C01 - Ep. 43 - Paralyte’s Poison - Pines and Needles
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This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Best wishes to all you Blackguard Drakes. We don't end in the stinky dragon. Quaff our latest cocktail, Caustic for Concern. It's a mixture of Rager Meister, coconut rum, pineapple juice, and a little drop of acid. One sip of this acrid eye-opener is enough to tip

your scales in the right direction. Previously, our adventurers were inside the memories of Sleek and Spectral as the Intern Knights. While underwater in the Sheer Lake, they encountered an aggressive aquatic creature and a puzzling set of stone glyphs. Eventually, they all escaped to safety and found themselves back in Mayor Prattle's office, where he revealed that Luce, aka Paralite, is his daughter. Settle your scales and let's continue our tale.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Hi. Are y'all still stinky? Hi. Really quick, did you say that one of the ingredients for that drink was acid? You want our audience to drop acid, Gus? No, no, like hydrochloric acid. I don't know. Even better. Sulfuric acid. Which one is better? Probably the one that is deadly.

You probably have hydrochloric acid if you like, I don't know, based it down. Turned up the base. Based it down. Maybe diluted it. I don't want to skip over the fact that Blaine, I think he almost started pronouncing your name as Jus. Jus. He went J-Gus. Jus Stavo Sorolla. J-Gus.

Just Starvo. I think his brain corrected at the last second. I also, before we get into the recording, just no one is going to be able to see this except us. But the framing on Chris's webcam is just very funny to me because it cuts him off at the eyebrows and just at like the nipples. And so it's just like. We'll just be clear. You don't see my nipples. His Adam's apple is like the middle point of the entire camera. Right.

Also, for some reason, for the first time ever now, two years into working from home, he's blurring his background. We've seen your room nonstop for two years, and this time you're blurring your background. Also, he just found out which part of the microphone to speak into. Let's continue the show.

He was speaking into the side. This is the show. This is the show. This is the story of the show. He got a mic and talked the wrong side. He did. Uh, where were we? Oh yes. Uh, D&D, Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Roll for initiative. I want to thank everyone for, uh, for tuning in to this episode. Uh,

We'll be back next week. No, no, we got a lot to do today. I was very confused. That was it. That was it. No, no, no, no. We're back. You guys have been in the Dreamery experiment, experiencing all this flashback, this backstory, learning all the things that set this current adventure into motion, who your enemies really are. And you learned a lot and you fought something.

An intense surge of electricity vibrates through your bodies and the once spiraling surroundings fade back into the lab at Infinite Headquarters. The apparatus envines above you, sparks for a second, and then powers down with a droning hum.

Dr. Wheels over to you and asks, Oh my Daya, is everyone all right? My prosthetic arm is like, I felt that really hard, you know? It's basically like if you put a person that has a piece of metal in their body inside of one of those... Like an MRI? MRI thing. Oh, you be careful right now. You are literally telling Gus, the DM, that your arm is conductive of electricity, and so if he wants to hit you with electric energy... And magnets too, apparently. Ah!

mean that it's stainless steel and it's fine. It's covered in stainless steel and it is not conductive. You be careful. Anytime there's static electricity, Kyborg's gonna have to roll a d4 for damage. Yeah. You know, a lot of stuff just happened to us, but all of a sudden after waking up, it feels like Kyborg really doesn't like me for some reason, and I can't pinpoint why. Why doesn't Kyborg like you? Yeah, Kyborg, what's up? I was sleek. Oh, oh, oh.

Now I remember. I'm sorry. I thought you were... I'm still focused on everybody that was talking like this last episode. I got... I'm like... I don't know. I feel like my Elven people were like just like from like Elven New York or something. Like we talk fast. We got things to do. Elven New York. We got to go. Elven New York. Yeah.

So we ran to a bunch of elven, like, Wisconsin people. And I talked slowly. Yeah, you all have such short lives. You only live for a couple thousand years. Got to maximize every moment. Yeah. Hell yeah. YOLO. Hell yeah. Elphia. I always forget that elves live that long. Yeah, you're so advanced, you just meditate through sleep. You should be patient. That's so cool. God, I wish I was IRL. I wish I was an elf.

I take the point, years. How many parties do you think Kyborg's going to be a part of before he passes away eventually? Because all of these people are going to be dead, right? Kyborg?

I don't know. What's the life expectancy of a fear bog? You're assuming Kyborg lives through this adventure. Yeah. I'm the hero of the story. Why wouldn't I? Kyborg also has lost a limb, so he's already down some body parts. Fear bogs are 500 years. Oh, we're right up there with each other. Yeah. Yeah. What about halflings? Halflings, aren't they around 120? Yeah. They're like extended human years, basically. Yeah.

Yeah, it's not super long. More than a human. What if I drink Kaiborg's blood? And then orc... Wait, wait. Orcs only go about 100 years. Rarely do they live beyond 100. So which one of our party is like the dog that we shouldn't get too attached to? Bart's going to live to the middle of his second century, most likely. Okay, it's like 150. I think Gum-Gum's the one that's going to be the first to go. Okay, nobody get too attached to Gum-Gum, okay? Wait a minute. Tula.

Too late. What do you mean I can't get attached to me? So we got Gum Gum at 75 years. We have Bart at 150. So it's okay, Bart. You won't have to live that much longer after Gum Gum's gone. Yeah, only double my lifetime. Did you know that halflings have brave, which means they have advantage on saving throws against being frightened? Aw, that's cute. Did you know that, Barbara? Yeah. Yeah.

I did. Yeah, I have advantage. On stuff. On throws against being frightened. B is for brave. B is for Bart. B is for Bart. B is for Bart. B is for brave. B is for let's continue the story. Blitz. Blitz. Mutt's just yawning and taking the crusties out of his eyes after that whole non-ease.

So just for clarity, for posterity's sake, do you think it would be prudent to mention that John is a little stuffy today, so he sounds a little different? Just to head off all of the comments on this episode about asking why John sounds different. It's allergy season in Austin. Well, I've got a flat-out had a cold this week. What's the fear bug equivalent to what's going on right now? Like, the canon version, was it you caught something while we're in the dreamery? Like, maybe you slept with your mouth open while you were in the dreamery? Yeah, something crawled in. Gross.

Let's go. What's happening? Oh, yeah. Doctor asked if everyone was all right. And that's the chatter. You know, this is everyone getting caught up. Everyone woke up and immediately started wondering how long everybody's going to live. Well, we got really existential while we were in this dreamland. Even, you know, seeing people die right before our eyes. Yeah. You know, I was the embodiment of everything that Kyborg hates. And so now I feel weird around him. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Just looking at you differently now. Yeah, it's just we've seen some things, Doctor. Oh, well, what did you experience? What did you see? See?

