C01 - Ep. 68 - Betwixt The Bramblecracks - Ignorance is Amphibellis
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Ryan Reynolds here for, I guess, my 100th Mint commercial. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, honestly, when I started this, I thought I'd only have to do like four of these. I mean, it's unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month. How are there still people paying two or three times that much? I'm sorry, I shouldn't be victim blaming here. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash save whenever you're ready. For

This is a Rooster Teeth production.

Everybody, one, two, three. Salutations to all you shriekers. Flourish your fungus cells inside the stinky dragon. Sip on our latest libation. Holy shitake mushrooms. It's a mixture of motionless margarita mix, mildew mezcal topped with a smidge of underdark salt on the rim. One mouthful of this moldy moonshine, you'll be hollering everyone how psycho-delectable it is.

Previously, our adventurers made their way through the Shrine of Algaroc in search of an emerald stone. They were scrutinized by stone golem guardians, baffled by an oblatory brazier. Not even. Baffled by an oblatory brazier. F***ing hell.

I'm the one who's baffled by it right now. Baffled by an obituary brazier, met with a marred mirror that manifested a mimic of mud and played peacemaker with a few pugnacious people. They finally found their way back to Morbane and have encountered someone they weren't expecting. Latch onto a libation, let's fall back into our favorite foul folktale.

I actually depend on those recaps to catch me up. I don't know half of those words. I don't know what's going on this episode. We were doing... Those are $2 words. We were doing the D&D version of Legends from the Hidden Temple. That's, I think, basically what our last episode was. It also has been two weeks since our last recording because we had people out. You made a little temple run. Yeah. You went through the dungeon. You had to go through the fire. You had to

put something you cared about in the fire. The person mimicked you and then we... Then you went through the waiting room. Yeah, we didn't have a good fight because I broke the puzzle instead of just fighting it. It's also so confusing because we've also been putting out some new videos where we do little puppet shows for clips from Stinky Dragon. And so my mind's been in those individual clips and in those moments because it's like we listen to them over and over again. I'm like, oh, what's going on now? Yeah.

My mind's been in the poll that was put on the subreddit where everybody voted on which character they connect with most in MUD1. So that's for a reminder. Wait, really? Was that a thing? Yeah, it was. Okay, what percentage did the rest of us get? There was like a close second that I think might have been Kyborg. It's because I'm so handsome and charming and confident. Unaccessible. As far as like... Bart is just a... What's the word? He's just above, way above standard. Yeah. To be honest, like I don't want people to relate.

I think people voted for it a lot though. It seemed cause, uh, I think the poll was like going on during your arc part is unattainable. I'm glad that we, we put it in a way that it's like, which one do you relate to the most? Which one's not your, not your favorite character. Cause then that's when we're going to be throwing metal hands. Uh,

But yeah. Well, you have a metal hand. That's not fair. That was the joke. Chris relates to GumGum. Yeah. No, but I agree. You need to be following Stinky on social because we're posting video content. Yeah, we have a bunch of puppets.

coming. We put our hearts and souls into that stuff. It came out so good. It is so much fun. Please make it blow up because we love doing it. And also the soundtrack. Yep. First episode we've gotten to actually officially say the soundtrack for Arc One is out. Micah poured his heart and soul into it. He loves doing it. Eight tracks.

Eight tracks, including our theme song and the titular song. His name is Mud. I don't have an eight track player. I only got cassette and CD. It's coming out on eight track. I found the poll. Oh. Sorry, I was a little quiet there because it took me a while to find it. I was actually just looking for it, but.

But please mud came in first anyone want to guess who was number two Which character do you most identify with identify with I say gum gum would be second I think I saw this poll so I don't want my answer, but I was a gum gum I don't remember what it was. I thought to his keyboard Bart's flirtatious. Maybe maybe board second. Can I say yeah? It's Gus number two Number three is kyborg number four is gum gum number five is gumbo

And number six is Bart. Yeah, that's right. I'm the Holy grail, baby. No one relates to me. That's so funny. It's a little too, a little too suave. Exactly. Yeah. I think, I think actually genuinely, I think it is probably like the sheer confidence of Bart. No one's like, yeah, yeah, I got that. I got that. No one is that confident. Come on. The anxious dad over there who likes animals. Yeah. I identify with him. Yeah. That's who I identify. The one whose power is literally summoning emotional support animals. Yeah.

I relate to that guy. The one always drinking coffee? Yeah. That's my speed. There really has to come a point where I just have to push all the buttons on my spells and just see how many animals. Oops, all animals. So what were we doing last time? We bought a zoo. We were telling people to go... Just a reminder one more time. StinkyDragonPod, Instagram, TikTok...

Twitter, Spotify, Apple Music, Spotify, Prime Music. Check out my SoundCloud. Stinky Dragon Podcast on the subreddit. Yeah. But yes, we had just an audience with like the king or something. Yeah, why don't you give the recap? Well, yeah, there were people waiting in line to see royalty of the earth gods. It's like that Beetlejuice waiting room. And then you gave a baby or something like made it not cry, Bart. And then...

Genuinely? Are you talking about when I held the kids so that the woman would get up and then there would be a piece of sheet music? That was in the temple. Okay. And then could not tell where you were in the story. Then a little Junebug shrimp type person came out. Oh, another.

another one of the, uh, uh, Kajujus. Yeah. Which was, that's who he was referencing. Tell you their name. People Kajujus. And we thought, we thought that, uh, uh, the one at least place was the last one. The Dr. Seuss, Dr. Seuss, but we just found professor Seuss. Who was it? Sludge? No. What did we just find? Was it sludge?

No. Algaroc. Algaroc. That's what I thought. In the twinkling of an eye, you arrive back inside the cove behind the waterfall. The emerald monolith stands tall before you in a pool of water. An enormous shimmering silhouette takes shape inside the massive crystal, but slowly the whole monolith begins to shrink in size. Smaller and smaller and even smaller until it's a bit shorter than Bart.

The mini emerald monolith cracks and crumbles into the water below. The rippling waves settle and all that's left in the pool is a petite person. Uh, looks like a male, wrinkly, shrimpy kajuju? Oh! Another one? Um, Algaroc.

I've been expecting you, Mud. Is he dying? Sounds nice. I don't have much time. Oh, he's dying. My spirit is fading from this plane of existence. That is all in character. That is all in character. It was foreseen that you would come here, Mud.

that you and your friends would become... Well, I'm getting ahead of myself. You should. You don't have much time. You can't. Please. The first thing you should know... And then he dies. ...is that my kind, the Kajuju, were a magical and trustworthy people that worshipped Dia... Okay. ...during the days when she roamed Faiza among us. You're making me laugh. I was like, let's let Gus get through his speech. You're killing me. You're killing Al Jarrell.

Kyborg, god killer. Sorry, I'm gonna go take a lap. But during the Great Fracture of Faiza, when the world was split into separate lands and the Diagems were scattered far and wide, the world was thrust into chaos once more. Many spent their lives searching for the Diagems, but only to gain power and domination. The Cajuju, along with the other devoted Diareans,

recognized that the Diagems needed to remain hidden. The world wasn't ready for them. We formed a secret society known as the Paladians, protectors of the Diagems, and those that believe Daya will return to set the world right again. Among the Paladians were the Kajuju, Borgians, Shires, Panses, Soras, and the Tabulians. I'm not sure who it was, but someone betrayed the Paladians.

revealing the locations of the Diagems. Many in the Society have died protecting this information, my people among them. And so we've had to pass this mantle of secret on to friends, like the Borgians did with those in Everwinter. And now...

It's your turn. Aljaroc closes his eyes and a shimmering, tear-shaped emerald appears where his heart would be. I grab, I grab. Mud of the Bramble Cracks. I can no longer protect this virtue, Diogen. Do you accept this burden? Will you and your friends become Paladians? I give a thumbs up. Are we allowed to be Paladians and Infinites at the same time? We're also kind of Borgians. Was there a non-compete? Yeah, was there a non-compete? I don't want to be a Paladine. What?

Should we ask what entails being a paladin? I grab the gem. Oh, Dia bless you. Dia bless all of you. Please keep the Dia gem safe and let no one know that you are a paladin. It's still unclear who betrayed us. Squadron. I'm afraid my time is at an end. Thank you, young ones. And may Dia...

Be with you. Aljorock's spirit fades before you like a green mist, and you hear a small splash. Floating on the surface of the pool is the glistening emerald diadem. Now I grab it. Yeah, you go. As you hold it in your hand, Mud, you notice that the bramble symbol on your signet ring opens, revealing a tear-shaped cavity inside. Convenient. You're just like me. Because I got one in my arm. Well, I put it in my little ring. Yeah, we're buddies now. I'm a green lantern. Hey, I'm red. Hey.

