C01 - Ep. 45 - Paralyte's Poison - Swarm and Fuzzy
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Felicitations to our fiendly friends. It's sun holy hour at the Stinky Dragon. And you know what that means? Half price on all our brews. Take a sip of our latest libation, the Goristro Ghost. This salty sour has a huge taste and will lay siege to your taste buds hoof over fist.

Previously, our adventurers explored the treetop bungalows of Elderling Village. They battled some bark-covered brutes, toiled with twirling tools, napped around a blissful bowl, partook in some pickled provisions, and finally found the Triune Canopy. But with a homicidal spectral on the loose, can the interns find their friends? Or will this mission meet a dead end? Settle your sinful souls and let's continue our tale. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. We're back. Rawr.

Arr, ready to fight and have an adventure. Arr, stinky. He be stinky in these parts. So I want to make sure Spectral went crazy. He's under some mind control, right? He stabbed someone, right? Something? That's your perception of what's going on. I thought he killed Sleek or something. He made a claim about that and came in with bloody daggers. Hmm.

Did I black out at the end of our last recording? I don't recall anything of what you're saying. It's like right at the end, there was someone under the stairs or something like that, right? Yeah, you all went through all that treetop stuff. Then you came through the big room where the three thrones were you in the flashback had met the triune.

You heard the voice of what you think might be Brink Tussler coming from below you, like from down some stairs. And then Spectral came in with his daggers and said that he had taken care of Sleek and was looking at you guys. Yep. So this is Schrodinger's dead body. This could mean that Sleek is dead. There is a world in which Sleek is dead. Does that make you sad? Your best friend might be hurt? No, Kyborg's as happy as can be. He's like, oh, oh.

I'm genuinely concerned for my brain. What you just said about sleep coming in, I don't remember at all. Like, it doesn't even ring a single bell. I need to... Is there a vitamin I should be taking more of? Probably. It's called vacation, and I just got back from it. I'm ready. I got my Margaritaville. Oh, we're good. You're drinking cold brew. Margaritaville cold brew. Yeah.

Okay, Sleek's here and he's gone crazy possibly. No, Spectral. Spectral. I'm trying to pull up the final stinger. More like the final stinker. Whoa. So you look around, the room was empty, just the thrones and some stairs leading down. You heard the muffled voice of Brink coming from down the stairs. The door creaked open, a slender silhouette slinks into the room holding a dagger dripping with blood. A narrow half-orc face comes into view with empty black eyes staring at you. Spectral? One infinite down.

for interns to go. Okay. Wait, but if you have one infinite down, do you have to kill yourself to get all four of them? You gotta collect them all there, Spectral. That's just logic. Well, yeah, obviously. Then just as a quick recap, since I want to make sure everyone's on the same page here, just like a reminder of the state, a state of the union, if you will. Mud, you are not an animal currently. You're a firbolg. Bar,

Bart, you are invisible. You had cast invisibility earlier. I thought you were going to say, Bart, you are awesome. Well, obviously, we don't have to remind anyone that. That's just the state of being. Gum Gum, you still have that tail. We didn't mention it in the last episode. Oh, yeah. Oh, thank God. Remember two episodes ago? The bush? Right. You had that encounter with the bush. Or the vines. Or the fern. And you sprouted a tail. And you still do have it. Do we need to cut off the tail before the next full moon? No.

That's up to you guys. Maybe he'll shed it like a lizard. This is a Dragon Ball Z. Yeah. And I think that's where we're at. No updates on Kyborg then. All right. Kyborg still has one arm. Smash. Four Evergards rappel through the windows into the room. Each of them cloaked in black and armed with bows and blades. The room darkens as the sun fades behind the treetops to the west. Spectral finishes wiping his bloody dagger and says...

Quite the entrance, boys. Right on time. He turns back to you all. Oh, perhaps I should explain. Leonard's not home at the moment. He taps his forehead.

He's taking a little nap somewhere deep in the recesses of this revenge-ridden noggin of his. You see, I've been keeping an eye on you all from behind these half-orc eyes, since it seems you just won't go away. He stabs the doorframe with his dagger. Oh my god! I figured if I was going to go through the trouble of brainwashing these imbeciles, why not let them think they've regained control?

All the while, something was… loose in the back of their minds. He smiles wide and unsheathes two misty indigo blades that seem to flicker in and out of existence. Is he possessed? Yeah, it seems like it's… By a loose? That's Paralite. Mesmerizing, aren't they? I think he calls them something dramatic like… the Aether Blades.

And there's some story of how they're forged from shadows in the ethereal plane after Yumi died. Blah, blah. Anyway...

Good luck dodging these. Everyone roll initiative. Oh my god, this is Paralite, right? It's gotta be. I also want to point out that he stabbed the door with his blade. That's a really stupid way of dealing with your blades. You gotta treat the blades better. It's true. I don't care if it's sleek or spectral, whoever it is. It is very intimidating, though.

It is intimidating. It's more for the intimidation factor, like Barbara said. I just think it's impractical. I think it's silly. What if they got stuck? It's like when a guy has a shotgun and it's already cocked and then he cocks it again. It's like you just wasted a cartridge, you dum-dum. Or to take it back to a TikTok we made, it's like being in a knife fight and licking the knife. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

That actually got taken off TikTok. Oh, did it? TikTok can't handle that. That was one of the violence, the call for violence. But it's on Instagram. But it's on Instagram. It doesn't like guns, knives, and blood? What's the... Our saucy stuff is on Instagram. That's where all our nudes are. Naughty. At Squad Team Force.

I'm making some initiative rolls here. I got a 14. I also got a 14. Wow, twins. What goes first, Dex? Higher Dex? Yeah, higher Dex. I think it's Gum Gum then, right? Between you two, probably. My Dexterity is 14. Oh, really? I'm higher Dex? All right. I guess so. I go first. And I have an 18. I got a 22. Oh, God. Gus rolled a 34. My gosh. You do that every time he rolls multiple rolls for characters. And it's always funny.

It's always, John, it's always funny. I just like that he doesn't keep it hidden because that means that he rolled initiative for four people and together they got 34. They suck. Their initiative is terrible. Ooh.

Because you all are so quick to accuse me of cheating or lying about roles. I put them all out in the open. It's because you're a cheater. You see all the roles I make. Now, oh, please, Gus. You say you all call me out for cheating. There's one person who calls you out for cheating. That's true. It is one person. Who? Who?

I don't know. Who are you pointing at? We're talking about you. We're talking about Blaine, right? Because it's not me, right? We're talking about Blaine. I just want to make sure. I don't think I've ever done that. Classic Chris comedy there. Kyborg, you get to act first. You're in this rather large room with the three thrones, the entrance you came in, the stairs going down, four archers, and spectral. Okay. Oh, you had to bring in archers into this. I would have gone for spectral, but I got to be the only archer.

So I'm going to shoot. Well, actually, how close are they? What's the geography of this place? You all came in from the northwestern corner of the room. Okay. And you all kind of wandered around into this room. Spectral came in from the southwestern corner. And the archers came in from four windows and are spaced evenly around the room. Barbara is doing hand motions to figure out where north and south are right now. Well, I want to get myself situated. You're making a box of your hands there?

We came in this way and he came in this way. And then the others are like about to collide this way.

We got to find the value of C, everyone. All right, bring out your pencils, your number two pencils. Well, so how far are the Evergard archers or Evergard guys with bows and arrows from each other? I mean, the room is not huge or anything. What is this? It's about 30 by 50 or so. They're all probably at least 10 feet apart, 15 feet apart, something like that. I think they're eight feet apart, Gus, because I wanted to use...

