C02 - Ep. 11 - Menace of Maschatten - Days Dragonne By
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This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon is sponsored by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? Maybe you never skip leg day or maybe therapy day.

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This is a Rooster Teeth production. It's been a while, all you evil ebly. Flock on into the stinky dragon. Drink up our latest java. Cappuccino de mentiras piadosas. It's a mixture of 2% truth milk, vanilla beak powder, lightly blurred sugar, freshly rude espresso, and topped with ground sinful men.

One puff of this poultry potable is enough to crane any neck from its nest. Previously, our adventurers set foot in the snare land searching for Skelligon and Frankenstein. After some sinking in some stinking sand and other snares, the party found a skeletal entrance to a dragonic den. There they found old Skelle and Frankie, but were interrupted by a third party, Eddie.

Draw yourself a drink. Let's dive on into this dank drama. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. My name is Gustavo Sorolla. I am your dungeon master, and I'm joined by our four players. As always, they are... Barbara Dunkelman, the voice and person who is playing. Elga Von Brath, the female half-elf empire barbarian. Blaine Gibson, a human, playing. Chip Haney, a tiefling. A human.

playing. Am I wrong? That's true. Chris Damaris, a robot, playing Barney, Barney, a human cleric. John Reisinger, a very tired dad, playing Matty Confucius, who's an Eric Cochran monk ghost. Ah, we be.

Before we get started and dive into our story, I'm going to hit you guys with an arrow. We're going to roll a D100. We've got a list of 100 questions that were submitted online via the Stinky Dragon subreddit and Discord, and a few thrown in by Micah, our writer. 32 is sent to us by Colstock on Discord. What is something your character wishes most to lose or gain?

I can go Barney. To gain back my memories. I don't remember. Do you need to lose anything? Forgetfulness. You need to forget to forget. Yeah. Chip hopes to gain his wife back. Carol. Duh. And he wants to lose about 10 pounds right there in the midsection. Am I right? Am I right?

You know, this is a little known fact about Elga, but she actually had a sister named Evina. Lore! Elga lore just dropped. Did you guys just get the hot new Elga lore? Yes, it's fresh off the shelves. Or whatever the kids

There's so many conspiracies But I won't go into detail in case the writer of this show maybe has other details that he wants to go into I was like on the edge of my seat I know you had Blaine, the audience member, listening in to you She did not turn into a vampire But she was my twin sister Oh no, she still is a vampire?

You guys aren't listening to this? This is a confessional private room. That's funny to visualize these as like little confessionals. Our players, our little characters. Matide, they're ready for your interview. The only thing that Matide and I myself would like to gain is knowledge. Specifically, as I further pursue my monk skills,

skills and abilities. That is my only goal, as well as the perfect croissant recipe. Barney, I couldn't hear exactly, but I think Matisse said they wanted to become a monkey? I don't know. Oh, it explains so much. Barney and everyone else is just up against, pressed up against the interview wall, trying to listen in. Also, I just want to shout out John's French accent. It is not easy to do a French accent, and you're doing it really well. I just want to commend you. That means a lot coming from a Canadian. Yeah.

Compliment my Canadian accent next, my northern accent. You actually do. Very good. Oh, shucks. And Chris, you sound very old. Well, thank you. Well, I think Chris pulls it off because Chris just sounds confused. And that comes across really well. You walk to the narrow winding passages to the east. There's a few shimmering crystals on the wall and the caves seem to kind of...

wind and split up and reconvene and make their way down to the south. You enter a wide grotto with an open skylight in the cave ceiling, a beam of morning light pouring into the cavern. To the south is a pond trickling with sparkling purple fluid and to the north is a treasure trove of valuables. In the center you see Frankenstein chained to a pedestal of rock flanked by a massive winged creature of barbed black bones blazing with purple flames who you recognize as Skelegon.

Your time is almost up, you seditious spawn. Perhaps I should slay you for your sins now, and pay another visit to your village to sprinkle your ashes. Stein not afraid of Big Lizard? Stein save Frank Frank! No! Please, ignore him. He doesn't know what he's saying. I beg you, don't harm anyone else. Then tell me where the crystal is! It's...

You said he was the thief that stole the crystal. Where is your proof? And out from the shadow steps a large skinless person with bulging white muscles and green veins. Cool your blazing bones, Skelegon. This is the fun part. You've just got to know how to play the game.

Eddie's lime green eyes glow and a wide splintered smile of jagged teeth comes across his face. He slowly drives a claw through the sutures holding Frankenstein's face together and the stitches start to rip one by one. Please, somebody, help me!

The alchemist huddles you all up and says, "We need to come up with a plan. What are we gonna do?" You know, we don't have the crystal. Can we not just give it to him and call it a day? It seems a bit odd that Mr. Eddy is here as well, working with the large daigon. Does it seem odd, really? If you really think about it? But yes, I agree.

I mean, it seems a full-on assault on Eddie did not go so well last time. Yeah, I look at, specifically at Chip. Well, I rub my bruises from that fight.

Okay, quick temperature check of the room. How's everyone looking on, like, health? Like, say we did try to take these guys on. A little ruckus? A little a fist of cuffs? I'm a little tired. Elga's feeling pretty strong. I'm not feeling so good, Elga. Well, there's nothing I can do to help you, unfortunately. Looks at the cleric. What about those elixirs I gave you previously?

Yeah, we gave the healing ones to Chip and Barney, and then we gave the other one to Elga, which was like the... It was one of growth? Yeah, you had the growth. I do have a healing elixir. You should take that healing elixir. I mean, okay. Okay, I'm going to take a potion. I'm going to take a potion of healing.

So, like, say I go over the amount that I need. Could I get that in, like, bonus points? Could I cash that in? No, no temp HP from this. God. I think that actually it's, like, kind of like a surplus in calories and actually goes straight to your waist. Oh, no. I got to lose the OBs. I know, I know. I'm not trying to gain them. It sounds like maybe what you should do is save the potion for when you really need it. I already used it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Barty's just wiping it away from his mouth. Barty's just, like, throwing the glass vial on the ground. I am quite scared, though, because, like, say I take a mighty hit, which I have from Eddie in the past, I'm dead. Then it would seem that we need to figure out some sort of stealthily approach to this problem. Yeah. Yeah, what you do is you put me out in front. Uh-huh. And then I go, boom, boom. Uh-huh.

