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This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.
This is a Rooster Teeth production. Salutations to all you star sponseers! Phase on into the Stinky Dragon guzzle our latest gulp, Fortune Favors the Foretold. It's a mixture of Space Bending Sherry, Vortexian Vermouth, Basil Nut Liqueur, and Psychic Orb Orange Bitters. One mouthful of this moonshine, you'll be seeing double futures.
Previously, our adventurers entered the ethereal plane with Sleek, Spectral, and Smarsh, and once again encountered the true evildoer behind all their misfortune: Doors. After defeating their unhinged nemesis, they entered an otherworldly farmhouse where Hugh Manor was keeping plainer prisoners of the party's pals: Captain Marge, Dr. Ahem, and Mild Manor.
After contending with the cannibalistic killer, Dr. Ahem sacrificed himself to slay Hugh and save his friends. Next, the party had their first dust-up with a Diagem adorned in Tropa.
The Infinites fearlessly fought their armor-plated enemy but ultimately were no match and fell to their untimely demises. Gum-Gum however woke up at Mount Celestia and met a deity he wasn't expecting: his mother, Dia. Cobble a cocktail, 'cause it's time for none other than our end finale.
Well, we're dead. So thanks for watching, guys. That's the episode. That's the shortest episode ever. It's funny because this morning, the song that's been stuck in my head has been Dumb Ways to Die. Yeah. That's been stuck in my head all day. That's why. Meet Entropa, and that's how you do it.
Dyer reaches up to her blazing hair and a brilliant white crown appears around her head. She takes it off and holds it out. This is yours, Ganko. You are the rightful heir of the Diadem of Diadems. That night, I gave Gerydor the crown to spare your life. Once he wore the Diadem, Gerydor nearly matched my own celestial power.
A relentless battle waged until we were both exhausted. In the end, I finally managed to imprison him, but at a great cost to you, to Faiza, and to myself. It took every last bit of my strength to save your life, but it meant Faiza would fall apart, the Diagens would be scattered, and I would have to depart to material play. But now you're here, which means your father has returned.
And he has the means to eradicate magic from Phaser. And so my dear Gum-Gum, you have a choice. You can choose to stay here and take your rightful place amongst celestial deities and spend all of eternity with me, your mother. Or you can take this diadem, return to the material plane as a mortal, save your friends, and stop your father in trouble. The choice is yours.
He decides to stay. I feel like Chris is wild and carded enough. And he's considering both looking at his face right now. We had a meeting yesterday. To figure out what would happen if he stayed? We were like, we don't know what Gum-Gum's actually going to do at this point. We should talk about it a little bit and see what possibilities might exist. Yeah. So, you're really my mama? Yes, Gum-Gum. I think he would...
Run and hug her and start crying. He just like go through her. Or like, what's the physical situation here? Dia spreads her shimmering arms out wide toward you. I'm sorry, Mama. It's okay. It's not your fault, Gum-Gum. You didn't do this. No, I spent all that time looking for Dad. I didn't look for you. I was there with you the whole time. I'm sorry. It's okay. It's okay.
So my dad is Garidor and Garidor's Entropa? Yes, your dad is Garidor, but he became Entropa. And Archie is... that's my dad too? Entropa occupied the body you knew as Archie for a time, but Archie is not your father. And sort of.
He's just asking about every single character we've ever met. They're all tied in. Saurua's spirit was once in the body of Archie. But Archie and Saurua have no relation to you. The guy I met in the woods that one time when Bart disappeared. Little Jimmy. So, you're a god, right? Some would view it that way. And so...
Burt's dad. They said they're my godparents. Were they fibbing? There could be multiple. Bye, everybody. Mom's not going to be here for the rest of the finale. They're just very special people for you. But they are not fibbing. Gum Gum learned a new word recently. So, Dad, did he not ever want me? He lost his way.
His rage overtook his love and he became consumed by it. I mean, I get angry, but I don't get mean. And that's why you're so special, Gum-Gum. Your care and love for people triumphs over your anger. Does he not love you? I fear he has forgotten how to love.
He seems to only know rage now. Chris really putting Gus through the improv ringer right here. No, no, it's good. It's good. I got this. I got this. But also from like a character perspective, like this makes perfect sense. Yeah. Don't go over and ask me this question. Mud pulls out a little book that tells kids how to deal with divorce that he got in the library this one time. It's about two alligators who don't love each other anymore. And so they go away and their little alligator kid. It's actually a real book. Why are you pulling this from reality? It's so sad.
You gotta explain this stuff to kids! He forgot how to love, but did he forget about me? I don't know for certain, but it's possible his rage has blinded him from who he once was as Garidor, who we both were to him. That makes me sad. It is sad, Gum-Gum. So, if I don't go back, will all my friends die? I'm afraid your friends are already dead, Gum-Gum. If you don't go back, they will stay that way.
Am I dead? You're here with me. Oh, and if I go back, how do I save everyone? With the diadem. And again, she points at the diadem. The diadem of diagems. That was the little crown, right? Right. I don't think I'm strong enough for it. Oh, but you are. You were born to wear this diadem, my son. But if there is any doubt that you are ready, self is proof that you are worthy to wield its magics.
What kind of magic? The purest of divine magic. The most powerful arcana available to me. At the orphanage, they said I slept for a really long time and didn't get older. Why was I so sleepy? Do you have any memory as an infant of being bit by something that looked like a dog? That creature was Entropa. His venomous bite cursed you with a seemingly endless sleep, slowly draining you of your life force.
and then woke me up. You awoken by something he wasn't expecting. The feelings of friendship and love. And my boom-boom wand? Entropa made Mr. Mayor Brink-Tussler destroy it? Why'd he do that? Entropa has known great pain, and that pain shows up in the form of his rage. And when rage becomes uncontrollable, it can lead us to hurt other people, forcing them to feel our pain.
And that's why he took you from me? In a way, yes. I sacrificed all that I had to save you from his curse. And now he's trying to take my friends? Yes, but not just them. He's also trying to take magic away from the world. That's not very nice. You're right, it's not. If I go back, when do I have to go back? Well, you have to make the choice now to either go back as a mortal...
save your friends and stop in trouble. Oh, to spend all of eternity with me here at Mount Celestia. If I ever go back, will I ever see you again? I will always be with you, my son.
We have a connection that can never be broken. Can I have a hug first? Again? Of course. I wouldn't have it any other way. Once again, she opens her shimmering arms and embraces you in a warm hug. It's like being wrapped in a warm blanket of sunsets and sunrises, like nothing you've ever experienced. Whoa, that was really deep. What a beautiful way to describe it. I'm just really sorry, Mama, that I didn't find you sooner. And...
I'm sorry, but I think I have to go again. Dia puts the diadem on your head, and her eyes begin to glisten, and she smiles. It suits you, sweetheart. I couldn't be prouder of the person you've grown up to be. Please know that not one day has passed that I have wished to see you with my own eyes, to speak to you face to face, to hold you in my arms. You always have a place to call home here at Mount Celestia. That being said...
I'm grateful you found your own family in Phaser. Take care of them. Hold them close. She opens her arms again and looks at you with moonlit eyes. I love you, Gum-Gum. I love you more than all the magic in all the realms. I love you too, Mama. Your mother offers you one last smile. It's time to bring the magic back to Phaser. It's time to wake up, Gum-Gum.
Everything around you fades to white. You can add the diadem of diagems to your inventory.
Seasonal allergies are back in Austin, man. My eyes are watering, but it's the cedar. It's the cedar. It's just raining on your face. Yeah. The diadem is a pearlescent white crown that's crafted by the deity Serendia. It's made of pure celestial light, and it can house all six diagems. While wearing the crown, you gain the following traits. You have resistance to necrotic damage and advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects. That's celestial resistance.
You have Healing Aura, so as a bonus action you can cast Mass Cure Wounds once per long rest. And you have an ability called Celestial Revelation, Radiant Soul. You can use a bonus action to unleash the celestial energy within yourself. Your transformation lasts for one minute or until you end it as a bonus action.
Two luminous spectral wings sprout from your back temporarily. Until the transformation ends, you have a flying speed equal to your walking speed, and once on each of your turns, you can deal an extra radiant damage to one target when you deal damage to it with an attack or spell. The extra damage equals your proficiency bonus.
Once you transform using your revelation, you cannot use it again until you finish a long rest. And you have Diagem Divinity. When the Diadem houses all six Diagems, the Diagem's power will begin to coalesce and energize. After a charging period, the Diadem will grant you a divine power. That's cool. You open up bleary eyes and immediately see bark, cyborg, and mud are lying on the ground around you motionless. You look up and see Entropa is turned away from you.
He seems to be waving his arms around and chanting something in an unfamiliar language.
