C01 - Ep. 73 - Of Life & Breath - Naval-Gazing
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This is a Rooster Teeth production. Good evening to all you Empyreans. Walk, swim, or fly under the stinky dragon and buy our latest Bev Loosen Titan Toddy. It's a mixture of heaven comb honey, marbleized sugar, frozen chunks of the upper plains, and sparkling bolt secco wine. One sip of the celestial sauce is stiffer than a stone statue's upper lip.

Previously, our adventurers met up with some old friends and formulated a two-pronged plan of action. They set sail aboard the Jebediah, bolstered equipment with Besler, and found the border of Tatora. But can they penetrate this impervious palisade and fight off a fleet of dragonborn ships? Grab a grog and let's get on with this odoriferous odyssey!

I'm going to date this episode by making this reference, but with you yelling out that today's drink of choice, it's making me go, now I want you to do that voice, but do the...

A Negroni Spagliato. He's looking at me like he has no idea what this meme is. Gus, get on the internet. It's stunning. Oh, stunning. I still have no idea. I have to show it to you after the episode. Jesus. Your job is to be a TikTok artist. It's two of the cast members of House of Dragon talking about what their favorite drinks were in like an interview. Oh.

The unfortunate part is even saying it now it's dated. So like when this episode comes out, oh boy. Lovely. Lovely. Stunning. I'm curious to check it out then. Thank you, John, for keeping me up to date on the latest out of date TikTok references. Basically, it's how a lot of people discovered they were bisexual. I think in that clip.

That's what me as your 38-year-old friend is here to do, okay? I'm here to keep you up to date on the latest cool stuff. Who keeps you up to date? Is it like nesting dolls going all the way down? Yeah, it's like at this point, Kayla and Blizz. Or my children. I literally get to learn things from my children.

Well, you can teach them Dungeons and Dragons because you're a professional D&D player. I am a professional D&D-er. And we're about to get into it. So where we left off, you guys were going through the test.

that the Dragonborn scouts were performing on the deck of the Jebediah in order to get into Tora, Bart used a minor illusion and managed to pass the test. And Gum-Gum blew it. And Gum-Gum just screwed up for all of us. Yeah, Gum-Gum. Well, just screwed it up for all of us. Before everyone starts fighting, could I just run off the side of the cliff? Well, Gus already said roll for initiative. I know. Uh,

Oh, right. We already rolled for initiative, as John said. So now we have to go in that order. Yeah, no backpedal. Oh, wait, we had rolled for initiative. Yeah, everyone had already rolled. I'm actually looking it up here. I can look at the game log for you right now. Yeah, I got it right here. Gum, gum. I'm going to say your rolls. Just make sure that I'm correct. Gum, gum had a 19, actually. Kyborg had a 13. I had a 25.

Mud had a 22. I had a good one. And Barty Boy had a 14. 14, yes. As for metagaming, I thought that, and this is on me for assuming, that those with minor illusion or whatchamacallit, prestidigitation...

Wow, that was, I think, the worst version yet. We're going to do the spell on all of them. I didn't think I could. No, you can't. What do you think? Because those are cantrips. It's also one at a time. So, like, I couldn't, like, do the thing, wait for you to do it, then do it again. All right, so before combat had started, Mud had attempted to silence the horn that one of the Dragonborn had pulled out. Oh, no, I succeeded. Stuffed to your head. Don't say attempted.

Don't rewrite history. You did stuff it so that it was... You stuff it. You did... Why are you so competitive today, Gus? Let's chill out.

What did you stuff into the horn? I don't know. It was your gumbo. Gumbo. Okay. Mud stuffed gumbo into the horn. I feel like if you're a brass instrument player and someone shoves a badger into your instrument, they ain't going to play that. Now he's a crab. What? Gumbo. He's like a hermit crab. Oh, that's like a shell. So I assume you shoved gumbo butt first into the horn and not head first.

I hadn't thought that through, but let's go with that. Gumbo's head is sticking out of the horn and a very muffled emits from the horn. It's not totally silenced, but it is significantly muffled. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I got to contest that. If you have a badger inside of your instrument, your instrument ain't making noise. It's going to make noise. It's not an airtight seal. Okay. Okay.

Some sound is going to come out. It is going to be significantly quieter. I'm not saying like anyone heard it necessarily, but I am just saying for the record, a little bit of sound does come out. I feel like we have a new test that we have to do for our TikToks. No. Because then that involves me. Does anybody have access to a badger? Mushroom, mushroom. We could get a stuffed, like a plush badger. Yeah, we'll get a plushie. Or just get one of our dogs that looks like a badger. No.

Which one of our dogs is closer? We're not stuffing any real life animals into any real life instruments. Real life instruments. I like that. We have a lot of fake ones. Mud, you actually rolled the highest initiative. So even though you just stuffed the horn, you do go first. Sounds like some sort of innuendo. Mud, you did it. After the boss battle, you got first initiative. You get to go. You get to make your attack. Oh.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, bro, you could have stuffed the horn with that bed warmer a few weeks ago. Noice. It's funny you bring that up, Blaine, because I actually just was talking to someone yesterday about recounting, because Barbara, you have your idea that we filmed for this person's last initiative, and I told somebody about the fact that my boss battle for my arc came up, and I did nothing. You support

I did. I watched. It was fun. Cheered on. So we're on the ship. Yes. There are two of these. Two of the silver Dragonborn scouts are on the ship with you. Nikotime and Gyupo. And then they came from boat that is right next to our ship. Correct. That...

has other ones? Yes. You don't know exactly how many, but you did see at least a couple others on that boat. And then there are additional boats in the vicinity. It's just this one boat that came up to you. There's two other boats in the vicinity. Okay.

And then they've muffled the sound. I've muffled the sound. And nothing else has happened? Or the Dragonborn haven't done anything else? Not that you can tell. Their initiative rolls were pretty bad. So, no, they have not done anything yet. Okay. Just to further set the stage, there's also the giant wall that's, like, all around the border of Tatora as well.

Okay. Am I fighting the wall? No, I'm just trying to sit. We're that close to it that we're by the wall. Right. You are roughly, I mean, you're not like super close to it. I'd say you're maybe ballparking 150 feet away from the wall. How tall is that wall? About 100 feet. And Micah is mentioning that I did say last time they unsheathed their blades. So they're not going to act, but the two silver Dragonborn scouts have unsheathed blades. They are.

Thank you for that. Thank you for that colorful text. We got into that, remember? Yeah, yeah, yes. Okay. Okay, okay. I get to do stuff? I'm going to do stuff. Don't blow it, all right? I still haven't done anything? I tuned out.

I was trying to get, like, what we're looking at here. That was all for everyone's benefit so they understand, like, what are we fighting? I'm sorry we make fun of you, Chris, for taking so long. You know, it's... Well, this is the start of combat. We're just starting the episode. But Chris was going to say something when I interrupted about the wall. I don't want to say it anymore. Okay. What are we doing? This is... We're in an alternate dimension this morning. Okay. Okay.

You know, I could do some aggressive things, but instead I'm going to support everybody with some help. Okay? Nice. And I'm going to cast Fog Cloud. Timothy's doing nothing. Are we going to fight today, Gus? Apparently. You woke up and chose violence. I did not. I feel like Gus owes John a little bit of a tussle having John almost break Gus's finger a few months ago. Oh, I did. It's videoing it. Oh, it's better. Oh.

Oh, there you go. Yeah, yeah. Karma saw it fit to me. Do almost the exact same injury to myself. Fog. What? So you cast fog. Yes, I do. I cast fog cloud. But I cast it at, let's say, okay, how far are the other, the one boat's right next to us, right? Correct. It pulled up and that's where these dragonborn boarded from. Estimated how far away from me? The ship itself? Yeah. Let me take a look. I'm deciding how big of a fog cloud I need to make. What's that?

What's the highest fog you can cast? If I cast it at six level, it would be... Cover the earth? It would be a 20-foot radius plus 20 feet for each slot above first. So 120 feet?

I'd say... From me? The edge of the other boat from where you're standing is about 40 feet, roughly. 30, 40 feet, somewhere in that range. Do it in the third level. Okay. Blaine's helping with math. I appreciate it. You can also... I would say you could move and cast, but you would provoke because you are right next to them because you stuffed something into the horn. It's not something. A badge. You stuffed gumbo into the horn. He has a name. He has a name. I cast third level fog cloud and give us 60 feet. I cast that, and then...

with a bonus action, I want Gumbo to attack that dragon board. Actually, wait, can I do this? Instead of as a bonus action, can he instead of attack, can he try to grapple this horn away?

So I'm just laughing because it's a funny mental image like gumbo is butt first into a horn and now he's gonna like reach around and try to grab it. Yeah he's grabbing it and really just like takes all of his heavy bag. He's hermit grabbing. He's hermit grabbing. He wants this. Or like when you're using the toilet and you gotta hold on for dear life and run with the toilet. You need some fiber my dude. Yeah dude. Yeah sure why not yes. Okay.

