cover of episode C01 - Ep. 23 - Deja Ürbloom - Slique’s Symphonic Showdown

C01 - Ep. 23 - Deja Ürbloom - Slique’s Symphonic Showdown

Publish Date: 2021/10/20
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This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

This is a Rooster Teeth production.

Previously our adventurers traveled to Urbloom Pass, they climbed the tower on the back of mud searching for Sleek, but first they encountered a never-ending dance party hosted by DJ Bootsy Cats. Eventually they overcame the sparkling sphere and finally came face to face with the infamous Dwarven Infinite. Will this loquacious lyricist be too much for the interns? Let's tune in and find out together. I believe you've taken enough of my time and my patience is well within. The hour is nigh for my grand overture.

Perhaps you're right. I could use a little warm up on my loot. He strums a clamorous chord on his loop that seems to shake the entire tower. Should I take the shot? Should I take the shot? I think now is the time for talking to end. Everyone go ahead and make a strength saving throw. Oh no. Oh, a strength saving throw. That's a 14 for mud. 13 for barked.

- 24. - That is a, oh, 21. I back flip, I catch myself, easy. I'm still invisible, right? - Yeah. - Nice. - Okay, so Mud and Bart, you both get knocked back off of the loft onto the main floor below, just like the chord of music, the force of it just blows you backwards, kind of like in "Back to the Future." Marty flies in front of the app. Kyborg and Gum-Gum manage to steady themselves and stay up on the loft.

However, for falling down below Mud and Bart, you do take some damage. Like one point, right? You take 17 points of damage. Oh, what the heck? Pardon me, what kind of fall was this? Falling damage is a particular amount of bludgeoning damage taken according to the player's handbook.

At the end of a fall, a creature takes 1d6 bludgeoning damage for every 10 feet it fell. 17 points of damage, huh? For the listeners, that was a 3d6 plus 1. It was a 6, a 6, and a 4. Do I take the shot? Yeah! How can we communicate this? I go, the established language that we had decided upon before, I go...

I don't know if you can hear that, but it was me, PredatorBurry. - Everyone go ahead and roll initiative. - God dang it, okay. - Oh God, we're fighting him, huh? - Can I take a shot? I'm still invisible, can I take a shot? - You wanna take the shot? - I take a shot. - Okay, what are you trying to shoot again?

Sleek. Sleek or the loot? Earlier, you had talked about shooting the loot. I'm just curious. What are you trying to shoot? Well, now Sleek and the loot are one. He has the loot in his hands. Does he not? I don't think they are one. I think he's still using it as a tool. I would go for the dude. Okay. Well, I'm afraid if I say loot, then Gus is going to be like, well, technically, that's a cold shot. According to D5 version 7. Darn.

What are you trying to shoot? I'm shooting... The dude. I'm shooting the dude. I'm shooting Sleek. All right, go ahead. And before I see people rolled initiative, before we get to the initiative, let's go ahead and deal with Kyborg's ready to action. So, Kyborg, go ahead and make your attack roll. I don't like that tone. You said, like, Kyborg. Like, come on, man. You didn't...

If this works out, do some damage, my dude. But it's just Gus's Tony. I can tell he's not happy with me. I'm just getting a bad vibe. Really, just keep digging it. 25. That's a great roll. Go ahead, roll damage. Hell yeah. Get this son of a... 13. Oh, max damage. Ooh. Kyborg lets an arrow fly straight at Sleek. As it's flying, though, Sleek mumbles, Sustained.

And the arrow stops midair. What? Suspended seemingly in time. It's Neo. Man, why would you? I just wasted a really good roll. It was. 25. He just wasted a really good spell to stop it if it makes you feel any better. Did you take up a stealth slot? Did you? Meta? Yes. That's a lie if I ever heard one. I got a 20 on initiative. Negative five for Kyborg.

Let's go back to the initiative now. I'm still invisible, right? Does shooting the arrow take you out of invisible? Someone look it up while I finish organizing you guys. Yeah, Bart, what's the conditions of staying invisible? Usually like taking a action like that takes you out of invisibility. Yeah, it's concentration up to one hour. So if

If I lost concentration, would the spell end? Well, I think to counter that, you were concentrating so hard on keeping me invisible that you fell over, but the concentration continued. Personally, that's what I feel. So that's a good point. A concentration spell. So you have to maintain concentration. When you take damage, you need to make a saving throw in order to maintain that concentration. So since you fell, Kyborg, would you have shot before Bart hit the floor or would Bart hit the floor and then you would have shot?

I probably would have shot after Bart hit the floor because after he attacks, he... Rules of engagement, Gus. You know? Okay. So then it's academic, really. So normally the way it works, just for future reference, when you take damage, Bart, and you maintain your concentration spell, you need to make a saving throw to make sure the concentration spell stays up. Mm-hmm.

So it doesn't matter because one way or another the invisibility drops whether it's by in this case whether it's by yeah whether it's by Bart hitting the floor and taking damage and failing a save or it's by Kyborg making the attack. Okay. In the end the result is the same. Kyborg is now visible. It's academic really. It doesn't even matter. It's academic really. It's academic. It's academic.

I don't even know what that means. You guys keep saying that. It's academic. Barb, Barb, Barb, Barb, it's just academic, okay? It is just academic, my dear Watson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so we have Kyborg and Gum-Gum up in the loft with Sleek still. Mud and Bart have fallen below. And as that chord that Sleek played resonates throughout the room, it seems like some of the instruments on the floor down below with Bart and Mud start coming alive.

the stringed instruments start seemingly moving around on their own. You see a violin, a viola, a cello, and a bass all start moving around and closing in around you, Bart and Mud. What chord did he play to knock us off? It's really important for my character to know what chord it was. That's a Micah question. Just name a letter, Gus. Brown note. C. There he goes. A C chord. Okay. It was a clamorous chord, so it's a C. Okay. We love our alliterations. And it left you flat.

That's good. That was excellent. I give myself an inspiration die. All right. Kyborg, you have the best initiative, so you go first. I mean, I could shoot another arrow, but we all know how well that's going to go, right? Stop being a whiny baby and shoot an arrow. A super whiny baby today. I feel like, yeah. Even more so than normal. Okay.

Shoot my longbow of triumph. Oh, my God. That's a 28. That's an incredible shot. Wow. That hits. Go ahead and roll some damage. Does it, Gus? Does it? That's a 10. You fire off your longbow, and it hits Sleek. It hits him. Doing some damage to him. What did you roll? 10 points there. Oh, I wasn't done. Arcane shot. Exploding arrow. 2d6. Yeah? Yeah, it hits, and then you roll your extra damage. 5.

Not the best. How does that work? What did you say that was? Exploding shot? Bursting arrow. Immediately after the arrow hits a creature, the target and all other creatures within 10 feet of it take 2d6 force damage each. This is the part where Gus tells me I'm like a foot away from sleek. No, no, no. All of my own damage. No, no. I just wanted to make, I was curious about the 10 feet radius. I was trying to figure out in my mind if Gum Gum was that close, but he wouldn't have been. Oh. Y'all are more than 10 feet away. The loft is rather wide. He is a giving God, Gustavo.

So kind. The kindest DM. Yes, I am. You all are so great to recognize my abilities, my benevolence. Oh, my God. That was the best compliment you ever gave us, Gus. Down below on the lower level, the cello closes in on Bart and Mud, and it decides to attack Mud. Mud.

Cello. Hold on. Okay.

Chello's bow swings around and slashes at you, Mud. Let's see if it manages to hit. Oh, that's a nat 20. Oh my god. You see the rolls. You can see it right there. Come on. God, I thought I was getting bullied. That means it just does like a point of damage, right? It's just an instrument. Mud's getting bullied. Remember when Gus killed my last D&D character with a butter knife?

