C01 - Ep. 65 - Betwixt The Bramblecracks - Slime Spree
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This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

This is a Rooster Teeth production. What's the word, all you were-rats? Scurry on in to the Stinky Dragon. Swallow our latest swill, Calculated Whisker. It's a mixture of vermin's vermouth, two scoops of mice cream, shape-changing choco liqueur, and a drizzle of snitchy-stitchy syrup. One small sip of this rodential refreshment is one giant leap for rat kind.

Previously, our adventurers embarked on Clay's Bramble Boat bound for Mud's motherland of Witherveins. While aboard, the party pawled around with patrons, played a barn-burning game of Euphrates, and bid on some baubles with Bunko, aka Bezzler. They finally arrived at Mud's hometown of Bub Bayou, but found themselves saying buh-bye to Clay being yanked away by yellow slime. Bring over a Bev and let's dive into this dank drama.

I like to think that every time you do this, it's your vocal warm-up for the day. It is a little bit. Me, me, me, me, me. Red leather, yellow leather. Red leather, yellow leather. What if he does vocal warm-ups in bed, but it's like as soon as he wakes up and he's got that voice, good morning. Morning.

No, I'm not very coherent when I first wake up. I wouldn't be able to say much. Hello, wife. I'd like to see that. You just, you wake up and immediately try and read one of those. It would be awful. It would be terrible. There's no way I can disguise when I first wake up. You can definitely hear it on me. So we were supposed to have bought all these remaining items, right? Dang it, I didn't do that.

I did. I did. Should I subtract the gold now? Yeah, go ahead and subtract the gold. Speaking of that, first we want to give a big shout out to everyone on social media that submitted magic item ideas using hashtag StinkyDragonPod or posted on the subreddit. We didn't have enough time in the last episode to go down the list and offer each magic item, so we decided to let the players look for themselves, buy some between the episodes, and then let you know what they each bought right now. I got some cool stuff. What did you get, Barbara? I bought the Voronean Goggles.

You want to try that? Voro... You got to go... It's like run at it. Just run at it and don't stop. Voronion. There you go. That's funny because I got the Voronian. Well, I don't know how you actually pronounce it. No, no. He's just making fun, but I think it's funny that he... No, I'm making fun of the fact that we both wanted the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my name is on there. Oh, I didn't... Shoot.

- Shoot. - Yep, that goes to Bart. What do the goggles do, Bart? - While wearing these goggles, you could see up to a hundred feet through all types of non-magical weather, such as rain, fog, or snow. Additionally, your vision is not affected by the fog, I'm assuming that's gonna say fog cloud spell. - Yeah, it is not the fog cowed spell. It is the fog cloud spell, correct. - Cloud spell. - But that fog cowed spell is very powerful. - Sounds pretty good.

Interesting. And then I also bought the Drunk Helmsman. Before we move on, do you want to read the flavor text on the goggles? Oh, there's flavor text? Right above the while wearing these goggles. What a beautiful feeling I'm seeing in the rain.

Nice. What a beautiful feeling. There it is. I wanted to read it first and then sing it. You guys are so impatient today. My God. We're just, we can't wait to hear your singing voice. That's what it is. You kept it from us, but with that tepid initial read. What a glorious feeling.

Similar to the Chipmunks Christmas album, we need a Bart Christmas album. But it's going to be... They did all the Christmas songs outside for Hanukkah. In addition to that, I also, because I couldn't not buy this, the Drunk Helmsman Drink Up Me Hardies Yo-Ho is the flavor text. I will do that first. It's a favorite of Pirates and Near Dwells.

Often called the barbaric drunk helmsman, activating this rare device will play a boomingly loud sea shanty from the compass and cause any structure, vehicle, or ship beneath it to shake, list, and seemingly spin for five minutes, bouncing around like a compass needle trying to find north. Enemies must make a DC-13 athletic saving throw every minute or be deafened and knocked prone.

Interesting that it says only enemies and not everyone. I like that. That's purposely why I was okay buying it. And apparently it's also banned at sporting events. So if you go to a sporting event, then you take it to the pregame though. Oh yeah. And that's provided by our own Brendan. Hell yeah. I saw that on the list and I was like, I know this is,

This is made for Bart. Who else bought stuff? I got the... Were you saying go to me? I was going to say blame, but we'll just say you. I got the cupcake of hunger. Cupcake of hunger. Delicious looking cupcake that once consumed sends its user into ravenous hunger. For the next 10 minutes, the user must attempt to eat any food items it sees or interacts with. We'll go seek out food if none nearby.

Why would you want that? Because. Maybe you feed that to someone? Yeah, it's a trap. Oh, okay. It's a trap. Got it, got it, got it. And that was created by Serbean18 on our subreddit. And then I got the Elixir of Undying Affection. Additional plus five to charisma for 24 hours. However, if the party is attacked within the 24 hours, the attacks are always directed first towards the consumer. I don't see a negative to that considering I'm the tank. Yeah. And that was created by at Gifaruni on Twitter. And I wanted to get the Dim Eris...

player becomes lucky until the end of the day at the expense of minus four intelligence. But after discussing it with Gus, I realized that the minus four intelligence would take me to zero intelligence. And then I would become in a coma. Yeah. Having a zero intelligence makes you catatonic. Oh,

you are in a coma you cannot do anything if you have zero intelligence in dungeon dragons 5 like that rule yeah as opposed to what no i'm saying like i didn't know if you were just like uh making a a joke at what that is no no that's in the rules if you have zero intelligence you are catatonic or in a coma you're unable to do anything nope head empty no thoughts how put thoughts back in uh well 24 hours back i have 24 hours of

So you're a very lucky vegetable. Yeah, for 24 hours. So I was like, this is gum gum. May not be practical. He's a lucky potato that we take around with us. Rub him for good luck. Yeah, we rub him for good luck. Who's next? I'll let Blaine go. I wanted to go for the Veronian goggles, but I misunderstood how to acquire them.

What if you guys just split them in half and you have Veroni and Monaco? Could I let you borrow them? Yeah. When if slash when the time comes. But I also don't like mine parting ways. I earlier in the auction got the boots of kicking. I could get the arrow of misdirection, but I want to I want you guys to tell me if this is worth getting. Before we move on to the arrow, I do want to point out the boots of kicking were submitted by Christine R on Reddit.

Thank you, Christine R. Get the dirt misdirection one. I like that one. Arrow misdirection is when you successfully hit a creature with this arrow, you have to make a wisdom saving throw, DC 15, after they have taken damage from the attack. If you score a critical hit with this arrow, the target has disadvantage on the saving throw. On a failed save, they have disadvantage on all attack rolls until the end of their next turn. That's not bad. It's 100 gold pieces. Do it. With these, how many arrows do I get? Oh,

Um, three, three, a hundred gold pieces, 33.333 repeating cold coins, cold coins. I don't know. Then, then don't save your money. I'm saving my money. Save your money. I want another arm upgrade.

The only thing I want to get, because I feel like I have to get it for John and for Mud, is the monster sphere, which allows the holder to capture a single monster of CR rating of half their character level, which at this point would be five. That's big animals. When inside the ball, the monster is unable to act or take damage. Being considered in stasis can be used as a one-time summoning where the monster will attack you.

on your behalf. - If you mash A, does it have the chance? - Yeah, you have to hold B. - Oh, I always have mashed A. - You are in a different universe. Who mashed A? - For a Pokeball throw? - Yeah. It was like, "Hold B." - Baby Blaine did. - Oh, okay. - Can you carry this monster sphere in your pocket? - Yes. Yes. - Okay. - Which would make it a monster pocket. - Yeah, a monster pocket.

I just want to clarify. Wait, so do you get to keep them or is it just as a one-time summon? So it does. It captures them, but I can't just keep them forever. They're like my little one shot.

Okay. What if you grabbed like a sea creature and then we were in an Arctic battle and then you just, why would I do that? I don't know. It'd be pretty sad, right? Like if you pulled it out in the middle of nowhere and then you can't put it back in the ball cause it's a one-time summon. That's what I'm getting at. Yeah. This is trapped in the Arctic away from its family.

because the family's the real bummer of that one yeah so thank you to nerd level 18 on the subreddit for submitting uh that item if you guys ever make items that are pokemon related i'm gonna have to buy it monster pocket related yeah it's digimon right for legal purposes it is a monster pocket it's a it's a digital pocket okay so uh we good that everyone go for it come we shall make our way to bramble castle to sit

Does anyone smell that? Sorry. Suddenly, Clay's legs are yanked out from beneath him. With lightning speed, you see something like yellow slime dragging him by the legs away from the docks towards the water. Mud! Mud, help me, brother! Help me!

