C01 - Ep. 70 - Betwixt The Bramblecracks - Slujj the Monopol-Ooze
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This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Best wishes to all you Balhannids. Teleport your way into the Stinky Dragon. Knock back our latest nightcap. Vanish into thin lair. It's a mixture of aberrant absinthe, a glass of French champagne, stirred with your latest victim on ice. One taste of this tipsy-tipple is enough to tickle every tentacle on your torso.

Previously, our adventurers skedaddled out of an amnesia-infested croakmire with the help of their terrorshell friend, Tora Thor. They bound their way up the Bramble Castle to the highest spire in the tallest tower. Their cyborg was nearly kebabbed by an enormous ice knife, and the party proffered persuasive performances of beasts.

Say that five times fast. Finally, they were captured by Shaman Soos along with Mud's family, where she convinced Mud to touch the Briar Orb. Good news is that Mud has regained many misplaced memories. Bad news is he never had a brother. Pluck yourself a potation. Let's proceed with this pungent potboiler.

Mud that brambles around your arm loosen enough for you to reach out. Your fingertips touch the brown crystal orb and your surroundings wash over you like raindrops and then refocus on the chiming of bells. You feel a surge of energy lash out at your mind and one by one memories flood into your mind. Swimming in Crokemeyer Lagoon, singing on stage in Morvane, holding hands with your mother and father along the docks of the Babayu.

Your surrounding swirl once again refocus back to the present. Entangled in bramble staring at Zeus. Her eyes look up at the brown orb now swirling with light. She turns back to you and squints. Ah, right. I took the rocks away from you. Looks like you finally got your memories back.

I wanted you to forget this place. I didn't want you to get in the way. But then I found out later I needed three things to free my master from this briar orb. The Diagem, the scroll, and you, the heir of the crown.

If it's any consolation, Clay was never going to die. She waves her staff and Clay is suddenly hovering over the pit. In fact, you never had a brother. She waves her staff again and Clay fades from existence. Ka-ching! The chains from the brown orb fall to the ground and the orb floats in the air swirling with light that gets brighter and brighter. The orb shatters and a cloudy portal opens up at the far end of the room.

One ten twenty years from now.

A century with nothing but scraps to feed on. But I see you've brought guests. Well done, Zeus. Well done. Zeus bows low to the ground. Thank you, Master. It's now the time for me. Patience, Jupiter. Patience. Your reward will come.

But first, it's time for Slydge to save her, this mouth-watering moment for even. Hmm, okay. So many minds on the menu this evening.

Which memories to munch on first? I know.

- Slime spews from Sledge's mouth all across the room. The yellow slime coagulates into several amnesia, closing in on your position. - Snob rockets, move! - Everyone roll initiative. - Oh my gosh. - All right. - I'm rerolling that. It was a one. - We're getting right into it. - 17. - Five. - 12. - 17.

That would be you then. Yep. More dexterous friend of mine. That's not rocket looking. That's all. I don't care his name is Sludge. He's naming him Snot. That's not his name. Nice. He's looking very beefy and very hungry. And very, is he going first in initiative? Believe it or not, I have to look at some dexterity to figure that out. Oh. Ooh.

Sludge rolled the same thing as both of you. Really? Yeah. But he's Sludge, so he has bad dexterity, so I get to go first. I had to look it up to see. We're going to find out, aren't we? He might be even more dexterous if he's slime. Impossible. He's made of vomit. Ew. He is all center of gravity. Oh, actually, I take it back. I looked at Sludge's roll incorrectly. That was my bad. He was not tied with you guys. Was he higher? I'm not saying. Oh. I will find out in a moment.

Alright, so just as a reminder, you're in like a rather big long earthen room and you all have lost all of your items except for the two dia gems and the scroll of amphibolus' blessing. I forgot that we got everything. We nakey. Yeah. We got stolen. Dang. And this is an expansive multi-tiered earthen chamber. It's furnished with tables and shelves of alchemical supplies.

uh, like pottery, vials, scrolls, and a few rotting bodies on the floor. And there's that big pit in the middle of the room that Clay was dangling over for a little bit. Or he got snapped away. Quote-unquote Clay. Right. And when you first arrived, you saw...

Soos at the far end of the room, locking a chest and placing it below a desk. And Soos is holding a staff with a glowing yellow stone embedded onto its head. Just a reminder of everything that you had already seen and figured out just so you have that memory fresh in your head right now. Until the amnesiacs strike.

Speaking of amnusias, like I said, sludge kind of caused some amnusias to appear and they're closing in on you quickly. In fact, one of them slimes its way, I don't know how to describe, one of them oozes its way closer to you. And it's going to try to munch on one of your memories. Are they all alone in the moonlight?

*Gasps* She's quiet next. Gus, you're supposed to get these references, okay? I didn't get it until Barbara started humming. Ooh, it uh, oozes up to, uh, kyborg. No, it doesn't. Yeah, oh hold on, let me double check. Yeah, it does. Okay. She's a kyborg going *makes noises*

and like, I wouldn't say a tentacle, what would you call it? Like a pseudopod kind of lashes out and tries to strike at you. Okay. Okay, it's not a real pod. It's a sort of pod. It's a pseudopod. Oh, it hits AC8, which I assume is a miss. Yeah, it's a miss.

so do i just like swipe away snot maybe like little little droplets fall on you it's in my mouth am i the only one who's like constricted or something they let go yeah everyone okay they let go yeah we're all naked correct knew that somehow feels he could fight better like this

He's in his element. Yeah. You're more free. A second Amnusia closes the distance, entering kind of a position to block you all from advancing further and targets Gum-Gum, lashes out with another pseudopod, hitting a C23. That hits.

Like twice. Gum-Gum, please spare the Gum-Gum. He doesn't have good memory anyways. It does 10 points of bludgeoning damage. Now, Gum-Gum has good memory. It's just his base knowledge is lacking. Well, you can't lose much when you don't have much to begin with. You can't lose it if it wasn't there in the first place. Gum-Gum, what did you forget?

I don't know. I don't know what it is. What kind of damage is it doing? That was bludgeoning. Yeah. And Gum Gum, in addition, you need to make a strength saving throw. You haven't forgotten how to be strong. You can do this.

20. Oh, strongest boy. That pseudopod, like, tries to wrap around you and pull you closer, but you, like, slap it off. And you manage to... It's gross. Don't touch it. Kyborg. That means it is your turn. Then after Kyborg is going to be Bart. Where's Soos? What's she doing? She's at the far end of the room bowing down before Sludge, who has appeared. Oh, that's cute. I aim my hand cannon at her and I fire...

It's built into my arm. I still have my weapon there. Boom! Oh, nice. All right. You have to make an attack roll for that, right? Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Using the wearer's dex modifier to single target. So what you do then is roll a d20, add your dex modifier, plus your proficiency bonus. I don't know what my proficiency bonus would be. For you, it's four. So that'd be five plus five plus four, 14. Oh, yeah. That hits. Okay. Okay.

Okay, I don't want to do it. Uh, great, great, great. Uh, let's look again. I have, uh, what is that, 46? So it's going to do 46 bludgeoning damage and 46 fire damage. That's fun. Watch out.

All right, bludgeoning, and that's fire. So that's 13 and 10, 23. 23. Getting here some old bones crack. I hope. I liked clay. Okay, so then it fires out just like a single cannonball, right? Yeah. Which impacts Soos. She lets out a yelp, and then she becomes engulfed in fire and must make a DC 16 strength saving throw. Yay, I shot an old lady.

She's the last of her kind! Second to last. No, that other guy died. He faded away. Yay! She rolled a two on her strength saving throw. I don't think she made it. No, no. She does not have a plus 14 on strength. She just got walloped into a wall. Just crumbles. She knocked down.

How's she looking? Not good, she's smoldering and you can see the beginnings of a large circular bruise forming where the cannonball impacted her. That's fun. Okay, well that was one attack. I don't have my quipons. I need to go steal from her. That's gonna probably open me up to an attack of opportunity from these booger monsters, right?

Yeah, one of them did lash out and attack at you, so it is within melee range. So if you move out of melee range, it will have an attack of opportunity. What if I use, like, my boots of jumping or my ring of jump? Boots of jumping. Can I, like, jump over it? But that's still going to be an attack. We don't have any of our stuff. Oh, gosh. No, my boots, my rings. Oh, we have no equipment. Correct. Okay. Other than whatever you're packing.

I want to like juke this guy out and then run straight for Seuss to see if I can steal the key from her. So this would be my movement action. And then I also have one more attack.