I think you got that wrong, Gus. Actually, what's been happening this whole time is Gumbo has actually been fighting Entropa. Gumbo hasn't actually struck down at all. It's amazing. It's awesome. I've been watching the whole thing. I'm such a proud papa. Gum Gum's back, like, alive? You're back on the material plane. And conscious? And conscious? Yes. You're sitting up. Can I do the mask cure wounds? Yeah. Okay. Okay.
Mask your wounds. Wave of healing. Washes out from a point of your choice within range. Shoes up to six creatures in a 30-foot radius. Square sphere. Square.
Center it on that point. Each target regains points equal to 3d8 plus your spellcasting ability modifier. The spell has no effect on undead or constructs. Are they within 30 feet of me? Yes. And what about Gumbo? Gumbo would get it as well. Is he doing that Simba thing? Where he's like, Dad! You know? Oh, to me. Like I said, Gumbo's fighting in trouble right now and could really use a healing. Perfect.
So I'm gonna cast that. How many d8s was it? He rolls it. Oh, he does. Yeah. So you cast it and how much does it heal? It's 11. Not the best roll. 11 total. Yes. That's gum gum. Hey guys, we got him. We're gonna get a trope. As you all stir and wake from your eternal rest, you feel Dia's divine power coursing through your bodies and everyone levels up to level 16.
I'm shocked! When did that happen? You feel more powerful. What new powers do you feel like you have? Well, I feel really lucky. Just like extra lucky. Kind of like Kyborg lucky. Flexes for Kyborg. He's like the Spider-Man, Tobey Maguire looking in the mirror like, yeah. I also learned a new spell during my death rest. Oh.
called Feeble Mind, where you blast the mind of a creature that you can see within range, attempting to shatter its intellect and personality. It won't work on me. The target takes 46 psychic damage and must make an intelligence saving throw. On a failed save, the creature's intelligence and charisma scores become one.
The creature can't cast spells, activate magic items, understand language, or communicate in any intelligible way. The creature can, however, identify its friends, follow them, and even protect them. So you basically make another gum gum. Yes. Like father, like son, hopefully, in this situation. And that's an 8th level spell. Yes, sir. Now you can cast 8th level spells.
Sure can. Read that last paragraph. That's the worst part. At the end of every 30 days, the creature can repeat its saving throw against the spell. If it succeeds on a saving throw, the spell ends. So basically you could only try every 30 days. If you fail to save, you get to try again in a month. Mm-hmm. God.
Bummer, man. I promise not to use it on you at all until the very end. Maybe. That's my last dish ever. I'll just cast this on all of you guys. Bye. Gum Gum, what'd you do? I got Relentless Endurance, so that means my rage doesn't go away unless I want it to or I die. So that's nice with magic. Which previously, if you didn't make an attack, your rage would go away there. Or if I cast a spell. Oh.
And I also got a level as a sorcerer. Oh! Multiclassing. Uh-huh. Yeah. We need to have, like, one of those little ceremonies where you, like, break the karate board, you know? But yeah, Gum Gum's a level one sorcerer, and he's got a few spells, and it's really cool. I've been hoping this whole time someone would multiclass. You've been talking about multiclass for a while now. Yeah, that's awesome. We finally did it.
Kyborg got tough! Hit point maximum increases by an amount equal to twice your level when you gain this feat. And then from here on, I increased by like 2 HP based on my level. So I felt like we were going to be doing a boss battle here. So I wanted to get a little bit more HP. And then I also got something called Enfeebling Arrow.
despite this funny sound, Infeeling Arrow is a creature hit by the arrow, takes an extra 2d6 necrotic damage and must also succeed on the constitution saving throw where the damage dealt by its weapon attack is halved until the surgery next turn. And then I think I also got something else just because of
upgrading. Ever ready shot. If you roll initiative and have no use of arcane shot remaining, uh, you gain one use of it. So like when I blow through all my arcane shots, as I do, I'll, I'll get one back. Nice. I feel like I missed the memo and didn't get a feeble, uh, based, uh, spell or ability. Uh,
Mud also has access to 8th level spells and added one called Animal Shapes. I kind of want to keep that a secret. They're like shadow animals, like, look at the bunny. I kind of want to surprise my team with what it does, if that's okay, because I think they'll enjoy the surprise. Also, in our slumber, did we happen to find a small dragon sculpture? I'm not sure if that makes sense.
Check your bag. Yeah, check it. Wait, actually. I found a crown. Daya blessed you with a gift. Really? Yeah. Are you being serious? We can't tell with Gus. I know. Daya has blessed you with a gift. The one thing you've desired for so long. Bart opens his bag and looks. Yeah, it's in there. Wow.
I thought you were going to say a dragon statue worth 450 gold pieces. Really quick before we lose the narrative of our level ups, there was something else that happened to Mud. He took a feat as well. A feat called Metamagic Adept.
which is interesting that you're a first level sorcerer. I have access to metamagic, which is a sorcery ability where I have sorcery points that I can apply to a little spells that are metamagic spells. I have one called empowered spell and one called quicken spell. Um,
Um, and I can use-- I can use those charges, uh, whenever I want, and they get brought back every, like, I think, long rest. And what does the, uh, empowered and quickened spell do? Um, empowered spell, uh, when you roll damage for a spell, you can spend one sorcery point to reroll a number of the damage dice up to your charisma modifier, and you must use the new rolls.
You can use Empower spell even if you've already used a different metamagic option during the casting of the spell. And then Quicken spell, when you cast a spell that has a casting time of one action, you can spend two sorcery points to change the casting time to one bonus action. That's pretty powerful. So that would allow me to cast two spells that are one action spells. That's cool. Very cool. I also forgot to mention, I'm a wild magic sorcerer. Whoa.
What does that mean? When I cast spells, stuff happens. Cool. Nice. Random stuff. Same, dude. Bark got like a gold dragon thingy. Did Carver get anything? Did he get it like his parents' back? He wants to check his sack. Why are there skulls in here?
Nice. So everyone wakes up now? Yeah, everyone wakes up and feels more powerful. Entropa hears you all stirring and turns around. What? This is impossible. I watched you die. This isn't how it was supposed to end.
Streaks of red lightning cascade from Entropa's arms and the grassy ground around it begins to crumble and break away from the island, floating higher into the sky. Stones from the demolished farmhouse fly past you all and gather into three archways to the north, east, and west of the main aisle. In the center, more stones assemble into raised dais. It's time to put these diagems to good use.
Entropa closes his bloodshot eyes and the indigo diagel on his crown begins to shimmer to light. Three portals materialize and stone are twice. The first is crackling with red energy. The second is swirling with deep blues and purple clouds. And the third is blackened with shadows darker than the night sky above you. And you are now.
Red mist, blue clouds, and black shadows begin pouring from the archways, coalescing into the central dais. Diffusion of energy slowly begins to crystallize into fragmented facets of a dark gem. Entropa falls to his knees laughing as the energies continue to surge into the dais. Isn't it beautiful? It's made of pure contra-kana. I call it the Entropa.
We don't get a long rest, do we?
Oh god. Hope you don't get touched. How many health did I have when I came back? Was I at zero? We were all at 11? You're at 12. Okay. Oh, nice. Lucky. Helps having a powerful mom, huh? Nepo baby. Can I, can I? Hey, Bart, you don't believe it. I found my mom. Oh, yeah? What was she like? She's really...
Really pretty and a god. That's a pretty important factor there. I'm surprised you didn't start with that. Also in trouble is my dad. It's a lot to unpack, Gum Gum. I think maybe after this we should look into a therapist. For all of us.
God, I rolled a one. I rolled a nat 20 for initiative. Oh, look at you. What a waste of a nat 20. I like how we talk about dice rolls as if there's like a limited amount. Oh, there is. It's similar to how we talk about catching shinies in Pokemon. It's like when you get a crappy one, you're like, I used my shiny luck. All right. And Entropa got a 14.
Okay, Mud, with your nat 20. I don't want to go first. You're first. Help me! You see, like, the sphere of energy surrounding Entropa. The sphere itself is about 30 feet wide. So when you say Entropurl, is it like Entropa made a little brother named Entropurl? Or is it a pearl? I guess it's the pearl. It's a pearl. Okay, okay. It's not another smaller Entropa. Hey, it's me, Entropurl!
What is that doing? Like sucking in all the magic? Yeah, as you see, like energies from all of the portals coalescing around it. Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention, as he's on his knees laughing maniacally, six Anarchs jump out from one of the portals as well and are around Entropa. Which...
The one that's red. I believe that's the one on the left, if I remember right. East or portal? The east portal. Oh, is it the east? Okay. Well, at least he's prone. No, he's on his knees. That's not prone. No, he's prone. He's laughing so hard. Oh, he's bellowed over. He peed himself. All the cool kids pee themselves. Yeah. What's our proximity to each other? You all are within about five to ten feet of each other. You all are really close together.
Okay, so what would happen if I put something that is a five foot cube in between us? Could it touch us all? You can find a way to make it work. I can find a way to make Mutt's healing spirit work. Now you gum gum.
