Tavern Tales - The Chosen One(s) Ep. 03 - A Rock and A Hard Place
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This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hey friend, grab me a peanut koala with extra hair on the rim and I'll continue our tale. Last time, the Chosen Ones heisted their way into the Cult of Shadows. Despite their best efforts, they managed to not only make it out alive with one of the keys to the Shadow Wing, but also with the poison antidote that keeps Asaphia alive. With the wizard back in business and one of the three keys under their belt, things were looking up.

But unfortunately, no one was looking when Smiley snuck off with the recently acquired key, leaving our heroes in quite a pickle. And pickles are gross.

Welcome to tales the sticky dragon. I'm Chris de Maris. Yeah Maris We got John playing Gus Barb Youth of Janiyah Sawyer During there you go. It was a d1 It's the like you're like the fruit

This is the third of five episodes of this little mini campaign. Are we going to make it? Are we going to get everything we need to do in five? We shall see. Please be sure to share the show on social media with hashtag StinkyDragonPod or at StinkyDragonPod. We actually pulled a bunch of NPCs from the show from people who have posted and promoted the show. We really appreciate it.

Absolutely. And after this little mini campaign, we have another great big campaign where Gus will be back in the DM seat. No. A big bosomy campaign. Stop it. What are you doing? The other day, Blaine was saying how he kind of wishes he kept Sawyer for his main campaign. And I'm like, I'm glad you didn't. I don't know how much I can put up with you

- What's wrong with Soya? - It's your brother. - I know, that's why it's so weird, I think. - Well, before we get any more big bosomy interjections, we'll get going. The morning light spills across Old Boulderae as the groggy city slowly awakens for the day. But nothing is slow about Ossiphe as he paces back and forth in front of the four chosen ones at the smoking barrel. And well, it seems there's quite a lot I don't know about my not so loyal squire Smiley. I don't believe he's in cahoots with the Cult of Shadow.

Doesn't like them one bit. Regardless, he's gone and slipped away with the first key in the Shadowmane, which means I must go after him. Which also means the four of you must obtain the second key before anyone else does. Where is the second key? An excellent question. Is it with Smiley by any chance? Not that I know of. Here is what I do know. The key is rumored to be hidden deep in the Everwinter Woods and is guarded by demonic predators that hunt any adventurers foolish enough to search for it.

But those are rumors, but I know it's in the Everwinter Woods and roughly where it is. Oh, great. Yes. What about them predators? Are these the demonic predators that worship the god Little Jimmy? No, no. The fabled deity of the Everwinter Woods? No, no, no. These are much more powerful and evil deities. Oh, wow. And demons, yes. I don't know too much about those demons, but what I do know is roughly where they're located.

For I had an acquaintance, Marcel the Magical, who told me everything he knew before he retired. Retired? Yes. You said that a bit weird. Yeah, he did.

Everything okay with him? You took a pause there. It was a weighted pause. The look on your face is also saying otherwise. Was he forcibly retired? That's one way to put it, yes. Did he retire from life? Did he retire from breathing? Let's not get into the specifics. Did you retire him? Is he still magical? As if he's a murderer. Did he happen to drop a map of any sorts? A map in my mind.

So just as useful as not having a map at all, I guess. I'm sure he'll be guiding you, Marcel the Magical, on your quest. Now, you should depart as soon as you can, because the Cult of Shadow have already been searching the Everwinter Woods for weeks now and could very well be close to their goal. Oh, no. And the cult will undoubtedly outnumber you, so avoid them at all costs. Unless they have the key, in which case you take it from them. What does the key look like? Well, I've never seen it.

Oh. But I imagine it looks somewhat similar to the other key that you found that the smiley took. Can you remind us of what that looked like in detail? My memory's a little fuzzy from all the fighting and lying. Well, my mind's memory's a little fuzzy from nearly dying of poison, but if I recall, it was a black key with a diamond inlaid in it. I love the black keys. LAUGHTER

The most important takeaway from this, besides taking away the key and returning, is not letting the Cult of Shadows take away the key.

That was so clear. I made so much sense. The best takeaway is to avoid a takeaway. Yeah. Basically, we want to make sure they don't get it. Thank you for translating. Unless they already have it. In which case, I don't know why they'd be running around those everwinter woods. Well, unless they were trying to escape those demonic predators that would be hunting them.

So you haven't quite yet told us where it is. Well, it's in the Everwinter Woods. No, you said you might, you know, like if it's general. Well, I know it's general area, which you'll be able to find. Uh,

But if I hope to catch that Wiley smiley, I must leave immediately. So just to be clear, dear, you're not going to actually tell us information you have in your head because you think that we'll just find it on our own. Well, I know the general region, in which case I'll help you get to the general region. That's all I wanted to clarification. I love the confidence. It's nice to have a mentor really believe in us. Too much. That's why you're the chosen one. I'm fine with that. That's why...

I believe you are the chosen one, and I believe that you can do this. You seem to be looking at all of us at the same time right now. You and Cross-Eye. I would check for Smiley at the bean trade. Or the outhouse. That's probably where he's going to be. Nice. And when you're ready...

All you need to do is throw this blue potion onto the ground. It will take you to the last known location of Marcel the Magical before his, um, retirement. And that should give us roughly the location of the key? Well, it will take you to the rough...

Roughly, yes. Can I grab the potion out of his hand and throw it on the ground? We need a battle for this because I'm grabbing for it. Roll off. Yeah, roll off. D20. Five. You rolled a 15. 15. You guys didn't say you were doing it, so stop rolling dice. We just want to

be part of the conversation. I can see Sawyer and Adeline roll dice as well. Do not gatekeep my sister! As you grab, Asafi poops in a smoke and then appears on the other side of the room. As I was saying. Give me that potion, old man! I reach for it again.

Please, please listen. Be careful. I'd rather not refer to you as acquaintances in the past tense. I'd much prefer you as friends in the future. He doesn't want us to retire. He's not going to Marcel us. Adeline holds out her hand. And he slowly hands you. He poofed away for that? That was like half a sentence. It's more the principle. Now I have to go. And then the wizard bows and rushes out the door.

You could have poofed out. You could have poofed out and you ran out the door? Suddenly, the door opens again and the old lady whose skin is piled in the corner darts back into the room. My goodness, I nearly forgot this. Throw the potion, throw the potion, throw the potion. She hands you a red potion. What does this do? For the return journey. Oh.

