C01 - Ep. 22 - Deja Ürbloom - Eleventh Hour at the Tower
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This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

This is a Rooster Teeth production.

Goon Morgan, my Animated In Animates. Reveal yourself in the Stinky Dragon. Try our brand new beverage, the Corkscrew Driver. It's a layered cocktail with OJ and vodka on top and a peach-flavored corkscrew hiding somewhere on the bottom. A few sips of this spiked drink and you'll find a twisted sense of humor in no time. Previously, our adventurers hoodwinked their way into the login mill to retrieve some equipment for Meld Manor.

They encountered Bewitched Buzzsawz, a Swampy Latrine, and an Entranced Elf, but managed to collect their items and rebuild the Recapitulator. They finally cranked the device, but when will they end up, and can they save Urbloom before it's too late? Let's find out. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. It's us, the Stinky Dragon crew. What's our name? SDC. SDC.

Stinky dragon SDC? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought we would have like the turds, the doo-doos, you know? Sorry, explain what you're talking about, Blaine? Like the plural version of the stinky dragons. The doo-doos, yeah. The droplets. The stinks. Ew. Yeah. Do you think the stinky dragon has like a bowel movement problem?

I know. What else would it be? You've seen the picture design. He's got stink lines coming out of his butt. I figured it was like a body odor thing. No, it's coming off his tail. I think it's body odors. I don't think that's funny. I think he made boom boom. I think he made boom boom.

Our listeners are called the stanks. That's what I'm calling them from now on. No, they're little stinkies. I like little stinkies. Dragon pellets. Uh-oh, stinkies. Raindrops slow down to a halt midair. The music and bells hush until the only sound left is the ticking of the recapitulator.

Then, as before, the rain and music slowly pick up speed and your surroundings start blurring by you in reverse. In no time, the rain soars back up into the gloomy gray skies and the clouds themselves rapidly roll back to reveal a blazing sun. The emerald wall reverses its previous path across the city and townspeople unfreeze and blurrily backpedal across the distance. Finally, your surroundings slow down and come back into focus. The hourglass stops ticking and without warning, fades into thin air.

Everyone go ahead and roll perception checks just for fun. Let's have fun. Okay, I normally roll these not for fun. Eight. I got a 24. Nine. 19. Bart, have you ever gotten below like a 20 on a perception check? I'm just curious. I'm very perceptive. I've got my little Bart eyes.

What do you see with your halfling eyes? My little halfling bard. I'm really jealous how much attention you give to Bart because Bart and I have the same perception buff, but you really like Bart's perception better than mine. I just roll better. Well, Bart rolled a 24 and you rolled a 19. I'm aware of that, but I roll a lot of really good ones. I re-listened to a lot of episodes recently and you really call out Bart and you don't ever call mine out. I just really don't appreciate it. Dad likes me more. Yeah.

Mud has a plus seven and you still ended up at 19. I'm aware of what I rolled right now. I'm talking about the breadth of this work. I'm talking about the breadth of this work.

All right. So I got some jealous little children. I also want to point out that we just leveled up to level four and like I had the opportunity to make myself not crap at a lot of roles, but I'm just pumping it all into dexterity and strength. Of course. I'll never be anything but strong and dexterous. In true cyborg fashion. We're going to go ahead and craft a special magic item just for Bart, the blue ribbon for perception check. Yay! Let's just like dig that knife deeper and deeper. Yeah.

Now I don't care anymore. Now that you're like, you're like doing that kind of stuff. Like, okay, I'm over it now. It sounds like you do though. It worked. My plan works. All right. Well, we'll start with, we'll start with the dum-dums first. Kyborg and Gum-Gum was an eight and a nine. Judging by the position of the sun, it's clearly morning time and you're still standing in the wooden elf district. Cool.

Bart and the Mighty Mud, however, notice so much more. From here, it appears the whole city is back to normal, unfrozen in time. If you had to guess, it would seem you've gone back in time about 24 hours or so. And in the distance, you spot a people gathering in the Glockensquare, and suddenly you see your past intern selves pop into existence in the courtyard as well. Wow, what a handsome gentleman over there. So, all right, so we have, we're now...

Back to where we started our mission. But I guess the good thing is that now we have all the information we needed. I don't know what information we have, but I'm saying we got to be a little smarter, right? Let's go ask them. They look like they know what they're doing. What happens when we do that? I imagine we can't talk to our former selves. Otherwise, the space-time continuum will just ripple into infinity. Are we dealing with back-to-the-future rules, Terminator rules? What's going on here? Yeah.

Just whatever you do, don't touch any butterflies. We should go find that little music player, right? He hasn't started his song yet. Bert's right here. The little music player. All right. It's the second little music person. But that one's over there, and it's Bert, too. Mud does remember the information that you've learned over the past couple of episodes. What was his name? His name is...

What is the name of the villain we've been pursuing this entire time? He's voiced by Ben, so we could just call him Ben. No, it's not how it works. His name, is it Sleek? Yes! Sleek. Sleek. The Sleek the Symphonious. Yes, it is. They even got the title right. I was waiting to see if anybody said it.

He played that song and made the plants all move and that green wall and all that stuff. Yeah, Wonderwall. Wonderwall. Do you remember where Sleek was when he performed his music? He was up in the Glockentower. Wow, look at that. Yeah. I'm sure Micah must be smiling somewhere to know that, uh,

All of his wonderful writing is paying off. See, the thing that's going to happen now is now I just want to one-up John in terms of my knowledge of this story and everything I do just to dig the knife in deeper. There's nothing like a little intra-party conflict. I'm going to be the best student ever. I mean, you can be the best student ever. I actually welcome you at least knowing these things. So someone in our party knows. I'm like, yay! Yay!

I was going to say, me and Gum-Gum being the idiots of the group project, we benefit from this competition because we could just sit back and watch you duke it out. All right. Well, off in the Glockensquare, you see Oof and you hear him say, Will you look at the time? We better get this show on the sale. Everybody follow me to the Spurline Sail Road. And you see Oof, your past selves, and the crowd start heading southwest out of the courtyard toward the Twilight Bell Tower. Okay. Okay.

So he's taking our former selves there? He's about to start that tour that we did. We'll have to kill him. Why? His head. So we should head to the Glockentower right now, right? Probably.