So because that's a critical hit, Mud takes 15 points of damage. Oh, my God, dude. Uh-oh. Do you have healing potions or spells? I got some tricks. I got some tricks. I got some sick tricks that I learned down at the skate park. He's dead. I turned into a possum. I actually died. I turned into my soul, leaving my body. Mm-hmm.

- All right, Bart, you just watched a cello really beat up mud, which is something you never thought you'd see in your life. - Leaving me on a low note. Hey-oh. - Hey-oh. - That's really good. - Inspiration dice good? - Yes, give him a drum beat. - I thought you already had one. - No! - That's why I didn't say it. Oh yeah, that's inspiration dice. Yeah, you get an inspiration dice. - Oh, thank you, thank you. You've got me down quite unhealthy. Give me an inspiration dice. - You got it, Bart. - Okay, I'm gonna try something here.

So I'm gonna fight fire with fire. I have a cantrip called Blue Fever of Bluegrass that I want to cast upon this cello that just smashed mud in the face. Once per turn, you could send forth a shockwave of blue vibrating energy that surges forward towards the target from a banjo. Those targets must make a DC 15 charisma saving throw or become enthralled by the feverish music.

You're going to charm a musical instrument. I'm going to make the musical instrument dance with my musical instrument. With bluegrass. Yes. Wait, so does it do damage or what does it do to them exactly? On a failed save, the target begins to feverishly dance through the magical influence of the music and cannot take an action, bonus action, or use movement until the end of their next turn.

Please break the game. We're currently in a scene from Fantasia right now. Some kind of Fantasia fever dream. Just for the audience's sake, it is a homebrew spell that Micah came up with. I don't want people getting confused out there, which is why I'm asking for some clarification as to what it is exactly that's going on here. No, Bart learned this in the faraway lands of Nashville. Is that close to the Shire? Yeah.

I'm told it should be DC 13, not DC 15. Just FYI. Oh, it says DC 15. Because it's based off of your spell saving throw and your spell saving throw is 13. It was built for a different character. Gotcha. So I took something that I shouldn't have.

All right. So it's going to go ahead and roll a saving throw. Its charisma is plus one. Rolled a 15. So it successfully saved against blue fever of blue grass. Okay. Am I like between the instruments? No.

and Sleek right now. Like he's up there. We're on the ledge down below. So you all, when you remember, you went up the ladder. It was kind of in the middle of the loft. When you were talking to Sleek, it was off to the right side of the ladder. So in the area down below, you're kind of on the northeast side of it.

is the best way to put it. Okay. You're there with mud and the stringed instruments are coming across the room from the west side. So they're coming from the opposite side of the room. Okay. Can I move further away from them by 20 feet if there's room? Yeah, you can move like further toward the easterly wall. Yeah. But,

But may I make a request? In keeping with the musical theme of this episode, can you like dance over? I'll cartwheel over. Ah, there we go. Tiny little bark cartwheeling. It's like a hamster in a ball. Careful, Gus will make you do an athletics roll.

You're in a mood, Blaine. I'm going to mess with Kyborg. Oh, yeah? Bring it. All right. So, Bart, I'll say at this point now you are hugging the Easterly wall. You're hiding behind some other musical instruments that are up against that wall. That are not alive. That are not alive. Not yet. Just kidding. Where are we? Mud. You're up. Mud, the invincible. Bleeding, coughing.

Holding his spleen in. How many instruments are alive down around us? Four. Four. Four. Four. Come on. The cello is the one that is currently threatening you because it attacked you with its bow. You've also got a viola, a violin, and a bass. Okay, okay. Hey, John. Drop the bass.

All right, so here's what Matt's gonna do. The smallest one would be the violin, yeah? Yes. I'm gonna use Webb on the violin. How do you shot Webb?

How do you shot web? With a little thwip sound. Does rock floats on lava? That's a ranged weapon attack. I will roll for attack. Well, that's not a good attack. That's 10. Spider Mutt sprays a string of webs towards the target, but it misses entirely. Perhaps he needs to get a few of his eyes checked. Get some glasses. Okay.

Then what I'm going to do with my movement, since I'm a spider, I'd like to get up to the ceiling. When you say, like, get up to the ceiling, do you mean, like, of the overall room? Or do you mean, like, getting up into the loft or, like, the underside of the loft? Well, yeah, I mean the overall room, not the underside of the loft. Okay.

Let's say you're about 15, 20 feet away from the wall. And I go 15 feet up the wall away from the instruments. So you move 15 to the wall and then up the wall 15. Correct. Okay. Bart, you just see a giant spider appear and run by you and start climbing up the wall. Bart is actually really okay with spiders, so he doesn't really...

He's not affected. I think the spider's bigger than him. He's only afraid of the dark. That is Bart's one fear. I think the spider's bigger than anybody in our party. Probably. I'm pretty huge. You're not even bigger than Mutt. I'm just...

Wombats aren't in D&D, just FYI. They're not? It's not in the monsters. Blaine's trying to get me to be able to see a wombat so I can turn into one, but I just looked it up and it's not in the list. No, specifically, I want you to turn into a combat wombat. There's a difference. We need to add a wombat as a homebrew animal. Okay. Combat wombat, though. Come on. I'll allow it. That's good. All right. The viola's trying to attack. Who's it going to attack? Mud. Right, of course. Mud.

Wouldn't want to do any damage to anybody else. Hey, you're watching the rolls. Break anybody else's nails or anything like that. The viola kind of moves over in the direction of Bart and Mud, but obviously can't reach 15 feet up into the air since Mud is up on the wall. So instead, the viola squeaks a piercing atonal melody that's directed entirely at Mud. Mud, go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw.

John, did you like slash Gus's tires or something? What's going on between you two? 17. This atonal melody just like seemingly is like resonating around, piercing your brain. You made a good saving throw though, so it doesn't fully affect you. You only take five points of damage. God, I have taken so much damage already in this fight. Am I the tank? Am I the tank now? Is that what this is? Am I...

Do I have aggro and everything? Everybody go. Let's find out. It's the violin's turn. God. It's actually going to attack Bart. Oh, come on. Oh, you hush. You hush. You want me to have it attack Mud instead? I mean, ideally nobody, but you know.

My guess, Mud, is pretty beaten down. Actually, I think right now, because I'm a spider, I have more HP than you because you did take a bunch of damage from your fall. Yeah, half my health. Yeah. Well, let's see if this violin makes it any more than half. It closes in and also lashes out at Bart with its bow. The thing I love most now attacking me.

It's come back to haunt you. Only rolled an eight, though. So, unfortunately, it misses. Unfortunately. Unfortunately for me. These are my guys. Hey, Gus, that was awfully violent.

Thank you. There it is. Gum Gum, you're up. So upstairs, it's just me and Kyborg and Sleek. Yeah, and Sleek is standing kind of in the northeast corner of the room by the vanity with loot in his hand. And then downstairs, Kyborg.

Can I see downstairs? You can't quite see from where you are. You're about 10 feet from the edge of the loft. You can kind of... I guess, I mean, you could kind of see down, but you can't... You don't have full view because you're not up at the actual edge. Okay. Mud got hit, so you probably hear some yelling and pain. Okay. I'm going to go into a rage...

That was not a very good sound. So intimidating. Yeah. That was also me stretching. That sounded like a kid who's got gas. Gum Gum either has rage or constipation. We're going to find out. They're not mutually exclusive. So I'll roll my rage random motor. Your wild magic? Yeah. That's a six, which means...

