I'm Bread Pitt and This is Ghoulia Roberts 43:08

Oh, do you mind? Do you mind if we have just us girls again today? Just us teeny tiny teenage girls. Just two little girls with tight little cunts. Teeny tiny teenage slits. Teeny little slits. Oh.

It's so gross. Well, it depends who you talk to. That's true. That is true. I know a lot of men who would find that kind of behavior very appealing. Sex offenders on death row. Sex offenders. Hey, what's with them? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I've been, so not to get dark right away, but I've been keeping up on my French politics a little bit here and there. Sure. Celine. Celine. Well, at least French-Canadian. And this, you know, pedophiles are big time in France. Really? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sex is a whole different thing in France. We're talking about the age of consent. There was this prominent, isn't France a lot of...

16 and a half year old girls and like 45 year old men. Exactly. But this guy is like even this guy who is like he's in exile now in Italy somewhere on the Riviera. But he had he had he had published something that is like openly details vivid accounts of him, you know, sleeping with eight year old boys in Vietnam. Why? Like, you know, in Thailand or something like that. Yeah. He was just like I think he actually even wrote a thing called like

for like the love of pedophile, like it's lovely to be a pedophile, something to that effect where he's just openly brazenly kind of talking about that celebrated. And so they're just coming around and he was like, had support from a, this like, that's not the guide to modern womanhood. No, we would never, no, we would never. And the whole trying to shift the, and then, and then he was like, he went on, he was in exile because this woman wrote this book.

About consent. And, and it's just like, it's just so crazy. It's so crazy that men in charge, it's just tomfoolery. Girl. Shenanigans. Girl. I've been on Hulu. I've been watching more television. Okay. It's time. And I watched a documentary on child brides. Oh my God. And how in America,

It's extremely common. Now, what do you mean when you're saying a child bride? Under 18-year-old women getting married to older men. Yeah. The parents co-sign on it. Yeah. It gets basically arranged. Maybe they get knocked up at 14. And then sometimes 13-year-old girls are getting married off in the United States today. 13, 14, 15-year-old girls married off, knocked up because they also...

Yeah, you might say, well, when she's 18, she's just going to divorce. At that point, she has no income, no support from her family. She probably already has a kid. Usually it's an abusive relationship sexually. God. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy that I was watching the documentary like there's a brigade of ladies who are going state to state and trying to abolish. You shouldn't be able to get married before 18. I don't think you should. Yeah. I mean, who? Ugh.

And these women, they're made to feel like it's their only option a lot of times because they get pregnant or whatever. Can we call it pedophilia? Can we call it what it is? Yeah. Well, I mean, it also depends on country to country because they think it's... I'm going to take it a step further. Oh, go ahead. What is it? What? Stop Googling porn with the word teen in it. Oh my God. Unless you also are like 25 or younger. Barely legal. You don't need to be watching 18 year olds jerking off. Yeah. You're 45. Yeah.

You're 45. What is the, I mean, I get teens and MILF. That's the two most searched things. Teens and MILF. Yeah. Just search MILF. Fuck someone's mom. Fuck someone's mom. Have you ever had sex with a dad? Oh, I've had sex with a grandpa. Oh,

Yeah, absolutely. Gary Busey? Yeah. Nick Nolte? Was it Nick Nolte? He looked older than Nick Nolte. Interesting. Yeah. Was he hot?

I didn't know. Wait, was this the guy whose asshole you licked? Absolutely. But I've been, no, there's, there's been others. Did you know about the kids? Were you his grandfather, grandpa's day present? Yeah. No, I've, I love an older man. I mean, I love, I love a man who's my age. I like a man who's a little bit younger, but I mean, I'm not trying to fuck a kid.

