C02 - Ep. 07 - Menace of Maschatten - Nuts and Vultz
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This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon is sponsored by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? Maybe you never skip leg day or maybe therapy day.

When your schedule is packed with different things like kids activities, work projects, maybe listening to a podcast, it's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know what makes us happy, it's hard to make time for it. But when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. I think everyone agrees that therapy is beneficial for a whole host of things, whether that's learning coping skills or setting boundaries. I think it can help empower you

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This is a Rooster Teeth production. Compliments to all you Kilmoulis. Climb on into the Stinky Dragon and quaff our latest coffee, Bane or Boon Bean Juice. It's a mixture of freshly picked pecans and pecants, a blend of Cullen Blessing Coffee, Costa Rica Coffee, topped with freshly slammed fruit extract, apples, or oranges.

One nip of this noncommittal nosh will turn your frown upside down or smile much more vile. Previously, our adventurers boarded a train while in pursuit of their new suspect, Eddie. They were unable to locate the skinless suspect, but did manage to put a day's worth of training, rest, and travel under their belts.

Now they find themselves arriving at a new region of Groteth, Moskheten. Draw yourself a drink and let's dive back into this dank drama. That's my bad Bela Lugosi there, according to John. It was a great Bela Lugosi. I like that because of the localized way you say the word, you ruined one of Micah's puns. Because if you said pecans, pecans and pecans. As I was saying it, I was like, oh, interesting. I messed that up.

That's the South Texas for you. Hey, real fast before we get started, I'm Gustavo Sorolla. I'm your Dungeon Master. I'm joined with our four cast of characters, as always, starting with... I am Chris Damaris, and I'm playing Barney Farney, the human cleric. Hi. Hi.

I'm Blaine Gibson and I play Don't look at your champagne. Level two now. You're like the kid doing like their SAT test copying someone else's name. It's an open book test. My name is Barbara Dunkelman and I voice and play Elga Von Brath, the female half elf vampire barbarian.

I'm John Rice here and I voice, but don't play, Matty Comfy Seuss, who is a Eric Cochran ghost monk. Someone's off to the side feeding John his roles and his moves. Yeah, we two player it. Before we get started, I want to hit you guys with an arrow here real fast. Got some...

Warm up questions about your backstory. Oh there goes hit yourself hard John roll me a d100. Let's see what our question is this week We got questions from there submitted online with a stinky dragon subreddit and discord as well as a few written by Micah our writer Hello Micah 67. Oh, that's another one from Jihardin I think we've had a Jihardin one before on discord This seems like a question for the players, but I'm gonna say as far as your character So for your character does your character believe in fate slash destiny or free will?

I want to know what the cleric thinks of that. The wise old cleric? No elaboration needed. Wait, yes to what? I do believe in fate. Okay, because he said, do you believe in this or this? And he said, yes. Chip does. Oh, yeah. We met his wife, Carol, down there at the Tim Hortons. I love it. First sight. What's the fantasy version?

Jim Hortons. I was expecting him-tortons. Him-tortons. It's a tortoise-run establishment. God, I'm so, I'm all up in my own head about the voice now. I sang songs on the radio with Chip's voice because I saw on the subreddit. It's like, he's going back to Kyborg. He's going back to Kyborg. And I'm like, fate, do you believe in it? No, Elga is all about free will. You know, as a barbarian, she likes to do whatever she wants. Doesn't like to be controlled.

controlled by existing outcomes. So, no, she's all about free will. Matide is the same. Matide does not like the idea of someone else controlling my actions and I am in control of my fate. As far as you know. Yeah. Hey, wait a minute. What?

Who said that? Who is this dungeon master? For all of our stinky listeners, just in case you missed it, our previous episode was something we called Between the Tales. It's typically a behind-the-scenes look at our show with the cast and crew answering questions, talking about how the dragon sausage is made, you know. Delicious.

This campaign we're trying something a little different including moments of canonical roleplay that center in on each player's growth each characters growth So if you missed that episode pause this one go back listen to between the tails first don't worry We're gonna go ahead and wait. All right, we'll hold yeah, we'll wait for How is you guys weekend Gus go Gus go Okay, now let's resume our tavernly tale

I like how John gets impatient. The five of you find yourselves aboard the Groteff Express steam engine, specifically sitting around a booth table in the dining car. Those of you who consume food are finishing up a hearty complimentary breakfast of polar boar sausages with glareberry gravy.

Elga, are you just like pushing the food around on your plate? I'm like, you know how like sometimes sausages bleed a little bit? I'm trying to wring them out into my mouth just to get the blood from them. Sausages bleed a little bit? What kind of sausages are you eating? Yeah, you know, they have like the little drippy stuff, right? Blood sausage.

If it's like really raw. If there's ever a bloody sausage in a plate in front of me, I think I'm gonna throw up. More for Elga, thank you. I'm with Barbara, I think that's like totally... There's totally a bloody sausage. Hey, eat up! What are you doing playing with your food? You're a grown little girl. You know, I'm embarrassed to eat in front of other people. I had a whole meal in the bathroom moments ago. That's horrifying. Choo-choo.

The brawny blue-vested orc enters the car. Next stop, Masked Hatten. Next stop, Masked Hatten. To those disembarking, please gather all your belongings and watch your step as you exit onto the platform. The only luggage I got is this guy. And I point to Barney. I'm your luggage. You hear the screeching of iron rails and the dining car jolts slightly as the train decelerates. The alchemist straightens his gray coat and turns to you all. Before we leave,

I feel as if I owe you all a thank you. For your thorough, albeit unorthodox investigation, and moreover for the help back in the Ther asylum. So, thank you. You're welcome. Also, I feel that I can trust you all enough to share with you my real name. I am Robert. Robert Esteban.

-Wait. -Oh, the twist. I'd appreciate it if you'd keep my identity intact, at least for the sake of my family's safety. Speaking of closely held secrets, I'm grateful we were able to hold on to this. And he holds up a leather-bound notebook. I've had a number of high-profile patients visit me over the years at the Thera-Sylum, and as you can imagine, each one of them came to me with their ailments because I exercise great discretion. This notebook is where I keep most of my notes on those patients.

Did no one else realize that Robert was the alchemist? No, I didn't. I just now made that connection. No. Oh, I mean, I can't attest if I did or didn't because my brain resets every time we record. You know when the teacher is like, all right, on to the next slide, and you're like, ah, barely finishing notes from the previous slide? That's what just happened. So he's the chemist, the medicine house, drug house. Medicine house. Their asylum. And was he cheating, or he was in the relationship with so-and-so? No, it's Francesca. His wife was in a relationship. Chesca.

Francesca. Francesca. What did I say? He says Francesca. Is it Francesca or Francesca? Francesca. Oh, my God. So we met his wife. She was in the house. I really apologize for this recording so far. We've had like a long weekend. We've all been extra relaxed and everything. So if we're a little extra loopy, that's what's going on. Okay. Yeah.

