C01 - Ep. 09 - Deja Ürbloom - Fortunes, Forests & Faith Pt. 1
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This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Howdy, hail, and hello, travelers. Welcome back to the Stinky Dragon. Today, our cocktail special is the Dry Elementini. It's a classic mixture of fire genosygen and bergmagmuth garnished with a phoenix feather. That hooch has some heat. Last time, our adventurers were on a mission to the Dust Bowl town of Pius Pass trying to solve the mystery of the Crypt Cod.

Oh my god, it rhymed.

I can hear my brother's writing in that. Like, I can hear, like, even just, like, I don't think Gus would ever say, like, ooh, that's some, like, some hot hooch. Like, that's my brother right there. Papa squat. Well, he wrote it, so I would hope so. Papa squat is my name during leg days. Like, today I'm Papa squat. Papa. And Barbara's Mama squat. Mama squat. Mama squat. Mama deadlift. What's up?

Chris's baby's butt. The morning sun peeks over the rusty canyon walls of Pious Pass onto the monoliths of the chapel. Long shadows stretch across the town, concealing cloaked archers hiding just out of sight. Each of them with bows armed and aimed at the four of you. Paralite stares at you with her bewitching pale face and deep black eyes. She leans in toward you, and in a haunting tone, she whispers for only you to hear... What'd she say?

Sorry, I'm reading a note here. She's so quiet. She whispers in to say. It'll be edited. Keep all this in. Dramatic pause. One more interruption without my permission and I will bury everyone you hold dear. Nod if you understand. Gum Gum is really scared because he does not understand.

But he nods. Right. Yeah, at this point, there's like a crowd of townspeople. They're risen by all the noise and commotion. They're starting to gather around and see what's going on. Do you have a description of what Paralite looks like? She's got black eyes. She has bewitching pale face and deep black eyes. Okay, that's all we can tell from her? For now, yes. Okay. Okay.

Kyborg, did you just roll? Yeah, yeah, I was rolling for nod. I was rolling for nod. It was a 15, so it was an okay nod. Pretty good nod. You definitely nod. Paralite steps back toward the crowd.

As I was saying, people of Pious Pass, you have nothing to fear. For I, Paralite of the Evergards, have removed the threat against your town. I present to you the mastermind behind the plague you call the Crypt Curse. Paralite reaches down and removes the milky white robes from a petrified Mother Abbey.

The pie priest's, uh, the pie... There's so many Ps! Paralite picked her peckers and peppers and peppers. Partridge in a pear tree. The pie priest's entire body instantly shapeshifts to reveal a female halfling with facial scars and an eye patch. Under his breath, you hear Sordo say, Oh no, Mossy.

What? Kyborg and Gum-Gum roll intelligence checks. We already know we're going to pass that, right? Before we started today, I was noting, I was talking with Micah about how intelligence is not the forte of this party. I think Bart has the highest intelligence with a 10. Yeah, and I did not spend a lot of time putting any into that. I was like, I'd rather be...

than intelligent. Yeah, Mud prefers to favor wisdom as well. Oh, yeah, Bart did go to college. That's right. Yeah. Thank you, Micah. I prefer strength. That's where I put all my stuff. Well, Gum Gum, that's a six with my minus three, so three. Three. I had a 17. I got a good night's rest. I had been studying the day before. Well, Gum Gum, the face of the halfling looks familiar to you, but you can't quite seem to put a face to the name.

You remember seeing the halfling in boulder a recently you recall that this is none other than Marcy Burns the infinite cleric known as a leave. She's famous for healing and saving countless lives with her enchanted goblet. Oh the bust from the library. You're right. The bus from the library. Gus is so proud. How do you remember that?

He rolled a 17. I'm shocked. Paralite goes on. Behold, an infanite, the one they call Elieve. But she is no hero nor a healer. She poisoned your townspeople by cursing your well's bucket. She then swooped in under disguise with miraculous healing and a fake deity so you'd never suspect her. But all of it was a lie.

She was collecting the souls of your departed loved ones so she could use nefarious necromancy to raise her late husband from the dead. Whoa. The crowd begins chattering nervously. Methinks this be a bit deceptive. This is such a complex situation. I have no idea what's going on, but I also follow the chants. Whatever they're chanting, I'm chanting as well. You rolled a 17. You should be following along perfectly. Yeah.

Paralite continues. But as I said, the threat is over and you are safe once more. For I, Paralite, promise that my Evergards and I will always be there to protect you from corrupt imposters like the Infinites. Paralite looks down her nose with contempt at Aleve who lay sprawled in the sand. Wait, we did all the fighting.

Excuse me, you'd be taking some of our credit for the fight here, my lady. I believe a camel rushed in at one point and did a lot of good work. Roll a wisdom saving throw, Mud. That is a 14. Paralight locks eyes with you, just says, Grovel. And you fall prone to the ground. That's a problem.

The portal behind Paralite ripples and a pale-skinned elf steps through dressed in a black cloak followed by a flying snake. He lowers his hood, revealing blue spiky hair and a smug smile comes across his face. It's Brink Tussler. Brink Tussler! You son of a... He steps forward toward you and whispers, Don't mind me, you infa-nobodies. I'm just here to collect discs.

He kneels beside Aleve and snatches her goblet. He stands up and turns to leave, and he winks at you as he disappears through the portal. Tussla out. Can I take a shot? Can I take a shot? Yeah, if you want to, you can try to roll an attack roll. Oh, no. I look at my team. I look at my team for confirmation. I need a two out of three vote from my team.

I look at Mud first. Mud, Mud, shake your head yes or no. He's grumbling. He cannot do anything right now. It's on you, Gum Gum and Bart. Gum Gum has no idea. He's just, I guess. He's still nodding from being afraid that Paralyte's going to kill him. Bart? Bart shakes his head no, but says yes. Ha ha ha!

Paralite waves to the crowd saying, Farewell, pious pass. And begins heading for the portal. She stops just short of it and turns to face the four of you and says, I'm sure we'll meet again. Then vanishes through the portal as it closes. I take a shot as the portal, right before the portal closes, I take a shot. Sure, you can try to take your shot. Okay, here we go. It's a 19. She got through the portal before you were able to get there. No!

I feel like Gus was ready to say that. Well, it was either that or he had to make a wisdom saving throw. Did the portal disappear? So did it just shoot? Did the arrow shoot past the portal and hit someone? Just killed someone in the crowd. Then there's another hamster.

You said there was a flying snake. Was it a flying snake, like, hovering, or did it have wings? That's a good question. I think it just hovers, if I remember right. I just have to visualize what this flying snake seems like. Was it spinning in a circle, and the centripetal force is creating the hover, like a helicopter? No, you idiot. It's magic. Duh. All right. Am I still groveling, or does that, like, end with her going to the toilet? Yeah, you can get up now.

Okay, I get up. After a brief moment, Chick and the other townsfolk walk up to you guys. Chick says, don't you work for the Infinites? Did you know about all of this? You hear some of the other townsfolk mumble in agreement with Chick. I mean, we recent hires, just interns, don't really know all the trappings and the workings of the Infinites. Yeah.