No, they're definitely not eight feet apart. Not with the size of this room. Okay. Well, then I'm going to shoot one of them. I'm going to just roll a D4 and then that's the one that I'll shoot. I'm going to roll guy number one. And then that's actually really helpful because I have them written down in my initiative order. So the first one. You're welcome. Guy number one. That's a 19. Yes, that is a hit. Okay.

Okay. Doing piercing damage, which is a 12. Ooh, okay. Yeah, he takes 12 points of damage. He does not like that one bit. Okay. All right. Well, I'll try to finish the job, and I'm going to take another attack. Shoot him again. 13? Yes, that does actually hit. These guys suck. All right. And then that is.

13 points of damage. - Yeah, the archer closest to you is quickly feathered by two arrows taking good amount of damage. He is not happy about that. He looks like he's in significant amount of pain. - Arcane shot. I'm gonna make it explode. - Oh no. - Firsting arrow, I mean.

which is 2d6. Sorry, I just want to take this guy down ASAP. I want to pee in this room and make it known that this is Kyborg's room. Five. I was wondering where you were going to go with that. I didn't know where that sentence was ending. I was like, do you have to go to the bathroom? Do you want to finish this fight? Hey, if you were Barbara to show up in a place and four other women were dressed in the same clothes as you, you would want to do a dance move and be like, I'm the

number one no i would be like hell yeah ladies looks like we all have taste all right well blaine just invented toxic femininity

Women supporting women. I know nothing about this. Unless they're trying to kill me, then it might be a different story. They're trying to kill you. Okay. Well, then I would definitely prove myself the best. Okay. Yeah. So you do a total of 30 points of damage to the archer who is still standing despite your best effort, but he is much worse for the wear. Okay. And then to finish off, I have movement that I'm just going to kind of move to a corner, like to distance myself as much as I can from that.

Do you want to back up into the corner you entered from? Like the most northwest corner, I assume? Because that would be the closest one to you. As long as it's not an a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a

I think from a strategic perspective, it would make the most sense for you to retreat back to the northwest door because that's the door you came in from. That's more of a known quantity. So I'm going to say you move back into that corner. Then that is where I will be. And that is the end of my turn. Bart, you are up, then an enemy, and then mud.

Would you say all of these archers are like bunched up together? Like how far apart are they from each other and us right now? They're probably roughly 10 to 15 apart from each other. They burst in from windows all around the room, from different windows. Okay. From you guys, I'd say it's probably also 10...

to 15 feet from you all, except for Kaiborg, who has retreated back up into the corner. So a metagame question. If I were to go over to their side of the room where they're kind of more focused and cast something out from me that maybe has about a 15-foot radius on that, would I hit... She's trying to cast Thunderwave without murdering us. Would I hit my party? Well, just to clarify, none of your enemies are really bunched up. They're all pretty evenly spaced out around the room. Okay.

Okay. So you could do that, but you would probably only get one of them at any given moment. Okay. Bart cast Crop Dust. Even if I stood, like, between two of the archers and cast Thunder Wave because it's 15 feet out. That seems fair. I feel like I could hit two of them. If I were the DM, I would let that slide. Yeah. Does Blaine allow it? So it's a 15-foot cube originating from you, not that it goes out 15 feet from you. So are you talking radius or diameter? Exactly. That's what I'm getting at. Hmm.

So it's like a radius effect, not a diameter effect. So seven and a half out from you. Exactly. If you do it out from you. So only... Okay. Yeah. So 13's the diameter. 15. 15's the diameter. But if you said they're about 10 feet away from each other, I would hit two of them. Okay.

If you stood next to one, yeah. If I stood in between two of them. Oh, no, because it originates from you. Right, right, because radius would be seven and a half. A lot of math. I was thinking of like if you could like, if you can pick where the cube lands, you can. Yeah, but if I stood in between them and I went seven feet that way, seven feet that way. Oh, yeah, then you'd get them. Then I'd hit two of them. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's math, Gus. Didn't you go to Rice, bro? Come on.

You guys crack me up. Blaine loses an inspiration die? Weird. That would work. That's legitimately. You would be able to hit two of them. Okay. Well, because I'm invisible, I'm going to go sneak in between two of them. Yeah. And cast Thunder Wave. Just to be safe, make a stealth check with advantage. You got it. Well, that's a one, so that doesn't count because I'm lucky. So my first roll is a 26.

And then a 22. Pretty good rolls. Okay, so you stealthily make your way through the room. Do you want to include the archer that Kyborg had already shot, or do you want to go after two fresh archers? Probably the one he already shot. Okay, so you're going to go after that one, and then the one closest to it. Finish him! And then you're going to cast Thunderwave? Thunderwave, yes. Thunderwave! I was thinking the same thing. Yeah.

They must make a constitution saving throw, which for them, they have plus zero. Lucky you. Nice. I'm going to make that roll right now before you go any further. The save is 14, it looks like, on your character sheet. 14, yeah. Don't make it, don't make it, don't make it, don't make it. 15 and two. So the first one does save, but the second one fails. Okay. They're by the windows, right? Wouldn't it push them back?

It does. I think it pushes them back. I think if it hits. It pushes them 10 feet away from you on a fail safe. It says on a successful save, the creature takes half as much damage and isn't pushed. Yes. But on a failed save, a creature takes 2d8 thunder damage and is pushed 10 feet. So Archer 1 will take half damage, but Archer 2 will take the damage and be pushed. Archer 1's already damaged to heck, so that's fine. God damn it. Correct.

i rolled a total of five inspiration i don't have an inspiration inspiration dies at d20 just a reminder oh yeah if you roll a d20 okay right i was gonna offer you my inspiration is that uh legal is that is that uh wizard no sure whatever

So you roll a total of five points of damage on your Thunder Wave? Yeah, it's a one and a four on my two d8s. All right, so half of that is two. So the first one takes two points of damage and the second one takes the full five and is pushed 10 feet away from you further down into the room or like sideways along the wall.

- Hmm, does that break your invisibility? - Most video game rules, if you attack, you get out of invisibility, but I have no idea about D&D. - No, all the video games I play, that doesn't happen, John. - The spell ends for a target that attacks or casts a spell. - Okay, so now I'm not invisible anymore? - Correct. - Okay. - So Bart. - I cast under wave and then appear.

Sneakily maneuvers himself between two archers. A deafening clap of thunder emanates, pushing one of the archers away and barks.

pops into existence in the room. I like to think Thunderwave sounds like the sound bombs from episode two that I just saw Blaine's eyes light up. Is it from Slave 1 that he drops them out of? No, it's not the Slave 1 anymore. It's called the fire spray. It's the same as the fire spray. Okay, yeah. The little...

I also, this is an important detail about Bart in my turn. The second he pops back into existence, he does that thing where it's like as if he's naked and like covers his like crotch and chest and he goes, ah, even though he's fully dressed. Is that because Bart takes off all of his clothes when he uses invisibility just to make sure? It's not necessary, but Bart just likes it. Helps him be stealthy. His clothes don't make noise, you know, a little...

Exactly. He also knows that he looks good without his clothes on. Right. Okay, so is that it for Barty Boy? Yes. That's a good move. Okay. Next up, we've got Spectral. Then after Spectral, we have Mud. Spectral's eyes narrow as he surveys the room. Who's he going to attack? He attacks the door again. Okay.

I'm going to roll a d4 and then it's going to be alphabetically between you guys. Gum Gum, he's going to go after Gum Gum. He knows from your travels together that Gum Gum can give out quite a bit of damage. Probably the most of anyone in the party, way more than Kyborg. Go after me, I'm the strong one. That's the dumbest thing you've ever said. Never mind, it's got to be the strong one.