So if Gumbo's gonna do that, we'll say, how would you want to approach that? Like a, I assume a strength, no, no, a dexterity check? He's trying to throw his balance off. - Sure. - Let's say dexterity. - Yeah, let's do dexterity. I'm just gonna roll a d20. - Yeah. - 15, he doesn't have a modifier for dex. - 15, okay, I'm looking here. The dex on this particular scout is plus six.

Oh, that's right. They scale with us. But there's fog around. He doesn't know what's happening. I thought you said you cast the fog over... No, on us. On you guys? On us. So you center it on yourself and then you had it be 60 feet so that it encompasses the other... So the ship can't see. Yes. Okay. Yeah, I wanted it so that we get to do our little fight in privacy. So the area is now heavily obscured. Yeah. That's all it says. Mm-hmm.

And now I'm going to roll my dexterity check. Like I said, it is plus six. Yeah. God bless the dice. Yes! Yes! That is a two. That's an eight. Let's give him his credit. Yeah. So I guess maybe the shock of having a badger stuffed into the horn catches the scout by surprise. And maybe half in shock, he just ends up dropping the horn. Yeah.

Now it's Gumbo's horn. Now, yeah, Gumbo falls to the ground. It's not far enough to take fall damage. Gumbo's happy. Is he hermit crabbing off with it? I haven't yet. He's feeling so nice. No, I'm just curious for like... That's up to your character arc. Right. I just feel like, I don't know, Bart typically doesn't try to kill people. Do you have subduing? To bullions. All right. So is that it for mud? Yeah. Yeah.

You done? Yeah, mud's done. Mud's done. Gum gum. All right. And I'll say at 60 feet, everyone is in the fog cloud. This will encompass everyone's combat, but you will have difficulty seeing at any real distance beyond five to 10 feet. Maybe. I have those goggles. Oh, it lets you see through weather specifically, right? Yeah. Nice. Fogging.

rain and whatnot. Wow. Okay. I totally knew that. I did. I don't have those, so I'm just useless. Gum, gum. I have a question.

Yeah. Just since we walked into and got captured by those, the people at the end of that last episode, that was like how many days ago when I used my cone of freezing? Oh, that was, yeah, that was, when we started that episode, that was the day before. And then since then you've been on the boat. So if it resets daily, you do have it reset. I'm going to, oh no, we've angered this gods of chicken. And, and,

Do my cock-a-doodle-collar. Is that a real thing? It's his new item he got. Oh, that's what it's called. I love the look on everyone's face when he said, we've angered the god of chickens. At first I thought he was like, dragonborns look like chickens or something like that. Micah, make sure you leave in the deafening silence. Once prolonged, the character can, as an action, blow into this gilded bone horn. A magical chicken appears in a location they're choosing within 30 feet of the user.

All hostile creatures within 10 feet of the chicken must secede on a DC 15 wisdom safe or be inextricably frightened of it for one minute. The chicken can speak common or offer a single piece of advice to the Asadusa. Once it's given a piece of advice or one minute passes, the chicken disappears in puff green smoke. Okay, so you want Nikotima and Gyopo to make the

wisdom save, I assume? Yeah. I just want to point out that my first action was to muffle a horn. And your first action has been to play a horn. So... Well, I don't have to blow it loud. I can blow it real loud. It's not the same sound they're looking for, right? It's more like a... Oh, yeah, yeah. Make the sound.

It's more like a kazoo. What is that? It's like a kazoo. Oh, okay. Okay, so they have a plus five on their wisdom. A baby cow. Up first is Nikotime. That's a nat 20, so that Nikotime makes it. Next up is Gyupo. That is a 14 plus five, say five. Yeah, plus five, 19. They both make their save. Well, what a waste. Well, I have a chicken. You have a chicken. Can I do anything else with it? That's like Umbo's first pet.

Does it, like, move around, or does it... You can... Talk to it. Yeah, you can talk to it. That's it. If you don't do anything after one minute, it disappears. One minute is ten rounds, so we're not going to be here for ten rounds. What makes you think that? Well... One round takes us, like, an hour. Yeah, I think that sludge fight was two rounds. I'm going to rage... Yeah, I think it's two for, like, 90 minutes. Okay. Getting a rage out of Gum-Gum. Is it against the machine?

First time we've made that joke. We make a lot of the same jokes, I realize. We do. We like to sing very classic songs whenever a word comes up. I can teleport to non-occupied space. You can see how my rage ends. And then you can use this effect each time.

Can I see up at all? No, it's a sphere. You can see about 10 feet away. Even that being generous. How high up is the fog? It's 60 feet. It's a sphere. You can't see 10 feet up. Well, I'm going to teleport onto the chicken. Onto the chicken. Okay. Let's hope Gum Gum killed his chicken.

What's the chicken made of? It's a giant chicken. It's a giant chicken? No, I don't think it's a giant. It's a chicken. It's a chicken. It's not a giant chicken? No. Do you want to step on the chicken? I thought it was a giant chicken. Gum Gum killed the chicken. What makes you think it's a giant chicken? It's just how he read it in his head. You guys, seriously, it's not a giant chicken. Chris, read it. There's nothing that says giant. It's a magical chicken. All right, never mind. I won't be on top of the giant chicken that's not giant. Okay. I'm just going to go 10 feet away.

Into the distance. I just disappear. Like as far away in the opposite direction of wherever the two guys are looking. And overboard. Okay. Yeah. That's what I wanted. Ooh, ooh, ooh. And I'm like, I'm tuning into a chicken. And disappear. Oh, that's fun. Okay. So you say, you blow the whistle. The chicken appears. All right. Now roll for deception.

I'm just trying to make sure I get it right. Everyone makes their wisdom save, and then you rage, which causes you to teleport 10 feet away as you exclaim, I'm turning into a chicken. Is that correct? Mm-hmm. All right, yes. Roll a deception check. Even Chris was confused by his own. He just went, mm-hmm. I'm going to use my inspiration to...

What'd you roll? Seven. Seven. You really want this deception. Yeah. If you use an inspiration die, something that can be really useful for a necessary moment. You rolled a nine. Nine. Okay, Gum-Gum kind of unconvincingly says I'm turning into a chicken and then disappears into the fog. Okay. Anything else, Gum-Gum? Well, to answer you, Barb, we haven't.

attack them yet. Okay, good. And I guess I'll try and hide. You're in the fog. Just get down on the ground. So you're getting prone on the ground? No, just leaning down. Squatting. Okay, squat. Or if there's cover anywhere. Because it's like, oh, so you're prone now. Right. So you want all the advantages of being low without any of the disadvantages. If there's any cover nearby where I teleported, let go. There you go. Some barrels. There's things on the deck of a boat. That one's got barrels on ships. That's completely bare deck.

Nothing. Just nothing. No coverage. It's because we had just cleared it off so we could have our dance festival. Yeah, of course. That's what we did. Don't you just pretend like you don't know me. Yeah, there's a... Done. We'll say you're hiding behind one of the masts of the ship. Cool. You're like teleport 10 feet and you put the mast between yourself and you're like crouched. Yeah. Okay. Is that it for Gum Gum? That's it. Okay. I will be a rope doctor, but silent. These Dragonborn have to be so confused. I'm confused.

I can't see any of this happening. Well, the badger took one of these guys' horns and then a chicken showed up, but they weren't scared of it. Uh-huh. Bart, what are you going to add to this chaos? A question for you. The boat that is approaching on the side. It's not that it's approaching. It's like, it's right next to, that's how they boarded. Like they,

They pulled the ship right up next to them and then put like a gangplank down and then walked across. Have they seen what's happening? Do they know that we're hostile yet or anything like that? Or are they hostile towards us? You do not see any movement on that ship at the current time. Could just be the two that are on the deck right now. I was just going to ask like if the other whole ship of people or Dragonborn, whoever's on that ship, is like already aware that we are potentially trying to sneak in like what they know or what they don't know. I think that's saying not to our knowledge yet. Okay.

It's a confusing time. They may have heard, you know, at the same time that the horn was trying to be blown, that, you know, Nicotima did yell intruders. Maybe they heard that. But we don't know. Yeah. Well, my loot of laughable levity. If I play that, is it an action or

Or is it a bonus? I don't see anything that tells me one way or the other. Items are usually action unless called out. It says you can expend one charge as a bonus action to play the instrument and cast one of the following spells. Oh, that sounds like a bonus action. Yeah, so I would say it's a bonus action to play and use whatever is associated with it. And could I do a bonus action before anything else? You get one. Yeah, you can use... Oh! Yeah, you have one during your turn. So if I do this, and then I could actually take a different action. Correct. If this doesn't work the way I hoped for this. Okay. Um...

I would like to play my Loot of Laughable Levity to try to calm emotions, but also the Gaff of Gaggery, which this also includes with the upgrade, I could remold the memories of listeners in my immediate vicinity. I don't...

These are two different spells though, right? Are they? Yeah. Okay. Well, then I would like to do the Gaff of Gaggery. Okay. And I don't know if they're in my immediate, or could I tell if they're in my immediate vicinity? I mean, your memory of like where they were before the fog came in. Well, I can see the fog. Oh yeah, I forget. So then it says they have to be within five feet of you.