Am I red? I thought yours was orange. I'm... Red. Red. It's your red lantern. With our powers combined, we are... Christmas. I smack my ring into Kyberg's arm. Well, lucky for you, the gemstone fits like a glove inside the ring. You close your eyes and feel a wave of freshness wash over your body like a waterfall. When you reopen your eyes, you feel different. It's like you have a sixth sense about things. Hmm.

Chewing five gum. You can actually go ahead and equip and attune that on your D&D Beyond, John. You have the Virtue Dia Gem Emerald. I'm actually gonna add it. From a metagame perspective, you'll see this in there, but just to explain it to everyone, your Wisdom ability score increases by two and you gain advantage with Wisdom ability checks and saving throws. And you also gain a new ability called Grain of Truth. Anytime you make an insight check, you can add a 1d6 to your roll. Oh, yeah.

Is that like forever going forward? As long as he has the die gem with him. I kind of like mine, so I'm assuming you guys. Hey, hold on tight. Someday you'll get a die gem. It's going to give you cool things. I'm going to throw my drink at you. Barbara's wanting to throttle me this entire episode. I am maxed out on wisdom. Nice. Of course you are. It's like a humble brag. Mud! Mud! Gus? You hear a voice shouting from outside the waterfall. Mud, where are you?

Not in here! It sounds familiar, it's the voice of Clay That's my brother Yeah, I exit the waterfall cove thing

Oh my, thank goodness I found you. Our father's condition seems to be worsening. Don't worry, I've got a ring. Were you able to find the Emerald Stone of Aldra? I don't... He was there in the room when you were told by Shaman Soos that you needed to find the scroll and the Emerald Stone. This isn't someone who just looks like him, but

I can't answer that, but I can say Clay was in the room when that was discussed. Could I just quickly use my Ring of Truth-telling to just make sure that this is Clay? Sure, yeah. That allows you to do an insight check with advantage. I probably won't need it, though. Maybe I will. 16 and a 17. Yeah, you believe that this person is speaking truthfully. Okay.

This person is speaking truth to me. But all they said was like they didn't declare themselves as anything. Could I specify that I asked, are you Clay? Sure.

Yes, of course I'm Clay. I'm Mudd's brother. What's something only Clay would know? Yeah, Mudd. I don't know. I think Mudd's having memory problems, so I don't think I'm even the one to be trusting for Mudd's history. Hey, Clay, when we arrived to... What's his name? The Bayou. The Bayou. What happened? The Bayou. Yeah. I don't have a stutter. You do. My memory is kind of hazy about that moment. Oh, he did the... He had the thingy. We got here...

And then we were in that spire. He got that goop. What were they called? Amnesiacs or something? Amnesia. That's really convenient, Clay. Hey, Clay, the last time you saw me, what did I do? I don't think Gus knows that. Gus, myself, the DM does not remember. I jumped out the window. Oh, yeah. You jumped out the window and reappeared in the room.

and ran down the stairs. Okay, alright. No, no. That's actually like an accurate conversation between Gum-Gum and Clay where he'd be like, I don't remember. He's like, I jumped out the window. He's like, oh yeah, you jumped out the window. This is Clay. Okay, this checks out. I think this is Clay. Hey, Clay. Yes, we have, we got the emerald. It fit ever so nicely in my little jewelry. So, I'm hoping this is good for Father's health. Yeah.

No.

That's very nice of you, but we've got a bad track record of people taking these things from us. So what if we... What was the scroll for? Shaman Su said in order to make the cure for Lord Lomish, she needed the stone and the scroll both to make the magic that would cure Lord Lomish. Since we have to have the scroll anyways before the emerald is of any use, we're going to go ahead and take it because it's giving me all the good feelings. Hmm.

Then you'll be heading right to Crokemeyer to search for the scroll? I was just about to say we were going to be heading to Crokemeyer because I totally remember. To Crokemeyer. To Crokemeyer we go. That's what he was going to say. That's what I was going to say. Thank you, Gum Gum. I appreciate your support. We're going to get one of those famous sandwiches from Crokemeyer.

It does sound like a grocery store name. Croque Monsieur. Croque Monsieur. Croque Monsieur. Croque Monsieur. Don't forget, once you're done in Crokemire, meet us back in Bramble Castle. We will be at the highest spire of the tallest tower. And once you are back, we will concoct a bomb that will heal father. The bomb. The whoa. Bomb. Bomb. B-A-L-M-O. The bomb of the briary, correct? Look at you. Yeah. It is the bomb of briary. Yeah.

Listen, if we had an argument about arrows that could heal you, it stands to tell that a bomb should also have healing abilities in our fantasy world. Okay. If you need anything else, let us know, and we'll be back at Bramble Castle. He starts wandering off back. Hey, which direction is Crokemeyer? It's down to the south. And do you have anything that we could use to convince people to give us a scroll? Like, because you're Prince? It's its own region. Uh-huh.

Remember, the Croke-Myrn clan worship amphibolus down there. Amphibolus. Is that a single person or a type of people? I said gods. Single. Deity. You know what the amphibolus is deal? Does he like frogs? Aren't they turtle-like? You should find out on your own down there. They are a very water-loving people. Right. Are there any... That makes sense with amphibolus. Snakes. Snakes? Snakes?

I don't think so. Okay. We already had the snake. Oh, tabooians, right. In fact, I saw you all talking to someone while we were all on the Bramble boat. Yes. I see your memory has returned. Oh. I remember that. Everything after the boat is a little muddy. All right. Let's use the... What's the thing we use to travel? The Hammobile. The Hammobile.

Do you whisper it? Why do you whisper it this time? I go right up to Mudd's ear and I go, Cowabunga, dude. And it makes Mudd's ear tickle. He doesn't like it. He smacks his ear. We should do a Stinky Dragon ASMR. Nope. If you don't want, you could, I mean, you're more than welcome to take me to Hemmobile. You can also journey on foot. It's actually not terribly far. Woohoo!

Cardio in yeah, I think we could stretch our legs a little bit. We don't do enough walking in this game Yeah, I mean in this adventure I uh I get gumbo out of my bag and put a little leash on him so he gets some some steps as well. You gotta get your 10,000 steps in. Yeah, that's adorable. Gum gum packs up Bart's uh backpack in case he gets- Oh, I thought you were gonna say he packs up Bart. Yeah, I mean like guys you gotta get your steps in. You wanna hop on. Could I be one of those little baby carriers where it's like my arms and legs are hanging out of it? Yeah. Oh, yeah

That's what it is, isn't it? Yeah, because we used it on one of the first couple episodes. Baby Bjorns? Is that what they're called? I thought they were Papooses. Ah, yes, yes, yes. It's the thing on the front where you're like... Just so I know, what's your marching order? Mud and Gumbo in the front. And then we'll be in the middle. Kyborg in the back. Yeah, are you attached? Yeah, I'm attached to Gum-Gum. Okay.

Uh, y'all head south toward Crokemeyer as the crescent moon glows between tall willow trees and wispy clouds. Everyone go ahead and make a perception check. Seven. Twelve. Twenty-four.

Uh, nine. That's my dark vision. I'm throwing a 14 for you, bud. You're right. 14. Did you do the math wrong? I saw plus nine. That's what I thought I saw. Okay, so, Gum Gum, as you're traveling, you lean over a pool of water to marvel at your reflection when a bubble of swamp gas bursts into your face. Make a constitution saving throw. Do I have to as well? We'll say you were so low, like, you didn't get your face over the water like you did. Ugh.

Ooh, yeah, that bubble of swamp gas bursts right into your face and you take five points of poison damage. Swamp's farting on gum gum again.

Bart and Mud, y'all are traveling for a little bit. You notice the transition in scenery. The tree line seems to be thinning out, the river widens more and more, and the water line looks like it's brimming with large lily pads and reeds. Kyborg, with your elven eyes, and elven nose, the air smells quite fishy. You notice the river leading to a lagoon up ahead, glowing with fireflies, and in the distance, you hear what sounds like splashing and music.

I jump ahead of the group, I put up my fist, I raise my fist, and I go, something's off. There's celebration up ahead. Please tell me you've seen the latest Stinky Dragon Puppet video on TikTok.

