C01 - Ep. 52 - Paralyte's Poison - End of An Internship
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Long time no see, my Demi-Liches. How long into the Stinky Dragon imbibe our latest beb, Satisfactory Phylactery? It's a mixture of leech peach schnapps, cursed cream liqueur, and a few dashes of granadrain. One drop of this lifeless libation is more satiating to the skull than slaying seven mortal souls. Previously, our adventurers rescued Gum-Gum from an abysmal fate

made a new rocky relationship that led them to the place of shiny nonos. There they egressed through an emersed gateway to uncover Paralite's underwater lair, where they became trapped with a few familiar friends.

But they manage to free themselves, fight underwater Evergards, and foil a force shield. Now only one thing stands between them and Paralyte: an army of Evergards. Can the party prevail over Paralyte's parade of pawns, or is this the end of the inordinate Infinite Internship? Relax your restless skulls and let's see how this story unfolds.

Is this unbeknownst to us the finale of Stinky Dragon? It's a happy total party kill episode, everyone. We're here to revel in Paralite's victory over the Infinites. We're here. We're ready. Get used to it. Is her hand still injured? Did I do lasting damage? She had a glove on. Rolling perception. Oh, she got Luke Skywalker'd. Like that was called out specifically. I heard that. Well, she always wears the gloves because the gloves are like her...

That's how she gets her powers. That's the item that she took. I planned to chop off her hands. With your bow and arrow? Like Michael Jackson in Captain EO. No, he has a sword. Remember? He used it once. Yeah. Only for special, special reasons. Yeah, but when you used it, you loved it. Yeah, but also it was whenever you realized he was using a shield the whole time. Oh, right. Using a bow and arrow. Listen, if it's on my back, it means it's active. Does anyone have a sword or a knife that they've never used in this game yet? I have hand axes that I've only used as items.

Yeah, I might have like a hand axe or a javelin or something. Because I want this to be like Pirates of the Caribbean where Jack Sparrow has that gun with one bullet in it that he's saving for Captain Barbossa. And it's like someone's saving their knife for Paralite's hand and will not use it on anything else. That's what I want. I have a dart.

That'd be pretty anticlimactic. Gum-Gum has a very special flower he's saving up for her. Do you want to share what kind of flower it is? He's got to Google it first. No, I'm thinking. Is it the one that eats people? No, that's not big enough for her. I'll think on that. A little shop of horror style? Feed me, Gum-Gum. The whole host of Evergards roars with shouts of acclaim and the pounding of armor. You feel the atrium itself vibrating from the deafening clamor.

Paralyte holds up a gloved hand pointing in your direction. Evergards, it's time to end the Infinite interns once and for all. Attack! A horde of Evergards starts charging straight toward you. Suddenly, a surge of water fires out into the crowd, knocking a platoon of Evergards to the ground. Smash! You see Bray standing at the bottom of one of the stairwells, pressing a glyph on the ground. On either side of her, two portals are gushing water into the lower level of the Immersium.

The other Shearerays rush to surround Bray, protecting her from the onslaught of Evergards. She looks to you all, points to the other three stairwells with glyphs, and yells over the rushing water, "Flood the Immersium!" Okay. If you remember- I'm so spitting.

The Immersium is just like a big circular area. You all were kind of on a walkway on the upper level and there were four little alcoves at the top. And then there were stairways from each alcove going down to the floor below. Yeah, where there was like portals. Yeah. In fact, there's 24 portals on the bottom floor of the Immersium. You can see through them. It's like they're all opening up to various...

areas in Faiza. And the stairs that I mentioned that go down from the alcoves, they're all about from where you are, it's about 20 feet down to the floor of the Immersion. You knew we were going to ask, didn't you? It's important to set the stage to head off these kinds of questions. So there's the floor is where all the portals are and where all the guards are. Correct.

And we're up in one of the alcoves. The only way to then get to another... So Bray is at another alcove? Yeah, if you remember when you all came into the Immersium, you all went to the left and Bray went to the right. Bray and the Shear Race took care of the alcove to the east. You all took care of the alcove to the west. So you see Bray has finished with her alcove and has come down to the lower floor. Okay, so objective is get to the other two alcoves.

What Bray is telling you is you can see Bray on the floor pressing one of the glyphs. Oh, there's floors on the glyph down in the... The glyphs are on the floor. Down in the... Down on the floor. Bray's saying, ladies and gentlemen, do the wave! And everyone's dying. And yeah, you can see that there are glyphs at the base of each of the stairwells on the immersion floor. A total of four currently. Did we see if that glyph, pressing that glyph, had any effect on that diagem core? Roll a perception check for me.

be that Jim core is the genre of music I listen to when I work out John perceiving a

A 17. The Diagem core still seems to be as you saw it before. Remember, there's the eel swimming around it. I don't know if you remember that. Giant electrical eel from the previous episode. Probably its pet. But yeah, it does not seem to have had any effect on it that you can ascertain. Didn't it like flicker? I don't recall that. When we did our thing. The eel is like discharging electricity around it. Maybe that's what you're thinking of. And the guy, there was someone in a cloak, a green cloak that was like... It was a cloak. They were glowing green. And they were like...

And what happened to them? They ran off. We fought. Someone in a cloak? What are you talking about? When we went into the room with the water. Oh, yeah. There were three Everguards in the alcove, and you dispatched all three of them. I thought there was one that was, like, charging up in the middle of it. Oh, it was like a pre-treatment.

like a priest yeah there was like a magic user and two fighters okay and we dispatched them that was your objective with bray you have to take care of the magic user on this alcove and bray went to take care of the other one okay we're all caught up people who are listening to these back to back are like god they have such terrible memories they just did this five minutes ago right after i ate my subway sandwich not sponsored so a final catch so what what did what did bart see what did you see bart with your perception

Uh, nothing. No change to the Diagem Core. Correct. Oh, that's what you were looking for. Okay. Yeah. So you don't have much time. You know, Bray has told you what you need to do to accomplish your task to deal with all of the Evergards here. Time is short. Where's a rune? I want a rune to step on. What if I shot it? Just real fast. You only have a short amount of time in order to accomplish all of this. And that time starts now.

Oh, shoot. Should I shoot it? You want me to take a shot? Sure. Do it. I looked back to see if Gus actually had a timer going. Longbow of triumph. I'm going to shoot at the gym core. All right. Go ahead and make an attack roll. That is a nat 20 plus 10. Ooh. 30. Go ahead and roll your damage. All right. And ka-chow.

Does it automatically put the plus? I don't know. It says crit 13. Yeah, it put your crit attack in there. It didn't calculate it the way I do. The way I would have calculated it, you would have done an additional three point of damage. So that's a 16. Yeah, your arrow flies true, striking the glyph dead on, but it doesn't seem to have any effect.

Damn, I can't believe I went to that. Like, does it not even get pressed in? It's touch sense, too. Not as far as you can tell. How far are we from that glyph? Like 20 feet, right? Yeah, correct. You all are in the air. There are various glyphs at the bottom of each staircase. And now that you're looking, you can see that Evergards are rushing to the portholes that have been opened by Bray and are trying to block it and stuff it up with whatever they have, like cloaks, shields, rope.

So you said 20 feet, huh? Dash away. 20 feet to the closest one. And then there are others around the immersion. Could I potentially... How far are they from each other? So if like, let's say I was standing on one of the glyphs, how far would the next glyph be from that? I'm measuring with my fingers. It looks like about 80 feet. Dang it. Okay.

Okay. 80 feet to the closest ones and then maybe a little further, like 100 feet to the one furthest away. Gum Gum, don't you have the little teleporter? I got some leather sacks of exploding jelly. If I put them on my arrows. I don't know if that's going to happen. I think we need to go actually touch these. No, no, not for the glyphs. Oh, for the evergards you're trying to plug up the thing.