Until your rage ends, you are surrounded by multicolored protective lights. You gain a plus one bonus to AC, and while within 10 feet of you, your allies gain the same bonus. So that'd just be Kyborg. Yeah, at this point, it's just Kyborg. Hell yeah. Way to go, buddy. Cool. It's not the best, but it's not bad. No. There's lots of gum gums everywhere. What? What?

That's what it said. Multicolored lights. Oh, I thought it was like multicolored like versions of gum gums. It's not like little miniature yous. It's like little sparklies. Okay. So gum gums are like, Dad is watching me from above. Dad is watching me. And then charges at Sleek and goes ragey and attacks with a big axe. Okay. So I'll roll for that.

12. That's unfortunately a miss. This fight is going so terribly so far. Well, chutes and ladders. Language, Chris. Is that it? So Gum-Gum goes into a rage, gets surrounded by floating lights, charges at Sleek and makes an attack, but misses. Yeah. Inspiration die. Oh, yeah, I'll do that. Whoa!

The power of meta compels you. I will reroll. Okay, that's better. 20. 20. That does hit. Finally, do some damage, my dude. Seven. Not a great amount of damage. Seven points. It was not great, but at least it's something. We're on the board, y'all. We're on the board. And I got pretty lights. Yeah, and I'm a spider, so progress has been made.

Yeah, me and Kyborg are doing good. We got bonus armor. Mm-hmm. How you guys doing down there? Brag about it to the guys who are getting beat up in the lower level. Yeah, literally being just mauled by instruments. It's like they went to a guitar center and then all of the shelves fell on them. Just fell on us. Just the string section, though. Of course. You know, the classical string section of Guitar Center. That's all guitars. All right.

Oh, look at you. There's no guitar attacking it, but you are correct. There's a bass that has not attacked yet on the lower level, and it's going to attack Mud, of course. Of course. Much like the viola, it kind of moves over by the wall in the direction of Mud, seemingly frustrated that it cannot reach up 15 feet into the air to attack Mud. So it also squeaks out a piercing atonal melody in Mud's direction. Mud, you have to go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw. Son of a...

That's an eight. Mud gets an eight. No, I rolled a one is what I rolled. Mud gets an eight. John gets a call from his homeowners association. Oh, man. So Mud takes 11 points of damage. Man. Are you still alive? Yeah.

On the bright side, though, the sounds in your head are so discordant and grating that you feel the urge to move away as quickly as you can.

Oh, okay. It's a little fear action. You must use your reaction and move as far as your speed allows away from that base. Hells yeah. I'm going all the way to the ceiling, y'all. Bye. Kyborg, unaware that his friend has turned into a spider, takes aim at the spider. Might as well. Hey, everybody, get your kicks in.

Yeah, Kyborg and Gum-Gum, you see giant spider mud bolt past you, go all the way up to the ceiling. The spider is also, like, almost dead. Just, like, that's where we're at. Bleeding spider. Kyborg, it is your turn if you do want to take a shot at the giant spider. Ooh, I really consider it, but of course I won't.

You know the giant spider at this point. You've seen this giant spider. No, I love that giant spider. This giant spider helped you up the tower. Yes. Smarsh is king, but this spider is friend. I take aim with my longbow triumph at sleek. I pull back my mighty bow. Quint!

I messed up. I forgot to give Sleek his turn. Good. I rolled a 25. I'm keeping that roll. We'll use that roll. Thank God. That's my bad. I have Sleek in a different spot here. Sleek rolled the same initiative roll as the base. I just forgot to get to him here in this turn. He's all about that base. About that base. No trouble. Burp.

Bart singing that while just getting beaten by a... I'm trying to think, which of these would be best? How best to kill Blaine's character? Do we think that if we get Sleek, all the instruments will, like, fall lifeless? Perhaps, like, maybe he's controlling them? Usually it's magic rules. Independence Day. Independence Day rules. How silly of me, yeah. Sleek pulls out his sword.

and takes a swing at Gum-Gum who's right up in his face. - That's not very musician of him. - 19. - Yeah, you have a low armor class, don't you? - Barbarians are pretty low. So you say it's not very musician to him, but the sword actually does look like a tuning fork.

How? How? It's a tuning sword. It's like two small blades. You know how a tuning fork is dull? Instead of those dull ends, it's like each end was sharpened to a blade. So how much damage does that do? So like a halo sword. Or a pitchfork. Yeah, kind of like the covenant swords in Halo. You take eight points of force damage from being hit by the tuning sword. And you need to make a strength saving throw. But I'd be half that because I'm raging.

Wait, does raging stop prevent force damage? Because I said it's force damage. Oh, it's force damage. The sword hitting him is force damage? Yeah. You're resistant to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage. Sorry, I heard sword and... Yeah, there's something special about this sword. Besides the obvious cosmetics.

It's a cheating sword. Take eight points of cheat damage. Yeah. And then a strength saving throw. Okay. Yeah, they make a strength saving throw. 17. 17. You feel like the impact of the sword and the force damage pushes you back, but you steal yourself and hold your position and you're unmoved by the impact. Don't fly back. It hurts. Don't do it.

I guess only Gum-Gum can probably hear this because he's close enough to Sleek. You hear Sleek mumble, Accelerando. No, you're Accelerando. Yeah, you get him. Is he going to do some data entry and some table sheets? That's me. That's me. That's what I do. Sleek gets to have all the fun. I get to move stuff around. Accelerando. And next, Werdorando. Accelerando.

And then he takes another slash at Gum Gum with his tuning sword. And how does it go? It's a 23, which hits. And does how much damage? God, I got to roll. 10 points of damage. And you have to make another strength saving throw. Did you plan on killing our entire party this fight? Is this a scripted total party wipe? Is that what this is?

You're watching the rolls, man. That's how it goes. It's a 24 from Gum Gum. How about... Again, you feel like the sword's pushing you back, but you're kind of used to it. You already fought through it one time. You steal yourself, and it does not move you. Hold! More like, it's a rod. Don't. Nice. Are you taunting him?

I think that's too smart of a comeback for Gum-Gum. That is. He's learning. He's been around us for enough periods of time to pick up some comedy. Yeah, he got two shots at it, you know. This is his second time around. Then in that case, since you're taunting him with his left hand, he holds it out in front of him and he says, Adashu! How many moves does this little twerp have? So Kyborg and Gum-Gum both roll me charisma saving throws. What? Yikes.

Don't worry, everybody. They're only negative in Charisma. Oh wait, Gum Gum's actually +2. 5. 14. Both of you feel like you just kind of really slow down. Everything's just like heavier. And you take a -2 penalty to your armor classes. What do you... Bro! And to your dexterity saving throws. But that's only -1 because we're already +1 on our armor class. Correct. This guy's tough. Yeah, it's a bummer.

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Who has their music? Can someone like burn it or something? Or throw it around? I don't know. Do something to distract him? From what I recall, he knows it from memory. Yeah, but it might be worth trying. So Ben and Micah wanted me to explain something for you guys and for the audience, just because it seemed like Sleek did a lot there. So when he first attacked, you know, he did that attack, hit Gum-Gum, then he cast a spell. I said that he said Accelerando. Yeah.

He moved himself in the initiative order from the bottom of the initiative order back up to the top. That's why he got to act again. Sure, why not? A little too OP for my liking. But that was his turn. That was his other turn. Right. So he basically did two turns back to back there. That's why he had so many actions and attacks there. So every time he goes, he's not going to have that many attacks and actions. He wouldn't have done that if Gum-Gum hadn't been taunting him. That's why he moved himself and decided to act again. Gum-Gum.