If you want, you could move, use your bonus action. Yeah. And then depending on the outcome, you could either move again or make an action. Let me do that. Let me move towards them within five feet of... Okay. Ideally both of them? Yeah. Through the fog, Bart appears. Pass the chicken. Holding a loot.

Concert. Yeah. They just hear, like, really awful music playing. Yeah, I want to remold their memories. Cast a prestidigitation so that you can make, like, sparkles and stuff. And this, it's not that it resets their memory necessarily. They just forget everything you or an ally said within the last six seconds. Oh.

So I guess the last six seconds wouldn't have been when they took our blood. It would have been, I'm a chicken. It wouldn't have been something that you all said. We didn't say. Right. Yeah, it would have been that. So I can't be like, oh, isn't it so funny how all our blood tested positive for Dragonborn? Right. It's just like to, it's like essentially like if a joke falls flat or something doesn't work, you'd like rewind time on that and make it land. We've never had a joke fall flat. No, never. Not once. Um.

Okay, let me scrap that and just do Calm Emotions then instead. So you're going to walk within range and then use the Loot of Lappable Levity to do Calm Emotions. Yes.

Is that the spell? It's like a bonus. Yeah, but it's calm emotions, a spell. So each humanoid makes a charisma saving throw. If a creature fails its saving throw, you can choose one of the following effects. You can suppress any effect that causes the target to be charmed or frightened. Alternatively, you can make a target indifferent about creatures of your choice that it is hostile for. Ooh.

This indifference ends if the target is attacked or harmed by a spell or if it witnesses its friends being harmed. This work, you better not touch them. When the spell ends, the creature becomes hostile again. And it is concentration, so you will need to keep it up. Okay, so they need to make a, what did I say? Charisma saving throw. What's the check? Looks like it's 16. Yeah, it should be 16. Because I upped my charisma in the last level up, so I would have a 16 instead of a 15.

Nice. And their charisma is plus one. Great. All right. First, Nikotime. Seems like we're going non-violent. That's a 12. And that's a bummer because I wanted to shoot these dudes. So far, one of them is fallen. Yupo, 13. All right. Nice. So they both fail the charisma check. So I assume you're making them indifferent about your party. Yeah. All right.

All right. Yeah. You use the loot of laughable levity, cast calm emotions. And it seems like for now, at least, Nikotima and Gyupo are, they're calm. They're indifferent towards your party. Cool. And I'm trying to figure out, I don't know if this will work or not. Could I use my suspenders of haggling to try to convince them that? I think that's another bonus action. Is it? Okay. Yeah, I would say that that would be a bonus action.

Haggle them into accepting our blood. Yeah. It's funny. Just trying to get us through this. That's smart. You can just try and talk into them. Yeah, just let me see. Yeah, bribe them. Yeah, could I just talk to them? Yeah, absolutely. And say, you know, my friends here are, we're just trying to visit just as tourists. You know, we've never been to this area of town before. We're not going to cause any harm, I promise.

And he flashes his beautiful, beautiful, shiny smile and a little ting. What do you want to do? Like a persuasion check or something? Probably be charisma now. Well, persuasion's charisma based. You're persuading them. Yeah. Persuasion? Yeah. Not performance? Definitely not lying. No, it's persuasion. You're trying to persuade them to let you in. Well, shoot. That's a... It's worth a try. And I don't have a... Oops, ignore that one. I placed myself.

I mean, they would reply, only dragonkin are allowed into Torah. Fair enough, yeah. It's, you know, just light discrimination, but whatever. I don't know what you're complaining about. You passed the test. Well, you know, these are my friends, so I could vouch for them as a dragonborn myself. No, no vouching. No vouching.

No vouching allowed. No cuts. Okay. Well, I think that's it, right? All right. Can I move away? Yeah, you would be able to move. You were within range where you would provoke attack of opportunity, but they're not hostile to you anymore. They're indifferent. So you can step away if you want. Okay, cool. How far away do you go? I guess like 30 feet. Yeah, because the fog doesn't matter to you. You can see through it. I can see through it, yeah. Okay. Kyborg. Okay. Okay.

So I have this thing called Gift of the Dramatic Flagon. It's a gaudy flagon, crust, and sapphire. Any creature that takes a swig of liquid courage, beverage of choice from this flagon grants an additional 1d8 to any charisma-based check. It says some stuff about if the roll fails, but we don't need to worry about that. So I want to go up to them. I want to take a swig of this first and say, and I want to act a little drunk because whatever I drank out of it was like rum. And I'll be like, guys, guys, guys, I'm so sorry. We forgot to tell you. Gum-Gum there, the one that failed the blood check...

He got an arm replacement at the Flats of Tabool. See, so did I. Look at this. We're all dragons borns here. We're all dragons. Dragons born. Are you guys dragons? I'm a dragon. So, everything's cool. We're gonna just go into the town and it's all fine. Into where? Into... No, no one help him. Into... It's not Tabool. It's the

Said it just a little while ago to Bart. Bart is making a motion like a book. And she is reading in a very, like, reading, very religious way into the book. He's not gonna know this. Yeah. And then it's... Tatora! Tatora! God is coming to do Tatora. Yes! Woo! Woo!

I should take notes. Should I just include you guys on my D&D notes slide group? Don't help them. You don't need notes when we have charades. Oh, my God. Okay. That was great. So good, Barb. So good. So good. I was like, what? All right, so you're doing a charisma check.

But this is... Plus a 1d8. So what is this? I mean, this is deception, I guess. So you would make a deception roll to try to convince them of this and add a d8 to it from gift of the dramatic flag. Yeah, sure. So roll for deception. Weird sounding. Yes. Yes.

You got a minus two, but that was 17. Ooh. Not bad. And then I'm going to roll a D8, and that will be five. So I'll get 22. 22. That's pretty good deception. Let me roll. I'd be deceived. I'd be deceived. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

And Mutt doesn't believe anybody. Four and an eight. Oh, Gus is very upset by this. I'm very upset by this. You really want to take us out, huh? So, hold on. So then the check didn't fail, so you don't get the negative side effect, right? Right, which is like vomiting and psychic damage. Wait, so you all had arm replacements? Oh, uh... And now that's why he failed the test.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know when you attach an arm to you, there's different blood in it. So we heard talk about these dudes called Taboolians out in the flats of Tabool. We hate those guys. Boo, boo. They ain't got no arms. But me and my friend Gum-Gum here...

Lost our arms fighting tabooians. Yeah, it's true. It was very, very true. I was there to witness it. And so did this guy. His name's Mud. So anyways, we went and like, we wanted to keep it hush hush. You fought the tabooians and lost. Everyone lost an arm? They tried to steal the arms. We took their arms because they were like, you don't deserve those arms. What do you mean you took their arms? And then they took our, we chopped them off.

With swords, because, well, like, they don't have arms, but then they got arm replacements, so then we cut off their arms, and then they cut off our arms because they got mad that we cut off their arms, so then in the mess, there's just arms everywhere. So we just started grabbing arms, and then we put, we just did what we could to attach arms, so then now we're back in Totoro to, you know. Totoro. For the listeners at home, both Gus and Micah have their heads in their hands. I mean, it's just like a...

They are at complete 45 degree angles. It's just such a messy situation, but the important thing is we're home now. Okay. Very good. So everyone lost one arm. You lost that one. They point at your replaced arm. That's right. Which arm did he lose? The one that you tested. Oh, I guess the other one. Yeah. Which arm did he lose? The one that we tested?

Both of his arms. It was very bloody. Double amputation. It was rough. All the way across the sky. Yeah, so like you can't even test him, but like I know he's royalty though. Why don't his arms look metal like your arm? Oh, because he got organic ones, but I paid a high price for my metal one. It costs an arm and a leg. See, he's got real arms. He can make that joke. Okay, understood. Yeah, no, that all makes sense. Yeah, yeah. We'll just test your legs.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll okay We still in combat. Yeah, I'm just trying to keep it but by the Initiative role just cuz it's a little end up being a lot. I think I can I think I can do something here Oh, Nikko Tima approaches you and tries to draw a blood sample from your left leg from my leg. Okay, so

So I have pressed to digitation. So I can create a non-magical trinket or an illusionary image that can fit in your hand and last until the end of your next turn. Can I make it look like the blood fills in their little thing and they think that they have my blood, but it's not? You know what I mean?