You heard it here, folks. I'm not trying to do that. But it's a very interesting discussion with you because in France, there is no law. So, for example, if you have sex with somebody underage, it is automatically statutory rape. So it's sexually assault because we have ruled that anybody under 18 is not

able to give consent yeah exactly so but that's not the case in france um that's barely the case here hello but the age of consent is 16 i think over there and they do not those oh this old french like guard these these old dudes they are nasty rotten and skeezy and skanky nasty and they're not willing to give up anything

They want to fuck them three-year-olds. What's the youngest you've ever been attracted to? Well, so, okay. Okay, let me ask another question before that. With the youngest I've been attracted to, the youngest I felt myself wanting to be sexually involved is very young. How old young were you? Ten. How old was they? Eight.

50? I'm just kidding. No, I don't. To other 10-year-olds or other older men. Okay, yeah. But I'm saying like you now as a 38-year-old man, what's the youngest you could hook up with? I mean... Could you pop a boner for like a 20-year-old? Popping a boner, it would be... I mean having an actual physical encounter.

It's not worth the trouble. I don't know. I would say they'd also be annoying. No, that's what I'm saying. It's like, it's like it's to me, it's almost like dating a child. It's like, I don't, I don't, and I don't want to just have like a, a,

like a nonverbal flame. I'm not trying to meet guys down at the limited too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's annoying and they're, then they got their own, yeah, I'm not. If you'd like to know whether or not the guy is too young for you, there's a very simple list of questions. What? How, have you recently been to the Spencer's gifts? Yeah,

What did you get for Christmas? Yeah. What did you get for Christmas? Do you still go home and stay with your mom? Yeah. When's your driver's test? When's your driver's test? Have you gotten Botox yet? Yeah. Yeah. What's the oldest? Is there an age cap? When I was 19, I had a three-way, four-way. I had a four-way with a guy who was 31. And I thought at the time that was like, whoa. Crazy. Yeah.

What's the youngest now that I've been with? I'm 31. I've been with somebody who was like,

When I was 30, I probably was like 23, 24. Well, it's funny. I mean, I, when I, you know how, when you get older, like if you look at say, you know, your cousin's yearbook or something, everybody. And you're jerking off to your cousin's yearbook. The faculty page, the faculty page. But every, it seems like everybody looks younger. Every generation looks younger. Yeah. Like I look at my dad's yearbook and they all look like they're 40 in high school.

Yeah. It's crazy. So, but 18 years old now to me looks like they just got out of diapers. They're insanely looking to get back into my diaper into my diaper. Yeah. It's crazy. I don't just don't fuck kids. Yeah. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't marry people are under age. If you're in a, if you're a parent who signs a marriage certificate for your underage daughter, you need to fucking go to hell. Yeah. And hell's not even real. So let's go worse. Go to drag con. Yeah.

Go to a meet and greet. I hope you have to go to a meet and greet in fluorescent lighting. Yeah. I mean, oh God. I've talked so much shit about doing drag. I know you are like, they're never going to invite you back. No, at this point when I do it, fans are going to approach like, sorry. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Like you're a victim. Yeah. A martyr. Totally. But the, you know, why would the youth and beauty,

You cannot detach the two. Do you think that's why some of the guys want the very young? Because they covet. Well, I think it's like, I don't know. If I can fuck a 23-year-old, does that mean I'm 23? No. No, I think they're just trying to maximize the potential for their seed. They're trying to find a suitable womb. If you're hot, you're hot. Sometimes if you're hot, you're also young. But not necessarily hot.

Because she could also be, I was hot. What is this accent? I don't know.

Um, what's the oldest you're 38 now? What's the oldest you could today? Honestly, there is a pulse. If there's a pulse, if there's an, even then, even then Paul, yeah. Warmth still reading warm. Um, and a space heater can do a lot. Oh my God. So, um, I, I, I have to tell you. So I fucked this dude when I was on, um, in, um,

Not, but Florida, like a trashy Fort Lauderdale. This guy lived in, he was rich, rich, rich. And he had, I on Grindr, I met up with him. He's probably late fifties. Very tan, very tan. Oh,

Old Jewish guy, very tan. Older Jewish people love Florida. Of course, he was very tan. And you could see he had some fat rolls and inside the creases was white almost. Do you know what I mean? Because you can't push it. Do you know what I'm saying? You can't spread the fat while you tan. That which does not see the sun shall not receive its gift.

