C01 - Ep. 29 - Wight Winter - Adrift Ethereal Fanta-Seas
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This is a Rooster Teeth production. Kindest regards to my copper dragons. Swoop on in to the stinky dragon and drain the dregs of our latest drink, the Whiskey Dwagon. It's a mixture of slow-drafted ginger beer, acid wheeze whiskey, topped with a bit of lime, and poured straight to the handcrafted copper mug on the rocks. One whiff of this spicy swill and you'll have more guts than your enemy's entrails.

Previously, our adventurers battled their way out of Broom of Hume, passed a plethora of possessed Valrosians, and wagged their way toward the capital of New Valros. But along the way, they ended up in an esoteric set of ruins where Mud's amulet opened a vortex that pulled the party into the ethereal plane. Claw yourself a cold one, let's unfold this ethereal epic.

You each feel quite disoriented as you slowly swirl about, floating in the hazy mist. Shades of deep blue and purple ripple all around you like viscous waves, and in the distance you hear rumblings of muffled thunder.

Oh, so many things, Sleek. If you want to roll a history check.

I can send you some stuff that Bart can tell the party. Yes, absolutely. Let me tell you all about all the things I know with my 15. 15, pretty good. Here comes my memory. It's all coming back to me. Here comes the lore. Open the correct tab in my memory. Is this the place where Red Skull gives us the Soul Stone? No, this is where we bargain with Dormammu. Ah.

Let me tell you, everyone, of all the things I've heard of the ethereal plane. Folklore knows the ethereal plane as a misty, fog-bound dimension. Some say it's a realm of memory and ghosts. Legend says its borders, or the border ethereal, overlap the material plane like an echo.

Which direction do we go to find Zod? General Zod is that way. Sleeka is watching intently, listening to you, Bart. Extraordinary, Fair Bart. You are wise beyond your years when it comes to the lore of the ethereal. Much wiser than I, it would seem. Yes, I'm very smart. Bart's reading it off of like a gumball wrapper that you just found on the ground.

All right, everyone go ahead and roll a dexterity check for me. I'm waiting for my opportunity to say I attack the darkness. I did a 19. A seven. Just starting off today with a one. 18. And Sleek with a five. Well, those of you who are, we'll say Mud, Kyborg, and Sleek, you're just having a really difficult time figuring out how to float about in the ethereal plane. Like, it doesn't make any sense to you. It doesn't seem like there's any gravity. You're just kind of

freely floating in this mist so you can only move up to about 10 feet in any direction just because you keep spinning you can't quite center yourself. It's the footage of when they tested what cats are like in Zero Gravity where the cat just doesn't know which way to turn and just constantly is turning. And then you cut to Bart and Gum Gum who are like meditating peacefully in perfect harmony. Yeah, Bart

You instantly get it. You can move your normal movement speed in any direction. You're like whizzing around like astronauts on the space station, you know, just like going every which way like with no problem at all. So I'm having a bad trip and they seem to be having a

fun time. We can fly. We can fly, Gum Gum. Check this out. And Bart does a little like spin move and then goes upside down and then spins again. Ooh, give you a performance check. Here we go. That's a 16. Pretty good. It's impressive, Bart. You're flying circles around everyone doing your flips and it's really making everyone else maybe a little jealous. I'm not jealous. I love it.

What's making the rest of your party who are having trouble staying upright very jealous? Just to kind of dig the dagger in a little deeper, he sticks his tongue out and goes, I'm in that scene from Gravity where Sandra Bullock is just flipping through zero G and just like...

And we're really, we're Charlie and Chocolate Factory really wonka where we're not aware that there's a fan that's going to chop us up yet. You're in the fun part. Mud gives himself a slap in the butt and then tries really hard to look around and get any bearing of like if there's a direction we should go. Okay, make me a perception check. Oh, you have a really good perception. 20. 20? Pretty good.

So Mud, you decide to look around and try to get your bearings as best you can. You start to get a feel for floating in the ethereal plane. Your eyes seem to finally adjust to your murky surroundings. And amidst the fog, you notice that the party is near a shoreline. But instead of water, waves of mist lap up against a bank of blue and purple translucent stones of shadow where the ground should be. And opposite of the shore is a singular path flanked by the same shadowy stones and blanketed with fog.

Down the path, you see a silhouette of someone. Stand still for a moment and then silently walk further down the path into the fog away from you. Team, I got some good news and some bad news. Good news is I found the path. Bad news is there's a shadowy figure at the end of it.

And I'm also going to throw up any second now. I feel like you should be saying it like, team, team! Just add a Doppler effect to everything I say. Can I pick up mud and swim towards the direction he pointed? Sure, mud. Are you willing to be picked up? Oh, yeah. Mud never gets to be little spoon or the tiny one at all. So get an opportunity to be the small one. Just being carried. Mud's down.

Let's go this way. Don't throw up on me. I guess that just leaves Kyborg to slowly swim around behind and try to catch up with everyone. Bart could try to help Kyborg.

So Bart's carrying kyborg? Are you down with that kyborg? Absolutely. I'm like, I'm searching through all of my things, like abilities, and I got nothing. Like I could shoot an arrow and hope that it projects me somewhere, but no. Bart's going, take my strong hand. Take my strong hand. They're both strong. Not that anybody wants to really focus on him that much, but we also do need to help Slake.

I think he's fine. He seems to be fine. He's also like a satellite spinning around endlessly, but he's doing his best to slowly try to keep up with you guys. I call up to him and I say, once we land, I'll shoot an arrow at you and you catch it and then I'll pull you down with the rope attached to the arrow. Why don't you just hand him the arrow right now? Because I want to shoot him with an arrow. We're going to kill him. We need to keep him safe.

This is the perfect place to commit a murder, Bart. You see, it's the ethereal plane. He goes missing here. No one's going to find him. Just saying. What is Qyborg's alignment? I'm looking it up. I just clicked on his character sheet to look. My alignment is useful and sleek is not.

Which alignment is a character prone to vendettas and grudges? Because it started with Rink, and then it's just transferred to Sleek. I think that's Taurus. That sounds like lawful evil, but Kyborg is actually neutral good. I'm sorry, he should not be doing that. Can I make changes to that? Over time, sometimes alignments do change. He lied on his resume. That's what it is. Yeah. Micah says you're awful evil. That's a pretty good one.

I'll take it. All right, Gum Gum, did I hear you right? You were picking up mud and then going in the direction of where he saw the shadowy figure? Yeah. All right, Bart, are you taking Kyborg along with you in that same direction? Yes. Mud, kick your feet and be propeller.

And do we go extra fast? No. Can we basically do that Mario Party game where one of us is the wings and the other person is the steerer? Oh, yeah. So one person's going up and down and the other person's steering where we're going. I guess those of you who rolled well would be the wings and the dead weight would be the steerers. Yeah. I like this, calling them dead weight. That's like fun. I could do that.

I could turn into an owl if that helps. Why did you do that from the beginning? I can't fly when I'm an owl. I'm sorry, what? So how would being an owl help? I'm just saying I could flap my wings and we're in zero gravity, so I don't think flying needs to be an ability you have at this point. I would just have appendages that are more prone to propulsion in a zero gravity space. Okay. Okay.

