externs. Grim Grim is the only other one that would be there because the monk is in the air and Bratz in a little prison. Yeah, I just didn't know how close they were to Jimmy. Yeah, I mean Grim Grim is almost pretty much right behind little Jimmy so you should be able to do that. Okay. I would like to try to cast Synaptic Static. I don't like the sound of that.

which is I choose a point within range and cause psychic energy to explode there. Each creature in a 20-foot radius sphere centered on that point must make an intelligence saving throw. I assume neither of these creatures have an intelligence score of two or lower. No. And the way this is worded, this would also affect muck, even though muck is in the air. Okay.

Because it's a sphere, it's not a two-dimensional space. It actually specifically calls out a three-dimensional space. Nice. Okay, cool. So I'll cast that. Okay. So they all have to make intelligence saving throws. DC 17. DC 17. Do little Jimmy first. Not very smart, huh? Okay, plus three. That's a nine. So little Jimmy fails. Failed. We'll do muck plus zero, just like you guys, huh? Who said that? Well, that's a two. And Grim Grim, I'm going to bet, is not very good either.

Oh, look at that, plus zero. What if Grim Grim was like the opposite and had like a plus 12? That's an eye. Yeah, they all fail. They all fail. All right, so after a failed save, which is all of them, the targets have muddled thoughts for one minute. During that time, it rolls a d6 and subtracts the number rolled from all of its attack rolls and ability checks, as well as its constitution saving throws to maintain concentration.

Wow. The target can make an intelligence saving throughout the end of each of its turn, ending the effect on itself on a success. So do I roll a D6 for all, like an individual D6 for all of them right now or anytime it comes up? Anytime they try to, I think, attack. This is a minus D6. Or have a ability check. Okay. Or anything.

or anything like that. That's genius. How do you defeat counterparts of the Infinites? Intelligence. I knew it. Brilliant. And then... And then how much damage do they take for the failsafe? Does it do damage? They take 8d6 psychic damage. 8d6 on each of them. Just a little bit. God. 8d6, so that is 24 for each of them. I don't like that. It's a little capped.

potentially what it could have been. Because as you know, I have an atheletism. Eight times six is...

48. No. 16, 20, 48. No. 8 times 6? It's 48! It is. He's doing that just to gaslighting. The great thing is he went with it. I love it. That's because he trusts you. He trusts your little brain. Alright, Bart? Oh yeah, so as my bonus action, I would like to shoot another moat. At who? Could I?

Shoot it at little Jimmy's skull. Interesting idea. The black skull. Called shot. The skull he's holding. What is it called? Yeah. Do you remember? Yeah. I'm checking if you know. The ojo.

Ho-ho. The skull of the eyes? He's holding a skull. He's holding an obsidian skull. He was that part. Yeah. But I thought in Spanish, isn't it ojo eyes? Yeah. Yeah. It's the skull of eye eyes. Eye eyes. Ojo por ojo. Oh, oh. Eyes for eyes. I'm so bad at Spanish. Yeah, pretty good. Well, Jimmy's job is eye for eye. Ojo por ojo. But can I, can I, oh, eye for eye. Eye for eye. Can I shoot at it? Yeah, of course. Okay. Okay.

So that is a, oh man, a 14. You got lucky? I'm going to use a lucky just in case. Did that miss? Am I allowed to know the outcome? Yeah. Are you? Yeah. Yeah, it misses. It misses. Okay, I'm going to use a lucky. Right? Gotcha.

On 11. You got another lucky? I don't because I used the unnecessary things. That's okay. You did a lot. You did a lot. Inspo die? I don't. You got advantage? Don't. That's okay. I'm looking at your character sheet. This one seems like you have advantage. He's not looking at your character sheet. He's just... But I'm guessing it still expels a star. Yeah. The star flies towards the skull. Seems like it hits it, but then kind of glances off of it. Okay. Okay.

And then I'm going to move away from the icky floor. The icky. Yeah. All right. So I think that is my turn. All right. Gum gum. So little Jimmy's on the, he got attacked by dinosaurs. Yes. Are they all around him? Yes. Is he on the ground prone? No. No, he's not on the ground prone, but he is surrounded by dinosaurs. All right.

