The Exceptionally Erudite Courtney Act (Part 2) with Katya
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And now part two of my insightful, inspiring and illuminating conversation with the Courtney Act. Enjoy. This next project that I'm working on, which I feel like when you're like, oh, this is like a secret idea that I'm working on and pitching to TV people at the moment, but I may as well talk about it. Is this this idea of like Courtney Act on a television interview show, but I'm talking to like focus on sport and

speaking to like national sports stars, probably not in the US, but he's a gay. But like in the UK, like footballers. Cristiano Ronaldo.

- Cristiano Ronaldo. - I thought you said something else. - Right? - Yeah, yeah, Cristiano. - The soccer player. - I thought you said Cristiana Ronaldo and I thought it was like a, yeah, Cristiano Ronaldo. Like people whose names we don't know because they're big sports stars and we don't know who they are. David Beckham, no, I don't know. Maybe not, I mean, ultimately, yes. Like the OG metrosexual. - Totally. - Yeah. - In that voice.

Like that's a real, that's a gag to the patriarchy. Yeah. That's why they don't let him speak. No shit. Cause he sounds like a fucking 12 year old girl. Kate Moss. They don't let her speak. Not for that reason. No, because she would say things like nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Oh, but yeah. But I mean, David Beckham's voice, the quality of his voice is shockingly. Yeah. Soprano. Yeah. Not soprano, but mezzo soprano. Contralto. His songbird mezzo soprano. Um,

But then, even in that right, we're now participating in the idea of there being something wrong or less than about that because we're like, lol, his like, bird-like voice. Oh, right. Because the ultimate humiliation is femininity. To be feminine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But I think like some sort of like a show where I do like a cultural exchange with like sports stars. So I interview them on entry and on exit. And then in the middle, I go through some sort of like big brother-esque like short control period where I'm like,

cohabitating with them for like maybe three days and they're teaching me is this like a forced feminization type of thing it's a forced masculinization thing oh they teach you how to play football and you teach them how to wear heels uh no i'm not going to teach them how to wear heels because i've i've did that we did a pilot in australia on channel 10 called courtney's closet yeah where i put like that i yeah that i know a straight man in drag and there was something that's just something about putting straight people in drag that felt

Like it's the closest that I have ever understood cultural appropriation where the oppressor was putting on my identity as a costume to sort of have. And even though it was respectful and even though I was doing it, it felt a bit like. It's strange. Yeah. It's strange. So I thought like, like I've grown up with a complicated relationship to masculinity. I finally resolved the feminine and now I'm ready to embrace the masculine. And, and, and like, I,

I want to know how to be a man. Oh my God. Because I've pushed against it my whole life. Yeah. And now I've actually been finding like, like going to the gym and being like, oh. You should go. I have fast track, the three episode arc. You get on a cycle, the most aggressive T of testosterone. Yeah. Huge cystic back knee.

My voice finally drops. I'm like, good day. My name's Courtney Act. You're convicted, arraigned of like, you know, 17 murders because you're just killing people. But now we're playing into the stereotypes again. We're trying to disassemble the stereotypes. You're just, no, yeah. I mean, it would be, it is fascinating because, you know, this kind of thing plays out a lot of times in the gay subculture with, because in its,

that super like literally roided out everybody's on a cycle here in LA um roided out over like hyper sexualized buff big hairy you know like virile yeah um but then also like

a gutless bottom and like, you know, like in like a supercharged feminine, like bomb receptive energy. They're doing both. They're doing like the most. Have you noticed that? I've just been thinking about this, that I do think that drag race is responsible for the shifting of gay men's

self-loathing when it comes to femininity where gay men are more inclined to perform like enact femininity these days and still be found sexy like there's this era of like

like straight muscle guys wearing like feminine. Yes. Thongs. Thongs and lacy things. It's probably just that they found a new way to show off more muscle. That part. But there is a, there is a embracing of the feminine, even if just a whisper. Yes. And it's definitely a far cry from like the, the honcho, you know, handlebar mustache, lumberjack. Yeah. Like, you know, I could kill you with my Paul Bunyan type of thing. Yeah. But, um,

But I still find that gay guys are less likely to root for other gay guys. They can root for drag queens. They will root for the girls or the dolls or whatever, but they won't

they're not like, I don't know. They're a tough crowd still. Yeah. You have like, if we think about pop culture, we have like Sam Smith and Troye Sivan. Adam Lambert. Adam Lambert. But even Adam, I don't think that his audience is predominantly like middle-aged straight women, I believe. Yeah. Like, yeah, I don't, I don't. Like he's not supported by the queers.

