C01 - Ep. 32 - Wight Winter - Prison Breaks and Prizes
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Jubilant greetings to my jackal-headed arcana lofts. Teleport on in to the Stinky Dragon and claw our latest cocktail, Trick or Treat-y. It's a combination of contract cognac, snarl-gray tea, one egg white, and topped with a squeeze of lemon. One sip of this sliced wheel will make anyone spill their guts and their secrets.

Previously, our adventurers found themselves locked up in the dungeons of New Valros, but they finagled themselves free along with some other friendly prisoners and made their way past guards to an ominous iron door. Spider's mud crawled under to discover a secret eyehole uncovering the whereabouts of a warden and a suffering sleek. Will the Infinite's loose lips sink the party ships? Steep your tea and let's tell this torturous tale.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. We're back with another episode. The party is still in this dungeon, closer to the end, question mark? We don't know. They've just spotted Sleek in the other room having a nice cup of tea and a conversation with the warden of this jail cell. I don't want to criticize the writing of the show, but this is once again another dungeon, and we still haven't gotten to the dragons. Mm-hmm.

I'm just saying. Or so we've known. Like 32 episodes. Okay, everyone go ahead and roll initiative. A shadow dragon manifests itself. Yes!

No dragon yet. Just some dungeons and some good friends. Dungeons and good friends. The classic role-playing game. Doesn't roll off the tongue as well. DNGF. Yeah. All right, Mud, when we last left off, you saw Sleek through an eye slot in this office. What do you want to do? DNGF is do not give a fudge. Just putting that out there. Micah said it was dungeons and gluten-free.

Dungeons and girlfriends. To remember where I'm in this closed off room that had the metal door that I swarmed under. Right. And in this room was a desk, a bench, some barrels, a cabinet, and you found your amulet sitting on the bench. Yes. All right. So I'm going to go to the door and I'm going to talk to the door to my teammates. Talking through the door? Yeah, why not? What does a horde of spiders sound like?

A swarm. You know, like when you're listening to a song from Queen and they layer their vocals over and over and over again. Yeah, that's terrifying. As Mudd is talking to us, it's so harmonic that Bart starts playing his instrument that he probably doesn't have on him yet.

Good news! I found my amulet. Don't worry, it's not lost anymore. I've got my amulet. Even better news, there's a person in the room up the stairs that needs to be saved. You guys can just barrel right in and save him. It's sleek. He's getting beat up. I don't know, guys. I don't know. But I'm going to paint it this way, Kaiborg. It's an opportunity for you to smash into a room in a very action-packed way.

Just for clarity, just so I know there's no map you guys can see. For you, Mud, the room is right next to you, but they're outside of the room in a hallway, so they need to go up some stairs, and then from their perspective, they would need to take a left to enter the room that's next to the one you're in. All right, you're going to need to go upstairs, take a left...

and then smash the door down and be heroes, alright? If memory serves, we have like two spears and a candle holder. I don't know if we're equipped for a boss fight. Yeah, I don't know if I feel comfortable fighting without my flower staff. Let's be clear, there's two of you that are melee combatants who have melee weapons with you, so you can still do your normal way of fighting, and then Bart still has Bart's magic.

Bart also has one of the spears from that previous room as well. But what if an occasion arose in which we needed a flower? Well, you know, Gum-Gum, you could be our flower. Okay. I have a solution for this. Okay, I come out under the door, turn back into mud.

And I cast Druidcraft on the floor next to Gum-Gum. And, oh wait, no, that doesn't make, it doesn't make flowers. It makes it their bloom. I was trying to make you a flower, my dude. I'm sorry. Oh, it's okay. From up the stairway, you hear some screaming. What kind of screaming?

Like someone in pain. Those sound like screams of joy and pleasure. I think Sleek's got it under control. We should go get her equipment. I think we need Gus to really immerse us and let us know. I think that's what Barb was trying to get at. Yeah. What's the sound like? Oh, my God. Why?

Oh no, someone drank too many spirits. Quick, let's go. Why is he attacking his liver? I don't know. Well, Gum-Gum's ready to go.

Do we recognize the voice at all? Make a perception check. Oh no, my liver. It's broken. 19. You think it sounds like Sleek to you? I don't want to alarm anyone, but I think I heard someone screaming that sounds a lot like Kyborg's best friend, Sleek. And that's probably who Mud is alerting us about right now as we speak. Okay.

Let's go! I- I'm with Bart. Let's go. But what about our equipment? I- I- I will say, yeah, we should probably save Sleek. Fine.

But, like, we don't have our equipment. I forgot. No, I forgot to tell you. All of our equipment was in that room. Wait, was it? Was it? All of our equipment was in that room. It's in there. It was the Borden's holding it near him. Gus, am I being lied to? Because I don't remember that detail, and I can't rewind. Make an insight check. Insight check. Here we go. I'm going to out D&D you. That's an eight. Shoot. Yeah, they're absolutely in there. Should I use my inspiration die? I think we should.

Could I check? That's all- Bart, all of our equipment is in that room and currently Kyborg thinks our equipment's in that room. Gum Gum is running to go.

There we go. That's my lad. I love that little boy. Take action. Take charge. Okay. Yeah, let's go. Let's be the heroes that we're destined to be. And Bart puts his hand on his heart. To protect it? In a very heroic manner, yes.

- All right, you guys climb a couple of stairs and you enter a large stone hall with several iron lockers, a pair of tables piled with dirty dishes. There is a wooden door to your left and a long set of wooden stairs in the northeast corner leading upward. Asleep at the table in the center of the room appears to be a Valrossian guard holding an empty stein. - Okay. - So he's drunk.

He's asleep. Are there any more weapons in here? Because if we're going to be getting into a fight, I want to make sure we're well armed, and I think only three of us are. Well, you see that the guard has a spear next to him, and you cannot see what is in the lockers from where you are. How many lockers are there? There are three different lockers. There's five lockers. There's five people that they captured us. I might have just condensed it. Did you say he's asleep, or he's just passed out kind of? Make a perception check.

- 25. - Based on the stench of ale, you think that he is passed out from drinking too much. - Waste.

Are you able to do that pass without a trace thing again? It would still be up. Okay, then you guys still have it. And if I recall, Bart's pretty dexterous. I'm also very stealthy. I'll go to the guard and stand behind him, ready to give him a hug. What's Bart doing then? Could Bart go try to...

Open the lockers? Yeah. You walk up to the lockers. Like I said, there's three of them and they're labeled on the doors of each. What's the labels? One of them's labeled cell block A. The other one's labeled cell block B. And the other one's labeled cell block C. Our stuff. Which one were we in? I told you. Do you guys remember which one we were in? Just open them all.

We were in cell block tango. He had it coming. He had it coming. We were in the last cell, so I'd go with C. A or C.

