C01 - Ep. 19 - Deja Ürbloom - Up River Without a Skill
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Last time our adventurers climbed the rest of Razor Ridge in search of the baby T-Nest. They encountered a pristine pond of tar, a pound-adding pigment bush, a pack of poultry-sized raptors, and a pit with a bum-bum. But they finally found the nest at the hills crest. Nader, however, has different plans for the toddler T-Rex that he took and hit the road running. Can the interns catch up to Nader before it's too late? Let's cut to the chase, Featherface. The once relentless rain begins to dissipate and the preamble of morning light peaks beneath the horizon.

Dry brush and prickly shrubs snag at your clothes and skin as you chase after the faint footsteps of nadir. Soon you hear the surging sound of water and a splash dimly echoing in the distance. After several thorny cuts, you reach a gap in the thicket and come upon a mossy stone bridge built over a rushing river. Atop the middle of the bridge sits a dilapidated wagon, horseless and carrying five barrels.

Son of a bitch.

How far away is it? It's pretty far. He's got kind of a jump and the river, you know, is really pushing him quickly in his canoe. Do you have an estimate of how far from the river he is? Oh, he's in the river. He's just a couple hundred feet downriver from you. Cold shot, shoot him in the head. That worked out so well last time. How fast is the river going? It's...

Pretty quick. It's a very rapid river. What is it you're trying to get at here, Chris? I was going to try and jump into the canoe. Run and jump into the canoe. He's hundreds of feet away. He's hundreds of feet away. I know, but I have a jump ring. I can jump real far. Yeah, I think it triples your jump, if I remember right. Yeah, yeah. That's why I was like, how far? I think you can make it. Yeah, a couple hundred feet. I'm pretty sure you can do this. So wait, there's also a wagon here.

with five barrels. Yeah, the setup for the joke is that we get into barrels to chase after him and then we fall off of a waterfall. Woo, Niagara Falls! Just so you know, before we get too far down all of this, the chase with Nader, we're going to be using what's called a skill challenge. It's a mechanic that's kind of borrowed from 4th edition Dungeons & Dragons.

So, a skill challenge is a complex situation in which player characters must make several successful checks, often using a variety of skills, before they can claim success in the entire challenge or encounter.

During the skill challenge, I will begin each part of the challenge by describing the situation that lies before you. Then you guys will need to come up with a creative solution that one of you will try relating to a skill check that, you know, their character would be proficient in. And I can offer some skill suggestions, but ultimately it's up to you all to decide who will act and what skill they will use. And if it's plausible, go ahead and roll that skill check.

If you're successful on the check, you move closer to your goal, in this case, you know, catching up to Nader. And if you fail, you still make progress, but with negative consequences. So the goal is to get a certain number of successes before a certain number of failures. And once you meet the required number of successes or failures, skill challenge ends, and then we'll describe the results and consequences. Okay. Two important rules that I want to take a note of before we get started with them. First one is about expanding skills.

Once a player rolls a skill check, let's say for example, GumGum rolls an Athletics check, then GumGum cannot roll an Athletics check again until the entire skill challenge is over.

We're also going to use a help action. So when a player's rolling a skill check, another player or players can offer their help action to assist them. So like using that same previous example, let's say GumGum rolls for a DC 20 athletics check and Bart decides to help him. To do this, Bart must succeed on a DC 10 check and if successful, Bart lowers GumGum's athletics check by two points, making it DC 18. But if Bart fails, he adds an additional two points to the check, making it DC 22.

Interesting. Okay. That makes perfect sense. It does, actually. Yes.

All of us understand this 100% completely. Do you have any questions? We can go over it. I don't mind explaining it or diving more in depth to it. I think once we start getting into it and start actually putting it into practice, it'll make sense. Basically, we'll describe and present scenarios to you. Then you all figure out what you want to do and pick one party member to make a skill check to try to accomplish it. And people can help.

And regardless of, you know, depending on whether you succeed or you fail, different things will happen. If you succeed, you know, positive things. If you fail, you still make progress on the journey, but there might be some negative consequences. So was it Micah or Ben that watched The Hobbit recently? That was my question. Okay, so he's going down the river. We got to get in these barrels, obviously. That's our only form of transportation on the river to catch up to him.

Should we barrel up? So, yeah, right now, you know, you're on this bridge with a dilapidated wagon. You see Nader rowing down in the canoe with the passed out baby T and with you is this horseless wagon with five empty barrels. Looks like we're getting in the barrels. Is that a barrel big enough for mud? Mud?

He's barrel-chested. Can you use the wagon? Can you transform into like a swimming thing? Have you not seen a fish or something? That's way cooler. What have I seen that swims? An otter? You're sure you saw a giraffe? I saw a sea otter.

Boom. What about Smarsh? Could you transform into whatever he was? A giant worm. Can you transform into a king because Smarsh is king? Am I going to ruin this whole thing if I do turn into a sea otter? So I will say, you know, you're more than welcome to turn into a sea otter. You know, we're doing this skill challenge, right? So it's like you kind of want to make a decision as a party and then all act together, like make a skill check or do something together as a party. Yes, and. Yes. Hmm.

I might turn into an otter during the thing. Mud finds the biggest barrel possible and tries to squeeze into it. Are you still a dinosaur? Yeah, I was. How do we break the dinosaur?

I was going to say I do a transformation. Like Beast Boys. Where are my clothes? I like how you're saying transformation. You're just wearing some makeup and stuff. You're also putting... Put your clothes back on. Where are my clothes? He's just so jealous of what Mud has been doing with all of his animal transformations. I'm like you, Mud. I'm like you. Gum Gum, can you do me a favor? Yeah. Can you make... Just roll me a wisdom check. I'm curious about something.

One. One, okay. All right, no, no. That's all I need to say. Thank you. Oh, man. You really are a special little boy. Okay. So are you all hopping in the barrels? Yeah, we must chase. Yes, please. I want to live out my dream as a sailor. Do we all have rope? We do. I have rope.

Let's all hold our ropes together. Mud remembers watching Homeward Bound and is getting flashbacks to Sassy right now. Okay, so you all get closer to the empty barrels, and they reek. I mean, they just smell like rotten eggs and spoiled fish. I mean, it's just like, bleh. It churns your stomach to even get close to them. Why is that a detail you had to give us? Why do we have to be in rotten barrels? Just imagine that smell. Mmm.

I can't, Gus. Oh. Hmm. Well, it's not so bad for you, John. Maybe it's still bad for mud. It's bad for mud. Are they empty then? Yeah, they're empty. It's just the smells like they probably had yucky things in them. Fish barrels or something. Who knows? Maybe poop poop. This is set up for a T-Rex who's going to have our scent.

Oh, so I guess, are y'all going to hop in and then just, like, hop off of the bridge into the river in these barrels? Is that how it's going to work? Mud rolls off the bridge. Mud rolls off the bridge. All right. And everyone's doing that, right? I backflip off the bridge. What's the possibility of wearing this barrel like a pair of pants? Wearing the barrel? What do you mean? Like, if I, like, smash my feet through the bottom of it? Yeah.

