C02 - Ep. 09 - Menace of Maschatten - Tug-O-Worg
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This is a Rooster Teeth production. Best wishes to all you Braxats. Stomp on into the stinky dragon, swallow our latest swill. Trop I cannot refuse roast. It's a mixture of corrosive coffee, magic missile milk fat, psionic syrup, a drum of rum, grape juice,

club soda shaken with compulsively cracked ice. One gulp of this gigantic guzzler is enough to send you around the horn. Previously, our adventurers wandered into the towering wind mule in search of a crystal. Inside, they encountered a chasm of clasping hands, wily traps and wargs, suspicious suits of arms, Uyghur with a three-headed warg, and a crystal contraption.

Bring over a bold brew and buckle up for this bedtime tale. ♪

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. My name is Gustavo Sorolla. I'm your dungeon master. I'm joined by our intrepid crew, as always. Crew, sound off. Hello, I'm Barbara Dunkelman. I play Elga Von Brath, the female half-elf vampire barbarian. What's up? Chip Haney's shounding off here. Shounding. This is Blaine Gibson. I'm a rogue tiefling. And I'm Chris Damaris. I play Barney Farney, the human cleric who's...

A senior citizen. And I'm John Reisinger and I play Matty Confucius who is an air crockering ghost monk.

Well, before we get started, I want to hit you guys with an arrow, a little role-playing warm-up question. Learn a little bit about your characters and what's going on. I've got a list of questions compiled from social media and some by our writer, Micah Reisinger. Hello, Micah. He's sitting right here, too. Oh, God! I rolled a 21 here on our list of questions. This question comes from Cancer Syndrome on Discord, asking, What is the most recent nightmare your character has had? Oh!

Oh. Why don't we go in reverse order for this one? I will happily go first because I have an easy answer for Matide. Matide doesn't sleep. So Matide no longer dreams or has nightmares. So that's either beautiful or terrible. So when Matide takes long rests, what's the mechanic of that?

It's like written into my character actually where I don't need to sleep. And so I assume it's something akin to like an elf trance kind of thing. Warforged also do that where they just stare like they're just in low power mode. I think that that's the coolest thing ever.

So you're just watching us sleep then? Or going off and doing other things. Ooh, a second mystery adventure. Well, luckily, cats like Jacques have very irregular sleeping habits, so you don't have to worry about that typical cat trope of it, like waking you up all hours of the night or batting your face. I feel like it'd be so adorable if Jacques uses Matide's headscarf to kind of like just nuzzle back in there in the hooded part of it. Also, it works too because cats make biscuits and Matide is a baker. Oh!

That's so good. Reverse order. He had a nightmare. I feel like Barney's like, I am the nightmare. I am the knight. He had a nightmare recently that everyone was taking a break and then while he was sleeping, he was awoken and the evil dead and the monsters were taking all y'all away. Aww.

It's like his friends. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Beautiful moment. Yeah. Chips is easy. You know, he wakes up or no, he's he's he's sleeping. He's like he's like chasing. He's chasing Carol. He's chasing his wife and she keeps running away. And he's like, Carol, come back, honey. Oh, God, I don't know where that voice came from. It has been his dream. He has a terrible southern accent. Yeah.

And she's just running away and he's just running away and he can't figure out why. Get off this treadmill! Oh, shoot! That's why it's really annoying to be near Chip when he's sleeping because his legs kick like a dog all the time. Yeah, and I go, oh, he's dreaming. Oh, he's dreaming. Do you think he's dreaming about us?

Elga had a very scary nightmare the other day. Daymare. Daymare, exactly. The nightmare, daymare, was her surfboarding on holy water on the crucifix while she was being force-fed garlic. That's a spicy surfboard. Oh, it was very scary. Wow, that's horrifying. I don't know who was force-feeding me as I was surfboarding on the holy water, but it was like a hand came down. It was the Pope.

I don't like directly asking the community for anything, but I would love to see community fan art.

And she looks super radical, but she's also having a terrible time like crying You could draw that cartoonish see or like because of like the symbology you go very Renaissance It'd be like fine art painting. Maybe you're like shredding some like wicked garlic fish. Oh, yeah, they were like spewing up garlic garlic fish the garlic fish Yeah, yeah

Smells great. You could live in Griffith. In that ocean. You never know. But I also realized that I don't, like, we've been out during the day walking about and, like, taking our rests at night, right? But Elga, I feel, wouldn't she be, like, be in pain with the sunlight and want to sleep during the day? It could be one of those things where, because, like, the lore of vampires is often, like, mixed with there's certain things that are wrong, that people got wrong about it. Mm.

You know? She's a day vampire. The worst example I can think of is like Twilight where it's like they're just sparkly in the daytime. They're fine. Elga, you're glowing! Yeah. I'm just very sweaty. We have to balance like

vampire tropes with something that doesn't make the character not fun and unplayable for D&D. It's like you guys are all out adventuring, I'm sleeping and then I'll go do my bit at night. It's why Elga has a big hood. Exactly. I was going to say the three of the other party members could probably like, you know, give you a piggyback ride. Well, sun protection is very important as well. It is. Yeah.

Elga wants to look young. We just haven't seen the moments where Elga applies SPF 200 suntan lotion at all times. Every three hours. It just looks like mayonnaise. You take to the air and light yourself down at the top of the staircase. Lovely. Everyone else,

climbs the stairs and notices there seem to be more steps than the previous floors. The higher you climb, the more you think you hear a low rumbling in the walls. But before long, you spot some light peeking into the stairway and finally reach the next floor.

Yet again, you enter another circular room, but the ceilings are raised much higher, at least 30 feet in a dome shape. A pair of small volts bulbs dimly light the center of the room, where the wooden floor gives way to a giant iron circle. At the far southern end of the room, the dim light gleams off a silver apparatus, a pylon-shaped rod with a clawed foot at the base and a glowing green crystal on its head.

Standing next to it, you see the silhouette of a hunchback covered in scars and stitches. You don't belong here. I can see it in your eyes. Your stunted brains can seem to stitch together the pieces of the puzzle. But don't worry. I know someone that can explain the situation. Uyghur pulls two levers on the silver apparatus. Chomp.

The stairway behind you seals off and the metallic floor in the center of the room lowers into the ground, revealing a deep shaft. A low rumbling echoes from below and suddenly a massive head of matted gray fur, snarling yellow teeth, and gleaming eyes emerges from the center of the room. It's quickly followed by a second head and a third.

The metallic floor raises back up, revealing a giant warg body connected to all three heads. Castle Bree here makes everything so much simpler. Wegor reaches for another lever and... And green sparks discharge from the crystal and silver apparatus comes to life. Storm clouds begin to form overhead in the dome's ceiling, crackling and flashing with light. Castle Bree, try to leave at least a few appendages for me to play with, will you? Yes, master. Good warg. Now, fire!

Fetch. Everyone roll initiative. Oh, gosh. And that was Weegor, right? Yes. Yeah. 16. 17. 20. I rolled a 21. Ooh. Wow. Shucks. Elga, you're up first. What's your plan? What are you going to do here? You're a barbarian. I'm going to rage. Yay. And then...

What's the layout of the room right now? Like, where are we in relation to the... Big dome circle, guy in the middle. Where are we? Yeah, south, north. Yeah, with the Kazelbri and Wegor. Yeah, you all came up the stairway, which is kind of in the northeast quadrant of this circular room. Okay. Then in the center is this platform that raised Kazelbri up. Then at the far southern end of the room is where Wegor is with the clawed foot pilot. Okay. Okay.