Slow-talking people, just the worst. They couldn't even get a thought out in five minutes. Neither can we. We had to press some buttons, and we almost drowned, and we almost got killed by this weird monster in the water. To be frank, what we've come to understand is two very important things. One, the origins of the Infinites are based in stealing stuff from other peoples that were not originally yours. And also...

who Paralate originally was. Yeah, did you know that, Doctor? I had my suspicions about Felix and Luz regarding the extent of their relationship, but I didn't think Felix was capable of covering up so much... corruption.

I had no idea that the Infinites gained their powers through petty thievery. He turns to Sleek and Spectral and says, Shame on the both of you. Why did you go along with all the lies? I spit at Sleek. I spit at him. He looks down at the spit and looks up at you and Dr. Ahem and says, We didn't want to, of course. We told Brattle right away that we wanted nothing to do with it.

But... Balderay was dying, and it needed a miracle to survive. The town needed heroes to save them. The world needed the Infinites.

Everywhere we went there was another disaster, another war, another crisis needing our help. But it's all a lie! You've been lying to the people of Boulderey, to the world, to... to me. Doctor, believe us, we never meant to hurt anyone. But he's right, Leonard. We aren't heroes. We never were. And after this rescue mission, I'm done. I mean it. I'll tell the whole world if I have to.

But the Infinites are no more. Does this mean we lose our internship? Maybe we can get promoted. I needed it for credit. We should be promoted. We'll be the new Infinites. I mean, we've been doing the job the entire time. Yeah. Shame on you. Shame on you. And then can I roll the spit in Sleek's face?

Sure, why not? Okay, hold on. What's the roll? What is the roll? Just make a dex check, I guess. Dexterity. Holy heck, why can't I? Dex check, dude. I can't roll. Am I in like, what is this? I'll roll for you. No, no, I must roll for myself. I did it. It's right there. Seven. No. Then roll. Dexterity. There you go. There it is, there it is, there it is, there it is. 20. 20. Ha ha ha ha ha.

For the record, you didn't roll a 20. It's a 15 plus five. Same thing. Just to be clear, just to be clear to the listeners. Yeah, just because Blaine yelled 20 and started laughing maniacally. It's a plus five modifier. It works. It's a 20. Okay, so fine. You spit on Sleek. He looks at you angrily, but he knows that he's in the wrong here. So Sleek looks dejected.

at being the focus of everyone's anger. But it was all for good intentions. Yeah, the greater good. Theans don't justify the means, you monster! I'm getting another one ready! I had a lot of milk this morning.

Mud reaches over and with his giant fear bog hands clasps Kyborg's mouth so he can't spit it out and has to deal with what he just hocked up in his own way. And now it kind of leaks out of between your fingers. Stop. Oh, God. I'm so grossed out. Stop it. I'm already dead. Gum Gum just starts spitting into the ground. That's the spirit, Gum Gum. I guess I'd be behind Mud's hand. Gum Gum. Gum Gum.

This isn't at sleep. This is just spitting because he likes to spit. God. That's the detail we didn't need to know about Kumkum. Yeah. Oh, hey, quick ask. Can we consider that whole dream state a long rest?

Oh, please. Well, you can take a long rest. Okay. I just looked up. I'm like, I'm at 5 HP. Why am I at 5 HP? Yeah, because at this point, it's like morning the next day. Okay. I'm going to do a long rest. Yay. We've long rested. First time in 10 days. My spells are back. Guess who's lucky again? Woo.

I feel like Bart in this situation, because he lived as one of the Infinites, specifically Sleek, could feel more compassion for them than he did before. Oh, yeah, that's nice. So he goes over to Sleek and helps him wipe off the spittle that Kyborg has. Oh, that's really sweet. Nice guy, Bart. Yeah, he goes, it's okay. He appreciates it. He looks at you with, like, big eyes that are welling up with tears in them. Oh, easy targets. Hold on. Ah!

Rose. Well, what do we do now? The fact that we know the infinites were a... Phonies? Lay.

And Paralite is now ostensibly collecting all those items that she originally stole. Sleek says, It's all beginning to make sense now. Paralite must have messed with our memories when she captured us so that we wouldn't know exactly where she was hiding out. Think about it, Leonard. Just when you started remembering something about the Elder Pines, your memory went all fuzzy. But it's clear now. That's where this all began. Perhaps Paralite has been hiding there this whole time. Right under our noses. Pfft.

Dr. Ahem chimes in. Well, that settles it. It sounds like the Elder Pines might be a good place to start looking for our friends and Paralite. You should take Sleek and Spectral here with you. Perhaps seeing the forest again will jog their memories. Sounds like a plan. What if we just take one of them? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Sleek. Hey, it's been really risky around here with the Evergards.

And I don't feel good with Dr. Ahem being on his own. And I think that he needs Sleek to guard him. No, no. They'll best be served if their memories can be jogged. And they'll be an asset to you in your fight against Paralite. I reach for Bart's suspenders. Bart slaps Kaibar's hand away. Okay, all right.

There's these moments when you're playing the Pokemon games where you're having dialogue with a character and then it comes up with two options to reply to the dialogue of the character. Does it matter what you say? What's going to happen is what's going to happen. We're at that point right now. Of course they have to come with us. They're the ones who went through this. Just take your stupid little brother with you. He needs to go to the mall with you as well. Deal with it. He needs to socialize. He needs to spend time with the other kids. He's getting real weird.

All right, we'll take these stinking infinauts. Whoa. Bart grabs Sleek and Spectral's hands. Bart is like, no one deserves that niceness. No one deserves it. And then Gum-Gum grabs their hands, makes a circle with everyone's hands.

All right. Like a ring around the rosy kind of thing or something? Yeah, like grabs the opposite. Yeah, if I'm in between them, he's on like the other side of them. All right, let's go to the pains. Doctor stops you as you're walking out and says, There's something else you should know about Felix. The day we met, he was concerned about his health. I conducted a medical exam and discovered that he's dying.

My diagnosis is that he spent so many years around Bolderay's number one export, Sangrianite, and his body had a negative reaction to its arcane properties. Oh. Wasn't there a cup that Aleve got that could save a life? Do you think that's what Paralite is looking for? Oh.

I suppose it's possible. All right, so Paralite's looking for that cup. Paralite doesn't have the cup, right? I don't think she does. Doesn't she just have the loot right now, right? She has Sleek's loot. She has her gloves. Can you remind us, Gus? You know definitely that Paralite has the loot. I don't know if you know definitely anything beyond that. Okay. Okay.

Alright, well, I guess there's more information to find in the pines if we find Perlite. To the Elder Pines! Quite right, interns. Make haste.

