C01 - Ep. 13 - Deja Ürbloom - A Fine Howie Do You Do
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This is a Rooster Teeth production. Goldenawpen, Abjurs, and Archmages, teleport on in to the Stinky Dragon and imbibe our latest brew, the Wizzenbuff Wheat Beer. It has layers of malted barley that have been buffed and rebuffed again and again till not one sip tastes like the other. Last time our adventurers exchanged blows with Brink Tussler, but were interrupted by bell chimes and the symphony from Sleek the Infinite.

They reluctantly join forces with Brink to figure out this musical mystery, but they can't seem to keep track of when or where they are. Can their old friend Wilhelm offer any discernment amongst all this dissonance? Take a seat for a spill and let's see how the story's cast. Everyone go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw. Oh man. Not my strongest. A lot's happening very fast. Four. Wait, I'm lucky so I could do it again if I get a one? Yes, you can. I got a one. Thirteen. But I'm not lucky. Four.

It's a zero. Gum-Gum has a zero on his wisdom saving throw. All right, so... I got 20. And Bart succeed. Kyborg and Gum-Gum feel real tired, and they're struggling to keep their... Oh, Kyborg is immune to magic sleep. Magic can't put me to sleep. Yeah, Gum-Gum gets real tired. Gum-Gum go nannies.

Maybe it's time for just for a little nap. But lucky for you, Amanda and the remaining willows fall limp to the ground and they begin to snore along with Gum-Gum.

- All right. - Good night. - A satyr dressed in coat and tail strolls down the stairs holding a raised baton. It's Wilhelm. - Hey! - Wilhelm! - Gunntaggian turns. It seems we have much to talk about and little time to do so. You should come upstairs to my quarters. Quickly now, that facsimile won't be asleep for very long. - Hey, Kaybor, could you put Gum-Gum on top of me and I'll carry him up the, to upstairs?

Sure. For once, the camel thing makes sense. Yeah, you were speaking about that a second ago. Look how great it is now. You want to hold this man? No. I mean, it would be a show of strength, but no, not really. All right. Do I need to do a strength check to put him on or anything? No, I will say you're able to do it no problem. That's right, because I'm super strong. Yeah, luckily the vines all loosened as Amanda fell asleep, so you're able to free yourself and everyone out of the grapple.

This is a TikTok household. What? It's a Vine joke. Oh. I didn't get it.

I make thinking man jokes, guys. Yep. Top tier. When we get to the top and I get gum gum off of me, I'm going to turn back into mud. Back into mud. Okay. Like I said, Wilhelm is dressed in coattails. And just as a reminder from your previous knowledge, he has seven floating magical instruments around him. And so you all follow Wilhelm and his instruments as he leads you upstairs to the second floor of the pub. The hallway is covered in sprawling ivy and moist lichen.

Wilhelm opens the first door on the left and ushers you all inside. You enter into a cozy suite filled with foliage. It has a king-sized bed with a natural canopy, a large table with a bouquet of flowers, and a wooden bath basin. Wilhelm waves his baton, and the door closes automatically. As it locks, it becomes see-through.

That's so I can keep an eye on who's approaching the door. Please take a seat anywhere you like. I'm sure you are no doubt aware of Sleek's presence in the city and have noticed that time is behaving rather oddly. Well, I'm afraid that it is partly my fault. Would anyone like a drink of Glirvine? Oh, what's Glirvine? Mmm, it's a hot beverage made of red wine, mulling spices, and fruit. You know, that sounds pretty tasty and I am quite parched. I'd love one. I'm always down for a good beverage.

Wilhelm pours some Glirvine for Bart and Kyborg. I appreciate the offer, but I'm going to pass. Thank you. As he's pouring Bart's drink, Bart takes a look at Wilhelm and can't help but notice what beautiful eyes he has and is a little smitten as well. Well, maybe it's the look in Wilhelm's eyes. Maybe it's the Glirvine. But Bart, you get back five hit points. Kyborg, you get back eight.

I assume I'm still asleep, right? Yeah, yeah. Nobody's woken up Gum-Gum, so he's still Mimi's over there. I'll take Gum-Gums. He had a long day at the dog park. He's all tuckered out. Let him have his short rest. Can this count, this short rest? Or rest? Ha ha ha.

Yeah, if they let you sleep a little bit longer, you can count it as a short rest. You see, I know Sleek. He came to me at my music studio years ago to study under my tutelage, being the maestro that I am. I could see from the beginning he was a natural virtuoso and leaped at the chance to train such a gifted musician. Surely you've had someone that's invested their time and talent into you? Someone that shaped you into the heroes you are today? Tutelage. Tutelage.

They're just stuck on a word. Okay. Anyway, Sleek and I spent week after week together in musical exercises and honing his ear to pitch perfection, but I wouldn't let him perform for an audience until I felt he was ready. One day he came to me with an unfinished musical composition. It was a beautiful symphony he couldn't seem to complete.

I, of all people, know how it feels to have writer's block with an unfinished song, so I helped them with it, of course. But the more we worked on it, the more obsessed he became with it. He began insisting that everyone should hear his symphony. He was starving for an audience, but I felt he still wasn't ready. That is, he was certainly talented enough, but I felt he wasn't ready for rejection. Have any of you ever felt rejection? No. Every day of my life. Oh, yeah, all the time. But we power through. Mm-hmm.

Well, he didn't listen and he ran off who knows where. And I suppose to perform his symphony. And now it seems he has finally found his audience. I'm not sure how he's manipulating time. But what I do know is the last time I heard his symphony, it had five movements. I actually have a handwritten copy of an outline that Sleek and I drew up for his symphony. It's on the table over there. He points to a piece of paper on the table filled with flowers. Hmm.

Mud goes over and looks at it. It's an overview of the five movements for Sleek's Symphony. It's actually quite the coincidence my partner Howie and I are in town because he is quite fascinated with time. Apparently, Urbloom is known to have unusual flowers that grow year-round. For some reason, they never seem to be affected by time. Your friend Howie, we were looking for Howie, but we got sent to this pub. Where is Howie? Hmm?

I'm actually quite worried about him. He stepped out only moments ago to get some supplies, but he hasn't come back and I'm afraid something has happened to him. He suffers from short-term memory loss and can be quite absent-minded. I'd go myself to find Howie, but I can't leave Little. And he looks into the corner of the room. He sighs and waves his baton. Suddenly a wicker bassinet appears in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth.

