C01 - Ep. 80 - Lost Dianasty - Fruits Of Lae-Bahoor
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Good afternoon, all you archdruids. Tree stride into the stinky dragon. Knock back our latest nightcap. Born to be wild shape. It's a mixture of mass curacao wounds, entangled tequila, animal message gin topped with fairy fire framboi. Framboi. Framboi. There you go. Keep that in. Framboi. It's a mixture of mass curacao wounds, entangled tequila, animal message gin topped with fairy fire framboi.

One bottle of this beastly booze, you'll hear nature calling sooner than you think. It was one of those words where I had to say it multiple times to get it right. Like, I knew what I needed to say. My mouth just wasn't doing it. That's how you know you get it right.

Previously, our adventurers caught up with Bart's decrepit dads. Next, they traveled to an Anarchs-filled herbloom and detoured to Embryoak Woods. But they encountered more Anarchs fighting fairly fairy-like locals. They managed to fend them off with the help from an old infinite acquaintance. Bring over a Bev and let's bounce back into our fragrant fae fables.

A horde of Anarchs emerges from a tunnel to the north and charges towards you all. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Out from the treetops leaps a hulking punchback wielding a tree trunk hammer and a glistening goblin. The towering Colossus lands on the ground with a boom, quaking the earth beneath you and wham! Her hammer pummels the handful of Anarchs into sizzling red dust. Oh, she's on her side. Oh, yeah. Wham!

Wham! Wham! Wham! She batters the red dust into the ground a few more times. The remaining Anarchs stop in their tracks and scatter back into the tunnel. The Herculean Hunchback screams into the air. Nothing can stop Grizzlies! Stop. Just stop. They're already gone. You leave? Come on. We gotta have a catchphrase. We used to do it all the time back when we were... The two heads turn and face you with a raised eyebrow. Infernoids?

Grizzly instinctively raises her tree trunk hammer and glares at you all. Oh. Do I know you? Have we fought before? We're the Infinites. Hi, I'm Kyborg. Big fan of your work. Not slinks, though. What?

Just in case. What business do you have in Pip Orchard or Embryo Woods, for that matter? We're looking for baby woods. That's where we are. Oh. We're coming to visit Bart's homeland. He was born here. The tree. We're also trying to track down... What's your dad's name? Dad. What's your dad's name?

It's like his real name. It's like Galindor. Yeah. But it's... I think it's just Galindar, isn't it? No. Galindor? Galindor. Galindor. Inspiration die for whoever remembers. Garador. Hey, there it is! Garador. Inspiration die for Chris. You already have one, though, I think. Magic card. Also, I don't think I should get an inspiration die for him. Yeah. Well, as far as GumGum knows, it's dad. It's very true. Technically, you thought us. Yes, that is correct. But it was under Daress's...

We do not mean you any harm. We don't mean anybody any harm here today. By the way, my name is Mud, and we are, in fact, the Infinites 2.0. In turn. Yeah. See, we were kind of looking for you guys for a while, but then, like, a lot of stuff happened, and we became the Infinites. We're not trying to take your jobs or anything. I'm trying to take your job.

Sounds like you did. Why not have Aiden for nights? Well, I mean, if you're going to say that, I'd have to ask where have you been to do your job? Yeah. How'd you survive the pyramid place that I can't remember? Escalon. Escalon. Escalon.

both grizzly and aleve seem to have like a pensive look in their eyes we don't remember that very well i don't either that makes two of us who do you work with as infinites in your hometown dr dr ahem of course we were with mayor prattle but then he and i

run my fingers through my throat. What did you do to Mayor Prattle? No, he died because of a Paralite who turns out is his daughter and I think he had some sort of cancer from Sangria Knight. Grizzly and Aleve both look at each other and exchange a nod. Do they bonk heads because their heads are so close together and they're sharing the same body? They time it. They alternate. So one's leaning back when the other one's leaning forward when they're nodding their heads. Oh, that's fun. Doing a dance. Hey, I'm doing this dance too.

Grizzly stows their goblet and hammer then reaches up toward their neck to a floral talisman. They seem to break it in half and flower petals and leaves swirl around Grizzly. The Herculean Hulk separates into two silhouettes closer to your height. Before you now stand a hunchbacked Earth Genasi and a lightfoot halfling with an eye patch. We've never met them in... We've never met you in your... Separate shapes? Separate forms, yeah. The leaf looks at you, Kyborg, and says...

I believe a proper introduction is in order. I am Marcy Burns, also known as E-Leave, the amender. E-Leave bows and gives Grizzly the side-eye. Were we supposed to make stage names? You're...

I forgot my last name, so I just said The Mighty. You are Gum-Gum as your stage name. That's my stage name? Well, I mean, it's not your birth name, so what's your stage name? I gave my name Glendorp. I don't know what it calls. Grizzly looks frustrated and interrupts.

I'm Bowbender, but I prefer Grizzly. She keeps a firm grasp on her bark-covered hammer. So we've met a leave. Yes. We saved you because you were acting like Mother... Abby. Yeah, Mother Abby. But we all got Grizzly. Wow. Yeah. I don't think we've ever seen you guys together, but not together. You know? As one. Are you guys a couple? You guys took that Spice Girls song really seriously, didn't you? Yeah.

wannabe i mean that's that too did everyone introduce themselves i think mud was about to i think i interrupted you i already introduced myself i was the top of the introduction this is our leader bart i'm bart hello bart stands up with his hands on his hips you are roughly the same height as aleve but you knew that you've met aleve before yep as uh mother abby i'm bart the quarterling

Quarterling? That's right. We're just as surprised as you are. Me too. It's new information to us. So do you not recall why you're here at the Embryoak Woods? Aleve seems more forthcoming and is the one who answers your question. Aleve says, We went back to Boulderae after the incident at the Echelon. Dr. Aham was unable to reverse this hex that was placed on us by Paralite, and he suggested we travel here to the Embryoak Woods.

He thought the brimming magic of the lands could help us, and sure enough, thanks to the local Pipixies and Taureans, we were able to separate back into our individual selves. How long ago was that? That you, like, made this journey and Dr. Met with Dr. Ahem? We went back to Boulderae on the Jebediah! Ugh. Wait, why did we not know? You all said that. Did we? Yeah, I asked you all what do you do with, uh, Grizzly at the time, and you said you would take them back to Boulderae.

Okay. I remember now. Yes, they went to a farm. Yeah. In your defense, you did not have any further encounters with Grizzly after that point. Okay. I guess so, yeah. This is a big farm. Because that was that period of time when time had passed. Yeah. And we kind of did a recap about what had happened. And I think you all just... We filled in the blanks. You filled in the blanks, yeah. To answer your question, Aleep says... Perhaps months. Okay. Wow. So what have you been doing here? Just hanging out? Well, after we were helped by the leader of the Taureans...

Branderhorn, and given this talisman that allows us to separate and combine our powers, we decided to stay around to become the protectors of the Embryoak Woods. And as of late, we have been fighting off these chaotic invaders. The Anarchs. Oh yeah, we've encountered those before. So you know, it's like playing a game of whack-a-nole. Squash one and two pop up in their place.

Yeah. It's a noble effort for you to become the heroes of this land. Pretty cool. Sorry we took your jobs. We used to have more help. It wasn't just us. Well, who else was here? Don't say sleek. The Taureans were helping us, but they have been cut off over in Morrow Meadows. How? We just haven't heard from them. There are too many Anarchs, and they are overrun. So would it be helpful if we were able to reconnect your, I don't know, connections? What?

Well, we are worried about them. They are our friends. We should go over there and help and see if they're okay. We're very good at helping people. Oh yeah, we're the best. And causing no collateral damage or deaths along the way. We have not killed any Infinites by mistake. You're alive.