So you see, you know, the dagger that was in the doorframe teleport into Spectral's hands and he's holding both of them once again. So he's possessed by Paralite right now, basically, is under our understanding, right? Perhaps. That is what you said. That's our understanding. Okay. And Paralite is voiced by our friend Hannah McCarthy, who also played a character in RVB who had reappearing daggers, correct? Yes.

Go on. That was it on purpose? I think that's a fun little connection. It's like six degrees of bacon, but six degrees of daggers. Six degrees of Bernie.

Mudcast DMCA takedown. All right. Spectral readies the blades and throws one at Gum-Gum. Gum-Gum catches it with his teeth. And licks it. And licks it. Gum-Gum, it seems like the dagger is flying straight at you. Go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw. Okay. Oh, it's not even an attack roll. Good.

I have advantage on this. You have advantage? On deck saves. Oh, you're right, because of your danger sense, right? Yeah, 15. Kyborg, what are you doing? Why is Kyborg right? I'm just saying I would have made an 18, all right? I'm just saying. You just had to know. I thought you were Gus. I groaned because I thought he rolled an 18. No, no, that's not me. It's really weird, Gum-Gum. The dagger was going straight for you. You had to dodge, and at the last second, you were able to evade it. It was really scary. Whoa, I know, Gung-Flu. I know.

Spectral's eyes narrow. And then once again, he throws a dagger at you. Make another dexterity save. Now we see if you're the real Keanu. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. That's a 20. Okay, and then once again, it misses you. Hmm, what's he going to do then? Probably cry. What you going to do with all that junk? What you going to do? All that junk inside a truck.

As you're watching, Spectral seems to, like, fade into the background of the room. It's very difficult to see him. Where'd he go? You don't know. You're going to have to see if you can find him. Mud, it's your turn. That used to be a power that Nightcrawler from the X-Men have, but they don't really exercise that anymore in the comics anymore. Anyways, Mud is going to cast...

You're going to look around the room. The four archers are still spread around the room. Two of them have been moved by Thunderwave, correct? One of them was moved by Thunderwave. One of them was moved by Thunderwave. But they're all kind of still around the room, right? Scattered? Yes, correct. All right. Mud casts Conjure Animals and conjures eight swarms of ravens, two swarms each going to each archer and surrounding them. Nevermore. Nevermore.

Okay, and what does that do to them? Well, now I have eight swarms of ravens in the field who all have to roll initiative. Oh, God, you're making this a nightmare for me. You just told us in the beginning of this session, hey, guys, we got to be going faster during these sessions. No more doors, please. Can I simplify it? And just since I want to just keep them each on Archer, can I just roll four initiatives? They only can do one move, and so I can get through their moves really quickly. Sure. What we can do is we can also simplify it where they'll all go right after.

Sure, if you want to do that, I'm fine with that. Yeah, let's do that. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. So I have to put them in my initiative order here. They're all swarming each of those archers, which is an ability they have. They can occupy the same space. What was that spell? Was it conjure animal? Conjure animals. It's my big old new third spell slot spell. And I can conjure, if they're a CR rating of one quarter, I can conjure eight of them.

And so swarm of ravens is a quarter. And so I have swarm of ravens. This is like when your friend's dad shows up to soccer practice with a new van and everyone's like, oh, hey, new thing, right? I figured this was a smart move for archers. If they've got two swarms of raven around them, they're not going to really be able to do a lot of archering. I bet they'll be at disadvantage. Anyways, I'm just going to roll their beak attacks, which is just, that's the attack. It's called beaks.

and i'm gonna roll for why do we do them two at a time okay this is for the first one uh they rolled a 14 and a 19. those both hit okay i will roll 2d6 damage so i'll just roll 4d6 i can't see what that is uh what is that 10 10 10. there's a dice that landed on the number um okay so 10 damage to that archer

This is a crazy attack. You're about to deal, wow. So that's Archer 1 who had already been injured by Kyborg. So Archer 1 falls down lifeless. Oh.

He's killed by birds. I'm pulling a full Moira Rose from Schitt's Creek, and this is the birds. What was hers? The crow? The crowvening? I don't know. Next guys roll a 13 and a 16. They both hit. Okay, so that's another 4d6. Thank God I can just roll all these dice all at once. That's another 12 points of damage.

to that Archer 2. Okay. Archer 2 is doing his best tippy-hedron impression. There you go. Next guy rolls. Next two are a 21 and a 17. Those both hit. And they do 16 points of damage. I hate this spell. Okay. I love this spell. I hate this spell.

I can't cast it a lot, so I'll tell you that. That one only rolled an eight and then a 19. Okay, only one of those hits. Okay, so that's 2d6. So that's five. Okay. And then just as a bonus action, I cast Hidden Step and I'm invisible until my next turn.

I mean, Gus was saying wrongly that Gum-Gum was the strongest. Everyone knows that Kyborg is the strongest. I think Mud might be that scary. I noticed the only person you didn't mention is Bart. That's cool. Well, no, because they mentioned it, but we all know secretly... Mm-hmm.

That Bart is the Nick Fury, the smartest and the strongest. I'm just kidding. Look at that backpedaling. I'm okay not being strong. I'm okay being smart and sneaky. You're the heart of the team. And sexy. Do you know what Bart is? Bart's the one that can actually like talk to people because Bart has like the ability to roll intelligence rolls and like investigation checks and stuff like that because we're all negative and Bart's like...

And Bart's the one that actually has a brain. Chris, your turn. Compliment Bart. I like Bart. Bart's my friend. He and Gum-Gum, we don't even need to compliment each other. Yeah. I'm just catching up on episodes, and every single time my character ever tries to persuade anybody, I immediately regret it because then Gus tells me to roll persuasion, and I'm just, like, terrible at it. You could invest some skill points in that. Would love skill points. Next level up. No, he's too busy feeding his bird spells.

You're like Rick and Morty. Yeah, you're not very persuasive because you're a weird bird person. Yeah. So just to clarify, the swarm of ravens looks like their AC 12 and their hit points is 24. Yeah, we can just go off that. I often roll for whatever animals I do, but I don't want to roll for eight different animals. So yeah, we'll go with 24. Okay, cool.

- Cool. Is there anything else you want to do Mud? - Nope, I'm good. I'm invisible and just, I'm leaning back against the wall. - Okay. That's right, you did hidden step. Gum gum. - Okay.

I'm going to rage, and I'm going to roll my d8 to see what my little rage does. Your jack-jack power. Yeah, that's an 8, which means a bolt of light shoots from your chest. Another creature of your choice that you can see within 30 feet of you must succeed a constitution-saving throw or take 1d6 radiant damage and be blinded until the start of your next turn. Until your rage ends, you can use this effect again on each of your turns as a bonus action. Wonderful.

Wow. Gum Gum learned Repulsor Ray from Iron Man. You said Sleek disappeared? You could try to make a perception check to see if you see him. Okay. I'm going to do that. And it was a spectral, just for clarification. Sorry. Everybody just wants to hit Sleek. That's a seven, so I'm going to guess now. He said he took care of Sleek. I don't know what that means. Maybe he's just incapacitated. He probably gave him some chamomile tea and, like, some CBD gummies. And then stabbed him in the face. And then stabbed him. Yeah.

He gets his kicks from having people when they're their most relaxed. Drew him a bath. Give him a little massage. Yeah.