He reaches inside and hopes up a baby... Sator? Looks like a small four-legged satyr. It neighs with a toothless smile as Wilhelm offers her some grass to eat. I can't leave little Pip here by herself. In here, I can conceal and protect her and myself, but out there, who knows what could happen. So what do you say? Will you help Pip find her other dad, Howie? Uh, would love to. Definitely if that's got to help the situation. Yeah. Do you have any idea of like maybe a direction we could go to look for Howie?

Oh, thank you so much. I know Howie wouldn't have traveled far. He likely would have stayed within the Grubdorf district, but there are a couple of businesses across from the pub and either one might have piqued his interest. Are we able to take a short rest? Yeah, we can count this as a short rest here. All right. Then what we're going to do is we're going to take a short rest after fighting Amanda. She hurt us bad. And then we'll go look for Howie. Sound good?

I'm asleep. I'm asleep. Could someone respond to me? Could someone answer me? I'm asleep. Yeah, let's do it. Yes. Uh, you guys, you're the best. Wait, so, uh, would Gum Gum be taking a long rest then? Because, I mean, he's been out for a while. It hasn't been that long. He's short rest. Let the little guy sleep, Gus. Come on. I feel bad because I shot him with the two arrows and he exploded. He would have to be out for like eight hours if you want like a long rest. Uh,

You do have a healing potion you could give him if you really feel guilty about that, by the way. I absolutely would love to do that. Gum Gum, I want to give you a... I'm still asleep. He's still sleeping. I tuck it into your arms like it's a little teddy bear. Pour it into his mouth.

Oh, that's nice. And I give him a pat on the head. While you all are resting, Wilhelm gives you a little more information. He lets you know that the two businesses he was talking about are a bakery and an apothecary, and they're on the other side of the courtyard and not far away at all. It might be a good idea to split up if you wanted to, to try to approach both businesses at

the same time in order to try to find howie more quickly you may want to find another way out of the pub because the front door is blocked by uh amanda and to be clear is the entire city getting all wrapped up in vines is it like chaos everywhere with the weird time stuff going on you haven't you haven't been outside yet other than before we transport it to the pub right okay

Okay. Should we split the party? Yeah, let's split the party. Always a good idea. I mean, if Sordo recommends it, we gotta listen to him. Who's a matchup that we haven't seen yet? I don't think I've hung out with Kyborg. You wanna hang out? Yeah. Someone ought to wake me up so I can... I'm gonna let your partner wake you up. Bart goes over to Gum Gum and starts playing his drum. His drum.

Gum, gum, gum, gum, gum, gum, gum, gum, gum. Morning, sunshine. Morning. Is the Bargain Gum Gum team named Bum Bum? Nice. Yes. Team Bum Bum. Bum Bum Bum Bum. Yeah. Brink chimes and says, I'm going with you two. I forgot he was here. I mostly want to stay away from that one. Points over the direction of Kyborg. Whoa.

And Sordo chimes in and says, in that case, I'll follow along with Kyborg and Mud. Can we see out the window to like see what these two establishments are? Yeah, across the courtyard, you can see the other two businesses there. Go ahead and make a nature check for me. 18. While looking at the window, you also notice that there's vines crawling alongside the pub. You might be able to use them to climb down out onto the street below if you wanted to.

Can I tell what the two businesses are? Just so we can make a plan. Oh, yeah. There's a bakery and an apothecary. The bakery is on the left-hand side. Then there's like a little pathway through to the Glockentower. Then the right-hand side is where the apothecary is. Bart and Gum-Gum, which one do you want to go to? I have no idea. Where are we? You know, Bart also, his stomach's rumbling a little bit. So the bakery is calling to me.

How did I not guess that you were going to go to the bakery? Apothecary is a place who prepares and sells medicines and drugs. I was just worried that Gum Gum wouldn't be able to pronounce apothecary, so...

And Kyborg definitely didn't Google apothecary. No. Webster's Dictionary defines apothecary as. He delivered that so naturally. Okay. So we can go out this window and there's some vines for us to climb down and then we're going to split off and go to our respective businesses to look for Howie. And who's Howie? It's even easier. You're going to go to a bakery with Bart. Okay.

You did remember Howie. Howie is who Brink mentioned earlier as the person who could help you figure out what's going on. He's a Canadian comedian who was on Deal or No Deal with monsters. Blaine's been trying to make Howie Mandel jokes his entire time. And they've all been failing. Gremlins. Walk Like a Man. Classic. Yes, yes, yes. Walk like a man. Bobby's World. Classic. Oh, yeah. Bobby's World. So, you guys ready to get going? Split the party.

Okay, we'll go ahead and do the bakery first because it's on the left-hand side. And we'll go left to right. Bart and Gum Gum. You spot a quaint square building with the smell of baked bread wafting from its chimney. A sign in the window reads, Ware Dough Bakery.

You open the door and your feet are greeted with a soft bed of grass. Overhead are floating miniature suns filling the meadow-like room with bright light. The scent of baked goods, both sweet and savory, fills your noses. Surrounding the room are display cases, countertops, shelves, and tables filled with mouth-watering pastries and doughy treats.

Behind the counters on either side of the bakery are hairy dwarves wearing animal furs from head to toe. And in the back, near some ovens and workstations, is a third hairy dwarf also dressed in furs. They're hairy. Bart walks in and immediately his eyes get really big because his stomach is just growling like crazy. He has not eaten in a really long time.

Well, you can see there's a maple wood countertop with someone standing behind it. And behind them are shelves upon shelves holding different kinds of bread. He wants to go up to the counter and inquire about said breads. Hello. Uh...

What a beautiful bakery you have here. Mind if I take a look at your selection? This particular dwarf you're talking to is wearing a gray wolf hood. It has a name tag that reads Banshee. Banshee says, oh, yeah, we have all kinds of breads here. Starts pointing at the shelves behind themselves and says, we have some sourdough rolls. We got some Sawyer's flatbread. We got some brew bread. We got Yurtenbrühe. You know, sourdough sounds pretty good right now.

Gum gum. Gum gum, are you hungry too? Yeah, I'm hungry. You're drooling looking at these breads and when you notice that there's another glass case off to the side that seems like it has sweet pastries in it if you're also interested in that. And there's a different dwarf over there by the glass display cases. Can I get a donut?

You want a donut? Okay, let's go ask about the sweet pastries. Over there by the glass cases is a silky-haired dwarf wearing a striped tiger hood and a name tag that reads Lemon. Lemon's standing behind the glass display case filled with decadent pastries and pies. Lemon begins pointing out the different options available to you. He says, we have drag nuts, we got barky bickies, we got comfroot pie, we got root cake. What sounds good to you, Gum Gum? I want fruit pie. I want comfroot pie. Fruit pie.