So how many feet is the, from us to Uyghur, let's say? Let's say about between 80 and 90 feet. Okay, so pretty far. Big room. And then Qazalbury is how far?

To middle? Yeah, kind of halfway between that. And the crystal lover thing? That's over by Weegor. Okay. Well, I want to move closer to Kazelbrie. Yeah, you do. And then would I have to double move to be able to attack? No, you can get there. So moving to the center of the room, it's probably only about 25 or 30 feet to get to Kazelbrie. I would like to attack with my greataxe. Elga rages, charges into battle, and...

and closes the distance with Kazelbri and attacks. - Is this the first time we're seeing Ilga rage? - No. - No, I raged once before when it was very unnecessary. - Okay. - And then didn't rage when it was very necessary and almost died. - All right, you close that distance and Kazelbri's rather large, a three-headed warg staring at you intensely. - So when you say three heads, are they all connected to the same neck? - It's like a body with three necks and three heads. Like, you know, like drawings of Cerberus? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Kind of like that.

So I can't just go for the one neck and get all three heads off? Correct. Okay. The exhaust port design flaw. Could I try to go for one of the heads? Yeah, I mean, you don't have to call any specific shot. Don't do a called shot. But yeah, you can just attack. He'll make you have to roll a disadvantage for called shots. Will we do called shots this season? Oh, I don't know if we've done that before. Blaine has tried to with Kygor. Kygor. Kygor? Excuse me? New character. Guys, I gotta go take a walk for a second.

Weegor and Kyborg got put together in my head. How dare you? They're so different. Weeborg. Next character. Yeah, and it did not go well. Normally, yeah, call shots. We should try to avoid that. But yeah, if you just want to make an attack, we can go with that. I would like to attack. Yeah.

Yeah. Greataxe. That's an 18. Good hit. 18 hits. Excellent. Doing 12 points of damage. Is that with your rage bonus? I guess plus two to melee damage, so that would be a 14. Yes. There it is. Big hit. Teamwork. Yeah. Ooh, 14 points of damage. Yeah. Kazelbri howls in pain as the Greataxe connects solidly, doing a significant amount of damage. Nice. Yeah, that's right, little doggie. You're Elga's...

I was waiting for it. Is there anything else you can do, Elgor? Because you had a move, you had an attack. Is there anything you want to do? Oh, you want to use your bonus action. Well, my bonus action was the rage. Yeah. So I guess there's not much else you can do. I think that's it. Yeah. Mateed, you're up. Chip, you're after Mateed. And then Uyghur, then Bard. Okay. You know what? Mateed's going to join. Love seeing the fury that is in the eyes of their little vampire friend. And...

wants to join in the fray and heads into the center as well to give Kazelbrit a couple of targets and does a Talon Strike. Actually, specifically does Flurry of Blows. I'm gonna use one of my key points and use Flurry of Blows, which basically means I get to do three unarmed strikes. What? Whoa, that's crazy. Mati goes...

It's like, uh, it's like E Honda is like him doing his little move. Actually be more like Chun Li because Mateed likes to use their, their talent. Gotcha. Well then in that case, cause he's going to be holding back on the joystick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got to use that block move. All right. I'm going to roll that. That's a 20. That hits. Doing six points. That one's only an 11. That does not connect.

And then this one is another 20. That hits. Doing only four points of damage. So not quite 14, but I tried. It's still something. Yeah. Look at you guys. Maybe that'll be the straw that breaks the puppy's neck. There it is. Got really sad there at the end. It is not. It's a good amount of damage. Both of you have done a significant amount of damage to Kazelbury. Your flurry of blows faster than the eye can see lash out at Kazelbury, striking twice, doing 10 points of damage.

I want to position it where like, uh, Mateed is actually behind Elga, but because of Elga's size and Mateed's length, Mateed's able to just kick around Elga and still hit, uh, the dog. So you're trying to give Kazelbury multiple targets by hiding behind Elga? Yeah, but like letting the barbarian do barbarian things by being there front and center. I was like, I don't, I don't want like, I'm backing up Elga. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's how we do. Elga's the star. All right. You moved. You attacked. Is there anything else you want to do there, Matit? No, nothing. Jacques hisses. This is Jacques' ultimate boss. Oh. Because it's a three-headed giant dog. Take the shot, Jacques. Yeah. Chip, you're up. Then Uyghur, then Barney, and then Gazelda. Warg! Hoo! Ha! Ha!

What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again! How long were you sitting there waiting to say this? Warg! Ha! You look like someone who, like a dog at a Greyhound match that's just waiting.

You know he thought about it after the last... My veins were popping on my neck. He was ready. He was ready to go. He's like, no, actually, not like a Greyhound. It's like the Border Collies at the agility training. They're like, they're just hyped to like level 11, you know? It's like the meme of that kid sitting at the desk with all of his veins bulging, like waiting to shout. Okay, real quick question because I haven't used this before. With Disengage...

Do I have to have remaining speed left in order to use that? Yes. Okay. How far away am I from puppy?

You are about, what did I say before, 25, 30 feet? I can give you an exact number. Hold on. If it's 25, 30, then don't bother. I'm just going to use a different thing. Yeah, it's about 30 feet. Okay. I'm learning very quickly that I'm squeaky. So I don't want to... You are not meant to jump in the fray. Yeah, I don't want to get too close. Well, like be the main target. I think I'm going to skirt the outside and then maybe start like taking the...

circumference the perimeter of the room to start heading towards Wegor, but on my way, I want to take a shot at... What's the name?

Kazelbrie. Kazelbrie. You're going to go south then? So if it's in the middle, I'm going to skirt the edge of the thing heading towards Weegor, but I'm going to take a shot all the way. Does that make sense? Yeah. So you're going to head south. That's what I was saying. I was saying south, and then when you were pointing to Gus, you were like, you went up. You're like, I'm going to go up this way. I just want to make sure he's clear that I'm not heading straight towards the dog. You're going south in a circle, and we're going to take a shot of Kazelbrie. All right.

And I'm using what? My crossbow. Oh, that's right. Thing. Did you fix it? Yeah, of course.

Was it broken? When was your short rest? He rolled like a one and broke it or something. I think it was before you got here. No, I don't think it was. So you're saying it's broken still? I will say as you've been walking along, you've had time to work on it and restrain it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. All right, anyways. I'm just trying to impress people with my memory. That's good. Even I forgot. I shoot gazelle debris with crossbow. The point of the one is to remove the crossbow from that

Bit of combat. So what was this word between combat? It's fine. It's an 11. It was an 11? No. You're focusing too much on the sneaking and not enough on the shooting, and the crossbow bolt goes wide, missing Kazelri by a good amount. Shoot! All right. I don't have...

It's okay. You can do the move. So then, yep, I'm just moving towards Uyghur. Okay. Yeah, you make some good progress heading to the south and, you know, moving 30 feet, you end up, you know, close to a window and some scattered books and you can see Uyghur looking at you with slight panic in his eyes.

I'm coming for you. I'm gonna get you. I have Cunning Action, so I could use Dash as my bonus thing, and then I could double it, right? Is it a bonus action? Yeah, that would be a bonus action. So how far does that put me then? You would be pretty close to him at that point. Would he be within attack range of 24?