Why didn't you do anything? I just want to point out that in this universe, contrary to John, Mud actually has a really good sense of smell. And so when he said, do you smell that? He totally smelled it. I just want to make that advantage on smell rolls. I have advantage. That's yeah. And I think Gumbo would also be very smelly as well. What does it smell like?

It smells like a man with nose it's not a mess I'm getting into character. Oh, I got I got you make a stinky stink. It's a little stinky. It's like Why am I talking in that? We got a beetle with us I need to take a reset on this entire day. Um, you're machete just say mud a bunch of times That's right. There is the Scottish right there. Um, I

Everybody has their words they have to say to get into the voice that they're doing. Yeah. Badass. And then Chris just punches himself in the face. He just goes, come, come. So it smells like five-day-old nacho cheese. Ooh. Very descriptive. Some might describe that as stinky.

Oh. Splat!

Four more yellow blobs of slime emerge from the water and plop onto the wood plank path, snaking between the buildings and trees. This thing's from Zelda. Big, uh... Jellies. Are they in more than the Wind Waker? I have no idea. They're another one. Oh yeah, there's little walking ones that do the shocky in Link to the Past. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're there. Anyways, let's kill them. They stole your brother. Uh...

So we still steal their lives. Yeah, it's an equal steal. Sure, you're going to kill them. If you're going to kill them, everyone go ahead and roll initiative then. Is there any other wave? We're surrounded by a few, right? There's like four of them? Yeah, there's four. Well, actually, there's a total of five. There's four, and then the one that has clay, they're all scattered throughout town, and the one with clay is on the far side of town. Oh, we're not surrounded by the four. Four just landed randomly in the town. Correct. And one grabbed them.

A fifth grab. So we're not chaperoned by anybody else right now? There's no other NPCs around us to talk to? No, most of the other NPCs like ran inside and they're in hiding after seeing what's happening. Right, what's our plan? I rolled for initiative. What? Hold on. I don't understand what roll for initiative is. I am ready to attack. Come with me brothers.

What did he yell when he got them? Amusius? Amusius. Amusius. Matt, what does that mean? You're one of these guys. I totally know what those are because they are... I'm just thinking about the best way to phrase it. Do you ever play this video game called Legend of Zelda? No, no. I don't know. Would Matt know what these are? No, Matt has not seen these before. I've never seen them in my life. Let's talk root word. Amnus.

So they either are an Austin podcast or have to do with memory loss. Is anyone around nearby that is like fighting them or doing anything? All the NPCs went into hiding and jumped into the buildings when they saw the amnusias appear. We have to go get your brother. Turn into an animal.

Why would he turn into an animal? I thought they came out of the water. Here's the thing. They're water-based, and I think if I shot him with an electric arrow, that would hurt him pretty bad. You have an electric arrow now? No, but I have... Gift of the Chromatic Dragon! There it is. Let's go get your brother. Okay, yes, we are doing that. Okay, well, everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Kyborg already did. Yes, teacher.

I also rolled an 11. I rolled a 21. Hold on. I'm remembering where initiative is. Just a second. Kyborg and Bart, what are your dexterities? The Satan throw or the... Just the number. Your ability score. That's the tiebreaker. 18. 20. I rolled a 9. Okay. So, Kyborg, you're going to go before Bart because your dexterity is higher. Is it 20? No. Son of a...

Strength and techs are like 18 and 20. Yeah, from where you landed, you know, as I said, this whole area, it's kind of a marshy land, but there's a platform that goes out and then kind of to the northwest from your position, and there's an amnesia up there at that intersection. It's a good strategic spot. And for its initiative, it has...

Well, Gum Gum, what do you want to do? How far is it to Clay? He's on the other side of town from where you are. Like how far away to get to him? You'd have to go across a bunch of planks just because there's like marsh area. So it's like there's a wooden pathway across there. So it's not like you could just go straight. So winding along the path, it's about 150 feet or so. Pretty far. You can jump that. You can jump that. Huh?

I guess I'll start by raging and seeing where that goes. Okay, GumGum gets really angry for some reason. Some would say he's got a problem with it and he really needs to learn how to control it, but not GumGum. My friends, brother! That's a three, so we'll see what that is. Flump, flump, flump. It is a flump! I knew it was a flump! Threes are flumps! Um...

our new shirt come into the store. Is there a creature? He's a three, but he's a flum. Is there one of those bad guys within 30 feet? Yeah, the one at the intersection away from you is about 25, 30 feet away to the northwest. Okay, I want to make my flump appear next to that one.

Okay, and where's the next nearest one? The next nearest one from there, it's actually kind of on the way, there's like a little offshoot to the side, like a little to the northeast from there. It's, that one's actually probably, honestly, that one's probably a little closer, so I'll say 20, 25 feet to that one. Okay, well, I'm gonna run to that one. Should I run, should I jump to save your brother? I mean, it's marshland, so like if he runs, is he running through water and mud? There

There's a path to get there. They're all landed on paths. They didn't pop out of the water. Is there a way I could run and jump further and then get to a further one and then attack it? Yeah, there's another one behind that. Well, actually, there's two behind that further to the northeast that both would be within jumping range. Okay, I'm going to go to the furthest one I can get to and jump to it and then attack it.

With my axe. Do you think we were supposed to fight these guys? Well, I'll say that the villagers running into their homes doesn't give me the idea that these are welcome. Maybe no one's ever tried talking to them. I'm just, you know, all I can do is use information that's given to me. Context clues. Which storyline of Westworld is this?

So the one you can jump to that's like kind of within range, furthest away, you would be able to like circumvent three of the amnusias and then get to like the fourth one that's furthest away but closest to clay. That one's actually kind of on solid ground. That one's not on like a rickety wooden path like the other ones. Well, then I'll do that and jump to that and say, if you're not mean, say something now. Right before I hit it. Okay. It does not speak to you. Okay. Oh, he's mean. What noise does it make?

And I'm recklessly attacking it

Oh no! Don't be reckless. And I just want to clarify something with this reckless attack. I saw someone on Twitter reach out about this. You know, when you reckless attack, it gives you advantage on attacks. And I do know that that makes you have disadvantage on attacks against you. Someone pointed that out on Twitter. What I replied to them is, yeah, I've been taking that into account. Your AC is so low, it normally doesn't matter. It normally all attacks hit you regardless.

My AC is a little higher now, though. For people who might have a question about that, just tossing that in there. Okay, I'm sorry. So you attack with advantage and you have, what is that, a 30? A 30. Believe it or not, that hits. Yeah. Believe it or not. Wow. I don't know. I'm pulling my collar here. This unarmored jelly. All right. So that's a...

17 with my rage. 17 points of damage. Yeah. And this is with your axe? With my random axe of kindness. And I swing it. That was my battle yell. I didn't expect that. And I just like swing it down the middle of it, I guess. Okay. Try and lop it in half. Is that a bad idea? Oh, wait, that might be a bad idea. Yeah, you connect and your axe slices mightily and very cleanly through the amnesia.

Splitting it in half, but then the two halves reform into the amnesia. So don't use slashing damage. Oh, God. Wait, what happened? He sliced it and it just turned back into one. It was like a single cell organism splitting. Split into two and then just reformed into one. So basically like swords and slashing does... Bludgeon them. It would seem that way. Does nothing to them. Yeah, nothing lasting. Nothing lasting.

Nothing last. Dang it. Okay. No knifing. No knifing. I was going to try one of my new spells that I have, but that involves like a slashing. What is with Bart and so many like slashing dagger things? Cloud of daggers has a dagger. He just puts his hands up and a bunch of daggers come out. Bart's going through a knife phase. Guys.

Guys, if bio taught me anything, this is known as mitosis. Did you have to Google that? I had to double check that I was right before I said it, but I knew it was mitosis. Miosis or mitosis? Miosis results in four. It's different. What's meiosis? I don't know. Let's keep going with the battle. With my second attack, I'm going to smash it with my staff of flowers. Oh, your staff of flowers is actually a weapon as well? Yeah. All right. Or I guess I could use my rainbringer staff. I'm going to use that one instead. The rainbringer staff. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, go ahead and make your attack roll. Gum-Gum sheathes his axe and pulls out his Rainbringer staff. Is he going to make it rain? Yeah. That's a 23. That hits. And I did 13 points of damage with it. Yeah, you bonk it over the head with your Rainbringer staff, and the staff just kind of gets stuck in the amnesia and just kind of like is stuck in there for a second. You got to pull it out free. Go kiss it. What does that sound like? John raced to take his headphones off.

Mike, I think we need Gus to do all the Foley sound effects for this. Well, I guess that's it for me. My floof explodes. Oh, yeah, your floof exploded. So these things can't be physically hit, it seems like. It would seem that way. Time for magic.