Comfruit? Comfruit. Comfruit. Totally heard that correctly. All right. Lemon. Is that your real name? Yes. Lemon. Delicious. Delicious lemon. That's how I always greet clerics when they have names. Is that your real name? Real name. I would like to purchase a comfruit pie. Okay.

For my friend here. Delicious. It's a pie made with fresh local fruits that taste like a spoonful of sugar. But make sure you eat it within a day. Or else what? Oh, then it's not so tasty. You die. The best pie date. Five copper pieces. I don't have any copper. You give them a silver and they'll give you change. It's 10 to 1. Okay. Oh, thank you very much. Here is your comfruit pie.

Here you go, Gum Gum. And he just eats the whole thing. Gum Gum, you recover five hit points when you eat that. Not even a bite for your old buddy, Barney. I'm sorry. Can I get one more gum fruit? Bye. I'm going to get some sourdough bread, actually. Goes back over to Banshee. Says, ooh, our sourdough rolls are their glistening rolls with freshly drizzled butter and a garnish of parsley and paprika. All right. Lay it on me. There you go. Five copper.

Okay. And Bart eats it as well, all in one bite. He wants to impress Gum Gum. And I was going to buy another one for Bart. Another sourdough roll? No, comfruit pie. Oh, okay. Okay.

How do you think I got to be 150 pounds? You also notice that there's yet another dwarf. He's not in front of anything, selling anything, but it seems like he's putting together ingredients, trying to actually bake something at the moment. Let's go talk to him. So this is a fuzzy dwarf wearing a brown bear hood and a name tag that reads Rhine. It says...

Oh, hello. Would you all care to help? I'm trying to figure out the most tasty recipe for bread. Something that'll really draw the customers in. I can give you some free samples after it's baked. You just have to help me figure out what to put into it. Okay. I think there's maybe something else you could do for us in return if we help you. Bart comes in a little closer. What's that? We're looking for a fella named Howie. You ever heard of this fella? Seen this fella around here, these parts?

Howie, Howie. Yeah, I've seen Howie. I haven't seen him for a little while, but he comes in here every now and then to buy bread. How's Howie doing? That's the thing. We don't know where he is, so we don't know how he's doing. Howie's doing. Hey-o. I can't say. I wish I could tell you. I don't think I've seen Howie recently. Where does Howie go?

Come from. Howie lives with Wilhelm just outside of town. Sorry we don't see him too often. It's been a little while since I've seen him. Could I use my ring of truth on him? Yeah. Go ahead and make an insight check at advantage. Oh, I got a nat 20, 25. Ooh. You do not sense any deception. Okay.

Bart now knows Ryan's pin code for his bank. He says, but, you know, we can try to figure out what's going on with Howie once you help me figure out my bread. Sounds good. And he points to a bunch of ingredients he has laid out in front of him. Which of these do you think I should add in? I've got misty puff crumbs, wobble feet wheat, blaze drop beans, sour spray seeds, crack ripple grains, and flurry fruit powder. Just blaze. All of the above?

All of them? Ooh. An everything loaf of bread. Yeah. That's bold. I like it. Ryan throws all the ingredients into a large mixing bowl and forcefully churns the lumpy mush into a smooth blend. He then pours the mix into several trays and shoves them into a few glazing ovens. But while that's going on, we're going to do a smash cut over to the apothecary and deal with them, and then we're going to come back and resolve the thing. An apothecary, which is what, Blaine? Woo!

Medicine. That's what I said as soon as we just entered the apothecary. That's what I just said. There's all this medicine around us. Kyborg in mud, you see an L-shaped building surrounded by bird feeders, bones, and bowls of water. A sign overhead reads apothecary, but it's spelled A-P-A-W-T-H-E-C-A-R-Y. Oh, a paw. Yeah. Oh, it's an animal paw.

You open the door to a cacophony of chirps, barks, and meows. Along every wall are small cages of adorable baby animals, all surrounding Kyborg, who's yelling medicine. Dangling overhead are charming birdhouses where tiny birds flutter between roosts in the high ceiling. And in the back, you notice a long wooden countertop and a swinging doorway that leads to the second half of the shop.

Behind the counter is a smiling stout dwarf with rosy cheeks wearing a long cloak covered in pockets and pouches. She's holding a shepherd's crook with a baby owl perched atop hooting happily. At the moment, she looks to be feeding a little ferret sitting on her broad shoulders.

Wait, hold up. How many animals am I looking at right now? What animals am I seeing? I get to add these. Owls? I'm adding an owl. He's like Neo in the Matrix. He's just downloading all this information. His eyes are fluttering. I know pets. You saw an owl. You definitely saw a ferret. I know pet food.

There's also a lot of mundane animals we've seen before, like dogs, cats. There's like dragons in here, right? I can't turn into that anyways. But owl and ferret, any other, like, is there like a kitty? Yeah, there's cats. Is there any flying snakes? Flying snakes? No, you do not see any flying snakes. Hey, Mud, what if we buy a snake?

and then one of us magic dorks casts a spell to make it fly, and then we totally prank Brink Tussler. That would normally be such a good use of our time right now, if not for the fact that we're actually trying to accomplish something. So...

While you fester in your vendettas, I'd like to... I forgot to mention, there is actually a list of animals in cages here that I can read to you that you do see if you're curious about... Oh, I absolutely am. Add to my menagerie, my dude. You see a badger cub. You see a pocket frog. You see a metal fish. You see a sea otter, a kindle kitty, and a hyena puppy. You gotta be a sea otter. And then a hyena puppy? Yeah. Yeah.

It's a hyena, but it's a baby. Alright. So, and then the owl. Yes, and the ferret. And they all have prices on them. They're all available for purchase here at the Apothecary. And you're free to pet them if you want. Yeah, okay. Oh, mud is very torn right now because I want to spend time with all the animals. Let's talk to this person. Let's introduce ourselves. Okay. Okay.

Hello, my name is Mud and this is my friend Kyborg. Oh, welcome to the apothecary. I'm Lush Bredwyn. What can I do for you? Are you looking for a familiar or a pet? Would you like me to introduce you to any of our furry friends? Or our not-so-furry friends? Yes.

I'm eyeing this badger a lot. Badgers are big fans of burrowing and dirt, so I feel a connection to them. That badger, he does prefer being alone and underground. He'd be very moody. He's a temperamental badger. You're just reading from a diary. How much is the badger if I were to procure it for a pet?

