C01 - Ep. 37 - Wight Winter - Revenge of the Wraith
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This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Welcome back to all you woodworlds. Stride your stumps on into the stinky dragon. Sip up our latest sap, the Uprooty Tooty Fruity. It's a mixture of maple syrup, sarsaparilla, regen rum, topped with your choice of freshly sliced fruit. This saccharine swill has more heart than a will and sacrifice.

Previously, our adventurers dug their way out from a falling building only to enter a courtyard of chaos. They soothed the spooked horse, careened through crossbow crossfire, played music for a mob, and stepped into a cyclone stadium. Can they reach the sacred tree and stop a century of war? Let's not beat around the bush and see what's in store.

Hello, everyone. Welcome back to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. We're here. We're ready to fight whatever comes across our way. I'm ready to fight the adventurers. The adventurers are ready to fight us. We're here. We're queer. Well, not everyone. Some of us. Maybe one of us. One and a half. One and a half. I do like that whenever Gus records his tavern voice thing, he's been doing it live in front of us now more often. So we're just imagine six adults in this recording just kind of waiting as this man goes like this.

Also after a serious discussion where we're like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay, hold on. Yeah, our quote-unquote serious discussion was determining Mudd's tiger state. Yes. I can't remember sometimes if I'm an animal, if I'm not an animal, if I left the last episode as something. Usually I go off of my character sheet. And right now, according to my character sheet,

Fair, fair audience. I'm not an animal. So I'm going with that. So I don't, I don't think you were driving the cart, right? The horse drawn cart. I was driving the cart and I don't think I was a tiger driving the cart, which I would love to see a tiger driving a cart. I that's, it's adorable. It's adorable.

Do you think we spend more time trying to open doors or trying to figure out if John is an animal or not? We do that less. I'd say the doors are a much bigger thing. That's very true. In all caps, Micah typed doors. Door. We're going to need a second opinion. Doors. Yeah.

Can I give a shout out to somebody on Twitter? Yeah. At Jarmstrong said fine. I guess they must've just listened to an episode and they said, finally mud uses the immovable rod. Uh, but then they said, but seriously, these cliffhangers are killing me. Um, yes, you're welcome. Maybe sometime in the next, next 35 episodes, I'll use it again. Yeah. Cause you took it, you took it with you. I have it. I, I've been re listening, uh, to the show from the start. Uh,

while I was painting and stuff, I got so mad at that episode. I was so mad. I was like, you're still so hard.

Thinking back, though, okay, knowing how Chris plays D&D and how he just tries to find any route into a problem to, like... Break the game. To break the game, if he had gotten an immovable rod, that's like giving a nuke to North Korea. It would have been over. Jeez. This game would be so broken right now, constantly. Oh, yeah. I'd be, like, my Google history would be filled with, how do you break an immovable rod? Yeah. I think...

I feel like whatever, if we ever do another campaign with new characters, Chris should play like the dad-like character just so he has to be responsible just because I want to see that. No, no, no, no. Chris gets to be DM and I get to try to break his game all the time. I would just like to like,

Can I be the dumb, impetuous one that ruins everything for everybody? Can I be that one? Aren't you already? John, I don't think you could physically do that. I don't think your brain would let you do that. Oh, you've played video games with me where I get into a little bit of a chaos mode. That's true. John can do that. And I like to cause trouble. But it's just like, in this show, we gotta do stuff. Yeah.

Someone has to be the we do stuff guy. Well, I want you to play a compulsive liar, John. I'd love to. It would totally, it would be fun. You mean you would hate that?

In this fictional world, I'd be fine with it. I'm just, because you're lying, so you'd say you hate that. Because everything you say is a lie. It's good. I'm right there with you. It's not opposite day to day, guys. Or is it? Let's play some D&D. Gum Gum, as you're staring down a smug-looking Osmond, you are caught off guard by a drenched snow bice behind you that snatches Knive and pulls him into the icy water.

You had an action ready. If you want to do anything, you can at this point. Yeah, I want to do something. I want my little boy, King, getting iced away. Can I... What you got? Ice to see you, Gum Gum says. There it is. There it is. That was good. Chill. Sorry, I'm just rattling off Arnold Schwarzenegger quotes from Batman and Robin. How could you not?

I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna attach, tie a rope to him and then tie the other end to me and pull. Is he, he's already grabbed it in the water. He's like, it's like he just came up and grabbed him and dove down. Like you don't have time to. Oh, so he's in the water. Right. Okay, I'm diving in after. Oh, diving in. But can I tie a rope to me and then dive in? Can Gum Gum canonically swim? Have any of us swam in this game before?

What are you going to tie the other end to? You're just going to tie a rope to you that you have in your own bag? That's what Gum-Gum might do. He just ties a rope to himself, leaves the rope on the thing, and thinks that's what works. That's Gum-Gum. I think Gum-Gum would do that. Okay, so you pull one end of the rope out from your pack, tie it around your waist, and dive into the water. I've got this, guys! You know what would really come in handy right now? An immovable rod. It would. Stop!

It would. It really, really would. Oh, my God. I guess you'll just have to get to me. Okay. Suckers. Synergy. Synergy. So I dive in. Do I see anything or do I see in the water? If you're not familiar with the rules of swimming in D&D, I'm going to read over them real fast with you. I'm not, actually. So each foot of movement costs one extra foot.

So, you know, for example, if your movement's 30, then your movement becomes 15. So it's halving your movement. Yeah. So I believe your movement is 30, GumGum, so you'd be able to move 15 right now while you're swimming. You're the deep end of the pool. I'm not allowed.

What do I see when I open my eyes underwater? Water. Make a perception check. Okay. Blurred vision. I don't know. When do you typically see? That's a five. A five. The water stings your eyes a bit. It's difficult to see. You think you see the shadow of a quickly moving snowbeist under the water. I'm going to...

- You swim towards it. - Okay, you swim 15 feet towards the snowbeist. - Guess so. Can I throw my spear in it? - Actually, wait, hold on. You used your move action to jump. - That's right. - So now this move is all you can do, 'cause all you have left is either another movement action or an attack action. So by jumping in, like tying the rope to yourself, diving in and swimming, that's your second move. So that is your entire action. That's all you can do. - That's right, okay. So I'm 15 feet towards it. - Yes, correct.

So let's see now we have Sleek and after Sleek is Bart. Just FYI Bart. Sleek is going to cast some... Let's see he begins channeling Arcane Energy's. And Osman must make a saving throw. He rolled a seven. I'm pretty sure that's fail. I'm double checking. That is indeed a fail. So Osman takes some damage.

Osmund takes one point of damage. Way to go, Slee! Thrilling battle. He gets a paper cut. Not great rolls. Bart, what do you want to do? How far am I from Osmund right now? You got blown away by the strong gust of wind, so you're a little further away. You're going to be about 35, 40 feet away, something like that. Excellent. I would like to cast Dissonant Whispers at Osmund. Ooh. Ha!