Francesca is his wife. You are the most of sound mind in the group. Can you lay it out for me in a way that I will understand with my pea brain? Yes, so Robert and Francesca are married and have a son who we met in the room. In the school. In the school. Henry. Henry was looking for his dad, couldn't find him. We found a note in the Wolfman's chambers. The Wolfman and Francesca are like an item? Maybe in love? Undefined? Two peas in a pod. Question mark?

And then we went to Francesca's house and something about she was very sad, probably because a wolfman died. Yeah. And Robert was missing. Robert's missing. Or gone. Gone. Doesn't know where he is. And we also found a passageway to the medicine house. Yeah. There was also actually a line in that episode that I said that kind of flew over everyone's head. Maybe Chris is the only one who picked up on it, where Francesca said...

Oh yeah, you know, Robert's gone. You know how alchemists are. Yeah, that's what I was like. Oh, okay. Yeah, and nobody reacted. And I was like, oh, okay, I guess. Well, yeah, I guess we're dumb. We're dumb. Ka-chunk! The train jostles to a full stop and Disp opens the sliding door leading to the station platform. Masked Hattin, Masked Hattin, watch your step as you exit the train. Matida throws their scarf over their shoulder and exits the train. Ooh.

Ooh, fashionable. Everybody else follow suit, I assume? Yes. Can I help Barney down? I've got it myself. Of course you have. But yes. Wait, wait, wait. How does Barney get out of the train? No, he accepts help. Oh, okay. But he's fussy. But he's fussy. Can I get some apple sauce to go? Y'all step off the train onto the platform. The alchemist has a brief word or two with Disp. Everyone go ahead and roll me a perception check. I have 17 for Elga. Ooh. 16 for Chip.

Seven for Barney. 14. That's a 14 for our English speaking listeners. Barney, you exit onto a station platform and you're immediately distracted by fluttering flakes falling from the cloudy morning sky. Oh, okay.

Like snow? Yeah, like snow. Volcano? Matide, before you is a breathtaking alpine village nestled in a mountain range blanketed in white. There's a narrow road leading north up towards a stone stairway with an open gate. Chip and Elga, you notice that it's a little unusual because the temperature's not very crisp or cold, but surprisingly warm. You two sniff the air and instinctively recoil at the stench of sulfur. But we're in an alpine village? Yes. Yes.

Sulfur. So the snow, this is ash. No, but he says alpine. Alpine specifically describes like a snowy mountain place. Yeah, but why does he think of sulfur? Alpine's just mountains. Is it? Or volcanoes. That's what I said. I've never heard of alpine described for volcanoes, but I'm open to it. Thank you, Barney. So the base of alpine is resembling or referring to the Alps or mountains. Yeah, I guess I just think of the Alps as being snowy mountains, but that's fine. No argument here.

No, just clarifying. But to, I believe Chip said it, to Chip's point, yeah, you realize that it's not snow that's falling. It is indeed ash. And there's heavy white clouds of swirling smoke filling the sky, coating everything with little flecks. And there is definitely a very thick smell of sulfur permeating the air. Matide notices that Barney's putting his tongue out to catch the flakes and stops him. Puts their hand over his. Reminds me of my childhood. Does snow taste different now than it was when you were a child? Yeah.

It does. It does. My tongue must have gotten older. Tongue must have gotten older. Your tongue does. That's weird to think of. Your tongue gets older. There is a now road heading north up towards that stone stairway. Mateed starts walking that direction. Well, I must say goodbye. To who? To all of you. It was a pleasure. Barney, we're a team. We are going together on this mission. Barney, where are you going? I've got a big quest of my own. What's that? Where?

Well, it's clearly you don't remember, so now come on the quest with us. Easy peasy. I will have to go. I will find my new, my quest. Okay, let's go. Are you coming with us? Well, for now. I foresee this being a very annoying piece of the puzzle that happens later in the story. Matita's already headed towards that. Matita's gone. Nope. Okay, well.

Come along, Barney! Okay. Alright. Everyone follows Matide up there? Yeah. I see that it's not acceptable to do snow angels slash ash angels. I mean, you can do it if you want. No, no, no. Why is it not acceptable? Who said that? Because no one else is doing them. You could be a pioneer. I'm a trendsetter. I'm gonna do a snow angel. That's an ash angel, but yeah. What does that do to his skin? Well, I'm a tiefling, so I like fire things. That's an ash. Oh, I guess it makes me white. That's a good one.

You got purple skin, right? Yeah, but now I'm covered in gray ash. Wait, do you do it face down? No, that's not how you do a snow angel. He said he's covered. He said he's covered. It's camouflage. Oh, you can't see me. Just imagine Gus's parents watching their strange child just go face first into snow. It was him. He asked if he's face down because he said he was covered. This is not Gus being weird. This is Blaine being weird. No, but like

No one thinks about doing it that way. He was the one who said it. It's you, Gus. It's you. Roll me an athletics check. Let's see how this snow angel or this ash angel turns out. You're the problem, Gus. You should make my teed roll as well. Just to see if they keep their balance. It's a 21. It's the most perfect ash angel you've ever seen. It looks great, but when you stand up and turn around and look at it, it's also got two horns on it.

Oh, an ash devil! Oh no! Run! Run! I think it's beautiful. And we shall name him Clayton. Uh, alright. Yeah, you, um, you all head up after the creation of Clayton the Ash Devil. Uh,

You all head north up the path a little bit. Everyone roll me another perception check. 11. Bad one this time. 6. 5. 18. You know, as you all are approaching the, what appears to be a gate to the town, Elga, you're the only one who notices that there are

kind of running parallel to the southern portion of the town. And they appear to be buzzing slightly. Like a bunch of different poles? Yeah, they're spaced out every few feet. Telephone poles, kind of, like what, how high? Metallic poles, let's say they're probably 20 feet tall. You gravitate by the back of their garments just before crossing because you sense a little bit of danger. Oh. I don't want anyone to be alarmed.

But I think these poles might be dangerous, so we should maybe scout the area before we keep going. Yeah, if you want to scout the area, you can roll me an investigation check, Elga. Yeah. Is the gate manned by anybody? No, it does not appear there's anyone at the gate. It's a two. What's that? What does that get, Gus? Yeah, it's just your intuition. Hmm.

I don't feel so good. Is something buzzing? Anybody put their phone on silent, maybe? Can I check to think of what I remember about Mesketsen if I know anything about this city? Yeah, make a wisdom check. There's a clue in the word. It's got to be. Thirteen. I know. We don't get to see the spelling, so we don't see the puns. Yeah, Mesketsen. Thirteen. It's a big kitten. Mesketsen. Mesketsen. Mesketsen.

I think you're right. You remember Rasketten is very famous for the use of an invention by Frankenstein called volts.

Okay. And no one's at the gate. And we've stopped because it looks dangerous because we don't want to go through the buzzy. You said, so we're heading north. Correct. And there's a gate that's north. But you said all the way south the poles are running? Just south of that gate. Okay. So we haven't passed any poles. Correct. Okay. I'll tell you what, Mateed, why don't you roll me an investigation check as well since you're trying to rack your brain here. That's a nat 20. Ooh.