The badger is available for the low low price of 50 gold pieces. A son of a monkey! Why would- Why? How much do you have? How much do you have? I only got like 24. I can- I can- Hey, I can spot you at the 26 if you want. Oh, am I gonna blow all my money on a badger? It is a badger. Mushroom, mushroom. I spent all my money. Good one, Barbara. It's very good.

Yeah, I want a badger. This is a mud character call. He would spend all his money to get a friend like this. Alright, I'm removing 26 gold from my inventory. Oh, I love you, my friend. I owe you. Put that down on your character that I owe you. I like that the onus to keep track of the money is on the lender. It is!

Lush collects the 50 gold pieces from you, walks over to the badger cage, unlocks it, pulls out the badger and hands it to you and says, "Oh, you have to give it a name!" Yes, um... I will call this little badger... Gumbo. Gumbo? Yeah, Gumbo.

You say gumbo, the badger looks at you and it headbutts you. I love it. Like in a cute way or in like an attacked him way? Seems like a annoyed kind of way. Oh, we're going to be great friends. I know it. Is there any like juice or anything around that I can dip my thumb in and go gumbo while rubbing it across the forehead? What's the lady's name? Oh, Lush Breadwin. I wrote it down.

Lush, I have one question. What does the badger prefer to eat? I want to make sure I feed him properly. I think it's stouts and weasels. Listen, last time we did a campaign and I had a pet and I didn't feed it, it ran away. So we're not doing that again. Oh, badgers are carnivorous. They like to eat rodents like gophers, squirrels, moles, prairie dogs. Hamsters? Hamsters?

They can also eat birds and lizards, fish, just about anything, but definitely have to eat meat. Snakes? Do they eat flying snakes? Oh, a snake? Yeah, they would absolutely eat a snake. Cool. Give a mental note. Okay. I want to pet Gumbo to try to, like, endear Gumbo towards me. Make an animal handling check. I'm so glad you asked that.

I rolled a 1 plus 7, 8. Oh no. Yeah, you- I don't know, you're trying to pet Gumbo, but maybe you don't realize that you're holding him upside down. He's just fidgeting like crazy. He does not seem happy. Oh, this is gonna be- Can I try to calm Gumbo by also petting him? Uh, yeah, make an animal handling roll. I assume you're not holding him, that mud is holding him and you're trying to pet him? Yeah. Mud, that cool? Can I pet the little guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, here we go. It's 14.

He doesn't seem as displeased. It just seems... It still seems annoyed, but... Oh, he likes his Uncle Kyborg. Oh, little guy. Lush interjects to answer an earlier question that you had, Kyborg. It says, we don't have any potions up here, but we do have some in the back in the other storeroom over there. If you want to go shop over there, you can find potions. Oh, there's a second half to the shop. Medicine! Medicine!

Guyborg just wants supplements. Are we looking for... Are we looking for Howie? We're looking for Howie, right? Oh, that's right. I got distracted by the badger. Walked in, saw a pet, and immediately just went straight to it. Hey, Lush, we're looking for a missing person. We're on a case. And their name is Howie. You ever seen a person named Howie?

Oh, I haven't noticed. I've been feeding the animals here recently, so I've been pretty preoccupied with that. So I can't say for certain. Nobody's bought anything, but I've been here.

Hey, sir, perhaps another clerk in the back? No, it's just me here right now, but we do have more merchandise in the back. I wouldn't mind taking a look at the merchandise in the back. Yeah, let's go to see the medicine. You open the swinging door to a room lined with shelves and shelves of bottled potions, pet trinkets, and animal enclosures.

Standing at the far wall is a gray-maned centaur with salt and pepper curly goatee. He's wearing spectacles with ear loops and a small satchel. He's fixatedly reading the fine print on a bottle in his hand. That's another customer. I go up and I say, Hello! I'm Kyborg. What's your name?

Oh, hello. Nice to meet you, Kyborg. I'm Howie. It's Howie! We found him. We did it! High five. Roll for high five. Rolling for high five. That is a two. That is an eight. No, you all go to high five and Kyborg hits Mud in the face somehow, even though his face is really high up in the air and Mud just whiffs entirely. Sweet. I'm glad we did this in front of Howie. Yeah. Howie, we have been searching for you.

Wilhelm needs you. Oh, Wilhelm? Yes. What is Wilhelm up to? Is everything okay? Making music. He saved our butts from some sentient vines. It was scary. How's Pip? Is everything okay with Pip?

Pip is doing good. Pip is fine. Wilhelm is watching. Pip, would you mind coming with us across the street to the pub? Oh, no, no, no, not at all. I'm trying to buy a surprise for Wilhelm. I want to get a new pet. I just don't know which one to get. There's so many options. You do know you're in the back of the shop where there's no pets. Yeah. Yeah, but I thought this might help. He shows you he's holding a potion of animal friendship. Oh, that's cool.

I think I might need that. You might need that. Yeah.

Is there a price tag on it? Yeah, it says 30 gold. Cool. The economy in Urbloom is just out of control. Magic items are expensive. I talk to Lush. Lush, we just bought the badger. We want to give it a long, happy life. We want to make sure that mud's off on the right foot. Can you, like, give us a discount on the animal handling potion, please? Go ahead and make a charisma check. Oh, my strongest one. Yes.

That's a six. Lush says, no, I'm sorry, that's 30 gold. That's the lowest price that we can let that go for. I got like 90 gold. No, I don't want to spend 30. I appreciate it. That's very nice of you. Howie, okay, so you've got a bottle of animal friendship. Are you planning on using that as some sort of protected animal or something?

Yeah, yes, that's right. That's it. Wilhelm. I want to surprise Wilhelm with a pet, but I don't know which one. Would you like us to help you figure out which pet? Do we need to take like a BuzzFeed quiz or what? Oh, I see you have a badger. Is that a good pet? Do you like that pet? Asa, I love it personally, but maybe we get something for Wilhelm that's a little bit...

An easier starter pet. Where are the pets? They're in the front of the store that you pass through to get to here. Yep. Oh, okay. Okay. He turns around and puts the bottle back on the shelf and then turns to face you again and says, oh, hello. Who might you be? Can I perceive real quick to see if something, if like there's like a, I don't know.

tumor or something, something going on with MRI in your, uh, in your pocket and your role for MRI. Uh, Wilhelm said he, he suffers from a short-term memory loss. Yeah, but I mean, this is, this is severe. Is there something like, nevermind, nevermind. Sorry. Sorry. Okay. Howie, it's good friend, mud and cyborg. How'd he do? Uh, you,

You are looking for a pet for Wilhelm. Pip is taken care of. Everything's cool. We just need to get you over to Wilhelm ASAP. You hear that same loop playing music that you heard earlier. Suddenly, the lights go out. Everything goes black. This is not good. We're back with Bart and Gum-Gum.