Yes. Listen, whoever forgot the term innocent until proven guilty. Am I right, folks? Am I right? Go ahead. I guess Bart and Mud make persuasion checks. Oh, okay. You got it. 19. 21. Yeah. Both of you are able to easily placate the crowd. They become a little more subdued. They put their pitchforks down. That's good. Everyone has a pitchfork. Every single person in this town. Every single person.

They're ready to form a mob at the drop of a hat. Yeah. Government-issued pitchforks are a big part of fantasy villages. Do we still need to get the thing we're supposed to come to this town to get? Yeehaw! From the other end of the town, you spot what looks to be a pie riding atop a galloping camel. Both are wearing sun spectacles and full-brimmed hats. A camel?!

She pulls on the reins and skids to a halt inches from you. Sand flies everywhere. The rider hops down and she turns to Chick and says, geez-a-loo, Chick, talk about a special delivery. Feels like you sent me to hell and back for that Dr. Phlegm, was it?

She snorts and chuckles to herself. I'm just joking. Good grief. Loosen up, will you? You folks are acting like you've seen a ghost or something. Anyway, it wasn't easy making our way through the flats of Tabool, but I got the goods. She pulls out a leather wineskin off the camel's back and sure enough, looks to be about the size of a bread box. Chick says, actually, Kara, Dr. sent these folks to collect it. Oh, perfect. Here you go, folks. She holds out the wineskin towards you.

Who has the money? Bart takes it. Bart takes it. Bart has the money too, right? I'm imagining Gum-Gum reaching out ever so slowly. Bart takes it! She could see Gum-Gum and Gum-Gum starts to reach out for it, but Bart skitters up in front of him and then jumps up and grabs it. He's just out of eyeline.

Chick looks at you, Bart, and says, all right, folks, I held up my end of the deal. That'll be 100 gold pieces. That is 100 real gold pieces, please. She holds out her hand and looks at Bart with narrow eyes. I feel personally attacked by that comment. You have a brand at this point. Bart casts minor illusion. Who had the gold? I think it was you. Didn't we give it to you? I mean, it's not in my inventory. I thought you had it, Mudd.

Do I have it? I might have it. I'm pretty sure Mud has it. Yeah, nobody has it in their inventory. Nobody added it. We forgot it back at home. Hold on. Now, Mud throws the bag of gold at this pie. Like you wind up and throw it like a baseball? An underhand throw. Bart intercepts it because how rude of you to throw a bag of money at someone we just met. He intercepts it and then presents it to Kara and says, m'lady.

Ooh, she graciously takes it from you, but she hands it over to Chick. Oh, okay. Chick facilitated the deal, carriages. I get confused with all these women around. I get distracted. Can we, are we done? Can we leave now? Chick says, oh, and about the money for the rescue mission. Well, it's all a bit muddy now, isn't it? If you'll excuse the expression, she tips her hat to you, Mud. Don't excuse that expression. You need to change your words. Ha ha ha!

Get your name out of my mouth. But we did take her out of the jail. On the one hand, I guess you did actually find Mother Abby and Sheriff Gov. But on the other hand, it turns out the sheriff was right all along and Mother Abby really was the culprit behind the crypt curse. But on the other other hand, Mother Abby never really was Mother Abby. She was a leave, I guess. Like I said, muddy.

How many hands do you have? Nah, it's not, buddy. You asked us to do something. You hired us to do a job. We did the job. It's not our job to figure out if the sheriff was good or bad. How about this, guys? All right. You give us the pogo stick thing so that Gum Gum will be happy and then we'll just call it a day. I don't like that. I always like when Gum Gum's happy. Ha ha ha.

Why don't you all make a charisma check? We'll do like a party charisma check against her and see. This ain't going to go well. Oh, that's a 20, but I get nine minus two. So it's 18. 19. 16. That's not, we're not doing bad. Don't, don't. I did 12. Okay. I'll roll her here to see. I'm a negative two on charisma. I can't do much. Not very charismatic. Man, it's a good thing you guys got Bart on your team. Oh, she rolled a one.

Well, then I think... Am I right? Mutt slaps Kyborg's back of his back because he thinks he's having some sort of connection. Thank you.

She says, well, I guess you make a good point. She starts reaching into her bag to pull out some money. But Sheriff Gov saunters over and says, Chick, you're not seriously thinking about paying these dingleberries for what they've done, are you? Have you seen my jailhouse? Not to mention the state of your shop. Chick says, wait, what happened to my shop? She takes off running towards the give and take. We just passed that throw with flying colors yesterday.

You son of a... Give this man his pogo stick. Sheriff Gov addresses you and says, Listen, folks, I wouldn't count on getting paid for the shenanigans you pulled last night. I appreciate you trying to help, but I think it's for the best if you leave soon and take Mother E. Leave with you, or whoever that is, especially since we don't have a functioning jailhouse at the moment. Oh, right.

She raises an eyebrow at you for a moment, then makes her way back towards the jailhouse. I mean, we were supposed to come and get something, but to bring back an infinite, that's pretty good. 100 gold for an infinite, right? Well, you got the thing. Bart has the thing you came to get.

Sure do. Oh, we have that too. Oh, we just didn't get paid for being idiots. Mission accomplished, right? You all did everything with flying colors. There's a bonus mission for Gum Gum's pogo stick. Where did the pogo stick end up at the end of your guys' like... I remember. Do you guys remember where it ended up? Well, I don't. My character doesn't know, but I do remember. Is it on the roof? Is it on the roof? Bart remembers. Okay, how about I go? I grab the pogo stick and then we'll jet. It's on the roof of the jailhouse.

Okay. Problem? No. Yes. He answers before Gus can. At this point, Sorto starts sounding a warning chime. Bing bong, bing bong, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, hey, so sorry to interrupt, but I was sort of thinking since y'all are infinite interns, maybe you ought to check on the infinite Aleve. Maybe make sure she's actually okay. Criminy.

Okay. Yes. So how dare you try to drive this narrative forward? I want a pogo stick for my friend. Bart screws over to Aleve. Aleve doesn't seem to be doing too good. Why don't you roll me a medicine check, Bart? Medicine check. Mud joins because Mud's really good at medicine. Oh, no. Nine. Yeah, Aleve looks terrible to you, Bart, laying on the desert sand. You're not sure quite what's wrong with her.

Mud comes and joins to check out and rolls a 13. She looks like she might be fully paralyzed, though still breathing, but only just breathing.

Oh. You got any magic? I don't have any healing spells anymore. Right. I was hoping to save a spell slot. Sordo chimes in again and says, Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on there, Dewdrop. We don't know what kind of magic Paralite did to Aleve here. It would probably be best if I contact Dr. Ahim and let him know what's going on. Why don't y'all head over to the little pecker for some rest and try to keep your noses out of trouble while I figure out what we should do next. Okay.

That sounds great. Love it. Do you want me to pick her up? Yeah, sure, Gum-Gum. Just don't drop her. I gotta get a hold of Doctor Ahim. Okay. I pick her up. I feel like I just need to scout out the town one more time. Maybe saunter over to the jailhouse just to see how things are. The jailhouse is pretty close to the little pecker, if you remember. It's like right next to it. Okay. Alright. I only need a short rest, so...

