[One Shot] Dr. Ahem's Lab - LIVE @ RTX 2021
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This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello, Stinky Dragon Dwellers. It's me, your DM slash tavern owner slash storyteller, Gustavo Sorolla. Before diving into today's episode, I want to let you know this could be a slightly different episode. This is a live show we did recently for RTX. It's a live event, Rooster Teeth Holds in Austin, Texas. We're going to have it back in person again, July 1st to 3rd, 2022. Have a live show. Maybe you can come check it out. Hint, hint.

You go get tickets right now at bit.ly/rtxregistration. Come see us in person. We'll be back next week continuing the White Winter Arc. Hopefully, we're close to finishing it. You know how that goes in D&D. It's entirely up to the players. Hopefully, you enjoyed this one-shot. Let us know on social media if you'd like to see more things like this. Anyway, let's get on to the show.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I was not anticipating it, but based on Trevor's suggestion, everyone needs to roll for BM. We've been, this show is like a couple months old now and we haven't pooped once. That's got to be a health issue. No one's ever taken the time to stop and eat some fiber. There is a reason Bart is 150 pounds.

Got the old John Wayne effect going on over there. Hello everyone, welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. It is our D&D show. We've been doing it for a little while now. How many episodes are out? We've got nine episodes out. Nine starting today. I think we just crossed our 100th episode. 100th episode. Today. Available today. I rolled a 12 for my BM, by the way. I roll a 15.

Five. 11. Barbara's pooping. No one rolled a number two? That's where I would be hitting the rim shot on my mixer. If you haven't watched Hells from the Stinky Dragon, I'm your dungeon master, Gus, and I've got our intrepid party of adventurers over here if y'all want to introduce yourselves and your characters. Barbara, we can start with you. You're closest to me. Hello, I'm Barbara, and I play Bart, who is a bard, a halfling bard,

And he's very charming. He's the tallest halfling ever. He's 4'4 and 150 pounds. Yep. Makes sense of that. Big old halfling. He's like, he's the Andre the Giant of the halflings. That's what he is. I'm John, and I play Mud Bumblecrack. Bramblecrack. Why did you say that? I've got a question. Why did you say that? Bumblecrack? Because...

I just forgot the last name of my character. - I had to do some pickups for an episode recently and I kept saying Bumblecrack. And your brother, who's the writer, had to keep coming back to me like, "Listen, you said Bumblecrack again. "His name is Bramblecrack." And I must have done it, I did it so many times. - Listen, okay, his name is Mud Bramblecrack, but in France, it's Bumblecrack. It's just different in different parts of the country. - Oh, weird. - And I play a druid.

He's a big old boy, and he likes to put dirt in his coffee. Delicious. I'm Blaine Gibson, and I play Kyborg the Mighty, who is a level three...

Wood elf. You're killing it. And he's missing an arm, and he has a prosthetic arm that he salvaged from an iron golem. What class is he? You're a rager? No. I'm a fighter. Fighter three. How do you not know your race and your class? And if you'll notice, I'm wearing a new Tales from the Seeking Dragon t-shirt, just like the rest of my cast and friends. Woo! Woo!

Look at that. You can have a dragon guarding your nipple. But only the one. The other one is his... Look at that embroidery. It's like he treats the nipple like it's his egg and he's warming it. Ow! Also for our OCD audience members, I have assorted dice that are not matched at all. You're welcome. That's going to bother you for the rest of the game. Go ahead, Chris. Well, I play Gum-Gum, who is a half-orc barbarian.

On paper. On paper. But in his heart, he's a wizard. Oh, no. That's where it counts, really. That's where you make all the best rolls from your heart. And you don't have to worry about any of those modifiers that are on the paper. We've not played D&D together in like over a year and a half. We have not played D&D together in person. Hardly at all. I don't know if I'm going to know how to navigate. We originally did some...

practice games when we first were thinking about doing D&D together in the office. Back in March of 2020, then something happened and we... Yeah, and then we haven't played D&D together. We haven't rolled dice together in that long. I just rolled a one. And that's the last time we'll roll dice together.

So for people who don't normally watch or listen to Tales from the Stinky Dragon, it's a very audio-geared podcast, and we try to make it accessible for people who don't know anything about D&D, like Blaine.

And we spend a lot of time in the audio edit. The story's written by John's brother, Micah. And I think he's been doing a phenomenal job. He also does a lot of work in post-production with Foley sounds and voice actors and trying to build a really immersive audio experience. And I think it's really good. I think it's something really fun. If you haven't, go search for Tales from Stinky Dragon wherever you listen to podcasts and subscribe. Please. Please, for the love of God. Please. Our jobs depend on it.

But for today's episode, since we don't want to do anything canonically in case people haven't kept up with the show, we're gonna do a little one-off. It's gonna reference things that you all have done in the show up until now, but if the audience has not seen or listened to a single episode, they hopefully will not be lost. - And any of us could die today. - And it will be permadeath. - Any single one of us could die. - Yes. - Any single kyborg of us might die.

If anything, it's gonna be our barbarian who's just running in and hugging people. Hugging, grappling, all the same. It's all the same. People are saying that you got rainbow dice playing, even though they're all mixed up. -I fixed it. -Oh, did you do that? Well, he messed it up again. There you go. We're back to the chromatic scale. -Weee! -That's so much better. I've got chat up here on my laptop. -Oh, good. -Let's see what chat's saying as we're playing. Okay. Our story begins one dark and stormy night in the town of Boulderae, hometown of the legendary Infa Knights.

Here at Infinite Headquarters, our four hard-working interns get a rare night's rest in their rooms, sleeping soundly. Or so they think. What do y'all think your rooms would look like? I know that's not your rooms, but it's like dorm rooms for interns. Are they each separate or are we sharing? It's up to you guys. You could have your own rooms if you wanted to, or you could bunk up together. You've been to my garage gym, right? Yeah. Okay, imagine that with a bed.

In a garage as well. Yeah, hot. 107 degrees. Is the bed in the squat rack? Yeah, of course, because I'll wake up from the night terrors and go... I would say Bart has a bunk bed, but he sleeps on the top by himself. And he has a poster of...

You know that classic poster, I think Gavin had it, of like the two women kissing? Yeah, of course. He has that one. Nice. Classic. Wait, is it above his bed? Above him? It's above his bed, and then he also has a poster of NSYNC. Does Bart make a fake Bart in the bottom bunk, like as a distraction in case anyone breaks in? Like it looks like there's someone sleeping down there, but there's really not? Yeah, that's totally what's in the bottom bunk, a fake Bart.

It's actually a fake gum gum, because you missed your gum gum. I was gonna say, whatever room Gum Gum has, he doesn't sleep in it because he gets afraid to sleep by himself. So he inevitably probably goes into Bart's room and then goes and sleeps next to the fake Bart, thinking Bart's just asleep or giving him the silent treatment or upset.

Just a very good little spoon. Yeah. The littlest of spoons. Mud, his room looks a lot like everybody's houses after being stuck in the quarantine for a year, who have acquired 16 different plants and succulent. Like Jessica Negri's corner of her house that she's posting pictures of, where it's like, are you growing? Are you trying to turn into poison ivy? It looked like she built a greenhouse or something, like an extension to her house.

That's Mud's room. Plus, he keeps smuggling in dirt into the room and just slowly is covering the floor in dirt. Does it seem like the ceiling's getting lower because the ground's getting higher from all of the dirt? Yeah, especially for him since he's like eight feet tall. I feel like that would be comfortable too. Yeah, like some cool dirt in there. It's causing a bug problem, but we're okay with it.

A lot of mites. All right. Well, like I said, everyone thinks that they're sleeping soundly, so let's have everyone go ahead and roll a Constitution check. So roll that with a d20. Like they said, this is our first time playing in person for a long time. They're used to doing this all online and clicking a button. Where it's automated for us. Where it automatically rolls and adds all the modifiers, so we may have to go over manually adding this up. Nat 20. Nat 20, first official roll. Plus, plus.

22! Nat 20! Constitution check. I got 11 plus 3, that's a 14. I, uh, 11 plus 1, 12 for Bart. I have the constitution of 12 men! 22 for Mud, 14 for Kyborg, what's that, 11 for Bart, and what about our friend Gum Gum over here? 21. 21. Oh wow. What's your constitution? Uh, plus 3. Damn. Wait, no, it's plus 5.

Which one are you looking at? You looking at saving throw or... Then it's plus... Then I have a 23.

Wait, which one are we looking at? Oh, no! Constitution. I know, but there's two constitutions. Is it a saving throw? It's a saving throw. And then there's this one. No, not the saving throw. Oh, then just the constitution on the far left. Oh, yeah, then 12, 12, 12. Cannot stress how much a computer has been playing D&D for us. You're also a 12? Bart? Yeah. Okay, so Kyborg is tied with Bart. What's your dexterity, Kyborg? My dexterity? Four plus four. No, no. Four plus four. No, the higher number.

Not the modifier, just what you-- 18. 18. 18. And what's your dexterity, Bart? Jesus. 17. 17, all right. 17. It's like watching "Study Period" with idiots. Name? Copy. Sure. Mud, Gum-Gum, and Bart, you all wake up to faint noises of scratching along the walls and the ground outside of your rooms.

So you, not Kaiborg, everyone else go ahead and roll a perception check. Great. Roll a perception check. Should be in your skills. Another nat 20! Oh my god. I like this dice, I'm taking it home with me. 19 for me. And then with perception that gives me 27. Wow. Oh, good one. That was a good one, Chris. So I rolled a two and I have a minus one, so one.

Gum gum, that's the sound of scratching. He thinks it's inside his head. Not music. So Mud and Bart, you two realize that that sound you hear might be connected to some small footprints you see along the ground leading outside of your room. Kaiborg, we're going to cut back over to you. Okay, yep. You also wake up groggily. You stretch out and let out a yawn. As you rub your eyes, however, only the vision in one of your eyes clears.