What if I exploded one? Maybe? Yeah, maybe. What is explosion damage? Exploding jelly. I have burst in arrows. Yeah, but what's that? What's the designation of that damage? Gustavo? I'm looking it up. I'm looking up the flump first. Oh, sorry. Succeed on a dexterity saving throw or take 1d6 force damage. Interesting. Okay.

So what's the dexterity save they need to make? Is it just like my dexterity, which would be 14? No, it should say at the top. So the saving throw is DC 8 plus your proficiency bonus plus your constitution modifier. So it's 8 plus your constitution is 4, so 12. And your proficiency bonus is 4, so 16. So they need to make a DC 16 dexterity save. Their dexterity is plus 6, so I need a 10.

10 or better on this roll. 17. So that's a successful save. And do they take half? No, just so they don't take anything. Yeah, so no damage. The amnesia senses that the flump's about to explode, flattens itself out, and the explosion goes over what would be its head? Question mark? Cool. Dude, you should catch one of these flumps. I mean, you should catch one of these amnesia things. I'm okay. That's like walking out from Professor Oak's lab and just catching a grimer. Grimer.

But these things can't be killed. Very easy. Not by the hands of Gum-Gum. But maybe by the brains and head of Gum-Gum. Whose turn is it? I'm done. You're done? Okay. That means it is their turn. Then after them is Kyborg. Okay. Lucky for you guys, Gum-Gum jumped over so many and activated them all in the initiative list. He pulled Argo. So, yeah. Argo. Argo.

You mean aggro? Nope, I meant Argo. What does that mean? It's part of like Leet speak where when you were like in like World of Warcraft, you'd say I pull aggro, but it's like, you know, it's like an intentional typo. You know, you spell T-H instead of the... What's that? So pull Argo. Okay, let's see. GumGum's over there engaged with one of the Amnusias. Congratulations. Thank you. Amnusias.

One of them had a flump by it and the other two got jumped over. So we'll start with the one that had the flump by it. It's going to close in on the party and it's going to attack Bart. His name is Bart.

Bart. All right. One of them oozes over closer to the party and kind of reaches out with like a slimy appendage and takes a swing at Bart, hitting AC 24. Well, that's...

That's a hit. Of course. It hits Bart doing... I'm imagining it's one of those, like, you know, those little sticky hands that you throw against the wall. Yeah, that's really good. The worst. It does 17 points of bludgeoning damage. And I need you to make a strength saving throw, Bart. Hold on. Let me put my damage in first. 17? Yeah. Strength saving throw? Yes.

That's an eight. Much like those sticky hands, it sticks to your body and starts pulling you in closer to itself. Oh, no. And it's like grappling with you, similar to how it grabbed Clay and pulled him away. You're now being grabbed and pulled in to this amnesia. Okay. I've seen this movie before.

I guess I don't have like a reaction or anything like that. What is your reaction to that? No, I mean like... I know, what is yours though? Ew, ew, get off, get off, get off, get off, get off, get off. Okay, so Bart is grappling with that one. That leaves the two that Gum-Gum jumped over. Do they all roll together? Same initiative? Yeah. Is that indicative of their... It's just easier for me. Okay, okay.

They're like a hive mind. No, no. Is it canon or just a lazy DM? Yeah, it's lazy. 1 to 50. This one's going to attack GumGum. 51 and above. It attacks the party. Attacks the party. One of the ones that GumGum jumped over, turns over, closes the distance to attack party members.

and closes in and attacks. Oh, tries to make an attack on Kyborg. It also reaches out with one of its sticky hands. Stop. I hate these noises. Trying to attack Kyborg, hitting AC 12, which I assume is a miss. Nope. No can do. I assume it's a miss.

it's a miss you pulled a chris there ac 16. all right the one that gum gum is attacking uh reaches out to counter attack against gum gum hitting ac 24 which i assume is a hit yeah it does 12 points of bludgeoning damage and oh but you're raging so you take half of that okay so you take six and you need to make a strength saving throw not a strength check a strength saving okay

That's an 11. Do I have advantage on saving throws when I'm raging? You tell me. Yeah, when I'm raging. That's handy. We're level 10. 25. 25, okay. Yeah, the sticky hand reaches out for you, but misses. You managed to dodge out of the way. Oh, I forgot to mention. It probably didn't matter. I just saw when I leveled up, my rage bonus went up plus one damage. Probably didn't matter. Oh, yeah, it didn't matter. But yeah, good to know. Moving forward.

So you managed to dodge out of the way. And then that leaves one final Amnesia that... Oh, but I want to activate my new Rage thing, so whenever I get attacked, I can activate my Rage Randomizer. So randomize it again? Oh, wait, it's only if I take damage. Sorry, ignore me.

You did take damage. We're trying, Chris. Oh, I did? Okay, then yeah. Then I'm going to do that. Yeah, you took 12 points of bludgeoning damage, but your rage is the only one that only takes six. So that's a two, and that goes again. So now the floofs are gone. The flumps. The flumps are gone. You're a cat? You went with it, though. John just pushed my 32-ounce water bottle off the table. Why? Because he's a cat.

I teleport up to 30 feet to an unoccupied space. Oh, okay. I want to teleport to wherever his brother is, Clay. 30 feet, huh? Let's see if that's within range. That is within range. Gum-Gum learning nothing engages the final flump into the battle, or the final amnesia. What about Gum-Gum's character says he learns things? Fool me once, shame on you.

Okay, yeah, it is close enough. You are able to teleport over there. Is that your impression of them? So you teleport over to the furthest amnesia on the other end of town, and you're over there by that one that's holding clay. As in clay is inside of the amnesia, correct? Yeah. Remember Futurama, like those gelatinous aliens who would put people inside of them? They'd be like... Yeah, like that. He's in his own snow globe. Got it.

- Nice. That was that one. That's the other one that GumGum jumped over. Oh, I guess GumGum's now out of range. So this one has no choice but to close in on the party and attack. It's going to go after Kyborg. - Oh, thank you. - It closes the distance and lashes out with a sticky hand at Kyborg hitting AC. Oh, that's a miss. Hitting AC, nothing.

It's a total miss. Okay. AC nothing. And now it's time for the one that's holding clay that Gum Gum is by. It's going to take an attack on Gum Gum. Wait, there's five of them? Yeah. There was one that had clay that went away and then four that were between you. Got it. The fifth one strikes out at Gum Gum, hitting AC 23, which I assume is a hit. Yeah. Doing...

nine points of damage so you take four this one did split right now what happens if you slice all the way through though does it make two that's what i did and they just go oh so like it completely separated didn't just get like cut okay

I thought you maybe just like opened it. Kyborg, you are up. Then after you is Bart. We have two dudes that tried to attack me and we also got a Bart that's kind of pinned down. How close are they like proximity wise? They're probably on top of you. Yeah, they're all like within melee striking range, like within five feet or so. Your favorite distance to be. Not that a melee weapon will really help us here. Depends.

Uh, I'm gonna do... I'm gonna start out with... Gift of the Chromatic Dragon! But before I do that, I say, should I do, like, Acid, Cold, Fire, Lightning, or Poison? I don't know. I mean, Ice would freeze them. They seem liquid-based, but then Lightning sounds pretty wicked, though. Lightning! I would try Ice for some of them.

Lightning! He can't hear you. You're too far away, Gum-Gum. He can't hear you over the thunder. And now I'm going to take a shot at... Shoot. Okay, if I shoot the one that's grasping you, then it might transfer the lightning to you. Do you consent to lightning dance? It's okay. Bart can take it.

I'm so beefy and strong. I should have shot at the one that's holding Bart. Aim carefully. A lot of people don't know this, but Bards are actually non-conductive. Oh, that's good to know. Would you say the lightning is frightening, Gus? Very, very frightening.

So I have advantage against being frightened. I realize I should have made a more joke that bards are actually very conductive. They love music. Oh, there's the joke. The joke is there. I'm going to be a teacher's pet and assume I have disadvantage because they're melee attack range. Yes, you are correct. I like him following rules as him being a teacher's pet. 21. Oh, sorry, 19. Yeah, it hits regardless. Okay, so then I do...

Five points. Wait, that's the jump and jab. Sorry. And you said you are attacking the one that has bark, correct? Yes. So that does six points plus the gift of the chromatic dragon. Six points of piercing damage from the arrow. Oh, yeah. But I also have... What happens if the arrow goes through it? Gift of the chromatic dragon. Shut your face. 1d4. So that's going to be...

When you think about it, even if you're attacking like a big creature, like a humanoid, it's possible the arrow still goes through. So you still say as long as the arrow makes contact. Two additional points. So it was six points of piercing damage from your arrow and then two points of lightning damage from the Chromatic Dragon. Okay. Yeah. The Amnusia crackles with electric energy. It seems to recoil in pain a little bit. Oh, so something's working there. Uh,

It was super effective. You know, I landed that shot. Should I just try? Is the arrow still inside of it? Yeah, we'll say the arrow like went in and just kind of like it's floating next to Bart now.