Or A. Or we were in the most secure cell, so therefore we were in A. Let's try C first. What's behind door number C? Let's do it. I like it. Yeah. Bart opens up the locker labeled cell block C, and inside you see two large containers, like two large baskets. One of them has a written name on it that says Charming Channing, and the other one has a written name on it that says Princess Pack Rat. Try it.

Okay. That was the middle cell, right? No, pack that as the lady that you got out to help us defeat them. So that's the last one. So yeah, go A. Yeah. Yeah. That was my other party. Okay, we'll leave that in there for now and then open A. You open up A and there are four different containers, one with each of the name of your members of your partners, Bart, Gum Gum, Mud, and Kyborg.

Re-equipping. Is there a chance that one of the containers is moving as though there's a badger inside of it? You can't tell. Bart would be able to tell. I was asking Bart. I was asking Bart. Well, let me find out. No, not that you can tell.

Oh no. Alright, so I re-equip all my stuff, including my Longbow of Triumph and my shield, and I'm good to go. I'm good to go. You're also not by me right now. Did you make sure, Kaibork, to equip your shield again? Because that's really important that you have your shield equipped. That's the joke I was making, so...

What are you going to do with all the stuff in front of you, Bart? How far away are the rest of the party members from me? They're on the other side of the room. It's not terribly far. I'd say like 25, 30 feet. Okay.

Okay, I should probably bring back each of your equipment sacks one by one to not cause a stir. Could Bart manage two at a time? He asked the DM. Perhaps it's a thrill of the jailbreak or the excitement of seeing his loot again, but either way, Bart is pumped so much that he's able to carry everything back to you all in one go. Okay. My stuff is like 80 pounds. That's a lot of weight. Times four? Is Bart a power lifter? Okay.

Yeah, you all re-equip all your stuff, but you all notice there are a few things missing from your equipment. What's missing? Kyborg, you think someone may have taken your longbow of triumph, your arrows, and your leather armor. Quadrant! All right. We just see Kyborg, like, clenching his fists and going... Yeah, not making any sound. Screaming, but not making noise. You just hear a...

Alright, fine. That's fine. Fine. Fine. I'll equip my shield. Got my long sword. Whatever. I like this as an idea of a way to make our fighter actually fight with his sword. I hate it. I am an archer through and through. Do I know what I'm missing? Gum Gum, you cannot find your ring of jumping, your staff of flowers, or your friendship bracelets. What about your bear trap? I guess it's there.

Yeah. What else is missing? Bart, you seem to be missing your ring of truth telling, your loot, and your instrument of illusions.

How dare. Is this your method of controlling how we play this game, guys? Is this what's happening right now? I'll never tell. What is Mud missing? Mud, you seem to be missing your immovable rod. No! Not anything but that! Your dwarven stone of bread, your wand of secrets, and Gumbo and Hannibal both seem to be missing. Should we check?

Locker number B? Wait, wait, wait. Which one's Hannibal? Do you want me to remind you? I know who it is. Yeah, which one was Hannibal? He's the snake. That's right, that's right. That's why I was like, why would I have a Hannibal? It's because it's a... It's Brink Tussler's flying snake. Yeah, pet, yeah. Hey, GomGom, did you grab any other manacles? Oh, the pancreas! Oh, not that! Uh...

I said, hold on, guys. I said, hey, GumGum, and my Google behind me thought I was talking to it. In my next D&D campaign, I'm going to be called Alexa. Oh, God. Guys, we all got our stuff back for the most part. I really think we should go check on Sleek up there. He sounds like he's in a real bad way. Let's go. Don't we have two pancreases? Do we not have two pancreases? Or am I thinking of kidneys? Kidneys.

They're thinking of kidneys. Oh, whatever. I'm an elf. I have three pancreas. Oh, true, true. Gum-Gum, the rest of your stuff is in that room. Go, quick. All right, let's go. Are we going to breach and clear? How are we going to do this, boys? I just, I did a breach and clear. I told Gum-Gum his stuff is in that room. Let's go. Lick it. Shh.

Gum-Gum runs. Yeah, Gum-Gum breaks in the door, and inside you see Warden Odom with a hammer and a bloodied sleek tied down to a table before him. He's strapped to a wooden table by what looks like two leather belts. Both of his eyes are swollen shut. Nearly all of his fingers appear to be broken, and there's several small incisions cut across his chest. This is dark. Yeah, I thought this was a PG show, Gus. He got boo-boos.

Yeah, in the PG version, he has an ouchie and a boo-boo. We just need a plus two kiss, and everything will be better. Oh, perfect. I get plus two kisses. Since we did surprise him, yeah, can we cast and throw things? I cast entangle. Yeah, so out from the cracks and crevices in the stone floor, weeds and vines start to sprout up in a 20-foot square.

in that area. And the warden needs to make a strength saving throw or else he will be restrained. I'm going to go ahead and do that right now. I forget how weak this spell is. He'll be fine. Yeah, he's just going to Hulk through it. What is the save on it? 15. Well, he rolled a 9, and I don't think he has a plus 6. Let me check. No, so he failed the save, so he is actually restrained. I did it. Can I throw a spear at him just to make sure? Okay.

Because I have the spear to burn and I still want to do ranged attacks. Sure, why not? Yay! I throw a spear at him. And here. He will not get his dexterity bonus to his armor class. Oh, it doesn't matter anyway. He rolled a 19. Yeah, that's definitely a hit. All right.

And then, uh, there's a little bit of damage for you. Kyborg follows up by tossing a spear and hitting him, doing eight points of damage. Warden Odom screams in pain, uh, and he is restrained, unable to move. Hello, uh, uh, warden. Uh, why are you smashing our friend there with the hammer? He's a war criminal.

I'm trying to uncover your plot to usurp and unseat V King Gjorn from his position of power. What makes you think that's what we're trying to do? Why else would you be here in New Valros? That's a great question. Did you bother even asking us when we came? Did ya? Yeah. Yeah. Can't assume the worst of people. Yeah. Do you know what happens when you assume? Do you know what happens? You get a spear in your chest. That's what happens.

His eyes narrow as he looks at mud, and his eyes seem to focus on the amulet around his neck. Sorry, the amulet around his neck. So he's not responding at all? No. Yeah, we...

We're here to broker peace, bro. All right. So stop torturing people. And we're going to gather up this sack of potatoes. And then I make a move to collect Sleek off the table. Okay. The leather straps aren't too difficult to undo. You undo them fairly quickly. And Sleek seems very relieved. Oh, thank you. My best friend, Kyborg. I knew you'd come for me. I didn't feel for a second. Get off me. Don't hug me. I don't want it. I don't want it.