And so I'm like wearing the barrel. I think the barrel's probably too big for Bart to do that. Okay. Maybe Mud could do that. Doesn't that also like defeat the purpose of the buoyancy of the barrel? It would still float.

I'm too small for it, so scratch that. I believe Kyborg said he's backflipping in the barrel into the river. That is correct. For the backflip, make an athletics check at disadvantage. What? Wait, does that count against our skills? No, this is independent. Oh, 24.

And a 13. I'll say you still managed to stick it somehow. Boom. It's not pretty, but Kyborg manages to backflip in a barrel into the river. It's pretty pretty. Someone's going to go ahead and need to make like a survival check for the group to see if you all are able to make progress. I roll a survival check.

And I roll an 11. You all get into the river. It seems like Nader is pulling away a bit. You all aren't making as much progress as you maybe could have. Nader is disappearing, but you all are in the river and making your way along with him. Okay, we're going in the same direction as him. If only we had an otter that could pull us on a rope.

What propulsion do you think otters have that magically can pull three other like full grown bodies? Before I set this next scenario, I'm curious if you all could roll like a perception checker. Do I perceive banjo music playing right now? I have a nat 20. 25. 2. 22. 8. Okay. You got some good rolls. I feel like Bart is always like king of perception checks. It's my special eyes.

So Gum-Gum and Kyborg, both of you, you notice, of course, that the water is frigid and the current seems to be picking up a little bit. Mud and Bart, both of you notice that Nader turns left off of the main river into a smaller tributary that branches off towards the north. And you both think that the reason he's heading to that smaller tributary is the main river is heading towards a hazy waterfall drop-off. Oh, no!

So we need to get to the left. Yeah, so someone needs to make either... Are we all holding rope? Yeah, you said you all had rope, right?

Yeah, but we were holding it, because I said we were all holding it when we, like, together, when we got in. Yeah. You all need to make an athletics check or something comparable to try to get yourselves over to the smaller tributary and out of the main part of the river. Left, boys, left! And just one person needs to do it? Yeah, right, for the whole party. 18. Looks like Kyborg didn't make it. Okay. Kyborg takes charge, dips his arms over the sides of the barrel with the rope tied around him, and...

and just begins paddling as hard as he can to the northern tributary, dragging the other three barrels along behind him. Kyborg's muscles are strong enough to overcome the flow of the current, and he's able to pull you guys north to the safer tributary away from the rushing waterfall that laid ahead. Seems like you're closing the distance a bit and catching up with Nader and his canoe. You're welcome.

Thank you. I will say, having plus six, I did jump the gun. I wasn't listening. I just hit athletics. But, you know, I would have done it anyway. You know? You know? Okay. Don't forget, before future checks, people can also roll to help if they want to. And that being said, I'm really sorry that you all didn't feel that. There was something really fun I wanted to do. Aww.

We can do it again at Phil. Oh, darn. No, no, it's okay. Maybe we'll save it for another time. Sorry, Micah. I know you really wanted them to do that too. I do too. I do too. I just want to point out that you guys would have gotten pissed had I failed that throw. And now that I passed it, you're like, I wish you'd failed it. There's no winning in this party. There's no winning. We're not mad at you. There's always winning when we listen to each other and take turns.

So y'all are zigging and zagging down the narrow, snaky stream. Up ahead, you see Nader navigating his canoe through a cluster of rocky shoals, followed by rough rapids. It's getting a little hairy here. And y'all are just in barrels, holding onto rope with each other. What do you want to do here? How far ahead is he now? Are we closing a gap? He had been getting a little further away initially, but now he appears to be getting back closer again.

- Okay. - So he's probably about the same distance as when you initially saw him off the bridge, because at first he got a little further away and then you started closing the distance here once you made the turn onto the Northern Tributary. - Okay. - So about a hundred feet. - Couple hundred feet.

Mud looks ahead to see if there's anything we should be dodging that's coming up. There's quite a few rocks. It seems like maybe the river shallows out a little bit, and there's lots of rocks sticking up in the middle of the river. There is also fast water there, which are pretty rough rapids. Okay, I have an idea. We pull our ropes together so we're more like a train, and then we use, like, I have a shovel and any other kind of thing to kind of push against the rocks. Ah.

Almost like oars in a way, but like to kind of push yourselves along. Wait, I should say that like gum gum. Okay, we should make a choo-choo train. Pull the ropes together, we make a choo-choo train, and then we use sticks and shovels to push the rocks. I actually, I like trains a lot, so I'm down with this. Kyborg is sitting on his hands listening politely.

Who's the conductor and who's the caboose? These are very important details. I would be honored to be the conductor. Okay, so Gum-Gum's in the front. Muddle take the rear. Nice. Okay, so Gum-Gum, I guess this would be like some kind of athletics or acrobatics check. It's up to you. For which part? To get in formation? To paddle and then use your shovel to push away from the rocks and guide everyone.

It's either athletics or acrobatics. One of those two. It's up to you. Whatever you think fits the situation better. I have plus six on both so I can help if you'll have me. Yeah, I mean, I have a plus seven on athletics. I just do my athletics, right? Athlete it up, my dude. Whatever's higher. All right. And yeah, if you want to help, it doesn't matter what your attribute is. It's just a straight roll.

Okay. I rolled a nat one. Critical fail. What is with your rolls lately? I don't know. I have a plus seven. With his plus seven, that's an eight for gum gum. Can I also help? Normally, we would say you would roll the help before the roll's actually made. But since we were unclear on that, I'll let you go ahead and roll the d20 to help if you want.

It's not an athletics check. It's just a straight D20 roll. So we wouldn't use the modifier. It would be a five. So yeah, which means it becomes too harder for Gum Gum. So it's even worse. Somehow a bunch of rocks appear that were not there before. Going inside the barrels too and weighing us down. Yeah. You all take on mouthfuls of water and you're bruised and battered by the rocks in the stream. You all take a little bit of damage from being jostled around. Everyone takes...

Eight points of damage. That's a lot of jostling, my dude. It was 2d4, and they were both fours. I might die.

I'm not kidding. Everyone keep a really strong hold onto Bart's barrel. We might need to just drag that barrel to the shore. Did we have a long rest or anything previously before this episode? Because I was at 11 for my current HP, and I don't know. I think you took damage in that little shrubbery stuff. Okay. Well, cool. And on top of that, everyone needs to make a constitution saving throw. Because of the water? It's wearing you all out.

I rolled a three. I'm sorry. I failed as conductor. 19. I rolled a three as well. Oof. You guys are really chumming it up here. 15. Yeah, the jostling's making you all seasick and queasy. So Bart and Mud, you both rolled a three. You're just exhausted. It's just you're really tired. That just means you have disadvantage on ability checks until the end of the next scenario. Great. Is there a chance that I could...