That's pretty good. He must make a wisdom saving throw. So he's going to make that right now. Oh, he rolled a one. He definitely fails that. Yay. So he does three. I had D6. We love a successful spell. Psychic damage. It's 12. 12 points of damage. And then what does he do? He has to run away or something? Let me see. He must immediately use its reaction if available to move as far as its speed allows away from you.

So he does have reaction. So like I said, he was just getting out of the water. So he's going to make a beeline away from you. You were blown up to the north by the wind. So he's going to make a beeline to the southern edge of the arena.

So Osman's now in South Korea. Yeah, so he's like on the opposite end of the arena now. How did I say that weird? He's on the opposite end of the arena now from you. Opposite send. I thought that's what I said. So he's about 65, 70 feet more or less away from you now. And where's the water in conjunction to where this is all happening? It's largely in the middle. So the arena's kind of circular and the water is like in the middle where the tree was. Okay, so he's south of that and I'm north of that. Yeah, correct. Correct.

And it's like the only solid land left is kind of, it looks kind of like a very thin donut. There's like bits of land around the outer edge of the ring and like the middle part is largely water. And tell us again, so the tree submerged into water? Yeah, like all of the snow kind of melted and became water. So now it's largely underwater. You could already see a few little branches poking out from the snow and you can still see that sticking up above the water. But now instead of being buried in snow, it's underwater.

So is it like this picture I just posted in Discord where the pink is the land and the hole in the middle is the water? Interesting. I just posted a picture of a donut from Simpsons. You posted a picture of a donut. Yes, except the pink donut part is much thinner and the water part is much larger. But yes, that is the gist of it. Gotcha. Man, I want a donut now. I literally just went Simpsons donut. So it's more of an onion ring. An onion ring. Yeah, more of an onion ring. That's a good way to put it, yeah. Here to help. I get your message.

Mike is accusing you of stealing his map. Is there anything else you want to do, Bart?

I feel like I should maybe get closer to the water to help Gum-Gum out, but I also don't want to be too close in case that snowbite gets out and then I'm... Roll a perception check for me, Bart. That is a 16. I would say you can still see the shadow of Gum-Gum in the water, and he is kind of far from you, so if you wanted to try to help him, you'd have to jump in the water as well. Okay. I'll just stay where I am. Okay. Yeah.

It's Knives' turn after Knive is Mud. Knive is going to try to make a strength check to see if he can get free. Well, he rolled a one. That's not great. Good lord. My rolls are terrible today. The Snow Bice did still beat him, though. So yeah, the Snow Bice still has him under control, and the Snow Bice is not acting. So Knive just struggles this round and tries to move around. Mud, you're up. Then after Mud is Kyborg.

How far am I from where Gum-Gum jumped in the water? You were able to hold your ground. You and Gum-Gum both held your ground, so you were close to each other, but he jumped away using the Ring of Jump. I believe he jumped away about 20 to 30 feet and then dove into the water. So I'd say you're about 20 to 30 feet from his point of entry into the water. Okay. And then from point of entry into the water, how far away is the snow vice now at this point?

Make a perception check. That's a nat 20 plus 7, so 27. Oh, okay. Yeah, you can see very clearly. You can see both the shadow of Gum-Gum and the shadow of the Snow Beist. And the Snow Beist is...

pretty central. Like he made some moves. He's pretty central in the water crossing over what would be the tree at this point. That's why I'm trying to figure out what spell I can pull off. So I was wondering if there's like a distance check on if I were to get to where Gum Gum went into the water and I don't get in the water, how far away is the snow bias for me at that point?

Oh, that's a good question. Oh, one thing I failed to mention earlier is I mentioned it on the previous episode that there were stalagmites sticking up from the ground on the floor of the arena. So those little points are also still sticking out in the water. There's not very many of them, but those are...

Also sticking out at a few points around. - They're sharp. - Are you saying that 'cause those are things that we could either hit or that we can use for traversal? - You could like swim to them and pull yourself up, yeah. - Okay, traversal. - I'm only mentioning it now 'cause in looking at the map, I saw them and I'm like, oh yeah, I forgot to mention them. It's not that it's crucial right now in this moment or anything. - Okay. - Okay, anyway, your question was if you move to where Gum-Gum jumped into the water, how far is the snowbite from there? - Yeah. - I'd say about 25 feet or so. - Okay.

That's doable. Okay, if I, uh, move to where Gum-Gum went in the water, and his rope is sitting there, right? No.

No, the rope is still in his pack. Oh, he took the rope with him. He didn't leave the rope with him. Okay. Right. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. I go to the water. The rope would be on the shore, right? Isn't it the thing? It's like the trope where it's unraveling slowly before giving someone time to jump on it? That's what I thought Chris was trying to describe. Yeah. The way I described it when I was repeating to confirm was that you pulled one end out from your bag, tied it around you, and jumped in with the rest of the rope still in your bag.

That's what I said. Oops. How long is the rope? Because we can math this. If he's only gone 15 feet. I was thinking it was still on the ground. Okay. It's still on the ground then. Okay. But I didn't tie it to anything, so it would have been useless. Yeah, he didn't tie it to anything. He just left a loose rope on the ground. Okay. Right, but if the rope is like 20, 30 feet. Right. It's unraveling. We still have time. Yeah, the rope in D&D normally is pretty long. It would definitely still be there unraveling if you left it on the ground. Okay. Long rope of triumph. I mean, physics.

Based on Gum Gum's weight. No, no, no. Would I be able to tie the rope to something and still have an action for a spell? No, because it's a move and then picking up the rope and tying it would be also an action. The only spell you'd be able to cast would be like if it was a bonus action. If you didn't have to move and you were standing there, you could tie it, but you have to move and then tie. That takes up your life.

Would grabbing the rope myself count as my action? I don't think so, right? I'll give you that as a bonus action. Okay. Then I'd like to go to where Gungun fell in the water. I'm going to grab the rope. I'm a big guy. I can pull this little half-orc boy back up if I need to. And I'm going to cast... Could I cast...

shape water where the snowbeist is. And because I can change the flow of the water, would that be able to hinder its ability to move much further if literally the current in a five foot cube around it is pushing against it the other direction towards Gum Gum? Let me verify the snowbeist is not large. It's a large creature. So you could slow it down or potentially have the current push it up.

I don't know if you could, like, make it flow backwards, though, because it's so big. Okay, wait. So I can make the Snow Bites flow up? Right. You could make an updraft. Yeah. You could push it up, or you could slow it down, but I don't think you could turn it around, like, 180. You couldn't force it to go backwards. No, that's what I mean. I was wondering if maybe I could almost make it do a full stop, so make it easier for Gungam to swim to it. Yeah, it wouldn't be a full stop, but it would be a significant slowdown.

Okay. Then I would like to waterbend this mofo and help Gum-Gum in his little swimmies. Language. Little swimmies. Mud conjures up his waterbending abilities and the snow bison seems to slow down. I guess the only people who would notice would probably be Bart and Gum-Gum because they were both looking at the snow bison in the water. Okay.