The little pecker is between where you are and the jailhouse. The jailhouse is on the other side of the little pecker from where you are, but it's pretty close there. Okay. I'd like to go on a side mission for that pogo stick for my dear friend Gum-Gum. Gum-Gum has not asked for this once, by the way. I want the pogo stick. Okay, there we go.

I feel like Kyborg's just kind of pushed his agenda along. So you all make your way to Lil' Pecker at this point with Gum-Gum carrying a leave? Sure. And from what I understand, it sounds like once there, Kyborg wants to take a short rest and then scout out the roof of the jail for the Jumpin' Jav? Correctamundo. Okay. Well, you all arrive back at the Lil' Pecker and...

It's mostly empty at this point. Ludi's standing behind the bar, looks at you all as you walk in and gets back to work polishing a glass. Are you all going to head up to your rooms? What was the rooming situation? I don't remember. Some of you were sharing a room. Gum Gum and Bart were sharing a room. And then everyone else had their own. Mud and Kyborg had their own. Yes. So you're all going to do a rest for now? Yes. Okay, but what do I do with her? I guess you can take her to one of the rooms, let her rest.

I guess I'll take her to Kaiborg's room. Okay. Yeah, I don't need it. Yeah, you're going to be out and about soon anyway. And if I recall, Mud had ordered a bed warmer previous. That is correct. So when you all start heading up to your rooms, Ludi flags you down, Mud, and lets you know your room's all ready and the bed warmer should be in your room now. Mud is noticeably excited about that. Okay, you all go back into your rooms, your respective rooms. Aleve is resting in Kaiborg's room.

As mud enters his room, tea light candles flicker all around the room. A trail of rose petals leads from the door to the bed where a male pie lay on the bed wearing only a poncho and two faded red bracelets made of gems. What is going on here? His wavy blonde hair and cleft chin catch your eye straight away. Well, hello there, buckaroo. I heard you could use a little bed warming. He pats the bed next to him seductively.

Are we sure this isn't Bart's room? Maybe Bart's room. Mud is very surprised by this, obviously. This is not exactly what Mud was expecting. I guess Mud is... All right, what are you doing in my room? I just want to say it's so funny that your brother wrote this part for you to have to interact with, and I love it so much. It's fine. I got this. Satter, what should you be doing in my bed? I'm here to warm it for you, sir. And he pats the bed next to him once more.

Is your job to stay here the whole night? I stay here as long as you need me. Okay. If the bed is warm, I don't need you anymore. So you're telling me to leave? Yes.

I don't know what you thought was going to happen, but I don't think what you thought was going to happen is going to happen. So what's going to happen is you're going to leave. Happy to pay for your time spent and wish you well on your way. He bursts into tears and begins crying. Oh, no. I knew this would happen. Wait, wait, wait, wait. The tears. What's going on? He's crying so much. I knew I would be rejected.

Listen, listen, mate. You're my first customer ever. I knew this wouldn't go well. Bart hears the crying and pops his head out of the door and goes...

What seems to be the problem? The lady of the inn read me asking for a bed warmer as me asking for a companion for the night, and mud does not require a companion for the night. And so I am trying to cordially ask this gentleman to be on his way, but apparently I have hurt his feelings. Bart turns to Gum-Gum and goes, Hey, Gum-Gum. To Gum-Gum? What? Gum-Gum would be in... In my room, right?

With me. Oh, I figure you popped out. You came over to this room, right? Oh, I assume we were like next door. You were like down the hall. He pops a set back in the room where Gum-Gum is and say, hey, how would you feel about another occupant? Okay. Bart goes back out into the hallway and says, you can stay with us.

Great. So we figured out the perfect solution for this. I don't require your services, but my friend here would love to procure them. Does that work for you? Why don't you make a charisma check for me, Mud? Oh, come on. I'm at... That's a seven. Oh.

He says, no, I was told to come here and you're rejecting me, trying to pawn me off on someone else. Sir, sir, what? I can't be more blunt. I don't require these kinds of services. Let's just be very clear. Mudd doesn't need that kind of help.

Why don't we make some kind of bargain? My real passion is fortune telling. Why don't you let me tell your fortune in exchange for a good review? So you tell Ludi that I did a good job here. That just sounds perfect. And I love it. Let's do it. And we can be on our way. This is like magic Yelp. The male pie pulls out a deck of cards from behind his poncho and holds them high in the air with one hand. He reaches out toward you with his other hand. Do you take it?

Sure. Roll me an insight check. Now that I can do. 11. Kyborg's outside and he's in his ninja clothes getting ready to raid the prison. And he's watching all this transpire and he's just like, I don't know, silently watching.

The male pie's eyes roll to the back of his head and the tea lights blow out in the room. His bracelets start to glow scarlet red, softly lighting his dimpled chin. He takes in a deep gulp of breath and you hear his voice, but it's echoing inside your head. Mud of the Bramblecracks! You have been walking away from your past for too long. If you continue to ignore the path behind you, the path before you will remain forgotten.

You must accept your destiny, bud. The fate of Faiza hangs in the balance. The tea lights reignite around the room and the clammy pie releases a huge exhale into your face. He sputters for a moment, trying to catch his breath, and finally shakes his head and he says, Well darn, I guess I lost my touch. Sorry to have wasted your time. I'm sure it would work this time.

Oh, I need some fresh air. I'll see you around, buckaroo. Gets up, hands you a comment card, and heads out the door. Mud scribbles A++++ on it. There's a one to five bed rating system on there. Six. Okay. He writes in a six. Six. Absolutely. So before we get to Kyborg's ninja story, Bart and Gum Gum, is there anything you guys want to do? I guess go to sleep.

I do want to ask Bart about the little thing that I have. I have the whistle. Are you sure you don't want to ask Bart about a different little thing you have? Hey-o. Some birds and the bees talk. I was like, I found this whistle and it was supposed to make friends come. But it did, but they weren't friends. They bit me.

I don't remember what this whistle is. I don't remember either. You might have to jog my memory. Well, I guess you weren't there, but...

Whenever I was getting arrested, I broke into the shop and then we took a pogo stick and then I took a whistle. I can confidently say I do not know anything about this whistle or how it works. This is just for reference so you guys know. It's a whistle in the shape of a wooden arc. It has a silver chain necklace that's attached to the whistle. All right. It's one of those rave whistles. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, idiom. Yeah. Okay, I would just keep whistle to whistle later. Good night. Good talk. Good talk. Oh, so magical with him. Yeah, that's a word for it. Okay, so Kyborg. It's not nighttime or anything. By this point, it would be late morning and you're outfitting yourself in ninja gear. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I'm doing. Okay, what's your plan? What are you doing? I'm sticking to the shadows. I'm going cover to cover. Barrel rolling, somersaulting, cartwheeling, no one can see me, stealth out the wazoo. And I want to climb onto the roof of the prison, grab the pogo stick from my dear friend Gum-Gum, and then we'll be on our way. Okay. Dust in my hands.