I guess I could just burn both these slots. Can I-- If I used Cure Wounds, could I touch myself and Bart and get rid of this queasiness? Normally, I would say no, that y'all were too far, but you all did explicitly say you got close in a choo-choo train. And you did say that Gum-Gum is at the front and Kyborg's at the back, so you two would be right next to each other. So because of how you all laid out the scenario, yes, I would say you would be able to do that. Good job, Pimp Gum. Well, to be clear, I'm in the back.

Oh, you're in the back? We didn't specify where me and Kaiborg were, though. And so clearly, clearly Bart's in the third slot. Yeah, clearly. I am in the front. Yes. That does make sense. Yeah. So I'm casting two rounds of Cure Wounds, and that gives us... So I can heal. That's good. So I'm going to heal. I'm going to roll for Bart.

Bart gets 13 points of healing. Thank you. Thank you, good sir. And I'm also going to get 13 points of healing. I'm back to max HP. And we are no longer sick. Yes? Correct. Okay. Yay! My hero. It's not that you're sick, necessarily. It's just from a gaming perspective. Yeah, exhausted. Team Bud. Yeah. Mud tries to use his...

His big old club from the back to kind of use it as a little bit of a rudder. Ooh. To like maybe guide us a little bit better. Yeah. Because I have a great club and I'm putting it in the back. And I'm using my shovel as a paddle. Yeah, you mentioned that I think already. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But now that we're past the rocks, I'm using it to propel, for propulsion. To propel. To propel. Yeah. Yeah.

And just to recap here, you all have been through three scenarios so far, and you've had one success and two failures, just so that everyone's keeping track. That's about on par with our normal performance. Thank you for reaffirming our...

Suckiness. Just in case for anyone who's listening so that they're keeping track as well. All right, so the stream continues on and you see a little bit of a dip in front of you. It's not like a huge waterfall, but you all go down this drop in the river. And as you all are falling down, you get caught up on some branches that are sticking out in the middle of this little drop. And with the water roaring all around you, you all lift your heads to look around to see a large, wrinkly reptilian bird with a pointed beak sitting atop a few eggs. Mmm.

I say hello. Since I talk to animals. I ready my longbow. It actually replies to you, Mud. What does it say? Welcome to my nest. I'm Scoville the Stumper. I lower my longbow. I'm so glad to have visitors. It's just a lovely day, isn't it? Absolutely. It's a great day for a riddle. Oh, I love riddles. I ready my bow again. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

What's your riddle? I'll start you with an easy one. What is the name of the fastest dinosaur? Is it me? No, no, no, come, come, it's not me.

Okay, it's already a little slow. This might be a joke. I want to pull in the group. I see probably like the Velociraptor, some play on velocity. Velociraptor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Answer that one. I'm fine with that. Okay, all right. Yeah, go ahead, Mud. Why do I say it? Because my bow is drawn and I just can't lower it. All right. Can't speak with my bow up. Clearly, the fastest dinosaur would be a Velociraptor. Velociraptor. Ah!

You didn't say the magic word. And he reaches out with his beak to peck at you. What's the magic? But he misses. All right. It's a Prontosaurus, of course. Oh, Prontosaurus. That's not good. That's bad. Velociraptor was way better. You can use punch-ups. No, this is bad puns written by my brother, so let's think that. Keep that in mind. Okay, we need to get in the mind of a child. Got it. Got it.

I'm already there. Micah's going to kill us for the next episode. Okay, I got another one for you. Oh, fire away. When can three giant dinosaurs get under one umbrella and still not get wet? When can three dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? Giant dinosaurs. Giant dinosaurs and not get wet? Yes. Probably it's like when it's not raining, right? During a meteor shower. That's not bad. That's not bad. Because then they just die.

That makes me sad. They don't get wet, they just die. Go ahead, Mud. Go ahead. Why am I saying it? During a media shower. Don't peck me again, you punk. Ah, ah, you didn't say the magic word. Oh my god! The magic word!

He tries to peck at you. Oh, and he does actually connect. His beak connects with you and he hits you doing eight points of damage. Mud's dead. Mud's dead. Just a mud? No. Yeah, just a mud. It's fine. I'm okay. I'm okay.

The correct answer is when it isn't raining, of course. I hate you. Which it wouldn't be raining in a meteor shower, so it was in there. I said that. Guy, we're ready or bow. It's already, it's drawn. It's ready. We're going to get one of these, okay? I will say the meteor shower was funnier. I agree. Hit me with your best shot. Okay, this is the easiest one I know. I don't need you to be placating us like that. I do. What does...

What does a triceratops sit on? A tricycle. A triceratops. Tricycle. His butt. Tricycle sounds fun, but is like just real. Oh, a triceratops? That's it. Yeah, go ahead and say that, Kyborg. Go ahead and say that. Okay.

A triceratops. Nailed it. Yeah. Some people just want to watch the world burn. You didn't say the magic word. He goes to peck at you, Kyborg, but he misses. The answer's obviously on his triceratop bottom. Would you have given to us if we said butt? No. Oh, damn it. I

I'm genuinely getting frustrated that we haven't gotten one right because I really want to get one of these dumb riddles right. These are jokes that are of the equal grade of, like, bathroom journal, like, bathroom joke books, volume 10. Yeah.

This is back of cereal for four-year-old jokes. Yep. That all tracks. And you all still aren't getting that. I know. Because they're not real answers. They're not real jokes. We're writing TV guy jokes, and this is back cereal jokes. Yeah. These are Laffy Taffy jokes. Can we find a middle ground and get more to, like, Disney Adventure Magazine jokes? Can we just do that?

And John is the only old person who knows what that is. Hey. Micah knows what that is. We got to channel some of that. Okay. What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? We have another one? What is this? Big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing. You all have to answer a riddle before I help you. What's as big as a dinosaur...

but doesn't weigh anything. But weighs nothing. The hole a dinosaur leaves when it exits a building. That's really specific.

I mean, if the dinosaur isn't weighing anything, it's a dinosaur because he's just not weighing anything. But weighs nothing? Because, yeah, they don't have scales. Yeah. Oh, wait, is it a scale joke? Scoville the Stumper looks very disappointed in you. It's big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing. There's so many possible answers. Let me give you a clue. If below you at noon, it's a shadow. Oh, a dinosaur shadow. A dinosaur shadow. It's a bloody dinosaur shadow.

Finally, you guys got it! With help. Don't say the magic word. Those are the magic words. You said the magic word finally. I'm so excited. You guys are a blast to play with. He starts kind of shoving at your ropes and barrels that are tangled up in the branches in his nest. Here, let me help you guys get the hell out of here. LAUGHTER

I was going to shoot an exploding arrow at the tree after we left because he's helping us out. You guys proceed on the way downstream. Guess what I'm going to ask you to do.