Jake Shears has been supported by the queers. Yes. But that was part of an ensemble at the beginning. And that was very like, that was kind of B-52's energy. Yeah. God, I love the sisters. But who's the, I do too. Like George, who would be the George Michael of today? I guess it is. It's, is it Sam Smith?

Are they kind of like the, to me, like Lil Nas X, Sam Smith, Kim Petras, Troye Sivan. They're the four, the holy, the four horse people of the queer apocalypse. The four whores people of the queer apocalypse. They certainly are harbingers to many. So wait, I think Lil Nas X is so devastatingly attractive.

And the things that he's done and the way we kind of went from like socially acceptable, let's play nice for the straight people to lap dancing the devil. I'm going to tell you how many dicks I sucked this morning. Yeah. Like in this song. Yeah. It's pretty, it's, it's wonderfully unapologetically, um,

I mean, what's her, Kim Petra's slut pop? Treat me like a slut, little dirty bitch I love to fuck. Throat Goat. You should have seen Throat Goat. She performed Throat Goat at the Sydney World Pride at the Rainbow Republic Party. And we always have sign language interpreters. There was like a big screen with a sign language interpreter and like Throat Goat or whatever it is. Stop it. It's totally upstaged Kim. Even for me, I have to clutch my prose a little bit because it's like, I'm like, that is so vulgar. I know. It's so vulgar.

I also have a moment of like, we don't talk like that in front of the straight people. I know. It's like dinner. It's like, oh my God, you would never go to your friend's parents' house and talk about, you know, you never believe how much cum was coming out of my ass the other night. Like, ugh. I saw Strange Loop, the musical on the West End. And it was like, and there will be butt fucking. And it was about like hot loads. And I was like, oh my God, this was on Broadway. This is on the West End. We don't talk like this in front of the straight people. Whatever happened to Innuendo?

double entendres. But I think that could be like my generational sensitivity about like, and I love that these people are unapologetic because the people for me who were the biggest inspirations in the 90s were the Spice Girls and Madonna and they were unapologetic. Madonna, I'd like to direct your attention to something that needs directing too. The song about...

eating pussy essentially but it's like go down where it's warm inside and I think that's like where all life begins and if you don't if you're not paying attention you're like what is she talking about and it's so like it's such a bad song but it's like you know it's just like nowadays it'd be like

I want to eat your pussy and slurp on your lips and like have you come in my mouth and I'm going to drown in your pussy juice and like all that stuff. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah. But I love that these, this new generation are unapologetically queer. They're doing it. Yeah, they really are. I mean, I guess, I guess drag is unapologetic as well. I don't think, I think it's getting quite apologetic to be honest. You know, we have to,

ever since the grooming allegations started and we have to be role models for children and we have to be like cutting ribbons at supermarket openings and, you know. Well, it's weird because I've always done that. Yeah. Well, you've done everything. You've literally done everything. Well, it is the, the, the, I, I,

I've been having this like just thought in the last week where I'm like, particularly in Australia and the UK, I'm like the one of the good ones. Like I will be on a news panel program or reading a book to children on television. You could literally be a newscaster. Yeah. Like Weather Girl or like Diane Sawyer. Which to me is like...

not unapologetic. It's almost like, but I think it's more who I am. Like, I think just at my core, I'm like milky white beige. Like, no, you're just, you're just, you're, you're fucking Christiane Amanpour. You're like tonight at 11. Like that's, that's you, man. It's like, Oh,

But yeah, it's like this interesting thing where I'm like, I'm allowed into these spaces to do these things. Well, because you're so pretty. But there's something like socially acceptable about who I am, which is it then makes me angry that like other people that I. Yeah. Well, listen, you know what I'm saying? You're you're white. You're gorgeous. You're articulate. You're educated. You're. Thank you. Thank you. You have age defying skin. You are Beyonce. Yeah. Thank you.