Okay. So describe your move to me. You said you're going to juke and what? Yeah, I just want to get around this big booger figure, and then I want to go rob that old lady that I just shot. All right. So you're going to move. The amnesia is going to try to lash out at you as you're going around. Let's see if you're able to successfully juke it or not. Yeah.

19. You did not juke it. What is it rolling up against? Your AC. My AC, which is okay. Yeah. You know what, though? I don't like that, so I'm going to do a lucky, and I'm going to make you re-roll that. Oh, all right. I don't like that. I don't like that lucky. I like it. And it rolled a one. Oh, it's a crit fail. Yeah. Chris got really excited about that. Yeah. Well, his eyes got really wide. Crit fail. It's exciting. Well, it went from a win to a super loss.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm there with you. You, uh, you know, start running in one direction past, uh, the amnesia and it lashes out and then, you know, almost as if you anticipated it. You, uh, change directions very quickly and make, uh, the amnesia look stupid. Can it fall prone? Yeah.

I wouldn't say it falls. I don't make you guys fall prone when you roll one, so I'm not going to make it fall prone. Well, as I run past it, can I smack its butt or is that going to give me damage or something? I don't think it has a butt. I don't think you want to touch it. True. I just imagine this big glob and then two little cheeks on the back and then I just go... Is it caked up, basically? Is it cake? Oh, gosh. We'll ignore that. So yeah, I'm going to go up to Soos. You're going to close the distance. Let me check how...

far it is. Remember, there is a circular pit in the middle of the room and the room is multi-tiered. You're going to have to kind of walk around all of that. I assume you're going to want to take as direct of a path as possible. Yes, as long as it doesn't bring me up like through sludge or whatever. So I guess maybe I didn't fully explain the layout of the room. Like I said, there is that pit in the center of the room and Zeus herself is actually kind of right by that pit and then further back in the room, like immediately behind Zeus.

is Lord Lomish and Lady Sandra. And then just a little further back from there on almost like a higher level is where Sludge is. Okay. And then further back at the very back of the room is where Zeus's desk and that chest were.

Oh, behind sludge? Correct. Okay. From where you are, you can close the distance and get to Soos on this turn. Oh, great. With no problem. And in fact, Mud is also pretty close to the pit, so you would pass by him. Remember, he's going to touch the orb. Okay, Mud, high five. Do we have to roll for something? No, just high five me. Why did you do it that way? Blaine went for a high five and then, like, pulled his hand back. High five? Okay, look at my elbow.

Oh, Micah, you can use that audio. I'll give you permission. I saw what you meant. He, like, pulled it back. Yeah, he did, like, a little, like, hesitation thing. Well, I didn't want to use your microphone. Anyways, I high-five him along the way. High-five, high-five. And then I reach Zeus, and then I say, oh, my God, Zeus, I didn't know I was going to hit you that hard. Are you okay? And then shove her, shove her into the pit. And then I unarm strike her into the pit. Oh, my God. But I want to steal her key first. Strike her. Well, we'll see. It'll be, like, shoving, and you want to try to steal the key. I mean, that would kind of be an action. Yeah, sure, why not? Ha-ha.

Little Nigel Thornberry there. Make a, like a slide of hand check, I guess, to see if you can, yeah, pull that key off of her. 12. That's not a good one. No, I could probably roll a lucky if you wanted me to. That's up to you. You got to tell me before I do anything. I sure do, don't I? Wait, you can make him re-roll though. Yeah. Yeah, I could, couldn't I? If I have an opposed roll against that. What do you mean? If it wasn't just like a number you had to hit.

Like if it wasn't a check, if it's not an opposed roll, it's a check. Instead of lucky, I want to do an inspiration die. Oh, okay. That's smart. Yeah. I'm using my inspiration die. So I'll reroll my sleight of hand. Now it's a 15. That's not bad. That's good. That's good? Yeah, it's bad. It's fine. It's fine. You happy with that? Yeah, sure. I guess I already had it rolled. No, whenever I have an opposed roll with you guys, I don't do that one. Typically, I don't do that one in secret. Like normally, you can see the roll as well. Okay.

Just because I want to be nice to you guys. 19. 19. She smacks your hand. You try to grab the key off of her, but I almost had to have anticipated what you were going to do. Her hand was wrapped tightly around it. You're unable to get it. Can I still punch her? Yeah. Okay. Then I do an unarmed strike. I punch her. Punch this old lady. With the...

Goal of shoving her down the pit, right? Well, we need that key. So I just kind of want to incapacitate her. Lucky? He wants a concussion. That's what he's shopping for a concussion. Do you have any concussions today? Gus, re-roll that lucky. I'm going to lucky you. Re-roll that. Okay.

Thanks, Chris. That was good. Wait, the sleight of hand? Yeah, the opposing roll. Gotcha. Yeah, 13. No! Chris is so invested in this battle. I'm here for it, okay? I love it. I like the energy. It's like Chris is watching a movie. He's like watching his favorite anime. No, Lucky, use your lucky drink. You can do it, Kyborg. He's hiding in the closet.

I should do this gum gum. It is very gum gum energy. Well, as far as you guys can tell, it looks like we were just tickling each other, and then I go, and I have a key now. You're like slapping hands. Yeah, you managed to lift the key off of her. Woo!

despite her best attempts to hold on to it. So you knocked an old lady down, lit her on fire, and then robbed her. Yes. That is the summary of what has happened. You sound like a police officer making your report. So let me get this straight. You assaulted her, committed arson. Assault defense. Give me a gun in your badge.

Arm in your badge. Yeah, and then now I want to shove her into that hole. Okay. Oh my goodness. With an unarmed strike? Yeah, so the way shoving normally works is like using your attack, well, using unattack action, which you have one left, you can make a special melee attack to shove a creature either to knock it prone or push it away from you.

So what you want to do is... She's already prone, I will mention. Yeah, so your goal in this point is to shove her away from you. Yeah. A.K.A. into the pit. Was there any sort of advantage because she was prone on any of that stuff? Maybe. That's a no. He forgot. So you want to make an unarmed strike to shove. 100%. So I should roll for that. Yeah. Okay, all right, here we go. And... 13. Yeah, that would hit. So yeah, you would want to make an athletics check with your strength in order to try to shove her. Okay. Okay.

Here we go. That's a 17. Okay, and then she contests it with either strength or dexterity. What is she going to use? I would imagine dexterity. Probably. I don't want to make any assumptions about her, but I'm going to say prone. She's a tiny little shrimp lady. She prone though. Yes. Prone to what? Not prawn.

Which she also is. Nice. She will make a dexterity check. I acknowledge. I'm going to. It's my favorite person at a comedy show. The person just yells out, yes, I acknowledge. I'm paying attention. Thank you.

Yes, I heard what you said. Hey, those people in a group are MVPs. When you're telling a story and everyone else starts not listening and one person make eye contact with you and they're nodding along listening, you're like, thank you. Thank you for not making me feel like I'm talking to nobody. So she rolled a dexterity check with disadvantage. You see she rolled twice. Her dexterity is plus three and she rolled a 19 and a 16, which means her lowest roll is a 19, which overcomes your athletics check of 17.

Get in the hole, lady. All right, you know what? Action surge. I'm gonna punch this lady into that hole. I don't care. I don't care.

I was really just aiming for this lady when there's a giant sludge monster. That's what I was about to say. I was about to say, it's like, you can see the boss behind her. She is the one between us and the boss and our stuff. Where is our stuff? Yeah, where is your stuff? She said she put it in a cabinet, in a chest behind the desk. Yeah, now I have a key. And now he has the key, which the desk is far away.

Yeah. I mean, this is all- But I got friends that teleport and stuff, but now I'm cleaning up this mess so that they don't have to do all the, you know, checks that I'm doing right now. You're welcome! Alright, that was 11. No, that's not good. Okay, well, I get two attacks and an action, so I'm gonna do it again. We're gonna keep at this. Seuss, 15. When do I get to play a character that has multiple actions?

I'm like, a spell, and I move. You don't get two attacks yet? I guess the spell, yeah. That was 15. I don't think I've ever had two attacks.

But at least what Blaine is giving you is plenty of time to look through all your spells and decide which one you want to do. And second guess myself. Yeah. The 15 does hit. So go ahead and make your athletics check. Sure, it's not an acrobatics. Is there another way I can leverage her into that hole? Yeah, I could say if you wanted to, you could try acrobatics. I picture almost like instead of like shoving her, you're like suplexing her. Yes, 100%. Oh my God. All right, so we're going to roll out.