Does this take all four of us at the same time? Are we gonna have to be holding hands? It can. Bye-bye. And runs off. I will mount this large horsewoman if necessary. If there is a... Are you talking about Euthygenia? Yes. I think she has a name. Just saying. If the splash zone is only such a small size...

Oh, I got a stroke. The fact that you guys are sitting right next to each other. He is sweating and shaking. But also the fact that you guys are literally inches apart from each other and John is just staring Blaine down in the face as he's trying to go through this. I also love that the first adjective he used to describe you, the Janiyah, is large. Hey, before you go. Who's that? Before you go, can you tell me where I am?

And you look in the corner and it's the gargoyle that came with you. Oh, that was latched onto his arm. He's no longer on my arm. Throw the potion. Just throw the potion. We don't need to deal with this. You're in Mother Ella's new residence. Be quiet. Who's Mother Ella? Stay in the corner. Wait. Do your job. Who am I? Gary, you are Gary the gargoyle. Oh. Do you have any friends or a family? I have no memory of...

I don't remember anything after there's a flash of light and then everything would that's it. Do you want to see another flash a lot? Smashes on the ground and from it a blast of hot steam and the strong smell of vinegar. Ooh on the wooden floor

Why are you excited about that? Oh, okay. Someone peed their pants. Is that what your pee smells like? Vinegar? You might have to go to the doctor. That's the healthy urine. That's what it smells like. He keeps telling himself. Well, it smells like vinegar, but on the wooden floor is not vinegar, but a blue liquid that pools together into one large blob like mercury. Lights from the room bounce off.

Lights from the room bounce off the substance's mirror-like surface, dancing blue and violet onto the walls. When you lean in closer to the liquid, instead of your reflection looking back at you, you see massive tree trunks rising to a forest canopy.

Everwinter Woods. Easter eggs. Could I try to touch it? You touch it, your finger sinks through it. I do a cannonball into it. You see Durin disappear and not return. Do we not see him through the little ooze? Like waving on the other side? You see some blurriness and the ooze kind of like ripples like water and by the time it settles, you don't see anything. Is there a big splash? No, it doesn't splash. After you, brother. I crawl in on all fours.

Like a possum. Like a buzzy... Approaching a trash can. Like a large... Buss... buxom... No... Horsewoman. She's far more graceful than a possum. I... I guess I'll stay here. Alright, Gary, you have a good one. Bye. Adeline goes through the ooze as well. It was such a sad sigh.

Okay. Blue Skidoo, we can too use the Genetico, sir. Durin, you sink into the blue goo and a second later shoot up toward the forest canopy of the Everwinter Woods before falling to the ground. Do I stick the landing? You can roll for athletics to see if you land gracefully. Uh.

Let's make this super graceful. 12. That's the most graceful landing anyone's ever seen in their life. I don't think it is. I think the numbers go higher. I'm pretty sure they do. It's impossible to go higher than 12. What's this, 20 next to the D in your roll? Don't look at this. Durant, you land on your feet, but barely, and kind of stumble. Come on. It's impressive, but not graceful.

A second later... We weren't through yet. But I know. A second later, Sawyer crawls through the ooze, followed shortly by Adeline and Yuta Janaya, who simply walk through the goo. Everyone's feet swing up in the air, and each of you land softly on your backs on the fourth floor of the Everwinter Woods. Ooh, spooky. Ooh.

I sense a lot of tragedy has happened here in the past. I check around for, uh, and make sure there's no, uh, traps nearby. Do an investigation or survival check? Uh, I'll stick with investigation. It's more my speed. Eleven. It's perfectly safe. You're really trying to sell these sour rolls. Yeah.

You don't see any traps. You're just in a small forest clearing and just giant trees of the forest all around you. Well, I suppose we should just pick directions and say that that man did not give us any further instructions. I'll shout out, Marcel! I think he's dead. All you hear is the tweeting of birds. Marcel has turned into a bird.

Boy. Isn't the potion that we smashed supposed to take us to his last location? Mm-hmm.

Well, then, uh... Start digging? Can we investigate the area to see if there's any traces of Marcel? You can do a survival check. Survival? What are we surviving? Well, survival is like looking for tracks or like... 17. Ooh. Much better than Dorian. Hey, I was looking for traps. With a 17...

So maybe it's your time studying. I'm passing away. Maybe it's your time reading about crimes and, you know, some ivy and weeds on the ground that are growing slightly more

skewed as if they've been stepped on. It's almost a trail and it seems to be extending north and south, though the growth of the plant suggests that the direction most recently traveled is to the north. Longest description ever if you found tracks. We're going to the north. Okay, so I see two sets of tracks.

One to the north and one to the south. Yeah. We're splitting up. No. Last time we did that, it was a headache. Perfect. But okay, so by my logic, it was the wizard that went and then the bad guys came. Shadow. Shadows, right? Or Marcel's going back and forth between two locations. A home...

and a place for food? I guess it wouldn't make sense that the Church of Shadow would have landed wherever he was. So yeah, do you want to do the most recent tracks then? Yeah, let's go north. I always go north. Is that going to be your thing? You

You follow the trail for a few miles, the forest seemingly never ending, until the unmistakable smell of death fills your nose. In the distance, you spot what was once a battleground, but now an open grave with the remains of several shadow cultists. Vinegar and death. Could we inspect the bodies? Yeah, do an investigation check. Fourteen. Fourteen.

With 14, based upon the decomposition, you can infer the cultists likely died several days ago, maybe even a week. What's interesting though is many of the bones are broken and kind of protrude upward. And the dirt around them is flattened as if a heavy object crushed them.

So basically we could infer that they were crushed to death. I look up. You just see trees above you. Giant metal square. So the bones are broken, but they're all pointing up. Well, as if like something smashed them. Smashed and kind of like... Do they have anything valuable on them? Weapons, money?

No, not... Jewels? No. Keys to the Shadowmane? Unless you consider broken bones valuable. Not in this economy. Not like I used to. But leading away from the battle, you see several heavy indentions in the ground.

Do you want to proceed with your previous more subtle path or follow the deep indentations? Deep indentations. Or whatever Barb was about to say. I was about to be like, I'd prefer to avoid getting fishy smashy right away. Valid point. Let's go your direction. Okay. We'll follow the chosen one. Okay.

Can y'all kind of describe your order and kind of how y'all are progressing through the forest? I'll take point. Sulking in the shadows. Unseen. What? Skulking. Why are you sulking? What's wrong with you? Where are you?