I thought you went before we left. Just, just, just... For the audio listener, though, when Barbara said boom, she put up both of her fists as though, like, that's their names. Boom, boom. Boom and bam. Genuinely, I don't know how to approach this where we do not get into a fight, and I would love any ideas. Well, here's the thing. He's looking for his crystal, which we have acquired.

So maybe there's a deal where we trade Frankenstein for the crystal and avoid the fight altogether? In my head, the visual of just the crystal flying over whatever rock we're hiding behind and going over to them. Take it! Yeah. What if someone held on to the crystal and, like, we held it hostage? Oh. Hostage. Yeah. Alchemist, what do you think we should do? Yeah.

That's the move once we were in our phone-a-friend tactic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are correct that a head-on encounter would be difficult, but we do have this item, Skele-Gon, once, so perhaps we can broker a trade. Who has it? Do I have it? I believe you do. I think I do. It's probably mixed in there with a bunch of croissants and muffins. It smells delicious. Maybe we should not have the item with us because then we could just get killed. Oh.

Okay. And we send the big scary... Me? No, the big one. The skeleton. Gone. Make him go away. So then it's just a one-on-one with us. Well, we don't know how deep those binds tie. Wait, what? How... The team puts a wing over his mouth and just goes...

I like this idea since they have not noticed our approach yet. What I think would be very good since I am... A bird? I think... Is Barney aging in front of me because I think your voice is getting older and older. Sounds very... He's just going like the way of Indiana Jones, that guy just drinking the wrong cup. I drank the wrong potion.

I will stay back with the crystal, and you three may go forward and approach the negotiations. What if we hide the crystal far away? I'll take it to the entrance of this cave. I agree with keeping the crystal on the person. Yeah, and they can fly. That's a bird.

On your person means on your belonging, you know, it does not to be a person. Mateed is a good one to have it. They're very mobile. They could get out of here in a jiffy. A bird! And listen, I'm happy to talk. If I need to do some killing, we'll do some killing. But I'm happy to go to the table and talk. Then we have our plan. Yeah. Okay, Mateed...

tries to like move us out of out of any sort of visual path of like this the of like skelegon so just to um kind of like reset the stage we talked about this in the previous episode you had taken a passage to the south and kind of turned to the west okay and come into this room with the liquid and the the treasure hoarder where all this is happening so if you want to get out of sight you just have to go back around the corner to the north i don't know if you want to keep going because

Further up to the north, there's some more caverns and some routes you had gone through. I just want to be around a corner with an earshot of what's happening. So like out of sight, but within earshot. Correct. Okay. Yeah. You don't have to go very far for that. Birds can hear really well. Can they? Yeah. They can. Owls can. Yeah. Okay. I wasn't sure if it was like an owl thing or all birds. They got good senses. They got sharp senses. But they got no like ear lobes. They just like holes in their head. Birds can hear really well. Okay. We'll see how that roll goes. Ha ha ha ha.

Matide pops out of sight around the corner, leaving the remainder three of the party to do. Here's an idea. Yeah? I'm a little girl. So what if I just skip out into the opening going, "La la la la la," and see, just be like, "Oh, I think I got lost," and see what happens. Maybe they not be so violent and they're willing to- Well, that sounds adorable.

Do we have any concern that Eddie might recognize you? Because we did try to fight him. Eddie and Skelegon have seen this party before. Oh. Yes. Well, maybe they see a lot of people.

My suggestion is to stick to Mr. Barney's plan, and you approach this as a negotiate. Okay. If we want to look more intimidating, you know, I can put you on my shoulders, and then we'll look bigger. You know how when you encounter a bear? I have an idea. I have an idea. Do you have a big coat you can put on? I have an idea. What? Okay, go ahead, Barney. All right. You, Chip. Yeah. You stay back and be sneaky and see if you can find, you know,

Another angle and then and then the two of us will go in and chat. Okay, so maybe I can you know help Frankenstein get away while you guys are doing the chat I will say I'm stealthy, but I'm also very friendly

Got the charisma. I got the riz as the kids say. I don't think friendly is going to necessarily aid us in this situation. Yeah, yeah, we might need some more intimidation. Try not to be friendly while you're being sneaky because they might not work together if you're talking and being friendly. You got good stealth stats. You could do that. I also have very good charisma, so I could intimidate or be friendly. Don't meta this. Let the old man and the girl. Yeah.

Alright, so... La la la la la la la. Elga skips out in front. Yes! I disappear into the shadows. Excuse me, I'm looking for my granddaughter. Ha ha!

Oh, I love this. Let's go. I like how we're just the only two other people there. All right. Right off the bat, Chip, make a stealth roll. Oh, this will be easy. No problems. Ten. Come on. Hold on. I got an inspiration die. You're using it for that? Okay. I would. Yeah? Yeah. All right. Well, this will be better. That's a 21. There we go. I slick into the shadows. Good news, everybody. We don't need to get a new rogue. You slick into the shadows.

Slink? Slink is the word you were looking for. I was looking for slink and slip. Anyways, I'm in the shadows. So Chip disappears. Elka, you go skipping out? Yes. I'll follow. Okay. And Barney, are you saying that line? Slow down, yes. Granddaughter. Where is she? La la la.

I am just a little girl who got lost in the- I hear her! Slow down! I'm coming. I'm gonna give you all the benefit of the doubt, and I'm gonna roll wisdom checks for Skelegon and Eddie to see if they remember you. That's our dungeon master. Just cause, let's see how this goes. He's a fair god. That's a low one for Eddie. That's low, that's not good, that was an eight. And for Skelegon, that's a five. Okay. Oh my goodness. Idiots.

You know, like, just humanoids in general all look alike to them. Right. Because they're not a humanoid. Skele- Skelegon is so big. Yeah. And humanoids are so small. Yeah. It's hard to pick up detail. I guess it's like when you go to a person's house and have five of the same breed and you're like, how the hell do you tell these things apart? Oh, like it's a pet. Yeah, yeah. I guess Skelegon and Eddie turn and look at you. Who are you? How did you find my lair? Uh, you know, I was just chasing a ball like all the little children do.

