Ep 165: Live From Atlanta: Ludacris Was On The Guys Flight 01:25:09

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Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This is Important... That thumb is too pointy. It won't feel good in my ass.

You don't need a love nest. You can just go to the kitchen. Welcome to oil and soil. And it's just greased up dudes with their dicks doing chores. You still get seven-year-old rock-hard diamond cutter boners? Buckle up. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Nobody just means it. Oh, my God.

I would like to say thanks for coming out. That felt really good. Thank you, Atlanta. A lot of hot, hot, hot, hot energy coming from you guys, and we appreciate it. Thank you. It's that hot Atlanta energy right there. I love Atlanta! Wow.

Blake, the way you played your computer right there really makes me want you to play the guitar. I know. I wish I could do anything I looked like I should be able to do. I also wish that for you. Because you look like you can be really good at a lot of stuff. Yeah, I look like I can skate, surf, play guitar, be a mad scientist. I don't know. But dude, you're so good at throwing out buzz balls. Hell yeah, I am. And look at how he plays that shit. Buh-buh-sah!

Look at that skill! That's actually the sickest one. I feel like you have mastered that, so that's good. What do you think, like, with the Paul Simon going, throwing out buzz balls, do you think we could have done that for 45 minutes, maybe? Just... Oh, more cases! Here we go! Like, what's the tolerance level? I bet we had one more case in us before, like...

No. Do we have two more? And by the way, special guest, Ludacris, come out and throw out a case. Ludacris, come out. Oh, he doesn't want to? That's weird. He shook his head. He said, nah. Why? Why not? He's being a bitch. You said you were gonna.

Yeah, I'm actually really pumped at Ludacris because he's here. He's going to throw out cases of buzz ball and then he bails on us. Luda, I don't like your Tudor. Yeah, he was backstage. He was eating JR crickets with us. It's weird he's not coming out right now. Yeah, dude, he was hyped on it. Well, first of all, he eats all of our JR crickets and then doesn't throw out the buzz balls? What the freaking heck? He said he was going to. He's fucked up, dude. I will say, who? Because we had a little debate backstage. We were like, who is...

the number one stunner of all of Atlanta. Is it Ludo? That's a very specific reference to one person. Peace up. Hey, town down. But yeah, who is... Okay, you want me to just say the guy? I thought number one stunner was putting on a little stank to it. Gucci. Yeah, okay. It does. So who... Name them, Blake. Let's... Three or four. Mr. Atlanta. Okay, well, we'll start with Ludacris. What...

Okay, that's... Right? Yeah, okay, we'll just name them all, and then we'll go through them. But what about Outkast? Yeah, that's who I would vote for. That's... So you guys like Outkast? Or are we saying Usher? Because, I mean... Whoa, I did not know. Uneven, but he can dance. Yeah!

Lil Jon? Fuck, that's going to push me. Wow. That's going to push me in a slightly different direction maybe. And this is just who you like their music, not who you'd want to fuck or anything, right? Wait, what? This is nothing sexual. It's just not sexual at all.

It can be if you want to take it there. I mean, I suppose music is inherently sexual, so I understand what you're talking about. Wow. All music is inherently sexual? I think so. So like when you're watching, I don't know, like a children's show? Oh, right. The clay music. Hey, Little Bo Peep. She could fuck.

T.I.? T.I. is A.T.I., right? T.I.? Oh, yeah. T.I. Fucking tip is a big one. Dude, I literally dressed like T.I. in 2006 today. Okay. Good job. I feel like I'm part of Grand Hustle. Okay. But it sounds like OutKast.

Yeah, it sounds like Outkast. Okay. And I love that. I like that. But Lil Jon now has a show where he like redoes houses. Have you guys seen this shit? Is it sexual? Yeah! No, it's like what does Lil Jon want to do? Oh, yeah. They like turn like a garage into like a bar. A pimp.

pad for disco. Yeah, it's kind of like Pimp My House. There's nothing more I like that where they're like, you could have a kitchen counter or you could have a jello pit. Alright, that's not that useful. Yeah! They're like, you could have a garage or it could just be an aquarium. Yeah. It's just a gorilla cage where you keep live animals. Yeah!

Yeah! So I'm actually a little bummed that the kind of non-love for Usher, dude. What? Yeah, because I said Usher. There was just those six girls over there that are like, U-S-H-E-R. Is it because we pronounced it wrong? We didn't say Ur-sher? Right. Maybe that had something to do with it. That's it. They didn't understand us. Little limp-wristed lady up front said, that is it. Ur-sher. That is it. No, I think it also has to do with, like,

Last time he performed, I think it was in Vegas, he just straight up would steal guys' girlfriends from them during the show. Well, music is sexual. Music is inherently sexual. All music. Because you've seen his obliques, dude. Oh, yeah. My wife would leave me immediately. That's why I did not bring her to the show in case I was sure we were to be here. Right. And I think he might be. Yeah.