Well, I'm waiting. I mean, did you? Well, if not, you're missing out. Go follow us at StinkyDragonPod on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. Join us on the StinkyDragon subreddit where folks offer theories about the show, post fun D&D magical item ideas, and other fun surprises. Or if you enjoy music from the show, check out our first album on Spotify. And if that is not enough, fans are building a wiki page about the show right now over at StinkyDragon.Fandom.com.

Get caught up on the lore of the show or help contribute to building the story thus far. Plus, if you tag us on social media using hashtag StinkyDragonPod or post a comment on the subreddit or the Rooster Teeth website, then an NPC could be named after you. In fact, here's a recent NPC that was named after folks from social media. Longor the Hill Giant, named after at Nico underscore Longoria. And of course, we want to give a special thanks to some friends who provide VO for characters in the previous episode, like

Al Jaraq, who's voiced by Andy Cortez from bonermonger.com and Mysterious Voice, who's voiced by BK at Black Crystal. Wanna hear my biggest flex? What's that? It's another sale on Shopify, the all-in-one commerce platform to start, run, and grow your business. Shopify makes it simple to sell to anyone from anywhere. So whether your thing is vintage teas or recipes for ghee, start selling with Shopify and join the platform, simplifying commerce for millions of your favorite businesses worldwide.

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From New Line Cinema, Dwayne Johnson stars in the action-adventure Black Adam, the first ever feature film to explore the story of the DC superhero comes to the big screen under the direction of Jaume Collette Serra, who you may know from Jungle Cruise. In ancient Kandak, Teth Adam was bestowed the almighty powers of the gods. After using these powers for vengeance, he was imprisoned, becoming Black Adam. Nearly 5,000 years have passed and Black Adam has gone from man to myth to legend. Now released, his unique form of justice, born out of rage, is challenged by modern day heroes who formed the Justice Society.

Hawkman, Dr. Fate, Atom Smasher, and Cyclone. Johnson stars alongside Aldous Hodge as Hawkman, Noah Centineo as Atom Smasher, Sarah Shahi, Marwan Kenzari, Quintessa Swindell as Cyclone, Moe Amare, Modi Sabangui, and Pierce Brosnan as Dr. Fate. Colette Serra directed from a screenplay written by Adam Stekiel, Rory Haynes, and Saurabh Noshivani.

Based on characters from DC, created by Bill Parker and CeCe Beck, the film's producers are Bo Flynn, Hiram Garcia, Dwayne Johnson, and Danny Garcia, with Toby Emmerich, Richard Brenner, Dave Neustadler, Chris Pan, Walter Hamada, Adam Schlagman, Jeff Johns, Eric McLeod, and Scott Sheldon, executive producing. The director's behind-the-scenes creative team includes Oscar-nominated director of photography, Lawrence Scher, production designer Tom Mayer, editors

Mike Sale and John Lee, costume designers Kurt and Bart, Oscar-winning visual effects supervisor Bill Westenhofer, and composer Lorne Balfe. New Line Cinema presents a $7 Flynn Company production, a Jomé Collette-Serra film, Black Adam, smashing into theaters and IMAX internationally beginning on October 19th in North America on October 21st, 2022. It'll be distributed worldwide by Warner Bros. Pictures. You can watch Black Adam in theaters and IMAX internationally October 19th and in North America October 21st.

This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

And then I barrel roll into some bushes and I give them a commando. Go, go, go, go. It's just a party. He starts waking up and he's getting fussy. One day you're going to learn the word somersault. I can't wait for it, but it's going to happen one day. Somersault? What did you say? You barrel rolled into some bushes. Isn't barrel rolled on your side? It sure is. A somersault into some bushes. There you go.

And Mudd yells out, What'd you say? There's a party! I hear music and celebrations! Ba-ba. Ba-ba.

Bart needs milky milky! He's doing the hands again! Gross. Uh, Mud proceeds forward. Okay. You come upon what seems to be a small town built on the surfaces of large lily pads floating in a lagoon. Oh, cool. You see various buildings scattered about in this town and various humanoids walking around going from building to building. I approach one of them

and asks, hello, what's going on here today? Seems like there might be some celebrating happening. Right when you walk in, or right when you approach the town, there's a little booth set up. It's a small booth made of thatched reeds floating atop a large lily pad. And there's a sign actually here that says, welcome to Crokemeyer Lagoon. And there's a frode standing out front. It says, oh, welcome, welcome. Are you here for the celebration? Here for Amphibia Feast? Absolutely. I've been waiting since the last one.

Counting down the days. Oh, great. Well, welcome. Welcome here. Hold on. He starts rummaging around in the booth. I've got these for you. And he holds out necklaces. These are croaker chokers. Okay. What do they do? Do you have different sizes? Oh,

Oh, yeah, we've got some for your size. Thank you. That'll fit you. They're just traditional necklaces worn for Amphibafeast. Amphibafeast. Oh, these are like badges. This will get us into the VIP parties and stuff. These are convention badges. Is it like a lanyard? It's just like a necklace woven out of lily pads. It's like when they put ladies on you. Yeah, very similar. Hello.

Cool. I'm Vat. Welcome. I'm happy to give these to you and to welcome you to Croke Mire Lagoon. Didn't we meet you already on the ship? We did, in fact. Gum, gum, gum. If you would remember. Yeah, I would never forget you, Vat. I've been doing some traveling. You know, you met me here at the last leg of my journey. Yeah, we were all on the boat together. Very good, Gum Gum. I remember my friends. That's creepy. Do you have any croaker bracelets maybe instead that would fit my neck a little better?

So the croaker chokers. Yeah, yeah, hold on. They have, you know, croaker chokers in various sizes. And, you know, he rummages around and finds one that's size appropriate for Mark. No, what he does is what I have to do to my kid with a tiny head and face mask. And that is just tie off the end of the straps a little bit so they can fit your little body. Yep. That's wonderful. Remind me, what's the.

point of Amphibafest, Croakerfest. What is this called? Is this like a music thing? Is this like a food thing? Amphibafeast. Amphibafeast. Are you celebrating your deity named Amphibolus? That's correct. Amphibafeast is a celebration of Amphibolus.

There's plenty of delicious food. If you want, one of the traditions for Amphibia Feast is to go partake in some firefly fishing. A long time tradition of Amphibia Feast. Great time for all. Or you can go see, you know, various shops and talk to various people around town. We can visit all the crawdaddies and crawmamas. Do you happen to have...

I'm just walking right past that. Do you happen to also have like a library or an archive somewhere that we might be able to research some stuff about your people? Hmm. A library or... Or an archive, you know, places where you might have scrolls of importance. Possibly over at the Pantheon. That's the points behind him. Like that's over here in the center of the lagoon. That's great.

Pantheon. That's great. Padtheon. Padtheon. That's great. Is that open to the public? Yeah, you're more than welcome to take a look in there. As far as I know, there are some records and some old incantations kept in there, but I believe those are kept secret.

Okay. Well, yeah, I think we might try out some of the festivities. Don't forget, of course, you can stop by Torthor's Temple Trinkets. I think you met Torthor on the boat, too. Actually, he looks at you, Gum-Gum. Yeah, Torthor. And also Sneko's Sinkers and Floaters. Is that supplies for fly fishing? Firefly fishing? You got it. It's the lavatory. Wow.

Gross. Gross. I want to go firefly fishing. Let's go firefly fishing. I want to kill some time. And fireflies. Maybe we'll procure some things that we need and learn about people in the town as we're walking around. Yeah. Do we want to split and go to the different places? Let's stay together. Together.

Mud just hugs everyone together. Just grab Gum Gum. Well, if you want to go check out Sneko's Sinkers and Floaters, that's just to the left over here, to your left, my right, just off to the east right over there, and he points at the next building over. If you want to check out the Pantheon, like I said, that's right back there behind me. And if you want to check out Torthor's Temple Trinkets, that's just over there to my left, your right, just to the west. Let's go to...

The firefighter fishing. Yeah, sinkers and floaters. Let's go get our simple eyes. I somersault in. There you go. So you head over to Sneko's Sinkers and Floaters, and it's actually two buildings made of thatched reeds floating atop a large lily pad. The buildings are tethered together by thick hempen rope. The larger building has a sign on it that reads Sneko's Sinkers over the door, and the smaller building has a pair of docks with rowboats and a sign over the door that reads Sneko's Floaters.

Seems we should start with the sinkers. I go to that one. Same. There's a, an allodile there, which if y'all don't remember, it's like a crocodile gator type humanoid. A brood, a frog, and a toad allodile. Okay. All right. I'm getting, I'm picking up. They walk over and very enthusiastically greets you and starts going around hugging everybody. Welcome. Welcome. I'm Sneko. Can I help you all with any fishing equipment?