Okay, I'll do that with a little more confidence. Hey, team, let's head to the Glockentown and see if we can find Sleek. Let's get him, fellas. I'll tell you what, this is your chance, John. Everyone go ahead and roll perception checks again. Okay. There we go. This is going to work out perfectly. Nat 20. 22. 3. I'm lucky, so I could roll again. It didn't work out well. It didn't work out well. Spoiler. Bart's re-rolling. No, it didn't work out well. It's 12.

Oh, you tied Bart. Good job. Yeah, but it only took one roll for me, so it's better. That's true. On average, you're a better roll. So we'll start with Gum Gum. Is this the right tower? Maybe you should stop and ask for directions. You're a little confused about where it is that you're going exactly. Where are we going?

For Mud and for Bart, the tower in front of you appears six stories high with no windows and looks to only have one door that's locked at the bottom. Kyborg, you notice that the four surrounding bell towers are connected to the central tower at the third floor by some stone catwalks, but you don't see any visible means of reaching those catwalks, particularly in broad daylight. And I need to communicate this to my party. To your group. Please do so.

Uh, uh, sorry, guys, we got four towers, and there's one main tower in the middle, and there are catwalks, and I don't know how to get on them. How high are they? How high are the catwalks, Gus? No, let's ask Kyborg. I would imagine the catwalks are in the air. They're catwalks, typically high in the air. What if you turn yourself into a cat?

Mud, turn yourself into a cat and do it. I'll put you on the end of my bow and arrow. I'll shoot you up there. How small? Can I do like the Ant-Man thing? And can I just like ride your arrow up? Is there something small enough I can get to? But a cat. Well, that's not going to work.

Yes, and? I did give a specific number to Kyborg. Oh, what number was it? They're connected on the third floor. They're connected on the third floor, everybody. Third floor would be, what's that, roughly like 20, 25 feet? Yeah, 30 feet or so, something like that. Don't we have a little half-orc lad who can jump that high? 35 feet? Maybe. I think he can jump that horizontally, but not vertically. It just triples his jump. Oh.

Okay. We also, do we have the boon of something that could help jump? Boon of jump? Do we have a boon of jump? I can turn into a spider. And then I'll put you on the arrow? Or we could go up the stairs. No, I'm saying I could climb the goddamn wall as a giant spider. First of all, language. Second of all, let me shoot you with the arrow.

At this point, Brink clears his throat and steps forward. Listen, uh, to be honest, I wasn't convinced that you Chumple Stillskins would actually get this far with your so-called plan. Nice. And since I have some plans of my own, I think it would be best if we...

split ways at this point in time. Good. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Brink, buddy, you've been such a vital part of this team, and we've clearly remembered you've been here the entire time. What plans of your own you got going on? Well, you've exhausted everything I know. We've witnessed my death again, apparently.

But now's my chance to get Hannibal back. Before Brink leaves, I pull Gum-Gum aside for a word, and I ask him if he has the shackles still. Gum-Gum, do you have the shackles? Yeah, I got shackles. Shackle Brink Tussler. Do it. I want to ruin this story element. I don't want Gus to have this. Shackle him to yourself.

I shackled him. Did you turn a little monster while you did it? What happened there? I shackled him. Were you drunk while you did it? I shackled him. All right, make a grapple check with Brink to see if you can grab a hold of him, Gum Gum. Oh, boy. All right, I'm going to make my roll here. You beefed on that one, dude. Four. But this is unmodified. Brink has a plus two on his dexterity, so that's actually a six.

No, you lie. You can see there's no plus on it. I don't have a Brink Tussler character sheet, so I just have to roll a generic d20. So you're just inventing his statistics over and over again? I don't remember what they are exactly off the top of my head here. I have them somewhere, but he's a dexterous character. He has at least a plus one. Brink Tussler has plus 69 health points. You go to put the shackle on Brink's wrist. With the flick of his wrist, he's able to...

evade you clamping the manacles down on him. Oh, Micah just confirmed he has a plus one dexterity, so that's fine. Oh, God, so close. Brink looks at Gum-Gum, then looks at Kyborg and says, I see you around, Rust Bucket. And he turns on his heels and heads out of the courtyard. What the...

Gus is really trying to get Brink away from us because you're not letting it happen. Yeah, well, this is what we're doing. Should we kill Brink, Tussler? Thorn whip. I'm looking it up. Is this a new spell for you? Yeah, I figured out a little while ago and just haven't done it since that I learned that druids actually, every time we do a long rest, I can reset up all my spells.

And so with leveling up to four, I kind of did a little bit of a little house cleaning. And so this is a new cantrip. Oh, it's a cantrip. So you create a long vine-like whip covered in thorns that lashes out at your command toward a creature in range. The range is 30 feet. Make a melee spell attack against the target. If the attack hits, the creature takes 1d6 piercing damage. If the creature is large or smaller, you pull the creature up to 10 feet closer to you. All right. So make a melee spell attack against Brink Tussler.

This could only go well. 24. Oh, damn. He'll be on the brink of death in no time. Nice. Mud isn't prone to catchy little catchphrases, but if Kyborg wants to make a scorpion catchphrase at this point for him, he's okay with that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Get over here! There we go. I appreciate that. Took a second. You lash out with Thorn Whip. You make your melee spell attack against the target. It hits, so go ahead and roll 1d6 piercing damage against Brink Tussler. Two. Aw. Warning fire. Yeah. The point wasn't to hit him, to hurt him. The point was it pulls him back 10 feet. Hmm. Hmm.

Your thorn whip lashes out, wrapping around Brink Tussler, and you pull him ten feet closer to you, doing two points of damage. Ay, chihuahua! As the whip uncoils around him, Brink Tussler steps forward and disappears into a misty fog. I want to shoot an arrow into that fog. You hear a voice ethereally whisper. You watch me whipped. Now watch me misty.

Like the song. No, I want to shoot an arrow. I got a good feeling about today's. Okay. Go ahead. It's going to waste an arrow. 23. Okay. Go ahead and roll damage. Oh, no. Where was he standing? Nine. Your bolt flies through the mist and narrowly misses a shopkeeper on the other end of the square. All eyes turn and look at Kyborg holding the bow. Good morrow, citizen. Good morrow.

I was like, thank God that didn't just kill that man. I almost murdered him. I really thought about letting it connect. Oh, man, that would be unfortunate. Sort of at this point, who's also with you, chimes in. I'm not sure how helpful I can be once we get inside the Glocken Tower, but I could take this time to reach out to Dr. M to get the Emerus gateway ready for us. I could also tail Brink to keep an eye on him. What do you think? I think you should tail Brink.