You hear a kaboom followed by a splat and it feels like you're covered in a thick slurry. Oh my god. You hear Ryan's voice say, what the crumb cake? Is everyone okay? Banshee yells out, of course not, Ryan. I can't see a thing and I'm covered in goop. Lemon calls out, calm down, Banshee. We just need to turn the lumen balls back on. Here, I'll do it. Ryan yells, no, wait, Lemon, I got it. You hear clapping.

The floating spheres illuminate once again, but they are dimmer and emitting a cool hue of light. You look up and see several small full moons floating overhead. Snarls and howls fill the room as the three dwarves shapeshift into ravenous beasts. A bear, a tiger, and a wolf. What? You also notice that the slurry that's covering you in the room is now quickly rising and you seem to be sinking. In the dough? Yes, it's quickly rising and engulfing you.

Oh, my God. Too much gluten. Oh, there's so much gluten.

Okay. But it's also trapped three ravenous beasts as well, and they're struggling in the dome. Wait, so why did they transform? I don't know. I think the music was in our space. Everyone hears the music. Oh, okay. Everyone hears the music, and it made the dwarves into beasts. They were wearing those clothing. Yeah. They were wearing, it was like a- It was like a tiger hoodie. Tiger and wolf. Yeah. Interesting. All right, well, have fun in your murder bakery.

What do you guys want to do? Is the dough cooked? No. It's like when you leave... I don't know if you ever bake bread. Like, you leave dough out and it rises. That's what it's doing. It's still raw dough that's rising. Both of you go ahead and roll a perception check. I got a one, but I'm doing that again because I'm lucky. Yeah. You use that skill a lot. Nine. I got a...

Three. Yeah, you're still really confused. You're not quite sure exactly what's going on in here. Okay, so we're stuck in the dough, but so are they. Do they seem to be wanting to attack us? They're, like, thrashing around. Yeah, it seems like they're looking in your direction, but they're stuck in the dough. Okay. Doesn't dough, like, go squishy if you make noise or something? How does the dough fall? Oh.

If you make noise? Doesn't it- can't goat fall if you like don't do it right? I don't know anything about baking. Man, I really thought it would be a good idea to come here instead of the apothecary because I thought food would be simple.

Could I try to cast Sleep on all three of the dwarves? I guess beasts? Yeah, go ahead. You can try that. Roll 5d8. The total is how many hit points of creatures this spell can affect. Rolling. Covenant Hunt. We got 17. Oh, it's not a good roll. Not a great roll. Yeah, that doesn't affect any of them. That's too low of a roll. Jesus. Okay, can you paint a picture of what we see? There's the animals and the dough.

Yeah, it's like a... It's the same scene you saw earlier, you know, where there's different counters and glass cases and where the dwarves were. Obviously, now it's the beast. But there's now this dough everywhere. And the lights had gone out briefly, but then they were turned back on. But instead of suns, it's now a cool hue of light being emitted from full moons that are floating overhead.

The moons are making the light. And the dwarves turn that on? Yeah, they started clapping to try to turn the lights back on. Could we try to clap or are our hands kind of stuck? Yeah, you could struggle a bit. You can make like a strength check to see if you can move or to pull your hands out. Yeah, let's do that. Okay, smart observation. It's a 20. Oh my God, one, doing that again. Jeez. Oh my God, nine. I'm rolling like booboob.

Gum-Gum, you have a pretty good roll. What do you want to do? Do you want to try to move? Do you want to try to clap? What's your plan here? So is it sucking us up in the moment? Or is it like quicksand? Yeah, it's rising and simultaneously you're sinking into it. Okay. Kind of like rising around you. Before we clap, is there something I can grab hold of that pulls up? Yeah, you can pull yourself up, but Bart is still struggling a little bit.

I can't pull Bart up too? No. Well, I have rope though. Can I give him the rope and pull him up? Yeah, you'd have to make like a dexterity check, I guess, to try to like make sure you toss the rope into close enough to Bart so that Bart can grab it. Okay. I'll do that then. Do I have to do any check?

Uh, no, we'll see if the rope gets close enough first. Yeah, the rope gets tossed out to you. You're able to grab onto it, Bart. It's not a problem at all. Get the rope, and I, like, pull him up to wherever... I guess I'm, like, on the counter now? You're still, like, kind of stuck in the, uh, dough, but not as much. You're a lot more free now. We'll say it's, like, before it was, like, all encompassing, let's say, up to, like, your, uh, shoulders, but now it's, like, down to, like, your knees or so. Quick, come, come, get me out before I get a yeast infection! Uh, nice, nice. Uh...

Alright, alright. So, alright, then we clap! Am I still in the dough? I don't know if I could clap. No, I thought I pulled him up. Yeah, you're pulling Bart out. Bart can't act this turn because they had to pull themselves out, but if you want to clap, you can. Okay, then I clap? Alec, how many times do you clap? Uh, I guess five. Uh...

So then as you're clapping, the lights begin alternating between suns and moons back and forth, ultimately settling on suns.

The beasts return to dormant form and they look around confused. What happened? Is the dough still rising? Yeah, the dough is still rising a bit, but they're starting to pull themselves out from the dough and rise. They're like werewolves. Oh. They're like werewolves. I think at the moonlight, they turn into the animal form of whatever they are. It was the name of the bakery. What's the name of the bakery? Werdow. Werdow. Oh. I definitely spelled it in a different way.

Oh, I should have spelled it out. W-E-R-E-D-O-U-G-H. Banshee, Ryan, and Lemon are looking around, blaming each other. Like, you need to clean this up. No, you need to clean this up. This is your fault. This is your fault. Brink says, I'm not on. This is a waste of time. Let's try the next shop. Okay. Yeah, I mean, anything to get out of this dough catastrophe. I'm down for that. I like bread.

People like bread. You guys definitely did not rise to the occasion. There it is. Yeah, and what the hell did you do, Brink? Me? I swiped all of this. And he opens up his bag and shows you it's filled with sourdough. All right, okay, you've been redeemed.

Hey everyone, hope you're enjoying this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. We had a ton of fun with it. Hopefully it comes across. I hope you're having a ton of fun listening to it. If you are, can't reinforce it enough, the best way to help out the show is to tell a friend, engage on social media, use hashtag StinkyDragonPod or send us a tweet or message on Instagram at StinkyDragonPod. If you interact with us, we might even use your name as an NPC in an upcoming episode, just like Banshee, Lemon, and Rhyne, all from the bakery. They are named after StinkyDragonPod.