Tell us the history of Masketten. As you're pondering, you know, thinking about what you know of Masketten, you look down on the ground and you see the carcass of a tiny griffin with its feathers singed. You okay there, little guy? Somehow I think if we walk between these poles, there might be some type of electrocution situation in between them. Mateed calls out to see if anybody is present at this gate to assist with this. What do you shout?

Bonjour! We are travelers here to see a masketin. Is there anybody here who can help us into the city? Just then, the alchemist catches up from behind to you guys and says, "Oh!"

I can help with that. He walks up close to the poles and turns to you all and says, just do as I do. And he turns facing back to the north and says, it's alive. And then walks between the poles and continues on his way. Okay. I'll follow suit. It's alive. And then walks through. Yeah, nothing seems to happen. You walk through uneventfully. I dance. I pole dance through. He's fine through the poles? Yeah. Matide shrugs and goes, it is alive. And walks through.

The poles, maybe if they were animate objects, you would think maybe they're confused a little bit, but nothing seems to happen and you walk through just fine. It's alive. Barney, after you. And then I go through. Okay, yeah, no problems at all for Barney. What's she going to do, Elga? Could Elga just kind of stick her hand?

She's very wary of this. Elga! Like you stick your hand... Kind of like between where the poles are, yeah. Say the magic words. Don't hurt yourself. It's alive. Oh, you say it's alive and stick your hand through? Yes. You say that and stick your hand and nothing seems to happen. Okay, she walks through while going, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive.

First, I thought you were going to stick your hand through without saying anything. Yeah, I thought so too. You all climb the stone steps that lead up to an archway with an open gate. Hanging above the archway is a purple pennant with a sigil stitched into the fabric. It's a white M, but the middle part of the M is a V made of two green lightning bolts. Beyond the archway are more stairways winding through the sloped village. In overhead, you see cables strung up between buildings all throughout the town. Straight ahead is a buzzing neon sign that reads, Jacqueline's Jug House and Eastern Gate

to the right, Anton's tinker spiel and Jamie's stitch mark to the left. What? Yeah, could that be... That's so many words. I'm sorry. We got Jacqueline's jug house. And something Eastern gate? Stitch. Yeah. I'm gonna say this place looks like a Metallica album cover that I got hidden down in the garage. The alchemist says, I think it's best if I go off alone to find Frankenstein. I shall appraise him of this Eddie situation.

In the meantime, feel free to explore Mascatan and meet some of the locals. The Alchemist offers you a nod and takes his leave. William, before you go, come back. The Alchemist. He's gone. Oh.

Oh, okay. I'm just really curious. I wanted to ask what the relationship with, like, Frankenstein might be with, like, the common man. Like, the Eddie guy seems like that could have been a, you know, person created by Dr. Frankenstein. Maybe you can ask around town at one of the locations. Which was your favorite location of the ones that I read? Archie's and Jughead's. I don't... Whatever that one was.

Let's go. Yeah, Barney, what was your favorite? Jacqueline's Jug House. Okay, what else? Anton's Speaker Spill. He wrote it down. We're not just... You're not the only note taker anymore. Chris is taking notes. I just... I write... I can't write as fast as people tell me. No, I definitely... Those are the only two I got. I gave up on writing any of those down. Especially when they're not...

Real words? Yeah. Michael, don't give me that look. Shall we go to Jacqueline's jackhouse? The Juggalo's house. The Juggalo's house. Oh, yeah. No, just a joke house with no juggalos in this universe. Where's the fago pop? Pop. All of the buildings here in Mascotin appear to be like half timbered with small windows and red tiles.

tiled roofs and chimneys and there's lots of overhead signs on buildings that have buzzing neon lettering so you're heading to jacqueline's jug house the sign indicates that that is to the right from where you walked in is this like germany small german swiss town meets like vegas that's probably a a fair assumption like a mountain village with a lot of electricity yeah are there uh i

Are there any citizens walking around? The streets seem sparsely populated at the moment. There are people walking around, but not too many. Okay.

I'm just curious. Hadn't heard any reference to people. So we're going to Jacqueline's? Yeah, why not? Poor Barbara. I know, I'm just making sure we're good. You all take a right and follow the sign. You know, you very quickly able to see the buzzing neon sign that says Jacqueline's Jug House. You walk in. Before we walk in, can I go, it's alive. The entire time we're shuffling around this town, it's just Elga under her breath. It's alive, it's alive, it's alive.

I hate the one with the electricity. Have we discovered, like, a deep-rooted fear of Elga? Electricity? Yeah, did Elga get, like, shocked sometimes? She had a bad experience when she was able to turn into a bat and never went back. Just ran into a bug zapper. Oh, God. You mutter under your breath, what are your new magic words of protection? It's a magic word.

And you walk into Jacqueline's Jug House. It's a well-lit, though hazy, tavern that smells of mesquite, meat, and berries, and sounds of occasional muffled screams. It's filled with round pub tables that are occupied by local abams drinking from jugs. The tavern isn't lit by torches or candles, but by bright glass fixtures overhead with cables running along the ceilings. Are these screams of horror or of pleasure? You can't tell. Pleasure. Okay. And who's drinking it?

A bomb. And what are those? Describe a bomb for us. So a bomb would be like kind of slang for like an abomination. They appear to be kind of what we would describe as like horrific looking creatures with multiple limbs that appear to be sewn together. Oh.

They're all a little different. Some have too many limbs. Others seem like they're missing some. But the common factor amongst all of them is scars and stitches. Might you say they look Frankensteined together? Everyone who lives here is just...

has undergone some type of Frankenstein transformation. They've been modified in some way. Maybe that's like a show of like class. Like that's their plastic surgery. I want to go meet Jacqueline. Is Jacqueline here? You see a barkeep. Maybe you could ask them. Hey there! James Chappady, is this your establishment? She pauses for a second from her tasks.

and looks at you and says, Yep, I'm Jacqueline. Oh, the one and only, the titular Jacqueline. This is my crew. Jacqueline is also in a bomb. She's got bright eyes, a distended jaw, and grasping webbed claws. Make sure you tell her she's beautiful. And she says, Pleasure to meet you. You're not from around here, are you? No, how can you tell? I can't quite put my claws on it. Is it the ash? I was making ash angels. No.

Not on your face, though. There's none on your face. Well, what can I get you and your crew? What you serving, Jacqueline? We got, uh... Why did you turn the iris there? What you serving, Jacqueline? Listen, I'm still the subreddit. I'm all up in my head right now. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. They hate me. They hate me. You know who's Chip? You're Chip. You're Chip. No one else is Chip. No one else gets to define who Chip is. Okay. But Blanison Gibson. Yeah.

We have two drink specials, bellowberry juice and bolt bean juice. If you're looking for some grub, we have knoll rolls and pulled orc sandwiches. Bolt bean juice? Is that like a coffee? Like a cup of joe? She points at a nearby patron who's sipping on a stein. Right there. That's bolt bean juice. And you look over and you see it's like a fizzy yellow bean looking liquid. That's not how coffee looks to me. I'll have what he's having.

All right. One bowl of pecan juice. She begins pouring liquid into a stye and hands it to you and says, That'll be one silver piece. Okay. Because I have whatever he isn't having. Ooh, bellapur-y juice for our aged friend here. She pours the liquid into a jug. This one's a swirling purple and red juice and hands it to you, Barney. That's also one silver piece. Oh.