They'd be a lot harder to plug up a hole that's been exploded jellied. Well, it's a portal. I don't know if that explodes it, but yeah, it would at least do some damage. To the Evergirds. Bart, it seems like you're trying to head towards the glyph. Yeah, I want to go press one. Go for it. Could I go run and press one of the glyphs? Closest one to me? Yeah, you're just going to run, dart down the stairs, and try to press that glyph in front of you. I'm going to cast invisibility first. Okay. On myself. All right, so cast invisibility. Just in case. And then you run down the stairs? Yes. Yes.

All right, from everyone else's perspective, Bart seems to pop out of existence. Oh no, Bart! But then down below, you can see that the glyph in front of you appears to get pressed and more water starts flooding into and gushing into the immersion from another portal. Okay.

Oh, so these are all just water things then? Yeah, they all have that same three-line graphic on them. What is the furthest one away? It's a little over 100 feet away, but that's the one Bray has pressed. The other two away from Bart are about 80 feet to the north and 80 feet to the south.

Okay, I'll go for the south one. Wait, I have a question. How much water is in the place now? It's pretty quickly filling up, but it's such a vast room that it's not to the point where you need to struggle to keep your feet yet. Okay. Is it enough for maybe a dinosaur? Not quite yet. You need a little more water than that. Aww.

Could I run and use my ring of jumping to jump towards the furthest one away? I guess you said you're going south, so I'll go north. Yeah. North is to the left. I'm going north. I'll go south. And then is... Also, like all these portals opening up around the land, it's like, meanwhile, in Pious Pass, there's just water coming into some dude's kitchen. He's like, what's going on? You all are running short on time. Go, go, go. Yeah, how far can I go if I run and jump? What's your base movement?

- Could you use your rod? - My base movement is 40 feet. - So if you double moved alone, that would be 80. And then your jump, I mean, you would do a triple jump. Let's say you'd get about 30 feet of jump. - So I could make it 100 feet all the way to the further one. - Oh, absolutely. - You're only 80 feet away, so I don't know. - Oh, okay. Could I jump to there and double speed? And then I can't use an item, so I couldn't use my... - But you can get there far enough. - Yeah, I was gonna try and get two once. - All right, no, yeah, you run to the southern one, jump.

over Evergards and make your way there. They all look up at you kind of Free Willy style as you fly over their heads. Land on the glyph and manage to press it and it clicks and more water starts pouring into the Immersion. And while I jump, I go, Hi guys! But turn into like a hamster or something, right? I will grab you and then I will double speed over and I'll throw you over. Oh my god, that's a great idea. That's a great idea. That's the smallest thing I've seen. Wait, I gotta see. You've been a hamster before, right?

Have I been a hamster? Or a rat? Maybe? Tick tock, tick tock. We're being timed. We can just do it. Be a hamster. This is in mud brain time. I'm just looking at mud brain. We know you got badger. And I can carry a badger. Like a hedgehog. I could be a kitty. All right, a kitty. I could be a kitty. He can only be things he's seen. All right, Gus, he turned into Meowd. All right. So I'm going to pick up Meowd and I'm going to double his speed. So that's 70 feet. And I'm going to toss him the rest of the way. Okay, make a strength check or an athletics check to toss him. Okay.

Come on, Meowd. Oh, it's mud. That's what that is. I was like, why does he keep saying Meowd? The cat version of mud. Meowd. I'm a kitty. That's a 13. 13. That's what you needed. You managed to toss Meowd through the air. It lands on the glyph.

Setting it off. Just throw the cat. Cat's not heavy enough. It doesn't go down. Is this where we find out this isn't what we needed to do? A torrent of water gushes into the immersion, flooding the lower level. Yay!

A few Evergards manage to scramble through the immersed gateways, but everyone else is inundated with the raging flow of water. Over the chaos you hear Bray call out to you: My fellow Shiraes and I will deal with these Evergards. They will rue the day they invaded our home. You four go after Paralyte. It looks like she's protecting the pair of mages that are conjuring the Force Shield around the Diagem Core. We must reach the core before more Evergards escape through the gateways. Can I run back to Kyborg and get up on his shoulder?

Uh, sure. You still a kitty? I'm a kitty. Do we need to keep pressing these though? Oh, is it like a hold to keep having water or is it just a push and then it goes down? It appears to be a toggle. You press it and then it activates. Good gamer speak. Do we need to keep pressing these in order you guys to do what you gotta do, Brian? No, you're good.

He thinks we're good. So they're up. They're up on the northern alcove. Now, when you say that Paralite is protecting them, is it just like she's using her body or does she have some sort of force field stuff of her own? You might want to go up there and find out. Well, I also wrote down that Paralite seems to be using the Diagem core to control the Evergards. How far away is it?

from these... Where's the north alcove from us? To the north. Well, I'm in the north. Yeah, he went north. So he tossed you to the northern glyph. I'm north. I'm pointing at mud. That's a terrible thing for an audio podcast. I'm more north. Mud was tossed to the northern glyph. So mud is at the base of the stairs that lead up to the northern alcove. Don't worry, guys. That's a kitty I just heard back. Don't worry, guys. I've got this. All of a sudden, he rolls onto his back and wants belly rubs. Yeah.

Don't worry. I have Claw Attack. It's a plus zero to hit. Nice. I'm looking at the cat stats. They're not good. Bart wants to start moving towards the north. Okay. Because I know it probably takes me a couple movements to get there. Just to be totally clear, you have two options, Bart. You can try to continue on the ground, which is flooding with water very rapidly and filled with portals and Evergards, or you can go back up...

the stairs on the upper level and walk around that way that way is a little further i'll go up okay just because i don't think bart's a very good swimmer no i don't think halflings are known for the swimming i'm also very dense so i'll probably sink oh true

That's how it works. That's not how human bodies work. You're thick like a hedgehog. Exactly. Yeah, we all know that you, Barbara, in real life, float more than Blaine, who's denser and just goes straight to the bottom of the pool. Exactly. That's how it works. Anatomy. I studied biology. We talked to you about this. Bones sink. So Bart is big boned. Big boned, yeah. Just like Cartman would say. Yeah, would sink straight to the bottom of water. I'm not fat. I'm big boned.

Can I follow Bart, though I don't see him, I guess? You're in a different alcove. I know. I'm way on the opposite side. Yeah, you are in the southern portion of the Immersium. So to get to the northern point, you have to kind of like go around the Diagem Core, which is in the middle of the Immersium. So you can kind of like go on the ground to the left or to the right or go back up the stairs to the upper level and go around the Immersium. But be aware that Evil Eel is down there.

So don't get too close because it'll attack you. And the priests are protecting the Diagem Core? Who are you talking about? The priests are making a force field around the Diagem Core and Paralite is protecting the priests. I want to be clear. Magic users. Magic users are there. They're not priests. Correct. And the giant eel is there with the Diagem Core as well. No, Catholic priests. Correct. But the magic users are in the northern alcove with Paralite. The Diagem Core is in the center with the eel.

Oh, and so they're from a distance casting to protect. Correct. So we need to go to the magic users and Paralite. How far are they from me if I jump? Glyph to glyph from where you are to get from the southern glyph to the northern glyph, it's about 100 feet. But...

But the Diagem Core is blocking in the way. So like I said, you have to go either to the left around or the right around. It's like, think of the Immersium like a donut. You're in the southern part of the donut. You cannot go through the hole. You have to go to the left or the right around the hole. The donut helps. There's an eel in the hole. And there is an eel in the donut hole. Okay, well, I guess I'll run and take a big jump to the right. Okay, which would be to the...

east, which is where Bray and the Shear Rays are. Okay, so you're going to the eastern way. You're not going to be able to make it the entire way. What do we say you could do? If you double move, it's 80 and then jump and bring me another 30, so that's about 110. You're going to be a little short of the entire way. Like I said, it's about 130, 140 feet, but you do clear most of the distance and you close in to within about 20 feet of the

glyph on the northern part of the Immersium. Where is Paralite's attention? Paralite is in that northern alcove surveying the chaos below her, keeping a close eye on all of you. Except for me, because I'm invisible. Make a stealth check. God dang it.