Does mud have darkvision? It's a good question. I don't think I do. But I have- but I can turn into animals that do. Okay, cool. Alright, so that- that not a worthless thing after all then, I guess. No.

Excuse me. We've done a lot of things with my animal abilities that have really aided us in tricky moments. Yeah, but I just found out that you can fly as a bird. Just not yet. I think I can swim at this point. He's working on it. Well, I know Blaine has dark vision, right? Since he's an elf. Does that help at all in this space? It's foggy and misty. It's not necessarily, you know,

difficult to see because it's dark it's just because it's hazy and uh you know like dark vision low light vision stuff doesn't uh help with that can i preemptively cast mask of the wild where i can hide only when lightly obscured like it's it's it mist and rain and all that stuff helps me with stealth because i feel like if there's a guy roaming around i feel like

Well, let's say yes. You're readying Mask of the Wild and you're trying your best to hide even though you're being carried. Okay. I'm hiding behind Bart's shoulder. I'm like... You can't see me. Not a lot of you is hiding. All right. You'll start making your way down the path and you notice the hazy trail widens and the murky landscape around you begins to shift a bit. Bart,

So the landscape begins to shift and you see what you think is a ghastly wooden ship and a misty shadow of a pirate captain at the helm. She appears to be an aquatic fish-like humanoid wearing a feathery captain's hat and an overcoat made of fish scales. Bart, you instantly recognize this as Captain Marge, your former ship's captain. Wait a minute. Bart? Marge? Marge.

Arr, all sailors on deck. Make haste, you bilge rats, for the beautiful and talented Bart doesn't have all day to tantalize your ears. My apologies, fair Bard. All crew members are now accounted for and await your next maleficious melody. Play away, sailor boy. Play away.

Gum-Gum, you hear something different coming from the haze. The landscape seems to turn into like a wispy field of crops with a farmhouse and a smoky shadow of an elderly wizard appears. Gum-Gum, Gum-Gum, oh there you are dear boy. Listen, I've been thinking about it and I believe it's finally time you became the wizard you were always meant to be.

Come, come, let's have a nice long hug and then I'll teach you all I know of the arcane. Hmm, I trust you have your wand with you? Dad? Yeah? Kyborg, for you the landscape turns into a wintry forest with barren trees and a blurry shadow of an automaton appears. The automaton has four humanoid arms, each from a different race, and glowing red eyes.

You instantly recognize the automaton as Quadrin, your arch-enemy that killed your family and took your arm. Quadrin! Cydelius of Everwinter, arch-enemy of Quadrin and the Quadrin Squadron. For too long, you have been the Elven Thorn in my mechanized side. This is it, your one-armed doormat. Prepare to be annihilated once and for all, you weakling.

Sleek sees something different. For him, the landscape turns into a cavernous mine glowing with purple glowing rocks and a hazy shadow of a mountain dwarf appears. The dwarf has a white beard, looks like an older version of Sleek. Sleek, of course, recognizes this as his father,

Flirtace, he is holding a lute and he says, "There you are, Austin. I have wondrous news, son. You don't have to work in these dank mines anymore. We've won the boulder ray lottery. So I bought you this handcrafted lute. Come, let's head topside and you can try it out and play some music for the whole family." Mud, you see something different than everyone else. You see that you all walk into a large grotto made of the shadow stones and mist.

In the fog on the other end of the grotto appears to be an exit concealed by a vaporous curtain shimmering a bright turquoise. But as you reach the center of this atrium, each member of your party seems to float off into their own corner of the grotto as if they're in a trance. Four shadows rise from the ground beneath each of your friends, and they look like the silhouettes of a pirate, a wizard, an automaton, and a dwarf. Each of them open their mouths and begin to leech the life force from all of your friends. Everyone go ahead and roll initiative.

Oh my goodness. This is getting deep. We just saw a lot of things. Before the comments get upset at me, I actually just looked it up, and I actually can't turn into flying creatures yet. I can have them, but I can't turn into them yet. Okay. You'll get there someday. I got a few more levels. Could I level up four times really quickly, Gus? Let me check. No. Okay.

If you survive this fight, because... Each shadow we defeat is a level, right? That's not how it works. Rolled a 14. I have a 23. I have a 9. 10. And Sleek's got a 6. So, Bart, like we said earlier, you see Captain Marge. You're in some kind of strange memory of...

Why don't you go ahead and roll me a wisdom saving throw? Okay. So wise. 22. Dang. Killing these rolls. Yeah, Bart, you're a little overpowered. We need to do some stuff to mess you up. Something about the memory is really comforting. You know, you're like wrapping around you in a warm blanket, but it's not quite right. You know that this isn't something that actually happened. And you...

You know, as you're focusing on it, it seems like the memory fades away into misty curtains and you see in reality you are actually in a large grotto, the atrium of a large grotto with mist all around you and a shadow in the shape of Captain Marge standing right next to you, touching you, leeching life force away from you. Oh my God. This is scary. Is this a Dementor? What's going on here? I guess, yeah, kind of similar, right?

Could I try to like focus on what that like figure actually is or who it is? Yeah, I mean, go ahead and make a

Perception check, why not? Perception check. 14. You can't quite get like a solid fix on it. It seems almost like it's shifting and amorphous. It's just like a dark shadowy figure. No like firm boundaries to it. Okay. Could I put my long sword in my hand and start whipping it around and go, I'm going to go like this. And if you happen to get in my way, it's your own fault. Yeah, absolutely. A brilliant strategist. Look at him go. Okay.

All right, is that your turn? Yeah. Okay, so Bart's windmilling with his long sword in his hand and a shadowy figure nearby. Mud, what do you want to do? You see everything unfold. You see that Bart has come to and snapped out of his trance and he has an interesting attack that he's undertaking.

Can you give me a dimensional readout of how far each of my friends are from me and how far they are from each other? Yeah, absolutely. Like I said, they all wandered off into different corners of this grotto. They're all fairly far from each other. Like between Bart and Gum-Gum, we're looking at maybe 50 feet. Between Bart...

and Kybor, we're looking longer than that, maybe 70 feet or so. And then between Bart and Sleek, that's the furthest. That's going to be like 80 or 90 feet. Okay, so they're pretty separated. Yeah. And when Mud looks at like

one of these shadowy figures and them interacting with one of the other people. Is it just like mouth agape sucking at them? Are they saying magical words? Is there like mystical, you know, some of that fog around them? There doesn't seem to be any like magical words or anything. They just kind of like mouth open, sucking the life force away from your party members. Okay. Bart seems to be at least snapping out of this for the moment.

Yeah. Mud's going to start advancing towards Kyborg's direction, but I can only go 10 feet, I think.

Correct. You cannot go very far at all. From where you are, it'll take you a couple of rounds to get there. Right. Kyborg, you could dash. Yeah, you could dash for 20 feet. I don't want to dash. Okay. Because I don't want to use my action. So we're in an atrium. And then also at the end of the grotto is a curtain-y opening that's got misty fog around it. Yeah? Correct. It's like that misty fog is almost kind of obscuring it.

You know what? I'm going to do some smartness here. Watch out for the smartness. I want to just look around to see if there's anything else in this room of interest or help or just anything. I'm just going to take you in the room. So can I do that really quick? Because that doesn't take up any action time. There's a man lightly concealed behind a curtain moving all these buttons. I'm like...