That's right. Follow us or interact with us on social media at StinkyDragonPod. It's a really great thing. It's probably the best thing you can do to help us out is to tell a friend or engage in social media. Use hashtag StinkyDragonPod. Maybe we'll even use your name as an NPC in a future story arc. For example, Scoville the Stumper. It was Elliot Scoville who interacted with us on social media. Don't you want to be a character? You could be a character in our story too. Just engage with us on social media. Use that hashtag StinkyDragonPod. Tell a friend. We really appreciate it.

Really, really appreciate it. That's the best thing you can do for any podcast. Really help get that word of mouth out there. And of course, give us a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. We've got some great ratings, some great reviews. Thank you so much if you've done it already. And of course, if you'd like to listen to episodes 24 hours before they're available to the general public, you can do so by becoming...

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We're going to have some Q&A with the players and the DMs here. I'm not sure when, probably in a few weeks. So one of the things you can do on social media is send us questions you have about the characters, NPCs, storylines, specific episodes, behind the scenes, whatever else. We'll do our best. We'll go through those. We'll answer them. So just send us a tweet for any question you have, and we'll do our best to answer it.

And one more thing, last thing, I promise. We're doing a survey right now to find out about you, the listener. So if you look in the description of this podcast, you'll see there's a link to the survey. Real quick, just takes a couple minutes. You should be able to fill that out. We would really appreciate it. Thank you so much. I'm shoveling real quick down that river. Getting away from Scoville the Stumper.

I don't like him. So you guys are nearing the end of the rushing stream and it looks like it's pouring out and feeding into a large lake. But there's a bulky beaver dune dam and two husky beaver dunes blocking the mouth of the lake. Everyone go ahead and roll me a perception check. Okay. Nice.

19. 15. 17. 18. Okay, yeah, you all noticed that Nader has hopped out of his canoe and is making his way on foot with the baby tea to the northeast on a dirt path along the shore of the lake. So we need to get out of the river. Yeah, so you all are still in the stream heading towards this Beaverton Dam. And if you want to keep chasing Nader, yeah, you do need to get out of the river.

Is Nader past the Beaver Dam? As in, like, can we just go to the Beaver Dam and then use that as a way to get out of the river? Or... He hopped out of the river before it hit the Beaver Dam. Oh.

Oh, okay. And the beaver dam is just like a little further down. Is he going down the path towards the beaver dam? Like, could we catch up to him if we shot past him and then got out at the dam? Not really. It would be quicker to get out before you get to the dam. If you make it all the way to the dam, it's not the end of the world. It's not that far out of the way, but it is a little further. All right. Unless if we can't steer, I could shoot an arrow with rope attached to a tree to anchor us.

Mud uses his club to try to steer us towards the bank. Okay. I guess if it's Mud, then make like a dexterity check or, you know, athletics, I guess, works too if you're using the club to try to steer you guys over towards the bank and the path. That's only a seven. You want me to lend a hand? See, you got to say it before. Shoot.

I have a plus four. I thought I'd be okay. So if that didn't work, can Kyborg now shoot? If I take a... I got rope. I attach it to an arrow. I shoot the arrow at a tree to anchor us so that we can go off to the side and pull ourselves in. See, you could have done that, but you opted to go with the club instead. But I mentioned that, and then John said the club. So you guys aren't able to steer yourself effectively, and you ram headlong into the dam.

And you plunge into the depths of the murky lake. Oh, good. And you all do take a little more damage here from the shock of running into the dam. You take four points of damage. Everyone in the party. And everyone needs to go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw or you're going to... Let's everyone make a dexterity saving throw.

Okay, 15. Ugh, critical fail. 5. 17. I have advantage, I'm rolling again. You rolled the exact same roll twice. Yeah, so it doesn't matter, but I have advantage on, uh, um, it's my dangerousness. It's Gum Gum's birthday. It's Gum Gum's birthday. Right.

Yeah, you have Danger Sense. It's a barbarian, so you have advantage on dexterity checks. But you rolled a nine on both of your checks. So we ended up with Bart with a 15, Mud with a 17, Kyborg with a five, and Gum-Gum with a nine. Bart and Mud pop back up to the surface and I presume begin swimming to the shore. However, Kyborg and Gum-Gum take on a little bit of water and it seems like they're not

They're struggling to try to swim and keep their head above water. Could I help them at all with like an acrobatics check or survival? Yeah, you could pick one of them and try to give them assistance. Yeah. Let's do survival. Yeah. I got an idea. Seems to make more sense. 12 seconds.

All right. So you try to, I mean, it's good enough. Gum Gum was at a nine and you rolled a 12 survival. You're able to like help him. He's not like swimming great, but you're able to at least, you know, help him get his head above water and start moving towards the shore of the lake. Kyborg, you said you had an idea? Oh, but I want to help. I'm just going to swim to the surface. If I take on more damage, I have a spell that I was going to cast to help. I'm going to help. Go ahead. Help. Mud cast, shape water.

changes the flow of the water around Kyborg to burst him up out of the water. Oh, can I make a request? Can you make me surf to the shore? Mud makes Kyborg surf to the bank with magic. Okay, Micah, add one of those cool surfing guitars. Surf's up, dudes. I'm like drowning in the water. For out!

Should Bart just play for you since he is a musician? Yes, yes, yes. Bart plays me surf music.

Why is Barb playing a banjo? That's almost like banjo-y. Barb's Canadian. I don't know if she's ever seen anybody surf or anything like that. It's just a higher pitch version of the song that we're all thinking of. Okay, okay, okay. I really like that use of Shapewater. I'm going to go ahead and give you an inspiration die for that. That's like my first inspiration die this entire campaign. You do it. With that attitude, he's going to take it back. Take it back.

That was great. That was being grateful. That was being grateful. That was really inspired use of shape water. Ben, Micah, and I are all marveling at it. It is pretty. You all make your way to the shore. Some of you better than others. Kyborg showing up surfing. Gum Gum being dragged by Bart and Bart's stout little arms. So you all find yourselves at the shore of the Murky Lake chasing after Nader. I assume you're running after him at this point.

Yes. As you're running after him chasing Nader, a plesiosaurus erupts from the lake and sinks its jaws into Nader's leg. Oh, damn. Dragging him and the baby T towards the lake. Oh, damn. Not the baby T. You can take Nader. I guess Nader's holding on to that T. Yeah, he's holding on to the baby T. While we're doing this, I take a quick, quick moment to do a second wind, which is once per short rest, you can take a bonus action to regain 1d10 plus 3 HP. Is that okay? Okay, do it.

Nice. Good call. All right. Yeah. What do you want to do? How far away are they? We'll say it's not that far. We'll say it's within like 40, 50 feet ahead. That's a big dino. Yeah. He doesn't seem to be complacious. Damn it. You just have a stroke. Are you okay? Do you have an inspiration die? I'm taking it away. No, no, no, no, no. On inspiration. Yeah. I guess mud rushes forward to try and help Nader not be pulled into the water.

Okay, how are you going to do that? Are you going to grab onto him or try to pull him away from the plesiosaurs? What's your plan of attack there? Yeah, I just run forward, and as I'm running forward, I turn into something that's going to help. I turn into a mastiff.

