“Home Grown, Home Blown” with Fena Barbitall 54:10

I'm Khajiit and welcome to another scintillatingly tantalizing episode of The Bald and the Beautiful. Featuring also me, Trixie Mattel, who's in the room. Thank you very much. At the board, at the mothership. I am at the board. And we have sound effects now. We got college rock, we got...

When something creepy happens. And there's plenty of creepy happening because today we have our very first guest on our second episode of our podcast, The Bald and the Beautiful. That's right. Somebody so gorgeous and influential who knows both of us very personally. Very personally, very deep down. Someone really great. Somebody who's really perfect. A little better than you. She came from China.

She came from China. I know a little bit about China. I went to the doctor. I got a virus from a China. Took a claim. Cleared it right up. Oh, I hate that. It's really good, but I hate it. It's kind of good, right? It is really good. I've been working on it. Yeah, I can tell.

It's so close. It is gross. It's sad. It's sad and awful. Yeah. It's gutted and rotted. 12 more years. Condoleezza, use a skeezer. This is someone who is not bald. Not at all bald, but they are beautiful. Beautiful. I did try the bald during COVID. What are you talking about? That's right. I shaved my head. Oh, she shaved her head. I shaved my head bald. Well, hold on. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage of the complex multi-talents of the only dog seizure medication drag queen, extraordinary professional female. Oh,

Oh, shit. Not me trying to bring you on with laughter. Instead, it was trying to bring you on with cheering and then it was laughter. I mean, what better to...

Yeah. And you were really last minute today. You were out shooting. Sorry. Quail. Yeah. Yeah. Dinner. Dinner. Yeah. We're speaking of beautiful. She was very beautiful in the studio today. We're doing headshots and promo looks for Miss Barbara tall. I was talking to somebody on Grindr and they were talking about, they said, we're not, we're not hunters either. We just go once a year. And I said, no, that's hunting.

Hunting is going hunting. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, if you go once a year, you're not hunting. That's apparently me trying to get laid. You like hunting? You have a shoot gun? Who are you hunting on Grindr with? Girl, I got stuff going on.

I got stuff going on. The gays in West Hollywood, they'll try anything. Yeah. Oh yeah. Dicks in the ass. Not worth it anymore. They want to musket. Exactly. I want a colonial musket. What's the thing where they, the, the, they shoot the ski, the ski shooting, ski shooting, ski shooting, clay pigeons, clay pigeons in my ass. Yeah. You're from the, you're from the country. Uh huh. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Fina, you're a makeup and beauty professional. Uh,

I am. Yes. I worked for MAC Cosmetics for 13 years. 13 years. 13 years. It was a lot. Also, in between, I worked for many other companies, but MAC was the main. You know, I still have that Pout lip brush. Yes. She gave me a lip brush about 15 years ago. Still got it. Still got it. Pout lip brush. Listen, brushes, it's your own destiny. There's that Sugarpill lip brush that I use for my nose.

Yeah. And he was like, that's a lip brush. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. One line. Trace the white line. Yeah. It's a broad stroke. It's funny. A lot of people do white lines under the nose. You do it right on top. Cocaine, cocaine, cocaine. She's killing it, folks. She's really just letting him have it today. Who wrote that?

She said, you live right by the Laugh Factory. You'd think they would rub off on you, but it's a half a block away. Yeah. You could go do a set there. I did a show at the hall. I did when I was getting ready for grownup, I went and did little gigs and I was in full drag at these comedy clubs backstage. And it was like normal, normal, famous LA comedians being like, so just start now. I'm like, no, I'm touring thousand seat venues starting next week. Are you just starting out?

Yeah. Take that, Mike. There was this one show where I walked on stage and everyone was like, oh, I'm sure you guys have had a long night because, you know, the straight comedians, hoodies. Hoodies, yeah. Adult straight male comedians. Oh, yeah. Skinny jeans. Hoodies. Dirty jeans. Bourbon. Dirty jeans. And then the girls are in the beautiful hair and makeup and then the men are just fucking. Bottom of the barrel. Just pig shit. Bottom of the barrel, yeah. Pig shit. Clay pigeons. Yeah.

Well, this show's called The Bald and the Beautiful, and I'm excited to have you on because you're a real-life beauty professional. Yeah. Will I try? Yeah. Yes, you do. Was that your first cosmetic, was that your first beauty industry job? It absolutely was. I was 18 years old. That's a hard job to get at 18. Let me tell you, the bumpiest road to get there, I used to like scoff around the counter and

in like dirty, you know, black eyeliner. And one of the women gave me an application, like fill it out, bring it back. We'll see what happens. I did. And I got hired to be on the freelance team. And I don't think that they really liked me at first because I never got booked. Oh, so you have to get booked and they send you out to different counters to freelance as you know, but I didn't get booked right away. So I had to kind of, you know,

transform myself i went to my interview wearing jeans i interviewed in jeans and like it was my first job interview in my whole life and the uh i'll never forget gerard brulee who was the gm or whatever sat on the other side of the desk when he sat down he didn't get shorter

And then one of the questions was, he was so tall. He was so big and tall. He was a big tall person. Oh, I was like. Yeah, think about it. Oh, the wall's closing in? I don't know why that took me to like a full Alice in Wonderland. Like, he sat down. Oh, oh. Not screaming. So he sat down. He didn't get any shorter. He's a big, huge man.