Is there something that with a 15 I can see? Okay, yeah, and that is a perception check that was rolled. It's a 15 on that. I'm going to say you see, you know, there are different like alcoves and stalagmites and stalactites hanging around the cave. In fact, you know, some of these corners are slightly obscured by stalagmites and some rocky growths that are obscuring some of the corners that make direct line of travel and direct line of sight difficult to some of the more obscure corners.

Okay, then what I would like to do... If I turned into an animal with better speed, would that help my ability to move? You'd roll another dexterity check and we'll see if maybe you can move around a little better with that. Okay. Mudd's gonna split his help. And first, instead of moving towards Kyborg, Mudd's gonna cast Summon Beast.

is going to summon a flying beast. I don't know what an ethereal plane flying beast is, but that's what it's going to look like. It's going to look awesome is what it's going to look like. The beast is in conjunction with the environment I'm in. A dwagon. It's a dwag. Spelled D-W-A-G-O. Very particular monster.

and it's gonna um I'll do dragon turn after my turn because that's how it works out um not dragon it's not dragon you said dragon now I'm saying dragon it's just a flying ethereal thing that's what's gonna then turn into what should mud turn into mud should turn into a dragon a dragon I can't

I'm going to turn into a giant spider because he sees that there's a four-armed looking thing that way towards Kyborg, and he's going to have eight arms. If you out-arm something, you win. Yes, yes. As General Grievous showed us. Yeah. Did you say General Grievous? Grievous, sorry. Okay, I was like this. So I'm now a spider. I'm going to use that as a bonus action for Wild Shape. Okay. So do I get to reroll dex? Yeah, go ahead and roll that dex.

12. 12. That's better than you rolled earlier. So you're getting the hang of it. You know, maybe these extra arms are giving you a better sense of what's up, giving you better propulsion. But now you can float up to half of your normal movement speed in any direction. Half the spiders? Yes. Okay. Then I go 15 feet towards Kyborg. Ooh. Okay. Because at first I thought you were coming towards me, and, like, I imagine Kyborg sticking out his arms like...

And then you turn back and then you start doing some other stuff. And then you started coming towards me. You don't see any of this. You're just confronted with Quadrant. My eyes have not left him. And then my bird, I send to Gum-Gum.

and the bird can attack Gum-Gum's shadowy figure. So the range is 90 feet, so theoretically you could cast it to appear immediately right by Gum-Gum so it doesn't have to travel at all. Oh, then if that's the case, then I'm going to cast it and it's going to be a land one because the land was a little beefier, and I'm going to do a land attack. And it does a maul.

Okay. It gets advantage on attack rolls against creatures if at least one of the beast's allies is within five feet of the creature. Yeah, but right now I'm going to say that doesn't apply because Gum-Gum isn't actively engaging in combat. Like, he's kind of incapacitated in a trance. You're doing that on purpose. No, that's the way it works. He's not a

The same way, like if he was tied up, you know, he can't actually help. Okay. That's true. We got to make this realistic, right? Hello, this is Dungeons and Dragons. If you want your beast that you summon could be a little phase spider. That way you keep it with the spider motif. Yeah. And it mauls the shadowy figure.

Or tries to. Yeah. It's going to do its best. All right. Go ahead and make your attack roll. So 14. Yeah. Your little phase spider successfully manages to connect and hit the shadowy figure attacking Gum-Gum. Like what kind of damage does it do? What does it do? Eight piercing damage. The phase spider rears its ghastly maw and chomps down onto the shadowy figure attacking Gum-Gum doing eight points of damage. Goes for the face. Okay.

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Gum-Gum, suddenly the vision in front of you disappears and turns back into fog. You see the room for what it really is. You see that you're in a large grotto filled with mist and a phase spider is biting a shadow that's standing right next to you. That's it for Mud. Kyborg, go ahead and roll me a wisdom saving throw. -Baudrin. All right, saving throw. Seven, lucky number seven. Here we go.

you're just so filled with rage, you can't think straight, you know, with the image of Quadrant looming large over you.

all the memories just flooding through your mind. You're just consumed by red hot anger and rage, and you can't quite seem to break out of it. - Does Quadrant have the arms of other people that it has defeated on it? - That's what it looks like to Qyborg, has four different humanoid arms attached to it. - So he sounds like a golem that's taken apart other humans. So I kind of want to be like, we're not too different, you and I. - Well, you know, that's something he wouldn't be saying to me, 'cause he's the bad guy.

Alright, so I'm filled with red hot rage and chili peppers. Am I able to attack? Am I able to break through? I mean, I imagine. I guess your instinct would be you want to attack Quadrant. Oh, yeah. Long time for this Quadrant. Longbow Triumph. I take my shot.

It's 11. You rolled a two. You know that thing where, like, you ever have a dream where you're fighting, and it's like you try to punch someone, and it seems like your punches just can't connect, or they're, like, so soft? Like, that's the nightmare you're having right now, where, you know, you think, like, you should be able to get that perfect shot in. You pull back the drawstring on your bow, and you release it, and the arrow just kind of, like, falls slowly down to your feet. Oh, God.

As you look down as the arrow's falling, you realize you're not wearing any pants. Glandry! All right, Gum-Gum, you've snapped back to reality. You see what's going on. Gum-Gum, Mud just killed your dad. What are you going to do about it? Could you... What did Gum-Gum see exactly? Like, what was...

He's talking to his dad. He saw a spider eat his father. Like, did he see something? Like, what do you mean? Like, when the attack happened? Yeah. When the attack happened, when the spider attacked the shadowy figure, like, all of the landscape and everything was still there, but, like, all the color slowly drains from it, and it looks like everything was just composed of mist. Like, the wispy field of crops in the farmhouse is just the silhouettes of the mist, and now the mist is just

to just slowly dissipating and falling back to the ground. Okay, well, I feel like what Gum-Gum would want to do isn't inherently the best thing to do, but I feel like you'd want to try and, like, you know when you wake up from a good dream and you want to try and go back to sleep so you can continue the dream? Yeah. I feel like that's what he wants to do, so it's like...

Is he aware that the bird or spider thing is what stopped it? He would see that the spider is now attacking the formerly old elven wizard figure in front of him. Uh, maybe he doesn't know necessarily that that's what caused it, but he could see, you know, that the elven wizard is no longer paying attention to him and is now distracted by that spider. Okay, then I think he would try and stop the spider.

I mean, I don't... I mean, I feel like that would be his character. Like, that's what he would do. I know it's not like... I totally get it. And I'm not at all motivated because I love the chaos. Yeah. Don't worry, Dad. I'll be back. Don't go away, Dad.

Yeah, go ahead and make your attack roll. Oh, he only rolled a 13. That's a really bad roll. Spider has 13. Yeah, you're able to successfully hit it with your greataxe. What's your problem, my dude? Yeah, so wait, let me... You're... You're attacking mud right now? The spider. The spider.

No, he's attacking the spider. The spider spirit. Oh, okay. Because you turned into a spider as well, right? It's a different spider. Okay, I got my spiders mixed up. You know. As you do. He does 10 damage to my spider. Yeah, you managed to connect with the greataxe on that phase spider. You do a significant amount of damage, but the spider is still there. If a spider could be confused, it would be confused right now. Well, Gum Gum's confused, so... So everyone's confused. Yeah, and then maybe he like...