That's exactly what I was thinking. And try to chomp down on like armor clothing on Nader and really just like bulldog it. And, you know, you know, like a dog, like you're like playing like the tug of war when they're like, and they're really just like putting their feet down and really doing that kind of like that little head jolt kind of thing. Yeah. Oh, God, I hate that. Just like, just let go of the toy and I'll throw it. Yeah.

Okay. Does anybody want to help Mud in this endeavor? You know what? For a little bit of flavor, since we've seen the Mastiff, turn into a tiger instead. That's what I do. Ooh. Ooh, okay. A little bit of flavor. I have an idea. Y'all are going to make fun of me. Probably. I make a flower with a really deep root here so that he can grab hold of it. So Nader can grab hold of it?

Yeah, yeah, like a flower. I make it sprout up magically with my staff of flowers, like the purple prairie club. It's got a deep flower, like maybe a rose bush. Maybe I can make a rose bush pop up. Well, rose bushes have thorns, don't they? Yeah, but I'm going to make it hurt them. Exactly. It helps them hold on to it better. If we type in rose bud into the chat, could we get a thousand extra gold pieces? It's a Sims joke. Yeah, I got you. I got you.

Yeah, make a rosebush pop up or something so that he can grab hold or it'll grab hold of him because of the thorns and it'll hurt him, but it gives us something to hold on to. Go ahead and roll a d20 to see if you can assist Mud with that. Okay. Three. All right. So yeah, a plant. What did you decide? Did you decide on rosebush? Yeah, it's rosebush.

Rosebush pops up within arm's reach of Nader. He reaches out and grabs onto it. Then he immediately lets go because it's filled with thorns and it hurts his hand. Yep. Anybody else going to try to assist Mud? Mud, while holding onto this man, just like, just like, shoot the dinosaur! Shoot the dinosaur! Oh, oh, you're saying shoot her? Like, shoot her! Shoot her. I'll help Gum-Gum here.

Okay, go ahead and roll a d20. You mean help Mud, right? Mud, yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. Roll. Come on in. Oh, no, six. Okay. Sorry. What are you doing to help? Are you, like, trying to also physically grab on and pull Nader? Or what's your plan of attack here? Yeah, I'm helping to pull. Okay. I'm very strong, remember. Apparently. I'll shoot the plesiosaurus.

Okay, you're gonna like try to shoot it to distract it with pain? Yeah. With your bow? Yeah. Yeah, instead of making an attack roll, just go ahead and roll a d20 to see if... We'll just use that roll. You rolled an 11 there. Your arrow strikes and it seems like the plesiosaurus kind of flinches a little bit. Maybe a little distracted by the pain. So Mud, go ahead and make your strength check to see if you're able to pull a nadir. Eight. But then I use my inspiration dice.

Oh, God, right now? Yeah, yeah. Do you want me not to? No, no, no, no, no. You go ahead. And he instead rolls a 17. Nice. 17. Perfect. That is exactly what you needed. Okay. Done.

But you're kidding, right? No, no, that 17 is exactly what he needed because it was supposed to be 15, but then... I helped and did not help. Bart and Mud did not help, but then Kyborg was able to bring it back down. So it was at 17, so you were able to actually succeed. That's teamwork right there.

So yeah, the plesiosaurus lets go and releases Nader. We should just take the T-Rex from Nader and then throw Nader back into the plesiosaurus. Well, as a tiger, I am getting my mouth right on Nader's arm. Because I already have access to it because I've already grabbed him. I'm just getting like... I was being gentle by grabbing clothing before. Now I'm just grabbing the arm. I rip off my clothes.

Wait, is the dinosaur awake? The baby T, no, it's still knocked out. Okay, never mind. He puts his clothes back on, embarrassed. The plesiosaurus now seems intent on Kyborg because Kyborg shot him with an arrow. Oh, no. Sweet. Then I move further inland to get away from it, and then I also take another shot.

Before you're able to do that, it lashes out in your direction. Oh, yeah? Yeah, that's a 23. Yeah, it manages to bite at Kyborg. Doing... Ouchie. Uh-oh, stinky. Ouchie. 14 points of damage. It bites down onto Kyborg's arm. I'm going to do that second one. Which arm? Left. Is that the one with... Wait, which one is your metal arm? I don't remember. I'm going to be honest. I can't remember. Don't go.

It's your left arm, isn't it? Yeah, it's my left arm. That's why you always go left. Ow! It hurts! I thought it's the opposite of that. Someone pull up the thumbnail artwork.

I think it's my left arm. It's my right arm is what's missing. Because I went by Bruce Campbell rules because he has his right hand chopped off. Your right arm is prosthetic. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Bruce Campbell rules. Okay. It's in the notes on your character sheet. Oh, yeah. Great job, Blake. Well, I want to shoot back. That hurt. Okay. Take a shot and then we'll probably have to roll initiative after. Oh, it was almost a 20. 16. Yeah, you're able to hit. You hit the plesiosaurus. Arcane shot, bursting arrow.

So then I'm going to do piercing damage. It's going to be 12. So 12 points of damage from the arrow, which then bursts upon contacting the target. Takes 2d6.

Yeah. Seven. While he's doing this, can I use my rope and make a little collar for the dinosaur and tie him to a tree? Yeah, we'll get to that in just a second. Before you can do that, though, Gum-Gum, like I said, we do need to go ahead and roll initiative just so I can keep everyone straight and make sure everyone gets a turn. So if everyone could just go ahead and roll initiative for me, that would be great. 11. Oh, God. Five. 19. 23. Sorry, 23. Gum-Gum. Two.

The plesiosaurus rolls a 19 plus two, 21. - I beat you. It's a water dinosaur? - Well, yeah, it lives in the water, but it's like sticking out from the water. - It's like a really mean Lapras from Pokemon. - Yeah, so couldn't we just run from the water? - Yeah, you could run further inland. Okay, kyborg. - All right, I wanna move maximum distance inland for my movement, which would be, I guess, 35 feet. So I move all that way in.

I turn and then I shoot through the longbow of triumph once again, and I roll a 16. Yes, that hits. Okay. Excellent. Rolling damage.

Six. Oh, but you know what? I want to do another arcane shot. Exploding arrow. That was a eight. So is that a total of 14 points of damage? Yep. And then I'm going to take an action surge and drink a healing potion because I'm at low health-ish. Okay. Go ahead and roll to see how much you get back. That is a...

Five, seven, you get seven points back. Nice. That's fine, that'll do. Better than nothing. Better than nothing. So Nader's still being held down by tiger mud, correct? Correct. Which sounds like a skincare product. Tiger mud, now available. Yeah.

He's going to try to wiggle free from your grasp. We're going to treat it like a grapple. Go ahead and roll a strength check for me, please. Mud? That's an 11. That's a 15 plus 4, so 19. So he's able to escape from your grasp. And he pops up free and continues running up the trail away from you guys and the plesiosaur.