Is that it for you? That's it for me. I'm bracing with all of my fear bog weight to pull that boy. All right. Kyborg, you're up. Then we have a couple of NPCs and then Gum Gum, you'll be after them. Okay. Did I survive the wind blast? I thought I did, right? Yeah, I believe you and Mud stood your ground. Okay. And then I had recently shot an arrow at Osman. Where is he? And what's he looking like?

He, after the Vicious Mockery, you know, he emerged from the water, got Vicious Mockery, and then ran straight to the south and is still, you know, under the effects of that Vicious Mockery. So he's, you know, he's taking some damage. He's beaten up a little bit, and he's on the southern edge of the ring. So, like, within shooting distance? Oh, yeah. Their shooting distance is really far, isn't it? Shooting distance? Yeah, it's 150 to 300. Yeah. You could hit anything in this arena with your bow. Bet your butt I could. I'm just confused what I should do with, yeah.

I feel like we've already got enough people in the water thing. Yeah, I think focusing on getting that Osmond taken care of is not a bad thing. Yeah, it's just Gum-Gum underwater. I got him. I got him. All right. Well, you know the thing about a Gum-Gum? It's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes, like a dog's eye.

I'm just imagining Gum-Gum swimming like a shark. Gum-Gum doggy paddles. All right, I'll take a shot. Real fast, Micah sent me a quick correction. It was Gum-Gum and Kyborg who successfully made the saving throw against the wind, not Mud. So Mud, you would have been blown away. So you would have approached...

where Gum-Gum jumped into the water from the north from where Bart was instead of coming from the south. Would that impair my ability to reach that point anymore? No, no, no. Just for clarity, you came from the other direction. Thank you for clarity. Thank you, Micah. Okay, sorry to interrupt, Blaine. Oh, and Vinkane... Oh, shoot. Knive or... No, not Knive. V... V-Head. Head Ward is fighting with... Spectral. Spectral. Spectral. Okay. Okay.

I don't feel like I need to intervene. Based on your rolls, I feel like they're probably not doing much damage. It seems like they're in a slappy fight. Well, they're also, I mean, that's what's causing a lot of the magic. Remember, there were lightning strikes that almost hit you guys. There was the wind that blew you around. The snow melted because of, like, the fallout. It's actually a huge battle going on. If we were in Warcraft right now, I would scream, please don't pull aggro. Oh, okay. Yeah, then I'll just take a shot at Osman because I don't know what he's doing. He's just running away, I guess. Ooh, 16. That

That does hit. Damage is 13. 13? That's so much damage. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah, it is, Gus. Oops, all damage. I rolled a D8. I rolled an 8 on a D8, so. Yeah, wow. I mean, you let an arrow fly and it hits him. He's running away from you, so it probably hits him like in the lower back and he seems to like double over. He's in, it looks like he's in incredible pain. He's not looking very good. Barely clinging to life down there.

Oh, we already debated if that's an attack of opportunity, opportunity. Why did I say it like that? What? Sorry, I'm having a stroke. Never mind, never mind.

He's running away, so I thought I would get an attack of opportunity. No. But I think that we already discussed that, and it is not in the cards. Opportunity, opportunity? He would have to leave the space that you are threatening with a melee attack. So he'd have to be, like, within five feet of you. That's when you get, like, a melee attack of opportunity. Okay. Prestidigitation, is that a bonus? Prestidigitation. Casting time is one action, so no. Okay. Okay.

Uh, there's nothing else I can do. I was gonna see if I could help Gum-Gum in some way, but I'll take my shot. Chip away at that Ozzie. Uh, after the landing, that sweet shot, I do like a spin, a slight moonwalk, and then a hee-hee. Always with style. Uh, make a performance check. Roll for slipping on the ice. Performance check. Oh, God. You go prone. You die. Yeah, you fall on one of those stalactites. Negative two. Ooh, that's a zero.

Oh, he got a two minus two on performance. You try to give it your best Michael Jackson impression, but it falls very flat. He chokes on his spit while he tries to go. You choke, your voice cracks, the ice cracks under your feet. So cool. Fortunately, no one was looking. Everyone was very busy. He farts a little bit. Oh!

Micah says your shoelaces get tied together. Magically. By themselves. Okay. It's Osman's turn, but around the same time that it's his turn, you see Ward hurl a massive anchor to Spectral's back. We see lightning strike all around the arena. Now,

Not really close to you guys like last time, but still all over the place, all around the arena. Very dangerous. Okay, Osman doesn't have to run away anymore. Osman, what will you do? Run away and never return, like Scar said.

Simba. Is it a Tyler Simpson's reference? Runaways. Yeah. Okay. He is. He's not happy that Kyborg did so much damage to him. I wouldn't be either. And Bart. Psychic damage. Well, he can physically see where the arrow came from. He knows that. So he readies his pickaxe, the one that's shaped like an anchor, and he throws it at you, Kyborg.

How far is this dude? Uh, it's about 50 feet away or so. Okay. That is a 17 plus 7. That's a 24, which I assume is a hit. Yeah, this is a big hit. The conger is about to get hit by a giant pickaxe. I'm just like, wee! It's going to be like a Roadrunner cartoon where there's a giant shadow that's just getting larger.

You take six points of piercing damage from it. Not bad. And now you need to make a strength saving throw. Ah, my specialty. Here we go. 20. Oh, it's a 14 plus a six. It's a 20. The pick...

you know, hits you and tries, you know, you feel it pulling at you like he's trying to pull you closer to him. But, you know, you plant your feet after your smooth Michael Jackson moves and hold your own and the pick, you know, pulls free and retracts back to Osman. Oh. He pulls it back. He was trying to Mjolnir you. Or is it hooked up by a chain or magic? Yeah, you see now he's got like a rope on it. Oh, he's scorpioning me. Scorpioning me. He tried to. He said, get over here. Get over here.

Alright. Now what's he gonna do? He's gonna try to move a little bit to the east to get back up to the ridge, try to get the higher ground, and, uh, survey the situation. Don't do it, Anakin.

Snowbeist. He is also going to continue swimming to the east. He's slowed down. So normally he'd be able to move 20 feet in this water, but you said you were slowing him down, right, John, with your shape water? Yeah. Okay, yeah. So normally he'd move 20 feet, but we'll say instead he moves half of that. So he's only able to move 10 feet this round and continues moving to the east.

Your spell actually probably did a lot of help because if you hadn't slowed him down with 20 feet, he'd probably been able to get to the edge back up to the land at this point. So you kept him in the water this turn. So he's underwater, right? Yes. Yeah. Gum Gum, you're up. Then Sleek, then Bart. Okay. And you're underwater as well. Can I swim towards the guy? Snow Bice. The creature and... Snow Bice. And little Nye. Science guy. Knife. Knife. Sniff.

- Yeah, you have, what do we say? 15 feet of swim? - Yeah, how far away are they? - Yeah, I'm trying to think how far you'd get. So he only moved 10 this time. He was a, yeah, you would get, you would, I would say on this turn, you would catch up to them. - Can I catch up to them and try and grab the kid? - Yeah, make like a, like an opposed strength check with the snowbice to see if you can pull Knive out. If you use his name, you won't forget it as often. - Knive!