I give you my blessing, weird automaton. I feel like those are both really valuable things he could do for us. And I don't want to completely discount the other one of him going to Dr. M. I'm more scared of what Brink can do than us being able to figure out how to get to the portal. All right, fair enough, fair enough.

Sort of says I can probably accomplish both contact Dr. M and tail Tesla. You're such a such a good such a good little boy. I know right and yet I always get forgotten even by the dungeon master. Could Bart give sort of like a little like head noogie. You want to get him like under your arm as well. Yeah. Yeah. Go for it. Who's a good boy. Who's a good boy. Thanks for the positive affirmation but

But you know I'm about 400 years old, right? And then he flings him back up. Sort of stealthily floats off into the distance. Kyberg, do you want to shoot an arrow at him too? I was looking at my things, something I could just give him, you know? I have those leather sacks from the last thing if I wanted to make him a small hat. You could give him an arrow. Nah, nah.

No, you had me going there. But no, I'm not going to do that. We didn't have a post-credits sequence where Sordo swore allegiance to the enemy. So I think Sordo's okay. Your character doesn't know that. Stop putting it in the podcast. If you know I listen to the podcast, don't put that in the podcast. I like listening to it.

My favorite part of the, what was it, two episodes ago or episode ago was Blaine trying to do a post-credit sequence but had nothing. It was fantastic. No. Micah kept it in the edit. I appreciated that. The Quadrant Squadron will return. It was great. They're the next big bad.

All right, so we have the catwalk to get up to. That seems to be what we've decided our mission is at this point. You can take your little turn on the catwalk. Oh, can we actually do like sexy walks across the catwalk? If we can get up there, we can do that. If you roll well. We're trying to save ourselves from death. And she's like, how about a fashion show?

You know, Bart, sometimes we just got to have our fun where we can, you know? Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch. Little Kelly Kapoor. Mutt turns into a giant spider and starts climbing the tower. Mutt, can you do me a favor before you turn into a spider? Can you roll me an intelligence check? Mutt's questioning this choice now. Intelligence is not my best one. That's a 15. You remember something, Mutt.

You remember that there is a door at the base of this tower. Right. Okay. Just throwing that out there if you want to try that instead of turning into a spider and climbing three stories up. I think you've learned at this point we just don't like doors, Gus. I know. That's why I made you roll an intelligence check to remind you. All right. Back of my arrow. I will shoot you.

where you need to go. -You are more than-- By the way, you are more than welcome to try to climb up the side of the tower if you want to. I'm just reminding you there is another option. I'm not trying to railroad you into going into the door. If you want to turn into a spider and climb up the tower, you are more than welcome to. I'm just reminding you there is another option. -What if we do a four-prong attack?

One of us goes in the door, one of us climbs up the ladder, and two of us go cats. What are the cats? I'm like, where's heads at? Cat walking. Oh, okay. I'm gonna, I would vote for the door. Unless the whole party wants to try to climb. Because I think, whatever we do, we need to stick together. As a spider, I have a little ability called web. And I can shoot a little web that you guys can climb up.

Is that going to be strong enough to hold us? Aren't you Baby Spider? You're like Baby Spider. No, I have Giant Spider. What? When did that happen? Same time. Yeah, when you were in the tunnel. It wasn't Smarsh. It was Obi. Oh, Smarsh is king. Obi, yeah. Oh, what? Man, okay. This is the most unpredictable power that you have because you can't turn into a cool Oryx, a sexy Oryx, but you can turn into a giant spider? Correct. Correct.

Smarsh is king. Let's just keep going. Smarsh. Would you allow that, Gus, as far as the use of that action web? I would say that it would help them. I wouldn't say it would be an automatic success. It would make the climbing roll a little easier. They would still have to roll to climb, but they would get some bonus to it. We find ourselves at a crossroads here. We could just literally walk up the tower, or we could fart around, waste about 10 minutes of time,

I mean, you know, it's just, it's hard decisions because personally, Kyborg, from a character perspective, I want to climb the tower, but I can also feel Barbara staring daggers into her computer screen. Oh no. Hey, I want to do whatever the group wants to do. I'm a very easygoing little guy. You know what? What if we just end the episode here and then we have our audience vote on it and then we'll come back later. Yeah.

determine how to handle this tower. If we could be held on the spider web and not fall through it, then I'm confident that this will be fun. I also have like a rope that I can just drop down. Just also that's an option. I want to do a situation where I could take two arrowheads and climb the tower, but then be belayed by Spider John so that if I fall, I don't die. But I just want to race. To be clear, it's spider mud.

Spider mud turns into spider mud and climbs up the tower up to the catwalk. Spider mud, spider mud. Yeah. You still have to make a climb check for that, don't you? What are your spider climbing abilities? Spider can climb difficult surfaces including upside down on ceilings without needing to make an ability check. Well, there you go. Spider mud climbs right up there. Yeah. Ain't no problem like a spider problem. Good for you because spider problem does not exist.

Yeah. All right. You all see spider mud? How big of a spider are we talking here? If I was able to ride Smarsh and this spider was able to fight Smarsh, King Smarsh, then it's a pretty big spider. I feel like it's like kaiju levels. The villagers would be freaking out. That's exactly why I'm asking. It's listed as a large beast, which means that the spider is probably 10 feet by 10 feet in size. Good.

So this is like a huge spider. I'm going to remember that. If you're going to give me that size, I'm going to remember that. That's the size. I mean, that's the size in here. You can see it says large beast. But that's mostly legs. That's mostly legs. You know. Tell that to the villagers in the town square. Well, they're going to deal with something even worse if I don't turn into a spider and deal with this sleek thing. Okay.

Actually, wait. Can he just climb on me? Can Bart climb on me? Can I climb? I'm a 10-foot spider. Can I carry someone up the wall? Your strength is 14, which gives you a plus 2. You should be able to carry. Yeah. I don't see why not. So just charter us up there. Okay. I'm going to chauffeur Bart up if Bart's okay riding on the giant spider. Oh, you know I am. I take Bart up to the catwalk. Okay. Yeah. Bart grabs onto you, and you ferry Bart three stories up onto the catwalk.

Do you lads want me to come down and help you or do you want to... Okay. Okay. I can't believe it. Micah had a really hard check for y'all to climb this thing and Mud has completely bypassed it and three rooms. So good job. Yeah.