He doesn't have the dinosaur no more, does he? Yeah, he still has the baby key with him. What? The plesiosaurus gets to attack. It's going to go ahead and make an attack roll at Bart. Oh, no. I'm just a little innocent. It sees Bart and it tries to chomp down on Bart. Looks like he's going to try to maybe swallow you whole. Yeah, that's going to be... That's just a bite.

That's a 19. Okay. Armor class is 14, so yes, it does hit. Yeah. He chomps down on you, doing 13 points of damage. I'm dead. You're incapacitated. Incapacitated. The plesiosaurus, like we were talking about earlier, like a dog, chomps down on Bart and then violently shakes his head left and right. Not cool, Dino. Not cool. Oh, but I'm just muscle, so he's not going to enjoy me.

Isn't that the good part? Isn't that what we eat? Isn't it muscle? But yeah, you gotta have a little marbling. Oh, I see what you're saying. There's no fat in there. I'm 0% body fat. Does Bard happen to have any potions on him? I don't know if I could use them if I'm incapacitated. I'm saying if I run up to him and I snatch him and then put him in his mouth.

Well, we'll see what happens by the time it gets to you because it's Mud's turn. Mud was going to chase after Nader, but is very upset about the incapacitation of his little halfling friend. So Tiger Mud leaps forward and pounces the plesiosaurus. Ooh, okay.

A direct physical mono-e-mono attack on the water dinosaur. Nothing could go wrong. It says here that I have this pounce ability, but it's not one of my actions. So does that mean it's like a, like a, oh, it's a bonus action. Okay. So then I'm going to take a bite at the plesiosaurus and also use pounce with the bite.

Yeah, just to be clear, the pounce is an ability that tigers have in D&D. So you basically run 20 feet straight towards a creature, and then you hit it with claws on the same turn. Then that target has to either make a saving throw, and if it doesn't succeed, it's not. Oh, so I got to, I have to, okay, so I'll claw it then. I clawed it. Yeah, go ahead. So you run at it full speed, make your claw attack. God dang it. I rolled a one. I rolled a one.

It looks like it's going to be really cool. Mud takes off full sprint at the dinosaur, jumps at it, claws free, and then flies right over the top of the dinosaur, splashing into the shallow portion of the lake behind it. Rawr.

- Don't you have an inspiration? Oh no, you already used that inspiration. - Nope, use that. - Bart, you are incapacitated, but you need to go ahead and roll a death saving throw to see if you stabilize. - What do I roll for that? - Just a D20. I'm just double checking on the character sheet. Is there a special portion on the character sheet? Yeah, I think it's just a straight D20. - Well, I rolled a nat 20. - Oh, that's good. - The miraculous raises for himself, full health.

So the way it normally works, yes, yeah, you start to stabilize. You need to roll three stabilizations or three failures, and it ultimately determines whether you stabilize or whether you die. So since you rolled a 20 for your death saving throw, and that 20 actually automatically stabilizes you and heals you for one hit point. Oh, really? Dang. That's totally cool. All right. Bork, bork, bork, bork.

I'm like, you know when someone's incapacitated, but fingers start twitching? Yeah. He's coming back. He's not really dead. And just for the flip side of that, a nat one does give you two failures. Oh, Jesus. Okay. Just in case that comes up down the road. So Bart, you're back in the game. You have one hit point. You're laying prone next to the lake. It's like you close your eyes and you drifted off to sleep. You saw beautiful, shiny light in the distance, but mentally you decided, nah, that's not for me. And your eyes pop open and you now have one hit point.

Am I able to take a potion of healing at all now or is this, that's my turn? No, that was your turn. It was just stabilizing and giving the one hit point. It's Gum Gum's turn. I'm really mad. Uh-oh. You sound it. I go into a rage and I throw hand axe at the whatever dino is. The plesiosaurus? Yeah. And then I grab Bart and run away. And I also, I guess I do my thingy. I guess I'll see what that does first.

- Right, the wild magic. From a metagaming perspective, the wild magic portion of your rage. - I feel like everybody's heading towards this water beast. We should be... - Well, I was getting barbed. - If you just wanna roll a D8, I can read it to you. - Okay. - One, each creature of your choice that you can see within 30 feet of you must succeed on a constitution saving throw or take 1D12 necrotic damage. - Oh my God. - You also gain temporary hit points equal to 1D12 plus your barbarian level.

So everyone needs to make a constitution saving throw. It says he gets to choose, right? Oh, that's right. Every creature of your choice. I heard that very specifically. Yeah, you're right. What do you choose? Well, I choose Nader.

And the dino, the bronchi-plati- Pleisiosaurus. Pleisiosaurus. We've said it like 30 times. Nader would be further than 30 feet from you at this point, but you are still within 30 feet of the Plesiosaurus. So I guess just the Plesiosaurus. Okay. So it needs to make a constitution saving throw, which is the DC is eight plus your proficiency bonus plus your constitution modifier. So it needs to make a DC 13. Con.

- Institution. - Yeah. - Wait, he's more than 30 feet away? How? - Yeah. He took off running. - Yeah, but he was carrying a dinosaur. And we're like, that's more, even when you sprint, you can only go 30 feet. And he's carrying a dinosaur. - No, a normal move for him is 30 feet. And he wasn't right next to you when he started moving. He was already a few feet away from you. So he would be more than 30 feet.

Okay. I'm rolling this saving throw. Five plus two, seven. So it fails its saving throw. And so it takes 1d12 necrotic damage. Let's go ahead and roll that. Seven points of necrotic damage on the Plesiosaurus. You gain 1d12 plus your barbarian level. Do you want to roll that, GumGum? Yeah, I'll roll it. Why are you so combative with how you said that?

I don't know. It sounds fun. Yeah, I'll roll it. Oh, that was me being excited. Boom, 12. So 12, then you're a level 3 barbarian, so 15. Damn. 15 temporary hit points.

That was awesome. Yeah, it's great. Go Jack-Jack. I'm very confused. I don't understand what happened. And then Gum-Gum walked into the beast's mouth. I thought you were going to say he just walks into the lake, never to be seen again. Never to be seen again. All right, so then you said you were going to throw your hand axe. Well, actually, where is the dinosaur in relation to Bart? Bart is right by the shore of the water, and the dinosaur is in the water. So it's like they're really close to each other. And his breathing is very staggered. Hmm?

I would just want to just, like, run and, like, Great Axe full force, like, right into him. Okay, so you're going to go ahead and take, like, a melee attack at the place it starts. All right, yeah, go ahead and roll your Great Axe. Okay. 16, that does hit. Okay. That's 10 points of damage. I'm sure you have some more bonuses because you're raging. Plus two melee damage with strength weapons. So that's another two points of damage.

Anything else? Well, I want to break free. I want to pick up Bart and run. Yeah, you have a few feet of movement left. Do it. Yeah, you pick Bart up and then what do you do with Bart in your hands? So I help pick him up and kind of pull him away so we both go together.