You said you all were exiting the lab, correct? Yes. Can we do a quick check to see if there's anything in here that could help us on our journey? Any supplies? Any supplies or like magic potions or anything like that? I need to put up like one of those janitor like slippery floor area things. The signs because of the spit on the floor. Someone ought to clean this up. It's a mess. That's a good question. The lab is pretty scarce. If you remember, a lot of his stuff was stolen.

recently, so it's not as fully stocked as it normally would have been. That is a good idea, though, to look around for anything that could help. Oh, let's get coffees to go. What is it y'all are looking for? Just like healing potions or something? Healing potions or any equipment or anything that could help. You got any of those like a tumbler so we can put some coffee in? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A coffee tumbler? You don't have one already? I just want a fresh one. Yeah, we just want to top off our coffees before we get going.

Wait, are you looking for a tumbler or for ready-made coffee? No, we want that dude that makes the coffee. What is his name? You tell me what his name is. Duncan. Duncan. There it is. Duncan. Ah, yes, Duncan. Hi, my name's Duncan. He sounds like that. Yeah, we need that guy. Get that guy in here. You don't see Duncan anywhere, but yeah, you find some tumblers you could use for coffee. Okay. Okay.

Gus is like, get out of the lab. I'm not leaving until I get my coffee. Can I speak to your manager, Dr. Ahim? Yeah, you can just get some beakers and repurpose those as tumblers. Turns out Kyborg is the kind of person to have one of those mugs that says, don't talk to me until I've had my morning coffee. That sounds like mud to me. It's an elvish. I think Kyborg's a bit more basic. I'm not that basic. All right.

Is everyone ready to move on out? Mud has a coffee cup with little raccoon paw prints all over it. Oh, that's cute. That's nice. That does sound cute. Or not raccoon, badger. Sorry, I forgot which little trash dirt digger I have. Don't talk about Gum-Gum that way. He's right here.

Just because I like to dig in the dirt doesn't mean I'm a trash. Oh, can I leave Fred here? I feel like Dr. Ahim would take good care of him and I don't want to expose him to danger like irresponsible gum mud with his thing. Oh,

Oh, absolutely. Dr. M would be happy to take Fred off your hand. Okay. You're not going to kill him or anything, are you? No, no, no. He will not experiment on him. Is there a wink at the end of that knot? No, no. Just unlike some of the other animals you've seen before. He'll take good care of him as a pet and not an experiment. Can I do a perception check and see if he's actually messing with me? I don't think he's going to do it. Sure. I want to make sure that Fred's in good hands here. Yeah, make that perception check.

Ooh, 20! 17 plus 3. That actually should have been an insight check. We'll say you rolled a 17 on your insight, which is plus 0. So we'll say it's 17. Okay. Yeah, you think that he's being straightforward. Dr. Ahem reminds you that...

I don't wish to point fingers, but last time it was you that killed rodents inside my lab. Well, this isn't a rodent. This is a predator, all right? He's a fox. It's an apex predator. Yeah, just like his papa. Well, the only animals that have been killed in this lab were by Kyborg. Well, no, he came back to life if you listened to that bonus episode, all right? The extended universe.

It's canon. He's alive still, but that rat. Okay. So Fred is staying at the lab. Yeah. Yeah. If, if sleek's not going to stand by to, to protect Dr. Ahem, then Steve will, I mean, Fred will do his best and Steve and Steve. Okay. We're ready to move on.

Yes. Please. This is the equivalent of me putting a Pokemon in storage box with, what's his name? Professor Oak. Professor Oak? Yeah. Even I knew that one. No, it's not. I was just going to let it slide, but there's a dude that runs the PC. What's the guy's name? Yeah, Professor Oak. Bill, Bill, Bill. Not Bob. Bill. Yep, basically. Bill, not either. Bill, Bill, Bill. So where's this forest? Let's go. Pines, go. Fast travel.

I guess...

Let's open the gate. Mud wants to listen to the gate. Mud wants to listen to the gate, see if there's someone on the other side. Sure. Or like detect if the gate has a magic lock or something. Oh, we're leaving. Should be okay. I know, but you know, whenever it's just like, it's kind of like when you're watching a movie and it's like, they're showing something extra right now that they shouldn't have to show. It's like, oh, something's about to happen. Chekhov's gate. It's Chekhov's gate. Or they just know our experience with doors. What am I rolling? Make a perception check.

Love to. That's a 24. You think that this gate is a big door that leads out of town. You don't hear any talking. You said you were trying to see if you could hear anyone. You don't feel like you hear anyone on the other side of this gate.

What's a check for traps role? I think that's perception. Can I check for traps as well? Everyone else might think that you're wasting time. I don't think you're wasting time. I think this is a great idea. I mean, hey, remember when you unlocked the professor from the thing and it set off an alarm? No. You think I'm being serious? No, I'm not joking. I'm not saying that this is wasting time. I'm all about this. So the way you check for traps is the character who's actively looking for a trap

Makes a wisdom perception check against the traps DC. Okay. Wisdom perception check. Yeah. Then I'm going to do that. Do I roll again? Yes. Because before you didn't say it before. 23. 23. No, you don't detect any traps. Well done. Well done. Okay. Okay. Let's go. And no, one more thing. I'm going to cast detect magic. I want to see if there's magic.

I don't trust this door. I don't like doors. Doors are trouble in D&D. It's the third D of D&D. This party hates doors. Dungeons and dragons and doors. That's what we are. That's right. You cast detect magic and you don't detect anything that you wouldn't expect, you know, outside of your party members and the magic items you all carry. All right. Canberra gets a very safe door if you want to go through it. I think we should find an alternate route.

Bart opens the door. Bart opens the door. Thank you, Bart.

For having the initiative to do that. Bart opens up the door. Do you walk through? Does everyone walk through? Is everyone going to make a roll before walking through the door? Bart walks through. Bart takes initiative and walks through. I want to detect magic in the door frame. There could be a bucket of water hanging above. We don't know. I hate you guys right now so much. Except for Barbara. I'm trying to go through the door too, for the record. Okay, Gum Gum and Bart are through the door. What happened to them? Bart, make a survival check.

Oh, cool. My God. All along. Both of us? You've done it, Mud. No, just Bart. Eight. As you walk through the southern gates, a bug flies into your mouth. And you become mud.

preoccupied with trying to spit it out. Can I have some? Gum gum. Gum gum is gross, gross today. Mud and Kaibark are just doing the whole shoving thing of trying to push one of them through first. Roll for strength, Kaibark. Kaibark takes the bug out of his mouth and throws it at Mud. Mud.

Mud catches it and puts it in his pocket. Nice. Feeds it to Gumbo. Oh, like that. Okay, we go through the door. Yeah, walk through the door. All right, Mud, make a survival check. 20. 20. You take a deep breath and close your eyes. Your senses tell you that Sordo had originally led you westward when you were heading toward the Elder Pines in the past.