Mission accomplished. That's all I wanted to do. Like, how are you going to get up onto the roof of the jailhouse? I guess I'm just unclear on this. You have a lot of high-level ideas here, but I'm unsure of, like, the nitty-gritty details of how you're going to actually get this done. No, right. No. As you should. You need to know these things. So, uh...

Let me see. Looking at my inventory, I've got a crowbar and I've got some rope. I've also got a bow and arrow. So I could attach the rope to the crowbar to use as a hook to get up there or the arrow and then climb my way up the side to get to the roof. You know what I mean? You could or you are. I mean, you're asking me. No, I am. That's the plan. That's the plan.

All right. So you're just going to walk out of the little pecker, walk across that little alleyway. Somersault. Yes. Somersault. Then you're going to fire a crowbar with your bow up attached to a rope up to the roof. And then once it secures, you're going to climb up.

on the rope, grab the jump and jab, and then just do everything in reverse to get back in the little pecker? Yeah, let's say that I attach the rope to an arrow, shoot the arrow up there, climb the rope arrow up, grab it, and then lower myself down with that same rope. Please tell me, at what point, Gus, is this going to go wrong? Well, it's going to involve several checks, especially because the deputy and the mastiffs are outside of the...

as they were previously again. I just wanted to be known, Mud is wide awake now, but doesn't want to be a part of this heist. So Mud just turns into a mastiff, goes out to the porch of the little pecker, and just watches all this happen. Just wanted to make sure there was an audience for this. All right, well, I guess let's just start with a simple stealth check to get across the alley from the little pecker to the jailhouse. Simple stealth check. Broad daylight, right? Yep. I'm picturing...

I'm picturing him like Kronk from Emperor's New Groove, like trying to hide in like wide open alleyways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Him doing his own theme music. Yep, exactly. That's exactly what I was imagining. Yeah. The first one was a solid six. You step outside and start crossing to the jailhouse when the mastiffs begin growling at you and the deputy turns and looks at you dead in the face. I turn around very swiftly and whistle. Whistle.

And then I walked back to the little pecker because I remember there's a balcony there. Okay.

I liked your whistle, by the way. Can we revisit that? There's a balcony there. I'm on the balcony. Same plan. And this time, I'm going to do the exact same thing, but from the balcony. That way they can't see. The people from below can't see. Yeah, because we all know when something's above you, you can't see it. That's right. And no reason to. Dogs can't look up. Ha ha ha ha!

That's not. Is that true? I think that is true. No, it's not, Barbara. It can't be true. It's not true. Dogs can look all sorts of directions. Roll another stealth check to see if they don't notice you up there. Here we go. Bada bing, bada one, five. Damn it. It's a five. You come out of the balcony. You fire your arrow. And immediately again, the sheriff and the mastiffs are. You learn dogs can look up.

Because they're looking straight at you. Standing on the balcony with a bow in your hand, an arrow fired into the jailhouse. The deputy yells at you, get out of here. I've got my eye on you now. Sorry. I also wanted to point out that that was not a five. That was a critical fail. It's a one. Yeah. That was a one. Plus four. Five. Correct me if I'm wrong, Gus. If you get a one, do you get the bonuses? I mean, it's a critical failure. Yeah.

I guess if I were to be an asshole, I would say he shot one of the dogs. No, I shoot hamsters, not dogs. Everyone knows this. All right.

All right. Last, but this is my last and final attempt. Rule of three comedy. Here we go. What are you doing? They're staring at you on the balcony, right? No, I'm saying, I'm saying silly me, silly me. I walked down the stairs. I walk right up to him for, for the record. You're at disadvantage on any stealth check now because they've spot you twice. That's fine. Stealth is over. We're, we're past the stealth part. We're at the charm part. Here we go. So I go up to him and say, Hey, her, you know, I'm just goofing around. Hey, you, uh, there,

There's a thing that I left up on the roof. You guys mind if I just run up there and grab it? It could damage your roof. I'm just trying to help out, alright? It's for a friend. You're lucky we don't throw you in the jail cell. You get out of here before I call the sheriff. Are you sure you want to do that? Get! Hold on, hold on. Throwing a charisma. It's a one. Minus two. It's a negative one. It's a negative one.

What have you rolled? I think you've rolled a two, a one, and a one. Get the battles out. Get the battles out. I do not want this to happen, and I'm here for it. Okay. I'm okay with it. I walk back to the little pecker. I got to admit, I hated this from the start. I thought this was the dumbest waste of our time for this podcast. We only have so much time to record.

I love it. I love it now that it went this wrong so many times. Fantastic. Ending on a negative one. Chef's kiss good. In chat, Micah's over here saying, hey, just FYI, we don't have a lot of time for this side quest. We'll see where this goes.

Someone in this group taking a really long time is something that's not important. Well, I would say that gum gum is important, Barbara. That's what I feel. When we wake up, can I ask Bart to use Mage Hand to go get the spear?

Oh my God. I think it would be out of rain. And I'm not trying to be a dick because the way it flew at the end, it would be on the opposite end of the roof from where you were. And the roof's pretty big. Like, I think you would have to be on the jailhouse. It's fine. I gave up on it. I gave up on it. Gum gum, I think we got to get up on it, man. Okay.

Okay. You all go ahead and relax in the little pecker and you all take your long rest. So make sure you denote long rest on your character sheets and get back whatever you're supposed to get back for that. Confirm. After some time, you hear beep boop, beep beep boop, alarm honk honk. Come on, you beardless bozos. It's time to wake up. We got to get back to Boulderay. Like now. A Bart head snooze. Ow! Watch it, pipsqueak.

We weren't in such a hurry. See you in nine minutes. When is it night? All right, all right. We got to go. Quit wasting time and get downstairs. We got to get a leave back to Doctor Ahim. All right. Is Gum-Gum going to carry a leave the whole time? If only I had a stick that would bounce. Quick question. Are the other Infinites named like Tylenol and Advil? No, they are not. We're going to save preparation. H next. Okay.

My doll. That's just your name. That's Mud. All right. Everyone gathers up. I assume y'all follow Sordo and head out from the little pecker. Once again, you feel the stifling heat of a high noon sun. Somehow the red canyon walls seem a bit higher as they tower over you. The townsfolk are in huddles along the main road, whispering to each other and casting sideways glances at you.

Sheriff Gov and Chick are standing by the water well, each with their arms crossed. - I do the queen wave at everyone, like royalty. - Chick steps forward abrasively. Where'd you hide it, you hooligans? I saw you eyeing my merchandise. All three of my glass display cases have been smashed and emptied out, and you folks were the last ones in my store, so where are my goods? - What's on the roof? - You admit it? - No. - You took my stuff and you stashed it? - I don't know why I know, but it's on the roof. - What roof?

I love that GovGov would just immediately... No! Of the jail. Chick, I guess, is very confused and starts walking off in a huff in the direction of the jail. Right by. Sheriff Gov says, Don't worry, folks. I'm conducting a thorough investigation straight away into these last few days of mayhem. Oh, and if I have more questions, well, I know exactly where to find you. Okay.

