C01 - Ep. 05 - Infinight Interns - Taverns, Tomes & Training
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This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Good day, my dryads and hags, and welcome to the Stinky Dragon. TGI Fade-A, am I right? Here, try our new cocktail, Tom, Dick, and Fairy. It's a splash of Sprite, two shots of Satorade, topped with a sprig of mint.

Let's see. Hitherto our adventurers found themselves in a lab packed with prisoners, perils, and an imperceptible predator. Somehow they managed to overpower the camouflaged creature and free Mayor Prattle and a drunken doctor. Said doctor teased them with juicy goss about Perilite and the Infinites, but before the kobold could spill the beans, he lost his lunch as well as consciousness. Cross your legs, pull out your pinkies, and let's spill the tea. ♪

You find yourselves right where you left off at the Infinites headquarters. You're still in the same room at the end of the Great Hall. You've surmised that this must be Dr. M's lab. Two eyeball-shaped brass automatons are making their way around the room with cups of coffee. I'll take a double shot of espresso, and can you add some chai and some milk? A little bit of ice. Dirty chai latte is my order. Do you guys happen to have hot chocolate? No.

They whir and buzz and just say, Acknowledge. Apologies for the threats to eat your flesh earlier. And they go off to prepare your drinks. All is well. But of course, put some dirt in his coffee. Everyone go ahead and roll me a perception check. Off to the races. Eight. Twelve. Eighteen. Seventeen. Ooh.

Very perceptive there, Bart. Have we taken a rest at all, God? No, you're right where you left off. You've just finished your combat. You've just freed Dr. Ahem and Mayor Prattle from the conveyor belt. And everyone except for Mud seems to notice that it seems like Dr. Ahem is sobering up. He was a little out of it in the last episode. Maybe he had a little too much to drink.

But he's coming around. He's a little more sober. And it seems like Mayor Prattle has regained consciousness and is now staring at the doctor, stroking his beard. Doctor sits atop the conveyor belt next to the mayor. The orange-scaled kobold dusts off his brown leather waistcoat and looks around the lab. You notice his right eye seems to have been replaced with the jeweler's magnifying loop.

You take a look around the lab yourself. There's tools and weapons scattered across the floor. Scorch marks mar the stone ceilings and walls, and on the floor lay Valet in shambles. Dr. Ahem takes a sip of coffee and breathes a heavy sigh. Mayor Prattle clears his throat in a frustrated manner. Ahem.

Dr. flinches and says, I'm ever so sorry. I have no justification for my appalling behavior and what has taken place. This is, well, it's not how I pictured we would all be introduced. I'm afraid I've been utterly crestfallen down here by my lonesome since the night they were all, well, when it happened.

He pauses and his head drops. I lost my colleagues, my companions, and even parts of myself. He stares at his legs and fidgets with his right eye's glass lens. Needless to say, I became disconsolate and downhearted. I drowned my sorrows with the bottle. A lot of bottles. 'Twas then that Mayor Prattle here sent word to me of your arrival in keenness to be interants.

In my drunken stupor, I must have concocted the notion to train you all straight away. It's still all a bit hazy. I must have lost control of my latest invention, Valet, here. He points to the defeated automaton on the floor. I think I ordered him to pose as Luke. Paralite, says the mayor. He hops down from the conveyor belt and continues. Right, Doctor? Valet was posing as Paralite? Everyone go ahead and roll me an insight check.

Huh. I don't believe something. He thinks that somebody was about to say something. Sixteen. Fourteen. Three. Twelve. You're really good at some of this stuff here, Bart. Bart, he's got 20-20 vision, baby. So everyone except for Gum-Gum seems to think that Bear Prattle might be a little nervous. Maybe on edge. Hmm.

Mud walks up to him and pats him on the head. What's wrong, mate? Are you trying to hide something from us? Yeah. It's not important. I doubt it. You seem a bit perturbed right there. So let's just air everything to the room so we all know what's going on. I simply wanted to be clear on who is who around here. I mean, with you folks being new to town and all.

Listen, we've already dealt with a lot of who's who, and we just found out that Dr. Ahem, we thought that he was a bad guy, and now he's not. Mayor Pranel, you can trust us. We're a very trustworthy group here. You've known us for all of five minutes, and I think that has proven us very well. So who is this? Velet? Velet? What was it?

Right, Valet. The good doctor's invention was posing as Paralyte as training for you from Dr. Hm. But you see, you thought Dr. Hm was your enemy, which is why I have to be clear about who is who. Just want to make sure that you know who the bad guy is, Paralyte, and that there is no further confusion in your quest to defeat Paralyte and rescue the Infinites. Something is going on here. Christ, I'm already confused. Who's Valet? Valet?

Valet is the doctor's automaton created to train you. - Great. - Doctor offers the mayor a quizzical look and says, - Yes, of course, Mayor. Paralite. Please believe me when I say it was meant to be a simple training exercise for you all, but I never expected... Well, to be honest, I never expected any of the past few weeks to happen. Again, I apologize.

You all must have a myriad of queries and you have already been through a great deal this morning because of me. But has anyone seen my wheelie chair? Uh, I, uh, Mud looks around. I'll tell you what, uh, if everyone could make me a intelligence check. Oh, sorry, Gum-Gum.

And I'm looking good for Gum-Gum. That's a beefy three for Mud. Oh, yeah. 16 minus three, 13. Seven. He's got minus three. 19 for Bart. Bart and Gum-Gum both seem to recall that maybe you saw it in the room with all the junk in it that was being cleaned up and straightened out. The one where we thought if we helped organize, something would happen and then nothing happened. Exactly. You think you may have seen it in that room.

That's all closed off now, isn't it? Didn't the spikes come down? I don't know. We should go back and look. Everything's reset. Remember, the spikes went back up after you cleared the room with the bear. Got it. Hey, Dr. Achoo, did you... Is Paralite real, or is this...

Is Valet been Paralyte the whole time? Kaiborg, I'm afraid Paralyte is very real. Valet was simply posing as Paralyte and took it a bit too far, I might add. I'm not convinced. If someone could retrieve my chair, I'd very much appreciate it.

Am I still holding a chair? I mean, me and Gum-Gum know exactly where it is, so why don't we go get it? Okay. Have fun. I'll tell you what, Kyborg, since you don't seem to believe Dr. Achoo, as you call him, you can roll an insight check if you want to see if you think he's telling the truth or not. I may just do that. Hi-yah! 13. As far as you can tell, you believe that he is telling the truth. I still don't believe it. Ha ha ha!

Gum Gum and Bart, I guess, return to the room where you previously encountered the automatons. And you do find the wheelie chair. You bring it back into this room? Yeah. When Gum Gum, when they say to go get the thing, Gum Gum sprints off, but he runs without moving his arms. Oh, so just like Chris.

Arms straight down at your side. And just like, yeah, and just like sprints as quickly as possible and grabs the thing and comes back. All right. Well, I guess screw Bart then. Bart watches only moving his arms, not his legs as Gum-Gum goes and fetches the chair. And comes back and brings it before, yeah, before Bart. And I go, good job, Gum-Gum. You did good. Good memory. I'm proud of you.

Yeah, I think we're all a little surprised at Gum-Gum's use of his brain there. I think it's because he was on the lookout. He was holding so many chairs.

The whole time, you know, he was holding, that was his thing. So he was hyper aware of chairs. You know what? I go over to Dr. Koff and I'm going to help him into his chair. Here, good sir, let me help you out. And then I want to steal something from him without him knowing.

Okay, I guess make a sleight of hand check. Got it. Plus four modifier, baby. 24. Boom. I can rob him blind. I want everything. I want the plans. I want his wallet. I want all of it. I want to know what this guy is on about because I don't buy it. Okay, you rifle through his pockets and you pull out an empty flask of booze.

Like you could, you surmise that there was alcohol in there based on the smell, but it appears to have been drained. What's in his wallet? Any pictures? Any family pictures? Capital One. That's all you were able to grab. As you set Dr. into his chair, he says, Oh, thank you. Over the years, I have grown accustomed to being the one asked for help. I'm afraid I still have not acclimated to asking for it myself.

I don't understand much of what's going on right now, but mud's down to just go with the flow. TLDR, we're being lied to, and we're being gaslit by Dr. Ha!

All I know is Mud is enjoying his cup of dirt coffee. Mayor Prattle pipes in and says, Perhaps we could do with some rest, huh? Why don't we take some time to get bandaged up and take some time to relax? Love it. Hey, Mayor Prattle, when you were in college, did you join a fraternity and did they call you Mayor Frattle?

Oh, you know my brother? Hey! All right, cool. Sounds like a cool guy. Does he by any chance know a Judge Fred? Yeah. We don't talk about him. Their families have similar naming conventions. Yes. Well, there was also, what was it, Guard Grattle. Guard Grattle, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Prattle, prattle, prattle. Mayor Prattle continues and says... Could I ask for a moment alone with the doctor, interns? Why don't you head to the Throne Gauntlet Tavern and unwind? Perhaps we can meet up later in town. Let's say at sundown. Sounds like a great idea. Sundown, got it. I will mark it on my Google Calendar. I pretend to walk away as if I'm leaving, but I have this thing called Mask of the Wild where it says you can attempt to hide even when you're only lightly obscured. So I want to like...

I want to hide. I want to hear what these guys are talking about. Where did you get Mask of the Wild from? What is that? I don't know. It's just listed in my other things on actions. So I want to use it. I'm throwing everything at you, Gus. It's a wood elf ability. I see. Oh.