I'm trying to make an illusion. No, no, I got you. I'm just reading through all the different options here of prestidigitation. What if you take the needle and inject yourself and use it to make an imaginary trinket of a used one and put it back in? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not going to let you take the needle and do it yourself. Oh, but my leg's so sensitive, I need to... Yeah, you could try this. I don't know... Yeah, you can try it. How about this? How about this? How about this? I...

bump into them. Can we do some sort of unarmed strike where I knock the syringe off like the deck and then I make an illusionary? No, because then they're going to find out that they're finding their things fake. Yeah, yeah. All right. We're going to just roll with that. Okay. All right. Nikotame pricks your left leg, takes a blood sample, puts it in the vial, use prestidigitation. What would we say? Like a

This needs to be a check here of some kind. I don't want to say it's sleight of hand because you're not like physically changing. Let's say deception. Make a deception check. Okay. All right. It's foggy. Very foggy. Very hard to see. Oh, yeah. But they can see you like right in front of them. Could they see right in front of them? Like if I guess. So I have is gift of the chromatic flag and still active. I wonder. It doesn't really say. I guess it just says. I'm going to say one. Yeah. Once. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Well, that was a nine, but I think that this is worth the lucky, so I'm going to roll again because we really need this to happen. Otherwise, I would have wasted a lot. All right. Oh, that's another nine. Come on.

So they prick the blood. You use your spell to try to make it appear so that you try to make it appear like. I'm just trying to like subdue the little. It doesn't like light on fire or like there's like a small like a little. So you're trying to make it look like if it reacts that it doesn't happen. Yeah, like there's no chemical reaction. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah. They drop the sample into the vial and it looks like it's going to work for just a second, but then it erupts in a flame. Oh, yeah.

Maybe because you've got those fake arms. It's not... And once again, Nicotima points at you and says, Intruder! And we go back to square one. Yeah.

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we might name an NPC in the show after you. For example, Gyupo, the Dragonborn Scout, named after @gport619. Nikotime, the Dragonborn Scout, named after @nm10king. We also had some magic item submissions in the previous episode. The Key Mimic was submitted by @MikeKern on Twitter. The Basket of Arcanumana was submitted by Daniel Schultz on Twitter. Lazrever's Elixir of Reversal, submitted by @UsherAdam on Twitter.

Jade Cat of Playful Spirit was submitted by Magical Madoka on Twitter, /BBb on Reddit. Cockadoodle Caller was submitted by @KingKaiju7567 on Twitter. Eggless of Equipping, NovaRogue13 on Rooster Teeth, TheWasteOfTime, JordoAIG on Twitter, and Gift of the Dramatic Flagon was submitted by Barkski on Twitter. Also want to give a special thank you to some friends who provided VO for characters in previous episodes.

Mild Manor, voiced by Kayla Milton. Brink Tussler, voiced by Eric Badour. That's him. Cap'n Marge, voiced by Zoe Terhune. Sordo, voiced by Jack Petillo. Paralite, voiced by Hannah McCarthy. Bezler, voiced by Christian Young. And Dr. Ahem, voiced by Micah Reisinger, who's our writer, editor, and composer.

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You try. Do I have anything left to do? I will say that was I'm happy for the journey we took there. That was a lot of fun. Is my calm emotions not still affecting them? Well, this would be almost like a reset. Like you reset it to indifferent. Gotcha. But then like this happens and then they get hostile again. Great. Thank you. Sorry. That's all good. I hit the brakes momentarily. I just used a lot of action, so I wouldn't be surprised if that was the end of my turn. Yeah, we're going to say that's it.

God, you took their horn. I'm not happy about that. I did. I did action surge and just slit their throats. Oh, you could action surge. Yeah, you tell me if you're done. No, I'm done. Finally, it's Nikotima's turn. It's funny, I wasn't planning on them having any real action. I was planning on them being calmed, so thank you for freeing them. You're welcome. Yeah, Nikotima is going to try to...

Ooh. Yeah, Nikotemuskitch is going to try to hit you with his katana. Who? Sorry, Kaibork, because he's right in front of him and failed the test. Hits AC 26. That's a hit. Roll that again. Roll it again? Yeah, roll that again. Let's roll that back. I'm using a lucky. Hits AC 24. Okay.

Ah, the number he needed. Just blowing luckies. Yeah, it hits. The katana connects with you doing 13 points of damage. You have so much HP now. You strong boy. You big, big strong boy. It still hurts my feelings. Big strong boy. Plants his feet and then brings the katana back in the opposite direction for a second strike. Oh. Big, big strong boy. AC 26. Yeah, it hits, Gus. You don't have to say it. All right. Big, big strong boy. Doing... Big, big strong boy.

Ooh, 28 points of damage. Oh my god. 28 points of damage. I'm like down a quarter health. That was Nikotime. Gyupo moves a little bit to reposition himself and inhales and then exhales a giant wave of cold air and ice. What? Hitting... Well, it would definitely have Kyborg in it.

And I would say Bart stepped away. Gum Gum was behind the mast. It would probably hit Mud as well. So it would affect Mud and Kyborg. Both of you make constitution saving throws. Ooh, it's not a good one. It's a 10. That's a 21. I have advantage because of my Diagem. That's a 23. Okay. I also have... Gift of the Chromatic Dragon! Reactive Resistance! And it's when you take...

Acid, blah, blah, blah. Cold damage. You can use your reaction to give yourself resistance to that instance of damage. Okay, so you made the save and you're resistant, so you'll end up taking a quarter damage. I'll take it. Mud, however, failed the save, so Mud takes 29 points of damage. Oh, my God. Yowza! And you are stunned. Kyborg takes 7 points of damage. Oh!

And it's not stunned. And once again, Gyupo shouts at the top of his lungs, intruders! I think that, so, all right, you know, I think we can kill these guys. I think we can kill these guys. They hurt you guys significantly. I would not lose sleep. Mud, it's your turn, but you are stunned. I don't know if there's anything you can do. I don't know what the effect of stun, how it's worn off or what its effects are. A stunned creature is incapacitated, can't move,

can speak only falteringly. Creature automatically fails strength and dexterity saving throws. Attack rolls against the creature have advantage. So you're kind of like stuck in place. At the end of your turn, you roll again to see if it wears off. Okay. So I can do things that don't involve me moving or talking. Correct. Okay. I'm going to try something and see what you let me do with this.

Because it doesn't designate it as a thing I have to talk about or move. I'm going to expend two wild shape slots and turn into a water elemental. Interesting. As an action, you can magically assume... Elemental.

Elemental, my dear Watson. Now, it doesn't list stun as a thing here, but on condition immunities, water elementals are immune to exhaustion, grapple, paralyzed, petrified, poison, prone, restrained, or unconscious. No, it would specifically say stunned. Okay, so stunned is a thing. Yeah, it's a specific condition. Okay, yeah, I don't see any reason you cannot wild shape, so you can turn into the water elemental, but...

the stun effect persists. - And the stun effect means I can't take actions? - Correct. You can't move and can speak only falteringly. Basically, you're incapacitated.

This guy blows ice. Well, I'll turn it into water. You can't take actions or reactions. Then I was trying to see if that would actually stop my stunt. If it didn't, then there's not really a point in me doing this. Yeah, probably for the best. Save my wild shape. Turn to a fire elemental. Yeah, on a ship. Great. That we're trying to take in. Well, then if I'm stunned, I can't do anything. So then I'm going to have Gumbo make sure and take that horn a little further.

Just gonna keep hermit crabbing? Just like toss it overboard. I should have like Googled D&D beasts that are immune to stun. But I didn't. And I could have turned into that. Anyways, that's my turn. Thank you. Okay, make a constitution saving throw to see if you break the stun. Oh, could I slap my butt then? I can't move. I can't? Well, you can't move.

Oh, I can't move at all. Not even like my arm. Gotcha, gotcha. I thought I was thinking like move forward. Constitution saving throw? Yes. I can do a constitution saving throw. I'm pretty good at those. That's how we got here. 20. Boom. Okay. Hesha. Hesha. Touch, touch. Yeah, at the end of your turn, you start to feel movement, like blood flowing through your extremities again. You can move and talk once more. And I action surge. You don't have that. Action surge. All right. You got to say it like that, baby.

I hurt my throat. So the fog cloud is a concentration spell. So since you took damage, you need to make a concentration check to make sure that the spell stays up. What the heck is that? It's a DC 10 constitution. 14. 14. Okay, yeah. So you take some damage and the fog cloud, it's tough to keep concentration on the fog cloud, but you still manage to keep your mind sharp and focused on the cloud and the cloud does stay.

I'm good at this. That's right. I could do this all day. Yeah. Oh, my God. I can make fog all day. Okay. Gum, gum. Do they know where I am? Do they see me? They don't know. You did yell.

You are a chick. No, I'm kidding. Well, it's obscured. Remember, there is a fog cloud, so they can't see very far. And then you did retreat into the fog and are hiding behind one of the masts. So I'll say you have a good feeling that they probably do not know where you are. But conversely, you can no longer see them either, though. Okay. I want to go up to where they are quietly. Hmm.

Is that an attack of opportunity? How could you see where they are, though? He's entering. He withdrew, so he would know more or less what direction to go in. I can hear them, like, fighting and stuff. Magical hearing. Gum Gum is part bad. And then... Which one was the next to attack in order? The next one in the order is Nikotima. They're both very low in the list, though. Okay.

Are we trying to kill him or stun him? Oh, we're killing. I'm killing. Yeah, full on. I just worry that if we kill him, that whole boatload of enemies. I worry that with that second yell of intruder, this is going to turn into a group effort. Well, I guess I'll go up to him and I will attack recklessly with my acts of kindness right on his bonker. Nikotima, the one you said...