Wait, speaking of, so where are the other two? It was Sleek and Spectral. Spectral. No. Right, but like, have you run into them or have you heard word of what happened to those two? Oh, we haven't seen them in ages. It's been a long time. It's been. I knew one of you was going to do that. You're welcome. You hear like a very faint coughing sound coming from somewhere near you. Oh.

Bart looks towards the coffin. You're not quite sure where it is. Make a perception check. Can I also help with this? Sure. Good coffee.

This gum gum draw weapon. 24. It seems like the coffee's coming from a nearby bush. It seems like there's a very faint sparkling coming from it. Is it one of the... What was it? Papixies? Papixies? Yeah. It's going to be like papary. I send Gumbo to investigate. Yeah, Gumbo goes through and finds a very small fairy-like creature with glistening wings. What's the state of the creature? It seems a little...

Beat up. Maybe it had an encounter with an Anarchs. Bart runs over to pick her up. It's a very small Pippixie. Are you Farn Gully? Are you here to save the forest? It looks at you and says, Bart? Wait, wait. Why does everybody know you? I don't know.

I don't know. My music skills must be transcending. I guess. This whole universe. Have we met? You remember, you did see this papixie recently. And she already learned my name. It introduced itself as HSD. When? At the pitch orchard? Yeah, right after the Anarchs. Oh, okay. You met HSD. But obviously, HSD is a little hurt. What you doing in the bush? HSD says. Oh, I'm just...

Tired. I need to rest and recuperate. Gum-Gum and Bart, would you be so kind as to take me to my lodgings? Yeah. Well, I guess all of you could take me. I don't know you guys. Do you want some potion, too? Oh, no. I'll be fine. I just need to get home and rest my weary bones. Gum-Gum just drowns in so much liquid. And you said it's...

H-S-D. Kenny Chesney. Can I pick up? By the way, my name is Mudd. Since you don't know who I am, now you do. Oh, a pleasure to meet you. Any friend of Gum Gum and Bart is a friend of mine. Can we take them to their lodging? Yeah, let's go to Smurf Village. Yeah, I'm covered.

It's not too far away. If you take me to my lodgings at the Orchard Edge, I'll be able to recuperate there. Are there other people like you? Other friends? People like me? Yeah, Papixies. Yes, of course. How many?

How many? What's a weird question? I'm just going to say that I agree. That's a weird question. As many as trees in the forest. Cool. Do you guys have like lanterns in your house or do you light up your own houses? Where did you live? Can we go? Can we just go? Just for my mind space, my mind's eye. Bart starts walking. Well, you make your way toward an orchard of short twinkling trees bearing unusual fruit.

A pair of pixies flutters past you and descend upon a tree at the end of a row. As you near the tree, you see a piece of dangling fruit is hanging off of the branch about to fall to the ground.

Oh, goodness me, Delil. I think it's a delivery. Now? But Emma, Mamma, neither of us have ever performed a delivery. Delil, there's three more squirming now. I think these are the quadruplets. HSD looks up at you all. Please, my friends, will you help my papixies deliver the babies? Absolutely. The fruit are the babies? Could Bart use his disguise kit to make himself look like a doctor? Absolutely. Roll, uh, what would that be? It's not like you're trying to deceive anyone, are you? Performance? Performance check, I guess? I'm a doctor. The 28th.

Oh, Dr. Bart is here. I'm a doctor too. Dr. Bart, medicine woman. I'm a rope doctor. Rope doctor. All right, I need 20 cc's of yerba mate. Yeah, you walk up there and you can see there are several fruit that appear to be, you know, fidgeting and on the verge of falling off the tree to the ground. I approach one. All right, repeat after me.

Who are you saying this to? To the tree. I approach one of them as well. You do as well, Mud? Yeah. I'll take the third one. I get my pillow, my little raggedy worship pillow and put it underneath the tree to hold it up in case it falls. Not on the ground, but in your hands. Yeah, yeah. In case the pixie gets lice, it dies. Yeah, Gum Gum's never done laundry.

Bart, as you're watching it intently, the fruit seems to snap off and fall to the ground. Make a reflex save to see if you can catch it in time. What would that be? Well, I'm talking to Bart. I assumed you went to a different one. There's multiple fruits. Oh. There's four. So how many of those are there? What's a reflex save? Dexterity. What would that be? Dexterity? I'm sorry. Did I say reflex? Yeah. Dexterity. I was like, is that a check? This far in the campaign and Gus is introducing new saves. And he said a saving throw? Let's make it a check. A check.

19. Yay. Oh, yeah. The fruit starts falling, but with your lightning fast reflexes, you're able to catch it before it's able to hit the ground. Wow. What is it? Well, you ask that and turn to look, but as you do that, the fruit that you're watching starts to fall as well.

I catch it. Okay. There was a brief moment where we stared at each other. It was like the end of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Just eyes staring at each other. What do I do? Make...

A dexterity check unless there's something else you want to do. Maybe. I don't know. What about a little flare? Is there a little flare I could do? You tell me. Don't put a flare in the baby. Is there water nearby? Yeah, because there would be an irrigation canal because of the trees. I cast shape water and I encapsulate it in a nice little pillow of water. Ooh. So do you make it just look like a cushion of water that envelops it as it falls? Yeah, like a little cradle.

Oh, yeah. There's no check for that or anything, right? You just do it? I do shape water. Water comes out. It seems like a picture like the abyss, almost like a pseudopod of water comes out and then reaches out under the tree and cushions its fall. James Cameron. Incorrect. Shape of water. That's really cool and all, Kyborg, but it almost distracts you from the fruit that's falling in front of you. I know.

I catch it! Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez. I'm gonna re-roll that. Oh, shucks. Oh, jeez. What are you doing? Get your skill checks. I rolled an eight, so I'm gonna roll... I'm gonna do a lucky to re-roll. He re-rolled an eight. I was confused because I didn't see that check on my screen for a second. I was like, who rolled dagger damage? It's a twelve. It's a twelve? It was a seven. Oh, I thought it looked like a one from here. Okay.

Okay. Yeah, you're looking at the water then you realize that your fruit is falling and you very quickly reach out to grab the fruit and catch it before it hits the ground. But you know you do that thing sometimes when you drop something and you accidentally punch it into the ground? Yeah. Your hand slams into the side of the fruit and it falls to the ground.

causing a small bruise to appear on the side of the fruit. And you hear a very tiny sound of a baby crying muffled in the fruit. Can I, like, hacky sack it off the ground and be like, oh, here you go, here you go. Make it worse. Make it worse. Slammed into the ground. Can you believe that, Gum-Gum? That would never happen to you and your pillow. Is that what happened to Gum-Gum? No, no, no. That would explain so much. I don't remember that.

As awful as that is, almost simultaneously your fruit starts falling down, Gum Gum, into your pillow. But it's not symmetrically weighted. It's a little uneven. So it starts rolling a little bit in the pillow. Make a dexterity check to make sure you can properly catch it on the pillow and hold it. That's a seven. Yikes. I thought you had better dex. Man, I even had a pillow and everything. It's not a great pillow. Don't you have inspiration dice? Can I just... Use your inspiration dice. For this?

Could I? I don't know. Could I just, like, drop to the ground and let it fall on me? No, this was the check. Hey, I'll use my inspiration die. Just hacky sack it. It'll be fine. Just punt it over the horizon. How do you do the thing where you kick your pencil? Oh, no, he rolled an 11. Oh, he's going to punch that thing. I could do something. What can you do? Well, lots of things. I'm waiting. I'm...