No, Gum-Gum, you cannot see where Spectral is. Okay. Then I guess I'll blast whatever of the four archers that's like... There's three remaining. Which one is the least damaged? They all took a significant amount of damage. Only one of the archers was attacked by one flock of ravens. The other ones were attacked by two. So if you're going to go after the one that's least damaged, I would say it would be that one. Okay, I'll blast that one.

Anyway, I started blasting. Chris says blast like Danny DeVito from It's Always Sunny. Yeah. Blast. GumGum has a gun. Gun gun. Gun gun. So he needs to make a constitution saving throw. I'm double checking. Constitution is plus zero, 11. Mine's 16. It's eight plus your proficiency bonus plus your constitution modifiers. So it's a fail. So yeah, you rolled your 1d6 radiant damage. And then what, blinded? Yes. Blinded.

By the Light? Five. Yeah, I did better than the summer of the night. Barbara's favorite song. Knows all the lyrics. Every single one. Yeah.

You know what? I commend you for coming in with the melody, not knowing any of the words. Grabbed up like a something. I can't remember. Ripped up like a deuce. Oh, it's a deuce? Okay. Yeah. He's blinded until the start of your next turn, Gum-Gum. Cool. Can I then run to one of the other archers and try and shove him out the window? Cool.

Sure. I'll say it would have to be Archer 3 because Archer 2 was pushed by Thunder Wave, so it's no longer by the window. Okay. So that's like a strength test? Yeah. We'll do like a grapple check and a post strength check. So make a strength check and the Archer will oppose you with dexterity to try to like get out of the way.

I just want to point out again that GumGum at the beginning of this campaign hugged all of our enemies. He's now pushing a man out of a window. I have advantage on strength checks when raging, so that's a 23. Okay. The archer has a plus four on this roll. One. So five. He critical failed. That's, I mean, he's going out that window, Gus. He's gone. Yeah. We'll say that he does go out the window. I wrote down notes about falling. Hold on. He just jumps out the window. What?

Yeah, his pants fall down. He stumbles backwards. Can we get a Wilhelm scream? Yeah. Put a Wilhelm scream in there. Yeah, he goes out the window and you hear screaming.

Okay. See, in my headcanon, Gum-Gum didn't think he committed murder. He just saw that guy come in through there, so he thinks that's his home. So he's just returning him to his home. He just sent him back. And then for my second action, there's only one by a window now? Yeah, the one you shoved out. Okay. Oh, I guess the one that's blinded is also by a window. Okay. Do I have a general idea where Sleek is? I mean, you know where he was when you lost track of him by the door, but that's about it. Spectral. Yeah, spectral. Yeah, sorry. Okay. Okay.

Then I'll go to the other Evergard and make friends with them with my axe. The other archer? The one that's not blinded. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Would the ravens follow him out the window? No. I mean, they could, but they fly. But they listen to my command. Okay. They don't just, like, follow whatever I tell them to attack. They disperse to the other enemies, right? I mean, how long do they stay around? You tell me. An hour up with concentration. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

So that's a 27? A 27 is a hit, GumGum. All right. I'm just going to have, at the end of this fight, eight swarms of raven just circling me. It's just all of us are drenched in bird crap. Yeah, no one's going to be able to hear anything. We can't talk. It's the HEB on the sunset. That's even better. They're all just going to all land on me, and so I'm just going to be cloaked in ravens. That's cool. That's cool.

That's an 11 with my rage. So you run up to one of the other archers, strike him with your greataxe, doing 11 points of damage.

He is still up, but is looking definitely worse for wear. I need community art of Mud absolutely covered, except for his eyes in Ravens. Just a being of Ravens. That's so cool. And that's my turn. I am Mud, the Raven God. Bow down to me and feed me bread.

Hey everyone, don't forget, please give us a follow on social media at StinkyDragonPod on Twitter and Instagram. Maybe if you have some fan art you want to send us, maybe about mud being surrounded by swarms and swarms of ravens, send that our way using hashtag StinkyDragonPod and

And we'll take a look. We'll interact. And it's really a great way for podcasts to spread is word of mouth on social media. Want to give a shout out to some of our voice actors. Spectral is voiced by our very own Christian Young. And making a return as Brink Tussler is the one and only Eric Badour. We've got some new merch. Want to plug that real fast. We have a mug made with art that was sent by a Reddit user, Rarzu. It's great. It's Gum Gum and Bart in a very cute animated style. I think it's awesome.

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Go to bit.ly slash ship hits the fan to subscribe or click on the link in the description. This podcast is supported by FX's English teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of what we do in the shadows and baskets. English teacher follows Evan.

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All right, it's the archer's turn. Then after that, it's going to be Kyborg. Hmm, well, there's only one of them's blinded. And then the other one is right next to Gum-Gum. And a bunch of birds. And a bunch of birds. Well, what's the best approach here?

I like that, like, this takes us 10 minutes to spell out what happens, but really this all happened in a matter of, like, 45 seconds. So, like, an arrow exploded and then, like, gum-gum pushing out a window and then there's birds everywhere. No, no, no. Then a halfling appears and farts people across the room. Yeah, just, like, everything just happens. Yeah, every round is six seconds. So from Kyborg's action through the end of these archers, whatever they're about to do, all of this happened in six seconds. They also haven't attacked yet.

He won't do it, but I want to hear, like, Micah edit together the audio version of the, what, 30 seconds of just, boom! Ah! Ah!

It's just somebody on their keyboard, their synthesizer set to sound effects, mashing all the keys of their keyboard. Exactly. It's like Gene from Bob's Burgers. Yeah. Okay. The one that you ran up to and hit Gum Gum pulls out a dagger and tries to attack you with it. Okay. A dagger. Very calm about that. Love it.

A lot of daggers going at Gum Gum. It was almost a 20. But it was an 8. That's an 8 plus 4, 12. That is not hit. That is not hit. That's okay, Gus. It's going to try one more time. Okay. Go ahead, little guy. Go ahead. Ugh. Six, which is definitely a miss. I'm sorry. It's okay. Okay. The other archer who's blind is going to try to make an attack. I believe blinding gives disadvantage. I'm going to double check. I would.

- I would think so. - Isn't he surrounded by birds too? - He's surrounded by ravens also. - Dude, Gus, come on. You would never in a million years let any of us attack. You would be like, "That's ridiculous. You're blind and surrounded by birds." - You haven't heard what I said they're gonna do. I'm trying to clarify the blind attack before I continue with it. - Forgive me, sorry. - God, all these backseat DMs jumping down my throat today. - I'm just listening like a good player. - I'm not. - Thank you. Inspiration die for Barb.

That's the first inspiration for not saying something. Teacher's pet. Teacher's pet.

Okay. The blinded archer is going to make an attack. I'm rolling twice. We're going to take the lowest one because it's at disadvantage. Nine. That's a miss. Nope. Okay. You see the blinded archer knock and try to fire an arrow at the birds that are swarming around it, but it fails to connect. And the arrow lodges itself into the ceiling. What's up?

I was hoping it would hit near me so I could take it and then shoot it back at him. In a panic, he tries one more time. Don't you shoot my birds, you dummy. Nine. That's also a miss. It's okay, John. A second arrow flies and embeds itself into the ceiling as well as he screams, trying to swat birds away from his face. That's all of them. Yes. Six seconds have passed and now it comes back to Kyborg. Then after Kyborg is barked.

Okay, so, and I can't see where Spectral is, right? Make a perception check. Is this going to be an action of any sort doing this? Okay. Nope. Six. Nope, you do not see Spectral. I don't think so. All right. Um...