And he asked me, what do you think a professional makeup artist would wear to work? And I did not. It didn't click in my head that I wasn't dressed. And he was reading you. He was reading you. Read me. Oh, my God. That is amazing.

I think that's cruel. Well, I believe the verbiage they use at that company was image and like being fashion forward. Yeah. It was like a pro way of saying you dress like shit. At that point, it was like you can wear whatever you want as long as it's black and all your bits are covered.

Oh. But I still got the job. You still got the job? I still got the job. Wow. Lord knows how. Damn. But, you know, from there it just kind of, you know, screwballed and- Screwballed and snowballed. I moved to Boston a year later. Yeah. And started working more regularly. And now I depressingly do drag. Were you doing drag at the time? Yes. Because if you've been doing makeup since you were 18, you've been doing makeup about what, 15 years? I'm 36. 36.

You do the math. Just put those numbers out there for people. I really just grabbed a number. But I also, mind you, I started dressing in drag in high school at 16. Tell them about the hairnet or the snood.

Oh my God. The snoot. Of course. So I also had long hair, shoulder length, platinum, platinum hair at the time. Cause my friend, I had this trans boy who didn't go to my high school, but would sometimes come to school with me. Is that ever happened? Did that ever happen with you? No. Wait a minute. No. This is companions. Wait a minute. Yes. There was just a young man going to school with you and you said, this is my young ward. Hello.

He would dress like Kurt Cobain and I would dress up like Courtney Love. Oh, okay.

I'm talking a little baby doll dress. Okay. My curly, messy blonde hair, smudged eyeliner. This is when I would get like makeup from like Halloween makeup. Yeah. You had the white foundation. Yeah. And the black. You throw compacts at your teachers. Oh, I wish. Yeah. I wish. But that was like the beginning of the end. Well, we didn't really introduce you correctly. You're one of those drag queens. I mean, before you moved to Los Angeles, especially on the East Coast, everybody knew you. You booked all the shows. You booked all the girls. Yeah.

you unfortunately are responsible for the career of this piece of shit to our left. Oh, I can't take responsibility for that. But like when you guys first started doing drag together, did you book her? Were you in, were you in the one in charge? No, it was both. We were, yeah, we were, cause she was, she was in the like, what would you call it? You were in like the actual scene, the weekend shows. I worked at all. Like the, the major, um,

and bars. Yes. I was, I never did that. I was in the one little, um, the one little, uh, the hooker bar. And then she did all the nightclubs as well as the hooker bar. And then we both worked at jocks. Yeah. But you did, um, Paris Stryker. Yeah. And then they liked how kooky you were. So they put you on the weekends. I hate that word.

She's so kooky Especially by today's standards We're talking like 10 years ago Kooky was like you did a song that wasn't top 40 This is like 2006 We met in 2005, 2006 Yeah At a Boston market I was in high school Yeah She's 36, I'm 38 Boston's a huge city Did you guys feel No, it's tiny It's a tiny city

It's tiny. No, it's not. It's teeny, tiny. Very small city. Man-made. Man-made. Man-made. Yeah. But I mean, like, you guys are both really famous. Even without TV, you both were pretty famous in Boston, right? No, she was. So, no, she was. She was like, if she went out to any gay night, everybody knew her. Nobody knew me. I was a troll. I was a troll.

a goon and a goblin. And she was getting free drinks and being the life of the party. And I was just a troll. Nuh-uh. Swear to God. That's true. For a while. Yeah. Until Drag Race. Until Drag Race. Until Drag Race. And then it was a literal... Nobody knew who I was.

It was a literal flip. Nobody knew who I was. Nobody bought it. Because I remember when we were on Drag Race together for the first time, you were like the one person that nobody had figured out was on Drag Race. On Reddit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was a nobody. Because me and Miss Fame were the only like semi-social media notable. I mean, she was next level.

Yeah. But I think a lot, this was back when people didn't follow drag queens unless they were on drag race. And so you could just disappear for, by the way, just goes to show you how easily a young woman who's a prostitute like you could get murdered. Yeah. You disappeared from social media for a month and no one noticed. Nobody noticed. There was no social media. You weren't at the gigs and no one noticed. 300 followers. 300 followers. Yeah. I didn't get Instagram until 2012.

Are you serious? I'm dead serious. I was one of the last ones to the game. That's why everybody else that got on early bought their followers and had that big turn up. I was late to the game and it wasn't until I started posting pictures of you guys as assholes that I started getting more followers. I just reached 13,000 so I'll make sure I tag you guys.

13,000. 13,000. That's a lot. Not a single one bought. Not a single one. 13,000 homegrown. Homegrown. And you know what? Homegrown. It's good to have 13,000 people who follow you because they want to watch you rather than- Rather than a bunch of Russian bots. Yeah. Scams and schemes. Scams and schemes. Yeah. I'm not opposed to that either. So if you are a Russian bot and you're looking to follow someone-

I'm scamming and scheming. When you, when you, when you first started doing drag, who did you want to look like? Like who was the fantasy? Who was the icon? Who was the goal? The very first, it was Courtney Love.