You all make your way onto the catwalk leading into the Glocken Tower. All right. Bart, lead the way. All right. Well, we got to find Slake. What's on the opposite ends of the catwalks? Is it like doors or something? Yeah, there's a door leading into the Glocken Tower. And then you see in the distance, there's a door leading to the other tower as well. And when we saw Slake, he came out at the Glocken Tower. He didn't like walk across this catwalk. Correct. He was at the top of the Glocken Tower.

Okay, so we should probably go find him in the glockentower. Shall we approach that door that is totally unlocked? Yeah. I rolled a 17 on performance check to see how good of a walk I had on the catwalk. It was a good walk. Pretty good walk.

Can I run and just charge through the door? Yeah, you want to start running and just put your shoulder to the door and try to break it down? Yeah. You don't have a subtle entrance here because we're trying to find someone to take care of? Maybe Bart should try to tell Gum Gum that. Make a... Someone better stop me soon. Athletics check. Quick, Bart, cast sleep.

Hey, I'm not going to dictate what other players do in this game. If you want to stop me, you got to tell me. Hey, Gum Gum, Gum Gum, look over here. Bart pulls out something shiny from his pocket and just kind of wags it around.

Well, look at that. It's shiny. It's nice, right? All right. Focus. Focus up on Bart. Good. All right. We're going to be gentle and calm and quiet. Okay. We don't want to shock anyone. We don't want to make a disturbance quite yet unless we have to. I didn't mean to do that. That was an accident. I didn't mean to roll on athletics. That was an actual, that was a genuinely my hand slipped.

Gum Gum rolled an accidental 15 on the athletics check for some reason. It was an accident. It really was an accident. Okay, so you're not breaking down the door. No, that was an accident. He somehow does just a backflip in front of me. He slams into you. I give Bart a hug. A 15 to hug.

Can Mudd just check to see if the door's unlocked? Yeah, you check, the door is unlocked. Since the climb is so difficult, they probably don't expect anyone to be up here, so they probably don't need to lock it. No one ever expects Spider-Mudd. We completely overcame that climb. Bart, what do you say about turning a little invisible and doing a little reconnaissance?

Not much. I'm sorry, I thought you said gum gum. Oh no, gum gum can't turn invisible even though he puts his hand over his eyes. I can turn it if I try. When I close my eyes, I go invisible. I was just saying, Bart, if you want to with your little stealthiness. Yes, I do. Hey, guess what I'm going to say? You know it. Have you followed us on social media? I have to ask if you could give us a follow on social media at StinkyDragonPod. That does us so many favors. We would owe you, I don't know, a favor?

Please follow us on social media at StinkyDragonPod. We, you know, post art related to the episodes. We try to interact with people who follow us, who listen to the show. And in fact, if you even use hashtag StinkyDragonPod, you might get your name in the show in the future as an NPC at some point. It's happened before. You've heard me mention it. It could be you. Aren't you jealous of those people? I know you are a little bit at least.

And of course, give us a rating on whatever podcast platform you listen to. And more than anything, telling a friend about the show, sharing it on social media, that helps a podcast like crazy, especially us. I would like to cast invisibility and sneak in. Okay. Make a stealth check with advantage. Okay. We got a 25. 25.

And then we got a 22. Damn. Nice. I have a plus eight on my stealth. Well done. Damn, you do. You sneakily enter the room and you see it's a square room with stone floors and wood planked walls. You don't really see any windows or exits in the room. With the exception of where you stand, the floor is completely covered in overlapping rugs and skeletons. Skeletons. There's some very interesting decor.

Overlapping rugs and skeletons? Yes. Could Bart do a perception check to see if he notices anything out of the ordinary? Yeah, go ahead and roll a perception check. Aside from the skeletons that are lingering around. God damn it, a one, rolling it again. It's a good thing you're lucky. You've been having a lot of bad luck with that lately. Yeah. A ten, which I assume gives me nothing. Ten. Yeah, nothing stands out. Like I said, the entire floor, except where you're standing here in the middle, is covered in rugs and skeletons. God, I said skeletons. Skeletons.

Mud also looks around and rolls a 27. It looks to you like there are several cuts and rips in the rugs. Gum Gum wants to pull out his boomba, which is his magic wand. Yeah. And hum.

And feel for magic. To be nice, Mud also cast his magic. I have magic awareness. It's a thing. You do? Yeah. Wait, what is it? Gum Gum doesn't know he has it, but he's doing it. Okay. So you open up your mind to the possibility of magic. What's that do? Open your awareness to the presence of concentrated magic. Until the end of your next turn, you know the location of any spell or magic item within 60 feet of you that isn't behind total cover.

When you sense a spell, you learn what school of magic it belongs to. All right. You all enter the room and Gum-Gum does his magic check. It seems like you can feel magic around you. You're focusing, trying to get a fix on it. And you feel like in the distance somewhere, you feel faint auras of chronomancy, but more immediately around you, you sense enchantment.

Oh, quick question. Is juggling athletics or performance? I would say juggling is more of a dexterous thing, so it would be acrobatics. Okay. All right. Uh,

I juggle three skulls, 23. While everyone's doing their stuff, I'm just entertaining myself with the skulls on the ground from the Skellingtons. So you lean over and just like pick up three skulls? Mm-hmm. And then I start juggling them. As you touch the first of the skulls, you begin to hear disco music resounding around the room.

Of course. All you got to do is be entertaining and then everything happens. All you got to do is be an idiot and grab at the skulls. Exactly. A shiny spinning sphere appears high above the room and it begins flying around, slamming into the walls, slamming into you all. And it says, I'm DJ Boots and Cats. Let's get down tonight. Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats. Kyborg, make a constitution saving throw. All right. Sounds groovy.

18. You feel like you're really feeling the beat, like you want to dance, but you decide against it. DJ Boots and Cats flies about the room and tries to slam into Kyborg, misses, and then disappears. And also the music stops. Guys, I think there's magic everywhere around us. I think so. I think so. I think you're right there, GumGum. I feel it in my bones. Get it? Hey. Nice.

I'm sorry. A lot has happened since you told me what happened with my perception check. You said I noticed rips and tears in the rugs? Yes. Rips and tears in boots and cats. Rips and tears in boots and cats. My favorite heavy metal song. Rips and tears in boots and cats. Rips and tears in boots and cats. Bart just starts shuffle dancing.