I'm gonna let you go first. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's 13, but I'm raging, so I have an advantage. Strength check? Yeah. That's a 16+. I'm gonna also use my bonus thing that Bart gave me, like, last, like, forever ago. Flapped my butt. How forever ago was it? It was in the fight of the, with the lord of the guy that was trying to- Are you able to use it that far away from when I gave it to you? Yeah, that's why I'm asking. Well, timeline-wise, it was within an hour, right? Yeah.

- Which buff was it? - Was it Bardic Inspiration? - Bardic Inspiration. - It only lasts for 10 minutes. - Oh. - So no, it would have been longer than that. - Dang. Well then 16, it is. - Okay, 16. - Still pretty good roll. - I'm gonna roll for the Snow Beist. The Snow Beist has a plus four on this roll.

God, a two plus four is six. Yes! Woo! Yeah, I'll say you get in there and start wrestling with the snow bicep. You probably caught him by surprise. You probably didn't realize you had jumped in and were swimming after him, so he didn't really have as solid of a grip on Knives as he could have had. So yeah, you sneak up in there and pull Knives away out of his arm. He didn't hear Gum-Gum just constantly saying, da-da-da.

Sorry. And then do I have any ability to swim back or is that pretty much my movement? No, that was your entire movement because your move is 15. You used all of that to catch up to them. Then your action was the strength check to try to pull Nive away. So you're still there next to the snowbites. So now I'm just hugging the kid. Yeah.

You got him. You got him out of the snow by a script. That's good. Yeah. Sleek. Sleek, my friend. What can you do? Sleek now has no friends. Sleek being friends with the DM is like being friends with the cafeteria lady at school. That's not a real question.

That's great. That's a burn. Your anti-Sleek agenda is affecting the rest of the party, Blaine. It really is. Good. I'm sorry. How much damage did Sleek do his last turn? One.

He's trying. Tried a lot harder when he was trying to destroy a city. How many times do I have to say it? I do not have my loot. Maybe you guys should be looking for his loot. That way he can do more damage. Wait, would he even be around? Like, I thought we left that way back. We're in like some foreign land. What's-her-face has it. Parasite.

Paralite took it. Yeah. And Paralite's not here. Correct. So just whatever that boy's going to do, do it. Whatever his turn is. Go ahead, Sleek. Waste your time. We're waiting. He's going to go ahead. Oh, what's he going to do? He's going to cast a spell. Oh, watch out, guys. Hold your breath. Here we go. Oh, me. Good.

He casts a spell, and you see one of the polar bears that was up on the ridge turn around and start running towards Osman. Do we want to know what spell he cast? Nah. You can make an arcana check. Mud checks to see if Sleek cast fear. 13. 13. 13.

You think that he cast some kind of enchantment on that polar bear. To ally with Osmond. Weird. To help him. Yeah. Where are we? That's Sleek. Bart. After Bart is Knife, then Mud. Just FYI. I am a little concerned about Spectral right now since he's off fighting Ward by himself. Am I within 90 feet of him? I'm on the north side of the donut. Okay.

Yeah, you're within 90 feet. Excellent. I don't know if this will work, but could I try to cast sleep on ward? Oh, that's an interesting one. Sleep. Yeah, I mean, you can cast it. You just need to see how many hit points of creatures you can affect. So you pick a point and then within 20 feet of there, you know, you would roll hit points or hit die 5d8 and determine how many hit points you affect.

You can try it. I will say in the past, because you have to roll 5d8 with higher level creatures, you normally don't roll high enough to affect them. Like even if you rolled all eights, you could affect him if he had 40 hit points. Okay. So it's probably not going to work. Yeah. Just from a math perspective, it's like, it's tricky and difficult.

You would know from here that he probably has more than that. He's probably too strong and would resist the sleep. - For reference, Mud is 36 hit points and I'm not a boss. - How far am I from them right now then? - Spectral and Ward? - Yeah. - Say about 50 to 60 feet, somewhere in that range. - Let's say it's 50. - Okay, let's say it's 50. - So could I move my maximum walking speed towards them? So that'd be 25 feet? - Yes.

And then could I try to cast Suggestion on Ward? - Suggestion. So range is 30 feet. So that's why you wanna get closer. Yeah. Then he must make a wisdom saving throw, but you could try to persuade him to do something as long as it sounds reasonable to them. - And as long as it doesn't, it's not like asking them to hurt themselves essentially.

Right, it says that you must be warded in a way to make the course of action sound reasonable. So not like stab itself or light itself on fire or do something obviously harmful. My suggestion would be stop fighting Spectral and leave him be. Stop fighting Spectral, leave him be. So he has to make a wisdom saving throw. Looks like it's DC 13.

Fart often doesn't choose violence. Ten. What is his wisdom? Less than three. Less than three. It is plus one, so 11. Yay! Are you suggesting for him to do something other? No, just to stop fighting Spectral. So Spectral's just going to keep beating on him while he does nothing. I just imagine an infinite we want to keep safe. Sure, sure. Yeah, of the two, there's one that we need to take home with us. Ha ha ha!

Oh, man. I don't like this. Okay, yeah. You see Ward seems like he, you know, almost like powers down a little bit. You know, he takes a step back and seems to be not as aggressive in his posturing.

Good, good. Bart does that thing that Chris Pratt does in Jurassic Park with the velociraptors. Blue? Where he puts his arms out? You put your hands out, yeah. Okay, so that duration is concentration up to eight hours. Oh, wow. Yeah, so I'll just... I'm still concentrating right now. Okay, where are we? So that was Bart Knife.

Knife is now in Gum-Gum's arms, so he is not going to resist. He'll delay any action until something else happens. Mud, you're up, and then after Mud is Kaiba. Well, I've caught a Gum-Gum and a Knife, so can I... Reel them in. Here we go. Can I reel them in, get them away from the snowbites? Yeah, you'd have to make a strength check to pull them in.

because they're pretty heavy and they have a lot of drag on them. So you could do that. Then I cast Guidance on myself and do a strength check. You're going to cast Bud Light while you're out there fishing? Nat 20 plus 2 plus...

3, 25. 25. You really put your back into it. You feel otherworldly strength coursing through your veins, and you start pulling on the rope. And yeah, I will say you're able to pull both Gum-Gum and Knives back up onto the shore by you. Oh, it's a big one. Oh, I've got a big one. It's coming in. Oh, I've got it. I've got it. I want to see you take the picture of you holding up Gum-Gum upside down.

it's a five footer it's funny because like in my mind gum gum and mud are like similar size and weight even though i know that's not true but like that's just how i picture you guys so it's just like it's big and yeah all right that's my turn i mean gum gum's close that's pretty big no one's as big as mud okay you pull them out and uh uh as you pull them out into the water uh knife says

Very good at distractions, at small little gum gum.

All right. That's your whole turn, I take it, Mud? Yeah, I figured that's all I can do, right? Other than bonus actions. Yeah, unless you had like a bonus action or something. I would love to turn into a swimmy thing, but I don't have swimming ability yet, I don't think. Do I? Even if you turn into a creature that can swim?