First you think you might be going blind in one eye, but then you breathe a sigh of relief when you realize it isn't your eye, it's just your golem arm is missing. What? Why would you take away my one thing? And you also notice little footprints leaving your room, and they look like something's being dragged along with them. They squished my arm.

Oh no! Wait, is like Rocket Raccoon stealing appendages in our base? Hey listen, if Ryan Reynolds, or if Deadpool got added to the MCU, we could have Rocket Raccoon. Legal, go clear it. Stinky dragon.

He's a Warner Media character. Nope. I just realized as a one-armed archer, this is going to get difficult. How dexterous are your feet? Yeah. Well, I mean, you have some disadvantage because you're one-armed currently, but we're going to go ahead and give you advantage on skill checks involving your senses because you're more heightened. You're having to rely on your senses now as opposed to one-arming. Or if you've seen or read Dark Knight Returns,

Green Arrow has his arm ripped off by Superman, so he's able to just bow and arrow. There you go. That's why I was asking about your feet. Learn how to do that in the next five minutes. Okay. Just give all a few skill checks. You'll be fine. Okay, okay. All right, so there's someone taking something out of Mud's... I don't know why I was talking in character. I'm talking to you. Uh.

There's feet walking out of my room. Yeah, you don't see anything being, like anything was dragged, but you do see little footprints that came in. Are we with each other yet? It's up to you guys. I'm curious and exiting my room. Well, as a person who is in a weight room, as I said, I have weightlifting chalk, as one does. I hope you didn't wake up in a panic and try to do a one-armed, yeah. One-handed. Can I throw chalk?

At the feet? Yeah, that's a good idea. Go ahead and as you toss some chocolate, what's your goal here? Trying to see like... I just want to see what the silhouette of this thing is that seems to be invisible. He thinks they're still in the room. Gotcha, gotcha. Go ahead and roll a... We'll say a perception check again. That's a six. We'll say you have advantage on it because your senses are heightened. That's a 16. There you go. Plus...

Two, 18. All right. The chalk all falls to the ground, and it doesn't outline on any figures in the room, but it does settle into the footprints. It makes the footprints a little easier to see. And you see that they walked in, walked up around your bed, circled a few times, and walked out dragging what you presume is probably your arm. Yeah. Bart wants to go gather everyone so we can start solving this mystery. Dunga might be falling back asleep. Yeah, he was asleep. Yeah, he went back to sleep. He passes by Kyborg's room and looks in and goes...

Something different about you buddy? I lost some weight. Oh, nice, nice. I'm gonna go wake up Gum-Gum. Then I go see Gum-Gum. He is... asleep? Yeah, with the- with the fake- Oh, so he's under the bed. Under you. Oh, so he's my- okay. Yeah, he's in your room. Oh, so it's easier to find him. Go back into my room. And then he, uh, wakes him up the same way he does all the time, which is he slaps him right in the face. I don't wanna go to school. *laughter*

Did you try to hit the snooze button? Like, just smash Bart on the top of the head? Are we in the hallway of the intern? Yeah, Bart. It sounds like Bart's still trying to get Gum Gum up for school, but yeah, I assume her door's open, or his door's open. Can I roll for slap? Sure. How much damage are you going to do to him? Four. Not much. No, you probably don't slap very well. You probably fail to connect. You probably hit the pillow next to his head. You hit the fake Bart.

But he gets up. Mud turns into a Mastiff and starts sniffing around for the tracks to figure out where these little critters are going. Hmm, what would that be? Do, I guess, like an investigation check? With advantage. Oh, weird. Who said that? Doesn't the Mastiff have really good investigative abilities? The ones that we fought in Pius' Pass...

were part Kryptonian. Mm-hmm. What does that mean? They literally could not be stopped by spells, earthquakes, invisibility. Arrows. I don't think we shot them with arrows. Anyways, nine. I rolled a nine. Hold on, I'm looking up Mastiff here. The Mastiff has advantage on perception checks that rely on hearing or smell. I'm smelling! I'm smelling some tracks! I said investigation, but yeah, we'll do perception. Okay.

And while that's going on, I'm over with Gum-Gum and I say, "Hey Gum-Gum, high five." 22. And then I lunge my body and then I convince him that he took off my own arm. Well, what happens is he smacks you in the face 'cause he doesn't have an arm to protect you. And then, "Oh my god, your arm." 22 perception.

Nice. Yeah, you're able to pick up the scent of small rodents. And it seems to you like the trail that the rodents left behind winds up to one of the tallest points in Boulderay. It looks like it's heading over in the direction of Dr. Ahem's lab. We've got a rodent problem, and they're heading to Dr. Ahem's lab.

We need to retrieve, I would assume, your arm? Yep. At some point. Are you saying that the little mice took his arm? I'm saying yes. Cinderella is my favorite movie. What part of Cinderella do they steal appendages? Oh, you didn't see the deleted scenes of Cinderella? I never liked Cinderella as a kid because that's the only Gus I had to like in any kind of media. In any media, it was Gus Gus and Cinderella. That's who I could look up to. It was bummer. Yeah.

Alright. Okay. Let's go to the lab and see if we can find what's going on. Do we have our weapons on us? Yeah, you all have all your gear.

- All right, but I imagine we keep our pajamas on 'cause this is like the special nighttime cartoon like they did with like Rugrats and Hey Arnold. It's like the Hey Arnold. - Okay, so everyone's armor class then is just 10 plus their dexterity. - I mean, we're all fully geared up. I know everybody has all their armor on. - I think we have double armor. I think we sleep in double armor. - I believe so, yes, yeah. - We're heading to the lab. - Yeah, so everyone's heading up in that direction? - Yeah.

Alright, well, what's strange is normally the iron portcullis at the entrance is locked closed, but it's swinging open in the wind, which is strange because Dr. Normally has designed them to automatically lock. So it's just swinging open. Is there... I'd like to check to see if there's signs of breaking and entering. Yeah, let's call that... Are you still a Mastiff? Yeah.

- Duh. - Okay, let's go ahead and call that a perception check then. - I'm a doggo. - How does Gum-Gum perceive-- - 15. - Whenever-- - Not well. - Oh wait. - Mud turns into an angel. - 15.

Have we ever thought about that? Have we ever explored that? How Gum-Gum deals with the fact that I'm an animal? How does Gum-Gum, who I imagine has that thing where it's like, if something disappears... I think he just thinks that there's a dog that is friends with the group that sometimes hangs out. Like, you know that neighborhood dog? And a camel? And then, like, comes and hangs, and then, like... Honestly, it's easier that way than to try to explain it to him. Okay, okay. And then I request a nickname for the dog from Gum-Gum. Puppy. Puppy. Puppy. Okay.

- Okay. - Hi, puppy. As someone who has seen Chris call a horse a puppy, let's just... Then that's gonna be the same nickname if I'm in camel form. You're a bird, you're a... yeah. So, yeah, when you're an animal, you're a puppy. I'm puppy. Okay. 15. Strangely enough, it doesn't seem like there's any evidence of a break in an entrance. Seems like the gates were not forced open. Then I would like to suggest we send in a scout.

And let's send in someone who's already has lost something and has something to get. Let's send in Kyborg. Okay, alright. Guys, this is the scene. I want you guys to thrust me in there and I want to do no less...

then five somersaults. Okay. Slash forward flips. So we're flinging you past the gate? It's open. It's open. So y'all are gonna fling Kaibor again, he's gonna do five somersaults, each at disadvantage because he only has one arm. Let's go ahead and start those rolls. Alright, here we go. That was a two. Okay. Ten. Three. Ten.

-Five? -So... -10, 10, 3, 3, 5. -It was 2, 10, 3, 10, 5. -Yeah. -You all toss Kaiborg in, and he immediately face plants. - -Then somehow recovers it into a half somersault, then face plants again, gets back up, does another somersault, then trips and falls on his face for a third and final time. -Okay.

So I like that you alternated failures and successes. Yeah, yeah. That's good comedic timing. I've seen fish do that on the deck of a boat. Just that motion. What do I see? You magic-carped it in. Alright, before we get too far in... Sure. Bart has invisibility.

Which I think might be the best way to scout in. So what I'm thinking is, Bart wants to cast his invisibility to maybe scout inside. But first, before he does this, he goes up to Gum-Gum, grabs him by the shoulder and goes, Alright buddy, listen. Bart's gonna go away for a few minutes. Why?

Don't ask questions why. Okay. Just, I'll be back. All right. You might see me in a different place. Okay. But don't worry, all right? It's like peekaboo. All right. Okay. So with invisibility, Bart is able to go invisible for up to one hour as long as he maintains concentration on the spell. So...

I guess you're using kyborg as a distraction as he goes in screaming, falling on his face and flopping around like a fish and then you're able to sneak in quietly behind him. What was her BM roll though? Because that might affect the concentration. I believe her BM roll was a 12. It was a four, I think. Oh, she might not be able to concentrate that hard. No, in my opinion, the lower the score meant that she made her BM.

Oh, okay. So you're clean. You're light. Or I'm sorry, he. I forget. Barbara is she. Bart is he. I'm constantly having to correct myself here. So you're heading in with Bart. So while Bart's able to stealth, make a stealth check, actually, since you're invisible.

Whoopsie. Yeah, I'm gonna say you have advantage because Kyborg made such a stink that he's distracted. Okay, cool. 16 plus 7, 23. Bart is able to stealthily step in over Kyborg's body as he's lying face down trying to get back to his feet. You enter into Dr. Ahem's lab and it looks different at night. It's almost twisted.

Torches flicker off the walls, making the long corridors seem to twist and elongate, and the strange noises further down don't help. As you reach the chamber you remember as the center hall to the six puzzle rooms, you hear voices, almost like chanting. There's a hush, and a voice starts speaking. It's high-pitched, but commanding. It sounds like a natural leader, but at the same time, adorable.

So you're in that big hallway with the six puzzle rooms and then Dr. Ahem's lab. Where's the voice coming from? Dr. Ahem's lab. Do you want us to come in? Yeah, so I want to stay invisible. Okay. But go back to the team to let them know that the hallway is clear for them to come in. If you just want to punt...