No, it's good. Kyborg and Gum-Gum are net negative one to AC, but negative two to dexterity saving throws. Cool. Woof. So, Kyborg, it's your turn. You rolled a... 25. 25. You're trying to attack Sleek yet again. 25 does connect. Go ahead and roll damage. Okay. A little bit of this.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that. 13. Nice, 13 max damage. Hell yeah. Oh, I'm not done yet. I want to do an arcane shot with another bursting arrow. Hi-ya! That is a six. Nice. Lots of damage. That's a total of 19 points of damage that you rolled there. Kyborg, making good work with that bow. Yeah, making plays, guys. Someone's got it. Anything else? Say something cool.

- Tuning fork more like tuning dork. - That'll do it, that'll do it. - I say it really like kind of like to myself because I saw what happened when Gum Gum taunted him. So I'm just kind of like, I'm like kicking pebbles on the ground while I'm mumbling it under my breath. - You're like coughing it. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, you gotta be careful when you're trying to taunt an Infinite. - Well, I'm an Infinite intern, so.

About equal standing. More like an infinite. Okay. Wait, was Sleek an infinite? Who's he bringing on? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, snap. I somehow completely missed that part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's one of the infinites that you're looking for. Gotcha. I think we found him. All right. The cello. It's the cello's turn. Cello. It's on the ground. It's where Mud was before he turned into a spider and moved up the wall. It's pronounced spoder, actually.

Spoder, before you became the Spoder. Since you're no longer on the ground near it, it's going to instead pivot and close the distance over to Bart and make a swipe at Bart with its bow. But I'm so far away.

It surely couldn't move that quick. It's a cello. I'm so far. I'm so far. It's got no feet. I'm so far and so small. I'm so small, it's a little boy. Can't get me. That is a 19. On my screen, it rolled ever so slowly. It was almost a three, then it like tipped over to 16. What if it was a three, though? The dice never lie. So it slashes at Bart with its bow, doing...

Seven points of damage. - Oh Christ, on a cracker. - Ben just wrote, "Cello no." - Cello no. - Bart, it's your turn. You're surrounded by a couple of instruments. So two of which have attacked you, two of which have cast spells up at Maud in the air. What do you wanna do? - Would you say the two that are attacking me are within five feet of each other?

Uh, yeah, they definitely are. A-O-E. A-O-E. Could I class... I don't know what you're saying. Could I class... Uh... Cloud of Daggers over? Yeah, that's what I want. Nice. Absolutely.

AoE is like an area of effect spell. Okay. I was like, cloud of daggers is COD. I don't know what you're talking about. Damage on multiple enemies is like a grenade. Gotcha. Cloud of daggers, please. Yes. So you conjure up a cloud of daggers in that area. Yes. They take 4d4 slashing damage. Roll that damage. Dang it. Just ate.

Eight. That's pretty good. Is that eight each? Any creature that starts its turn in the cloud takes that damage.

Are we talking about like data? Yeah. Cloud? iCloud. Okay. No, that's great because that means that if any of the other ones approach, they'll also enter it. Right. And at the start of their turn, they'll take it again. Yeah. Good job, Bart. Mud, you're up on the ceiling. What a feeling. Oh, before my turn ends. Oh, sorry. Could I do my mantle of inspiration? Yeah.

It says a bonus action. Spend one use of bardic inspiration to grant five temporary HP to up to three creatures you can see, and that can see you within 60 feet. Yes. Okay. I don't know who I could see right now. I imagine myself in mud. Yes. The only person you could see would be mud. Okay. Could I give it to myself in mud? Is that possible? Or is it only to like other creatures? I think it's for only for other creatures.

Because it doesn't say other. Like in Bardic Inspiration, it says a creature other than yourself, but Mantle of Inspiration, it just says up to three creatures you can see. But so you spend one use of Bardic Inspiration to three creatures you can see. So my counter argument, if you want to get like real technical or like really nitpicky, would be like, you can't see yourself. Look at your hand. Look at your hand. Yeah.

I pull out my mirror from my pocket. There's a mirror upstairs. Hey, Sleek, let me use this for a bit. Maybe I'll hold off until I can see more people then so I can make use of it better. So maybe scratch that. Okay. Because you're still okay, right, Mud? In what way? You're not on the brink of death, right? I mean, that's a subjective term at this point. That's fine. Use it on yourself. I'm in an advantageous spot at the very least. Okay. Okay.

Bart can climb the ladder back up into the loft. Yeah, could I do that as my move action to come upstairs? Yeah, Bart, your movement is 25 feet. From where you are. But it's more than 25 feet because I'm so scared, right? So I don't know how it's going.

You're able to get to the ladder and start climbing up. You wouldn't be able to get all the way up, but you're partway up the ladder. Okay, cool. That's very scary. You're in a precarious position now. You're just like stuck on a ladder and there's instruments that are like zooming around. But who knows if they could climb? It might be one of those like go across the water. They can't swim kind of situations. Like a hoverboard.

Okay, I think that's my turn. Okay, Mud. I'm going to use a second level spell slot and give me some HP. And since I burned a second level slot, I get to do roll 2d8 because Mud needs health. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. It's a two. Roll two ones. Roll two ones, y'all. Mud, what is going on, bud? That's not good.

Do you have an inspiration? I think mud's sick. No, I want to use save that for something else. But buddy, you just got two HP. He's going to save it and he's going to have an awesome funeral. You guys, it's going to be so awesome. That inspiration die is going to make it great. Hush, hush. I'm okay. Roll for casket. You're okay. You're the one that keeps whining that you have no health. I'm trying to manifest that I'm okay. Positive thinking.

He just did the equivalent of like slapping a bandaid on his broken arm. Yeah. Rolled some spit on it. I'm actually going to go down to sleep. Into the loft? Yeah. How are you going to do? Are you going to crawl down? Are you going to make like one of those, like do that thing the spiders do where they like let one like little strand out and they like slowly descend down? Yeah.

No, I think Mud would want to make a big old entrance and just plop down like, rawr. And I'm going to bite Sleek. Bite him with a 21.

Yeah, that hits. Sleek's so focused on Gum Gum and Kyborg, he pays no mind to the spider above him. He pops down on him and gives him a little bite. Hey, no little bite. That's a big bite. A big old bite. Does piercing damage, which I'll roll for, and then the target must make a DC 11, a constitution saving throw. That'll determine taking some poison damage. All right. Okay, so first of all, the piercing damage from the actual chomp. Rolling now. That's a one!

Oh my god. You just got it. That's a d8 though. Can you tap your own butt? Is that something you can do? Yeah, I can't use guidance while in spider form. So he takes four damage with that piercing damage. Oh, it's like a d8 plus three. d8 plus three, yeah. What's the save constitution or not? Twelve. What save did he need to make? Eleven. So I rolled a nine. You take half damage.

of poison damage. We'll say that's five. See, don't say I never did anything for you. That's an extra one. Thanks, sweetie. All right. Is that it for Mud's turn? Hold. Okay. Hold the line. Hey, I'm going to address the group right now. Don't we have those things that we got that give us the little bonus things that we had? Yeah. I don't remember what they're called. What are they? Oh, the boons? The boons. I know I don't have one. Does everybody else have a boon that they want to burn? I have a boon of speed.

Just out of curiosity, this might be a time to use it. Just throwing it out there into the universe. Hey, just so everyone knows, Mudd's not going to use his inspiration die, but you all should use your boon. Mudd's still attacked. I don't need your sass. I have the recovery pin I could throw to you or something. I think you have to use it. No, no, we can give it to each other because it's a physical item. Oh, okay. Well, you do what you want to do with it, but I just want to remind everybody that we have them because I just remembered that we have them. That talking spider makes a good point.