14. Okay. He's gonna roll a dexterity check at disadvantage and she gets plus 3. Okay. Here's the first one. That's a 22. Here's the second one. That's an 8. Okay. In the hole!

How deep is this hole? Is this like a bubble pit or is this like a... She said you were going to find out. She kind of like left it vague and in the air. Like you would, if she threw you in there, you would find out how deep it is. We'll let you find out. We'll let you find out. It's just two feet deep with just really dark water. All right, you pick her up and like do a suplex. But instead of like hitting the ground behind you, you like let go at the last second and she falls into the pit and you hear a very faint screaming get quieter and quieter.

How long does the scream last? Like how many feet would you say the scream lasts?

It would still be going. Remember, a round is six seconds. So all of the actions for one round is six seconds. So all of this is happening super quick despite how long it takes in our time. So it's still going on. This is just great to be on a couple levels of what Kyborg just did. One, I'm glad we're back to the Kyborg that just kills helpless creatures like hamsters. She's not helpless. She took away your brother. He just went for an old lady, like the visual of it all. Played by our friend Elise Willems, right? Yeah.

And then also the fact that you learned nothing from fighting Quadrant. And that turned out fine. Because you nuked everything on Mirandalorian. Yeah. And then now... Yeah. The obliterated. All right. Is that it for you, Kyborg? God, I hope it is. I have the key and I say, Ma, I killed your teacher, but I got a key. So someone, if you want it...

I thought you said mom. I killed your teacher. I thought he did too. It didn't really come through there. Mommy, mama, mom, mommy. It's when the kid's at school and actually calls a teacher mom. And everyone laughs. I'm pretty pleased with myself. I'm good. I stand there naked, arms on my hips. Arms akimbo. It's a good thing I didn't have any more questions to ask this person to understand what the hell happened to my life. Don't worry about it. He got your mom and dad. She got a shell, right? Yeah.

I don't know. She'll land. I hope you guys didn't eat that staff she had.

Bart, you're up. So now that... Did she drop it? Did she drop it? No! No, she was holding on to it. Now that Shaman Seuss is in the nether regions, so we have Sludge, who's how far away from our group? Sludge is on the opposite, well, not quite the opposite end of the room, but pretty far, like even behind where Seuss was. How many feet? From where you're standing, like direct line. So this would not be movement, just FYI. Yes.

to move a little differently, but direct line from where you are. As the crow looks.

Yes, as the crow looks about 60 feet. Okay, cool. Sludge. And the amnesias? Two of them have closed and are pretty close. One of them, you know, is right next to Gum-Gum. One of them is where Kyborg was, so right up on the party. And there's two other ones who are kind of flanking off to the sides, kind of where Zeus was previously. They're not like within melee range of where that was. They're about 15 feet off to the side, either side of that. Okay. But you imagine they will be closing on you whenever they have a chance to go.

Okay. Well, I think I'm still going to try to go for Sludge because I feel like he's controlling all of these. So take out the head. Mothership rules. I'm going to cast a new spell on him called Synaptic Static.

It is a spell that you choose a point within range and cause psychic energy to explode there. Each creature in a 20-foot radius sphere centered on that point must make an intelligence saving throw. A creature with an intelligence score of two or lower can't be affected by the spell. I assume he has a higher intelligence of that. Two's pretty low. What's your intelligence, Gum-Gum?

Okay, there you go. So it would have to be dumber than gum gum. Yeah. Target takes 8d6 psychic damage on a failed save or half as much on a successful one. And the range is 120 feet. Oh my God. Dude, that's a fifth level spot.

I'm imagining the water cooler between two fans who are listening to this and like, did you hear Bart's new spell that just dropped this week's episode? It just dropped. Just a psychic nuke. Yeah, I guess like who's within a 20 foot radius of sludge? Lord Lomis and Lady Sandra are about 50

15 feet closer to you than Sludge is, but you could center it behind Sludge. Behind Sludge, yeah. That's what I was going to ask if I could put it like... So just basically when it explodes out, it hits him, but not the family or us. I'm trying to see if you get an amnesia as well. Give me just a second.

like using my fingers to like... Gus being a bro. Yeah, Gus is like one of those like really cool accountants. He's like, I'm gonna see if I can get you a little bit more on deck. I don't think either of the remaining Amnesia would be within range no matter how you place it. That's okay. I'm getting sludge.

So you pick a point kind of behind Sludge. We would say it was most likely like between Sludge and the desk that Zeus was at before. Okay. And you pick that as the point and Sludge must make intelligence save, right? And he needs 15 or higher. His intelligence is plus two. That's a 13. So it is a failed save. Full damage. Excellent. So Bart, you get to roll 8d6 psychic damage. 8d6 coming in hot.

30. Probably not very high. No, that's still good. Just one action. 30 psychic damage. And also, after a failed save, a target has muddled thoughts for one minute. During that time, it rolls a d6 and subtracts the number rolled from all of its attack rolls and ability checks, as well as its constitution saving throws to maintain concentration. I'm going to roll it. Okay. One. Okay. Okay.

So I guess you subtract one from any rolls that that creature does. The target can make an intelligent saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. Art gave Sludge long COVID. Oh, Jesus. It is COVID. The synaptic static explodes with, like, psychic energy behind Sludge, and he lets out an awful roar. Seems like he's in incredible excruciating pain. Sludge.

And he thrashes about wildly where he is, seemingly from all of the damage you've inflicted on him. Can I tell if anything affected the amnesias when that happened? Did they writhe? Yeah, did they get affected at all? Whenever there's a psychic damage, I just imagine eating ice cream too fast and getting a brain freeze. That's what I imagine. Like, oh, yeah!

I'm imagining it's that moment from, you know, that movie with Bradley Cooper where he's taking that, like, those pills. Limitless. Limitless. Where he, like, starts to, like, fade in and out, kind of, from, like, time skips. Make me a perception check.

- 24. - It does not seem like there was any effect on the amnesia. - Okay. And then as a bonus action, I would like to do my mantle of inspiration.

As a bonus action, spend one use of Bardic Inspiration to grant 11 temporary hit points to up to three creatures you can see and that could see you within 60 feet. Blaine is waving. Yeah, I would like to give to Kyborg, Mud, and Gum-Gum if I could see them. Yes, you can see all of them. You each get 11 temporary HP.

All I did was push an old lady down a pit after robbing her, and you just launched a nuke, a WMD. And you got the key to the chest, which I imagine is a very important piece of the puzzle. Well, unfortunately, I was trying to offline with Chris. I was like, you should teleport to the chest. Or to her staff. Or after the lady who has the staff, because apparently that's important. No, no, I just said, I hope you don't need it.

We're going to be like four arcs in later and it's going to be like, all right. And the last thing you need to do is just get the staff and you win the entire game. Bye.

I gotta go to a hole in the bayou. In the bayou. Why are you stuttering? So you use the Mantle of Inspiration, right? Yeah. Just as a reminder, anyone affected by the Mantle of Inspiration can also immediately use a reaction to move your speed without provoking attacks of opportunity. Yeah, so any of you need to move. Whoa.

- I can do it now. Is it on their turn or just right now? - It's right now. - Immediately. - What's my distance from Sludge? - Mud, your distance from Sludge. So as the crow flies or as you would have to walk? - Walk. - So you would have to go kind of like up two flights of stairs and kind of run 'cause he's kind of on a, from your side, it's kind of like a tall pillar. So you have to go up a staircase to your left, continue going up to the north,

up some more stairs and then kind of like hook around to your right. Movement for you, it's about 70 feet away. What's the distance to that pit? Like across it?

though how wide the pit is it's only about 10 feet wide i actually i'm fine where i am if you ran past me picked me up took me the full distance then dropped me then i could take my movement can't pick you up no no no it's just you can just move i'm gonna go towards sludge are y'all you probably should i'll have to give you the key so maybe we should do it not over the pit but like at some point i need a third yeah i'll run to cardboard like a baton yeah all right yeah is that how far away is that it's about

about 30 feet. Okay, well, I can go 10 feet past them. So I'll join we can go together gum goes 30. cardboard goes 10. So you have your option actually, from the position where you meet cardboard, you can either go west or east up some stairs to then reconverge at the northern part of the room. So you want to go 10 feet towards the stairs to your west or 10 feet towards the stairs to your east, I could meet you up at the top of the stairs. You don't have to run past me. Insert it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So I would say go the maximum distance and then I'll try to meet you there. Which you will because you're already closer. So yeah, I'll go. Is there a difference between the left and right? The room's almost like split down the middle. It's the same left and right. That's an oblong room. I'm just asking just so I know like where to place you guys. I'll go to the left. Oh, okay.