Sneko, I've come to you with a new jingle for your store, your business. Don't be a stinker. Go to Sneko's Sinkers. And Floaters. And Floaters. You see? That's written really small font underneath. Yes, yes. The Sinkers are the real seller. That'll be your commercial. We...

We're told about the joys and frivolities of firefly fishing and we'd like to participate. Is that something you might be able to help us with? Oh, absolutely. You need proper fishing equipment. If you don't have it, you'll be fined by the local authorities. Oh, no. Where do we get the proper fishing equipment? Lucky for you, I've got it right here. Of course you do. For how much gold? Uh...

So you can either buy or you can rent our equipment. We've got some basic fishing equipment, some fishing tackle, spear, a hunting trap, and over at Sneko's Floaters, we got some rowboats too. So what's like, is there like a package deal for starters? For basic fishing equipment, if you want to rent it, that's just five copper pieces.

Oh, and what's to buy it? One silver piece. You know what? I'll buy it. Ooh, gonna make a long-term hobby of this. I like it. He gives you a big hug. I will also buy it, Sneko. Oh, oh, oh, great, great, great. He comes over with some equipment, you know, shoves it in your hands and gives you a big hug while your hands are full. And I will also buy it. This is a banner day for Sneko. And I give him a big hug, pointing it to him. Oh, Sneko likes this guy. Is this just basic fishing equipment? Yes, exactly. Okay.

Is there... Don't forget, you'll need some tackle with that too, but go ahead. Yes, in order to... If, say, one of us already had the equipment needed, is that going to give us access so we don't get fined, or do we need to also get a permit? Oh, if you already have your own equipment, you're more than welcome to use that, but make sure you have appropriate equipment, otherwise you may get in trouble. So I think we might have a rowboat already.

Y'all have a robot? Why are you carrying a robot with you? Is that what we use? Gus was so ready to throw hands and be like, you idiot.

I mean, we could- let's ask Sneko. Sneko, we've got this really cool thing. It's made by Dr. Ahem. He's a top scientist guy. It turns into a boat. Oh, are you showing off to me? Oh yeah, can we do this? He did not even finish his sentence. Could we use that in your pond for firefly fishing? Yeah. Let me give it a quick inspection, make sure it's up to code here. I assume you all deploy it for him? Cowabunga! Cowabunga!

Yeah, he like gets on board and like kind of, you know, looks around, peeks, makes sure it's watertight, you know, ocean worthy or lagoon worthy. And says, yeah, yeah, this seems like this is up to snuff. Yep. This baby took us to the flats of Tabool. A lot of memories in this one. Yeah, that's right. Okay. I'd like to picture Kyborg standing there with a rowboat just like, yep, tap, tap.

It's got to go all the way to the flats like your dad on a fishing trip. I was really channeling him, yeah. Would that be enough for us to get started? Yeah, I think you're probably good with that. Do we buy tackle as well? Or does that come with our... You can get some tackle that'll make fishing a lot more convenient for you. It includes things like bobbers, steel hooks, lead sinkers, some velvet lures, some netting. You can rent it for five silver or purchase it for one gold.

I'll purchase it for one gold. I'll also purchase it. Okay, Bart. Group hug, group hug. It's on me. Oh, really? Wow. Do you guys need fishers and stinkers and... I mean, is this a thing that... Stinkers and peepers? Are those things that we need one for everyone? Anyone who's going to be fishing, yes. Okay. You need one? No? Okay, I'll buy mine. Okay. Thank you, buddy.

Thank you, bud. Big group hug. Group hug. Because we're keeping him in business, right? You too. He's giving you a hug. You're not buying anything, but I like you anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys need tips?

Not like tip for good service, like tips to fish good. Well, you've got the best equipment possible. You got it here from Sneko's Sinkers and Floaters. Metagame-wise, the fishing tackle does give you a bonus to fishing checks. You've already got everything you need to do the best you can out there. Let's go get some fireflies. Yeah, we go on the boat. Okay, Sneko says, just to give you a little bit of background, firefly fishing is our tradition of catching fish at night using fireflies as bait.

Obviously, you all have your fishing rods, your basic fishing equipment and tackle here. So just get this gear, go out and see what you can do. And these fish are just like, they're like animals. They're not like sentient people. Like this isn't your neighbor Todd or anything, right? He gives you a horrified look. It's just, why on earth would we do something...

I don't know man. I'm just making sure we have no reason not to trust these people for sure I just want to make sure like everyone's so lively here Don't forget before you go fishing You're gonna need some fireflies as you can see any points around fireflies are abundant here in croak Meijer So just catch a few fireflies and you'll be all set. You know, okay?

Let's do it. I imagine there will be some skill involved in this. You are correct. Who's trying to catch fireflies? Me. And me. Yeah, I mean, I'll try to. Can I? What would happen if I turned into a swarm of insects and chose fireflies? Then you might get fished with. We'd be eating, feeding the fishes. Smash you. I like to smash my fireflies the second I catch them. So they don't have any glow anymore? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, how do we catch fireflies? So go ahead and roll a survival check. All of us? Yeah, if you're trying to catch fireflies. Oh, man. 20. 10. 13. 24. Nice. I'll go down the order that they all came through here. Bart, a lot of the fireflies are flying a little bit out of your reach, but you still managed to grab a... Is that a short joke? To snatch one firefly out of the air. You've got one with you. Woo-hoo!

Gum Gum, you're distracted watching Bart catch fireflies, so you only manage to get one firefly as well. I like it. Kyborg, you strategize and watch the pattern of the fireflies dancing around and figure out the best way to catch them, and you manage to snatch four out of the air. I want the fireflies. And Mud, you're just so in tune with nature and things of the sort that you're able to almost effortlessly also grab four fireflies out of the air. Got him. I'm out of mud.

Firefly catchability. Something to be amazed by. I did it without looking. Incredible. Okay, so you guys are going to go out on the boat. Yeah, let's fish. Let's fish. Let's fish. I had the one firefly to my inventory. Shit.

You would not believe your eyes. You would not believe your eyes. I can't pour it off the boat. So in order to fish, of course, you're going to need to attach one firefly to your equipment as bait and then, you know, try to catch something. Of course, spending time fishing isn't about just catching fish. It's about relaxing and spending time out in nature. Is this the animal crossing level we're in right now? Yeah.

So Bart, what's your strategy? For catching a fish? Yeah. Well, you said we have to use the fireflies, right? Yeah. I guess I will put it at the end of my line. And how big is the pond we're in or the water? You're in a lagoon, so it's pretty spacious. Remember I said like the river kept widening and widening till the point where you're in this lagoon now? I'm going to see if I could see any bubbles along the surface and then aim to cast my line at that little area. Sure, go for it.

Go ahead and make a survival check. Survival 18. You also had fishing tackles, so add 1d4 to that. Don't think I'll need to. Another four, so that's 22. Ooh, that's pretty good. Yeah, you toss your line out to a bubbly area you see, and it feels like there's a giant tug on your line. Mail it in. And then he starts reeling it in. Yeah, you're fighting it. You're trying to catch it. Make a survival check.

Well, that's the ones I get to roll again. I'm lucky. 19. Ooh, that's pretty good. I like being a halfling bard. Do-da. Do-da. You know, you struggle with your rod a bit. It seems like whatever you got must be a huge fish. And you fight back and forth with it, and then you finally pull it out, and it's not a fish at all. What is it? It's a potion.

Oh, dang. I was really hoping you wouldn't say a boot, so I'm really happy that it's... You played too much Animal Crossing. Yeah. What do we got? You recognize it. It's a potion of healing. Potion of healing. All right. Adding that to my inventory. Free potion. Nice. Well, not free, but... Almost free. The lid must have not been on firmly because it was bubbling. Well, there might have been something else bubbling in the area. Mud, what's your strategy for catching fish? Mud wasn't going to be catching fish. Well, what's your plan now out on the boat?

I give my fireflies to Gum Gum. Thank you, bud. Here's four fireflies for you. Can I give them to the others? Sure. And then I give the ones that Gum Gum gave me to Bart. I am very skilled at fishing, clearly. So what's the split? I gave you four. Oh, I guess... You give four to Kyber? Well, I guess...

I keep one. He's got four. You keep one. You keep one. So there's four, four, one, and one. So that's ten total. Wait, how many? Do you have four? Yeah. So I'll get four. You guys get three each. I already used my one. So you get three. Well, now you have an extra one, and I guess. That was the most awful. I checked the door. Sorry. I checked the door. I'll keep two. Bart will have one, and then Kepa will have an extra. Okay. Five, three. Now one. Now one. I get my extra one.