I'll take point looking for looking for traps and making sure we're not going to get surprised by anything. Yeah, I'll take the rear. No, I will take the rear.

I will watch your back usage and I'll go in the front. Duren, if you want to be taking point and being stealthy, can you do a stealth check for me? I absolutely can. 17, the greatest roll ever made. It's not bad. That was good. I don't know if it's greatest, but it's good. It's pretty good. It's only a 20-sided die. Duren, you're a good bit a ways ahead of the others, and you're navigating through the forest unnoticed.

pretty well and you hear splashes of water? I hold my fist up for the group to stand and freeze in position tactically behind me. Nice. Do y'all do that? Uh, Adeline fist bumps Jern. You got it, little buddy. Yeah, you hear splashes of water and Jern, you creep a little further and maybe laughter?

You continue to follow the sounds and discover a small pond with a stumpy rock creature. Imagine a creature made up of stones that appears to be magically held together to form a body.

It's only about four feet tall, and the majority of its height and mass is from its giant, bobbly head, which is just a big, oblong rock. Does this rock creature's buttocks match the prints that were in the ground? It seems like there could have been prints, like heavier little prints in the area, but it definitely doesn't seem to match the big prints that...

That went the other direction. You know, a question for you. Being an expert in babies, you think this is a baby? I've not had experience with children like this. You never give birth to one of these rock babies? You know, there's a first time for everything. You can continue to observe it or you want to charge forward? I don't want to charge forward. Who said charging? Definitely keep observing. Let me ask. What is the demeanor of it? Is that it's laughing? It's enjoying its time? Well, it's laughing.

You heard laughter. We hear laughter. Can we see it, though? I would say Durin from the front can see it. If y'all continue, you might be able to see it. I'll start pantomiming to them. The shape of a giant rock with a small body playing and laughing in the water. He seems to be doing the YMCA. So Durin, you observed the creature. It's hopping to and fro and appears to be...

fighting the reeds sticking out of a pond and uh like playfully fighting yeah it seems to be almost like maladroit punches and then an awkward kick and the momentum of which actually causes the creature to lose balance and plunk into the water of the creek hold on i gotta google maladroit bungling or clumsy yeah gross he's having a great time he's having fun not missing a beat the little guy stands back up laughing he returns to the shore of the pond and uh

picks up a lifeless smiling rock from the ground. Smiling rock? A rock with a smile kind of carved into it. Okay. Did you see how high that kick was, Jotun? Wham, bam, bam, wham. All right, your turn. Don't be scared, Jotun. Go! And the golem tosses the rock at the reeds and it sinks into the ground. I'll start waving the rest of the party up. Yeah, we proceed up there. Everyone roll stealth. Do I need to re-roll stealth or am I still good? You're fine. Okay.

I rolled an 11. 15. Well, I told you, 17 was the greatest roll ever. You're able to get to where Durin is. Do you want to proceed further? Yeah, uh, Euthygenia observes this little golem and walks, and like kind of, uh, walks towards him. As you get closer, the creature hears you approach, and it turns its massive head to your direction.

And then suddenly whatever magic that held them together vanishes and the stones fall with a and roll away lifelessly. You have destroyed the little rock boy. We should be on the lookout for a lot of large boulders and rocks because that's probably its mama. I mean, possibly, but I've not seen a golem crumble like that. Can I look around to see if there's someone hiding or invisible? It's like casting magic that caused it to stay together. Yeah, you can do an investigation.

Five. You don't see anything. Yeah. Where'd everyone go? Your eyes are closed. I'd like to approach the pile of rocks of where that little golem was and observe anything about them that seems odd. Are they just regular rocks now? Is there something, like, about them? Anything magical?

Actually, you know what? I'll be more specific. I cast Detect Magic near the rocks. Ooh. You cast Detect Magic, and radiating from the rocks is magic. Not all the rocks in the area, but definitely it seems like a select few, probably the ones that all kind of rolled from where he collapsed. It's still present there, and it's still very much imbued with magic. Okay. The force surrounds us. With that in mind... Bonds us together. If Sawyer is quite done...

I guess I'll try to... Deary, don't worry. It's nothing to be afraid. My name is Euthygenea, and I was wondering if you'd like to talk to me for a bit. You see a couple of the rocks twitch and then stop. They were thinking about it. Can I start demonstrating my kicks into the reeds as well? Like, look, I'm Durin, and I can kick. Yeah, do some athletics.

Athletics check. It's a two. You want to sell it? Yeah. I kick up mightily and pull my groin and fall over into the water. I would say your kick almost exactly mirrors the kick that the little golem did that swept him into the water and you could plunk into the water right in the reeds. And then suddenly a rock head perks up and is like, wow! Wow!

Those moves were incredible. Yeah, just like a plant. And it stops and realizes it shouldn't be talking and then goes limp again. Well, come now, little one. You can talk to us. We're not strangers. And then I start kicking around too. You start kicking. Behold! Do an athletics check. 13. I would say these half-decent punches and kicks. You don't end up flopping into the water at least.

That's so cool. And then the biggest rock seems to be kind of like looking around, sizing y'all up. Are y'all warriors? Yes. Wow. Mighty warriors. We're actually the chosen ones. Wow. The rock seems to like start coming together. Me too.

I'm a warrior too. Oh, wow. Can you show us a cool move? Yeah. And it fully forms into a little golem. It's like, ha, hee, ho. And it's like just doing like the worst karate you've ever seen. He's skanking. Adeline starts clapping. Yeah, thank you. And here, this is my friend. And he goes in, he dives into the water and pulls out his little, that rock with the face on it. This is Jotun.

He's a rock. Jotun. What would be your name, dearie? Oh, I'm Quincy. Quincy. I'm a golem. How old are you, Quincy? I don't know. Are you on the younger side? Do you have any parents or any siblings or friends around? Well, I'm not a baby.

I'm not one of the babies, but... Clearly not with them karate skills of yours. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a warrior, or going to be a warrior. I'm not allowed to be out at the wall yet, but... At the wall? Is that where the warriors are? Yeah.