I've got my eye on you. Now get. Bye. Suddenly, a portal of murky waves appears in the alleyway behind Sheriff Gov.

Sordo starts floating toward it, saying, "That's our cue, you numbskulls! Come on, let's get a move on! We don't have all day, for reals this time!" Mud hastily goes through. He is so over this town. As you all pass by, under his breath, Sordo says, "Well, you didn't disappoint on your first mission, you gold-grubbin' jailbirds. You managed to piss off nearly everyone in town while taking their money!"

We did a good fight. Bart looks Sordo right in the eyes and says, you talk to your mother with that mouth? Is her name Alexa? Yeah.

In all seriousness, though, you interns were dealt a rotten hand, and you did the best you could in a tough situation. And let's not forget, you came out of this mess with all four of you still alive, Dr. Hym's package in hand, and you found one of the Infanites. Not too shabby, if you ask me. Damn right. Okay, thank you. Okay, okay. Let's get out of here before the waterworks start happening. He floats through the portal. I follow. We follow. Me too. Oh, he somersaults in. Yeah. Wee.

Make a, what do we say that is? Athletics check. Ooh, that's a 26. Where the hell was that earlier? He rolls a 20. He rolls a 20 when he's doing a somersault. It doesn't matter at all. Very on brand for Kyborg, I think. So good. I like that the previous rolls I see here are Kyborg 6, Kyborg 5, Kyborg negative 1, Kyborg 26. Guess which one didn't matter. So good.

So I just want to let everyone know that this is going to kick off our next arc, which we are calling Deja Urbloom. If you haven't listened to it yet, you can check out episode 8.5, which is where we cover the story so far, just to get you kind of caught up to speed if you don't want to listen to everything, which you should listen to everything. We also go into the player backstory and what skills they've taken now that they're all leveled up to level three.

So as always, I want to remind you to hit us up on social media at StinkyDragonPod. It's absolutely the best thing you can do hands down to help the show out is to tell a friend or tweet about the show. They can listen to episode 8.5 and get caught up right now. So little commitment. They don't have to commit all the time. They listen to 8.5 and they're going to say, wow, this is so great. You're my best friend. I'm going to go back and listen to the other eight episodes. You can also tweet with hashtag StinkyDragonPod. Get your name in the show as an NPC in future arcs. I actually keep a table full.

of people's names for NPCs up every time we're recording the show. So if we need an NPC, I can quickly look and pull one at random. And it's all from people who've used hashtag StinkyDragonPod. You can also maybe send us some simple magic items you'd like to see in the campaign. Nothing crazy. We don't want the guys to get too powerful. But, you know, some real simple things that maybe we could throw in there.

And of course, you can rate us on whatever podcast platform you listen to the podcast on. We have some great reviews so far. Really appreciate it. Trust me, we look at them all the time. It helps so much. Thank you. Thank you so much. If you could give us a good review, we'd really appreciate it. So keep an eye out for our next episode for a few NPCs and items. Okay, and now that all that's out of the way, let's take care of paying the bills.

Do you like the show? Do you like us? I like me. You're probably going to like RTX at Home. RTX at Home is Rooster Teeth's virtual convention. It's happening from July 8th to 17th, 2021. It's free for anyone to check out on Rooster Teeth's apps and website. You'll definitely see a whole lot more of us there. We have a Tales from the Stinky Dragon episode

panel that we're going to be doing. And that's on July 13th at 2 p.m. Central Time. We're all actually going to be in person meeting up together. First time we're going to be doing that for Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Highly recommend you check it out. So come check out 10 Days of Panels, a podcast about comedy, animation, gaming, and more, including this one, RTX at Home, July 8th to 17th,

Only on Rooster Teeth. Go to rtxevent.com for more information. Theme park season's here with so many places to go, rides to ride, and delicious foods to eat. It can be hard to navigate the map. That's where Annual Pass comes in. Annual Pass is the new theme park podcast from Rooster Teeth, hosted by theme park superfan Jack Petillo and up-and-coming theme park fan Jeff Ramsey. I know those guys.

Each week, your park guides will take you on a trip through their love of theme parks, touch on theme park news, explore new rides from all over the world. Whether you're an expert on all the ups and downs and twists and turns of theme parks, or you're just finding the courage to ride that first ride, this is the podcast for you. Everyone loves theme parks. Everyone loves rides. I know personally, the last time I went on Magic Mountain out at Disneyland, yeah, Disneyland, the ride actually stopped and all the lights came on and I saw the horror of

of that roller coaster. Normally it's pitch black. You can't see it. The lights came on and I have not gotten back on that roller coaster since. You can find out all kinds of insights from Jack and Jeff on Annual Pass. Maybe not anything like that. Mine's a little spookier, but check it out. So new episodes of Annual Pass are available Thursdays on Rooster Teeth, YouTube, and any of your favorite podcast streaming services. Check it out.

The moist, cool air of the immersed gateway is soothing to your parched skin. You step into the dim, circular stone room and see Doctor sitting in his wheelie chair with a nervous look. Atten and Dant are waiting nearby, holding a gurney.

Doctor rolls over to Aleve and inspects her. Mumbling to himself and focusing his jeweler's magnifying loop, finally he leans back and says, This is no doubt the work of Perilite. I too have suffered from her petrifying touch. He rubs his knees. But this, this is much worse. Can you save her, Doctor? Uh...

Paralite's power is clearly increasing, but that's for another day. We have precious little time to help Marcy before the symptoms have a permanent effect on her. A leaf starts wheezing uncontrollably. Oh dear, there's no time to lose. Where is Marcy's goblet? There's a problem with that. It's not exactly here. So Paralite, if you remember her, she might have taken it. Wait, Paralite has the...

Never mind. No time. We do this the old-fashioned way. I need two of you to go to the edge of the Elder Pines. That's the forest due southwest of us. You need to find two medicinal plants, breezeberries and hush thistles. Just two of us? What is the other mission? The other two of you need to find Marcy's inbreeder at the local temple. I love plants.

In-breathers? Like an inhaler? What? Mud volunteers to go get the plants. I'll go get the plants as well with mud. Okay. Bye. Team Bud. Yeah. Team Bud. In-breathers sounds easier, so I'm going to do that. Gum, gum. Listen, it makes sense. Team Bud going to go get some plants. Yeah.

Get some of that Breezeberry. Yeah, well, we got Kyborg and Gum-Gum, Team Cum-Cum. Dr. Ahim looks at Team Bud and says, Very well. You must leave straight away, though. Soto will guide you there. Go now and meet back at the HQ as soon as you find them.

You got it. Mutt turns into a dog. Cool. We should get a little saddle for me when I'm a Mastiff, because I think a halfling could fit on me. Yeah, I am heavy, though. That's right, we figured out you were... You're so heavy. I'm very dense.

Bart and Mud head out, Mud in mastiff form. After they leave, Dr. Ahem turns to talk to Kyborg and Gum-Gum. Like I said, you two have your own mission. You need to find Marcy's in-breather. It's a device I fashioned for her some time ago that produces aromatic puffs from the aforementioned medicinal plants. She needs this device to steady her breathing.