- Likely. - I'm gonna dash as far as I can to him, but still a safe enough distance that he's not going to just stab, stab, stab. - It's gonna be like five feet. - You don't think you would be within traditional melee range? I can say that. - Okay. - Yeah, sure, I'll do that. - Traditional. - Well, 'cause you know, there's some melee weapons that have like a 10 foot reach. - Also my movement is all, it's a combination of like skirting the edge of a wall, like I'm on a high rise building, like trying to keep my balance.

very sneaky or I have my hands up like a T-Rex and I'm like, sneak, sneak, sneak. I like the idea that we hear your sneakers as you're doing this and they're like, yeah. It's like a basketball court. Every place is a basketball court. We're all silent and we just hear, I'm waiting for Gus to have Uyghur like pull out a gun. Just because like traditional distance.

What's Weegor gonna do? Oh yeah, so it's Weegor's turn. Chip is closing the distance. Weegor turns a strange eye towards you, Chip, and you feel like magic coming over you. Make me a wisdom saving throw. Okay. Minus one to wisdom. But that's okay because it's a 17. For a second, you felt like Weegor was your best friend and you just wanted to hang out with him, but you shake it off. You managed to... Is Weegor trying to be a little charming boy? Maybe. Be a little charmer? Charming.

Sensing that it fails, Wegor hisses at you. Okay. What do you do? I hiss back. I go... You're a tiefling. You should be able to hiss pretty well. There it is. There it is. He pulls something out of his bag and throws it at you. Pakistan! Do I do any checks? Make a dexterity saving throw to dodge out of the way. Quachow! It looks like it's a bad...

It's a 13. Oh, you lucked out. Yeah, he throws a bag at you. It lands where you were standing just a second ago and explodes with lightning shooting out of it. Cool. It's not very effective. It does. Can he get, what, half damage? Yeah. Oh, shucks. Six points of damage, but you saved, so you take three. Oh, God.

Three points of lightning damage. Lightning damage. Yeah. All right. Weegor doesn't move. He does those actions, and that's the end of his turn. Barney. It's the end of his life. I'm going to kill him. Barney, it's your turn. Then after Barney is Kazelbury. Wait for me. And Barney runs around, I guess, the other direction from where Chip went. Yeah. Okay. Towards Egor or Begor. Weegor. Weegor. He would make his way through the alphabet and get there eventually. Yeah.

And then when he gets close enough... Are you trying to attack Uyghur? Yeah. Okay. So he can... Oh, okay. Like a ranged attack. Yeah, yeah. But you're going the opposite way that ship went. Closing in. Pinsir. Gotcha. I like that. For a Pinsir motion, it's the man who has a walker going the long way. Just trying to make up double time. We're all just frozen and waiting for Barney to get there. Just...

You just hear the clunk, clunk, clunk. It's like that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where they're looking at the people coming to attack in the distance. It just takes forever. It just cuts back and forth. Your walker's probably really loud, too, because it's just all metal. And then he's like slowly... He's pulling out his crossbow.

Then he shoots it. You really did sound like a Monty Python animated sketch right there. That's great. So, okay, before I acknowledge your attack roll, I do just want to point out, since you went the long way, you're basically shooting across the entire room. It's not an uh-oh. I'm just letting you know. It's like...

I thought it was a circle. Right. Correct. But you went the long way. Like, the way that Chip went was much closer. We came in at the northeast. He was in the south. He goes right in the middle south. So you went long ways. So you're still shooting across the majority of the area. Okay. I guess he wasn't directly across. As close as I can get to the center of the room without being in attack range of the war. Yeah.

What? So, like, instead of going a full, like, circle, I'm, like, kind of cutting across the circle as close as I can without getting within attack range of the war. I'm not saying you're out of, like, crossbow range or anything. I'm just, like, trying to make sure you understand the implication of moving that way. Okay, yeah, so

So you begin your pincer move around the circular room. You take aim with your crossbow and shoot. What's your roll, Chris? 21. 21. And you're hitting... I'm sorry, you said you were targeting Uyghur? Uyghur. Oh, okay. That hits. Ha! Doing...

Seven points of damage. Nice. That's a good roll for a crossbow bolt. He's facing Chip, so that hits him in the back. Oh, right in the keister. That's got it. That smarts. That teach you. And that's his turn. Okay. That means it is Kazelbry's turn. Then after Kazelbry, we'll go back to the top of the initiative order. So Kazelbry has Elga and Chip in front of them right now. Incorrect. Elga and Machete. I'm sorry. I don't know.

Yeah. All three of Kazelbury's heads in unison look up towards the ceiling and howl together. It makes a horrible sound. Are they like harmonizing? Yes. Horrible, but beautiful. Oh, it's like that shirt. Oh, the three wolves. All of you need to make wisdom saving throws. That's the second time we've made that reference to that shirt in this show. I know. 21 for Elga. It's a two minus one, one. I rolled a one. What's that? That's a seven.

Oh wow, you have a plus stat! Good lord! Uh, cleric. Uh, 22. Okay. I'll- I'll inspire myself! Enroll a... Two. Some of that rubs off on Chip! Right? God?

No. Aw, man. I rolled a three. So it's a nine. It's a nine. It's a little better. Yeah, it's still not good enough. At least it's not a critical fail. That's something. Yeah, it's not a... Yeah. The horrible sound of the howl pierces the very soul of Chip and Barney. You don't know what you're doing here, and you're frightened of what's going on. Both of you are affected by the frightened status. Okay. What is it? Something we do... You can put up in conditions. Yeah, in conditions, you can toggle frightened. Okay. Okay.

And it'll tell you, if you click on it, it'll tell you what your effects are. You have disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls while the source of its fear is within line of sight and the creature can't willingly move closer to the sound of its fear. Both of you actually were already going towards Uyghur, so it won't affect your approaching Uyghur, but you cannot close the distance to Kazelbrin. Also, it's line of sight, not when you can see it.

What does that mean? It's in your line of sight right now. No, no, no. Because I have my hand covering my face. I'm avoiding it. I'm ignoring the... If you can't see it, it can't see you. Exactly, Barbara. Chip just unbuckles his fanny pack and then puts it around his head like a fanny pack on bandana. I'm in the zone. He used that for a sleep mask on a plane. Yeah.

You can make new saving throws at the end of your turn. Okay. To try to shake it off. To be not frightened. Yeah, shrug off the effect. So that was one thing Kazelbri does. C is for chips, C is for courage. Those are the people who are not close to it. So now it's going to try to figure out what to do with Elga and Mateed. It's going to try to bite Elga. I should say the head on the left growls at Elga and lashes out with a bite. That's the turn of the tables. Elga's getting bit. Let's see how it feels. Okay.

If it hits. It hits AC 15. Dang. Yeah, that hits. I like the drop of Elga voice. It does. 10 points of piercing damage. Since you're raging, you take half. You take five.

- Five points. - Yes! So excited for you. - The teeth latch on. And like, you know how dogs do with toys where they like shake their head and like as they grow up? It starts doing that with you. You better make a strength saving throw. - Oh, you got this. - 24. - Oh my, wow!

Yeah, it tries to shake you and throw you prone, but Elga's sturdy, low center of gravity. I'm very bulky. I'm imagining Elga waving her arm and shaking the dog around now. Yeah, exactly. While the head on the left is distracted with its new Elga chew toy, the head on the right looks at Mateed.

and one of its paws lashes out with a claw attack, trying to hit Mateed. - He's got lots of moves. - This is third. - Yeah, I guess you're right. - Hits AC 24. - That definitely hits. And then some. - Does. - Stop. - You can see it. It's 18 points of slashing damage.

Do you take all that? I take enough to be incapacitated. Wait, wait, wait. How much was the attack in your AC? The AC was like 20 something. What was the AC of what they hit? It hit AC 24. 24. Matide is incapacitated. Your hide behind Elga strategy seemed to have not worked as great as you thought it would.