You haven't been to the wall? I have not been to the wall yet, and I'd love to see it. I also have a question. Did you perhaps any time recently come across a group of dark, shadowy figures that may have seemed to have ill intent? Like vinegar, urine? Yeah, there's a whole bunch of them. They're at the wall. Show us these pee-pee men, would you? Stop. LAUGHTER

Okay, yeah, come on and then a little golem like wobbles off. All right, I'll follow. Yeah, you'll follow. Wait, did he bring Jotun? Oh, yeah. Okay. All right, just making sure. I was gonna grab Jotun if he hadn't. That's nice. You get an inspiration die for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Quincy leads you through the woods and you come to a cliff that overlooks a ravine. Down below, you see a massive circular wall made up of living trees with boulders, iron, and earth built up 30 feet into the air to fill the gaps between the tree trunks. In the clearing in front of the wall, the ground has been flattened down and lots of weapons, armor, and dead adventurers lay strewn about. While some of this macabre decor has clearly been around for years, there's also quite a few new additions.

Further back, there's an encampment of black tents with what is essentially a small army of shadow cultists. And this is, I assume, on the side with the dead bodies. Well, the dead bodies kind of in between them. Okay. So we're on a cliff overlooking a ravine where a wall is going down the middle of it? Yeah. Imagine like a big circular kind of wall. The ravine is just kind of looking down. It's not like a dam, is it? No, no. It's just like a big circular wall of trees and rocks and things. And then...

Is it as tall or taller than the cliff we're on? Yeah, it's taller. Oh, okay, cool. It's not much of it. It's really kind of like... I was going to say, like, bad strategic positioning for a wall. And the battleground is kind of, like, around a lot of the perimeter of the wall. Then further back is this, like, kind of encampment of shadow cultists. A bunch of the cultists are out, and the majority of them watch from the edge of their camp.

and then half a dozen well-armed soldiers and wizard cultists cautiously march toward the wall. Do they see us at all? No. Y'all are far enough back where they don't see you. And they're walking kind of like away? Yeah. They're like, imagine this. Y'all are overlooking kind of like a siege of a wall. I think we should see how this plays out. Yeah, this is my favorite part. Watch. Tiny circle. As the group...

As a group of cultists near the perimeter of trees, several boulders and chunks of iron suddenly come to life and form giant iron and stone golems. They charge toward the cultists and a battle begins.

Almost instantly, it's clear the golems will win this fight, but the cultists do shoot off various high-level spells. Some bounce off in the effect. Others blast off large chunks of rocks and iron from the golems. When the cultists are no more, the golems return to their positions at the wall and fall to the ground motionless. From afar, you see the cultists huddled together at their camp, planning and strategizing.

Now, Quincy, when you turn from a golem, you know, living rock, and then you, like, your friends over there go back into the wall and then, you know, turn lifeless rocks again, like, what happens to you, like, your spirit? Like, are you like a ghost or, you know what I mean? No, I just lay down. Oh. So you're still in the rocks. What do you mean, in the rock? You are the rock.

I'm just me. Okay. I smell what you're cooking. When you lay down, do you... What happens to you? Oh, I... You're right. Are you still in there? Yeah. Do you go somewhere? No. Okay. Okay. I mean... This is a very existential discussion. Sawyer used to have really bad nightmares as a child. Yeah. He used to wet the bed very frequently. Do you want to talk about that stuff? Does it smell like vinegar? A little bit. He had a very poor diet. Oh.

Meet us on Kombucha. There's not normally so many people here. Normally it's just a few, you know, adventurers. It doesn't matter. But dum-dums always lose to us golems. Yeah, well, we're not dum-dums. Those are the bad guys. We actually do not like those people down there. Oh, okay. Have you ever met anybody named Marcel? But if he was one of the people who tried to get into the wall, then he's probably down there.

Retired by any chance? What's that mean? Oh, it could mean a number of things. Do you happen to know or hear anything about a key? No, I don't know anything about a key. Do you know what a key is? No. Oh, well, that's kind of step one. Are y'all looking for a key? We are, actually. Oh, I don't know what that is. We're trying to keep it away from those bad people you see down there. Well, those bad people are trying to get into our city.

What's your city like, Quincy? You wanna see it? Which- which-

to see it. Would you say that it rocks? Yeah! There's lots of rocks inside. I got a sly smile from John. Alright, well come on. I'm so thankful this guy's very trusting of us. Yeah. Well, we showed off our kicks. It's true. Quincy wobbles through the forest impressively fast with such stumpy legs. It's actually difficult for you to keep up, especially when Quincy plays rock and roll, which means he just discombobulates and rolls down hills. Cool. Reforming at the bottom. It's very cute.

Could Adeline try to do that as well? Yeah, make an athletics check. Five. Well, I would say for the purpose of this...

You roll down the hill. But also in a way that kind of hurts. Yeah. You take one point of damage. That looks fun. Can I try too? Yeah, but I'll say this. Quincy is super impressed. Wow, I've never seen one of you squishy type do that. I didn't think I'd ever do it, but I just wanted to play with you, Quincy. I'm going to give it a shot too.

My God, it's a two. Perfect. That's what you wanted. It's going to work great, Dern. Just tuck and roll. Dern, you start to do a roll, and it's impressive at first how well you're kind of like somersaulting until it's not impressive. And then all of a sudden, you just kind of like hit your head on a rock and then just kind of fall flat. Wow. Just a trail of blood. Wow.

I stick my arm up with a thumbs up while I'm still face down in the dirt. You take one point of damage, but also your running speed's halved for just a few minutes. Awesome. As you kind of wobble. Awesome.

Come on, it's not much further! Yuthachiniah proceeds like a normal person and tries to just keep pace with this little golem boy. The golem runs for until he suddenly stops on the far perimeter of a section of the wall in front of a large boulder. The boulder seems unnoteworthy other than its vaguely bipedal shape. So that's very noteworthy, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this a friend of yours? No. Can you close your eyes?

Sure. Yeah. Sure. Adeline does the thing where she covers her eyes, but she is peeking through her fingers. Roll for deception. Yeah, I actually do that. That's why you're the chosen one.

- Because they're deceptive? Thinking on her feet. - 17. - Okay. - Hey, might be our best roll this entire session. Quincy gives the rock a big hug and then head butts it hard. And the earth begins to shake as a small opening appears in the wall. Okay, y'all can look. He scurries through the opening and gestures for you to follow. - Wow. - Come on, hurry up or you're gonna get squished. - I have no idea how that happened.

Oh, that happened. I-I uh, I'll follow. Me too. Yuthu-Janiyah, do you need assistance getting into this small space because you have quite the girth? Yuthu-Janiyah casts command. Yes!