How much time did you do a lot for us catching fruit? It wasn't very long. Gum Gum thinks it's Fruit Ninja and slices it. Oh, my God. The hatching process was really quick on this one. What you got? I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm

The fruit hits the ground and a similar small bruise shows up and you hear a very muffled baby crying. This is why you need a licensed professional for all of your births. The two pixies that were there, Emma, Memma, and Delil, look shocked at the two that have fallen to the ground, but they quickly turn their attention to Bart and Mud and say, You need to whisper words of encouragement to the babies. That way they know to come out to your positive energy. Oh.

Shall I? Yeah, go for it. You are worthy. You are beautiful. You are loved. You have the best smelling hair out of anyone I know. That's specific. Makeup.

persuasion check Bart Nat 20 26 nice Ahmad what are your uh your words of encouragement you should know uh right from the start you're better off in my hands than the two dummies next to me who just dropped your two brothers and sister so you're already starting off well

Make a... Yeah, also make a persuasion check. Can I whisper words of encouragement to the one? You can whisper words of encouragement to the one if you want. In a second, I've got to finish up. Was it a wisdom check? Persuasion check. Persuasion check. Give me a V. Give me an I. Give me a C. That's a 22. Oh, nice. I'm very persuasive to fruit. Kyborg, did you want to as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you going to scream at the ground? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I crawl up to it on the ground and go...

Get off your feet! You can do it! I believe in you! You're not going to let this little fall keep you down! Come on! Yeah! You know, because I heard in studies, plants, if you yell at them, they grow faster than... I think it's classical music or birds chirping, but it's very close. It's classical music or it's screamo, but the screamo ones grow faster. So this one's going to be rigged. You know, I could have bet my life savings on the fact that you would have screamed at

At the fruit. I had a traumatic childhood and look how great I turned out. With your one arm. I'll give you the choice there, Kyborg. Can you make an intimidation or persuasion check with that? Let's do persuasion. Okay. Oh, wait. They're both charisma based. That's really not giving you much of a choice. Okay, I use intimidation and then I want to use my dread helm, which makes me, my eyes grow red. Oh, you have negative. And I think I get advantage. Yeah. So here we go. That's good. That's a 14 and I'm going to roll again because I got an advantage. Oh.

14. Man. Okay. Not the strongest rolls. I'm letting everyone go through before I continue with it. Gum, gum, are you going to yell at yours as well? No, I get down and I start crying. Sorry, little baby root. I promise if

Again. Emma, Memma, and the little dude chime in. They say... Actually, Gum-Gum, if you just call dibs, you can take it.

Are these are these your babies Emma lemon Gemma double? No, we're just here to help the person. Oh, did we do good? 50/50 right gum gum you can make a persuasion check on that exactly

16. Okay. You all did much better at your words of encouragement than your dexterity checks. The fruit seems to almost like its color becomes even more vibrant and it starts moving ever so gently. Emma, Memma, and Delil tell you all. Okay. Now it's time to softly break open the exterior. But be careful. Don't do it.

Too hard. This is going to go so well. Kyborg cracks his knuckles. So who wants to give it a shot first? I feel like Kyborg just called it. Kyborg, you want to go first? I have delicate surgical precision with my prosthetic arm. So I go about it and I pick it up. So you're not doing a strength check then? You're going to be doing like a sleight of hand check. I feel like there's emotional damage and there's physical damage. And I'll deal out emotional damage, but physical damage, I can't.

So slide a hand. Okay. All right. I'll get a slide of hand. 22. Oh, yeah. Okay. I'll let everyone roll before we resolve it. Who else wants to give it a shot? I have a question. Could I put my friendship bracelet around the base of the egg and cast... That's the fruit. Fruit. Sorry. Base of the fruit and then cast warding bond on it. You're going to put handcuffs around this fruit? No. Like, put the friendship kind of like as a base. Like...

Like you're putting the fruit on top of it? Yeah. Like a Fabergé. Yeah, and then cast Warding Bond so that it creates a mystic connection between you and the target until spells end. When the target is within 60 feet, it gains a plus one AC, same throws, and resistance to all damage. Also, each time it takes damage, I take the same amount of damage. Okay, yeah, let's go with it. So you put your friendship bracelet down and use a Warding Bond on your piece of fruit, and how are you going to approach opening it?

Okay, do I see it kicking or moving? It is very slowly moving. There is some slight rocking on it. Like a raptor X from Jurassic Park. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a good analogy. Come on, little one. Come on. There you go. Come on. Does it need physical, like, I guess I'll just look to see where it's starting to push through. Yeah, you do need to softly break open this husk. Okay, I'll look to see where it's kicking and then, like, kind of pull gently from there.

Or tap? Tap. Tap at first, and then if that doesn't work, then pull. Yeah, tapping doesn't seem to do anything. Then I'll gently kind of pull back. I will say it's... Jesus Christ. It's not an apple, but it's akin to an apple. Like, I don't know what you would pull. Okay, excuse me.

Like I'm trying to picture having an apple in front of you and peeling it by pulling a part off. I guess you could pinch a part and then try to go from there. Sure. That's pretty delicate. That's pretty soft. Why don't you try a... Eh, why not? Let's also do sleight of hand for that. You're going very delicately. 22. That's not 20. Pretty good. Yeah. All right. Mud or Bart, who wants to give it a shot? I will. All right. Bart, how are you going to approach that? Uh.

- What kind of fruit is it? - You don't think you've ever seen it before. It is similar, you know, in texture has a skin like an apple, but it's definitely not an apple. It's not, you know, it's a lot more round than it is pretty fragrant. - Tomato. - I guess I'll just try to peel it open gently. - You're gonna use the same pinching method or are you gonna use like a blade to peel it? - Well, I don't know if I should take a blade to this thing where there's a living creature inside. I'll peel it with my hands, pinching. - Okay. Yeah, make a slight hand check then. - 16. - Okay.

Pretty good. Mud, how are you going to approach it? I'm going to place the fruit on the ground, and I'm going to get down on the ground with it, and I'm going to have Gumbo come around, and he's going to help nibble little pieces away, and I'm going to help him as he pulls those away. That's smart. Yeah. And then he turns out a potato peeler. A surgical Gumbo. And he keeps eating it. Okay.

Gumbo stop. No, no, it's not. Fire it up, fire it up, fire it up. And you can talk to Gumbo, right? Like it's the communications. Perfect. Yep. Yeah, I guess just make a, I don't know. Let's just call it a, let's also call it a sleight of hand check. Why not? Oof. That was only a seven. I love the extremes, uh, different personalities in the party. Yeah.

I don't know. What's that? All right, so Kyborg, Gum-Gum, and Bart, you all open it ever so gingerly. Mud, I'm not going to put blame on either you or Gumbo, but someone was a little too overenthusiastic, and a yellow liquid starts seeping out from the fruit. It smells rather pungent and starts staining your hands. Oh. Out from each of the husks, you see tiny heads peek out. Some have feathers and begin to chirp, while others are covered in fur and purr.

As they each crawl out from the fruit, HSD looks down at them. "Oh, I believe these are Tabococrin. Half Taboxi, half Araucocrin. The cling bee family will be so happy. Come, let's bring them inside to the nursery."

You know when you just jam things into a word processing thing and tell it to say the words in a text-to-speech? It's when you're going in to make something and use lorem ipsum to fill. Yeah. That's what that is. What was the second? Half Taboxi? Taboxi? Half Ara Cochran. Okay, well, what's it take my baby into the nursery? Yeah. All of you follow Delil and Emma Memma out of the orchard into a hollowed-out tree trunk.