Closes his eyes like he's trying to squint. Did those Thalrassians drug us before we left at some point? Did we drop acid? They give you the good stuff. All right, so like gum gum, like you're trying to, you close your eyes like you're trying to go back to sleep? Yeah, or see the thing again. Oh, okay, gotcha. Like you're trying to focus. Yeah. Okay.

Sleek is still reliving this wonderful memory of the day he received his handcrafted loot. Take a break, Sleek. You did a lot of work getting that one cart for us. Hey, that helped. You all were able to make your escape. Forget the fact that the cart then knocked everyone into the ethereal plane. I'm glad I'm not the only one jumping on the hate Sleek train right now.

I know he tried to kill us, but guys, we need to forgive and forget, okay? That wasn't his fault. He was being controlled by Paralyte. I just want to remind you. He's a good guy. Okay. These incorporeal shadowy figures, it's their turn. The one by Gum-Gum is going to act first. It's probably encouraged by the fact that Gum-Gum is attacking the spider instead of it. So...

It's also going to try to reach out and attack the spider as well. Rolled a five. That is a miss. Luckily for the spider. The one by Bart, it has a spinning long sword of death coming towards its face. Not coming towards its face. Happened to get in the way. It's your own fault.

It's gonna go ahead and try to reconnect with Bart. It reaches out to hug. Its arms get lopped off. What do we mean by reconnect? Infiltrate my brain? Yeah. It rolled a 15. What is your armor class, Bart? 15. That connects. What?

Wait a minute. I thought if it's equal, it doesn't. No, if it's equal, it does. It just worked with Gum Gum. Yeah, that's what happened with the spider. Oh, because I feel like I've attacked things before and had equal armor class. Yeah, that's the target number you're trying to hit. Oh, it's weird. I actually misread it. My armor class is a 16. Okay.

I'm just kidding. All right. So it reaches out and touches you again and seems to like, it's like it's drawing life force away from you. And it does five points of damage. I did not give it consent. No, you definitely did not. You're not happy about this. Also, you feel somewhat weaker as well. Like I said, like life is literally being drained out of you. So you lose one point of strength as well.

The one by Kyborg. Kyborg is still reliving his dream/nightmare. I hope he studied for his final, because that's coming up after this. Quadrant. Quadrant reaches out to attack and connects. Oh lord. Quadrant raises four arms into the air and brings them down, slamming them into Kyborg, doing 11 points of damage.

So I'm guessing that Mask of the Wild wasn't really taken in. Not right now. And when the fists all come down and hit you, you feel, like, crushed under the weight of them, and you feel weaker, like you've lost two points of strength. What? Oh, come on! In Sleek's memory, he also is taking a little bit of damage and is weaker as well. He's like...

Remembering his first recital in his mind, the strings on his lute keep breaking and he's having to like fix them and retune the lute on stage. Everyone's laughing at him and his pants are missing too. Bart, it's your turn. Okay. Bart, guard your pants. They keep going for the pants. These aren't really like, we don't know what these shadowy figures are yet, right? Make an arcana check, Bart. Okay. That's a seven. Not very.

Yeah, you're not sure. You've never encountered anything like this in your past travels. Okay. I'm going to still try to strike with my longsword. Hmm. Since I'm a little closer now, I think. Yeah. 18. Ooh, yeah. You're so enraged at this figure. It's unusual to see Bart wielding a longsword, but he slices it like he has no problem at all with it and connects. Doing four points of damage. A mighty connect from...

from Bart. Eh, I wouldn't use the word mighty. He's just a little pokey. Uh, sir, anything else you want to do or is that your turn? Uh,

So I can't see anyone else, right? Because of the fog and stuff. You can see, yeah, some of the other members of your party in the distance. From where you are, you can see Kyborg still seems to be in a trance down to the south of you. And then to your east a bit, you see Gum-Gum attacking a spider. Can I cast a mantle of inspiration? Yeah, you absolutely can do that. Okay, cool. So I give it to whoever I could see, which I think you said is...

Kyborg and Gum-Gum only? Yeah, and you can actually also see Mud. He's kind of like in the middle of the room. Okay, so you guys get five temporary hit points. Sweet. Thanks, dog. You're welcome. Thank you. This will help me in my battle against Klaundren.

Each of you, except for Kyborg, because he's still in a trance, so that means Mud and Gum-Gum, you can also immediately use your reaction to move up to your speed without provoking an attack of opportunity. So I don't get the temp HP, or I don't get the... You get the temp HP, you just can't move. We get to move right now? Yeah, you can move right now if you want to. Then I move 15 feet closer to Kyborg. Converge on my position, we're attacking Quadranton!

Gum Gum, do you want to move? I guess maybe I'd move closer to my dad. Okay. Didn't he disappear? Yeah, but he still sees like the mist is still like in the shape of him. You know, like in the cartoons when like someone runs away and like there's like a dust outline of them. It's like that. And it's just like slowly melting. Yeah, he moves closer and tries to help reform it.

Yeah, because as you get closer, like, the wind of you moving kind of further pushes the mist away. So I guess, like, you start using your hands and trying to, like, grab the mist back and reform it. Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad,

Yeah, if I know anything about incubus or incubi is to get closer to them. Yes, your dad is a living fart, but that doesn't stop you. Ahmad, it's your turn. How far am I now from Quadrant? From Quadrant? You're really close. You're probably, I'd say at this point, you're probably like 10 feet away. Oh, 10 feet away. Okay, nice. Yeah.

First I yell at Kyborg. "Kyborg, snap out of it, you stupid little elf! We've got a fight here, it's not quadrant time, it's we're in the ethereal plane, and you're messing around with your memories. Wake up, you idiot!" He just hears like the teacher from Charlie Brown. "Caution, you're trying to distract me. It won't work."

Yeah, it doesn't seem to have any effect, Mud. Kyborg is still just standing there, seeming to be in a trance. He can't quite hear you because the sound is muddled. Okay. Because of the cool battle music that's happening right now. That's the syndrome. Yeah.

I just want to point out muddled. Mud, mud, muddled. Because Micah said it sounded muddy. All right. What do you want? An inspiration die? I'm not giving myself an inspiration die for that one. Okay. Mud skitters closer to Quadrant. And since I have enough range, I'm going to try to get like literally like just kind of wrap around Quadrant with all my legs in front of it. And I'm going to do a bite.

You can do like a Scooby Doo de-masking. Yeah. Foggy Foreman dude has now got a spider wrapped around him. Am I able to see this in my vision? No. To you, you don't see mud doing this. 16. You're able to successfully chomp down on this shadowy figure. Go ahead and roll some damage. I will do that. Six. Piercing Damage. Oh, also, you're going to make a DC 11 Constitution saving throw for Poison.

Unfortunately for you, the shadowy figure is immune to poison. That mud is poison. I thought you were going to say, that mud is on fire. All right, all right. That's an inspiration die for Kyborg. Yay! Yay!

Kyborg, you see like the color and the shape of Quadrant start disappearing. Now you see that Mud is wrapped around this shadowy figure of Quadrant biting down on him. Your arms! Protect your arms, Mud! I have so many to lose. So I'm recognizing that this is just a bad vision at this point. Yeah, yeah. Mud, do you have anything else you want to do on your turn here?