But, but that's all gonna, that will all come to a slippery slope. Yeah. Any day now. Yeah. I'm just waiting like TikTok. I'm like, I'm looking at Instagram waiting for it. Yeah.

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So you've done every, pretty much every entertainment avenue you've gone down. You won Dancing with the Stars. - I didn't win, I lost that twice. - You lost? - Yeah, I lost my original season and I lost all stars. - You did so fucking well on it though.

It was so fun. Was it hard? It was so hard. That's what me and Trixie were talking about that. It seems so difficult. You do five weeks of training with your dance partner. Goodbye. Before you've begun. No, but I think you would love this. You love physical. I love physical things up to a point. Yeah. You know, the rehearsals in heels. You don't have to wear the heels all the time. But what was really interesting is that it was five weeks. I had nothing else in my schedule for the second week.

17 weeks of the show, basically. There was one Mardi Gras performance. 17 weeks? Yeah, because it was like 12 weeks of the show on TV and five weeks of rehearsals. Oh, shit. And...

i have never been able to like dedicate myself to anything that that that long and intensely and it was like from i don't know 10 till four we would rehearse like for six hours a day my dance partner josh was amazing we just like real and one of the most important things i learned from that is that he was the leader and i had to follow yes and building trust over that five weeks and then getting to the dance floor and both of us like on the

on the first performance we did, he said that our performance monsters saw each other for the first time where we'd been rehearsing, but like now I was in drag and he was there and we were both like, and like the look in each other's eyes and the connection. He was like, oh, I can trust you. And I was like, oh, I can trust you. And then just to let go and be like led by this man through all of these dancers was such a powerful lesson that like,

I don't have to hold on with both hands constantly so tight, never slipping, not even for a minute. Let go, Courtney. Having that unique focus, the one thing to focus on, that does sound very attractive. But you didn't get injured?

um maybe i like a little cracked a rib on the contemporary dance number but it it healed well enough for me to continue and my body was sore i was in pain but it was it was wonderful it was really inspiring and then the second season of all stars was a much shorter time period we shot that not in real time but and how long did when you do the numbers do you do them you run through them more than once or just that's it you you run through them once for the live show and that's it but you get like

The camera blocking the day before, a dress rehearsal, like a run and then the... Oh, that's good. On the night. And also, oh God, it's like, not like Drag Race where they just literally grease you up and throw you out onto the... It's like, what the fuck? Lube up that sippy side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Kick her down the hill. See if she falls, you know, whatever. Oh my God. So would you...

What would you do that you, like, what do you want to do that you haven't already done? Well, I kind of, I really would love to do, I don't want to be on any more reality shows. I would like to be on a show that like, like of my own, like this sort of like how to be a man kind of idea where I get. The green table. Yeah. Yeah. The blue table. Yeah. Binary. The purple table. Yeah. Where I get to like, yeah.

I, my kink is like in my own small. Why do you have to bring it back to kinky group, like sexual grooming stuff? This is classic grooming. They throw in, we have a topic, you know, we're talking about politics and then we talk about kink. Using sexualized language. Exactly. To desensitize you to the idea of political reform. Exactly. She's unlatching the door and she's unraveling it. Well, thankfully you're not a minor.

You're a full grown adult and we're allowed to have adult conversations as adults with each other. I suppose you're right. And that's the thing. There's things that we wouldn't do in front of children that we would do when we're having a private conversation or a public conversation. That's the thing about, that's the absurdity and I won't, this is the last thing I'm going to say about fucking grooming. I hate kids. Yeah. And most drag queens are either neutral or quite ornery towards them. There's really no place for them. It's like you encountered them maybe once that

at your sister's house or a family reunion or on the sidewalk or whatever, but that's about it. Horrible. Horrible things. I don't want to read to children. I don't want to read to children. I don't want to read to children. I don't even want to read, period. I can't even finish this book that I have on my bedside. Like, I don't...