We have two archers left. One of them's blinded, correct? Correct. And then the other one, Gum-Gum, is attacking with his axe. Okay. I guess I'll go for the blinded one. I'm going to shoot him. I'm going to try him. Watch out. That's an 18. That connects. Doing 10 points of damage. It is not his day. He didn't even see it coming.

How's he looking? So good. He's still up. He's, you know, taking a bit of damage. Not looking great, but he's still swatting at birds. Okay. Hey, gals. How you looking? So good. So good.

- Sure. - Arrowed. - All right, I'm gonna hit him again with the old longbow, a trihump. - 15? - Yes, that hits. - All right, doing another 12 points of damage. - Wow. - He is definitely not looking great. - Like how bad is it? - Pretty bad, pretty bad, not gonna lie. - Nah, I'm not gonna use my hurricane shot. It's not worth it. Gus is trying to bait me. I won't give in. And then with that, I am complete.

Kaiborg done. I am complete. So what's our status right now of everybody? I see we're talking about the enemies. Yeah. Spectral is unknown. One archer is dead. Another archer is pretty weak.

One of the archers got shoved out the window and the other archer is also really weak and currently blind. And blind, okay. Do you want to see if you can see Spectral? I don't know if I have anything that would help me with that. Well, GumGum rolled a perception check. Okay. Yeah, you can just make a perception check to see if you see. Oh, okay, yeah. Let me do that to see if I can see him. Yeah, go for it. And 14. That's not bad. Rolled an eight. You just had to beat their stealth roll, I'm assuming, because Gus rolled after I rolled. Yep. No, you do not see Spectral.

- Spectral the nine. - He probably has a modifier on that. - Yep. - No, I guess it's cheating. 100% guess it's cheating. - No, you have no idea where Spectral currently is. - But do we think he's in the room somewhere? - You have no idea. - He disappeared into the shadows. - That's a good movie. - The Shadow? - I love that movie. - I don't think I've ever seen that. Was that Al Baldwin? - It's so cool, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah.

If I did something, I don't think this would work, because it'd be a minor illusion to have, like, powder fall from the ceiling, and if it would sprinkle over wherever Spectral was.

No, because it's an illusion. It doesn't actually physically interact. Right, right, right. But would a illusion cause light? It could, I think. I think an illusion could light up a room. Could Bart reveal the room in bright glory? You can create a sound or an image of an object. That's it. So no, you cannot create light. Yeah. Didn't know. I guess prestidigitation can do that. Strange word. Prestidigitation.

I guess I will try to take out old blindy. Okay. I'm just going to try to hit him with my dagger. Keep it simple. Okay. Bart's going to run up there, scurry up, pull out his dagger. Keep it simple. Do a stab. Yeah. Do a murder. Do a murder. Oh, it looked like it was on the 10. That's a 15. 15's going to hit. It still hits. Okay. Doing...

Eight points of damage. Nice. Good stab. Yeah, Bart isn't used to handling a dagger. Not normally his method of operation, his preferred MO. But he pulls out the dagger, scurries up to the archer, and buries it into his neck, severing his windpipe. Oh my god!

and the archer falls down, the blood gurgling in his throat as he dies. He says, ah, et tu, Bartus? That was graphic. I was just thinking I would just do like, hyah! And then all of a sudden he would like burst into like smoke, you know? Nope. Just disappears. Kyborg calls out like, Bart, calm it down. It's all right. Bart is a cold-blooded killer. You all wonder if you should be sleeping with one eye open. Bart turns around and all of a sudden his eyes are glowing red and he goes, you're next.

Delicious. One archer down, one more to go. Wait, is he talking about me or the Evergard? Oh, God.

Anything else you want to do, Bart? And then could I move back to be further away from the other archer? Yeah. The other one was the one that got shoved by your thunder wave anyway. So that one's a little further out of the way. Okay. I'll just end my turn here. All right. It is Spectral's turn. Then after Spectral is Mud and then a million ravens. Is this going to give away where he is? One can hope. We'll see what happens. Bart, make me a...

Constitution saving throw. Don't like that. With advantage. With advantage. I like that.

Okay, well, that's a 10. And then, oh my God, a six. We'll take the 10 because you have advantage. You're standing there feeling pretty triumphant and a powder appears in front of you all around your face and you inhale it. As you inhale it, your vision slowly collapses to small little points of light and then pops out and all you can see is darkness. Oh my God. I'm guessing that was probably spectral.

It's just allergies. Bard, dare to say no. Resist the drugs. I have advantage against being poisoned. Does that help? Or is that why you asked me to roll with advantage? That's why you rolled with advantage. Okay. Would a potion of healing do anything to that? Or is that only for my HP? It's not your turn, though. It's not your turn, right? And as far as you know, potions of healing only are effective for restoring HP.

Well, I guess I can't do anything anyways because it's not my turn. Not your turn. I will sit here blind, holding my dagger. I'll just swing it around me like this as I'm blinded. While you're also blinded, Spectral's going to go ahead and take advantage of the situation and make an attack against you. What's it they say about an eye for an eye? An eye for an eye. Spectral tries to attack you. You just need to make a dexterity saving throw with disadvantage because you're blind. Well, it's a 21 and then a gulp.

11. 11. You sure you said disadvantage or this advantage? Yeah, there we go. That's more like it. I'm scared. I'm blind and something is attacking me, guys. I don't feel so good. I was going to say, maybe he's just rolling for tickling you and you're deck saving to see if you get tickled. Somehow I feel this possessed killer right here in my face.

I have other motives. You feel a sharp stabbing pain as a dagger slices at you, doing, oh my god, 12 points of damage. That's still a lot. He rolled three d8s and got one on two of them, so. 117. It was gracious. You got off easy on that one. I still got 12 points of damage on my little tiny halfling body. That is all.

So we have mud. Before you're able to act mud, once again, you hear a voice coming from downstairs shouting. Hey, Thunderskulls. Nice. Help me, please. If you can hear me, help me, please. Like I mentioned previously, it sounds like Brink Tussler down there. If he gets that archer I threw out the window. Don't answer him.

Can Mud look around to see if there is a latch or a door or a button or a hole? The voice is coming up from the stairs that lead down seemingly to a lower level. Oh. Yeah, you don't know. All you know is that the voice is coming up from below the stairs. It's a trick. And the stairs are located in what direction of the room? They are in the

eastern portion of the room. Kind of opposite from where you walked in. Oh, okay. Because we were, what, northwest? Yeah. Where is Sleek and Bart right now? Bart is by that archer that he killed. You still can't see Sleek. Oh. Can I look for Sleek? I'm sorry. Spectral. Oh my god. We keep saying Sleek. Spectral. Spectral. Spectral. Spectral. Spectral. 12. 12. Bad perception rolls. You do not see Spectral. We keep saying Sleek because we wish that we were going to fight with Sleek right now.

Well, the problem is you say sleek and then I say it. I know it's spectral. Okay, then there's one archer left? Correct. Yes, there's one. Okay. And I look at him and I cast poison spray. Okay.

Oh my god, all these new spells. That sounds disgusting. Yeah, it's a cantrip. Is it? Yeah, it's a pretty powerful one too. You extend your hand towards a creature you can see within range and project a puff of noxious gas from your palm. The creature must succeed in a constitution saving throw or take, since I'm at the level I'm at, 2d12 poison. Wow, okay. Mud is speaking with a weird French accent and hitting on all the women. Yeah.

The Constitution save needed here is a 16. They have plus zero on Constitution, so here comes the roll. 16. Damn. So the tie goes to the runner, right? Yes. Okay. So they successfully save. I thought that was definitely not going to happen.