What if he gets... Yeah, it's like right in front of your head. It was like going to hit you between the eyes, but it stopped at the last second. Just multi-attack it. Just go at it. I like to think it pierced near his stomach and he's sucking in his stomach to where it's just removed from the arrow. So are we all within 10 feet? What's the proximity of this thing? Yeah, they're all within 10 feet.

But so are we though? Yes. You guys want to be in the splash zone if I do a bursting arrow? No, stop. Why does everything you do have potential to hurt us? Because I need to free us of these evil monsters. No, just do lightning. It hurt it. You literally did something, saw that it was effective, and went, I want to try something else. All right, I try longbow triumph again. Are you taking the same one that has bard in it? Yeah, I'm going to try to plug it with arrows.

That's a 14 and a 22. So 14, that does hit. Oh, okay, great. Doing eight points of piercing damage plus a D4, doing one point of lightning. Okay, it seems to take a little bit of damage again. And Bart, you have another arrow pointed right at your stomach. You got two of them. So then in that case, it seems like based on his word choice, what I'm doing is it's only the lightning damage that's taking effect.

Probably. So if I burst it, I don't know where that comes into the equation. Go for it. Do it. It seems like you're going to do it either way. Well, that's technically the end of my attack unless I pulled out. Action surge. Nah, I'd leave it there. All right. I'll let the magic boys handle this. So do I not end up taking any damage? No. Okay.

Am I opening myself up to multiple attacks of opportunity if I try to get away from these guys? Yes, they are all within melee range. You would open yourself up to three attacks of opportunity. Three attacks of opportunity? Is it worth it? No. Do it, do it, do it, do it. I'm going to run away. No, no, no. I'm going to do several backflips out of this situation. Why are you adding checks to this? Make me three athletics checks. You got it. Wait, do I...

Wait, do you get to- what about your belt? Aw man, it's been a while since Kyborg's been a total idiot in an episode. Woooo! What about your belt? Are you- does your belt activate? You can't talk to him, you're on the other side of the- of the building. *laughing* 1, 18, and 11? But I'm gonna roll a lucky. You're using a lucky for a backflip roll? Yeah, I gotta get out of there. Oh wait, yeah. Okay. It was a 1, an 18, and an 11. What does that mean?

Not good. Okay, yeah, you, you know, unleash your electric arcane energy into one of the amnusias and decide to make a tactical repositioning in order to increase your odds of doing damage to them. So in order to do so, you do a tactical backflip, but you immediately do a backflip onto some thorns, which pierce your hands and cause you to crumple onto the ground. Prone. And all three amnusias seize on the opportunity to take a peck of opportunity on you. Ha ha ha ha ha!

If you love listening to the show, you really should take it to the next level. Follow us at StinkyDragonPod on Twitter and Instagram or join us on the StinkyDragon subreddit. There you can join in on ongoing delightful discussions about the show, including fan art, memes, polls, and more. Plus, if you tag us on social media using hashtag StinkyDragonPod or post on the subreddit, you could have an NPC named after you in an upcoming episode.

Would you like some examples of that? Mud's brother Clay Bramblecrack is named after At-Major Clay. Alfie the Purple-Furred Furbolg was named after At-Alfie Kearns 2. Maximus Pendle Gwynn the Snaggletooth Giant is named after At-The-Max Penguin. Sneko the Snuggly Allodile is named after At-It's-a-Chipmunk named after their gecko. Vat Bundlesby the Religious Frode named after At-Vat V. Ben. Torethor the Fast-Talking Terrashell is named after At-Torethor.

Also want to give a notable shout out to some folks that submitted magical items.

@thekasmacage submitted Waste of Space Cumberbund that Torthor the Terrashell bought at the auction @gifaruni submitted the Elixir of Undying Affection that GumGum bought Over on the subreddit, user Dneaves submitted drink ideas that the party drank on the Bramble Boat LadyBatman2 aka Christine R submitted the Boots of Kicking that Kyborg bought and he loves so much Serbean18 submitted the Cupcake of Hunger that GumGum bought

and Nerd Level 18 submitted Monstersphere that Mud bought. We want to also give a special thanks to some friends who provided voiceover for characters in the previous episode. Clay Bramblecrack is voiced by Alfredo Divas, Dr. Ahem is voiced by Micah Risinger, who's our very own writer, editor, composer, Sump is voiced by Brian Gar, and Bunko/Bezler is voiced by Christian Young. It's official! The first soundtrack album for Tales from the Stinky Dragon is now available for listening on all your favorite music streaming platforms,

This is all the music from the first story arc includes the Stinky Dragon Show theme song by Colmar McGuinness @niceviolinboy on Twitter and eight other tracks of music, themes, songs written by Micah Risinger including the folksy tune "His Name is Mud" We hope you all enjoy listening to the album, using it in your own D&D sessions, sharing it with your friends. Stay tuned for other soundtrack albums released in the future.

September has us extremely excited. That's making us feel extra generous. Rooster Teeth is offering our biggest discount ever on one year first memberships. We're dropping the price by $15, which means you can now have a year of firsts for $45. This is just in time to watch gems like Uno Infinite, Survive Block Island Meltdown, and the Ruby Ice Queendom dubbed episodes.

This great deal will also last through the celebration of our 20th anniversary in 2023, where we have lots of fun surprises planned. It's a limited time offer, so take advantage now. Go to roosterteeth.com/signup. Use code FIRST45, that's code FIRST and the number four and the number five, to sign up for one year of FIRST membership for a crazy low price. - Oh man.

I can't wait to tell people about how Kyborg died. I'm also so glad that your bottle was capped when you did that. Blaine laughing, he knocked his mic over. It hit his cup of iced coffee. And that's why I screamed, because I thought you were about to spill it all on yourself. That's similar from what Kyborg just did. Hey, if you die, you already avenged your family. I was going to say, my arc's over. You guys don't need me anymore. I'm so glad we were able to tell his mom about how he died. Does a 12 hit you? No. Okay, so only two of them hit you. Oh, no.

That was not as good of news as you were hoping. Wait, I am lucky though, so couldn't I roll to make them re-roll? Yes, you could make two of them, the two that did hit you, you could make them re-roll, but because you failed your athletics check, you're prone and they have advantage on the attack. No, no, no, no! Ha ha! Ha ha!

Hold! What is it? The lucky feat is even more cheaty than you thought because you have three luck points per long rest. Whenever you make an attack roll, an ability check, or a saving throw, or when an attack roll is made against you, you can spend one roll to roll an additional d20, and you choose which die to use. You choose. So if they rolled on advantage and I made them roll one more, I get to choose which one. Gotcha. Okay. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Oh my god. I rolled lucky! Reroll! I already have such a headache today from the pressure of the rain. Okay, so you want to make one of them or both of them reroll? Both of them. And then I want to know what their three rolls were each. So hold on, I need to...

Their first rolls had already hit, so I didn't roll their advantage. So I'm going to do that first. So the first one has a 12. I'm sorry. So that's a 17. The second one has a 13, which is an 18. Are they adding? That's their attack. Oh, I was rolling their, wait. Yes, their attack roll. You know, when you roll with your bow and you have a modifier, you add on to it. Yes, but what are their three initial rolls? Their three initial attack rolls. That's what I'm saying. 17, 18, and... Yeah, so one of them doesn't matter because it missed.

Okay, okay. So it's a 17 and a 12 for the first one. Okay, so he's gone. 12. No, no. They have advantage. So 17. Yeah, but I'm lucky. If he's lucky, he's choosing the 12. Oh, you can choose the die. That's what it says in the lucky feed. Oh, I see. Okay. Yes. And the second one was a 13 and a 10, which is an 18 and a 15.

I choose the 15. Does that not hit? No, it's because I'm an AC 16. So you can choose which die for both of them. Yes. Whoa, that's super. I mean, technically he could also roll another dice for each of them and choose that one if he wants, but he's already got choices on both of them that make it so they miss. So he doesn't even need to roll the dice. The lucky feat is for me to make them roll again and then

of the rolls that they've made. I get to choose which one. Okay then. All three miss. So all three of them miss despite the fact you're prone with a boo-boo in your hand because you're on the floor. I'm like face down on the ground going, oh, oh, oh, oh! I'm so cool! My plan worked exactly. You're so lucky!