You're just waiting for him to fucking like, onto the stage and shit? Dude, I don't even like bringing Chloe around Atlanta in case we just see an usher spotting. Right. He's the only dude who could wear, he had like the eye makeup thing with like the crazy color dancing on top of that car that like did that and then made it back from that. Well, I thought that was fucking tight as hell. Yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It was not. Peace up. A-town down. It did not.

Dude, well, I feel like we're kind of very blessed to be here. We had an... This is my confessions. We... We were kind of graced. Bye. Dude. I don't know what to do. Baby, I'm gonna keep on doing my confessions. Anyone to cry and we gotta tell it all. Damn near cried when I got that phone call. I just...

I don't know, I don't know what to do but to keep on living my confession. Yeah, we got it. I know about every fourth word. But man, just the vibe. It makes you do this a lot. It's so good. It's music. It's sexual. Very sexual. Gyrating. Or like, remember like watching Barney as a kid? You'd be like...

Do you remember Bananas in Pajamas? Barney was sexual, actually. I don't remember that show, but I remember they came down the stairs. Bananas in Pajamas? Yeah. They marched down the stairs? Did they do that? That sounds sexual. Yeah, that sounds way sexual, dude. It was these two bananas that would just Eiffel Tower guests every week. Right. Fuck. Yeah, yeah.

Bananas in Pajamas. I want to say it was an Australian show. I don't know this show even a little bit. Bananas in Pajamas? I don't know it either. Does anybody know Bananas in Pajamas? Hey, good for you. You know the show. Everyone standing up does not know. If you're sitting down, you know. I just know the rhyme, dude. The rhyme. You know the show? Because it's a really bad name for a children's show. Right. Because you think of Bananas...

Okay. Wearing pajamas. And then it could be anything else but then pajamas and then you immediately go, well, bananas in a pajama is a boner. Would be an erection. Bananas in pajamas is like in the morning when my boys come into the bedroom and I'm like, god damn, bananas in pajamas. Boys, come on. Mom and dad are still, we're sleeping. We're sleeping in here. We're wrestling. We're just wrestling.

I feel like I'm not going to have a lot of words at that moment. It's just going to be a lot of wrangling cattle. Just whoop, hip, whoop, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip,

You said words. I did say words, but I considered little dick popping through. Little dick popping through. So your little dick is popping through? No, he's talking about his kid, dude. No, that's from an episode of Banana Pajamas. Wait, so I was saying that it's the morning. I have morning wood. My kids come running in the bed. Your kids are running in with their dicks? That's what was happening with Durs' kids, I think, at the beginning. Yes, dude. What? I just said bananas in pajamas when they all jump in the bed. Hey, first of all, don't put that on Durs' kids. That's what I thought.

That's what he was talking about. Cut it out. We're editing this out. This goes on the floor. Adam, you know. We're only talking about Derseskid's dicks for the live show. We'll cut it out for the people at home. Moving on. You know for a fact when you wake up as a young child, us,

That is when your boner was the hardest. Sure, but I mean, that hasn't gone away from me. Yeah. You still get seven-year-old rock-hard diamond cutter boners? Yeah, this dude can spin on them. I wouldn't call them diamond cutters, but they definitely would cut like a hard clay. A hard clay? Not a formed clay. Something from the earth? Yeah, it's still like a little soft. They could plow a field? They could cut something.

Do you think you could plow an entire row of a field with it? No. If you did like a Spider-Man crawl dragging it? I think it would dissipate real quick if it was running. It would wear it down? Yes. Dude, if you were dragging it through the dirt, how long would it last? Is that the question? Dude, we've got to get a game show going. I would say four feet. And the fact that this isn't a live game show where we ask audience members to get rock hard dicks and plow their dicks through mud.

That's on us. We're sorry about that. You can do so much. Welcome to oil and soil. And it's just greased up dudes with their dicks doing chores. You can buy a farm. And they farm it for us. And we film it and make money. You guys. Hey, guys. Welcome to the Workaholics Writer's Room.

This is what happened. This feels cool. You could draw with it. If you rubber banded a marker on it or something, too, you could see what happens there. Oh, like dictionary, but like dictionary. There we go. Yes, you have a point. Hold on. Let me dust off the button a little bit. Yes, point.