Kyborg in the chest. I think that could be the signal. Okay. Okay. We can still talk, I think. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I walk back. You whispered to Kyborg's ear or something? I whispered to Kyborg's ear, all right, coast is clear, come with me. But I say it loud enough that Gum-Gum hears my voice. Okay. I'm surprised we don't hear a peekaboo from Gum-Gum. Okay, then, yeah, can we all join in that main hall area? Sure. Everyone go ahead and roll me stealth checks.

Bart, you don't have to. You already made your check. That's a one. That's a ten. Three. I got 14. 14? Gum-Gum, a strange good roll from you for once. Bart, since you're leading the way, you actually managed to catch a little bit of what the voice is saying before everyone else shows up and makes a lot of noise and then stops the speech. You hear, like I said, a high-pitched voice saying,

Oh! No!

And you hear small animals echoing, "Patches, Patches, Patches."

I am 100% staying in animal form for right now. Hey, guys, I don't know about you, but that was a really high-pitched but yet commanding voice that we just heard. Natural leader. So to be clear for those of us at home who have not seen, how many gerbils have I killed? You just killed one. You killed a hamster. You killed a hamster. In this very same lab.

So this is a revenge. They're gonna package you. I killed Sparky and they're bringing Sparky back. We're gonna meet six million dollars Sparky. He's gonna have your arm on him. There was a puzzle that two NPCs were trapped in and in order to try to save them, Kyborg had to kill a hamster which only disarmed half of the trap.

But Kyborg shot his longbow at a hamster and killed it, which was Sparky. When mud comes tromping up, the animals notice and they all start to scatter, except for Patches, who notices Kyborg and says, You! You killed Sparky and now you've come to stop us? Stop us if you dare! You realize he's got Kyborg's arm tucked under his big bushy tail and he bolts through a lab door.

What is Patches? What is Patches? What kind of animal? Uh, he's a rat. Okay. A big rat. Uh, squirrel. Squirrel. Big squirrel. What is he, Ben? I'm sorry.

Ben did our writing on this episode. Is he not a hamster? Well, Sparky was a hamster who got killed. So it's just the rodents that are taking revenge. I thought it was a rat, but it says his big bushy tail. And I'm not hearing from Ben, so we'll say rat squirrel. Rat squirrel. Cool. I mean, it is a lab, so. Yeah. So he speeds off through the lab door with the arm of kyborg tucked under his big bushy tail. Ben says guinea pig with a big bushy tail. He's unique.

The door is tall and wide and looks heavy. And on the front of the door is the symbol of a large cat.

Little doggy. I feel bad. Oh, you're talking about the cat. I feel bad. You should. Because I killed Sparky. And I would like to go at this as peacefully as possible. I want my arm back, but I also recognize the error in my ways. Do Guyborg. I want to hear Guyborg. Yeah, you got to be in character. It's like, guys, it has become very clear to me that the consequences of my actions have now caught up to me, and I seem to have lost my arm to a group of sentient rodents.

And I want to see if we can peacefully resolve this matter. We've all been there. And still get my arm back from this guinea pig with a large tail. So we should give...

Kyborg to the animals? That's a great idea, Gum-Gum. I'm so glad you're here to be throwing on ideas like that. We'll trade Kyborg to get Kyborg's arm back. Bark's little invisible voice goes, Trade Kyborg, trade Kyborg, trade Kyborg. Wow. It's small, but... Small, but commanding. Yeah.

That's great. So do you want to go in first into this cat room? Yes. And as a show of respect and as a way of showing that I am in peace, I'm going to disarm myself.

Wait, the other arm! And give him my weapon. Oh no! No, no, no! No, no, no! Gum, gum, gum, gum, gum. This is my real arm. Gum, gum. Gum, gum just wraps his body around Kyborg's other arm. Alright, now, Gum, Gum, I'm going to give you my weapons, except for my shield. Alright, so I need you to, and if things go awry, or as awry as you like to say it, wrongly, you need to give me my weapons back so that we can, you know, go into battle. If it comes to that. Okay. Hopefully it's not. Okay, but repeat the plan. What am I gonna do?

Give me your arm. Make an intelligence check, Gum-Gum. Oh... Gum-Gum pulls out his sword. One? It was a four minus his three.

He's drooling a little bit. That's what's right when you ask him to reset or to re- Mud, can you take my- because I don't want to ruin your invisibility, Bart. I'm a dog. I don't really have, like, capacity to do anything. Do you have satchels? No, I don't. I'm not, like, one of those, like, hiking dogs. It's satchels. That's just sort of fairly sizey. While this is all going on, could Bart have just stepped into that coffee room to make himself a cup of coffee? Sure, Duncan's not there anymore. But he remembers the process. Yeah, you can

And that was, like, just to the right of the lab. Here's what mud will do. Mud turns back into mud.

Takes all of your stuff. Okay. And then turns back into a mastiff, and all the belongings go into whatever pocket dimension all of my stuff goes. Whoa. So things don't go bad, because it's going to get weird. Okay. So all of your belongings are locked in another dimension where all of, like, Furbolg... How do you say that? Is it Fearbolg or Furbolg? I don't say it. I think it's Fearbolg. Okay. I don't say it. I have said it Furbolg for forever, because the first time I ever read it was, I think, in World of Warcraft.

But then my brother wrote that entire song about mud, and he said the fearless fear bog. However your brother says it is exactly how I would say it. Or since it's fantasy, you know, you can just say it how you want because it's fantasy. You know, if you want to say Yavin, that's fine. It's fantasy. But yeah, so your stuff's with fear bog version of mud. Okay, all right. I'm disarmed except my shield. So my armor class is still high. Cool. So you go in.

Hold on, I'm saying, you click, oh, I can click the speaker on this website and it'll pronounce it for me. Let's see. - It was like when it told me camel. - Fear-bog. - Fear-bog. - Fear-bog. - I said fear-bog. - Fear-bog. - Okay, so you've disarmed yourself, Kyborg, and you're going into the room? - Yep. - The door opens to a large plain white room. In the corner, a large fountain gurgles with water next to a large vertical rotating wheel.

Several strangely shaped trees, flat on multiple levels, are scattered throughout. On the opposite side of the room, in front of the exit door, is a humongous tiger taking a nap.

Is the door still open? Yeah. You opened it, you're looking in, you see all- it's like your eyes come all the way across and then you get locked with that tiger that's just taking a nap right there. Tiger's on the ground? Yeah. Taking a nap. Okay. Right in front of the door. Can I close the door? Sure. And turn back and say, "Turn out of the dog, give me my weapons back." Matt just turns and goes, "No no no no, bad boy, give me the weapons back, give me the weapons back."

And Mud just starts running around, just like trying to keep away from you. Okay, I relay to the group that there is in fact a huge tiger in there. Sleeping. A sleeping tiger. Okay, I'll go pet it. No! I can talk to animals. Yes, you can talk to them, but you cannot understand any response. Correct. But can I? No.

Not unless it's a goblin. Gum-Gum just went in. Gum-Gum goes in. All right. I like this. What are you doing in the room, Gum-Gum? Everyone else, the rest of the party's outside the room in the main. But I've seen the doors open now, though. Yeah. Did you leave the door open, Gum-Gum? Yeah. Yeah. Doors open, and Gum-Gum walks into the room. It sits outside. I described it to Kyborg with a tiger napping on the other end. Does he see anything besides the tigers? Any sign of the arm bouncing?

- No, there's a fountain, a large vertical rotating wheel, the strangely shaped trees that are flat on multiple levels, and the humongous tiger that's taking a nap. - Vertical wheel, horizontal wheel? - Vertical. - Wheel of fortune wheel. - Nope. - No, no, no, no. - Price is right? - This is price is right. - Yes. - Price is right wheel? - Price is right wheel.

The big wheel. I come in. I go in with him. Okay. So Gum-Gum leads the way in and Mud follows him. What are you doing, Gum-Gum? I think he would get maybe some of his rations and... He starts rubbing them all over his body. Water skin and goes to give the tiger some snacks. So you're approaching the tiger. Yeah, with some food and water. Tiger's asleep, right? Tiger is asleep. Okay, so roll...

Bart is prepping spells right now, just by the way. Barb is just looking at her spell things like, she's like, how am I going to save? Do I still have six spell slots open? No, actually five. She's prepping to save Gum-Gum. I'm imagining a hovering box of popcorn. And Bart's just watching, waiting. Go ahead and make an animal handling check there, Gum-Gum. Gum-Gum. Okay. It's a minus one for you.

12. Okay, you walk up to the tiger and you notice that it's got a collar around its neck. On it, it's printed, it says Barkley. Barkley.

Seemed after one of our listeners, at Barkski on Twitter. Oh, cool. If you tweet at us or you hashtag StinkyDragonPod, you might be in a future episode. You walk up and the tiger lazily opens an eye and looks at you. Hey, kitty. Hey, kitty. It does one of those things where, you know, cats, it like stretches out and then just kind of like...

starts putting one of its paws out in your direction. It's like letting its claws out. It's almost like it's reaching at you. And then he goes and he, like, scratches his stomach and holds up the food. Hey, kitty. You didn't call him puppy. Oh. He seems to be ignoring the food, but...

He turns over on his back. He seems to really like the belly rock. While he's doing this, can I check out the... You said there's a fountain? Yeah. Can I check it out, see if there's anything in the fountain? Anything interesting about the water? Yeah, let's call it a perception check. Why not? That's 25. Nice. 25. You're doing good today. You really are, yeah.

I did roll a nat 1 for stealth. Touché. It doesn't seem like there's anything in it to you. It's a large pool and then seemingly the fresh water spewing out into it. Oh yeah, kitties like it when it's constantly recycling water. Could Bart come in as well and investigate the wheel? Sure. Not touch it yet, but maybe just see if he could figure out anything about it, what it does. Yeah. Bart's still invisible? Yeah, Bart's still invisible. Go ahead. We'll call that perception as well. Perception? Yeah.