You start climbing a spiral staircase filled with echoes of cooing and jibber jabber coming from above. You reach the first flight and enter a lobby that literally branches off into various hallways and rooms. Throughout the lobby are all manner of infants and children crawling, flying, playing, speaking. The ceiling's a bit low and the furniture is smaller than you're used to, but otherwise it's quite cozy and warm with plenty of natural sunlight pouring in. Emma, Memma and Dalil offer to take the Tabba Cochran babies to their parents, waiting in a room nearby.

This is what it sounds like when you're a big fan of Star Trek and you just start naming off all the races and the planets and stuff. And people are like, sure, whatever, dude. It's called world building. You're doing a great job. Micah's doing a great job. Bye-bye, little roly-poly. Is that what you named it? Yeah.

Bart or Gum Gum, do you guys recognize this place? The nursery? Do we recognize it? Yeah, it seems familiar. Bart, you'd recognize this as the place where you all first met and spent time together. You all as in me and Gum Gum? Yeah, sorry, sorry. Bart and Gum Gum. Do you have any specific memories of a young Bart and a young Gum Gum spending time here? I thought the first place we met was the orphanage, but I guess it's not. I guess it was here. I think this is an orphanage.

Wait, is this the place I remember from that flashback where I picked up Gum Gum's boomba? Yes, this is an orchardage. Ha ha! Orchardage. Orchardage. The talking heads once said, this must be the place. So it's a birthing facility and an orphanage. Orchardage. Orchardage. Ha ha ha.

Hey, is there anybody milling about who looks official? Yeah, me. I'm a doctor. Yeah, Bart's a doctor. Sir, I have some questions about your facility. Sir, are you related to the newborn? I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I am not. This is not mine. What about you, Gum Gum? Do you remember anything from being a very young child here? Maybe something that you and Bart did together? Maybe a time you all got into trouble? It smells familiar. It smells familiar? Like it smells comfortable.

What if there's like a crib that's broken, it's got boogers all over it? It's like, I don't know which one I want, I want this.

Gum Gum remembers jumping a lot and running and playing. Oh. Something about you reminiscing about playing must attract attention. Make a dexterity saving throw. 11. 11. A young child runs by and tags you and says, You've been tagged. And your feet are no longer touching the ground. You start floating in the air towards the ceiling and he's pointing and laughing at you. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh no. They even laugh different over here. Zaha. Can I try and swim? Yeah. It's a very unusual position for you to be in. You don't know quite how to maneuver around. What kind of creature touched him? It's a young Ergenossi.

He looks at you, Mud, and then takes a swipe at you. Make a dexterity saving throw. I cast Gust of Wind and blow him away. Where have we encountered a Genasi before? Isn't that the dude that we put in the box? No, that was with Aaron Elemental. Grizzly is a Genasi. Gotcha. Okay.

On Earth Genasi, specifically. So do you cast Gust of Wind? Yeah. I saw what was happening and I had that prepared in my head. Like, nope. Okay, it needs to make a saving throw or be pushed up to five feet away from you. Yeah. Ooh, what is the save? 18. Ah, 15. You have a real high save. Okay, he takes a swipe as if he's going to tag you as well, but you cast Gust and it blows him back and he starts giggling uncontrollably as he starts floating around the room away and he floats past Gum-Gum. Hey.

This is fun. My name's Defcon. What's your name? I'm Gum-Gum. Oh, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. He tries to tag you again. Make a dexterity saving throw. Gum-Gum. Gum-Gum rage. 12.

Not good rolls today. Not at all. You begin floating up even more closer and closer to the ceiling, and Defcon twirls around in the air and points and laughs some more. I stick the immovable rod in his pants to make him stop floating around. In Gum-Gum's pants? Yeah. Oh, okay. I was really confused. All right. Yeah. Is that an immovable rod in your pants or are you just going to laugh?

Yeah, you put the rod in Gum-Gum to anchor him. And Death Con says, Oh, that's no fun. No, it's fun much. And then I hold on to it and spin, so I'm doing like circles around it. Make a dexterity check.

That's a 22. Nat 20. Oh, yeah, nice. He begins giggling and laughing and pointing. At this point, HSD says, I'm going to retire to my lodging upstairs. Whenever you all are done playing with DEFCON, you're free to come join me. Bart runs over to Gum Gum and say, It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal. You stole fizzy lifting drinks. You bumped into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized so you get nothing. You lose. I didn't hit the ceiling.

excellent reference i was wondering how to how to work it in uh you did it much better than i could have and then i turned to a chest and go what hsd says i'll be retiring to rest happy you're watching upstairs please when you're done playing with defcon you're more than welcome to join me upstairs and she uh flies up a small spiral staircase long career she had uh i guess

I guess I don't have anything to do with Defcon, so I head with her. Okay. The staircase is just off to the side, off to the southern portion of the lobby that you're in. Am I still floating or like, how is it? Oh, no. Now that you've done your spins, it seems like whatever magic was affecting you is wearing off and you start coming back down to the ground. Defcon.

Defcon, do you know who runs this place? Yeah, HSD. HSD, okay. I mean, are we able to fit upstairs even? Bart, you have a much easier time of it than everyone else. But yeah, it's pretty tight. When Mud follows HSD up, it's a very crowded space for somewhat of Mud's stature. Mud's also like doing the whole kind of like gingerly walk around trying not to get touched by any of these kids. Mud doesn't really care for kids. I feel that.

Defcon, do you have any cool lore or a neat backstory or are you gonna become a villain or do you know any villains? What a weird way of asking about someone's story. Do you have any lore? I'm like bending down, my hands are on my knees, I'm like, hey, little guy. Do you have a Wikipedia page that you can do? Do you have cool stories to tell? He says, yeah, I like to sneak sweets. Oh, okay. Where? In my mouth. Oh, I like this guy. Don't tell anyone. A friend of mine gave me this and I give some rock candy.

Oh yeah, you do have candy, don't you? Is that from the jail? Yes. From Sour Amy? Sour Amy? Defcon, here's prison candy. This was stolen from little kids, and now I'm giving it back. Oh, awesome. That's gum gum. Robbed from the kids, give to the kids. No, no, no. It's stolen from... Sour Amy stole from kids. Yeah. Defcon takes it, and without a second thought, just immediately begins shuffling it into his mouth. Yum. One of them a never-ending gobstopper? Mm-hmm.

I think no, the fortress is just rock candy. Defcon flies out of the lobby down to the south. He goes down one of the branching hallways. All right, I follow mud and bark. That's my last rock candy. Hey, rock candy well spent. You made the kid happy. Look at him. He's going to have a spaz attack outside. It's not sugar high. It's not your problem.

What's up, my little stinkers? If you like listening to this show and want us to continue telling more tales, help us out by spreading the word. And one way is to tell folks to follow us at StinkyDragonPod or on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and you can join the Cordial and Creative Stinky Dragon subreddit. Plus, if you post on social media using hashtag StinkyDragonPod, we might name an NPC in the show after you. You could end up being the next cutthroat creature or captivating character eternally told in the Tales from the Stinky Dragon. ♪

We just dropped the third Sticky Dragons soundtrack, White Winter. It's available on all your favorite music streaming platforms. Delve into the icy depths of Kaltberg, explore the enigmatic mysteries of the ethereal plane, and be bewildered by the beauty of Bartholomew the Bard. Plus, we've included encounter music using your own sessions of D&D with your friends. We hope you enjoy the music. Be sure to share it with your friends and loved ones.

I also grab my immovable rod so I don't leave it. Alright. You all climb the staircase once again and reach the next floor. You enter a dining room with a small table and chairs, each turned over. Beyond them is a set of stairs that lead up to a loft bed in disarray. To your right looks to be a kitchen. You don't see HSD in the immediate area.