I guess it slipped into this cavern area?

That we are in, and I have to chase it down, and then my grandfather here, very old. So at this point, Mateed could actually just leave, right? I'm good. I could just fly. I got wings. I can phase through walls. Yeah, you could. Technically. I want to hear more about this ball. And then the ball rolled down, and I've been looking for it ever since. Do you think you'll be able to help us find it?

There is no ball here that'll spawn. Oh, who's that with you over there? What is the end game is what I want to know. These are my cohorts. We're having a meeting of sorts. Why is that one all tied up? He likes it. Do you like it? Does Frankenstein recognize you guys? Let's make Frankenstein make a wisdom check to you as long as I've been doing this.

Frankenstein rolled a 19. Frankenstein looks at you two with very, with confusion in their eyes. Barney returns the look of confusion. I guess while this is going on, Chip, what are you doing since you're sneaking around? Oh, you know, slicking in the shadows as I do. Stop slicking. I can't stop slicking.

Is the distance between, like, where... Because if Eddie is ripping off Frankenstein's stitches, that means Eddie's, like, right on Frankenstein. Right, exactly. Okay. I mean, I feel like I want to get an angle that's... How far away are they from me? You've had a little bit of time to move while Elgo's been talking to them. So we'll say you're 30 feet away at this point. Okay. Let's say...

35. Yeah, just to say 35. Okay, my movement is 30, and I have the dash ability. So I think I'm... But if I use dash, then I can't use my sneaky tack. What are you going to dash into? Into a hug. My dear Frankenstein. Again, this is not John. This is Mateed. But Mateed was like, okay, the plan was that the two of them were going to go out and start negotiations. And then...

Chip was going to hide and have a good angle if things go wrong. What thus far has happened is an improvised skip between Delga and Barney and Chip looking like he's about to dash into a battle with someone who killed him last time. Yes. And a dragon. And a dragon. Okay, I have the dash ability. So if I need to swoop in and say like an explosion happened.

I can like go and grab Frankenstein and I'd still have the sneak attack ability because it's a special and it's not a bonus So I'm gonna hang out and not try to blow it. All right, okay I think it this is this is down to you two. Well, is it like at this point? Are we planning to give the dragon? Yeah, yeah, like we got it like Eddie's a new angle, right? And we don't want to start a fight. No, so we're looking for a little ball. Oh

What about you guys? Yeah, are you guys looking for anything? I'm just waiting for one of you to go, and scene, and move. I search for something incredibly rare which has been lost. And what does it look like? It is a crystal that is of immense value to me. And what would you do for this crystal? All right, Skele-Gon's wary of that question. Yeah, these are just like ants to him. Why doesn't he just go, oh?

Because I'm trying to be nice to you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Gus is trying not to delete half the party in one swoop. Skillagon's going to make a quick wisdom check here again. 15. It would be worth quite a lot to me. Well, then. Well, what if we told you, Mr. Dragon, that we have what you are looking for? What? But we are only going to give it to you if you give us what we want.

If not your ball, then what is it that you want? Freedom for your, uh, gentle- Associate and- and to live! And what? To live. Oh, yes, freedom and life. I thought you said and a lift. And liberty! And a Frankenstein. But we want no trouble, either. Hmm, how do I know you're telling the truth, and that you have what I'm looking for? Well, we'll describe it exactly. Go on.

Describe it. I don't know. It is a crystal. Yes. And it was in his death.

It is in a holder that I forgot the name of. It's a ball. You motioning with your hand. I'm trying to burn. I'm just trying to. Yeah, so out from behind the cave, there's the Talon motioning claws. It's in the claws. And it's very shiny. Chip is hugged up against the wall, looking nervously back and forth between the bird and the girl. And I believe it is, what color is it? It's crystal colored.

I thought they smelled like color. You guys would remember this. Was it green or was it... Blueish? Can we do a knowledge check or something? Please, please. I think this is where it has to be the person. Give me a wisdom check, Elga. It's just everybody at home who just finished the last episode is just screaming a color in their car. You know, I don't even know what the crystal looks like. You rolled a three. Barney got an 18. Oh, there you go. Are you going to be in character or are you going to not be in character?

It's green. It was green. Green. It was green. It was green. It's green. It is green. A green crystal and a staff with the claws on it. I know nothing of the staff.

But the crystal... sounds right. Yeah, you may not have had him. The staff variation. That's a bonus, a perk. Well, it seems like someone had it in his staff and was using it to wield some sort of power. Mm-hmm. Eddie would start laughing and chime in seat. See? Exactly. Just as I explained. You stay out of this. Who are you to talk to me that way, old man?

I don't know who you are, and you don't know who I am. So we're on equal footing. You don't know who he is either. He motions at Skelligon. He's a big dragon. I'm talking to the nice dragon. Now you stay out of this. Okay. No, not you. This is what happens when you have us talk a lot to someone. No, this is good. I love it. Well...

Show it to me. Well, we can't let you see it. It has to be a game of trust. You can see that I have what you want. Why can I not see that you have what I want? Well, because you could kill us. You could kill me? How?

A little girl and an old man. Wait, please tell us how! Is that chip in hiding? Please, please go into detail. Where might your vital organs be? What's the must? Are you allergic to anything? What is your weakest spot? You can understand my hesitance to believe you. After the spawns nearly wiped out all dragons...

Well, that's fair. Well, okay.

Here's what we can do. Didn't that Skelegon come and, like, light the village on fire? He sure did, yeah. But we don't know that. Okay. We'll give you your pretty green crystal, and you let us live, and let our friend, your friend over there live. And kill Eddie. And kill Eddie, yes. Oh. Why don't you make a persuasion check, Barney?

Come on. I rolled a two. It's a six. Do you have inspiration? No, I don't. How about in return for the crystal, I give you your friend and your life? Or how about we do exactly what my friend just suggested, but now I suggest it? Oh. As Barbara immediately gets a persuasion check. Let's hear her out. For a 16.