So you can attempt to hide even when you are only lightly obscured by foliage, heavy rain, falling snow, mist, and other natural phenomena. What natural phenomena are you trying to hide in here, Kyborg? What's going on here? When I look around, what's going on? You're in Dr. M's workshop. There's a lot of, there's a conveyor belt, a tool. Smoke from the, smoke from machines, steam, steam. Is there any steam? I guess there was the,

It's not near you. There's like furnaces going. It's not near the exit. Well, I'll tell you what. Okay, go ahead and make me a stealth check. Everyone

Everyone's, you know, moving towards the door. Kyborg kind of hops out from the rest of the party and tries to hide behind some steam that is non-existent. And the steam moves on from the position and he's just kind of crouching in the open. Could Bart be quietly playing the Mission Impossible theme song on his late suite? He could be slowly, quietly plucking it. Thanks, Bart. I appreciate it. It's really getting me in the mood. As he's escorting everyone out, the mayor stops and stares at Kyborg and says, uh,

What are you doing? You know what? Never mind. Would you care to join your friends? I can provide you all with your stipend as well. Oh, naturally. Yeah, yeah. I was just checking for rats. The mayor reaches into his purse and pulls out two gold pieces and hands it to each of you. Oh, nice. How much will you give me for this flask?

Do you show him the flask? No, no, I keep it hidden. Oh, okay. For DNA analysis later. Mayor Prattle continues. Perhaps this would be a good opportunity for you to get to know Boulderay. Might I recommend a drink at the tavern with some of the patrons? Or you could check out the school library. It features some of the lovely books and infinite artwork. The mayor leads you all outside of the headquarters and shuts the door behind you.

Should we not ask what happened whenever they got kidnapped? I guess that's for another time. You all are outside the headquarters now. Sorry, what was our options of where we could go? You can either head over to the tavern for some relaxation or you can head over to the school library and maybe do some research on the Infinites. Oh, Mud's not much for reading, so Mud's going to go to the tavern.

Gum Gum's going to go to the library. Should we get some rest? To answer Bart, I was planning on getting some rest at the tavern. Yeah, I would like to get some rest. Would that be... I'm guessing would we get a short rest or long rest from that? Or is it like we got to be sleeping for that kind of thing? You could take a long rest at the tavern. I'm going to go to the tavern too. So everyone's going to the tavern except for Gum Gum is going to the library? Yeah, he wants to read up on magic.

And as we know, he's an excellent reader. Can we take long rests at the library? I don't think so. We're there while he's reading and we're sleeping in the library. I'm going to the tavern. I'll just make that very clear. Mud is going to the tavern. I want to make it clear. I want to go to the library, but I want to fall asleep and snore really loud at the library. That is my intention.

Okay, so updated plan. Bart and Mud are going to the tavern and Gum Gum and Kyborg are going to the library. Yes. Yeah. Go Nannies. Not a big deal. We're going to go ahead and handle this. You know, I'll handle one, then we'll handle the other. I'm going to roll a die just to see which one we'll do first. Okay. Cool. I'm going to roll a d4. If it's one and two, we'll do tavern. If it's three and four, we'll do library. It is a two. So we're doing tavern first.

So GumGum and Kyborg, you guys sit tight. We'll get back to you guys in just a second. We're going to deal with Bart and Mud first.

Sweet. You guys leave the Infinite headquarters and you say goodbye to your friends and your travel companions and you head over to the Throne Gauntlet Tavern. A thin haze of tobacco fills this rustic rum-stained watering hole. It looks to be a slow day as there's only a few patrons seated at the bar. A rosy-cheeked female dwarf bounds from customer to customer, refilling drinks, bussing tables, bobbing back to the kitchen, and then she suddenly springs up in front of you.

I'm Hops. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you. You just name it and it's yours. Don't even hesitate. As far as I'm concerned, the customer is always right. Take a seat wherever you like and I will be right with you. And she zips off around the room once again. Bart is so infatuated with Hops that he didn't hear anything she just said. Mud's a bit overwhelmed by that much social energy and just wants to find a table. Bart's a bit of a ladies man. So he's now hyper focused in on this.

He goes, what a woman. Hey, mate, let's just find a table over here. And so I order some food, maybe. You down with that? Oh, absolutely. You go ahead and find a seat. You look around. There's four patrons currently in the tavern. And on the table in front of you, there's a menu. And it's got three specials of the day marked at half price. Oh, lovely.

You have your choice between marinated mountain goat with maple mint julep, giant owl jambalaya with jaspery jam tarts, or suckling stir-dry soup with spider swarm souffle.

Mud is definitely a lover of the swamp land area, so he's going to go with some good old jambalaya for this round. What a deal. Only eight silver pieces. Oh, my God. Is the waitress coming back? Not yet. She's disappeared somewhere. You don't know where she is. What's she going to get? Bart requires some sustenance, of course, but Bart is a little low on the cash spectrum of things. So Bart's going to try to maybe woo the waitress a little bit to see if she could hook him up with some food.

Is that an option in taverns? You either pay or you can compliment the lady? Well, you haven't seen Bart's wink. Cash, grass, or ass. You know the saying. Like I said, there's also four other patrons in the tavern. You see there's a female half-elf, a male mountain dwarf, a female halfling, and some kind of goliath.

Oh, it's a Galea. Oh, very cool. Hops comes back and says, So have you made any decisions? What can I get you? I'd love an order of the Jambalaya, please. Oh, excellent. The jasper jam is so delicious. Make that two, sweet cheeks. Make a, what would you do? Attempt at flirting. Again, you haven't seen Bart's wink yet. Make a charisma check. Charisma check. Here we go.

Oh, glad you're doing that. I ain't a charismatic boy. All right, we got a 12. Not bad, not bad. She says, ooh, of course, yes, anything for you. She dashes off into the kitchen. All right, should we get a little social with some of the locals? Not a fan of talking, but I assume we're going to be here for a while, so it might help to make friends. Bart loves friends, yes. Let's talk to everyone. Oh, okay. Are they all at separate tables or all together? No, we'll say they're all at separate tables.

Mud is much more comfortable with the larger folk as he is a big boy himself and he wants to say hi to the Goliath. So can I go over to the Goliath? Yeah. Do you both go or is it just Mud? I invite Bart to come with me. Yeah, I come with him. But I'm standing behind him so that the Goliath can't see me. Okay. You walk over and there's a...

you know, a hefty looking Goliath sitting by itself. You approach and it looks up and locks eyes with you. Ptolemy, can I buy you a pint? That sounds great. Have a seat, friend. I'm Tic Tac. I love that name, my friend. Bart pops out behind Mud and goes, you're a what now? Where did you come from? I'm Mud and this is my little friend, Bart. Oh, Tic Tac. Pleasure to meet you, Bart.

Tic Tac. What is that? Please shake Tic Tac's hand with your tiny little halfling hand. Tic Tac sticks a large hand out in front of you. Bart reaches out and places his tiny little hand in the palm of Tic Tac. But he gives it a deceivingly strong and firm handshake. Ooh, make a strength check. Let's see that strength. You got it.

Here it comes. 15. 15? That's a good shake. That's an unexpectedly strong shake. I should have... Oh, man, that would have been a good time to slap Bart's butt and give him a little bit of an extra boost. Tic Tac smiles in admiration. Oh, firm handshake, friend. Tic Tac, what brings you to the tavern today? Oh, just trying to unwind. Got to get a lot of work done on the farm. It's hard work farming out here. What the...

What do you have to know about these Infinites? The Infinites? Mmm. Great heroes. They've done well to help Bouldere ever since the mining collapse. You know, I was a miner once myself, but we don't do that anymore around here, so gotta stick to the farming. But the Infinites have really, really helped us through some tough times. Oh. What happened to the mine? Well, I could tell you, but, you know, what do I get out of it? I'd like to hear a personal story about you as well.

Bart, you got a tale to weave for our friend here? Well, one time when I was a little younger, I was doing some things in my room and my mom walked in and it was a very uncomfortable situation for me. But grabs Bart's face and just puts his hand over his mouth and says, maybe that story's for another time, man. Roll me a performance check, Bart. Okay, here we go.

I'd say 12. Ooh. Tic Tac seems very interested. Oh, what happened next? Well, thanks for asking. I'm happy to completely finish the story off for you. Mud is frantically looking for the waitress for their food to arrive to change this. Tic Tac says,

Well, I'll share with you. You started sharing with me. I'll start sharing with you. Ah, wonderful. You know, Boulderay used to be a mining town. Not very profitable. Our predominant mineral was this purple glowing rock called Sangria Knight. Sangria Knight, yeah. Yeah, but all that stopped after the cave-in. You see, a few years back, we were working a normal shift in the caves down below the village.

And suddenly we were caught in an unexpected massive cave-in. Simple accident. Most people survived. Handful of people were left injured and one miner died. Oh, which miner? Well, why don't you tell me more of your story? Oh, it's a little tit for tat with Tic Tac.

Yeah, like I said, my mom walked in and basically caught me with my pants down. Luckily, I hadn't finished what I was doing. Roll me a performance check. His voice starts to waver a little bit. But luckily, I rolled a 22. Whoa! That's an excellent roll. He goes, oh, I can't wait to hear more.

The cave-in was officially declared an accident with unknown cause. Some of the other miners say they heard shouts echoing in the caves beforehand and some sort of loud bang. There were three miners injured in the cave-in: Austin Tash, Leonard Lank, and Bo Bender. The only miner who died on site from the cave-in was Fred Burns, who was married to Marcy Burns, who was a local cleric.