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a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

Everyone starts hearing loop music playing all around you like earlier. Smash cut back to Bart and Gum-Gum. Suddenly the lights go out and everything goes black. Crash, clang, ping. There's a raucous clattering coming from next door in the storefront.

There's a slam burst into the swinging doors as a stampede of giant animals. A giant hyena, a giant frog, and a giant owl tower over you. And gumbo the badger in your hands grows as well to a giant proportion. Howie yells, quick, let's get out of here. And Howie begins galloping toward the door. You hear a really deep hoot from the owl as it snatches Howie with its immense talent and swoops into the air. Howie!

You guys go ahead and roll initiative. That escalated quite quickly. Oh, Howie. I don't want to fight animals. Howie's a centaur, right? Yeah, yeah. Howie is a centaur. So this owl just picked up a horseman. Basically. Yikes. They're huge. I sent their message. Howie is a centaur.

I rolled a nine. I really don't want to kill animals though, John. I've already killed enough animals. But these ones are actually big enough that it's not so sad when you do it. No, it's so sad because they were pets not but 30 seconds ago, you know? Well, I mean, they weren't technically pets. They were still animals in a cage. Soon to be pets.

Mudd is both frightened of all of these large animals, but also just looking at them all and memorizing them all to be able to turn into all of them in their large forms. Oh, yeah. DM, can he turn into the giant versions of these animals now that he's seen them? No, he can only turn into the regular size version. Yeah, but I can still like, I like, I can turn into, you know, a full on hyena now. You can turn into a centaur.

I don't think that's on my list. No, no, I'm pretty sure that that's how this works. I'm pretty sure how that game works. Wait, can I turn it to a centaur version of mud would be my question. So like fear ball top, horsey bottom. No, let me check. No. Someone woke up cranky this morning. Name starts with a G. Ends with us. Ends with you guys. No, no.

I want to shoot something. How quickly you change. You go from not wanting to shoot animals to wanting to shoot them. Is there a chance that we could figure out a way to incorporate a velociraptor into the story? Because its CR rating is only one-fourth, and I could totally turn it into a velociraptor. I'm in agreement here. We'll have to take some kind of side trip to Jurassic Park, see some dinosaurs? There's a surprising amount of dinosaurs in this list of wild-shaped animals I can do. Okay.

Welcome to Jurassic Park. I just want to quote Muldoon the entire time. Yes, me. All John should be destroyed. Hello, John. Hello, John. Hello, John. Hello, John. Okay. Hello, John. Kyborg, your first question.

What do you want to do? Right, so we should get Howie down to help us with these animals, right? Yeah, I don't think Howie's gonna be reliable in a battle. The guy can't remember what color underwear he's wearing. Is there a clever way for us to deal with these four animals? Because we are outnumbered. Okay. I scan the walls of this pocket-thick carry, and I look for...

One more time? Flawless. Flawless. I want to see if there's any explosives or anything on the wall. You know, sometimes there's explosive chemicals and things. Cyborg would like to throw a Molotov cocktail at animals.

- Well, you remember that when you first found Howie, he was holding, and he showed you, he was holding that potion of animal friendship, which, you know, he has subsequently dropped once being picked up by the owl, and it's on the ground. On the shelves around you, you see some gauntlets, a ring, and a cage. - Can I take the, can I go over and get the animal caring potion?

Animal friendship? Yeah. Yeah. You'd be able to walk over and grab it. All right. I want to go get the animal juice. The potion of animal friendship. That's the animal juice. I want to do a somersault over to the potion and I want to chug it. Okay. Make an acrobatics check. That's a one. Kybor tries to somersault, but ends up face planning instead and is now lying prone on the ground after hitting it face first.

Was that my turn? Normally I'd let you get up, but you rolled a one. Okay, well, good thing I've got action surge. Here we go. I meant to do that. Hey, I meant to do that. Now I'm prone so I can crawl through all the chaos on my arms and legs. You got to stay low when there's danger above. Right. Because there's an owl carrying a centaur, so I needed to be low to the flow.

Blow to the flow. There we go. So then I walk over to it. No barrel rolls or somersaults. And I want to drink the potion. Okay. You go ahead and without paying for it, you uncork this potion of animal friendship and you quaff it. I think I chug it. I think that was the term I used. Oh, you chug it? But I need mud. The only way I can chug it is if he says chug, chug, chug.

Mud, do you want to join in? I'll wait. Mud refuses. I'll wait. Well, no. What Mud has just seen is Mud has just seen us in a very dire situation where there are giant animals attacking us, and you chose to do a terrible somersault that landed you flat on your face. You have inspired Mud, not at all, to be confident in what's going on. I think Kyborg refuses to drink. Kyborg stares at Mud until he yells, chug, chug, chug.

We're at an impasse. So then that's your turn? That's my turn. If he doesn't do it, so take seven. All right. So Kyborg tries to somersault, face plants, then acts like he meant to do it, crawls over to the potion of animal friendship, grabs it, and just stares daggers at Mud, who does not react at all to him.

Somewhere in the distance, you hear giant crickets chirping. I'm sticking to my character. My character would not be impressed by this. I am not. Mudd is not the guy who's trying to be the action star impressing everybody. And so if you're going to be that way, then Mudd's going to be like, what's going on? What are you doing? Fine. So it's part of Mudd. Fine. I'm staying to my character then. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine.

Looks like someone is an immovable rod. Mud takes one look at this cavalcade of animals. I think she has a fancy word.

Yeah, and I cast Pass Without a Trace, which is a buff that a veil of shadows and silence radiates from you, masking you and your companions from detection. Each creature I choose within the 30 feet of you has a plus 10 bonus to dexterity checks, which are stealth checks, and cannot be tracked except by magical means.

And I leave behind no tracks or other traces of passage. So who do you choose? What creatures do you choose to buff with Pass Without Trace? Hmm. Who do I want to choose? What I want to do is myself. Is there anybody else in the room? I think you've maxed out. Fine. Yeah.

Blaine, you okay? You got something in your throat, Blaine? It's this potion that I'm trying to drink, but I can't. Oh, man. I think Kyborg might be calling Dr. Man, if you hadn't, like, you know, behold some sort of a stunt of staring at me instead of, like, actually drinking the potion, I might, like, pass this, like, this whole stealth thing to you. I mean, that could have been a whole choice that I made. Fine.