No, but I do have a spider friend that gets to have a turn. Ooh, yeah, your spider friend that just got stepped on by Gum Gum. No, he axed it, didn't he? Oh, that's right, he axed it. Spidey's gonna try to shrug off the axe of a half-orc and go for another bite on the shadowy wizard dad.

All right, go ahead and roll that. Oh, that's going to be like a 24. Sorry. Yeah, that's definitely a connect. Bites the shadowy figure. Two plus four. Plus I forgot to do this last round. It's also plus my spell level. So it would be two plus four plus two. Plus can I make up that other two that I didn't know I needed to add? Yeah. So that's 10.

Oh, that's a good chomp from your spider. Who's your spider's friend's name? Cornelius. Cornelius the spider. I'm going to write that down just so I can remember. I got to write that down too so I can remember it every time I do it. The spider. Cornelius the spider remembers it didn't quite do the right amount of damage last turn, so it gets a little extra damage this time, chomping down on the shadowy figure in front of Gum-Gum for 10 points of damage. Kyborg, it's your turn, and you see...

Where you really are now, this shadowy cave filled with mist and the shadowy figure that was once Quadrin standing in front of you. Okay. But mud is all wrapped up around him, right? Correct. Okay. What other shadowy figures am I able to see? Let's see. Where are you? Kyborg right there. From where you are. Where are you? I thought it too. I thought it too. What is that? I can't say it. That's me. I don't know what that is.

Blink 182. Is it blink? It's blink 182. Where are you? And I'm still sorry. Blink 182, Gus. From where you are, Kaibor, you can see Sleek still in a trance to your east. And then to the north, you can see Bart engaged in combat with another shadow. How far away is Bart? Bart is quite a ways away. About 90 to 100 feet.

Okay, I can make that shot. Actually, can I call out Mud? You got this or do you need my help? I mean, I prefer you not to shoot an arrow at the guy that I'm wrapped around. Sure. Help our little halfling, please. That makes sense. Okay, I take aim at the shadow figure that's bothering Bart. Thank you, Kyborg. And I shoot my longbow of triumph.

Get that, Captain Marge. 14. 14. That does connect. Oh, thank God. See, now that you're not in a nightmare slash dream, your longbow seems to be working properly the way you remember. But my pants are...

What? Rolled an 11 on damage. Did you pee yourself? I don't know. It's Kyborg. It was Quadrant. I'm just curious. You said it was Kyborg. It was weird. No, no, no, no. Quadrant peed my pants. Quadrant peed my pants for me. Damn him. Yeah. Bart, from somewhere to the south part of the cave, an arrow...

comes flying out of the mist and connects with the shadowy figure in front of you. It screams an otherworldly scream as the arrow sinks into it. Did it turn? Did it change? No, no, it's still a shadowy figure. Arcane shot! We're gonna burst that arrow. Let's go. Nice. 2d6. Wa-wa! 6. Barco's my hero. You kibble. Bursting arrow. So, uh...

2d6 force damage to anyone within 10 feet. So that means Bart also takes six points of damage. You didn't even say that they were that close. I take it back. You're not my hero anymore. Bart just did a long sword attack. So, you know, he's within melee range. But no, it's a really long sword. It is an 11 foot long sword, Gus. Yeah, it's taller than me. Shing! Shing!

But it snaps Bart out of it, right? Bart was already out of it. But on the bright side, the force damage exploding arrow may have, you know, pushed Bart back a little bit, but it causes the shadow that was in front of him to fade back into mist and slowly disappear from existence. You're welcome, Barry! Thanks, I guess. Okay.

Good old kyborg. Is there anything else you want to do, kyborg? Maybe start heading towards...

- Yeah, I don't know if I wanna help Sleek. No, I'm done. I'm good. - All right. Gum Gum, it's your turn. The misty shapes have pretty much entirely disappeared and dissipated back into the ground at this point. You can't really make out the farmhouse or the person or anybody who was around you before. - I feel like Gum Gum would rage, go into a rage and attack the spider like an angry. - Spiders! - So you're doubling down on attacking your friend.

He doesn't know. It's like when you wake up someone who's sleepwalking and they're maybe angrier, they take a punch at you. I don't really know that this is a friend. It's not like a fart or someone, you know? It's Cornelius. Come on. He even says to you, I'm Cornelius. Stop hitting me. He can't talk. You don't know. I'm Cornelius. Help me. He's named after Yukon Cornelius, one of the greatest mountaineers.

I thought he was named after Cornelius from Planet of the Apes. That's what I was thinking when I hear Cornelius. I think of Bumbles bouncing. So I rolled a six. Until my rage ends, I'm surrounded by multicolored protective lights. You gain a plus one bonus AC, and while within ten feet of you, your allies gain the same bonus. So technically Cornelius gets it too, even though you don't know that. Well, when I see it? No. You're in trouble now, Spider-Man.

Dad is helping me! And then I take the spider. Make your attack roll. That's 13. Spider's 13. Spider's 13, but the spider gets a plus one from the light, so the spider's 14. Oh, that's right, 14. Thank God. Yeah, so your greataxe actually misses. You feel like it was a really good swing that you took at it, but at the last second, Cornelius kind of like jukes out of the way and barely dodges it. Dad, don't worry!

You see a little tongue stick out of the spider's mouth as it goes to you. Wouldn't it be freaky if spiders had eight tongues?

Is there anything else you want to do, GumGum? No, I just want to like maybe try and scream at the spider. Yeah, make an intimidation roll. That's a 12. That's really bad. I have bad rolls. Yeah, that's not great. You let out a decent yell at the spider, but it's like at the very end, your voice cracks a little bit. You're like, I could have done that better. I think it cracks because I start to cry. The sadness mixed with the rage. I got to say...

Gum Gum's obsession with his deadbeat dad walking out on him is the saddest part of this campaign. Like, he just left for cigarettes and just never came back and he's so obsessed with them. Sleek is still transfixed by this vision. He rolls a 12 on his wisdom save, so he's not able to break out of it. He's not able to see reality for what it is. So he has further life force drained from him as he is rushing to class for a test he forgot to prepare for.

This is going to die. Bad memory. All right. So it's the shadows turn the shadow by gum gum. I guess it's still going to go after Cornelius because the gum gums not attacking it. Yeah. Why don't we just gang up on this tiny little spider spirit? Also, anytime you say like shadow by gum gum shadow by Bart, it just sounds like you're announcing a new perfume or perfume by gum gum. Get it now at JCPenney.

So it gets a 22 as it reaches out to touch the spider, which connects. The spider takes six points of damage. And I'm not sure if the spider has strength, but it feels weaker as well as it loses three points of strength. It does have strength. Won't really matter though. It's getting low on HP. The shadow by Bart was vanquished. Now I can't. Stop it. Stop it. By Bart.

And the one by Kyborg that Mud is attacking is... Who's it going to go after? It's afraid to go after Mud because Mud's the one actively attacking it. It reaches out and tries to grab hold of Mud. Rolls a 19. I'll do it. Which does it. It does seven points of damage.

-Ouchie, wah-wah. -Okay. -And Mud, you feel strength sapped from you as you lose three points of strength. Bart, it is your turn. You took a little, you got a little ouchie from an exploding arrow, but on the bright side, there's no shadow next to you anymore.