That would be eight. You're not quite sure what the purpose of the wheel is. It doesn't seem like it's... As far as you can tell, it doesn't seem like it's connected to anything. It just seems like it's freestanding. Does it have numbers or colors on it or anything like that? No. Or is it like a water wheel where it's got steps? It's close to the fountain, but it's not interacting with the water at all.

How is this panning out? Oh, that seems to be going great. The tiger's really into it. It's like the tiger equivalent of purring. Mud, so the trees have these flat platforms? Yeah. Mud jumps up on the closest one to a platform as a dog.

Okay, I mean, yeah, it's the closest one and the lowest one is fairly low to the ground, so it's not a big jump up. It easily supports your weight. You're able to get up there. Okay, and that didn't trigger anything? No. Okay. Did you want to look around the tree, see if there's anything in there? What are you doing? I'm following you, and you think I'm petting you, but I'm actually searching for my weapons. Kaiborg, make a perception check. Okay, you got it, boss.

- Seven. - It looks to you, you notice that it seems like there's large cat toys scattered around the room, like poles with feathers on the end and balls with bells. - Okay, is there any catnip that I see? - Make a perception check. - 18 plus two, 20. - Nice. - None that you notice. - I got a total of 20. - Well, there might be none. - Okay, all right, fine. - Could I summon my mage hand?

- Should you go start also rubbing the cat's belly in the same way that Gum Gum is? - Yes, you could actually do that and maintain your invisibility. - I pick up, I'm imagining these are all upscaled versions of normal cat toys, they're very large. So then I grab whatever the pole is with the string with the feather doodad at the end of it. I grab that.

In chat, Sombra says that chuffing is the tiger equivalent that they don't purr. Oh, yeah. What does that sound like? Oh, I love that sound. Can we name him Raja? You gotta name him. Oh, Barkley. Dang it. Can we rename him Raja? You can refer to him as Raja. I walk over at the pole. This gives me a natural distance from the creature. And then I start just...

He's got love coming to him all directions. Just dangle it in front of his nose. So Barkley's rolled over on his back. Gum Gum's giving him belly rubs. There's a mage hand also giving him belly rubs. And now Kaibork's trying to get his attention with a cat toy. A large cat toy.

He seems to be ignoring the toy. He seems very focused on the belly rubs. But Gum-Gum sees the toy. And is like, no, no, no, keep petting the cat. It's okay, we've got Mage Hand on the belly too. Mage Hand's doing some work now. Hey, kitty, look, a fairy. It just looks at you and goes back to like eyes closed. Can I check out the wheel? Yeah, make a perception check.

That's 22. It's puzzling to you. It doesn't seem like it's connected. It's definitely not connected to anything. Is it turnable? Yeah, it's absolutely turnable. Then I turn it. Do it. You turn it. Yeah. Yeah, it starts spinning. It seems like it has some pretty good bearings because it starts spinning pretty freely. That seems to get the cat's attention. Oh. And it's looking at the wheel now. Is it agitated? Is it happy? No, it's just looking at it. I spin it as fast as I can. You spin it as fast as you can. Make a dexterity saving throw.

That's a 13. Barkley doesn't seem like he's being aggressive, but very playfully pounces on you to play with you. So he moves away from the door, but he's pounced on you. And so now he's got mud under him. As a dog. As a dog, but he's still chuffing. Okay, but he was in front of a door? Yeah. And now the door is exposed. The door is exposed. Could Bart go and see if the door is open, able to be opened? Yeah, you check the door, and it seems that it is actually unlocked.

Should we just go? I'd also like to make a move for the door. Okay. Bart creaks the door open. Bart, you creak the door open, and yeah, it opens up freely. Okay. Because my Mage Hand is no longer scratching the belly, it goes over to Kyborg and taps him on the shoulder in a rhythm that Kyborg knows is Bart signaling to him, "Go to the back door and get gum gum too." Okay, all right. There's also a "go to hell" in there for some reason. I don't know why that was necessary.

My Morse code is, I'm still working on it. Yeah, so I have... Oh, oh, oh, I bring the little Bobby cat toy and I lead Gum-Gum, yes, get it out, get it out, and then I lead him over to the door. It works. Does the cat come? No, the cat seemed to be obsessed with chuffing and rubbing on mud right now. Cat!

Kitty, come on. And I leech to... Just a collar. Just a collar? Just a collar. Might be a flea collar. You might want to leave that on. I'm like, kitty, come on. I call it. It has to be. Bark would be... I know, but I... Oh, okay. Okay.

Gum Gum can't read very well, so... So at this point, they've all... It seems disinterested in what you're doing, but now it's doing that thing where it's rolling around on mud, like trying to get its scent all over mud. Bye-bye, kitty. And then I go and I follow the fairy. You could make, like, a dex check. We'll see if you want to. You can see if you can squeeze out. Okay, that's a...

13. Yeah, we'll say that you're able to like squish your way out from around under all the fur of the tiger while it's rolling on its back on you and you're able to get to your four feet. Can I swat? Is there other toys that one like maybe swat into a direction away from the door that I want to go to to distract El Kito? He doesn't seem like he's paying much attention to you. You can try that if you want. No, I would like to just exit. I would like to exit the room with the tiger. Yeah, go for it.

There's gotta be something else going on in here. You know what, we got through a room with a tiger without getting like mauled. Let's just go, "Yay, win!" Honestly, me getting my weapons away in the Fearbog realm or whatever is probably the best decision we've made. Okay, you all are able to leave the room and enter the next chamber. You enter a dark chamber that's lit by several torches along the walls.

On the opposite end, you can't see the exit. We see the outlined shadow of a door with the keyhole reflected from a torch that's sitting in the middle of the room. As you step in, the door closes behind you. You hear something moving slowly nearby, almost like a slithering sound. Oh, God. As a lantern lights up in front of you, you reach towards it, only for it to rise up. Two green reptilian eyes open above the lantern, and you hear, Well, well, what brings you here? Naginiya.

Or Ka. Yeah, it's more of a Ka. Do we see it? You see the eyes. The green eyes open up. As a wood elf, I have darkvision, I believe. Can I see the body of it, just so that I know if it's sneaking up on us? Yeah, you're not the only one with darkvision. I have darkvision, too. I have darkvision, too. Kite working gum gum. Yeah, okay.

Pyborg, you can see the snake body. Okay. I just want to make sure we don't get caught off guard with it wrapping around. Yeah. It's not necessarily like a snake like you imagine, like a super slender snake. It's almost like a thicker reptilian creature, and it does have a few legs. Oh, okay. So like a Komodo dragon kind of thing? Yeah, kind of like a Komodo dragon. That's a good way to put it. He's got the lantern around his neck.

Oh, so he's like, almost like a necklace kind of thing? Exactly. Oh, and it's lit? Seems to be sentient. I want to talk, hello. Can we get through the door behind you, possibly? Did you happen to see any little rat kind of rodent creatures running around here with an appendage? Mutant guinea pigs. He says, that would be delicious.

But no. Go ahead. Try the door. It's not ominous at all. What's your name? Vice. Hi, Vice. He's named after a Twitter user as well. Vice Imani. I don't have poseable thumbs, so does someone with those want to try it for the door? Okay. Okay. Hey, Vice, I'm going to go now. Bye. Bye. And I go to the door. You go to the door, and you're able to walk over there, and you try it, but it seems to be locked.

Oh, it's locked. Who's got lockpicking skills? I do, but I only have one arm. Can you get in your teeth? Maybe this guy has a key of some sort. Talk to him. Well, I'm still invisible. I don't know if that matters, talking to... Vice. It would kind of give away your position, I guess, if you started trying to talk. I'll talk. I'll keep talking. Vice, it seems to me the door is locked. Is there a key somewhere? Yes. Where is it, my friend? Yes.

That's the fun. Oh, okay. I want to use perception to see, like, what else? Is there anything else in this room interesting? I'll tell you what. Instead of perception, roll me an insight check. Insight. It's a plus zero, so don't worry. 18. You feel like maybe Vice is acting tougher than he really is. Like, maybe he's trying to conceal the fact that he's maybe afraid of you guys. Okay, all right.

Okay, all right. Do you want to let us know that? Yeah, I'm just like, hey, guys, follow my lead. I say that to you guys. This all ends perfectly. And I say, Vice, as you can see, I'm missing a part of my body. And it's really crucial that I get it back. So can you just cut to the chase?

Tell us where the key is. We need to get through this room. And, you know, if not, things could get interesting. And then I go to punch my fist. But then you just see me going... So it's just him just doing this. Yeah. I want to step back. Apparently I misstated on something here. He's actually incredibly intimidating. He will kill us. There's actually no lock on the door itself. I see.

But it didn't open when you tried to open it. But roll me a perception check, Gum-Gum. Okay. 13. So you notice that there's no lock on the door, but it looks like the shadow of it from the lantern has a lock on the shadow. The shadow of what? The shadow of the door. The shadow is casting a lock on it. And then roll me an intimidation check for your one-armed attempted intimidation of Vice. Oh, I thought that was a plus. That is a minus. It's a 14. Okay.

14? You have a minus on your intimidation? Minus two. Some of us have minuses in charisma, okay? He's a fighter. I figured he'd be like... No! One of the things that I wanted to do with Kyborg was make him as dumb as possible, and unfortunately, intelligence has an effect on intimidation, I think. No, charisma. Charisma. I wanted to make him uncharismatic. You try to act intimidating to Weiss, and you do your one-handed punch thing, and you hear him say, Ah, no! And then he turns into stone as he cowers in fear. Poor Weiss.

- Is the lantern still around? - Yes. - Lantern's still around? - Yes. - Maybe we need to put it up to where the lock is. - Can-- - Light it up. - I go, can I climb up his stone body?

And can I try to grab the lantern off of his head with my mouth? Yeah, you can do that pretty easily. Okay, and I take that and then I take it over to the door and see what the interaction with that does. You take the lantern, you go over to the door and there's a key on the lantern hanging off of the lantern itself. But when you hold the lantern up to the door, it doesn't seem like anything's happening per se. You just see the outline of the key and the door with the lock.