I give it to Kyborg because I'm not a total bully. Okay, so it's you and Kyborg? Yes, we have now we've got the pass without trace buff. And then just in case you have somehow given one of these animals magical means to like find us.

I'm also going to cast because I believe it's a bonus action hidden step and I am Invisible as well. So I literally have this bonus. I'm just I'm I'm layering because I don't know what you have in store for me Gus Mm-hmm. So I've cast hidden step. It allows you to turn invisible until the start of your next turn Yeah, so I don't know the full landscape of this shop. I

But is there a place that I could get to either further away from the animals or pass by them? They would have. So they would have charged in from the front of the shop. So they would have come in through the swinging door. So they're kind of blocking that way. However, there is a back door. Oh, you know what?

Mud opens the door, but then steps aside and doesn't go through. Okay. And then what do you do? Like stand up against the wall right next to the door? Yeah, up against the wall. Let's say up against the wall. Yeah, that is all totally doable. From your perspective, Kyborg, Mud casts something, buffs the two of you, then turns invisible, and the back door to the apothecary opens up. I thought my turn was useless. All right.

Can I take back pass without a trace? Okay, well... Is that an option? Is that like a bonus action I could do? You shot your shot.

That was a good job, good strategy, John. I see what you're doing. I have a good thing to back up your idea. I'm going to play in this space. Okay, well, it's their turn. It doesn't seem like the animals are necessarily mad at you. They're not aggressive towards you. It just seems more like they're scared, right? They're just wild animals who are now huge and flailing around. It's like when a bird gets into a building or something.

You know, just kind of like flapping around all wild. And maybe you think the owl maybe inadvertently grabbed Howie. Some of them start making a break for the door. Gumbo definitely. Gumbo's still angry, though. He is crotchety, I did say. Yeah, he's going to go ahead and try to headbutt Kaibo.

I thought it was invisible. Are you invisible, Kyborg? He has a veil of shadows in silence masking him. Perfectly silent. Go ahead and roll a stealth check, Kyborg. That's a trace on you. Yeah.

That's a 20. Gumbo is just kind of like headbutting at random in that direction. Yeah, and he fails to... He's kind of... So he's just headbanging. Yeah, he charges headlong in that direction, flailing his head about. He goes ahead and makes a break for the door.

The frog doesn't necessarily know that you guys are there, but, you know, it's kind of a stupid frog. So it just lashes out with its tongue at one of the shelves and brings the shelf down, crashing to the ground. You know when Arnold hides himself in mud in Predator? Is that what you're doing? That's me, but with, like, large animal droppings.

So all of the items on the shelves crash down all around you, Kaibork, you're crawling around to stay low from the danger. So go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw. Okay. Eight. You take four points of damage from just glass peppering you. Fair. And now all of the items that I mentioned before that were on the shelves are scattered on the ground all around you. Okay. There's a gauntlet. There's a ring.

and a cage. So the hyena comes in, sniffs the air, making hyena noises. What would those be, Gus? Yeah, what would those hyena noises be, Gus? I need to be in the mode. Blue skidoo, we can too. It's a Blue's Clues reference. Oh, he did sound like Blue's Clues. He did sound a little bit like that. And just starts running around the room, thrashing all the merchandise that's around there. The hyena's got zoomies. Yeah, he's got zoomies.

The giant owl still has Howie in its grasp, and it's just kind of squeezing Howie tightly. You think it might be scared. It starts picking up some of the shattered wood and debris that's laying around the floor and seems to be piling it up in the corner. Oh, it's nesting. While holding onto Howie? Yeah. It's using its beak for that. Kyborg, what do you want to do? Mud. Actually, no, I whisper because I'm still in the mood. Mud. Mud.

I want to shoot a bursting arrow into the air and scare all the animals so that they'll either run away or drop the centaur guy and then run away. What do you think? I think you should specifically aim it at the owl. But what if I kill Howie?

You know what? Never mind. It's a chance I'm willing to take. Aren't you an archer? We're inside of a shop. You're like five feet from him. Yeah, true.

Also, I still have this animal handling potion. Throw it to me. If you want to yell chug, chug, chug. I have lots of animal handling ability already. If you give it to me, there's a good chance it would not go to waste. The way that this whole game works, though, I can only either throw the potion or take a shot. So I'm going to set the potion down. And then if you have like, what's the magic hand?

I don't have mage hands, but I do have feet that I can walk towards the potion. How are your throats and all this, by the way? You guys doing okay? I hear another voice. We're doing fine. Thank you for checking on us. Oh, this is metagaming. Okay, I'm going to put the potion down. All right. I'm still improne because I meant to do that.

And I aim my longbow. I can't make it clear enough. I don't believe you meant to do that. No, no, no. You want to roll a deception check, Kyborg? Do it. This is 10. And go ahead. You can roll an insight check, Mud. Oh, you're screwed. 18. Mud does not buy it for a second. Mud knows that Kyborg is trying to lie to him. Well, I guess that was my turn. Mud's pressed X for doubt.

Okay, I'm gonna- I'm gonna- From prone, I aim my arrow, my bow and arrow, and take an arcane shot using bursting arrow on the owl in the hopes that he'll drop the thing and that the other animals will be scared, hoopless, and leave the building. Yeah, go ahead and roll- make your attack roll. Oh, one? It's a nine. Whoa. God. You rolled a one. But- But does the bursting arrow still burst? Twice in the same fight. Does the bursting arrow still burst?

It went long. That's okay. It could still scare all the animals. He somehow shot it out the back door. You decide to use the arcane shot once the shot hits. Oh, so this is just a shot. Right. So this is a normal shot. And what arcane shot says is you decide to use the option when the arrow hits a creature. So no, it does not burst. But I had second thoughts. I didn't feel like hitting the centaur. I hate centaurs.

I don't believe him. He keeps lying to me. Do we need to do this again? I did that on purpose. It's a six. Great. I taught Kyborg how to make deception checks. That's a nine. Mud got a nine, but still better. Yeah, Mud is not buying that. Mud knows that he did not mean to miss. All right. Well, I guess I'll just lay here still. Oh, my God. You're taking a nice nap. Is Kyborg going to do anything useful this encounter? No.

Not quite. It's not. Mud, what do you want to do? I'd like to grab that potion. Okay, so Mud... Oh, wait, you're not invisible anymore. Your invisibility drops, so Mud pops back into view. I still have pass without a choice. Yeah. Go ahead and make a stealth check to move across the room, just so we know. That's it. 18? It's a 28. Plus 10, 28. Yeah.