You call forth a nature spirit to soothe the wounded. The intangible spirit appears in a space that is five foot cube. You see within range, the spirit looks like a transparent beast or fae. Today, it's a... Yes. It's a... Yes. Albatross. Ooh. Albatross. So hot right now. Why not? What's an albatross? Thinking of John Candy recently and thinking of John Candy's great role in Rescues Down Under. Oh,
Yeah, he was. Yeah, that's right. Great movie. Did someone ask what an albatross is? I made a joke that it's my favorite person. Not me Googling what an albatross is. It's a big bird. It's a big bird. It's a big bird. It's a big bird that the mice fly on and rescues down under. Ah, yes. For listeners at home who didn't know, hey, fools. Yeah, yeah. We're explaining it just for you guys. Until the spell ends, whenever your creature you can see moves into the spirit space for the first time on a turn and starts its turn there, you can cause the spirit to restore 1d6 hit points to that creature. Yeah.
And then the spirit can heal a number of times equal to one plus your spellcasting modifier, which is, I think, plus five. After healing a number of times, the spirit disappears. And as a bonus action, I can move the spirit. So everyone start your next turn, roll a D6, and you get D6 of healing. It's the best I could do. We don't do it right now. Oh, wait. It's a 1D6 plus five hit points specifically. No. Start your turn. Okay. So we do a D6 plus five when we start our turn? Yeah. And as a... As a... No, that'll be it for Bud. Okay.
So, uh, no. I cast... Nope, that'll be it for Mudd. Sorry. This is the point where we're messing with level 16 characters. It's like, I got so many things to, like, switch around to see if I can do, but I'm just gonna say no. Go next person. Do great things and heal yourself a little. Well, the next person is Gum-Gum.
Okay. And then after Gum Gum is Anarchs and Tropa, then Bart. Technically, just to let my teammates know, our mud can see us. You can move in and out of the stupid spirits and you could be getting healed again. The stupid spirits. Medigame question then. Can you use your movement to go in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out? But it's only at the start of your...
So you'd have to leave and then come back in at the start of your next turn. You could do it again. I was just... So the pearl is behind him? Yep. Correct. It's like kind of at the center of the aisle, like on a raised dais, and it's where all of the energies from the portals is focusing. Yeah, and there's three portals. Yeah, and then the Entrope Earl. The portals are giving the pearl the energy. Yeah, the Earl, the Entrope Earl. Or is the pearl giving the portals the energy? Make an Arcana check, though.
I know. Sorry, it's not my turn. No, no, no. This is all good. We need the data. That's a one. I get to roll again. Nat 20, 23. Yeah, it looks like the portals are giving the pearl energy. So he's probably opened up portals that are sucking up magic from the world into the pearl. That's a good point. A vacuum cleaner of magic. All right. So do we attack the portals or do we attack the intro pearl? Or we get in the portal. So the magic goes to us.
Oh, yeah, okay. I don't know. You like get in the way of the magic going to the Entropurl? Or maybe it kills us. I don't know. But we already did that. Well, don't forget, it seems like all of this is being contained within this 30-foot wide sphere that seems to be all around Entropa and the central dais and the Entropurl. What do you mean by contained? It's all inside of it. I guess I'll get wings.
Yeah, what's that? The celestial revelation. Yeah, I'm going to do my celestial revelation radiant soul. It's more of a finisher to me, but... Okay. Do it. I'll rage first. I'll start with that. Final answer. And I'll roll my...
Rage thing, that's six and a two. I can teleport 30 feet to unoccupied space or I get the plus one bonus AC. I'm going to take the teleportation. Don't forget the heal because of John's thing. Yes. Oh yeah. And I'll do that. So 1d6. D6 plus five. That is eight. How far away is the pearl from me? I'd say just over 30 feet. Let's call it 35 to 40 feet or so. Can I teleport to the pearl? You can try. Within 30 feet of it.
So I'll do that. Can I see what happens if I touch it? Yeah, your wild magic forms and you teleport, but something happens and blocks your teleportation along the way. So you move up, but you stop just short of that sphere. So now you're standing right in front.
of this 30 foot wide sphere that's surrounding Entropa and the Entropurl. - And the teleports are inside the sphere, right? - The portals. - The portals? - Are outside of the sphere or inside the sphere? - The portals are just outside of the sphere. - Copy that. - Okay. Can I go to one of them and see what happens if I stick a finger in? - Yeah. With the amount of movement you have, you could not make it to the one on the far north. That's kind of too far for you. - Okay. - But you should be able to make it to the one to the west or to the east. - The east has the Anarchs coming up. - Yeah.
I'll go to the east one then. The one with the Anarchs? Yeah. Oh. And stick a finger in. I'm just double checking that that is the correct one. One of the Anarchs bites your finger. Correct one. No, no, I like that. That is the one the Anarchs are coming out of. Yeah, sure. That's what we said. Yeah. You run over to the portal to the east that is glowing with red energy. And you want to stick a finger into it? Yeah. Which finger? The pinky. Of which hand? My left hand.
Okay. You stick your left pinky into it and you feel like a prickling, strong energy coursing through it. Like a good prickly? No, a bad prickly. You take 11 points of damage. No. I think he still has one. He's only out because of the totem.
Because I had 12. So I wouldn't be back at 1. Oh, you had 12. He had one extra hit point. Don't you remember those jokes about him being a nepo baby? He had one additional. Oh, that. I didn't know the nepo baby joke was connected to that. Is that 11? What kind of damage would it might reach? Lightning damage. Okay. Oh, Jesus. Okay. Hey, someone had to find out. Someone had to find out. I'm going to use my boon of recovery pen. Okay. How long have you had that? Since the beginning. I can't.
It says as a bonus action to regain a number of hit points equal to half your hit point maximum. Can I use that as an actual action? You raged, which caused the teleportation. Then you moved. You stuck your pinky out. So then you want, instead of a bonus action, you want to use up a regular action because you're out of bonus actions, correct? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I don't like that first. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Why not? All right. Well, I'm going to use that. That's half my hit point maximum, which would be 94.5, 95 if I round up. I'll just round up to 95. Cool.
You can touch so many portals now. Yeah. Maybe the other ones will have a different outcome. Yeah. It's part of the scientific method, okay? Yeah. And, uh... That's action. That's bonus action. You're done. I don't know if I can move anymore. Mm-mm. Okay. I'm done.
Gum-Gum exclaims to no one in particular. So now he's where? He's by... He's by the eastern portal. East portal, okay. With his new friends. Yeah, with his new friends. And one of them turns to say hello. Hi. We are Anarchs. I'm Gum-Gum. The Anarchs lashes out at you, Gum-Gum. Ooh, and hits a critical hit. Okay, for 20. That was to hit. That was to hit. That's not damage. First you roll to hit and then you do damage.
Welcome to D&D. Yeah. We're only 85 episodes in.
Could I, uh, I want to use my shield spell. You want to use your shield spell? What does that mean? Gum-Gum goes, mmm, shield! And cash shield, it's a reaction when you take your hit by an attack or target by the magic missile spell. An invisible barrier magical force appears and protects you until the start of your next turn. You have plus five bonus AC, including against the triggering attack. Okay, this was a critical hit, though. So does that mean I can't? It's still gonna hit. It's gonna hit no matter what? Right. Okay, then.
A 20 will always hit and a 1 will always miss, regardless. Well, then M&A won't do that. All right. So the Anarchs lashes out. It, like, shapes itself into a really long sword. Lashes out and hits you. But it seems to pass through you. It doesn't feel like it necessarily hurt. Wow. Oh, really? But for some reason, you feel compelled to drop everything in your hands. So you drop your weapons and your equipment. Everything? Just whatever's in your hands. So I guess it'd be my axe.
Your axe. And you know what? You don't like the way Kyborg was looking at you. Kyborg. You need to yell an insult at him. Wait, what? What? Kyborg! Yeah? Stop looking at me like a dum-dum! And this happened after he did what? After the Anarchs struck him. Swiped him with the sword that he is. How many points of psychotic damage is that? Or psychic damage? And that's it. But it's Entropa's turn. Oh, good. I think he wants to hold his turn. He wants to delay. Hmm.
No. Entropa's really gotten into cross stitch and wants to get back to that. Well, he's old, so if he's on his knees, getting up is an action. That's right. We all know. Makes a lot of grunting sounds. He is prone. You hear a little crack. You see Entropa laughing maniacally. He rises to his feet and out seemingly from his torso, a shower of contra-kana lightning bolts shoot out, striking each of you. All four of you need to make a dexterity saving throw.
Goodness gracious. No ways to die. 22. 19. And if I fail, I have indomitable. Seven. 22 is the save. So 19 is a fail. Okay. 16 for gum gum. Okay. Yes, I do have indomitable. Is that just a reroll or do you automatically do the save? You can reroll a saving throw that you fail. You must use the new roll.