Specifically the one that's acting next. Called shot, he's going for his bonker, which I don't know what that is. Is that a head? Yeah. No one has ever called a head a bonker. I guarantee you someone somewhere would have been, you know, acceptable. So I'm going to hit him in the bonker. I did that recklessly, so I'm doing it again. Better than hitting him in their boinker. That's a 16. Oh, yeah, that does hit. Okay. So hazy. He sinks the axe into Kyborg's chest. Got

So that's a 3 plus... Well, no, because I did the wrong one. I did D8 instead of a D10. You got to roll a D10. 9 plus my rage damage, which is plus 3, so that's 12. And how does he look after that? Should I hit him again? So 12?

I think these guys might have more than 12 HP. Yeah, he's still looking pretty healthy. Alright. They took me down almost 30 points with one hit. Well, then I will hit him again. There you go. I like the way that GumGum does combat where he hits them with an axe and then just goes recklessly. Are you okay? Are we still fighting? 19. That is a 17 plus 20 damage. 20 damage. How's he looking?

Just ask every time. He's a little bloody, but he still seems very healthy. Actually, when you make that second attack with him, as the axe is coming in close and about to contact him, with his hand, he just pushes it aside and you end up missing. Wait. What? The second? Wait, so I didn't do that 20 damage? No. Has that been an option this whole time that we could do? Yeah. If you have the appropriate reactions and feats, yeah. Oh, I do. I actually should have rolled to double check that.

Not 20. Yeah. He just smacks your axe out of the air and it actually redirects back to you and you end up hitting yourself with your own axe. Do I get to like roll to dodge it? No. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. You take those 20 points of damage. No, I take 10. Oh, you're ready to get 10. I don't think we're going to kind of live through this one, guys. Okay. And then I will...

I guess. Can I use my bonus action to hit him with a spear? You can use a spear as a bonus action? That's not a bonus action. Are you switching your weapon with a bonus action and then attacking? Oh, we have three attacks. I have three attacks. No, I don't have three attacks. I do. Or wait. Four. I'm going to... No. I'm thinking of actions. I'm going to use my bonus action and...

Hey, I want to do fall damage on him. I don't think Chris knows what bonus action is. Yeah, I can teleport, and I want to teleport. And you want to do fall damage on someone? What does that even mean? How big is this guy? He's trying to Mario this Goomba. He's about the same size as you. About the same size as me. Is your thing a bonus action? My teleport? Yeah. Which teleport? My rage teleport. Oh, your rage.

Yeah. Can I do that, Gus? I still don't know what you're asking me. He wants to go 30 feet in the air and I will land on him. He wants to like fall on him and like essentially give him damage by falling on him. Yeah, you also take fall damage. He's trying to Mario. Just do it, Gus. Just do it. Sure. Okay, there you go. It goes faster if you just let him do this. I teleport 30 feet in the air and I like with my elbow out and I fall down landing on him. Pretty cool.

Okay. How do we do damage for that? So I know what damage you would take from that. You just give him the same damage? And he's doing an unarmed strike? Yeah, roll, let's call it, roll a D6 and add your strength modifier for damage. I'm going to assume you hit him. I'm going to give you that.

Okay, four. My strength modifier. That's nine. Total plus my rage. No, I'm not giving you rage damage on that. I already gave you a D6. You're not attacking me. For free. I read a free hit. Yeah, yeah, you're right. All right. Thank you. Nine. Yes, sir. Okay, nine points of damage. You land on your elbow right on the funny bone and take 13 points of damage. Is that...

So would I have that? Oh, right. You would have that because you are raging. So I'll say six. Okay. Not bad, Chris. And what did he take? Nine. Okay. That was something. It was something. All you boys needing to end your turn with damage. The chicken, meanwhile, continues clucking and scratching at the deck. I don't want to be lumped into that statement. All right. I'm done. Some of you boys. I take offense to that. It's like your MO. Bark. Yeah. Am I within 60 feet of these two fellas? Yes.

Yes, you are not too far away. You withdrew last round. Like 30 feet. But yeah, you didn't withdraw too far. Let's do something.

Kill. Cloud of daggers. Kill Bart? You got it. Kill Bart. Kill. Bart. Bart. Kill. Bart. Kill. Could I position my cloud of daggers in a way where it hits both of them? I know I might hit Gum Gum at the same time, though. 100%. Yeah. I'll say you'll be able to get both of them, but yeah, you will get Gum Gum as well. He's on top of them. Well, are you going to be okay? Yeah. All right. I'm going to do it at the sixth level. Ooh.

Micah just started... Oh, man. Is Gum Gum still raging? Yeah. Okay, okay. Wee's laughing because that's powerful. No, I know. That's a lot. Don't worry. I got something after. All right. So it's 12d4. Good lord. The damage increases by 2d4 for every spell slot above second level. Wow. Do it. All right. So it only turned out to be 26. Ah!

That's good. For one just spell, that's pretty good. Yeah. Man, that's a lot. And then Gum Gum would take only half of that. 13. That's not bad. A vicious, swirling cloud of blades and death just appears on the deck. Most people can't really see it, but Bart, it really amuses you. And they don't know where it came from, right? Right. Excellent. Just appeared out of nowhere. Oh, that is crazy. This is happening.

Oh, it's a blade storm. Watch out. Some weather we're having. And then could I use a bonus action to cast Mantle of Inspiration, which would be one use of my Bardic Inspiration to grant 11 temporary hit points up to four creatures I could see. And you got them goggles. Yeah. So you guys take 11 temporary...

or add 11 temporary hit points. Thank you. And then also each creature can immediately use its reaction to move up to its speed. So Gum Gum, if you wanted to get away. And does not provoke attack of opportunity. And does not provoke. I'm actually totally fine staying where I am, but I would like to do my backlash where I do my rage roll again because I took damage. I gave him damage by doing Cloud of Daggers because he was there. Yes. Gum Gum. Okay. Top.

How far can we move? Your movement. And how far is the side of the boat? The opposite side where the other boat is, is about 30, 40 feet. Okay. And then the side closest behind you. Correct. The other one behind you is, oh, it's like five feet right behind you. Also, quick little question too. What is the rest of the crew doing right now? Where's Captain Marge and her whole crew?

in this whole fight. They are off to the side because I didn't want to have to roll for them too. Okay. Mud can do 30 feet. Can I go off the side of the boat? Yes. Okay, I'm off the side of the boat. But let's deal with his wild magic. We roll here real quick. I rolled it. It's a one. Chatty, turn to roll slash around you. Each creature of your choice that you can see within 30 feet of you must succeed on a constitution saving throw or take 1d12 necrotic damage. You also gain 1d12 temporary hit points. Constitution saving throw, huh?

They have a plus one on that. Nikotime, that's a five. Gyupo, 17. So Nikotime fails. - So that's a seven. - Okay, takes seven. And do you say on a successful save, do they take half? - No. - So no damage on a successful save. - And then I'll gain 12 Taperia points.

Is that an addition? An addition to the 11 I just gave you? Or would it be instead? No. Yeah, it replaces. So the way it worked is this would have been a reaction immediately to the cloud of daggers. You would have gotten 12. Then Bart would have used mantle of inspiration and that 11 could have replaced your 12. Okay. I'll just keep the 12 then. Can I do that? Okay. So then that was that. You jumped off. Kyborg, are you going to move at all? I absolutely will move away from these two. Okay. How far? The maximum distance.

Whatever your movement speed is, I guess. Yeah. So you move 30 feet away. You lose sight of them because of the fog cloud. I stand right where I was. Oh, you don't want to. They can't see you. You can't see them. No, no, no, no. I move away. I move away. Okay. So you move away and you lose sight of them in the fog cloud. Yeah, sure. Bart, do you have anything else? I think that's it. A very, I want to say busy turn by Bart there. A lot happened. But short and sweet. Just like Bart. Just like Bart. Yeah. That's his motto. Short and sweet and good enough to eat. Yeah.

Bart, roll me a perception check. Uh-oh. More enemies. Get on board. Oh, okay. Rerolling that because it was a one.

13. Okay. You're the only one who can see this because you can see through the fog cloud. But yeah, two more silver dragonborn have crossed the plank from the other ship. Do they appear hostile? They have their swords drawn and it looks like they're looking around. They can't see very well though because of the fog cloud. It doesn't look like they see any of you guys. You can only see them because of your goggles. How far away am I from these guys? I guess I'd be like pretty far. I'd say about 30.

feet or so i guess because i already used a bonus action i can't like walk up towards them to try to have a conversation this would have been after your turn okay their initiative is right after yours that's the reason i have you rolled now gotcha i was gonna try to be like oh everything is good here gentlemen just jump off the ship no one of them uh is walking around kind of with its uh sword out kind of like trying to poke around see what's in the area it doesn't seem like it's finding you though

Kyborg, it's your turn. All right. I have the longbow of crystallina and I say forever winter, which means that... Like that? Yeah. Forever winter. Forever winter. The target of your ranged attack... No, no, no, no. Hold on. Hold on.