Madonna. I think those are definitely both good starting places. Courtney Love and Madonna. I mean, if it wasn't for Madonna, I wouldn't be doing drag. Really? Absolutely. She came to your house. She said, my earliest. Are you available for a booking down at the Hamburger Mary's? You have to do the British accent. Are you available down at the Hamburger Mary's, Massachusetts, Boston, are you available at the Hamburger Mary's, Sandwich, Massachusetts?

Plymouth. We need you to come down to do a number at Marlborough. Plymouth. Come down to Marlborough. Marlborough. Yes. I was, I, the, my first time ever in drag was a, a talent show in elementary school where I borrowed this girl's bell-bottom pants

And I did holiday in front of my fourth grade class. Did they live? Did they turn up? I don't remember. Thank God I don't remember. Later on, my mother recalls getting a phone call from my summer camp saying...

Hey, your son just came out of the closet to everybody by performing Vogue on a picnic table in the middle of a park. Trailblazer. Rule breaker. Risk taker. I have pictures of it with my sister. How old were you? So you came out of the, you stomped out of the closet and said, I'm gay. I didn't even know. I didn't, I didn't know what gay was. I knew I wanted to be Madonna. Okay. That's gay enough.

I didn't know what gay was, but I knew I wanted to be Madonna. That honestly, it's one thing to be like, I had a crush on a boy. Right. That's child's play. Child's play. Did you want to be Madonna or fucking not? I wanted to be Madonna before Lady Gaga wanted to be Madonna. There you go. Well, to be fair to Lady Gaga, a lot of people rightfully want to be Madonna. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Because Madonna, I mean, getting to be friends with you, I learned a lot more about, I learned a lot more about Madonna. Yeah.

She's seizing. She's seizing. I learned a lot more about Madonna than maybe I had ever thought. Cause I explained to you for somebody who's my age, my first memory of Madonna was her walking down that fake road with the hat on. And I'm like,

I mean, that's cool. Wait, what? Don't you never tell me. Don't tell me. That's your first memory of Madonna? That or Die Another Day. Oh my God. I stayed up. I can remember staying up to watch the Justify My Love video on MTV. Mm-hmm.

and writhing around. So this was a two-parter cause it's, it's Madonna, but it was also Carrie Fisher in star Wars. So I would dress, I would pretend I was her in the gold bikini. This is so good. The gold bikini. And then I would wrap a towel around my head. Like it was the ponytail. Oh yes. And then the couch was job of the hut. And I would dance. The couch was, you cast the couch as job of the hut. Did you ever fuck the couch? Did you ever get in under the cushions? Like you're being eaten. Oh my God. Tell me you got into the cushions.

Do you guys ever switch roles? Well, we had to now. I can no longer fit the costume.

Well, there was a video do you remember you were at my house and we were watching You were showing me the performance of Madonna Vogue as she's Marie Antoinette Oh, yeah, and I'd never seen it and I was kind of blackout drunk and I was like do people know about this? Like everyone knows about I'm talking at that at six years old with a fan a hand fan in my room Practicing the tossing it in the air and catching it Wow

Yeah. I got onto her during the Bedtime Stories era, and I remember watching the behind-the-scenes, making the music video for Take a Bow and Bedtime Story, and she was so hot. Bedtime Story. She was fucking the TV, riding around in her panties. Fucking the TV with the bull rider. Can I ask in the room, in the room, in the room, what is your favorite Madonna songs? Only one Madonna song for the rest of your life you can listen to. Oh, God.

Vogue. I mean, it would have to be Vogue. Absolutely. I mean, okay. Yeah. I think mine is Beautiful Stranger.

I knew that. I knew that was your favorite. Oh yeah, it is a good song. It's super 60s, which I love. And it's from Austin Powers. And you could cover that song. Oh, it's so good. She looked beautiful in that era too. Ray of Light. Right? It was around Ray of Light, but she was, remember when Courtney Love threw the compact up at her? It was that with the blue blouse and the bouffant hair. Yes. Yes. Oh.

Love that hair. She looks so hot. Beautiful in that hair. So beautiful. Yeah. That's, I miss, I miss, the one thing I miss the most about Madonna is Madonna at the VMAs.

Oh, yeah. Because we always knew. The VMAs, I looked forward to every year. She always gave it to you at the VMAs. She always came through. Britney and Christina. Yeah, kissing them. Yeah. Kissing up on the girls. One of the probably the most iconic moments of the VMAs. Well, when I watched the Truth or Dare documentary, which I hadn't seen until Fina. Same. I hadn't seen it either. So when we did moving parts, the director and the producer, they were like...

it'll have elements of truth or dare. You should watch that. So you know what it is. And then Fina, I watched it. Do we watch it together? Watch on tour. Yes. Cause Fina toured with me on moving parts. And then she toured with you on help me. I'm done. And then we watched it on there. We watched it. Yeah. And I didn't know at the time how it was even a conversation for a woman like her to have to explain herself doing numbers that are almost like closer to musical theater because she was doing things that I guess,

maybe women singers hadn't really done like the whole conversation about her masturbating on stage and venues asking her not to. Right. I mean, sadly that probably still could happen today, but like, uh, I never occurred to me that like when I saw Brittany doing stuff like that, when I was a kid, that was, that came from something. Brittany saw a Madonna concert once in her life.