And you also recall the forest floor being filled with sturges and hazardous plants and fungi. Oh, I remember that. Remember that, Barb? It's a dangerous path. Yeah, as you, you know, exit this gate, and before you, the main road splits off into two directions, east and west. I don't remember being there. That's because you guys weren't there. Well, no, he said I was there. He said that there was fungi everywhere.

Because I'm a fun guy. I'm Kyborg. I don't even know if Barb and Chris are listening or anything because they didn't respond at all. My head is in my hands. Woo!

So from our past experience, I do know that we need to go west. So we're gonna go west. Okay. Look at you, learning from past experiences. Do we have horses? We do not. Okay. You all are on foot. Okay, you head westward onto a narrow dirt path and a familiar hazy tree line comes into view. You travel along the path to its end and eventually you find yourself in a clearing surrounded by thick elder pine trees shrouded in fog. You hear something snap and the rustling of leaves.

As always, please don't forget to give us a follow or send us a message on social media, Twitter and Instagram. We are at StinkyDragonPod. Maybe send us some of your favorite moments from the show so far. You never know if you interact with us or use hashtag StinkyDragonPod, your name might get used as an NPC in a future episode. For example, Lil' Jimmy is named after James Kingsepp, who is at JimmyKing411. So congratulations, you are forever Lil' Jimmy.

And don't forget, we got voice actors voicing some of our parts. As always, Sleek is voiced by our own Ben Ernst, who's one of the producers on this show. Spectral is Christian Young, who also works with us over here at Rooster Teeth. And Dr. M is Micah Reisinger, who's the writer, editor, and composer for the show A True Triple Threat. He's also a pun master extraordinaire, I'd say.

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Everyone go ahead and make a perception check. Roll. Okay. Who's there? 19. 15. 16. 24. Nice. Good rolls all around. Oh, man. Those are all really good. So let's see. Gum Gum, you think you hear something or someone approaching from just beyond the trees in front of you.

Everyone else is able to peer through the fog and spot two paths between the dense trees. To your right is a patch of mushrooms next to a bulbous plant, and to your left is a patch of leafy green ivy along the ground.

Didn't we last time go towards the mushrooms? Are we at basically where we entered the forest last time that Bart and I did? Your roll was pretty good, right? Yeah. Yeah, this looks familiar to you. Okay. So then last time we went towards the mushrooms and we started floating around and dealing with carnivorous plants. So do we deal with the devil that we know or a new one? I mean, do we have any cool fire spells or anything? Yes. No, I don't.

I must have gotten rid of them all. Wait, so it's the fungus was the one on that side and then there was vines. We haven't gone through the fungus stuff? Let's go through something new. Okay. Yeah, let's trip. Let's trip. Let's go. To the vines. To the vines. To the vines. You said we saw somebody coming through?

Gum-Gum thinks he could hear something or someone just beyond the trees in front of him. There's someone over there. But the rest of us... Oh, we saw paths. Could see what was... I'd say, yeah, you all could also hear that. But in addition to that, the rest of you were able to see the paths. Gum-Gum was not able to see the two paths. Okay. You're tired. Quick. Get off the road. Get off the road. Okay.

Do we know which direction that sound of like something snapping came from? It would be kind of directly in front of you. The way to think about it is like the way directly in front of you is obscured by trees. And then the other side of those trees is where you heard the sound from. To get around the tree, to see what it was, you could either go to the left or the right side to like kind of get around it. That's what I described the different paths that you see. Heiberger always goes left.

Okay, we're always just to the left. But also, are we going to let John slip with that cute little voice crack that he just did? Oh, I noticed that too. Oh, yeah. Totally. It's a very adorable voice crack. Yeah. So wait, can Gum-Gum dive off the road into the brush?

Because there's someone coming? Uh, sure. Which way do you want to dive? Left or right? Go left. Go, I guess, left? That's the spirit. Well, that makes sense because there's like ivy on that side. So you could theoretically like obscure yourself. So Gum-Gum dives off the trail to the left side where the ivy is.

So Gum-Gum, make a constitution saving throw. Uh-oh. 12? Not bad. No, not bad. Oh, you have a high constitution. This is a 6 plus 6. Gum-Gum dives into the ivy and is working, trying to obscure himself. Nothing happens to him? Well, he's kind of hidden right now. Gum-Gum, you're okay? I'm down here.

I guess he's gone. Yeah. Wait, so did Gum-Gum hear someone coming or is someone in fact coming? You all kind of heard like a snap beyond the trees. Bart turns himself invisible. With my cloak of many fashions or whatever it's called, I make it go like camouflage. That's cool. And then I crouch. Oh, yeah, that's super cool. Make it go camouflage. Yeah, to match my surroundings.

Okay. Alright. Gum Gum, make me a perception check. 12. You feel a little strange.

You feel like your center of gravity and your balance is a little off. Just because of the lines? You're not sure. Can I look at Gum-Gum and see what's going on? Can I perceive anything? Yeah, make a perception check. All right. 15. It looks like Gum-Gum has a long spiked reptilian tail. Oh, no. His dreams comes true. He's finally a dinosaur. Lizard people, he's an Illuminati. Kill him. Oh.

Gum Gum? Yeah? Can you show me your hands real quick? Okay. Okay, now put your hands on your butt. Oh my goodness. That's the most pure reaction ever.

What is it, Gum-Gum? I don't know. There's more to me than meets the eye. Are you a transformer? I don't know. I can't see it. It's behind me. Chase it. You gotta chase it, Gum-Gum. Catch it. Okay. It's moving fast. What is it? You'll have Gum-Gum chasing his tail. It's right behind you. Keep going. You'll catch it. Something after me. It's got a hold of my butt. What?

So Gum Gum jumped into the vines. Ivy. Ivy, Ivy, Ivy. Is it like Ivy on the ground? Yeah. Okay. Could I try to do something? Yeah, go Bart. Could I use my dagger to cut the Ivy that's around Gum Gum from the roots? Yeah. So you're just going to like go in there and start slashing at it or are you going to pick it up and like try to cut it at the base or how do you want to do that? I'm just going to slash at it.

Okay. Yeah, I guess make an attack roll since you're slashing at it with your dagger. I like that Gus was like, did you want to, like, walk in there and slash at it and cover yourself in the ivy? Did you want to rub your face against it? Yeah, yeah, it's like...

You gotta be explicit. Do you want to lick it while you're slashing? Do you want to taste test the ivy? 22. 22, yeah. Good hit. You hit it. Go ahead and roll some damage, your dagger damage. That is seven. Ooh, that's good. Yeah, you start cutting away at the ivy and you start clearing it up. There's quite a bit of it, but you've cleared a little spot. I don't have a dagger, I don't think. Anything happen to Gum Gum that I could...