Why don't you finish your story? I'd love to hear the end here. Oh, yeah. How did it finish? My mom just started leaving and then my dad came in as well because he heard a bit of a hubbub. And then they both seemed very disappointed in me and then they left and then I never saw them again. Oh, God. Roll me one final performance check here. Eight. That's an eight.

Well, I'll tell you what. Tell me a little more of the story, but incorporate an accent of some kind. This is a fun game.

Well, me mom, then she came back from her bedroom. I thought they had left me for good. Ah, but little did I know that they were just having a discussion about how they hadn't yet talked to their son about sensitive subjects. Then I learned a whole lot. They gave me many books and gave me many videotapes to watch, and I'm all the better for it. Bravo, bravo. All right. So wait, what were you doing in your room?

Practicing magic? What did you think I was talking about? Tic Tac seems enthralled. His eyes are super wide. That's a great story. Sure is. Sure is. Well, you see, after the cave-in, no one wanted to work in the mines anymore as they were unsound, which is why I'm a farmer now. The mayor dispatched five citizens to neighboring realms, the Elder Pines and the Sheer Lakes, for assistance and some trade, but I really don't know what happened with them. Oh, okay.

So did everybody... Sorry, go ahead. No, you go, Matt. No, you go ahead. It's quite all right. I'll go ahead. No, I want to hear from Tic Tac. But that's about all I know about that. Oh, okay. That was all you wanted to say. Got it. Glad we had that little kerfuffle. So basically everybody had to change their profession and find other means of work. And so no one's...

No one's even attempted to like, unearth the mine? Oh, it's way too dangerous to go down there. Right, right. Okay. Right around then you see hops coming out of the kitchen, placing food down on your table. Not where you are now, your table where you are sitting, I should say. Right. Oh, lovely. Did you order some food, Tic Tac? Tic Tac has a large mug of ale. Well, since we can't share in food, should we have a toast?

A toast. A toast. To the infinites. To the infinites. To the infinites. And lessons for young boys to learn in their room.

Educate yourself, children. Hear, hear. Cheers. You all clink your goblets together. Yeah. And mud is now 100% focused on this wonderful dish of food. We're going to go ahead and take a little break here. We're going to switch over to the library and see what's going on with our friends over there. I think it's pronounced library. Library. Libations. Libations.

So we got Gum Gum and Kyborg were heading over to the library. Yeah. As you guys are leaving Infinite Headquarters, you spot a signpost directory that says "School" and it points to the other side of the village out to the east. You follow the sign to a wooden footbridge without a railing that overlooks an enormous ravine. The deep crevice seemingly divides the town in half. On the other side, you see a road that bends left and another signpost that reads "School".

You guys want to try to cross the footbridge and get over to the school? Get over to the other side of town where the school is? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, both of you go ahead and roll me a constitution saving throw. 21. Baby. All right. Stop dragging ass. Seven. Okay. Kyborg leads the way across the footbridge.

And as you're all about halfway across, Gum-Gum makes the mistake of looking down into the deep ravine. And you feel like the whole world is spinning around the ravine.

You feel like you're going to fall. You're just afraid of being this high, and you do everything you can to scramble to the other side of the ravine. Gum-Gum, you feel like you're forever changed. You feel like you have a debilitating fear of heights. Oh, Gum-Gum doesn't... I don't like it. I don't like it so high up there. Let's just stay over here. I see what happens, and I hug him. I hug Gum-Gum. There, there, little buddy. It's okay. It's okay. Shh.

Rub his little noggin. Let's get to the library so we can get some shut-eye. Did I tell you how I'm a wizard? That's right, Gum Gum. You're the best wizard there ever is. That's right, man.

Yeah, I'm going to learn spells. Okay, you do that. I'm going to nap the hell out on a table. As you round the bend on the path, you find three small neighboring buildings with a large wooden sign that should read Boulder Ray Heights School, but it's been vandalized for graffiti, so it now reads, Boulder Ray is high, fool. Nice. I don't like highs. Nice.

It's a good one. So there's three neighboring school buildings, each with a front door. Starting with the one on the left, that seems like the first two have signs that read, due to budget cuts, school is closed until further noticed. Only the third door on the right has a sign that says school library. And it seems like that door is open.

I go in. I've gone as well. The musty smell of old books, stale parchment, and a hint of grass floods your senses as you enter a small 20 foot by 20 foot creaking building dimly lit overhead by a large flickering lantern. To your right is a curved reading nook with a pair of secondhand armchairs and four marble busts.

Straight ahead is a floor-to-ceiling bookcase with several shelves, many of them empty or missing books. To your left is a desk with two black-feathered Kenku teenagers. One has dreads and he's tuning a lyre. The other is burly and she is currently ripping off the sleeves from her tunic. Hello, I'm Gum-Gum. And then I just go to the bookcase and start looking. The Kenku stare at Gum-Gum as he walks by. One of them says, Are you really going to- Where's that? What? What? What?

One more time. Say that again. The other one says, okay, show me what you got, punk. What is happening? We're just here to read books and take naps. So I'm Kyborg. This is my friend Gum Gum. He's looking for some I spy books. All right. We don't mean any trouble. No, oblo magic spaniel. Gum Gum can totally translate that.

Gum-Gum, what did they say? He said... He said he likes us. Oh. And we're friends. Oh. Oh. Hello. The first one says... I'm ever so sorry, but you simply cannot bring that in here. Bring what? This is Gum-Gum. He's a person. I'm looking around. The other one starts... What you think is laughing. It's kind of a bird person. A laughter. And it says... Hello, I'm Gum-Gum.

Oh, damn. Wait. No, no, I'm gum gum. No, he's gum gum. No, no, I'm gum gum. No, he's gum gum. You're not gum gum. You don't look anything like gum gum. The other one says you don't look anything like gum gum. I roll initiative! Let's go!

For one am very happy with our choices of going to the tavern. I rolled a five. It was a nat one, but I rolled a five with my thing. It's not called a nat one. It's called a critical fail. Whatever. Roll me an initiative, GumGum. Wait, are we fighting it? Hell yeah, we are. Kyborg's rolling initiative, so. This thing's making fun of you. I think Kyborg's about to throw hands. I pull back. It's like, no, no, no.

Gum Gum is good. Yeah, but they're bad. They're making fun of you. You don't realize if you're being bullied right now, bro. No, no. If Gum Gum, if they're Gum Gum, then Gum Gum is good. That means they're friends. Are you friends with Gum Gum? I'm absolutely. We're the closest of friends, Gum Gum. That's why I'm trying to defend your honor. But Kenku with the dreads says, hey, there's a guy here that wants to see you outside.

I can't- I can't even tell what's real and what's them just making fun of us right now, Gum Gum. You better go outside. Alright, uh, which- See who? Gum Gum? The other one says, "Hello, I'm Gum Gum." Okay, well then he wants to- someone wants to see you outside.

That one also says, "What is happening? We're just here to take naps." This is turning into Who's On First and I love it. I just- Anyway, I'm gonna read a book. I'm gonna- I turn back and I start reading a book. They both say, "Anyway, I'm gonna read a book." Oh god.

I'm surrounded by morons. I peek outside. I don't walk outside. I peek outside to see if there's actually someone out there. I can't believe I'm falling for this. For some reason, Bart has a sense of happiness that he went to the tower and came over here. Roll me a perception check, Kyborg. Oh, this jambalaya is great. 18. You don't see anyone or anything outside out of the ordinary, but you hear the one kink who say, I'm surrounded by morons. Oh.

Wait, who'd you say- I'm not a moron. Then the other one says, I'm Gum Gum. Yeah, he's not a moron, I'm not a moron, and he's not a moron. You're the moron. It says, You're the moron. No, you're the moron. You're the moron. He replies, No, I'm not. You're the moron. No, I'm Gum Gum. I'm a great wizard. And forevermore, they are now stuck in a loop for the end of time. And I get up and I get up in his face and I lift him up and shake him.

You shake him? It seems like the Kenku once again is laughing. He says, Haven't we met before? Jumbo drops him like really confused. As he falls to the ground, he says, I'm surrounded by morons.

I'm feverishly looking through the library slash on my internet webpage to see what a canku looks like. It's a large black bird that walks around like almost humanoid. Got it. Okay. I just want to take a nap, Gum-Gum, and you just need to read your books.

While you're looking around, you do notice that there are four large marble busts. Okay. Do they look like anything? Are they the infinites? Are they like mere piranha? What do they look like? I try to perceive them. Yes, it's four marble busts. Each of them depicts the head of an infinite. Got it. There's a sleek, spectral, grisly, a leaf. Well, then I go to observe these and see if there's any secret buttons or anything like that.

Which one do you want to take a look at first? Aleve, the medicine. I need Aleve right now because my head is splitting. There you go. All right. Aleve appears to be a tattooed halfling with facial scars, scarlet hair, and wearing an eye patch. The label reads Aleve. All right. Are you just leaving Gum Gum to deal? He's holding one of these kinkoos up and he just walked away to go look at some busts. I'm trying to see if there's like a kill switch for these things.

Gum Gum is still dealing with the Kenku. You can hear back and forth them saying, hello, I'm Gum Gum. I'm Gum Gum. Can I just yell, like, what do you want? Like, really try and, like, scare him? Sure. Roll an intimidation check, actually. Gum Gum's getting pissed off now.