Oh, I can swim now, right? I think that spell got upgraded when we leveled up last time. Or like last time I was able to upgrade that spell. And I think I might be at swimmy's level. Can I check that real quick? Because I might want to turn into something that's got some good swim speed. You can, but with the caveat that you have to wear floaties. This is for wild shape? Yeah. Yeah. As of level four, you just can't fly.

Well then. Nice. Mud turns into a... What, wild shape is an action? Nope. Nope. Oh, you have combat wild shape. I got combat wild shape. You can use wild shape as a bonus action. So, yeah. I feel like you should get an inspiration die taken away if you tell the DM, nope.

I like the way Barbara thinks. If he's wrong? No, I know. Teacher, that is incorrect. Yeah, at level two, your limitations are no flying or swimming speed, but then when you hit level four, it's only no flying speed. Yeah, so I'm going to turn into a sea otter. Sea otter versus snowbeast. Fight.

- Cool, there's now an otter on the shore next to Gum Gum and Nine. - They're Otterby. - Hey. - That wasn't good, I'll see myself. - Kyborg.

How's Osman looking? Not great. Not great at all. Okay. So this entire time, Fred, the little fox, has been perching up, like, out from under my shirt, you know? Because that's where I've been keeping him, my little fox. And I give him a kiss on the head because this one's for him because Osman's responsible for him being in the fighting pits. And then I take a shot. Longbow triumph. Yikes. That's a 10. Yeah.

He rolled a 10. Why do you hate your fox so much? Inspiration die. The fox is telling you to save him. No, no, no. Inspiration die. Inspiration die. He's whimpering. 18. 18. That actually hits, unlike a 10. All right. And rolling for damage. It's a 1 plus 5, 6. Okay. Yeah. The arrow. This one flies. Flies true. Hits Osman in the neck. Oh.

He falls to his knees. And he looks at you, raises a fist, and says, "The hunter becomes the hunted." And he collapses dead. I'm a loser. I can't hear you! You're really far away! What?!

Like that scene from Shazam where Mark Strong is monologuing super far away from you. I can't, you're like 80 feet away from me, dude. Perfect, perfect scene.

Do you have any questions about the show? Perhaps a query for the cast or a character? Maybe you're curious what's going on behind the Dungeon Master screen? Go ahead and post it on Twitter using hashtag StinkyDragonPod. It might end up in the show. Speaking of social media, give us a follow on Twitter and Instagram at StinkyDragonPod. Maybe share a post that we put there.

with other people that you know or you're friends with. It's a really good way to help the podcast grow. We would really appreciate it. And if you engage on social media, you might end up as a character, as an NPC in the show. Speaking of characters, we do cast other people here at Rooster Teeth as some of the voices. So we want to give a shout out to Spectral, who's being played by Christian Young, at XChinYoung, from Rooster Teeth Broadcast. I guess at XChinYoung.

Christian Young. It's got to have a play on Christian Young. Play it on his name there. Captain Marge is the host of the podcast No Dumb Answers. Zoe at Zoe Terhune. She's also a long-time staff person here at Rooster Teeth. So a big thank you to Christian and Zoe for being voices. That was Kyborg. It's Osman's turn. He just continues to be dead. Ha ha ha!

It's super effective. Nat 20. Yeah. Snow Beist. He's going to... He's going to swim after Gum-Gum and Knife. And comes out, pulls himself up onto the shore. He's going to look at his foes in front of him, but he's most mad at Gum-Gum for taking Knife from him. He, like, focuses his gaze on you, Gum-Gum. You need to make a constitution saving throw. Oh, yeah. 22. 22.

Gum-Gum glares back. Blue steel. Except he doesn't know what glaring actually is, so he's just blinking really hard. He, uh, you know, you stare back at him, which he takes as an insult, so he roars in your face, uh, then takes a swipe at you with his left claw. Hitting on a 23, which I assume is a hit. Yeah, it hits. So what of it? Uh, it does five points of slashing damage where you take half of that because you're raging, so you take two. Pfft.

Uh, but you also take a little bit of cold damage from that, which is not halved. You take five points of cold damage. I have a question. Okay. That move I just did, count as an attack. What move? Me fighting, grabbing the little kid. No, it's not an attack. It's just an action. Well, then I think my rage would have ended. Do you have to attack? Rage ends early if you're knocked unconscious or if your turn ends and you haven't attacked since your last turn.

Oh, yeah. Your rage would have ended. I don't think I've ever encountered that with a barbarian before. A rage ending? Yeah, rage ends because they fail to attack. Oh, interesting. That's why I wanted to attack at the end there. Uh.

Oh, I see. Did you just out yourself? Look at him, he's, you know, that's fair. That's, uh, that's honest. So I appreciate that. So, uh, instead, uh, on the first attack, instead of taking two, then you take five points on that one. Okay. Just in spite of you, I put my shield back on. Uh, and then the, uh, Snow Bice makes a second claw attack with its right claw. Not to be confused with a white claw. Okay.

But he totally misses and stumbles a little bit. He's just so furious. He can't control himself. He's a little off balance now. Gum Gum, it's your turn. All right. Then after Gum Gum, a couple of NPCs and then Barton.

So, they're about to swim away, right? Him and the kid? They haven't said that, but mud turned into a sea otter, and you did hear Knive talk about going to the trees, so it's a pretty safe assumption that yes, but they are still there with you. Alright, well then, I'm gonna rage again, I guess. Rage against the machine. I'm a wee-wage.

and roll my thingy. I didn't even use my last thing that made the weapon come back to me. Oh, right. One, which is... Let's see here. Shadowy tendrils lash around you. Each creature of your choice that you can see within 30 feet of you must succeed. Constitution, saving throw, or take D12, necrotic. Oh, that's a good one. I also gain D12 temporary hit points. Yeah. That was great.

Okay, so the only enemy within 30 feet of you is the Snowbeist. Yeah, and I want a shadowy Tindles lashing. Tindles? Tindles. Tindrles. He has a plus three on this roll. Ten.

So that's a fail. Yes! Yay! So you want to go ahead and roll that necrotic damage for it? 8 points. 8 points, yes. It says shadowy tendrils creep up from the ground, uh, and start enveloping the snowbeist. Uh, and then I want to... I'm still raging, right? For my move, can I... There's nothing to tie the rope to. Uh...

Can I try and grapple the thing so it can't swim away towards the others? You could. Micah also suggests you could tie it to a tendril. Okay, yeah. I'll do that. That's a good suggestion. Thank you, Micah. I'm going to tie the... Well, I have to tie the rope to the creature first, right? Yes. Yes.

Can I roar back at it and try and tie the rope to the snow-biced? Yeah, like I said, after his last attack, he was off balance, so I'll give you a bonus to try to do it. Go ahead and make a sleight of hand check with advantage to try to get it around him. Okay, that's a three and a two.