Do you know what I mean? So anyways, the youngest skin about him is in the creases and the creases. It's all about. Yeah. So, um, but he was like a nice body type. He was like a thicker, taller guy. Um,

Late 50s, maybe even 60. Mom, we fucked the house down. You did? I climbed on his body like a fucking monkey. Did he bottom? Were you in drag? Yeah. No, I was a boy. Did it make you feel young? It made me feel very confident and comfortable. Because you were like, at least... He was very attracted to me. He's collapsed. He's a collapsed awning.

And I'm here. No, he was young and tight. He was spry. He was spry and mobile. And he walked in and he was doing, he was doing a floor routine. He had a ribbon. The thing that I, and this highlights the, why I would, my distaste for like young, young, young. We had a fucking, he was witty. Yes. Conversation was pop in. I'm going to tell everybody here, have sex with old people. Mary. Yes. Yes.

We need to normalize having sex with people who are in death's door. If you're of age. Yes. I like how on one hand we're saying don't fuck the young. On the other hand, we're saying if you find someone older than you, you are fucked that old man. Even if you don't like them. But I love it. It needs to be more like in casual conversation. Hey, what'd you do this weekend? I fucked this old dude. I fucked the wheels right off his walker, bitch.

I stand the tennis balls went up my ass Walker, Texas Ranger. I let him have it.

We need to normalize that. Because old people are hot. I fucked him twice. I went to his gated community. I had to show three forms of ID, I swear to God, to get in that fuckery. Visiting hours. I mean, it was wild how rich people live. That's a whole other discussion. But then he came to my little flop house hotel the next day because he wanted more of the good good. And it was like, it was lovely, lovely, lovely. Wow. Yeah. He jumped on me. That old bastard climbed up on top of me.

He literally used my body. It was. And you loved it. I loved it. And I just like, I was like, oh, it was, it was so lovely. Great guy. Yeah. And every time he looked at you, he was like, does that feel good? You're like, does that feel young? Sometimes to fuck, to feel young, you reach an age where to feel young, you gotta fuck a corpse. Sometimes you gotta fuck a corpse. Normalize necrophilia. Yeah.

Like if I could fuck an old guy, it makes me feel like I'm in like an oil of Olay Regenerist commercial. Totally. You feel like Andy McDowell in 1982. Yes, I'm Andy McDowell. I'm a racially ambiguous mother looking at the camera and going like, my secrets, my secret, you know, like. Totally. It was, but it's nice not to like, I, you know,

I'm not Brad Pitt. So like if, and I've had the great, you're Brad Pitt, Brad Pitt, Brad pot, or like I've, I've had the fortune. I've been fortunate enough to fuck really hot people, but like when Brad Pitt,

Bread Pit. I'm Bread Pit. I'm Bread Pit. I'm Bread Pit. Bread Pit. Oh, God. Bread Pit and Ghoulia Roberts. But, you know, it's nice not to have to feel self-conscious. And not to be pretentious. It's almost like you're kind of like,

You're not throwing them a bone. I mean, literally you are, but like not, do you know what I mean? It's not like a pity fuck or a sympathy fuck. No, it's, it's mutual comfort. Yeah. I will say the chubbier times of my life, I was more with chubby men and maybe that's because I was trying to like, I wouldn't feel comfortable. Maybe if somebody was, I've never been with somebody who's like,

Let's say a personal trainer. And unless I looked like that, I think I would have a really hard time doing it. Well, let me tell you something. I have been with many guys who have what most people would call perfect bodies. Yeah. You know what? I just lied. Okay. I have been with people like that and it didn't bother me. I think I'm trying to weave a tail. You're trying to tell. I'm trying to tell a tale. But the truth is I'm such a slut. I'm such a slut. Anything goes, honey. Oh. Woo.