I don't think you need to cast command on him. Nope, I cast command and I say flee. How do I counter this? You have to roll for wisdom. Wisdom saving throw. DC's 13. That's a one. That's a one. Yeah, so with that command, the target spends its turn moving away from you by the fastest available means. I would...

say since he was already on the other side. He hadn't gone in yet. Yeah, but the fastest available way to flee would be through the hole that he was about to go through. No, no, no. I'm being specific. I stood in front of him specifically to make him flee opposite of the wall. The way I would see, he said he was going towards the wall. He would run in

into the hole. Way to go, Sawyer. You lead the way. My brother's so brave. Leaving Euthygenia on the other side of the wall and it starts to close. She proceeds to make a dexterity check. Four. Oh,

Rest in peace, Yuzuru Niya. Yuzuru Niya is squeezing through the opening as it's starting to close. You take one point of damage, but your tail does get smushed in the rock and it seems to be stuck. Oh, that's just hair. I guess Yuzuru Niya attempts to about face. Mm-hmm.

Hugs the boulder. Well, you're on the other side of the wall now. Right. There's no boulder to hug. Okay. I assume there's still a way to open it to exit the city. So I still try to do what he did to the wall. So you just headbutt the wall? Sure. Roll athletics. Athletics.

15. You headbutt the wall real hard and take... It's all my fault. Four points of damage. Oh, no. What are you doing?

Our friend's tail is stuck in the wall here. I just, I seem to have been caught and I would appreciate some help to get my tail through. That was a hard word to say. Oh, okay. And then he goes over and finds a sharp, jaggedy rock and starts cutting. No, dear, I was asking specifically for you to open the wall. Oh, well. Close your eyes. Yeah, close your eyes. Sure. Close my eyes. I close my eyes. It runs off around a corner, but you don't see and you hear a thump and then the wall opens up.

Okay, I pull my tail through. And then it thumps it again, so it closes back up immediately. I said to hurry. Slow poke. I say, nice one, Quincy. I reach out my hand for a high five. Yeah. Do you get a point of damage by... No, no. My hand. Breaks two of your fingers. Ah!

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This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

This is my home, Rock Hollow. Beyond the wall, if it wasn't enclosed, probably would walk right past Rock Hollow and not even realize it. Everything looks identical to the rest of Everwinter Woods. The only exception are a few suspicious crevices, holes, hollow trees, things like that.

This is a beautiful place. Wow. Thank you. Yeah. What you got in here? Anything special you want to show us? Any keys? I don't know what a key is, but yeah. Where do you want to go? You could show your little rock cave or the cave of strength or the garden of life. Or you could see my new pet. Yeah, we love pets. Yeah. Right, everyone? Yeah. Show us the pet. Yeah. Quincy darts forward to a little stream that runs through the area. It's like...

look, here he is, and pulls out a lobster made of rocks, a rock lobster. It's my friend. What was it? It's a rock lobster. It was like no veil of a joke there. He literally just told us it's a rock lobster. Rock lobster. Does he have a name, this rock lobster? This is Oi Boy Greg. Oi Boy Greg? Oi Boy Greg. Oi Boy Greg.

He's a really nice little lobster. What's special about him? He's a rock lobster. A rock lobster! Yeah! Do you want to see Little Rock Cave? The Garden of Life? The Cave of Strength? I think Garden of Life sounds interesting to me. Sure.

Take us to the garden and play. Yeah, girl and wife. Okay. Bye, boy, boy, Greg. Rock lobster. Shortest lived NPC of the entire show. It's almost as you walk away. By one of our people. As you walk away, the little rock lobster seems to be like dancing. Oh, it's like it moved. That's cool.

Quincy takes you to a large granite rock in the center of Rock Hollow. Yeah, this is where the Garden of Life is. It's the most sacred place in all of Rock Hollow. But they don't normally allow us younger golems inside. What makes it so special?

It's where golems... It's where... I don't know. I'm not allowed inside. Would you say it's like a church? I don't know if it's like a church. It's where... Perhaps a low shack? It's the place where we're born. We can get together. Beef it. Oh. This is where... Is this where you were born, little guy? Yeah. Well, inside. Oh. Oh.

I didn't realize rocks worked that way. Yeah. Like, hmm. Anybody? Learn something every day. Why aren't you allowed inside? Well, they just, it's mostly for the elders. Oh, it's like their own private Idaho? Well, it's just sacred. You know, Quincy, we haven't seen any other residents of this town. Would we get into trouble if they were to see you escorting us around? Maybe.

What's your standing like in this village? Would you be able to calm them down or would they squish us to death? Well, I stand about this tall. Okay. Oh, we're all going to die. Do you want to roll for perception or anything? Sure. I am concerned that I'm really going to do it. What are you doing? Thirteen.

You notice some dust kind of hidden in some dirt that there might be something written on the granite wall. Ooh. Could you read it? I'll try to. Yeah, if you kind of like brush it off, you can kind of make out lettering. Okay. And it reads, the garden of life lies between a rock and a hard place. All right. Thanks for listening, everyone. Gus out.

So if this is the rock, where's the hard place? Well, it's lots of places. Lots of hard places. So I wonder if this is, if the ground is supposed to be the hard place. Is this a puzzle? So the boulder is supposed to move and then that's the garden way. Is it a puzzle or is it just a dumb pun? It's probably a dumb pun. I'm like, okay, so you can't, you're not allowed in the garden of life, correct? Correct.

Well, yeah. I mean... Did they say we're not allowed? Elder Zacian said I'm really hard-headed, but not hard-headed enough to visit the Garden of Life yet. Oh, hard place. Hard-headed. Wonder if that has anything to do with it. Should we go check another place? Why don't you show us the Cave of Strength? Okay. Also, while we're walking to the Cave of Strength, may I use one action to channel Preserve Life? It's an ability I have as an action. I can restore 10 HP. It's a trait that I...

that I have. So I'd like to restore my HP as an action. So I restore my HP. Okay, cool. You follow Quincy into a large cave, which opens up as you go further inside, revealing a massive chamber. Neatly hung on the walls are weapons of stone, steel, and iron. This is where all the warriors train and prepare for battle. It's where we store our mightiest weapons and where the strongest golems live. Oh, you must live here.

Not yet. I will. Don't pander to me. Large granite pillars rise to the ceiling of this impressively large cave, but what's most noticeable is how empty it is. Yeah, so we haven't seen any other golems this entire time we've been walking around Rock Hollow? No, you haven't. Okay. I mean, we maybe have seen rocks that aren't formed into golems yet.