I can notice. No, he's still chasing his tail, running around in a circle. Is he caught up? Like, does he have any IV connected or attached to him or touching him anymore? No, because he's running around. So no. Okay. Wait, what does my tail look like? It's like a lizard tail. Yeah, it's like long and reptilian and it's spiked. Spiked. Guys, I think we're going to have to amputate.

Do I have a tail? Be honest. You do have a little bit of a tail. But you know what? You don't have to put it that way.

I sometimes sometimes mud has tails. You know, it's not a bad thing. This is tails from the stinky dragon. Yeah. This is where we all get the tails. I personally, I think that we should see if Gum Gum can keep this because I think that Gum Gum might like this tail. It could serve some purpose. But can we see if we can actually hold this and make it a cannon thing? Gum Gum, do you want a tail? Yeah. I don't know. Do I? I think it looks pretty great on you. I think it looks it's a good look. Can I try wiggle it? Uh,

Yeah, you're able to wiggle it around. That's pretty neat. And it has spikies? Yeah. Can I touch my spiky tail? Yeah, of course. It's pretty long. So yeah, you're able to like curl it around and touch it. Oh, I spiked myself.

You spiked yourself? Yeah, it's pointy. You take two points of spike damage. Ow. Oh! It's a weapon. Is there any rocks or, like, logs or any, like, weird debris that's just kind of hanging out on the trail that's not in the ivy? No, I think you see it's pretty much just, like, a very solid floor of ivy. Hey, use your sword, Kyber. Cut. Help. Help Bart.

No, I mostly wanted to see if we could do like, I could throw like a rocker or something at him and see if he could hit it with his tail and see if he could do damage or something. Get him out of the ivy first and then you can play catch with his tail. He's out of the ivy. Bart already cut him out and Gus was saying that he's no longer attached to it. Should I go back in and get more tails? I feel like it has, I don't know if it has anything to do with the ivy necessarily. Can I use a new spell? Yes. I'd like to use speak with plants.

You imbue plants within 30 feet of you with limited sentience and animation, giving them the ability to communicate with you and follow your simple commands. You can question plants about events in the spell's area within the past day, gaining information about the creatures that have passed, weather, and other circumstances. Ooh, you've been waiting for this one for a while, right? I forgot I had it. Ask them about Mr. Peanut. So you would also turn difficult terrain caused by plant growth into ordinary terrain.

Or you can turn ordinary terrain into difficult terrain. Plants may be able to perform other tasks on your behalf. It does not enable plants to uproot themselves and move. If a plant creature is in the area, you can communicate with it if you share a common language, but you gain no magical ability to influence it. Oh, this spell can cause the plants created by Entangle to release a restrained creature. Yeah, it's a very good spell. Okay, yeah. What's the range on this? 30 feet. Yeah. You cast...

Speak with plants. And what do you want to do with that information? I want to talk to the ivy. Okay. Hello, my name is Mud. Do you by any chance have magical abilities that turned my friend into having a tail? We must protect ourselves with what we have available to us. So is that a yes? Yes. Thank you. That's very nice. Yes.

You found out. It's very cool. I think that's a very amazing trick, and I think my friend might actually prefer the tail. But I'm curious, do these effects last forever, or are they temporary? Temporary. Oh. What's the cure? Ask him if he can keep it. Is there a way that we can make it permanent on our friend in case we think it's a benefit? Unknown? Okay. Interesting.

I actually do. Can I speak more to the general plants around?

There are no generals. We are all equal. No, I'm asking you, Gus. I'm asking you, Gus, if I can just address... I had to. I couldn't help it. You big dummy. General plants? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Hello. We're trying to find this lady that we think might be hiding in your forest. Is there a chance you've seen a... How do we describe Paralyte?

Scary looking. She had a cloak, right? Or something like that. It's been so long since we've described her visually. I have a hard time retaining that information in my brain. I've always imagined her as purple. I don't know why. How have you described her in the past, Gus? As though we have seen her. If I were you in this instance, I think the best approach to take is to start broad and then narrow down. Okay. Has anybody passed this way in the last day? A person like us.

The Ivy replies again. Yes, there are patrols in the area.

Have they gone your direction or towards the mushrooms? Both. Oh. All right. There are patrols nearby. They have taken the alpha sturge. Oh, our friend. Bart, the sturge was the thing that ate Sordo, right? Yeah. Oh, my God. Get him. They took our friend. Do you think maybe we could find Sordo this way? Sordo is here. That was ages ago, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. That was ages ago. What can we do? How might we pass without...

disturbing you since you seem to be a little bit on the defensive. Ask if they need a human sacrifice and then I like kind of indicate towards Sleek. We can help clear a path. That is so lovely of you to do that. I appreciate it so much. It's so nice to meet kind spirits in the forest. Yeah.

This is a really powerful spell you got here. It sounds like a joke, but it's actually really useful. I mean, it's a third level spell, so I can't cast like willy-nilly. But if you're going to cast, speak with plants, do it in the middle of a forest. Yep, with plants that do strange things. Yeah, the ivy starts shifting a little bit. Like I said, it can't uproot itself, but it can move itself around a little bit to try to create a little bit of a clear path for you. Okay. And then it says, danger, there are others nearby.

Others like you or others like us? Others like you. Oh no. Alright, so we can go this way, but there's patrols, so we need to be on the ready party. Okay. Alright, I'm always ready. Tell them I said thank you for the gift. And I stick out my tongue like a lizard, and then I say, I would give them a flower. And I make a flower. I thought you said, tell them I said. What flower do you give them? What do they want? What?

I don't know. I think that's almost like asking, like you're giving them a person. Like if you were giving a person another person. So I don't know what you want to do. Ask them if they like flowers. My friend says thank you for the tale and wants to know if you like flowers. They are flowers. Some of our best friends are flowers. Yep, their friends are flowers. I'll make a flower of one I see that is in the forest. Okay, I want to give you a flower.

Sure. Make sure it's planted in the ground, though. Like, don't just, like, a disembodied one because then they might take offense. Yeah. You see some, like, daisies nearby. Do you want to make, like, some daisies, I guess? Just a big daisy. Okay, yeah. You pop up a daisy, like, on the edge by them or in the middle of where the ivy is. How do I do that? I guess on the edge by them. Okay. You pop up a daisy there on the edge of where the ivy is.

I guess that's it. You can't talk to them. I hope y'all can be friends. Okay. Thanks again. Appreciate your help. I hope you all have a lovely day. You're welcome. You may call us Frank. Yay! We know a new friend. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank the Vines. Ivy. Ivy. No, Frank and Fern. Where's Fern Gully?