I'll agree to all that. But Eddie lives. Why not? Well, you don't need him, do you? He's just, uh, you know, a little scum to you, right? Old man, did you not just say you did not wish to deal with him? Well, I'd like to deal with you. But you want him killed? Yes, I don't like him. He's quite rude. Why is he so important to you, a big strong dragon?

There you go, that's cool. Okay, then kill him. Oh, yeah! Yeah, the upper hand.

I wave over to Mateen, give thumbs up. This is going great. Why don't we do, you know, like one step at a time? Like first step, you let our friend Frankenstein go and give him to us. And then next step, we give you crystal. I must see the crystal before I release Frankenstein. Well, I can draw it for you. Very well. Proceed. One moment. Can I try and draw it? Yes. How are you trying to draw it? Yeah.

Do I have, like, anything to draw with? I don't know. I don't think so. Look at your inventory. I have an emerald pen. Okay. But it has something, if I use it, called illusionary script. I'll carve one out of wood. Everyone take a seat. What about, like, an alms box? Could that, in theory... Do you know what an alms box is? That's the thing where you put your sins in, right? Dad!

Is that what it is? Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back next week. You put money in there. You put alms in there. Alms for the poor. Oh, I thought it was like a sin box. Describe to me how you put your sins in a box. What's a sin box? What sin do you put in that box? Yeah, what are you putting into this thing? I thought it was like a confessional, but like on paper. So they can like have a paper trail of your sins? Well, yeah, you put them in the sin box. And then what happens next? I don't know. You're confessing them. And that's like part of the

I thought, you know, like, you know what I'm realizing? There's probably a few churches across the state of Texas that have some weird suggestions in their suggestion box. What is this? What? Is Mateed able to hear any of this? Yeah, Mateed can hear everything. Birds have excellent hearing. Thank you, Gus. Mateed, is there anything you want to do? Like, do you want to just come over and show...

I feel like staying out of sight is still good. Like, I think, like, getting... I think what you were saying, you were leading towards something that was good before we got stuck on drawing a crystal and putting our sins in boxes. I guess we'll just go. If you don't want your crystal, we'll just go. Eddie's the unknown here, and that's what I worry about. I just think we're in a situation where we just have to prove that we have the crystal. Okay, then I'm going to come around the corner. I come around the corner. Okay. And I'm holding the crystal staff in my hand. Is this what you're looking for?

Indeed.

So you two are of no use to me. Well, no, that's not the real crystal. No, we are a package deal. We have two of them. Spawn, they shut up. We are all a package deal. If you harm any of us, you get no crystal. Yes, little Spawn, that is what I'm looking for. Then I will happily provide it to you once you send our friend Frankenstein over to us and... I'm killed. Stop it.

and grant us safe passage out of your grotto. And kill Eddie. I'm good at, like, Matide is thinking about throwing the crystal staff at the heart of Barney. Just like a spear. He was the big bad all along. You know, once Matide comes around the corner with the rod and the crystal, Eddie definitely also really focuses on it as well. Honor their wishes. Free the captive. And Eddie releases the bonds holding Frankenstein.

Yes. Perhaps we, uh...

Maticius looks at Barney. Do not open yourself up to roles. We believe we actually procured it from an associate of Monsieur Eddie. Go on. His name was Weegor. Nasty little fella. Does that name ring any bells for you? It does. Eddie told me that he learned this information from someone named Weegor.

Then let's put the puzzles together. The man who told you that your crystal was stolen also is in association with one who stole it. That could be the case, but I have slept for many, many years.

It was Eddie who woke me to alert me to what was going on. I do not want to impugn upon your intelligence at all. You seem to be an aged and wise dragon. However, let's think about the possibility that Eddie woke you up to get his own deeds done via a strong dragon. Yes, using your anger and your...

bitterness towards the people who might have stole it to get things that he wants. It's too convenient to not sing, sis. Make a persuasion check. That's a really good argument. 18. Well, I'm convinced.

And this is when Mateed nods and pats Barney's head. Very interesting indeed. Skelegon's eyes narrow as if he's thinking it over and working on some machinations that you can't begin to try to imagine. Suddenly, Skelegon screeches in pain.

and a blinding flash of white light consumes the ground. Whoa! Oh my goodness. What did you do, Chip? You blink your eyes, but your vision is bleached with brightness. However, you hear the dragon groan and collapse to the ground with a loud thud. Now, now, now. Let Dr. Eddie take a look and see what's wrong with old Skelly here. Here's the problem. Looks like we have a case of a broken heart. Well, fear not, my friend. I'll take care of that lickety-splish.

Finally, your vision starts to return and you see Eddie holding a purple crystal heart in his hand. A wide, splintered smile of jagged teeth comes across his face. How about that? Skelly here was searching for a crystal heart, and I found one inside it. He was here all along! You look over and Skelligon's once-blazing bones now lie on the ground in a lifeless pile.

Looks like you have one too. I'll trade you Frankie over here for the crystal. No questions asked. I'm just starting to like this, Galagon. I do not think that's going to happen today, Monsieur Eddie. How about instead you give us the purple crystal? Eddie laughs maniacally, and the pile of dragon bones start to rattle and shake until all at once...

A spectral purple dragon emerges from the pile of the bones. Treacherous traitors. All of you. I should have expected nothing less than duplicious deception from such spineless spawns. Skeleton is no more. Now you shall feel the wrathful wrath of Dragos. Oli, you go ahead and roll the mission.

Felicitations, my foul-smelling friends. Check out the Stinky Dragon subreddit where you can submit your fan art, items, questions for the arrow question and more. Check it out at Stinky Dragon Podcast over on Reddit. Good news, fellow stinkers. We finally have official Stinky Dragon dice coming to the store. They go on sale first at RTX, so attendees will get first dibs, but they'll be available at the RT store soon after. So stay tuned here and on our socials. We'll have more details on when they'll be available online very soon.

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This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

So now we're fighting Eddie and a corporeal... Eddie who one-shot a dragon. A dragon. Four. I rolled a six. Oh, I have my double... My advantage thing, right? Advantage on initiative? Yeah. My vigilance...