I think that when we switched to campaigns, that we switched our character strengths, but they did not switch the enemy strengths. Like we started at level one, but the enemy started at level 18. We've wandered into a part of the game where the game's trying to encourage you you're not supposed to be here yet. You're supposed to do a bunch of random encounters and level up. You went to the wrong Mega Man boss. You're supposed to go fight Cutman. We should have grinded. We need to grind more. It's okay.

Mateed has advantage on death saving rolls. There you go. Is that because you're a ghost? Because I'm already dead. I was going to say, could a ghost die again? Yeah. I become nothingness. No!

You actually pass on to the afterlife? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Maybe that's what you want. I don't know. Mateed likes their life. Okay. Even their undead life. Okay, that was Kazelbrie. Lucky for you, that's all Kazelbrie has. It's Elga's turn, but Weegor begins laughing maniacally at the sight of Mateed falling to the ground. God.

Uyghur begins messing with the pylon down at the southern end of the room that he's standing by. What does that mean? Is that the thing that's holding the crystal? Yeah. Okay. And you all feel like the hairs on your body start to stand on end. A storm cloud appears at the top of the dome and lightning starts hitting the ground all around you. The three of you that are able, please make dexterity saving throws. Good. 16. Three. Five.

Hi. I got rolls, my dude. Y'all are making this too easy for me. I hate how much the tables have turned. Chip. We were beating his butt in the last campaign. Now he's so high and mighty. What? It really was the rolls. Lay it on me. It was the rolls. If you recall, Gus had quite a string of just bad rolls. He was. Yeah. Chip, you're the only one who successfully saved. Okay. Three doesn't save. Three does not save.

So you all take some lightning damage. I think your damage reduction as a barbarian only applies to like physical damage. I'm going to double check that. Piercing and bludgeoning, slashing, piercing. I mean, I would argue that lightning is bludgeoning.

Please. I got punched by a bolt of lightning. Yeah. Why would you argue that? It's force. Of nature. Exactly. Okay. Six points. Barbara, Chris is helping you. Yeah. Elka, it is now your turn. Then after you is Matit. Is this thing still biting me? No. It let go. Your strength thing was able to get you out of the grapple. Correct. Bad dog. Bad dog. I'm going to hit you again with my greataxe. Thank you.

Thank you. I'm going to slash at him again.

That is a 21. 21, that hits. Nice. That's right. And it does 8 plus 2, so 10 points of damage. Yeah, another solid hit with plenty of damage. You're paying back the pain to Kazelbri. But Kazelbri still stands. Really? How's Kazelbri looking? He's seeing better days. And then I'm going to just, like, move back a little bit. You would be open for opportunity attack? Yeah, that will provoke. Even though it's my turn? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, I'll just stay where I am then. Give like a disengage or something. Yeah. Stand your ground. Anything else you can do, Elga? No, I don't think so. Okay. Mateed, then Chip. Mateed, roll that beautiful bean footage. I'm going to roll two d20s. That's glad I have that. I rolled an 18 and a 2. I'm going to take the 18 as a success. It's wise. It's a good call. You know, from your perspective, you know, you're not conscious, right? You know, it's all black. But you start to see like a watery, hazy vision. And you hear voices. I don't know. Okay.

I don't think he's ready. None of them are. Chip, your turn. Okay, well, not a fan of how this dog is wiping my team, so I'm going to have... You're terrified of it. Yeah, well, no. I have my hand up, so I'm just kidding.

I'm gonna take a slash at Weegor with the old alarm blade. So you're gonna get the melee range. Yeah, you close the distance to Weegor. Yeah. And lash out. Yeah. That's a 22. Because you're frightened, aren't you attacking a disadvantage currently? Frightened creature is disadvantaged on ability checks and attack rolls with the source of its fear is within the line of sight. Yep.

Okay. Oh, sorry, Gus. That's 24. Well, it's a 22 because we take the lower one. Sure. Yeah, so your attack connects with Weegor. Hey, hey.

Eight! I think it's an eight. Yeah, eight. You, you, uh, deploy your arm blade and stab. You make a Uyghur skewer doing eight points of damage. Cool. And then while I'm there, I have a potion of healing. And if memory serves, you said that you could take a turn and we could get the full effects of the potion healing.

Or we could take a bonus action or something. And roll it? And roll it. A little homebrew. Yeah. So we're doing a little homebrew rolls. I'm going to do that. Oh, shit.

Five plus two, that's seven. I heal for seven points. You're upset with that? That's really good. That's probably decent for your max HP. Yeah, it's okay. Also, it's 2d4, and the most you could have rolled was eight. You got a five. You got a four and a one. True. You're such a pessimist. I'd be happy with that roll. Yeah, I just had a terrible nightmare. I had a bad night of sleep with my wife running away from me and everything. He saw the health potion as half full. Yeah, half empty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

While I'm there, can I talk to Wegor? Yeah, what do you want to say? Hey, call off your dog, all right? It's not fun. You're being weird, all right? Let's, like, chill out, yeah? He's being weird-gore? You're being weird-gore, not Wegor. What's the dealio? Are you trying to persuade him or are you trying to intimidate him? Oh, I'm intimidating. Oh, make an intimidation check. That was intimidating? Yeah! Yeah, that's what I asked. That's when you're going persuasion. 14.

You know, Wegor has four arms, and he puts one of his arms up to his chin like he's considering what you're saying. Then he just begins laughing. I laugh back. Not so funny now, is it?

I think it's really funny. Thank you, Barney. All right, that's my turn. Because I can't do the jump backwards, right? Because I just used my bonus action for the potion. Correct. Okay, so then I'm just, I'm hanging out. I also need to roll my wisdom saving throw, correct? Yeah. Okay, here we go. 10. That does not make it. No. Okay. You're still scared. That was Chip. Oh, it's Weegor's turn. Oh, great.

Oh, great. What's he going to do with all these arms? What are those arms for, Wegor? I know what he's going to do. He begins furiously flapping his arms wildly all around him. It's like a rain of fists coming down on you there, Chip. Make a dexterity saving throw. What do you want? Oh, that's pretty good. All right. A couple of the fists land on you and hit you, but you're able to block and absorb most of the damage. You only take five points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. And that's already considering it being halved and stuff? Yeah. Okay.

You see the glint of metal as Uyghur pulls out a weapon and tries to quickly put that weapon in you. What a way of saying it. That's a word smith. What a word smith. Pits AC 23. Believe it or not, that hits. What? That does. I'm getting good rolls this episode. I'm really liking this. Five points of piercing damage. Good lord. You still standing? Good thing I have a healing potion. I'm barely. Make a constitution saving throw. Let's see if that thing. Oh my god.

Why are you doing this to me, guys? Seven. You feel as the weapon pierces you, a burning sensation radiating from that point, and it slowly freezes your body in position. That's cool. What conditions are you going to just... According to Pokemon rules, he should only have one status effect at a time. Yeah, let's let go. You're now also paralyzed. Oh, that's great. For those at home, that means that I'm incapacitated. I can't move or speak. Yeah, shut up.

*laughter*

Pleasantries, my pungent pals. Good news, fellow stinkers. We finally have official Stinky Dragon dice coming to the store. They go on sale first at RTX, so attendees will get first dibs, but they'll be available at the RT store soon after. So stay tuned here and on our socials. We'll have more details on when they'll be available online very soon. Go follow us at Stinky Dragon Pod. We're on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Plus, if you post on social media using hashtag Stinky Dragon Pod, we might name an NPC in the show after you.