It's a 22, so you gotta get something good. Well, it was dexterity. Yes. Dexterity save, so I have plus 5, so I need a... 17. I need a 17 or an 18 or above. Or 19. Or 20. Okay. All right. All right. One out of 16. Oh! Oh! 24! Ooh! You did a check, but... Oh. Oh!
It's still plus five. I think for him it's the same. Good catch. Only 85 episodes. My God. We'll get there. Okay, so Mud and Gum Gum fail the save. Mud, roll me a d10. No. Four. For some reason, you're overcome by fear. Specifically, fear of Gumbo. You...
I think he's up to something. He's gonna get you. This magic's hurting us against each other. How are you guys looking at this, Badger? It looks shifty to me. Something's different about it. Something's wrong about this, Badger. Ever since you woke up, it came back. I agree. I've always suspected Gum-Gum. Thank you. I've been looking at these mushrooms, mushrooms. They look oddly suspicious. Gum-Gum, you also need to roll a d10.
Okay. Who are you going to get angry at? I can't take any more insults, GumGum. I really hope it's not me, not your little buddy Bart. That's a 10. A swarm of magic missiles surrounds you and begins striking you. You're going to see your mom again, GumGum. He did that boon, so that's good. All the magic missiles focus and they all strike you doing 26 points of force damage. I cast... Shield! Shield!
It's a level one spell that I can cast as a reaction. Oh, there it is. I was about to ask. And it makes me immune to magic missile. Really? Wow. Specifically? So specific. Take no damage from magic missile. It's plus five to my AC and takes no damage from magic missile. Dude. That is a...
That's the best use of multi-class I think I've seen. And it was just like spur of the moment, like, wow. And you just happened to take that sorcerer level. Yeah, and I now roll a D100 for my wild magic. That's a reaction. You get one reaction. You only get one reaction, yeah. No, no, not that one. My wild magic from sorcerer, whenever I cast a level spell, I roll a D100 and stuff happens. You have so many things going on, GumGum. And this could be bad.
Cool, cool, cool. 52, which is you restart the DC universe with a whole new brand of comics.
I got Micah on that one. I got Micah. It's at your discretion. Once per turn, the DM can have you roll a d20 immediately after you cast their spell a first level or higher. If you roll a 1, call on the Wild Magic search table to create a magical effect. I can have you roll a d20? Yeah. Okay. And if I roll a 1, then something weird happens. Got it. Okay. Entropa opens his mouth and it seems like dark magic begins spilling out of it. It slinks along the ground, all around Gum-Gum.
and it begins coalescing enveloping you in a dark void let's see if it connects i'm gonna bet that's a miss got plus five ac also oh that is true seven plus what is your ac right now 22. oh that's a 21. i
The dark void starts enveloping you and encircling you, but then like dissipates and dissolves all around you. Gross. You're lucky you have that plus five. Barb has her pin hooked onto her lip and she's talking and it's moving. It's just like a cigarette bobbing in her mouth, but it's a pin. I'm like, oh God. Blaine looked to me physically in pain when he saw it. It looks so painful. Speaking of Barbara...
Bart, it's your turn. Okay, well, first I'll take that healing. 1d6 plus 5. And that will be 5 plus 5, 10 healing. You're welcome. Thanks, Mud. It's been a few hours since you cast it, but I finally got it.
And now I'm just trying to decide if I should spend my turn healing you guys or actually try to hurt Entropa. Quick heads up, after Bart, it's an Anarchs and then Kyber. Heal? Yeah. You sound like he was like a commentator at a tennis match. It was. It was very much. Right after Bart, we have the Anarchs coming up on deck. I'm going to cast Mask Your Wounds. Could I see all of my party at this point? Yes. Lucky for you, that void did not envelop Gum-Gum. Otherwise, you would not be able to see him. Okay.
I'm going to cast it at the fifth level. So that's 3d8 plus four. Big rolls, Bart. Big roll, Bart. B for Bart, B for big. So everyone gets 15. And then as a bonus action, I'm going to cast... No, I want to do more healing. Oh, it was the temp HP thing you had? Yeah.
I'm going to do Mantle of Inspiration. So it grants you 14 temp HP up to four creatures you could see within 60 feet. And you also can immediately use your reaction to move. Quick, look at your hand. So all four creatures you see. Oh, oh. Could I see myself? I always forget if I could use Mantle of Inspiration on myself. It's airbud rules. It doesn't say they can't look at it. Amen.
Ain't no rules, says ain't no rules. Sure, you can look at yourself. No rules, says Bat Bard can't look at their hand and go, that's a creature I see. You look at yourself in the reflection of your shiny new dragon statuette. Oh, maybe I'll be using it next time. And then I don't know if I'm allowed to do this because that technically was a bonus action. Could I eat my green epipple? You could do what Gum Gum did and have it take a full action if you want. But the mass cure wounds was full action. That was full action. Oh.
Oh, that's why she was phrasing that. That would be a second bonus action. So, yeah, right. Because it doesn't have any sort of... It's an inventory item. Yeah. We'll say it's like interacting with an object with your mouth. So is that a bonus action then typically? No, it's a different kind of action that you could do. Okay. I'm going to eat my green epiphyllum. It's a sour green embryo can fruit grown only in pip orchard that offers magical resistance when consumed. When eaten, you have resistance to all damage for one minute. What?
Dude, that's awesome. That's pretty good. Wow. Can you like mama bird some of that into my mouth? I'll burp in your direction and see if that helps. Ain't no rule in the rule book says ain't no can't take no ain't no damage. Nailed it. The comment section for this episode is going to be a lot of rule goblins getting upset. So just for clarification, resistance doesn't mean like you don't take any damage. You just take half damage. Okay. That's still great. Yeah, cool. And everyone added the 14 temp HP? Yeah. Already there. Cool, cool, cool.
And the mass cure ones you get immediately. Already added. Got it. Cool. Anything else? That's it for me. Okay. It's time for an Anarchs. It's an Anarchs break. This episode of Stinky Dragon brought to you by Anarchs. We are Anarchs.
Well, hello there, fellow adventurers. It's Bart the Bard here. To say pleasantries, my pungent pals, we've got some exciting announcements and puppet videos coming down the putrid pipeline. So make sure you and your friends are following us at...
Stinky Dragon Pod. We're on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, all the fun places. Plus, if you post on social media using hashtag Stinky Dragon Pod, we might name an NPC in the show after you. Beware. I'm just kidding. Don't be scared. It'll be fun. We'll love it. We'll love you. All right. Thanks.
Hey everyone, Barbara here filling in for Gus to say that today's episode is sponsored by Honey, the easy way to save when shopping on your iPhone or computer. When I'm online shopping and I find a coupon code to check out, I feel like a little kid opening gifts on their birthday. It's such a great feeling. And thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past.
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Do you find yourself awake in the middle of the night reading real-life stories that make your skin crawl? The creepy history behind Victorian nursery rhymes or tales of sleep paralysis demons? Perhaps you've seen the haunting images of corpses on Mount Everest, read the last meal requests of death row prisoners, or experimented with seances and spirit boards. If you've ever wondered, "Hey, what the heck exactly is necrocannibalism?"
And get them on Mondays.
There's another Anarchs by you, Gum Gum. Hey. And it hurls like this warbling mass of chaotic energy at you. It hits AC 23, which I think is a hit. That's a high roll. Yeah. Okay. And it does 24 points of acid damage. Okay.
Okay. Gus has been sandbagging his rolls this whole time. You can see them. They're right in front of you. No, I'm saying previously. You were like, oh, I'm not doing well in these fights. You get, even then, you always... I can't look back then. I can't look back then. Are the Anarchs, these specific Anarchs, are they more powerful? Like, do they have, like, better rolls? Or are you just getting lucky to take them?
So it's getting lucky. Yeah, I mean, these are really good rolls. In fact, from a metagame perspective, Mike and I had a conversation where it's like, oh, I don't have the Anarch stat block in front of me. So he had to pull it from an old episode. Mm-hmm.
So it's the exact same old stat block. Okay. Good rolls. Copy that. So that's that Anarchs. Kyborg, you're up. Then a whole bunch of Anarchs. Okay. I'm going to heal myself with the totem thing, which is, what was it again? D6 plus five. D6. I rolled a D6, yeah? Yeah. You rolled a D6. That is a four plus five.
Nine. Nine. And then I'm going to do second wind, which is once per short rest, you can use a bonus action to regain 1d10 plus 16 HP. I'm going to roll my d10. Who says you need a healer on the team? Two healers. So that's an additional 20.
Boop. Okay. So you're at? I'm less than a third. Wait, what did second wind give you? One D10 plus 16? Yeah. So that should be 17. I rolled a four, didn't I? You rolled a one. The four was from your D6. The D10 was a one.
Okay, so then I got a minus three. That's three points of damage. Ouch. Cracked your finger. Yeah, that took, right? Who's fudging the dice rolls now? Oh my god. Okay, all right. So I'm going to take a shot with the longer bow of crystallina at the anarchs that are kind of teaming up on Gum Gum. Okay. How many are there over there? Six. Six.