Okay, Barney, it's on the house. Oh, wow. Mati addresses Jacqueline. Hello, Jacqueline. We are visiting your fine city for the first time, and we're actually trying to meet a friend of ours here. Has there been any other visitors from out of town in your wonderful establishment? There's always visitors coming to my place. It's the best place in Mascot Town to get a drink and food.

What can I get for you? It's nothing for me. I am okay. But I was curious, has our friend Eddie checked in here at all? Eddie. Eddie. She kind of rubs her claws at the bottom of her distended jaw as if she's thinking. Someone who might not have skin. That doesn't narrow it down too much. Oh, he has green skin. Big smile. Big.

Big ol' smile. And he's goo. Didn't he goo? No, he's green veins. Oh. Bernie. No skin. Okay. I thought he had green skin. No. Green veins. Skinless. That name doesn't ring a bell. Can't be.

Everybody's in shock because of the electricity there.

Hey, I didn't want to rule out Elga. Elga, do you want a beverage? No, I'm too young to drink, clearly. Oh, forgive me. Sorry. I don't know if it's because of recent events, but I haven't seen Frankenstein as much recently.

He hasn't really been coming around. Does he usually come around these parts pretty often? Yeah, of course! Frankenstein has done wonders for Mascotan. We all really love the guy. He's normally all around town. When did he stop kind of coming around more? Seems like fairly recently, in the last week or two. Was this after he appeared at the parade, Nitro City? I don't know. I wasn't able to make it out there, so I don't know exactly. I was here in Mascotan. But surely you know when the parade was?

Yeah, more or less. So was it around that time? Elka is like hands up on the bar now, like just in Jackalyn's face. Hey there, Jackalyn. So does Frankenstein have anything to do with just the distinct look of Masquetan people, you know? Yeah, everybody's got like a unique look. It's real cool. It's real hip. It's like tattoos, you know? Oh.

Yeah, Frankenstein very graciously offered his stitchery prowess to folks in town. Bring everyone together in brand new ways. Literally. He even taught people like Shamey his techniques. Who's Shamey? Oh, you haven't been there yet? Over at Shamey's Stitch Market? Is that to the left? Yeah, it's just a little west of here. The only other business we saw. What does Mr. Frankenstein look like? You can't mistake him. I could. Well...

Well, I don't think you can. Challenge accepted! You see, one day Dr. Frank's brother, Stein, suffered injuries to his body. It was a freak accident. Dr. Frank did everything he could to stitch him back together, but there wasn't enough of Stein left. So he combined their bodies, stitching pieces of Stein's body onto his own, including his face and half of his brain. So, Frank and Stein. That's interesting.

He's got a green skin, black mop of hair, bolts in the neck, patchwork suit of purple patterns. You can't miss him at all. Hey, Jacqueline, you ever hear of, uh, it's a competiting, uh, uh. Competiting? It's a compet, compet. It's a competing? It's a competing bar. It's called the Stinky Dragon. You ever heard of that? Can't.

I can't say I have. Tell me more. Where can I find this stinky dragon? Well, you can find him on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, Twitter. Never heard of those towns. Instagram, TikTok. Jacqueline, I'm curious, as a fan of the furthering of sciences, where is the origin of all of your wonderful electrical marvels? Oh, the volts.

That's Frankenstein as well. It's an invention of his that somehow captures the power of lightning in his windmill and sends that power down to all the buildings in town. Wow. Is that where he lives? The windmill? No, he doesn't live there. It's just a collector for the volts. Well, where does he live? He lives further north here in town. Further north? I've never been there.

Oh, like a castle? You maybe could call it that, sure. It's a large residence. What's the name of the place that they were saying the stitch place? Shammy's? Yeah. Shammy's. Shammy's Stitch Market. What might we learn from Shammy, if that is his name? Maybe you can learn how to make yourselves look a little better with some stitching. Ha ha! Um...

Can we drink? Can I drink my drink? Yeah, you got the Bellaberry juice? Yeah. You go ahead and take a drink. Cheers. As you take a drink from it, screams sound from the jug. Ah! It scared Barney. Everyone who's at the bar close to you turns and looks at you. Sorry. I'm going to eat my bean juice. Drink it. Whatever.

Bean juice in my mouth. Go. You take a drink of your bolt bean juice and it tickles your throat as you drink. It's almost like it's infused with volts. Oh, it's like pop rocks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey,

There, Jacqueline, you know, we're trying to get a feel for the town, for Muscaton. Any folks in here that we should have a chit-chat with? Well, you're definitely going to want to head over to the Tinkerspiel or the Stitch Market. How about here in your bar, in your establishment? Here? I mean, you can talk to whoever you want, but don't bother my customers too much. Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course not, of course not.

They're here to eat and drink. I don't want you running my business off. Are there any customers in here that you maybe have problems with that you don't like and would be okay with them suffering? The only person I have a problem with is Weegor. He's not here right now. Weegor? Weegor. What's wrong with Weegor? He tends to get into people's business. Okay, so if he were to disappear suddenly, that wouldn't be bad. Well, it wouldn't be bad for me. Okay. Where's Mr. Weegor? I don't know.

I don't know. All I know is he's not here right now. Okay. Matide tries to, like, give that, like, that nonverbal motion for us to, like, move on to our next... Your neck? Yeah, what's wrong with your neck there? You got, like, a muscle spasm in your neck. It's making your head... Oh, birds can turn their heads all the way around. Are you doing a trick? Could Elga grab every single party member and shove us out the door? Wait, Matide needs a massage. Okay, thank you for a nice time to go, guys. It's alive. I think everyone's getting a

-Tipsy, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive. -Kindest regards, my rankly regulars. Have you seen the latest Stinky Dragon puppet video? You deserve some more laughs in your life. The highlights are favorite moments from Tales from the Stinky Dragon in puppet form. It's a good way to get little digestible tidbits from the show. They're going up on YouTube as shorts. It's an easy way to go see them. Go check them out at Stinky Dragon Pod on YouTube.

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All right, yeah, you all walk back out onto the Asheville street. It's snowing. No, stop eating the snow, Barney. Close your mouth. Are we not concerned that we're, like, wanted, you know? Well, that's in Atro City. Atro City, yeah. I'm a free man.

For the first time in your life. Which way was the Stitch Market? From where you are, you know you would have to go back further west. Because that's on that west side. Yeah. And what was the other one that was to the east? It was Jacqueline's Jugghouse and... Anton's Speakerspiel. Anton's Tinkerspiel. The sign said it was also in the same direction, out to the west. The other one to the east was Eastern Gate. Split the party? Nope. Okay.

Chip, you're feeling really good. You think it was that drink. You feel energized. Chachi, chachi, I feel alive. I started doing... Jumping jacks is what I'm doing. How much coffee did you have this morning, Blaine? Not enough or too much. Not enough.

Well, should we maybe go over to Shamie's? Shamie's? What was it? Shamie's? Let's go to Sham Wow Stitches. Let's go. Because I think Jacqueline said something about wanting us to go there. Yeah, let's head over there. You head back, you know, to the west and you come across that sign you initially saw by the gate that you walked in and continue to the west and...