You're coming with me. Okay. And just to be clear, I said oblong. It's really kind of bell-shaped where it's flat on the bottom and then kind of curved at the top. Okay, so GumGum went left. Kyborg or Mud? I'm staying. Mud, you're staying in position. I think I might hold on to that attack advantage.

- Can I pass the key on to Gum Gum? - We'll say he can grab it as he runs by. - Yeah, I'll meet you up there. But like you see, I have a 35 foot walking speed. So it'd be kind of a waste for me to just blow it on 10 feet. You know what I mean? - Sure. - Okay, so no one else is moving for reaction. - Right. - Okay. Mantle of inspiration. - Mantle. - What else Bart? What else you got? - I think that's all I'm able to do. I wanna move slightly away from these.

and Mugias as well. Okay. Backwards. You're kind of like at the southern end of the room. Okay. Maybe you could like get closer to the wall, like maybe like take a five foot step back just to increase a little bit of space, but it's not like you can create a ton of space. Or alternatively, if you wanted to,

you could move towards like the southwest or the southeast corner. So you're not increasing north to south distance, but you're increasing like lateral distance, west to east. Yeah, let's do southwest. Mark is cozying up to the southwest corner of the room. It's not like that corner of the room is empty. There's assorted tables and vials and equipment scattered about as well. And I guess I can't look at that.

My turn is probably up by now. I mean, if you want, you could make like an investigation check just to see what's like around there. Yeah. Can I do that? Yeah. Go for it. Everyone's distracted by all my friends moving about. Yeah. Give me the key. No, you give me the key. You said investigation? Yeah. 15. 15.

Yeah, you take a look and, you know, you see like on the table right by there's like a glass beaker, a mortar and pestle, a couple of small pouches with like mundane ingredients like, you know, salt, iron powder, stuff like that. However, two things do stand out to you. There's a little pouch that looks like it's like a higher quality pouch than the other ingredients and a vial that looks like it has fog in it.

It looks really cool. Like you can see it, the contents of the vial like swirling about. Is there any label on it? Anything on the label? Keep that in the final cut. Yeah, yeah. I guess let's make an arcana roll. Okay.

19. Nice. Oh, yeah. It literally went from 6 to 16. Bottled toot. The container that looks like it has like swirling dancing fog in it. You recognize it. You've encountered these before once on your pirating adventures. Of course. It's a potion of gaseous form.

You remember that you've seen people use this before, that whenever someone drinks this, they gain the effect of gaseous form. So they become like a misty cloud for an hour. Oh, Bart, that's perfect for you. Is it? Yeah, because then you don't have to worry about them grabbing you. It's true. You just move around like a ghost. Are you still able to use spells and attacks and whatnot as a gaseous form? Specifically spells, I guess. If you adopt this form, you cannot attack or cast spells.

It'd be very good though for like, you know, entering an enclosed space. And your movement is really slow, like a very slow cloud of fog moving about. And then can I also see, grab that pouch that looks different than the others? Yeah, it looks like it's a dust of disappearance.

Ooh. I was hoping it was that salt stuff. Dust of Disappearance. Does that, uh, are you able to use? Wait, what does it do? It's like a very fine sand and you have to use an action. We throw it in the air. You and objects within 10 feet of you become invisible for a couple of minutes. Ooh.

But could still use spells? Yeah. It's essentially like an extreme invisibility. Right. But if you attack or cast a spell, then the invisibility would, like, fade away. I guessed that there was salt around. It's like mundane salt. Not like... I don't have any pockets. You got that ninja sands where you just go... Is there any, like, rope or anything around? Sure. Why not? Yes. There's rope. You find rope.

Could I tie this little vial and the baggie to the rope and then around my waist? That's right, you're naked. Yes. Yeah, I ain't got no pot. I need my hands free. You find some rope wrapped around almost like a belt around a corpse in the corner of the room. Bart fashions a beautiful belt that loops around these items and he does a little shimmy and they go clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. And that is, I believe, the end of my turn.

Okay. The other Amnesias are going to act and after them is Gum Gum then Mud. First of all is the one that you ran towards, Gum Gum, the one that's on the west side. It closes the distance down with you and it's going to try to make an attack. It lashes out with its pseudopod. Hitting AC 15. Misses. With that nice armor? Yeah, I'm always without armor. You don't have any AC bonus? Well, I do, but I don't have armor, so I'm always unarmored.

This is my normal AC. That's what my question was. Normally, do you have any AC bonus? From armor, I think it's what John's asking. That's what I'm asking. No, because I don't wear armor. That's the answer. When I say, do you have an AC bonus, you kept saying yes, which meant you have armor on. Well, I'm unarmored bonus. What does Gum Gum normally wear? His wizard hat and robe. Okay, just like wizard out his tattered...

Wizard. Gotcha. You know, if you go to StinkyDragonPod on Instagram and TikTok and Twitter, you can find visualizations of GumGum. Maybe in puppet form. Follow us, please. Yeah, you should absolutely go see the puppet things. Those are awesome. Yeah.

So the pseudopod lashes out, you duck, it like maybe hits the top of your wizard hat, but your wizard hat stays on your head. How do you keep his wizard hat on when I'm naked? Oh, no, never mind. You're right. He's naked. I forgot you're naked. No, no, no. Keep him naked, but with a wizard hat. You could leave your hat on.

I think that's funny. And normally I would say yes, but I feel like Gum-Gum would, if he still had his hat, would think he still had magic powers or some ability because of it. So I'm going to say no because of that, just because it would affect potentially how Gum-Gum would act. Understood. Magic and sorting hat. It's time for the other Amnesia to act. The one coming from the eastern side. It like oozes down towards the middle of the room where Kyborg and Mud are.

It's going to lash out at mud. Oh. You can put up with this mud? Huh? You can put up with that? I mean, I'll see. Let me see what your rolls and I'll let you know if I put up with it or not. You can put up with this? I think you will not put up with it. Yeah, the pseudopod lashes out and hits AC 24. Yeah, I don't even have to look that up. I was about to pull up that screen on my tablet. Nope. Okay, it does 12 points of bludgeoning damage. There goes the 10 HP. Hey.

I like that. And you need to make a strength saving throw. That's only a 14. Oh, it works. The pseudopod hits you and tries to grab onto you, but you manage to like, like break it off. You spread your arms out and like push the pseudopod away. No, what it is, it's that meme on TikTok right now where everyone's dodging a person as they're stabbing. Oh yeah. All right. Gum gum, you're up. And then after gum gum is mud. Oh,

How far am I away from the desk? Because you ran, right? You ran up to Kyborg and then went another 10 feet, right? Yeah. So I assume you mean running distance to the desk. You're about 60 feet roughly. Okay. Well, I'm going to rage. I rolled a two on my rage. Okay. I can teleport up to 30 feet to an unoccupied space. That's helpful. That's very helpful. I can't get that because I wouldn't be able to get back if

if I went after the staff. Oh, yeah, you'd just be falling with her. You got your rod? No, I don't. You don't have your rod. We don't have anything. Yeah, I was... I forgot. So I will teleport 30 feet towards the desk. Is there a good place where I'm not near Sludge? Yeah, you could go up the first couple of stairs. You went left, so up towards, you know, a little further on the northwest, and you'd still be out of range. In fact, the whole way you could go, the distance I gave you, you'd be out of Sludge's range. And if I teleport, am I closer than I was previously?

previously? Yeah, you could make progress if you want. If that's your goal, absolutely. Well, I mean, is it more direct to just teleport? Oh, I see what you're saying. You said it was 40 feet. Wait, you said it was like 60 feet going all the way around. If you went directly as the crow flies, it would reduce the distance, but sludge is in the way. Okay. In that. I will teleport 30 and to avoid sludge. Okay. So you teleport, you're roughly halfway. You close half the distance between yourself and the desk. Okay.

Okay, so now it's only... About 30 feet to the desk. Okay, well then I use 30 feet to get to it and look for the chest and open it. Yeah, I mean, you find the chest. You had seen Soos, you know, stash it down there. And the key seems to fit. And you're able to unlock it.