I have two now. Okay. So four for Kyborg, three for Gum-Gum, two for Bart. Okay. I do a back flip.

Kyborg, what's your strategy for catching fish then? I was looking through my elf stuff and I got like Mask of the Wild. You know, I can attempt to hide and like just hide. So I think I'm just going to be very calm on the boat. He's hiding from the fish. He's hiding from the fish. And then elves also have trance, you know, where they just kind of go into like a meditative state. He's falling asleep. So I kind of tap into that and I just kind of offhandedly say comments like, it's a hell of a thing in the, about that weather.

Just things that my dad would say to me while we're fishing. These are when you're very calm on the water. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm just, I'm in the zone. If you're trying to like almost stealthily catch these fish, would you want to like hop out of the boat and like wade into the lagoon? Or are you trying to do this from the boat? I'm doing this from the boat.

I don't trust you. You're like, oh, that sounds interesting. Let's really... Let's dive into that. I'm just trying to, you know, give you all the appropriate canvas to paint your actions. Wait, can't one of us walk on water? I can. Okay, well, fun thing for you to do. No, I'm going to stay in the boat. I'm fine. I'm staying in the boat. Okay. Yeah, go ahead and make a survival check.

22. Oh yeah, you feel like you have something enormous start pulling on the line. Oh yeah. This is a big one. This is a big one. Make a survival check. Make sure you can reel it in. Don't snap your line. 19. That's pretty good. Yeah, you pull something up and oh, it's not a fish at all. It's another potion. Oh, it's another arm.

You also recognize it as a healing potion, just like the one that Bart caught. Nice. Look at you. All right, Gum Gum. Gum Gum, what's your strategy here? All right, so Gum Gum is going to grow some flowery lily pads.

Similar to the ones that are already here? Similar to the ones that's there. And then he's going to... Wait, flowery lily pads. Yeah. Are lily pads flowers? Lily pads have flowers. But are lily pads flowers? No, but it's part of the flower. Because you don't just grow like the petals. Okay. And then he'll walk out to the water. Like using your walk on water ability? Set up his hunting trap and drop it down. You're dropping a hunting trap into the pond. Yeah.

Yeah. He's going to bomb the fish out. Just an extra trap. Okay. And then he's going to stand on the lily pad and fish from there. So he's like blending into the water. So there's no movement because he's not like in a boat or rocking or anything.

Okay, so are you dropping the trap and fishing with your rod as well? Yeah. Just so I'm clear on all the action. Yeah, I dropped the trap somewhere else and then went over to the lily pad and stood there and waited. That trap is gone. No, because I'm attached to the other end. Oh, okay. We'll deal with your rod and reel first. Your attempt to try to catch fish the way everyone else has first. So go ahead and make a survival check. Okay, I'm going to bolster myself. Oh, and I forgot. You did have an additional 1d4 on that check, Tyborg. I forgot to tell you, but it wouldn't have mattered. You rolled higher.

Cool. So survival check? Yeah, survival. That's a 16 and then you said a plus what? 1d4 if you're using the fishing tackle, which you did purchase. That's a 17 and then I also have a d3. That's a 2. So 17, 18, 19. 19. Okay, yeah, you feel a huge bite on your reel. Man, you all are really catching some big ones today. Make a survival check.

Another. 17. Oh, as you're trying to reel it in, your line snaps. Oh, no. And falls into the water below. 17. Oh, no. Wow. Can I take my javelin and throw it? Yeah. Die. Or my spear. You're going to lose your spear. He's just throwing all of his inventory into this pond. Yeah, make a... Let's say, just make another survival check. Because you see, like, more or less where the movement was. That doesn't... No. No, your spear goes into the water and disappears into the murky...

the murky mud muddy water below however maybe you can check your trap i'll go check my trap what a great idea go ahead and roll a survival check it's a frog it says why why are you doing these banking and then roll me one more survival check please yeah five

I assume you're taking just the first one. You pull up your trap and it's actually got several good-sized fish in it. You got about five pounds worth of fish in that trap.

You won't put those in your backpack and forget about them and then stink up the whole party for the rest of the campaign. He can talk trash if he wants, but you're the only one who's caught fish so far, Gum Gum. Could the fish heal you like a potion can? Bart's got something there. Is it magic food? Anybody else want to keep fishing? I would like to try again. Yeah, go ahead and make a survival check. Could I give my fishing pole a pep talk? Sure.

I mean, yes, you can always talk to your equipment. There's no one saying you can't. Because then maybe it would be a performance check. Wow. I don't think we could change the kind of check, but maybe you could get some bonuses. So you said survival? Yeah. 16. Okay. Go ahead and make me an additional survival check.

Oh, man. 15. You get what you think is a solid bite, you know, not as strong as the previous cast that you had made. Mm-hmm. And on the other end of your line is a medium-sized fish. It's about four pounds. All right. You get a four-pound fish there. It's not a fish, actually. It's a rather large crab. A crab? Yeah. Using its claws, it grabbed onto your firefly bait and just refused to let go. You would not believe in your eyes. Could I use detect magic on this thing? Uh.

On the crab? Yeah. You use detect magic, and the crab does not seem to glow with any type of magic. They're just a standard old crab. Yep. It knows I'm a cancer. Kybor, you want to give fishing another shot? Yeah, absolutely. So this time I approach, and on my wand I do... Gift of the Chromatic Dragon! Chromatic Infusion! And I infuse...

lightning onto my rod and all my bait and I want to cast it out and electrocute the ponds and kill all the fish so that they float to the top and I get to catch them all. Okay. Do you have to make any rolls for your gift to the chromatic dragon? No, I just have to waste what is essentially a spell slot. That's it. Okay.

I guess go ahead and make... Roll for attack. We'll call it a survival check again, adding a plus four to it. I'm sorry, a plus d4 is what I meant. Oh, no. I rolled a lucky. No. We're fishing right now. We haven't even gotten to any sort of dungeon or combat yet.

Nine. Nine. Yeah, you use your Gift of the Chromatic Dragon and toss your, you know, your tackle, you toss your lure into the water below, and you can hear like a crackling sound spreading out over the water, and stunned fish begin floating up to the surface of the water. As you're doing that, Torethor comes walking up to you all along the dock and starts yelling, That

That's illegal! You can't do that! Uh oh, we're gonna get fined. Get over here so I can fine you! I cast Fog Cloud. I cast Fog Cloud, which creates a 20-foot radius of fog centered on us.

And it, uh... Fish in peace. Yeah. And then the Hemmobile turns into a 69 Charger and we drive off like the Mazer boys. You hear Torthor say, I know who you are! We met on the boat! I know who you are!

I'm sorry, my hand slipped. This fog is crazy. Whoa! He can't see you, he's just yelling at you now at this point. Oh, man. I want to collect as many fish as I can. Don't worry, Taurathor, I'm punishing him right now. Oh, stop. Stop punishing me now. Give me all your money so I can donate it to Amphibious. Here it is. Amphibious. Amphibulous. Make a deception check, both of you. It's perfect. It's perfect. It's airtight. Can I cast Sleep on this guy? Ha ha ha!

Hold on. Now there's no need to mock me or our local traditions. Just pay the fine. How much is the fine? 25 gold. What? I'll give you five. How long does he have to spend in jail to pay off that fine? Also a valid option.

You think you owe 25 now? Not unless I cast sleep on your... God, how much spells are we going to use? Listen, we're going to get a lot of fish. We're going to make a lot of money. We have to save our money for more fireflies. Yeah, apparently. You're on your own. I could try to cast sleep on him. Only if you want to. I don't want to blow any spell slots. I need to take the fall for this one, guys. I go up and I say, I'm sorry, Torthor. And I give him 25 gold points.

He says, well, this is going straight to the Pantheon. Where exactly in the Pantheon will this money be located? Well, I'm not telling you. And he looks at the fish that you all have caught and says, speaking of the Pantheon, if you all want, you're more than welcome to donate any fish you've caught over to the Pantheon as an offering to Amphibolus. This is an Animal Crossing episode. It is, truly. Donate it. To the museum. His name's Tom. You guys, uh,

I think Gungum and Bart had fish. Do you want to go? I had a crab. You had a crab. Yeah. Well, I mean, there's a lot of fish that came up. Can I at least grab some of them? Or did I have the chance to grab them? Yeah. I mean, while you were in the fog, you grabbed them. Okay. By the way, as you know, you're talking with Torthor, you notice he's wearing that cummerbund that he outbid you for. Oh.