Listen up, you little stinkers. We've got a brand new show that's all about how we made our first D&D campaign, The Infinite Interns. From character creation to my juicy DM tips, you can find it all on Dungeon Dive, our new D&D series available today on TikTok. Don't miss out on how to make a hot cup of Mudd's coffee. Check it out at StinkyDragonPod right now over on TikTok.

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Oh, that hurt. That hurt. Barney. Oh, no. Did you see what just happened to Chip? No. I don't think Barney's that upset. How are you doing health-wise? Is he allowed to tell us? He's allowed to talk. I'm not doing great. How many points left? If I ever had a glass, it'd be a quarter full. All right. I would say a half-half.

Barney wants to kind of like move to the center. Towards the dog? Well, like in between the dog and Chip and Weegor. Wait, wait, you said you want to go to the center? Well, like in between where the center of the doggy is and then where Chip... I see, so like on the southern portion of the room between the center and where Weegor is. Got it. Can I get within like 30 feet of everyone? What do you mean by everyone? Like all the teammates. Oh, I see, I see, I see. Yeah, there's easily a position you can get to

where everyone would be within 30 feet of you. And then Barney goes, I may be in the twilight of my years, but I'm channeled twilight century. I don't know what you just said. I'm channeled twilight century? A channeled divinity. As an action, you present your holy symbol and a sphere of twilight emanates from you. The sphere is centered on you, has a 30-foot radius, and is filled with dim light.

The sphere moves with you and it lasts for one minute or until you're incapacitated or die. Whenever a creature, including you, ends its turn in the sphere, you can grant that creature one of these benefits. One D6 plus two temporary hit points or you end one effect on it, causing it to be charmed or frightened. At the end of our next turn. At the end of everyone's turn. Yeah. For a minute. So you pick what they get. Yeah. What's Barney's holy symbol? It's the setting sun. Like a medallion or something? Yeah.

I was hoping you were going to say it was the walker. Oh, I mean, can that be a holy symbol? I don't know. You got to tell us. What's holy about your walker? He's got a pocket watch. Okay. And then on one side, you open it up, you know. Yeah. There's nothing. There's a missing picture. Made in China. And then on the other side is a clock.

but then like the emblem of it is like a setting sun okay i like this so i'll do that so you moved you cast that you said you're quarter full you're what i'm fine she only took the bite the bite damage yeah oh wait no like lightning if you want actual numbers i'm i have 19 uh hp left lord what i don't even have max that yeah same here and then i guess i'll do that are you gonna stay there you're gonna maintain that position yeah so that i'm centered around everyone

Okay. What do you grant yourself? Well, I would like to grant 1d6 plus 2, which I roll for now. Yeah.

temporary hit points. You know, wait, do you want to clear your frightening? That's at the end of my turn, so I'd have to do that after. Oh, that's this. You choose either. Oh, can I clear it? Yeah, can I try and roll for that first? So just for as a point of clarity then, I forgot you were frightened. You wouldn't have been able to make that direct line movement because you can't get any closer to Kazelbury. Oh, okay. Your movement would have been a little more arc. You still had to have enough movement to do it, so it would have been a little more curved, a little more arc around the outside of the room because you cannot close that distance at all. I don't like that doggy. So you're going to clear frightening or add HP?

If it's at the end of my turn, I can pick which one goes first. I can try and clear my Frightening by myself first. Right. So I'll do that. A roll for wisdom, right? Yeah. Well, they're both at the end of your turn. Yeah, go ahead. I see what you're saying. You get to go ahead and check for Frightening. Yeah. Okay. 25. Yes. You regain your courage. You're no longer afraid of Kazelbury. You remember the time a three-headed dog was nice to you as a child.

And then I got six Teprion points. Ooh, it's kind of a powerful spell there for Channel Divinity. That's a new one, I imagine, right? Yeah. Well, it's not a spell. It's like a cleric thing. Nice. It's crazy when we have just someone who's meant to be healer. Okay, is that it for you, Barney? Yeah. It's Kazelbrie's turn. Kazelbrie's going to try to bite Elga again.

Elko just looks like a chew toy to him. All right, you want to party, little wolf? I look like Red Riding Hood. This doesn't end well for you. Oh, no! I don't think that helped. It maybe made Kazelbrie angry, hitting AC 27. Oh! Let me do some math here. Yeah, that's a hit. That's the numbers. That's probably like double your AC if you're a barbarian. Yeah, it's pretty high.

It's almost double. Crunch the numbers like it's about to crunch Elga's bones. 15 points of damage, but you take half, so you take seven. Piercing damage. You must make a strength saving throw. 22. Elga's so strong. Wow. That's right. And she flexes even though she's in the middle of being bit. Nice.

Kazilbri's also gonna claw at you. What? You know, the three actions this dog gets to take. It has three heads, but only one body. Yeah, the first was a bite, and now the claw. The claw hits AC 23. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Doing...

I like that. Just a second ago, Chris was like, how are you doing? You're like, I'm fine. Well, you know, I have the most HP out of anybody. Plus you take half of most of this damage. It does 11 points of slashing damage, but you're raging, so you take five. Okay, starting to be a little tender here. And Kazelbury once again does a harmonizing howl. All of you, well, not Mateed, must make a wisdom. Actually, not even you, Chip. Only Barney and Elga must make wisdom saving throws. Chip.

She becomes double frightened. 21. 8. 8. Oh, you are now frightened, Elga. Is this a charm? No.

- You sure about that? - So does that mean I can't attack this thing anymore? - Correct. - Although at the beginning of my next turn, I get to do that again. - It's at the end of your turn. You might be able to attack it. So what it says is you have disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls while the source of your fear is in your line of sight and you cannot willingly move closer to the source of your fear, but you're already in melee attack range. - So I just have disadvantage. - Correct. - But if you attack recklessly, you don't. - It would balance out. - But it would get advantage on its attacks. - Exactly.

which have been, not to try to persuade you, it's already been double your AC most of the time. It goes back to the top of the initiative order. Wegor again begins laughing maniacally. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

adjusting the levers on the rod and storm clouds once again form at the top of the dome. The hairs on your body stand on end and lightning shoots down all around you. Everyone who, well, not Mateed, everyone else, well, hold on, you are at disadvantage because you're paralyzed on this road. Listen, I have three status effects, frightened, incapacitated, and paralyzed. Why are you incapacitated? Because it says in paralyzed, a paralyzed creature is incapacitated. So then I had to check incapacitated.

I love this! I'm having a great time! I love ChipSoup, guys! This is the best! This is why you got out of the game, Chip. Uh, make dexterity saving throws. All of us? Yeah. Except for me? Well, you roll at disadvantage. Eight. Wait, shoot, that was a... Thirteen? That! That was an ability checked on a saving throw, so it's not gonna count. But it was a nat 20. It counts, you can count that dice. Yeah, we'll just- we'll take the die, we'll just adjust the modifier on it. Okay. Oh, oh, oh! Two 20s! 24! Wow...

two nat 20s in a row yes yeah wow yeah you wasted them on this yeah i know but he needed it he needed it this is not a waste does the 13 pass maybe that's a low saving throw but a typical one at the end of the day it doesn't matter so i'm gonna take half damage and half damage is still gonna put me out i'm about to die again but yeah you get your your hit points

I think also your status effects go away if you're incapacitated. I think you're correct. I think it is. You can't have conditions while you're incapacitated. Oh, part of my plan.