Okay. Then that's my turn, but I got birds. Yeah, you got so many birds. It's my turn, but I got birds. The guy is pretty beat up, right? Yeah, extremely beat up. Should I roll one swarm at a time until I kill him? Sure, why not? Okay. If you want to preserve your birds, I get it. Yeah, that's a 20. That hits. And I do eight points of damage. Yeah, he's dead. Okay. Okay.

And he's down. He got pecked and he's down. All right, so... You got seven swarms left. Oh, my God. What can they do? They have perception as well. Can I tell the next swarm? Look for spectral. Oh, there it is. Skills perception plus five. I see it. Whoa. Plus five. Yeah. Those are good birds. I guess roll it one at a time so we can see. 20. Roll one at a time through all of them and then I'm going to contest them. Oh.

Oh, so a 20 doesn't see him? Well, I'm going to contest them after you roll them all. Okay. You want me just to roll the other six then? Yes. 14, 6, 24, 8. Fly, my pretties. Find Spectrum for me.

Only one of your swarms is able to find it, and it's the first swarm that rolls. So your second swarm is able to find Spectral. The other six are not. Okay, where do they tell me where he is? He's still right behind Bart. Okay, then with that information, can I tell those seven swarms to attack Spectral?

The one that saw him can make an attack. The one that doesn't know where he is, since they're getting guidance, they can make attacks with disadvantage. Okay, I'll just do that. So I'll roll normal for first guy. Yes. Which is 15. Miss. Okay. And then disadvantage. That's going to be 11. Miss. Disadvantage. This is number four. That's four.

That's 15. Miss. This is number five. That's 15. Miss. This is number six. That's terrible. This is last one. Also terrible. So none of them hit? Mm-mm. Geez. None at all. Wait, wait. You only rolled five there. There's one more. One more. Come on. Come on, group six. Oh, that's an 18. There you go.

That one actually hits. 2d6. See, don't say I don't ever do anything for you. I pointed out you missed one. Six points of damage. So what does that look like to us? These birds hitting spectral? It seems like...

All seven birds are just like converged on one spot. Like they're attacking something you can't see. It's just like seven swarms of ravens. Like this space just gets cluttered with birds. It's like something out of a horror movie, just writhing mass of ravens pecking at invisible air until one of them finally does connect. How do a swarm of ravens attack? Claws?

Beaks. Beaks? Yeah. Okay. One of the swarms nip at him with their beaks and draw a little bit of blood. I mean, he's probably covered in blood and poo, right? I mean, you said he's blood, so like we can see the blood, right? We'll see. I don't think that's an action I could tell the Ravens to do just to poo on command. Bleed him. But I would like to, since they have like movement, I want to tell the ones that saw him to just swarm his exact space. Yeah.

Yeah. So now they are literally the target of, they are circling the target. Yes. Okay. And it'll help you guys find him as well. It's just six points of damage? Yep. 80 points of damage. Six points each beak, so we have to count the beaks. Right. And tell me times they peck.

Okay. Ow. Anything else? No, I'm done. You are done. Gum gum. And then archers. And then back to the topic, Kyborg. So I have my radiant chest blinding thing. Can I use that on sleek? Spectral. Can I use it on spectral? If you can see him. Can I see him now since I know where the birds are? Like he's surrounding, like his form is bird form, right? I'll say you can make another perception check and I'll give you advantage on it. Okay.

Okay. I think I broke the game. Ignore that one. Okay. We got two fours. It's impossible for him to fail that. I'll roll it anyway. Yeah, you don't see him. So I can't use my thing on him.

No. You know more or less where he is, but I believe the spell explicitly says a creature you can see. Yeah. Okay. Then I'm going to charge and recklessly attack him. Recklessly attack. So that gives you advantage, right? Yeah. But you don't know where he is exactly, which would normally give you disadvantage. So you would roll even, like just one d20. All right. I'll take it. Negative one plus one is zero. 16. 16. That actually connects. Yeah.

Thanks for the math there, John. The quick math. All right. So that's 10. 10 points of damage. Nice. You know, with the birds circling him, you have a vague idea of where Spectral is. And using that information, you're able to swing your great axe and connect. You know, you're kind of swinging at the air, but it bites and gives resistance. So you know that your strike was true. Okay. So do I know where he is now? No.

No. Okay. Then I'll attack again recklessly. Okay. That's another 16. That connects. So that's 17 points of damage. Did I read that right? 15 plus two, 17. Yes. Should we like say that all attacks now are with the intent of knocking out, not killing? That thing you do with D&D where you're like non-fatal attack?

You try to subdue? Yeah. You can. If you want to do that, I would suggest you read the rules on subdual damage, or I guess they call it non-lethal damage now. But yeah, you can do that if you want to. So an attacker who reduces a creature to zero hit points with a melee attack may choose to knock them out instead of kill them. Okay. So it has to be with melee only as the subdue? That's what it says. Okay. Okay.

That's fine. I think you could maybe call that... Like, I would let you know if the attack would get them to zero. Okay. So I'll give you the option if you get to the point where Spectral is going to drop to zero. It's like in Pokemon where you're trying to catch them by throwing a ball at them. You don't want to kill them. You've got to keep them right on that red level. Then you throw the Pokemon. Actually, there's a move in Pokemon called False Swipe that will take them down to one HP.

That's cool. Okay, Gum Gum, you did all that damage. I guess I still have a bonus action. Does the Acme box count as a bonus action or is that a full action? I believe that's a full action. Okay, never mind then. Gum Gum done? I'm done. Gum Gum done done. Gum Gum done done. Yeah, using the Acme box is an action. I'm excited for that to finally make an appearance. Of the party, who do you think holds the record for the longest turn?

I don't know. Good question. It's either Gum-Gum or Kyborg. Okay, that's it for Gum-Gum's turn? Gum-Gum's taking some long actions, if I recall.

I'm a wordsmith, all right? I paint a beautiful picture. Everyone except for Bart make me a perception check. Is that because I'm blind? It's because you're blind. I'm sorry, little Bart. Why bad perception checks today? Well, 15. 11. Gum-Gum's the only one who notices it, but the archer who was previously shoved out the window, you see an arm come back in through the window. That's so cool. And then another arm, and the archer pulls himself back up into the fray. Can we invite him to our party? That's awesome.

He looks at Gum-Gum, narrows his eyes and says, you can't get rid of me that quickly. Okay. He knocks an arrow and fires it at Gum-Gum. Oh, it was almost a 19-minute roll to a one. He's tired. Can he stumble back and trip out the window?

Didn't he roll a one when Gum-Gum pushed him? Did he? I think he did. Because we talked about his pants fell off and he just fell out the window. He did? Oh, Micah says yes. Okay, he did. This is the worst archer ever, but also like amazing for not falling out the window. Yeah. A really cool re-entrance, but as he's pulling his arm back before letting the arrow go, his elbow hits a piece of broken glass in the window and he yelps in pain. The arrow flies harmlessly at nothing. He

These are the worst archers ever. All of them. Yep. And he stumbles out the window. No, he's still in the room, but he doesn't get any more attacks because he rolled that one. He can't do anything else. Banana peel on the ground. He hurt himself. He has a boo-boo now. You okay? Oh.

- Kyborg, it's your turn. - He's right by the window, right? - He is still right by the window. - Say I were to shoot a bursting arrow, would that send him back out? - Oh no. - It doesn't say anything about like movement, but I mean, he's right there. He just critically failed. - You could shove him like I did. It's just a strength check. - But I think it'd be pretty cool if I like Falcon kicked. - Yeah, why not? We'll say if it's able to connect, why not? - Oh buddy, okay, all right.