All right, make a performance check, Bart. You got it. 15. 15 is some solid dancing. It put me to shame. He does like the little sprinkler. What if we try to trigger boots and cats and the next time he comes out, I shoot him with a web and see if that stops his little game from happening. That might work. Could I give Mud Bart a inspiration? Yeah. Are you buffing me? I'm buffing you.

I feel so good to be buffed by someone else. You're looking buff.

I'm the one slapping butts all the time when no one ever buffs me. So you get a 1d6. 1d6? Damn, yours is even better than mine. Is it just a check or is it to an attack? I think it's to anything. Gains an inspiration die 1d6. For 10 minutes, the creature can add it to one ability check, attack roll, or saving throw. Oh. A little mini inspiration die. Okay. Are we done with that idea to see if that might work? Yeah. I want to see what Boots and Cats is all about. Mm-hmm. Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats.

All right, kyborg, touch that skull again. All right, I touched the skull. All right, kyborg touches the skull. Make me a constitution saving throw, kyborg. 11.

The disco music again begins playing and there's something just super catchy about it, Kaiborg. You can't help yourself. You begin dancing to the music. You have no control over your body. The rhythm is taking control of you. DJ Boots and Cats reappears and you hear him say, Come on, say it with me. Boots and Cats. Boots and Cats. Boots and Cats. Begins flying around. He tries to slam. Wouldn't I have my webbing ready? I've been standing there. If you want to, yeah. I've been waiting for you to jump in. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do webbing, which is...

A attack roll plus five, so I'll just roll a d20. That's only a nine. You're webbing Mrs. Boots and Cats as he flies through the air and you hear him say, "Skeletons hate parties. They have nobody to dance with." Can I try and catch him? You can try after he tries to slam into Kyborg first. Hmm. That's a miss. Ha!

My can't moves are too good. Gum Gum, what do you want to try to do? I want to try and jump up and grab it. Okay, yeah. You're more than welcome to try that. He's pulling a Miley Cyrus right now is what he's doing.

What would I roll? Sorry, Gus. Like a touch attack. Unarmed attack. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's a 25. A 25. That's good. Yeah. You jump up and you manage to grab onto Boots and Cats. What do you want to do? Well, I want to bring it down. It's a big ball, right? Yeah. I mean, you're grabbed onto him. He's still flying around, though. Does he not come down with me? No. No.

So now, wait, so the visual we're watching is Gum-Gum is now holding on to a floating ball and just flying around the room with it? Yeah. Yeah, he's like flying erratically around the room with Gum-Gum hanging off of it. I go, wee! Yeah. And then I drop a rope for someone to grab hold of and pull me. Do you want to grab it with me, Bart? Yes. All right. We both lunge to grab at it. Okay. As y'all are going to grab onto it, Boots and Katz tries to slam into Kyborg one more time. Ha!

What the heck? No, Bootsy Cat's roll's a three, so that's a miss. My dance moves are too good. Yeah, and Kyborg is still literally cutting a rug. Well, maybe not literally. He's figuratively cutting a rug as he's dancing on top of it. And then, so what do you want to do, Bart and Mud? Do you all want to try to grab onto the rope? I guess pull it. Okay, go ahead and make a dexterity check, like an acrobatics check or something, to see if you can grab onto that. That's an 11. Ooh, a 22. Ooh.

You rolled a nat 20. I did. Yes. Except for all those ones. I know. Bart is a man of extremes. He's either one way or the other. Yep. Mud, you're not able to quite grab onto it, but Bart, you are able to grab onto the rope. Okay. It's kind of funny that the spider wasn't able to grab onto the rope. It was weird, right? I mean, you got eight hands. I know. I missed every single one.

Yeah, you don't have opposable thumbs. That's the spider's downfall. That's why they haven't conquered us yet. Yeah, good news. Can I shoot boots and cats? No, you can't do anything but dance. Okay. Boots and cats. Boots and cats. You're a dancing machine. Bart, you're able to do something about the extra weight. I'm not calling Bart fat. I'm just saying something about the extra weight of Bart in addition to Gum Gum starts pulling boots and cats down to the ground. He's dense, not fat.

Just dance. Big boned. Okay, so we pull him down. So Boots and Cats is on the ground near you guys. Okay. Could I stand on him to make sure he doesn't move? Yeah, or can we time down to something? Is there anything to time down to? I mean, there's just rugs and skeletons. I shoot web at him. Which should also be me, but that's cool.

- I shoot web at GumGum and Boots and Cats. - We'll say that Boots and Cats falls onto one of the rugs, kind of close to where Kyborg was trying to pick up a skull. So GumGum, are you still like hanging on onto Boots and Cats or how is that working out? - Yeah, I'm holding them down. Maybe I grab the rug and wrap them up in it. - Make me a constitution saving throw. - 18. - The music sounds really catchy to you and you want to dance, but you fight the urge to, you decide not to.

Gum gum dance was what he wants. And then Bart, were you also going to try to jump on? Yes. Okay. Make me a constitution saving throw as well. 20. Bart. Yeah. That music's really good, but no, no, no. You got to focus. You got to, you got to deal with boots and cats. Bart only dances to his own music. Boots and cats. Boots and cats. But you do see like a little head bob from, from. Yeah. Like, yeah, you can, you can appreciate it. This is good stuff. Did they go to Bart college?

College of Glamour. Mud. Were you shooting a web at it? Yeah. All right. So make a plus five attack roll. It's a 14. 14. Boots and cats, that hits. So the target is restrained by the webbing. So boots and cats is stuck to the ground to that rug. Yeah.

Is Kyborg still dancing through all this? Yeah, Kyborg's still dancing. Nothing else to do. Boots and cats and boots and cats. And so the music is still going? Oh, yeah. Anybody else have any ideas of what to do now? I can't, like, moonwalk and shoot an arrow at the boots and cats? You hear boots and cats say, I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully I turned myself around. Please let me shoot him, please. Should we just try to destroy it? Yeah. Hold on, let me try something here. It seems like boots and cats' weakness...

Might be dad jokes. Or maybe strength. So I whisper down to Boots and Cats, I'm afraid of the calendar. Its days are numbered. Well, you got to chuckle out of the DM. Boots and Cats takes 10 psychic damage. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints. Eh, eh, eh.

We get paid to do this. Boots and Cats does not seem to respond to what you're saying. As you were, Gum Gum. Mud Pat's Bart on the back and says, good try. Are you giving me an inspiration? Yeah, why not? That's a little guidance. You can hold on to that. Gum Gum, were you going to try something? Smash him. Smash him. How are you going to try to smash him? I guess with my...

