C02 - Ep. 12 - Menace of Maschatten - Make the Ghost of a Situation
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This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon is sponsored by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? Maybe you never skip leg day or maybe therapy day.

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This is a Rooster Teeth production. Salutations to all you slithering trackers. Slip your slime into the stinky dragon and guzzle our latest gulp. Revenge is a dish best served... It's a mixture of strong cold grip coffee, confectioner's clinging sugar...

Half and half-life, topped with a pair of leeched lungs drowning in a relentless flow of grudge-bearing slime. Or just some crushed ice. Previously, our adventurers faced a harrowing run-in with Frankenstein falling apart, Skelegon scintillating with spite, and Eddie awakening a whole new side of the dragon, Draghast.

Now the party's plans are crumbling all around them. So grab a guzzler. Let's get back to this gassy goss. On the module, what was the direction for your blubbering sound? Blurble gerble in brackets pronounced as if being drowned.

Okay, Blurble Grrble. That should be our greetings. Blurble Grrble. It's like a Sims thing. Snickers, that's our new thing. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. My name is Gustavo Sorolla. I'm your Dungeon Master. I'm joined by our four players as we are every week. And the players are... Barbara Dunkelman. I play Elga Von Brath, a barbarian half-elf vampire. And I am the best there ever was. Yes.

She's Wolverine. Blurble Gerbil, I'm Blaine Gibson, and I play tiefling rogue Chip Haney. Blurble Gerbil. Blurble Gerbil. And I'm Chris Damaris, and I play Barney Barney, the human cleric. And I'm Blurble Gerbil playing Matty Confucius, the air croaker and ghost monk. Well, before we get started, I want to hit you guys with an arrow.

We have a list of questions, little role-playing warm-up questions. They're submitted via the Stinky Dragon subreddit and Discord. A few added by Micah, who's our writer. Just to kind of like give a little bit of backstory, a little bit of information. I feel like we've gotten some new lore on the characters this way recently. Yo, we got hot Elga lore last time, okay? Spicy! Dead, it dropped. I'm hungry for more. Let's see what we get this week. She's back in the studio!

A 65. She is very mysterious. From Jahardin on Discord. I think we had a question from Jahardin in the past. We have. I think two. Our most active member, probably. Well, blurble gerbil, Jahardin. Blurble gerbil. Would your character rather be feared or respected?

Barney would rather be feared. Really? Yeah. I always thought Barney would want to be respected. Yeah. It didn't seem like the type that would want to have ill will towards him. Yeah. Why does Barney want to be feared? Well, you'll find out maybe. Ha ha ha ha.

That's not the point of these questions. The point is to give more info about the characters. Well, you blurb will garble. It maybe makes us wonder about the motivation. Blurb will garble. Chip would want to be respected, even though he was in a line of work that caused fear before assassinating his marks. He would want to make sure that they were having a pleasant killing experience and that everything was going up to code before ending their lives.

Matter of fact, if you live, if you live through this in the afterlife, if you could give us a review, five stars on murder. Weren't you making fun of the coughs for having customer service feedback during the interrogation? I thought it was a fun little bit. I thought Chip was not into that. Oh, hey, John, go ahead and answer.

Why not both? What did you just say? That was not a choice. For Elga, if she is not respected, she will be feared. Whoa. This we knew. This is not new lore. We knew this. That's an old Elga lore. Yeah, it's still good though. Still good. An oldie but a goodie. Rehashing. Yeah.

well here you go mr dragon now can we go so you're handing over the purple crystal should i die yeah i think so you see you see a thumbs up a purple thumbs up and i kind of like can i just put it uh here you go

And give it to him? I don't know if I put it in him or what. Put it back in him. I know where it goes. I've seen the diagram. I have the diagram. It's in my inventory. He's not wrong. Yeah, yeah. And the other. You hear a loud whistle above. And the key drops the crystal down towards Draggeist. Oh, look at you guys. I also pull on the rope and pull those idiots down. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

They're gonna be in here with us then. Go ahead and give me a medicine check, Barney. I'll tell you what, since you did have the chart, roll it with advantage. I just realized that green crystal might be for another dragon. It could be his love. We don't know. 16? 16. That's pretty good. He says, Thank you. I can finally rest in peace.

I wish I could say the same. Oh, God. The rocky ground begins to quake and rumble violently while crags and crystals fall from the ceiling, and you just hear a rumbling echo throughout the chamber.

You all need to make a quick escape out of this cavern that you're in. Otherwise, you'll be burble-gurbling forever in the purple liquid pool that was in here. So we're going to do... I think we've done these in the past. Almost like a chase where we're going to have a couple of rounds. Everyone's going to make skill checks, describe how you're going to get out of the situation. Heck yeah. I'm going to get out of here. It's the wall of lava in Aladdin on Nintendo. Ooh. Don't forget, of course, you guys have the alchemist and Frankenstein with you, as well as Eddie. What? What?