15. Then you get plus 10. Oh, wait, no, you get it with advantage. Oh, advantage, yeah. So I roll again. That's a 30. Wow. I rolled a 20, and then I have a plus 10 on my stealth, so. Damn. Sneaky Bart. I don't think Paralite will be able to perceive that, but I'm going to make a perception check just for fun. I am the knight. Paralite doesn't seem to be staring at you particularly, Bart.

That's a very passive way of saying she doesn't see you. You're doing a great job. You're so invisible right now. So I'm the closest to Paralite. I'm like 20 feet from the magic casters in Paralite. Correct. And Kyborg is only what? Like 10 feet. 10 feet below behind me? Oh yeah, Kyborg did run and then throw. So yeah, correct. About 10 feet. Okay. Should we address Paralite?

I'll just walk the rest of the distance to get up close. Walk a super cool action star walk? Not moonwalk in. Roll for moonwalk. Oh. So you all, we'll say everyone meets up at the northern glyph. Yeah, let's say that. Okay.

What does the party want to do now that everyone is together? I want to hiss. I want to shoot. I mean, if we're waiting for the thing to initiate initiative, then whoever has the highest attack should probably just attack right now. Just get a pot shot. But question, can you place a kitten on the end of an arrow and shoot it? Find out on our TikTok where we check this challenge. If I came around the top, though, if I went upstairs, where am I? I assume you wouldn't walk back down. Right. So, okay, you are at the top then. Okay.

Bart, as you reach the final chamber, you see the alcove is larger than the others and stocked with crates, but it isn't full of water. Before you is a row of archers with their bows drawn. Ah, dang it. And behind them are two robed mages glowing green as they gesture and chant their force shield spell. Between the two mages stands Paralyte.

She lowers her hood and you see one half of her pale face is disfigured while the other is contorted with rage. Her deep black eyes glare down at the four of you. Wait, did we disfigure her? Yeah. Oh, remember the rain at the top of the escrow? Oh, yeah.

Can't you see the bigger picture? The Infinites are no more. You're the interns of nothing. Only I can save Faiza. Me. No one else. You insolent nobodies have meddled in my plans for the last time. This ends now. Paralite dons her hood and vanishes into the crowd of Evergards. Everyone roll initiative. So we don't know which one she is.

Before she disappears, can I go, save Faiza, but you can't save face, huh?

I hope that didn't anger her more. 22. 9. 19. 10. Yeah, you all look into the crowd. And of course, there's, you know, several Evergards ahead of you in that alcove. Then without warning, one of the Evergards steps forward and rushes down the stairs, closing the distance with Gum-Gum. And very quickly takes a swing at Gum-Gum.

Hold on. I thought he was an archer. Who? You said there's three archers and two magic casters. Yeah, and Paralyte.

So this guy's rushing and not using his archery. He's using a sword. Correct. That's like archery 101. This person's rushing gum gum and taking a swing. Instead of being an archer. When I say a swing, I mean like a punch. Again, instead of shooting their bow and arrow? Correct. All right. I mean, we won't complain. I think that just confused me. I've never like, I'm like, archers have their one move. Wait, I bet this is some kind of like death touch. This is illegal. This is illegal. No, be careful if they touch you. Hit AC 24. Gum gum, make a constitution saving throw. Uh-oh.

As a little kitty, I pull out a red flag and I say, illegal move. Foul on the play. Foul on the play. But it sounds like, on the play! 11. Gum-Gum, you feel all of your limbs begin freezing up. Why is, leave his limbs alone. Oh man, not again. So where are they frozen? Uh... Like T-posing or at his side or what? How are you standing, Gum-Gum? Uh, I guess I was standing, like, holding a sack of, uh... Exploding jellies. Exploding jellies. Uh...

Uh, you're holding your exploding jelly. You get rushed and a gloved hand takes a swing at you, striking you, freezing you in position as you take 13 points of damage.

Gloved hand, huh? Who could that possibly be? Watching Chris just click on his cursor 13 damage points. Yeah. The most depressing thing. I get it. That's Paralyte. The figure that rushed down reaches under a cloak and tosses a sharp item in the direction of Mud. Mud does a 25 hit.

If I'm in the mood. Which I'm not right now. So I'm just going to say no. I'm okay. Well, unfortunately, a dart flies in your direction, piercing your skin, hitting you. You must also make a constitution saving throw. Oh my goodness. 19. Oh, you feel really sick, like almost nauseous, but you're able to like shake it off. Yeah. And wave it off. Because I'm a kitty. You're a kitty who takes.

I am not going to be a kitty any longer. She is going to dart the kitty out of you. 21 points of damage. Oh, man. I'm no more kitty. I guess I'll take some damage. What was that? 21? Yeah. All right. Then the hooded figure raises a clenched fist in the air and yells, Fire! And a volley of arrows rain down on the party. Everyone except Gum-Gum can make a dexterity saving throw. Even me? Even though they don't know where I am? Oh, not you. So only Kyborg and Mud. 21 points.

Nine, but I'm going to reroll because I'm lucky.

I hate that lucky. I hate it so much. Let me double check that I am indeed. Oh, you may have used all of them already. I don't know if we've had a rest. I thought he saved some. I thought he saved one. One. Yeah, I think it was one. I do remember that. I didn't, but I have a inspiration die. Do that. Okay, that you can do. Okay, taking the inspiration off. Rerolling dexterity. That's 11. Oh, that's good enough. Actually, that did save you.

So you all only take half damage as a volley of arrows rains down upon you from above. So each of you take three points of damage. After you've taken 21, three still is like, oh, okay, that's a lot. Gus, do I take six then? Because I didn't get to dodge it. Oh, correct. You take the full six.

Now he froze in the perfect position where the arrows just went right around him. And now it is your turn, Gum-Gum. However, all of your limbs are frozen in place. You seem to be unable to move. Only my limbs, or can I move my body and neck and mouth? No, you're entirely frozen. Okay. You're entirely stuck. Am I able to rage as a bonus action? Huh. Huh.

I'm still angry. I know I can't. Yeah, I think you can. Yeah. Yeah, because that's not like a physical thing you do. It's like you just get really mad. He's a statue, but he's an angry statue. I'm an angry statue. All right, so I'm going to rage. You're like Luke in the Wampum's Cave. And I'll roll my random rager. Oh, right. Okay.

and see what happens. Do any of them dispel all magic in the immediate vicinity and give your party plus 20 health? Any chance that's one of your abilities? I summon a flump. I rolled a three. An intangible spirit, which looks like a flump or a pixie. Five feet of one creature of your choice that you can see within 30 feet of you at the end of your current turn.

The spirit explodes, and each creature within five feet of it must succeed on dexterity. Saving thrower, take 1d6. Force damage until your rage ends. You can use resummon this flump. Can the statue decide where the flump goes? Yes. Okay. Well, good thing they're all grouped up there at the top there, bud. You didn't even need your exploding gels. Yeah. You have an exploding fairy. So the magic casters are 30 feet away? Gum, Gum, I feel like we keep encountering this flump. Uh-huh. What's its name? Oh, this flump?

His name is, um... Like a spaghetti monster. Like a giant jellyfish. His name is Boy. Bush Boy. Ha ha ha!