Greataxe. Okay, yeah, try to attack. Make an attack roll. 26. 26, all right. Roll some damage. Damn, 26. 14. 14. Yeah, you bring your greataxe down, and you manage to carve a chunk out of Boots and Cats, who screams seemingly in pain. Oh, God, I feel bad. And is writhing around, still restrained by Mud's web. Kyborg, make a constitution saving throw.

Boots and cats and boots and cats. It's a nine. Nine. No. You thought you were going to stop dancing for a second? But no, then the beat dropped. Oh, man.

I won't complain. You're loving it. Okay, so we have now just taken a chunk out of Boots and Cats, but nothing has changed. No. What percentage of Boots and Cats has been chunked out? It's hard to say. I don't know. He's real sparkly. It's hard to really get a fix on it. Oh, so he's like a ball and it's glowing too?

Yeah. And sparkly. It's like shiny and spinning around. Well, normally you'd be spinning, but he's restrained right now. So can I cover the rug up so it's dark? He darkens, like wrapped him up in a rug? Yeah. Do you want to try to do that? Sure. Make me a constitution saving throw.

Matt, 23. 23. Okay, yeah. You grab the rug and wrap up Boots and Cats. I assume Bart jumps off as well. I think you had also been trying to hold him down. Yeah, don't get in the way of this. Yeah. So you have Boots and Cats is restrained by a web on a rug, and it's now wrapped up in said rug as well. And nothing has changed. Maybe the music's become a little more muffled. What if we just try this? Hello, Boots and Cats. Hello.

is there a chance that you could stop the music boots and cats never stops okay it's worth a try i tried the diplomatic approach boots and cats wants to get down tonight should we all get on the ground i feel like what if we all just start dancing maybe that's the key i was just thinking it might just be worth it for us to try we all died uh

Mud starts shimmying around with his eight legs. Make a performance check. Okay. Not a strong point, but I got a 14, and I'm going to use the bardic inspiration and get an extra two, so that's a 16.

16 for dancing for mud. Is anybody else dancing besides Kyborg? 16 times eight for every leg, so that's how much I got. That's right. Yes, Bart dances. He does a little pirate shimmy. I'll do it too, but I'm still holding on to him.

That's 11. We got a 25. That's good. Good dance. Also, those of you who are voluntarily dancing, also roll me investigation checks as well. 18. 15. That's really good for Gum Gum. Five. So Bart and Gum Gum, while you all begin dancing, you notice that the skeletons that are laying about the room don't seem to have any legs.

And we didn't notice that before. Maybe it didn't pop into your mind until just now. It's not a realization you had until just now. So it's not something that, like, all of a sudden they have no legs. They've always had no legs. Okay. Correct. They're just upper torsos? Yeah. I already have a prosthetic arm. I don't want prosthetic legs. Should we take them as dancing partners? I was going to say, yeah, maybe pick up the skeleton and dance with them. Do it. Okay. Okay.

Bart finds the closest skeleton and starts doing the waltz with it. Make a constitution saving throw for Bart. I think what he's indicating is that they danced until their legs fell off. Bart rolls a five. The music finally gets to you. You understand why Kyborg can't stop dancing. Crap. And you begin dancing uncontrollably, unable to do anything else. Kyborg, make me another constitution saving throw. Here we go.

Ooh, that's a nat 20 plus three, 23. Now that you see Bart dancing, you decide maybe it's time for you to take a little breather. Okay. Can I pull out my longbow of triumph? Yeah. Is it clear that we're dancing because of this spear in here? Like if it wasn't in here, we wouldn't be dancing. When Kyborg first touched the skeleton and started dancing, that was before the spear was in here. Skellington. Gotcha. Yeah, you can absolutely grab your longbow, Kyborg. Taking a shot at the disco ball. Yeah.

That's a 12. 12. That hits. Oh, jeez. Six. Six. That's exactly what you needed. Oh, wow. Boots and Cat says, Oh, no. This is what I felt like during a week of nonstop rehearsals. The agony of defeat.

With a pop, DJ Boots and Cats explodes spectacularly into fireworks. The rugs and skeletons fade out of existence. The ceiling opens up and a spiral staircase lowers down into the center of the room. And Bart, you finally stop dancing. I stomp on the ashes of Boots and Cats for that really bad joke that he just delivered. It's all comedy gold. It's all classic.

And that was the day the music died. There it is. I was just going to say that the lesson learned from this puzzle is shame on us for not immediately trying to just destroy...

the thing that's in the room with us. Yeah, I mean, we probably should have rolled initiative, but I was really enjoying you all dancing and trying to figure it out. No, it's fine. I like that we didn't have to figure out if we had to kill it or not. Yeah, I think also if we had rolled initiative, it might have tipped you off a little too quickly to attack. Oh, yeah, just attack. Yeah. It's just hearing the attack music like in a video game. Yeah, exactly.

All right. Let's go up the stairs. Is everyone going? Yeah. Let's do it. All right. The party climbs the stairwell into a square room made of stone and wood, but this one is much taller and wider than the previous floor. The stairwell below you vanishes and you look around the room. The room has four doors, one in each corner of the room that likely lead outside, maybe to balconies at the top of the tower. And all around the room are various musical instruments arranged like an orchestra, but without the players. A ladder at the far end of the room seems to lead up to a loft where you hear voices.

All right, Bart, take over. Musical instruments is your specialty. Hold up. That means that there's people we can hear voices in a loft that we could reach if we climbed the ladder. Mm-hmm.

I can shoot an exploding arrow into that room. Breach and clear. We don't know who's upstairs. I know. Breach and clear. Mutt slaps Skyborg's face eight times and says, no, let's go up and talk to them. Do I get the fancy roll? Oh, the guidance. Yeah, is that guidance? I like that's your guys' idea, that anytime I touch you, that's me giving you magic powers.

That's all they think you're good for, Mud. No, no, no. He's good at making himself into weird animals in weird situations. I say we send our most charismatic person of our party up to see what's going on with these people. You got it. I start climbing the ladder. Bart grabs the back of Kyborg's shirt and pulls him back. You guys going to do a grapple check? No, no, my little Elven friend. It is I he's talking about. I would like to go up that ladder. Pfft.