Okay. We're going to get a lot of emails and comments about that. Also, by the way, did not get out of melee range because you failed that first athletics check. So you're still like five feet away from them. I think it's very poetic that Kaibork has the lucky feet because I think you're also the one that's gotten like close to death the most. Probably. It's all part of my strategy. He's very risky. Bart, you're up. Then after you is Mud. Is he? When he shoots from afar.

the status of everything now? There are three that are currently engaged attacking the party. There's one in the middle of town that Gum Gum had been attacking and then there's the one on the far end of town that Gum Gum teleported to and is currently attacking. And so is one still on me? You're still grappled by one, yes. Okay. Could I cast Dissonant Whispers? Well, you're currently grappled. Yeah. So you're unable to cast.

Any type of spell I can't cast? Yeah, what does grapple's restrictions cause? Because, like, is Dissonant Whispers a vocal command? It's spell only. It's verbal. So could I not speak? Yes, you would be able to cast without a check. Okay. In that case... Hey, pretty mama, let me whisper in your ear. I want to Dissonant Whisper this guy. The one that's...

I want to try to see what the ear might be on this creature, and then cast Dissonant Whispers on it. The one grappling on me. Just draw an ear on it with your finger. I'll cast Minor Illusion to make an ear and then whisper in it. Hey, pretty mama, let me whisper in your ear.

I'm serious. We just need a Bart album. But like, it's just like covers of all these really crude songs. Yeah. Okay. So it needs to make a wisdom saving throw and your spell save DC is 15. So it needs to make a DC 15 wisdom saving throw. Sure does. And I am casting this at the fourth level. Okay. Actually, I'll do it.

It's wisdom modifier is -1, so it needs a 16 or better. - Okay. - I want a rendition of WAP. - Two. - By bark. - All right, so I'm gonna guess that does not hit. - No, no, it fails, it's safe. - Okay. - So yeah, the Dissonant Whispers takes full effect. So roll your psychic damage. - Yeah, and I'm gonna do it at the third level. That'll be 5d6, and that is a 18. - Damage? - 18 damage.

How much damage these little... We're befuddling Gus today. Now I have a lot of things I'm double checking. I'm also curious because this is psychic damage, so I don't know. Do they got brains? I mean, you can't see them. So what do you whisper into its ear? Hey, little mama, let me whisper in your ear. I got something that they like to hear. Yeah, I forgot the rest of the lyrics. Gotta see somebody in your ears and like so.

The amnusia begins writhing around in pain at the awful things you're whispering into its ear. And you see it transforming itself into like different members of your party. Oh, oh. For a brief second, it looks like Mud. It looks like Kyborg. Then it turns into a yellowish, semi-transparent version of Bart. Does it actually like look exactly like the party members? Exactly like you, except kind of semi-transparent and ooze-like and smells bad. It smells like...

cabbage and eggs. Then it turns into Bart, then explodes into thousands of tiny little oozy pieces. That's messy. Do these pieces seem to still be like moving at all? Or is this just like, it's inert? No, it's, it falls into the water and does not seem to pop back out. Okay.

Telling me if I do my bursting arrow. Bart is like covered in probably little pieces of this thing. Oh, yeah. Wipes it from underneath his eyes and goes. Like. Yuck. Drax. That's the beginning of Guardian of the Galaxy 2. Yeah. Anything else you can do, Bart? And then. You're free now. I am free now. Isn't throwing performance a bonus? So you would need to perform for one minute. So that is not a bonus? No. So that would take 10 rounds. Okay. Okay.

I can drag it out for 10 rounds. I got you. Well, I'm going to do as a bonus action my bardic inspiration towards kyborg.

The real contributor to this fight. Yeah, so you will get an extra 1d10. Just so you guys know what I look like, I'm going to show you. Take a picture of this for our social. Are you acknowledging my d10? Thank you for the d10. I'm going to need that d10. What's he doing? He's face down, like in the T posing. He's planking on the floor. But with his arms outstretched. That's what Kyborg's doing in the mud right now. What do you say to inspire Kyborg? I say, your butt looks great, Kyborg.

That's America's butt. That's Herwitcher's butt. He gives you a little thumbs up. Have you been squatting? All right, is that it for you, Bart? Yeah. All right, Mud, you're up. Then after Mud, back to the top with Gum Gum. All right, so there's two that are on top of Kyborg? Correct, because one of them exploded. I cast Wither and Bloom on those two amnesias.

Wither in bloom. Wither in bloom. Ten foot radius sphere centered on a point within range. Each creature of your choice in that area must make a constitution saving throw taking necrotic damage if they fail on a failed save or if they get half damage on a successful one. You're not damaged at all, are you, Carbork? Not at all.

health point. I'm 100% great. Oh, Bart is? How far is Bart from the pile of kyborg? Bart's in the middle of it all because all three of the amnesias were all... Alright, then I'll do it centered on all of them. Bart, on the other hand, gets to roll 4d6 of healing damage. Healing? Not damage, healing. Yeah. Healing. 4d6. Oh wait, no, that's not how it works. Do you have hit dice still? Yeah.

I believe so. Because we rested? Yeah, you all long rested. You can roll hit dice to regain HP. You can roll up to four of them if you wanted. What are my... Wow. Yours is a D8, I believe. It's what you roll for HP every time you level. Okay. So I could roll up to four of those? Yeah. For just healing, depending on how much you're hurt. I guess I'll just do two.

Two of them? Does it matter if I do all four? Then you wouldn't be able to use them in a short rest to regain health until you do a long rest to reset them all. Gotcha. I'll just do two d8s. Go for it. And these other two need to make a save. Constitution 17. Constitution 17. Thank you. Nice, I got 12 back. Yay, I healed and I'm gonna hurt. Constitution is plus two, so I need a 15 or better. Oh, they both fail. Nice.

Taking 15 points of necrotic damage. 15 points of necrotic damage each. Yeah, both of the remaining amnusias writhe around in agony near the party. Kind of looks like they're dancing. Oh, dude. What else you got, Mud? Oh, actually, it's with the healing you get to roll your hit dice plus your spellcasting modifier. So you could have taken even more healing, Bart, if you needed it. I'm okay.

Cool. I now only have... I'm 80 out of 85. Well, you could probably add whatever... I bet your spellcasting modifier is at least 5, so you could probably be at full health. Might as well. Might as well. Your spellcasting modifier is plus 3 for Bart. Oh, okay, so 3. That would be it.

For Mud, who is going to start walking... How far to the one that Gum-Gum originally fought? The one that he originally fought is kind of in the middle of the village. So from where you are, it's a 70 feet or so, maybe? Okay, what's mine? If you begin walking in that direction, you will provoke.

uh attacks of opportunity from the amnusias that are still near you oh i'm that close to them oh okay you'll have because they're kind of between you and the rest of the village so you will have to walk pretty much right between them and right by them to get i can't go around them at all because again you're like on these narrow it's not like wide open terrain you're on these kind of very funneled uh walkways kind of like piers out over the water okay

Then that's it for Mud. Okay. Now we are at Gum Gum, then they're gonna all act, and then after them is Kaipour. Gum Gum, you're up. Okay, so I teleported to the far side away from, like, on the opposite side. Correct.

Okay. How far away is the group of everyone fighting? About 150 feet. 150 feet. Okay. I'm going to use my Rainbringer staff. Oh, real fast. So the party's about 150 feet away, but there is that one you were originally fighting who was by himself in the middle, about, say, 70, 80 feet away. Okay. Use the Longbow of Gum-Gum. So I'm... And I'm on the far side of the one that's got his brother, Clay. Yeah, that's how you want it, right? Yeah. And so I'm going to...

with my Rainbringer staff, use that cast Thunder Wave. Smart. And push that one towards the center of everyone else. Hopefully. Is she more enemy than us? I will summon lightning. Technically thunder. Thunder. So it's like it creates a wave of force and the creatures in front of you, which is in a 15-foot cube, so it's only this Amnesia with Clay needs to make a conscious saving throw. If

If it fails, it takes thunder damage and is pushed 10 feet away from you. Yeah. If it saves successfully, it takes half damage and is not pushed. So what's the save? The save. I know it's a little weird for you because you're not... Yeah. It doesn't have it readily written on your... Constitution 12. Okay. It has a plus two to constitution, so it needs a 10 or better. Oh, two. So no, it fails. Yay. All right. So then that will do 2d8. 2d8 thunder damage. So that's 13.

Thunder damage! Yay, yay. Okay, 13 points. Okay, and it gets pushed 10 feet away, right? Yeah, towards the center of everyone else. Okay, yeah, it seems like the Amnusia, I keep wanting to call him Flumes, I hate you, Chris, gets pushed 10 feet further down on a bridge across, closer into the center of town. And then I, with my offhand bonus attack, I'll grab my Javelin of Lightning and throw it towards that one that was 70 feet away. Oh, wow. Okay. Where did you get a Javelin of Lightning? I've had it.