We're leaving him here. You're gonna leave him here? I mean... I will remind you, you do need Eddie to clear your names. That's the whole reason you tried to capture him. What about just his head? Yeah, I was gonna even perceive if we decapitated him, would his head still function without his body? It would probably still have a smile on it, but I don't think it would function very well. All we gotta do is find a necromancer in town. It would not function enough to clear your name.

Fine, who's going to hold the stupid dude? Could I wear him like a backpack? It's a big backpack. I like it. Yeah. Elga's very strong. I know, but like the scale of just like... I guess not like a backpack, but like a big like scarf.

Like he's draped over her shoulders. Like if you found like a lamb out, you know, and you got your lamb, you got your lamb draped around your shoulders, you know, arms and the other. No, little Jesus doing it. Yeah, Elga's little Jesus. That's what we call little Elga, little Jesus.

-Okay, a clattering of crystal shards starts falling from the cave ceiling. What are y'all going to do? How are you going to avoid the sharp crystals? Which way are you going to exit? Back to the east the way you came or are you going to try to venture out to the west? -I say we go where we know. -The east? -Yeah, we came through the mouth of the dragon through the east.

The mouth of the dragon led you down into the cavern where you saw the pool in front of you. And then you went out to the east through some small caves to come around this direction. Yeah. In front of you at that point when you first entered was that large pool of liquid. Yeah. And I think that's where Elga started pulling crystals off the wall, if I remember right. Oh. Oh, and some of them did like transportation. Right. Those would be really handy now, wouldn't they? Yeah. But how do... Let's go back to those. Let's go that way. Okay. Does Elga remember which crystals of what?

Elga take notes. Elga's notepad might be in a different room. Oh, I got it. I have it. I got notes. I was going to say, Barney's unbeatable memory can help. Yes. Red, teleport, green, damage, yellow, sickness, blue, force. Those crystals are pretty close to the exit. So if you do get to them, you'll be pretty much out of here. In the clear. Right. Just going to get inspiration dice for taking notes. Thank you, Gus. Those are good notes.

The room you're in, there's kind of an exit to the west through the purple liquid, but you all said you want to go to the east, back the direction you came from. There's like a little landing with stone and then a small tunnel that heads up to the north, back around to those small caverns that split up to a bunch of different ways that you all came through in order to get here. I kind of want to go the new way. I want to go west.

- Okay. - Should we do it? - Y'all better decide quickly. - Oh, what the heck? - West. - Let's go West. - We should go West. - So the new way, all right. How are y'all gonna avoid the crystallocytes that are falling all around you? - Question, should we do an initiative order so we don't all try to... - That's a really good idea, yeah. Everyone go and roll initiative. - Inspiration dice for Barbara on that one. - Yeah, teacher, you didn't give us our homework.

Just in terms of like making sure we know who's smart and making a call. I'd roll day two. 21. 9. 13. Frankenstein. Do they need initiative if they're not really making their own decisions? I'm going to give them initiative just to keep things clear in case they need to act for whatever reason. Alchemist, 16. Not bad. And Frankenstein, 15. For Eddie as well, 15. I'll put him there.

Can I cast a spell? You can. And Barney's actually first. So, yeah. How are you going to avoid these sharp falling crystals? Or what are you going to do? Well, I'll cast Bless. Bless.

Bless up. Bless this mess. It's very southern of you. Bless you, child. Bless your heart. Up to three creatures. Whenever you make an attack roll or saving throw before a spell ends, it can roll a d4 and add the number. Oh, nice. It's like a mini inspiration, kind of. Yeah. It's like a... What was the butt slap? I don't remember what that spell was called. Guidance. Yeah, and it's for a minute. So if we go fast, then it lasts for a while.

Well, up to three creatures, so I can't do everyone. But I don't mind, like, having people get underneath me and then holding up my shield. But you could bless the three of us at the very least. Yeah, or... He could bless himself, too. Or myself, and then, like, get Elga underneath me.

I'm probably okay if you want to get the others. Yeah, and you would have to get Elga and her Eddie backpack under you. I don't know. Yeah, I don't think your shield... Okay, yeah, whatever. I have a shield. I'll bless the three of y'all. That's fine. I'm going to go ahead and give mine to old Eddie here. Why? That's a joke. That's a joke. You should have seen your faces.

Matide was already like putting a wing on your like forehead to see if you were sick. No, I'm stabbing Eddie right now. Yeah. Okay. I'll bless Matide and Chip and Mr. Alchemist. Oh, Mr. Alchemist. Okay. I want to make a note of that. Alchemist is blessed.