I'm scared if I go up there and I'm not wanted up there. I was willing to go up there for you. Part of me feels like I should maybe... Actually, no, no, I'll go up there. Confidence. Okay, Bart bravely climbs the tower ladder. I assume when you get to the top of the ladder, you step out onto the loft or you look around? Let me peek up to see what I could see first. So like my eyes are just above there.

Okay, yeah, you climb to the top and you look around the loft, and you see on one side of the loft, you see a large wooden desk covered with a quill, ink bottle, and scores of sheet music strewn about, many crumpled up on the floor with a small bed nearby. On the other side of the loft is a shimmering lute hanging on the wall, and next to it is a vanity with a mirror. And there's a dwarf standing at the mirror facing away from you with his head down, and it appears like he's mumbling something. Is he the only person up there? Yes, that you see.

Can I recognize if this is Sleek? Make a perception check. Good call, Barbara. Say 16. Yes, you believe from what you can see this is the back of Sleek. Obviously it's facing away from you. Bart gets really excited and tries to contain his excitement realizing that this is Sleek. Bart goes back down to inform the rest of the team that Sleek is upstairs.

So about shooting that exploding arrow up there. I'm worried about alarming him and him starting to use his very powerful magic raise away. What if I could handcuff to him? I don't know if that's our best option. Good God, I got to get rid of these handcuffs. Could I try to go back up and cast sleep on him? Or if it fails, will it be real bad? Should we try and talk to him first?

Okay, that's Gum Gum's opinion. So it's possible that you could not be able to roll high enough to affect him. Okay, but if it fails, does he notice? Typically, if you try to cast sleep on a creature that's unaware and they don't notice you casting, it does not seem like it would have any effect. It's not like charm, for example. It seems like they would not notice it.

Okay, so technically what we could do, fellas, is I could cast sleep on him and we could go upstairs and look around and see what we could find. Or if not, when we want to try to talk to him, we could do that too. It seems like sleep is a win-win situation since it won't alert him. Yeah, and then when he's sleeping, I can shoot an exploding arrow into his face. And you can handcuff him all at the same time. Everyone wins.

Okay, I'm going to go back up the stairs and try to cast Sleep on him. Okay, you sneakily climb back up the stairs. So go ahead and roll 5d8 to see how many hit points of creatures you can affect. Big rolls. Big rolls. Big rolls, Bart. No, I mean... That's what we call him. We call him Big Rolls Bart.

28 total. Oh, wow. I got a 77275. 28. That's pretty high. Yeah, you cast sleep and there seems to be no reaction from sleep one way or another. Still seems to be mumbling to himself. So it doesn't work on him? Not enough. He's a big boss battle. You can't tell, but it doesn't see it from your perspective. He's still like looking down and mumbling to himself.

Interesting. Okay. Well, there goes that plan. Okay. It was worth a try. It was worth a try. It's pretty good. So about that exploding arrow. Let's talk to him first before we try to kill him. Before we talk to him, let's try and like... Do you want to try to handcuff him? Or something to keep him from like jumping into action. He's a dwarf and he's magical and he's an infinite. Maybe what we should try to do is destroy his loot.

That's a good idea, too. Because that's what he was playing that, and that's what was creating this magic, I believe. If I'm correct. Is the loot down here? It's upstairs. Could you make me invisible? I could.

Because maybe you guys can try to talk to him, and then I just get real close with my exploding arrow, and if things go south, I'll note it and make that loot explode. Wait, why don't you just go invisible and then grab the loot and smash it? Why don't you have to shoot an arrow at it? Well, if experience tells us anything, these infinite dudes are probably under some sort of weird spell, so maybe they're just talking to him. Maybe he's in his right mind at the moment. Oh, man.

I used to have comprehend languages and I got rid of that spell. But is there a way that if we sneak back up there, I guess I'm still up there because I tried to cast sleep. If I could try to understand what he's saying. Yeah, make a perception check. Damn it. 10. It's so faint. You can't quite hear it. You can't quite make it out. If you got closer, maybe you could hear it. He's saying boots and cats, boots and cats. I'm going to try to get closer and see if I can hear it.

Okay, so Bart fully gets up into the loft and roll me a stealth check just for fun. Just for fun. 14. 14. Okay. Yeah, you inch a bit closer. How far away do you want to be from Sleek? However far away I need to be to not be detected, but still hear him. Let's see. The stairs come up about...

let's say 40 feet away from the vanity. So you want to close about half of that, maybe get about 20 feet away? Sure. Okay, go ahead and make a perception check. And I'm doing an army crawl. Okay. That is a 14. You're able to make out the mumbling you hear. Hail and how do you do, fair citizens of Rome? It is I, the voice of voice. He's practicing. He's practicing.

What a nerd. That's funny. And he said the sheet music is across the room? Yeah, it's on the other side. So you came up the ladder and you turned to your right to approach Sleek, but if you had turned to your left in the other direction, that's where the desk was. Steal his music.

I was going to say, yeah, could I army crawl across the floor to try to go get the music? Yeah, go ahead and make me a stealth check just for fun. Oh, gosh. Just for fun. Okay, cool. 26. Yes. 26. That's a great roll. Yeah, you army crawl across the loft over to where the desk and the bed are. What do you want to do once you get there? I want to grab the sheet music and fold it up and put it in my pocket.

Okay, yeah. You grab the sheet music, like as much as you can, off the desk, and yeah, you roll it up and put it in your pocket. Okay, and then I want to go back downstairs stealthily. Okay. You start crawling back downstairs, and you head back down to where your party is. Okay. Guys, guys, look what I got.

Pulls it out and accidentally, instead of pulling out the sheet music, pulls up a picture that he has of a pretty lady that he stored in his pocket. Oh, my wrong pocket there. Sorry, fellas. And then pulls out the sheet music from his other pocket. Who's the painting of, the drawing of, Bart? Is it the barmaid? No, it's someone from Bart's past.

Oh, okay. Someone else that we don't know? Yeah, a little love interest he had. She's from Canada. She goes to another school. Gus, how many pages are there of the sheet music? It's a bunch of manuscripts from the various movements. You see at least five different movements with numerous pages making them up. Okay, I think we should just totally scramble these pages and divvy them up between us. That way, if he happens to capture us, then he doesn't have to complete all the music. Or we could just burn it. Yeah.

We might need it, I'm afraid, in case we need, like, I don't know, some dumb thing, like, play it backwards and reverse the effects or some crap like that. Preserve it for the time being. Crap? Fantastic storytelling, I mean. Anyways, we mix it up and distribute it amongst us. Okay. Randomly distributing all the pages. Yeah, and I also put it in various pockets and packets and stuff. That way it's, like, very difficult for him to steal it all back.