He seems super moved. So moved, in fact, that he starts singing a little melody. Of course he does. The song is so moving and beautiful, in fact, that everyone in your party regains 1d6 hit points. So everyone go ahead and roll 1d6 and you get that back. I got a full six. I rolled a one. He looks a little shocked at what a great reception that his song had. Like it was unexpected that it would have that effect.

So I say, "Sleek, that's... you did good. You did good. You should do that more often instead of, you know, whining about loots and not doing anything." You're right, buddy. I'm going to strive to be like my best pal, best friend in the world, good old buddy Kaiborg every day. That's great, Sleek, great. That's great for you. But that being said, can we get out of here? I'm not too keen on staying in the torture part of the dungeon.

We're still on our mission of diplomacy, and so I'm actually quite still curious. Who told you that we were here to dethrone the king? Make a persuasion check for me. Your big nanny? Does that help? Whoa, this is a PG show. I thought we went over that already. John, calm down. It's 15.

I take my orders directly from V King Gjorn. We are to not allow any outsiders into New Valros. New Valros is for Valrosians only. Anyone else is seeking to usurp or upset our power.

Well, maybe we should have a word with the king ourselves. Bart is, like, real tough right now. Ooh, make an intimidation roll. Is Bart tough? Oh, 24. A 24. Bart. Nat, 20. You are a beast. Have you been lifting, Bart? You been working out? Actually, I have. I spent some time in the old, what's it called? The clink. The clink. Yeah.

Warden Odom, he seems a little intimidated by you, Bart. And he says, well, if you seek an audience with the V-King, he'll be at the 100 Fest. I feel like we should knock this guy out or something. He's tied up. We could probably escape by the time he would get out, right? Bart and Mud make a perception check. Sorry.

So that's 15. 22. Both of you notice that there is a lock on the door to this room. It just wasn't locked when you all entered. Oh, so we could leave and then lock it behind us. Okay. Let's do that. Oh, real quick, real quick, real quick. Where's our missing stuff? Where's my long ago triumph? Where's my badger? I start to take the spear that's in his chest and I start kind of moving it around and wiggling it around. I'm the one that's dark. Let's also take that hammer off of him while we're at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could I have the hammer?

Bart goes like, he reaches out with two hands, it goes like this, like, gimme, gimme. Yeah, yeah, you can take it. He's unable to resist if you always want to go ahead and grab it. Yes. Warden Odom screams as you move the spear around. He says, all those items were confiscated. They were put to good use upstairs. Upstairs. Oh, weren't there stairs going up? Yeah, in the other room there were stairs in the northeast corner that headed up.

Okay. I feel like we should leave this room. We should lock him in and we should go upstairs to find the rest of our stuff before we head to the king. Yes? Okay. Okay. Let's do that. Real fast, I'm sorry. Bart, you had a 22 perception? Yeah. You see that there's actually a key hanging from the warden's neck. Take it. Gimme. He does one of those things where he rips it off of him. You just like grab it. Yeah, your 24 intimidation? Yeah. Yeah. And I don't mind if I take this. And he just yanks it off of his neck.

- Yanks it off. - But wait, you should do a strength check to see if you actually pulled off or if it's just like an awkward thing that you pull and it just doesn't come off and you're just like, ah. - Just yanks his neck forward. - Well now I wanna see that. Yeah, go ahead and roll a strength check. - Dang it. All right, here we go. - Did you get that bad strength roll out of your system? - No. - Yeah, you try to rip it off but it just like pulls his neck and his head down and you hear him yell, "Why?"

Bart starts using his teeth to help break apart the rope. Okay, yeah, it snaps fairly easily under Bart's sharp teeth, and you're able to retrieve the key. How long does that 24 intimidation check last? Because I think it's waning now. I think it's going down as time goes on. I take my spear back. Thank you. All right, you retrieve your spear. Let's lock the door and go upstairs. Okay. Yes.

Yeah, you all leave the room and Bart, yeah, the key that you grabbed is able to lock the door. So you lock the warden in there while he's still entangled. How long does entangle last? Entangle is a concentration spell, so pass out a trace would drop at that point. Should we also check those lockers before we leave, Leif? Or is that like not on the way of where we're going?

Yeah, it is on the way. After you lock the warden back into that room and walk back into the larger room where the lockers were, you see Charming Channing and Princess Pack Rat grabbing their stuff out of the locker. And they give you a wink and they run up the stairs. Bye, friends. Check locker B. Yeah, y'all open up locker B and there's three different containers in here. One's labeled Sour Amy. Another one's labeled Jaded J. And the other one is labeled Hairless Hutch.

I'd feel kind of bad taking their stuff. I don't know. Hairless Hutch was trying to steal people's hair. It's probably just going to be a bunch of hair. Open it. Open it. Open it. Can we look inside? Yeah. In Hairless Hutch's? Yeah. There's a comb, a hair comb inside of Hairless Hutch's. That's all he has? Yeah, a wooden box. Gum Gum takes a chunk of his hair and puts it in the basket. Yuck.

Okay. So Gum-Gum's donating hair. Paying tribute. That's so nice. While you guys are all distracted by that comb, you can see Kyborg in the side just like really resistant to the urge to push Sleek into one of the lockers. He's just... He'll be safe in here. Sleek just thinks he's hugging him. Yeah. Yeah.

What are the other two baskets? In Sour Amy's container is a bag of candy, and in Jaded J's is a spyglass. Candy she stole from babies. Does it seem magical in any way or just normal? It magically makes those things that are far away seem close. Are you going to open up your senses? Yes. Yeah, nothing seems magical to you. Everything seems magical to me. That's my secret. That's beautiful, Gum Gum. That's beautiful, man.

Should we take it? I say no. Uh, whose was that? J to J. J to J. Was he mean? Everyone was nice, I think. Uh, J to J was the snitch. Oh yeah, let's take it. Alright. Alright, let's go. Yes, we go upstairs. We go upstairs now. Yes? Yeah, let's go. Okay. Yeah, you make your way up some wooden stairs. There's a door at the top.

I guess you open up that door as well? Yes, sir. You open up the door, and it opens up into a dim alleyway lit only by a full moon overhead, which does look a little bit bluer than normal. Uh-oh. Judging from the moon's position, you guess it may be an hour or less until midnight. On either side of you are massive stone walls, and at the end of the alley looks to be a wooden door guarded by two Valrasians. So we're looking down an alleyway at another door. Correct. Guarded by two Valrasians. Valrasians there.

So many doors in this episode. There's a lot of doors and guards. It's almost like you don't want us to get through this. Like a dungeon. Quick, Kaiborg, shoot them with your bow and arrow. No, we should handle this diplomatically.