So you do that to help everyone. Then how is Barney specifically going to avoid the crystals that are falling directly at him right now? Holding up my shield over my head. Oh, holding up your shield. Okay. So just trying to get them all to bounce off of you. Yeah. And protect your head. Now, Barney, don't impinge them shoulders with that kind of movement. All right. You're, you know, got a little bit of rust on them joints. Okay. Oh, I know, but it's like a hat. I like hats.

You look good in a hat, Barney. Watch your head. Make a dexterity check as you're turtling around under that shield to see if you're able to avoid the falling crystals.

Oh, man, I didn't roll a very good five. You do your best to avoid the falling crystals, but maybe it's because you can't see up very well because of the shield, but yeah, a few of them bonk the shield pretty hard, which comes down and hits your head as well, causing you to stumble a little bit, knocking you to the ground. You're like knocked to your knees, so your movement will be halved. I don't take damage? Nah, nah. Chris, don't, don't. Well, I was ready to take damage. I was ready to take damage, not be slowed down.

Allow me to atone for my sins, Gus. I have a super high armor class and temp HP, so that's why I was, like, ready to take the damage. No, no, we're just learning that Barney's those kinds of, like, monks that do, like, the self-flagellation kind of thing. Yeah. Do you have the sin box still? I've been using it wrong. He does. He does. I forgot all about that. Oh, man.

The alchemist will try his best to try to dodge around the falling crystals. He's going to make a dexterity check as well. His dexterity is not very good. Fingers crossed for a good roll. Yeah, he gets... Oh, wait, he's blessed. It's not going to be good enough. It's not going to be good enough. You rolled a five. I rolled a five. He gets bonked in the head and takes a little bit of damage. He seems a little dazed.

but still making progress. Frankenstein, yeah, he's also going to try to dodge some of the falling crystals. He rolled a one, so he walks up. Oh, my God. Frank goes in one direction, Stein goes the other. They make no progress. Ha ha ha.

A crystal falls and splits their head in two. -Oh, no! -Oh, no! Yeah, a crystal falls and hits them. They're gonna have disadvantage on their next skill check. Off to a bad start, Berul. Not a really good start. Let's get it together. Matide, let's see if you can change things. What's your plan? How are you gonna avoid these crystals? Matide focuses their ki and uses it to cast Patient Defense.

which allows me to take the dodge action as a bonus action on my turn. So I'm a dodge. Couldn't you dodge anyway without having to use a bonus action? Yeah, but I believe the dodge action gives me extra, it lets me automatically avoid an attack. Looks like it makes attack rolls against you made with disadvantage.

Oh, okay. And you can see the attacker. You can make dexterity saving throws with advantage. Crystal's attacking me? They're not necessarily attacking you, but we'll say you make a dexterity save to see if you're able to dodge out of the way. Yeah. Okay. Then I shall do that.

Then you have plus four or your D4. Oh, man. Bad rolls. I rolled a seven and then a 12. I'll take the 12 plus a D. 12 might work. Cat's bar, which gave me a one. That's 13. It's not pretty, but Mateed is able to get out of the way of the falling crystals. I think maybe you were overconfident in your ability to dodge. Bet you since the last people who were trying to dodge the crystals, thank you very much. It's the best so far, but Mateed is able to somewhat gracefully step aside.

because you succeeded on that check, you'll get advantage on the next scenario. Yeah, I will.

- Oh, nice. - Chip, what about you? And you all are slowly, just to reiterate, making your way to the west. Not the way you came in, but the new way. - Chip loosens up, he limbers up and he says, "Okay, time to do this thing." And then I'm gonna run and I'm also going to do a bit of a cunning action. I'm gonna dash. I'm gonna get real fast. - Ooh, you're gonna leave everyone behind in this tomb as it collapses around them? - No, I'm gonna scout ahead and make sure that the crew's good to go.

Clear the path and all. So what is that? A dexterity check there? Yeah, let's call it a dex check just to avoid the crystals. Okay, here we go. Ooh, 10. And I'm going to do the four. The four for blessing. At least a three.

That's a 14. Oh yeah. You are also able to avoid the falling crystals and make your way up ahead and begin scouting out the route. As a result of making a successful check, we'll say you get five temp HP. Hey gang, call me Chimp Haney because I'm bouncing around like a little monkey. Huh? I will not do that. I choose not to partake in that. Okay. Nobody? Oh, okay. Okay.