Go for it. I don't know why you say it that way. And Mateed, you have a 10? I have a 10. A 17. All right. Barney, you are at the top of the initiative order. Then a couple of NPCs and then Mateed and then Elka. How many times do you think you're going to kill one of our characters in this campaign, Gus? Come on. We'll see. Today, we may double it today, huh? Oh, come on. Is Eddie a humanoid, by the way? Yeah.

Humanoid? The way you're describing, it's like he's got like, humanoid like has like, you know, the two arms, two legs, that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, humanoid, yeah. But he's not a human. Correct. White. Humanoid is like a class of creatures in D&D. And yes, Eddie is a humanoid. All right, Barney. Where is everyone in respect to me? Elga is right next to you. Chip is like probably a little north of you, a little further ahead between you and Eddie.

And Matide is a little behind you, just a few feet behind you, because they were around the corner and then they just came back into this room. All right, well, I want to do my Twilight Sanctuary, where a sphere sitting around me, 30-foot radius, filled with dim light, moves around with me, and if you end your turn in the sphere, I can grant that creature either 1d6 plus 2 temp HP or end Charmed or Frightened. Is this a concentration spell?

It's just a channel divinity. It's not a spell per se, just an ability. So then you guys get some bonus HP. I'm going to do that. Look at you buffing us. Good job. At the end of our turn, he gets to decide to give one of those things. And I do that.

and then i say mr dragon the one that you're mad with is not us it's that one over there he took your heart he's got it in his hand look right there now look right there lo what is he holding and what is your friend holding that that's what we told you we had we told we were bringing it back to you and we had told you all that the one you should be mad is the one who has their your heart in their hand make a persuasion check that is very that makes

I think the flash of light lets your position... Holy moly, that's a one. No spawn are to be trusted. Well, I agree. I agree, but just look at the facts. The facts are there are spawn in my lair, and they have two crystal hearts. All right, well, we'll just leave. Does Barney turn his back? Well, he kind of maybe shuffles back.

Is that the end of your turn? Yeah, I guess so. It is. You know, I think it was okay. I think it was a good turn for us. And then you, you tried to fight for, you know, it's good. All right. Bye-bye. All right. I'll stay here. I don't know. Bye-bye. I'll stay here. Bonnie crosses arms and says, I don't like this.

All right. Is that it for Barney? Oh, I also buff my HP at the end of it. Oh, okay. It's Eddie's turn. He sticks a couple fingers in his mouth and lets out a loud whistle, and a rope falls down from the cave skylight above. Dang it. I hate to leave when things are finally starting to get frightfully fun, but I've got a pyramid scheme to plan and carcass it.

Am I close enough to try to chop the rope? You could maybe use a range attack from where you are or try to close the distance on your turn. Okay. Big battle axe throw. But right now, it's the alchemist. Oh, nice. I forgot we had him on our side. What the heck has that guy been doing this whole time? He very quickly, he will be pretty close to you, Elga. And he says, what's the plan here? What should we do? You're asking me?

You've been taking point here. Yeah, that's true. Immediately plays her ego. All you gotta do is butter elk is toast. I am the leader of this party, so I say...

You know, I would just say it. As Elga glows in her adulation, fire streaks from Draghast and scorches her. I would say just, you know, kill the baddies. Which one? Probably Draghast if you had to pick something. Draghast? Okay.

Or Eddie, you know, he's getting away. We probably don't want him escaping with that crystal. Dealer's choice, really. So noncommittal. Got it. Here, take this. And Elga, he hands you a bottle of like a sparkling golden mist. What is this? Take a swig of that. It'll help you.

No hesitation. I'm going to stay close to Barney and Elga for now and hold. All he did was give me an elixir of some sort. Yeah. He gave you a Fanta. Fanta. Did I drink it now or do I have to wait for my turn? You have to wait for your turn. Okay. You got three 10-point points. Plus three. Got it. Mateed. And then after Mateed is Elga.

and then NPC and then chip. Eddie hasn't escaped yet, right? No, he's just started climbing the rope up. It's probably about 60 feet total that he has to climb. So it'll take him not a lot of time, but it will take him a little bit of time to climb up there. Imagine it being a helicopter because he was like, so long. That's exactly what's in my head. I'm not going to lie.

Later, losers. All right. Got to take a break. But only on his turn is he allowed to move. Yeah, right, right. In between, he's just... Just going to wait here. Man, I want to pursue Eddie, but...

I don't love the idea of double dashing forward and just being within like a boo-boo distance. He's true. I don't have... That's the thing is that I... What's my... I think my flight is like 50. That sounds right. But he has 60 to go. He's got 60 to go. I'd need to be within five feet for a melee attack. Because even if you went like 30 above, cut him off at the halfway point. He's also not at the base though. They don't only have to travel vertically. They also have to travel horizontally. But I can go straight line. Right.

And the straight line is... I'm just saying that it's not that simple. The straight line is 60 feet. I'm going to be calculating. Calculating. This is what you love, John. This is me. It is, because if it's less, I'm good. It's about 70 feet or so to get to where Eddie is. Yeah, I don't have anything I can throw. I'm not a ranged attack person. You have baked goods. Okay.

I have a very stale croissant. Could you cut through a rope? How stale? Yeah. It's been with me since the beginning of this campaign. You could not come out with it. Okay. Wait, what's this? What is step of the wind? Step of the wind is you can spend one key point to take a disengage or dash action as a bonus action. Hey-o! Then I'm going to do that. I have step of the wind. I'm going to use one of my key, and I get the dash action as a bonus action. Wow.

So it gives you additional movement equal to your speed for that turn. So I'm up on that rope, y'all. Yeah, so then if you're choosing to fly, which it sounds like, your flight is 50, so then you would be able to get an additional move, which means you'd be able to fly 100, which is greater than 70.

Matisse just starts doing laps. Yeah. Around the grotto. Could I go... Since Eddie is not at the top of the rope, I want to go top of the rope. So it was 70 to get to Eddie. It changes the angle a little bit because you're going up. But I'd have enough to go a little bit. Yeah, you'd have enough to get... Like, I'm just kidding. You would be able to get to the very top.

But you could get definitely above Eddie on the rope. I attack the rope. Ooh. And Jacques helps. I was just about to ask about Jacques. Is Jacques on your shoulder the whole time? Jacques is always on my shoulder. Probably going to attack it with your weapon, I assume. Make an attack. I don't have a weapon. I have talons. Strike with your talons. I'm going to use it. One of my key points.