Quincy, where are your brethren? Where is everyone? All the big ones are out by the wall defending and fighting off the other people who are trying to come in. What are y'all defending them from? You say just trying to come into your village, but what is there to protect in there? Great question. Our village. Are they trying to destroy it? Well, they're attacking us.

Or are they attacking you because you're attacking them? Well, they're attacking our city. How long has this attack been lasting for? Well, people have attacked us often. And so we eventually built up a wall and then they kept attacking us. And then we kept fighting back. What if people tried to come in, you know, just to visit as friends, not attacking like we are? Yeah. Yeah.

I think that's neat. I think so too. But yeah, most of the big ones, yeah, they're out there and there's not as many as there used to be. Oh, that's sad. As you're talking, hundreds of small pieces of rock, some as small as pebbles, begin to converge in a dusty corner of the cave. As they stack together, the rocks begin to take the shape of a large golem. Forming from so many smaller pieces with hundreds of cracks and indentations, the golem appears old,

Quincy, why are you bringing outsiders in here? They're just my friends. Yeah, we're Quincy's friends. Hello. What?

purpose do you have here? We're just, we're looking for something that we need. It's very important. We mean no harm. And we're trying to do it before the Church of the Shadows come in and find it before us because they mean harm. But we do not! Like my sister said. You know what they say, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Yeah. So you're here to steal from her? No, no, no, not steal. We're here to stop the enemy. To stop the

the bad people attacking. The bad people attacking our village to try and take things from it? Yes, we're here to stop them. Then why are you inside and not outside fighting them? We just met Quincy here and he was showing us around. We just got here. Has he shown you around? A little bit.

We saw the place that was between a rock and a hard place. We met boy boy Greg. Rock lobster. And now we're meeting you. Are you Elder Zaxxion? Yes. Oh, pleasure to meet you. We've heard so much. In the flesh. I mean, a rock. All I have to say is that you better not be here when the younger warriors return from the wall. They are not as patient as I am.

Well, maybe you could talk to them for us. Frankly, we'd be happy to get out of your hair as soon as possible, but we've come here on a bit of a mission. There is a very important key somewhere in this forest that is part of our quest in order to preserve life and keep the peace in all of the land. So basically what we're asking is that if there's any chance you have any information on such an object, it would help us on our way, and we'd

happily get out of your hair. Or information about Marcel the Magical? Marcel the Magical is also of interest to us. It's a bit of a MacGuffin. I have no knowledge of Marcel, but I do know that you should not take anything from our city. And if you do, then you will perish. What about fond memories?

Go take those. And he kind of, the pebbles and 100 just like kind of melt and then he just kind of like crumbles away. We will not take your kindness for granted. Oh, I love it.

Alright, you get an inspiration die. I have too many! Since we're twins, could I have his inspiration die? Oh, it transmits to my sister. I'm adding it to mine. Yeah, he can be a little grumpy. Where do you want to go now? I suppose there's only one last place to go. Let's go to the little rock place where the little ones are. Okay. Alright. He runs off. Arkansas is beautiful this time of year.

All right, I follow. Quincy leads you into a crevice cut out of a large boulder. It's a rather tight squeeze for Euthygenia, but once inside, the cacophony of little voices squeal. Quincy! Quincy's back!

A dozen tiny golems pour out of a bed of rock and roll towards you in what is quite possibly the cutest avalanche ever. Execute order 66. Some are made of rock, some of steel, some of iron, but all seem delighted to see their older brother.

Only after a moment do they notice you. They pause and look up at Quincy. It's okay. They're my friends. I pat Quincy on the back and I say, Quincy, you were invaluable to the team on our latest adventure. Thank you so much for all of your help out there. Yes, you're a mighty warrior, Quincy. Yeah, we were fighting. Yeah, Quincy saved us all. Oh, we're forever in your debt, Quincy. Feature's like, oh, yeah.

He taught me this move! And then I do that. Roll athletics. 20. I would say you do it so perfectly that it looks exactly like what Quincy does. You land hard against the ground, but you're able to land in a way that doesn't hurt at all. And Quincy's like, yeah! And then he does the same. I have an idea. Kids, what if we all play a game? Oh!

A game. A game. A game! A game! Adeline's a little too excited about this. I love games. Sounds like a musical. Yes, what if we all play a game where we try to find something? Ooh, fun. Manipulate the children, yes! I'm trying to progress the story here, D.A. Youth of Janiyah draws...

a rudimentary icon of a key into the ground. I think we still have a silver key we found at the Church of the Shadowmane if we want to show them that as an example. That's even better. You can pull it out and think, what's that?

Does anybody here, can anybody here find something that looks like this? Maybe it's black instead, though. But yeah, maybe a little fancier. I've never seen anything like that. That's weird looking. Kids are like, yeah, and they all kind of run around and start kind of like doing the kicks and things. Ugh.

Yeah, these are just babies. We go someplace more fun that doesn't have babies. Where do y'all want to go? Is there anywhere we haven't been? No. He gave us three options. I feel like the Garden of Life is the only one that was left.

- Open. - An answer, yeah. - As you make your way back to the Garden of Life, in the distance you hear the chanting and thunder of battle at the wall. It's louder than before and quite ominous. You return to the large granite rock in the center of Rock Hollow. And once again, you can read the Garden of Life lies between a rock and a hard place, sketched onto the stone. - Now, Quincy, they said that you are not hard-headed enough to use this or to enter this place.

That is correct. Not old enough? Yeah, yeah. He said, I'm hard-headed, but not hard-headed enough to visit the Garden of Life yet. I don't know if he was speaking literally or physically.

Right. Metaphorically. Yeah, you got there. Metamorphically. What if we all closed our eyes and then you did the thing to this rock that you did at the edge of the city to see if you could enter into this rock? Just for the heck of it. I think you're a strong boy. Well, yeah, but I'm not allowed to.

But you can do it. Okay. You're an adult. Let's do it. Everybody close their eyes. Okay. As is tradition. I give Sawyer a pat on the back and give him guidance.

Thank you, Euthygenia. This is a D4 to add to ending number rolled for ability check. I should cherish that pat on my bosom. No, I said back. I said backs. This is the most attention Sawyer's gotten from anybody in quite a few years. Sister, she touched me. Congratulations, brother. The touch of a woman. If you want guidance again, maybe you don't keep saying that. I respect you. All right. I bonk my head. Roll Athletics.