As you're walking to the west, you pass a neon sign that says Anton's Tinker Spiel, and there's another sign on the ground that says Seamy Stitch Market and pointing to the north. You make the turn and continue north a little bit, and you come across a rather large building with a huge neon sign that says Seamy Stitch Market.

This must be the place. Let's go in. Everyone walks in? Yes. You walk into kind of a not-so-sterile waiting room with bloodstained chairs and magazines. The light fixtures are kind of buzzing, and they seem to flicker on and off. There's a front desk with no one at and a bell on it. Oh, and there's a jar of green lollipops. Oh. Elga, stop licking the floor. Stop. Stop that. I'm walking. To bloodstained floors. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Elga licks the floor. No. Oh.

- Mm, yummy. - Sorry, I just, you know, I'm very considerate of other people's places. I want it to be clean. - Oh. - And that's a better way to clean. - Yes, then with your tongue. - Could I tell what kind of creature the blood is from? - Oh. - Do you have any ability that would tell you that? - Just experience. - Oh, yeah. Different awarenesses of blood. - You know how some people can like a wine taste in no way? - Like a sommelier? - Yeah. - You can't quite place it. It seems to be some blend you're unfamiliar with. - Yeah, a blend, okay. - A blend.

Mateed dings the bell. You hear a voice from the back call out, just a second. For you, you get two. Out from the back comes out another Abom. This one has five spiked arms and kind of a look of dread on their face. Oh, don't know you folk. Look like you're here for some work. I'm Shami. Good to meet you. Who rang the bell? Mateed raises their hand. Shami walks up to you and gives you a very enthusiastic five-armed hug. Oh, shucks.

A five? Oh, a five-armed hug. Yeah. So what can I get you? Are you putting limbs on? You taking them off? What are we doing today? Unfortunately, I don't think you can do anything for me. My body is in a certain state that is not stitchable anymore. Well, that's too bad for you. I agree. In a past life, I would...

absolutely have used your establishment. We are visiting your wonderful town for the first time and we are looking to learn a bit more about its workings and it's the head of the town, Frank Einstein. Frank Einstein. Oh, yeah. Great guy. Learned a lot from him. What is your relationship to that individual?

Contemporary, I guess you could say. You know, one-time apprentice. Now we can stand shoulder to shoulder in our work. I'm sure you've seen my work all around town. I've noticed that the majority of the work seems to be a lot of attachment via stitching. Do you ever do removal of certain body parts permanently? Oh, sure. Absolutely. Any of your friends here looking to get rid of an arm? I'll give you good money for it. I had a friend that was wondering if they could remove all the skin of their body.

Have you ever done that exactly before? Oh, yeah, sure. Clever. I say that out loud. Thank you. Oh, who are you? Shami turns and looks at you. Hey there, Chipainy. I want to shake every five of your hands. All five arms come out for handshakes and then hugs. Firm grips. Wow, look at that. Hey, I got a tail. Can I put a hand on my tail? Oh, yeah, we can do that. Really? You want it to be able to grab things?

Yeah! Oh yeah, here, let's take a look here. They're going to be kind of like a monkey. That's my monkey impression! Are you done with the sickness?

That's the William Shatner version of that song. What kind of hand are you looking for? Ideally, I'd like some either color matching or something fun. You know, I'm purple, so if it's green, that'd be kind of cute. Purple. How many digits? A little complementary color. Let's go for at least five. I want it to be able to hold a dagger so I can stab someone in their back while I'm giving them a hug.

Do you have a hand you'd prefer me to use or would you like me to look through my inventory? What do you got? What do you got? Let's see. He pulls out a giant book and begins flipping through it. Let's see what I got here in stock. How about an ape paw? Ape paw. It's not going to be purple. It'll be a little furry. Do I need to shave it? Is it going to spread to the rest of my tail? It won't spread, but it'll probably grow back. Careful about the monkey's paw. What? There's always an oval. We can get it for you. Let's see.

Let's see. The surgery base price, 35 gold. Adding a paw. Do the paw. We'll give you a discount. You got a good handshake here. I got one here. It's still good. We can probably get that done for, let's say, let's call it 45 gold. What other paws cans do you got? What's your best one? Top shelf. What's your discount one? No, no. I want the nicest hand, most flexible, best grip, all of that.

Most flexible best grip. Well, let's see. We got Ape in stock. We got...

Oh, ape's nice. I hear that's nice. That's trendy. The ape was the first one. Are you listening at all? Yes, of course. Okay. We got Sphinx. Sphinx. Oh, exotic. Nice. That's all I got in stock right now. If you bring back something, of course, I'd be happy to. Oh, God. You know what? I'm going to keep my eyes open for a green hand. I really want a green hand. Do you know a gentleman named Weegor by any chance? Weegor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do. Does he have hands? No.

Does he have hands? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Igor does have hands. What color hands? Color? Yeah. Are they green? And really asking me specific questions. Igor has four hands, actually. He wears gloves lots. He could spare one of those. Yeah. Okay. Let's get you one of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. We should progress the narrative. Do you... Eddie! Yeah. Is there any chance that you keep documentation of previous customers to, I don't know, keep a record? No.

- Oh, like some kind of log or something? - Sure. - We have in the past, but some of our customers don't like that. So we, it's not very complete. - You ever heard of FERPA? - FERPA, what's that? - It's, you gotta keep things, you know, non-disclosure and such. - Some of our customers are pretty private about that. - Yeah.

Mateed tries a little something different and takes out a gold coin and slides it across the counter and asks, Does the name Eddie ring a bell at all of your customers? Eddie. Eddie. What does he look like? Skinless. Noticable green veins. Big smile. Big smile. Mean. I can't say it rings a bell. I have had many customers come through asking for something similar to what you're asking about, so it doesn't really stand out too much to me. Hmm.

Why would you think that someone would want that particular procedure to be done? Hey, it's not my place to ask people. Of course not. But you are an expert of the field, and I'm just curious what your opinion is of it. What kind of benefits might it bring to the customer to have their skin removed and green veins? Then you don't have to worry about washing your skin all the time. Yes, it just goes right down your ooey-gooey muscles. And as far as green veins, it could be their, whoever you're asking about, it could be their blood is green. Wow.

Who might have green blood? Oh, all kinds of folks. It really depends on your ancestry. Mm. Mateed tries to think about what Mateed remembers of creatures with green blood. Can I check for that? Yeah, make a wisdom check. What color is Chip's blood? You want me to find out? I only rolled a five. You only have a vague memory of it, but you know that, you know, beings from other planes sometimes have different colored blood. Oh, area 15 folk. Possibly, yeah. Hmm.

Side question: Why is there so much ash in the air and on the ground in the city? The ash in the air? Well, that's always been there. I can't... I really can't imagine it not being there. I guess it's just part of living here, part of the Mesquite and Charm. Okay, well, can you also tell us about the vaults? I'm just so fascinated by these and, you know, what they do.