I was going to try and get that skull. How are you going to do that? Well, he's only got one hand. Three. Yeah, he has two hands. Not cyborg. So, I don't know. I could try and grab it from him, like knock it out of his hand. And just as a reminder, you did put your friendship bracelet on the hand that is holding the skull. So, I could also, like, yank it towards me and grab it. Whatever you want. It's a D&D. It's the mind's art. Oh, ho, ho. Oh, ho, ho. I don't know what it is.

Yeah. Okay, so can I, with the hand, like...

grab that part and like grab it and roll away, like yank away and use my weight to help pull it away. Does that make sense? You ever seen when like animal control is trying to catch a gator? That's exactly what I was going to say. It's like an alligator doing that death roll. Yeah. Come, come, do the death roll. Yeah, sure. Why not? We'll give you a shot to do that. So describe to me again a little, sorry, a little more concisely. How are you going to accomplish this? Sorry. So he's got it in his hand. This is his left hand. Left hand. And I'm handcuffed. You're attached to it.

So I'm going to, like, try and grab it with my one hand, and if I don't get it, at least grab his arm, and grab it and roll and pull away so that he's yanked. Yeah, and then you're going to try to roll with it. Yeah, we'll make, like, a strength check. Yeah, that's what I think we would do here. So, yeah, we'll do a pro strength check here. Okay. You strong? Not well.

i i am frightened like chris or gum gum uh so i have disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls well the source of its fear was in line of sight wait is he still in line side of me yes yeah so i'm frightened but i'm also advantage on strength so i think it evens out okay so no advantage no disadvantage just strength just strength all right roll that beautiful strength roll big numbers

24. That's pretty good. Oh, yeah. Just shy of a nat 20. Little Jimmy only has a plus 3 on this. And he has a disadvantage on that thing because of Barb's thing. What Barb's thing? Oh, there's that negative 6. Negative brain thing. Negative brain. The only way he can succeed against this is if he rolls a nat 20. Okay. Because a nat 20 is a success. Which is impossible statistically. 6. Yeah. No, he fails. Is he unlucky?

Huh? Never. Does he have a lucky? No, he does not have a lucky. Plain. Yeah, so you're able to pull and begin doing a roll with him, and you're able to grab at the skull. Classic gum-gum pull and roll. Okay.

He's been working on that move for 80 years. And what's the plan now? Now, is there anything else I can put my handcuffs onto? What? To handcuff him to something so that I can run away from him. Oh, like a pipe? Krista, in the way of like... So that I can find a helicopter up to the sky bay. Yeah, we'll say that there's some mounting points on the stage for banners and whatnot, various...

various party things. Then I want to put my friendship bracelet, handcuff it to that, and run away. Because I would run away from evil or mean gum gum, grum grime. Grum grum. Little Jimmy, you don't want this evil thing. It's making you mad. Okay.

So is Gum-Gum in possession of the skull now? Yes, Gum-Gum has the skull, so we're trying to figure out what he's doing with it. I'm running away, so he doesn't try to take it. The perfect person to have the MacGuffin. Is it a MacGuffin? I don't know. What did he say it did? Nobody said anything. He's just been holding it creepily. I thought he said he gave him powers or something. You know, who knows? I don't know. He said that.

He found it and it offers lasting life for those who seek vengeance. Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh, seek vengeance on him. Oh, I thought he was referring to the island. Well, I don't want to kill him. I don't want to kill him. Is it lasting life? Give me a day I want to kill you. I don't think this is good. So then can I just smash it? Sure. How are you going to smash it? With a hammer. Oh.

I mean, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've got a... Don't you have an axe? I have an axe. So I can smash it with my axe? Sure. Make an attack roll on it. Roll for smash. Does he smash? Or pass. I was going to say 25. Oh, that's... Yeah, that hits. Do you want me to roll damage for it? Yeah, roll damage. Okay. Okay.

Oh, damage. That's 15 plus my rage, plus three. So 18. 18 points of damage. Yeah, you bring down your axe on the skull of Ojo Porojo and it explodes in magic energy, crumbling to little chunks in front of you. Just like little Jimmy. What? Little chunks. Little chunks. Little chunks.

That's the next character name that we'll go with. Oh, that's a good name. Little Jimmy cries out as he watches the skull explode. And as that happens, the externs that remain on the stage begin rapidly aging and withering away. No. I don't like watching this. It's like that scene at the end of Last Crusade. Yeah. They chose poorly. Can I run up and try and... Who's the closest? The closest to you... I can't run to the scary one. I mean, I think that probably is a scary one. Other than that, I guess it would be...