I don't remember you getting that. I think it was in one of our cave thingies with those random chests. No, no, it was, I bought it whenever, no, it was a gift whenever we got the gift after beating the Walrus Village area. New Valros? Yeah. They're very sensitive about what they're called. The Walrus Village. Close. I've basically forgotten almost every single time we get items or we go shopping to add them to my inventory. So I'm embarrassed to say that I don't think I probably have half my items.

my items in my inventory. So if anybody's like, why hasn't John used that thing? It's like, it's probably not even in here. Like if anybody has a good, if anybody wants a project on the subreddit and wants to tell me what items I should have, man, I'd be so happy. Has anyone been taking thorough notes while listening to this podcast? So I'm going to throw out that one, which should hit the other one or lightning.

should be in its path because they're within five feet. So you hurl it and it transforms into a bolt of lightning forming a line five feet wide that extends from you to the target and each creature in the line excluding you and the target makes a dexterity saving throw and takes lightning damage. So you're throwing it to try to get the one closest to you hit by the lightning damage. Is that correct? And I assumed I couldn't reach all the way to the far one. Correct. The range is 120 feet and they are further away. Yeah. So I'm hitting that middle one. Gotcha.

So first let's deal with that. So make your attack roll against the one that's in the middle. - Okay, so I'm gonna roll a d20. That's a 25. - 25, so yeah. So that's just to verify. You throw the javelin, it does hit. What does that do? Does it do just normal javelin damage? - It does that plus, so it does eight.

plus my rage, which is 11, plus the lightning thing. - Okay, so yeah, it takes damage from the javelin, plus 4d6 lightning, which is the same as the other one. Okay, so your javelin damage was eight plus three, 11. Is that correct? - Yeah, 11. - Okay, so 11 points of piercing damage on the one in the middle. Now roll your 4d6 lightning damage for the one that got hit with the javelin and the one that's holding clay.

Yeah. That's 13. 13 points of lightning damage. The one in the middle of the village seems frozen in place and getting electrocuted. The one closest to you sees the lightning bolt coming and with seemingly superhuman reflexes dodges out of the way and takes half that damage, correct? Yeah. So it would just take, I guess, six or seven. Yeah. It gets a little sizzled, but it is still up and it is still holding onto clay.

Remember the episode of Pokemon where Ash is fighting someone in a gym and they throw out like a Bellsprout. He's like, what's this Bellsprout going to do? But that Bellsprout just ends up being like the master thing at dodging stuff and it just fires out the Pokemon. Exactly what I just had in my head when this little thing dodged your little thing. Sorry, that was a long story. Hi, everybody. Welcome to Stinky Dragon. What else you got? That's it. That's it? Okay. Okay.

Don't you have a power that you can... He's on the other side of the village. You can't talk to him. I can't teleport because I use my bonus action to throw my javelin. You're also face down in the mud. Face down in the mud or on the mud? Okay, it's their turn. Let's see.

see there's two of them by the party do your worst one of them in the middle and one of them by gum gum we'll deal with the two by the party first yeah they're gonna take attacks on kyborg because he's like face down you mean the the aggressor that's just lying on the floor in front of them they're gonna go for him the first one has advantage is

It rolls a 15 and a 2. They're just attacking your butt. Oh, are you? Well, I'm lucky. That's like your last one, isn't it? Yes. Okay. So that's a 2 which misses. Our first battle of the entire day. The second one also attacks with an 8 and 11, which is a 13 and a 16. He matched my AC. So that hits. Ah!

Okay, so that one does hit. I was imagining me just like moving my body like a couple of inches here and there to just miss these attacks. And that does nine points of bludgeoning damage. I will take your nine points. You will also make a strength saving throw. About to be grappled. You also have that plus 10. Or the D10 rather, sorry. That's on rolls he does. All right, so I'm doing it. I think he could do it for a saving throw though. Yeah, that would be a roll. Strength saving throw. That's a 13 plus bludgeoning.

What was it, D10? D10. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you want to use it. I do want to use it. I'd use it on the 13th. Yeah. Plus 921. It tries to wrap itself around you and grapple you, but you manage to evade. You roll around on the ground. No, no, no. It reaches for me, and I clasp my butt cheeks, and I have hate scrapped hands.

He's getting credit carded by Amnesia. Thank you, Bart. You got it. Let's see. We'll deal with the one that Gum Gum has. The one by Gum Gum, I should say. I don't know why. I can't stop picturing these as just giant floating jellyfish.

That's more like the flump. See, you've got flump in your mind too. What did these actually look like? Like, just like gelatinous slimes. Right, exactly. No features or anything? I'm thinking about the dirty bubble from Spongebob. I'm thinking like, if you took a Jell-O snack pack and flipped it upside down.

Just to be clear, they are like a yellow slime and they also smell really bad. We should try to remember too that these things could morph into us and probably other people and creatures. So we need to be weary. The one by Gum Gum is going to get back up in his face and attack him.

That hits AC 18. It does 12 points of bludgeoning damage on you, Gum-Gum, but you're raging, so you take six. Okay. From the party's perspective, you all see Gum-Gum run up to you guys and rejoin the party. Oh, that's weird. Oh, that's good. Uh,

Whenever that one hits me, can I use my unstable backlash and activate my rage thing on it? Sure. It's a one. Shadowy tendrils lash around you. Each creature of your choice, you can see within 30 feet of you, must succeed on constitution saving throw or take 1d12 necrotic.

I also gain 1d12 temporary hit points. So how many of them are within that range? There's just one. There's just the one that's holding clay. Okay. I'm going to roll. Roll your 1d12 necrotic damage. 10. All right. And then you also get... Roll your temp HP. 1d12 plus your barbarian level in temp HP. Should I reroll it or just use that 10? It looks like a reroll. Okay. It doesn't say you gain that. Yeah. Oh, 12. Plus 10, 22. 22 temp HP? Yeah.

So the necrotic tendrils lash out, slicing up the amnesia that's holding clay. And it falls to pieces back into the marsh below, dumping clay onto the pier in front of you. Cool. And then from the party's perspective, like I said, you see Gum-Gum run back towards you guys from the village. He says, hey guys.

Gum Gum? You look a little different. No, I don't. Gumbo is squirming in my arms and doesn't like the smell of Gum Gum. All right. That's their turn. Kyborg, you're up. Oh, already? Okay. So we've got... Then after Kyborg's part. We've got Gum Gum, quotation marks, that just appeared. And then what else do we have in our area? Two of the Amnusius. Okay. What's the action of me getting out of the ground? What does that look like?

We'll say as a bonus action, you can just stand up. I stand up. I rise from the mud. Ben just pointed out that these creatures have a higher intelligence than Gum-Gum. Wait, what's your intelligence? Four. So bad. Wow. I'm smart, Gum-Gum. So... Two plus two is four. Whoa!

Hey, you learned something new. You kill it. It's not him. It's unnatural. All right. I shoot whichever one is closest to me. I shoot the one that actually landed a hit on the last one. Okay. That's this one right here. Okay. You make your attack roll at it. With disadvantage. I was about to say with disadvantage. I got you. I got you. Here we go. 19. That hits. All right.

And then I do seven points of damage plus a defense. Seven points of piercing damage? Correct. I'm so sorry. And then I do one point of lightning damage from Gifts of the Chronic Dragon. It does not seem happy about that lightning damage at all. Okay. But it is still standing. It reminded me again, how far is he from like everything else? I know I'm within 10 feet.

He didn't mention the piercing damage. Yeah. He's probably saying it probably didn't do anything. Yeah. How far away is what? Like, how far away is Bart and Mud? They're right next to you. Can I just explode them, guys? Please? It's only a little bit of force damage. I've answered this question three times now. I will not be answering it again. So, how many NPCs are around?

Revenge of the DM. Oh, you know what? Actually, because I used my bonus action to stand up, I'm going to shoot at him again. Just another attack. Okay. Because I have a second attack. So shoot my longbow triumph. And the same one. E-ace at disadvantage. Ooh, 13. That does not hit. Farts. I also don't know if it would have mattered if it's an arrow. I have lucky feet. Oh, wait. No, no, no, no. Not anymore. Uh.

Um, okay. Well, so I missed that shot. Hey man, you missed the shot if you don't take it. Well, heck, I guess I got it. Um,

Uh, I'm taking an extra roll. Sorry, sorry, Bart, I cut you off. I'm in it. Uh, I shoot at that one again. This is the verbal version of just slamming a door in someone's face. 20. That hits. 12 points of piercing damage. This is doing nothing. Four points of lightning damage. It sizzles a little bit, and you see a little bit of smoke coming off the top of the amnesia. That's because that's a bursting arrow! Kaboom!