Oh, yeah, that's all thanks to Frankenstein. He invented that, you know. What are they? The volts? Yeah. It's power that's transferred down here so that we can run equipment like these lights you see. Oh, so, okay. Maybe in the future they call it electricity. That's such a big word. Volts does sound cool. I'm trying to think of anything else to get from this encounter. I don't want an extra hand. Oh, God.

Barn, it's okay. I didn't remember he was right behind you. Perhaps, Bonnie, you would like to help Chip with his procedure. Yeah, okay, but I don't want one. Okay, you won't get one. I'll take the extra hand. That way, when people are saying, hey, Chip, can you give me a hand? I'll say, which one? And I'll have three.

Mateed is again questioning why they are traveling with these oddities. Side note, I will be cutting off someone's hand. I'm joking. If I can find a green hand, it's happening. Gotcha. Mateed pulls the party aside for a sidebar. I do not know anything else that we can glean from this establishment, but I'm quite curious to check out this windmill where the volts are coming from. Yeah, there's also the tinker till.

Thinkerspiel. Might as well. Rule of threes, hit up all the shops. Okay. In the eastern gate at some point. Yeah. Let's go. Let's... Zen, let's go to Zatinko. Before we leave, is anyone currently being worked on by Shammy? Is there anyone in the shop there? You don't see anyone else. I don't see anyone else. No. Before we go, I say, hey, Shammy, hold up them hands. And then I...

Give him a high five. All five? That's a high 25? There it is! Hey, I'll be back for that hand. You got it. You want to take a lollipop? Absolutely! Yo opens up the jar that was there next to the bell. Feel free. Everyone can take one. Green apple? What is it? My blood sugar's a little low. Did you say blood? Green apple. No, no, no. Try one. You'll like it. Okay.

Stick it in my mouth. I'm a trusting person. Yeah, you take a lick of the lollipop and the lollipop screams when you lick it. It's an ice cream.

Matches the voices in my head. Now it's actually in your head. Mmm. What's the flavor? The flavor is... Ice scream? Existential dread. Yeah, the flavor is green. The flavor is green. I'm gonna take a couple more. Shami, can I take a couple more? Only if you promise to come back and get some work done. Hey, you know it. I'm gonna take three if that's okay with you. That means you have to get three works done. Okay.

See you later, Jamie. Which way do the signs point to the Tinker Spiel? That should be south from where we are. Yeah, correct. You all passed it. You did see it, so you know where it is. It's just a couple blocks south from here. Let's just do the full tour, okay? We'll check out this whole place. Oh, yeah. Who do you think you... Hey, who are you people? Yeah, you're not the only one who can do that. Mom, Dad? Tinker. Sorry, I meant to speak like this. Mike and Linda?

Let's head to the Tinker. I'm going to add three screaming lollipops to my inventory. You walk a little to the south, and you go back to the building that has the neon sign that says Anton's Tinker Spiel. What's in here? And Barney goes in. I really do like Barney's sense of wonder. Barney walks in. Matide recognizes an opportunity and holds Elga and Chip back.

just to see what Barney does. Okay. Barney walks in alone. So Barney, you're the only one that sees this. It appears to be a quaint toy shop lined with shelves and shelves of handcrafted toys that are infused with vaults. Everything here looks like has lots of really fine detail worked into it. In fact, the light fixtures themselves are crafted to look like glowing windmills. And you see an employee who seems to be like cleaning off some of the shelves. Oh.

Hi, I'm Barney. This is quite the place. He turns around with a little bit of a start and you realize that this employee has two heads. One of them addresses you and says, Oh, hi there. We're Anton. What can we do for you? Well, you've got two heads, I see. You know what they say, two heads are better than one. The second head turns and looks at the other one and says, You always say that. What's your favorite toy? Pfft.

that you've got around here. My favorite toy is right here, the hide-and-seeker doll. I knew you would say that. That's the dumbest toy we have. Best toy's a storm sled. What's the difference? Well, one's a doll and one's a sled. They're two different toys. Um, they move all about on their own, huh?

We're just gonna wait outside. I like this. I like this. I am enjoying my time right now. I John M. You see, here the Hide and Seekers doll, it's a hand-stitched doll that we can customize to look like whoever you want. And it loves to find new friends. Wow. Yeah, that toy's terrible. You see, the Storm Stud is a dome-shaped sled. It protects your dome when you're on the slopes. What?

How much are those? We're having a special on the Hide and Seeker doll. It's only 25 gold, but the storm sled over there is 50 gold.

We ain't got money like this yet. Yeah, you're right. None of us have money. I forgot about you punks. No, nobody has money. I was like, why was Chip so curious about this? Like, no way he's got money. I forgot you little... I'm saving up for a procedure. I gotcha. I've only got 14 gold. 14 gold? What are you? Some no good kid with no money? Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Bernie, which one do you want? You're outside. You're outside. Okay. You can go in. I really like this place. I appreciate your help. Do you know why I'm here?

We presume you want to buy a toy? No, I don't have the money. Okay, bye-bye. Okay, bye-bye. Well, that was a neat adventure. Give us a recap, Barney. Did you get any information out of them? Yeah, we were looking for some suspects. What's any leads? Yeah, they had a sled and a hat. Those are the two same toys, I believe. Yes. Anything else? Well, one of them helps as a seeker and...

And we could get that, and then that might seek for us. That's not a bad idea. Okay. Matita addresses Barney. How much was that toy? Oh, well, it was more than I have. Do you remember how much it was? I think it was 25 gold. Okay. And what did it do? Tell us in very good description, very detailed, what this toy does. What did it look like? What kind of materials? Well, it was a...

I think it was a little boy and it sought things. So this is a toy or this is a customer? I'm not exactly sure. It could have been a little toy customer. If we split the cost of this toy, maybe we could purchase it. It could help us with our search. You have all my gold. It's 14. It's my life savings.

I give him six gold. Well, that's not enough. No, it's not. So I give him eight. How much do you have total now? How much more do you need? Well, he's gotten 14 for me and whatever his share is of it. Wait, 14? No, 14 total. Plus your 14 if you give in all of your money. I give him more, though, because, you know, he's poor. Yeah, I'll give you five gold as well.

Social Security didn't come in and do their job. So 33, you gave me 5? I gave you 5, yeah. Alright. Well that's... Oh! I'm gonna go back! I send him back in. Go get him, Tiger! You got this. Hi, I'm Bart- Wow! This is an amazing- Yes! The two heads of Anton look at each other. And they look back at you.

Well, that's two heads you have there. Well, you know what they say. Two heads are better than one. You always say that. Oh, what do you got here? We have all kinds of toys. A hide-and-seeker doll, sparkle marbles, rocking warg, storm sled. Mmm.

And what's that little seeker doll? Hide and Seeker? Yeah, it's a little hand-stitched doll. Will make it look just like you. Loves to find new friends. Can I get one of those but make it look like a man with no skin and green?

Why does it matter what it looks like? Well, is he here? Can we take a look at him so we know how to make it? No. That's what we're struggling with, is we don't know where he is. Well, this will help you find him. Ooh. Okay. I'll tell you what, we can make this doll look just like you. Okay. And when you whisper the word seek and throw it, it'll seek out whoever you're looking for within 120 feet of you. Whoa.