It's crazy. None of us wanted to read to children. It was like Rainbow Family saying what would be cute is for our children to have somewhere to go that would spark. Mrs. Kasha Davis reading like Goodnight Moon. Yeah. It's like, what is this? It's about like sparking the joy of reading and creativity in children. Oh, please. No, but I mean, that's like, I think how it came about, right? Is that we were like, well, we're clowns. We're like kids love sparkly stuff. Like let's read them a book. And then it actually went well. And parents were like, oh, we really love

because our kids really enjoy coming because you're colorful and you're excited. And then somehow it got twisted into something that it wasn't. Well, I mean, I remember when I was in fourth, third or fourth grade, very young, we had to take the little kids out to the bus. And one of the little kids asked me, he was like, are you a boy or a girl? And it shook me to my core. And I think that's why I do drag.

I was like, oh, is this person really doesn't know? Cause I was very androgynous. And I was like, it was a very like disconcerting question. Did it feel like an attack even though clearly it was innocent? Yeah. Oh yeah. It felt like a, like a, it felt confrontational.

And almost like, oh, the jig is up. Like, what are you? Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, huh. Which one of these two boxes are you supposed to be in? Because I can't tell which one. Yeah. And I think if had I been born 20 years later, I think I might be looking at a different shell. Do you know what I mean? But in any case, yeah. I mean, God.

I don't know. Um, yeah, I, I think, I mean, I think that question is so interesting. I remember that like, are you a boy or a girl? Why, why so humiliating then? Yeah. Now, of course the ultimate compliment, the ultimate compliment. If I get like, you know, if I don't get clocked, which is not a soul can clock, many souls can clock. Um, but that would be the ultimate compliment. Um,

but I think it's because we've resolved our struggle with the gender spectrum or the gender binary or like the, the, the misogyny of this patriarchal society. I mean, I don't think I, I, every time I think I've got a, got it like wrapped up and resolved, I, something pops up and I'm like, Oh wow, I am really fucking backwards. I was reading a little thing about, um,

what's her name? Judith Butler. And I'm talking about Simone de Beauvoir and how she thinks that, you know, sex has certain biological, you know, imperatives. But then gender is created or chosen or you choose to be, or one becomes a woman. And I was like, yeah, I mean, of course. And also like, I just don't, I don't get why, like why the, um,

Fixation? The violence. Oh, yeah. That's the thing that's really perplexing. Yeah. Like, I can understand being confused. I can understand being like, like, huh. But then why the, I don't understand this, therefore I went to like...

kill it. Well, look at your responses in grade four. Before you were aware of anything, it was already so imbued in you that you had to conform to one or the other that when someone innocently asked, are you a boy or a girl, you felt attacked. And when you're under attack, like when communication ends, all you have left to do is fight.

And so when you've removed being able to have rational conversations from the table, and the thing is, is that I heard Uval Noah Harahi talk about this in a talk where he said, like, historically, these people have the guns, men and power and a symbol of that. And they still do. So if we're taking...

discourse off the table and we polarized it where we're no longer able to talk then all that's left is violence. It is so embarrassing that we still have war.

It's like globally, like, you know. It's a moneymaker, but that's why we have war. I know it is. But it's like the fact that we have all these resources and there's clearly enough to like to allocate to everybody. Right. Like I feel like in a few hundreds thousand millennia, you know, the next version of whatever we're like, those earthlings. Yeah. They're real fucking dumb. Isn't it wild to think that like there's enough for everybody? Oh, yeah.