Bonk. Maybe I should have given you the buff that gives you an AC bonus. 14 plus what was the? D4. 16. That's a good roll. It's not bad. Not the best. It's not a 17. That is correct. That's how math works. You lean back. Grip the edge of the rock and then headbutt it with such force that like dust and pebbles spew from the ground.

And as you pull back, a trickle of blood drips from your head. Wow.

and then you take two points of damage, but upon smashing your head against a rock, the ground begins to shake. Ooh. Slowly, the large granite boulder cracks and opens at the point of contact with Sawyer's face. Am I having a concussion, or is this really happening? Pass it to me, both of you. The crack slowly grows into the opening of a cave. Ooh. Oh, yeah. Let's go in. Yeah, let's go in. Do we not want to, like, shine something down there and see if...

Stumble in. You make your way down the stone steps of the cave. As you descend, the space opens up to a beautiful underground garden with a stream running along the side. In the center of the cave is a large statue of a warrior with a mighty bow and arrow. Sorry. Okay. Um.

What, like, race is this warrior? Is it a golem or a humanoid or elven? It looks elvish. Wow. Does he have, like, a cool arm? Did you know about him? I do believe this is the great legend, legendary legend, Cowboy the Mighty. I don't know his name. I just know he's one of Faiza's strongest warriors who protected Faiza for hundreds of years. That sounds accurate. Yes, it is. Hundreds of years? Yeah. Wow.

It's too bad about the scandal at the end of his life, though. Stop it! Alexa!

yeah yeah he was super cool and strong he's made of steel and squishy stuff just like you yeah and legends say that this is where he was buried long ago can i go up and look at the statue try to see if there's anything of note on it how ugly is its face yeah roll investigation um

And while you do that, Quincy continues. Yeah, they say that the first golem of our family grew from the very spot where he was buried. And that's why they call this the Garden of Life. Rolled a 14. 14. You notice a large family of foxes have made a home out of the base of the statue. And above it is a plaque that reads, Power lies not with the strong, but with those who protect the weak.

This is really cool. Um... So we're in an enclosed garden that is bordered by water. Mm-hmm. And the statue's in the middle with foxes living underneath it. Mm-hmm. Um...

I guess Euthygenia does a tour of the garden, trying to see if there's just anything else, like, uh, tracks on the ground of any kind, or, uh, an opening, or bushes, or anything that stands out worth checking out. There seems to be hoof prints. Durin will accompany Euthygenia. And I will stare at all at this mighty statue. You can roll for an investigation. Sure, I will do that once more. I'm going to as well, since I'm with you.

Only a 12 that time. Four. Can you help? Should I roll as well? Yeah.

I'm very frustrated right now. Can the statue be moved at all or is there any discernible sort of thing that can be plugged in or taken off of the statue? You could try and move it, but it looks pretty solid. Can I see if I could like take the statue and just pivot it left? It doesn't move. Okay. What about the family of foxes? Do they have anything down there with them in their little den?

You're welcome to investigate it. Do we see anything that might be qualified as a rock and a hard place? Like a boulder? No, you don't see anything like that. But what did you roll? Eight? I would say you start making your way there, but then the foxes seem to kind of perk up, like a little more protective. They're rabid!

They don't attack. Oh. If you want to try and get them to move, you can try animal handling. Oh, that's my best skill. Durian is great with animals. Oh, yeah? I can tell if you're being serious. That's a 13. What's your modifier? I'd look down over here. Minus one. Okay, so you were being facetious. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I would say normally these wild animals wouldn't let you get this close to them.

but they seem friendly and you're able to kind of pet them and assure them that you're not trying to harm them. I'm not stealing their eggs. And then they kind of like open up and crawl out of their little nest and underneath it is the

a key. Durin, they trust you because you are the same size as them. I can almost ride them. Yeah, I'll pull the key out. Yeah, it's a you discover a black key inlaid with a sphere of obsidian. I'll hold it out to everyone and to Quincy and say, look, this was bothering the foxes. We should take this and throw this away. Wink. Darn!

Oh my god! Quinty, calm down! As Exeon the Elder charges from the mouth of the cave, an axe of granite raised for combat. Roll for initiative. Oh. Did he hear my lie? Uh, 13. 12.

Two, five. The golem charges with his big axe and slams it into Durin. No, it doesn't. Let me roll for that. Okay, that is a 20. That's a miss. Sucks to be on this stand, doesn't it?

You will not take our treasure. As he hits you with the axe and does 12 points of damage. That's gotta be like most of you. It's not good. This is gonna be a three episode campaign. He hits you with the axe and do a deck saving throw to see if you're able to hold on to the key. Nine.

And that's something I'm good at. - You could just enroll. - It is garbage. I'm refreshing my D&D Beyonce right now. Clear that couch. - Me last time. - Delete those cookies. - Yeah, I was gonna say, it was you had the curse, you passed it on to Gus. So next will be Blaine since he's next to Gus right now. - The key flies from your hand and clatters to the ground. It is now Adeline's turn. - We just need to talk to this guy.

Or run away. I don't think we're going to beat him. How close am I to Durin right now? I mean, he's right in the midst of all y'all. You're all within like five feet, I'd say. Could I go over to Durin and cast Cure Wounds on him? Yeah. Go and roll for that. See how much that does.

It's a seven points of healing. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. I was just staring at your roll like, oh, that's pretty good. Oh, wait, that's for me. Suddenly, there's a blast from the cave entrance and it shoots towards Zaxxion and hits him from behind. He turns and look and there's a cultist at the entrance of the cave. Durin, it's your turn.

Can I grab the key off the ground and charge at the cultist? You can, but you will take an attack of opportunity from Zacian. In that case, can I use the disengage action, which is a class feature of mine, to move without provoking an attack of opportunity? Yes, of course you may. That's so cool. I'll disengage. Describe what you... How do you disengage?

I go, "Oh my god, look over there!" And I go in the other direction, and when Zaxxion turns to look, I run back and grab the key, and then charge it in the direction of the cultist. He does one of those kicks that Percy taught him. You get to the cultist, and what do you do? I'm gonna go ahead and try to stick him with a dagger. Ooh, okay. Roll for that. Eight. That does not hit. Unsurprising.

I'm going to say, look over there. And it is now Euthygenia's turn. Euthygenia. Euthygenia's turn. There you go. Okay.