Oh, that's it? Ooh.

It's a good toy. This is not a good toy for kids. Heat-seeking missile. It only works once. After that, it becomes an ordinary doll. I'll take four. Four? Okay. That's 100 gold. Oh, my. I'll take one. Okay. 25 gold. The storekeeper doesn't seem to be moving anymore. They just have their hand out. They're waiting for the cold. One, two, three. They count someone at a time.

How many times do you have to restart? Yeah, when does he drop them all and mess up? Oh, shoot. I have exact change. I'm going to pay 25 gold in copper pieces. Yeah.

All right, I pay. Okay, Anton takes the 25 gold from you and very quickly and deftly starts modifying the Hide and Seek doll to look like you. It's kind of amazing to watch because even though his hands are made of hooks, he operates very quickly on the doll and then hands it off to you. It looks just like you, Barney. It's even got a little walker, just like you have. Wow. Well, this is neato. And don't forget, the magic word you have to whisper to it is seek. Okay. Okay.

See you later.

Chris is killing it this episode. That was good. All right. Bye-bye. All right. And then Barney leaves. Oh, there we go. Yeah. Barney walks back outside and rejoins the rest of the party. And he's got a little doll that looks just like him. Oh, a baby Barney. Yeah. And it's all thanks to you guys. So it's a little doll that looks like an old man, like Benjamin Button style kind of situation. Just a little. It's a little Barney doll. Okay. It's a Barney doll. With the walker and everything? You know.

We should, like, franchise these and call them Barneys. Do you think we should also go in the store in case the old man here might not have seen or asked the questions we need to ask these people? I trust Barney with my life. Okay, moving on. This doll will get us exactly what we need.

Within 125 feet. 120. So, no, you don't know that. According to Barney, who just told you for the first time you've ever heard that. I know that in Dungeons & Dragons, 125 feet, not typically you.

I don't know what this is, but it's my good friend Barney who I trust and really like. Who you gave a bunch of money to. Yeah. Hey, Barney. Yeah. My wife Carol's been missing for a while. Oh, no. Can you seek out Carol? Uh, he goes to the doll. No, Barney. Matita puts, uh, grabs the doll. What?

Why? It's a one-time use. Grabs the doll. But what if the person's not there? Grabs the doll. This is my life mission. I gotta find my wife. Keep talking all you want. I've got the doll. I'm trying to find my life mission, too. No, I'm trying to find my wife. No, I'm trying to find my life mission. No, it's two different things, but we can align and help each other. If you look, you can actually see Elga and Mateet already walking towards the windmill. Oh, better hurry.

As you finish up your conversation here, a hunchback humanoid covered in scars and stitches wearing a cloak is walking down the street. He seems to be walking along with several wargs. How many hands has this guy got? He's got four. He sees you all, makes eye contact, and walks straight over to you. Oh. We know who this is. Oh, visit us.

Visiting mascot then are you? Uh, how do you know we're visitors and not residents? Kind of a hunch. I am meeting you all for the first time. Hello, nice to meet you. My name's Vigor. We have not met yet, so I have not collected the Voltstax from you yet. So that'll be 10 gold each, please. He sticks out two of his hands. 10 gold each, please, to pay the Voltstax.

What's a vote tax? It helps pay to maintain the votes for all of Mascatan. You guys can enjoy while you're here.

Well, I don't have to. Oh, we're here. We're broke, Wegor. Can I shake your hand? Elgo wants to do bite of sucking on Wegor. What? You just gonna go for a bite? She tripped all the ash on the ground. It's everywhere. Escalation. Roll to hit, I guess. Should get advantage, right? 22. Ooh. While his hands are out, maybe he's not paying attention or he's not defending.

defending himself, you very quickly with super speed latch on. Where do you bite? Do you have to bite like a specific place or how does that count? I don't think I do. Let me bite his hand that's sticking out. Like you're shaking his hand and you lean in. I just go face first into his hand. I found it. I want to play it off as I trip though. Oh, okay. In that case, do deception. We'll hop right in on this roll. Do you have a dice?

So you quote unquote trip and fall mouth first onto Wegor's hand. Fang first. Fang first onto Wegor's hand and latch on. You let go of her. Does it do damage? Yeah, it does. Should I roll damage? Yeah. I seen that hit. Yeah, yeah, it does hit. All right, it did seven piercing damage.

Igor lets out a loud scream as you latch on and bite his hand. Ow! What are you doing? Get him! And six his wargs on you guys. Everyone go ahead and roll initiatives. Ha ha ha!

It's been a while since we've tested, you know, will Gus just have us fight this person if we attack them? I was confused because your name is Wegor. I thought you wanted gore. You know, we love gore kind of situation. That's a stretch, Elga. Now we're in a fight with the locals. It's called subterfuge, Elga. You gotta be more careful. I rolled 12. 10. 8.

20. Ba-da-bing. Weegor, like I said, instructs the wargs to attack you. As they draw closer, one of the wargs goes first and takes a bite at Chip.

A bite? Yeah, it's a warg. It's kind of like a big wolf. Oh, okay. Gotcha. I didn't know what it was. Think of the things that the orcs rode on in Lord of the Rings. Yeah. I die. My blood is on your hands, Elga. And not in the kind of way that you want. No, no. Hitting AC 19. Yeah, that's a hit. The warg lashes out to bite you. And as it's about to bite you, Frankenstein and the alchemist show up.

Oh, thank God. Stop, stop. What is the meaning of this? What's going on here? I slipped and fell. I'm just a child. The ash is very crumbly under my feet. You notice Frankenstein's face is actually two faces stitched together from top to bottom. One of the faces speaks and says, No fight here now. Fight bad. We agree. We were not...

Start fight. You will have to excuse my friend. She is from a different part of our great place. And her customs and traditions are a bit different. I can't.

Sel, Matide, remember? Different generation. She's one of them TikTokers, you know, the kids and their phones. I am attempting a different deception since the first one did not work. For Vigor. So you're going to roll for deceiving Frankenstein? He wasn't there. Frankenstein and the alchemist just seem confused in general. Vigor, what is happening? Oh, nothing. Just walking around with the war, that's all. That's not true. You tried to take the tax.

He did ask us for 10 gold each. It was a bit of a shakedown. Tax? What tax? Volt tax. Volt tax. You haven't paid your volt tax? Igor says there's a volt tax. Yeah, everybody pay their volt tax. 10 gold. 10 gold?

I don't know what they're talking about. I was just walking the wards. No, no, no. You said 10 volt tax because you gotta pay the outsiders because they gotta pay for the masketin. Dr. Frank kind of narrows his eyes, seemingly angry with Vigor. We're going to talk about this later. Oh, we got him in trouble. Uno reverse. Way to go, Elga. Good bite, good bite. The alchemist steps in and says, As you all can see, luckily I found Frankenstein here safe and sound.

It seems he's not at all worried about Eddie.