Don't use this as precedent. I'm just playing along because I think it's funny. I appreciate that, and I will keep that in mind. I rolled a 25 for Longbow Triumph. Okay, that hits. And then I rolled a 9 for damage. Okay. And then now I'm going to roll an Arcane Shot. Sorry, I'll take an Arcane. That was an Arcane Shot, Bursting Arrow. Yeah. So do I need to roll for that or since it was already successful? Isn't there additional damage for that? 2d6. No, no, you don't roll like an attack yet. You just roll the damage. Yeah, sorry. It's like 101.

And then I do eight points of damage. Okay. He takes a significant amount of damage and I'll have him like roll to see if he can maintain his footing. No. So then, yeah, he loses his footing. And once again, it's shoved back out the window. Bye. So wait, but we got to be clear. So he still doesn't take enough damage to die. Has he?

We just keep pushing him out. Correct. No, he's still alive. He just got pushed. So there's a chance this man could come back. I just want to be like fully clear about that. Yeah, but he's going to look like an idiot. I mean, he's just like, he's, he's, uh, oh God. OJ from, uh, that top. What was it? Oh yeah. Uh, lethal, uh, lethal, uh, naked gun. Naked gun. Yeah. He just keeps almost dying, but yeah. All right. I have another attack, so I'm going to save that one. Uh,

I can see the birds that are attacking Spectral still. Is that the case? Correct. So I have a really good idea where Spectral is, I'm assuming. If you want to try to find him, I'll let you make a perception check with advantage to see if you're able to find him. That is a 14 and a, oh my God, 22. Oh yeah, he rolled a nat 20 and his stealth modifier is really high. You don't know. You know more or less where he is, but you cannot see him specifically. Okay. And how's the other archer looking? They're all dead.

except for the one that got shoved out. - They were all gone. That guy came in and then he went out again. - Yeah. - Okay, sorry. Then I'm gonna use my other attack on Spectral. And it's gonna be a non-lethal. It's a dulled arrow. - It's the dulled one. - It's the boxing glove arrow that I have stored for these special occasions.

- 16. - Okay, you have to actually attack at disadvantage because you don't know precisely where he is. - Okay, so that was a 16 and a 26. - 16 should land. - Okay, the 16 actually does connect. - And I roll a eight. - You hear a grunt of pain as Spectral is hit by your arrow. - Cool.

That's it. That's it for Kaibar. I bow. Okay. Up next, we have Mud and then a million ravens. It's my favorite band. Oh, wait. I'm sorry. Bart. Yeah, yeah. Bart. We have Bart. I was looking at Spectral because he got attacked. I thought maybe he just skipped over me because I'm blind. No. My bad. It is your turn, Bart. Am I still blind? Yes. You cannot see anything. Is there anything I could do to fix that? Yeah, if I could spit into his eyes. Are you Jesus? Yes.

He's just got powder in his eyes. I just need a lubricant. Oh, okay. Bart, make me a medicine check. It's elf spit. Medicine check. 17. Nice. You think you've been poisoned. So you need some kind of remedy for that. Elf spit. Hobbits are resistant. That's why she rolled. That's why she had advantage. Could I use my suspenders of haggling with my own eyes? No.

Alright guys, time to buckle up. Get back in there, get to work. Put your eyes to the grindstone. I don't think I have anything for poison. Do you have any spells that don't require sight that you can utilize? Uh, probably. But a lot of it is you do this to a creature you can see. That's what I'm saying. I was asking if there's any spells you had that didn't have that necessity.

Although Spectral hasn't moved, right? Right. Since attacking Bart, Spectral's also been getting hit and he just said Spectral made a sound. Right. Yeah. So I should know, I should be able to echolocate where this guy is, right? Nice. Bart, do me a favor. Make me a history check. The history of where this man has been. Oh,

Oh man, a 15. It was almost a nat 20. - You think you remember something that could be useful. You think you remember mud might have something to help you with this condition. - Bart like does the thing where he's waving his hands around going, "Mud, Mud I'm blind, help me."

Look at your inventory. I'm looking at my spells and inventory. Is it berries? The berries? That's what I was looking at right now. They just restore one hit point and nourishment to sustain a creature for one day. You have nothing against poison? I have an elixir of health. Oh, it cures any disease afflicting you. It removes blind and deaf and paralyzed. It's literally the first item in your inventory and it's blue.

I forget, like, with, like, different terminology, like elixir, it determines something different than just hit points. Mm-hmm. Micah's pointing out that this is a throwback. You've had this since episode two. The chest is unlocked. Inside, there are three potions. Two of them appear to be potions of healing, and the other one appears to be an elixir of health. Medo will hold on to the elixir of healing. Elixir of health. Health. And Gum-Gum will hold on to the chair. Oh! Wow! Yeah!

I was about to say like, oh, don't worry. I'll take care of myself. You hold on to it when you really need it. But if you've been holding it for the last time too. Mud plays this game like I play RPGs where I just hoard all of my inventory. I think most people do that. Yeah. Like I'm playing Elden Ring and I have just so much stuff. Well, because you never know when you might need something. Mud has to check the expiration date before he hands it over to Barley. It's just rotten. Um.

How can we... Can Bart come and take it from me? Can I give it to Bart? It's not my turn. I don't know how you resolve this. Well, Bart called out to you. I would say you could reply. Then Bart could try to, like, stumble over to you and get it from you. What if you, like, roll it on the floor? It's in my back left pocket if you just want to grab it. Do I have consent before I... Yeah. And here, I'll even... I'm over here. Woo-hoo!

Bart stumbles his way through with his hands out in front of him towards Mutt's hoo-hoos. A cloud of ravens picks Bart up and takes him over to Mutt. It's like, it's just...

Wasn't there an episode of The Simpsons where Homer gets like a murder of crows to help him out and like he commands them? Oh, that's so funny. I don't know, but these murder of crows have been murdering. Yeah. Wow, that's hilarious. Mud is playing like some kind of echolocation, like Marco Polo with you. And with your hands out, you make your way over to Mud and start fumbling through his backpack.

We'll say, Bart, make a dexterity check. Dexterity check? Yeah. So you're going around through his bag. It's a 19. Nice. Yeah, you're able to grab hold of an elixir. Hannibal's in there and just hands it to her. This is going to say, Bart has familiar hands when it comes to mud. Yeah, I go through all of his stuff every night. Yeah, I was going to say, it's just my backpack. Mud's a curious little halfling. Or Bart's a curious little halfling. Yeah. All right.

Mind if I drink this? Go for it. Bart can't see this, but everyone else can see that Bart pulls out an elixir. It's like a clear red liquid with tiny bubbles of light in it. He pulls it up, puts it to his lips, and quaffs it. Bart, as you're drinking it, as it's still going down your throat, those little tiny points of light that your vision disappeared to grow back out, and your vision comes back into focus. Ooh!

I'm going to delete that from my inventory. Barco's, ah, thank Daya. I can see again. And he starts kissing the ground. The ground? You're now prone. As if he just got off a plane that was about to crash and was so happy to be alive. Michael said, nice Daya reference. Thank you. Thank you. Holy Daya. Is that? That's not my whole turn, is it? Probably. Yeah.

I mean, you moved, you searched, you opened a drink and took it. Did you have something else in mind? We can negotiate. I was just going to try to get to Spectral, maybe cast a spell on him. Ben is saying that we have ruled drinking a potion for yourself as a bonus action in the past. So I think Ben is arguing that you should still have an action. So I'll give it to Ben. Yeah. Why not? Okay.