Okay. GumGum, could you take the key that's on this lantern and try it on the door? Well, there's no hole, but only in the dark...

The shadow of it, there's a hole. We're trying to figure out if Gum-Gum knows what shadows are. The dark version. I moved the lantern away from the door. Okay. It doesn't seem to have any effect on it. But there's no shadow of a lock anymore on it? Yeah, I mean, the shadow of the lock is still on the shadow version, but not on the physical door. Could I try something? Yeah, you do. Unless you want to... No, no, no. Could I grab the lantern with the key from mud?

I say, it's me, Bart. I'm over here. I'm aware. I am not the idiot of the group. I'm invisible. Let me try something. He takes the lantern, holds the key up to the point where it's casting a shadow perfectly in the space where the lock would have the key to open it and see if that does anything. You hear a clicking sound. Check out the big brain on Bart.

That's why I am 150 pounds. My brain is 50 pounds. Can we go to the door? Yeah, it seems like the door is now open. You're able to make your way through. Hell yeah. Rest in peace, Vice. We know you well. Yeah.

Do you have any questions about the show? Perhaps a query for a cast or character? Maybe you're curious what's going on behind the Dungeon Master screen? Go ahead and post it on Twitter using hashtag StinkyDragonPod. Maybe it'll end up in the show. Hope you enjoyed this one shot. If you did, use hashtag StinkyDragonPod on Twitter or I guess on Instagram. You can also find us at StinkyDragonPod on Twitter and Instagram. Tell a friend.

Word of mouth is the best way for our show to grow. You've heard a few NPCs named this adventure, and they get their names from people who tweeted about the show using hashtag StinkyDragonPod. Thanks to everyone who tweets about the show. Hopefully you enjoyed your animal-themed NPCs. And don't forget, we got new merch in the Rooster Teeth store at store.roosterteeth.com. We got some t-shirts, got a roll for backflip, and a party art t-shirt. Both are great. Go check them out.

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. I know it's easy to forget about taking care of your mental health. I think a lot of us focus on the physical aspect of it. But you know, it's important to take care of, you know, the way that you think. Sometimes it's important to take a step back and just really focus on not only the physical aspect, but your internal mental well-being. We talk about BetterHelp sometimes, and now they're releasing a new podcast called Getting Better Stories of Mental Health.

Go check it out. Season one just dropped with episodes featuring interviews with notable people like NBA Hall of Famer Chris Bosh talking about anxiety, pop star Meghan Trainor on motherhood and panic attacks, Wilmer Valderrama on immigrating to a new country, and more. Mental health is something we should all be focusing on. Just as much as we focus on our physical health, you know, you got a body, you got a mind. So join BetterHelp as they continue the fight to destigmatize mental health and show people that everyone struggles with something. So we need to talk about it.

You can do your part to help by listening and sharing your favorite episode and spreading the word that it's okay to not be okay. Find this awesome new mental health podcast, Getting Better: Stories of Mental Health on Apple Podcasts, iTunes, Spotify. You should definitely check it out and stop thinking just about your body. Think about that brain too. All right, so we go through the door. This room is fairly little. There's two doors on the opposite side seemingly guarded by little mice-like creatures.

I figure one of them has to be the exit, and as you approach the doors, the three mice jump up and rush to stand in front of the doors. There's three mice and two doors? Yes. Okay. Hi. You cannot pass. Why not? It seems like they're trying to block your way. I approach the mice, and I say, with respect, I come in peace. I'm unarmed. We mean you no harm. We just want to get through. I want to get my arm, but I also want to help you in your quest to get back Sparky. Ooh.

I know, but it seems like they have a way. There's something we can do. We can have it. One of the mice chimes up and says, we'll let you through if you can figure out our puzzle. There's three mice, two doors. How are the doors scaled to the mice? Are they doors the size of us and the mice are in front of it? Or are they mice-sized doors? They are big doors, normal-sized doors. The mice are standing in front of big doors. Yes. And they are normal-sized mice. Yes. They're just mice. We could probably, like, step over them. Or just kick them. We could kick them. We could chase them. What is your puzzle?

Out of all of us, Gum-Gum's the one that wants the puzzle. Yeah. My friend over here only tells lies, and you have to figure out which door is the correct door. I know what to do. But there's three of them. Yeah. My other friend, he doesn't like tricky questions. If you ask a tricky question, he'll stab you.

And which one is that? Which mice will stab us if we ask them a question? That's Green down at the end. Green, okay. Don't talk to Green. That mouse, Green looks kind of like Eric Boudoir. And then the lying mouse, does that mouse have a name? Well, the other two mice are named Sherry and Dan. Dan will stab, or is the liar. All named after Sheridan Green on Twitter. Can I go up to one of the mice? I want to uncloak myself. Okay. Okay.

Hi Bart! Alright, uh, Sherry, is that your name? Yes. If I ask your friend there what you would say to me, which the correct door is, what would he say? Uh, door one. Wait, do you know what you're doing? You know what you're doing? Yeah, this is, you seem like... There's a classic riddle. Okay. There's always been two people at the door though. Well, the third one's gonna kill us. And it's one will always lie and one will always tell the truth. Yes. And so if you're like...

Tell the guy in the truth which one's the correct door, he'll tell you. But if you ask the guy who will lie... Okay, so you ask the one that tells the truth? I don't know which one's which. We don't know which one's which. Oh, no. Sherry might be the liar. So if I ask Sherry, what is he going to tell me? And he says, door... Or you say, what will the other mouse tell me?

And he says, gosh, it's like so backwards. You're so close. You're so close. I just need to watch the movie Labyrinth really quick. There's a scene. Gum Gum will just go to the first door. To door one. He attempted to do the puzzle? I think he thought that we just solved it. And you said one, right?

Yes. Sherry said door one. Sherry said one. So you're opening door one? You said open door number one? Oh, wait. So no, that would be door two. Because if the mice telling the truth was saying Sherry was like, oh, the mouse who lies would say door one because that's the wrong door. But Sherry would tell the truth. Yeah. I think you're right.

I think two's the right answer. All right. We're all taking number two. My brain is so broke. Mud sees Gum-Gum lunging for door one and pounces on him. Oh, doggie. There you go. And then motions for Bart to go for two. I think that's how it works. Do it. So you're trying door two. You're going to give door two a try. You put your hand on the latch for door number two and open it, and it swings open.

So that means it's right? You are correct. Yay! Good job. We're really just scrambling our way through this one. But you got a Bart, I mean, with figuring everything out so far. Okay, so we go through this door. That's three rooms with no one dead.

Yeah, and no combat. No damage. Which might be a first for you guys. Again, giving up my weapons. We've actually done a pretty good job with this campaign of solving a lot of things without combat. I guess that's true. The previous campaign that we did, the live stream one, you all fought. That was like all fighting all the time. This one's a nice balance. But I also have to tell you that we are in this situation because I use combat to solve the problem.

That is true. RIP Sparky. You open this door and it's a lab and you see patches in here. And it seems like he's working on Sparky. He's attaching Kyborg's arm to Sparky. But my arm is large. Okay, okay, okay.

He's used Pym Particles to make the arm the size of a mouse. Damn it. You walk in and Patch sees you guys and he immediately says, Oh, please don't hurt me, I'm so little. Don't help me? Please don't hurt me, I'm so little. Do we have the little I'm just little koozie? Yeah, we could. He's wearing a little koozie that says I'm just little. It's perfect for a doctor, mouse, squirrel, or for a parrot. Mud. Mud.

She's going for it. Mud approaches, patches, and growls menacingly. No, I'm so little. You're so big. We need your help. Okay, then I approach again. I say, all right, hey, come in peace. I am the one who killed Sparky, and I want to apologize. What can we do to help to where everyone wins? I get my arm back, and Sparky gets his life back. Well, if you want to help, there is something you can do. I'm all ears. You need to help us take down...

Where is a vacuum right now?

You can help us take him down from the inside. We can shrink you down to be our size. Oh boy. Okay, how much of "It Takes Two" has Ben been playing lately? And we can vanquish the demon Vacuum from the inside. Sparky used to be the one that kept the demon at bay, but now that he's gone, we've been terrified by Vacuum every night. I think Gum-Gum, you're also pretty afraid of Vacuum, if I remember correctly.

He doesn't like loud noises. That sounds like doable trade. So is there some sort of magical spell that you'd be using to make a smoke? Shrinkers. No, not science. He starts working with the equipment and points a shrinker at you guys and shrinks you all down.

Okay. All of our spells and equipment stays the same? Yeah. Okay. We don't lose any abilities? No, your equipment stays the same. It's all huge now. It doesn't fit you anymore. Really? I'm kidding. It scales down with you. It scales down with you. What's the status of my arm in all this? Do I get it back? It's already attached to Frank and Sparky at this point. Frank and Sparky, I see. Sparky alive, by the way? Like, has he been brought back? Not yet. He's still laying. God, I got it, got it, got it.

Oh no. *laughs*

Is Kirby the game that is supposed to be like a Kirby vacuum cleaner? I never thought about that. It must be. What? Is that like the English translation of whatever he must have been made in Japan? Yeah, why is Kirby named Kirby? I don't know, he's vacuum. Let us know. It works chat. I closed it. It's open again now. Everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Combat. 17.

- 18. - 20. - Damn. - 12. - I get to roll two, yay. - The vacuum. - Three, great, thank you, awesome job.

You mean Vacuum. Vacuum. Vacuum. Don't dogs hate Vacuum? Often. Sometimes. Can confirm. Yes. I don't have the brain of a dog. I'm still mud. Is it mud afraid of Vacuum? Vacuum appears with a swarm of dust bunnies swirling all around him. You feel like a pool, some kind of magical sucking you all into Vacuum. So everyone go ahead and make a strength saving throw. As we're struggling, Bard goes, this sucks.

- 11. - It would be... - Eight. - 20. - 16, 16, sorry. - Okay, both Mud and Bart are knocked prone and being pulled across the room toward the creature. We'll say Mud takes three points of damage and Bart takes one point of damage. Apparently, according to Sombra, Kirby is a reference to the lawyer that helped establish Nintendo's American branch. - Oh! - It was John Kirby who represented them. - I love that kind of trivia. It's good stuff.