I still have these boots of kicking. I'm getting a little itchy. Gum Gum, as Kyborg is dealing with Torethor, you're looking through all the fish you caught and you find a soggy piece of paper. Oh. I pick it up and...

See if it says anything? Uh, yeah. You, uh, pull it out and you start to read it and you realize it's a magical scroll. Oh. That's cool. I don't think you would be able to read it, Gum Gum. I can read Common Elvish and Orc. Yeah, you cannot read this. What's it written in? Can I perceive if I can read it?

You do not know how to read it either. Does Bart know how to read it? Bart, you can read it. You recognize it as a scroll of hold person. A scroll of hold person. Yeah. Notable that Gum Gum has it.

Okay. Does it say how it works? It's just like any spell scroll where, you know, you can read it to cast that spell. And it doesn't go against any spell slots or anything. And then after you read it, it's used up. So if I'm the only one who could read it, does that mean I'm the only one who could use it? Mud can read it as well. Oh, okay. So Mud and Bart can use it? They can both, yeah. Give it to Mud. This is his place. I found your scroll that you need to save your dad. I absolutely lost this.

I'm going to add it to my inventory right now. All right. There was Firefly Fishing, and then there was other places we could go. My friend we're talking to. Yes? Yes. We go see Tortor, the simple trick. That's who we've been talking to, hasn't it? No. Yeah. He's here. You're talking to him, but he also has a shop. Oh, yeah. We should go check out his shop. Yeah. We head that way. And spend more money on him.

and not break any sort of rules. - Yeah, Taurus Horse says, "It's right over there. I'll be right there." - Okay. - It looks like he's like tying up some lines and, you know, pulling in some fishing lines that are out there. - We promise not to steal anything from your shop. - When I'm walking by him, can I try to steal my 25 bag?

Yeah, make a sleight of hand check. Not making things worse. No, it's fine. I'll get it back. 16. Yeah, you're able to rummage around in his pocket and successfully pull your money out. He's like bent over, pulling up a line in his pocket, like opens up a little bit, and you're able to reach in there and grab your money. Sucker. As I say, write down for Kyborg, eef.

All right. That's me. Committed a crime. Yeah. What the stupidest crime? So I electrocuted some fish. The building that Torthor pointed to, it's like a mud brick building. So y'all walk over to it? Yeah. Yeah, it smells like incense and floating atop a large lily pad. And there's a sign over the door that reads Torthor's Temple Trinkets.

Is it, like, open? Yeah, there's no door. So we can go in? Let's go in. Yeah, you all walk in. Kyborg, make a perception check. Perception. 20. You walk in the door, and right as you're walking through, like, the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. And right as that happens, Torthor appears, boof, like, magically behind you and just yells, boo! Duh! Duh! I love my longbow triumph now! He's got you! Ha ha ha!

Oh, boy. This cummerbund's great. Shoot. Was it one time used or have you used it before? It was worth it. I like the idea that he just finger guns at you, too. He says, well, welcome to Torthor's Temple Trinkets. I got all kinds of supplies you might need here. All of our merchandise is waterproof.

I've got various things you may need if you ever want to go exploring underwater. He points at a few different pieces of equipment that he's got. I've got a cap of water breathing, a ring of swimming, a mariner's armor. Mariner's armor? What's that? Well, metagame-wise, it gives you a swimming speed equal to your walking speed. He would say something like...

It lets you move through the water as easily as you move through on land. And that doesn't replace like leather armor or anything like that, right? No, no. We'd say this is like, it's not actual armor. It'd be like a, like an undershirt kind of. Okay. How does that cost? You can either buy it or rent it. If you're going to do any underwater exploration, you can rent it for 100 gold or purchase it for 500 gold.

Purchase it for 500 gold? You got it. That's how you're able to avoid all the big items, like my cummerbund. I'm a big spender at the auction, you know? And there's a ring of swimming? Yeah, it lets you swim super fast through water. Didn't someone get one of those? I have a ring of walking on water. Right.

Yeah, the ring of swimming would give you a swimming speed of 40 feet. You basically have both of the things that you listed off, but you can just walk in water, so it's different. Yeah, I can't go through the water. Right, but let me know. And then what was that last thing, a breathing under the water thing? Yeah, it's a cap of water breathing. It gives you a bubble of air around your head. It lets you breathe normally while you're underwater.

Ooh, that sounds like fun. How much is that for purchase? How big is it? Do you think my whole body can fit in that? It adjusts itself to the user, to the wearer. Like a little hamster ball underwater. Okay.

You put it on mud, and then I transfer my big bubble to you. There you go. And then you get a big one. Or if you go the reverse, it fits just on the tip of your nose. Yeah. And just so you guys know, just since I know you guys and we've met before, I've got a little secret stash, too. Of what? Of just more of these? You'll have to go to my underwater basement to find out. Underwater basement.

I assume we need to buy one of your items to use your underwater basement. Oh, you can hold your breath and try to go down there. Okay, fair enough. I want to do that. How much was the breathing thing? The cap of water breathing, you can buy it for 500 gold or rent it for 100 gold. It's just not worth it, man. 500 gold? It's steep. I just don't have that much money anymore. I don't know.

In addition, up here, I've also got various items that you may need if you're going to a temple. You need a bell, you need a book, you need a scripture book, you need a candle, holy symbol, healer's kit, incense, lamp, oil, torches. You let me know. Why do you sell wares for going to temple? Well, if you're going to the Pantheon. Oh, there's a temple? Is there...

things we should be doing if we go to protocol. That's the way I was looking for it. Well, you can take those fish and give them as an offering while you're there. Okay. That's not bad. And then you have your secret stash. I got a little something extra special down in the basement. I turn into a sea otter. Ooh. Oh, put my hand. Ha ha.

Don't float away. I hold Kyborg's hand. I do the same. Yeah. Can I do a little dive? Yeah. I dive and I see what the wares are. Torthor also dives underwater as well. Yeah. I'm sort of stealing from Torthor. I'm kidding. Could Bart just be upstairs trying on the helmet or the cap? Right.

Rather. Yeah, sure. And looking at himself in the mirror. So when you go underwater, you see that his basement is actually upside down. Oh, that's cool. The surface of the water would be like the floor and the bottom of the water would be up. That's neat. Since things float. The upside down. I've got extra special wares down here if you want to check it out. Yeah. I've got a mask of water breathing.

Kind of like what you're doing right now. Sorry, I'm not there. You can't hear anything. Yeah, I got to be careful. You know, those land lovers might drown. Oh, for an aquatic creature? So you could bring a fish to breathe up on land with us? You're not here. Shh.

You literally just said it. You're upstairs with me! So if I wanted to bring an underwater friend who can't breathe oxygen, I could bring them out to the oxygen land? Yes. Oh, okay. How much is that? You can buy it for 250 gold or rent it for 50 gold. That's good to know. What else you got? Well, I've also got a shipwrecker pickaxe straight from New Valros, a necklace that lets you speak to others in the Aquan language, and a lily pad that can turn into a raft. This is our shop intended for our water-breathing friends.

Oh, right. Hey, just between you and me, you know, as water breathers, is there anything that I should know about the Pantheon? Like any sort of insight I should have about our visit there? There's old magics in the Pantheon relating to Amphibolus. From what I understand, and may not be correct, I'm thinking...

I think that amphibolus taught some powerful magic to Croke Myers from long ago, and it was somewhere in this area, possibly in the Pantheon. Alright, alright, I appreciate that. A very, very special place. Obviously.

Um, right. Well, I don't think I'll be purchasing anything. This was fun, though. I liked your little underwater shop. It was fun. It's upside down. Did you notice? That's so clever. And you know what? I think it's so clever. Let's just keep it between you and me, and we won't even tell the others about it. You got it. Okay. Do you guys ever get the feeling that mud keeps stuff from us? I shoot up out of the water and do a cool little trick before I land on the ground. Yay! Hooray, mud! You're not there. Mud. Mud.

Yeah, Torthor comes back up as well. All right. No, there's nothing really of interest down there. Hey, come on. I'm right here. I'm just, I'm keeping, you know. Actually, he did have an underwater breather thing for fish to come on land. I don't know if we have any use of that. But what if I turn into a fish? We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Do you think we might need this for?

I don't know. It's expensive, though. You'd want to rent it for 50 gold. We could probably pool our money for that. No pun intended. I have a question. Thank you. Maybe a pun a little bit intended since you're sitting there grinning. If we rent it for 50 and then we decide we want to keep it, can we then pay the difference? Sure, why not? Ooh.