Up ahead, since you get a little further than everyone else, you're able to see that you're at the southern end of that large pool of liquid that you all saw when you first walked into the cavern. And there are islands of rocks and bones scattered throughout this pool that you think you could maybe hop from island to island to make your way back up to the entrance where you came from. So we're heading north now? Yeah, you're going to go west and then kind of like turn around up to the north. Gotcha.

If you remember when you first came into this cavern, I said that you saw this large pool of liquid and then there were bones on the far side. Like that's where you are now. You're on that far side. - So we went the opposite way. - Right. It's like you're going like a whole circle around the entire complex.

Just because I saw John making a note, like I assume you're drawing like a map or something. So just so it all makes sense to you. Does my dash get me as far as to get to the part where I'm going to be hopping and skipping? Right. Okay. As I'm hopping and skipping from island to island, I'm saying Dolly Parton's Islands in the stream. That is what we are. You probably aren't hopping yet. I think you've just gotten to the part where you can see that we're going to have to hop.

He's just humming it to himself. Okay, that's it for Chip. Elga, you're up. You have a little extra weight on you with Eddie around your neck. What are you going to do? Well, first I'm going to turn Eddie from a scarf into an umbrella. Ella, Ella, Ella. So I'm going to... Elga, Elga. She's going to hold him over her head, but also try to dodge the...

or whatever's falling, crystals falling. I will say that the weight of Eddie does make it a little more difficult. You're going to be taking a 1d4 penalty on these rolls that you make to avoid things just because of the extra weight. Eddie is not making this easy. He's gone very limp and is just dead weight, making you really work for it. And then because I could see this happening, I have advantage on dexterity saving throws. Yeah, go ahead and make a dex saving throw with advantage.

First one's 18. Next one is a three. So we're going to take the 18. 18 minus. Minus. Or ye. 14. That's still pretty good. You rolled well enough. So 14, Elga, you're almost showing off here. You know, you're able to dodge everything and you're using Eddie as an umbrella as you dance around, avoiding all of the stalactites. Is that Elga I see using Eddie as a jump rope as she just bounces through this cave?

Just scraping him on the floor. Dodging crystallactites along the way. I like to imagine that his hand is just in her mouth as she's just like drinking as she's drinking. Just like those cats. It's like a camelback. Oh, like a camelback. Yeah, a camelback or like the beer, what's it called, beer helmet. Yeah. This man's not going to be alive when we get back to the game. Good. Good.

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As you do all of this, you know, the alchemist kind of like shakes off the cobwebs from being hit and catches up with you, Elka, and says, that's quite impressive. Thank you. Keep running. Will do. Okay, so yeah, you all reach the edge of the cavern. Crystals are continuing to fall all around you. You come upon the sprawling pool of sparkling purple fluid with a few islands of rocks and bones. The bones start rattling and coalesce into a dragonic skeletal mounds that are blocking your way. How are you going to get across them?

Skeletal mounds that are in our way as we're trying to traverse across islands of rock? Correct. Okay. In this pool of purplish liquid. So they're more traversable spots or they're barriers? The bones are like kind of

coalescing into barriers. The bones are almost like swarming together. Like if they were insects, you would say they were a swarm, but they're bones, so I don't know what word you would use. So are they like animated? Well, they're moving of their own volition. Okay. Or seemingly, I should say. The alchemist grabs you by the arm, Barney. Perhaps some sort of religious cleansing could put these bones to rest. Religious cleansing. Okay. Okay.

This coming from the cleric that didn't know what an alms box was. We're screwed. We're screwed. You got it. Well, I already used my channel divinity, so I don't have that. Oh, boom. Okay.

I guess like guiding bolt like through all the bones and like it's attacking the bones. He's attacking the bones. Spell attack with radiant damage. It's only one target though. I was going to say that. You could hit one target. It would kind of clear the way a little bit, but you know, wouldn't disperse all of them if that's what you're looking for. Well, I don't know anyone who's religious. Yeah, I have turn undead, but I already used my channel divinity. Hmm.

So spell slots taken? Yeah, it's once per short rest. Yeah. Better do something else. Is Barney frustrated? Okay, I have a question, Gus. Yeah. My protection from evil, tell spelllands one rolling creature who touches it protect against certain types of creatures. Grant several benefits. Creatures with those types have disadvantage on attack rolls against the target. Target can't be charmed, frightened, or possessed by them. That would, like, make him run away from us, right? Yeah.

if I like put it on myself and then ran into them. - It makes any of that creature type have disadvantage if they try to attack you. Doesn't necessarily move them away, but it gives them like penalties for trying to do anything to you.

I'll just cast Guiding Bolt at the biggest chunk of them and then run ahead with my Walker and just try and attack them. Try to clear a hole? Yeah. All right, yeah. He's like an elderly Kool-Aid man. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's hear it, Barney. Get off my lawn. The famous saying Kool-Aid man always says, get off my lawn. He always said that.