FOREVER WINTER! There it is! Alright, the target of your ranged attack becomes your sworn enemy either until it dies or you can use a bonus action to change your sworn enemy. You can only have one enemy at a time. When your sworn enemy dies, blah blah blah. When you make a ranged attack roll with the weapon against your sworn enemy, you have advantage of the roll. In addition, your target gains no benefit from cover other than total cover and you suffer no disadvantage due to long range.

So does that overcome the fog? If not, I have a backup. What do you mean, does it overcome the fog? Your target gains no benefit from cover. Well, there really was no benefit from cover to begin with. Like, that's like if someone's, like, hiding behind, like, a wall or something like that, or, like, the mass. Got it. Okay. Well, then that's fine. I am also going to do, because he's in the fog, I'm also going to use a...

Arcane Shot with a Seeking Arrow. With the Seeking Arrow, you can choose one creature you have seen in the past minute and fire an arrow that flies towards that creature moving around the corners and ignoring three quarters cover and half cover. Yeah, it does an additional 1d6. So had you stepped away last turn? I don't remember. I did step away. I'm trying to get away from their swords. Okay, so yeah, this would allow you to overcome the fog and you don't have any disadvantage because you're at an appropriate range distance. Yes. I see what you're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, so I'm going to fire with the long gear bow. So that's a 13, but I have advantage because he's my sworn enemy. Yeah, roll again. So I'm going to roll that again. And it's 15. No, that does not hit. Lucky. Wait, didn't you use the seeker arrow? What does the seeker arrow do? Doesn't it? That's, it's arcane shot. So it's only if I make the roll, does it come into effect? So I can roll a lucky. Ah.

So normally with like bursting arrow or grasping arrow, like bursting arrow specifically says immediately after the arrow hits a creature. Like you need to create the hit and then you call bursting arrow. Okay. With seeking arrow, it doesn't have that. It says you can choose a creature you've seen and fire an arrow that flies toward that creature going around corners. If the creature is in range and a path is available, the creature needs to make a dexterity saving throw or take damage. So it's on the target to make a dex save. And if they fail,

they take damage automatically. - Okay, so then the rolls that I just made are for you to roll against? - No, no, no, you don't need to do that. - Okay. - If you call a Seeking Arrow, then it's on me to make a dexterity saving throw. So I'm gonna do that. - Do that. I hate this. My friends are watching. - Ooh, seven. - Who? - Plus six, 13. That's a successful save. They need a DC 12. - Oh wow, that low, huh? - Yes, it says it makes the DC, dex save DC 12 or take damage from the arrow. So no, the Seeking Arrow fails to connect. - Okay, that's fine.

That's okay. Because... Ah! This is the sounds of a man who has a plan. Aha! Or thinks he does. Curving shot! When you make an attack roll with a magic arrow and miss, you can use a bonus action to re-roll the attack roll against a different target within 60 feet of the original target. Hmm? Hmm?

- Well, this wasn't, okay. Now where is that? 'Cause it wasn't an attack roll. - No, but he missed and so now he's attacking someone else. - He says re-roll the attack roll. Where's curving shot? I don't know if you can- - No, Dolph protects the top of his robot. - When you make an attack roll with a magic arrow. I think what this is saying, so if you had rolled like a, not an arcane shot, but a regular magic arrow, which all your arrows by default are magic and miss, you can use bonus action to re-roll. I'll say, sure, why not? I'll say this.

You can make an attack roll. I'm trying to be fun here. We'll make an attack roll against Guppo. By the way, we love you, subreddit. You don't need to make posts every time you figure out that Gus got something wrong. Unless it's in our favor and makes us feel good. I was just trying to be nice to Gus. No, I know. He works so hard. It's a lot to keep track of, too. Yes. You got to make your attack roll, right? Yes.

I can use a bonus action, right? This is a bonus action. Yeah, yeah, you're right. I was gonna reassign it and say he was my sworn enemy. No. Alright, so what am I making? Uh, just make an attack roll. Attack.

This is like some Magic Arrow Kennedy stuff. 29! 29! That does hit. I was thinking more like Wanted. I was thinking Runaway with Tom Selleck. All right, so then... Classic 80s action movie. I do a... Does that hit? 8 points of damage? Oh, plus the 1d6 because the seeking? Or do we lose that? The seeking goes away. Because it goofed. Yeah.

Okay. I feel like there is still a plus on here. Why did you miss the seeking arrow? Deck save. Well, okay. I hate to do this to myself, but that's only when it's against my sworn enemy. Yeah. Gupo is not my sworn enemy.

I'll take an inspiration die for being so nice and telling you guys the truth. All right, so that was that, right? That was that attack? Yes. Okay. Only two more to go. I liked the taste of that. Let's do it again. I'm going to... Gum gum cheers on. Yeah! Gum gum, you can't see anything. I know, but you can still hear it. I'm once again going to do a seeking arrow against my sworn enemy. Yeah, because it's... The cutie man!

Since Blaine doesn't have a character voice, he's been talking in characters this entire time. Yes. Just firing into a cloud of fog.

Every time Blaine yells, I always hear, it's bullying friends! There's no limit on how many seeking arrows you can cast? No, I have two arcane shots. I am using my second arcane shot to do another one. I will roll the deck save here. Just letting you know, Gus, I have my entire next turn planned out. Okay, great. That is a successful deck save. I do too. I'll do a spell and hurt people in the event.

Curving shot! There it is. Take that, Gubo! Take that, Gubo! Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Yeah, curving shot is a bonus action, so you already used a bonus action, so you can't do that again. What if I change one of my normal attacks with the bonus action? Is that a possibility? No, that is not. I see, I see. Well, so then that arrow just flew off into nowhere. Okay. Ow!

- Uh, heck. Can I run back in there? - Yes. - All right. - You have not moved, so you can move. - Okay, and then could I, we've talked about this before. I don't wanna get cheaty, so I'm gonna ask for permission. I have my hand cannon, and we've talked about exchanging weapons and what that looks like, but since it's my arm and it's already out. - Yeah, you could just point. - Okay, then I'm gonna- - You're just like, basically, since you're holding a bow, you just hold the bow in your other arm and then point with the hand cannon. It's like nothing.

So then I want to run up. Should I do Nekoteam or Shaggy? Can you hit them both? I should do Goopo. Is it area attack? It is. I think it's like a bullet. So I don't think it is. Do you line them up? No, I don't know. Chris, stop Chrising his turn. Oh, he is Chrising me right now. Okay. So then I'm going to use my hand cannon. And that is on Goopo? Yeah, we're going to go for Goopo. Okay. That's it. 18 plus 5, 23. So that's a hit.

Let me roll my check first to see if I get knocked prone or not. Okay. BC 16. This is a strength, right? Plus five. 24. So not knocked prone. Okay. But you still roll damage. We still roll 46 bludgeoning and then 46 fire damage. So there's your bludgeoning. I see a one in there. That's a bummer. And then here's your fire. That's a 17 and a 17. That's 34 points of damage, Guppo. Yeah, he's not happy about that.

How's he looking? A little rough. Like he got shot. He still got fight. He still got fight in him. He's like, you know, those cartoons are like Daffy Duck gets a bomb exploded in his face and his bills backwards. That's it right now. Yeah. Slightly crooked. Is that it for the mighty cyborg? That's all folks. I could actually church. I could get there. Don't. No, don't. Sometimes other people want to play. Yeah, that's true.

Was the distance that I ran up to them my full distance? Yes, because you said you used your full action to run back. Then I'm going to just stand there and wait for my next katana.

Which is coming soon. Bart, you're the only one who can see this, but the other dragonborn that walked on board. The two of them? Yeah, they're like splitting up, kind of walking around. The second one's moving around trying to find you all, I guess. There's a fog. Yes. Yeah, that's why they're not just like immediately attacking. I hate this fog. It's a fog. Very good.

Bart, go ahead and roll me a perception check. Again? Yes. Oh, no. I'm going to see more. I'm going to see more of them, aren't I? 18. You notice that two other scout ships similar to the one that's currently next to the Jebediah are also starting to draw closer. We can take him. Question. Could we all jump in the Ahem-mobile and GTFO? I don't know.

Can you? Kyborg never runs away from a fight. We're a little half. How many ships now? One tied up with a Jebediah and then two additional ones that are approaching. I like those odds. You're the only one that sees it, though. Is there a way I could communicate with my... They're all like... We're all pretty close. Yeah. We're all pretty close. A lot of enemies coming in. A lot of ships coming in. We should probably try to get out of here if we want to live considering two of these guys...

on us. Speaking of these guys, it's Nikotima's turn. Oh, cool, cool, cool, cool. What idiot's standing near Nikotima? He's very happy to see Kyborg right next to him again. Flash is that beautiful smile. Yeah, mud's over the side. I'm right next to him. Gum Gum, you're also there, aren't you? Aren't they in a cloud of daggers? Oh, that's right. They just started their turn. So I believe you reroll the 24d4. 12d4, sorry. Jeez. I'll do 24 if you want. Here they come. 34.