What was the total? 200? 250. And 50 to rent? Yeah. For how long? One day. 24 hours. All right. Then we should probably rent it when we need it. We don't rent it right now, but we know it's here. Wait, really quick. Is the Pantheon, is there any underwater elements to the Pantheon? Who are you asking?

Uh, Torthor. Oh, yeah, of course. How could it be the Pantheon without being underwater? Give me, like, a percentage, like, underwater to above water for the Pantheon. Mostly underwater? There's a significant amount of underwater. Oh, okay. I'm gonna rent one of those...

breathing bubbles. You want to hang out with me underwater? I sure do. Don't forget, you can also, like I said, you can hold your breath. And the way it works, metagame perspective, is if you're holding your breath in D&D, I want to say you're able to hold your breath for one minute plus your constitution modifier. So, for example, Kyborg, your constitution modifier is plus two. So you'll be able to hold your breath for three minutes. Nah, nah,

I don't need to rent that stuff. Okay. I'm good. See you later. Yeah. Let's head out to the Pantheon. All right. See you all soon. Have a good trip. Bye. Bye, Dorthor. Bye. Kisses. So, uh, y'all head over to the Pantheon? Post haste. Okay. Like I said, the Pantheon's in the middle of the lagoon. And, uh, you see the doors like an aquatic door, like water. Y'all go in? Yeah. Can we? Yeah. Ah.

Ah, goo-le-goo. You all walk through the aquatic door and feel salt water wash over you from head to toe. You open your eyes and find yourself inside a narrow, circular tower completely submerged in water. Before you is a spiral staircase heading downward, but it's upside down. The stairs are above you. What? What is this? I have no idea what could be happening here. I've never seen anything like this.

So the stairs are upside down, but going in the direction of up? They're above you heading down. Like...

Up is down. Maybe we flood this tower. Oh, you're completely submerged in water. Oh. Wait, are we going to die then? I'm starting a timer. I'm thinking about Sonic right now. So everyone make sure you know one plus your constitution modifier. I just got a timer right here. Okay, so should we try to swim up to the stairs and try to go down?

down them. We swim upwards. Yeah. Also, I have the boots of kicking. Can I use those to help me thrust harder? Sure. Why not? All right. So the lagoon is made of salt water, so you naturally do float a bit more easily than you would otherwise. Can I float to the base of the stairs and then try to go up them? Yeah. We'll float down here. You may all make your way to the stairwell and you can see that you can invert yourself and head down. Yeah. You make your way down the stairwell until you reach a stone landing.

Before you is an archway that opens up into a sandstone temple with mud floors stretching at least 100 feet long, 80 feet wide, with ceilings that are 30 feet tall. To your left and right are rows of sandstone columns lined down the hall, and between each pair of column are diocese with twinkling lily pads on top.

In the center of the room is a sandstone statue. It looks like a figure holding something in each hand. At the far end of the temple is a massive fountain swirling with golden and green liquid inside. And is this all underwater still? Yes. The lily pads are just like empty? Yes, and you're at a minute. I put a fish on top of one of the lily pads. Yeah. Are we underwater? Yes. Oh. That's what I'm moving. Yeah. Could I go try to get the things that the thing in the middle is holding on the hands? How about I do it? Yeah. Because I can swim.

and I get fishies you can have. Sure. I'll deal with, Kyborg said the thing about the fish first on the lily pad. I'll deal with that first. You put the fish on there and it disappears. And then you see it reappear on the next lily pad over. Oh, God.

And then who else you said was going to go check out the liquid? I go check out the statue. Oh, you go check out the statue. It's a sandstone statue depicting a fluid-like aquatic being covered in shimmering scales, webbed fins along their face and limbs, and a pair of tails out of the back. They're depicted as floating weightlessly with a fixed stare. In their right hand is a set of weighing scales that's leaning to one side, and in their left hand is a scroll. And all of this is made out of sandstone. The scroll is even made out of sandstone. Okay. Okay.

So how many lily pads were there? Six. Okay. And then you had a fish, you had a crab. I had a crab, yeah. Seven pounds of fish. Two and a half pounds. Yeah, let's put the crab on one of the lily pads, yeah? Why are we putting stuff on lily pads? Because the guy, Tortothor, said there's a need to be options. He put a fish on one of them, and it moved to another lily pad? Okay, okay. Okay.

I feel like that's, yeah, okay. So to distribute fishes amongst all the lily pads? Yeah, I'll put a crab down on one of the empty lily pads. Yeah, so who's doing it? Bart and anybody else? I mean, I'll put a fish on all the lily pads. A trout? A trout. I don't know how many fish I have. You gave me pounds, so like... It's a couple. Okay. Yeah, after you all start doing this, you reconvene and you realize that it seems like the lily pads all transport to other lily pads. Like you see, you can see there's a pattern.

One of them was going to go to the north. One of them was going to go to the south, to the west. It's just like a way to move around in the room. Oh, so they're not offering positions. They're just transporting. They're transporting, correct. Could I sit on one of the lily pads? Yeah. You sit on the lily pad and you actually realize that you can think of a direction and the lily pad transports you there. But a fly flies in and then you combine with its genetics. Where's a way to get out of here? Or get a breath in at least. You can go back out the way you came in. We're at four minutes. Yeah, I need to go out.

I imagine we can't hold our breath for that long. Sorry, what was the brain? One plus your constitution modifier. Yeah, we should go back out. Okay, yeah, I'm going to go out and then take a new breath in. I stay. Oh, oh, kiss me like in Waterworld. Do it quickly, mud! Shove Kyborg away. Okay, I go out and take a breath in. So when you all are catching your breath out here, you see that there's like a basket here near the doorway where you all first walked in. Okay.

I have some remaining fish. And there's also a sign above the door that says, Pantheon of Amphibolus. Oh, okay. And on either side of the door, there's a basket made of woven reeds that's filled with fish. Oh, okay. Donations, basically. Could we... Could I gather up all the fish that were messed around with the lily pads, bring them back to the door, and give them to those guys to put in baskets? Sure. Okay. And we put the fish in the baskets. The lime in the coconut. I'll get on my praying pillow and...

And kneel as I present the fish, because I have a frayed paling. Everyone gets an inspiration die for your offering to Amphibolus. And if we already had one, we'd get...

A pat on the back. An extra inspiration die. Wow. What if we try and split the party up to stand on certain pillars? Oh. How many pillars are there? Six. Yeah, because if we move, if we get on pillars, we need to see if that has a relationship with the scales that they balance. Yeah. Okay. Can we...

swim back in. I try and help everybody swim as fast as possible. Okay. You're swimming with purpose. You know where you're going this time. Yeah. Cowborg makes bubbles, and they're not from his mouth. Oh, he farts. Is that propulsion? Propulsion? Mud, then...

That's imparting. That's imparting. Thank you. Micah needed that foley help. You're welcome. I stand on one of the lily pads on the right. Okay, you stand on it and you feel like arcane energy and you teleport. And does anything change about the statue? Make a perception check. I will make a perception check. That's a 14. Nothing changes that you can tell. However, you notice that the weighing scales, the side that they're leaned to, it looks like there's little water droplets carved into it.

There's little water droplets carved into the scales. Those just appeared when John moved. He just noticed them. Water droplets carved into the scales. Yeah, it's like symbols carved onto the scale. But they were underwater. So if I try to put water on the scales, that doesn't make sense, right? Correct. Because there's already water everywhere. Can I go investigate these water droplet things? Yeah, make an investigation check.

14. Yeah, you notice that, you know, there are indeed, like Mud said, there's like symbols of water droplets on the left pan of the weighing scale and like a symbol of a pile of dirt in the right pan. Oh, and also actually you notice the scroll has something etched onto it, but you can't understand it.

Bart swims up and tries to look at the scroll. What languages do you read? Common, Goblin, Halfling. Mm-mm. You don't understand it. I swim over to it. What languages do you read? I speak Elvish, Halfling, Giant, Andritic, Common. Mm-mm. Doesn't look familiar. What?

Gum gum. I mentioned, or I waved for him to come over. I'll look. Unless it's orc, I don't think it's going to help. No. Gum gum, you have no idea. I rub my butt on the scroll. You rub your butt on the scroll? Yeah, I'm going to perceive what that does. Make a charisma saving throw. Okay. Negative two. 17. Oh, okay. You feel like it stuns you a little bit. Like it shocks you a little bit. The fish are getting revenge. Do you have any dirt mud? I indicate with like my hands. Dirt mud.