Okay, so you go inland a bit, away from the plesiosaurus. And then I turn with my axe, ready. Okay, ready to defend Bart, I assume. Yeah. Okay, kyborg. Yo, I might as well just shoot another arrow. I mean, uh... Yeah, that's all I'm good for. Unless, well... If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Actually, I'm gonna call out to Gum-Gum and say, Hey, hey, do you need help? What? With what? Do you need help with Bart? With me?

Bart just goes, water. Oh, he wants you to take him back to the lake. Yeah, he misses his friend. We gotta go back to the lake. I mean, a dry land. No, no, no, Bart, don't talk. You're too weak. Go back to the lake. Keep your strength, please. We could, like, disengage at this point, right? You just try to get the...

Beat the dino thing away. You get him. I'm just hanging out on- I'm hanging out enough inland that the thing's out of reach, so I'm just gonna shoot an arrow from my safe distance. This is why I chose archer, so I'm just gonna do my archer thing. I'm gonna shoot the arrow at the thing. A coward. 18. Shut your mouth. 18. That hits. Shut your mouth. He's a ranged character. Hush. Hush.

Nine. Nine points of damage. You're out of arcane shock. Is that right? So it's just a straight nine? Yeah. Placidosaurus is looking extremely weak. He's very bloodied. I'm sorry, but you said straight nine. I was like, like Blaine. Nine. Oh, like nine out of ten? Yeah. Oh, okay. Thanks. Yeah, I'll take that. That's good. High praise. Wait, what?

Where's the insult in this? It's not. It's not. Okay, all right. I appreciate that. Nader continues to book it away from you guys further up the path. The plesiosaurus is going to attack. It wouldn't attack me because I'm like squared off with my axe. You are correct, Gum-Gum. The plesiosaurus does decide to turn and attack you. It goes ahead and tries to chomp at you. It's not too happy with the fact that you attacked it. What type of damage does chomp? Piercing. Okay.

So yeah, you would take half damage from that. So it rolls a 16 to hit, which does hit. So it bites down on you doing 18 points, but you take half. So you take nine points of damage from the bite of the Plesiosaurus.

but I have temporary hit points. - Oh, that's true. Look at you, all buffed up. - Whoa, so strong. - Little tank. Mud. - How far away is Nader now? - He's made two moves away at this point. So I'd say from where you are now, he's probably close to 80 feet away. - Then I move 80 feet. - You can move 80 feet? - I can. The movement speed of a tiger is 40 and I'm gonna do a double. - So you make a double move and you catch up to Nader. - Yes. - Can you pounce it?

Actually, I can't because I can't claw him, right? Because the double move is my action. Correct. But I growl and I go like, I'm going to get you. Bart. I want to have some of my healing potion. Delicious healing potions.

Yeah, because I don't think I have. I did have cure wounds, but I think I got rid of it last time we. Oh, yeah, you did. That's right. Dang. Okay, well, I'll have one of my healing potions. Bottoms up. So it's 2d4 plus 2. Give me something good, please. Give me something good. 8 plus 2d10. Wow. Maximum healing. Okay, guys, I know I said water before, but I actually meant dry land.

He wasn't thinking straight. It's okay, Bart. I had the vapors. Quick, cast Shape Water. I don't have that one. That's the wrong character.

I've seen The Shape of Water. It's a great movie. Anything else, Bart? So where am I now? I'm with Gum-Gum. You're in his arms, aren't you? No, he propped him up and turned around. Gotcha. So you're about 10 feet away from the shore. Okay. Gosh, I don't know what even to do in this situation. You could move. I could move. Drinking the potion does take an action. I'll stay where I am. Go get them. Go help out there.

Me and Kaibou can fight. Spit it out. Me and Kaibou can go fight the big mean dinosaur. You go get the nice little dinosaur. I mean, I don't think I could. I think I could just move now, right? Yeah. Okay. Well, let me move closer to the T-Rex. Okay. The baby T, your walking speed is 25. So we'll say you're roughly...

Somewhere around 60 feet away from Nader and the baby team. Okay. Gum-Gum. I'm going to, once again, greataxe that dinosaur, the water one. The Lapras. The Plesiosaurus. Plesiosaurus. Mean Lapras, yes. Mean Lapras. See how that goes. Gum-Gum takes a mighty swing with the greataxe, connecting and hitting the Plesiosaurus.

damaging it potentially gravely doing eight damage. Gum, gum brings his great ax down on the Plesiosaurus. It looks incredibly injured, barely clinging to life. It looks at you with pain in its eyes and it writes its name in the sand. So you don't forget it. Oh,

Oh, hell yeah. I'm about to kill this thing. I'm so excited. Kyborg. Oh, you know what I'm going to do. I'm pulling out that longbow of triumph. I'm going to shoot that thing right in its body. Oh, that's a nat 20, 28. Oh, geez. Wow. That's 14 points of damage. Poor Lapras. Kyborg sinks an arrow into the plesiosaurus, which falls down dead, nearly hitting Gum-Gum.

Yeah. Also, with the longbow of triumph, when landing a killing blow on any enemy, I gain 10 temporary HP points.

Oh, really? Hit points, yeah. That's awesome. Oh, look at you. That's awesome, yeah. Oh, I feel better than ever. Okay, and Mud, where you are, you see Nader quickly disappear into a bush. That's right next to the trail. Can I follow? Yes. We'll deal with that in a second. Since everyone else hasn't caught up to you, that's going to be like a separate thing. That works for me. What's everyone else doing? Well, the dinosaur's dead, right? The plesiosaurus that wrote its name in the sand at your feet, yes. Wait, why did he... Wait, did he really write his name in the sand? Yeah, what was his name?

Plesiosaurus. And my name is human. I act like a dog with worms and I rub my butt through it. What? Rude. Yeah, you heard me. But you were like so far away. Think about how much money that would have been worth if we just kept a dinosaur who had written its own name in the sand, took a picture, sold it to the Guinness Book of World Records. I don't. Would have been amazing.

He's dead now, so we have his body to sell. Is there anything worthwhile in the body? Whale oil.

You gonna make some perfume or something? Yeah. Make a, I don't know, like an investigation check. 14. That's really good for Gum Gum. It's really good because Gum Gum has a negative three. Yeah, I mean, nothing really stands out. It's, you know, it's a dinosaur. It's got teeth. Can I grab one of its teeth and then sprint off? I mean, yeah, it's gonna take a little while to pull it out. You know, it's not like the teeth are loose. Can you grab me one too? Yeah, I just, with my axe, I'm still raging. I just whoosh. Oh, you hacked like a little section of jaw out. I just go whoosh and grab it.

and then sprint off towards the other. Okay. So that's what Gum-Gum does. What about Bart and Kyborg? I make chase, I guess. I try to catch up with old tired face. That's my name. Mud, mud, mud, mud, mud, mud, mud. Mud. Bart.