Oh my God. Cause there's, there's a guy, there's a guy in Milwaukee that I've probably been sleeping with since college. And he had a great body then. His body now is bananas. Oh really? Fitness model. Okay. And sometimes I think I've been grandfathered in. Yeah.

You know what I mean? I couldn't have picked this up. I hooked my years. I hooked my hooks in sophomore year. You were the first to invest in that stock. So your shares have just... Yes, I was really thin. I had a full head of hair. I was like, do you remember when I was young? I was so young. He's like, I got to keep fucking this ghoul. Right. I'm like, I got some... I got some tread left on these tires. Well, you know, I've been...

I've seen the Real Housewives, but I've been watching a lot of the Real Housewives and I'm interested. I guess I've not seen on reality TV women 50 plus being horny. Oh, Mary. Like women 50 plus walking in and talking to guys 20 years younger than them being like, I'm like turning on the charm and flirting. I love it. Yeah. And they're getting those fucking pussies dick. Well, that's because straight, straight guys like older women. They love it. I mean, but yeah. And it's still to this day. Guys want old women.

Fucking 14 year olds. They want one or the other. I know nothing. There's no middle ground for, they want 14 most unattractive person is a peer because they're both physically and emotionally and intellectually challenging. You know, the, um, there was an episode of this fabulous French show, um, called call my agent. And Sigourney Weaver was a guest on it. And she was during her episode. It was like,

The unfathomability of a 71 year old woman having a love affair with like a 25 year old guy, which the reverse has happened in literature, in film, every... In real life. All the time. All the time. All the time. All the time. But it was like, that was the hurdle. And I was like, she's so... First of all, she's 71 and she looks incredible. But like... Sigourney? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Incredible. But...

That's the thing that happens. It's just not a thing that we want to happen. It's a thing that happens, but it's just not portrayed. Because young guys are fucking older women all the time. They love it. Yeah. Seriously, they love it. MILFs and GILFs. MILFs and GILFs. DILFs and more GILFs. MILFs, GILFs, and good GILFs. Good GILFs. Great grandmothers I'd like to fuck. Great grandmothers I'd like to fuck. Yeah, it happens a lot. And something else I noticed in the show they talked about was...

When you're looking for love or like dating, I'd never seen women have frank conversations about, well, what do you want? Do you want somebody really young and hot who you get along with? Or do you want to be comfortable? Meaning like get the old fatty with all the money. Yeah. Yeah. And I guess that's really discouraged. But what I've learned from watching Real Housewives and a lot of 90 Day Fiancé. Okay.

If both parties are getting what they want out of the relationship, it's a perfect marriage. Yeah. You don't have to go, well, you can go like, well, I wouldn't marry for money. Well, if that's really important to that person, it's kind of the point of marriage. Yeah. It's kind of the point of marriage. Yeah. It's changed my relationship with like, I don't know, you and I are somewhat financially comfortable. Would it matter to you if, let's go on a limb here and let's, well, let's take a break actually before I can process what I'm about to say. Okay.

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And we're back. Let's imagine in some fruitopia, cornucopia, it's a kind of fruitopia science fiction novel. That's someone what's in love with you.

And in this fiction, it's inception. There's another fiction that you have the self-love to love someone else. So there's a lot of levels to this hypothesis. And then the third level. The third level, you're not at an inpatient center at the time. Your phone is turned on. We know where you are. You're reachable. There's a human-ish glow to the face. Yeah. The skin isn't...

The color of tuna fish. Gray tuna. Gray chicken. Yeah. And let's say that you find someone. Okay. Yeah. Let's say that you, Katya, financially, I think, I don't want to count your money for you, but you're doing very well. I'm fine. Yeah, I'm fine. Would it bother you if it was like, I want to marry this person. Like, I want to be with this person a long time and they didn't have no money. Would it bother you? So there's a, I was just talking about this. I think it might've been with,

It was somebody we were talking to. It might have been Gigi Gorgeous or somebody else. Was it about Nats Getty? I was talking to a woman. No, it wasn't about Nats. It was about... Was it about Ann Getty? It was about the babies. The Ann Getty's babies. We should do an Ann Getty calendar every year. Where we're the babies. Yeah, that's what I mean. Oh, I love that. I can do it on Photoshop. I'll do it this afternoon. No, but the... Well, it doesn't matter. So blah, blah, blah. I was...