You sometimes say that too much. Yeah, go ahead and make a ranged spell attack. 18. Nice. Oh, yeah, it very easily and clearly goes straight towards some of the bones and hits it. Go ahead and roll your damage. 15. 15 points of radiant damage. Okay, your guiding bolt goes through and hits some of the skeletal remains, clearing a way for you to proceed and move forward. Okay, let's go.

try his best to get through it. Another classic Kool-Aid man. Any of the others he'll just kind of like run into. Okay, just like really trying to like bully your way through. Yeah, like Captain America and Winter Soldier just barreling through that office building. Yeah. Yeah, that seems to be working for you just fine, Barney.

Yeah, we'll say because of how this worked out, you'll get advantage on the next scenario because you were able to do that. Ooh. Nice. It's the alchemist's turn. The alchemist rummages around in his bag and he pulls out a potion and he hands it to you, Elga. Oh!

Another one. Here, if you need this. What does it do? This will allow you to briefly fly 10 feet. Okay. Thank you. Isn't that sweet? Wow. Another potion from the alchemist to specifically Elga. Oh, man. There's no favoritism at all there. No. And remember, it's because Elga made her role successfully. And I said the alchemist came up to her. And that's why she's a. Oh, sure. You have advantage on your next check.

You're only helping the people who did good. Well, they put themselves in a position to be helped by succeeding on their checks. Okay. So when I fell and hit the ground, that just leave him behind. You fell behind. Oh, so it's our fault. Oh, all right. Typical boomer attitude. It's the teeth turn, right? Go ahead and forgive her student loan debt while you're at it, eh? Yeah.

Yeah, Mateed, you're up. Then Chip, then Elka. Yeah, Mateed just flies across this pool. Oh, okay. It's no muss, no fuss for Mateed. Yeah, I ain't doing this. You get up there. Make another dex save or dex check just to maneuver around any falling debris as you're flying. You said save? Whichever you prefer. I want save. I guess more.

Don't even need to reroll. I got a 24. Oh yeah, no problem. You're doing like barrel rolls and whatnot as you fly through the air. Do a barrel roll. You're dexterous. Very dexterous. Yeah. Chip, you got there first ahead of everyone. Maybe you slowed up a little bit when you saw all the bones swarming together. Jogging in place. A hole has been punched through. Is there anything else you want to do to try to get across?

No, let's just keep up the good work there and just, you know. You're like the guy who's jogging and comes to a red light. Yeah. And like you can't go, but you're still like jogging in place. I raise two fingers to my neck to make sure my heart rate is still going. And then I'm just going to proceed. Green light. So you're just going to hop across the rocks. Yeah. Yeah. Make your choice like an athletics or dexterity check to see, you know, if you're able to hop across the rocks successfully without stumbling.

Okay, let's do a dex check. Ka-chow! Do I still get the blessing or is that a one-time use? No, it's for a minute. Yeah, so you would still have it. Well, it's specifically for attack roll or saving throws. Was that... Oh, it was a check. It was a check.

Okay. Well, then I got an 11. Oh, but wait. I said because of your success previously, you have advantage on this check. That's right. You did. All right. Let's roll dex again. Oh, that's a 19. Mentally, you picture stubbing your toe and falling in the liquid and dying a horrible death.

But you shake it off. You're like, no, no, that's not going to happen. And you're able to deftly jump from island to island, rock to rock. The visual representation that would be like just Chip for a moment gets this really far off look in his face, just staring at the water, and then shakes it off and does some flips across. You got to have a positive outlook if you want a positive outcome. Things got dark there for a second. Hey, Micah, can we add like sneaker squeaks to my...

like a basketball game kind of sound. Aren't they supposed to be for stealth? That's why you called them sneakers. That was the joke. Yeah, you're right. I know. But sneaker squeaks are just so funny. Oh, shoot.

Yeah, I hop across and I don't know. Is there anything else I can do other than this? Is anybody struggling that needs assistance? Can I scout ahead? I can do it. Oh, I'll do another cunning action and dash so that I get even further ahead and continue to scout out the... I think you're good. I'd say hold on to that. Yeah, you just get ahead. I don't know. I'm going to keep pushing ahead.