I go to the kitchen, see if they got coffee made. Oh, yeah, you walk over to the kitchen and it doesn't appear to be coffee made. There are some like cupboards and doors opened up in the kitchen. You see a stone fireplace, but the flames are pink and floating and it doesn't seem like it's burning any wood. There's a nearby countertop strewn with tiny tattered clothes, scrolls and barrels. On the countertop?

Next to the weird pink fire? The pink fire is kind of like in a hearth on one side of the kitchen. Then on the countertop is the clothes and scrolls. And then kind of next to the counter is the barrels, empty barrels. That's a bizarre setting in a kitchen. Also, their bed's like in disarray and stuff. I wonder if there's something to be gleaned from all this. Are we in their quarters? Yeah, this appears to be HSD's living quarters. Has it been ransacked? Is HSD really HSD?

Chessie's not in here right now. Yeah, we don't see them. You don't see them. Yeah, you walked in kind of like to the, like a living room and then right next to it's the kitchen. That's really all you've seen. And then you see there's like a small staircase continuing up to what must be a bedroom. Can I just for the fun of it, use my wand of secrets? Yeah, I don't know what that is, but sure. You can use an action to expend one of his charges and if a secret door or trap is within 30 feet of you, the wand pulses and points at the one nearest to you. Cool.

Uh, yeah, you pull out your wand of secrets and use it. And it does pulse kind of over in the direction of the bedroom. Oh, well, that's fun. The bedroom is off to the side, but then there's more stairs that would go up to somewhere else. No, the bedroom is kind of at the top of the stairs. Okay. It's almost like a loft.

is the best way I could describe it. I follow my wand of secrets towards where it's pointing. You follow your wand of secrets up towards the bedroom, and as you reach it, it points at a wall next to the bed. There seems to be a secret door in this room. Would you all mind helping me trying to find where the heck this might be leading us to? Can I quickly glance at the documents that are on the kitchen counter and just kind of see what they're about? Yeah. Before we initiate this cutscene. It's like inventories for like food and clothing, uh,

attendance for the children and for various classes. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go help Mud with the secret door. I guess I'll join. Yeah. Is a Chesdy in the room? A Chesdy does not appear to be in the bedroom. Okay. So start reaching around for buttons or levers or anything. Start pulling books randomly. Everyone make a perception check. 19. 18. 13. 19. That's 20. 20.

19, that's 20? Yeah, it's a roll of 20. Minus one. So it's a 19. 19, that's 19. Bart and Gum-Gum, it's almost like some long forgotten memory. Your hands are running along the walls and you both instinctively kind of reach for the same area. There's like a small indentation in it and you both push your hands in. I've seen Hook. And you see that the wall is actually a door with hidden hinges and you're able to push on it and it swings in. Okay.

So we open it up. What do we see? Inside, you see HSD soaking her weary bones in a glowing green pool. Bart covers his private parts as if he just got exposed. Scattered throughout the pool are seeds and chunks of what look like some kind of green fruit. HSD says, Oh, you found me.

Hello. That's a bit of a weird thing to ask people to come up to your quarters and then go into your secret door bathroom area and take a bath. Maybe they were testing us. What you doing? Oh, I was feeling very weary and run down. I needed to recharge. So I poured myself a green, a pitbull juice bath. I feel much better. What is your bath behind a secret door? Oh, I've got to get away from the children sometimes. They come looking for me. It's a panic room. I got it. Kyborg takes like 10 steps back and then yells, Cannonball! Okay.

I like to imagine them because it's I assume they're small because it's a papixie yeah it's like a bird bath and you just jump and just shatter it the chesty is dead thank you so much for bringing me back to my home I don't know if I could have made that trek by myself I was so tired have you been working at this orchard for a long time

Oh, yeah. So, so many years. Years immeasurable. I started it. Whoa. You must be real old. That is great. Yeah. Do you by any chance remember myself and my friend here, Gum Gum? Of course. How could I forget? She lying. It's so good to see you. It's been so many years since you both have been here. You always said you were going to come back and visit, but you never did. But I'm glad you're here.

But I'm not holding it against you. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. I know you must be very busy. Yes. Saving the world and whatnot. I thought I was the only one with bad memory. Did you guys get upset if you can't remember that you said you'd come back? I just do. Do you remember my dad? I don't remember your parents. I know you were dropped off here many years ago. Oh, maybe, I don't know, 20 years?

It's very difficult for me to remember exact time. But you were dropped off by a traveler who was covered by a cloak. Never really got a good look at him. So was Gum Gum not born here from one of these fruits? No, no, no. He was dropped off by a traveler who was cloaked.

Oh, interesting. And you slept here for a long time. That's what I remember about you, Gum-Gum. That's why it's hard to keep track of time. You slept for so many years. I did? Gum-Gum was in a coma? And he never seemed to age. He was always a little baby sleeping. And no matter what we tried, we were never able to wake him. I just looked at both Bart and Gum-Gum just like, y'all are weird little guys. Apparently. Weirder than I initially thought. Speaking of apparently. Sorry.

He's so proud of that. When did I wake up? One day, out of the blue, you just started crying. And coincidentally, it was a day that Bart, you had come back to visit. You had also been dropped off here by...

traveler one night and we looked after you, but after several years you ran away and joined the crew of the Jebediah. Yeah, that's right. I thought Bart was actually born here. Wasn't that the whole ordeal with his dad? Well, he was and then he left and then he came back to visit. Wait, so the Archenage takes anybody, but you guys also grow kids outside? Yeah. Okay, thank you. I now understand what's going on. Wait, was the person that brought Bart back...

The same person that dropped off Gum Gum. So Bart was born here, but then was taken away and then got dropped off back. Oh, like a return policy. They didn't ask for store credit. They swapped another kid. How much did it pay when your parents got trapped? And we looked after you for a few years and then, you know, you departed on your own and tried to make your way in the world. And then one day you came back to visit and it just coincidentally happened to be that same day that Gum Gum started crying.

And then the two of you grew up and spent time together and then set out on your own. I suppose you have your own adventures to tell-tale of. I sure do. Too many to recount right now, of course. Oh, I'm sure we have plenty of time. I'm sure you'll tell me all about them. Do you have other babies who sleep a long time? No, that's very unusual.

Hmm. Weird. Have the Anarchs breached the perimeter? Have they gotten into the Orcanage at all yet? Presumably. I would imagine. I assume it's the Anarchs that have ransacked this place. I apologize. It's in quite disarray at the moment. Oh, so your house, someone was in here, and that's why it looks like crap? Yeah.

Yeah, I assume there were Anarchs here looking for the rare fruits that we grow, the epipples. Yeah, what's the benefit to those things other than to grow babies? Oh, they are very beneficial. I have two left, actually. I have a green epipple of invulnerability and a red epipple of superior healing. You can take them if you want. Invulnerability, please. Actually, no, no, no, yeah. We should get the part.

You guys take them. I'm too strong. I don't need them. Sure. I take the healing one. Okay, that's the red epipple of superior healing. Alright. I think Bart can have a vulnerability. I think Bart deserves it. Is that an actual item I can add? Yeah. Alright. And Bart, you get, I guess, you get the green epipple of invulnerability. You have like a purple epipple, a red epipple, blue. So how do you add that to mine? It should be, you should be able to find it if you... A-P-P-I-P-P. Yeah. A-P-P-I-P-P-L-A.

Do you know? IPP. IPP. You said I got the green one, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, you got the green epipple of invulnerability. How do you spell that again? A-P-P-I-P-P. Hey, Blaine, spell iCup.

No, I'm smart enough for that. Does the name Garador mean anything to you? Garador. Yeah, that name sounds familiar. I don't know if I ever met Garador. Maybe you should visit the Torians. They meet many travelers and maybe they know a Garador.