You know. But yeah, go on. Go on, honey. You know, you can identify a more important quality. So there's the bank account. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People can lose that money. Yeah. But you can identify a hustle, a motivation, and you know whether someone is on a track to succeed. And that's a more important characteristic than a bank account.

So by succeed, you mean like fulfill the dream of what they're trying to do? I mean, get some money. Oh, okay. Because money is important. Yeah. And I'm not trying to pay for money for somebody, but I know I will. So that's a trap, you know? But do you know what I'm saying? Like if I wouldn't have a problem. So if he doesn't have money now, but it seems like he might later? That's a huge, yes. Yes. If I happen to meet someone at a point in their life where they may be like broke, right?

but they're on the way and they have, regardless of me, they have a, they have a, a, a, like an identifiable, um, motivation, a track. They're going somewhere. They're going somewhere. Right. And whether that means I'm in business school or like I'm in grass, whatever, um,

That's, that's more important to me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like rather than like I'm broke and I'm just so hot. I'm just like an artist. It doesn't matter to me. Oh no, no, no. Also I love is great. Love is love. Marriage is something different. Yeah. As somebody who spent like 25 years dirt, dirt broke. Yeah. I can't go back. No, no, no, no. Let me, let me say, um, I don't want to expose my mom or my family, but I watched a lot of situations where there was one income and

And the other person, for whatever reason, didn't work, wouldn't work. That's. And it's not sustainable. That's a parasitic relationship. It brings a lot of friction. Especially with gay. But look, with us. With gay. With gay. The one thing that one of the things I always was, you know, sometimes I struggle with being gay, but I was like, thank God I don't have to get married. That was always a part of the gay storyline. That was a relief. You know, it was a relief. So I want gay people of the right. Sure. But.

But I will probably not participate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you can shoot your own foot. I'm not going to do it, but go ahead.

Or whatever. Wrong metaphor, but you know what I mean. Well, like people have the right to do whatever, but that's like Fran Lebowitz, by the way, people have not watched pretend it's a city. You have to, if you watched it yet, it's so good. It's so good on Netflix. But Fran Lebowitz talks about that. Cause she was in New York forever and a lot of gay friends and she never would have met, would have imagined that to be in the military and to get married with the two like Hills that gay people were seeming to, you know, to die on. Like,

Like those were the, like what? Those are the two things about being gay that's so great. I know. I hate to not, I don't want to like say anything that gets me in trouble, but I want people to have the right to get married. No, no, of course. But it's equality as a concept. I do not want to participate in this archaic, heterosexual, religion-based,

Yeah. Historically. That you could also be describing the military as well. Absolutely. It's arcane. Kurt Russell and Goli Han. They're not married. No. Why would they tether their assets? For what purpose? Oldie Han. Oldie Han. Your Oldie Han. And Kurt Russell. That would be great. We're going over to Brad Pitt's house later. Brad Pitt. We got Brad Pitt. We got Kurt Russell. And we got Oldie Han. And Demi Poore.

And Demi Poore coming through with the lunch meat trays. She's got lunch meat trays.

No, that's just to me. I want people to have the right. Willis is our daughter. Oh my God. Okay. Okay. Sorry. Okay. I just want people to have the right, but like, yeah, I've always thought about it. It's like the door prize of being gay. You have all this trauma, but guess what? You don't have to do this thing. You don't have to participate in the way you just described. This is archaic, whatever. Absolutely. And guess what? People often point to the things that like, well, I can't, I don't have legal rights to visit my through in the hospital. I'm like, okay.