I reach back to grab at an arrow from my quiver, and then I just go, oh, good. Okay, Gum-Gum, how would you manage diplomatically talking to guards in a jail you're breaking out of? Leave this to me. Oh, God. I could also try to cast sleep on him. No, no. Mud holds everybody back except for Gum-Gum, who says, give him room. He needs room. I ready a spear. Ha ha!

I ready a hammer. I run up to the guards. Yes, run up to them. Even better. Oh, God. Oh, my God. They almost don't seem to notice you at first as you're running up. They seem to be talking to each other. And then, like, they don't notice you until you're right up on them and you scream, oh, my God. And they kind of startled and turn and look at you. Go that way quick. There's been a fire. Oh.

A fire? Yeah. Oh, wait, who are you? I'm the fire marshal. We're only Valrossians and you Valross. How did you get in here? I'm the fire marshal. I come here for fires. You need to go that way. Go ahead and make a deception check. I like how the fire marshal's here when there's a fire that broke out. How fortunate for everyone.

It's a deception check at disadvantage because you are Nat Valrathian. Okay. Come on. Give me like two 20s, bro. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. I know he's negative. Deception. Deception. Oh, Nat 20. He's got a Nat 20. All right. Here it is. And a 12. Dog. 22 and a 12. All right. So they got to roll their insight against that. Let's see. They might have a bad roll.

They meet your role. They don't beat it. So they're just very, very skeptical of you right now. Are you crazy? There's a fire. Go. Yeah, just double down. You're going to burn up. One of them looks at the other one and says, well, worst case, if there is no fire, we could get some food. And the other one says, that's not a bad idea. What horrible cards. They look at you and they say, all right, you stay here. We'll be back.

No, I'm going to go work on the fire. No, you stay here. We'll be back. Okay. Yay!

And they wander off down the alley. Towards us? Us. Yeah, but you all are like behind that door still. So you can hide in the watchtower. Bart does the thing where he covers his eyes as if that's going to like keep them from seeing him. Don't worry, guys. I'm only an eight foot 300 pound man in the doorway. I put sleek in a headlock and cover his mouth. Pass.

His sleek tries to break the headlock with his broken fingers, but doesn't seem to really make much progress on that. Oh, God. Can we just ready to jump them?

Yeah, they're walking past you. It doesn't seem like they notice you all. It's up to you if you want to jump them or not. No. No, I'm good. Hold, hold. They wander down the alley and make a turn and they're out of your sight. Mutt sneezes. Bart motions everyone to go towards the door that Gum-Gum is at. Navy SEAL signs. Gum-Gum folds his arm. Piece of...

- I think we're encouraging something awful here. - Yeah, you are. - Gum-gum diplomacy. - Yeah, okay. So now we're by the door? - Yeah, y'all are by the door. It's a pretty big wooden doors. - Try open it. - Yeah. - You open the door into a large crowded courtyard of chaos, fire and shadows. - Fire! - You hear explosions overhead followed by screams and yelling all around.

Children run past you with... little swords and spears? What's going on? A loud voice bellows over the crowd. It's time, the Russians.

A hush falls over the crowd as they all turn toward the voice at the north end of the courtyard. It's difficult to see who's speaking past the mob of people. It's been a long century, and the day has finally come for you all to recognize and observe what happened those many years ago. Drums start to slowly rumble and the crowd murmurs and whispers.

This is... PUNCHREFEST!

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Perhaps you're looking for something more light-hearted for the kids. Well, look no further and head down to the arcade for endless amounts of games and prizes. Feeling a little rumbly in the tummy after so much fun? Then come on down to Center Stage Beer Gartens.

for glutinous amounts of mouth-watering grub and gulps. Plus, you can listen to our first-rate folk band, Fiddle of Nowhere, while you sign up for our tantalizing talent show. Finally, if you have any questions or if we could make your time at Hundra-Festy even better, just come find me, Judge Jade. I'm usually hanging around Center Stage Beard Garden. Judge Jade, out.

Are you outsiders breaking into our festival? Here's a bunch of disguises. The veil things, the Viking veil things. Yeah, wink. Okay, so we do have a mission that we need to accomplish here, which is make our way to the king. However, there's a lot of distracting side options there that I'm really having a hard time not wanting to do. Yeah. Should we look for disguises first? Yeah. I'm down.

I think we should all sneak over to the Vikings, Veils, and whatever, whatever. Also, since we... You mean Valrasi and Veils Investments? That's the one. Since there's like fireworks going off and it's like the night and stuff like that, would Mask of the Wild work?

Because I'm assuming we're sneaking around. I feel like we could make our way through the crowd with all of the craziness going on. You could have it ready. That way you can just dart around in the shadows and maximize your coverage while doing so. Okay.

I want some cool Viking stuff. Same. Yeah, we should probably do that first so that we could go kind of through this whole festival a little more under the radar. Oh, natural. Yeah. Also, can Kyborg look around for whatever upstairs might be? Like, are there any towers or something? Because I am really missing my Longbow of Triumph. Methinks your stuff is in one of these little games.

Yeah, yeah, that would be right. He thinks they're probably selling your stuff in these games or you have to win it back. It's like a carnival prize that they're using. Dude, if a child walks away with the Longbow Triumph for winning ring toss, I am going to snap it. Kybor's going to add children to his list of things he kills along with small animals. Don't forget Sour Amy got sent to jail for stealing candy from children. Let's go get clothes.

Yeah, let's do it. Shopping montage. So you all head over to the Valrasian Veils and Vestaments, which is not too far from you guys. And there's a burly Valrasian behind the stand who sees you all walking up and says, oh, those are terrifying costumes. Grrr.

We'd like to add on to our costumes and get them all a bit more Viking themed. What can you give us? Oh, we've got everything you need. We have Viking masks with tusks. We've got replica armor, replica helmets. We have your different materials, either made out of wax, wool, or wood. You can get some gloves, swords, spears, pickaxe. What's the going rate? Yeah.

- What's the going rate for a set of masks, helmet, and armor? - Well, if you buy the wax stuff, they'll set you back 13 copper, but you know, that doesn't last that great. If you want some slightly better stuff, we've got our fur coat, we've got some fur boots, I've got a cloak, I've got some gloves.

Those are a little finer quality. Those are made out of wool or hemp. Then, of course, our swords and spears are made out, and our pickaxe are all made out of wood. Spirit Halloween really knows no bounds. So to answer your question directly, the mask, the armor, and the helmet all made out of wax would be 13 copper, and then you can add on additional stuff if you wanted to. I want a fur coat. Oh, you've got a fine eye. This wool fur coat will set you back only five copper pieces.

I wish for the whole lot. The whole lot. Like every piece of costume that they have in the store. Yeah, 21, 26. We'll take the lot.