The Taurians. Speaking of the Taurians, have you heard from them lately? Because we have some other allies here and they said that they've gone radio silent. No, we've been cut off from them thanks to the Anarchs. Okay. Does it seem that the Anarchs are specifically coming here to take your peoples? Well, that's what they seem interested in whenever they come here. Right. I don't know beyond that. I have no idea what those things are. They haven't tried to hurt the kids or anything, have they? Oh, the kids are good at hiding. That's so sad. Wow. That's horribly sad. Do you have any way to protect them?

Besides hiding. Grizzly has been a great boon to us in culling the number of Anarchs. Yeah, it's our ally. Well, I mean, what we can offer is the same we offered to Grizzly was to head to the Torians and to try and reconnect your guys' communication with them. Maybe we can ask them about your dad. Oh, that would be great. You can head to them. They're off to the north. In fact, where we first met, where you encountered the Anarch,

If you go back there and then head north, you'll reach a dim tunnel. You can travel through there and you'll be close to the Taureans. Hey, real quick, lightning round. Eumanner, Inku, Entropa. Any of these ring a bell? All these things. No. What are those? This is favorite cereals. Oh. Don't tell the children. Of course.

Alright, that was fun. Let's go check out the historians. Ben just wrote sleeper agent activated.

Alright, so is everyone heading out? Yeah. Okay. You make your way back downstairs through the orchard and start heading north. You reach a dim tunnel. It's the same one that the Anarchs retreated through earlier. Everyone roll a perception check. Bombing at those today. You got this. Here it comes. Big roll by Kaiborg. 14 for Bart. 11 for Gunga. 13.

30. Geez. Wow. Gumm Gumm and Bart, you listen for any disturbances or creatures in the tunnel, but it seems fairly quiet. The tunnel's quite narrow, dark, and seems to wind a bit, making it really difficult to see ahead. What's it winding about? I'll take it on an inspiration dice if you want to give me one. Yeah, go ahead. You deserve one for that. Gumm Gumm, you think you catch a whiff of smoke coming from the tunnel.

Mud, you also as well. And Mud, on top of that, you swear you can hear the faintest sound of maybe music coming through the tunnel. What kind of music? It's so faint, you're not sure if you're imagining it. Okay. There seems to be possibly melodic tones coming from this tunnel. Or a fire. Or both. Or fire tunes. It's a dragon singing. Nice.

I suggest it's a dim tunnel. Yeah. Okay, Borg, you got them good old eyes. You want to take lead on this one? Yes, sir. See, with my crossed eyes. I got it. Bart runs forward. Bart doesn't have dark vision, does he? Nope. Just confidence. That was just some years ago. Yeah, with my dark vision, I lead the party. I also have dark vision if you don't want to be in front. I don't mind being in front. Okay.

I'm very strong. Speaking of which, what is the order you're going through here? Kaiborg will lead. Bart will go second. Then Gum Gum. Yep. I'll take up the raid. All right. Well, you all proceed into the dark tunnel, and before long, you realize that some of you may have to crawl to continue down the passage. What are you saying? Let me guess, not Bart. Not Bart. The ground feels quite dry, and, you know, as mud, as you're crawling, you notice your hands and knees are getting sullied with a black dust.

Like a set, maybe? Bart, the sending stone is going off. You get reception in here? Yeah. They got 6G. Bart goes, excuse me for a moment, gentlemen. Unique.

Woonique? That's what you heard. Woonique. Woonique. There's inkoo. Ink. Woonique. And then the banging metal, was that from the sending stone? Yes. We're not getting good messages from that thing. I really don't think Dr. Ahem's having a good time, whatever he's doing right now. Does it sound like Dr. Ahem? Yeah, it sounds like a beleaguered Dr. Ahem. Somebody give me a thesaurus. What does that mean? I would imagine like in pain and tired, maybe. Leak.

In a very difficult situation. Oh, so he's like, he's running maybe. Micah did not write beleaguered in the document. I decided to make it a little more difficult. I changed it to beleaguered, figuring that it would spawn a little bit of a conversation here. That's surprising because I was like, it sounds like a word that only Micah would know. Can you give us a taste of what it was again? Just...

Okay, I was just making sure you didn't say sleek. I just... The other two infinites showing back up. I just got to make sure. Is there anything that neek is like the first or last syllable of? It's got to be a name. Yeah, woonique.

There's got to be like a name or something that we're going to learn coming up. Could I use my ring of familiar bond and make Gumbo big? Yes. Okay. And can I ask Gumbo to let me know what he might be smelling in this tunnel? Sure. How big is Gumbo when you do this? Well, he's in large, so he goes up one category. So what is he, normal medium? Medium. Is he tiny? Extra medium. Is he small? Tiny. Tiny.

He's tiny? Yeah, so he goes from tiny to small. Okay. Well, his sniffer gets bigger. He begins sniffing and says, soot, burned wood. All right. How does he say that in badger, though? He's very angry about the soot, too. Badgers are always mad. That's the thing about them. You speak Draconic, too? I know I do.

Khyberg, what do you see in the front? I continue on. Eventually, you come around a bend and you see a faint light coming from the end of the tunnel. The exit seems only narrow enough for one person at a time. Luckily, you have your order established. You shimmy your way up out of the tunnel and arrive in a field of gnarly roots poking out of the ground, but there don't seem to be any trees, just a lingering haze. Have the trees been, like, burnt down or destroyed? Were there trees here, or is it just, like, a clearing? Uh, make a...

Perception check. Or are we all out? Yeah. Okay. 25, not 20. Yeah, you notice that there does seem to have been a fire here. And these roots that are poking out of the ground seem to be charred and singed. That's the one. Okay. Looks like there's a fire here. Maybe an arcs because they kind of have fire qualities, right? Has the music gotten louder? Make a perception check. Okay.

Because we love rolling dice. This is a perception episode. It's only a 13. Yeah, I will say the music has gotten louder, so it's easier to notice. It seems to be coming from the north a little ways. The genre. So we see all the stuff as a burned. Singed. Singed. Singed. Dragon. Oh, man. We already dealt with one. Should we just continue to the north? Yeah. Yeah. Everyone make me a wisdom check just for fun. I like fun. I don't think he does.

18. It's not all perceptions. It's sometimes wisdom. 20. 15. Two. How did you all roll so well? You all have terrible wisdom, don't you? No, he got two. He did not roll well. I only have a plus three to wisdom. I got this many. I had 16. I rolled a 16, so... Nice. Well, Mud and Bart, something about these roots seems familiar. It triggers a memory. Do you remember...

Seeing something like this in the past with Spectral, when you visited the ethereal plane. Is this one of those places where you touch the roots and you get memories? It seems like it. It seems like the same kind of place. Those can happen outside of the ethereal plane. It's very different now. You know, like you said, last time you visited was in the ethereal plane. And it just seems something's different about the place. Maybe it's because you're in a different plane. I don't know. Yeah.

Okay. Can I try touching the roots? See if anything happens? Little memories? Yeah, make a constitution saving throw. Uh-oh. Oh, God, I had advantage on those before I lost my diet. Maybe he was saying Bow Link. What? Sorry. No, that's not it. No, don't apologize. I was just thinking. 21. Yeah, your hands just become covered in like a soot, but nothing seems to come to your mind. Should I try? Oh, wait, no. I think I passed pretty well. Okay. Yeah, let's proceed towards where the music's coming from. Or

Mud proceeds to where the music's coming from. Towards the north? Yeah. If you proceed, we all proceed because you're behind us. I push forward. I push everybody forward. Well, you're not in the tunnel anymore. You've come out. Ghost, do I hear a lute? You don't hear the music. Mud heard the music. John, do you hear a lute? John doesn't exist in this world. Mud, do you hear a lute by any chance? No, you do not hear a lute. I totally hear a lute. Do you guys hear it too?