How much of my movement speed did I use to go down to get him? Well, how did you go down? I mean, did you just like, you said you just jumped down? First question, would jumping down have been fall damage at that height? I'm going to say no, because you're a spider. Okay, so then do I have my full movement speed then? Yeah, that's kind of what I was getting at. I think if you just like release and fall down onto the ground, I would say like release, it would be like a bonus action. So yeah, I would imagine you'd still have your full move. Then I'd like to skitter back up to the ceiling, please. Ha ha ha!

You're gonna keep doing this as like a wrestler? You're gonna keep dropping elbows from the top rope? Just a little sneak attack and then bye! Yeah. Okay. Have fun, everybody. I'm back up to the ceiling. Oh, gosh. But if you do that, I will say, though... Oh, would that be a disengage? Right. You don't have a disengage action. Sleek would be able to get an attack of opportunity anytime. That's a good call. Then I'll stay here.

It's almost like the people who wrote these rules anticipated this kind of thing. Right, right, right. Could I make one clarification of where Mud is? I want to have bit him from behind. Okay. Nice. The booty? Yeah, I bit his butt. Specifically, I bit his butt. Nice. Not a call to action. That's just where the bite went, okay? Nice fleshy target. Yeah. All right. Well, it's going to be my turn next. I've got a couple of instruments. The viola. Oh, man.

- Oh man, it's gonna move in the direction of Bart, but it's not gonna be able to get close enough to attack. The violin that was attacking Bart is still in the cloud of daggers. It takes another eight points of damage and the violin flies into splinters. It's no longer moving. - Yay! - We beat the instrument. Yay!

And those of you in the loft, I guess everyone but Bart, you can see Sleek react like with a pained expression as the violin is destroyed. Oh, he's pained. Interesting. Gum Gum, your turn. How far from the edge is Sleek? Like mentally? Sleek was kind of in the corner, so as pretty much as far from the edge as possible, probably 15, 20 feet if I had to guess. Okay. Okay.

I guess I'm going to go after him again. Is he playing an instrument right now? He has the lute in his hand and then the sword. I have a question. If I was to like grapple him, could I use the handcuffs to handcuff him? I think you wouldn't be able to do both of those in one round because there's like just two distinct actions. So you could grapple him this round and then manacle him next round. Or someone else could grapple him. And if it was grappled, then you could use your action to manacle him.

But can I just try and manacle him without grappling him? I think that would be really difficult. Just to slap handcuffs on him randomly? Yeah, you have to have someone restrained before you try to do that. Gotcha. You know how cops just throw the manacles at people. Yeah.

Hold, criminal! Please put these on for me. I'm just going to try and do as much damage as possible and just go... That's grunt and yell and attack. Do it! Grunt and yell and attack. Do it!

Oh, no. 11. Salik chuckles as he easily steps aside from your great axe attack. You son of a... But he taunted, so then that means, you know, by your rules, Gum-Gum gets another round. Well, if Gum-Gum has a spell to move his initiative, he's more than welcome to. All right, Gum-Gum, now's your time. Now's your time. Where's that magic? Go ahead, Gum-Gum.

Don't. You know that's a sensitive subject, right? Gum Gum gets a tear in his eye. This boss battle is going great. It's going great. Is that it for you, Gum Gum, or are you doing anything else? I mean, I don't know. What else can I do? Spit on him. Yeah, yeah. I'll do that.

You spit on him? I'll spit on him. Stop. No, don't. That's an insult. Okay. You're close enough. You're within spitting distance. Where? Like on his chest or his face or what are you trying to do? I try to spit in this guitar thing, his lute. Oh, you spit on his lute? Yeah. Yeah.

Gum Gum tries to spit on Sleek's loot. We'll say that it connects. Roll for spit. Roll for spit. It gets slippery. His loot gets slippery. I don't like this at all. It's orc spit too. I'm so sorry for everyone's visuals right now. All right. So I'm going to go to the base. Then it's Sleek. Then on deck is Kyborg. Aha! All right. So the base, it was attacking Mud. Well, I guess it can't see Mud anymore because Mud's in the loft. Bart is on the,

It saw the Viola move in that direction. So it's also going to turn and move in the direction of the ladder, but it doesn't have enough movement to get all the way there. So now it's Sleek's turn. I think I heard Sleek say he wants to take a nap. I heard that too. It's Nani's time. Oh, and mud's around him too. That's right. Come at me, bro. Come at me. Close that distance, boys. Come at me.

Wouldn't it be funny if all of our characters died via instruments? The instrument of our death? Like, that's just how we go. That would make me quite upset. It would be especially great for Bart. Yeah. All right. He's going to take a swing with his tuning sword at Gum-Gum for spitting on his loot. That's a 14. Does that hit you, Gum-Gum? Come on, Gum-Gum. With my minus one, I have 14. So that's... Oh, that's a hit. That's a hit? Yeah. Dang it.

The tuning sword connects doing seven points of damage on Gum-Gum, and you have to make a strength saving throw. You passed the last two. Keep it going, my dude. Gum-Gum's pretty strong. Yep. He makes it, though. And I have advantage on strength saving throws, so I can even roll again. Oh, really? That's cool. Because I'm raging. You

You don't even need it because Gum-Gum's strong. You feel like the sword's wanting to push you back, but it fails to again. Sleek looks very frustrated, still like he's turning red, angry with you. So he goes ahead and takes another swing with the Tuning Sword at Gum-Gum. 14 again, which we know hits, doing eight points of damage. And again, you have to make a strength saving throw.

How is Gum Gum doing on HP at this point? Gum Gum's strong. He's down to 18. And another string saving throw? All right. That's good. You've taken, like, what, four hits from the sword now? 14. And that's without much advantage. You're good, yeah. You managed to steal yourself and maintain your ground. Great going, Gum Gum. Kyborg, what do you want to do? Ha ha! I, uh, you know, the usual. Bring out the longbow of triumph. Take a shot!

- What? - Take a shot. - Good old one hit wonder kyborg. - 21. - 21, that connects. - Yeah, it does. All right, let's roll for damage. - Don't do better sting damage, I'm here. - Nine. - Kyborg's arrow glides across the loft and plunges deep into Sleep's shoulder. - Question, how is Sleep looking right now? - You know, like I said before, he looks tired, kind of maybe a little disheveled. He's got bags under his eyes. He's a little bloodied, but he still looks pretty healthy.

Action surge. I'm going to take another one. Is there any chance that we actually have to take down the instruments since that last one that went down hurt him? Hurt him. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Maybe it'll like break some type of spell that it has on him. Perhaps. Are there any instruments up there? Are they all downstairs? They're all downstairs.

You could move, couldn't you? Like to the edge of the loft? I could, but I feel like I'm dealing a pretty decent amount of damage against Sleek up here, though. I mean, are there any within eyeline? Or like what would be the shortest movement that I'd have to make to see them? Let's see. There were like two at the base of the ladder and then one that's in the cloud of daggers. Theoretically, I have a higher, I'm up higher and I'm sure I have like a,

I have high ground, Anakin. From where you are, you really can't see any. You'd have to get over to the... Oh, and they're going to the ladder. So they're under the loft. No, at this point, if they started moving to the ladder, you can't see them because they're obstructed by the floor beneath you.

And I don't have any more arcane shots for a Seeking Arrow. Okay. I'm going to take another. I'm going to take an action surge. I'm going to take another shot at Sleek. Okay. That is a 27. That connects. The hits keep on coming from Kyborg. 10 points of damage. 10's good. Kyborg releases another arrow, and it drills into Sleek's physique. Nice, consistent damage output from Kyborg. Thank you. Thank you. All right. I got the Cello next, and then Bart, you're on deck. Just FYI.