Joke's on you for dating someone who could get sick. I'm never going to die. Exactly. Mama, you do hospitals? Hospitals? You smell like hospital. You smell like hospital. You smell like hospital. We're going to take another break.

And we're back from the hospital. You smell like a hospital. You smell like a hospital. You got to watch it. Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Okay, so what is the best franchise? What's the best location? What's the best season? It really depends what you want. I want maximum drama, maximum characters. I want a full range of human emotion. Are you okay with off the rails alcoholism? Absolutely. Prefer it. New York. New York. Women 50 plus.

Fighting about who's the drunk when in reality. Full-blown alcoholism. They're all the drunk. Yes. Okay. It's just jacked. They drink it in the morning? Yes. Okay. Crazy, blackout, tits out, naked at the pool, throwing things. We're talking in public at dinner tables, crying, standing up screaming, making a scene. It's just really fierce. Now, are they actresses? No. Some of them are former actresses.

Denise, Denise Richards would be surprised. Yeah. Like Lisa Rinna, right? Lisa Rinna was a soap star and like a daytime TV actress. Kyle Richards. Yeah. She was the little girl on Halloween. Oh, wow. So she's been in movies before as a child, but there's a lot of them were performers. Erica Jane went to like a performing arts high school, stuff like that. But it's just, it's wacky Jackie. Okay. And then it's really made me think about marriage more. Yeah. And these are, this is, this is a,

What tier of wealth would you place these women in? Is there a pecking order? Okay, it depends on the city. Depends on the city because the richest people in... Some of them seem to be just kind of bourgeois, not very like upper crust. Yeah, like the houses the women live in in Potomac, the Beverly Hills girls will be caught dead. Sure, okay. Beverly Hills, like that's a different level of wealth. Where's Potomac in New York? That's DC basically. Oh, DC, that's right. Okay, so suburbs of DC. Is that black? It's like all black cast. Okay.

And is there any location that has a pretty diverse cast? Because I know like Atlanta is mostly black, right? They've been diversifying it more. Oh, they have, okay. Yes. So like Atlanta's an all black cast. It's NeNe, right? NeNe Leakes. Formerly, yes. Formerly. But now in like Beverly Hills, there's a black cast member, Garcelle. Okay. Beauvais? Garcelle Beauvais? Yeah. She's an actor, right? She was on, she was a judge on All Stars.

I didn't watch Housewives of Time. I didn't know who she was. Garcelle Bovee. That sounds familiar. I can picture she's very beautiful. I'm a new viewer, relatively new viewer of Housewives of Time. And this has been going on forever. Like you're late to the game, right? Extremely late. I mean, that's what's crazy is so many of these franchises, like there's so many. Where do they start? Where do you begin? If you want to start watching it, you're like, oh, I can't even start. Well, you've got too much going with the two kids. And the kids in the car. The kids in the car. The car's been idling outside for two hours. Yeah.

Well, you don't have them in the car. They're in an enclosed garage and the car's running. That'll be fine. There's the only pipe going back. Did you see Midsommar? I sure did. What about that opening scene with the carbon dioxide death from the car? It was incredible. The hose taped to the mouth? Yeah. And the hose into the parents. But yeah. Bitch. Bitch. Yeah. I identified with her.

That was wild. It was so shocking. It was so shocking, yeah. Did you like that film? I loved it. I saw it on tour. I couldn't wait. I was counting the days before it came out. We went to see it on tour. Do you think that you look like Glenn Close in Hillbilly Elegy? I don't think I know. I look like Glenn Close. I feel like Amy Adams. I'm such white trash. I never heard the word elegy. I'm like, yeah, it's a hillbilly named Elegy. Her name's Elegy and she's a hillbilly. Just like Abby who lives downtown. Downtown Abby.

Downtown Abbey. Did you watch that? I heard it got slammed. It got shit reviews. I didn't watch it. I will say there's a program everyone's been watching called Promising Young Woman. Oh, Mary. Oh, bitch. And I didn't see it, but it sounds like an incredible name for a stand-up special. I thought it was, I literally, every time I went to tweet about it, I was like, I love this movie, but I didn't want to make a joke about it because I was going to say it's not a Trixie Mattel biopic.