Which means... Kubo die. Kubo die. Kyborg would have re-entered. I was imagining that I re-entered my spot that Bart... I had previously missed. Yeah, I just resumed that position. Okay, making sure. I'm not trying to get cheaty, but like... No, no, it makes sense because you were there. I got you. You're right.

So 30 points of damage for Nikoteme, who is, I guess Mud is the only one who cannot see this. But yeah, Nikoteme is finally not looking great. Finally. Only just now. Yeah. If he's Nikoteme. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh.

How's Ogubo looking? Well, we'll get to his. It's not his turn yet. Sure, sure, sure. Man, he needs to move. Attack of opportunity. Yeah, but that's going to provoke an attack of opportunity from both. Sounds like he should just stand in the cloud of daggers a little longer. I've worked at gum gum. So too.

He's going to open up two attacks of opportunity. Go on. You want to move or you want to stay? What do you want to do? Yeah, he's going to try. Even though this will provoke two attacks of opportunity, he's going to try to move out from his current position to get out of the cloud of daggers. Kyborg and Gum-Gum both get attacks of opportunity on him. So I can just shoot the longbow of crystallina then? No, it has to be, I believe, melee. You can't use range for attack of opportunity.

So they're in the cloud of daggers, but kyborg isn't? It's because it's only a five foot cube. Oh, it's a small cube. It's really small. Oh, it's attack of opportunity reaction. Oh, okay.

Attack of... Yeah, it's the reaction. You cannot take another reaction until the start of your next turn. But he did start a turn since then. So Bart cast the Mantle of Inspiration. Yeah, Kyborg had his turn, so his reaction has reset. But I haven't because I used my Rage. Correct. Well, also, you moved as a reaction from Bart, and you haven't gotten a sense of that. Yeah, so Gum-Gum would not have a reaction, but...

but Kyborg would. Okay. So it would have to be a melee. Not long, though. Again, I'll take disadvantage. I'm going to do melee. All right, fine.

15. Miss. Oh, I mean, turn it up and you cut to me. I'm lucky. I'm rolling again. Oh, no. Really? For this melee attack? Yes. Not for like... It's like reverberated. Yeah, that hits. Ha ha. Doing it. Five points. Wow. Really? For that? That... Listen, all right. I got to do something, man. He falls over dead. No, I'm just kidding. He does not. Why would you do that? Ha ha.

He did not like that. So after stepping out of the cloud of daggers, Nikotame pivots, turns, and slashes at you with his katana. Katana. Miss. It's a one, so he misses and falls slightly off balance and the tip of his katana briefly becomes lodged in the deck of the Jebediah.

And he falls backwards into the cloud of daggers again. Gus, I want you to realize the sacrifice that I'm making here. What's that? Because of the longer bow of crystallinity, he's my sworn enemy. He has advantage on attacks against me. I can't let it slide. I am a man of honor. Thank you for that. Maybe his katana does not get stuck. His katana does not get stuck. Well, no, wait, it does. It gets stuck in your spine. He hits AC 21, which I assume is a hit. It sure is. 21 points of damage.

He spins, bringing the katana around in a wide arc, taking a second swing. Oh, come on. Don't forget he has advantage. He's got advantage, which means he has a 20, which I assume is a hit. Doing 24 points of damage. Man, you are sliced and diced, my dude. Then he shouts, friends, over here. All right. Gyupo's turn.

Cloud of Draggers. Cloud of Draggers. Yeah, Cloud of... Cloud of Draggers? That's right. Drag queens all over the world, come in and help us. Roll your Cloud of Draggers damage again for Cupo here, please, Bart. Oh, you got it. Damage. Barbara, damage. Here we come to save the day with another 12d433.

How much was it? 33. Yeah, that's pretty bad. He's not looking good at all. He's dead though, right? No, he's still alive. I do want to say, for being so stand-up, Kyborg, go and give yourself an inspiration die. I'll take it, thank you. He's going to use it for something dumb. Use it now! Alright, you poe.

Needs to move. No one has an attack of opportunity left, so he can move out just fine. Yeah, he's going to step out from the cloud of daggers, kind of withdrawing a little bit. And then, yeah, he'll close in on Gum-Gum and take an attack on Gum-Gum. AC 22, which I assume is a hit. Yeah. 21 points of damage where you take half, so you take 10. Okay. Swings around, makes a second attack. Okay.

But he has advantage because you attack recklessly, correct? Yeah. So these guys have like katanas and stuff. Is this like the setting? Is it kind of like... Wait, did I attack him recklessly? Well, it doesn't matter. He failed either way. Oh.

I was going to ask the clarifying question, but it doesn't matter. Both of his roles missed. So in the end, it doesn't matter. And I'm sorry, you're asking a question. Oh, yeah, because they have katanas and stuff. Is this like in the dragons? Is this kind of like a Japanese kind of vibe, like setting, you know? I feel like we haven't explored that sort of. You really don't know yet. You haven't gotten into Tora. Yeah, they're not letting us into the front door. Well, that's it for Gyupo. Bart, you do not need to roll a perception check for this.

Who do I see now? You see the wall that surrounds Titora is now on fire. Oh my God. Everything's falling apart.

Mud, it's your turn. You've gone overboard. Well, I'm about to go overboard. You said you went overboard. I went to the side of the ship. Did I also fall? I think you said that you jumped. I thought you said you did. Yeah, I went off the side. Did that also, the time of that involved my fall? Yeah, you went off the side. Yeah. Okay, that's what I was asking. Like, if I went there. Okay. Skadoosh. Doesn't matter. Skadoosh.

I'm gonna do two things. I'm gonna use combat while it's in shape and I'm gonna turn into a giant owl. Okay. Actually, wait, first, I'm gonna cast a spell. Okay. It's because I forget I gotta do that before I turn into an animal. I'm gonna cast conjure animals. I'm gonna cast it at six level.

So I'm gonna, which means I get twice as many animals. Don't worry Gus, I got you on this. I'm gonna summon 16 giant owls. Oh thank god. Hold on, I gotta make a note of this real fast. 16 giant owls, okay. Giant owls, not chickens. And then I'm Oh yeah, the chicken's still on the deck. It's still like, pecking. And it's normal size. I turn into a giant owl as well. 17 giant owls. Beautiful. Technically yes. I send my giant owls to pick up my friends and

and abscond away from this situation with full confidence that Marge and her crew can deal with this. You're Gandalfing this? I'm Gandalfing this. Also, the owls have flyby. Can the owls see into the fog? They actually have advantage on, they have keen sense. Does the fog drop because you're casting it out? It does. Okay. Okay.

Either way, they have keen sense. Beautiful. They also have flyby, so they don't take any attacks of opportunity when they go near the... If they fly by the dragonborn. Gotcha.

So, like, let's just divvy out, like, you know, let's say the narrative of this is what I'm hoping for is, like, a couple, I mean, one of each of these guys can pick up each of my friends. The giant owl has that capacity. Okay. But the rest run, you know, interference to allow for an easy exit. Mm, gotcha.

Because at the very least, there are 13 other owls that don't have to carry them. Let's say 12. One grabs Gumbo. So they can die. The owls? Sure. They're just fey. They're temp. Yeah, they're fodder. Yeah. They're what? The owls.

okay i have my head wrapped around this so just to be clear you summoned 16 giant owls turned into an owl and at the same time the fog cloud is dissipating yes does that

Does it go away instantly or does it take a little time? And Flight of the Valkyries plays while an army of owls descend upon the ship. No, it's not. It lasts the duration. But then your concentration drops. So then it's not entirely gone, but it's dissipating at this point. It's a lot easier to see now. Okay.

And so your owls are going and picking everyone up. And then where are they reconvening? We're heading towards the wall. You're heading towards the wall that you now see is on fire. Yes. A little firewall. But good news, we can fly over the firewall. Okay. Make a perception check. As I'm being pulled away, can I ask the chicken, is this a good idea to go to the owls?

24, not bad. 24 perception. I was wondering if you were going to ask the chicken anything. What should we do? The chicken says, the meaning of life is to live, and then it disappears. It goes to the house.

Okay, your percent check was 24. Now that the fog cloud is dissipating and you're out of the fog cloud, you also notice that there are cannons, ballistas, and archers on top of the wall. But it's on fire. Fire wall. From your perspective, it looks like it's on fire. I don't want to get too tied up into it, but yes. So the wall looks like it's on fire. However, the people on the wall are not acting like they're on a wall that's on fire. Correct.

Okay. What's the cloud cover? Partly cloudy. Could we obscure ourselves in the clouds? Yeah. We always can move 60 feet, so you can start that. Well, they actually can do more than that. It's like anti-aircraft. Well, okay. Can they do more? Well, would you call picking them up their action? Right. It's like they got to go in, grab them, and then continue their move. Okay. Then we go 60 feet up. Okay. All right.