But there's also a vacuum cleaner, which is strangely appropriate. So yeah, so you two are knocked prone and you're both sucked into the evil vacuum. - No! - We're inside of it? - Oh no! - You're now inside the beast itself. Bart, you would go first, but I'm gonna delay you since you're inside right now. Gum-Gum, you are outside of vacuum and there's some dust bunnies swirling around him. What do you wanna do? - Okay. - How many dust bunnies?

There are three swarms of dust bunnies. I think Gum-Gum, at seeing his friends get sucked off by this... One more time? Take two. Sucked into this horrible creature, he would rage and charge into it himself with his axe. Oh, okay. Charge towards it, pointy side forward. Okay, so then...

Gum-Gum goes into Vacuum as well, leaving Kyborg alone outside. Oh no! What's gonna do Kyborg? Didn't do any damage? You got sucked in? No, you're in. You just charged down the hole. He got you before you could get close enough, probably. Did I grab my weapons from you? Nope. They are inside Fearbog Dimension. Okay, I... You are unarmed. All right, I want to check... There's a shield. I want to check, is there a power source for Vacuum? I'll make a perception check. Okay.

Now you have to solve it with that combat. 19 plus 2, 21. Nice. No, it doesn't look like there's anything attached to a vacuum. Damn, baggy vacuums. Not even like a bag?

Yeah, there is I thought you were asking about power, right? Just like in general. So see like a Dyson It's like a stand up in our world. It would be like a stand up. Yeah So no there is a what you imagine would be like a holding container for the things that it is it see-through? No, okay. I want to see if I can disconnect that back

Apparently Kirby was known as Po-po-po during development. We're learning so much about Kirby from the squishy Nintendo boy. Come to listen to Tales from the Stinky Dragon where we play D&D and talk about Kirby. Fuck the po-po-po-po-po. Nintendo trivia. You're going to try to break

container we're in. Yeah, I want to disconnect the vacuum container from the vacuum, like, you know. I want to take the cloth part off of the plastic part. I see. I like in your head this is like an old-fashioned. Yeah, with one arm. I mean, it's like steam, right? Yeah.

I mean, you're going to have to get closer to it. So you're going to have to run by the, I mean, because the dust bunnies are between you and it. I want to like, I want to see if I can go around. Yeah. We'll give you a shot at that. Because if I'm going frontal assault, I'm going to get sucked in.

- Nice. - Yeah, I would probably say you probably would not have enough movement to do it all in one turn, because you'd have to go around and try to climb up it. Seeing as I don't have an attack, doesn't that double my speed? You can move twice. So with 30 feet, as us being miniature,

- It's like 30 mouse feet. - Okay, so it's still not human feet. - Since I'm not attacking, I want to double my move. - So you double move, so you move the equivalent of 60 feet. Get up close, and I'd say you'd be able to start climbing the vacuum, but you have to make an athletics check, and you're gonna be at disadvantage because you have one arm. - Damn! - Damn, dude. - All right.

That was an 11. Okay, you're starting to make progress. The next turn you'd probably be able to get up to do something. Next time we go climbing at the bouldering gym, you have to climb with one arm. With a vacuum chasing you. So we're going to go back to the people who were initially sucked in. Bart, it seems like the power of vacuum reverses and you are spit back out.

and you are in front of the evil Vakuum, and Mud and Gum-Gum tumble out as well. And you all see Kaibou starting to climb up the back of Vakuum.

First, I want to make a comment that this must be a really crappy vacuum if it has, for some reason, the ability to throw the dirt that it sucks outside. For cleaning. Oh, yeah, I guess so. Old vacuums used to do that. All right, take it back. I don't want to offend the vacuum. I want to try to go around as well and follow suit with Kyborg. Okay. Maybe see if there's like an on-off switch. Yeah, you're closer to it, so you could start to climb. Go ahead and make an athletics check if you want to start trying to climb.

- Oh, that's three plus two, five total. - You can't quite seem to get a grip. You keep trying to climb, but something happens and you just can't get a good handhold and you're still on the ground. I would say that, 'cause you were already close to it, that wouldn't take both your moves. If you want to attack or do something else with the dust bunnies that are out floating about, you're more than welcome to. - Yeah, could I try Minor Illusion?

What are you gonna do? I would like to create the vision of a bigger, scarier vacuum cleaner. How big can your minor illusions get? -Up to... -This is a pretty major illusion to me. Must be no larger than a five-foot cube.

It's a pretty big vacuum. A five-foot vacuum is pretty big. It's like humanoid-sized vacuum compared to you guys who are like mouse-sized. So equivalent, it would be like five-foot, that's like 30 feet equivalent movement for you guys. It would be like a mouse-sized vacuum. Make like a sexier dustpan.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I make a dust bunny wearing a bikini appear on the other side of the dust bunnies, like still in their line of vision. I think I've seen that on Rule 34. It's also wearing lipstick, and it's twirling its little dust bunny hair. Dust bunnies have an intelligence of eight. That's pretty intelligent. No, that's not very intelligent. Oh, plus eight or just eight? Just eight. Because that's negative. They're smarter than Gum-Gum.

Which isn't saying much. You just confirmed canonically that GumGum is dumber than a dustbin. I mean, his intelligence is minus three. So they have to make an investigation check against your spell save DC. Investigating to see whether it's real. They have a 10. What's your spell save DC? I think your spell save DC would be higher than 10. Your spell save DC is 13. So yeah, it believes...

that it sees a sexy dust bunny. Yeah! So there's three of them. Oh, after all three saves them. That one also believes. They all believe. All three of them believe they see a sexy dust bunny wearing a bikini and lipstick behind them. So they all turn and they're ogling your minor illusion in the other direction. This is so dumb. It is. It's great.

- That's part of the Ds of D&D. - Gum Gum, you already acted 'cause you ran in. Kyborg, you acted earlier when you started climbing. Mud, it is your turn. - Uses a bonus action, turns back into Fearbog Mud. - Okay. - Just to give you your Govins. So it all just comes clattering out. And what's it made out of? - Seems to be a lot of metal.

- Then I would like to cast Heat Metal. - Oh, there you go. - Please note I am on canvas, the bag, so okay. - Yes, duly noted. - Any piece of metal you cause the object to glow red hot, any creature in physical contact with the object takes two D8 fire damage. Until the spell ends, I can use a bonus action on each subsequent turn to cause this damage again. Must succeed on the constitution saving throw. - Constitution saving throw, you got it, thank you.

It rolled a one, so it failed its save. So you want to roll your 2d8 damage? Yeah, I'm gonna roll that. Ten. Yeah, you make Vacuum start glowing red hot. He roars with anger, which you think is angry. I did it. Vacuum's blowing changes again and turns back into suction once more. The three of you, again, make another strength saving throw. That's you, Bart. Me? Would be 17. 17. 17.

Oh, I have a one, but... Don't you have the halfling thing? I have something where if I roll a one... Lucky. When you roll a one on the d20... Yep. Do it again. You can reroll. Nice. Halflings are very lucky.

She rolled a two. A two. I don't think it matters what my bonus is. No, it does not. You improved, you improved. My character's lucky, me not so much. Me, me, meh, so much. Once again, you're tossed off your feet by the suction of Akum, dragged along the floor. Oh, and you take four points of damage. I do? Yeah. You're being bludgeoned. I do? You're being knocked along the ground. The dust bunnies, they would normally attack right now,

but they're all distracted. They move away from you all in the direction of the minor illusion, so they're not attacking right now. - Guys, please call what it is. The sexy dust bunny. - The sexy dust bunny. - Thank you. - The Lola's dust bunny. - She has a name. - The Lola dust bunny. - The Lola dust bunny. Once they realize, once they get to her, they're probably gonna realize she's not real and that's when they're gonna turn around.

I don't know, it's a pretty convincing sexy dust bunny. Once they go in for a smooch and they know there's no smooching back. No consent given, they have to woo this dust bunny. Take her to dinner first. No, sir. She's just running around, just being like, making the motions, like, chase me, chase me. Yes, she runs around. Bart, you're up. Okay.

I seem to get back to your feet first. Yes, get back to my feet. I don't know if that's like a bonus. No, just say you're able to do it this way. Okay. Inside the bag? Inside the vacuum? No, she's outside still. How far away are we all from the vacuum? You are right in front of it because it just successfully pulled you in. Everyone else is a little further away. We'll say about 15, 20 feet away. Okay. Inches. Could I attempt to cast sleep? Sleep.

On Vacuum? Does Sleep work on inanimate objects? I don't think so. I'm going to read the description. You can try it, but I'm going to... It's a creature, right? Is it not? But it's almost like a... That's sentient. He's hot. He's going, oh! It does specify undead and creatures immune to being charmed are not affected by this spell. So it means that it doesn't work on everything. And this is almost like... So it can't be charmed? I would say it probably couldn't be charmed. It's almost more like...

- A golem? - Okay, gotcha. I would try cloud of daggers, but I think if I'm in range of the vacuum, I might get hit as well. Fill the air with spinning daggers in a cube five feet on each side. - That is the most brutal sound. - You could cast it.

Like, away from you. Yeah. Yeah, let's do that so that the vacuum is still within the range, but we're out of it. Okay. But Kyborg would definitely be in it. I was hoping this would just go through without that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ruining my plans. I'll still do it. Okay. Good.

You might be a sacrifice in this worthy fight. Well, no, no, because I want a dagger, so I'm going to catch one of these daggers. Okay, cool. In your teeth. Yes, very heroically. So it takes 4d4 slashing damage when it enters the spells area for the first time or on a turn where it starts its turn there. So it doesn't take any damage now, but it will on the start of its turn if it doesn't move out of the cloud of daggers.