Sure, we'll say you're able to loop it around him with a 10. Okay. And you're able to start that process. All right. You're not attacking me, jerk. We're friends. Is your friendship, is a modified friendship bracelet? No, because we're not friends. We're not friends. Okay, okay. Friendship necklace, this one. Friendship bracelets, enemy necklace. Enemy necklace. Come on.

Gum Gum almost did a Rorschach. He could have been like, you're not trapped down here with me. Yeah, I'm not trapped down here with you. Yeah, Gum Gum's not quite that clever. No. So I tie it around him. Good to get out of here. Is that it for you, Gum Gum? I think that's all. That's by attack, right? No, that's just an action.

Because his rage was his tendrils, and that's not an action. Correct. And then he did the tying thing. Tying, that's just an action. That's not an attack action. You could substitute the tying as a move action. So could he actually just attack the snow bike? Yeah, he could. Yeah, all right. Yeah, that's an interaction with an object. Cool. Do it! And then I'm going to attack it with my greataxe recklessly. I'm just going crazy. He's pushing all the buttons. Which is 19. Oh! Wait, no.

No, 21. Oh, nice. Even better. Believe it or not, that hits. No, really? This unarmored animal, really? 17 points of damage. 17 points of damage? Wait, and that's 19 with rage. Good Lord. He rolled a D12 and rolled a 12. Wow. 12 plus 5, 17 plus 2 from rage, 19. Yeah, I mean, you're a great axe player.

lands a mighty blow on the snow bice who uh roars in pain from the blow yeah he's uh yeah he he's pretty beat up yeah that's a lot of damage is he still underwater no they're on the shore okay okay gum gum and the snow bice are on the shore got it sleek and there's uh not much to do at this point oh prepare sleek's coming here we go guys let's

Let's get ready. What's he gonna do? Well, we've basically got two objectives right now. Either get the stuff to the tree or deal with Osmund and Spectral. No, Ward. Ward and Spectral. Yeah, and Bart kind of has Ward under control at this point. Well, maybe he should talk to his friend. Hey, what? What?

Spectral and Sleek, they're supposed to be buddies. They're friends. They know each other. They're infinites. Oh, I thought you meant me. And I was like, I am distracting Ward right now. Yeah, you got that. Yeah. So then the one useful thing Sleek could do right now is to go and just like calm Spectral down and like, you know,

Grab a cigarette with him or something. I don't know. That's not a bad idea. Yeah. Sleek will... No smoking, kids. Sleek will start making his way over to the eastern edge of the arena to try to get over to the grandstands to get closer to Spectral. Good.

Then after him, that polar bear that was running towards Osman before changes course and starts making a beeline for the snowbeist. Jumps in the water. Polar bears are adept swimmers. Quickly gets through the water and pops up next to Gum-Gum and the snowbeist.

Does he have enough to attack? He does not have enough. It was too far. He had to double move to get over there. He just jumps in. Hello. That was Bart. Then after Bart is Knife, then Mud. So right now, my concentration is on Ward. Correct. Keeping him from fighting Spectral. Yeah, you're keeping your suggestion going. Yes. Use that Bardic attack.

and yet spectral to chill his beans. I don't know if I could do that to two... I don't think I could do that to two deaf... Oh, no, I meant, like, literally your actual just charm, your natural bardic, you know. You're a charming guy. I am very charming. So charming, in fact, that while I'm charming one fella, let me try to talk down the other. Maybe. Maybe.

do we want him to come help us? Like, what are we, I guess, what are we trying to get Spectral to do at this point? I mean, we definitely need him to stop trying to commit walrus genocide. Yeah.

Yeah. And also to, yeah, come back with us because we need to retrieve him. So there's a few things to... We talked to God. Yeah. Am I close enough, I guess, for Spectral to hear me? You had closed to within 30 feet. Yeah. So, I mean, you can try. Yeah, you know, it's... Plus, there's a lot of weather effects and things going on, a lot of magic in the air. So it's loud, but, you know, if you shouted, you could try. Spectral! Spectral! Spectral!

Do I see him respond? Yeah, he'll, he'll, uh, turn and look in the direction of you. Uh, Bart starts waving his little hands in the air,

And he goes, you don't need to do this. He's standing down. Come help us. Come with us. It's not worth it, buddy. Kind of like one of those negotiation specialists that you see. Like a hostage negotiator or something. Yeah. Help me help you. Help me help you. Get away from the ledge. Step away from the walrus. It's not worth it.

He's definitely looking at you. You're not sure if he's like, you think he can hear you, but you're not sure if he's listening, but he's definitely looking. Make a persuasion check. You got it. It's a 16. 16. That's not bad. He seemed like he was so angry, like out of his mind, not the same Leonard that you saw before, but he does seem to be like focusing on you and listening to what you're saying now. Remember, you're Leonard Link.

Remember who you are. Remember. Remember, remember the something of November. Yeah. It's like Mufasa and the clouds. Remember who you are. Good. Yeah. Does that do anything? No.

Yeah, he turns and he seems like he's listening to you. He takes like a step or two in your direction. He definitely seems like, you know, his aggressive posture seems to be lessened. Okay. Archer starts nodding and kind of like motioning towards himself. Yeah, like his knives in his hands seems to like, you know, he's not holding them up in an offensive posture anymore. They seem to be like down and maybe like being held loosely in his hands. Okay.

Bart, the persuader. Gotta have, you know, a peacemaker on the team somehow. One of us has to have people skills. It's either Bart talks to them or Kyborg arrows them. They're two different methods. Yeah. It's Knives turn. Knive, you

You know, I guess he would look at the otter very excitedly, but then, you know, he would say, Come on, we have to hurry. And then he dives into the water. Yay. Swim good underwater adventure. Oh, he's a walrus. Yeah, he can. Yeah. Quick, Micah, make an underwater theme similar to like Sonic or Mario, where it's like what we've been listening to. No, no. The water. Donkey Kong. Oh, yeah, sure. We can do Donkey Kong.

God, it's got a great- Is that underwater? Is that just- Donkey Kong's fine. He said it sounds like blub, blub, blub. Classic. Uh, Mud, you're up. And then after Mud is Kaibou.

I jump in the water, and I am how far from the tree? Oh, you're an otter, so you have, like, swim speed. What's your swim speed? I know. It's 40. 40? Yeah, so you could get there. You know, Valorossians are walrus people, so they also swim pretty easily. So you're both able to get to the tree. Well, I guess you're able to get there, and Knife is already there when you get to the tree. Cool. Mud clenches all of his little otter muscles and...

tries to focus the amulet at the tree by holding onto the tree and holding onto the amulet or trying to push the amulet and the tree together or just doing whatever he can. Make him kiss. I don't understand exactly how this magic works, but I'm doing my best, Andy. Come on, give me something. Make an arcana check. That's only a five. I have an inspiration dice. Should I use an inspiration dice on an arcana check? Is that important? You got the little boy there. He probably knows what

This is a very sweet moment because it was his locket and it was your amulet. And you guys just happened to be there at the finish line doing the thing together. This isn't the thumbnail. I don't know what was on it.