Okay, so Zacxion. Zacxion? Zacxion. Okay, Zacxion. Does Zacxion still have his attention on us or has he reared around to the cultist? At this moment, he's looking at the cultist who just shot him. Do I have eyes on the cultist? Yeah, I mean, it's the back of the cave, so yeah. Okay, I'm going to cast Guiding Bolt on the cultist and I'll roll for that.

this is 17. okay that hits great uh flash of light streaks towards object target takes 4d6 damage i'm gonna roll for damage that's 11. that is exactly what you know what you needed i've done a few murders in this campaign

Describe what happens as this bolt shoots towards the cultist. I don't really know how you channel a guiding bolt other than I guess it comes out of my hand. So, yeah, just a full-on Iron Man rearing back with a repulsor blast. She even puts her left hand back to steady herself and her right hand forward to shoot him. And then you ground pound with your front hooves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's cool.

Does she say anything as she shoots the bolt? Help is on the way, dear! And then just in case we are still in a fight here, um, as a bonus action, she casts Shield of Faith.

And a shimmering field appears and surrounds a creature of your choice within range, granting it plus two bonus to AC for the duration. Since Durin seems to be up in all things, I'll just go ahead and put on Durin. Hey, thank you. It is now Sawyer's turn. Sawyer, bolt up.

Zaxxion, hear my words! I am a man of honor, and we do not mean this village harm. In fact, we are taking this key away from you. Yes, we are thieving from you, but it is to get these shadow people away so they will end their barrage. I promise you we mean you no harm, and if the fates allow, we'll bring this key back once we're done with it. Please, we should not be fighting. Zaxxion seems to deflate, if that's possible, for a creature made of brambles.

Brocks? Okay. You say you mean us no harm. Yes. Very cool statue, by the way. But by taking this key, you bring us harm. I also. This key, the magic from it is what brings us life. I'm sorry to inform you of something, but all these nasty wizards and the one that just fired upon you and I killed...

Um, for you, just to be clear, um, they're not gonna stop until this key leaves the premises at least for a little while. Zaxxion, what if we took this key and yes, you may go dormant for a time, but we brought it back and then we bring you back to life. How's that sound? We also, we can't really go into detail about what we need this key for, but trust us when we say it's for the betterment of this entire planet. Why don't you roll for persuasion? Sawyer?

Yeah. Okay, that's a 19. That's pretty good. Okay. Zaxxion looks at you, and then in the distance, hears thundering of battle. They're taking the wall, and you want to take our key. Quite a rock and a hard place we find ourselves in. There's what I said before. Very Yoda-like structure of that sentence. By taking that key, you may doom all of us, all of the children here.

But by not taking this key, you could doom the whole planet. Uh, so... But also, we could bring it back. I, you know, I do want to make myself clear that we could bring this back. Hey, perhaps there's a tradition in your town of a pact, some sort of promise. Other people, the fleshy kinds, they sometimes do a blood pact, which secures the deal. Is there something we could do that might assure you that we will bring it back

and bring life back to your village once the danger has been averted. That sounds very reasonable. Do you care for Quincy? Oh, yes, we have grown quite fond of young Quincy here. Very much. Look at what he taught us. And then Adeline starts doing the karate moves. Very good, Quincy. Quincy, do you trust these squishy folk? Yeah, they're my friends. If you take this key and do not bring it back...

will have failed your oath and the doom for people will rest upon you. That's pretty heavy. Haunting, in fact, yes. Quincy's confused. So what's gonna happen if they take that thingy? What do you call it? A key. A dinglehopper. What happens? Well, you go to sleep, you take a quick little nap, and before you know it,

We're retired. Sawyer's gonna be back with his buddies here and we're gonna bring you back and we're gonna wake you up from that nap. Those stupid shadow folk, they won't be attacking no more. How's that sound? Perfect. Like a nap where I go away from my body or? No, where do you go when you take a nap?

Okay. Remember earlier when I asked you what happens to you when you turn into your rock form? Uh-huh. Yeah, you're gonna just do that, but just for a little bit while longer. Okay. And then when you wake up, you can do all the cool little kicks you want. And then I'll be right there with you and I'll go, ha-ha-ha-ha. Are we killing these people? Are we killing these people by doing this? Can I investigate? I don't know how to kill them. I'm rubbing my hand across my neck again. Stop it, Doran! They are coming. I do not trust those people. And Quincy trusts you. So...

If you must take it, but do not forget the little ones. He takes Quincy and puts him in his lap. We will be back for you, Zaxxion. Zaxxion. Zaxxion. Zaxxion. As the kids say, BRB. Rock lobster. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. He nods. Go now before they come. Say less.

You've got the key. So yeah, we leave. As you exit, you see the pebbles and rocks from Zaxion and the large head of Quincy go lifeless. You leave the cave. Hundreds of cultists around you.

coming from the front of the gate and searching the area. I quickly put on the cultist robe from earlier. Red potion, red potion! Yeah, I've got a better idea. Can we go back in the cave and red potion the ground? You see some cultists look up at you and then start charging towards you. Red potion. Uh-oh, before we go, though, we have bested you again! Charge your shadows! Leave this place, you bunch of losers! So that they'll leave him alone.

You know, I'm just trying to get them away so that they know that they lost their mission. Yeah, we're going to roll an intimidation check to see if that's pretty good. 22! That's pretty good. And what do you do? Do you throw the potion on the ground? Yeah, whoever had it. Yeah. You miss, and I'm outside of the potion zone. You smash the potion to the ground, and the red liquid pools together, and you see reflected in the pool some location that you do not recognize. Perfect.

I jump in. I cannonball in again. Let's go in. Yep. As daggers fly towards you, you jump in and the red goo envelops you. And we'll find out where you appear on the next episode of Tales of the Steamy Dragon. Hopefully we did not just do a genocide. Let's also make sure that Smiley doesn't get that key. Yes. Woo!

We'll be back next week for the penultimate episode of this little campaign. Thank you to everyone who's interacting with us on social media. You could be the next Rock Lobster. Leave us a comment. Tell us what your favorite B-52 song is. Maybe you'll be in a future episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Thanks to everyone that interacts with us on social media. Here are some NPCs in this episode named after folks that used hashtag StinkyDragonPod.

There was Quincy, the baby golem, who is user at not Quincy Aaron on TikTok. There's also Jotan the Rock, who's Jotan on Apple Podcasts. He gave us a five-star review and said some great things. And then Zaxxion, also another person who posts on social media, supports our show. Boy, boy, Greg.

The Rock Lobster was named after user oiboygreg on TikTok who left one of our top comments on one of our videos. So thank you so much to everyone for listening and be sure to tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.