Yeah, I guess we should all probably try to stay together here. All right, so everyone's making their way in that direction now, right? Yep. We wrapped up all of the skill check portion of the episode. I just want to give the summary. You ended up with two successes and three failures out of the five checks that we did. That's not great. Which results in a net result of failure. But no one died, so...

So it's really a win. Some of us came close. Plus your source died. Yeah. Yeah, and I got his teeth. Nice. So after you go through the bush with Nader Mud, you emerge in Hugh Manor's encampment nestled at the base of the small cliff. Right as you go through the bush, you see Nader kneeling down presenting the baby tea to Hugh Manor. Oh!

Hugh addresses Nader and says, Nader, where are the interns? Oh my, what do we have here? The interns were useless, Mr. Manor. I couldn't let them squander all those years of searching for this monster and ruin your chance at vengeance for your daughter, Meld. Nader, you've really outdone yourself this time. Come, come, let's see the beast properly. You see, Nader lay the bound baby T on the ground before Hugh. After all these years...

It's finally mine! Quick! Someone start the bonfire and prepare the spices. Baby T is finally on the menu.

I guess at this point, the rest of the party would be coming through and catching up as well. You son of a... He's gonna eat the baby. It's like veal. Yeah. Yum. Delicious. Tender. That's not okay. Everyone go ahead and make me dexterity saving throws. Got an 18. Six. Five. Five.

Wait with advantage. Hard to be dexterous with these fluffy little paws. 18. Nice. Bart, there's something about Bart. Bart, you always have really good saving throws. I got some good modifiers on my saving throws, other than intelligence and strength. Yeah, but normally whenever I ask you for a check, Bart's always going to pull through. It makes up for everything else I'm bad at. Yeah, Bart almost died, just to remind you. A bunch of huge men's pounce on the party. Humans. Humans.

Kyborg and Mud take six points of bludgeoning damage from the struggle, and you all are overtaken by multiple assailants and chained up, and you all are dragged close to the bonfire. What? All of us?

Yes. Wait, but we helped. We found the little T-Rex and we were going to bring him to you. We swear. Yes, but you failed at that. And my reliable Nator has come through once again. Nator wouldn't have found him without us. This is bull honky.

In the end, all that matters is the final result. Just from a metagaming perspective, and I guess for the listeners, this is part of the consequence of the net failure of your skill checks is the result of getting ambushed. In the distance, you hear a slow booming noise. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Drop the bass. Oh, sweet, Deadmau5 is here.

Everyone freezes in their tracks, each recognizing the unmistakable pounding of the footsteps of the T-Rex. But where is it? No! Not now, you infernal beast! Not when I'm on the brink of... Brink chimes up. Yes, Mr. Maynard?

What? No, you idiot. Actually, yes, I could use your talents. Find me the T-Rex and you are free to go from your servitude. Sound good? Now go. You see Hugh pushing Brink out towards the four of you. Brink smiles sheepishly and offers Kyborg a little wink as he slyly opens up his pack to show you Sordo is hidden inside. I still hate you.

So yeah, each of you is still chained up around the bonfire and you hear the boom growing in intensity in the distance. This is going to get bad. Bart, why don't you, I just feel some sort of connection between you and Hugh Manor. Maybe you should seduce him. Just kiss him. Tied up. Bart lowers his eyes down and looks up.

And raises one eyebrow and goes, Hugh, Hugh, baby, baby Hugh, Hugh, don't do this to us. Hugh seems very distraught and nervous, like looking around frantically, trying to see where the source of the booming noise is coming from. Or is it love? That's my heart beating for you, Hugh. Hmm.

Roll a, what would that be? What have we had to do before? Is that performance? I think it's performance. Yeah, sure. Go ahead and roll a performance. I don't know if it's performance, if it's authentic though, you know? I just, I feel a connection between these two. A 12. 12. He looks at you, Bart, and says, I have no time for this right now. I am in danger.

Untie us and we'll, we know the creatures. We've learned, we've become them. Nothing, nothing gets the heart pumping like danger, huh? He walks away from you towards the other side of the camp, trying to figure out where, you see him still looking around frantically, trying to see where the sound's coming from. Mud, can you transform into some weird animal and then slither your way out of your restraints?

I'm gonna put a little marker on my notes every time you guys ask me to turn into animal to solve the problem. Kyborg, make a wisdom check. Ah, yes, my strongest skill. That's a 10. You seem to remember that you might have something in your pack that could help with this. Is it thieves tools? Pushing you towards the answer. It's thieves tools. Ah, yes.

So, I use those. Cut yourself free. What? Cut yourself free. Oh, I cut, I use the thieves tools and I get myself out. Yeah. Go ahead and roll, I guess we'll say, let's roll a dexterity check to see if you're able to use the thieves tools successfully. That's a seven. You seem to be struggling with it, but Brink gives you a hand. He goes, here.

Allow me. I still hate you. I still hate you. He gives you a very dry smile. You're not able to pop open the lock, but he's able to very quickly and easily unchain you. And you work down the line and free the rest of your party. You hear the T-Rex growl. But where is it? Everyone go ahead and roll a perception check. Oh, no. Standing right above us. Five. My thralls in the Lord. I did a nat 20. 11.

17. I love that a nat 20 for Gum-Gum works out to a 19. Kyborg, you don't spot the T-Rex, but you do notice the sun is about to rise in the east. Mud, you spot a red eye high above you peering down from some thick bushes at the cliff's edge. And Barton Gum-Gum, the approaching morning light to the east reveals an archaic stone path heading eastbound towards some tall, hazy structures in the distance. They look familiar, but ancient.

What's with the stone structures? And where's the dinosaur? What direction is it? I can see an eye. Oh, can you? You think it's above you. It's in some thick bushes at the cliff's edge to the north. To the north. And the statues to the east. And where did they run off to? Everyone in the camp is just scrambling around. They're trying to figure out where the sounds are coming from. We're supposed to get glass, right? Yeah. He's the glass guy. We need to kidnap him.

Wham! Two massive and scaly heat land on top of the northernmost tent, crushing it into the soggy ground. Debris and mud fly everywhere with a loud splat. The T-Rex raises his horrendous jaws into the air and lets out a furious wail. Everyone scampers out of sight, hiding behind anything they can.

I don't know what to do. I guess, yeah, I'm a tiger still. Well, everybody now. Mud goes for hiding as well. I don't think this is a fight that we really want to go at right now. So like, I guess wherever Hugh, where's the baby? Where's the baby?

Hugh has the baby in his hands. Okay, then wherever Hugh went off to, I pursue. Okay. The raging reptile spots Hugh with the baby T on the ground and launches its clawed foot into the trembling man, pinning him into the sopping soil.

Oh, please, no! I wasn't going to eat the creature. I was just looking after it, yes, while you were away. The T-Rex growls and leans down. Uh-oh. He was looking around for help, but his forces have scattered. He finally spots you, Mud, since you were running towards him. And he says, Mud, I'll give you anything you want. Just save me from this beast. Uh...

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