Oh my god. I'm so scared of this cello. Well, this was one of the cellos that was attacking you previously that was in the cloud of daggers. And now it's starting its turn still in the cloud of daggers. So it takes another eight points of damage and it also splinters and falls apart, breaking into many different pieces. Oh, hell yeah. I'm a huge fan of Bart. As the cello gets ripped apart, you see Sleek kind of stumble a little bit and step backwards, visibly hurt.

Yeah. Okay. Bart, it's your turn. How many instruments are left? There are two left. There's a viola and a bass. They're close to you. They're not within melee attack range because they've been trying to close the distance to the ladder. Okay. They're not too far away. I'll tell you what, Bart, go ahead and roll me a perception check.

Excellent. 21. Okay. A good roll for once. So what are you thinking about doing? Are you going to stay down here? Are you going to go up the ladder? I kind of want to finish off these instruments. Do it. I kind of like what's happening here with each of them hurting him as they die. Yeah. Yeah.

You perceive that that is probably a good idea. Excellent. Oh, I see what you did. Roll a perception check so I can help you. Could I... Is it possible to move closer so I'm in range of melee attacking? Yeah, you could definitely do that. You were not very far up the ladder, and there are only like...

like 10 or 15 feet away. So you have enough movement to get over there and close distance to them. Okay, let's do that. And I have a long sword I guess I could use for the first time. Are you out of like spell slots? No, I'm not. But I don't have a lot of like damaging spells in my first level. Other than Dissonant Whispers, which is just like psychic damage, I think. Do instruments take psychic damage? No.

Don't know. Micah says this sounds very piratey of you. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to use my longsword. Do it. So I attack. There's a Viola and a base. They're both equidistant. You can pick whichever one you want. As far as you know, neither of them have been damaged so far. Okay, let's take on that Viola. All right. Cut them strings. Dang it.

Ooh, that's an eight. Unfortunately, that does not hit. Bart, you've gotten a little out of practice using your longsword. It's a little heavier than you remember, so you're not able to strike through. -Kyborg makes a mental note to exercise Bart more during their off times. -You can't see this. It's under the floor. -He senses it. He's in perfect sync with his team. -I guess that's all I could do. -Okay, that's it for little party boy? -Yeah.

Okay. But now I'm right next to the Viola and I hate it. Mud, you're up. Okay. I'm going to go with another bonus action and get me some really good HP because this time I'm rolling five. Thank you very much. Half a point. Five. Point five. I will take five just in case we're not close. Yeah, I'm going to go with another bite because that felt good. It felt good to bite him.

And so we're going to roll for attack, and it's going to be awesome. We're going to roll for attack again. Rolled a four. So that's a nine. That's no good. I'm going to use inspiration on that one because I do want to hit him. Okay. I do want to at least make some. It works out. Yeah, that's a 17. Oh, yeah. You definitely managed to make contact with sleek. Huzzah. Rolling for damage first.

That's nine piercing damage. Nine piercing damage. I went with the left cheek last time. I'm going with the right cheek this time. I'm going to have to take care of this viola at some point. Did you have some other damage? Roll your DC 11 constitution. Oh, that's it. That's what it is. 19. Okay. And you will take half damage of... That's a D100. That's incorrect. Not that one. Yep. Two D100s.

That is 14, so you take 7. Spider Mud sinks his fangs into Sleek's right buttock and injects noxious venom into his dwarven hide. That's good. Good job, Spider Mud. Yeah. That's really good. You're doing it. I've bit him twice.

Is that it for you, Mud? That's it for me. Okay, so Bart has closed back in the distance, so the Viola has a target to attack, so it's going to go ahead and use its bow to take a swing at Bart, who's the only target available to it. 12 plus 3, 15. That's what my armor class is. Oh, so that hits. So that is some slashing damage for Barty Boy. Five points of damage. Okay. Okay.

Not feeling good, Mr. Stark. Bart going toe-to-toe with some melee action, some melee combat. Gum-Gum. Okay, so where are the instruments? You're up in the loft, and then down the ladder on the bottom is where Bart is engaging with the two remaining instruments.

Could Gum Gum do the thing in Underworld and he just takes his axe and carves a circle around him and then falls down a floor? That's cool. Gum Gum is angry, but he hears Bart getting hurt, so he rages again. Can I do that?

What do you mean? Aren't you still ragey? Yeah. So this kind of goes back to what we were talking about with Mud earlier. Because those are both bonus actions. Ending your rage is a bonus action. Going into a rage is a bonus action. So it's like you only get one bonus action per turn. My question would be...

Can you be in more than one rage? Does it stack? Yeah. Can I stack? Okay. No. So he's still in rage, right? Yeah, I'm still in rage, so I can't do it again. Yeah, then go. Keep raging and go get our little man. What were you trying to do? Double rage? Yeah. So I can get my rage randomizer.

Well, you could drop it and then rage again next turn, but you wouldn't be raging this turn. Right. Mr. Rageaholic. I guess I will stop raging then. That's my bonus action. And then run down. Hey, as an idea, why don't you stop raging after you just do your attack right now? That's a good idea. Gum Gum's going to do his attack and he's going to do his breathing exercises. Yeah. So I guess I'll run. Can I get to the instrument from where I'm at? Yes.

Yes, but only because they're already close to the ladder. You're barely able to get there. Okay. Then I want to run and swing my greataxe at whichever one I can get to. You have two options. There's the viola and a bass book down there within reach. Well, I'm attacking the bass. Okay. Drop the bass. Womp, womp, womp, womp, womp, womp.

I rolled a three. Gum Gum charges after the bass and hurls his greataxe toward the instrument, but it doesn't seem to resonate. It goes wide, missing his low tone target. How am I roll so bad? Have you failed on three greataxe attacks right now? I don't... A lot. That's a lot for you because then you have a plus seven.

I know. I just keep getting really bad rolls. Now, Gus, is the viola the instrument viola or did Viola Davis tweet at us at hashtag stinky dragon? Yeah, she did. She's a big fan. Oh, sweet. Hey, Viola. Love your work. Yeah. I guess I'll end my rage and get between Bart and the instrument and look pitiful.

Don't add that little addendum. So the base that GumGum tried to attack is going to try to counter attack on GumGum here. What is that? A 12, I believe? Let me double check. That's a miss, right? That's a 12. That's a miss. Okay. So it tries to attack and misses. What a great fortune.

It's Sleek's turn. Gum Gum is not in front of Sleek anymore. However, Bud is. Rawr. All right. Sleek is going to turn and make an attack on...

on Mud with the Tuning Sword. Could I... Could Kyborg say, Sleek, more like Geek? Yeah. To kind of distract him? Sure. He rolled a crappy roll, though. Yeah, it's not a great roll. Well, then it stands. It stands. Sorry, Gus. Those are the rules. Two hit is 12, which I assume is a miss on Mud. He misses, and then I boop him on one of his nose with my arms. Got him. Boop him. Just a little boop missed.

And then under his breath, you hear him mutter. And then in a flash, he runs really quickly and is now standing up next to Kyborg. Ah, hell. Oh, no. Yoo-hoo! Big summer blowout. Kyborg, it's your turn. Sleek is now right up in your grill. Oh, my God. Yes, he is. All right.

The perfect position for any archer. Right. I can make a movement and then attack, yeah? I can back away from him and keep my eyes on him. If you back away, then Sleek does get an attack of opportunity. Come on, man.