More than enough. And that we could all live happily, but we're like, but we're not. No, no. But that's where, that's where I want to take it back to your Vipassana. Oh yeah. So my brother is big into meditation and he was talking about, one of his teachers was saying that everybody has an idea about how to change the world, but nobody wants to change inside. And if everybody did that, we'll be good. Yeah. Cause we're not, the world is not going to change. No. We're not going to, it's not going to be,

a utopia overnight. No, but we can change it in small incremental ways. And for me, Vipassana, it's a, it's a form of meditation. I heard about it on like a Oprah soul series podcast, which was like too esoteric to be included in her TV show. And she was interviewing a woman called Jenny Phillips who made a documentary called the Dharma brothers. And it was about like a, a, a,

prison in Alabama with like death row prisoners where they introduced a Vipassana meditation course. Insight meditation? Seeing reality as it is not as you want it to be.

But Vipassana means to see things as they are, I think. Yes, you are right. Yeah. So yeah, form of Buddhism. Anyways. So it's like this meditation practice. It's like literally just a meditation practice that apparently the Buddha said, like this, like apparently like the Buddha was like, I'm not a god. Mm-hmm.

He was essentially an atheist from what I can gather. Yeah. And he was like, I just sat here under this Bodhi tree, which is a psychedelic tree, mind you. Oh, no. And meditated...

until he was enlightened. And this process of meditation was about observing your sensations, observing the present moment and accepting your reality as it is, not as you want it to be. So to do that, you essentially just sit cross-legged for an hour at a time for 11 hours a day for 10 days without talking, without communicating as best as you can in noble silence.

And you focus on your breath for the first three days. You're just feeling your breath come in and out of your nose and you're trying to observe it because your breath is happening right now in this present moment. It's always present unless you're dead, in which case you don't need to meditate because you've transcended to the next realm. You're free. When did you go insane? At what point? Day eight. Are you serious? Not day three, not day two. No, day eight.

Day eight was when... So it was 2009, I think, my first one. Okay. And I had broken up with my boyfriend. I was heartbroken. I had a broken leg. I went to Canada, broke my leg at Gay Ski Week, came home and was like, well, I can't do anything. I may as well just...

go to the blue mountains and meditate. That, you know, that is a very, that's a very Courtney act solution. Yeah. It's like other people would maybe haul up in a motel and drink themselves to death. So, okay. So day eight, day eight, I went back to my room. Do you get like a little like dorm? Well, it was, I had a little private room cause I had a broken leg, which was lovely. Cause usually the first time is have to be in a dorm. Um,

And I remember like, you don't have any books, you don't have any reading, you don't have any writing, you don't have anything to distract yourself. - No phone. - No phone. You're just, you're meant to constantly try and be as present as you can, even when you're not meditating. So if you're walking, you're just thinking about walking. You're trying not to think. - Right.

At that time, I really thought like, I think therefore I am. And what I came to understand through meditation was that there's something beyond my thinking mind and it's the thing that is able to observe that. And it's not something that can be put into words because

I don't know. Does your, when you think, are you thinking in language in like talking, like you talking to yourself in your head? Sometimes. Cause I, I think I do. I think I'm like having a constant narrative. Yeah. I used to talk out loud when I was younger, you know, alone. I still do. Yeah. And so I, this is literally my theory. I don't know whether this is, someone can poke a hole in it, but language, uh, language,

verbal communication is inherent in humans because all humans use language to talk but language itself is a construct because every language is different right and i thought oh i'm talking to myself in like english in my head but actually that feels like it would probably be quite limited and i kind of had this aha moment where when i'm able to just observe my

sensations on my body and like the present moment that maybe I transcend that thinking mind and there's something behind it and the past and I am I going to down the well I'm loving it I'm loving it and the past now there's this idea of sensations on your body people think that what happens is you you you see someone that you don't like and then

and then you have a reaction based on past conditioning and then based on that reaction a chemical reaction happens in your body like you get hot, you get angry, you get tense, your face swells up and based on your understanding of that sensation is how you then react. You're like I hate that person. And so Vipassana is about observing the sensation, observing the chemical reaction that occurs

And rather than reacting to it instantly based on past conditioning, you just observe it. You observe the sensations like, oh, wow, I'm hot. My heart's beating. Okay. Rather than reacting and throwing something at their head, I can just...

breathe and observe it and realize that that was a transitionary state and that everything passes and that if you can remain the word that they use in Vipassana is economist which is such a it's not a word that I had heard and so like and the guy has an accent as well and he's like equanimity equanimity equanimity yeah and I'm like

I think I know what that means. I'm like day eight. I'm like, oh, I'm almost sure I know what he's talking about. How would you define it? It's remaining balanced. Remaining like, and you're in pain when you're sitting there like the 10th hour of the day and you're cross-legged. No fucking shit. Your back is killing you. No shit. And you think, oh, I will. My line that I would say to myself is, are you going to die? No.