You think the Vatican could keep me from rubbing my gash live? I don't think they'd try. Because they need proof that the devil exists to show people that the lot exists. That you're biting his blood. I'm biting his blood. I'm biting his blood. I'm soaked in the solution. I'm soaked.

I'm dipped in the divine. How come you think Madonna has never done a, I know she has a skincare. Isn't it surprising? She never did like a Mac collection or something. She did actually. So in 1990, her blonde ambition tour, they created the color Russian red for Madonna and, and face and body foundation was created for her dancers. Yeah.

I love that Russian red. It's a good one. It's a good one. And in her, the girly show, she wore Viva Glam 1 and Russian red. Interesting. Those were her colors. Wow. Oh yeah. Favorite lipstick?

Red and wild. That's a theme. Favorite lipstick. You can only wear one color lipstick for the rest of your life. I mean, I stopped wearing red so much because it was your thing. It became your thing. She did invent red lipstick. I did invent red lipstick. I would say Russian red, but I don't know. I feel like you're the queen of the nude. Yeah, now I feel like it's a flesh pot or bauble.

- Bubble, bubble's hot. We're very proud of it, sold out. By the way, I don't know what any of them do, so I'm just picking them. - That's the way to do it. - Can I ask, when you started doing makeup, when you started doing drag then, so when you saw Madonna and Kourtney, what elements of that were you pulling first? Like the red lip, the, I mean, 'cause they both had white, white skin. - So back in about 2006,

A friend of ours worked at Shu Uemura in Boston. Oh my God, Tavi de la Rosa. Yes, God. Fancy. Lisa Newcar. Lisa Newcar. Lisa Newcar. A great drag name. The best. Yeah. Yeah.

Just so good. Lisa, by the way, didn't get it when you guys told it to me at first. It's a sleeper hit. I didn't get it for three years. It's a sleeper hit. I didn't get it for three years. It's incredible. Lisa Newcar worked at Shu Uemura, which is a makeup company, Japanese. And Madonna's then makeup artist, Gina Brooke, who's a makeup artist,

Gina Brooke worked with Shu Uemura. She was their color designer. And so when Madonna was in town, she came in to do a class at the store.

So I met Gina Brooke. It was incredible. It's like meeting your idols. Oh my God. And how old were you? Oh God. It was like early twenties. I mean, you're still young enough that meeting somebody like that can just shake you to your skeleton. Do you know what I mean? It was, it was unbelievable. It was like, it was like being one degree separation from the person. So meeting her, she taught, like she did a makeup in front of us and it was beautiful and she was so sweet. And, um,

She literally, this is what led me to wearing no makeup back then. Oh, yeah. I thought you could not tell me. Were you a no makeup girl? For six years, you couldn't tell me I wasn't Madonna. She had a pussy. A little background on Fina. Your look is pretty much like, I'd say it's like fish, but show girl. But because of COVID with the mask, you've been doing the drag eye makeup, sis. Oh, yeah. Because we can't go paint down, I paint up. Yeah. Right. You know. But she would, I mean. When they go low, we go high. Okay. Yeah.

That's what Michelle Obama meant. She was talking about eye makeup. I thought she was talking about my breasts. The nipples are facing down. Not the nipples are facing down. Mama, east and west. East and west. Oh my God.

So you were doing the drag shows at night and you were working at the makeup stores during the day, which is kind of like the dream combo. It really was. And back then this is pre when business before drag race really got kicking. So we were still working and making the money. And like, I think around when 2008 came and like the, you know, the financial crash and I actually lost my job at Mac, uh, in 2008, um,

I then started working for a couple of other brands here and there. And you know, you do what you can. You have to work for, uh, I actually freelanced, I think twice or two or three times for Shu Uemura. It was a dream. Another time with Gina Brooke. Um, um,

Pout Cosmetics. I was a rep for Pout Cosmetics inside Victoria's Secret and Sephora. Oh, wow. And I was a sprayer for John Varvatos. Hey, try this. The Vince Camuto. Try the John Varvatos. We got John Varvatos, Vince Camuto. And if you buy it, you get a free tote. And we do validate. We do. And my daughter got the Pink Friday.

Nicki Minaj. I was a sprayer for the Britney perfume when it first came out. Was it Curious? Yes. Curious was beautiful. I came in the nude, a nude catsuit with the rhinestones. Wait a minute. No, you didn't. In a Macy's. I'm not joking. You did this? No, it was a Filene's. Yes, it was a Filene's before Filene's went out. Wait a minute. You were in a nude catsuit at the Macy's? I was much smaller. Remember how skinny I was? She was skinny. She was my size. Were you in drag? Yes. And you were spraying people with perfume? Yes. Yes.

You should have seen this bitch. She would be like, she was skinny mini, no makeup. Couldn't tell her she didn't have XX chromosomes. Oh mama. Couldn't tell her. Why didn't you wear makeup? Just a little, like a wing liner, a white. I wore my real brown. Why didn't you wear makeup? Because she had a uterus that was sitting underneath a vulva. That was on top of two nipples facing the ground. Yeah.