Come on team, let's go! He wants to get as much space as he can so when things go wrong, he's closer to the exit. Oh no, my dearly beloved team died in a horrible purple, you know, boiling mess. Oh shoot. Blaine's kyborg used lucky up like it was like going out of style. Mmm, so good. Chip, because you were able to do this so deftly, you get five temp HP. What?

because I did it so deftly. - So dumb, so dumb. - I can't hear you. Oh, you should have seen your face. - How do I kick someone? - I already have maxed it. - Yeah. - What? I already have the five Timpakes, so I guess, do I get an advantage on the next one again or not? - Sure, why not? We'll give you that. - Okay. - Micah says there's a button that turns the squeaks off and on on your shoes, by the way. - Oh, I like that. - Elga. - Elga is going to drink her potion, but before she does, she's gonna look at Chip and go,

- Sticking out her tongue. - Sticking out her tongue. - Sticks out her tongue. - Yeah. - For the audio listeners. - Yeah. - There you go, there you go. Mm, tastes like bubble gum. - Eh, that's all right. - Chip makes his tail go across his neck like a knife and then like slices through across it. Oh, just kidding. I would never kill a little girl again. - Try me.

All right. Yeah, she drinks the potion. Okay, so you're able to fly 10 feet, which isn't far enough to get across the entire way, but it helps you traverse this pool. Okay. We'll say that because you're able to fly a little bit for 10 feet, we'll say you have advantage on any check to get across, like a athletics or dexterity check, whatever you want to make. I'll do an athletics check.

And then you still do have a minus D4 because you're carrying Eddie. Here's my athletics. Yee. I was only 12. But you have advantage. Not 20. 26, minus 3, 23. Elga, you are just showing off in front of everyone. I tend to really do well in caves for some reason. It's just for going across the purple liquid, going from rock to rock, like gliding a little bit, just going back.

I want to say she did say bat under her breath when she took the potion. You're saying bat. I heard bet, bet, bet. Oh, yeah. She's beautiful at heart. Yo, this trick is so slay. Oh, my God.

We got Gen Z Elga here. Barney does a dab. You all progress past this obstacle and the cave continues to crumble all around you. Your heart pounds in your chest as you race towards the daylight pouring from the mouth of the cave. A spectral purple dragon emerges from the ground obstructing the sunlit exit. You recognize as Draghast. With my dying breath.

Do you mind doing that like in like two seconds when we leave and then... Just hold on for just one moment. We got one fixing to do. We're all gonna collapse the cave in a count of 20.

The 20. Okay, close your eyes. Maybe y'all can try to persuade him. Barney, are you going to try to persuade him? You're up first. He's going to collapse it. Just because? To prevent anyone from finding this cave in the future. Why do you want to hide this cave? Bombs do not deserve to set foot on this sacred ground.

Well, don't you want this holy ground to remain holy and accessible? Otherwise you'll be forgotten. You don't want to be forgotten. The only way to maintain the sanctity is to prevent spawns from entering. Oh, won't you not be able to enter too? And other dragons? He's dying. He's dying, Barney. I was the last. Go ahead and make a persuasion check.

22. But should it not remain a vessel of fear for the spawns to see fear and respect? You are indeed a man of holiness seeking to preserve such a place. You have returned to me that which I sought. In exchange, I will permit you to leave. However, no other spawn shall enter after me. Okay, that's okay with me.

If you can let my friends go as well. If they're friends of yours, they must be friends indeed. Thank you. I was really gassing up Barney there. Barney farts. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. When you get to a certain age, you just can't stop it. Draghast lets out a roar and you all race out of the collapsing cave at the last second. It's a crash!

Dust particles cloud the morning air until everything finally settles, revealing the warmth of daylight once more. The alchemist says, Well, never in my days did I expect to witness a dragon, let alone live to tell the tale. Is everyone all right? I'm fantastic, actually. Got any more of those mystery potions? Oh, I have two healing potions you all can have.

Oh, perfect. I don't need it, though. He rummages around in his bag and pulls out two healing potions. Crew, I hate to report it, but during the kerfuffle of getting out of that there cave, it seems Eddie suffered a couple more stab wounds. Must have been falling stalag-whatevers-tights-mites-who-knows. Oh, but he's bleeding bad. Oh, dear. Oh, no. Oh, he's bleeding?

Didn't you already feed on him? Maybe. Eric at this point has got a sloshy belly that just keeps like, it's a little like distended and overfed kitten. Like an overfed kitten. Anybody else want to taste it? I mean on the whole daddy. We could mend him right up. Okay, cast mending on his torn. No, not on A. It's not healing him. He's going to come back.

This is Barney's character. It's not healing. I'm just making sure it doesn't spill all over the place. But look at poor Helga. She's gotten blood everywhere. Poor girl. It just seems like a lot of the blood spilled specifically around Helga's mouth for some reason. It's very dirty. Strange. Well, it was wrapped around my neck. My face is in the way. Okay. Who took those healing potions, by the way? I take one. There you go. I got one from earlier, so I'm good.