You guys are getting your money's worth tonight. Dictionary, bro. First port to the night. Yo, but as soon as I said it, I'm like, why is the word dictionary so familiar? I know. That took me right now, too. That's a thing. You would have to call it dick-pictionary. No, you would spell it with a K.

Oh, dick, like, okay, fine, great, dope. Yeah, even easier. Points for spelling. You know what? I just recently watched the intro to Zoobly Zoo. Yeah. Zoobly Zoo. Okay, I don't know that one. Wondering Sidemen is waiting for you. Oh, different song. Do you guys know Zoobly Zoo?

Yeah. If you're asking me, I'm going to say no. That cockatoo lady? You don't know Zubly Zoo? No, I don't. It was fucking terrifying to me. What was it? And it's like these adult humans, and they are all dressed as animals. Furries. Right, right. And they come out, and they're like singing Zubly Zoo, and the intro song...

Four minutes long. Yeah. Oh. Aired every episode. Sexual? Was it sexual or what? When I was a kid, that fucking parakeet got me going, dog. No, the lady with the nose? No. I was like, the other lady. I was six years old. I was like, what'd that nose do? Yeah.

What, goes up your ass? What do you think it does? I don't know, dude. He might have been thinking about kissing it, man. Give him a break. No, I think he wanted her to shove her nose up his ass. Well, that's tight, too. So, that's fine. Should I play 30 seconds from the Zoobly Zoo theme song? Yeah, please. Let's see if it...

And the fox dude was weird. Yeah, oh, you guys can see it. Can you see it up there? You guys got that? Good, good, good. Okay, yeah, no, this looks creepy as fuck. No, but the leopard dude was dope. I felt like he was talking directly to me. He'd be like, welcome, Anders. Was he the black guy? You! You!

Young child. And I'm like, Mom? Mom, there's a guy talking to me. Black dude, like little, flat top. Oh, yeah. He was tight. Can I play Bananas in Pajamas theme song? I think I know. I think I know this one. This one is fucking fire. You're about to get bodied. Wait, hold on. This is a Razor commercial. One second. You guys...

Glad you're here. Is this what you came here for? Bananas in pajamas are coming down the stairs. Bananas in pajamas are coming down in pairs. Bananas in pajamas are chilling in their beds. Cold so she's dancing and trying to catch the weather. Yeah, this is a little... Yeah, I don't know if I got bodied. I think maybe people think you're sexier and that's why they cheered harder, but I think...

I think people really enjoyed Zubly Zoo as well. Blake's over here with the swagger of a college kid. Granted, I haven't watched that in a long time. I think I had aged out when I saw that show. When is the show from? I thought that was new, like your kids were watching it. No, this was like 2012. Whoa. No, no, no. What, 1998? Higher? Higher.

Oh, that's why. Hey, Blake, first of all, you have the internet. And secondly, you were watching children's programming in 2012? Yeah, this is why. Well, to be fair. Workaholics came out in 2011. I know. Music is sexual. That's true. Dude, you don't fuck with bubble guppies, you stupid...

No, admittedly, that's when I knew that Workaholics should probably end. It was the last season we were in the writer's room, and these guys all have kids, and they were talking, they pitched like a Paw Patrol bit, and they all were laughing hysterically. They were like, oh, shit, dog, Paw Patrol. Then fucking Marshall's like, no, Chase.

And I was like, and the show has to end. Yeah. We're old men now. Yeah, Adam pulled the plug. It was during an episode. We could have done a fucking collab-o with Paw Patrol, be in the movie now. Damn. Oh, well. See? Oh, well. Slept on that. Okay. That's all right. Maybe we can do it. This is my confession. Dude, I was trying to say, we are blessed people of Atlanta today. What does that mean?

Okay, say it. Hang on a second. Do you know what he means? Let me explain. Do you know what he means? I have no idea what he means. What do you mean? Incredibly clear. We flew here on a plane. That's true. Literally with Ludacris. True. He was in the front row. Yeah. And we went through some...

terrible turbulence. I got scared. I thought we were going to die. I legit went to my iTunes that I was listening to. I'm like, I'm going to turn it to a song that is going to be cool to die to. Really? And what song did you play? I just played Diplomats, like Cameron. I'm like, I'm going out like a soldier. Okay. Wait, really? We weren't on the same flight, but you had bad, really bad turbulence. I was like this.

On the way in, I caught some. Yeah, but it wasn't scary to me. No, ours was... It was maybe some of the worst I've ever been through to the point that a guy was walking past me from going to the restroom, and when turbulence hit, normally you just grip the seats. He goes...