Okay, it's in a temple? Yes, Gum-Gum. Don't worry. There are signposts on the road that will lead you there. Whose fist is it the size of? Because we have two very different sizes of fists. Well, I suppose somewhere between the two of them. Wait, and Gum-Gum holds up his two fists and he's like, but they look the same. Oh, my dear Gum-Gum, you really must hurry. There is simply no time.

Alright, let's go. Let's get out of here. I've noticed Gus has been giving way, way less inspiration dice for our terrible jokes. Y'all already have them. Oh, wait. Y'all are a little lucky. No one has this precious die. I've got inspiration. Yeah, we're out. No, I don't. I use mine. Yeah. Yeah. Wonder why that is. Huh?

It's a short end. All right. Kaibook should get one for Team Cum Cum. Yeah! Nice. Excellent. You're welcome. Thanks, Mud. Sordo leads Bart and Mud southward out of the town past the gates where he first entered Boulderay. He veers off to the west away from the main road onto a narrow dirt path. In the distance, you see a dense tree line covered in haze. You travel along the path for about 10 minutes. All the while, a mist slowly creeps in around your feet and the mountain ambience begins to hush. Oh, I like this setting.

Excellent. Another ten more minutes pass, and you reach what appears to be the end of the dirt path. Just beyond it, you see the same thick tree line shrouded in fog. Sordo comes to a halt and says, All right, we're at the edge of the Elder Pines. It's basically a foggy maze inside. It's packed with all kinds of plants, some good for you and some not so good for you. Luckily, I know exactly what plants we're looking for and where to find them. So above all else, we need to stick. You hear a twig break nearby. Of course.

I have just what you need and I surely will not be hurt or go away at any point in time. Oh no. Bart and Mud make perception checks. Oh damn. Oh, that's actually good. 21. I got a 13. So Bart, you take a deep breath and close your eyes. Your senses tell you the sound came from your left, from some nearby bushes. Mud, you also have the hair-raising feeling you're being watched from all around and you think you hear whispers in the bushes.

I'm in dog form, aren't I? Yes. Can I lunge at the bushes? Sure. I guess let's make an attack roll like you're attacking the bush. Can I get advantage for opportunity? Should we maybe do more perception first before attacking? I don't know. I guess I'm just leaning into the big dog mentality. Sure. You can get advantage on it. Big dog's got E. Okay. How do I roll for attacks for my mastiff? Just roll a D20 and we'll figure it out from there.

I rolled twice because you have advantage on it. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Because that was a poopy roll. That was a better roll. 16. 16. All right. We'll say that's a good enough roll. You hear mud growl and then lunge into the bush. And out from the bush. Quick roll myself. Out from the bush comes the breeze berries and hush whistle we need. Wow. Thank you. And Captain Crunch. Yeah. They do sound like cereal rolls.

Out from the bush fly out three sturges. Oh. They look like a cross between a large bat and an oversized mosquito. It's got little legs that end in sharp pinchers, and it's flying around in the air. Hey, Mud, did you happen to bring any deet? Ha ha ha.

I guess if I were lunging them, I would have done a bite. Yeah, make an attack roll. Or like make a damage roll, I mean. 1d6 plus 1. 4. You'd lunge into the bush and you clamp down and you have a mouthful of sturge. You bite it clean in half. It's gore dripping through your fangs. Yeah. They also have to do a strength check. DC 11. This one's dead. You killed it. Oh, okay. Yay. There's no strength left.

But the rest of them fly out and they surround Sordo and they grab him and start flying off with him. Aw, damn it. They fly into the trees that were up ahead. I spit out the Sturges. It was one. You had one Sturge in your mouth. Yeah. Who could have predicted this happening? Don't worry. We know exactly what we're looking for. Yeah, you've got a druid with you. Surely this can't be that hard. Right.

Okay, yep, I'm a very good druid too. Excellent. I definitely have stuff in the right slots to have. What do I need? I don't know. I'm negative one on nature. I'm a terrible druid. I like animals. I don't like flora. So are we still focused on finding these plants or saving Sordo at this point? Sordo's fine.

Bart, what did we need to find? Do you remember the name of these plants? I'm pretty sure it was breezeberries, and I think it was hush whistle. He says prepudiously. Yeah, thistle. Hush thistle. Hush thistle. Right. Hush. I'm going to update my notes. Hush. Do we want to just go in and try our best? I mean...

Sure. No time like the present. All right. I turn back into a druid because I think I need to have, like, all of my other abilities ready to deal with this forest. If you both want to make a survival check for me. Okay. Excellent. 18. 23. 23.

Ooh. You both do notice a trail of sturge droppings and scattered leaves leading into the tree line. And since you both were successful, can you both roll me nature checks? You got it. That's a 14. I got a 20. Mm. You also notice a pile of seeds, like pits from a fruit, and a broken stick in the bushes to the left of the path where the sturges were hiding. And the pits smell sweet, like from berries. Oh. Okay. Okay.

Alright, so y'all gonna head on into the treeline? Yeah, nothing bad will happen. Absolutely. I smack Bart's butt as we walk into the forest. Give him a little guidance. So you guys head into the treeline. You make your way through the edge of the forest and the elder pine trees are thicker than you first realized. Some trunks are wider than a wagon with roots as thick as pythons sprawling as far as the eye can see. Which, you know, isn't very far due to the fog blanketing the forest.

As you amble through the hazy trees, you eventually come upon what looks to be a small clearing and perhaps a trail. Well, I think we probably need to follow the, uh...

The poo, right? Well, from where you are, you do lose track of it at this point, but it looks like you have a couple of different options where you could head. You can either go left over some fern-like plants, go straight, try to navigate through some thick trees, or try to go to the right, where it looks like there was some teal glowing fungi. You know, Mud, I feel inspired by our good friend Kyborg. May he rest in peace. Huh?

He always goes left. So I think we should not go left. All right. I like that. I'm glad we went that direction. Should we go? I like mushrooms. Should we go look at the fungi? Let's do it. Right. Right it is. The right is the right direction.

Like I said, there's some glowing fungus here nearby. It doesn't look like anything you've ever seen in the past. It's along the trail that you're following here in this direction. Both of you make a stealth check. 11. I got a 26. Ooh. Ooh. Bart's very stealthy. Yeah, pretty good. There's a lot of twigs and rocks strewn across the path, but you both managed to keep pretty quiet while you're going through.

Do you want to stop and take a look at the fun guy or do you want to continue on your way? Could we check it out? Should we check it out, right? Yeah. What's his name? This fun guy. This fun guy. His name is Gus. Fun Gus. Fun Gus. That's a good one. Apparently not inspiration die good. No, no, not that good.

I've been hearing that one for 40 years. Quick side note question. In my defenses, it says poison. Does that mean I'm more resistant to poison? I believe you are resistant to poison as a halfling. I'll double check the exact. I have a friend who's a halfling, so I'm also resistant to poison. You have advantage on saving throws against poison, and you have resistance against poison damage. Okay, cool.