And what's inside? A treasure trove of goodies. The spoils of the infinites of the level 10 adventurers. So our stuff? Yes, your stuff. Okay. I was like, get to the point. I was like, we're level 10 adventurers. You're also the infinites. Funko pops. Funko pops.

Am I able to put my stuff on? Yes. You rummage through and you, you know, you don't have very much stuff. It's not like you have to put on a ton of armor or anything like we covered. So yeah, you're able to get your stuff and equip. Bring me my stuff. Yeah, I'm trying. Bring me my stuff. Bart likes being naked.

Yeah, can I... As far as my actions go, what can I do? What is the equipping stuff and opening the chest? Does that use my action? Yeah, so combined so far, I would say you've used an action. You know, unlocking the chest, rummaging through it, finding your stuff and putting it on. Yeah, so I will now turn and sprint back. I guess I was asking because I didn't know if I could double speed. Do you have any movement left? No, you would not be able to double move. I'll have 10 movement back. But if he's double attack, could you do...

Remember, it's not like you're getting another action. You just become quicker and more proficient with your attacks. I don't have action surge. Oh, you should look into it, Gum-Gum. So you have 10 feet of movement. I see you're going to go back the direction you came. You reach roughly like midway down the final flight of stairs leading up to the desk. And this is actually the point where you are closest to Sludge. He's probably about 10, 15 feet away. That was Gum-Gum Mud. You're up.

I need my stuff. I do need my stuff. Go get your stuff. You have so many spells. I found all our stuff! He's got your stuff. Go get your stuff. Well, I have spells, but I need my components. Because some of my nasty... So, what were you going to do before we opened the chest? I realized that about halfway through...

Your round that I was like, oh, I'm being a good little student and not pushing all the buttons and just going, ah, I can do whatever I want. John, alternatively, if you want, you can use this action to take a moment of silence for your fallen teacher, Seuss, because she fell down a pit. I'll cope with that in a moment is the motto I've lived my entire life by. Uh,

Is Sludge technically a shape changer? Because that's going to decide whether I do one of two things. No, a shape changer is a specific like class or enemy.

And Sludge right now has a negative one on saves. Attack rolls, ability checks, and concentration checks. So not all saves. Not saves. What do you love to? There's just like, it's not just like, I shoot an arrow. It's like, okay, this move could do this, but then it'll cause this check to happen, but it can only be cast on these people. So that's part of it. So I'm doing a little bit of research here.

I assume you're asking about shape changer because of polymorph. Yeah. And so in D&D, a creature is considered a shape changer if you have the monster subtype shape changer. Okay. For the purposes of polymorph, Sludge does not have the monster subtype of shape changer. Okay. His monster subtype is. Okay. Now, I'm going to do this. I cast Anti-Life Shell.

Anti-life shell. That sounds bad. It does. Anti-life. Anti-life shell. Just say it. You're pro-death. A shimmering barrier extends out from you in a 10-foot radius and moves with you, remaining centered on you and hedging out creatures other than undead and constructs, and the barrier lasts for one hour. It's a magic lawnmower. No, it's a... Oh, hedging out. Stupid. Okay.

So no one gets to touch mud with melee attacks or any melee touching for the next hour. No touchy. You're like the emperor in an emperorship group. That's cool. You guys have some wicked spells. We should get naked more often. Yes, because that's the only time we could use these spells. Yeah. So is it only you or can you allow anyone to be in the shell with you if you wanted to? It's just me. Okay.

It's just I now like am Susan Storm and I'm moving around this room. I picture it's like the bubble shield in Halo. Like it just like it's a shimmering half sphere that appears around you. No, it's the comic book reference I made, not the video game reference you made. For me, it's video game.

So if you move so that an affected creature is forced to pass through the barrier, the spell ends. I read that as like if I were to put something in a position where it couldn't move, the spell bursts. Yeah, you like back someone into a corner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't like just crush them with this barrier. Gotcha. That'd be cool though. It would be cool. And I think they put that in there. So you just wouldn't do that. That's a sixth level spell. Yeah. So then with that in mind, I guess I just want to move towards my stuff. Okay, I'm going to.

Yeah. So from where you are, like I gave Gum-Gum the option earlier, you can either take a westerly path or an easterly path going up the room. Well, I'm further up the left path. I have a quick question, though. On my way there, I'm sure I'm not this lucky, but are any of the amnesias close enough to the pit that I could push them into the pit? No.

Two of them were down to the south. Oh, yeah, one attacked you, or one tried to attack you, and you were right by the pit. I did. Yeah, so yes. This is just with movement. There is no check. They are forced out of my way as I move. Now I'm imagining Soos at the bottom of the pit, and she's already like, and then an Amnusia comes...

So you're trying to like use the barrier to push the amnesia into the pit? Right now, Mud is playing monkey ball. Gotcha. So not really because there is ways for the amnesia to escape either to the left or to the right. Like the pit would not be the only avenue to escape. Okay. But what if he circled around it and went straight towards like that push him directly? It's like a circle and an object. Like they can always just move to one side to get away. It's my turn. It's not allowed to move. Yeah.

But I mean like you wouldn't be able to force it like that's kind of like forcing the barrier. I was just curious. I was just curious. Okay. Then I want to go to the west towards my stuff. Yeah. And that's where I guess the gum gum was running. Yeah. And I go 30 feet. Yeah. At that point, you know, you obviously you closed in on gum gum and you kind of close in on that amnesia that had previously attacked gum gum on that side as well. Yeah. Is that it for you? Yeah. Okay. Finally, it's Sludge's turn. Yeah.

What are we, like an hour in? He's got a headache. He needs to rest. Has anyone else done damage to Sludge? No, we haven't attacked. I killed his assistant. Or, you know, through a minion. Okay, like I said, Gum Gum is only about 10-15 feet away from Sludge. Sludge oozes over and closes the distance between the two of you.

Lashing out similar to the Amnesia's lashing out with a sort of pseudo pod trying to strike you hitting AC 25. - That will hit. - Sure, you need to check. - Doing 36 points of damage. - What kind of damage? - Bludgeoning. - Okay, so 18. - My goodness. - He's a raging boy. - We need stuff like that. - Yeah, you take half. - Okay, we already half that actually. - However, when it touches you, you feel your mind overloading with memories.

And it hurts. It gives you like a splitting headache, causing 30 points of psychic damage.

In addition? Yeah. Gendry does not have defenses against psychic damage. Does not. Plus, go ahead and make me a strength saving throw. Psychic is, I'm guessing, different than necrotic. Yeah. Necrotic is like rotting death. Psychic is like mental. Wait, so I got to make sure I add all this right. So you would take 48 points? 18 plus 30. Yeah, 48. And what is he rolling? Strength saving throw. Not good.

- Oh my goodness, you really don't want to be touched by Sludge. - Strength saving throw. - Oh, so I rolled the wrong one. Accidentally did check. But I rolled a 19 plus nine. - 28. - 28, and I have advantage on it, so I'm gonna roll again just in case. I'm gonna take the target. - As Sludge hits you, the pseudopod tries to wrap around you, constricting you, but you manage to break free from it.

All right. And I'm going to use my reaction to roll my rage again. And that is a seven. Let's see what that does. Not full on. That's a three. Yeah, no.

That's the one you know? Yes. I always count on it. Oh, oh, oh. This is appropriate. Is it a necrotic tendrils one? No, it's a dramatic dragon. Flowers and vines temporarily go around you until your rage ends. The ground within 15 feet of you is difficult terrain for your enemies, so he gets wrapped up in flowers. A lot of flowers. Okay. He calls this one...

Woodstock. Does Sludge have seasonal allergies? It's like one of those commercials for allergy medicine where you see the big green slimy monsters and all the flowers. Do you suffer from seasonal allergies? Sludge may be right for you.

Okay. Well, Sludge doesn't like that. Okay. He made him flowers. What's better than that? What's constricting him? It's not letting him move. He likes to move around freely. He goes ahead and opens up a dimension door. That's my move. And moves away from you. He teleports himself using dimension door so that he is now to the southwest of you between Gum Gum's position and mud. Okay. Aren't I in the southwest? You're further down at the very south of...

Opportunity attack. So thanks, Sludge. Yeah, Sludge. I like how Gum-Gum all of a sudden gets really sassy about it. Yeah, Sludge. Coughing up blood. Yeah, that's all for Sludge. Well, does he not get the opportunity attack? Oh, yeah. I mean, Dimension Door, does that help? No. I don't think Dimension Door provokes, but let me double check. That's a good question for you. Do you think if we saved your dad and mom, they would help us? Yeah, I don't know. What if they're not real, too?