Can't get me if I'm down to zero. The lightning strikes all around, doing nine points of damage. Okay. Nine points of lightning damage to Barney and Elga. Chip, you take half because somehow you miraculously save that and you only take four. Wait, I take that even with the 13? Yes. Well, I'm dead. Incapacitated. Yeah. Elga drops to the ground. Uyghur just cackles with glee. Ugh.

Elga, it's your turn. Go ahead and roll a death saving throw. Three, so I failed. Yeah, you're in the blackness, but you also hear those voices. Definitely not ready. I need way more time. Did I tell who that was? Mm-mm. Mateed, go ahead and roll that beautiful bean footage. Copy that. I got a 12 on one of them, which is a success. All right, that's two successes. You need three? I need three. Stabilize.

Survive! So is Barney the only one up now? Yes. Well, I'm still up, but I'm paralyzed. I'm essentially a wax figure of Chip. Speaking of, what do you want to do this turn, Chip? I don't know. What can I do? I am...

Frightened, incapacitated, and paralyzed. So I don't know what rolls I can even do to save. The paralyzed effect maintains. You could roll to see if you get out of your frightened state. And then what were the two? What were the effects that yours clears? Frightened and charmed? Yeah. Frightened or charmed or it gives temporary health. Yeah. Okay. So definitely worth rolling to try and get rid of it naturally. Well, I can roll that first. Sure. Sure.

What is that? Oh, what? The kind of save? Yeah, your wisdom. Wisdom. It's a wisdom save you throw. Does it just see any sort of advantage or disadvantage? No. Okay. Wisdom save you throw.

Come on. Come on. Oh, that's a seven. Okay. So then do you want to use Barney's spell to remove the fear or to add? I think Barney makes that decision. Yeah. Oh. Well, I think it's, is it based off of your last? No, I can do it for every. So. Okay. What is Barney doing? I know you're incapacitated, but like. And afraid. I guess I will go for fear.

Okay. All right, sure. Yeah, it's all good. It's all gravy. There's no bad answers here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that? D6 plus two? Oh, yeah. It's eight. Eight temporary points. He rolled max for you. Well, I can't say it, but I... Oh, Bernie, you're doing it again. You're just talking out the front of your mouth. He's like the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz.

But you told me to freeze. That is Chip's turn, which means it's Weegor. Then after Weegor is Barney, then Kazelbury. Come at me. You're trying to taunt him? I don't know. Go at him. I thought Whippersnapper's worse than you. Shoot the dog. All right. Well, Weegor pulls something out of a pocket. It looks like a little bag of some kind and tosses it in your direction, Barney. Make a strength saving throw.

Bad rolls, bad rolls. You all having the bad rolls, I'm having the good rolls. Bad rolls, talking about this. It's like a little sack of some kind gets tossed in your direction. As it hits the ground near your feet, it explodes, releasing acid all in the area. You take five points of acid damage. Nice.

How you standing there? You standing good? Uh, yeah, I'm fine. And you are unable to move. It's like restraining you. Oh. And, um,

Oh, yeah. Weegor's going to approach Chip and taunt him and pick him up and grab him. Just give him a big old hug and give him a little smooch on the cheek. This is awful. That's it for Weegor's turn. Can I spit? I mean, I know I can't move and talk my mouth, but I can spit though, right? Your paralyzed effect actually ends at the end of Weegor's turn. But he has you grappled.

Like I said, he embraced you and is holding you now. Okay. Perfect. That was Weegor Barney. All right. How's the doggy and Weegor looking? You wish they looked worse. You really do. Okay. Barney wants to... He's going to cast Guiding Bolt on Weegor. Okay. To try and knock him out. All right. So you make a ranged spell attack against Weegor. Okay.

16. That hits. All right. Let's see how much this does. 10. We were winches in pain. I'm going to make him make a roll to see if he drops chip or not. Yeah, he rolled a four. The pain is so intense. It distracts him. His grip on chip weakens a little bit. Chip, you're no longer grappled. I have a question. Yeah. For a bonus action, is there a way I can use a potion on anyone? Oh, you can't move. You're restrained because of the previous attack. Okay. You can give yourself a potion.

I will, though, use my channel divinity thing, continue to use that on me and do another 1d6. Nice. Oh, that's six. So that's eight for me. So I have eight now instead of nine. So that's the end of Barney's turn. That means it's Cazelprey. Oh, great. Cazelprey.

Selgric has bested all of the foes in front of him. What a good doggie. It's supposed to leave body parts for Wegor, so it can't desecrate Elgarum Atid. Come at me. Yeah, it's going to make a beeline towards Barney because Barney's the next closest person.

Kazelbrie very quickly, much quicker than you think. You know, Kazelbrie's a rather large, I mean, huge animal, but much faster than you would expect for something of its size, and it closes the distance extremely quickly to you, Barney. And

Lashes out, trying to bite you. Biting AC 19. - Ugh. - Plus eight, Gus? - Really? - Plus eight. - Really? - All right, it hit me. - Is it 'cause it has three heads, so it's like three sets of teeth going all at the same time? - I don't know. Three teeth are better than one. - Just three teeth? - One individual tooth. - It does nine points of piercing damage. - All right. - Now you must make a strength saving throw. See if you got that old man strength. - Are you still alive? - Yeah. - Okay.

You just have those temporary hit points. That's when they come down one of your actual age. And now do a strength saving throw? Yeah. That's a one. Elga was stout and able to withstand the might of Kazelbri's bite. Well, I wouldn't say that much. Well, you didn't let it get the best of you. The bite is so intense that, you know, like Kazelbri shakes his head a little bit and throws you to the ground, knocking you prone. Well, you were already restrained, so now you're restrained and prone. Cool.

And then Kazelby tries to stomp on you because you're on the ground. That's not nice. Leave the old man alone. You know what they say. What do they say? Don't beat a dead cleric on the ground. Yeah, that's what they say.

23, which is most likely a hit. Yeah, it hits. Believe it or not. The only one who's still upright is a paralyzed, scared... He's not paralyzed anymore. Okay, is a scared rogue. Yeah. Against the wall. Okay. You take eight points of damage. Okay. You can do it. And Kazelbrie howls again. Oh, no.

So who's left? Chip and Barney both make wisdom saving throws. I'm still frightened from previous. Does that mean I... Oh, you don't have to then. Great, great. There he is. Turn it up, Chip. Oh, yeah. I'm still very scared. That's an 18. Oh, man, yeah. That doesn't scare me one bit. I know he wants to kill us. He wants to kill us. We're not going to let him, Trace. What? Go for the lever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wrong lever. That's Kazelle Bree's turn. Speaking of levers, Weegor once again begins laughing maniacally and manipulates the levers on the pylon, causing storm clouds to form in the dome. That's it. That's it. The hairs on your head all stand on end. Make dexterity saving throws. It's okay. I feel Barney's got this. That's a nat 20 for 22. That's a nat 20. That's what I'm trying for. Let's do it. Yeah. Wow.

Okay, you guys still take damage by the way. No, no, maybe not with the nat 20. You take two points of lightning damage. There you go. Even with the nat 20? Yeah, you take half. Alright, I'm done. Oh, no! No! No! My team, they're relying on me. So close. Stupid dog. Should've taken the potion. Alright, Elga, make your death save. Oh, man. Okay. Oh.

You can do it. Oh, 16. Oh, that's good. That's the success. It's like nothing happened. Mateed, make your save. This might be something. You have two successes, right? Yeah. Nat 20. Yes. FAB. Success. That's three successes. And you're back with one health. Yeah, you have one health. Okay. Mateed has one hit point. Can Mateed do anything? Does a death save roll happen at the end of their turn? It just depends on when the death save roll happens. You just keep acting dead. Yeah.