I imagine that might come in handy. What is, okay, this might actually come into play. I have an ability called Speech of Beast and Leaf, and it says I can communicate with but not understand beasts and plants and have a charisma check to influence them. Have advantage on charisma checks. What does that mean?

Well, it just means you can talk to beasts and plants and it can understand you and you can, but you can try to influence them, but you can't, they can't communicate back with you. Like they can't talk back to you. How does that work with a plant? I guess maybe if it's like a living plant. Yeah. Anyways, I actually, let's look at these fungus. Let's look at these fungus first.

Yeah, you all lean in to take a closer look at the fungus. And as you are leaning in, you can tell they smell kind of sweet in your nose. And as you're leaning in to get a closer look at them, for some reason, it seems like they're getting further away. And you realize it's because you're floating ever so slightly above the ground. And you're starting to float slowly away from it. I've seen Willy Wonka. I know how this ends. We're an avatar. Wow. This is a problem.

Quick, do you see any like branches to grab onto to keep us from floating away? It doesn't seem like you're continuing. You're just like floating above the ground, but you're not, not Willy Wonka style. You're not flying up to anything in danger. You're just like hovering. We're not attached to some helium balloons unbeknownst to us. Right. You're just hovering in the air now. Oh, these are fun. Are we just floating there? Oh yeah. You're just floating there.

Are we close to anything we could grab to try to pull us to the ground? Yeah, there seems to be a large vine, like a bulbous end, like

Like plant that's nearby you could try to grab onto. Yeah. I guess, yeah. Do you think, like, how much of this area are we in? Is it covered in this fungus? Not a terrible amount. It's a pretty small pocket. So I have to give you a number. I'd say 10 feet by 30 feet or so. Okay. Maybe a little bigger than that. Yeah, I mean, yes. Just try to pull myself to the ground. I don't really know what to do with this new floating ability. Yeah, me neither. Are you also going to grab on, Bart, or is it just mud? I will hold on to mud. Okay. Okay.

Bart grabs onto mud for stability and mud grabs onto a plant to stabilize himself. The plant seemingly comes to life and turns to look at you, mud. Go ahead and roll initiative. Oh, no. Well, I'm going to be talking to this plant. You know, I'm going to be talking to this plant. You were just asking, what could I use this for? And in my head, I was like, if you play this right, you could be using it real soon.

16. 19. Plant goes first. Plant rolls a natural 20. Plant goes first. It seems like a puff emits from it and releases pollen out in a 30-foot radius. Both of you need to make wisdom saving throws.

17. 23, baby. Ooh, you guys with the good roll. We wise. We wise. The pollen doesn't seem to have any effect on you. So it looks at mud and it opens up its mouth wide and tries to seemingly swallow you. Oh! I didn't know we were getting into four, but okay. It's a 20.

Come on. Which I assume is a hit. Yes. Alright, it engulfs you and you're trapped inside of its leafy jaws. You're blinded and restrained. Uh oh. Bart. Could I cast Sleep on this plant? With me inside of it? Yes. Yeah, you could try it. Okay. Cast. Bart the spellcaster. So you roll 5d8 to see how many hit points it can affect.

Be high enough, be high enough. 26 total. Okay, so you pick a point and then you can affect 26 hit points of creatures in the range in ascending order from their current hit points. So Mud, how many hit points do you have? 29. 29. So you're in the same circle as the plant is. So I assume Bart would try to position it in a way where it gets the plant and you, but not Bart. Yes. Yes.

Correct. Okay, so yeah, the plant has less hit points, so it falls unconscious. Okay. And you did not roll enough hit points to get mud as well, so you lucked out, even though it's an aerial effect. You only got enough hit points to get the plant and not mud. Excellent. So the plant falls to the ground with mud still inside of it, asleep.

Okay. Bart runs over to the plant and I guess pries its mouth open. You still floating? Am I? Yeah, you're still floating. You got a little bit left on your floating. You can try to swim through the air and get over there. Yeah. Bart kicks his little legs and tries to get over to the plant where mud has been eaten. Yeah, it's a little difficult, but you managed to make your way over there. Yeah.

Okay, once he reaches there, he tries to open the plant up to pull mud out. Yeah, you're able to open it up. It's not resisting since it's asleep. You open up its mouth and you see mud inside.

Okay. Mud, can you hear me? Yes, get me out of this. It's me, your friend Bart. Remember? Yes. From a minute ago? Yes, I remember you. I've only been in the plant for about a second. Okay. Bart reaches his tiny little halfling hand inside. Grab my hand. Grab my strong hand. I feel like if I pull, I'm going to pull you into this plant. Okay.

Could Bart see if there's something more sturdy, like a tree trunk or something to hold on to on the other side? Yeah, there's a tree trunk you can grab onto. There's also a fallen log you could grab onto if you wanted to. Okay, Bart grabs onto that log with his other hand as he puts the other one inside the plant's mouth. I grab Bart's hand and pull. You managed to successfully pull yourself out and away from the carnivorous plant. I feel like we should just let sleeping plants lie. Yeah.

And just GTFO out of this terrible mushroom hell. I've never heard a better idea in my whole life. Okay. Well, your two options, you can go back in the direction you came or you continue heading north away from this area. Oh, man. Wait, what? So we could go back where we came from where we had the three options, left, right, or center. Or pass by. Or keep going. Yeah, correct. Keep going and head north. You want to keep going?

Yeah. I imagine maybe the paths all line up at some point. All right. Let's swim our way through this area and get past this suddenly Seymour reject. Maybe we're past the worst of it. You begin swimming, and gravity starts affecting you more normally again, and you guys are again walking. You're back on the ground. I love ground. Whatever was affecting you no longer has the hold over you. Always been a big fan of dirt.

Yeah. You continue forward a little bit. You enter another little clearing with some more plants, some little white flowers, a prickly sapphire plant, and some grape-colored mushroom. You can investigate these or you can continue on your way. You should probably investigate since we are looking for two different types of plants. So it's possible one of them is here. Well, it's called, there's berries and then there's thistle. Thistle. What is thistle? Thistle is something that's usually thorny.

Okay. Right? I think so. Is that right, Gus? I guess. The way you said it, it convinced me. Yes, I have a negative one on nature. Thistle's kind of... It looks like a flower, like a prickly flower. But if it's prickly...

Is it prickly? A little bit, yeah. All right, let's look at the prickly thing. Okay, yes, let's investigate. Yeah, you see it. There's a prickly sapphire plant. I don't know what you all want to do to it. Edmund leans in and goes, are you Hush Thistle? It does not move or respond in any way. Do any of the animals in this forest know where Hush Thistle are?

Maybe you could ask a Sturge if you find another one. Yeah, that worked out well last time. Would my Mastiff form be able to smell out a Hush Thistle? A Hush Thistle? If your Mastiff form knows what one is. Dang. I guess... I don't know if I'm allowed to ask this, but, like, now that we don't have Sturge with us, how are we supposed to actually find out? Like, is there...