Bush boy the flump. Bush or butch? Bush. Bush boy. I hope we don't cut out any of the time it took Chris. I want all the water pots. Let's extend it. So up the stairs is 20 feet. And then the first ever guards you can see is like the archers. They're 10 feet away from there. So they're 30 feet from the base of the stairs. Then the magic casters are recessed another 10 feet behind them. So the magic casters are probably a total of 40 feet away from the base of the stairs.

Okay, well, I want to put my flumpf. He has a name. I want to put Bush Boy over it. If I can get close enough to hit the magic users, I would, but if not, I guess the archers in front of them. Yeah. What's the range on the flumpf? It is 30 feet. Yeah, so you can get to the archers, not the magic users. And then it's a five-foot radius around the flumpf, so... You'd be able to get two of the archers at once, if you wanted to. You can either choose, I mean, definitely the one in the center, and then either the one on the left or the one on the right from your perspective.

Alright, then I will do, I guess, the one on the right. Okay, so you create your flump at the top of the stairs between the archers favoring the east side. I'm frozen. You're frozen. Let it go. I just can't do anything besides the... Nothing that requires any movement. Okay. Can he cry? Tears could roll down his eyes, but there would be no sobbing.

So, Chris, do you want to cry? I mean, I might be crying. This is what it sounds like when Gum Gum cries. Yeah, I mean, I just don't think there's anything else I can do. This is what it sounds like when a Gum Gum cries. Can I drop stuff? No.

Okay. This is an opportunity for mindful meditation for Gum-Gum to slow it down once in a while and really think about, you know. Okay. And then I guess I'll use my... Here's what I can do. Oh, here it comes. I'll bolster myself. You can touch oneself, include yourself. Nope.

Nope. Well, I'm not touching myself. I'm just like myself. It says you can touch. It's like my guidance. I have to slap myself. Yeah. I have to give myself a little tummy rub. You can't just go. You can't move his hand. No, you're just like, you have to go out of your way to make a new touch. What if his tongue, which is inside of his body, touches the roof of his mouth? Frozen. Okay. Tongue? Guys, let it go. What about the medulla oblongata? Is that frozen? Uh, no, because he can still think. All right. Well, my flump explodes and I'm like, guys. All right.

I can't say anything. It's just breathing. It's just like labored breathing. Your flump detonates. Go ahead and roll your damage for that. D6 force damage. Who's next so they know what they're doing? Next is Zam and then Kyborg. Oh, what? They roll better than me? Yeah. Impossible. Not hard to do. Go, go, go.

Got him. One. The flump explodes above you in the alcove, dealing a point of damage. Your turn's over, right, Gum-Gum? Inspiration. I don't have an inspiration, no. No, my turn's over. Okay, so go ahead and make another constitution save to see if you're able to free your limbs. Hmm.

It's 11. Now your limbs are still frozen in place. You're trying your best to will yourself to move again, but it doesn't seem to be working. All right. All right. It's their turn. So the one at the top who did not get damaged by the flump, they're going to go ahead and take their turn. They pull up a crossbow and they aim it at... I'm going to roll to see who they're taking aim at. Nobody. Themselves. What?

It happens. Kyborg. Ooh. You're a rookie. You use a crossbow. You're not a real archer. You're a fake. Personal. A crossbow bolt flies out in your direction, hitting AC 13. I'm a 16. You're a rookie. You're a rookie. You're bad at your job. Boo.

Boo this man! Boo! The enemy seems very upset at your yelling and, like, pops down to one knee, like, closes an eye, really tries to aim and fires off another crossbow bolt. Oh, here we go, guys. Here we go. Boo! Boo!

There's a boo coming from an invisible body. They can't tell. Just casting your voice. It hits AC 22. Oh, you got this one, but I bet it's nothing. The bolt flies through, hitting you for 13 points of damage. Ah, that's nothing. Oh, shoot. Hold on. Oh.

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Is it something? I had temporary heals, and then, like, I was hitting damage, and I think I hit it four times before I realized, oh, it's not taking up my HP, but I think I got it. You got it? Yeah. Okay, the crossbow hits you. You must have really angered them because it hits you for 13 points of damage, and now you need to roll a strength saving throw. Okay. That's a 10.

Plants sprawl out from the arrow, plants and vines, and they grow at a rapid pace, entangling you and then growing into the floor, pinning you to the floor in position. That's a little Jimmy arrow. Hi Borg, it is your turn. Oh no, do you think little Jimmy's one of those archers? He couldn't be. He couldn't be, could he? No way. Uh, all right, well then I want to get out of that.

So, I mean... Could you see if you recognize anyone? Yeah, can I perceive if one of those guys is little Jimmy? Yeah, make a perception check. Okay, that's 18. You look around at the faces and none of them seem familiar to you. You don't think you've met any of these people in the past. Yeah. All right. I couldn't, I don't know if I could take that betrayal. Just FYI, after Kyborg is them again and then Bart and then Muddy.

So I have like hand axes and a long sword and stuff like that. So I'm pinned to the ground. Yeah. So your condition, technically speaking in D&D, it's called restraint. So your speed is zero. You don't get any bonuses related to speed. Okay. Attack rolls against you have advantage and your attack rolls have disadvantage. Okay.

Okay. And you have disadvantage on dexterity saving throws. Am I able to use an attack to cut myself out of these vines to free myself from this condition? Yeah, you have like a dagger or something you could try to like cut out of the... Got a hand axe. Yeah, you could try it. You could use an attack action to like get a hand axe and then start chopping yourself out. All right, I take one of my hand axes and I start hacking away. That is a 20. All right. Not 20, plus seven. Yeah.

Yeah, go ahead and roll damage. Okay. Ten, but I think that's before you wanted to add the modifier that you normally add. Oh, wait. When you made that attack roll, did you make it with disadvantage? No, I did not. Yeah, go ahead and roll one more time. Sorry about that. All right. That is a fart. No!

It's an eight. Eight. You fumble to really connect. Like, you're so restrained. You're able to get your handaxe out, but you can't get quite the right angle to chop at the vines and the plants to really get a good hit on them. So I'm still restrained. Okay. Well, I have another attack, so I'm going to take it at disadvantage. Same thing with my handaxe. Attacking the vines? Yes. So the first one is a 21, and the second one...

It's a 14. Yeah, you learn from your earlier mistake. In this one, you're able to, like, shave away enough of the vines to make a solid connection. So go ahead and roll damage on that. Five. Yeah, you're able to free enough of the vines that you're able to with your brute strength break. That's right. Hear that? Brute strength. Huge. Brute. Okay. Well, those were my two attacks. So I'm going to see if I have any bonus...

Action surge. Oh my god. Did you just remind me of that? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We're doing remind you. How'd you forget? You'd love that? I just haven't used in a while. It's like your move. Yeah, I know. Action surge!

We're taking two more attacks. I bring out my longbow of triumph. I aim at the son of a gun that just shot his stupid arrow at me, and I'm gonna pull out my little Jimmy arrow. It's my last one in stock. You have to go to the store and buy more. And I'm gonna take my shot. Don't throw it away. 24. Yeah, that easily connects. You show that supposed archer in air quotes, what for? Yep, and then I do eight points of damage.

Does he get the vine stuff? This is a little Jimmy arrow. Oh, that was a little Jimmy arrow, right. Yeah, yeah, because let me double check. I think I have two of those left. Yeah, special arrow one. I'm going to delete that from my inventory. Goodbye, sweet arrows. Thank you for your service. Yeah, goodbye, little Jimmy arrows. Yeah, your arrow connects and you feel like some kind of arcane energy surges out of it, enveloping the foe that was struck. You're not quite sure exactly what it did, but it feels like it did something.