Yeah, so can we move the party along the path they opened up? Yeah. Let's do it. You continue going west. Yeah, as we're moving, I utilize another spell, which is Pass Without a Trace. Oh, nice. So we all have plus 10 bonus to stealth checks. Sweet. Okay. Plus I'm in camouflage. Most.

As you are walking through this area and casting Pass Without a Trace, an arrow bolt flies past between the party, nearly hitting you all, but missing. You missed!

Is that your instinct to give them a proper sounding of where to shoot next? I just want them to know that there's a superior archer. Show your face. I'll show you how to hit. It's just Kylo Ren yelling, I could have hit me. Can we look towards where the bolt came from? Yeah, make a perception check.

I too will make a perception check. I think anybody who got shot at can totally make a perception check. More than welcome to. Ah, 11. 24. 24, there you go. Bart is the only one who can see actually where the arrow appears to have come from. You don't see anyone there, but you see like some rustling in the brush, like someone probably fired at you and then began trying to hide or run away. Should I return fire? No. I mean, they shot an arrow. That's the rules of engagement. Ah.

Uh, just don't be scared. Don't do anything too rash, Kyborg. But, uh, someone over there in those bushes just tried to shoot at us and hid. I have an exploding arrow. I mean, we can just smoke them out. Charlie's in the trees. Ha ha ha ha!

Bart, you're still invisible, right? Yeah, I cast myself as invisible, but I don't know if anyone caught it because there was like a thousand people talking. Yeah, I caught it. I heard you. Yep. Okay. Could I go over to inspect those bushes? Yeah, go for it. Bart walks over to where he saw the person hide, but he's still invisible. Yeah, it's not too far away. It's like on the other side of a little clearing from where you got away from those ferns. And you see that there's a trail there. It seems like someone was probably standing right here.

Most likely fired at you and then retreated into the vegetation. So I can't see who it is. But you think that they're probably not very far. I also think they're not very good at shooting. I'd say pursue, Bart. Could I just, like, follow the trail of where I think they went? Yeah, absolutely. Why don't you go ahead and make me a survival check to see if you can, like, pick up the trail. Ooh, nine. Nine. Oof.

You start following the trail, but you think you veer off a little bit and you stumble into some razor vine that's there in the vegetation. So go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw. Okie dokie. 23. Oh, that's really good. Okay, yeah, you lose the trail for a second and you're about to step into some razor vine and you know that that would cut you up, but you see it at the last second, stop yourself and right your path and you get back onto the trail. Looking for more clues. Go ahead and make one more survival check for me.

So bad at these. Should be good. 11. 11. A little better. After you step away from the razor vine, you're able to find a couple of footprints in the soft dirt. And you can definitely easily tell what direction the person who fired the arrow went in. Could I tell if they're, like, humanoid footprints or, like, a different creature? Yeah.

Definitely humanoid footprints. Okay. I think I'm going to go back to my team and let them know that I know the trail of where this person's going. Okay. So I guess we could pursue if we want? I want to pursue for sure. Can we pursue...

Cautiously? Yeah, you pursue however you want. Cautiously, recklessly. It's all, it's wide open. Well, we still have whatever mud cast on us, right? The Pass of the Alcatraz. Yeah. Yeah, let's stealthily pursue the trail that Bark shows us. Let's also keep in mind, they may be watching us. Yeah. Just for funsies, everyone go ahead and make stealth checks.

And just pass out a trace, just give you a bonus or just give you a damage? Plus 10. Plus 10. All right. So everyone make sure you add plus 10 to that. Good thing, because I rolled a 5. So 15 for me. 27. 22 plus 10. I'm the predator. I go... 26. You have advantage though, I think. So go ahead and roll it one more time. Because you're invisible. All right. Invisible. 29. 29.

Also, Gus, just a reminder for you, the way that it works is we can't be tracked except by magical means and we don't leave tracks behind. You got it. Okay, yeah, you all are very stealthily moving through the brush following the trail that Bart had found. And before too long, you find yourself staring at an archer. He hasn't spotted you yet. It seems like he's looking around trying to see where you guys are and he's trying to hide in a little bit of brush. Can I perceive like what his allegiance might be? Is he dressed like an Evergard? Like what's, do I recognize him?

Yeah, you can see that he has a black cloak on. Is that whatever cards you're wearing? Black cloak was the, uh... Yeah? What? Did I miss something? I feel like I missed something. He's got a looking Stinky Dragon channel right now. What is happening? I was stretching my arms. Jesus Christ.

I was stretching my wrist. I'll post it on social. Yeah, that's 100% social post right there. He was doing a pose on his webcam. I've just never seen another human being. That's amazing. You know, it's when you want to stretch your fingers out, but also don't know how they smell when they're stretching. This might be the first time I've seen Chris look embarrassed. Oh, man. It was very funny.

Sorry to interrupt. I don't remember what we were saying, too, now. Isn't that a cloak? Oh, yeah. A black cloak. Wasn't that the bad guy cloaks? You believe, yes. You believe you remember the Evergards wearing black cloaks. All right. I want to shoot him. Can I shoot him? Could we restrain him somehow?

Gum-Gum, hug him. If only you had friendship bracelets. That's what I'm saying. Hug Gum-Gum. I jump. I choose you. Can I jump and try and hug him? Uh, sure. With advantage. Yeah, much to his surprise, because you all are using Password Out of Trace, Gum-Gum and his tail emerge out of hiding and rush at him, arms wide open for a hug. Wait, I want to pursue this, like, Pokemon thing. Gum-Gum, use Tail Whip.

Well, I can't if I'm hugging him. Yeah, Gum-Gum's going to grapple. Maybe you can use your tail to, like, wrap around him as well. Oh, yeah! Grapple extra hard. Gum-Gum, use wrap! Yeah, go ahead and make a grapple check. I guess you can use strength. And you said at advantage because I'm surprised. I didn't say at advantage, but we might give you, like, a little bonus because you have a surprise on him and you've got your tail. All right, so that's 24...

Nice. Let me see. What is their stats? They will make a dexterity check to try to avoid getting grappled. Oh, that's a 24. They have a plus four. But wouldn't that be at disadvantage then? Normally it would be a tie, but because of your tail, you're able to get like a little extra leverage and wrap him up.

So you're able to successfully grapple him. Ty goes to the tail. Yes. We're hugging now. I'm gum gum. Oh, man. I want to do that now. Next time I hug my wife, just grab her and be like, we're hugging now. I'm Gus. We're hugging now. Take it. He seems very scared. Don't hurt me. Why would I hurt you? I'm hugging you.