It's a nat one. I've had the worst rolls. They just, you assume it's laughter. They're just cackling, laughing with each other. You approach the bust of Aleve Kyborg and it says, Peace to you, dear Kyborg. I am Marcy Burns, or as my patients call me, Aleve the Amender. That's nice. A little interactive experience. It's like a Hall of Presidents situation here. Yeah.

See if you can get all the bus to start singing spooky scary skeletons. Hey, do you actually talk, Aleve, or are you just like a programmed automaton? All my days off, I rather enjoy preparing a hearty feast for my friends and loved ones. We got an automaton here. We got an automaton. All right. Uh.

Gum-Gum hears them talking and comes over, sticks the bird that he's holding under his arm like he's carrying a sack of potatoes upside down and walks over and stands with Kaibork. What's this? Hey, you know what? I'm going to make it talk and then we're going to see if this stupid Cancun will mimic this thing and then it'll just bother this bird, this hat. What am I saying? This bust. Sorry, I had a stroke. Bust.

The Kenku have broken your brain? They sure have. All right. Hey, what was your name, Aleve? Tell me more about you, Aleve. To all those who suffer from ailments of any kind, my halfling heart breaks for you, for I have known pain and affliction all too well. Call on me, and I will offer remedies and treatment to heal weary bodies and weary souls. The Kenku under Gum-Gum's arm just says, I'm surrounded by morons. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

What's the other one say? I don't know. Let's go to the other one. So we go to the one that's closest by. Your other options are Sleek, Spectral, and Grizzly. Spectral? This one looks like the head of a slender half-orc with pierced ears and cropped black hair. The label reads Spectral. Come closer, Kyborg. It's me, Leonard Lenk. Or perhaps you know me by my alias, Spectral the Surreptitious.

Wait, are you like really a thing or are you just a talking head? Can you keep a secret? To be candid, I have fondness, not only for clandestine affairs, but also love affairs. Sadly, I'm on the move too often to settle down, but maybe one day someone will come by and sweep me off my feet. Can I try and lift the bust? That's a good question. While you're holding a kenku? Yeah, make a strength check and roll it twice for me.

It was 13 and 16. You're at disadvantage because you have a Kenku under your arm. So we'll take the 13. The bust seems to be attached very solidly to the base. It can't lift you off your feet. Sorry. That's really good.

I'm gonna give GumGum an inspiration die for that. That was really good. That made me laugh. Oh, damn. The bust continues. A fair warning to you browbeaters, bullies, and bandits. I may be slim and slight for a half-orc, but that's why you'll never see me coming. That is, before it's too late. Wait, I look around to see if there's actually a knife being drawn on us right now. Make a perception check. I'm in a house of horrors. Thirteen.

You don't notice anything. The Kenku under Gum-Gum's arm says, I'm surrounded by morons. My God. Shut up! We know the feeling. Can we choke these Kenku out? Do either of them look like more like a magician or a wizard? We can't brush over the fact that Kyborg just asked if they could kill this person. I said choke them out. I just want them to take a nap so that I can take a nap. I want to say no. None of them seems like wizardy, if that's what you're asking, Gum-Gum. Hmm.

Well, I guess we'll go to the next. Whichever one looks the most magical. We go to grizzly. You go to grizzly? Okay. This is the one that I take the most fondness to. Yeah. This looks to be the head of an earth genasi wearing a dusty bandana atop a mop of hair. The label reads grizzly. Sweet. You think of genasi as being like beings from another plane. They kind of look like genies, but maybe a little more humanoid. Like when you think of a genie, you think kind of like, you know,

Full of air. I think a genie from a land with no legs. These guys definitely have legs. Like gin? Similar. It's like G-E-N-A-S-I. Oh, okay. Yeah, just trying to give a mental picture for our listeners. Got it. I can only see Robin Williams. Does it have a nose? Yes. I stick my finger in its nose. The bust roars. Roar!

Fear not, little kyborg. It's your butt, Bowbender. Or as my trembling foes know me, Grizzly the Groundbreaker. You hear that, Kankugle? Okay. I say, what information do you have for us? To be honest, I feel most at home in the wild woods and hills with my fellow flora and fauna. I could lie under the shady tree for hours on end, but I wouldn't want to be the fellow that tries to wake this beast.

I like this guy. I just woke him up though. Okay, so do you have any other information? Are you alive? Are you sentient? Or are you just a recording? Despite my hunched and arsey back, neither massive monstrosity, no merciless mercenary has ever bested me in battle. And believe me, my hammer and I plan to keep it that way. Didn't you get kidnapped?

You hear the voice continue. Next time you're in the throne gauntlet tavern, come and find me. You can share an ale and a friendly arm wrestle with your fierce friend, Grizzly. This definitely seems like these are just pre-recorded things. All right, just because I'm a completionist, we go to the last one, which I believe was Sleek, not Spectral. Yes, you are correct, Sleek. It looks to be a bearded dwarf with flowing auburn hair and a winning smile. The label reads Sleek.

Hail and how do you do, fair cyborg? I'm Austin Tash, but my fans know me by my stage name, Sleek the Symphonious. I give him a wet willy. I suck on my finger a little bit, stick it in his ear.

I simply adore finding ostentatious tunics for my dwarven figure, making memorable melodies that will stop you in your tracks and serenading my sweet supporters with loquacious lyrics accompanied by my

Cool. Well, I am no further or no closer to getting a rest. This was a total waste of my time, but I'm sure it's going to come to play later in the story. Few folks know that while on my rise to fame and fortune, I happened upon a dual-headed dragon that stole two fingers off my right hand. But they foiled me not, for I slayed both serpentine heads single-handed.

One for each finger. So, Gum Gum, do you want to keep reading or do you think we should kill these birds? Hello, I'm Gum Gum. Oh, God. Can I just look and see if there's any books that would be about magic? Yeah, you see a few books on the shelf here. It doesn't seem like anything's written on any of the spines. Can I just look through, grab a couple really quick and see if there's any?

that stick out to me? Sure. One kind of stands out. You reach for it and pull it off the shelf. And as you pull it off the shelf, the book sprouts fangs and tries to bite at you. Make a dexterity saving throw. Okay, I have advantage on those. Right. You have danger sense? Yeah. Danger sense! 20. So 20 and 6. I'll go with the 20. Yeah. You manage to toss the book out of your hand before the fangs are able to bite you. And both Kenku start laughing maniacally when they see this happen. Oh.

Could I not have used the Cancun and had it bite the Cancun? So you know, it happens too quickly. Like if you held it in your hand, it would have bitten. Like if you tried to move it, it would have bitten. Okay. Okay. I don't like these books. I don't like these books.

Which one said that? The one under Gum-Gum's arm. Okay. Gum-Gum, I'm going to be honest. I kind of want to pick up the other Kenku just so I could hold it so we could be holding birds and be like, all right, let's do that. Okay. All right. I go to grab the other Kenku to hold my hands like a one Gum-Gum. This one doesn't want to seem to be picked up as much. So I guess make a strength check. 16. 16.

This one tries to resist you and fight back, but you're able to pick it up off the ground as well. Gum-Gum, I'm just like you. Look at me. The one under Kyborg's arms says, Hello, I'm Gum-Gum. Now who's Gum-Gum? What do we do with these? What is your end game with this? Do you want to smash? Smash the birds. Yeah.

I think that's a little violent in Gum Gum. Right as you all are talking, trying to figure out what to do, the door for the library opens up and it's Mayor Prattle. Hello. Kyborg, Gum Gum, here you are.

It's almost sundown. Let's regroup at the tavern and go over our next course of action. I haven't been able to take a nap, and Gum-Gum didn't get to read his books. I'm taking the bird. What are you doing with that student? Put him down. Put him back. Oh, God, these are children. Gum-Gum, let it go. You're at a school library, my dude. Well, they're making fun of us. They started it. They started it, Mayor Prattle.

The one that Kyborg puts down says, don't even. I know what you did last summer. Mm-hmm. So dumb. How did they know that I went to camp? Mayor Prattle says, Hardy, Sophie, you two behave yourselves. I don't have time for your shenanigans. Gum-Gum, Kyborg, let's go. All right. Okay. As we leave, though, I look back at them and I give them the two fingers to the eyes and then back to them and I say, stay in school, kids.

They stick their little bird tongues out at you. Okay, I leave. Mirror Prattle leads you all back over to the tavern. Bart and Mud, I guess you're finishing up your food at this point.

Oh, yes. What a nice, relaxing time we've had. This is a lovely tavern, isn't it, Bart? Oh, absolutely. I'm so glad to be here with you, my friend, Mud. Yeah. I imagine they had a terrible time at the library. My family's always had a saying, nothing good comes out of a library. Wise, wise. Brumblecracks are not much readers.

You all finish up your giant aljambalaya, and Hopps was right. The jaspery jam is actually very delicious. Hopps comes by one more time and says, Is there anything else I can get for you guys? How about your number? Roll me a charisma check part. He winks. Does that get an advantage? That wink.

Oh, she seems to blush a little bit. Oh, you flatter me. I bet you say that to every woman in every tavern you go to. You must be some great adventurer who travels the land with a woman in every town. Yes, but I have many women in many towns, but wouldn't you like to be my woman in this town? What an offer. She says, Oh, aren't you a sweet one? Maybe you can come back after I've closed up for the evening. Ah, sounds good. You know, I don't want to be too pushy. So, uh,

If you feel like it, I'm always around. And then he winks again. Make one more charisma check. 25. Oh, that's a natural 20. That's a nat. She says, You know, I live upstairs above the tavern, so just come back sometime after I close. Whoa.