Bart realizes he's playing. It's like horror strings. Compulsive. Yeah, let's just keep going. I'm curious. You make your way northward. You hear the music gradually getting louder. At this point, everyone can hear it. It sounds like pan pipes and the tune feels familiar. You peer through the haze and suddenly spot a window silhouetted with flickering candlelight.

You inch a bit closer to get a better look and come upon a patch of violet flowers. Okay. Oh, is this what's-his-face from, uh, Urbloom? The centaur and his, his dude. Mud, you hear music. It sounds like panpipes and the tune feels familiar. You peer through the haze and suddenly spot a window silhouetted with flickering candlelight. You inch a bit closer to get a better look and come upon a patch of violet flowers. Yeah, those are the remember, remember, whatever they call the stupid flowers that may just go back in time. Nope, that's a Harry Potter thing. Uh,

Deja violets? Yes! Look at that. It was the deja violets. Okay, cool. Wait, so how do we just held on to it, right? If you let go of it and that's when it triggers? I think I use my mage hand to scoop them up. That's right. Unless I'm thinking of some other flowers that we... You are correct, Barbara. But it's like a whole patch of them. Yeah, it seems like they're all around.

between you and this window that you see. I have a way to deal with this, but it's a very permanent way of dealing with this. Will you fly or are you going to scorch the flowers? We should probably scorch the flowers. All right. Wait, wait, wait. Are they bad? Yeah. No. Not necessarily. I mean, they're making everything repeat itself and probably cause an endless loop.

So I would say it's not great. I would say let's try to peek into the window before we go and destroy plants. Sure, try that. Yeah, go ahead. Can I borrow your immovable rod? Yeah, why not here? There you go. Okay. How far away is the window? There's probably, let's say, 35 feet.

So it was going to like jump, right? And then catch the removal rod and then do a spin and then finish the jump like a double jump and then grab onto the windowsill and look in like a little creeper. Like a gymnast. Yeah. Let's do some gymnastics. The music suddenly stops and the window opens. A hazy head with horns leans out and begins singing. Oh, my dear. Our love is strong. Surely it would last a song. But God forbid.

bid the sun should blank how could it ever be replayed perhaps the tune need not be vast slow the clock from ticking fast the song would play till we were blank our love would be all that was left finish the lyrics

As in like what we said forever ago? Okay. Your chin is so handsome, it is cleft. I don't know. I'm trying to like rhyme with left. You want us to fill in the blanks? Finish the lyrics! Oh my dear, our love is strong. Surely it would last a song. But God forbid the song should blank. How could it ever be replayed? Perhaps the tune need not be vast. Just slow the clock from ticking fast. The song would play till we were blank. Our love would be all that was left. So we got left and plumped.

Played. Blast and replayed. Yeah, are the two things we need to rhyme with. Delayed. I'll let you all huddle before we start shouting it. Delayed. Didn't we already do this? We did this a long time ago. I think to the point where I have handwritten notes for it, but not text-based notes. They're in the archives. Yes, yes, yes. They're during your physical medium phase. Kool-Aid. No, no. Gatorade.

What was the line? What's the word we're filling in? Something. Wait, what was? I don't remember what the line was. But God forbid the song should blank. Fade. Fade. Fade. The song would play till we were blank. This one rhymes with left, I think. No. Our love would be all that was left. So what's the line that we're filling in? The song would play till we were blank. Till we were... Death? Death?

Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Yep. Is that your final answer? What are you typing? I was typing down the things. I'm looking at... It's a rhyme zone. Are you Googling rhymes? Till we were deft? Yeah. Till we were left. Left. So what are y'all going with? Are you still thinking about it? Um...

I don't think deft would be it. Yeah, that doesn't sound right. Maybe just deft. Can we say the line one more time, Gus? The song would play till we were blank. The song would play till we were... Don't know. Let's go deft. Miffed. All right, so you're going fade and deft? Am I remembering that right? Sure. A silvery mist surrounds you.

Aww.

Guten Tag strangers. How do you know my song? We've met. Yeah, how do you not remember us? Yeah, don't you remember us? How did we meet? A giant owl picked you up. I shot it and then you fell down and you've got memory loss. I remember that much. We found, wait, is it the centaur talking or the satyr? It's the centaur. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Satyr, satyr. Well, we found the centaur at the shop and brought him back to you. Remember that?

Oh, of course. How could I forget you? Interns. Not anymore. Promoted. That's right. We got hired. Ooh. Yeah. Straight up infinites now. Oh, Wilhelm looks very happy to see you. He goes in for a group hug. Pip whinnies cheerfully and you see Howie looking off into the distance.

Please, please, come warm yourselves by the fire. Help yourself to some of my special Glirvine. Hang over the fireplace to see two copper kettles of simmering red liquid and a few empty mugs. And Wilhelm himself is sipping on a hot drink. Yeah, I'll grab one too. Wait, this isn't based off of the Deja Violets, is it? It's drink? No, no, no. Heavens no. Okay.

I mean, this one isn't. I do sometimes make it with the Deja Vilas, but this one does not. Okay, I'll drink some. What are you doing here? You ask that, and as you're asking that, Howie leans in and whispers something into Wilhelm's ear, and Wilhelm turns to him. These are our friends, Howie, Bart, Gum-Gum, Kyborg, and Mud. Don't you remember meeting them in Urbloom?

Howie smiles sheepishly and nods and sits down and slips on his Glurvine. You have to forgive Howie. His memory has only gotten worse since you last saw him. I'm sorry. We're trying to keep a low profile here. What are you doing here? Remember Hugh Manor? He was raising some heck. He was like one of the leads of the, what was the glass place? Yeah. It's his fault that we're here. Oh,

We're currently hunting him. We're on a manhunt. Good. Did he trap you here? Well, no. He was in jail in Urbloom and Meld became the new guild head and everything was great in the city. But one day, the Glockentower chimed an alarm and screams erupted around town because Hugh Manor was on the loose. And before we could act, the city was overrun with a swarm of red creatures calling themselves Anarchs.

They ran rampant throughout the district, wreaking havoc and burning buildings and attacking people. So we fled and we found refuge here. A Chesney told us about the roots of reminisce and how they might help Howie with his memory loss. So we arrived. The roots seem to help Howie's recall. So we built this cabin. But.

Right as we started to settle in, the Anarchs showed up here, ambushed us, and burnt nearly all the roots to a crisp. If the Anarchs let Hugh Manor out, and the Anarchs are creatures of chaotic energy and might be connected to Entropa, then that means that Hugh Manor might be working with Entropa as well. Well, we don't know that the Anarchs work for Hugh Manor, or if it's a coincidence, or if they just showed up and Hugh Manor seized the opportunity to escape. I said that.

They have no further definite answer on that. Well, anywho, we're here to stop that because it's like affecting other lands as well. So we're also looking for a Garidor. Garidor. I don't know of a Garidor, but perhaps we could experiment with what's left of the roots and make a mixture with my Deja Violets. And maybe you can find the answers you're looking for in the past. Okay. Yeah. Let's do that. Just bring me a few Deja Violets and dig up some of the roots from outside.

Mage Hand. Mage Hand. Yep. Thanks, Bart. Bart does the...

and sends his mage hand off to get a scoop of flowers. Great. Who's going to get the roots? Wilhelm, would you mind doing the opposite of what you did to get us in here to get me outside? Okay, you can use the door too, but I can send you back out. You've got flowers out there that will send me back in time every time I try to leave your cabin. The way it's laid out, now that you're inside, you can probably deduce that the flowers are there as a buffer to keep people from approaching the cabin. Okay.