All right, well, he's right there in my grill. I'm going to do a point-blank longbow triumph shot right in his nose hole. I mean, it's not a called shot, but you know what I mean. It's the thing where, like, Legolas pulls the arrow out and just literally stabs the orc. That's, like, that thing. Yeah, basically. I think you roll at disadvantage if you're at point-blank. I'm not point-blank. You know, it's a normal shot. Come on. No, I mean, like, because he is that close to you. It is point-blank. He is right next to you. I'm not saying that because you used the term point-blank. It is because...

In general, you're like, you can't hit. It's much more difficult to hit someone that close to you. Then I rolled a 24 and a 21. So yeah, you still managed to hit. Kyborg's still proficient enough with that bow. Yeah, yeah. I'm the best. I'm the best there ever was. Certainly better than Gum Gum. And that was a nine. Nine. Any other damage on that? You're starting to feather Sleek a bit. He's got a few arrows that have hit him.

Just pepper him. I got nothing else in terms of that stuff. Spit on him.

Dude, the last time you spit on him, he got all upset. And now I'm taking the heat because you spit on him. You called him a geek. Don't blame that on mud. Yeah, I'm trying to help mud out, and then he annoys Zoomies over to me like a happy dog. Spit on him. Spit on him. I look at the ground, and I just kind of like, I'm going to spit on you. Okay.

I kinda just like I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit. I spit.

And I had milk right before this battle, so it's really... Yuck. That's how Kyborg always preps for every battle. Big glass of milk. Strong bones. All right. Anything else, Kyborg? Or are you done insulting this person who's kicking all your asses? I'm holding up pretty okay. I just hawked a big loogie on this guy. That's, you know...

I'm good. But I can't move, though, because he's going to have an attack of opportunity. Correct. Correct. Am I near a ledge or anything like that? You're probably 15 feet from the ledge. Would I take fall damage if I jumped down to the level below? You'd take an attack of opportunity, though, if you disengage. Right, but would I take fall damage, though? 15 feet? Probably not. I'd say probably not. There's two instruments downstairs, yeah? Yes. Okay, I make the jump. I go for it. Okay, well... This is for the glory of my team.

So you spit on Sleek and start running, but he gets to make an attack of opportunity. He swings at you with his tuning sword. Gets a 26, which is a hit. Doing... Come on. Just tell me. Come on. I'm rolling it. 11 points of damage. Okay, I can take that.

So you jumped down. Are you going to do something? I shot him point blank. I spit on his loot, and then I went backwards and then rolled over the ledge to go downstairs to then start my attacks against the rest of the instruments and to distance myself from a sleek. Oh. It seemed like the most strategic move to make at that time, and I think that the hit was worth it. Okay. Okay.

Am I wrong? I don't think there is a right answer right now. We're all just trying to not die. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's what I do, and I'm sticking by it. Okay. Mud, you're near sleek still. I'm just trying to get everyone's in my head. Kyborg has jumped down to the lower level. Bart and Gum-Gum are close to each other by the bottom of the ladder, attacking the remaining instruments. You hear him mutter and moving his arms in a strange fashion. Enough. Enough.

It's time to finish this. And you see an emerald wave as wide as the room emerges from the southern wall, slowly moving north across the room. Bart, it's your turn. It's Bart and then Mud after. I guess I'll try to swing at this guy again. The Viola. Okay. Hi-ya. 16? That hits. Yes. Okay. Okay, seven points of damage.

Okay, yeah. Your longsword connects, doing seven points of damage to the viola. Viola? Viola. I don't remember how to say it. Toward the instrument that's in front of you. Is it still not down, the viola? Viola? No. Okay. This is the first time it's taken damage. Itch.

Yeah, I'm going to move away from it, but I don't want to go towards the wall. If you move away, it will get an attack of opportunity. Okay. Could I use my mage hand to pick it up and move it away from me? That's another spell. Yeah. Okay. Well, in that case, I'm going to drink the last of my potion of healing. Okay.

I just heard a real life glass. Yeah, there's a dink somewhere. Very immersive. That was my mug. I have a cup of coffee. Nice. 2d4 plus two. Big roll, big roll. You need some help. Oh my God. Could I re-roll that if there was? Welcome to the club. Welcome to the club.

So four points of damage, the minimum possible. Healing, four points of healing. Four points of healing, sorry. From my perspective, it's all damage. Turns out this potion of healing had spilled in my pocket a little bit, so there was just a little droplet. Just licking the rim. Oh, heck. Now it looks like I peed myself. A llama, he's supposed to be dead. All right, mud. Could mud reach an instrument like the viola?

Yeah, Gum Gum was able to, so I'd say you'd be able to as well because you all were right by each other. Okay. I feel like I'm on team get all the instruments gone before this emerald wall approaches us and see if that helps. So I go down and I...

bite that viola. Okay. And I'm going to... Crouch, crouch, crouch. Oh, come on! It was at 19 and it rolled over to a 3. So that's only an 8. Boys, boys, boys. Unfortunately, that's not quite good enough. Shocker, I know. Oh, man. You sure about that?

You got anything else you can do, Mud, or is that it? That's it. That's it. This has been such a bummer of a fight. We're having a time right now. Yeah. We're all just gathered around this viola right now. Yeah.

I feel so bad for Bart and Mud. Well, it's the Viola's turn to attack. It's weird because my kyborg's back kind of hurts a little. It's almost like you're a ranged person who will almost always take the least amount of damage. It's like I'm carrying the

I don't... Yeah, what healing have you done for us and stuff? What damage have you taken? What damage have you taken so that people don't take damage? Bro, I called him off of you because he was all up in your girl, and then I took...

Oh, don't even start with me, John. This is what happens when we start to get hurt, is we start to turn on each other. The party turns. There's no cohesion. The Viola goes to attack Bart. Great. Slashes at Bart, see if it hits. Viola Davis, no. Oh, it rolls a one. It misses. Thank God. Gum-Gum, you're up. Gum-Gum, after calming himself, sees that he's attacking Bart and rages. Gum-Gum.

The literal rollercoaster of emotions. So I'll roll my rage thing. I got a three. An intangible spirit, which looks like a pixie, appears within five feet of one creature of your choice that you see within 30 feet of you.

At the end of the current turn, it explodes and each creature within five feet of it must succeed on a dex saving throw or take 1d6 force damage. Until your rage ends, you can use this effect again, summoning another spirit on each of your turns as a bonus action. Oh, cool. It's a little pixie grenade. So right in front of me, there's the two instruments. Yes. And are they near each other? Yeah. Could I position this pixie so that it would hit both the instruments but not Bart? Sure, absolutely. Just the edge of the five. Nice. You're going to edge them.

And which of the two instruments? Bass and viola, I believe. Correct. The viola looks a little beaten up. The bass still looks pristine.

I will put it next to the base. I think it's an AOE, so you want to hit both, right? Yeah, correct. I'll hit it next to the base. Now, I guess I'll attack the... Jeez, which one should I attack? Both? You can't. Oh, he means with his great axe attack. Oh, okay. I could use two hand axes. I don't think you can attack two different opponents, though. Can you, Gus? Could I? Yeah, you should be able to attack two different ones if you do want to. But like I said, don't forget, the Viola already looks like it's been damaged, and the base looks pristine.

What do y'all think? Should I attack the pristine one or try to take out the other one? I think GumGum needs to follow his heart. I'm gonna attack the strong one, the base. I'm attacking the base with my greataxe. And I'm recklessly attacking it. Chris, do you do it any other way? All right, go ahead and make that attack. Which was good because my first roll was crappy and I got a 16. 16. Am I not seeing your rolls? He rolled an 11 and a 16. I see a 16.

Weird, I'm not seeing him for some reason. Oh, weird. He actually did 35 points of damage. Go ahead and roll some damage. Seven. Seven points of damage on the face. Okay. It's still up. And then that thing explodes. My pixie. Okay. Yeah. Then the pixie goes off and they need to make dexterity saving throws. They don't have fingers, so they can't.