Okay. Two of them have attacked, four of them have not. I assume you're going to hit one of them that has not attacked. Correctamundo, yes. Use this weapon to make a ranged attack. You can speak the command phrase forever, Winter. So claiming that someone is my mortal enemy, is that a bonus action if it's at the top? Like I haven't declared it yet, or is the bonus action only take effect...
When your sworn enemy dies, you can use a bonus action to call a new one. So am I good to call a sworn enemy? - Oh, the initial calling, no. - Okay. - It's only the reassignment. - Okay, well then I'm gonna take a shot at the guy that is next in line to take an attack.
who is over by Gum-Gum, and I'm going to say, Forever Winter! And he is my mortal enemy. Did Gum-Gum or did anyone use the Mantle of Inspiration to move, by the way? No? No. But Gum-Gum, you couldn't move anyway because you've already used your reaction. Okay. Yeah, I'm staying put. Okay, so I'm going to take a shot with that at that. Ka-chow. That's a 4. 18, but I'm going to have advantage because it's my mortal enemy. Blord. 21. That's a hit. Okay. Okay.
I'm gonna roll damage on that. That's gonna be 12 points of damage plus 46 cold. All right. And that's 14. So 26. That Anarchs falls down unmoving. Okay. I've already used my bonus action. So technically I have disadvantage on the next one. I'm gonna be a good little creature boy here. I'm gonna aim at the next guy that is also... What you suspect is the next guy. Sure. I'm gonna take a shot at disadvantage. That's a 28 and that's a...
34. You're at disadvantage. Your roll is a 28. Believe it or not, that hits. Okay. It's an eight. Eight points of damage. Okay. Yes. And then I'm going to take another shot at that guy. Also at disadvantage because I have a third attack. Okay. It's 28 and that's a 18. That hits. Okay. Great.
And that is 10. Okay. So a total of 10 plus 6, correct? Yeah. All right. That Anarchs is still up, but significantly weakened. Okay. It would be really stupid for me to action surge right now. Kyborg doing something really stupid? No. You know what, guys? No, I'm just kidding. Okay.
No, I want to be like full powered for my action surge. I want to say that that's it. I don't really want to move out of the radius of the thing that he's got going mud. So yeah. His name is Wilbur. His name is Wilbur. Yeah, that's me. That's you? Okay. Really quick. Did Cabot just have the fastest turn? That was pretty fast. Okay, just make sure. No. But I'm in time with Bart. I don't know if I was tied. That was pretty quick. We can call it a tie. Okay.
You did fine. All right. So it's one of the Anarchs' turn. Well, actually, it's three of them in a row here. What are they going to do? They're all around Gum-Gum, but they've been... Are they getting bored with Gum-Gum? That's fine. They might be. This rolls for me. They're not bored with Gum-Gum. All right. First one flails out at you. It takes the shape of an axe, Gum-Gum, and it strikes at you, hitting a C26, which I believe is a hit. Is this magic? I'm going to say...
No, but why are you asking? It's because the resistance to necrotic damage. It's not damage. It doesn't hurt you. So yeah, the axe connects with you. It doesn't hurt you, but you fall to the ground prone and close your eyes. I'm going to take a nap. Not the right time for it. Yeah, you all see, GumGum's been really weird. He has...
dropped everything in his hands, and now he's fallen to the ground and closed his eyes. Is he dead? I don't know. I mean, it's been a really long day. He's got a lot on his shoulders now. Well, in that case, the final two Anarchs would bound away now that you're laying down with your eyes closed. They don't know what's going on. They think you're dead.
It works perfectly. We are Anarchs. They bound off down to the south. They don't have enough movement to reach the party, but they're most of the way there. They're probably about 10 feet away from you guys at this point. God, I wish it could be my turn again. You should get one healing turn and one action turn. That should be the new rule of D&D. Mm-hmm.
Suddenly, you see Entropa's armor glisten and shine. The diadems look like they're reflecting the light from the portals, and the ground beneath you begins shaking everywhere. Everyone except for Gum-Gum make a dexterity saving throw. 26. Bart, you're just on top of those dexterity saves today. I'm short and stout. I've got good balance.
18. That's a 7, but I think I have another Indomitable ready to go. Well, that's a failure. Is mine a failure? Yes. I think 22 is a save. Is Mud a failure? Yes, I have an Indomitable. I'm going to retake that. Dexterity save. Saving throat. Johnny's a lucky instead. He's a witchy cat. Let's go. Don't know where she's to go. Nope. Roll to 1. Roll to 1. 6. Roll to 1. 6.
Good use, good use. The ground shakes. Bart, you managed to keep your footing. Gum-Gum, you're already lying down. Mud and Kyborg, you're unable to keep your footing and you're knocked prone to the ground. Okay, all right. My God. We're all digging that. Mud, it's your turn. Then after Mud is Gum-Gum. Mud stands up. Okay. That's my movement, right? Half my movement. Okay. Mud stands up and gets some health.
1d6 plus 5 because I'm still in my little guy's space. That's a 6. Nice. Until I break concentration or a minute. So 10 rounds. Mud! Mud! Mud! Mud!
Mud, don't break concentration. Am I within range? Mud, what did you have for dinner last night? Am I within range of an unarmed strike of kyborg? Yes. Okay, I take one unarmed strike of kyborg and I don't hold back at all. I was trying to look through all my spells. I have a lot of concentration spells. So I was trying to find any that don't have that effect.
So Gum-Gum is still surrounded by those Anarchs, yes? There are three of them around him. Yeah, three. Are the three... I need you to like... So if Gum-Gum's in the center, are the Anarchs surrounding him or are they maybe on one side of him? That kind of thing. They're probably all on one side because they all came from the portal and Gum-Gum ran up to the portal. I love that. So we would say they are just east of him and he's just west of them. Okay. Okay.
So with that in mind and being just a really accomplished magic casting druid, I'm going to cast erupting earth in a way that the 20 foot cube it's centered on ends at the Anarchs. Got it. So it would be East, like between the portal and them, but not all the way up to gum. Yes. And it hit the portal.
Portal too, huh? I said between. It's... It's creature in that area must make a dexterity saving throw. So portal's not a creature. Sorry, I was reading through. I'm going to cast this at level five because I want to do extra damage. So I need to make three saving throws. Three dexterity saving throws. Dex 18 saving throws. All right. These are all at minus two. So I need a 20. All three fail.
Yay! Then that means that all three do, uh, 5d12 bludgeoning damage. Additionally, the ground in that area becomes difficult terrain until cleared. Okay. So I will roll that damage to hurt you as much as possible. Big rolls! No whammy! No whammy! Oh. Oh!
Yes. 35. Oh, all three of those Anarchs explode into chaotic red energy. We were Anarchs. That's how we do it in the Bramble Cracks.
That's it. Oh, that's it? I was like, oh, I expected something else. That's it. Well, that was pretty eventful. Yeah. That was mud, gum gum, you're up, and then after gum gum is Entropa. Do these things that the portals are coming out of, do they look like anything that we could, like, break? These things that the portals are coming out of? Yeah, the portals that are shooting out the magic. The portals themselves. Are they structured? Yeah, there's, like, stone arches that the portals are in the middle of.
Right before combat started, it seemed like Entropa gathered up stone to make them and to make these islands and kind of coalesce the dais and moved everything into place. Okay. The stone that he put together, are they like... Like the archway? Yeah. What do they look like? Are they like solid stone or are they like something that could potentially be destroyed? Since it wasn't there a few minutes ago, it's like it's all...
constructed but not you know a mason didn't go up and make it and put mortar in there it's like the stones are being held together but it doesn't seem like in a way that they would hold naturally it seems almost like there's some kind of unseen force holding it together
Maybe I'll let someone with more spells play with that. I'll go after the, whatchamacallit, the two remaining? Anarchs? Is there two or three? There's two left. They ran away from you. You can reach them. They ran back towards the party. Yeah, I'll run that way, I guess. Oh, wait, can I get up and then pick up my stuff? Yeah, yes. I forgot about that.
So that's half my movement. Yes. How far away are they? Oh, right. Yeah, their movement is 30. So they're 30 feet away. Your movement's 40. So you have 20 left. Well, I guess I'll teleport over there and hit them. Use my bonus action, teleport over and recklessly attack whichever one is closest to my friends. Okay. And kind of get in between them. Sure. When you say get between them, you mean get between the Anarchs and the rest of the party. Okay. Yeah, absolutely.
And if I can get in that healing bubble. They are still about 10 feet away. So you would have to go like 10 feet beyond them to get back. Then I'll just get between them and then I'll Recklessly Attack. Okay. 29. 29, that's a hit. Okay. So that's 17 plus 3. 20. Yeah, you connect with the Anarchs and you just hear it go, Ow! Ow!