So there's how many left now? There are three left. From your vantage point, you can see the one by Kyborg and Mudd. You can see the one by Sleek. And you can kind of see the one by Gum Gum, but it's like partially obscured by a big rock formation. Is the one by Kyborg and Mudd, how close is it to them? It's really close. Mudd's, you know, wrapped up in melee combat with it. And they're standing right next to Kyborg.

Are there any that aren't close to any of my friends? Don't do daggers. No, they're all really engaged and in close combat with them. Okay. But apparently close combat doesn't matter to Kyborg. Just throwing that out there, remember. Does Bart have anything that's precise? I mean, kind of, but I don't know if they would affect these beings because I don't really know what they are. Could I try again to figure out what they are?

Sure, why not? Play a song. Make an arcana check. You're a piano man. 14? You feel like you've heard of monsters like this. They're like living shadows that exist in the darkness and feed off of the life force of living creatures. So they can't really be charmed, I'm guessing. So it's undead and undead in general are resistant to charm.

Uncharmable. But you do know that since it's undead, that they are vulnerable to radiant damage. What does that mean? It's the damage type. Typically, it's like holy of some type. Okay. So what if Bart gets down on his knees and starts to pray? Is that good? Would that work? Or also light, radiant, like a radiant, brilliant light. Beautiful smile. Show that big Barty toothy smile. Hey, Bart, you should smile more often.

Oh, no. What have I done? I've become the very thing I hate. Could I cast a minor illusion of a very bright light then? Yeah, sure. Why not? Yes, and. Yes, and. Thank you, DM. Illusions are just made of light. Yeah. It's just bendy light. Yeah. This one's just very bright. It's like the danger room in X-Men. Bart goes, put on your sunglasses, fellas.

Wait, that was Bart? Yeah, but he says it really quietly so no one could hear him. It just sounded more like a... Gambo? Gambo. No, this is Bart's alter ego, right? Homer? Aww.

I don't remember what we named it. Where do you come up with these names so quickly? How far do we take this until we get sued? It was your alter ego, El Barto. El Barto. Oh, that would have been way better than Homer. Yeah.

You make a minor illusion appear to be brilliant light in the cave. And the shadows seem to, like, recoil and hiss from this minor illusion that you've created. Excellent. Mud. How's this four-armed figure looking? Like, I've only bit it twice. Once? Bit it once. I bit it once. Okay, I only bit it once. I guess I just gotta bite it again. We're just going with a bite. Just keep it simple.

Chomp down. Keep it simple, stupid. It seems like the shadow is recoiling from the bright light in the cavern, so you have advantage on this attack. Okay. Yeah, I'll take that. I won't need it, though. That's a 24. Oh, yeah. You chomp down mightily. And then I'll do... Oh, that's 11. That's max damage.

Nice. And he tries to poison it again, just to see. Yeah, you chomp down, do a significant amount of damage, 11 points to the shadowy figure. And, you know, it's very unhappy between the light and the attack. You try to poison. The poison doesn't seem to really have any effect on it, but it did take quite a bit of damage from you. Cool. And then my...

Cornelius is gonna keep doing what Gum-Gum refuses to do and attack this shattering creature once again with feeling and roll a... Oh, that's only an 11. Whoa, advantage. He got advantage too? Oh yeah, he does have advantage. That's correct. Darn tootin'. I rolled an 11 again. It just wasn't in the cards for you.

Cornelius is trying. Let everybody know that Cornelius is trying. You doing your best, Cornelius? Cornelius is doing his best. Kyborg, it's your turn. Okay, so Bart's Shadows by Bart is dead, and

the one that Mud was hugging a spider. Where's that one at? Could you, like, stab this thing? Do you have, like, a sword? I know you love that bow. Man, I'm telling you, really quick, really quick. How far away is Gum Gum? It's a significant amount. It's probably about as far as Bart is, maybe a little further, 100 feet or so, we'll say. Okay, I really want to run in and unarm strike Gum Gum out of this. But, all right, I'll turn, and I want to pull out my

Long sword. That he just saw for the first time ever. Hey, does anyone know Kyborg has a sword? I feel in my back, you know, when you feel a spider back there and you're like, what the hell is this? I pull out the sword. I'm like, what? How long has that been there? Why did you guys tell me I had a long sword? And then I go in to attack the shadow figure that Spider-Mud is hugging. All right.

That's a 26. First time using his sword. That's awesome! That's a nat 20. Oh my god. Where's this been? Go ahead and roll your damage and then we'll add a full damage die to it as well. Okay. I have my shield out so I'm assuming I'm only doing one arms which would be the 2d8, right? You have your shield out. You can't have your shield out if you're using your bow, can you?

No, because it's two-handed, right? I guarantee you right now, Blaine has had that shield equipped the entire time we've been doing this campaign. I guarantee you his AC has been higher than it should be. Okay, let's... All 29 episodes of this show. Pause, pause. Okay, I go to inventory, and it's the things that are selected, correct? Those are what's... Yeah. Was it...

Yes, it is. I see it. No, you didn't see that. You can't see that.

I thought it was hot stuff. I thought it was a god at this game. I'm a cheat and a liar. Hang on, guys. We have to retcon about 15 different fights really quick. I feel like that would just default to... Kyborg would be dead. Kyborg's dead. You know how we realized that Cornelius should have done more damage and we let him do more damage on the next attack? He's just going to take all the damage now? He's going to take all of the damage that he missed.

over the last 28 episodes. It's just a Kamehameha blast straight through my gut. I'm so sad this isn't a video podcast because if people could have seen the look on Blaine's face when he brought up the shield.

So we're gonna say it's a one-armed attack and you're also gonna go ahead and uncheck the shield unless in the future if you're attacking with the sword then you can check the shield. So but if it's a one-arm attack then but my shield is down then it should be a two-arm attack. Listen this is your punishment be glad it's this minor. You guy! I have altered the deal pray I do not alter it further. All right fine.

Slashing. Oh, God. It's a five. But it was a critical hit. So we're going to go ahead and add an eight to that for a full damage die. So you do 13 points of damage. So you pull out your long sword. Something happens with your shield. Maybe it's there. Maybe it's not. We don't know. But you bring the long sword down across the shadowy figure in front of you. And as you slice through it, it disappears back into mist. Okay. And then I turn to mud and I'm like...

Swords are great! I think I'm gonna make a thing out of this! This is great! This is a good sword! And Mutt turns to Kyra and goes, "Are you wearing a shield?"

Where did my shield go? I thought I just had it on me. You used to be... Yes, what you were. You were the archer that had a shield. Everybody thought it was so weird, but, you know, you made it work. Well, still in character, still in character. Maybe the shield was, like, strapped to my back or on my chest, so I was still getting the effects of having a shield. Oh, my God. So I think it's perfectly acceptable what's been going on this whole time. This is, like...

A trope of some kind, right? I don't know how many times I've heard this like crappy explanation for how someone was using a shield by strapping it to themselves. That's like every D&D campaign you come to this point where someone talks about how they're trying to strap shields to themselves. What am I doing? I'm not surfing on the shield. It's on me. I'm getting the effects of the shield. Although if you're like holding a bow. Yeah. That arm is just holding the bow could also have a shield on the side. Right. My long arm could have the boa.