All right. I'm thinking. I'm thinking. I'm a thinking man. I'm a spider. I don't have pockets. I don't like that voice. I don't have pockets. I just put them on top of my head.

Shoot them with, like, Spidey webs on your body or something. I don't know. Like a laminating? Yeah. Like your mom taping a note to your shirt. Yeah. Oh, wow. Parents did do that, didn't they? Back in the day. Yeah, just communicating with people. Like, we were, like...

physical human text messages. Little pigeons. Yeah, man. No, no, no. My parents used to do that crap too. Should we try to talk to him? About how our parents did weird things? No, I mean, sleek. Shouldn't we try and see if we can talk him down from what he's about to do? That's probably the sensible thing to do.

Whose idea was it to destroy the instrument? That was just something that I thought we could do if we needed to, because that's what he used to play his song. But I think we should talk to him first. What if we grab his instrument too? Does he have his instrument in his hand, Gus?

No, it's mounted on the wall next to the vanity where he's standing. Oh, so it's right by him. Right next to him. Right. Yeah, so he's looking at the vanity and then mounted on the wall next to the vanity is the loot. So it would be in his field of view. All right. I would still want to like have a shot, exploding shot, ready to go to hit that loot in

in the event that things go south. Yeah. Would you guys be okay if we all went up there to talk and then I have my arrow drawn on the loot? Would that be all right with you guys? Yeah, do it. Should we not grab him, though, so that he doesn't do any move? Could I? Could I? Well, we don't know. Could I cast maybe Invisibility on Kyborg so he could be doing that without threatening Sleek? Sure. Is that cool with you, Kyborg? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Okay. I'm going to touch Kyborg to make him invincible. Oh.

Okay, and then you suddenly see Gum Gum's underwear rise magically into the air. He's giving him a wedgie. Someone's hugging my crotch. Someone's hugging my crotch. Let's go up. Okay, so the three of you go up. Well, all of you go up, but Kyborg is invisible. The other three of you are visible. You all climb the ladder, go up into the loft. So, you know, he's a bearded mountain dwarf. He's got flowing auburn hair.

We're starting to gray a little bit. He's dressed in a jade silk tunic laced with gold. Yeah, all four of you make a perception check for me. Eighteen. Seven. Sixteen. Seven. Mud and Bart, the two perceptive ones, both of you notice that Sleek looks rather disheveled. You know, you obviously are only looking at his back, but it seems like he's not very well-kempt right now. Both of you also notice that he seems to be missing some fingers on his right hand as well. Whoa.

Do you think maybe he's being forced to do this by someone? I don't know. Or like brainwashed by someone?

Should we check on him? Could we like give a little knock if there's like a wall or something there to kind of get his attention? Sure. He tries to get his attention. He turns around and looks at you guys and Bart and Mud, now that he's facing you, you see also that he has huge bags under his eyes. Looks like he's very tired. Oh, this makes me sad. He looks at you three and says, "'Ah, Halen, how do you do? You must be admirers of my music.'"

Have you come to hear my grand symphony? Ah, I can see you're starstruck by Sleek the Symphonious. This must be so exciting for you. I mean, sir, we... I must say, we are huge fans. We, uh... Oh, thank you. Part of the Sleek fan club, so to speak. You are too kind. I can see it in those halfling eyes of yours. You desire Sleek's signature, am I right? Yes.

Listen. It just so happens I have some pre-signed headshots over at my desk. Let's see there. Here's somewhere. Oh, you know, I could use another photo for my collection. He looks at his desk and says, What? The Forte? Where's my music gone? Where did your music go? I've poured scores of blood, sweat, and tears into the symphony. You, do you know where it's gone? We don't know. We just showed up. We couldn't possibly have anything to do with this.

Well, I suppose it's of no consequence anyways. I've committed the entire piece to memory. Dang it. I knew there'd be a way around this. When are you planning on doing your performance? It's amusing you should ask such a curious query.

I've brilliantly timed the movements of my symphony with the chimes of the glockentower bells, which will ring as they once did, and my overture will debut shortly at the chiming of the noon bell. Are you sure you're ready for a performance? You seem like you might be good for maybe a nice spa day before you go and do a performance. Couldn't help but notice that you maybe need some self-care time. I can see you're clearly a fan of my music.

always looking out for the well-being of the artist. So kind. But fear not, Fair Feeble. I've trained my entire life for this performance, for the show must go on. After all, my symphony will change the world. What do you, sir, feel like your music has an effect on people? What do you, what do you, what does it do? My music will no doubt stop everyone in their tracks, filling their lives, their very souls with beauty and splendor.

We're talking about the betterment of all creatures everywhere. It's like a Thanos kind of situation. I couldn't help but notice that you have an entire cacophony of musical instruments downstairs. Is there one of those instruments down there that you give us a little performance with beforehand? Practice. Make a persuasion check.

Two. Oof. This symphony was written for my lute. Nothing could take its place in this arrangement. He reaches over and grabs his lute off of the wall. You tempt me to play a sonorous sampling for you. But, alas, I must save myself for the performance. Oh...

My friend Bart here, he's very good at music as well. Is there a chance that maybe Bart could join you in your performance as like a accompaniment? Or perhaps I maybe strum a few chords on your lute? Since I am such a big fan, this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity. Literally would change Bart's life if he could play on your lute even just a single note. That's good. That's real good. Okay, make a persuasion check. Yikes. I got a six.

Always a pleasure to meet a fellow musician. But I'm afraid I've come to the recent realization that I'm better as a solo act. But I'm sure my fan club can supply you with a genuine replica of my lute here if you so desire, Fairbart. If you order now, it will be here in... six to eight weeks.

So, Sleek, let's maybe be a little honest here for a second. I don't think your music is going to have the exact effect that you just said it will have. And in fact, there is a chance that it might have some negative magical effects on the people in the surrounding town. I can assure you I'm no evil mastermind bent on destruction. Just a musician with a song to play.

And frankly, I'm insulted that you would suggest otherwise. Well. I believe you've taken enough of my time and my patience is wearing thin. The hour is nigh for my grand overture. Perhaps you're right. I could use a little warm-up on my lute. He strums a clamorous chord on his lute that seems to shake the entire tower. I think now is the time for talking to end. ♪

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