We are out. You are not nice. And then I'll hit him again. Okay. So you rolled a 19 to hit, correct? I think so. Yes, that does hit. Okay. So then 11 plus the three bonus rage. That Anarch explodes into chaotic red energy and disappears. Ah!
Bye-bye. At this point, how many Anarchs are still around? There is one remaining. Okay. And then I'll finish with that. That's it? Mm-hmm. Okay. It's everyone's favorite enemy, Entropa's turn. Woo! Entropa! Entropa!
You're number one! You're number one! Kyborg flashes his chest. There's just Entropa written on it. Entropa goes blind. A new spell, Nipples of Light. Gift of the Chromatic Nipple.
Entropa looks at the three of you, not Gum-Gum, looks at Mud, Kyborg, and Bart, and speaks a language you don't understand. All three of you need to make a constitution saving throw.
I'm guessing that doesn't do it. 11. 15. 23. Kyborg saves. Oh, thank God. But if I had the Epipple, do I take half of whatever this is going to be? If it's damage. If it's damage. So Kyborg, this doesn't apply to you. It does apply to Mud and Bark. You hearing these words in a language you don't understand just makes you feel really tired.
You gain one level of exhaustion. I believe you can add that on your character sheet. Yuck. Not that again. Under conditions? Yep. Yep. Was it a lullaby? Did he say a lullaby? No, nothing like it. And what effects does that have? I assume it's automatic effects once you... I think it's disadvantage or something. Yeah. You can redo your save at the start of each of your turns. Disadvantage on ability check. My concentration is so low. I hate this. All right.
If you get disadvantage, you have lucky. It's like you have super advantage. Oh, okay. So you should be lucky. Okay, cool. I only have three luck points. Yeah, but that's fine. I've gotten by on three luckies. And it ticks us off so bad. I hate it. I hate it. I haven't used them yet. There are people who have like visceral reactions to whispering and they are dying right now. Two seconds. I can handle it. I'm sorry. There you go. I'm not. I'm going to whisper more.
- In that case, Kyborg, once again Entropa opens his mouth and dark magic seems to like seep out and creep along the ground, encircling you. Make a constitution saving throw.
Goodness gracious. 21. Yeah, the dark void fails to coalesce. Gus's face is so angry. And dissipates. Okay, so then that makes Entropa incredibly angry that that spell did not work and that you've evaded two of his attacks, Kyborg. So he looks at all four of you and just says, As he is.
All four of you make a wisdom saving throw. Wisdom is my absolute worst. Could I use a lucky to reroll that? Absolutely. 17. 26. 16. 13. Mud is the only one who saved. Dang it. And what did he roll? A 26. 26.
They're high. They got to be like... I know. My modifiers are just so low. Yeah, me too. Plus 10. Plus zero. So all three of you, except for Mud, are just filled with rage. You're unable to control your anger bubbling up inside of you. And all three of you need to make a melee weapon attack against any ally within reach. Gum Gum, you don't have any enemies or any teammates within melee range, so you need to make a ranged weapon attack against...
Someone. What's he, you throw in his like his axe? Can I pick what it is? I think he has like a javelin. Yeah, just pick something. Okay. He's got ranged weapons. Okay. I have a bow and arrow, so I think I'll go do an unarmed strike. Hopefully. Right? Right? Can we do an unarmed strike?
He can because he normally has like a ranged weapon in his hand. I don't think you can because normally you have a melee weapon. I'm not pointing at Barbara. I do have a dagger and a longsword. Yeah, normally it's whatever you have in your hand. Right, so it would be with your dagger or your longsword. My longsword does less damage, so I think I'm equipped. Was one of them equipped? I think they're both equipped.
He's got both. It's another Kyborg shield. Bard's been running around with two swords in his hand the entire time. Yeah, why not? Yeah, they're both on. I mean, I could use one or the other. Just pick one. Okay.
And your attack is made with advantage. With advantage? Yes. One of our selling features of this show has always been, hey, it's D&D stuff for people who don't know how to play D&D because we never knew how to play D&D. I don't know who... We still don't. Who am I aiming for? You would pick either Mud or Kyborg. Who has been... I am... Anarchs. Okay. Okay.
Gift of the Bartholomew dragon. Born. Bartholomew born. Dragon born. Dragon born. You're dragon born. I was like, Bartholomew born. Uh,
- It was a 17. I assume that's a hit. - You have advantage to roll it again. - Yeah, you have an advantage. - I'm sorry, 24. - That's definitely a hit. - It would have hit either way. - But I only do one D8 of slashing. - Okay. - And it is a five. - But you get plus four rage bonus to that damage roll. - Nine. - Okay.
I tried to pick the lowest. All you did, Bart, was take away some temporary points that you gave me. I'm so angry. I'm so angry. Doesn't that make you angry, Kyborg? It makes me so angry. All right, guys, rage.
I'm okay. Come at me. Okay. I look around and I only have my longbow. So I'm going to punch you. No. And then I do an unarmed strike. Okay. We're running low. That's a 13. And then I get advantage. And that's a 17. That does hit. Okay. And then I do five damage plus four, nine. But I take half because my epipple. Oh, right. So when we typically roll those down, so four. So four. Okay. Okay.
Where do you punch him? Right in the thigh. Right in the thigh. Right. I was going to say in the arm, you know, the arm that I would have if Quadrant hadn't taken it. Punch Buggy and Tropa. Yeah. Yeah.
Gum-Gum. Let me know if this applies. Gum-Gum reaches... The start of every great turn. Gum-Gum reaches into his bag and grabs the first thing that he could throw. And the last thing he put in his bag was that ball that he caught of muds. The ball that he caught of muds? Mud threw a ball at me. When? Last episode? Like, the episode before. Where'd I get the ball? I don't remember. Oh, we were playing catch. Can I throw that?
Come on. At what? At you. Oh, yeah, yeah. Now I get it. Chris is trying to fudge this attack. Just throw a spear. Sure, why not? I don't want your stupid ball, bud! Fetch, doggy! So does that do damage? I'll do an unarmed strike. Yes. With advantage. So roll twice. Okay, that's a 20. All of a sudden we're getting with advantage when it's each other. 15. 15.
25. I rolled a 15 for 25. Yeah, I assume that hits. Yeah. So roll your unarmed strike damage. That's going to be 6 plus 30, so 9. It's actually plus 4. 10. It's plus 4. Because of the... He's been saying plus 4 the whole time. It's from this, yeah. So 10. Okay. All right. Entropa smiles at the chaos. I'm sure he does. And that's it for Entropa's turn. It's Bart and then Kyborg. And then the final Anarchs.
Did I just get... Oh, I guess Erupting Earth was the last time I did something? Right. Okay, got it. Yeah, I haven't done anything since I cured the wounds. Okay, then do stuff. All right, let's see this. I cast Draconic Transformation. Draconic Transformation.
With Aurora, you draw on the magic of dragons to transform yourself, taking on draconic features. You gain the following benefits until the spell ends. Blindsight. You have blindsight within range of 30 feet. Within that range, you could effectively see anything that isn't behind total cover, even if you're blinded or in darkness.
Moreover, you can see an invisible creature unless the creature successfully hides from you. Breath Weapon: When you cast this spell and as a bonus action on subsequent turns, you can exhale shimmering energy in a 60-foot cone. Each creature in that area must make a dexterity saving throw, taking 68 force damage on a failed save or half as much damage on a successful one. And Wings:
Incorporial wings sprout from your back, giving you flying speed of 60 feet. So, obviously, we have to hear this roar. Roar. Everybody in the party but Kyborg can sprout wings and fly now. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Hey, someday, buddy. I mean, someday, buddy. My voice also sounds like this now. You can't keep doing that. I can hear you straining already. I'm straining. How did you do this? Good morning from them.
All right, so now you're a dragon. What do you do with it? So if I'm looking at Entropa, is anyone or anything, like if there's a 60-foot essentially straight across line towards him, what's in my way? Like I said, he's contained in that sphere. So just that shimmering sphere. Would this not necessarily penetrate that? I guess what's the sphere made of? Unknown right now. Make an arcana check.
We haven't taken a shot at the intro burl either. Other than GumGum hit the bubble and could not go through. I just rolled an 11, so. I put my finger. The bubble, you teleported into his bubble. Oh, yeah. It's maybe some kind of magical sphere. You're not sure anything beyond that. Okay. It's glowing red. Glowing red. Do you have anything that could destroy the archways? I was going to go for the purr.
I tried to teleport in there and it bounced me off. Yeah, but that's teleportation now. It might just deflect. And what did you say I should go for? I was thinking maybe we'd go after the arches that are shooting. The portals? Did the portals appear with the, just on their own or did a dia gem appear above them? They just appeared on their own. All of the dia gems are in Entropa's armor. Gotcha. Yeah. All the dia gems are in Entropa's armor. Oh.