And I was like, no. And I'd be like, okay, we'll keep sitting here. And I was just like in intense pain. I was like, I have to move, I have to move. Are you gonna die?

No. No. R&R. No. I'd go back to focusing on my breath. And I remember like one session of my most recent one, I sat completely still without moving a whisper for like 90 minutes in meditation in intense pain. But like just things that- Equanimity. Yeah, equanimity. Just remaining a quantumist to the pain, observing it.

accepting your reality as it is not as you want it to be yeah i mean because it's like they're just they are just sensations yeah and you're not going to die no you can just observe if you do you're dead easy but i think it's like it's not for everyone either and i understand that i think meditation is for everybody or rather rather um creating the ability to um to um you know

create pauses between things and reactions. You know what I mean? Like, and widening the scope of observation of our thoughts and our actions. That's for everybody. Awareness. You know? Yeah. Awareness. And also like the, the ability to sit still. Yeah. Unencumbered on without entertainment, without. Yeah. Yeah.

mindless phone. Do you take the phone in with you in the bathroom? No. On the toilet, yes. Really? I don't take it into the bedroom at nighttime. Like when I'm home at like 10 o'clock, I'll plug my phone in in the other room and then I don't look at it again until morning and like I don't pick it up and look at it in the morning. That was a great thing that I implemented during lockdown actually. Really? Yeah. I mean those kind of habits are crazy. So how many, these are 10 day retreats. How many have you done? Four.

four or five, I think I just did my fourth or fifth. And so while I was in there, I was being discussed in the national media

- As the groomer. - As the groomer by this conservative senator. - Yeah, she's grooming, grooming world piece of fucking bitches. - And then I get out and I have a text message from Wendy, my manager saying, "Don't go on social media." - They think you're butt kids. - "Until you talk to me," kind of thing. And I was like, "Oh my God, why?" And I wrote back, "Hero or villain?" Question mark.

And then Mitch had sent me a message and had sent me the video. And I sat there watching the video of this senator in the Senate discussing me. And I was like,

I could not be in a better place to receive this. No shit. I watched this video and I remember feeling like the blood, like it almost felt like it rushed from my feet. Like the heat came from my feet through my body. Like my chest got tight. Like my neck got thick. Like it was like red and hot. But I was just sitting there like observing it. Like I was in peace. And I was like, huh. And just like.

feeling all of the sensations of my body. And I think weirdly in that moment, because I didn't react to it, because I just experienced it sort of fully. Yeah. It kind of like ended there in a weird way. Like, I think that had I had all this been happening, had I been in the real world, participating in real time, I would have been going back and forth and reacting to this and that. And I was just like,

Now you're finally able to accept that you're a pedo. You know? Oh, God. I would like to distance myself from. That's the sound bite we'll use. As a national trinket who is discussed in the national media, I would like to distance myself from. Like, you get the scandalous news delivered while you're literally, like, floating on a lotus flower. You know? My God. Hum.