I would have called my special that in a heartbeat. I know. Promising Young Woman. Yeah. That is so funny. Yeah. It's a great film. Is it sad? No, no, no. It's a revenge. It's a rape revenge movie. Oh my God. So you don't know the premise? The girl pretends to be drunk, goes to a club, gets picked up by a guy who's a potential predator. Right as he's about to finger blaster and she's in a blackout, she comes to him and is like, hey. And then dot, dot, dot, dot.

And it builds up to this very huge kind of... You should watch it. You've got to watch it. Did you see that other rape or revenge movie with the two women and they play cello? It's like world famous cello players. Was that... Was there drugs, hallucinations, remember? No, I haven't seen it. Oh, well. Was that with them? This is a show we're really in touch with what's going on. But you gotta see Promising Moment. It's very polarizing because a lot of people... Because the stylization of it was very like...

you know, um, cutesy. And also we're talking about age. A lot of people criticize Carrie Mulligan for looking a little too old for the part. Well, you're in the sequel promising old woman, or I promise I'm an old woman promise of an old woman. That's your version. That's coming out. We're really excited about it. It's a necrophilia revenge porn where they think they've been fucking a corpse and bum bum. And my, my show, um, hillbilly, um,

Enema. Hillbilly Energy. It's Hillbilly Energy. That's my show. It's going to be rave reviews. Hillbilly Energy and Promised I'm an Old Woman. And I will, to indicate intermission at your show, I will be in Glenn Close and I'll just drive my pickup truck into the stage and sell hot dogs. Sometimes when actresses look so ugly in the trailer, I immediately think,

They're going for the award. Oh, 100%. Oscar bait. I play a beautiful woman every day and no one will ever give me an award for it. No, shame because they're hating at home. Y'all fraudulent bitches hating. Y'all bitches fraudulent. Fraudulent. Fraudulent. We were actually nominated for this pod. I don't think we've mentioned it.

What? We're nominated for a query for the, a query for this podcast, a query, a query award. Who's, let me talk to Bob query. Who's the, where's the, I have a query. I'm very suspicious of any of these words because I want to know who's on the, on the board. Who's on the, the Academy. You know what I mean? Who was this council of elders that are, of course I'm very humbled, but yes, we were nominated for this pod. The bald and the beautiful. Did we win or lose?

We are nominated for podcast. Okay. We are up against sibling rivalry. Oh, juggernauts. Um, Oh, there's a million race chaser. Oh, then I don't feel bad about sloppy seconds. Savage love. That's a big one. That's a huge one. Les hang out. Love that rear view.

Keep it another great one icons attitudes Brian and Aaron love them. Oh and cycle babble Oh, yeah, this is Oh mama. We're dead in the water dead in the water. You know what though? It's nice to be nominated for something that we you there's no way. Yeah, who care? You know, congratulations. It's an honor. It's an honor It's the hillbilly energy that we need hillbilly energy promise. I'm an old woman I'm also nominated Barbara's nominated for a GLAAD award for a great artist. Oh

You know, the fun thing about those, well, not now. Ask me how I felt about the nomination. How did you feel about that nomination? Glad. Fraud.

You're disgusting. But no, I had, I was at a GLAAD event or once with Bianca. It was a sad event. A seasonal affective disorder. I was sad at a GLAAD event with Bianca. And then I got to meet Cynthia Nixon. That was cool. Like stuff like that's cool. Yeah. The guy from Pose, Billy Porter, you know, like famous gay people that they trot out for clout is, you know. Well, what's even better is they all trot out a straight ally.

a rich, a famous straight ally to come tell the story of like in sixth grade, I had a gay best friend. Sure. And then they get an award. Absolutely. And they deserve it. Listen, at gay events, I think giving words to straight people is really important. It's really, it's really brave. Yes. It's really brave. Yeah. When did you choose to be gay? Well, jury's still out. I was just so gay. I mean, I was in, I remember being in kindergarten. I've been gay since. And I don't want to say that I'm gross.