It would be 40 copper pieces for everything he sells, for one of everything he sells. Yeah, and that would, on top of, like I said, that would get you the mask, the wax plate armor, the wax helmet, a wool fur coat, wool fur boots, a hempen cloak with a hood, hempen gloves, a wooden sword, a wooden spear, and a wooden shipwrecker pickaxe. Perfect. Load me up. Oh, oh, big spenders. I can tell by those quality costumes you already have on. He goes ahead and provides you all of the things you requested to buy. Okay.

Okay. Taking four silver out of my inventory. Me too. I'm assuming there's no actual like defensive or attack modifiers that these things offer because they're all fake costumes. No, no. They're like costumes. You see like little kids running around like waving it around and playing with these things. We're LARPers. All right.

So we looked the part. Now we have to pick where we want to go. There was food. There was a talent show. There was a fighting arena. Yeah, there's the Arctic Arena for the ultimate brawl against the Snow Bice. There's the arcade for the kids for games and prizes. There's the Center Stage Beer Garden for...

all the food. There's a folk band there called Fiddle of Nowhere. And then Judge Jay said he would be out there at the center stage. Let's try the arcade. I feel like we could win back some, we can win some stuff that we might need before we go and fight whatever this is.

this Arctic thing is. - Yeah, you know, you're walking around the courtyard and the fairgrounds and you see an area where all of the arcade games are at. And it seems like there's several different games of skill and chance that are all set up. You see one of those bells on top of a wooden beam where you gotta like hit it, bring this hammer down and try to get it to go up and hit the bell. That tests your strength. You see some stalls set up with cups that get shuffled around. You gotta follow them and find a bead that's under one.

There's a target range where you shoot targets with crossbow. There's a pin the tail on the Orocs. Oh, and a ring toss.

Is there a person we could talk to about like the going rates of these things and like what you can win from these things? It seems like they're all they all have their own individual little operators. You have to walk around and talk to each stall operator. Well, I know a fancy little fighter who might be able to do the crossbow game. I want to do the crossbow game. Oh, oh, mud, mud, mud. Can I go to the can I get some coins to go to the crossbow game? Does he do the thing where he like tugs at his shirt? I mean, he is size appropriate that that would be the case.

Yeah, let's go see what we can do over there. Yeah, you walk on over and there's a Valrossian who's stringing up crossbows and oiling them down. And he says, "Welcome to the target range." And down at the end of the range, about 75 feet away, you see different targets set up. And he says, "One silver for three shots."

What's what's the prize? He points in the middle of all the different arcade games says oh if you win you get to pick from any of those prizes and we look at those Turn and look and you see a huge wall with prizes attached to them all kinds of things are up there You see armor you see some cloaks books orbs pipes poles wands bags

potions, longbow of triumph. I knew it was coming. Really burying the lead there. Ring of truth telling, some loot, ring of jumping, a staff of flowers. These are our things. These are our stuff. All kinds of stuff. Carnies.

- All right. How much for that cool... - One silver for three shots. - And I just have to get a bullseye? Like, how do I win one of those prizes? Because I felt like those were worth tickets, right? - Depending on where you hit on the target, you get different points. Get enough points, you get a prize.

All right. Just go for broke. I'm going for it. So I'm going to add a crossbow, a heavy crossbow to my inventory. You don't add it to your inventory. They're just going to let you use it. We're just going to do a check. Right. So yeah, just make like a ranged weapon attack. Got it. All right. So I want to take a shot and I'm rolling what? Just roll like you're attacking with your regular longbow. All right.

Alright, here we go. That's one shot. 14. 14. You hit the inner ring of the first target. 10 points, the vendor exclaims. 10 points to Gryffindor! So, I do have arcane shot, and one of them is a seeking arrow. So, the thing is, I have to make that shot. It's strange, but

I could basically tell the arrow to hit dead center, right? Am I allowed to do this or am I breaking the game? Technically, it's breaking the game, but for this instance, sure. If you want to, absolutely. Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, for the next one, seeking arrow, bullseye, bullseye. I want to just perfectly bullseye it. Okay. Are you going to try to hide the fact that you're using magic or are you going to be very open about it? He's yelling it out. See?

- Seeking arrow. - I'm gonna be very subtle about it. - He'll cough it. - All right, you're gonna have to make like a deception check while you make that shot. - That's a 20, minus two, 18. - Pretty good, all right. I mean, yeah, I guess there's no point in rolling your two hit. - I rolled a 25 though. - 25, yeah, so your arrow flies true and the seeking arrow makes sure it's like dead on center in the bullseye.

And the vendor yells, 25 points for a bullseye. 35 for our sharpshooting friend. So one more shot, right? You have one more shot. I congratulate Kyborg with a slap on the butt. Oh, thank you. And I wink at him. I wink a lot. Don't do that. Don't do that. I keep winking. All right. Bart is pretending to be a Valrossian child. So he's just like wiggling and like all excited and stuff like that. He's going, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. I rolled a 14 plus the four from the D4 that Mud gave me. So that's 18. 18. Another bullseye. This arrow hits in the bullseye right next to your previous shot. Another 25 points for a total of 60 points for our sharp shooting friend with the high score of the night. 60 points. Congratulations, friend. And the person working at the stall hands you a ticket. You can redeem this at the prize wall for your choice of prizes. Sweet. Thanks.

Thanks, dog. Let's play some more. Can you hit the bell thingy?

Should we first see what prizes we could actually get from the amount of the ticket? I'm thinking we're probably going to have to play more than one game. I mean, just to get an idea, like how many points we actually need. Sure. Sure. I can run to the ticket booth. Yeah. Maybe just to figure out like how much all of our items are worth cumulatively. Yeah. Val Rossian working at the prize booth welcomes you up and says, oh, a ticket. I see you get your choice of any prize on the wall.

One ticket for one prize. One ticket, one prize. It's a very complicated system. Gus, help us out and remind us how many of our items are on that wall, because you listed a bunch of stuff. Three for each of you. How many tickets for the immovable rod? One ticket for the rod. This is how GumGum gets it. Yes! Yes! Hey, Mud, you better play next. Yes!

Oh, man, it'd be sad if someone stole all your other stuff. I'm going to redeem it right now before anybody else takes it and I get the Longbow Triumph. Oh, okay. They take your ticket and the Valorossian reaches up onto the wall of prizes, pulls down the Longbow Triumph and hands it to you. Congratulations. Based on your performance at that game, I'm sure you're going to get great use out of this bow. Yeah, thanks. I give it a kiss, but it's like a really long...

And I whisper into it. Everyone acts like they don't see it. They all kind of look away.

So we have to win three tickets each of us. Do you think that we should probably just get, like, finish up with Kyborg at the sharpshooting wall? Or should we go see the other booths right now? Sure. If Blaine just wants to do a bunch of quick checks. Yeah, sure. I'll go back to this thing. So he's just going to go and just destroy this man's booth. Clean him out. Yeah. Yeah, the vendor welcomes you back and says, oh, back for more, eh? Yeah, sure I am.