There's not an order in the thumbnail. Is the arcana check? I'm trying to figure out how to use this magic. Yeah, I mean, like you said, you're trying to make the magic work. All right. I'll use my inspiration dice. It's eight. So three more. I have negative one on arcana. That's exactly what you needed, though. Knive also pulls out his locket.

He rolled a three. My rolls have been terrible today. It's just a little boy and his dumb otter not knowing how to use magic. Yeah, Knife pulls out his locket and he begins casting with it. And he looks at you and kind of points at your amulet and points at the tree. I'm not. I'm trying. I'm seriously trying. This thing, I didn't even find this thing. This thing came to me and I've only successfully used it like twice.

I still don't understand it. You try to talk, but it's just like bubbles are coming out of your mouth, like gurgling sound. Oh, are we underwater? Yeah. Well, as an otter, I should be able to talk underwater. I think that should be an ability that I have. It's like in cartoons when the bubbles reach the surface, they pop, and then you can hear the words out on the surface. Yeah, in that case, you're right.

I guess an otter would be able to communicate underwater. So instead of just pointing at his locket and pointing at you, you would hear Knives say, "I'm gonna cast Sunbeam. You need to cast Moonbeam."

Okay, I cast Moonbeam. There you go. I forgot you did send me that move a while back. I have no idea where that is. She pulls out a tiny otter-sized book and is just scrolling through. No, Mud remembers the feeling that he had in that room where he first cast it correctly on that spectral creature.

and he tries to accomplish that same feeling again. Okay. You hear Knife chant the arcane words. Solaris looks. What arcane words do you say, Mud? River. It's working. It's working. It's a lovely spell to cast.

You hear a really loud kaboom and a deafening explosion discharges from the center of the arena, throwing everyone to the ground. A blend of orange and blue radiance shoots straight into the sky and brilliant beams cascade from overhead like waterfalls of light. The once thundering clouds fade to reveal the night sky brimming with twinkling stars and silver moonlight.

The powdery snow underground melts away into a glade of green grass and blossoms. In the center of it all stands a towering evergreen tree emitting a soft glow and a fresh scent of pine. A little tear comes from Bart's eye. Out from behind the tree steps a radiant woman clothed in multicolored leaves and draped with clouds. Andi! Andi, the goddess, looks to Mud and Knive with kind eyes, sparkling like lightning, and says, Thank you, Mud of the Bumblecracks.

and Knife of the Gorns. I am grateful to you and your friends for your acts of bravery. It's actually Bramblecrack, but it's fine if you didn't get the name right. Of the Bramblecracks. You said Bumblecrack. Did I say Bumble? I said Bramble. I heard Bumble. I'm fine. I like the idea. I like the idea of God coming down and saying my name wrong. That's fine.

John Reisinger? Yeah. Oh, man. Someone else does that voice anyway. It's fine. They better say it wrong. They'll say it right. I give Knife a little high five. It's adorable because it's an otter and a little boy high-fiving. It's like straight out of a Disney movie. An otter and a walrus. Don't forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Andi's gaze turns towards Spectral and Ward in the stands. And now it's time the truth came out.

Andi closes her eyes and reaches down to the roots of the tree. The tree begins to pulse with light and suddenly Andi's voice reverberates in your minds. Ishbjorn, Valrosians! Cease this cycle of violence at once and heed my words. I am Andi, the goddess of changing seasons and protector of this land. Your protector.

You may look different, you may have different traditions, and you may have been told different stories about me, but the truth is, you are one people. My people. For too long, a bitter winter of bloodshed and rivalry has plagued this land, but no longer.

Your eyes all start to feel heavy and the world around slowly fades to black.

What, all of us? She's going to kill everyone. Genocide. Yeah, you all are dead. Everyone, thanks for listening to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm really glad I'm not in the water still. I just drowned. Gum gum falls asleep. That all like disappeared. Like all the water went away. You know, it all dissipated and turned into like a spring-like setting. Yeah, grass and beautiful tree and all that stuff.

Everyone go ahead and you can mark a long rest. The longest rest of all. Yay. Oh, because we did die. The longest rest ever. Then after you all mark that long rest, everyone go ahead and make me a perception check. 22. 21 for Bart. Five for Blaine. I mean, Kyborg. One for GubGum. Nice.

We'll start with Gum Gum and Kybor with their one and their five. You feel a snug blanket wrapped around you, the crackling of a warm fire nearby, and the aroma of fresh coffee. It's so cozy. Do you have to wake up? Nah, not really, right? No. Bart and Mud, both of you open your eyes and you see everyone's resting in separate beds in a room with large windows overlooking the ocean bathed with sun.

You both also notice Andi, Knives, Sleek and Spectral are all standing outside down by the docks. Looks like they're talking about something and looking out to the sea. You both also actually spot something out to sea.

It might be a whale or something else, but it's difficult to make out with the sun reflecting off the water. Um, could I go inspect what's out in the water? Or could I, like, try to look harder through my window? Uh, you'd probably have to get out onto the dock, like, try to go out and get closer. Uh, it's difficult to see from here with, like, the light reflecting off the water and the glass and everything. You need to get out and get, you know, a much closer look. Okay. Let's go. Could I go out onto the dock and take a look? Yeah. Uh, you stand up out of your bed. Uh,

And you look around and you see that there's a fresh pot of coffee nearby with some giant steins. There's also a bowl of fruit and good berries. And you see Hannibal, Gumbo, and Fred all curled up together by the fire. Oh, I love this part of the story. Let's just live in this existence for the rest of the time.

Paralite? Who's that? So you want to head out? Does anybody else want to head out? Anybody want to get coffee? Yeah, yeah. I said let's go. I wanted to go. Before I head out, I want to give all the animals just a little chin scritch. Just a little. Just a little. Animal bites you. No. Snake. Roll for venom in him. He's venomous. You die. So sorry. Thus endeth the tale. Gum Gum seizes and raises his chin to be scratched.

Yeah, I was going to ask if Gum Gum is also included in one of the animals. Yes, of course. I mean, I give him his morning daily scritches. And his leg kicks. Mud, I'm surprised you're not hitting up the coffee. Oh, there was coffee with steins. Yeah, coffee with steins and fruit and good berries. Oh, yeah. God, it's been a while since Mud has had coffee. Mud makes like two giant mugs of it. Two steins of coffee. Just.

Just double fisting, like just big old mugs of coffee. This is where I live now. Man, now I want coffee. Just talking about coffee makes me want more. Yeah, I do too. I also, Kyborg drinks a coffee. He loves coffee. And then, oh, he also rolls for a constitution saving throw because it's time for his morning constitution. It's a poop joke because coffee makes you, it's a diuretic. Never mind. Tim, what about you, Gum Gum? Are you going to get any coffee? Are you going to head out as well?

You're an educated up, uh...

You should probably come with us, but we could go nap later if you want. Okay. And then he kind of gets up, but I'm not happy about it. He, like, takes his pillow with him. Yeah. Gum Gum wants to sleep in. Bart, roll me a perception check. All right. Eleven. You see Andi at the dock, and she's looking at you. She's waving at you, and she's, like, waving at you to come down to where she's standing, down on the docks. All right.