Will do. All right. Right around then, Mayor Prattle shows up at the door with Gum Gum and Kyborg in tow. All right. Now that you've been able to rest up a bit, let's head back to headquarters. Right. Sounds good to me. Has anybody taken a rest at this point, or are we still kind of damaged from HP, or from previous battle? We'll say, yeah, everyone, we'll give everyone credit for a long rest. Even me? Yeah. Thank God. Somewhere you think you hear a Kenku say, even me?

Hey, nice seeing you guys. Me and GumGum had a great time. We learned a lot at the library. Made some new friends. Made some new local friends. That's great. Yeah, it was a good time. So did we. We met a wonderful Goliath named Tic Tac. It was nice. I read a book and it bit me. Almost.

Mayor Prattle escorts you guys back to the Infinite headquarters. As you approach the threshold for Infinite's headquarters, the front door's infinity symbol dims from its usual purple glow and the door automatically swings open. Inside, you see Dr. Ahem sitting in his wheelie chair accompanied by Adan and Dent, the eyeball automatons.

Doctor, ahem, greets you. Welcome back, interns. I hope you feel as rested as I do. I've taken the liberty of granting each of you security clearance to our headquarters, including the front entrances. That means no more shocking doors, Kyborg. Thanks, Doctor. Please, come in. I can't wait to show you what I've been working on all day.

Don't mind if we do. You enter the same T-shaped lobby, but instead of leather furniture and a bar, there's a table in the center of the room with four bracelets and a set of tools. Jewelry. Doctor explains, I wanted another attempt at officially training you all for future missions, but these will be exercises that will hone your skills while not being lethal. Plus, I'll coach you along the way.

I have prepared three training exercises. They will test you as a team. Not only your collective skills, but your cooperation. But no matter the outcome of these exercises, at the conclusion of the training, we will all head over to the tavern for free drinks on me as a team. How does that sound? That sounds wonderful. So why did the people get kidnapped?

What happened? We're hoping to get to the bottom of that, and you are all going to assist us in figuring that out, my dear Gum-Gum. Yeah, but what did you see when they got taken? That is, well, it's still too traumatic for me to talk about. I believe I have a solution to that problem, though.

and I promise to explain later on at the tavern. What's up with the bracelets? Oh, I'm glad you asked, Kyborg. You see, on the table are bracelets I've designed to grant transient health protection, or as I call it, THP.

While you wear these, you'll be granted realistic protection equal to your life force. If weapon attacks or spells are inflicted on you, you won't be injured, but instead lose THP. I only like THC. Nice, bro. But if you exhaust your THP, you won't pass out or die. You will simply be put in timeout until you're able to be revived by a teammate. Make sense?

So these are temporary hit points. No, no, no. THP stands for Transient Health Protection. I didn't say that in Mudd's voice. That was me just saying it in meta. That sounds great. I am also supplying your team with this set of thieves tools. To be clear, I am not endorsing criminal activity, merely providing tools that will assist you in being covert while on mission.

You can use these tools to pick locks, foil traps, as well as increase your own awareness and knowledge on appropriate subjects, such as creating your own traps. Nevertheless, I will let the four of you decide who would be best suited for these tools. Choose wisely. I got pretty good stealth and sleight of hand and all that stuff, so I would be okay doing it if you guys want me to.

Mud's got giant non-dexterous hands, so hard pass. I'm very dexterous. So wait, it's a... Sleight of hand and stealth would be something to look at. Yeah, some thieves. I mean, I'm not going to do that. I have plus four on both. Okay, I'm fine with kyborg. Yeah. Cool equipment. What are they called? Thieves things? Thieves tools. Thieves tools. Also, I want to make it clear that I put the bracelet on my...

automaton arm, my fake arm thing. Which arm? I think it's my right arm. You think? I thought he always goes left. Yeah. You know, that's wise. Like, I still have my left arm intact. Is he a cable or is he a winter soldier? Wouldn't you want to go right then? Like, you want to pivot into with your good arm or with your real arm?

Like if you turn to my left with your left arm, it's like you're, you don't have the full motion to swing. You can swing better to your right. The right arm is my prosthesis. I always go left because my, my left hand is still there. And I feel like that's kind of lucky. Gotcha. Okay. Strong side. Makes sense. I mean,

I mean, technically my right arm's my strong side because it's a giant golem arm, but you know. Doctor continues, Whenever you're ready for your training, just head downstairs. I'll be in contact with you every step of the way. Come, Atten, Dant, let's go get ready. The two eyeball automatons pick up the doctor's wheelie chair and carry him downstairs. Anybody else get a kind of a creepy vibe from that guy? Yeah, stranger danger. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Are you all going to head downstairs? Yeah, let's get this party moving. Let's do it. As you walk down the stairs, you hear Dr. Ahem's voice. Interns, I noticed this morning that you had a particularly hard time with one obstacle.

Doors. Therefore, the first exercise, though difficult, is simple enough. Everyone must get through the door on the other side of the room without being detected. Good luck. Oh. Oh dear. You step into the room and it's pitch black. You can't really see anything in front of yourself. If anyone has dark vision, they'd be able to make out anything that's in front of them or what's going on in this room. Who has dark vision in the party?

I do. I have dark vision. My name is Kyborg. Yeah, Bart does not. Oh, I don't have it. Bart just holds on to Gum-Gum. Gum-Gum, be my eyes. Did you say you do not have it, Mud? Do not have it. Furbogs do not see in the dark. So Gum-Gum and Kyborg can see in the pitch black. However, Bart and Mud cannot. But Bart is clinging to Gum-Gum and...

And Mud is just kind of standing there, I guess. Yep. Do you want to get up? We'll go up. Uppies. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bart puts his hands up to signal that he wants to be lifted up. Uppies. And then, yeah, I lift him and put him on my shoulders. Hey, hey, hey, Mud. Hey, Mud. You stand right there. Don't move. I am a nine foot tall dude. I'm not getting up on you. Unless you put Kaibar on your shoulders and he could be your eyes and just tell you where to go.

Skyborg's pretty big too. Yeah, that's true. Big boys. Yeah. You come through the doorway. It's about 130 feet. It's the width of the Great Hall, but it seems like there are obstacles placed in the way. There's three large columns throughout the room, as well as some boxes and crates scattered about. Additionally, it seems like you can hear footsteps, like some guards walking around inside this room. But we can't see them?

You can't see them currently. Like when you come in, there's a column directly in front of you. So you can either head to your left or to your right. I cast detect magic and see if I feel anything coming from either directions. Okay. You do not detect any magic coming from either the left or the right. All right. What do you guys want to do? I kind of want to stealth my way across personally.

Which way? I want to go left. Is everyone going left or is it just Kyborg? Sure, we'll follow Kyborg. Or I'll follow Kyborg. Follow your brave leader, my fellow soldiers. Bart is being carried by Gum-Gum, so Gum-Gum, Kyborg, and Mud all need to make a stealth check. Okay, this should be okay. It's not going to be okay. I did a five. I did an eight. Oh, boy. Thirteen. Roll initiative. You're fighting all the guards in the room all at once.

You hear footsteps approaching you more quickly now. You went to the left, correct? I did. You go to the left and you see that the path continues straight ahead in front of you, or you could turn to your right in the direction of the door that you're trying to get to. To your right as well, there's some crates that you think you could hide behind if you wanted to.

It's against my code, but I'm willing to go behind those crates. And I try to hand signal it to everybody in the group. In the dark? Yes. I see it. Just to gum gum. Just to gum gum. So do you all try to conceal yourselves in the crates or behind the crates? Yes. Mud, Kyborg, and Gum Gum go ahead and roll stealth checks again. Bart needs to be thinking about doing the stealth.

Yeah, think stealthy thoughts. 19. 17. I got a three. The source of the footsteps comes around the corner. It's a pair of guards and they spot Gum-Gum trying to hide behind the boxes. They point at him and yell. And as soon as they yell, it seems like the room resets and you guys are back at the beginning again. You can hear footsteps pacing around in the distance. This is going to take some time. Maybe we should split up.

Even though it's just a room, we're not splitting the party, technically, but one of us should go alone to try to get past the guards and the other ones can provide like a subtle distraction. Sorry to poke a hole in this strategy, but didn't the doctor say that we have to all get across? Yes, the doctor did, yeah. Maybe I could stealth kill them. So this is an all or nothing kind of thing.

I assume we should just try again. All right. Let's go again. Do you all want to go to the left or to the right? Right. To the right, I guess. You go to the right. Bart's making the call. Bart, I assume you're being carried by Gum-Gum again? Sure am. Okay. I want to throw Bart. Can I ask Mud for a rock? Do you have a rock? I always have rocks. Can I have a rock? What are you going to do with a rock?

I'm going to throw the rock. No, you can't have the rock. Please give me the rock. No, these are not throwing rocks. Everyone go ahead and make a stealth check. Except for Bart. Bart, you're fine. Woohoo! Bart's the stealthiest of us all. God dang it. A six, seven, and a four. Oh my God. You all go to the right. And once again, you hear the footsteps pick up the pace and sounds like they're getting louder coming towards you.