It affects the way that you're able to turn the bow or even of the arrow flying by is going to hit the shield. It really tells the story of how good of an archer Kyborg is. Yeah, but I have a robot arm that's super strong. I hate you guys. It works. It just works. You love them. All right. Gum gum. Would it help if I gave you back my inspiration die? Would we make amends if I gave you that? It's fine.

You have to go to HP one right now. No, the next time he gets hit. Gum Gum, it's your turn. What's going on right now with the shadow? Yeah, at this point, like everything has disappeared. All the mist is gone. And all that's left is a menacing looking dark shadowy figure in front of you.

And of course, Cornelius the spider. Probably could see us in the distance too. Yeah, he could definitely see Sleek to the south and Kyborg way off to the distance to the southwest. Bart is kind of close, but slightly obscured by a big rock formation. I think I would just go and be like, to head?

Take it back and then like hug it. Okay. I mean, you're not attacking it, but make like an unarmed strike roll to see if you're able to like wrestle it into a hug. Are you going to linny this shadow figure? God. 13. That should do it, but you do have advantage anyway because it's recoiling from the light as well. So go ahead and roll it one more time just so we see.

It's an 18 to hug. 18 to hug. Yeah, you grab onto it and you're squeezing really tight. And as you're squeezing, the form seems to like even further fade and dissipate and falls into mist. I take off my hat. I'm trying to scoop it up with my hat. Oh, that's good. Yeah. So Gum Gum's now trying to scoop up the remains of his ghost father into his hat. Into my wizard hat. Yeah. So sad. Yeah.

Can we play some sad music here? So as you're scooping up the remains of the ghostly figure, Gum-Gum, you find something. There's something special about the wisps that you've gathered. It stabs you. You feel like there's a magic core, a magic essence that you've gathered up. You're not quite sure what it is, but you feel like you should hold on to it, like it's something that can help you.

Metagame talking. It's like there's like a very minor magic item, kind of like the amulet that you froze the water with before. It was an ice shard, not an amulet. It's called the Wisp of Shadow. It'll let you cast Vampiric Touch one time, but it'll be destroyed if it's exposed to sunlight. Do I realize that? Gum Gum might just know that there's like something magic about this wisp that he's gathered up.

Now Gum-Gum, you can't put it in sunlight. See, I had to stick it up your butt. I'm sorry. Those are the rules. Well, now he can just never take his hat off. Gum-Gum drew a tumor three weeks later.

Sleek just cannot make this saving throw. He is reliving each one of his worst nightmares in succession, one after another. The girl he had a crush on in middle school is laughing at him now. God, Sleek is just the worst. Everything about him, his voice actor, all of it. Bart, it's back up at the top of the turn. It's your turn. I think we can just leave.

From where you are, Bart, you are the furthest away from Sleek. In fact, from where you are, you have a very difficult time seeing him because he's so far and obstructed by rocky growth. Am I close enough to cast a spell? I don't know if Dissonant Whispers will work on it, but I think it should. Ooh, you're like right at the edge. We'll say, yeah, you're barely within range.

I cut my hands to make the whispers go farther. Yeah, we'll say, yeah, you're able to, it would affect it. So it needs to make a wisdom saving throw. So you're pulling their trick on them. You're getting inside its mind and preying on its greatest fears. Nice. Which is an oscillating fan. Or a very bright lamp. Yeah. Yeah.

You're like acting like what Batman does to Scarecrow where he flips the fear toxin on them. Yeah. It would just be an overhead fan with a light on it. That's all it is. So it's got a roll. What'd you say? A wisdom saving throw? Yes. That's a nine. What save does it have to make? 13. 13. Yeah. So it fails its saving throws. So I do 3d6 of psychic damage. All right. Go ahead and roll that psychic damage. We got a 11.

Ooh, 11. Your dissonant whispers echo throughout the cavern and reconvene and focus on the shadow. You know, it's still a little dazed, a little disoriented from the light. The whispers just seem to, like, put it over the edge and make it lose its form and disappear back into the mist from whence it came. The whisper said, your parents told me you were a mistake. Oh, no. Two points psychic damage. Oh, no.

So it's GTFO'd? Yeah, and Sleek comes to, looks around a little confused at his surroundings. Hey, buddy. You're okay. Oh, God. I was having the worst nightmares. You're in sweet baby Bart's hands now, so don't you worry. Don't you fret. He's just got like a cold sweat all about him. How is our strength feeling? Not bad.

We don't feel like it's returned? You feel like you're going to have to get some kind of rest, even just like a short rest in order for that to return. I feel comfortable resting in this ethereal place. I don't. I don't at all. Are we out of battle, by the way? Was that the last one? Yeah, that's the last one. You're out of combat. Let's take a nap in this spawn room where the enemies will just regather again.

We should probably try to find our way out of here, huh? There was that door with the shadowy veil, right? Yeah. It's not necessarily a door. It's more like an archway, like an entryway. It's like a cave mouth. Yeah. Don't give us a door. Can't handle a door. That should have been in everybody's nightmare. It's just doors. Doors. All of our nightmares were just doors. Yeah. It's like a curtain of mist. Well...

If I know anything about curtains of mist and dark, shadowy places, you should go right into it. Nothing bad's on the other end. Nope. Yeah. I bet there's a subway on the other side. Remember Sirius? They're popping up everywhere. Can Mud approach the archway and just, like, see if I hear anything on the other side? Or, like, can I see through it? All right, so you walk up to that curtain of mist, and you go ahead and make a perception check. It's a 19. 19. You think you hear, like, wind rustling leaves and snowfall.

There's Christmas Town on the other side of here. We should go through. Yay! Can Kyborg make a front flip through the portal? It's not a portal. It's just a curtain of mist. Kyborg wants to front flip through the mist curtain. Bart sticks a foot out to trip him. All right, well, roll the athletics check first.

- Okay, it's 16. - Not your best roll. Bart, go ahead and make a dexterity check to see if you're able to get your foot out there fast enough. - 22. - 22, that's pretty good. So now Kyborg, you make a dexterity save to see if you're able to recover 'cause Bart is able to get his foot out and trip you. - Okay, here we go.

A 20. So Kyborg starts his front flip through the curtain and Bart sticks his foot out at just the perfect time to trip Kyborg. But Kyborg is able to recover while in midair and successfully performs his front flip exiting the cave. I send my mage out to slap him in the face. Stop it! End the bullying. Gum Gum, I think he'd still be like...

looking around for his dad and like gum gum hey gum gum gum gum he's uh might start snapping like seven of his eight hands yeah

So Mud's doing like a handstand on one hand? Yes. He's very well balanced. It was magic. It was all magic. It wasn't actually real. No, it was my dad trying to talk to me. No, no, it wasn't. Everybody was in it. It was just dealing with a bad magic man that was doing bad things and lying. It was a lie, okay? But...

It's all over now. You're lying. I mean, you can... Whatever. I'm trying to help you out here, little man. Let's pick ourselves up. You know, what do we do when we fall down, Mr. Gum-Gum? We pick ourselves up. You want to make like a persuasion check? God, do I have to?

Yeah, okay. That's a nat 20. Ooh, you feel like he's telling you some really interesting stuff there, GumGum. It seems like it really makes sense now that he's saying it. He's putting it into words. Okay, I'll pick up, but it's only because that's what Dad would want me to do. Correct. That's what he wants you to do, and he wants you to go right through that archway right there, okay, and see how well of a front flip landing that K-Berg did.