It's like one of those basketball hoop booths and it's like an NBA star showing up. Just like draining it. Yeah. All right, so three shots with the crossbow? You got to remove a silver. Yeah, one silver. Okay, I'm going to just give you...

- Three silver. - Okay, so you took out your three silver? - Yep, and I'm gonna just sink a bunch of shots with the crossbow. Unless I can use my longbow triumph. - No, no, no, you have to use their equipment. You can't take your own gun to a carnival and play the shooting games.

- Jesus. - I brought my own gun. - All right, go ahead and take your first shot. - I wasn't as good as I could have been. - 14, again on the inner ring, 10 points. - There's another one, a little bit better. - 22, bullseye, 35 points. - Okay, I'm gonna just pepper this one. Oh God, that's a 16.

16. Another bullseye. Barely, but still a bullseye. 60 points and a ticket for our fine sharpshooting friend. I just keep going. He just screams, another! Another! 24. 24. Bullseye! 25 points. 23. Bullseye! 50 points. Oh!

10. Oh, outer ring. 1 point, 51 points. Keep your chin up, young man. You still win a ticket. Okay. You have two tickets. I've got a golden ticket. Go get your stuff. Okay, all right. How about Kedborg just wins all of our tickets for us and we just stay in here all day? Yeah.

I feel useful for once. It's not a bad idea. It's just not a very entertaining idea. That's right. All right. So I go back and I get my quiver. Is that what it was? Yeah. And leather armor was your other item. And my leather armor. And I equip those. Yeah. Give them all kisses. You feel like yourself again, Kyborg. Yeah. What game do you think you could win that very well, Bart? Let's see. We had the... What were the other games? It was the... There's a test of strength. And there's a performance thing, right? Oh.

That wasn't in the arcade, but yeah, there is a talent show. Okay. Is that something you get tickets from? You all haven't gone over there to investigate that yet. It's separate from the arcade. Yeah, what were the other games? There's the test of strength that Gum Gum was mentioning. The cup shuffle where you have to follow three cups and, you know, follow a ball that's hidden under one of them. Pin the tail on the Orocs and a ring toss. I'll do the cups.

I thought you were fancying them aurochs. Oh, the pin the tail? Bart would be too distracted by that. Just looking out of the butt of an auroch. Bart's very perceptive, so I feel like the cup game might be. The what game? The butt game. You got me thinking.

thinking about butts. You got me thinking about those Orocs butts now, Mud. I go nuts for Orocs butts. Our next shirt in the store.

Hey, Bart is not speciesists. All right. He's into everything and everyone. Yeah. All right. Yeah, let's do the cup game. Okay. You walk up and there's a Valrathian Barker who welcomes you. Follow the bead under the cup. Win a prize. It's that easy. Anyone can do it. What about you, little boy? You have the mask on. He can't tell. I'd love to play.

All right, the Barker shows you the bead and hides it under a cup and says, follow this cup and tell me which one has the bead at the end. And the Barker begins shuffling all of the cups around on the table. Go ahead and make a perception check to see if you can follow which one it is, Barker. It's a 13. The Barker finally stops moving the three cups around and says, all right, pick one. Which one do you want to pick? Left, middle, or right? Left.

middle. Bark points at the middle cup. The Barker lifts it and sure enough the bead is sitting under there. Congratulations young men. You win. And the Barker hands you a ticket. Awesome. Oh. Easy. Do it again. Let's play

Let's play that again. I had so much fun. La la la. La la la. All right, Barker, once again, same as before, shows you the bead, sticks it under a cup, and begins shuffling them around. Go ahead and make a perception check, Bart. I tussle the little boy's hair and give him a guidance. I'm lucky, so I get to roll again. Bart rolled a one. Absolutely get to re-roll because you are a lucky little boy, and instead of getting a one, you rolled a

A 16. So which one do you pick? Left, center, or right? Left. You pick the cup on the left. The barker lifts it. And sure enough, the bead is under it. Oh, you're a sharp one, aren't you? He hands you another ticket. So sharp, I'm going to play it one more time. All right. Go ahead and make me a perception check. That is a 20.

the barker once again goes through the same process, shows you the bead, starts shuffling the cups around, but you notice as he's shuffling them around, he very quickly slips the bead out from under the cup that it was in and palms it. And then presents you all three cups and says, uh, pick one. Which one do you think it's under? Uh, Bart does that thing where he rubs his chin very thoughtfully and then, uh, stands up on his tippy toes and he points to his hand instead of one of the cups. Uh, uh, uh,

The barker looks a little nervous and says, no, no, little boy, which cup is it in? The beads under one of these cups. Hey, listen, I might be small, but I'm smart. And he points again at his hand and goes, I know what you did. Give it. Mud walks up like a domineering father. He's like, are you trying to steal my little boy's prize? Daddy, this guy's trying to swindle me.

The Barker seems real nervous and just very kind of quickly shoves a ticket at you. Here, here, here you go. Get out of here, kid. Scram. That's what I thought. Don't want your aunt here anymore. All right.

uh we take off i guess you want to get all your stuff yeah um could bark up to the uh booth with all the prizes and pick his three missing items yeah absolutely you walk up and see the same person kyborg was dealing with up there the val rossian welcomes you welcome uh young lad what can i help you with i would like to get the ring of truth telling the instrument of illusions and that fine loot

- The vendor seems a little puzzled when you say ring of truth telling and just says, points at one of the rings, which is your ring, and says, "This one? This ring here?"

Uh, yeah. Sorry, wild imagination on me. Okay, okay, okay. I've already named it. Valrossian grabs the ring. They're very common. Nothing special about ring that you pointed at. The loot and your instrument of illusions and hands them over to you. Almost lost that one. Well, I've had all my fun for today. Who else? Who's next? I'll go to the hammer thing. Bud, you're going to let him go first?

You know what's at stake. Fight, fight, fight. Okay, Gum-Gum walks up to the test of strength, and it's, you know, pretty typical, like what you picture. It's a long wooden beam with a bell at the top of it, and then down at the bottom is a platform with a rock, and you hit one end of the platform, and it launches the rock up to hit the bell. The Barker spots you, Gum-Gum, and says, Oh, look, strong man, hit the bell, win a prize.

- Okay. Can I just give him like five at once and just do it real, like bam, bam, bam. - Why would you give him five? - Yeah Chris, why five? - In case there's anything else good. - Oh, so you just want to like bang out a bunch. He says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, sir. One game at a time. We gotta make sure everything's above board here." - All right, I give him a silver.