Okay, so there are roots within that perimeter? You can go out without being affected by the detail violence. I head outside. Gum-Gum bites off some of the roots and hands them to me, and I take them in. You said Gum-Gum. Do you mean Gumbo? I keep saying that. Gumbo. Gumbo. Gumbo.

Yeah, since you've done this before, Bart, you know how to safely handle the Deja Violets with Mage Hand. I do. You bring the Deja Violets and the roots back inside, and Wilhelm says, okay, now you just need to crush the flowers and the roots together and make a powder for me. While this is going on, he's working over the fire, making something.

I give him the kyborg. No, probably more mage hand because they're still deja violets. Okay. I hand the roots to the mage hand. Oh, I see. You hand the roots to the mage hand. Are you going to use the mage hand to crush them together, Bart? Sure am. If I can. Yeah, make a medicine check. What are those little bowls? Am I still dressed as a doctor? Mortar and pestle. That's the one. I don't know. That's up to you. Are you? I am still dressed as a doctor.

We'll give you advantage then because you're dressed as a doctor. Excellent. That's all you got to do is just look like one. Yeah, not 20, 25. His performance role was so good as a doctor that he gave himself the confidence. It's all about self-confidence and believing in yourself. Yeah.

Anyone can be a- can do surgery with confidence. Yeah, just wear a doctor's outfit. A lot of people in the pandemic thought the same thing. Uh, yeah, Bart, you instruct your mage hand to crush the flowers and roots together, and it creates a powder. Wilhelm comes over and grabs the powder and mixes it into something that he's mixing over the fire, and makes a liquid out of it, and pours it into some glasses.

and says, here, I'll let you drink this. Perhaps you can find the answer to who Garidor is in your past. Well, cheers. Cheers to you. And I down it. Cheers to Matt.

Bart whips out a straw and takes sips. Mmm, little sippy cup. Kyborg, you too? Yeah, I put it in our protein shaker, add a little whey. No whey. Your surroundings blur past you, swirling into a soup of colors, shapes, and sounds and smells. It feels like the world around you is expanding in every direction until everything slows down to a halt.

Cydelius, everything feels extremely hazy. You can only catch glimpses of what feels like memories. You see snowflakes falling all around you and look up to see a blood-red moon shining brightly over the woods. Next, you see a cloaked stranger approach you saying something. No harm, handsome. Then the cloaked stranger is suddenly next to you, tending to your shoulder, singing a song. Yom Sidmon Theo Dressness of light

I'm gonna listen to this backwards after. Yeah. Finally you- there's no way I could successfully say something backwards without like backmasking it ahead of time. Finally you look down to see you have a new iron arm attached to your right shoulder and you hear the stranger say something. A draconic song. Okay.

Thanks. He has to do the thing where he puts his finger up on his lips and goes, shh. So I am a child in this moment. Well, no, you could try. Younger. I guess. Okay. Well, then I sing it. I just sing a draconic song to them. What does it sound like? You're taking requests? Yeah. Okay.

So stupid. One more time. Everyone together. The memory fades away. Bart, it feels the same for you. Very murky. And you're only catching vignettes of memories. You smell the briny ocean and hear the unmistakable sound of the wind in the sails of the Jebediah.

Next you find yourself below deck playing and singing a merry tune for the crew. You finish the song and the crew claps heartily. Amongst the crew you spot a cloaked figure and they too are clapping. Then suddenly you're manning the helm of the ship and see Captain Marge talking to the cloaked stranger at the bow of the ship. You think you hear the stranger say "Embryoog" then suddenly you hear the chirping of birds and feel the warmth of the sun. You're holding an infant half-orc in your arms singing to them while they suck on a rock.

That's scorpions. I said Def-Lock for down bears. Cut that, cut that. No, no, keep it. The memory fades, Bart. Mud, everything goes foggy and a flash of memories fill your senses. You hear the trickling of rain and the squelching of your feet trudging through mire. Then the rain stops and you're looking square in the eyes of a brown bear, but you see a streak of pink in its hair and realize you're seeing your own reflection in a puddle of water.

Suddenly you hear a "CLANG" and quickly turn around to see a cloaked figure stumbling near your pack and campfire. You instinctively roar and the stranger drops something then runs off into the thickets. Next you're looking down at your campfire and see that some dirt has fallen in your coffee mug and there's a note attached to your pack. One word on the note stands out amongst the rest: "Internship."

Interesting. Do I get to look to see what they dropped? Yeah, you turn to look and the memory fades. Ah, dang it. That's a very important person in all of our lives. Gum-Gum, the haze dissipates and you hear something in the distance. You wiggle around off your stomach and though the room around you appears to be enormous, you see everything quite clearly. You're in a crib, glowing with twinkling lights floating overhead.

There's toys strewn about on the floor. What kind of toys do you think you would see? How old am I at this point? You're in a crib, so you must be very, very small. It's just a bunch of chew toys. Yeah, like stuff that looks like fruit and little flowers. Maybe a He-Man action figure. Maybe some Legos. Stretch Armstrong. You continue to hear barking outside the window.

Can I crawl to the window? Yeah, make a strength check to see if you can get out of the crib. How strong is this baby? Yeah, let's find out. Pretty strong. Oh wait, I did the wrong thing. Strength save. That's 18 if you did the first one. No, it's a nine for the first one. Yeah, nine for the, yeah, sorry. You struggle and you can't get over the crib. It's just way too high for you. And you feel your fists and face clench up and a surge of energy rushes through your body and you begin levitating up and out of the crib.

and then can I move towards the window? Yeah, you're able to, now that you're levitating, able to easily reach the window and you look up to see a crescent moon wrapped in fluffy clouds quickly brushing across the night sky. You hear some more barking and look down and see rows and rows of radiant flowers, vines, and other plants.

At the far end of the road closest to you, you see a scruffy little puppy caught in some vines. Can I bark at it and then try and like climb down to it? Yeah, well, you don't have to climb. You're levitating. Yeah. Without thinking, you crash through the window heading towards the puppy. You approach the scruffy little puppy whimpering and struggling in the vines. And before you can help the poor thing, it starts growing.

It rapidly gets larger and larger, matted and feral hair stretching out across its now beastly body. The vines easily snap off of it, its eyes turn a shade of crimson red, and the massive monster bares its teeth at you. You feel the fangs sink into your arm, and a mixture of sharp pain and drowsiness washes over you. With a whoosh, you all wake up and see you're back in Wilhelm's cabin, each sitting by the cozy fire. All of you except for Gum-Gum.

The three of you look over and see your half-orc friend in a fixed trance. His eyes turn red, his body begins to convulse violently, and you hear him silently scream two words. What words do you scream, Gum-Gum? Ouchie! What does it all mean? Find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm so confused right now. Ouchie!

Who's that figure? Who's that figure? Who's that girl? Who is it? Don't think it. Didn't you say Hansel? No, no. That was something that was whispered at one point. Oh, yeah. To Kyborg. To Kyborg, yeah. Or Kydelius. Yeah, I don't know. The only answers you should be able to get are found in the next episode.

Here's a quick shout out to folks that interacted with us on social media recently. Here's some NPCs named after them in this episode. HSD, the matriarch Papixies named after HSD, like the letters, get it?

Dillil and EmmaMemma are the nursing pipixies named after at DillEmma. The clingbees family with quadruplets is named after at clingybees. BrandoHornTheTaurians named after user BigBrando1840. DefQonTheKidPlayingFloatTag is named after user DefQon1191. And PipDipQ.

Scream, the child satyr is named after at Pip Punk. We also want to give a special thanks to some friends who provided voiceover for characters in this episode, like Grizzly, voiced by Isa Badiola, and Aleve, voiced by Jessica Vasami. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. ♪