She was a woman. Gina told me I didn't have to. Yeah, she was a woman. We've got to post, I don't know if there's somewhere to post this, but we've got to post a picture of you from, I remember there's a flyer where you had your real hair snatched up. Speaking of which, she used to do this thing that I was so jealous of because she has this

full, thick, lovely blonde head of hair. And I used to look at how she would snatch up the front into this gorgeous blonde wig. Longingly. And I was like, I tried to do it one day. Three hairs. I got a picture. Three hairs. She sent me a picture today. Everybody out there bald, you need to ruminate on that and we will be right back.

The Bald and the Beautiful is supported by FX's English Teacher. From Paul Sims, the executive producer that brought you What We Do in the Shadows, FX's English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school.

I cannot wait to see this amazing new show with the preternaturally hysterical Brian Jordan Alvarez. It's from the producer of one of the greatest TV shows of all time. And can I let you in on a little secret? A certain Miss Trixie Mattel makes a guest appearance on the show and whoa, it is a sight to behold. Take it from me, a connoisseur of quality television programming. You do not want to miss this show. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

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Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. And we're back with Fina Baratol, Trixie Mattel. I'm Katya. Now tell me about this, the head snatch, the hair snatch. Because she's got a hairline that's in the right place. Yeah, and lace front technology was not where it is. No, it was years away. Years away. Because the only girls who had the good hairlines were the ones who grew out their real hair. Yeah.

It was flawless. It was taught to me because Destiny, my roommate, this incredibly gorgeous trans woman who is a performer. She has nice long hair. Is she Asian? I think I met her. She's more short. She's incredible. She was the

diva of Boston. Dancing diva. When you have a friend that beautiful though in drag, doesn't it at least take the pressure off a little bit? No one wanted to go after her. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't understand. You don't understand the boiling resentment, the pressure. The clowns we were. The goof clowns that we were. Just goons and goblins. You're like, we didn't want to do comedy. We had to. We had to. You were trying to come out and loosen up my buttons. Literally. Literally. Yes. Yes.

On Friday night. So Fina and I never worked together at jocks, hardly ever. The only time when we were vibing was when destiny called out and one of us was replacing her and then we could really vibe. Or we had our own show. Yeah. Cream of laughter on Wednesday nights. But so if you're on a weekend, cream of laughter, it's a long story. Wait a minute. Yes. That's it. The show was called cream of laughter. The cream of laughter. Like cream of wheat. Yeah.

Yeah, I know. I get it. It's just dumb. No, I know. But listen, that's the point. But every drag show though, sometimes you inherit those drag shows and you don't think about who named it. Cause that's just the name. It's just the name. We named it. We know we named it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We named it. Come to my party. It's called, uh, it's called like, you know, uh, dancing with the dollies brunch. And you're like, who named that? Bubbly brunch. We had, I had one show, my one month show where I got to book it. And I just always book Shay and Kim. And it was called, uh,

I was, it called, I think it was called dream house. And it was like, and then the vibe was always like a dollhouse with, cause you know, back then to the flyer making technology was not what it was. So, okay. And I love shocks, but every time I go to Boston, some of those flyers, they are relics. Girl, it is an oil painting of someone. Yeah. And it's 20 fonts. Yeah. 50,

Different size pictures. It's like the pageant promo. It tells you nothing. They never advertise because all of their stuff was word of mouth. Did they ever have a website? Oh, finally. I think towards the end it was. Wait, are they closed permanently?

I don't know. They're shut down right now. That's not shade. I'm just, you know. No, no, no, no. The gay bars are dropping like flies. I think their days are numbered. Machine is closed. Oh, for good. Yeah. That's done. Yeah, RIP. Jocks was a destination. We had some times. After the show, the post-show wiggle. Yeah.

Will you really start to like learn how to do drag once it's your bar and you're comfortable to do numbers you know might not work? I say Wednesday nights I loved because no one would show up. Nobody. We would still have to perform. Yeah. So that's where I really learned to hone in on the microphone stand and that whole biz. Yeah. I would just stand on the stage with the microphone and the prop mic.

And the lips, that's where I learned how to do the concert realness. How have you adapted your look as? Oh, I feel like we've all, you. I just put on a baby filter. I just did a baby filter. She'll find a new filter every other week.

I think you wear more makeup nowadays for sure. Well, no, I feel like back in the day you were the colors. I used to do top and bottom lashes, feather lashes, color contacts, color contacts. Huge. Ghost white skin. Ghost white, no contact. But we all wore ghost white. Yeah, that's true. Can I ask that? I mean, I think I missed that like age wise. How come every drag queen before a certain point just had a white face? Yeah.

I don't know. Well, social media, Instagram. We didn't have that. We didn't have any of that stuff. We weren't posting on Instagram. There are no videos or photos of us like way back in the day that can really document how horrible we looked. I looked fucking rotted. At 38 years old, I feel like I'm gorgeous. I'm going to show you a picture a little bit of me and Jujubee from back in Western Mass when we were like...

18 years old. That's right. Because you guys did shows with Jujubee. She's known her for longer. Like what? 20 years? Oh yeah. Since, oh God. Yeah. Cause she was the first like Boston famous drag queen. Yes. She got us all rabid. She got the girls rabid. Really? Yeah. Cause you guys saw this girl just be like a superstar overnight. And you're like, fuck that. And no offense to her. That mall clothes bitch. Yeah. Overnight successful. Were you guys like, oh my God. It was not overnight.