You don't provoke an opportunity attack in this case, according to Jeremy Crawford, who is the lead rules designer of Dungeons and Dragons at Wizards of the Coast. All right, but let's get a second opinion. So if you ever want to use that for reference, Dimension Door does not provoke an attack of opportunity, according to some dude on the internet. Some dude who made the game, whatever. A

Apparently, this was a very debated question. So he had to make a ruling on this. I could understand why. I mean, yeah, you know, because you're escaping. You have to walk through the door. Right. That's what people say. Yeah. But I guess it depends on where you open the door. You could open it right below you. Exactly. Oh, that's cool. Just for reference, how big is Sludge? He's got a huge, right? Yeah, huge. The size class for him is listed as huge. So he's massive. Cool. I mean, not cool, but.

I hate it. Big ol' buggy. At the desk where the chest was, you see a portal open up at the floor. A 10-foot wide portal, and Sooth comes shooting up through it. And the portal closes and she lands on her feet at the desk. Get in your hole! Do you think she opened that up or do you think there's just a portal at the bottom? When she did that, was she doing anything? What did we see? It looked like she was falling.

But like, it doesn't make sense. Like she was falling upwards. Then like came to a stop and then the portal under her closed. And then she just landed on her feet. How much damage did she take? None. She didn't go more than 10 feet in the air. She's pretty old though. Just saying.

Roll for osteoporosis. That's cool, though. She opened, like, a dimension door or something and then, like, fell. I like Blaine's suggestion that for our next testing D&D in real life, we will drop a senior citizen from 10 feet in the air and see what it does to them. Check us out on TikTok. We're going to do it. So, Gus, we're going to need to drop you from 10 feet in the air. Oh, no. Now we're testing burns. Sludge didn't like that. He kills mud. Seuss looks over at Gum Gum. Hey.

and concentrates and begins, you know, waving her staff around, and a 20-foot cube appears over in the area where Gum-Gum is, and it seems like it's making a loud screaming noise emanating from inside of it. Gum-Gum, make a wisdom saving throw. Gum-Gum, I want you to just attack my sludge. That's an A. Should I... I'm going to use my inspiration die. Okay. Fair. Because I feel like... Yeah, you don't want giant death cube hanging over you. Well, and I feel like one big boss fight, I

failed the wisdom saving throw and I was frozen the whole time. We remember. We remember. Yes! 18. Nice! Oh, okay. Excellent. That's 10 more than last time. Ghost. Ghost, ghost. Why is it a burn that you did math? You feel like all the screams are getting inside your head, you know, creating discordant thoughts and a bunch of pain from inside you. You take four points of psychic damage from these otherworldly screams.

I don't like it. Be quiet. I know you have like a gazillion things in your inventory. Any chance you have ibuprofen in your inventory? No, but I can. I'm going to use my unstable backlash. What does that mean? Well, anytime I take damage, I can reroll my wild magic. Okay. Flump. Flump. Flump. Let's see what we got on the menu. We got number six. Not a flump. Numero seis. I think we've had a six before. Oh.

Oh, yeah. I think I've gone through all of them. Until your regions, you're surrounded by multicolored protective lights. You gain plus one bonus AC, and while within 10 feet of you, your allies gain the same bonus. So you get like a little bonus AC. Yeah. Is anyone else within 10 feet of you? Not yet. Mud is the closest. Yeah, but I can't get near mud. Is he 10 feet? Not yet. It's getting close, though.

You can't. You can't because I got a cool bubble. And that concludes round one of combat. Jesus. It's... We're like... We did a lot. A lot happened. Yeah, but it's an hour and a half into our recording, my dude. That was a lot. But a lot happened. Yeah. Shot an old lady. You got all of your equipment back. I wonder why I don't do combat a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ready for a two-part boss battle?

What's up, my stinkers? If you want more malodorous content like this show, go follow us at StinkyDragonPod on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. Join us on the StinkyDragon subreddit where creative folks like you are regularly posting fan art, D&D ideas, and other fun surprises. If you post on social media using hashtag StinkyDragonPod, we might name an NPC in the show after you. For example, here's some recent NPCs that were named after folks that interact with us on social media. Torthor, the teleporting terror shell named after...

Torathor, but you didn't guess that one was coming. Shaman Seuss named after at Seuss861 and Clay Bramblecrack named after at Major Clay. And I'm going to give some special thanks to our friends who provide VO for characters in the previous episode. Shaman Seuss voiced by Elise Willems and Clay Bramblecrack voiced by Alfredo Diaz.

It's time for the initial amnusias that started the round, the ones that are down at the south of the room. Everyone has left that area where they were. Bart, you're in the southwest. Mud, you're over there. Gungam, you're over there. Kyborg, you're over there. At this point, for them, Bart and Kyborg are about the same distance. Mud has a shell around him.

Yeah, attack him. He is so little. I was going to say, you're just highlighting reasons you should be cornered. I'm so little. This first one's going to head towards Bart. I don't have a lot of memories. After they go, it's going to be Kyborg and then Bart. But I'm sure old ladies, you don't want to mess with me. Well, they might. You don't know. Maybe it's their old lady. All right. The first one closes in on Bart lashing out at Bart hitting AC8, which I assume is a miss. Miss.

The second one moves up to the north to close in with kyborg also lashing out with a pseudopod. Ooh, hitting AC 24. - Roll that again. - No. - Lucky. That's gotta be your last lucky. - It is. Maybe I should say, you know what? Okay, I'll take it. Fine, fine, fine. - Then don't reroll. - Don't reroll it. I'll take it. - In that case, yeah, it connects doing 14 points of bludgeoning damage.

Not that bad. And go ahead and make me a strength saving throw. Strength saving throw. 25. I hate you. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, the Amnusia is frustrated and enraged and begins spitting out green ooze all over you. Make a constitution saving throw. Okay. I have advantage on these. That's a 22. Let's see if I can do better. Come on, I can do better than that. And... 24. I hate you guys. You don't let me have any fun. Yeah! All right, that's it for them. Kyborg. And then after Kyborg is part. Okay. Uh...

How far away is Gum Gum? From where you are, we'll say Gum Gum is rough. Ooh. As a crow flies, not too bad, but walking there, you kind of have to go around this pedestal that Sludge is on. Man, it's going to be about 60 feet of movement. Uh, okay. You could wait. You could hold your turn until after me. Uh...

Yeah, I could do that. Are you a lefty? Yeah, right? I can just wait and then can I just insert myself wherever after that? How does that work? You can take the ready action, which lets you act using your reaction before the start of your next turn. You gonna be moving soon? I'm right after Bart. Okay, right? It's Bart and then a couple of enemies and then Gum-Gum.

I wonder if I should just attack. Okay, yeah, I'm going to wait. You sure you don't want to damage any enemies? I'm unarmed. He's unarmed. He's useless at this point. That's why he's been doing a lot of unarmed strikes. I'll just be slapping him. So what's the plan here? He's waiting. I'm going to hold. So normally you declare what you're waiting for. You would say like you're waiting for Gum-Gum to act and then you're going to go? Yeah, I'm going to wait until Gum-Gum moves. Theoretically after Gum-Gum's turn.

He's essentially turning to Gum Gum and saying, when you move, I move. Right. Just like that. There you go. Yes. Okay, Bart, that means you are up. So I got this one little guy trying to hit on me. Yeah. What's new? Yeah.

No one can resist Bart. But do I want to keep trying to hit Sludge? Because I could just do my synaptic static again. Did pretty good. Pretty cool when you did it. Oh, you're wondering if you need to get this guy off of you. Right. Because I'm also scared that if I take this little guy out, another one's just going to appear again. That's a good theory. You know? I say go for Biggie. Yeah, I'm going to try my synaptic static again.

on uh, Sludge. You cannot defeat Sludge.

Try anything you like. But because people have moved closer to him, could I place it in a way where, again, it only shoots out and hits him? Yeah, you can get him, like, in a corner of it and angle it so that it does not affect Gum-Gum or Mud, since Fludge is currently between the two of them. Yeah. And I can't see any way to hit another enemy. Let me double check. What if at the same time I'm casting it, I punch out?

You actually could probably get one of the amnesias as well. The one that was out there by GumGum. Okay, yeah. So you could get sludge and an amnesia in it at the same time. Hell yeah, let's do that. That sounds pretty cool. So they both need to make an intelligence saving throw. All right, so first I'm going to do sludge plus two. Does he not have any residual effects from the last one? That's a fail. He had minus one to his attack rolls and ability checks. Got it. But just for one minute.