Barney, I think maybe you need this. Okay, I'll take it, but I don't need it right now. That's okay. Just put it in your pocket or whatever you have. That's awfully kind. If y'all want, at this point, you could take a short rest or you could keep traveling on. Short rest! Short rest! As if we're not going to ever take a rest when you offer us one, Gus.

Well, anytime y'all rest, I have to roll for Eddie's escape. I mean, nothing. Never mind. I will not rest. I don't sleep. I rest. I'm a ghost. I don't really gain anything from a short rest, so I'm just going to watch him. I get my key points back.

I'll take one. I get my cleric stuff back. I got some good old HP there. Nice. All right, y'all just take a brief breather in order to regain your bearings and rest up a little bit for the long journey through the snare lands back to Musketton. It's going to take a little longer to go back since you don't have steeders this time, but you know the way. You've been there before. Everyone go ahead and make a survival check to see if you're able to get back safely. Barney, I believe you have an advantage on this one because you have the map.

Oh wait, no, that wasn't Barney. It was Chip who has that map. Whatever, I rolled a nat 20, so 24. Oh yeah, that's a nat 20! Minus one, 19. I rolled an eight. Twelve! You all survive the snarelands once more and eventually arrive at the eastern edge of Masked. Ash no longer seems to be falling from the sunny skies and fresh mountain air fills your nostrils.

Oh, that's good. You hear a voice calling out. There they are. You recognize it as Weegor. A scarred hunchback with two broken arms leads a throng of angry townsfolk straight towards you. These are the criminals who attacked me, burned our village, destroyed our windmule, and caused Maskhatten's first woods blackout. Out from the crowd steps a plump mustachioed man leading a troop of blue uniformed coughs behind him. He's armed with a hand crossbow revolver and holds up a set of manacles.

Freeze, fugitives! I'm Chief Inspector Weezer, and you're all under arrest for the aforementioned offenses. Lay down your weapons and hands above your head. Well, we did no such thing.

chief inspector Weezer. It's been too long. You old son of a gun. Oh, that mustache is looking better than ever. Hey, we just got back from saving Frankenstein and we captured Eddie who is actually responsible for this whole kerfuffle. We also protected the town from the drag on that. Everyone actually saw burning the village. So with that being said, we go or go stuff it. You suck.

Make a persuasion check. I'm going to give you advantage because that was very, very thorough rebuttal. Recapped everything. That's a 22 and an 18. 22. Let's go. That's pretty good. Do you think he didn't read your note as well that you left on him? Eddie chimes up and says, don't believe them, Weezer. They kidnapped me and they were going to murder me for no good reason. Weegor's telling the truth. I'm just a poor,

Poor innocent man, sailed by these miscreants. Could I grab him by the neck and say, if you don't tell them the truth, you will have no more breathing abilities. You see what I mean, officer? Help! Elga, make an intimidation check against Eddie, because you're trying to convince him to stop. A 13?

Stop assaulting that citizen. Mateed turns to Frankenstein and goes, perhaps you could help a little bit right now. Wee.

Yes, all of us. Thank you. Chip's having fun. Chip tucks away how to learn French into his fanny pack. Messy, messy. Essential French for any tourist. Frankenstein steps forward. It is true. This troop of friends saved me. I don't know if I would believe anything, Vigor says. And with that, Vigor becomes incredibly angry.

and runs at you all with his forearms flailing about wildly. All four of you make a dexterity saving throw.

And because I see him coming, it's with advantage? Yes, you do have advantage on that one. I got a four. That's a six. Fourteen. Nineteen. Elga and Mateed are able to dodge out of the way, but Chip and Barney, as Weegor charges at you all with his furious flapping fists, they shove you to the ground. They knock you prone onto the ground, and you take a little bit of damage. He's attacking an old man. Each of you takes...

5 points of damage from getting knocked down. Well, there goes my tinpain fee. Can I get up and dust myself off real quick? Sure. And address the crowd. Uh, uh, garble garble townspeople! Uh, as you just witnessed, this man here assaulted me and my elderly friend!

If you don't need any more evidence as to who's the bad guy, I don't know what it's gonna take. You hear murmuring amongst the crowd, "Gerbil garbil, gerbil garbil, gerbil garbil, gerbil garbil." That's what we say in our land. You can have that one. It's a free... Gerbil garbil. Gerbil garbil.

Make a persuasion check there for me, Chip, just to even get the crowd on your side. That is a 26. Wow. You put plus eight to persuasion? Homes across Musketton have this same gerbil garble on their floor mat from here henceforth. At this point, Weezer would say, "You make a very compelling case there, Mr. Heine. Perhaps we should investigate this a little further.

Come, let's make our way to the train station and we can sort this out. I am all down for investigation. You have our full support. We will not be going in with handcuffs. We just want to make sure that this is all very civil and that we are not...