2d6 force damage for everyone that's 10 feet around me in this or this thing do it kaboom five points five points of force damage let me in uh mud take it and myself that's right i am with you you just exploded yourself the one that you had been hitting that you just sizzled uh the force like blows it apart splash zone oh gum gum hurt oh fake gum gum

Why do you call fake Gum-Gum? That one's still alive? Yeah. Okay. Well, then now I... Well, I would aim at that one, but I think he's further away. I'm going to shoot at the other one now because I have one final attack because of Action Surge. Action Surge. Okay. I shoot my long-goat triumphant him. Not Gum-Gum, but the other one. The other one. Because you would never shoot your friend Gum-Gum. Uh.

I'll shoot that one in a second. 28 and 17, so 17. That hits. Doing... Ah, yes. That many points of piercing damage. Six points of piercing damage? Yes. But more importantly, two points of lightning damage. Oh, perfect. It fizzles and falls apart. Haha!

Love when a plan comes together. I love it when a plan comes together. Hey guys, we killed them all. We won. Alright! Yay. We saved Clay, guys. Yay! Yay! Let's get back on the boat. Okay. Yeah, let's get out of here. Wait, why does it want to get on the boat? Why does it want to get on the boat? Where does it want to go? Wait, why is it... You're not there. Oh.

Uh, let's get out of here. Guys, I think I'm with GumGum on this one. Why are we still in attack order? What's going on here? Bart, it's your turn. Okay.

Do I know this is a fake gum gum? It smells worse than gum gum normally smells. Like, could I see that it's slightly transparent? Yeah, it's also semi-transparent. You saw the one. I saw it, yeah. You had a close look at the one that was going through a bunch of different people. Really quick. Is he a melee attack of me? Fake gum gum? Yes. Okay. I was going to move, but if it's... You're all like bunched up still. Go ahead. Sorry, Bart. It's all good. It's important information to know. Yeah.

I could draw him out by moving. I hate to do the same thing twice, but I'm just, could I cast Dissonant Whispers again? Yeah, if it works, do it. Yeah, I'm going to, I'll do that again. At Gum Gum, but I know it's big. You're trying to imposter my best friend. And for that, you shall pay. Yeah, Bart would really know. Yeah. So I need to make a wisdom save, DC 15. My wisdom save is minus one. So I need a 16 or better. That's a three. So no. Okay.

All right, I will do damage on you. That is a 24. You are my friend, Bart. And fake gum gum explodes into yellowish ooze. Real friends don't try to stick on me.

Ah, no notes. Bart's still covered in the slime and he's really, it's affecting his charisma and his ability to think just because he needs a shower real bad. What if that was real gum gum? It just explodes. Gum gum always smells great, so I knew this was the fake one. Real gum gum does not like cabbage. Right. He's a carnivore. Is it all gone? Yeah, they're all gone. Grab a

Clay and take him to the party? Yeah. Found your brother. Clay's ruddy fur appears paler and his caramel eyes look dilated as they stare fixedly out into space. Some of his color starts to come back into his fur and his eyes flutter for a moment. What? What happened? Where am I? We're at the bayou. Well, we had a mighty battle and everything went according to my plan.

A battle with who? What were those things called? Oh, it's they're called amnesias. Oh. Big gooey things. Amnesias. Yeah, there's five amnesias that attacked us and one got a good hold of you. I've taken to calling them bubble butts though. Yeah. Do you know what these are? Amnesias? Yeah. They are bad. They started appearing and...

I think we lost him. How about I try a cheeky little... Slap to the face. No. Where'd this spell go? Did I get rid of it? I think I got tired of not healing you guys, so I got rid of all my healing spells. I have some healing spells. Want to try a little something something? Yeah. See if we can fix that noggin? Can I cast Cure Wounds? Yeah. On

Sure. Do you need to roll like healing on that? That would be 12 points of healing. Oh, thank you. I feel really strong, full of vigor. Bart then gives him a little gentle slap across the face and go, all right, tell us what you know, Clay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, where were we going? What were we doing? We were fighting jellies. Amnesias. Bubble butts. Oh,

But what should we have been doing? Are we supposed to go somewhere? Oh, God. Oh, no. How do we bring him back? Does anybody else have any spells for fixing memory or anything? I could jump really high. Okay. Uh...

Clay, is there a local doctor? Because I feel like guys, they've encountered these before because everybody went running. So they might have developed some sort of cure for him. I'm not bubble butts. Anujas. Anujas. I'm sorry. I'm forgetting. It's like amnesia, but new. Yeah, I know. It's their attack. It's affecting me even. I think we should see if we have a, if there's like a local doctor. Clay, is there like a local doctor? Doctor? Oh, okay.

Maybe at my house. I think someone can help me there. Let's go to your house. Let's go to your house. I think that might have been what we were supposed to be doing in the first place. You know how to get to your house, buddy. It's on the other end of town, out east at the Bramble Castle. Have you been there, Mud? Yes, the castle. Yes. So you should be able to take us there too. Yeah. I'll totally guide us. I'll spin in a circle until he tells, until... No, stop it.

Okay. You all make your way east along a wood plank path, all the while your view is filled with a towering citadel of spires, built upon what looks to be several foundations of earth, rock, and vines. Eventually you reach the bottom of the earthen foundation, and from here it looks like the citadel is several hundred feet above you, sitting atop this massive hill of brambles and soil. You don't spot any stairs or trails leading up to the citadel. All you see is a mural etched into the thorny soil before you, and it appears to be rows and rows of faces.

A mural of faces? Yeah. Everyone go ahead and roll a perception check. Okay. Also, did the town come out and hail us as heroes? They were all hiding and watching you guys from slightly opened windows. I rolled a 16. I rolled a 6. I only rolled a 10. What did I roll? A 4? I part. Gum Gum and Kyborg, you get a little too close to the brambles and both of you prick your nose on thorns. Oh. Sweet. You got little nosebleeds going on. Taking 80 points of damage. Would you say the bramble cracked the skin? Ooh.

Mud. He didn't even acknowledge it. Yeah, but Micah gave me finger guns, so that's all that matters. Yeah.

Micah. Micah. Oh, golly. Mud. You're looking and it seems like the faces appear to be that of furbolgs. Many, many furry-faced furbolgs. And all the brambles seem to connect all of the faces. Bart, something about your bardic background gives you a little more insight. You study the faces a bit further in spot two that look familiar, like mud and clay. Huh. Is it like a family tree? Maybe. Got it.

Can we see if there's any other faces? No, that's about it. Okay. You already rolled a perception check. Bart points to it and goes, hey, Mud, when was that etched into there? That looks really nice. It doesn't look like you at all anymore. Oh, time has not been kind to you, huh? Is Mud's little statue face, is his mouth open? It's etched. Yeah, is his little mouth open? Sure, why not? Okay. I stick my hand in and go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Yeah, you prick yourself on the thorns. You take one point of damage. It's my metal arm. Oh, okay, okay. No, I'll take the damage. I'll take it. So wait, so we're looking at the Citadel. There's no path up to the Citadel, but we're staring at this mural that's etched into the ground, into a wall. It's like a big dirt wall covered in brambles. Big dirt wall covered in brambles with a bunch of faces etched into it. At least your two faces that we could see.

There's many faces, but Bart recognizes mud and clay. Okay. Do you think that we need to press these in an order? Clay, is there any chance you know what this wall is here for or if there's a way to get past it to get up Citadel? Clay scratches his head and says, This seems familiar. I think I've been here before. You have been. This is the way to your house. Oh, do I live up here? Yes, you do. It looks nice. Oh, this is... I love this game.

So you don't recall... Is this our family? Is this our family mural or something? Did you have to Photoshop me in because I wasn't there? He seems a little distracted. He's staring at the blood on Kyborg's finger. It's a boo-boo! He takes a step back. Okay.

Keep that away from me. They both have amnesia. Blood? Does he not like blood? I stick my finger up at him and go, there. Oh, no. He turns around and vomits. Could I cast... Do you not like fingers or blood? What's the... What's the thing here?

Hey, it's helpful to know everyone's triggers, you know. I can't stand the sight of blood. Okay. Noted. So it's all covered in brambles? Yes. Can I cast Gust and try to blow a lot of the brambles away? Yeah. And can I cast Gust? Ooh. You seize the air and compel to create one of the following effects. Harmless sensory effect, or I can create a small blast of air capable of moving one object that is neither held nor carried. Wait.