Oh, he should have rolled to try to end that on his turn. I forgot. But it doesn't matter. You're redoing it now anyway. And then for the Amnesia. Oh, the Amnesia actually makes it. Weird. All right. I rolled a 16 on that one. But then he still takes half damage. Yes, correct. So go ahead and roll your damage. Okay, that is a 30 again. With my 86. So the Amnesia would take 15 and then Sludge would take the full 30. And Bart's taking out Sludge. Yeah, dude. Bart bringing all that damage in. Bart doesn't like sticky things.

First of all, the amnesia that was closest to Gum-Gum that is affected by the half damage just explodes. Yeah, whoever, I guess, Gum-Gum, you were by, you're covered in bits of ooze. And memories. Sludge himself once again begins howling in extreme pain, thrashing about from the effects of the synaptic static.

And you have to roll your D6 to see. Do I roll it or do you roll it? You rolled it last time. You do it, Bart. Okay. That's my bad. You should have done it. My bad. It's better. That's so better. We're getting better. One more. Next time it'll be a three. Oh, wait. Just kidding. I can't do it anymore because it's my second, fifth little slot and that was it. It's okay. All right. Oh, yeah. Sludge is looking not good. Based on what he looked like when he first arrived versus now, you know he's in a bad place. Okay. And then I imagine if I move away from the...

amnesia that's right next to me it'll provoke yes unless the door thing but she already cast i can't yeah never mind um could i oh you could do type an animal in world of warcraft what kudu right guys bantakudu kudu bantakudu kudu is the star wars thing that's where you're

As a bonus action, I'm going to use Guardian of Nature and I'm going to become a great tree. I'm going to become a great tree. But it does give you like what? 10 temporary HP, advantage on constitution saving throws, and dexterity and wisdom based attacks with advantage. And while you're on the ground, the ground within 15 feet of you is difficult terrain for your enemies. Okay, so Bart goes tree mode, develops a barky skin.

Yeah, and you put your roots down. Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Plants and roots. - I like this place. - I like to imagine I'm too tall now for the Amnesia to touch me. - Is that it for you Bart? - Yeah. - Okay, it's the Amnesia who exploded its turn, but that one is gone. It's the other one's turn who's over a little more by the east side. It's gonna close the distance. Oh, I was gonna say mud, but it can't get close to mud because you've got that anti-life shell. - No touching. - So it's gonna go to the next closest party member, which is Kyborg.

I have a force field as well! Another amnesia rolls up to you and lashes out, hitting AC 8. It's not my day. I'm gonna go back to bed. It's also gonna spew mucus all over you. Make a constitution saving throw. Constitution saving throw. Here we go. 26, I have advantage on that, but I'll stick with that.

This is all in characters, the monster. Fine. I'll allow it. All right. It is Gum Gum's turn. Okay. And then after Gum Gum is going to be Kyborg and then Mud. Also, I wanted to add, every time they've attacked me, I've been doing breakdancing. Like just dancing around all the sludge and stuff. Don't say things like that. He'll make you do a check. Again, like that TikTok trend where you're just like dodging left and right. So it's me and then...

a space and then mud and then kyborg? between you and mud is sludge remember he dimension door okay so he positioned himself between you and mud and then on the other side of mud is kyborg

Okay. Could I run and jump? Use my ring of jump to jump over Sludge and Mud? What? Think around what he wants to do. Oh, you want to run as you have the ring of jump. Okay. Sludge is huge. Sure. Why not? We'll allow it. Yeah. Let's go for it. Okay. I want to do that. Run and jump. This is the Air Bud scores the game point moment. It's like Free Willy. Sludge is going...

While I'm in the air over mud, I want to drop mud stuff. Isn't that cool, Mud? He's turning into Santa Claus. I brought presents for all the good girls and boys. Absolutely. Mud, watch out. It's raining. So much of my stuff is heavy. I was going to say, Mud, actually make a dexterity saving throw. It's like the Sailor Moon suit-up scene. Just dropping gumbo on me. Oh, God, they

They've locked up Gumbo. I don't know. I don't know where Gumbo is. Remember you kept him at the Infinite HQ. Did I? Did you? Oh, yeah. That's right. You brought Gumbo? Gumbo's with me. Yeah.

Nat 20, 20. Okay. Yeah. Heavy objects start falling on you out of the sky. Like Spider-Man in the first movie. I catch them all. You managed to successfully catch it all as it's all raining down on you, taking no damage. Just like stuff falling and it's like landing like on my ring finger and on my neck. With a Nat 20. I mean, that's the Sailor Moon pseudo scene. You're like... Can you tell Blaine is watching Sailor Moon currently? Yeah.

I was gonna say like Iron Man and like all the stuff comes like... Yeah. And Gumbo lands on your shoulder. Yeah. Gum Gum, what else? You made your jump. You dropped all the stuff on mud. And then I guess I closed the distance to Kyborg. Okay. So you keep going down to Kyborg. I have grabby hands. And I like, I stop. And as I stop, I slide. And all the stuff slides.

So cool. He's trying to use like the momentum of his movement. Yeah. And then just lets go of everything. Make an acrobatics check. Okay. 24. It doesn't seem like it should work, but it absolutely does. Yeah. But then he has to do a dex check. I guess if you want to try to like get it all in the appropriate places, sure. Why not make a... Actually, make an acrobatics check as well. Okay. It's a one. You're lucky.

july's lucky yeah i'm gonna use the lucky for that all right re-roll that yeah 13. uh yeah it's not quite as graceful a few of your objects hit you uh and clad into the ground you don't take any damage and you know it's not falling from above on you but uh it's a blow to kyborg zygo though because it doesn't look as cool as mine not nearly as cool your items are at your feet around you in a pile sweet uh what else gum gum okay so who's near me now you're pretty close to kyborg

And then just to the north of you is mud, and then just north beyond that is sludge. There's also a bunch of these amusements around us. The shrimp lady and... Soos. Soos. How far, like, what's their proximity to each other? Well, the shrimp lady is Soos.

Sorry, shrimp lady and sludge. Oh, gotcha. All the S names. They're at a diagonal from each other. They're about like walking or as the crow flies. This is the third time we've talked about crows. Crow flies. What is this saying? It's like straight. It's a straight line. Because like he's saying there's pedestals and stairs you gotta go up, but you could just fly. That's what the reference is. Oh, okay.

i've heard it before i've never really like for example driving from austin to corpus is one distance straight as the crow flies but when you drive you have to go to san antonio and then turn like it's longer going that way the way you actually okay i was that chris pratt meme this whole time of like i'm too afraid to ask like this yeah could i get in the position where i'm within 60 feet of both sludge and

Seuss. Without my friends being in that kind of like 60 foot. You could, but you would have to go back to that starting position you were at before you made the jump. Okay. Well, what about just sludge? I mean, you're within 60 feet of sludge right now. Can I position where I get any amnusiax as well? Amnusiax. I love that. Amnusiax. No, because the one that would have been there is already dead. Okay. What are you going to do? I'm going to... Oh.

- I forgot to check how much stuff I have. - How much stuff does he have? - Let's play. - Let's play. - Dang, I don't have enough. - Okay, well first I'm gonna throw my, last time I used my thunder javelin of lightning, has it been a day? It's empty, I can do it. I'm gonna throw my javelin at sludge. - It's been a while since you used that. - I'm throwing my javelin of lightning at sludge and the lady.

So you hurl it and speak its command word. It transforms into a bolt of lightning forming a line five feet wide that extends from you to the target within 120 feet. Okay, so you basically want to line it up so that there's a straight line between you, Sludge, and Soos within 120 feet. Yeah, you could do that. You have to angle around, you know, Mud and Kyborg a little bit to fine tune it, but you should be able to do that. They both need to make DC 13 saving throws, it looks like. DC 13 dicks.

Darity saving throws. Well, and I have to see if I hit her. Oh, gotcha. I'll just roll for that. Yeah, go ahead and roll that. That's a 22. Yeah, that hits. And so she'll take 8 plus my rage bonus, which is 3. I think it went up to 3. So that's 11. She takes 11 plus whatever the lightning might be. So they make DC 13 saving throws. We'll do Zeus first.

That's two. That's a failure. And then sludge. Also a two. Also a failure. I hate you guys. Nice. Not us. We're not rolling it. I'm just in a bubble. So they all take the lightning? What happens at that? Yeah, they take 4d6 lightning damage. I'll roll that. Roll damn lightning. Cacao. Cacao. 16. 16.