Uh... Monk? Yeah, he's flying now. Monk's flying. Yeah, it is Grim Grim. It's either Grim Grim or Little Jimmy, but Little Jimmy's not an extra, so it would be Grim Grim. It's alright, Gum Gum. Maybe Brat's okay. We'll just leave the pillars up and not check. It's, uh... Oh no, it's Schrodinger's Brat. Schrodinger's Brat! Schrodinger's Brat! I'm sure he's fine. Dude. Little Jimmy looks at you, you know, with hate in his eyes, and says, "'Not again!'

You humiliated me just like last time do it and it Not gonna kill you trouble up or what like was he actually like actually jacked. He's still pretty okay, so like the Give them like super muscles. Oh, he put the work in good for hey good. You know what that's

That's cool. You're the one who attacked us. We're not trying to kill you. Yeah, we got nothing against you, little Jimmy. Yeah, bro, we're just here to celebrate this guy's birthday. At this point, you hear a commotion come from just beyond the stage as Esquire Erica and Castle Staff barge into the room. Hi. Roll for initiative.

Next time. This is taking track. No, no, the tsunami finally hits. Yeah, yeah. It's been long enough. What's going on? Are you guys okay? Looking at you all, the interns. It's questionable. Not emotionally. Oh, dear, this is terrible. Lord Jaime locked us in the kitchen. He didn't seem his normal self. Oh. Oh.

I think the evil's gone. Can I, like, see if this is just bad acting? Like, they're just covering for him? I mean, it is bad acting for me, but I mean, it's Gus. I think maybe he's under the influence of some spell, maybe? Yeah, or his staff is very good and they're covering for him. Oh, our boss. Make an insight check. Okay, here we go. Could I also make an insight check? Sure. I have advantage on insight. Do it. 27. I believe.

27 for Bart. Seven. Well, 29 with my advantage. So 29 for Bart and a seven for Kyborg. Yeah. What do you think, Kyborg? Are they telling the truth? They're lying. Let's kill them all. Bart, you think they are totally sincere. It seems like they are very shocked and had no idea what was happening. Kyborg, they are definitely lying. We gotta kill them all.

By any chance, does anybody recall when he took possession of that black skull thing that Gum-Gum just destroyed? He's had it for as long as we can remember. Where'd it come from, little Jimmy? Now be honest.

It came from this place, the Isla de Venganza. Where, though? Like, whose goes that? Oh, I go up to the pieces and I say, this house is clean. What is that from? I'm really sorry for all of this. And little Jimmy cuts them off and says, in a cave not far from here. In a cave? Uh-huh.

Go on. Erica says, Anyway, we'd be really happy to compensate you for all this trouble with riches from the royal treasury. Do you think we could give these riches to friends of ours in a different campaign? Can I Venmo my old friend? Can I Venmo this girl, Olga? Erica has a quizzical look on her face. I'm not quite sure I understand. I'm her sponsor. No.

I think you should put that door's counseling for little Jimmy. You can take the bits of the skull with you if you want. Oh, and the funhouse mirror if you'd like. Okay. I'll do it. I love their series demo disc. Jimmy. Why, why such a good- Hi, hi, hi, hi, pardon.

Jaime. Why such the grudge against us? What's the beef? You treated me like nothing and mocked me like you do everyone who disagrees with you in the world. You're due your comeuppance and you'll get it. Well, you gotta take your lumps, little Jimmy. When we've met you, you were- I've taken my lumps. Yeah, I know, you're a dream whore. Don't talk to me about lumps. No, I will talk to you about this. Erica, could you just take Jaime away? I don't think this is going to resolve today. No, no, no, let them

We will deal with him. Erica motions to the guards who grab him and begin taking him away. I'm still a better archer. I'll come back in 83 more years, just you wait. One of the Deinonychuses comes up and gives you one of the arms from Kyforge. Taking this too with the funhouse mirror and the bits of the skull.

Would the arm have aged? It was robotic. It's metallic. Yeah, so, I mean, if y'all want it, you all can split 40 platinum pieces. Wow. For 10 each? Yeah. Doesn't matter. Whatever. Yeah.

Now we have to do more infinite stuff so we can pay. 2,400 gold pieces and 1,250 silver each. Oh, this is 40 each? No, 10 each. I changed the way I was thinking. You're now doing the math. And then 175 copper each. Don't spend it all in one place. Wow. The wife's going to be so happy when I bring those home. I'll put that skull pieces into a bag or something.