Honestly, Mateed would just phase through the floor and just start a new party. Say it. Nope. Yeah, we'll say that the roll is at the top of your turn. So Mateed has one hit point and I don't know, it's feeling spry. Feeling good. Okay. So the warg has turned their back on Mateed. We'll say it's turned its back on you and it

It's kind of, you know, like we said, it grows up on that circle in the middle. Like its hind legs are still on the circle and its front legs are out of the circle, like facing Barney. Then I have a question for you, Dungeon Master. If I were to move away from the warg, would that open me up for an attack of opportunity with it not paying attention? You would not have an attack of opportunity just because it moved a little bit out of your melee range in order to try to close the distance with Barney. I'd like to go and get that stupid lever and...

I don't know, snap it off, gum it up, do whatever I can do to make that thing inoperable and in the off position. I can fly 50 feet. Actually, it's not even, you could walk there. It's only about 25 feet away. I fly! I fly!

to get down to the south where Weegor is along with Chip. Can you do bird poop on him? I didn't want to explicitly say that, but I was like, whatever I can do to get this lever not to work and be in the off position. Well, there's actually three levers. Oh. So was there one that Weegor pulled to power up Kazelbrite, and has he been using a different one to get the lightning to come down? Make a wisdom check. You make a wisdom check. Yeah, you do.

tell him yeah thank you yeah i appreciate it okay just for fun my wisdom's plus 20. shut up 21. 21 yes you did make mental note that he appeared to use the middle lever to raise the platform and bring kazelbri up and has been manipulating the right lever to call lightning in was it vigor powered up when that lightning turned on he just thinks it's hilarious

Okay, okay. It's on Kazelbury. Kazelbury not being operated by this electricity? No, but Kazelbury was not in the room and raised up on the platform. Okay, okay. Then that's not as good as I was hoping. I was hoping that Kazelbury was being powered by this. What's the third lever? Oh. The right one is the one that does the electricity for you.

where it hits the salt i got two hands can i do two of those levers and have them both off right sure why not we'll say you could do that yeah plus think about mateed's wingspan your bird which is which is probably impressive i think

I think you think that was funnier than it actually was. Let him have it. Let him have it. Because he also used wingspan. He's had a rough fight. Regular humans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta fly somehow, right? You pull on the middle and the right lever? Sure. Okay, so you pull both of those levers down. Hair's on the back of your neck, right? The broad seems to power down a bit. You know, there's not lightning in the air anymore. And the central metallic circle begins to lower. And since Kazelbury's hindquarters are on it, you kind of like

struggles with his front paws to stay in the room, but, you know, is pulled down along with that. You ever seen like a pug try to make a jump on a couch and not make it quite? It's kind of like that. Help me, brother. Yeah, yeah. Bye, Elga. And Barney just kicks the dog further down. Barney's out. Bye, doggie. Weegor screams in panic. No!

Yes. Is that it for you, Mateed? Okay, so that is me doing an action. You moved to get down there and then actions. Yeah. I will say the levers are actually a bonus action. So if you wanted to do another action. All right, I'm going to roll that. That's a 20. That hits. 13. 13 points of damage. Let's go. Just like our entire team is on the floor dying. And Barbara's like,

Let's go! What is happening? I'm so tired! Why am I going down? Weegor had 11 hit points left and you did 13. Weegor is down. Kazelle Bree has been lowered from the platform despite

how bad that went. You guys somehow pulled it out at the end. It's only because you rolled a 20 on your death save there. To paint a picture, it's Matit at 1 HP. So like, just like if you turn a picture up to 1% opacity, that's the ghost that's standing in front of you. And then you two are on the floor. You're peeing yourself in the corner, frightened. Yeah.

I only have one HP and a little bit of temp. So, like, I barely am living to. Arms on, like, fists on the side of there, like, standing triumphantly like Peter Pan. A job well done. Are we out of combat? Yeah, you're out of combat. Everyone receives an inspiration die. And if y'all want, you can take a long rest at this point. Wow. They already are. The longest rest. Oh.

I live. Barbara's got her hands crossed over her chest like a vampire coming up out of a coffin. And then trying to keep up this charade of not being a vampire, quickly puts her hands down. I mean, I'm alive. Thank you. Breathing. So is Wegor still conscious? Like, are we able to... No, he's unconscious. Okay. It's like when you all get knocked to zero. Like, he's in the death save mode. Should we investigate? When you get knocked down, you don't get up again. No.

Never going to keep you down. It's Chumbawamba. It's Chumbawamba. Should we... We should interrogate Wegor. Yeah, if you want to do that, Matit actually wants to go and retrieve the crystal. Well, that's a pretty little stone. It's firmly attached into the pylon, but you can take the whole thing if you want. Sure, I guess. If it's not... If I can't pull it out. It's all constructed together and really holding it in there. Does Barney recognize that this...

pylon lever thing is the same thing that was on the blueprints. I think Elga knows that. Oh yeah, Elga got the three blueprints. I don't know if you told anyone that. I think I did when we first walked in and I saw it. Yeah, okay, so then in that case, yeah, Barney would know. If Barney knows anything. And Mr. Weegon, where is he? He's just like laying on the ground. I want to interrogate him. No, he's Weegon now. I want to interrogate him. Okay, let's see how this goes.

I have a dagger, and I stab the ground next to his head to wake him up. He doesn't wake up. Yeah, he's out. He's out. Well, I tried scaring him, but he's out cold. You got any, like, smelling salts in your fanny pack or something? I can fart in his face. How does that sound? Ha ha ha!

You know what? I'm going to take a Sharpie and draw a stupid, silly face on his face. What does it look like? He's got a silly mustache, not like mine. Chips is a cool mustache. A little goatee patch, a black eye, and maybe stupid written across his forehead. But spelt wrong, because he's stupid. That's funny. Two O's, not a U. Can we search him? How would Barty suggest that? Well, it seems like he might owe us an apology. We'll see if it's in here. Ha ha ha!

Yeah, we gotta, he's gotta pay his taxes, am I right? That's where I keep all my apologies. Pre-written in my coat pocket. Maybe he has everyone else's taxes in there. Metagame-wise, you found his taxes.

No. Oh. How much are we talking? It was in that chest that y'all found last time. Oh. Gotcha. Yeah, you start going through his pockets and you find one of those little sacks that he like threw at you guys a couple of times. Oh. Those acid sacks? One of them was acid that he threw at... One was electric. One of them was lightning that he threw at Chip. Can I tell which? You have no idea. You could open it. No.

No. Can one of us keep that and use it as a little fun little mystery thing? Barney has a little... Barney has a mystery bag. You can write it in your inventory as an abombomb. A-B-O-M space B-O-M-B. You want a bomb bomb? A bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb. I'll take a bomb bomb, Barney. Oh, you could have a bomb bomb. I'll take a bomb bomb. Are you going to give it to Chip? Yeah. As the weakest member of the party. Weakest? I almost died. So did everybody else.

We all were kind of teamwork. So who's got it? Chip. Roll me a D6 chip. Okay.

I didn't toss it at him. Three. Okay, thank you. Is there anything in the room that we could use to, like, bind Weegor? How about we just toss him down to the... Yeah, can we feed him to Kazelbury? That's dark. Kazelbury went down into the lower recesses of the room. Sounds like we know where Weegor's going. Oh, no, I accidentally kicked Weegor's body into a pit. Oops. We'll let him down gently. I mean, is that what we're doing? Nah.