All right, takes the silver from you. Step on up. He's got actually multiple tests set out. They're all essentially the same thing. He points at the one closest to you and says, take the hammer, hit the bell, win a prize. So I guess you can go ahead and give it a shot. Yeah, should I just do it? Just make an athletics check. 25.

The rock shoots up into the air, but it seems like it falls just short of hitting the bell. Ooh, so close, sir. Make a perception check, Gum-Gum.

That's not going to work out. Six. You could have sworn you hit it hard enough to get that bell. Maybe you just didn't quite hit it right. Can I try? You just tried. I want to try. I give him a silver. All right. He points you to the same game that Gum Gum was hitting and says, take a shot. Win a prize. Can I look at the stuff before I hit it? Make a perception check. 14. Yep. It seems like a standard game to you. Okay. Um.

I slap my hands together, give myself a little guidance. Nice. And then roll an athletics check to try to hit the bell, win a prize. Oh, that's a three. Three. I rolled a one. Yeah, you barely hit the target. You actually missed it. Most of your force hits the ground and not the target itself. So the rock barely moves up at all.

Ooh, near miss for our furry friend there. Let me check in. Something was wrong. All right. Gum Gum, you pay him another silver. You want to give it another shot? Roll an athletics check. Okay. Can I look around and also do a check perception? And I'll use my spyglass to...

I'll make my vision even narrower. Yeah, go ahead and make a perception check. Eight. Yeah, everything near and far seems A-OK. Seems like a legit game. Go ahead and make an athletics check to see if you can hit the bell. Go ahead, Gungo. Me and Bart already got our stuff. We're waiting on you, pal.

Alright, here goes athletics. Yeah. 12. 12. Oh no, the rock shoots up into the air, but not even close. Seems like the bell is ever so far away from it. Ooh, close but no cigar, friend. What if we try a different game? It seems this game might not be on the up and up gum gum. Yeah, because it won't go up. Right.

Literally. I'd like to try my hand at Pin the Tail on the Aurochs. As you all are walking away, the vendor there says, come back and try again when you're rested up. You all wander over to the Pin the Tail on the Aurochs game. It's much like what we know as Pin the Tail on the Donkey, but instead of a donkey, it's an Aurochs.

It's a jacked-out cow. Wait, so is this a picture of an aurochs' butt or a real aurochs? It's just like a picture. Oh, God. I thought I was going to... You really got me worried there for a second. Someone's about to get a hoof in the face. Although, I do have animal handling. Ah, that would have been fine. The vendor says, Step on up. Pin the tail on the aurochs. Win a prize.

All right. How much? One silver, one try. Okay. I shall give you a silver. Okay. You hand them a silver. Just so you know, I'm not really going to try and take your thing, John. Oh, no. You should absolutely do it. Do it. Do it. Anyway. Gus wants chaos. Oh, yeah. The vendor puts a blindfold around you, Mud, and spins you around three times. Oh, and then, of course, they put an auroch tail with a little pin in your hand. Go ahead and roll me a perception check. Okay. Okay.

Okay, again, we just have to give some guidance. I give him a little butt tap, and then I roll a perception. Good God. I rolled a one. That's an eight plus a D4. You're not going to get those tickets back. So that's 11. Pinned a tail on Kyborg, and he's very upset by it.

All right. You get spun around a few times, Mud, and you do your best to try to regain your bearings. You think you know what direction you're going in. You put your arm out with the auroch tail, and you walk forward, trying to put it precisely on the picture of the aurochs. Go ahead and roll me a d6. Mm-mm-mm.

Bam. Four. He didn't say the magic word. Four. You feel the tail connect and enter into something. You lift your blindfold and look, and you nailed it. The tail is precisely on the aurochs. Congratulations. You win a prize. They hand you a ticket. Another round. Another round. Okay. Once again, the same process. They blindfold you, spin you around. Go ahead and roll a perception check.

Mud is really enjoying this for some reason. That was a 20. Let's just assume I'm giving myself guidance each time. It's 23. 23. Pretty good. They spin you around. You try to get your bearings. Go ahead and roll me a D6. Really nice ability to be able to add your monster. It's like giving yourself an inspiration die all the time. Five.

Yeah, you do the same thing. You think you've got the hang of it. You know more or less where you are. You try to repeat your past success. You feel the tail enter into something. You lift your blindfold and look, and you did even better this time. It is directly on where the tail should be on the Orocs. Congratulations! You win another prize! And the vendor hands you another ticket. All right. Again.

All right. They do the same process again. Put the blindfold back on, spin you around. You do your best to gain your senses. 14. You're a little less sure of it this time, but you think you know where you're going. Go ahead and roll a d6. Two. You think you've got it. You feel the pin enter something. You lift your blindfold to look, and unfortunately, you missed. You pin the tail on the Orox's face. Oh, so close, sir.

Gum Gum laughs. Gum Gum thinks it's a really funny image with the tail on the face. That's not where the tail goes. He's got a funny nose. Alright, here's another silver. Oh, better luck this time, sir. You put the blindfold back on, they spin you around, roll that perception check. Smack your butt, smack your own butt. 23 plus...

- Two, so that's 25. - 25, you feel pretty good about it. Roll a D6. - Doing it. That's a one. - You feel really good, like you nailed it, but when you lift your blindfold to look, you realize you were not going in the correct direction. You did not get anywhere near the aurochs. Ooh, sorry, sir, that is not a win.

Alright, another one. Another one! Another! I walk up to Mud and put my hand on his shoulder and say, "Listen, this is what it felt like when I was picking that lock." No pressure. We're having a great time. They're having a great time. They're making money. I shrug him off like, "I've got this handled!" Okay, okay, okay. I don't need to be patronized by you. Alright, go ahead and roll that perception check. There it is. Nat 20. 27. 27.

30. 30. Damn. Dang. This is a homing missile. Yeah. Out of pure embarrassment and rage, Mud powers through it, lifts his blindfolded looks, and he pinned the tail on the Aurox. Congratulations, sir. That's three tickets for you. All right. I did it. First tie. There's a line of children just watching. Very concerned.

Should we try to get your muscle? I was going to say, during this, could Gum-Gum have been watching the hammer throwing thing, seeing if he spots anything weird because he felt weird about it? Oh, yeah. Make a perception check for me. I look over there, too. Ten. No. It seems totally normal. Nineteen. Nineteen. Everything seems fine to you, Gum-Gum. You think maybe you're just getting weaker? Did you not eat a good breakfast? I didn't.

You did start the day in jail. That might be it. Mud, however, you notice that because of the way that the game is built, that rock is too light. It's never going to hit the bell. It never gains enough momentum to get up all the way to the top. Oh, Bart. No. What do you need? I feel super powerful right now. Does anybody have a way of making that rock heavier or move more without being caught? I know Mage Hand is visible.