Doesn't it just cast it and get us the first time? Yeah, when it enters the spell... Okay, so I guess this is technically it entering the spell's area for the first time. Okay, yeah, so roll 4d4 slashing damage. There's no save for this? It's daggers. What are you gonna do? Is your constitution enough to avoid daggers? I don't think so. I see, like, dexterity, like, five out of the way or something. Yeah, roll. Wait, hold on, wait. As a bard, as a bonus action...

I don't know if I could do this mid this, but I could spend one use of Bardic Inspiration to grant five temporary HP to up to three creatures you could see, and that can see you within 60 feet. So I don't know if I could give... Is that his bonus action? ...Kyborg, yeah, a temporary five HP. Yeah, you could say you could do that before you cast. It's a bonus action. Okay, I'll give that to...

So it's just one individual? It's up to three creatures. So I'll give it to Kyborg, Gum Gum, and Mud. Okay, so you each have five temporary hit points. Love it. What about the sexy bunny? She's still doing good. She's doing the Lord's work right now. Okay, and then you're going to roll 4d4 damage that Vacuum and Kyborg are going to take. Big rolls. One. Nope. Yeah, one. One. This is good, though. This is good. This is good. I need this.

- Two, okay. - So five points of damage. - So the five temp that you just gave me, take it back. - All right. - All is well. - Bart gives and Bart takes. - Can I have one of the daggers though? - On your turn, you could try to do something with that. - Okay, so Vakum takes five points of damage? - Yes, Vakum takes five points of damage as well. - Take that, Vakum. - At this point. - I hate this die, give me another one. - You want a trade? - Give me a different D4.

At this point from behind you guys, you hear an otherworldly roar as Frankensparky comes to life and bum rushes at Vakum and gets sucked into it. You see Frankensparky go in, you hear some struggling and the noise stops and Vakum is no longer sucking or blowing. But he's still alive.

Oh, I see. Is he still angry? Yeah, he's just not making noise at the moment. So, Gum-Gum, you're up. Okay, Gum-Gum. What I want to try and do is I want to run at the bag, jump up in the air, take my axe, and dive and cut, like, use it like a...

Like the Goonies thing with the- Like a pirate cutting a sail, which is exactly what I was gonna do. Gosh dang it. If you only had a weapon to do it with. I know, I'm catching a dagger. And then jump into it and like stab in and slash down. Yeah, I mean, I guess let's go make a couple of checks, right? Let's make, first of all, an athletics check. Okay. Oh no! There we go. Are you gonna count it or not? Are you gonna take it or not? Count it! Three, I think. It's a two. Two. Dang it.

We're not counting it. We're not counting it. We roll. Roll the tape. We said don't count it. Well, I stand by my two because athletics plus seven. So that's nine. No, you take a running start. But before you can even jump, you stumble and you don't quite get enough air. Well, do I still? I stumble, but then I'm still swinging. Do I stumble forward into it? Yeah, you can still make your attack roll. You just can't do the cool jumping up and Goonies sliding down thing. Okay, well,

Well, I'll take that. I still sway into it. Yeah, go ahead and make your attack roll. So five plus, where's my... Who are you attacking with? My greataxe. So five plus seven. Five plus seven, 12. Yeah, we'll say that you connect with that. Go ahead and roll damage on that. Okay. Okay.

That's a nine plus five. Fourteen? That's good damage. Yeah, that's really good damage. Yeah, you take a running start and you try to jump and do something cool, but you just get a little bit of lift and it ends up looking like a normal attack onto Vakum. It's Kaiborg's turn, but before you're able to act, you hear Patches yell, "No help inside!"

Oh, we want to go inside of it. I thought that might be the case. Kyborg, are you still going to try to grab one of the daggers? Absolutely. Hell yeah. What check is that, Gus? Yeah, I don't know. Aren't they like, aren't they magical daggers?

- Yes. - Grab, grab. - I would think it would be strength, maybe? - It'd be something with dexterity. - It'd be like dexterity to pick one out and grab it. - But he's using his hand to hold himself up. - It'd have to be his mouth. - Oh. - At least you would get the handle, right? 'Cause if it's stuck in something. - He's gonna Ace Ventura it. - I'm gonna be full pirate, it's gonna be cool. - Let's just roll an athletics check. Let's just see how the die goes.

- Jorda, five, plus six, 11. - Five. - No. - Come on! - You're lucky you didn't roll any lower. - Inspiration die! - Oh, you wanna try it again? - I got inspiration die! - Use your inspiration die. - He really wants that dagger. - I invoke inspiration. That's a two, that's a seven. - No. - Woo! - You're lucky it didn't cut your tongue. You're unable to snatch a dagger out of the cloud of daggers as it's whizzing by you. However, you need to take 4d4 points of damage 'cause you started your turn.

in the spell. So I roll myself. Do I need to roll them? Bark gets to roll them. I'll use the bad die. Is it the same...

- Is it still rolling? - Okay, but surely with the dagger strike, it's gonna hit the vacuum and I can reach out and grab one. - Oh, because it's another round. - Right, it's like another round. It says a creature takes 4d4 slashing damage when it enters the spell area for the first time on a turn or it starts its turn in there. - If the daggers are also, they're hitting me, but they're also hitting the vacuum, could I grab one of the daggers and do the pirate move where I go down the sail? - Well, it's not like it's impaling it, it's just like slicing. - Isn't it though? - No. - Take your d4, take your 4d4. - Fine. - Are we doing 4d4? - Yes.

- It's four. - Now I get the good rolls. Four. - That's a one. - One. - One. - Two. - Eight. - Eight points of damage. I'm at 21. I mean... - So what do you want to do, Qyborg? You failed to grab it. - Can I stop my spell now? - Yes. - Okay. - Is that the sound of the spell stopping? - To be clear, I gave my weapons away, but I didn't give away my equipment.

Correct. You said you had everything and like you're still holding your shield. Right. Shields on my back. What's a Python? That's like for climbing like little uh, like the spikes that you use. A spike? Looks like a dagger. It's not a weapon. Listen, just give me like give me this. I just want to poke something in, ride it down. You can. I'll say it's not gonna do any damage, but you could do that if you want. That's fine. Can I get it in that way? Yes. Okay, okay, cool. Then I get a Python.

I like, I am gripping, just like, gah, kegeling real hard on that vacuum, and I reach in, grab a python, stab it before I fall, and then I ride down like a cool pirate. Roll an athletics check. You got it! 18, plus 5, 23, boom. No, plus 6, 24! Uh, yeah, uh, it looks really cool. You do, uh, kind of what Gum-Gum wanted to do, but not quite the same effect. And then as I'm going down, I say, Gum-Gum, whoa!

Is there anything else you want to do? Because I would say that would be like a bonus action and one move action. You could still attack or do another move action if you wanted to. I want to use my move action to then go into the hole that I just created because I'm trying to follow Sparky. Okay. I'm assuming he's in... Yeah, sure. We'll say it works. He's stretching the story a lot for me. I appreciate the yes ending that's taking place here. Yes.

Mud. So Vacuum is dormant for the moment. Vacuum. Vacuum is dormant for the moment. He's not sucking or blowing. It's not sucking or blowing, but it is still active. And did Sparky go into Vacuum? Sparky did. Yeah, Sparky ran in, and that's when the winds stopped. Then I'd like to... Maybe he did something inside. I'd like to go into Vacuum as well. Can I use that for my movement? Yes, you can absolutely go in there. Is Sparky in there? Yes, absolutely.

Kyborg's in there as well. In front of both of you floats a glowing yellow core. You assume it's the power source for this thing. Mm-hmm.

As you get closer, wind kicks up around you and you see a large dust golem descending from behind the floating orb. So that's what you see. Mud, you would still have an action if you wanted to. So there is, it's me and then there's a glowing orb and then behind the glowing orb is a dust golem? Yes. All right. You also see Frank and Sparky in there. He's got Kyborg's arm stuck into a bunch of gears. You think maybe that's why they're blowing.

Alright, Sparky, keep doing that, it's lovely. I love that you're doing some good. I want to just break free. I want to break free. I'm going to Great Club Strike at Core. Is it? No, it's... Rib RT Core. Oh, that's a bad roll.

Because you're not using your dice. Oh. I guess I could. That's a 15. Is that your second roll? Nope. That was first roll. Did you see the first roll? I heard you all say it wasn't good. Yeah, if you didn't see it, it didn't happen. That's a 15. That's a 15. All right, all right.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. - There's a generous god. - Gus is being very generous today. - It's a non-canonical one-off, why not? - 15. - All right, you connect. You manage to, with your great club, hit the core. And how much damage do you do? - Six.

Nice. Not really. I mean, it's not the worst thing. Could have gotten three ones in a row. Like some people. The core kind of reverberates. After you hit it. As a bonus action, I cast Hidden Step and I become invisible. Hidden Step. Until the start of your next turn. Yeah, so suck on that.

All right. Don't say that to the vacuum cleaner because... He will suck. Yeah. The dust golem seems unhappy with the core being attacked, but it doesn't know what to do because mud disappeared. It's going to try to attack where it thinks mud was. Oh, mud would definitely have taken at least a step to the side. Yeah, but it's going to try to just attack randomly out in that area. That means it attacks with disadvantage because you're invisible. All right. It's just going to like... All right. Slam there. That's a...

12, which I assume is a miss. That's a miss. 13. That's a miss. He gets a lot of attacks. And a 16. That's a hit. So he just starts flailing wildly around, and one of its slam attacks manages to hit you purely by luck, doing six points of damage. By a tenth HP. That means it is Bart's turn.

You're still outside. Okay. I would like to go inside Vacuum. Okay, you enter and you see the same thing. You see a dust golem doing this kind of thing. Okay, could I see where it's like swinging so I could avoid the area? Yeah, you have an idea of, you figure that one of your friends must be there. Yes. Could I use Dissonant Whispers on this thing or is it also like... Yeah, it would work. Okay. Ooh!

Let's do it. Dissonant that food. So the creature you target must make a wisdom saving throw. On a fail save, it takes 3d6 psychic damage. Immediately use its reaction, if available, to move as far as its speed allows away from you. So I'm going to make a wisdom saving throw here. Where's wisdom? How wise is this dust column? That is a 14.