Can Mud approach? Yeah. Okay. Um, hello. I'm Mud. Um, why were you shooting at us? Uh, it's, they're forcing me to. It's my job. I'm on patrol. Who, who, who's forcing you? The Everguards. Classic I was following orders argument. Who are you? I'm Little Jimmy. Little Jimmy? I'm the only little one around here, all right? Don't get that mixed up. Well, uh, when you look at him, you figure he's probably called Little Jimmy because he's pretty scrawny. Oh.

Our Bart is nice and stout. Jimmy is not. We prefer the word thick. Thick Bart. Well, Jimmy, why are you phrasing it that way as though you've been forced into the Evergard? Oh, I would never want to do anything to hurt anyone. You shot an arrow at us.

Yeah, because I was forced to. Right. So, why are you in the Evergard if you don't want to be firing arrows at people? Because I was forced to. By who? The Evergards. So, you're forced by the Evergards to be an Evergard? Yes. Okay. Are you getting paid? What are the benefits? Yes.

You get dental? Why did they say what happened to you if you didn't fight for them? They threatened to hurt little Jimmy. Are you actually getting paid, though? Like, is this... Are you getting something out of this? Well, yeah, they won't beat me up. Okay. But are you getting paid, though? Of course, I mean... Well, yeah, you know, there's a cost of living stipend. I have to be able to eat. So this is your job. This is your job, then. Well, yeah. Okay. Okay.

So what's stopping me from shooting you with an arrow and actually hitting and actually not missing? I missed on purpose. It was a warning. That's nice of you. That's really nice of him. Thank you. Thank you. No, no, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I like Gum-Gum also. No, I like Gum-Gum chiming in like next to his ear. Just be like, that's also nice of him.

I want to see if this guy can hit a target to prove that he actually has control over his shots or if he is full of it and actually missed us because he's a bad shot. I don't think that's necessary right now. I think it's more so necessary that we utilize this asset as a way for us to find more information for where Paralite is. Little Jimmy, do you know where Paralite is?

Yeah, yeah, I know where Paralyte and the rest of the Evergards are. I can tell you. Great. Could you show us? I'll tell you. Wait till... Showing's better. If I show up with you, they're going to get mad at me, then they're going to blame me. No worry. I'll put my friendship bracelet on you, and then no one will question anything. I don't know what that means. Or they'll question everything. Put my friendship bracelet on my shackles. Oh.

Okay, so you're now friendship bracelet to him? Yeah. Oh, I get it now. Okay, that's clever. Here's the deal, Jimmy. Little Jimmy. Little Jimmy, sorry. Thank you, Gum Gum. It's very important. Thank you. Thank you, Gum Gum. You're welcome. What if you show us the way to the base or where they're hiding and we don't make you take us into it, but that way you show us where it is and then we'll let you go.

because we know now where we need to go. Okay? Uh, sure, yeah. It's not too far from here. I want to take little Jimmy's weapons. Uh, yeah. He's got a bow and a dagger. How old do you think little Jimmy is, roughly? That's a good question. Five years old. No, he's probably, uh, we'll say he's like 17. Okay. Human. How old is Gum Gum again? 15. Yeah.

I often forget, just again, that this is the child that is partying with us. I'm going to take his quiver of arrows and his dagger. Okay. It looks like he actually has some nice arrows in there. Oh, yeah? Do I perceive any fancy, cool exploding arrows or anything like that? You think you see some special arrows. Oh. Okay, then I'm definitely taking those. Two special arrows. What are they? Do you know that? You don't know that. You just know that they're special.

Okay, well, I take those, and I'm going to mark them in my inventory as special arrows, and then the next bad guy that we run into, he's in for a treat. Sure.

They're special arrows. Arrows of healing. Yeah, they do. It's like, oh, I feel super strong. They do 1d6 damage, but heal 1d4. Are you goofing right now? Because I'm about to add these. That's totally a goof. That's a goof. Okay. Because I could shoot those at my friends. Little Jimmy says, yeah, be careful with those. They didn't really train me how to use those ones yet.

Anyway, the trail is this way to the west. See, we're just making so many friends along the way. We met Frank. We met Jimmy. Is this like, are we in New York? Why are all these names Frank and Jimmy? Jimmy. They're people who talked with us on social media at StickyDragonPod or hashtag StickyDragonPod. We're going to find a nice deer around the corner named Bobby. They're walking here, right? Little Jimmy's named after at JimmyKing411. Who's Frank? Frank's just Frank. Frank and Frank.

Fair enough. Get it? Like Frankenfurn? Okay. I didn't know if that was how fast you're able to pull a name from social. Little joke. Little joke. Like Little Jimmy. Yeah, just like Little Jimmy. Little Jimmy, however, leads you all a little to the west. You reach the edge of the forest clearing, and it's like a really dense grove of massive trees with sprawling roots and thorny vines dangling from overhead. Little Jimmy says, all you got to do is...

Hold on to one of those vines and they'll pull you up. That's where you got to go. Okay, you go first. No, you said you would let me go once I showed you where. I've altered the deal. Pray I don't alter it further.

No, no. This is it. You got to let little Jimmy go. Hey, Bart, do you think you could do a little bit of checking to make sure he's telling the truth about what's about to happen if we touch these things? You were just thinking what I was thinking. Bart uses his ring of truth. I believe that gives you advantage on an insight check. So go ahead and roll two insight checks. Sure does. Big roll. So we got one that's 18. Yeah. Nice. And the next one is 21. Nice. Nice.

You do not believe he is lying. All right, Jimmy. If we do get pulled up there, what are we going to see? What are we going to be met with at the top of that? The village is up there. And that's where there's like a little bit of an outpost there. In the trees? Yeah. Are we fighting Ewoks? I don't know what those are, but no. Yep, nub. Yep, nub.

Are there any guards at the top of this? Yeah, you got to be careful up there. There are definitely guards. They're weird looking. Are they better shots than you? Well, I don't know about that. Little Jamie's a pretty good shot. If we go up, are we going to be immediately met with those guards? Or is there going to be an opportunity for us to hide? No, normally they're not right here. Normally they're a little further in the village. Well, Bart's still invisible, so I can go up and...

Scout. I like that. Yeah. I like that. Maybe I have a signal. Like you drop like a rock or something if it's clear. Well, Jimmy, what if he took me as your prisoner? We're not supposed to take prisoners. That's why I was trying to scare you away. Let's send the invisible halfling. It's me. Little Bart. Little Bart. So, Jimmy, we're going to hold on to you for just a little bit longer to see what happens to Bart. All right? All right.

That's not what you promised. You know what? You've got a large orc boy with a tail wrapped around you, so you don't have much to say right now. That's what you think. If Bart dies, then we might have an employment opportunity for you, little Jimmy. For another little friend. We will offer you something better than what the Infinites have offered you. We will not beat you up. The Infinites? The Infinites. I mean, the Evergards. You can join our crew. Guys, let's take a vote. Go, Bart.