Okay, I guess I turn back into mud because I don't have access to my inventory. I have dirt. Oh, okay. I do not turn back into mud. Just kidding. I'm still an otter. It's awesome. Yeah, go for it. Yeah, I'll put dirt in the dirt side. You do that and the water seems to drain from the room and the entire room is transformed into a forest environment with soil and shrubbery and willow trees. All right. So I guess we put water in exchange to a water room, put dirt in exchange to a house. Okay.

I'm going to put fire on it. Bart is like, looks like a wet rat and he's just like on the floor going. Is the fountain still going in the back? Yeah. The fountain is still filled with like a mixture of a green and yellow fluid. I'd like to go and see if I could tell what these fluids are. So it's like a golden shower? Or like algae. You're really sick. You just like take a look at it or.

Like, what are you trying to do? Like, you just want to know what's in it? I smell it. I check on it to see if, like, I know what it could be. Sticks his tongue out on it. No, I do not. Yeah, you smell it and take a look at it. Make a nature check. Happy to, after I smack myself on the butt. That's not going to be enough. Even with a D4, it is only going to be...

It's definitely not water. You're not sure what it is. There's something unusual about it. Something foul smelling about it. Can I go over to it? Yeah, of course.

Yeah, of course. And I will also stick it with... and then maybe stick my finger in and touch it to my tongue. Oh, God. Sure, make a... what'd I say? A nature check. So, gum gum got poisoned. At 20. Oh, nice. With a minus 3, so 17. 17. But still, a 20. Yeah, it's, you know, it's definitely not water. You'd think it's something that would be considered toxic.

Like rotten toxic or poison toxic? Just not good. Like something that would make you sick. So maybe you wouldn't want to put your tongue on it, but you still want to touch it? Yeah, I think we need to clean it. Make a strength saving throw. 29. Yeah, it feels like the liquid when you touch it tries to grab onto you and latches itself around your finger and tries to almost kind of like pull you in, but then you manage to pull your finger out. Can we tell this is the amnesia? You think it might be an amnesia.

What killed it last time? Lightning and ice. Yeah. Mud's gonna make an arcana check for me. Mud's gonna make an arcana check. Did Gum-Gum fart? Because it pulled its finger. That's what the stinky noise is. 19. Stinky noise.

You realize as you're walking around the room that the scroll in the hand of the statue seems to pulse anytime you get close to it. I get close to it. Rub your butt to it. Yeah, the closer you get, the more the scroll pulses with a light. I don't know how tall it is. Can I reach it or climb up to it? Yeah, you can reach it. Okay, I reach and grab it.

Uh...

Uh, go ahead and make me a perception check. From everyone else's perspective, it looks like mud touches it and is instantly stunned. 16. Where am I? It seems at first like you're overwhelmed by your surroundings, like when you're in a dark room and then you go into, you know, a well-lit room and your eyes can't quite adjust, but you feel like you're overcome with awe. And the first thing you notice is a majestic mountain with seven plateaus in the distance.

rising from a shining silver sea, seems to go on for an eternity. And you look down and you notice your body isn't physically here, just your spirit. Are you dead? You're back at Mount Celestia, where you first encountered the goddess Andi. And a fluid voice behind you says, Hmm...

A mortal in Mount Celestia. And a land dweller, it seems. You turn around to find a dazzling being with fins and scales shimmering like turquoise water across their entire fluid form. And what do they call you? Uh, Mud the Great. Mud the Great? A lofty title indeed.

I thought it was a bit much but you know people kept saying it and I couldn't get them to stop Well Mud the Great I am Amphibolus the spirit of water Why have you come here druid? Thirsty I came here because I need a scroll from you in order to use this emerald to heal Mudad And why would someone so great need something from me?

You know, we all, like I've heard from these great priests of our time, we all need a little help from our friends. Ah, I see. I get by with a little help from my friends. Yes. Are you worthy of my incantation? What would you do if I granted it to you? That's a wonderful question. I don't know. I guess I'm curious about your realm, and so I guess...

I'd be happy to learn more about your works and whatever this mountain is. Mount Celestia? Only the most holy of places in all the planes. It's where I call home after having spent some time and growing tired of the material plane. Is this where, uh, has Daya been here? Daya?

Yes, she has been known to dwell here. I was once taught the arcane arts by Dia herself. Is that what the seven plateaus are for? Is that where the gods reside? Ah, yes. Many deities do reside in this realm. Although I have not seen Dia for some time. This might be of interest for you, um, to you, but me and my compatriots are actually trying to gather the Dia gems together, and we've succeeded in getting two of them already. Cool.

Quite impressive. Perhaps you are worthy of the title "Great." I mean, no arguments here. That's confident mud. But mortals, so fickle and short of life.

I mean, sure. We definitely are fleeting in moments. And with allegiances, as I've learned firsthand. Sure. I'm sure that, yeah, I mean, I can't disagree with you on that. There's some fickle people out there, but I'm not one of them, just to let you know. Is that so? I did once grant an incantation to a mortal, a druid similar to you from the Witherveins. However, I was betrayed.

That incantation was used to dominate others, and that person violated my oral tradition by transcribing it onto a scroll. Oh, so you're more of a verbal kind of thing. Most certainly. I seized that scroll, hid it from your realm, cursed that traitorous pupil, and have left the material plane for what would feel like a century to you. Oh. Any chance you want to divulge information of the name of that individual? Of course.

Sludge. Sludge. Sludge.

Uh, well, I'm happy to report that I am no friend of Sludge, and in fact he is an enemy of my family and people. Hmm. And is actually imprisoned right now, uh, with my people, so I feel like we're lined up and, you know, ready to be good friends, you and I. It sounds like our interests are aligned. Amphibolus holds out her arms and a cool cloud of mist washes over you. She's blessed you with a divine rest, which is equivalent of a long rest.

Love it. So basically, from our perspective, Mud froze in place and his eyes went back in his head for like 10 minutes? Not even. It's just for you guys, it's just like an instant has passed. But for him, like all this time. I like it that he was just sitting there and we're like, so what do you think happened? So what do you think he's doing right now? Slapping Mud over and over. Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Keep running!

And all at once again, everything goes white. You feel your spirit rushing back to your body and coming to hold a statue scroll in your hand. The sandstone crumbles around the scroll, revealing a turquoise piece of parchment.

The Aquan language inscription ripples like water. And you can actually understand this. It says, amphibolus blessing. Mud, you peed your pants. We're all wet from the water. So you can actually add that to your inventory, by the way. I should probably do that right now. You got so much cool stuff this episode. My turn. So basically, you can create a 10-foot cube of soil, mud, water, or ice within range, and you can mold it into any desired shape.

After creating it, the terrain can be molded again into any shape desired as a bonus action. Now I figured out how we can give Gum Gum bats without him fighting us. No! As you're going over this, Gum Gum, yeah, you're a little worried about the Amnesias and you look at them again and you see that they're slowly trying to slink out from the fountain.

and flank around all of you guys. - Oh, they're like, are they freed? So there's more than one then? - Yeah, you see that a couple have started coming out. Whoosh, a surge of water swirls near the fountain and suddenly you see a Terra shell wearing sneakers and a cummerbund.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah, grab him. All right, I shall. Can I do an insight check? Yes. It's a zero.

Yeah, that's Torthor. All right, I'll go and jump to him, but I'll put my friendship bracelet on. Whoosh! Your surroundings swirl around you, and in an instant, you feel the fresh night air fill your lungs. Your whole body is dried of any salt water, and you open bleary eyes to see you're back in the lagoon of Krokmeyer, just outside the Pantheon. You look around to see families of Aladiles, Terrashells, and Froads are all fishing in boats around the lagoon. As you step into the moonlight, the hair on your neck stands on end. It feels like you're being watched.

You survey your landscape and realize the truth. All the families are staring at you with yellowish eyes. Oh. Oh. I stare back. Well, you can stare back in the next episode, John. Because that is it for this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Yeah. Yeah.

Like zombie yellow eyes? You'll have to find out in the next episode. Why did you sound like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo there? Zoinks! Zoinks! Zoinks, Gus! Well, thanks for listening, everyone. Don't forget to give us a follow on social media, like we said earlier. And check out that puppet video we were talking about. It's really good. Yeah, StinkyDragonPod on all the social channels.

The Kajuju, along with the other devoted di- Sorry. The Kajuju, along with the other devoted diarians, recognize that diagems- Diarians. I know. Diarians. It doesn't make any sense. The Kajuju, along with other devoted diarians- This is so stupid. It's okay, I'll drug. Please, breathe steady, breathe. The Kajuju, along with other devoted- Write it down. We'll read it.

The kajuju along with... Hey, at least someone else will be doing the voice acting.