No, but I could always charm people if needed to convince them otherwise that you did something. Or you could go invisible and climb it or something. I don't know. There are also, just FYI, there is also the ring toss game and there are other versions of that test of strength that might work. Oh, there are other versions? Yeah, he just has, he was putting you all on one specific game. Oh, that's right. He said there was a bunch of them and he put us on that one. Oh, okay. Okay.

Okay, Gum-Gum, don't play on the same place he put you last time. Pick a different one. Why? Because he's cheating. What? Gum-Gum runs over and just grabs him. You are cheating. This will work. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no, no. Make an intimidation check, Gum-Gum. It's impossible. That's a 20. Oh, no, no, no, sir. Whoa, let's all calm down. All of our games are above board.

- No. - I love seeing drunk men at carnivals getting mad at the carnies. - You cheated. You were not playing fair. - I think our man is due a free round. - Here, here, here. He reaches into his pocket. Here, I'm sorry. Here, he hands you a couple of tickets.

Here, here, have a good time. I'm going to close this game of skill and perform some maintenance on it right away. I got to make sure everything's above board. Nothing shady ever goes on here. How many did he hand? That should be three. It should be three. Yeah, he hands you three. Here, take three. Three tickets for you.

Mega three. And then I'll try the other. No, we're good. No, no, no. This is something because GumGum needs to prove something to himself. All right. While GumGum goes and looks at the other games and tries to find a DDR that he likes, I'm going to grab my stuff.

All right, Mud, I assume you get your removable rod, your door... Give me my rock, my rod, and my... Wand of secrets? My wand. Give me that rock with this ticket. It's a special-looking rock. It's my lucky rock. It's a good-looking rock. Yeah.

While we're at the ticket booth, what else? Was there anything else, like, decent? Like, was there, like, a potential, like, armor upgrade or? You saw some hide armor up there. That'd be better than leather. There's a Pikachu toy. Do you want that? Oh, wait, we don't know what that is in this world, do we? It's kind of like an Oryx, but just yellow. Oh.

Can I try the another one of the things? The strength one? Yeah. Yeah, go for it. He doesn't even take your silver at this point. Yeah, yeah, all of our games. Here, check, try it out. Yes, go ahead. Try this one. He points you to a different game and gives you the hammer and says, here, go ahead. So go ahead and make an athletics check. Okay. Here comes a one. It's a ten.

- No, go ahead and make a perception check. - An eight? - Nope, you think this one might be rigged too. - Is this one rigged too? - No, no, no, no, sir. Calm down, that's totally fine. Just try hitting it a little more dead on. Put a little more back if you're back into it, I swear. - How am I supposed to hit it with my back? And you give me a hammer.

I feel like we can move on to another part of this festival at this point. We can get all our stuff gone now. We're good. We're square. 19. Oh, yeah. The rock sails up to the top and dings the bell. It makes a really loud ding that rings throughout the night air in the courtyard. See, there you go, sir. I told you all of our games above board. All on the up and up.

It's like an addict getting that hit. He's just like, sweet release. Okay, thank you. Take the ticket and I walk away with the hammer.

Okay, he's not gonna stop you. He does not give you another ticket though. He was just letting you do this to prove that the game was working. But you can walk away with the hammer if you want. You give me another ticket. You didn't pay for that one, sir. That was just a test so you could see. Yes, I did. No, you didn't. Oh, well, I thought I did. I was going to. No, you just walked over and said, do it. Okay, well, then I'll take my hammer and go. Okay, go ahead. Don't forget, tell all your friends. Come on over. All our games are both bored. Tell my friends you're a cheater.

I go over and I tell them, he's a cheater. And then I go get my stuff. All right. For Gum Gum, he gets a special ring, a staff, and some friendship bracelets. And then how much for this hammer? It's yours. Yeah, the person working at the ticket redemption counter looks at it and says, isn't that from the test of strength? You should probably go return that. Test of lies. Yeah.

All right. Mud has started walking out of the arcade and heading towards the stage. That was fun. You all play some board games. Did you all go fight in the wrestling thing? You start walking over to the center stage, which is adjacent to the Arctic Arena. There's like a little gate, and it's roped off around the center stage. And you see someone standing at the gate saying,

Everyone, one goal to enter. What's going on with the talent show? Is there a prize for winning? Oh, yes, yes. We have our talent show going on. Judge J will be playing the part of MC and judging the competition, and he will pick the winner. The winner will get 20 gold pieces and gets to perform for V King Gjorn at his feast in the throne room. Ooh.

- We're building a band or? - Yeah. - Bart, you got this. - Let's get your band back together. - I have been chomping at the bit to perform again, guys. - Don't we have Sleek too? - Yeah, I was gonna say, is Sleek dead? 'Cause he was like being tortured. - But also all of his fingers are broken. I just wanna point that out. - Yeah. - I don't know if he could play the lute. - Weakened at Bernie's. - But he sings like an angel. - He does? He could sing. - Yeah, what if I play and he sings? - Then I can dance.

We want to win.

I'm just kidding. As you all are talking it over, you hear really loud yells of delight coming from the Arctic Arena, which is right next to the center stage. Towards the arena? Should we see what's going on in the arena? Yeah, let's go. You hear a raucous crowd of Alrassians cheering as you approach an enclosed Arctic pit built into the ground so the audience can safely view from above. It's surrounded by 20-foot walls lined with lit torches and covered in snow marked with trees and a few ice barriers.

A Valrasian decked in several fancy furs and other animal trophies is gesturing to the crowd. Come one, come all! Who can face my fierce snowbeist in a contest of strength? I myself have hunted far and wide for a challenge such as this. Come see an example of its ferocity and decide if you can take on this challenge. Bonesaw is ready.

As you're watching, you see he throws three small animals into the arena. A fox, a snake, and a familiar-looking badger. Oh, no! What are you doing? As you all are watching in horror, you hear the roar of the snowbeast, and you see it emerge from the snow and begin charging directly at the animals. Gobbo! Gum-Gum jumps in. Ha-ha-ha!

Fargo's, I can't watch, and covers his eyes. What happens? Is Gumbo safe? Find out on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. How dare you? You can't do that, Gus. My baby. I will snipe that thing before it even lays a paw on Gumbo. Don't you worry, John. Why is Gus hellbent on taking away every animal I befriend while we play D&D? It's because he hates joy, John, specifically yours.

Oh, it's not me. It's the Valrathians. Don't you say that. Don't you say that. I'm just a conduit for what the Valrathians want to do. That's all. Don't you hide behind these fictional Walrus people. All right. Hopefully everyone enjoyed that episode. We'll be back again next week with another one. And we'll see what happens with the Snowbeist and Gumbo. Maybe Gumbo will rise to the occasion and best the Snowbeist himself. That was a blast. All right. Thanks, everyone. Bye. Bye.