I mean, I was already on my way there, but I'm glad to know that I'll be wanted. I continue on. Bart turns around and sees that it was, Andi wasn't actually waving. Oh, no. Does that thing where he waves back and then turns around and realizes that she's looking at someone behind him. Oh, God. And then he, like, does the thing where he, like, turns the wave into, like, scratching his head. Scratching his head. Oh.

Oh, I hate it, I hate it, I'm cringing and it's not even really happening, it's imagined. To happen to a god, though. You can't hide that, she knows. As you all head down to the docks, you feel the spray of the ocean across your faces and the smell of saltwater fills your nostrils. Andi turns to you with a soft smile and sparkling eyes. Good morning, interns. I trust you all feel rested? Quite, yeah. No.

What's wrong with Gum-Gum? What's wrong, Gum-Gum? He still wanted sleep. Gum-Gum needs 22 hours of sleep a day, so he's a little grumpy. I feel great. And he takes just a big old sip of coffee. Did you put any dirt in that coffee? Of course. I don't have to say it. I just want to make sure. Micah called you Grump-Grump. Grump-Grump. Andi says, I expect you all might have some questions.

But first, Spectral, or should I say Leonard, has something to say to you all. Right. I want to apologize to you all for putting you in an impossible position. I let my anger and sadness surrounding the loss of Yumi cloud my way. And sorry doesn't begin to make it up to you nor the people of this land. And as I said before, I will answer for my crimes.

But I've been talking with Sleek here, and a more pressing matter is at hand that I wish to help you all with. Sleek chimes in. That we both wish to help you with. I recognize that I've been a burden to you all, and I wish to make up for that too, but first we need to get back to Boulderey. A burden? No. We've all equally loved you and appreciated your presence. Yeah. You too, Bart. You're not a burden.

Uh, Knife also chimes in and says, Yes, indeed, and that's where I can help. I recognize I don't deserve the title V-King, nor do I wish to rule over this land, but I do wish to help, and I do have resources that can assist you on your journey. I heard you might be in need of a ship. Ooh, Bart. Yo-ho. Uh-huh, a ship, you say? Uh, Knife nods, and he points out to sea, and in the distance, you see a ship approaching. This is what you saw from the room earlier. And Knife says,

But that's not all. You will need supplies for your voyage, and I hope this will cover it. A knife steps aside, and behind him sits a large chest. He reaches down and opens it up to reveal piles and piles of shimmering gold glistening in the sunlight. Oh my goodness.

How much? Oh, you haven't counted it yet. It's a very large chest filled with gold. Oh, naive. How much gold is that? It should be enough to get you where you're going and then have plenty left over still. Excellent. Sweet. Well, that's going to be like 40. We're going on a cruise. Andi says, Yes, and there will be plenty of time for gathering supplies later.

But I want to assure you all, I meant what I said last night. I plan to remain here at Kaltberg for as long as it takes to restore this land and bring wholeness to its people. Knives has generously offered to help in any way he can. It will be a difficult transition, but I believe it's possible. Spectral says, Yes, and I plan to come back and be a part of that transition, but I think I should go with you all first.

Sleek tells me that in your last fight with Paralite, a few of your friends were taken and are being held captive. That's correct. Right. We totally remember that. Really happy. For any listeners who may have forgotten, as the party was heading through a portal to escape Paralite in the Glocken Tower, Blink and Sorda were captured by her and taken prisoner.

Friend is a loose term. Yeah. Brink Tussler. Yeah, I know the name. Best known as best friend of Kyborg. I do miss Sordo, though. Or maybe it's Kyborg who's best known as being best friends with Brink Tussler. No, that is no. That is what Kyborg is known for around this whole, like all the lands. False. Spectral says, I believe I know where they're being held and I can take you there.

It's tucked in a forest that actually isn't far from Boulderay. You might have even heard of it. The Elder Pines? Yes, we have heard of the Elder Pines. Can I take Spectral under my arm and be like, Hey man, listen, I've seen you at full power, and I want you to bring all that energy and all that courage and cool stuff to the next fight, okay? Because if you kind of become a little lame, we're going to let you know, you know...

Like your friend here who is worthless to us. And then I point directly at Sleek right in his face. I touch his nose even with my finger. Well, Austin is a dear friend of mine and I'm sure he's doing everything he can to help you. He's really not though. He's really not. So like, are you missing, before we go, are you missing anything? A dumb lute? An accordion?

Is there anything we need to get before we go that's going to affect your power abilities? No, I have everything I need in order to accomplish the mission. Great. I'm ready to go. I've got my boots. Okay. And it looks like the approaching ship is almost here. And as it gets closer, you hear the faint sound of music. Spectral turns away from Kyborg and says, It feels strange. We're heading to the very place I ran away from. The place where Sleek and I...

where all the Infinites lost control of our minds. But maybe we can finally bring it all to an end? It's time we bring the fight to her. Interns, are you ready to fight Paralyte? No. Define ready. I have to look at my calendar. It's a bit busy right now. That's the kind of enthusiasm I'd expect.

So, we have three of the Infinites, right? Maybe? Well, the other one's back getting healed by Dr. Achem. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Where's the fourth one? Do we know where she is? He is? They is? They is. Do we know where they is? The fourth one, is it Paralite? Is Paralite an Infinite? I thought so. It's a good thing we've gotten this whole thing figured out so well at this point. We're fine. Let's go. Well, that is the end of the episode.

The ship finally docks and lowers its anchor into the harbor. Bart, you're taken aback for a moment, wondering if you're dreaming in the ethereal plane again. But after you rub your eyes, there's no doubt in your mind as you reread the name of the ship across the bow. Jebediah.

It's your old ship led by none other than Captain Marge standing at the helm. Ahoy there, mateys! We heard ye be having a hundred year festival without us, so naturally we invited ourselves to the party. Ha ha ha ha ha!

We also heard of Arby, a tall, dense, and handsome halfling with music that can melt the hearts of angels. Something about he be needing a ride? What say ye, birdie boy? I'm home! Sailors on deck, it's showtime! Just like we practiced a two, a three,

Once upon a rhymeless time there was a halfling born With ginger hair and skin so fair, abandoned and forlorn Orphaned and without a home with nothing but some string He fashioned him a little lute and taught himself to sing Barth! Just listen to him play, he'll take your breath away From the bottom of our hearts, we're head over heels in love with you Bartholomew, Bartholomew the Barth

He grew into a densely boy, he soared to four foot four. Far and wide he sought to find a family on shore. His journey led him to the docks, strumming by the sea. His dulcet tones drew in a ship known for piracy. Just listen to him, he'll take your breath away. The bottom of our hearts, we're head over heels in love with you. Bartholomew, Bartholomew the Bard.

When the clouds block out the light He'll be with you rain or shine Rain or shine Bart, Bart Just listen to him play Bart, Bart, Bart He'll take your breath away Bart, Bart, Bart From the bottom of our hearts We're head over heels in love with you Bartholomew, Bartholomew the... Bart, Bart, Bart Just listen to him play

Bartholomew the Barth