All of them? I'd say, could I leave the 12 to Pester? Pester. I won't make you roll all their attacks. Yeah, so they're just like staying down on the ship and then you and three others. Four. Four others fly up 60 feet. Yeah. Okay. What? If they're going to shoot at us, maybe have a couple extra. Oh, right.

I'm Duncan. Remember, Duncan was going to be your advisor. Fine, we'll get Duncan, who's been doing nothing in this combat. He's tiny. Do you want him to make coffee? He'll make you coffee. How far is the wall away from us? I think earlier I said it was about 150 feet. I'm going to stay with that. That's what it looks like. Then sure. How about this instead? I want those, what was it, 11 now? 11 owls to just serve as obscuring us while we fly up. So it's not just seeing that, oh yeah, there's five owls going up. Like, we're all going up. All the owls are going up. That makes sense.

So there are 17 owls flying up in the air. That makes more sense to me. And Flight of the Valkyries is playing. Yes.

how does that go bling john right yes okay all right is uh anything else mud wow are you sure you're not a bard uh no nothing else all right gum gum well i'm carried up with an owl right yeah so i don't know if there's anything you can do um anything i could do to help us escape at this point you know it's just ready up for something yeah the only thing i could do is i could make

make it like rain hail or something but i don't think that's gonna help us rain hail i'll just i'll ready my attack i'll wait okay so you're just gonna delay uh is there anything specifically you would want to wait for uh yeah i'm gonna wait for an attack on us and then you're gonna act yeah whenever something attacks us okay then it is it's my turn this is like one of the other dudes torrens maybe

Yeah, one of the dragonborn on the wall sees you all flying through the air. Oh, no. It seems like he lets loose a flurry of arrows into the multiple owls. But not us. There's a one in four chance that I'll say that it hits you guys. I'm going to roll this one D4. If it's a one, it's one of you guys. It's a four. It kills two of the other owls. I mean, it hits them.

I'm gonna say you don't even know the HP of a giant owl. I have a tab open with giant owl HP. It's not very much, honestly. It's, what, I mean, AC 12, HP 19? Well, if you rolled them.

That's that one. The ballista turns and also opens fire. Oh my God. I don't think they want us into this town. Clearly they don't. Yeah. The question though, we're all disguised as some type of dragonborn or kobold, right?

Yes. So if they saw us flying in, would they think of us as enemy? All they know from their perspective is they see you leaving the area where there was a problem. Okay. So yeah, I mean, if you land, maybe? Question mark? I don't know. Some more deception checks. We can't do that. I can't.

Come, come, go, cannon. Ballista fires, missing you all, landing in the ocean. This is really more suited for a bigger target as opposed to small targets like you all have. Another sniper fires arrows up at you guys. Another couple owls fall. Cannon fires. Oh my gosh. Should we not be going over this way?

I threw out an idea. Yeah, no, it's good. Better than getting... Cannon misses. Stick time. Yeah. Bark, do you have any ideas here? It's your turn. Oh my gosh. Okay, so where are we flying towards the wall? Not over the wall yet. Correct. Correct. Was that correct, John? That's my understanding. I mean, we went straight up. Straight up. Okay, never mind. Straight up.

60 feet up. Towards the clouds. But not over the wall. No. And like a bunch of things are firing at us. It's not just like one guy with a bow or something. There's a couple with bow, a ballista, a cannon. Yeah, there's a lot of fortifications that are firing. What? I'm just so confused. It's like, what is the best version of this ending? We should probably land so that they can't see us.

I have an idea of how we might build the escape. You want to share it? I can cast Leet Storm over the wall that's attacking us. And at 40-foot radius, center of the point I choose, freezing rain and sleet fall, the area is heavily obscured, and it's difficult terrain in that area. How big is the wall? Oh, it's 100 feet tall. I mean, like, wide.

He would do 40 feet. Oh, you can't tell from your perspective, but you don't imagine it's bigger than that. Or wider than that, I should say. I have an idea as well. Yeah, me too. Kyborg, real idea guy. Anyway, that's what I got to try and escape. Okay.

Yeah. Well, I guess how far, like we're all up in the air flying around and stuff, right? Am I at least within 60 feet of everybody, would you say? Your party, mate? Yeah. Yeah. Could I cast Mass Cure Wounds? All right. I'll take it. Why not? Just to heal some people up as we're soaring to the sky. Sure. I like that. I'm going to do it at... For the record, I'm not that badly hurt. I just think it matters. This boy is, and I am. If it matters. Yeah. Let me just do Mass Cure Wounds. Mass Cure Wounds.

wounds. Okay. 3d8 plus 4 which is 13 heal points for everybody. Not much but it's something. So I heal everyone 13 so add 13 not to your real HP. Thank you.

Thank you. I did give you, I think, 13 points of damage earlier, so. Now you're square. Kyborg. Oh, God, you're asking me. The best I'm going to do is shoot at Nikotimae because I still have advantage on those attacks. I don't know where else to go. I mean... You can delay. I'm going to delay. What's the time of day? It's noon-ish. Okay, never mind. Mud. Yeah. So what if I did this, Gus? Gustavo. That's a roll. The third.

If I use my eggless of equipping, which is my new item that allows me to pull an item from inventory while in wall shape. Oh, right. Yeah. And I use that to pull out my dwarven stone of bread. Okay. Which allows me to cast darkness. And since darkness would be it, I looked it up. It would be centered on the object, the dwarven stone of bread. It moves with us. Really? Okay. Interesting. Cool, cool, cool. So if I cast darkness...

15 foot radius. So 30 feet across. 30 feet across. So I've made a dark cloud. And if we went in a dark cloud and then just like went again, we can go 120 feet up in the air now. Yes. Because you could double move. I feel like that would obscure us a bit from any further aggro. Plus there's clouds. Yeah. Okay. Then we go and then I do that and command my owls to come with me. You killed four of them. Yes. Which means I have...

seven more still. More than that, isn't it? Because you had 17 total. I had 16 including myself. Five are carrying our people. You killed four, so I have seven. You're talking to John, not Chris. I'm actually going to follow the rules. I follow the rules. We're on the same team. I'm just dragging you. Yeah, so we go up. We do that. So now we are 180 feet in the air.

and straddled by darkness. - Yeah, and at this point, Duncan would chime in and say, - I think we can use this to our advantage and land at the docks below. - Yeah, I think that went really well. - Mud goes, "Holy crap, you're here? "Who are you?" Okay, and then we head that way. - Okay.

Wait, that's more like a... Do we need to wait for, like, cover of night or anything? It's more like a screech. Yeah, from the air, you know, once you were up, you were able to see, you know, on the other side of the wall, there were some docks. There were two docks, actually. Yeah. So, yeah, using the cover of darkness in a, like, a darkened storm cloud, you would be able to move past the wall without drawing any further fire. This is some nope action. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

and make your way over to those docks. You sit down there, and Duncan says, Well, that was something. I guess we made it past the border into the land of Totora. Mission success. Everyone go and give yourself an inspiration die and five temp HP if you don't have temp HP. Wow. Just earned the tip for doing the most muddled... You made it across the wall. One way or another, you got there. You all look around at the docks, and they appear surprisingly abandoned.

You don't see any dragonborn troops nearby, only vacant ships. You look past the docks and see a paved road that appears to lead up to a gated community. I'm wondering if they have a homeowners association here. Paved road? Let's walk towards the gated community. Yeah. Is it yellow brick? It's not. By the way, I've turned back into a...

If anyone needs to, by the way, before you proceed up the road, y'all could stay here and take a short rest if you want, because it's pretty abandoned. I mean, that's up to the party. I'd be fine for that. Also, can I roll and give them both of those two magic slots? Using what? My Bolstering Magic. Yes. Oh, nice. Does it matter which level spell slot? It'll be one to three, depending upon how I roll. Okay.

It says one creature? Well, one for each of them. So a level two spell slot. And then for you, you get a level three spell slot. Okay. So y'all rest very briefly. And then you said you're making your way up the road to the gate? Yes. You walk up and... Me and my seven pet owls. Yes.

It's made of ornately hewn stone with a sign overhead that's written in draconic. Draconic? Oh, what does it say? I read it because I... You speak draconic. It says, welcome to Gio. It says, welcome to Gio, guys. J-I-O. J-I-O? J-I-O. Is there anybody at the gate? No, and in fact, the gate's slightly ajar. I push the gate open. You open the gate to a quiet cobblestone courtyard with clay homes.

And SMASH! A boulder just misses your head and crashes into the wall next to you. You didn't notice at first because of the quiet, but a bloody battle of green dragonborn and shadowy figures is silently raging all across this courtyard, enshrouded in patches of pitch black darkness. A bruised and bleeding green dragonborn silently falls to the ground just a few feet from where you stand. She barely lifts a blackened face to you all and says something, but no sound is uttered. Her lips move again and you read them perfectly. "Help us."

Twist! Interesting. To find out what's happening, you'll need to listen to the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Oh my god. Where we're going to get the stinkiest we've ever been. Oh no. And I will name all seven of my owls. Who are we helping? You have to make a decision, aren't you? I need somebody. Alright, thanks for listening everybody. Thank you. Bye! Bye!