Yeah? Yeah. How's he looking? Pretty messed up. That's what a real archer looks like. All right, I'm going to have, I got another action. Or sorry, another attack. Is that two attacks? Yeah. One action. So geographically speaking, how far is he from the other people? Because there was the other two that... Yeah, at the top of the stairs. So it's about 30 feet to like the front row of the three archers. It's five feet to that person's left is the archer in the center. And then five feet to that person's left is the other archer on the...

eastern side and those two are the ones that got hit by the flump damage. What about magic boys? Behind that archer that you struck about 10 feet behind that archer is one of the magic users and then 10 feet behind and then like 10 feet to the left is where the other one is. Okay. Well, they're all within 10 feet. So that last magic user I mentioned would not actually be within 10 feet because it's like

10 feet back and 10 feet over. So it's like at the diagonal, which is 10 feet. - A squared plus B squared. - 10 times the square root of two. - Well, I got our key. - So it'd be like 11.212 feet. - All right, all right, math.

That's my favorite part of D&D. See, I never understood why parents would, like, think that kids getting into D&D was a bad thing, like devil worship. Like, it's just improv and math. And social skills. You're learning so much. Okay, well, I'm going to take another shot with my long-goat triumph, and this is going to be an arcane shot if it makes it. And I'm going to aim at the dum-dum bubblegum. Real fast. So, I see what you're doing now. I'm going to try to help you out here. Okay. Okay.

If you shoot at the archer who's in the middle up at the top of the stairs, everyone is within 10 feet of that archer. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Sorry. I thought you were going for the one on the left. My bad. No. Wait. The one in the middle is the one that I hit with the Jimmy arrow, right? No. The one on the left is the one who fired at you. Okay. Well, I'm going to hit the guy in the middle. I'm so sorry, Barbara. Please don't fall asleep. No, no. I'm literally just stretching my neck. I'm still listening. I just looked over at Chris's computer and he just got.

I just saw like a Google search of a bunch of flowers. He's searching through flowers. Is it Mother's Day or are we playing D&D? No, no. I said I was going to pick out a special flower for a pair of life. He saw me catch him looking at the flowers and he had to look like a parrot had walked in on him looking some naughty. Is that what you think? He's like, I'm covering it.

It's just flowers. Alright, so I'm going to shoot at that middle guy. Okay, yes. You said it's an arcane shot. Yeah. 21. Yeah, that does connect. Wee. Alright, and then that does 6 points of damage, but it

It is an exploding arrow. Mark that. And then that's a... Oh, sorry, a bursting arrow. Bursting arrow. Which is 2d6 force of damage each and hitting everybody within 10 feet of that guy. Do they get a save or anything on that? Or is it just... It says immediately after the arrow hits a creature, the target and all other creatures within 10 feet of it take 2d6 force damage each. Immediately. Lame. No. He wants a saving throw. It's only 2d6. Whee! You're hitting all my guys. Oh, my God! 2d6s! That's a 12! Whoa! Wooo!

Wow, that echoed in this room so impressively. He pointed his voice up away from any of the stuff we have around here to block bouncing of sound. I wonder if the building security is going to come running in. Next time, scream into the curtain behind you. That's amazing. I don't know how often I see 2D6 actually result in 12. That's a good shot. Yeah, so your arrow hits, then bursts, damaging everyone in the area for 12 points of damage.

Everyone seems really taken aback by this massive amount of damage that ripples through the upper alcove. Cool. But they are all still standing. Okay. And then finally, I want to perceive, since I did hit some of the magic caster guys, did that do anything to their protective bubble on the gym core? Make an arcana check. Might be the first time Kyborg's ever done that. Let's watch me fail this. Here we go. That's a five. Magic, magic, something?

I don't know. There's like energy seems to be all over the place. Where does this come from? Okay. Bart, you are up that after Bart is mud. And I'm still invisible. Correct. You're invisible up near the top of the alcove. How many feet away from these archers? You're really close to them. The closest one from you is about 10 feet away.

The next closest one is 15, then the one after that's about 20. And what about my party members? They are down at the bottom of the stairs. So to get to the stairs is also about five feet away and then 20 feet down. Okay. Well, I'm kind of in a pickle because I feel like if I do any of my spells, I'm going to not be invisible anymore. Correct. Do love pickles. And I am really scared.

So... I'm still gonna do it. I'm gonna cast Cloud of Daggers over them. I was hoping you would do that. But at the third level. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm gonna cast that over... Bart's been sharpening his skills. Lots of little daggers. Lots of little daggers. He just reappears. He goes, Cloud of...

At third level. And how big is the cloud? Is it five feet by five feet by five feet? Yes. Five foot cube. So at best, you would be able to envelop two archers. Okay. You can do either the center one and the one on the left or the center one and the one on the right. I'll do the one on the left. Because there's already a little damage, right? Correct. Yeah. So center and left. Make it rain, Bard. You guys don't have to do any sort of saving throw. No. If they don't leave the cloud, they keep taking damage. Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping.

Man, that sucked. I got to roll 6d4, and I got a 4, 1, 3, 1, 3, 1. That's a lot of 1s. A lot of 1s. You got some 4s and 3s. That's true. We can't all roll 6s on our d6s. Yeah, out of nowhere, Bart reappears. This breaks your concentration. So Bart pops back into existence, and as he does so, a cloud of daggers also pops into existence, enveloping the two enemies at the front line on the left. They are just slain.

surrounded by daggers, and they are looking incredibly weak, incredibly cut up and messed up. Cool. It's a wonder that they are still standing. Okay, I feel like that was a hint. I feel like something's happening here. I'm just trying to paint the picture that way. When you ask how messed up are they, you know now. I feel like they have some invulnerability because of Paralite or something like that. And then there's still the one on the right. Correct. As a bonus action, could I cast my command on him? Okay.

Dang. Ooh. And tell him to flee. Can you cast? It's a bonus action. It's a bonus? Oh, wow. Look at you. She's using the dune voice. The spell fails. He thinks he's a flea. He starts hopping around and looking for dogs. What is the save on that? Wisdom 14. Let me look up their wisdom. They're dumb. They have a plus two on this save. Okay. Do your worst. Do your worst. Five. That is a failure. Do you want to do the voice for us, Bart? Free. Free.

Make that really echoey and like cool in post. It's just going to be Micah in his recording area saying that word over and over again so he could layer more voices on it. Yeah. Like queen style. Or he's going to do the opposite where he makes me sound really weak and scared. He pitches it up. It's even higher. No, but it succeeded. So yeah, it was definitely scary. Something about it made that other enemy terrified and they begin moving still on the upper level, but away from everyone, like around the immersion out towards the east.

Later. It must be because of me. This is why your parents tell you to use your words. Anything else for you, Bart? I think that's all I could do. I don't think I could do anything else. Okay, Mud, you're up. Then they get to go. Then Gum-Gum eventually after that. That was a good move. Good job. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I could try to help Gum-Gum, or I could try to go on the offensive. Do you. I feel like they're on the ropes. Do whatever you need. Okay. He can also do his flumps and stuff. Mud gathers himself, throws out his cloak of billowing for some drama. You make it billow dramatically? Yeah, and then off in the distance, you hear some music. And you're like, I know this melody. I know this melody. And Mud casts Conjure Animals, and you just hear this...

And I conjure two Dionycus. What is a Dionycus? Basically, it's what they base raptors on in Jurassic Park, but instead of basing them actually on the size of Velociraptors, which are about the size of a turkey, they base them off of Dionycus. The skeleton looks like a raptor from Jurassic Park. But I think they just thought people couldn't, like, Dionycus was too much for them. Have you seen a Dionycus? Yeah, Dionycus are awesome. No, like...

In game. Don't you have to have seen it? No, not with Conjure Animals. Oh, that's right. Okay. But now I've seen one and I'm adding it to my list. Did you just conjure it? That's the dumbest loophole ever. Yes. I see Micah's got his head in his head. He's thinking. That's incredible. I guess that works. That seems like that's broken. Well, a little bit, but...