Because I remember we were doing the viewing parties at Machine and no one would come. And then the last night, a bunch of us girls went to New York City for the finale where they crowned Tyra. And that was the one night that anybody went to Machine for the viewing party. And think about it. This is season two.

No one cared. What year was that? Nobody cared. 2009? Yeah, 10. Yeah, I think the show started around 2008 or 9. Wow. Yeah, nobody cared about the show. We only, even at the first season. That's right. Nobody did care. I didn't care about it. Season one, we had to watch it on the internet. Yeah, on the internet. Nobody had logo. Because I was doing drag like maybe two years before it started. Maybe a year. I never was in the true wild, wild west where like no one had seen drag queens on television. Mm-hmm.

By the time I was 21, like I could go see BB's Harbinate at a club. Oh, really? Yeah. See, we were like, we had been doing it for years already. And like, I think I remember being skeptical about it and thinking it was kind of lame when it came out. And then I remember Diamond Dunhill was nuts about getting a whole campaign because you had to get on the first season. You had to drum up all this support.

Really? It's like you had to bring an audience to you. A voting system. Yeah, it was very strange and it just seemed very desperate. It seems like the window of opportunity to get on the show in a reasonable way has closed. Really? It seems like now...

Like I've tried out almost every single year. Yeah. And there's no rhyme or reason. There really is. And I don't care. I'm not one of those people that cares. I do. Well, I don't hold a grudge. Some girls hold a grudge. And casting is in many ways...

amorphous and rhyme and reason lists. Yeah, exactly. So in theater school, at least they told us like, it's not your job to decide whether or not you're getting it. It's your job to just show up, do a wiggle and leave. And I have a very early, early, uh, learned lesson about casting. My parents sent me to, uh, a camp, a summer camp for acting. Okay. Um, which was just run by my school and we put on Charlotte's web. Oh,

Now, I know by looking at me, you're like... The spider. Clearly, you were the... But that was the role I wanted. That's not fair. I thought you were the barn. The true role that I wanted. What role did you get? I was not cast as...

An animal. Charlotte. Charlotte. I said, you're not even ugly enough to be an animal. I was not cast as the pig. I was cast as the fatter pig at the end of the book. The one who wins the blue ribbon. Who wins the blue ribbon for being the fattest pig. Are you familiar with E.B. White's Charlotte's Web? I am not. He goes to the fair finally at the end and the big, big fat pig wins the blue ribbon instead of him. And then Charlotte dies. And that was the...

That was the role I was given as the bigger. And this little fucking blonde fucking got the role of Wilbur. What was her name? I don't remember. Government name her. What was her social? 010-656-42-buttercookie-way. Get her. What was that thing? Docked? Go to Dockster. Yes, Docks her. This is...

This bitch has been doxxed. I've been doxxed. Yeah, if you want to know where we record, look it up and come kill me. My front door just rang while we were doing this and I was like, I don't care what it is. Can't answer it. No. Murder. Murder. You're delighted. But that experience led me to not feel bitter. Were you, may I ask you a sensitive question? What? Were you, um, I was a big kid. You were a big kid. I was a big fat kid. Was she a big, was she a great big fat kid? Yeah.

If you want to hear from great big fat kids, stay with us. We'll be right back. And we're back. Thank you guys so much for joining us. We're here with Fina Barbershall for the blonde, not the blonde, the bold and the, the, the, huh? The blonde bowl cuts. Well, I am blonde. You are blonde. I still, to this day, covet. I covet your full head of thick, luscious, natural hair.

I took quite a risk when I shaved it off. Did you really think it just wasn't going to grow back? Sometimes it doesn't. Oh, come on. Give me a break. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? For some people, it doesn't. Oh, come on. Not from shaving. Not from shaving. It grows back thicker. Thicker. Well. Thicker. Also, I'm going to expose you because you've long maintained, for as long as I've known you, a rigorous, thorough, deep, and vicious face care skin routine.

Oh yeah. She has, her skin is fantastic. She uses one of those roller balls with the pins on it. What kind of skin do you have? I have combination. And what's your favorite type of skin products? Um,

Well, I know I started using skincare when I was 18. Really? Like serums when I worked at Filene's. I started using serums and creams and all sorts of... I like trying new things. I know every six months your skin changes. It gets used to whatever you're using. For some of us, it gets worse. Yeah.

Why are you looking at me? I'll never forget. Why are you looking at me? The whole time on tour, I'm like trying to, I'm trying to like switch Katya's, her Dawn out for like a real. She's got me on an orange thing that I like. The one that I got you on from Lane comb, the orange face. You like that? No, I use it after the Dawn.

I don't like it either. I use it after the done, but it foams. It's an oil cleanser. I don't like the smell. It foams. It foams. I have such a process. It's a makeup wipe, and then it's a cleanser. Are you talking about getting out of drag? Yeah, but the skincare every day, I don't feel like I'm fully, I can't leave the house without a shower. Really? Wait, wait, wait. But that's different. Showering is different.