And I know that some things happened to me younger that maybe made me think about sex too early. But I remember being like first grade. I mean, like I would fuck so many of the dudes here. Like I remember being in first grade being like that boy is hot. I would suck the dick right off him. You should have been born in France. These nuts are fabulous. Yeah. We are enjoying some lovely. What do we got here?

Ruby Royale nuts from Squirrel Brand. Latrice sent me these and they're delicious. Lovely. Well, this is a dessert medley. Yeah. Let's get clear. This is not just a nut. We've got nuts in there. We also got chocolate covered raisins. I don't normally get into pistachios, but these are good. Yeah. Altogether, the mix is better than the sum. Latrice was on QVC selling nuts. Really? Latrice on close-up of nuts and then an inside of Latrice giving in her deep baritone voice.

a flavor profile of the nuts in the can. And that's how I knew 2021 would be better. I know, I know. That's a good sign. Latrice selling nuts on the TV. That's a really good sign. She said, move over RuPaul at Mali BB. Did she say get those nuts into my face at any point? No, she was just like, it's her being like, these nuts are quality. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know why that was her voice. I can't explain that. But you know, my accents are so good. I know. It's uncanny. Do you know about this? Hold on. Okay. I just Googled golfer faggot. Okay. Hold on. Get into this. Golfer Justin Thomas says gay slur and anger after missing a short...

Putt. Does he say faggot? Yes. What does he say? So Justin Thomas is expressing regret because there's a homophobic slur that he said in anger after missing a putt. So, you know, those greens have, you know, so it's kind of fierce. Well, maybe he can scream it.

No, but there's microphones all around and he's golfing in it. But if somebody is golfing and they miss it and they say faggot as an instinct, it means they say it a lot. Of course. What would you, I mean, I don't want to say that it's, it's not a slur. It makes me laugh. It's yeah. I think it's funny. I'm not offended.

Yeah, you know, I was thinking about this earlier. The idea of a professional golfer in these fucking white pants, these like chinos. It's funny. I would say fuck my ass. That's what I would say. That's my reflex. Fuck my ass. What's the equivalent of that? Gay people golfing and going like, breeder!

There is no equivalent. It's just obscenity. It's not a question of like a slur. It's just appropriate or inappropriate, not to any particular person. Yeah, it's unfortunate because he's getting pretty canceled. I learned about this on another podcast. He's getting pretty canceled. It's a punishable offense, however, like... What do you think an adequate punishment is for that? Well, the challenge is, does saying faggot once mean someone's a confirmed homophobe? I don't know. So...

I don't think he should go to gay jail. What does that even mean? Well, have you seen the prison show Oz? That's gay jail, honey. Stick a spoon up my ass. They put a spoon in the ass in that show. I remember very vividly. Yeah. I just wanted to bring that up because I just thought it was funny. I just keep thinking of it around the house and I keep going, fuck it.

And I just think it's so funny. I know that's awful, but it's just funny. No, I mean, it is awful. It points to something awful. I hope if he's listening to this, he doesn't take it as like, keep doing it. We love the bit. Yeah, no, yeah. We're not interested in that, but I'm certainly not offended by it. But if you told me a pro golfer was going to say faggot after missing a putt. It is funny. It's funny. Why faggot?

I mean, I guess it's like you're a fat. Was the ball pink or something? You know? Right. Anyway. Well, the takeaways are fuck old people. Yeah. Don't sit bagging on the golf course. And don't fuck them kids. And don't fuck them kids. And eat the nuts. And eat the nuts. Ruby Royale. I'm just going to give an unsolicited plug. Treat yourself to these delicious nuts. Ruby Royale. Give Latrice Royale the coin, honey. Yeah. And that's it from a. The cointina. Yeah.

The cointina. And that's all the hillbilly energy we have from a promising old woman. Goodbye.