Do you like chanting? I don't do all that. I just literally sit and breathe. And that's the other thing. I think like...

statues of Buddha and all of this. Like, I don't do any of that. I don't believe in anything. I'm an atheist. I don't believe in star signs. I don't believe in... Oh, yeah. That's a topic for another day. Horoscopes. God, sometimes when I bring that up, like, you can't bring that up. It's like more... In LA? Nope. What star sign are you? I just say Aquarius. Yeah. And we'll leave it at that. And we'll leave it at that. And they'll be like, oh, well, that's why. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Well, once you rise excited, well, let's not talk about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh my God. But yeah, for me, meditation is simply about like breathing, observing and in a world where your brain is rushing around all the time. It's so lovely. Like once a day to like sit down, focus on the present moment. And the more that I do that and more consistently I do that, the more I'm pulled out of that sort of like toxic thinking world of like the either or, and I'm able to just be present and like,

like make choices from a non-reactive place. Um, so we're going to, on that note, we're going to start wrapping up. Um, uh, so do, are you familiar with the infamous interviews of Tyra Banks and, um, Beyonce? Yeah.

where she was like slosh of fierce not tyra and naomi tyra and tyra banks and beyonce so tyra banks had a talk show yes yes yes terrible she would do these puns where like she would make a pun of um so i was like uh say on say like are you did you ever talk to dead people and then she'd be like slosh of fierce when was the last time you got a little tipsy

Unhinged. Unhinged. So I want to do a couple of those for you. Okay. Courtney Fract, would you ever purchase the mineral rice? Do you want to?

Would you ever sell the mineral rats? Yes. And then talk about it on an NPR podcast called Fresh Air? Yeah. Fresh Air? Courtney Stacked. How much money do you have in your bank account right now? I thought you were going to talk about my physique. Well, that's Courtney Racked. Oh.

How'd you get them pecs so perky? I had sex with a gentleman recently and out of drag. And whilst we were in the throes of passion, he said, and I quote,

nice chest. And I was like, how the fuck did you see so deep into my soul and know exactly the words I needed to hear to validate my existence on this night? Oh, I thought, I thought he was going to say nice tits, hon. Nice tits. You got a nice rack there. It's the equivalent of like nice tits. Well, you know what? That's, that is the unifying thing. Men love breasts. Yeah. Men, gay men love, obsessed with pecs. Straight men. Everybody, everybody, these men,

It's just a thing. I, yeah, I don't think I'd thought about it that literally. I mean, they're tits. Do you think gay men love tits because of their mom's giving qualities? And also it's like, I don't know what it is, but it's the secondary sex characteristics. Some of the, and that it just carries over. It's a universal thing. I don't know. On that note, drive me wild, but I guess small tits, you got big tits, whatever. Um,

yeah nice nice chest nice chest yes the Midian grinder complimented me on my pics the other day and I was like wow how did it feel it felt it felt really fucking good it felt like a man finally but it's if you ever like one of um

I mean, that's how simple gay men are. So simple. Like your beanpole one day, you go on a cycle, you get it, write it out, and then you go to the gym six months and now people are paying attention to you. I will admit that I did Google all of the steroids and the human growth hormones and the things. Yeah, yeah.

All of them lower your voice. And I was not willing to compromise my... Your songbird soprano? My songbird vocal tones. My contralto. You know what to do with like a Roy Orbison cover album? Pretty woman. Nobody. Walking down the street. Blue by you. Pretty woman. I think it'd be great if it's like a baritone era. I mean, I feel like I've just got... Who? Oh, a Drankman in Sydney penetration message. And was like...

"Wow, this is the best you've ever sounded. Like, are you choosing songs in more appropriate keys?" And I was like, - Are you finally singing in your range, Flop? - I was like, "No, I'm wearing in-ear monitors and I can hear myself for the first time." And I look at my singing in the last few years and I'm like, "Oh, it actually sounds good more often than not." As opposed to the prior 20 years. And so I'm like, "I ain't gonna go on no steroids now and ruin all, like have my voice break and start yodeling." - But there's always auto tune. Anyways,

listen people and you know give it up for the legend Courtney Yack she's the best most wonderful gorgeous woman that ever happened to be on earth you know what I love is that if this wasn't filmed we would have still been sitting and having the same conversation just a little bit closer yeah

i love you thank you so much thank you for coming and um thank you for being the beautiful and um thank you for being the balls and the beautiful thank you for having me in your gorgeous home oh it's all right yeah i love it yeah happy dies i got the ad tour earlier it's stunning yeah all about 30 square feet of it yeah anyways

Okay, bye. Bye.