Even when we're on tour, though, I never felt like I couldn't. I feel like when I'm on tour, it's a work. I can't start my work day unless I shower. Unless I shower. If I can't work around either of you and I smell like I'm sorry, but fat people, we have we have folds. We have runoff creases. Not runoff creases.

Run off? Running off where? To places you cannot return from. I got to clean out my gutters. Seriously. Well, when I was on tour with Fina, she got me turned on to the Gold Bond medicated powder. And she said she had me put it in my tucking panties for my quote unquote what's gone sour. My what's gone sour. Because she was handling my wet panties so often. She was like, this has to stop.

I had to put it in. I, yeah, I started using it during the summer at jocks and, um, to, to, well, you're going to butter the biscuit. I just, I will. I just told someone the story about the flowering your chicken. Oh yeah. I would stand there in my dressing room with the door open. I'll just make sure everyone could see me. And I would say, I'm going to flower my chicken now. And I would dump it on my, my long, long pubes. I just don't say something else.

Dump so much powder on the dick. And just like wiggle it around. And like wiggle it around. Like rubbing it on my butt naked. It's disgusting. And Fina and Brandon, my opener, would be like, just stop. But then I kind of got over it. I started using bare minerals then. I would just, you know, I would do like a medium beige bare minerals all over the balls. Just to even things out. But the problem was that the bare minerals, I would get a flashback. So when I was taking my dick pics, you know, it would photograph lighter. Well, that's why you got to go in with the bronze one. All that mica.

I mean, I think that's the best hand-me-down tip that I... Well, that, and I can say that I introduced you to the NYX gel liners. The NYX gel liners. The black and the white, which have changed your makeup game. Forever. They're the best. Forever. I think they're discontinued, I know.

They tried to change it into something else. I think it's a mousse now. NYX Cosmetics, if you're listening, if you don't bring that product back, I'm going to kill myself. I'm on my last white jar. Yeah. And had like 30 last year. So that's how often I go through them. We have a challenge for you, NYX. I have a challenge for you. Yes, we do. Can I ask, as a veteran woman of drag, how many years have you been doing drag? Like 20. Well, 16, 36, 20 years, mama. Yeah. Oh, shit. Shit, 20 years. 20.

18 years professionally. Okay. 18 years old, I got my first gig at a nightclub. Is that Divas? Yes, it was Divas Nightclub, which is close. But I did Jerry Hallowell's Bag It Up.

Yeah, I get up. Can I ask, what is your tip for the new girls? Yeah, tell us as a drag veteran. Or what could you tell yourself as a baby drag queen? Like, you know how it's new drag queens? Did you just pull out a picture of her as a child on the runway and just ask her, what's your trauma? Who would you say to little baby Fina? It's a picture of John Candy. Who's that ghost in the background? It's a picture of John Candy now. What would you say to little Fina? Planes, trains. What?

Oh my God. Cause you know, when you first start doing drag, there's so many things you think you're supposed to be doing and looking back, you're like, you are an idiot. Yeah. I used to not even brush wigs. I used to wear it until it was gross and then it became a bottom wig and then it became a bump and that's it. I didn't know how to brush wigs. Yeah. I know how to do anything. I know how to, I know how to, um, uh, safety pin them together.

Yeah. Well, that was like the big thing back in the day. It was just like putting one on top of the other. Yeah, because that's $80. $80. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money. And those wigs had a short lifespan. Two months. Before they were gross. For that time period, I thought I was Madonna. I would come in and they would never have the exact wig. So we'd have to get something. And that's where I taught myself how to...

a wig to be how I wanted it to look like a character. So like when she had like the Farrah Fawcett, I had to try all these wigs and like cut it and Destiny was a hairstylist. She showed me a lot of like, so I kind of had to, that's where I started and then, you know, steamrolled into. Yeah. And then she, the birds, that's, I don't know if anybody's purchased the book, Trixie and Katja's Guide to Modern Womanhood, but you better believe that all the hairstyles in that book were styled by Fina. Oh yeah. And God,

God, how many episodes of uh did you do that for? So many. For Katya? Most of them. Probably at least 30. I think whenever I started coming, I think in 2017 is when I started. Because you kind of became like Handmaid's Tale backstage on uh because you would watch for flyaways. You would do most of your wigs on the spot. What happened was when we first moved here and I didn't have like a job or a gig, she just had wigs and I was like, let me play with these. And I just like, you know, teased and styled a bunch of them and then

It kind of turned into a thing. You've gotten really good at it, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you think? I like to think so. All the ones, all the times I've ever looked the best has always been by her. You know, it's always so fun because, you know, with you, it's, you know, a little bit of an inspiration from you and then it's really creative freedom. Yeah. Yeah. You really let her kind of like go for it. Go for it. Yeah. On tour, she and I, I mean, like we would be a little bit like,

it's five pins, not four Dolores. I mean, that's kind of how she would just be smoothing a wig. And I would be like,

Okay. But I would do it this way. Like this, literally the same thing. Yeah. God, the same thing. There was one wig that you had on tour that I think we tried fixing every day for like three months. Was it like the main wig? It was the first wig, the opening parts, the opening wig. And it was like, we tried fixing it like every night. And there was one time you were like yelling at the wig in the mirror. And I was like, I was like, just tell me I did it horribly. Just tell me. And she's like, no, no, I'm mad at the wig. Not you.