But I can only cast two of them, so I'm not going to totally break your brain like casting eight swarms of bats last time, I think. But because I'm seeing them, I'd also like to turn into one with my bonus action. I hate you so much. You're like pulling a Paralite. Yeah. Blinning in. But I can't. Conjuring them and turning into them is my action, so I won't be doing anything else as a Deinonychus. But I'm sure they will. They will, and they have some pretty broken abilities. Yeah.

I cast them so that they have at least 20 feet of movement to get to those, uh, magic casters. So, like, at the base of the stairs? Yes. And they can run up. So they pounce the magic casters, which, uh, if they move at least 20 feet straight toward a creature and then hit it with a claw attack on the same turn, the target must succeed on the strength saving throw or be knocked prone. They also have a multi-attack that gives them three attacks on this turn.

- Jeez. - Wow, I love being a druid. - Yeah. - OP. - So they're gonna take a magic caster each and pounce. - Okay, yeah, let's deal with them one at a time. - So yeah, let's go. - We'll deal with the first Deinonychus. I assume you'll go on the one on the left.

Yeah, so I'm gonna do a Claw attack on the left. Why don't I have to do the Pounce first? It says, "Then hits it with a Claw attack on the same turn." Okay, so you have to hit, then that target must succeed on the Strength saving throw. Yeah, and so that roll was only a 10. And that was a miss.

Okay, they get to do two claw attacks. So I'm going to do my second claw attack. That one is a 15. That does hit. So then they do have to do a DC 12 strength saving throw, which seems to be a good attack to be doing against casters. Yeah, you're right. Okay, strength saving throw. DC 12. They have a plus zero on this. Ooh, a 20. Okay, but that guy still takes...

uh, some slashing damage, which I shall roll for that. So that's four, uh, slashing damage, and then I'm gonna bite them as well, so that's another attack, which will land a...

- 12? - That misses. - Okay, so then that's all that guy does. - Yeah, the magic user who has been hit is like struggling to hold their intestines in. - As a dinosaur attacks them. - Yeah. - So then I'm gonna do, I'm just gonna roll both of the claw attacks for the other guy. That's a 15 and an eight.

The 15 hits, so I need to make the strength saving throw, right? Yes, please. Also a plus zero on this. 10. Okay, so that's 12, so you're prone. So that one is knocked down, and it takes how much damage? Wait, hold on. This is great. I didn't read this part. First, he takes 10 slashing damage from that claw attack, but since he's prone, I get to take another bonus bite. Correct.

Wow. Oh, man. So now I'm going to roll for two bites on him. I want a Dynanaikis tattoo now. That's a 15 and a 23. Yeah, those both hit. Okay, so I'm going to roll 2d8. Nine plus four, so that's 13 piercing damage. Okay, yeah, that dinosaur rushes up the stairs, pounces on that magic user, and like...

totally eviscerates him, like, only chunks of that, what used to be that magic user are left on the ground. As that magic user dies, you see the arcane energy start to pulse and flicker, and the other magic user who's standing seems to, like, wince in pain and holds his hand to his head. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

I make a roar, and that's the end of my turn. Can you give us a taste of that? That was so high-pitched. Yeah, it scared me. That was more than a taste. That was a full meal. Yeah. Clever girl. Nice. This episode of Stinky Dragon is sponsored by Jurassic World Dominion. See Chris Pratt's newest adventure around theaters. Mud always finds a way. Yeah. Okay, is that it for Dino Town? Dino Mud is done. Dino Might.

Okay, um... Who is this? Dino DNA! Dino! Hello John! Drew DNA! Hello John! Before I go, just a quick point of clarification, because I know we're gonna hear about it. Please tweet us @SninkyDragonPod. These conjured animals are fey, so you wouldn't technically be able to put them on your beast list. Okay.

Micah's over there giving finger guns like he just won a debate. It's Micah who looked it up. We all hate you right now, Micah. You killer of fun. You joint murderer. Okay, so then that doesn't use my bonus action.

So I'm still mud. Correct. So then I would like to use my bonus action to cast... I'm pulling up so I call the right thing. More damage. No, not more damage. Where in this app are my traits? You're funny. You're kind. Thank you. You're giving. You're caring. I cast Hidden Step.

Until your next turn, you turn invisible. So I am invisible. Ooh. Yeah, yeah, Bart. You're not the only one who can turn invisible. I can do it for like one time. Good. Mud disappears. I like how Bart's supportive of it. Yeah. Good for us. Come into the darkness with me. It only lasts for one turn. I feel like you're holding your breath while you do it, and that's why it only lasts so long. You're like... Okay.

And Gum-Gum thinks he's almost invisible because he just can't move. He's so still, he's like Drax. He's pulling a Drax, yeah. Okay, it's time for the archer in the middle. He doesn't know what happened. Some dinosaurs ran past him and totally started eating his friends behind him. He got outclassed by another better archer? It's crazy. Yeah, aim for me. I don't care. Do it.

So who does he see? Bart has reappeared into his vision. He sees Kyborg and Gum-Gum. Mud is invisible, so he would have to try to perceive you. There's two dinosaurs behind him, which he was not expecting when he woke up this morning. You never expect dinosaurs. Hmm.

Yeah, he's going to use his crossbow. He's going to center it at the dinosaur who's still attacking the magic user that is alive. He turned his back on us. Oh, he's going to regret that. AC 20. That does hit. His crossbow bolt hits the dinosaur doing five points of damage. Have the dinosaur make a dexterity saving throw.

Can do. Aw, don't do the trap thing. That's only a 12. The crossbow bolt that connects with the dinosaur has a rope tied to it. It seems like it's a harpoon. So it connects with the dinosaur and he heaves it, pulling the dinosaur away from the magic user that it was attacking. So just moving a few feet away from the magic caster? Yeah, like pulling him back closer towards the Evergard. Okay. At this point, he pulls out a spear and uses it to try to attack the dinosaur. Mm-hmm. Oh.

How'd that turn out for me, Anderthals?

I know they weren't around during that time. That would hit AC 13. My AC is 13. Okay, yeah, so that hits, doing 12 points of damage. And the dinosaur must make a constitution saving throw. How you looking, Mud? That's my dinosaur. He's fine. Okay, but you're looking okay? Well, Mud also is not doing so well. He's looking invisible. Yeah, you can't tell. He's invisible. Okay. That's only a 10. Okay.

Oh, okay. The dinosaur takes an additional 11 points of poison damage. Kyborg, you notice Mayor Prattle is limping very gingerly up to the encounter from behind you. I thought he was dead. What? He says, ah, thank you for leaving Archie with me. He helped me make a full recovery.

Here, let me help you. Mayor Prattle? I'm gonna spartan kick this guy down the staircase. There's no way that's Mayor Prattle. You're at the bottom of the staircase. As Mayor Prattle gets close, he very quickly starts taking a flurry of swings at you. Punches. Okay, it's not Mayor Prattle. I knew it was you, Paralite. You're not, you're not, no one's impressed. Ha ha ha.

Hits a C... Ooh, 16. I am at 16. Oh, that hits. Okay, good. Yay! No! Ooh! Wait, I have my shield drawn. Don't. It's just, like, so fast, you can barely keep track of them. The punches keep coming, hitting you, doing a total of 18 points of damage. Oh, my God. That's fine. It's fine. You need to make a strength saving throw. Oh, God. That's an 11. You drop your longbow of triumph to the ground. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Is that you, like, farting? Yes. I lost my strength. And then Paralyte pulls her arm back and then throws another punch at you. Man. Yo, Kyborg might go down. No, no, no. Silence. It's a C.

Ooh, 13. Oh, sorry. Oh, so sorry. God, it was almost a 29. It went from like, and it rolled over at the last second. 13. That's a miss. Hmm. She doesn't like that. Paralyte purses her lips together, closes her eyes, squints a little bit. All four of you make a wisdom saving throw. This is crop testing. It's my specialty. I don't think it is.