Bart starts climbing up. All right, Bart, you grab onto one of the vines and it starts pulling you up higher and higher above the forest floor until finally you climb past a layer of limbs and bows to find a lush treetop village settled amongst the large branches of one towering elder pine tree.

The vines continue to climb, and you reach a wooden platform just outside of a bungalow with a pair of windows and a wooden door. Okay, could I do a quick detect magic? Yeah. Detect magic within 30 feet or so. No, you don't sense anything magical around you within 30 feet. Okay, and could I do a quick perception check just to see if there's anyone maybe, like, hiding behind any sort of leaves or plants or...

Yeah, you make a perception check. You're kind of on a little bit of a landing just outside of this like little bungalow. Okay. So it's like you're on the front porch of a house and you're outside of the house. It's a good way to think about it. Okay. So there's windows though, right? Yeah, there's two windows. I rolled a one, but I'm lucky, so I'm rolling again. All right, 13. Lucky you. No, you don't notice anyone or anything out of the ordinary.

It seems like there's no guards around right now. Are there any little rocks around me that I could drop down? Just so you know, like little Jimmy said. Yeah, there's some rocks up here. Nothing big, not that you use as a weapon, but just some small stones. Aim for slake. Can I drop one down as a signal that everything is safe? Sure. Aim for slake, aim for slake.

A rock falls down from above in the middle of the party below. Does it hit anyone? No, I'm not going to make anyone roll for that. Jimmy, you lied to us. You're throwing rocks at us. I trusted you, little Jimmy. No, no, Gum-Gum. It's okay. It's the signal. It's the signal. I'm okay with letting little Jimmy go at this point. What?

Uh, I mean, do we need to... Sleep. Cast him. Go to make him go to sleep. Sleep! Our sleep machine went up into the trees. Okay. Sleep or spectral? Do you guys catch sleep? Uh, no. Sorry, Kyborg. We don't know that one. What? No? That's okay. No. Jimmy, it's okay. You can just stay with me.

Can I knock him unconscious? Can I put him in a sleeper hold? No. You want to use your new tail, your new fangled tail to like choke him out or something? No, little Jimmy's my friend. I would never hurt him. Little Jimmy held up his side of the deal. I think we should let little Jimmy go and join our friend Bart. Why don't we let little Jimmy decide? Why don't you guys hurry the hell up down there? I know. I'm trying not to let Bart die. It's safe. I sent you the dang symbol.

It's just like, it's just a hail of rocks all coming down on us. Yeah, okay, little Jimmy, what would you like to happen? Uh, little Jimmy would like to go now, thank you. Alright. It hurts me to say this, to hear that. I untether him. Okay. Consider our friendship over. Okay then, uh, good luck. He, uh, runs off and, uh, back into the brush. I grab him by the cape.

Give me your cowl. What? Like, no. They're going to get mad at me. They're going to take this out of my stipend. Give me your bloody cowl. Are you robbing me? Yes. You already took my weapons. You shot an arrow at us. You don't want to make this worse. Give me the cowl. Oh.

He takes off his cape and gives it to you. Okay. I hand it to Gum-Gum. Oh. Okay. I'll put it down. And then, all right, we should lock up Mud, and he can be our prisoner. Stop it.

Mud grabs a vine. Thank you. You also begin ascending up with good boy Bart, who's progressing the story. Good boy Bart. I change my cloak of many fashions to match little Jimmy's cloak, I guess, which is just black evergard. And then I also hold a vine and go up. Do it for the vine. All right. I'll do the same. All right. All of you go up, and you're all also on that same little wooden platform outside the bungalow.

I guess we should go in. Is the music like Donkey Kong themed up here? We're in like a different little world? Donkey Kong Jr. I open the door. Okay, yeah, you open up the door and it's a rectangular room with vaulted ceilings and windows. It's a pair of doors to the northern and southern walls and a long wooden platform sits along the eastern wall with vines. And inside you see there's a few racks and shelves filled with equipment and weapons and stacks of barrels in between them. Anybody in here?

No, not that you see. Any good weapons? I mean, you can't really tell. You're a little far away. It seems like it's just mundane melee and ranged weapons. Nothing that stands out from a distance. No special arrows? No. Which direction are we coming from? You all came in from the east. Okay. So there's doors to the north and the south. Doors to the right and left of us. Okay. Here I am.

Yeah, can I do a look around this room to see if there's anything to be concerned about? Yeah, make a perception check, I guess. 17? 17. Yeah, now that you look closer, something does seem weird to you. Something seems off. You think that there's two creatures hiding in this room. Where? Like behind the barrels, maybe?

They're like humanoids that seem to be made out of wood, and they're blending into the walls. Uh, there's one by the north door and one by the south door. That's horrifying. Do they seem dangerous, or just, like, they're hanging out? This is their room.

Well, they haven't moved yet, so you're not sure. Do that weird plant speech thing that you... It's for plants in particular. I think they're camouflaged. Do you want me to shoot one? Do you want me to shoot it? Yeah, you take north, I'll take south. Wait, for real? Can we do this? Do it.

Okay. I shoot my longbow triumph at wherever mud is pointing at me. You said they were creatures that look camouflaged to be made of wood? They're like, yeah, humanoid creatures, but they seem like they're made out of like wood. So they're like really blend in with the wooden walls. Okay. Oh man. I thought they would be something else. Like I can have my bow trained on them and then you can have your wand trained at the other. And then we just say, Hey, we see you. Okay. All right.

Well, hey, wooden creatures, we will shoot you. We see you. You're right there. I see you. What are you doing? It, like, removes itself from the wall, starts reaching out towards you, Kyborg, as it says, Contraband!

No. My name is Gum-Gum, and he is Kyborg. Contraband. What are we bringing in that's contraband? Uh, the weapons. Our human flesh? It fires a needle from its arm at you. Make a dexterity saving throw, Kyborg. Okay. That is a 19. Oh, yeah, you easily dodge out of the way, but as you move, the needle continues past you and hits one of the barrels, which then, for some reason, ignites and explodes.

causing the bungalow to split in half down the center. Whoa! Goodness. I didn't do it.

The party's all on one side with this being, and Sleek and Spectral are on the other side of the bungalow with the other being. Like, split? Like, are we in combat? We're going to have to get into combat next episode. Oh! So thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back again next week. Find out what are those weird things, what is contraband, and what will become of the party without the aid of Sleek and Spectral. Good one, Gus!

All right. We'll talk to you guys next week. Bye. Bye. Who put exploding barrels in your treehouse bungalow? Yeah, that was really dumb. What interior designer did that?