Under harassed. Harassed? Gerbil gerbil. Gerbil garble. No, no, I don't believe manacles will be necessary. We will simply take the train back to Atro City and straighten everything out there. Mmm. Can I consult with the gang? Yeah. Is this a trap? This seems like the way that we are going to do this. Yeah? Yes, I believe this is the progression of the story. Mmm. Mmm.

Elga raises an interesting point. I think as long as we have Frankenstein who can vouch for us, we are okay. Yes.

Okay. Because he's one of the respected people here. Well, choo-choo, let's boogie. I'm, I'm, that sounds like a great idea. Yeah. Yeah. But what is going to happen with Eddie while we're gone? Eddie is coming with us. Oh, I agree. Eddie shall be taken into custody until we figure out his connection and involvement with recent events. Does Elga seem okay with that? Because Barbara seems...

Yes. No, yes, I'm okay with this. Can I, can I like infer if Weezer's being forthright with us? Yeah, you can make an insight check.

Hmm, 18. Hmm. Yeah, it seems like there is no hidden motivation behind what Weezer is telling you. Okay. I believe him. On to the train. I feel like he should trust us by now. Well, yeah, he's, I mean, he's starting to trust you after, you know, what you all have done and Chip's very convincing speeches. And my beautiful note. And your note.

Choo-choo! You make your way to the train station just as the next train is starting to leave the depot. You all climb aboard and the alchemist flashes a few golden tickets at Disp, who nods approvingly and moves on down the car. Next stop, Carcassouk. Next stop, Carcassouk. The alchemist winks at you all. I figured these tickets would come in handy down the line. He hands tickets to each of you. It seems that we can finally take a breather and relax for a moment.

It will be some time before we arrive to the next station. As for me, I'm heading to our suite to catch some much needed shut eye. He gives you a tip of his hat and walks away. You all are free to take a long rest. So just for fun, using only three words, I want each of you to describe the way you take your long rest. What is this game? In the nude. Oh man. Upside down.

I don't know how to top either of these. Barney doesn't even need one word. That was like a cop out to do this challenge. Oh, is he snoring? Yeah. Wheeze my cat.

Oh. Yeah. That sounds lovely. The cat sleeping, purring. Yeah. A little cat nap? Yeah. Cat bird nap. You all take time to rest in your own unique ways. Several hours pass by as you lull into the relaxing rhythm of train tracks clanking beneath you. Suddenly, you hear the screeching of iron rails quickly followed by calamitous. You feel your bodies tumble and slam into wall after wall until, wham, everything stops.

Your heads are spinning and throbbing with pain. Some of you taste blood and sweat on your lips, while others are blinded by a bright light peeking through your swollen eyelids. You feel around trying to gather your bearings, but your hands don't meet carpet or even glass. You feel sand, grains of sweltering sand running through your fingers. You manage to lift your head and open your eyes just as the sun dips past dunes of desolate desert, and then everything goes black. ♪

Dang it. Sounds like this is going off the rails. Well, that was a good run. Sorry you all got on the train and died. It's really tragic that we're having to cut this arc so short. No, no, no. Find out what happens in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I hate sand.

He gets everywhere. Wait, so is that the end of that arc? Was that it? Muscaton? You all got on a train and rode off into the sunset. We'll see. Have to tune in next week to find out. Awesome. All right. Thanks for listening, everyone. Oh, don't forget, we have some new merch. Yes. Good news about merch. We premiered our brand new dice at RTX, which was definitely in the past and not in the future from where we recorded this. But it's...

If you weren't able to come to RTX, it will be in the store in a few weeks. We will give you guys a heads up. It should be in the store, the roostteeth.com store by the beginning of August. We'll give you an exact date when it's out, but you're going to want to get them quick because they're going to go fast. The awesome thing about these dice is you roll a one, Chris will come to your house and personally apologize to you and be your man service for the day. And if you roll a 20, a little face of Lin-Manuel pops out and goes, uh-uh-uh.

That's right. This episode of Tales from the Stink of Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger with additional editing work by David Saunier. Also want to give a special thanks to some friends who provided voiceover for characters in this episode. The Alchemist, voiced by BlizzBear, at BlizzBear. Frankenstein, voiced by Ben Ernst, at Halcyon underscore Ben. Skelegon, aka Draghast, voiced by Quentin Smith, at Quix underscore 18. Eddie, voiced by Andrew Rosas, at Mr. Andrew Rosas.

We go with a hunchback henchman voiced by Jack Petillo at Jack underscore P and chief inspector Weezer voiced by Micah Reisinger. What can't he do at Micah dot Reisinger tune in next time for another thrilling episode of tales from the stinky dragon.