It's a nine. Six. Oof. Twelve. Nine. Twelve's our highest. Something about the way she's looking at you pulls at your inner darkest fears. Pardon? This is a sight-based spell? If you see her, not if she sees you. I'm not looking at her. She's in the area. Everyone who can see her within 30 feet. Well...

Am I looking at her? Because I can't turn even turned. Yes. Oh, shoot. So all of you are really terrified of her and all of you have disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls. Question. Yeah. I have advantage against being frightened. Oh, you do? I do. Roll that again. Okay.

Is this some sort of charm? No. It's a 17 this time. Still not good enough. Are you kidding? Oh my God. Wow. Dang. Okay. Yeah. So you are also frightened. Everyone has disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls. As long as you can still see her and none of you can get any closer to her.

How far away is she? Well, she's within melee range of you, Kaibor, because she punched you. She did this on purpose. She knows how powerful the Wando Triumph is. There's got to be, like, something we're supposed to be doing here, right? I feel like she's way too powerful for us to take on. We are. We're taking down the magic casters that are behind her.

Gum-Gum, it is your turn. Then they will go and then Kyborg. I have a question. Did that frightening thing that happened, does that count as an attack? No. Okay. I need to rage again because my rage has ended. It did? Oh, because you didn't attack. I didn't attack anyone and I didn't take any damage. Yeah, correct. So Gum-Gum gets really mad, doesn't move, calms down, then gets really mad again. It's a real rollercoaster of emotions over there. Six is my rage count.

Oh, you re-roll your rage. Yeah, and I need it because I need the damage reduction. Until your rage ends, you're surrounded by multicolored protective lights. You gain plus one bonus AC, and people within 10 feet gain a plus one bonus AC. Oh, okay. So we'd say kyborg and mud most likely would be within 10 feet.

Okay, no flu. And then I know what I can do. I'm going to do a magic awareness. And is that just like... As an action, you can open your awareness to the presence of concentrated magic. You're just trying to gather intel? Yeah. See, I'm trying to figure out what the protective barriers are. Within what range? Is it like 30 feet? Within 60 feet. Okay. Okay. Yeah. You open up your perception to magic. And yeah, you can definitely tell there is strong magic emanating from the

caster. It seems like it's going from them out to the Diagem Core. The Diagem Core itself is also radiating very strong magic, as well as Paralite. And what school of magic is this protective thing? Evocation. Are you able to free yourself? I'm about to roll for it. Alright, here comes my Constitution saving throw. Okay.

I got an eight. I have a plus six to constitution. That's unfortunate. Yeah, you are still firmly stuck. Standing your ground. Have you ever tried not sucking?

I really have terrible you don't have any inspiration or nothing frozen is he like encased in a I'm so angry I don't even I'm so angry I I can't move I

I don't know. Nailed it. I hate being...

I was on the spot. Got it. Inspiration die incoming? No. Oh, okay. Yeah, everybody let us know in the comments if what got you to giving that an inspiration die. All right, so it's one of the archer's turns and after that will be Kyborg's. Can Chris get an inspiration die for being the member who's wearing one of our Stinky Dragon merch pieces? Could that be a reason? I'm wearing two. If a listener were to send us... What are you also wearing? The hat? Oh, no. He doesn't have a hat on. Chris thought he was wearing a hat. He is not wearing a hat.

If a listener tweets us a photo of themselves wearing Stinky Dragon merchandise, they will get an inspiration. We'll retcon and give Chris an inspiration day. Oh, you do have a black hat. I brought a hat. You brought a hat. I just wasn't wearing it. Can you pass it to me right now? Okay, this archer is going to focus their attention on the dinosaur who was attacking the...

magic user. This one also pulls out a spear and tries to hit the dinosaur. God bless those dinosaurs. They're sponging. Thank you. They're sponging. John. Smud did that. Ooh, that's a critical hit. That's a 24. Go for it. All right. That's 20 points of damage. You know what's fun about that, Gus? What?

is that it's a great hit. It's critical. That's tough to roll. Doesn't really matter. That dinosaur had like two HP. So that dinosaur's gone. That dinosaur's gone. So it's kind of a little bit of a wasted crit. So we'll take it. We'll take it. Do I get an inspiration die? Mara tweeted a photo of herself wearing the hat. Yes, I said that would be the case. So, Bart, you do get an inspiration die. Hand me the hat. That's it. It's over. It's over. Oh, wait. I already had one. Oh.

You could have told Chris to do it. Could I give my inspiration? Donate it. Okay, well, that one's dead. So this archer is going to turn their attention at the other dinosaur who's up top over the dead body of the magic user and fire a crossbow bolt at that one. That hits. Ooh, AC 20. I assume that's a hit. That is a hit. That does...

Seven points of damage. Copy that. And it needs to make a strength saving throw. That's an 11. Ooh, okay. Vines and plants sprout out from this crossbow bolt, entangling the dinosaur and pinning it to the ground. Copy that. Dinos!

That's pretty good. That is it for that enemy's turn. Kyborg, it's your turn. Okay. What's the process like for putting away a weapon and then drawing another one instead? Is that an action? Is that a bonus action? What is that? Putting away and drawing. That would be an action. Well, I guess I'm not putting away an action. You didn't pull out it. Yeah, you're currently unarmed. So if I were to draw my long sword and my shield, is that an action? Draw your long sword and shield.

I think it could go either way. I'll be nice to you. It's a bonus action. All right. Well, then I do that. Okay. I draw my shield, which ups my AC, and now I have my... Ups your AC to what you had for about the first two arcs of our campaign. Plus, I got gum gums plus one. So I'm a little bit beefier now. You're almost like... What are they called? A fighter? Okay. So...

I feel like because Paralite has that thing that's going to do the, you know, we're at disadvantage. You can't approach her either. Correct. He cannot approach her. However, he's lucky she is melee distance because she approached him as a mayor prattle and then started punching him. Right. Hack, hack, hack, hack her up, hack her up. You said, do I have another bonus action? Can I heal myself? No, you used your bonus action to pull your stuff out.

Which he was nice about, so do the same. Yeah, you're right, you're right. Don't do a remark right now. Sure, sure, sure. Or he will shove that sword and shield right back into your inventory. You are absolutely right. Thank you, almighty Gus. Okay, well then I'm going to just take a swing at the old... The old Paralite with my longsword. At disadvantage. Well, it's a nine, so I don't think it's going to get much lower than that. 19. Nope, that is... We take the nine. That is a miss. Okay. Okay.

I have two attacks, so I'm going to take it again. It's a 12 and a 27. Poopy! Yeah, then we take the 12, and that is also a miss. Man, these disadvantages. She's just, like, so intimidating. Now that you see her up close, she's like the disfigurement on her face. There's just, like, something unnerving about it. It's just, like, otherworldly. And

And then like movement wise, I can't do anything. You can move away, but since you would leave a melee range, you would have attack of opportunity on you. Time to hold your ground with that shield. Yep. All right, cool. That's me. It is the remaining mages turn and then Bart after that.

Okay, well, the remaining mage has had the dinosaur pulled off of it. The remaining mage, the dinosaur's dead. Because the other one that's entangled. Oh, right. I mean, that one's dead and the other one's entangled. Over his dead friend's body. This one, I guess he continues to focus on the magic spell he is channeling. Yeah, you do that. Then, Bart, it is your turn. And then after Bart is Mud. How far is Paralite from Bart? Paralite is down the stairs, we'll say. And then you're a little away from the stairs. Straight line, about 25, 30 feet. All right. Okay.