My thing's not showing rolls. I'm going to roll a die right here on my desk. Because it knows you're being too evil to us. Evil. Four. All right. So that fails. So then they both take, what did we say? One D6 force damage. So go ahead and roll the D6. Two.

So your pixie explodes for two points of damage, damaging both instruments, and they both shatter. Yes! Breaking, falling apart. Yes! Now that's a sore back right there. Oh, this team's a jolly good job. This team must be heavy, Gaeborg. But I'm lifting it. Yay!

All of us down here are lifting it. So the instruments shatter and Sleek falls asleep. Just for clarification, everyone's on the ground, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You hear like some strange noises upstairs, like something jostling around. Then you hear footsteps above you. And down the stairs, you see a cloaked woman with deep black eyes and a bewitching pale face climb down.

I know that is. Paralite offers you a haunting smile and politely claps. Well done, interns. You've defeated Sleek the simpleton, but playtime is over, and I'll be taking that loot now. No! Eight shadowy figures in cloaks come down the ladder behind her, flanking.

This ladder's getting a bit crowded. It's so awkward. This is less than ideal, like, geography for the scene to happen. Excuse me, excuse me. Should have happened upstairs, but oh well. It doesn't help that Mud's also still a giant spider and just creating, like, way too much of a crowded space. Paralite eyes the spit on the loot and gives you guys a mean look. Yeah.

Evergards, prepare to fire at the interns. Oh, that's not good. I don't think you should do that. She raises her hand and eight crossbows take aim at you. I raise my arrow up at them. But does the really good Paralite impression and says, no, don't do that. You should aim it at the other Paralite. Paralite smiles, lowers her hand and says, fire. Fire.

A flurry of crossbow bolts fly at you guys. Let's see if my rolling thing is working. No, don't. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Save game and exit. Save game and exit. Mom's calling for dinner. Escape. Escape. A 20. Sorry, I don't see that. I don't see it either. I actually don't see it. Could you roll it again? Could you roll it again? Paralite narrows her eyes and looks over at one of the Evergards. You there.

I said fire. The cloaked person nods their head. A beam of crackling energy fires from their hand, just missing Paralite's head. The Everguard lowers their hood, revealing blue spiky hair and the smug face of Brink Tussler. Brink! He's here to save us!

I'm afraid our little deal is off, para-lightweight. Make any sudden moves and the next shot's going straight into that pretty little skull of yours. Brink don't miss twice. Mud does the little yit again. Oh no, it's the great and powerful Brink Tussler. Whatever shall I do?

Oh, that's right. Paralite snaps her fingers and a flying snake appears in her hand. What? I'll just squish your pet snake here. No, no, no. Paralite's grip begins to tighten on the serpent. No, wait! Leave Hannibal out of this! You win.

I surrender. Brink drops the crossbow to the floor and raises his hands. Paralite says, Sorry, I'm not taking any prisoners today. Her hand begins to glow and spark as she aims it directly at Brink's head. Any last words, traitor? Brink looks at the snake with voiced eyes. Hannibal, be a good boy.

Invite! The snake sinks its fangs into Paralite's hand as she wails in pain. She thrusts the snake into a nearby wall and it smacks and it falls to the ground with a thud. No! Ah, you snake-hating witch! Brink pulls out a knife and lunges for Paralite, but with a swift countermove, she plunges his own knife into his heart. Go! Brink collapses to the ground, blood oozing from his chest. So much for your surprise attack. Did you really think you could defeat me by yourself?

Brink coughs up blood and smirks. You're right. I can't take you on by myself. But that was never really the plan, was it? Brink weakly winks at Kyborg and suddenly the Evergards all keel over with laughter, dropping their crossbows. One of the backdoors flies open and a blue spiky-haired elf dives into the room. It's another Brink tussler? What? What? He fires a blast of energy at Paralyte and makes his way over to you. You guys gotta get out of here!

Mud shoots a web at the flying snake and pulls it towards them. Yeah, I got Hannibal.

Can I pick up one of the Brink Tusslers? One of the Brink Tusslers. There's one that is a hologram that is dying on the floor with blood, and then there's one, the real one, behind us. Do we know that it's a hologram, or was it like a time thing? I think some of us do. Gum Gum might not. Yeah, Gum Gum's probably very confused right now. Yeah, he is. I think he wants to save the one that got stabbed. Okay. And run out.

Hurry, you gotta go. Take Slick and go to the portal. Okay. Can I run up to Brink and have a quick word? I need to, I can't. I gotta get something off my chest. Brink, Brink, I'm so sorry. I was wrong about you all along. Here, have this. It's my bofa. What's a bofa? Bofa deez nuts, Brink Dussler. Ah!

Can Mud grab Sleek as well? Yes. Okay. I got eight arms. Hurry! The portal is right out here! Let's go. Let's go. Let's call. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Okay. Bart starts making a break for it and tries to grab Gum-Gum's hand. Gum-Gum accepts. Kyborg, are you happy with that burn? You're going to make your way to the portal as well? Yeah, but I'm like, oh, seriously, Brick, that was really cool of you, bro. I'll see you on the other side, hopefully, and then I run from it.

Y'all make your way through the portal and Sordo floats behind you, but before he can make it, a bolt flies into his sphere and knocks it into the ground. Sordo! The portal closes up. No! You're my second best friend.

Brink number two gets knocked to the ground by the Evergards who no longer appear laughing. They seize Sordo and both Brinks and drag them before Paralyte. Sordo says, Ha, looks like your plan failed, Paralyte. Urbloom is safe and another Infinite is back at Boulderay with Dr. Ahim and the interns. Paralyte starts laughing and the Evergards join her with cackling and sniggers of their own.

Am I missing something here? What's so funny? Perilite smiles and says, Oh, you think Dr. Ahem opened that portal? Uh-oh. That's not good. Tune in next time to find out who opened the portal and where it leads. No! I want to know now. We're in hell. We're in hell. It's called The Little Cliffhanger. Bart's adoptive father. We're all on pirate ship sailing out to the sea.

- I'm sailing out to sea, have a nice time. - Drinking mojitos. - Yeah. - He's getting smoked, he'll be back soon. - Oh God. - That brings a close to the Deja Urbloom arc. Next time we're back, it's gonna be the beginning of a new arc and we'll find out what's happening with the interns. So congratulations on your second infinite encounter interns. You all have made your way through sleek

and Urbloom. Wow. Wow. That was a lot. That was a lot. Yeah. Goodness. I'm stressed out. Do you want to tell people what our next episode is going to be about? Yeah, we're going to have a recap of the arc so far. We're going to go over what you guys got when you leveled up and what's going on with your characters. Maybe talk a little bit of backstory. We're going to do some Q&A with the community. We've got some questions that we're going to ask you guys and answer. So maybe frequently asked questions that people wonder about the story, about what's going on so far. And we'll

We'll answer them. So it's going to be kind of a midpoint, and then we'll get back to the story and see where we go from there. Yeah. And it'd be a great time to share this podcast with all your friends, especially friends who play D&D on Reddit or...

You know, all that. Yeah. I think these are good points for people to get into the story. Like if they want to listen to everything that we've done so far, it's a good way for them to listen, get caught up on a recap, and then just get started from there. Spreading it word of mouth, like Chris was saying, that's definitely the best way to help out a podcast. That's how podcasts really spread around. Absolutely the best thing you can do. Word of mouth or word of computers and social media. Yep, that's the phrase. Word of computers.

Word of computers. 0011010111. She's one of them. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back with that other episode we're talking about here real soon.