Although I might not be able to do it based on what I have to do. Do I have to try to do a perception check to find Spectral, or do I have a good idea where he is? You've got to make a perception check, but you would have advantage. Okay, there's 16, and then there is 9, so 16. Mm-mm, you do not know where Spectral is exactly. But have a general understanding for disadvantage if you did an attack. Correct. With the birds being there, you have a general idea. If you wanted to attack, you would have disadvantage, like John said.

I attempt to cast sleep on him. Like if I send it in that direction. What's the requirements of sleep? Like as far as seeing or touching? I believe it's an area. An area, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. It doesn't say you can see.

And then you roll the dice and just see HP. Yeah. So does that mean sleep gets more advantageous the more damaged a creature gets in a battle? So sleep happening at the end of a battle has more chance of it working. Correct. And also, if you use it at a higher spell slot, you can roll additional hit die to cover more people.

I just curious, like sleep doesn't require, isn't always against their max HP. It's their current HP. Correct. Exactly. Okay, cool. So sleep spectral has been hit. So this might actually be pretty effective. Correct. Nice. You want to roll your 5d8? Yes, I do. One second before you rolled that.

I do want to point something out. You're more than welcome to do this. However, you do run the risk of affecting the ravens instead because you don't choose specific creatures. You pick a point and then it affects the creatures in that area in ascending order of their current hit points. Really? Yes. God, we've never gone off of that way. I think we've never really encountered a situation where we have multiple enemies or multiple targets in an area like that.

And or with mixed in like friendly and unfriendly. In the past, I think it's like a group of unfriendly people. So I've really never pointed it out. I say go for it. Wait, but wait. So does that mean that it would try to affect, you said ascending order as in? Ascending. It would go from lowest hit points to highest hit points. So it would probably go for the, unless Spectral is under 24 hit points. We don't know. So that it would go at the Ravens. And you don't know. Your call.

I really don't want to mess up your ravens. They're pretty great. I have eight swarms of them, so even if you put, like, one of them to sleep, we still got options. I'll give it a shot. Yeah, let's see. Maybe we'll luck out and Spectral's below 24. So he says 5d8? 5d8. Here we go. That's a total of 10. Whoa!

What a bad roll. What did you roll? I rolled two, a four, a one, a one, and a two. Wow. That's pretty low. That's got to be one of the worst rolls I think I've ever had in this game. Hey, you're just snapping out of like being blinded. Like, it's all right. It's okay. That's true. Yeah, Micah says, I really don't want to mess up your ravens is a good quote. Yeah, 10. You cast sleep, but nothing really seems to happen.

Okay. But now you're not blinded, so at least something was advanced. Yes. Nat gain. Is that it for you, Barty Boy? It's that for me, Barty Boy. It is Spectral's turn, who is still surrounded by ravens. Like I said, one of the smaller ravens lies down and watches Netflix.

Spectral pops back into existence, still surrounded by ravens. Oh, dang. Says, you fools. You were never going to win. Haven't you learned by now? I am always a few steps ahead. And you hear, kaboom! Sustenu-toh!

A clamorous chord echoes across the canopy and everything freezes in place. Splintered shrapnel, plumes of smoke, and blazing flames are all suspended in midair as a familiar melody reverberates all around you. A bloodstained sleek hobbles into the doorway, barely clutching a shimmering lute. With every pluck of the strings, his face winces in agony. I don't know how long I can hold this up.

Get everyone to safety. There's not much time. Mud beelines to the stairs. You go down the stairs and you see a cage with some people in it. You see Brink, Sordo, the Triune, the Alpha Sturge, and some elderlings in it. And little Jimmy? What is he doing here? Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

And the archer that fell out the window. And you were there? And you were there? And you were there? Just to be clear, the archer did not make his deck save the second time he was shoved out. So he's probably splattered on the ground below. Yeah, that's awesome. Can I... Is the cage... I assume it's got to be locked, right? Yeah, you see a small lock on it. Kajiburk, we need some lockpicking. Coming up!

Quick. I mean, do I, is this an appropriate time to do this? Because like, sleek. Well, we need to get these people out before the... All right. I use Steve's tools, which would be what? Sleight of hand? Yeah, sleight of hand.

Eleven. The lock looks like it's actually damaged from some exploding shrapnel frozen in midair, so you're able to easily pick the lock. Aha! Master lock picker, Kaibor, at your service. Right this way. Bring Tesla. Nice to see you again. Oh, thanks. Took you long enough. Okay. All right. All right. You want to get back in the cage? Are we going to start like this? No!

Brink, Sordo, the Alphastarge, the Elderlings, and the Triune. Most of them begin quickly moving up the stairs. The Triune and the Elderlings are a little slower. Wait, they're the slow-talking ones, right? Yes. I cover my ears and run away going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sleek says, hurry.

All of you, run. The only exit is the door we came in from the east side? Or should we go towards where Sleek is? It's up to you. It's a known quantity versus an unknown on the other side. Should we go out where we came in or should we follow Sleek? I mean, they just told us to run. There's also, you know this because the archers did this. You know that there's also vines leading down from platforms by the windows. That's how he was able to climb back up. Oh.

All right. Mud sends his ravens to the window and says, Hey, everybody follow the ravens. We're going out. What about Sleek? I was going to say, I have a potion of healing. Is this like a cut scene where he's doing like a dramatic sacrifice or could I actually go like...

feed him the potion of healing. I know he'll love that. And I actually, I don't mind it. Just hurry. Get everyone else out. He's trying to be all heroic and sacrificial because I was... You don't want him to redeem himself. No, no, I do. I just don't... You know, now I feel bad because he's actually doing stuff so I want to help him. Well, the best use of this is to not waste his spell and utilize it to get everybody to safety. Uh...

The lute begins playing wrong notes and it starts to sound a little discordant. Okay. All right. I'll be right behind you. Just get everyone else out first. I'll keep an eye on Spectralight here. Okay. Spectralight. You're doing great. I approve. I'm sorry for making fun of you, Sleek. Don't die or else I'll feel real bad. Okay, bye. He called him Spectralight.

It's like a fun little amalgamation of their names. Yeah. It's like in... So he must know. In what's the show? Steven Universe. Yeah. Mud goes for a vine and starts going down and is trying to help the triune through. Yeah, Bart does the same. All right. They all start making their way. Gum Gum Kyborg, you too? Yes. Can I pick up Sleek and carry him? No, he needs to... He's having to maintain the loot and the spell. I feel bad. He'll be okay. He'll be okay. I don't know if he will or not. They might kill him off just to make me feel like bad...

You better see what happens. You got to go. You got to progress the story. I give a thumbs up and I go down the vines. You can do it. You were always my best friend. Gum Gum, you too? Yes. Gum Gum goes down the vine? Yeah. Everyone starts making their way down the vines at the edge of the platforms, trying to climb down as quickly as possible to the ground below. And then... Boom! Boom!

The deafening explosion erupts from inside the towering tree trunk and it sends you off flying towards the forest floor. And all of my ravens slow our fall. End of the episode. Oh, dang. Thanks for listening, everybody. That's it for this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Find out next week what happened, the aftermath of the encounter. That's big. Yeah, we'll see what Brink Tussler has to say to Kyborg. Never forget slick sacrifice. All right? This is going to go down in history.

He's going to carve him into his arm. The day that Kyborg was probably wrong. The first time Kyborg was ever wrong. All right. Well, that's it, everyone. We'll see you guys next week. Bye. Thank you. Bye, Sleek. Forever.