Which is the first time I've gotten to do that, really, I think. Maybe not. Maybe I've done other stuff. Maybe I did Flurry of Blows. It's a monk thing. It's a monk thing. I don't do spells, but I can spend ki points to do little extra attacks. It's a monk thing. It's a monk thing. That's a 15 against the rope. What's the AC of rope? I don't know, but I'm going to say it's less than 15. We'll say you hit it. Nice. Okay. Then, yeah, roll some damage. I do. Max damage, seven. Rope has two hit points.

- Huh. - In D&D, I just learned that, so yeah. - Matit flies in and goes, "Bonjour," slices it and goes, "Au revoir." - That means hello and goodbye. - Yeah. - You hit the rope and you manage to successfully slice it. Eddie was not too high off the ground, so he falls back down to the ground with a thud. - And it looks dumb. - Does he at least hurt himself a little bit?

Let's say he was 10 feet off the ground and he's taking 10 feet of fall damage. Yeah, you ever just stumbled like from ground level? It hurts. Yeah. You ever fallen off a bunk bed before? Have you blamed? Oh, 100%. I fell off a bunk bed at a Legos once. Eddie only took four from that fall. He lands with a thud and we'll say he's prone on the ground now.

I like my turn. That was pretty good. Way to go. Are you still up there? Yeah, I'm staying up high. How far away are you from me? How high are you? I wonder if you get the temp. I'm more than 70 feet. Yeah, they would be beyond the 30 feet. Can Matin actually look up? Yeah. What do I see? No, birds can't look up. They're next. I knew that was going to come. Yeah, you look up and at the top of the opening in the cave, you see a handful of Eddie's henchmen up there. What do they look like?

There's various humanoids. Remember when you encountered Eddie previously, he had a couple of henchmen with him. Okay. Oh, they're fired. Was there anything else you were trying to discern from up there? Matide looks up. That's all my actions I can take because I did movement. I did a bonus action and I attacked the rope. You can poop. Oh, that too? No, I did not. Tactical poop. Ghosts don't poop. Elga, it's your turn. Then NPC and then Chip. Could I rage? Yes. I'll allow it.

Is drinking the elixir that the alchemist gave me a bonus action? Yes. Okay. Oh, is raging a bonus action? Yeah. It is, yeah. I'll tell you what. We'll say you just take it as a free action. We'll say the alchemist just put it right in your mouth. Yeah, he fed me like a baby bird. Like a baby, yeah. Yeah, and I drank the potion. You feel like warmth go down your throat, into your stomach, and then radiate outwards to all of your limbs. Elkino is holy water. Usually I don't feel this good if I'm drinking anything but...

Never mind. And you look down, you notice your skin turns a golden color. From a metagame perspective, you gain advantage on one ability check or attack roll in the next minute. So kind of like an inspiration die? Yeah. But instead of rolling again, you declare you have advantage on this roll and you roll two right off the bat. It's just mechanically done a little differently. Okay, cool. I would like to go over to Eddie and bite him. Ooh. Yeah, Eddie's on the ground lying prone. Yeah, I'm going to do my bite of sucking.

I could, I assume, get to him from where I am? Yeah, you should be able to. He's within your movement range. Your movement is 30. Yeah, there's like some of that pool of liquids between. Like it kind of cuts off the area from where you are, but there's like, you know, rocks you can quickly step across and get over there. Okay. Eddie, this one's for Skelegon. And I bite him. Okay. You're a one out. You have advantage on this roll anyway because Eddie is prone. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Well, I rolled a 20, but I'll do it again. 21. Okay. Yeah. You definitely hit. So roll damage. Six. But there's more to this one. Yeah. I'm reading it right now. The target takes piercing damage and must make a constitution saving throw. Oh, that's right. Yeah. All right. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. Constitution is plus one and the save is 14. Like the DC is 14. Yeah.

Low roll, low roll, low roll. 12 plus one, 13. Yeah! Just short. Then on a failure, it's an additional D4 of necrotic damage. So go ahead and roll some extra necrotic damage on there. That's another three points of damage. Nice! You guys are not being nice to Eddie. He's only brought a smile to everyone, and you all are just

So he is the Joker. Beating him up and bullying him. The Joker, I don't know what you're talking about. Elga, anything else? I don't know if I could do anything else. Could it field a drag on or a... Drag-gast. Drag-gast. Yeah, where's the drag-gast in relation to where we are now? Probably right up on you if you're right up on Eddie. Yeah, really close. Like just a few feet away from where you are. Like it was right behind it. Could I ready my greataxe? Sure.

Okay. Do you do more damage because you're raging? Oh, do I? I don't, well. Yeah. But I think you have to attack with a weapon for that. It's also like strength checks. Yeah, yeah. I knew Gum Gum always did. Yeah, it's plus two to melee damage with strength weapons. Oh, strength weapons. There you go. Have I ever told you your teeth are so strong?

Oh, thank you. That is the greatest compliment one could hope for. And now they're gold, so you got a cool grill. I've got a golden elder. So the other thing is, you also regain hit points equal to half the damage you dealt. Yeah. Okay, so that was, I did nine total, so I would get four. It's four, but it's rounded up, so five.

That's pretty cool. And it doesn't overflow to temp. So I'm just at max now. Topped off. But were you missing some HP? Nice. You get 7 temp HP. Thank you.

And as a reminder, temp HP, you don't get to stack more temp HP on. And I just want to check, too. I sucked Eddie's blood. There you go. But does anything, like, because he had green veins, right? Oh, yeah. So do I feel any different from doing, like, sucking his blood than I would? You're shredded, dude. You're huge now. It has a minty taste you're not used to.

Weird. I don't like this blood. Maybe it's the mintiness or something. It's like, ugh, it's throwing you off a little bit. Barbara, however, loves mint. All right, the NPC whose turn it is is Dragast. Which two players am I going to kill first? I think he sees the error of his ways and turns against Fetty.

He sees on the floor in front of him his purple heart. First of all, let's see if Chip is noticed. Of course not. No, it's a six. Who's Chip? I'm one with shadows. Slick and dark. You're like Gronk from A Bird's New Groove right now. Oh.