So they each take 16 lightning damage and she takes 11. 11 plus the 16. Poor old lady. We're really putting her through the wringer. What did she do to you guys? Stole our stuff, invented a brother, and then took him away.

Yeah, they both seem to be in a lot of pain and moving uncontrollably from the electrical impulses coursing through their bodies. They're dancing! Sludge in particular looks even worse than he did before. Oh, this disgusting slime monster starts looking worse and worse beyond me. It seems like little bits of him fall off and then have to reform back into the main portion of his body. It's almost like he's falling apart and reforming before your eyes. I don't think I have anything else that can hit him because it's all physical. Okay, then...

For my second attack, I'm just gonna throw my regular javelin at the old lady. At Zeus? Okay. Yeah, go ahead and make that attack roll. I'll throw a reckless leap. Watch out. I'm glad I did because I rolled a two. So that's a 21. That hits. And I'm rolling damage. So that's nine damage. Oh.

Every time I see the word javelin, I think of Javier because they're like so close and solving. I thought I was crazy. I did the same thing. What's Javier doing here? Javlin's very similar to Javelina. Yeah, like a pig or a wild pig. Yeah, your javelin hits Zeus and is like sticking out of her. That's two. Yeah, the other one also transfers back into a regular javelin as well once it connects. Yeah, so yeah, she's got two javelins in her.

Gunshot wound. All right. Oh, yeah. She got a nasty big bruise from that. That's my turn. All right. So then Kyborg delayed his action. So now it's Kyborg's turn. All right. A couple of quick things. One, I have that cloak that...

I think we talked about it. I got it upgraded by embezzler, but it can like send a projection of me, correct? That's something we talked about. Cloak of many fashions. Cloak of many fashions. You can project an illusion that makes you appear to be standing in a place near your actual location, causing any creature to have disadvantage from attack rolls against you.

If you take damage, the property ceases to function until the turn is... Start of the next turn. If I use that, could I get out of an attack of opportunity? Because I'm trying to get away from these, like, booger monsters. So, I don't know that it would necessarily get you out of them, but it would give them disadvantage on their... That's the whole point. Like, it gives them disadvantage on any attacks against you. So, it wouldn't nullify it, but it would help. Is this a bonus action? Yeah. Yeah? Okay. Yeah.

I'm going to use that then. I'm going to use the Cloak of Manifolds, Facsimile Fashion. Yeah. And then I want to move towards Gum Gum because I have something in mind. Well, let's go ahead and take care of the attacks of opportunities in that case. The first one will attack at disadvantage. And you have plus one to your AC. Plus I got my armor back. So that is a 12 plus...

That's a 17. So I have an armor class of 16, but I'm also having what? Plus one. Plus one. So it's 17. So it hits. Yeah. So it would hit. Okay. So you try to dodge out of there, but one of the amnusias lashes out and actually does manage to hit you. Okay. Blame on. Doing 13 points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. And go ahead and make a strength saving throw. Things are finally going my way. 26. 26.

How was that moment, Gus? Well, the other one attacked too. AC... 12. No, because you got hit and that ends the effect. You guys realize we're going to have to figure out how to make slime puppets.

it's now jello like those little jello pudding cups like a lime one 12. so the second one misses so you no longer have your cloak of manifolds effect but you have moved out of range cool all right so i meet up with a gum gum and then i want to line up sludge and seuss and then i want to use the oh the thing that doesn't

Keeps going? Yeah. Piercing arrow creates a line one foot wide and 30 foot long, and each creature in that line must make a dex saving throw. DC 11 on failure. A creature takes damage from the arrow. Plus 26 extra damage. I guess I should ask the Seuss within 30 feet of Sludge. Let me look. I don't think so, but let me double check. BFF, Seuss, and Sludge. Yeah. Sweet. Sure. Like right at the edge. Okay. Well, then I'm going to make that initial attack Blongo Triumph. That is a 26. And who is that...

Attack on. Is it on Sludge? Because the closer target or the further target? It'll be on Sludge because he's in the way. So he's like a barrier. And then it's going to go through. I'm going to roll that damage. Also, that's a nine. I recognize that he is like a Sludge monster and like physical damage and stuff. But someone on Twitter pointed out that I have magical arrows. You are correct. All of your arrows that you fire are imbued with a magical, the magical effect.

Twitter has done something useful. It is still piercing damage. It's just a magical arrow, correct? Yeah. Gotcha. I don't know. I'm just talking about on that one. I don't think these things take piercing damage as we've learned previously. But maybe magic. But maybe magic.

Okay, so you hit Sludge and do 9 points of damage to Sludge? Yes. Okay, and? Yes and? Yes and, and then I activate the Seeking Arrow. Sorry, Piercing Arrow, which again creates a 1 foot wide and 30 foot long, creates a line 1 foot long and 30 foot wide. I blew that in the pond because I want to do the electric fishing. So they have to roll a deck saving throw. Both of them? Yes. Okay, this first one is Sludge. Is that the 3?

This next one is Seuss, also a three. What the hell? Yeah, I need some real dice here. Someone's hacking. No, it's the D&D gods looking down upon us. It says on failure, a creature takes damage from the arrow plus 1d6 extra piercing damage. So do you think that Seuss takes that nine? Yeah. Okay. And then I'm going to roll an additional 1d6.

That is a six. Boom! 15 points. - Now, Sludge begins howling in a mixture of anger and pain. Sludge slumps to the ground, his oozy form starting to shrivel and turn pale. - The future is already written in mortars, and this isn't the end.

A portal opens up beneath Sludge and he sinks into it as it closes around him. No! Uh, Soos runs and dives for the portal but fails to reach it in time. As she dives, her staff hits the ground and the yellow gemstone on top breaks off, clattering to the ground. She also gets hit with that arrow. Go grab the gemstone! You hear a gasp from the southern end of the room and you see Lady Sandra waving mud over. Is your mouth? Thank you.

Uh, isn't that where the, uh, amnesia was? But more towards, like, the little alcove where y'all kind of entered from. Guys, I don't want to break up this, like, really sincere, nice moment. I have an extra attack that I want to use on Zeus. I'm so sorry. Can I use my bursting arrow or... Yes. Yes. Okay. While Lady Sandra's waving towards her son to come over to... Bursting arrow! Like the music, it's all...

I just like that in an episode where I don't think I'm being hyperbolic. I made a bubble in two hours. And finally, something might happen where I get to interact with something and Kybrick's like, no! Like, I feel like rock guitars come over the moment. Bursting arrow hits AC 23. Eight points of damage? Yeah, plus...

2d6 so that's a six and a six we also make sure right before this happens we get whoever is voicing soos elise willems to say i've seen the error of my ways no and then kyro goes the arrow of your ways the arrow uh so 20 points of damage soos is rolling around on the ground screaming

Go back into the hole. Get in the hole! Okay, cat works. Lady Sandra stops waving mud over and is staring at the carnage mouth agape and then kind of like shakes her head, snaps back to it and begins waving at mud to come over once again. Go ahead, Lady Sandra. I'm sorry. I'm done. What do you think of my friends? Bart's still naked. He is. But he is. You're also...

Tree-ish. You've also got your barky skin. Yep. There's just one very strategically placed branch. And some twigs. I assume you approach mud? No, I go over and beat up on Doctor. You just kick it around while she's there. Hold on, Mom. No, I go over to Mom. Lady Sandra's on the ground holding Lord Lomish in her arms, and he's beginning to stir. Oh...

"W-where am I?" "Oh, my Dia! You're finally awake! Don't worry, sweetheart, you're safe." "Sweetheart? Safe?" Lady Sandra turns to Mud. "His memories? Are we too late?" She holds up Lord Lomush's head and leans him towards Mud. "Look over here, sweetheart. See that fear bulb? You remember him, right? It's been a while, but you've been waiting to see him for so long."

His name is Mud. He knows the song. His name is Mud. Find out what happens in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Maybe Kyborg will do some more murdering. Action change. Action change. But yeah, thanks for listening, everybody. This was a lot of fun. Sure. Sure. It was. I had a great time in this episode. Hey, sometimes you have cows everywhere and bugs and...

And 40 birds. Yeah. Not this episode. This is my arc's boss fight. I didn't do anything. I dropped some weapons on you. You did. You caught him real cool. I put on clothes really well. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. You'll be back. Well, we'll be back next week. And you.