All right. Yeah, you sneak over to the potion. Yeah, I down the whole thing. You chug it. Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. I down it. I'm not using that word. Chug, chug, chug. What's wrong with chug? It doesn't matter. I still cheer you on. I still cheered him on. You drink it, and from a metagame perspective, you can now cast animal friendship. But in-game, you feel a certain attunement to animals. You feel like you can understand them and what they're going through.

No, Dr. Doolittle. So what does the animal friendship thing do? It basically lets you convince a beast that you mean it no harm. So you choose one animal you see, and it must be able to see and hear you, which all of these obviously can. They have to make a wisdom saving throw, or basically it's like charm for animals. Mud understands the situation, but Mud also sees who is still in the shop. You're in the back room. It's just you and Kyborg and the animals and Howie being held by the owl. Okay, so none of the animals have left.

Right. You remember that Lush was in the other room, the shopkeeper, but you have not seen Lush. Mud selfishly takes this opportunity to turn to Gumbo and says, Gumbo, it's me. I mean you no harm. I need you to calm down.

And come here, little buddy. Come here. Come here. And he's like motioning to like approach Gumbo and like give Gumbo like a little head pat. Gumbo gets to make a wisdom saving throw. Gumbo rolls a one. That's my boy. That's my boy. So dumb. So innocent. So, yeah, Gumbo seems to remember you or seems to recognize you and comes over and seems like he's putting his head up in your hand. He's trying to get you to pat his head. That's our good boy.

Which one is Gumball? What kind of animal is he? He's a giant badger. He's a good boy. Oh, Kyborg's laying on the ground just eating this up. Oh, that's my good boy. Okay, that's my turn. What are y'all... What is your plan? What are y'all doing? That's a good question, Chris. I don't think Kyborg's done anything and Mud is petting a badger.

Like, what? Go on, go on. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I'm just like, where's this going? Where this is going is that I'm cementing a lifelong friendship with a furry friend. While ruining your others. I'm resting my legs. So it's their turn. We need to up the stakes here. The owl still seems like it's nesting. Howie starts screaming, ah!

Do you think that maybe, uh, Howie's getting squeezed a little tighter in the talons of this, uh, of this owl? I take a shot at the owl. That's a 25. There we go. Okay. You hit the owl with an arrow. But it's a bursting shot. So I'm hoping that he'll drop the Howie and scare the other animals out of the building except for the badger because I helped, I just remembered I helped Mud pay for that badger.

And that badger better not go. Yeah. Yeah. And you couldn't even tell me chug, chug, chug. But that's besides the point.

All right. Well, first of all, go ahead and roll your damage for the owl. All right. 11 points of damage. And then roll your bursting shot. 2d6. 7 points of damage. The bursting shot affects the owl. It definitely affects Howie. Howie takes 7 points of damage. And is it loud? Not loud as hell. It's a bursting arrow, bro. Sure. We'll say that it startles everyone. So you hit...

the owl with an arrow, which then bursts once it comes into contact with the arrow, killing the owl who falls over into its nest. As it releases Howie, Howie then takes seven points of damage and starts screaming in pain, rolling around in the crude rudimentary beginnings of a nest. Just splintered wood and nails.

Another one bites the dust. The bursting scares all of the animals, the hyena, the frog, who bolt for the open door and run outside. The badger is also scared. I guess roll an animal handling check, Mud. It's 12. We'll say you're able to keep the badger calm enough to where it doesn't run away. I also want to point out that all this was done from prone. I have not moved a single centimeter. While shelves have literally been toppling over you. That's right. One

Once Howie is freehand rolling around, Sordo chimes in and says, Hurry up. Let's get out of here and meet up with the others. We found Howie. Okay. All right. I stand up. I go over to Howie and say, Howie, we saved you. You're welcome. He stands up to look at you with splinters and little shards of glass sticking out of him from all different angles. He says, Thank you. I guess. Have we met before? Oh, yeah.

Yes, Wilhelm sent us to get you. Can we take you to Wilhelm, please? Oh, yes. I was going to buy a pet for Wilhelm. Let me look around. No pets. No pets. Are you sure? Well, okay, okay. Another day, perhaps. So the respective split-up parties all manage to escape your respective shops and find each other in the district courtyard. You meet up and see each other again for the first time in a few minutes. Yay!

We did it. Guys, you wouldn't believe what just happened to us. What happened to you guys? You're not ready to hear it. What do you guys want to happen? Oh, my God. How long was Barb holding that in? Literally just thought of it now. So full disclosure. Oh, nice. You saw the opportunity and you rose to it. Hey.

We found Howie. He's here. And then we've also found a pet for me. Why is Kyborg covered in poo? It's a long story. But let's just say that I got my man.

You're a centaur. Brink chimes in and says, Aren't we supposed to signal Wilhelm or find the way to get this hoofed halfwit back to him? Yeah. Well, that's not very nice. Let's take Howie to Wilhelm. Could I ride him? Okay. You have to ask. Is that offensive?

At the mention of Wilhelm, Howie kind of perks up and says, oh, I can contact him. And pulls out a little musical instrument, plays it for just a second, and Wilhelm suddenly appears before you with his floating instruments and Pip floating in her bathroom. Was it a saxophone? Did he just play us a saxophone? I think he played us a saxophone. Wee-dee-dee, wee-dee-dee.

I like how we said saxophone and all of us go to the same song. Yeah, that's the only song ever that uses saxophone, I'm pretty sure. Howie exclaims, Wilhelm, oh, how I've missed you. How is little Pip? Howie leans over the bassinet and leans in to kiss Pip on the head. Wilhelm replies, oh, thank Daya, you're okay, Howie? Wilhelm turns to you all and says, I can't thank you all enough for saving my dear Howie. You're welcome. Yeah, no problem.

Yeah, we totally helped. Yes, absolutely. Don't you guys like eat a bunch of baked goods? Uh, no. We do a zoom in on Bart's stomach that's like very much bloated. Is Bart gluten intolerant? Do we need to worry about any bad side effects here? Roll for gluten. Roll for celia. Really? Should I roll? No, no, no. Roll for IBS. Hey, hey, roll.

Oh, man. It's too bad Judge Bread isn't here. Waiting for inspiration to die. Your hand's hovering over the button. Wilhelm turns to Howie and says, So, Howie, did you have any luck finding supplies for your invention? Howie says, Invention? What invention is that, dear? Wilhelm lets out a deep sigh and reaches into Howie's satchel and pulls out a piece of paper.

The paper appears to be a schematic, covered with sketches and scrawled notes. The drawing looks to be an hourglass-shaped device entitled... Recapitulator. That's what we've been looking for.