So right in front of Dragcast is Elga and Matisse flying up in the air. Yeah. All right. I'm going to take a... And Eddie is also down. Yep. Just saying. Eddie is down and on the ground. He's a spawn. You are correct. All right. And I think the Alchemist is also with us. You moved up. You moved up.

He's talking about who's directly in front of the drag cast. One and two is Eddie. Three and four is Elga. Five and six is Matisse. One and two. One and two. Number two. Number two. Four.

That's Elga. It's way up high. Yeah, but it's still within reach of Dragast. Dragasts can fly. All right, come at me, you spawn. What did you call me? Uh... From my angle, this is behind Barbara. He said that, and Barbara's head went, uh... It was like a dramatic soap opera. I just learned that word from you. It's so nice. That.

That's gonna be a bite then at Elga. You bite me? This is plus nine. I don't like it when the shoe is on the other foot. My AC is 14. Oh, curses. That's a miss. You can't bite the biter. In fury, Dragast lashes out with a claw attack as well at Elga. What, your teeth weren't strong enough? The trash talk. But you roll bad. I did, but that's a 17.

17 hit. Jesus! It's a plus, yeah. Yeah. He rolled an 8, but a plus. But that is a hit, yes. Yeah, so a claw strikes out at you doing 13 points of necrotic damage. Well, I'm raging. But it's necrotic. Necrotic, okay. So, would you fall? 13? Yeah, but it's still physical, right? Yeah, but the rage specifies bludgeoning, piercing, slashing. Like, it's a ghost now, so it's not necessarily... Exactly. This is why we got a barbarian, guys.

Pain sponge. I didn't like that. Yeah. I go for you. I went for Eddie. Oh, but you went after Draghast with your words. Yeah. And I'll do it again. Barbara can't stop. That's what I like about Elga. She doesn't learn. Neither does Barbara. She just has to talk back.

Oh, wait. I just realized I have resistance against a chronic damage. Oh, you do? So would that mean I would take less? You would take half. Half. Okay. So that would have been six. Six. So yeah, you would have. So I'd be full HP with one. Yeah. A normal human ability. Yeah. That's what it's like. Oh, yeah. This child is sturdy.

I'm just so strong. Chip, you're up. And then NPC. Chip was like mid-foot off the ground, about to step out of the shadows, and then he saw the 13 points of necrotic damage and then went right back into the shadows. Can I quickly assess the situation? Do I notice that there might be any sort of relationship between the Purple Heart and Dragogast's, like, forms?

Say I were to attack him. Do you think that I could glean whether or not that would affect him at all? Make an arcana check. There you go. Okay, here we go.

You should show me the magic. 14. You don't think that there's any connection. Okay. Give him back his heart. How far away is Dragast? You were sneaking along on the wall from where you are, we'll say, now 20 feet, maybe? Eddie has the heart. Say theoretically, because Eddie's down. Prone. Prone on the ground. Yes, sorry.

Just a down has like a connotation. I'm going to give you a walkthrough of what I'm thinking. Okay. So I walk out, attack Eddie, pick up the heart and try to give it to Dragass. Is that all allowed? Sure, let's try it. Can I do a disengage if it all doesn't pan out? It depends. I mean, if you still have the bonus action, yeah. Ah, what the heck. Okay. What the heck. All right. So I walk out, I say, all right, the jig is up. I've been here all along.

This has been so much fun watching you guys. Eddie, how are you doing, man? I'm going to stab Eddie with my arm blade while I walk up to him. Okay, make an attack roll. You have advantage because Eddie is prone. I'm surprised. Chip, what are you doing here? Whoa.

Yeah, that hits. Okay. Doing eight points of damage. Nice. Do I get any? Shoot. I came out talking like a blubbering moron when I could have done a sneak attack. Not a good road. Not a good road. I think also if you do a sneak attack, doesn't that use your bonus action? Yeah, but he's attacking. No, it's a special. Why didn't you do it?

I'm a talker because this is I told you not to be friendly and sneaky. Oh The callback I should have listened to the old man. Wow, what a what a callback

All right. So eight. But with the sneak attack, you can say yes or no. The sneak attack, is that a thing? It's an effect that's applied when you have advantage. You have advantage on your attack because he was prone. So therefore, you should be able to roll your sneak die. Technicality counts. However, I will put an asterisk. I believe that that is not the case for ranged attacks when an enemy is prone. Oh, I stabbed. But yeah, you were stabbing. So yeah. Okay. That's an additional six. Wow.

He's taking a fair amount. This guy just fell off a rope. It's on the ground. Edward's like... Yeah. How many holes are in him? And he's lying in an ever-growing pool of green blood on the ground. Rough stuff there, bud. Oh.

Sorry. You had it coming. Okay. I'm going to pick up. Can I take the purple heart? Drag-ass purple heart? Yeah, we're going to make an opposed strength check because Eddie's holding on to it. Okay. I'm sure he's... Dolan Valor! What?

That's such a layered joke. He couldn't even wait for a moment to like where that mattered. Just blurt it out. I'm happy. I'm good with that. That's great. Strength check. So many layers to that. I wish everybody could see how proud Chris looks right now. With a 17. I'm going to roll. I get a plus three on this. 14 plus three is a 17. That's a roll off. So who, what do we do? Do you roll again? Do you just go again? There we go.

So then in real life, then we're like struggling for it. Back and forth. Now Eddie, no win to lose. All right. Come on. Shucks. Is Elga still latched onto him in her bite? No, I think you just bite and then let go. Typically. Oh, that's a 15. Elga is like that fish that's like on the side of the fish bowl. Just sucking. Just stays attached. Yeah. I don't have any sort of advantage. Eddie rolled a 20 plus three. So 23. Oh.

Yeah, after holding on, going back and forth, Eddie does manage to get the best of it. Despite his weakened state laying on the ground, he is able to hold on. But Chip lets go at that opportune time that he stumbles back even further. He's on the ground, he can't stumble. Well, then he pulls the crystal and it hits him in the face. Yeah, doing. Yeah. Maybe if he didn't roll a 20.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. At 20, he pulled so hard. Wasn't even thinking about it. He pulled so hard, he pulled Chip down to the ground. And they kiss. So... So... So I say, okay. Or you can have the purple heart, but hey, drag ass...