I cast Dissonant Whispers. I try to cast Dissonant Whispers at Paralight. The target must make a wisdom saving throw. I imagine she's very wise, so this might be... This will be plus five. Dumb as a sack of bricks. And the save looks like it is a 14? Yes, a 14. That is a 23.

So she successfully saves against Dissonant Whispers. So she takes half damage. Half damage. So that's a 21. So half of that rounded down or rounded up? Normally we round down. So 10. 10.

Does that break her thing? Does that break her scariness at all? No, it's not like an active ability she has to keep up. Like, it just happened, and then now you all are in that condition. Okay. How do we free ourselves of that? It expires over time. Okay. I'm going to try this on her. I'm going to cast my command. Okay.

And I'm going to tell her to grovel. Grovel. What kind of save is that? Also a 14 wisdom. Come on. Crappy roll. Give us that old razzle dazzle of a crappy roll.

And that's going to be on her turn that she... Yeah. Okay, yeah. So you don't know, but it does succeed. Okay. And I just want to read what it says here. For Grovel, the target falls prone and then ends its turn. Okay. So whenever it's Paralyzed's turn, that's what happens. Gotcha. Good job, Bart. You nailed it. Nice word. Thank you. Grovel. There you go. Mud, it's your turn. Then they act a bunch, and then gum gum. Can I resolve the dinosaur first? Yes. Okay. Then I believe if I... Gonna think hullo?

Believe that. Kyborg, when entangled in these same kinds of vines, attacked him to get him off? Yes. Okay, then I'd like to do a little claw. Yeah, at disadvantage because of the entanglement. That would be a...

the disadvantage one would be 13. Yeah. You managed to slice your way out or the dinosaur manages to slice its way out. Correct. And so how far am I from the other caster? How far is my Deinonychus? Not that far. About 20 feet away. Perfect. I love that number. Oh. All right. So then I want to do a claw attack against that little POS. Okay. Got him. Which that is a 12. That's a miss. Okay. Then

Then I will do a bite. That one's a 20. Oh, that hits. Yeah. I'm going to do a little bit of some spicy damage. It's only going to be... That's only four piercing. And that's the bite? That's the bite.

which then resolves, uh, Deinonychus' turn. Well, lucky for you, that is the exact amount of hit points that that, uh, magic user had left. My dinosaurs ate Magiccasters. They tried. The-the-the archers knew that this was gonna be the end result. They did their best to try to stop your-your dinosaurs. Something tells me they taste like Lucky Charms or something.

Magic. Some magic food. They're magically delicious. My girlfriend and I are... Boom. The greenish force shield evaporates around the Diagem core, but it appears water continues to envelop the platform where the giant eel slithers around and sparks the glowing indigo core. How far is that away? About 20, 25 feet.

Okay. I'd like to cast Call Lightning. Okay. Over the Diagem Core. A storm cloud appears in the shape of a cylinder that is 10 feet tall with a 60-foot radius centered on a point you can see within range. Okay. When you cast a spell, choose a point you can see under the cloud. A bolt of lightning flashes down from the cloud to that point. Each creature within five feet of that point must make a deck saving throw. Ooh. Deck 16. Otherwise, you take Dimash.

I assume if the eel is wrapped or is surrounding the diagem core, I could attack the eel and the core. Yeah. Then I'm doing that. That makes sense. Okay. Do I have to roll my save first? Yeah, give me a deck save. Five. That's not going to work. Nope. All right, so they take 3d10 lightning damage. All right, go ahead and roll that. All right, eel takes 12 lightning damage, which I don't know if that's going to hurt an eel or not be bad at a lightning eel. Makes them super powerful. You charge them up.

The giant eel topples to the ground, still sparking but struggling to breathe. The core powers down and the indigo diagem dims to a soft glimmer. The immersed gateways below all close and fade from existence. All but one. But something draws your attention. A blotchy-skinned dwarf stands behind the core, stroking his red beard with eyes ogling the gleaming diagem.

It's Archie. Fwoosh! From the portal below out steps Dr. Ahem, with Sordo floating behind. They both stop in their tracks as they look up at the curious dwarf. You hear Sordo say, "Oh my Daya, that's my body! Hurry, somebody stop!" But before anyone can bleak, Archie snatches the gem out from the core. The ground vibrates with a horrifying hum. Archie's skin turns a shade of indigo but then rapidly shifts to a vibrant crimson.

His body floats into the air and his head tilts back, releasing a hellish scream. A crimson vapor pours out from his mouth, growing larger and larger like a scarlet thunder cloud until finally the dwarf plummets to the ground, limp and pale with a thud. The cloud starts taking shape, conforming itself into an obscure red figure hovering above you all. Two bloodshot eyes emerge from the haze, then a crooked smile, and finally the vapor molds into a smoky humanoid physique.

Countless years without my rightful form, afflicted by putrid mortality and a sickening excuse for flesh and bone. But now... Suddenly the Diagem appears in the center of the creature's forehead, pulsing with indigo radiance. The creature's bloodshot eyes look around and see you all. Oh, I almost forgot you all were here. I suppose I should be thanking you for helping me.

This. One down, five more to go, and the best part, she can't stop me this time. Dia, save us all.

You dare speak her name, mortal? A plume of crimson cloud lashes out from the creature like lightning and strikes Dr. M, flinging him across the atrium into the wall with a resounding wham! The crimson creature catches sight of Sordo. I wondered when we would meet again. Sordo, is it? I don't know that we were ever properly introduced. I, Ventropod.

I hope Gum-Gum can float.

Wait a minute. That's a new big bad. Is this the big, big bad? This is the big, big bad. Is Paralite not the big bad? Paralite's not. Apparently not. We're going to have to find out in the next episode. Dang it. So Archie was Sordo. I never trusted that dude. Archie's body. Archie's body is Sordo. That's Sordo's body. So whatever was in Archie is Entropa. Correct. Remember Archie we found in that cave frozen in ice. Yeah.

We freed him. We're the idiots that did it. Yeah. And I'm the idiot who broke the eel and gave him the core. Well, we did keep the amulet away from him. Well, at least you all are consistent. So, wait. Archie, that's just a made-up character? That's just a character that this guy made up to be? Basically, it's like an evil spirit probably took over this body and then sort of was forced to be into this. Yeah, and he's called Archie because he's our arch nemesis. Let's get his best friend's jughead.

I mean, I liked Archie. Does he like Betty or Veronica better? Oh, we'll never, 50 years, 60 years and we're still waiting to find out. Gum Gum is just like, and we were best friends for a short time. My goodness. All right. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll talk to you guys next time. Find out how the party's going to pass away. Bye. Tell your friends about Stinky Dragon. Tell them to get stinky.

Hey everyone, just want to let you know, in case you didn't know, we have an event coming up in Austin this July 1st to 3rd. It's RTX. RTX!

We'll be there. We'll be doing a Stinky Dragon panel. You can find information about the event in general at rtxevent.com if you want to pick up badges. Come see us talk about Stinky Dragon and get stinky in front of a live studio audience. I'll be shooting real arrows into the audience. The Longboat Triumph will be making an appearance only at RTX. People who aren't familiar with RTX, it's the amazing podcast animation and gaming convention. I say amazing.

The best. A lot of cosplay. A lot of booths for buying nerd stuff. A lot of rooster teeth folks. Yeah. Like Chris said, a lot of great content that if you enjoy Tales from the Stinky Dragon, it's probably stuff that you're into. Yeah. So check out the website and come see us. We're going to have a Stinky Dragon event. Details to follow soon. And we also have a bunch of other things with our podcast, like Black Box Down and RT Podcast. And maybe you'll see a real-life flump there. Oh, yeah.

We can guarantee there will be, in fact, a real-life dragon. So we can guarantee that. It's also just a good time with good people. So come hang out. Come say hello. And hopefully we'll see you there July 1st to 3rd here in Austin. Details at rtxevent.com.