Psychopath. Good deflection. Yes, I'm cutting. Her inner thigh just like. You know what I feel like all the time in the movie Carrie, the remake, Julianne Moore using a seam ripper, stabbing it to her thigh, crying and going, these are godless times. Was she your assistant before me? Julianne Moore.

Julianne Moore. Yes, she was. Because touring with me is kind of difficult sometimes because I'll admit it. Usually have to make me think something was my idea for me to go along with it. That's the best. You have to go, Trixie, I like this thing you said. And I go, oh, yes, I did say that. Let's do it. Versus if someone suggested to me, I'm like, I don't know. It's kind of like I would buy things and put them at your makeup counter. I would put them in front of you.

That's the trick. I'm so glad I found this. Yep. I'm so glad I bought this. It's great. When Brandon would do my records, he would be like, I love that idea you had for this. And I'd be like, oh yes, that idea I had. Let's do it. He's like a fucking freak. She's like the opposite. She's like if I come to work, period. Well, she also can't brush that wig. So anything is, you know, any hole's a goal. Do you know what I mean?

I mean, did you do a lot of the hair for Netflix? If you watch Queens who like to watch, there's a few episodes where you step in. You remember the episode where she and I have big hair and you step in and go, they're merging together. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. Literally. God, the Mason Dixon. By the way, I know we're probably running out of time. You also are really good at fake eyebrows. Yes. What's the secret? Oh, the secret is a secret. She's been getting into the fake eyebrows. You clock her. Yeah. Well, I've been, I've been doing it. Not today. Mama. The secret is the finding. I've had to find the right product.

Anastasia Beverly Hills, their little tiny brow pencil. And what I do is individual hairs. You just got to find the way practice, practice, practice. And you can do them, you know, they don't have to be the same. They don't have to, you know. No, because my eyebrows are not even cousins. Yeah. Like they're totally unrelated to each other. But it is about color.

Yeah. The color matters. Yeah. Also the waxy consistency, powdering. It's a, it's a process. Yeah. I learned a lot actually from Layla McQueen. Oh, well, her brows are insane. If you guys don't know, if you don't follow Layla McQueen on Instagram, those brows in or out of drag. Yeah. In up close. Yeah. In real life. In the sunlight. Yeah. I grabbed her by the neck. I was like, you're going to draw those on me.

Yeah. Even when she has, cause she'll also match her color of her hair to her brows. Yeah. Perfectly. Yeah. So good. I think she's the best drag makeup artist living right now. I really do. I really do. I'd agree. Yeah. She's doing something. We're, we're using her for tricksy cosmetics coming up for something. I'm really excited. Cause she's really amazing. Remember you dye your hair a lot too. Do you remember? Okay. So when we were making moving parts, the film and, um,

there were certain parts where Fina said really important things that we couldn't take out of chronology because this whore had different hair colors every two weeks. And no one told me. So Fina would be like, yeah, but we can't use it because suddenly she has pink hair. No one told me. Oh, continuity. If they had said snacks, like if they had just used snacks.

Oh, that was right. Yeah, it was good. It was good. It was good. Oh my God. Well, where do people find you on the internet? Yeah. I'm on Instagram at Fina Barbatal and on Twitter at Fina Barbatal. And I also just started my own Instagram for my wig. Oh, fantastic. For doing wigs for people. Taking custom orders. Taking custom orders. I take custom orders. All of New York is wrapped up in custom orders. Yeah.

Are you really? I am. I am so happy about that. I do not do your typical Marcel finger wave. That's not my zhuzh. Yeah, go down. If you want a shitty bird's feeder. You want an upside down building burning? Yeah. How about the Eiffel Tower? Remember the Eiffel Tower? Eiffel Tower. Remember when you guys did the

the Christmas one with the, Oh, the nativity scene. You want, you like bird, are you bird fan? You want sparrows, bird's nest, barn doors. I have like a small handful of celebrity clients. Who else have you done hair for besides us? Oh God. I did a meatball. Bun. I've done Marta Beachu. Bun. My girl Miranda back home.

it's so nice when they're in la because you don't have to mail them or crush them uh victoria's secret i did one for her recently yeah sent that all the way to uk took like a thousand months i just finally got there there was sort of a magic hour not to be like okay boomer but there was sort of a magic hour with drag where none of us were famous and no one cared about any of us i know and you could do anything and because you didn't have that much more ambition than

Friday Saturday Sunday at the gigs it did get to the point in Boston where I was so popular that if I was on Grindr everybody knew who I was and I would go on a date and someone was like well I really like you but I just I can't be referred to as Mr. Fiend of Arbital right girl

Got a girl. Thank God for Craigslist. You're like, I don't go by that name anymore. Goodbye, Charlene. It's candy. It's candy. Maybe Biden will bring back Craigslist. What's the hair? Precious. What did you call it? Precious. Promise. Promise. Candy promise. Candy promise. Well, thank you, Fina Barbatal, for joining us on this day. Absolutely. Everybody follow at Fina Barbatal on every single platform. You are so wonderful and we love you very much. Thank you. And goodbye. And goodbye. Bye.

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