Okay. Could I maybe aim my breath weapon at the West portal? Could I reach it with 60 feet? The black one. Yeah. I really wish our audience could see whenever someone asks something of Gus and he can't see it very well. He pulls it close to him like an 80 year old. I'm going to look over the top of my glasses. He's looking over the top of his glasses. Oh, it's like, just imagine your grandma with her bifocals. That's what we're looking at right now. It's
It's very cute. And if not that, maybe the red portal on the east. I would say that both the portal to the west and the portal to the east are just within 60 feet of range. You can also, you have movement. Yeah, but... Oh, did you get your, um, to your healing! To your healing! My extra d6 plus 5, right? Yeah. Oh, 2, so 7. Thank you. Plus 5. Yeah, 2 plus, sorry.
Let's take out that red portal. Yeah. If I can. Could I shoot my breath? And not hit Gum-Gum. Oh, is Gum-Gum still in the way of that portal? Wait, did you say you're going after the west one? Well, is anyone in the way of either of them? Between you and the east portal is Gum-Gum and that one Anarchs. Okay. So we're going for the west one? I'll go for the west one. Yeah, there's nothing between you and the west one. Yeah.
Okay, I'm going to shoot it at it. So that's 68 force damage. I don't know if the portal could make a save. I'm going like for the little, there's like a gem on top of it. No, that's what you clarified. There's no gem, but there is a structure that is housing the portals. Correct. All of the die gems are on Entropa. He's infinity ultroning it right now.
So you focus your breath weapon and you spit it out, impacting that portal to the west. And what did it do specifically again? 6d8. 68 points of damage? No, 6d8 or 68. 6d8. Oh, got it. You gotta roll the damage. Yeah, roll 6d8. I just wanted to make sure I could do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And force damage? Force. Seems like a good one to hit. Yeah. You're gonna hit a bunch of rocks. 30. 30.
Okay, yeah, so it impacts the portal and you see, you know, the stream of power that's emanating from the portal going to the sphere around Entropa. You see like a disruption in it and it travels all the way down to the sphere and the sphere begins glowing and sparkling and giving off almost like little flecks of red are falling off. Okay.
Is the portal still streaming something to the pearl? Yes. How's that portal structurally? Do we need to get a repair guy in here to fix it? It looks unchanged. Huh. But it's flickering? The sphere itself that's between you and Entropa is now flickering. It did something.
Well, okay. So this is something I want to clarify about this spell. So this spell is a bonus action. Okay. And it says when you cast a spell, you can immediately use that breath. So does that mean as now an additional bonus action, I could also use that breath? Because the spell says when you cast a spell and as a bonus action on subsequent turn. Subsequent. Thank you. I can't say that word. Subsequent.
- I'm gonna say no. The intention behind that is that you can use it once per turn and every turn after the first time it becomes a bonus action. - Copy you. - But you would still have your bonus actions remaining 'cause you didn't use it this time?
I still have an action, technically. I believe you are correct. Look at Bard with all the different things that Bard can do in one turn. What's that called again? I can't find it. Draconic Transformation. Draconic. That's what I needed the statue for. Subsequent. Got it. Okay. Subsequent. It's cool, though. There it is. Thank you. So if a spell is instantaneous, if I'm doing another spell that is concentration, does it cancel?
Cancel out. So you can use another spell as long as it's not concentration. Okay. If you use another spell with concentration, then your Draconic Transformation drops. Okay. So I could use an instantaneous spell? As long as it doesn't say concentration. It doesn't.
Not. Yeah, and if you're looking at your list of spells, anyone that requires concentration has like a little black diamond with a C next to it. Okay, I don't see that here. Okay, you should be good then. Could I try to cast Feeble Mind on Entropa? It's possible I'm missing something on that since it's a brand new spell I just added for my 8th level spell slots. Yeah, you should be able to do that. Okay, it's not going to work. I am.
Yes, it is it actually I'm not I'm not no, I'm gonna cancel that. Okay He's got he's got a thing around him and I want it to work on him. I don't want to waste it True that. So instead I'm just gonna cast another mask here wounds Roll that bean footage. So that'll be 24 healing for everybody And then that is my turn good turn. Mm-hmm good turn and I'm still a dragon. Oh
Imagine Garnet as a dragon. If you can. Yeah. Next is Kyborg. And after Kyborg is an Anarchs. All right. I'm going to roll whatever. There's still one of those little suckers. Yeah. What's your, what's your heal again? D6 plus five. Everyone added that 24. Did.
Did. Plus five, that's 11. Cool. Okay, so Bart attacks the west arch and it seemed to make the magic flicker. Yeah, it caused like a disruption that traveled down the flow of magic to the sphere. Did Entropa, did that make him like throw his brow or make him a little concerned? The little sweat beads going down when that happens? Entropa seems to put it nicely, like he's a little unhinged at the moment. He's a little off his rocker.
I'm gonna go ahead and shoot that Anarchs that's in front of us with the longerbow of Crystallina. Oh my god. 15. That actually hits. Ha! Actually, no, I have to be honest. That was a one. Oh, oh, oh. If it's a one, no, that's an automatic miss then. Okay. Then I'll roll a lucky. There you go. I'm gonna shoot him again. Lucky boy. Uh, 23. That hits. Dewey. 11 points of damage. Okay. That Anarchs takes 11 points of damage. He's still good? He's still good. Okay. That Anarchs has not taken any damage up until this point.
Okay. Hit him again. 17. That connects. 9. That Anarchs explodes into red chaotic energy. Thank God. Okay. Um...
I don't know if I want to declare the acting skills of Gustavo Sorolla. I have such range. I don't know if I want to declare what's-his-face is my mortal enemy because I feel like I'm going to have to target one of these other things. But I just don't know if it's worth my time to target these things. So, team, what do you guys think? What things? The archways, the portals. I mean, it seemed to do something when I heard it. Yeah, that's the puzzle right now. We attack those and then we attack the pearl and then...
Something along those lines. Is it still unclear what Bart's breath did? I think that the pearl is probably getting power from the portals and he's probably getting power from the pearl.
It's like in WoW when you get to a boss encounter for the first time. Everyone needs to learn the phases. Please don't bring that nerd stuff in here. This is serious, okay? This is Dungeons and Dragons, guys. I'm going to use a bursting arrow on the west portal. I need you to say it like, bursting arrow. Bursting arrow. It's an arcane shot. I'm going to use a bursting arrow. Okay. Yeah.
19. I don't know if it's moving or not. What's the AC? Yeah, that hits. All right. And then that's, oh, eight, but I have piercer. So I get to reroll damage. If it's a one. All right. We roll that damage. All right. 10. What if you'd rolled a one again? Can you keep rerolling it? Maybe. I don't know. We're not going to get into it. All right. 10. All right. And then because that was a bursting arrow, that was an additional, what was it? 2d6. You tell me.
It's your move. This one's going to take forever. Your list of features and traits is very long. Dude, it's quite a bit. It's quite a bit. We need like a minority report level like screens in front of us with all of our stuff listed out. It also doesn't help that I have literally the smallest screen of the group. He's on his phone. Yeah. Listeners. Everyone else has either a laptop or a tablet that they're accessing it. It's also an iPhone 5. I don't know why he has that still. It's a 12 mini. It's a 12 mini. It's a 12 mini.
Where's my bursting z-
Oh, here it is. Oh, yeah, yeah, 2d6. Just confirming. I wasted all the time just to confirm what I already knew. That's eight points of damage. So a total of 18. Yeah. To which one did you do that to? The west one, the same one that Bart attacked. West one. Again, you see like a disruption in the flow of this energy transfer all the way down to the sphere, and the sphere seems to like fade and shimmer a bit. Sparks fly off of it, and it doesn't seem as solidly
red as it was before. Seems like it's weakening maybe. Okay. I think that I'm going to call that my turn because I don't want to action surge because I can't do any more like cool bursting arrows because I'm all out of arcane shots and it wouldn't make sense to declare what's his face might be quite yet. So that's me turn. That's me turn. Me, High Lord. Me, the mighty. Alright. Everyone hears like a really loud thunder clap.
originating from the middle near where everyone's standing. Everyone needs to make a constitution saving throw. - Yeah. - 24. - I'm gonna use another lucky to reroll that. - 18. - 15. - 20.
Okay, Kyborg and Bart made the save. Worth it. Thank you, Lucky. So then Mud and Gum-Gum, you hear this really loud thunderclap come out and hit you, and it seems to really hurt you, and you're going to take a little bit of thunder damage. Thunder damage! Thunder damage!
You take 15 points of thunder damage. And Gum Gum and Mud, you are both deafened until the end of your next turn. Oh, dear. What? We do jokes here. We used to get inspiration dice for jokes, but I guess that's gone now. I haven't gotten an inspiration dice in a long time. I know, I know. I'm stingy with them now. Mud, you're up, then Gum Gum. All right. What?
How big are these portals? I mean, probably 10 to 15 feet across and maybe just about as tall. Right. But it's like an archway, so it's not like a square or rectangle. It's tapered on the top edges. Lovely. All right. Then what I'd like to do is...