Do we know anything about these plants? What they smell like, what they look like, what color they are, anything like that? Make a nature check. Okay. 11. Four. Yeah, you can't... Nothing in your brain, nothing in your time in college seems to be coming back to you. Glamour school, you failed me. Okay. It's a party college. We went over this. It's prickly. It's like thistle.

What if we just say, hey, this is hush, Thistle, and we just pick it and take it? Yeah, can we just take it and then bring essentially like the plants we think might be the correct ones back with us? Yeah, I guess it's better than nothing at all. Yeah. You're going to harvest some of this? Yes. Who's going to have it? Just make sure you keep a record of it. I'll hold on to it. It's only someone's life in the balance. It's totally fine. Okay.

Make me a dexterity saving throw, Mud. Okay. That is a 22. Ooh, really good. It's really prickly with a lot of thorns, but you managed to avoid getting pricked by it. Okay, cool. All right. We've got Hush Thistle. Bart and Mud, make me constitution saving throws. Okay. Ooh, three. Not good. That's a 14.

As you both are, you know, walking around looking at the plants and harvesting the hush thistle, the grape-colored mushrooms, some kind of liquid gets released from them and splashes on you guys. And you guys both take... Oh, no.

One point of damage. Not much. All right. But you also begin vomiting uncontrollably. Oh, wait. Actually, this is poison. And we just went over this. Bart, make me a second saving throw. Okay. And the constitution? Yeah. Five. Not much better. Yeah, yeah. You still take it. So, yeah, you both take one point of damage and you begin vomiting. Both of you begin vomiting uncontrollably. Fantastic. Oh, God. I'd like to cast...

Summon beast. Can you cast that while you're vomiting? I don't know. Am I uncontrollably? It has verbal components. Yeah, you'd be able to. If casting is one action, you'd be able to get it out quickly. Oh, but I can't talk. You're having difficulty, but I'll say that, you know, it's a quick enough spell. It's not like it takes a long time to cast. You'd be able to get it out between retching. Yeah. Am I allowed to also give my animal, which I'm summoning a little bird, give it a command? Sure.

Can I command the bird to try and get an aerial view and see if it sees berries anywhere? Sure. Just imagine him going like, from west to east, I summon a bee. You know, I should have used my mage hand to pick it.

Oh, yeah. But it wasn't the thistle. It was those damn mushrooms. The mushrooms, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. Your bird flies off. Their returns are short. Very quick while later, right around then, the vomiting starts wearing off. You guys don't feel quite as sick as you did before. It can talk to you? It says it obeys verbal commands, so it doesn't say that I can understand it.

Yeah. So it flew up and it found berries. Did it bring them back? No. Okay. Go get the berries. Okay. How about this? Lead us to the berries. Can I say that? Did it work? Did it work? Did it work? Yeah. Right. Lead us to the berries. It takes off and it begins flying a little further to the west, away from where you guys are. Okay. Can we follow? Do you all follow it? Yeah. Right? Why not? Okay. I like birds. I trust them. Okay.

It's part of Bart's character now. He trusts birds. He trusts birds, yeah. You walk a little further down the trail and the bird flies by some leafy bushes that grow orange berries. Flies back and lands on your shoulder. Hey, could you ask those birds if these are by any chance breeze berries? It's a spirit that I've summoned.

I don't know. I think it only knows what I know at this point. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. We've already decided that it's hush thistle, even though we don't know it's hush thistle. So why don't we just decide this is breezeberries, even though we don't know if it's breezeberries. Should I use my mage hand to go grab it? I love it. Just to be safe? I love it. Okay, I'm going to use my mage hand to go pick a bunch of these. Or harvest, as you say. Ooh, look at you being all scared. Yeah, we're cautious. We've been vomiting.

Yeah, you send your mage hand out and it picks a few berries and returns them to you. We did it. Maybe. We possibly did it. The bird gets up from your shoulder and begins flying again to the north and around the bend out of your sight. My bird? Yeah. Why? Hmm.

It flies back to you again. - Wait, did it find more berries? - It gets up and flies again to the north and then around the bend. - Oh, son of a... - Hey, Mud, I have a great idea. Why don't we go north and around the bend? - Okay, I like that idea, Bart. I don't know where you got it from, but I love it. - Can you both make me perception checks? - I'd love to.

Oh, that's an eight. Ugh, 13. Bart, you notice hidden in the ground by this bush with the berries you just got, there's a couple of bear traps that are hidden there. Okay. Hey, Mud, you might want to step lightly. There are some hidden bear traps. That's not good. That I saw myself with my own two eyes. Can you point them out to me? Where are they? There's one over there.

And over there. Yeah, you're able to point them out to him. Okay. How far apart are they? If y'all are careful, now that you know they're there, you're able to avoid them. Oh, okay. I would say, like, at first I was thinking, oh, maybe we should trigger them so they close and we don't, like, risk stepping on them, but they might save us from something else that might chase us. Look at you being smart. Let's be careful.

Look at Gus being surprised. Barb's being smart. Why is this a surprise? I went to college. That's a really good idea. You should get an inspiration die for that. I think it's a great idea. Oh, there it is. Yeah. Thank you, Glamour School. Yeah, you all pass by the bear traps and you pass a couple other plants on your way. But if you go around the bend where the bird was flying, you see up ahead that

that there are some more berries. The fog begins to fade around you, and at the edge of the clearing, you spot a nest of sturges. They look to be gathered around various trinkets and shiny objects that they're smothering with red berries. Amongst the treasure trove, you catch sight of Sordo also being smeared in the red berry juice. Sordo. Sordo, come here, boy. Come here, boy. Come on, Sordo. He's being smeared with the juice. I wonder what that does.

Maybe they think it's their baby? I don't know. Could Bart attempt a whistle so high pitch that the Sturges don't hear, but only Sordo does? I don't know if Sordo has that kind of capability to hear that. So the Sturges, how many Sturges? We'll say that there's three that you see. I turn into a dog and charge barking loudly. Oh, what is that? Roll me an intimidation check.

- Oh, good one. - I'm not intimidating. That's an eight. - Well, what about your dog intimidation? - Bark, bark, bark. - The trees behind the nest begin to rustle and the ground vibrates beneath your feet. The Sturges immediately stop smothering Sordo and step back, bowing their heads to the ground.

Bursting through the trees stomps a giant pot-bellied Sturge with a monstrous snout. It pushes up from the ground to stand on its hind legs, easily reaching five feet in height. It waddles forward toward the berry-smothered treasure trove, and the tiny Sturges bow even lower to the ground. It reaches down, snatches Sordo, and holds it up high. A dopey smile comes across its trunk-like snout, and with a hoarse, screechy voice, it slowly bellows, INNER TIME!

And with one fell swoop, it tosses Sordo into its mouth and swallows the orb whole. Been there, mate. All right, time to cast sleep again. Maybe you will find out if that sleep works on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Oh, sort of. Just wait till you hear about the adventures that Gum Gum and Kyborg get up to. Yeah. Because we were just taking a nap IRL. We're going to find out all about those adventures as well on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. So thanks everyone for listening. As a reminder, follow us on social media. Give us a share. Hopefully give us a good rating wherever you listen to podcasts. And we'll be back real soon with another episode. Bye.