As you go to the right, it seems similar to how you went to the left, where you can continue going straight ahead or you can turn to your left and there's a corridor with some more broken down boxes and crates you can try to hide amongst. Could I run and grab a crate and fling it to the other side of the room? Sure, make a... Maybe we figure out which ways to go first. I think you know generally, like from here, you need to continue going north, basically. We're just moving cover to cover.

Right. And if they hear us, then we switch to the other cover. I'm assuming. Make a, I guess, athletics check, GumGum? Ten. Okay. We are not rolling.

I have a plus seven and I still got a ten. Yeah, you try to toss the crates to the other direction to, I guess, to distract the guards. But it hits the floor not too far in front of you and just slides across the floor. Ultimately, it ends up on the other side of the room, but it made a lot of noise along the way. Everyone go ahead and roll me stealth checks one more time here.

Except for Mark. God damn it. Five, seven, two. I have the worst rolls. The guards really pick up the pace. They both come around from the south and the north, and they point at you guys and yell, and the whole room resets. Is there something we're not thinking of to make this work? Because we are not being good.

Can I have a rock? If it's a simulation, we could just kill the guards stealthily, right? The stealth mission is, I believe, that we have to get across without being detected. That is correct. Dr. Um did say that. But, I mean, you can't get, you know, you can kill somebody and not be detected. Ask Chris. Is there anything on the ground I can throw?

No, nothing stands out. It seems like a fairly well cleaned and swept floor. Listen, these rocks are special to me. They're not for you to throw and just use for your little game. If you have something else you'd even throw, you'd like to throw, I'm more than happy to encourage you for that. If somebody in our party I'd like to throw. Okay, you all are back at the beginning. You hear footsteps walking around in the dark room. Let's go. Bart, are you letting GumGum pick you up again?

You know it. Okay. All right. Let's go. Let's try left again. Just for the hell of it. Yeah. Okay, everyone. Make your stealth checks. When we go left, I want to throw my hand axe to the right into the wall. Oh, my God. These rolls. We rolled a two and nine and a four. Could I roll a stealth check just for the hell of it? Sure. Just do it. Throw one in there. Oh, crap. That's seven.

Mine was 15. Ignore that that happened. Okay, that's pretty good. Make an attack roll to throw your hand axe. Bart will say that you're rolling to help. You're trying to quietly give advice. Whispering in his ear. Wow. I had a nat 1. A nat 1. Wow. What is happening today? Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

All right, you guys, you hear the footsteps pick up the pace yet again. It seems like they're zeroing in on your location. Go to the right. Is there any chance there's a cat in this room that I can see? You do not see any kitties. You go to the right. You see the boxes again. Everyone go ahead and make one more stealth check here. Six! I know.

I got an 18. Oh, we did good except for Kyborg. This is good. This is good. You guys try to nestle behind the boxes and hide yourselves. And the guards come around the corner, look up and down the passageway, and they keep moving. They go past you guys. We did it.

Oh, I'm a dum-dum. I smack Kyborg's butt and give him a little bit of a guidance so he can get added D4 to an ability check. There it is. Nice. At this point now, from your vantage point amongst the crates and boxes, you can see the door just a little further away from you guys. It's your goal. All you need to get through there undetected. I want to do several stealthy barrel rolls. Could I cast Minor Illusion?

of a sound like as far away from us as possible in the opposite direction? You could be, you could actually do that up to 30 feet away though. So it's not that far. Not that far. Okay. But you could, I mean, you could go for it. You could give it a shot. Yeah. Could she do it while we run the towards the door, like the opposite? But yeah, you could, you could absolutely try that. Okay. What's the noise? What's the noise Bart?

Sounds like a damsel in distress. Nailed it. Good job. Okay, Bart, cast a minor illusion away from you guys. And I guess you guys start moving over towards the door. You all arrive at the door, but the door is locked. I got this. And then I whip out the thieves toolkit thing. Full circles. Okay, make a dexterity check.

It's an eight. And add a D4 to it. It's a three. So 11. You fiddle with the thieves tools and the lock. You've never used this before. You've only seen people using it in the past, but you think you're able to quickly figure it out and you're able to unlock the door and it opens wide for you guys. Okay.

First try. First try. Y'all go through? Yes. Of course. Okay. Is it tall enough to where I don't hit Bart's head? Bart has to duck a little bit, just to be safe. Instead of on the shoulders, I turn into a backpack. A little papoose. You're backpacking, you're jetpacking. I could be a backpack while I climb.

Swing from a hairy van. You step through the door and it closes behind you. You feel a light mist spray against your face and the roar of rushing water. The floor beneath you begins to move forward and the rushing water starts getting closer and louder. What was once a spray is now a shower and suddenly you feel a cold wall of water crash over you. Torches ignite around you, revealing a stone room with a wooden table holding four towels. You hear the voice of Dr. Ahem.

Oh, well done, interns. You have succeeded with the first exercise. The second is meant to test both your heart and your mind. You have all just passed through a magical waterfall that replaced one of your teammates with a doppelganger.

The exercise is simple. Who is the imposter? You have three minutes to decide. By then, three of you must reach a consensus. But be warned, if you make the wrong choice, there will be consequences. If you don't provide an answer, then all may suffer. I believe in you! How do we know who's who? Who do I shoot? Timer starts now. Oh.

All right. I run to the towels and I try to perceive what they are. Roll a perception check. And now my rolls are okay. 16. They appear to be mundane towels to dry yourself off since you just went through the mist of the waterfall. Okay. I grab a towel. I wet the end of one. I start rolling it like I'm ready to towel whip somebody. And I say, which one of you is the doppelganger? I'm not two and a half minutes. It's not me. It's not me either. I could prove it to you. How? Listen to this. Hmm.

I have a question. Okay. Bart. Yes. Two minutes. Bart, what did we eat in the tavern? We had the jambalaya. That's correct. What did we have in the tavern, Mud? We had the jambalaya. What was the waitress's name? The waitress's name was Hopp.

Alright, alright, alright. He's good, he's good. Uh, Gum Gum. What did I eat in the tavern? Nothing. We weren't in the tavern. Quick, figure out between the two of you! Gum Gum, where did we go? One and a half minutes. We went to the library. What did we encounter there? Uh, the talky things. The annoying, the birds. Okay, ask me a question so I can prove it to you that I'm not the- Okay, what is- What did the book say to me? Well, it didn't say anything. It tried to bite you. Okay. Okay.

So we know nothing. We all think we're all telling the truth. Okay, alright. Uh, what number am I thinking? Not how this works, GumGum. 60 seconds. Guyver, which way do you always go? Left! Uh, Bart, uh, what instrument did you play for us the first time you played an instrument for us? A lute. I think that's correct. Uh, mud. Mud.

What why would you give me a rock earlier because they mean more to me than they me then you mean to me? But what do you like in your coffee? Oh? They're just lost and lost a day. You know guys. I don't I don't think any of us are the doppelganger I don't what if it's me 30 seconds. I don't think either look let's vote gum

What if it's me? I don't think it's me, but what if it is me? What if I vote none of us? Can I vote none of us? 20. No. Let's vote gum gum. Gum gum. No, no. Don't. 15. No, it's not me. Can we vote no one? You hear Dr. Ahem's voice say, 10 seconds left. Is it Dr. Ahem?

Let's vote, let's vote! Time to vote! I don't vote. I refrain from voting. I withhold my vote. Is that a thing? I vote on him! Oh, screw you. I guess I vote on Kyborg. Kyborg! Kyborg! Gum gum. We have to be three. We have to have a consensus. Gum gum. I vote on gum gum. We're split. Is that three for gum gum? It's two and two. I tied it up. Two and two. Oh, it's

It's tied. I changed my vote to go, go. No. What? Nope. Too late. It's tied two and two. That's where we were. You hear the voice of Dr. That is incorrect.

"Unfortunate, I'm afraid the correct answer was no one." "Goddammit!" "There was never a doppelganger among you. You see, believing in each other is how you will not only survive, but thrive as a team on this journey. Nevertheless, your choice has been made, and there will be consequences in the final episode." Is the lesson we're supposed to learn here also that leadership is going to lie to us constantly? Yeah.

And if we're tasked with something, we should just not do it. Are you ready? Proceed into the next and final room. Doctor, cast gaslighting again. Gum-Gum seems extra confused by everything that was going on. I still think I'm a doppelganger. Might be. Yeah, Gum-Gum's not sure what's going on. He's not acting like himself. He's acting very, very confused. It seems like it did take him a little while to shake it. So we have basically failed.

I think, yeah. You all have convinced me that I am, in fact, not myself. I'm fine with that. Whenever you're ready, you can proceed into the next and final room. We proceed. I take this towel. Okay, nice. It's always good to have a towel. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy taught me anything. Far wall begins to lower into the ground. Before you is a large square stone room with high ceilings brightly lit by torches along the walls. In each corner of the room are stone platforms 10 feet high with wooden ladders leading up to the top.

Hanging high above in the center of the room is a wooden cage with iron bands holding Atten and Dant. On the far end of the room is a single door that you recognize as Dr. Ahem's lab. Sorry, what was in the cage? The automatons, the ones who threaten to eat your flesh and then later give you coffee. They do make a good coffee. Interns, this final exercise is meant to test your problem solving, focus, and collaboration. The task is to rescue Atten and Dant from the cage above and get them safely through the doorway into my lab.

Remember, no matter what happens, drinks are on me after this. You can do this. The bar door opens and sauntering out from the lab is a young pale-skinned elf with spiky blue hair, fancy spectacles, and a flying snake. It is none other than Brink Tussler. Oh, was that the guy from the beginning? That's the guy from the very beginning. Oh, is it Kyborg got in a fight with him? Oh, yeah. And then lost spectacularly. Is that the person who I made an illusion that he gave him coins?