I go with mud, but I think I'm hugging him. Oh, I'm going through with gum gum? The spider. Spider mud? Yeah, we'll go through together. Let's go. Not like the hug that killed your father.

Let's go through. Okay. That leaves Bart and Sleek. I guess Bart's staying. The portal closes weird. You're stuck with Sleek. Sleek slowly shambles through as well. He feels very weak, even weaker than normal at the moment. Well, Bart wants to go through with him and kind of help him. So like hold him up and help guide him through the arch. That's really nice of you. He really appreciates it. While I'm also wiping his sweat off of his brow.

Oh, so nice. Friends. Listen, Bart doesn't hold grudges, you know. The short kings have to stick together. Bart's the bigger man. For the first time.

So the entire party passes through the curtain of vapor and your surroundings swirl. Shades of blue and green wash over you like waves of mist until finally the haze begins to settle into shapes of evergreen trees, snowflakes flurrying in the air, and a few straw huts nearby. Everything's still a bit hazy, translucent, with a tinge of turquoise. Everyone go ahead and roll perception checks.

I turn to everyone and I say, I just had the craziest dream. And you were there. And you were there. And you were there. It's Wizard of Oz. I got a 10. Never mind. 13. Okay.

i got an 11. yeah 11 for mud 10 for cyborg 11 for bart 13 for gum gum gum gum is this the first time you've had the highest perception it's gotta be it's gotta be probably so something about this encounter with your father has uh has made your eyes more keen uh you're more open to the world than you were before he taught me a lot none of you can really seem to make heads or tails of where you are but it does seem strangely familiar gum gum

Something about the surrounding trees and snowfall lead you to think that perhaps you're in some kind of echo with a material plane. But yeah, you're not quite sure what it is exactly. Just like what I remember about how it overlaps the material plane like an echo. Oh, yeah. That's right. Bart gave you that little bit of information earlier. It looks like the world without...

Is there snow on the ground? Yes, there's a snowfall that's happening. And Mud, the amulet that you recovered previously seems to be glowing a soft blue. I feel like I want to test the physics of this world and, like, throw a snowball into the air or something like that. Sure, yeah. You make a snowball and toss it into the air? Yeah, sure. Yeah. Like any particular direction? Like, are you just throwing it straight up? Straight up in the air, yeah.

All right. Yeah. Make a strength check. See how far you're able to check that thing. This thing's going into orbit, folks. And here we go. That's a one. That's a one.

I just... Critical fail. Critical fail, everybody. What?

K-Burg, how's the physics in this world? Guys, we're not home. We're not... Something's amiss. Something's wrong. Something's terrible. In the distance, you seem to hear very faint voices. You can't quite make out what they're saying. You hear, like... Mary Kay. Mary Kay. Mary Kay? Mary Kay. I'm just gonna... Mud turns back into Fear Bog. Do the voices sound like...

Or just like normal or just like regular communication? It sounds very lighthearted. Oh. It sounds like almost like children's voices.

Well, Mud doesn't actually care for kids that much, but Mud approaches and starts walking towards the village. It seems like the ghostly version of a village that you see. And as you get closer to the village, you see along the main thoroughfare, there's a small group of children that seem to be running around chasing each other. I mean, they're humanoid, but they seem almost like bear folk, not like any kind of race that you've seen in the past. Then

Then they take notice of you as you all walk up and they stop running around and they're just staring at you. Were they the ones going, Merky, Merky? You think that, yeah, most likely they were the ones who were yelling that. Guys, quiet on set. We're on a Berencene Bears shoot. We got to get out of here. One of the children steps forward and addresses you all and says, Have I reached there too? Oh, that's not going to work out. Uh.

What languages do people understand? Mine is common, goblin, and halfling. Common, draconic, and elvish. I don't think any of us speak this language or else I think it would have come through. One of them points at Mud and all of them look at you and the one pointing at Mud says, Have Nick Feku Vednar gripping? I couldn't agree more.

I'm gonna take a flying leap of logic here and wonder if they're very interested in my amulet. He touches the amulet and kind of like pats it like, you talking about this? The child puts its arm down and just kind of stares at you and all the children are now staring at you. All right. From some of the huts, adults start coming out. It was like,

tribal bear folk warriors, almost like polar bear humanoids. They emerge from their huts. They're carrying spears and they seem to run up to their children, almost like they're protecting them. All right, guys. Arcane shot, bursting arrow. Stop. Stop right now.

Legu fra bervompnin. Oh, this is... We really need to be able to understand what's going on here right now. Is there, like, any spells we have that we'd be able to understand? Is he talking backwards, perhaps? These adults seem like they've circled around the children, like they're protecting them. I kind of... Af verhu er tuharna. All right. I don't know what to do. So...

Mud kind of just waves nicely and just says, Hello, my name is Mud. These are my friends. Where are we? One of them says, Wraith, Wraith, Wraith. Wraith.

They all begin chanting, Wraith! Wraith won't die, my fig! Wraith! Wraith! Wraith! Cyborg also joins in and starts saying the same things. Just like eyes darting around, yes, Wraith! Wraith! I feel like more of a gum gum move, Wraith. At the far edge of this ghastly village, you see a lanky hooded figure skulk from a large hut. It slowly floats toward you and a hush falls over the villagers. I think that's the Wraith. They all fall to their knees and whisper, Wraith!

Wraith. Wraith. The cloaked figure stops a few feet short of you. Though you can't see its eyes, you feel like it's staring into your souls. It addresses you. I am the Planar Wraith, the protector of the Ishmion and the supreme judge over... It stops and turns to face Sleek. With a look of bemusement, Sleek says, Do I... do I know you from somewhere?

I cast Ward of Wind and blow his robe off him.

Okay, sure. So mud conjures up a gale of wind that blows through the village straight toward the hooded figure and their cloak flaps around until finally their hood falls back, but they throw their hands up instinctively to cover their face. The villagers all seem scared by this. They cower a bit. They're looking at each other saying, "Le-nerd? Le-nerd." The planar wraith yells, "Silence!"

Alright! Clearly we have much to talk about, but not here. Come to my hut!

The now hoodless figure leads you to the edge of the village through a curtain of the large hut. He turns to Sleek and says, "Really, Austin? You had to go and use my real name? I would have preferred you at least called me by my alias." And you see this figure is a slender half-orc with pierced ears, cropped black hair, and a boyish face. Sleek says, "My apologies, old friend. You took me by surprise is all. Interns, I believe an introduction is in order.

This is my friend and fellow Infinite, Spectral the Surreptitious. Knew it. We found another Infinite. We're doing good, everybody. Three out of four ain't bad. Hi. Also, Sleek's first name is Austin? Stone cold. Is that what I got? Yeah. Okay. O-S-T-E-N. Okay, O-S-T-E-N. Like, Sleek is his alias. It's Austin Tash is his actual name. Oh.

All right, well, that's it for this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I think we had a fun one. Oh, my God. Exploring your worst nightmares, confronting them, and eventually, you know, finding your way here to the village. We'll be back again next week with another episode. Thanks for listening, everybody. We left Cornelius in there. Oh, no.