That's your heart. Let's just end this fighting right now. You could take the dang thing. We'll help you beat this dude's butt. We can just call it a day. We can all go home nice and happy. What do you say? Same team. Yeah, same team. Make a persuasion check. That's a good persuasion. You said you were charismatic. Come on! 12. Shucks. I'd rather just kill you all and take both.

Fair point. You know, I understand the need for that, yes. That's- Hey, you know, I get it, but I think you should reconsider. I'm gonna go hide. Please close your eyes and count to ten.

Is that it for you, Chip? I want to go hide. What mechanic? I have disengage or hide. Is it a bonus action? It's a cutting action. Yeah, disengage would just allow you to leave an area without provoking an attack of opportunity. Hide, you can just roll a stealth check and try to hide. What do you recommend?

I'm not a sommelier. I'll roll a stealth check. How are the stealth checks this time of year? Quite tasty. This stealth is from the Mediterranean. It's a blend. Pairs well with fish. I love the mouthfeel of this. Okay.

Okay, I guess I'll roll a stealth and see how this goes then. 17. You very sneakily try to withdraw. Yeah, sneak back. Where'd he go? Yeah, any visual representation of this other than just him just like Homer Simpson into the bushes. That's exactly what I was thinking. I'm thinking about also the Simpsons where it's like, I forgot something in my car. Yeah. Okay.

All right. Chip, that was it for your turn, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. It's Frankenstein's turn. Oh, I'm buffy. Chip moved away. That far? Yeah, because Chip is up by... Oh, Barney is not engaged into the fight yet. Right. I appreciate the sentiment, Barney. Man, you're buff. You've only got to use it half the time because our team is just like... Everyone keeps moving. Yeah! Just went straight forward. Okay. Frank...

And Stein will also try to subdue Eddie as well. With a shout, Frankenstein jumps up, says, "Eddie, bad man!" And tries to smash him with his fists, hitting AC 19, which is a hit. Yeah!

- Doing... - Just finish him off, just kill him. - Four points of damage, which is not enough to finish Eddie off. - That's very low. - But Frankenstein sidles up with Elga and says, "We protect little girl." - Aww. - Or, "Little girl protect you."

Nope. Okay, you keep thinking that. Barney, you're up. And then after Barney is Eddie. How is Eddie looking? Not great. Can I go forward? And then I guess I'm going to cast Guiding Bolt on Mr. Eddie. The flash of light streaks towards Eddie. You have to make a ranged spell attack. It's a 22. That hits.

Oh, that does a lot of damage. Yeah. That's 4d6 radiant damage. And he's necrotic. Yeah, so that's 12. Your guiding bolt streaks straight towards Eddie, hitting him, and he falls unconscious, the crystal falling out of his hand. I'll then go and pick it up. Yeah, you expend your move to get up there, and you pick up the crystal. I pick it up. Now, where am I now in relation to the dragon? You're really close, within 5, 10 feet.

Well, here you go, Mr. Dragon. Now, can we go? So you're handing over the purple crystal. Should I? Yeah, I think so. You see a thumbs up, a purple thumbs up. There you go. And I kind of like, can I just put it? Here you go.

And give it to him? I don't know if I put it in him or what. Put it back in him. I know where it goes. I've seen the diagram. I have the diagram. It's in my inventory. He's not wrong. Yeah, yeah. And the other. You hear a loud whistle above, and the key drops the crystal down towards Draggex. Oh, look at you guys. I also pull on the rope and pull those idiots down. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

They're gonna be in here with us then. Go ahead and give me a medicine check, Barney. I'll tell you what, since you did have the chart, roll it with advantage. I just realized that green crystal might be for another dragon. It could be his love. We don't know. 16? 16. That's pretty good. He says, Thank you. I can finally rest in peace.

I wish I could say the same. Oh, God. The rocky ground begins to quake and rumble violently while crags and crystals fall from the ceiling and you just hear a rumbling echo throughout the chamber. Find out what happens in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I did not see that coming. Yeah, you had all of us waiting to see what was going to happen. I know, I thought it was going to be like a Beauty and the Beast moment where he puts the crystal and it's like, oh, the Beast.

I am now the savior of lands. We talked last week about upcoming merch. I feel confident I have to tell you kind of what it is just so you guys know it's coming down the line soon. We finally have Stinky Dragon D&D dice. Woo!

It's going to be an RTX first, right? Yeah, we've been working on these for quite a while because we wanted to make sure we finally came out with them in the way we wanted. They look gorgeous. They're this great green and gold mix. Guaranteed D20 rolls every time. Even with a D4. Or Sean will...

hug you. If you can't go to RTX, if you can't get the die, we also have our TikTok series. Yes. The dice will be available first RTX, and then we'll be available on our RT store at the beginning of August. Nice. And on top of that, we've got even more bonus content for you guys. We've heard you guys' desire to get some more of BTS behind the scenes info from the Infinite campaign, our first campaign. And so we have a brand new series on TikTok under their series tab.

it's a whole BTS that where we go through our characters, character creation, Gus gives some DM tips. You can go there right now. I think it's a, it's, it's like a one-time fee of like $2. Yeah. Yeah. And it supports our show. It supports our show. It's, uh, we get to work with Tik TOK.

on it and so it's a really cool opportunity and we really hope you check it out because one I think it turned out great they're so fun I found out like a lot about y'all's characters from it did not appreciate what you made me do at the end of mine to be more like mud and I will not say anything more you have to buy the thing to find out what it is but yeah check it out it's on tiktok yep

Stinky Dragon Pod. We also have other merch. Check that out. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger with additional editing work by David Saunier. Also want to give a special thanks to some friends who provided VO for characters in this episode like The Alchemist, voiced by BlizzBear, at BlizzBear, Frankenstein, voiced by Ben Ernst, at Halcyon underscore Ben, Skelegon, voiced by Quentin Smith, at Quix underscore 18, and Eddie, voiced by Andrew Rosas, at Mr. Andrew Rosas. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.