Yes. That is correct. Okay. To be fair, it wasn't like a hand-to-hand fight. It was like some like extra bullshit, right? Sure, sure, sure. Well, hello there again, you rancid rust bucket. Oh, I'm talking to you, the mook with a fancy butt scratcher for an arm. You owe me some money, so me and my friends here are going to collect. Some other three bulky teenagers walk out from the door behind him. There's a halfling, a half orc, and a half elf.

Brink waves his hand and the glowing blue light outlines every corner of the room. The rules have changed, you two-bit tin can. This time, you and your infinite sex ain't leaving the square. Ring the bell, ring-a-ding-ding, round two. Everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Oh no, oh no. Let's all beat up some teenagers. Seven. Eleven. That's a nat 20, my first one of the campaign. Woo!

What is that after your modifier? 22. 12 for Bart. Have they seen Bart, though?

Because he's on my back? Yes. Oh. We tried. I was hoping this would be a recreation of the scene at the end of Batman Forever with us having to choose between the two automatons falling down. Mud, you're up first. Across from you, across the room, is, like I said, Brink Tussler and three of his friends. Hugging from the ceiling above you is the cage with Atten and Dent. Can I get a readout of what these three other guys look like? Can I get a, oh, yeah. Yeah.

Let me get a read of the other three guys. What are we talking about here? Are they all three like the same kind of build, look?

Yeah, they seem all pretty beefy, like they're brawlers. Oh, okay. Well then, Mud casts Earth Tremor on the area around them. Ten feet. Let's say you get two of them. Okay. I assume you get Brink and one of the other guys as well. We'll say Brink and the Half-Orc are by each other? Yeah. They got to do a deck save, which is 14, or else they take a D6 damage and are prone. Brink makes his roll. However, the Half-Orc does not. Okay. Rolling for damage. That's a three.

And that guy's prone, and all of the terrain, regardless, is difficult terrain. The ground cracks and rumbles at the end of the room, and the half-orc stumbles to the ground. I did it. Proud of you. I did it. Good job, Mud. Brink looks at you, Mud, and says, You bird-bright tree-loving fail-bulge. Oh, I think it's time for a little hide-and-seek, I fellas...

Let's hide. Oh, you're already gone. Him and all of his friends seem to poof out of existence. You can't see them. We, uh... They disappeared? Yeah, gum gum. Okay. I'm gonna rage. I'm gonna throw my javelin where that one was prone. Okay, go ahead and make an attack roll at disadvantage. 15...

18. Oh, pretty good. You throw your javelin where that half-orc was laying prone, and it hits the ground and gets stuck in the rubble that's laying there. Can I just kind of run forward with my, like, waving my arms around? Yeah, Gum-Gum throws a javelin, then charges up to close the distance between himself and where the enemies were. I'll tell you what, Gum-Gum, you're actually...

still confused from wondering if you were a doppelganger or not. So go ahead and roll me a D10. Oh, man. Zero. What? Oh, no, that's a 10. That's a 10. Okay. You're able to briefly snap out of it, which is why you were able to take your action successfully and throw the javelin and run up. I don't know if you want to jump off, Bart.

Yeah, as he's running, Bart does a backflip off of Gum-Gum. Hell yeah. Okay. And it's your turn, Bart. All right. Could I try to charm this dude, Brink Tussler? So you don't see him at the moment. Okay. Could I walk further closer to him? You can walk closer to where you last saw him. Yeah. Do I see him? No. Damn it. I yell out to the group. Hey, anyone got eyes on this Brink dude? That's a negative, Ghost Rider. The silence is deafening.

I answered you, little boy. I don't see anything. I'll do a perception check just before I end, if that's okay. Yep, go for it. Got a nine. I'm guessing I don't see anything. Okay, yeah, you don't perceive anything. You can't determine where anybody was. You have no further information. Okay. And don't forget, remember, your goal is to free Ant and Dent, who are suspended in the cage above you guys.

Gum Gum, as you were running forward, a halfling pops back into existence and takes a swing at you with a short sword. All right, it hits.

Okay, and also I'm raging, so if he hits me, what does he do with me? It's piercing? It would be slashing. You take half damage. So he attacks for eight points of damage, but since you are raging, you take half. Okay, that is the halfling. Kaiborg, what do you want to do? You don't see anyone except for this halfling who is poofed back into existence next to Gum-Gum. And of course, Atan and Dant in the cages above.

Say I were to climb one of the ladders that are in the corners up onto one of those higher columns. Would that be an action or is that just my movement? That would be your movement. Okay. I'm going to go do that. So which corner? Basically lower left, upper left, upper right, lower right. I'm going to kind of go left. I feel like lower left because I'm assuming whichever one is furthest away from where I last saw enemies. Okay.

I mean, the lower ones would definitely be it, so lower left would work. Okay, so I go to lower left. This is an idea for getting those guys out of the cage. I get up there, and then I pull out my longbow, and I take aim at the guy that just reappeared. Oh, okay, nice. Go ahead and make your attack roll. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That's an 11. That fails to connect. You fire your longbow and hits the ground and skitters across the ground next to where the halfling is. Okay. Oh, wait a second. What?

What was that one? Action surge. And I'm going to shoot again. Do it. Is that your official noise when you shoot? 13. Ooh, that's going to be close. Come on. You can do it, Guy Borg. You're number one. You're the best. You can do this, Guy Borg. Come on. You sound like that song where they're whispering.

There it is. It connects. Roll some damage. Yeah, I really appreciate when other people can land the reference I was trying to make. 11. Good. You hit that halfling for 11 points of damage. He seems to wince in pain. Good job, Kaibor. Nice use of your new ability there. Oh, wow.

Meanwhile... In the Hall of Justice... Our fighters remain unsuccessful. A half-elf pops back into existence next to Bart and takes a swing at Bart with a short sword. Half-on-half action.

Ooh, it was almost a 19. It rolled over at the last second and settled on a nine. What is your armor? Okay, it misses. Their swing with the short sword glances off of your armor, and you are unfazed. Thank goodness. Mud. How far is mud from the automatons?

It is about 15 feet in front of you and then straight up from the ground because they're hanging from the ceiling. Mud would like to move up 15 feet to right underneath one of them, whichever one, let's say, that's like... Are they together? Are they separate? They're both in the same cage, yeah. They're both in the same cage. They're in one cage. Perfect.

And Mud wants to check to see if there's anything about the cage or whatever system they're in that he could figure out to open it. Roll a perception check. That is a 17. From what you can tell, it doesn't seem like the cage is locked. It's just a simple latch that has it closed, and it's being suspended by a rope from the ceiling above it. Mud casts Ice Knife at the rope.

Ice Knife's a cool spell. It's a very cool spell. I'm very happy with that choice. Okay, go ahead and make an attack roll. See if you hit the rope. That's a 21. Ooh, nice. Yeah, you definitely hit it. Roll damage for the rope. That is seven. Your aim is true with your Ice Knife. It hits the rope and slices the rope cleanly, and the cage falls down on top of you. You're under it. Roll a Dexterity save to dodge out of the way. That's a 15.

Like an action hero, you dodge out of the way at the last second and the cage clatters to the ground where you were standing just a millisecond before. And we'll say the cage is damaged and the doors pop open and Atten and Dat are right there next to you. Okay, I did it. Yay. The instructions were to get him through the door at the far end of the room into the lab. So you're most of the way there. Okay. So that's my action. I can't do anything else, right? Correct. You already moved and have acted now. Okay. But you're good. You're most of the way there.

You hear the voice of Brink from a direction you can't see. All you hear is, Oh, you fatherless, gnat-ridden wannabe wizard. Brink pops back into existence close to Gum-Gum, and he's going to Eldritch Blast and try to hit Gum-Gum. All right. So a beam of crackling energy streaks towards Gum-Gum. Yes, it hits. Ouch.

Four points of damage. Oh. Rest in peace, Gum-Gum. He's not dead. Rest in peace, Gum-Gum. He's not dead. I hope not. I said what I said. You also hear, Hey, it's getting a little cool in here. Why doesn't everyone freeze? And all of his friends take a quick sneak attack at everyone that they're standing next to. Who are they standing next to?

The halfling was standing next to Gum-Gum because he made an attack earlier. So the halfling makes another swing with their short sword at Gum-Gum. Hits. You take half from this because you are raging. Doing, we'll say, two points of damage after your reduction. The halfling was next to Bart. You're going to take another swing here. Okay. That one does hit. Doing three points of damage on Bart. Okay. Ouch.

And from out of the ether, the half-orc reappears next to Mud and takes a swing at Mud with a longsword. That's illegal. Oh, but that's a miss.

Yeah. Told you it's illegal. It's not allowed. If you say no, they're not allowed to hit you. Yeah. You have to attack me with consent. No. So who did I hit there? Did I hit Gum Gum? Yeah, I got hit. Go ahead and make me a constitution saving throw. Okay. Eight. You feel yourself seizing up and freezing. It seems like your joints are unable to move and you've become frozen until the next round. Oh, man. It's

It's the half orcs turn who was standing next to mud. So he's going to take his normal attack now against mud. A one. That's a miss. It's still illegal. We haven't changed any laws. I like how Gus sounds disappointed every time he doesn't hit us. It's my side. It's my character. He wants to play too, guys. Yeah. I want to hurt. Gum Gum, you're still confused and now you're frozen. Go ahead and roll me a defense. Confused and frozen is the new naked and afraid. Gum Gum's not having a good session.