Okay. Shall we get this back to its refer owner? Yeah. Wait, the dragon? Dragon. We need to save Dracula. Or not Dracula. Frankenstein. Wrong one. I'm sorry. I'm thinking of Dracula so much. I miss him so much. I assume you're taking the rod back down to Muscaton to reunite with the alchemist? Yes. High fives all around, team. We were not supposed to win that. We did it. We pulled it out. Hey, good for all of you.

I'm so proud. Barney, great job. MVP, you did it.

Well, I went and took a nap. But you saved us with that Timpe Chibi, though. So where the team is heading down the stairs? Yeah. When we were leaving the room, was that center place still open? Yeah, it was. Yeah. We get to the first floor and the dog is just waiting for us. Boss fight reinitiates. As the team is leaving and heading down the stairs, Matit actually does want to go back and push Uyghur into the middle. Okay. But out of the sight of the three of them. Sure. Everyone begins going downstairs and Matit does a little sneaky.

You guys make your way back to Masketten and run into the alchemist. Oh, you're back. I've accomplished so much while you've been gone. What did you accomplish? I've replenished my alchemical supplies and can provide each of you with an experimental elixir. Does it level us up? Because I think we need it. What is this experimental elixir? I'm not entirely sure. It can have a variety of positive effects.

Okay. Bunny, take your medicine. Elga, roll me a d6. You got it. A two. Your elixir is an elixir of swiftness. It'll increase your walking speed by 10 feet for one hour. Wow. Look at her power walk. And is taking an elixir a bonus action? Yeah, sure. Are we all rolling d6s? Yeah, I was going to go around. Blaine, roll me one. Okay.

Okay, here we go. That's a one. Ooh, you got an Elixir of Healing. Ooh. Lucky. What does that do? You'll regain 2d4 plus 3 hit points. Yeah, I'll take it. Let's see what you get. Cat. Ooh, Elixir of Boldness. You can roll a d4 and add that number to every attack roll and saving throw for the next minute.

Oh dang, that's not bad. That's pretty good because that's like 10 rounds. I'm a fan of that. And Barney. Three? Oh yeah, that's an elixir of resilience. You get a plus one bonus to AC for 10 minutes. An excellent work. I see you've retrieved what appears to be the crystal.

It was easy. No, it was hard work. I'm pretty sure Bernie pooped himself. He's just not admitting it to the rest of the team. He did it really close to me, so that's why the smell is really close to me. Definitely not me. Well, I feel like we must make haste with the time limit that was given to us by Skelegon.

That's right. How are like long rest? How does that work? I wouldn't ask questions about it. What do you mean? We took a long rest. We had 24 hours to get to the. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's a time moves slower in the windmule because of the. Oh, we should explore that more. Let's go back.

Quickly, let's head out the Eastern Gate to get to the Snarelands. Luckily, I've also had the opportunity to procure five Steeders for us to travel quickly. - Steeders? - What are Steeders? - You aren't familiar with giant Steeders? - No. - The giant spiders you can ride?

Spooky. Mateed loves the idea. You all head to the eastern gate of Masketten, which I think you all actually didn't investigate before. And waiting outside the gate are five steeders. One for each of you and one for the alchemist. I name mine Obi. Obi? Yeah. Obi.

Roll an animal handling check to see how good you are at getting on Obi. And all of you actually roll animal handling checks. Uh-oh. It's a zero. Eleven. Wait, what? You probably negative. Four for Elga. Fourteen. She's a little afraid. Okay, I guess Matide is the only one who approaches their steeder with confidence, and the steeder acquiesces and allows Matide to mount with no problem. The other three of you, I don't know, the steeders have, like, stealthy,

Steedercents about your trepidation. Their Steedercents is tingling. And as you all are trying to mount, the three of you get bucked off and kicked. Each of you takes a hug. A life lesson learned. A life lesson learned and two points of bludgeoning damage. Am I still raging? No, but you figure it out after that and you're able to get on your Steeder no problem. You know, there's signs out there that said, beware, trail to snare lands. You all need to...

travel to get to the snare lands but you need to get there safely so we need everyone to do a survival check kind of like a group check however that being said chip you have an advantage on this check because you have the map and you're able to read thieves can't oh

Well, shoot. 20 minus one. 19. Sorry, guys. I rolled a net one for five. You both rolled a one? Well, it came out to a four. Unless I... Is it worth my inspiration die? Maybe since we had two ones. Well, you guys also rolled really well, so maybe it balances out to make us nice and even. I don't know. Two ones is a pretty big dinger.

I'll use it. Don't, don't. I'll tell you. It's successful. I'll let you save it. I rolled an 18. You all are able to navigate the way. Chip really pitching in there. Really pinch hitting. Follow me, gang. I know what I'm doing. Elga's just getting motion sickness on the steeder. Barney's facing the wrong direction. It probably lets me motion sickness and we're just constant like rumbling because of the eight legs constantly going. You know, you kind of go through this passageway into the side of the mountain.

that kind of leads you through the trail to get to the snare lands. And as you are going through, the smell of fresh air begins to fill the tunnel before you. You press on and eventually find an exit out of the trail. It's difficult to know exactly how long it took to traverse this passageway, but it wouldn't be a stretch to say the better part of the night.

The starless night sky is blanketed with clouds overhead. The air is thick with a smoggy haze and the ground is dried and cracked. Every now and then you hear a pop nearby like some kind of bubble bursting. I'm afraid I have no experience with the snail ends. Only tall tales. Do any of you? Let me think.

- Yeah. - I love Barney's, even if Barney doesn't know, like Barney's willingness to jump in. - He might be in there somewhere. - I don't know, but I'm going to try. - Can I think on it, do a history? - Make a wisdom check, Barney. - It's 18. - You don't think you remember anything about the Snarelands from your past? - Well, I can't be sure, but I imagine it will be dawn soon. We should probably dismount and tie our steeders up near the cave. If they were to get spooked in this heist, we would be left to walk all the way back to Maskhattan.

The alchemist dismounts but then stops abruptly. I... I can't move? Oh no. A muddy bubble bursts from the ground below you all, filling the air with a sickening stench. The ground shifts and you feel the foul dirt swallowing you into the earth. This is... Stinking Sand!

Find out what Stinking Sand is on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Tales from the Stinky Sand. This was a fun one, guys. Good job. We survived. Don't forget to give us a follow on social media. StinkyDragonPod. And we'll be back next week with another episode. We'll see you at RTX. Yeah. And I think we have some maybe new merch out.

Oh, yeah. That's actually one good thing to entice. We have some fun merch coming out soon that you're going to want to get your hands on as soon as possible. We'll give you more information soon about it, but it's not a piece of apparel. It's something a little more fun than that. It's a knife! All right. Bye. Bye.

This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger with additional editing work by David Saunier. Here's a quick shout out to folks that interact with us on social media. Recently, here's some NPCs named after them in this episode. Cass the Warg, named after at ProfMadScientist on Instagram. Elora the Warg, named after user Elorasaurus on Reddit. And Brindley the Warg, named after at mbrindley13 on Twitter. All three names combined to make Casselbury, the three-headed warg. You knew that. All three names combined to make Casselbury, the three-headed warg.

that also want to give a special thanks to some friends who write a video for characters in this episode the alchemist voiced by blizzbear at blizzbear and we gore the hunchback henchman voiced by jack patillo at jack underscore p tune in next time for another thrilling episode of tales from the stinky dragon