I think your saving throw was a 13 bar, so I think that makes it. Let me double check. Yeah, 13. So it makes the save, but I think it still takes half damage. Okay. So it's how many d6? 3d6. 5, 2, 4. 11 total. Should we round up or round down? Normally down, yeah.

But this time. But this time. You see the golem roar. It's like trying to cover where its ears would be, which is weird because golems don't have ears, but whatever. Nerd jail. Gum gum. Okay, so gum gum runs in. Okay, you see a golem kind of grabbing at its head. And it's a dust golem? A dust golem. It's like a big pile of dust. Like if you don't clean under your couch for a couple years. Gum gum shouts,

I will do magic flower! And then uses his, uh, uh... Do you wanna use your flower staff right now? His flower staff? Yes. It casts a flower on the golem's head. Okay.

to make a flower grow out of it. And I would assume, as we are little, but it is just a normal flower. It's scaled down relative to you. No, no, but it's just cat. It makes a flower grow. Flowers are no. It's scaled relative. Okay, well, the biggest flower possible, which... Is a three-foot flower. Is a three-foot flower. We've covered this. If you want to listen to Tales from the Stinky Dragon, you can find out why we know this specifically. Well, sunflowers, though. It makes a flower grow...

on the golem's head, which I would imagine would be sucking, you know, it's like nutrients from the golem. But it's like a magical flower, right? Like it's grown from magic. It doesn't need, like, it's not, he's not going to slowly deplete the golem's nutrients over the course of months. You know how plants survive off of dust. Well, it's still a big flower on his head.

Alright, yeah, he's got a big flower on his head. Um... We're gonna die in this vacuum. Vacuum. We're gonna die in this vacuum. Okay. He's like stomping around, uh, seems like on top of, uh, doing, you know, having its hands by its head, now it's like trying to grab at a flower that's- a giant flower that's sprouted out of its head. I'd say the flower's probably like half the size of the golem. That would knock it down, wouldn't it? It- it's very strong. Oh. It's got- it's got- I made a big flower! That you did.

Okay, so there's a big flower now out of it. Y'all are really annoying it. Uh... "Kyborg."

Here we go. I'm gonna goo- do, uh, I'm going for that orb. The power orb. Yeah. And I'm gonna unarm strike it. Now punch the hell out of that thing. Oh, like, you like, with your one arm just like wind up, put all your- It'd be like, "All my Texas smash!" Alright, go ahead and make a, like an unarmed attack, uh, roll on that, uh, core. That'd be a d20, then I roll damage d6. Uh, d20, yeah.

Six plus, what would I add? You would add your proficiency bonus, which is plus two, which is plus eight, plus your strength, which is plus four, which brings you to 12. Okay, 12. Yeah, that hits. Yeah! You punch the hell out of it. Nice. Do I do a d6? Yeah, roll some Damatron. Two. Yeah, it like, boom, it like vibrates and shakes again.

But... Action surge! Action surge. You can take one additional action on your turn. This can be used one time per short rest. Oh, okay. So I'm gonna take a Nelly punch. Once I land that one, I turn back around. You use like a spinning punch, like you punch it, go all the way around and come back. No, I land and then I United States punch it. I uppercut it. Okay. 20! Plus... Oh, okay. So roll a d6 and then add 6 to it.

'Cause we'll assume it's like essentially double. Four plus six, 10. So it's like 10 points of damage to the core on that one. High board looks super cool. Like doing two one-arm punches on the core. Mud, what's up with you? Mud casts Summon Beast. Okay. Call for a Bestial Spirit. Yeah, a Bestial Spirit. Sort of sexy dust bunny. It calls for... Let me conjure something up for you.

No, I'm gonna call forth, like, can I get, like, a bear? Can I order a bear? An animal of your choice that's native to the chosen environment. There's no native animals inside of a vacuum, but we'll say a bear lives in the area around Boulder, right? The question is, is it, like, real-sized bear or our size bear? It's like the size of the golem. It's a teddy bear. Rips it apart. I want this to be specifically a panda.

- A panda bear. All right, you summon a panda. - How intimidating. - There's no bamboo in here. - It immediately falls asleep. - Yeah. And it gets my, it takes my initiative count as well, so it's gonna take an action after me. - Okay. - That's my action. - Okay. - Very cool. - As a bonus action, combat wild shape! - Okay. - I turn into a mastiff again. - You miss being-- - I like being doggo.

And so, you know what? It's going to be another Mastiff, another kind of dog. So two doggies. So two dogs. Two doggies. And doggy goes for attack. Which doggy? Because now I'm confused. My little friend. Okay. My beast. What's it going to attack? It's going to attack the orb. Okay. Go ahead and make an attack roll. All right, my d20. There it is. A five plus not enough. So it does not land. No. Okay.

is gonna take some smashes at the doggy that's attacking it. - No, you monster. - 17, 18, 23. I assume those all three hit. So your doggy friend takes eight, five, 13, 17 points of damage. - Oh my God. - I don't know how much HP it has. - What was the bonus added to those? - Plus two on each.

It has, it says hit points if it's a land type is 30. So how much did you just do? 17. Bart. Yeah. So he's still got the golem and the orb. Yeah, the golem's looking, I don't know, he's looking tired at this point. Maybe the flower's like starting to tilt him off balance. Okay. Um, Bart wants to whip out his longsword. Okay. And just go full in.

- Golem. - He goes, at the golem, he goes, "All right, let's finish this baby." - You do like over the top style or is it like... - If I try to do it, my hair will get messed up. - All right, go ahead and make an attack roll. - Eight. - Its armor class is eight.

So does it connect? Yeah, that hits. Oh, well then my thing would have connected. Oh, you said five. That doesn't hit. You stopped yourself. No, five. I'm sorry then, because it would have been a five plus four. Yeah, that would have hit. So let's go back and roll that damage, and then we'll get to your damage. Negative Nancy over here thought it wasn't enough. Roll a real dice.

Nine. Nine. Ooh, that's a beefy hit. All right, all right, all right. I did something. I did something. Everyone forget how much I look like I did nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Bart follows it up with a vicious long sword slash that does D8 plus two damage. Three. Is that three total or three plus two? That would be five. Five. Yeah, Bart slashes through the golem and it falls into two pieces dead. Okay.

- Oh, I thought it split into two other little gobs. I thought it was one of those creatures. Like a Minecraft slime. - Bart grabs his long sword in both hands and just raises up over his head. He goes, "Yeah!" - The core begins vibrating and making a loud noise and then it shuts down.

Frankensparky is still stuck in the gears, but he gives you a real cool thumbs up as he like falls down and he powers down as well. - No! - With the dust golem defeated and the core destroyed, everything seems to die down. With one final death row, Vacuum starts to shudder, the gears around you start to crumble, pieces start falling, Gum Gum, Mud, Bart are thrown out of the machine. Kyborg, you're left alone with Frankensparky.

With one last breath, he rips his arm out of the gears, turns and hands it to you while it's still giving the thumbs up. Oh, no. I have potions of healing, please. Anything. I can't lose you twice, Sparky. Suddenly, the floor gives out from Frank and Sparky, and as he falls, his legs are caught in the gears. He looks at you one final time, gives you a knowing look, reaches for the golem arm, throws it to you, and Bakum comes tumbling down around you. That is so sad. Everyone wakes up in their rooms. Was that a dream?

Y'all are back in your bedrooms. Roll for was that a dream? 17. 20. 16. It doesn't matter, he wiped the bed. 11. You turn to hear Doctor knocking on the door to the dorms, asking if everyone is alright. Hello, interns. Just checking in. It seems my laboratory doors were left open last night.

Nothing bad happened. No worries there. Just a broken vacuum. Hmm. Oh, and I can't seem to find that shoebox I left Sparky in. Oh, well. Strange little mystery is right. Enjoy your weekend. Sparky will return. Please. Sparky will return. Sparky will only come back

if you buy Stinky Dragon merchandise. Guys, we need Sparky to come back. Each piece of merch we sell is one HP. Capitalism for Sparky! And you can listen to the show, Tales from the Stinky Dragon. You can listen to it wherever you get podcasts. It's all over.

all the different podcast apps. Give it a listen. If you're already listening, thank you so much. Give it a rating. Refer to a friend. Use hashtag StinkyDragonPod. Maybe you could be a character in an episode just like we use some characters this time. As a self-deprecating person who has imposter syndrome and low self-esteem, I genuinely think it is...

the best D&D podcast out there right now. Because of not only the story that's being done and everything like that, but also all of the post work that's put on it. It is a super audio-like version enjoyable experience. Yeah, we have some great people working on it. So, of course, you see us all the time. You hear us in front of the camera. But we've got Ben, who does a lot of production. He wrote today's mini-adventure for you guys. Woo!

We got Micah, who does the main writing for the normal campaign that we do, and he does all the editing, does all the sweetening. He does a great job with it. He wrote a custom song for Mud a couple episodes ago. A full-length song for Mud that you can hear at the end of, I think, episode six? I think it's the end of episode six. All the emotions he couldn't tell John, his brother, he told Mud. Yeah, sure, because we've never talked to each other. And then you can also hear, you might hear some familiar voices show up as characters in it, because that's a thing.

Yeah, so that's one of the things I think that really separates us. All that sweetening, there's music, voice actors to do the parts for NPCs. Sound design. Yeah, it's really almost like a radio play. We do a lot of work onto it. And if people aren't familiar with Dungeons & Dragons, they don't have to worry about it.

We try to abstract the game as much as possible. It's really all about improv and storytelling and having fun. What I always tell people is back in the 80s and 90s, everyone was afraid that D&D was teaching everyone how to worship the devil, but really it was teaching math and improv. I wasn't already a loser. Cooperation and problem solving. If you're already a subscriber or follower or listener of the show, the best thing you can do other than obviously spending every ounce of money you have

on merch. It's tell people. That's the way that these, especially these D&D shows, you have to tell people about these shows and get them to join in to listen to the art. But that's it. That's it for our time. Thank you guys. Woo!