No. Stein protects Frank Frank. Stein has big arms. He starts patting his biceps. Come feel big arm. I go give him a feel. Elga goes to feel too. Yeah. Oh yeah, very strong. Huge biceps. Wow. Look at these. Elga hangs off of it as he lifts his arms. What are these? 21 inch pythons? Stein laughs. Oh, these are so thick and full of blood probably. Stein, Stein, stop showing off. They get it.

Why is Eddie not a problem? Stein protects Frank Frank. Oh, Eddie is not a problem because Stein will protect from Eddie. Yeah. Okay. So does that mean they're afraid of Eddie as well?

Eddie's bad here in addition to where he came from? Yeah, do you guys know who Eddie is? I explained all about Eddie to Frankenstein and about the impending danger of what we encountered in Atro City. Can I pull the alchemist to the side and ask him just a quick question away from them? Sure. Can I say, does he know that we're on the run for potentially killing the Wolfmen even though it wasn't us? Doesn't have to know that. I mean, we didn't do it.

Sure, sure. But I just want to make sure. Yeah, we're fine. Okay. Well, we didn't do it. You, on the other hand, don't know us, am I right?

Where would you get here, Elga? This is a one-on-one. She's just so small. Did you see my fence when you walked in? Yes, we did. Wonderful. It collates phonological discharges from atmospheric disturbances and siphons an extraction of volatile currents into carefully configured circuitry throughout the civic community providing Mascatanites an influx of volts to utilize at their own leisure for illuminators and other implementer apparatuses.

It's really quite simple. Even Vigor gets it, don't you good lad? Oh yes master. The wargs bark excitedly. Oh, well you all are looking quite confused. Perhaps I should explain it again? No, we are okay. The Voltax is a bunch of bull hockey then? I am not aware of any Voltax.

Interesting. What kind of creature is Uyghur? Uyghur is a... Four-armed Abom. Three-armed Abom. Four-armed. He's got three wargs. Yeah, he's also an Abom. Just then, you hear a thunderous explosion clatter from the sky. Danger, Frank, Frank, danger. No, no, Stein, settle down. It's probably just the windmill. And then you hear a loud roar.

You look up into the gray skies, but all you see are ashen flakes floating to the ground. A blazing inferno of purple flame rains down from the sky. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. This is one I could see, right? Yeah, your danger sense wouldn't apply here. Seven. Okay, well, I rolled a nat 20, but I'll do it again. Bye, Barney. Uh-uh. 21. 13.

Mateed and Elga roll sufficiently. Barney and Chip, you're a little too low. And some of that purple flame hits you. I'm a tiefling, so I have resistance to flame. Oh, okay. So that means you would take half of the fire damage then. Aha!

So the fire damage is 14 points of fire damage. Half if you save. Oh my goodness. I just saw Chris's face change drastically.

What percentage of Barney's life are we looking at being gone here? Well, if there were 17%, I'm down 14%. Thank you for that vague answer. We'll never know exactly. Hey, you in the audience, if you were able to decipher that answer, please let us know on social. That's Dinky Dragon Pot. Out from the clouds swoops a massive winged creature made of barbed black bones blazing with purple flame. I know you're here.

You spineless spore. Show yourself. Mateed, go talk some sense into your friend. Your undead bird friend. Can I ask Frankenstein who they're looking for? I don't know. It is a huge skeletal looking dragon made of black spiny bones set ablaze by purple flames. I'm just elaborating because I know you all were confused about what it is exactly. You know I'm looking for you, Frankenstein.

I know you stole the crystal, you thieving scum. Mateed does like the subtle sidestep away from Frankenstein. Oh, look at this over here in this area. The longer you hide, Frankenstein, the more I burn. Then the giant skeletal dragon begins blowing fire at different buildings and parts of the town. Oh my. What?

What's Frankenstein doing right now in this situation? I'll tell you what, make me an insight check, Elga. Oh, a 20. You feel like when he said that he didn't know who the dragon was looking for, that he's not being entirely honest. You think maybe he's hiding something. A bit of deception. Do you know this gentleman up here in the sky, Mr. Frankenstein? No, I thought dragons were extinct. Well, he clearly knows you, so...

One of you is not telling the truth. As you're talking to Dr. Frank, you know, it seems like Stein's face is getting angrier and angrier, and he's distracted. He's not looking at you, he's looking up at the dragon. Before he can even answer you, Elka, Frankenstein suddenly jumps out, waving his arms in the air. I hear flying lizard. Come get me, I know scared. And raises his fists up angrily in the air. And with lightning speed, the winged serpent dives at Frankenstein and lands next to him with a thunderous crunch.

The creature's black skeletal frame pulses with purple flames. There you are, you cowardly Cretan. Where is the crystal? I know have crystal, lizard. Now you leave. How dare you speak to Skelegon this way. I will only ask you once more. Where is the crystal?

No crystal, only death. This one may be a fool, but perhaps you are not.

If you ever want to see Frankenstein again, you will return the crystal to me in the Eastern Snarelands.

You have one day. Do you understand? What's the crystal? What's the... No. Get out of here. You're starting fires. We gotta evacuate these buildings. Is it better because in that bread box? Skele-Gon looks at you, Elka. Do not test me, spawn scum, or I will raze this village to the ground. You have one day.

to get you what you want and you want to give me details this skilligan launches into the air and vanishes into the clouds of air

Does anybody know what kind of crystal that is? Dragon, look for any crystal. Volunteer fireman Chip Haney reporting for duty. Let's get these people out of these burning buildings. Move, move, move. Well, you'll have to coordinate your evacuation in the next episode. We haven't that time, Gustavo. They're burning. They're going to burn for another week. We'll put them on pause. They'll still be there when we come back next time. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. And we'll be back next week with another episode.

We are going to be at RTX this year, which might be quite close to when this episode releases. And we're going to be doing some stuff at RTX for our show. And we're also going to do some collaborations with some other role-playing shows like Dungeons and Daddies or Must Be Dice. There's a whole bunch of D&D stuff and podcasts and gaming.

We're doing our best to take over RTX with all D&D content. We figure that's the best. So if you're going to be there, check us out. If you have time to make plans and come see us, I encourage you to do so. July 7th to 9th here in Austin. RTXAustin.com. RTXAustin.com, guys. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger with additional editing work by David Saunier.

Here's a quick shout out to folks that interacted with us on social media recently. Here's some NPCs named after them in this episode. Shamey, the A-bomb surgeon named after user ShameyNay on Reddit. Anton, the A-bomb toy maker named after at Acid198 on Twitter. Jacqueline, the A-bomb barkeep named after at JackalKRArt on Instagram. Also want to give special thanks to some friends who provided voiceover for characters in this episode. The Alchemist voiced by BlizzBear at BlizzBear.

Anton, the A-bomb Toymaker, voiced by Andy Cortez, at the Andy Cortez of Kinda Funny. Jacqueline, the A-bomb Barkeep, voiced by Chloe Naylor, at EchoClo on all social media platforms, including Twitch. Weegore, the Hunchback Henchman, voiced by Jack Patello, at Jack underscore P. Frankenstein, voiced by Ben Ernst, at Halcyon underscore Ben. Skelegon, the Dragon, voiced by Quentin Smith, at Quix underscore 18. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.