Okay. And thus concludes the tall tale of Little Jimmy and the Externs. The Infinite infirms once again return to their respective lives all across the far reaches of Phasa, and we never heard of the Infinites ever again. Well, Guzzler, there was that one time when they came back to say- Duncan, I don't think they're quite ready for that tale just yet. For now, all I can say is thank Dia for the Infinites.

I'd like to say canonically, I went and got my cupcake. Okay. Canonically, you all also do level up to level 17. Whoa! Maybe that will matter in the future. Maybe it won't. I'm guessing.

guessing it will. Kyborg lays down in his bed. He's surrounded by his friends. He says, I'm dying. These years, they've done a number on me. I didn't hear a single word. And then I realize I'm an elf and I'm still probably like kind of technically in my 20s and then I go and I work out. Okay. And that's the end of Kyborg's Tale. Thanks for listening, everybody.

Hey there! It's Chip Haney! Or am I Blaine Gibson? Or am I Kyborg the Mighty? Or am I... Sawyer the Lawyer! Anyways, I just wanted to give you a quick heads up that Stinky Dragon Adventures is coming out November 9th. What? Stinky Dragon Adventures? Why, it's a puppet show! That's right! A puppet show! It's based off of the Infinite Campaign. It's got all your favorites, plus a bunch more, and it's a fun little puppet adventure.

And there's eight episodes of it, and you can watch it on stinkydragonpod.com when it drops. And while you're at it, just check out the campaign that's based off of the Infinite campaign. And then while you're at that, why don't you just check out our other new campaigns and one-shots and miniseries and much, much more. So actually, I challenge you, audience, to see if you can listen to all of Stinky Dragon before it comes out in early November. And if I crunch the numbers correctly...

You just need to listen on it at double speed night and day for three weeks and you'll be good to go. All right. I'll see you there. RT Extra Life is back for another year of shenanigans to raise money for a good cause. Tune in to roosterteeth.com slash life on Saturday, November 11th for the return of the 24 hour stream, including a segment from the Stinky Dragon Crew. It's going to be a wild, chaotic one shot where you can donate to effectively

gameplay and raise money for sick kids. Did you know that you can directly support the show and interact with us by subscribing at thinkydragonpod.com slash first. You could be one of the cool, talented, amazing first thinkers like me.

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First, this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger, with additional editing work by David Songye. And here's a quick shout out to folks that interact with us on social media recently. Here are some NPCs named after them in this episode. Lil' Jimmy, aka I'm a Espejo, who is at JimmyKing411 on Twitter. And...

Esquire Arika, who is user ArikaMakesThings on Reddit. And don't forget to follow us on socials. That's at StinkyDragonPod. We're on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube. Interact with the community over on our subreddit at rStinkyDragonPodcast or on the Rooster Teeth Discord. For access to the Discord, go to StinkyDragonPod.com. And on the left side of the page, click on Community, then Discord right underneath.

See you there. We also want to give a special thanks to some friends who provided VO for characters in this episode, like little Jimmy, who was played by Gus. I don't know if he needs a special thanks, but he got one. There's also Esquire Rika, who's played by Kristen Bates. Add Kristen Bates. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Tiki Dragon.

Hey, you, listener, did you know the best way to support Tales from the Stinky Dragon is to support us through a first membership? You can directly support us. And on top of that, you get something. You get ad-free episodes. Yeah, it's only $5.99 a month and you get access to all the Stinky Dragon stuff, including Second Wind, our bonus show where we go deep dives into like the week's episode. You get like behind the DM information. You get insider knowledge from Micah, the world builder. It's great.

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Wait, no, I think I hit it. No, I went and miss. I luckied. It hit. No, it missed. I did the second one. I luckied. It hit, but he hit it. And then now I'm on. Wait, you just did the third. That was the third. Never mind. Could you just take everything he just said and like speed it up and like maybe pitch it? Yeah. Just some playing catches up to the rest of us. I mean, I hit it. No, I didn't.

I did the second one. I lucky. It hit, but he hit it. It hit, but he hit it. Wait, wait, wait. I hit it. No, I win. I miss. I lucky. It hit. No, I miss. I did the second one. I lucky. It hit, but he hit it. It hit, but I win. Wait.