Even though you're frozen, regardless of the fact that you're physically frozen, you're also mentally frozen. So it doesn't really matter that...

that you're physically unable to move. Mentally, you're not in a good place. You don't want to move anyway. So it's fine. You're okay with this. Rest in peace, Gum Gum. Bart, you're up. Oh, gosh. So you've got a halfling right next to you. Yeah. You've got the half-elf, half-orc, Brink, Ant and Dant are also out from the cage right now. And they're all trying to hurt us? Ant and Dant are not, but the Brink's friends are. Our job is to get Ant and Dant to the door.

Right. Could I cast sleep on, what was it? A halfling next to me? Yes. Bard is our jigglypuff. I know. So first of all, roll 5d8. So we see how many creatures you affect. Okay. Bam. Bam.

19. So that means anything with a 19, right? Up to 19 hit points worth of enemies. Okay. So I assume it's 20 feet centered on the halfling. 19 hit points is going to be enough to take care of the halfling. It's not going to be enough to take care of another enemy as well on top of that. So we'll say it's just this one. Okay. That's good, though. Sleep. And then I play him a lullaby that goes... I'm rocking my head. I'm like...

Yeah, so he just drops his sword and falls down. He's dreaming. Come over here to me. I got the automatons. And then could I do a movement or am I done? Yeah, you can move. Okay, I'll move over to Mud. Mud! Okay. I run over. We need a team name, the two of us. We're doing really good together this while now. We'll be Team Mart.

Or team... Bud. Team Bud. Team Bud. Bud. Team Bud. The buddy system. The buddy system. Best buds. Best buds. It's the halfling's turn, but they are asleep. Kyborg. All right. Well, do I see anybody? Actually, no. I want to take aim at the guy that was insulting me earlier. Where's he at?

Oh, Brink Tussler. He's still kind of on the north end. He moved from the door to get closer to Gum Gum. He's between Gum Gum and the door. Okay. Seeing the path that they're trying to take for the automatons, I kind of want to cover their escape. So is there anybody that's in their way? Brink. Oh, yeah. I'm going to aim for Brink right in the skull. Here we go. Longbow, baby. 19. 19. That's a hit. That's a good shot. Boom. Boom.

11. Oh, 11 points of damage. Your bow fires true and hits Brink. Mildly, he tries to play it off, though. If you were any more inbred, you'd be a sandwich. Oh, that was okay. That wasn't a bad one.

It's the half elf's turn. Yeah, the half elf is going to go to make an attack on a frozen gum gum. Never want frozen gum. That is a hit doing eight points of damage, but you take half. So that's minus four.

Mud, it is your turn. - How big are these automatons? - They're smaller than an average human, but they're still a good decent size. - Can I grab both? - Yeah, make a strength check. - I'm a strong boy. That's 10, not a good one. - I will say you're able to grab one. - Okay. - It's not that you're too weak, it's just like an awkward shape. You know how that is. - I'm down with that. That gives me a free hand. Does picking them up count as my action? - I'll say no. - Okay.

What do my eyes see between me and the door? Brink and some of that difficult terrain you created earlier. All right, I cast Entangle on Brink, which does the grasping weeds thing on a 20-foot square. Vines and weeds sprout from the ground and start trying to wrap themselves around Brink. He must make a strength saving throw. And he rolls a one anyway, so he is entangled. Cool. Then I would like to dash for the door with my new little robotic friend.

All right. Mud makes a break for the door, carrying one. Let's say you're carrying Atten, leaving Dant behind. Okay.

Okay. It's not very far. You're able to get to the door. What's under your feet? It might be deceit. No, it's lava. Take a seat. Lava begins to gush into the center of the room from each corner platform, creating a two-foot deep pool in the center of the room where you were standing just moments ago, Mud. Uh-oh. Any creature nearby needs to make a dexterity saving throw. Bart, I believe you said you were near there. Gum-Gum is kind of frozen in that area, so Bart, Gum-Gum, need to make saves as well as some of the enemies that you all are facing. Okay, I get advantage on that, though.

You're frozen. I have a 17. Rest in peace, Gungun. All right. Good roll there, Bart. Does the lava not melt the freezing? It might. Seven. There's an episode of Rick and Morty where a wizard tries to shield himself from dragon fire by encasing himself in ice. Then as he's dying, he says, why did I do that? This is just prolonging the agony.

So this makes me think about that situation as well. So it could help, but it could also hurt. Gum Gum, that is not a very good saving throw. So you are going to take a little bit of fire damage. We'll say it's not terrible. We'll say that the coolness of being frozen does actually help you a little bit here, okay? Okay. It should have been 17, but we'll say because you're frozen that you only take eight. Oh. Whoa, that's a lot of damage.

Alright, well, Gum Gum's feeling a little chewed up. Just so y'all know. Rest in peace, Gum Gum. Rest in peace. Brink should act this turn, but he is entangled at the moment. So it is the half-orc's turn. The half-orc is going to take an attack at Gum Gum. They were standing by Gum Gum. It only makes sense that they're going to take a swing at Gum Gum.

- Hey mate, I appreciate you being the damage sponge for this round while we get the robots. - Way to go Gum Gum. - That was a two, you lucked out. - Oh, did I? - That's what a better variant is supposed to be anyways. A better variant is supposed to just be our damage sponge. - Gum Gum, it's your turn. The frozenness has melted off of your body, maybe because of the lava, but you're still feeling a little confused, so roll me a D10. - Yeah, of course I am. - Tough luck, Gum Gum. - Damn zoo bats with supersonic. - You're still not sure. Maybe you're the doppelganger. - Six?

It really gives you pause to think, so you're gonna think about that this round. What? Bart, it's your turn. God, I don't get to do... This is very entertaining. I just... So what do I do? I just look around like a dum-dum? You're drooling a little bit as you wonder whether or not you're a doppelganger. Gum-gum.

Gum gum dum dum. Gum gum dum dum. Bark. All right. Buddy system in full effect. What do we need to do, boss? I look to Mud and see how I can help. I mean, you've noticed I've got one of the robots in my arms, so maybe if you brought his friend, he'd be happy. I don't know if I could lift him, but... Just grab his hand or something. I don't know. Okay. Does he have a hand? He's eye-shaped. Yeah. He can make coffee, so he's got two hands. Oh, perfect. Perfect.

But Bart's a bit of a germaphobe, so he actually uses Mage Hand to grab the hand of the other guy.

Okay, so Bart casts Mage Hand to grab the hand of Dant, and I see me begin leading him away from the lava over towards the door. Yes. Okay, you're able to make it all the way there past Brink Tussler, who is held in place by the vines from mud. You manage to get Dant through the door as well. Brink looks at you. All right, that's only round two, you little jamokes, but you can definitely count on there being a round three. And Misty steps away.

And then poof, the entire room disappears. You guys have succeeded. You've accomplished your mission in rescuing Atten and Dant. Yay! There it is. I do a backflip off of the pillar that I'm on. And while I do it, I say, take that pink pussler. Please do an athletic check for that backflip. Yeah, do an athletics check for the backflip. Make sure you stay clear of that. Fourteen. Fourteen.

Oh, nice. You do it. He lands in the lava. Kyborg is dead. Alright, good job. Good job, everybody. Everybody contributed in their best way possible. Yeah. Yep. I think I did. Even Gum-Gum. If I am who I am. Can I look at Bart and be like, am I Gum-Gum? Okay, well, you're no longer confused. You figured it out. You are actually indeed Gum-Gum.

Oh no, I'm gum gum. Oh yay, it's gum gum. Yay! Existential crisis. Hello, gum gum. But now I'm not satisfied with myself. I'm more self-aware.

Doctor comes into the room and says, congratulations, interns. You did it. I am so proud of you all. Come, it's high time we had drinks at the tavern. So Doctor whisks you all away to the Throne Gauntlet Tavern, where Mud and Bart were at earlier. You all remember this. Hops is still...

Hopping around. Hey, Hop! Bart gets a little nervous. You all stroll into the tavern and Hop's is gleefully waiting at the bar with five tankards filled with frothing ale.

Dr. Ahem rolls over to the bar and raises a tankard. You all deserve a toast, interns. Please raise a mug with me. Tonight, the four of you showed more honor, tenacity, and sheer gumption than I have seen in some time. I have no doubt that you are mission ready and will do the Infinites and Bolderay proud. To the interns! To the

Now, I know you've been waiting whole day for me to tell you what happened to the Infinites, and it's time you knew, but I doubt my storytelling will do it justice. I have something more visceral in mind. Would one of you be willing to volunteer for an experiment? I promise there are no side effects that I know of.

Thanks for listening, everyone. Hope you enjoyed this. As always, follow us on social media at StinkyDragonPod to get more information on what's going on. Tweet at us using hashtag StinkyDragonPod and maybe we'll use your name in an upcoming episode for an NPC. Let us know what you like about the show, maybe what some of your favorite encounters have been so far, or just chat with us in general. We'll be keeping an eye on all those social media. And the official Stinky Dragon challenge is that you all have to tell your mom about this podcast. Ha!

Yes. Just your mom. Let us know what your favorite magic items are. Ask your mom what her favorite magic items are. Maybe we'll incorporate them in a future episode. All right. Well, that's it. Thanks for listening, everybody. Bye. Bye.