Weighs no more than five pounds. The object is pushed 10 feet away from you. It ain't, it isn't pushed with enough force to cause damage, but it's a cantrip. So I could just keep casting a bunch of gust. Yeah. Uh, you cast this thing and, uh, the brambles all move in the wind, but they seem to be like they're planted into the dirt wall. Like they're not just ancillary. They're part of the wall. They can't be blown away off of it. What if I start a fire? What if you just hack it away with your sword? All right. I,

I bring out my... Everybody here who's got Sharpie weapons can do a little bit of some trimming. This is all like a beautiful mural. Wait, but then like, I guess I'm just not understanding what the brambles are. Are they look like they're overgrown or they are incorporated into the art? Incorporated into the mural. That I didn't get. I thought they were covering art. No, no, no. They're all in the dirt wall, a part of it.

particular the order of the faces it's like how many are there and what there's many many faces you don't know any of them other than you recognize clay and mud does mud recognize it

Like if this is potentially his family, wouldn't he be able to recognize? You would think. Make a history check, Mud. Don't worry, guys. I'm a plus four in history. 19. Yeah, you recognize some faces. Now that, you know, Bart pointed out that your face and Clay's face are on there. You do recognize some of the faces. You recognize Lord Lomish, Lady Sandra and other family members.

I go up and touch my face. -All right, you reach out with your hand and touch your face, and the brambles prick at your finger, causing you to bleed a little bit. As that happens, the brambles crackle as they recoil, and an embankment of soil crumbles to the ground, revealing a pitch black puddle. -Cool. -Whoa. -I didn't do it when I did that. Blood door. -It needed a blood sacrifice from the owner of the face. -It needed some good blood.

I'm not pure. You're calling me a mudblood? No, I'm saying... You call me a mudblood, you racist? No, I would say he's a mudblood. That's pretty good. That's too clever for Gum Gum. Yeah. No, it's simple enough. Oh, we killed the wrong one! We killed the wrong one! The challenge is too hard! Kill it! Bart goes,

Bart goes up and sniffs gum gum. All right, he still smells good. Okay. He's good. Let's go in that hole. Yeah, nothing bad could ever happen. As you enter, the soil and thorns behind you take shape once again, forming a wall with another crack, leaving you in sheer darkness. Dark vision. A few seconds later, a bright light shines across your faces, blurring your vision for a moment. Ah!

It's like a flashbang going off. Your eyes adjust to the radiance to reveal a palatial hall with loamy soil floors beneath your feet and vine-colored tree branches sprawling along the ceilings. The room is furnished with mossy rugs, firefly-filled chandeliers, and a central pristine pond topped with glowing lily pads.

As you look around the room, you spot a panoramic window with a view of the whole of Witherveins. Babayu, Morbane, and Crokemeyer far below you all. A familiar gray furred furball is meticulously cleaning the window. You recognize Sump from the Bramble ship.

Welcome home, Prince Mud and Master Clay. So good to see you and your eccentric friends once again. Can I take any coats, cloaks, or armor? How about a beverage or a light snack? I'll take all the above. All right. I'll take a nice Americano. Wait, is this Bart just disrobes everything? Yeah. Bart gets down to his skivvies and just hands it all out? Yep, and then opens his mouth ready to eat. Just a baby. Splendid.

I'll take a snacky. Snacky and a drinky. Two snackies and two drinkies. Ba-ba-womp-ba-ba. Also, do you have a medic? Yeah, I think Clay might need some care. Oh, perhaps.

Perhaps you would all like to sit down in the parlor and unwind while I bring you some food and drink. Yeah, really quick before you do that, what can you tell us about those big yellow goo creatures? They're called amnesias. Amnesias. Well, I don't know if you would know that or not. I know. What's an amnesia? Do they plague you guys' town a lot? I believe the NPCs had exclaimed they were amnesias, so I think you would know it. Oh, okay, okay. Oh, yes, dreadful creatures. Seems they have been coming around a lot more lately. Oh.

Well, Clay got hit with an amnesia, so he's a little loopy right now.

Oh, Master Clay, have a seat. All of you sit. I'll bring food and drink shortly. Bart hops on one of the chairs and he lets his little feet dangle. He is holding your clothes, Bart. Would you care for these to be laundered? Yes, please. And if you could use a dryer sheet, that'd be appreciated. They get really staticky. All right. I sit down and I'm still holding Clay, so he sits down in my lap. Okay. Is he like a puppet? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- If y'all want, you can toggle a short rest here. - Oh, nice. - Hey. All right, so let's clarify. Our short rests, how long are they?

We'll say about an hour. An hour. Sump comes back out with food and drink. He has a special drink for you, Mud. He's got some dirt coffee and salt lick sandwiches for you. Nothing special about that. That's just normal coffee. Yeah. He knows that you like it and brings snacks and drinks for everyone. Then, you know, after about an hour, your clothes come back. Seems very, very quick, Bart. And they are in pristine shape. How do they smell? Not like cabbage. They smell like peat. Peat? Yeah, like fresh dirt after a rain.

And they're all nice and warm, right? Because they just came out of the dryer. Oh, yeah. Nice, real super warm. Best feeling ever. As Sump is bringing back your clothing, Clay kind of sits up a bit in Gum-Gum's lap and looks at Sump. Sump, where is mother and father? Oh, of course. How silly of me. You'd be wanting to see them straight away. Just up the stairs. Lady Sandra is with your father in the chambers. She hasn't left his side for one moment.

What's wrong with him? Oh yeah, he's dying. Yeah, he's dying. That's why we're here. That's gotta be Ian Bart character. Sorry that amnesia. Did get grappled. I did get grappled. Yeah. Yeah, I guess we all would just head up.

Yeah. You all climb a spiraling stack of soil stairs for what seems like several minutes until you reach a landing platform with three sets of large doors made of willow wood. They're each uniquely monogrammed with brambles. To the left reads CB, to the right is MB, and in the center a pair of doors labeled SB and LB. Clay reaches for the central doors and turns to Mud. Are you ready, big brother? Uh, sure. Wait, is he still- am I still carrying him? No, you all walked up. At this point, he stood up. He's feeling a bit better. Right before the doors open, I hand Mud a tissue.

The doors swing wide and inside you find a freckled female firbolg with peach fur sitting next to a king-sized bed, blanketed with silky green sheets. She turns to face you with tear-filled turquoise eyes. Mud, you... you came back? Lady Sandra stands, rushes over, and throws her arms around you. Oh my boy, my fearless firbolg bo...

What have you done with your hair? It's not a phase. Well, it's actually quite fetching. I'm not sure what your father- Her head drops and turns to the bed. Buried beneath the silky green sheets, you see a husky furball with faded chestnut fur. His eyes are wide open with a blank expression across his face.

You can talk to him. Soos seems to think your father can still hear us. Is our doctor named Soos? You recalled that name. Oh, no. We can't do that. He's a bad man. It's spelled differently. Okay. S-U-S-E. Do I see the doctor in the room? No. Can I introduce myself to Lady Sandra? Sure. Okay. Oh!

Oh, are these your eccentric friends I've heard about? Wait there, we keep calling you guys eccentric. Eccentric is right. What does that mean? Bart straightens a bow tie that he's not wearing. I bow before Lady Sandrine and say, you've raised a good boy. Mud's a great friend of ours and a hero in many lands. You should be proud of him.

We've always been proud of our oldest boy, Mud. She turns her attention back to Mud. Surely you remember Soos? It hasn't been that long, has it? You used to follow her all around Bramble Castle. Never left her side, it seems. She taught you everything you know about the natural world and druidic arts, much to your father's chagrin. Is any of this ringing a bell? Question. Metagaming here.

Are the brother, mother, and father character of Mud all gonna have Scottish accents? It depends on if we get some VO people to try them. Either that or Mud's been lying to us this whole time. You've been faking an accent? Like a weird college kid that just got away from his parents? I just didn't like how I sound like from the bayou. Oh, no!

He wanted to seem more mysterious and eccentric. He's not French Cajun. He's a Scottish Cajun. You hear a voice from behind you ask, Good.

Does this jog your memory? And suddenly, grassy vines and weeds burst from the ground, wrapping all around the furniture in the room. Then a frosty shard of ice whizzes past your head, shattering into a nearby wall in a thousand pieces, and you hear a faint wisp flutter behind you. A shroud of mist dissipates to reveal a dainty, wrinkled, shrimp-like humanoid in flaxen-colored robes standing at your waist. She slaps your butt. Well, aren't you gonna slap your mentor's butt back?

There's a dude with a coma right there. What are you doing? Whoa, what was that? I guess this is Dr. Seuss. Shaman Seuss. Shaman Seuss. You remember. There it is. Shaman? I think it's Shaman. Shaman Seuss. I slap that back.

find out what that butt slap means in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I slapped Gum Gum's butt. I'm in the spirit. I don't care that the episode's ended. I slapped his butt. Yeah! Yeah! I slapped back. Alright. I present my butt to Bart. Bart, your turn. Slap my butt. Uh, Bart just looks at it and admires it instead. Ha ha ha ha.

I tuck my butt away. I am uncomfortable. Yeah, that's everyone's butt. All right, well, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.