I'd like to give myself a little bit of healing because that little sucker is still here and I'm not going to do a concentration spell because I still want it. So I'm going to roll my D6 real quick and then I'm going to do something so cool. Yeah, that's a five plus five, 10. All right. I cast Bones of the Earth.
Bones of the Earth. You cause up to six pillars of stone to burst from places on the ground that you can see within range, 120 feet away from me. The ground where a pillar appears must be wide enough for its diameter, and you can target the ground under a creature if that creature is a medium or smaller. Each pillar has AC 5 and 30 hit points, and they take up their 5x5.
So what happens if I cast two of these pillars under each of these portals? And it says here, if a pillar is prevented from reaching its full height because of ceiling or other obstacle, a creature on that pillar takes 6d6 bludgeoning damage and is restrained, pinched between the pillar and the obstacle.
So I'm trying to target the portals as the thing it's going under. So either they erupt or they take that damage. Yeah, I'm going to say they're going to take the damage. So like the pillars start to come up, but they're kind of stopped, which would proc the damage aspect that we're talking about here. So you see the ground rumble, you see the pillars start to form, but then they're stopped and aren't able to fully extend.
instead doing damage to each portal/archway. Computing up to 12d6 since two under each of them. So do... Should I roll three rounds of 12d6? Yes, that's what I was trying to figure out how to calculate. Push the button a lot. Roll for West portal. Horn and rays. 42. Nice. Ouch. I don't like that. Poor little Westie. What did it do to you?
A lot, actually. North portal. Could you reach it? 50. Yep. 120 feet is the range. 50. Stop. I am powerful druid. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. East portal. 37. The red sphere discharges like lightning.
And it focuses back its energy towards Entropa and strikes him in the chest. Nice. And it knocks the red ruby out of his chest piece of armor. That's mine. And it flies away. He flies away? Just the ruby, the gem itself. Flies away out in the direction of the party. It's on the ground now. To find a new red lantern. She put it in Gum-Gum's crown. Yeah, or my arm.
Or mud's butt. Don't like where that conversation went. Only the east portal did something. The red sphere has disappeared. The portal has not changed color. What the heck? The red sphere. Oh, it's the sphere around him has gone too. Correct. Nice. That's what disappeared and discharged, causing the light and causing the red ruby to fly out of the chest. So the red diagem was the one that was doing the shield. Yes, yes, yes. And the purple one made all the portals appear.
anything else mud excellent turn no no can i take a quick moment to say what an idiot i am longer bow crystalline says nothing about how i get disadvantage on enemies that aren't my sworn enemies you just assumed that i just assumed that the only thing i could find on a previous version of the longbow was while your sworn enemy lives you have disadvantage on attack rolls with all other weapons oh i just completely invented well you you didn't make at least you didn't miss anything because of that you still hit all your attacks yeah but i'm just like
- Dumb, dumb, dumb. - Speaking of dumb, Gum Gum, it's your turn. - Hey-oh. - After Gum Gum, it's Entropa. - So the portal's gone. - No, no, no. - There's Red Shield. - That's what I meant. They're different things, words matter. - And the die gem is where? - It's on the ground near the party. - So I'm near the party too. - Yeah. - How far away? - I'm the party. - From you, it's probably 10 feet away on the ground. - Okay.
I'll put it in the crown. Can I do that? Yeah. Gum-Gum runs over, picks it up, and puts it in the crown. Shiny. It's almost like they were meant for each other. As you put the gem up close to the crown, it's like getting two magnets close to each other. Wow. A Valentine's Day miracle. And it attaches. Like, obviously, it was made to fit there. Did anything happen to Gum-Gum? The crown seems to get warm and glows a little bright. And kind of works you with jealousy. Yeah.
Used to be mobbed. The other die gems, where are they right now? On his armor. Yeah, they're in his armor. Oh, yeah, and make sure you add that to your inventory, by the way. It's the source die gem. You get advantage against constitution saving throws. What else do you want to know? It used to be mine, so I'm not jealous. It's fine. It's cool. Oh, yeah.
I'm gonna use my crown thing to get the wings. Okay, so luminous spectral wings sprout from your back. And then I wanna fly to Entropa. Okay. I wanna say, "Hi, I'm Gumb Gumb. I'm your son. Hi." And then give him a hug.
Okay, make like a touch attack just to see if... Unarmed strength. Yeah, you're able to wrap your arms around him. Audience at home, he's going to try to defeat him with the power of love. I don't know if this makes sense. Can I recklessly hug? No.
I'm gonna say no. I give a lot of leeway lots of times, I would say no on that one. - That's 18 then. No, sorry, 28. - 28, yeah. Yeah, you are able to wrap your arms around Entropa and give him a hug. His eyes almost seem like, it's almost like he doesn't see you. He's in such a fervor. - Okay.
Well, that's what my big plan was. It was a great plan. I was like, Gum-Gum, you're in the way! That's so good. For area of effect spells, for everything. I saw what he's going for, but... Gum-Gum, you're going to get real hurt. Interesting strategy. Let's see how this plays out. Stab, stab, stab, stab. Gum-Gum sends his regards. Can I attack?
One of the other portals. That's going to put you up for an attack of opportunity. No, I can teleport. That's right, your age. And then blip. So I'll teleport away and then recklessly attack one of the other portals. Which one? I guess the one on the left. The west one. Yeah, sure. So it's a 23 and...
- 22. - Yeah, that hits. - 14 damage. - Okay, yeah, you strike at the archway with the portal in it. And like we said earlier, the archways seem like they're being held up by magic. And even though they've taken damage, they still seem like they're in good shape, but you know, you attack at it. And it seems like even though the archway is strong, that it is having some kind of effect. - Okay, just to be clear, I wanna teleport on to the side that's like furthest away. - Opposite side of the portal. - Yeah. - To Entropa.
Gotcha. And that's it. Okay. I'm kind of behind cover then. Guys, I just hugged my dad! It's a big day for GumGum. You hugged both his mom and his dad all in the same day. How'd it work out? It was okay. I think he's angry. I think it's a normal experience for some kids meeting their dad for the first time. It hurt and felt good. Okay. I kissed him on the lips. I have to say it.
Entrope. Girl. Entrope. Girl. Entrope. Papa. There, that's the one. That's a good one. That's a good one. Entrope. All right. As the battle wages, you feel a soothing warmth pour over your bodies and you see the morning sun peeking over the horizon. And suddenly, the red mist, blue clouds, and black shadows stop pouring from the archways. You see the black gem fully crystallize above the dais. Entropa begins chanting, Sega, there.
Atropa's remaining armor and diegems clatter to the ground, save for his crimson crown. The black Entropurl flings straight into the center of his crown, and you feel the wind violently pick up around Atropa. Faster and faster, the gale swirls around him, growing taller, cloudier, and more crimson with every second. Within moments, Atropa has grown into a torrential tornado reaching high into the phasing sky.
Nuh-uh.
Well, if you're going to do anything, you have to do it in the next episode. Cyborg shoots an arrow at the tornado. Just grow wings like everyone else. Yeah. Are we going to mention what next episode is? I mean, yeah, it's the last episode. It's the finale? Of this campaign. Of this campaign. This is the part one, I suppose, of the finale. The next episode will be part two of the finale episode.
of the Infinite campaign, which we'll have a wrap-up episode after that to answer anybody's questions. No, the show isn't ending. Not even close. And no, we're not even taking a break from the action. So please continue to listen and share around. Watch our puppet videos. Yeah, the puppet videos are going to keep coming. If you're not following us on social, at StinkyDragonPod.
Yeah, get ready for some fun stuff for the next couple months. And if you could share our puppet videos and maybe like if you see someone in the comments, you're like, what is this? And oh, I should listen to this. You should really say, yeah, you should. Because we want to grow this community and this is a lot of fun. Heck yeah. We're also, just so the audience is aware, we're also in the talks with some new merch stuff coming up. And I don't want to say what items are coming because we've got some fun items until I get final approval that they're happening and when. But we do have some fun stuff
unique merch coming around well thanks for listening everyone hey guys bart here again and i just want to give a special thanks to some of our friends who provided vo for characters in today's episode we have dia voiced by the lovely bk black crystal on all social media platforms as well as entropa voiced by armando torres mondo does stuff on social media thank you guys so much
Lovely voices, not as lovely as mine, but you know, what can you do? Anyway, thanks for listening and be sure to tune in next time for the conclusion of the end finale of the entire campaign. But fret not my friends, this isn't the end of the show.
As was mentioned earlier, after the in finale, we will be doing a Between the Tales Q&A episode where we will be answering any questions from you, the audience, that you have about the entire Infinite campaign. So if you have a question for the cast, crew, or anything about D&D, post it on social media and use hashtag StinkyDragonPod and we may just mention your name and answer your question in the episode. Until next time, my friends, stay stinky.
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