Oh, shit. He did. Oh, shit. Get out. Yeah. Yeah. Just lamped out, dude. The best part is arms at his side. Dude, he was just like. It was legit. It was bad. Dude, I thought for sure he was like an air marshal or something because why are you doing that?

It was the most insane, like, if you think, like, what you're going to do with bad turbulence, that would be the last thing I would do. Not hold on to anything and just go to the floor. And get in roll position where you could just hit the chair, hit the chair. If anything, I would, like, hop on someone's lap and, like, hold on to them.

I was about to go hang on to Ludacris, but I was like, if we live, that's going to be a weird story. But hold up. I knew he was on the plane. You did. So when the turbulence hit, I was like, we're about to die with Luda. And I mean, actually, that would really suck for us because it would be like, Ludacris died at 52 or however old he is. And then in this tiniest print down below,

Other people died. Do you think it would elevate us? It wouldn't even mention us. It would be like, famed physicist, a really nice school teacher, and then some guys that talk about buttholes. Some asshole with a dog. But I will say, part of me hoped that it would raise all tides or whatever, where it would be like, so Luda died on the plane, so they kind of have to also mention that we were there too. Mm-hmm.

It's science. He'd be everywhere and we would also join that. Whereas if it was just us, it'd be places. So that, I mean...

Yes, for sure that's how I want to go out with all of you guys. I do want to be like in my 80s. I hope we're still doing this, just no gums, no teeth. Just all gums, just being like, I would suck a banana and pitch here my stick. And I did. It reminds me of Boner. Oh, I wish I could. I'm so glad to still be here. Terz is like,

Yeah, you'd pick up smoking in the next 20 years. Something's going wrong. What if I just threw up blood? That'd be cool. But so, dude, Luda, the only reason I recognized him was literally his eyes. He had a hoodie up, COVID mask, and then sunglasses, but he took off the sunglasses for a moment, and I was like...

Hold up. Nice drop. And then when he came off the plane, just straight up ninja style, little briefcase. Well, dude, I feel like you're almost...

draw more attention when you're that undercover. Because I didn't know that that was Ludacris. He told me that Ludacris was on the plane, but we were waiting for our producer Anna to come off the plane. And I just see a guy with this much of his face showing. Right. Wearing sunglasses with a mask so you could really only see his nose because he pulled up the hoodie to that tight. Just all cinched. That has to be a famous person. Right. That actually reminds me of the last time I was in Atlanta. I was...

Here we go. I was in Magic City and... Okay, what is... Hey, he was at the Coca-Cola Museum. Don't... That was during the day. I did the bang, bang, bang. I did the Coca-Cola Museum to the Puppet Museum. That shit is fire.

But we closed the night out at Magic City. What is Magic City? For those of us that don't know. You don't know what Magic City is. No, I'm not as familiar with ATL as you guys. I'm apologizing. It's not a bagel. Early apology. It's a...

It's like the sickest strip club ever. Oh, tell me more. There we go. You don't have to be ashamed about it, dude. The way you said strip club, you can just say strip club. You don't have to be quiet. Yeah, why is it sick? Why is it sick to you? No, because he was like, it's like a strip club. Did you see he got a little nervous when he said strip club? You don't have to. We're in Atlanta. They go to strip clubs to like eat breakfast in the morning. Right.

They're like, you want an omelet? Let's go to the strip club. When you sign a deal for like, you buy your new house. You're just trying to eat a waffle. There's just a girl right behind you. Loose butthole. Can you give him a bite? Oh, you want that shit scrambled? Just put it right there. Sonny side up.

Right.

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So I was at the strip club. Oh my gosh, you go to strip clubs? That's fucking gross, dude. Bro, grow up. And it was T.I.'s wife's birthday. Okay. Tiny, is that right? Yes, yes. So I lucked out. I was there on a very special night. But there was a dude walking around the club who straight up looked like

The Invisible Man. Like, wrapped in a scarf, like, hat, sunglasses, and everybody's tapping me, and they're like, that's T.I. Really? And I was like, The Invisible Man is T.I.? That's awesome. Wait, so why doesn't T.I. just...

it's his wife's birthday, you would assume that he's going to be there. Right. Because he looked pretty fucking cool. I'm like, maybe the next thing is like we all dress like the Invisible Man. Well, isn't Kanye masked everywhere? Isn't he doing it? This was pre that. T.I. was on it first, dude. Atlanta's always first, dude. See you.

That's dope. I mean, I'm just imagining Ghost Dad walking around the strip club and I like that. It could have also been Bill Cosby. It probably was. Oh, right. It probably was. Yeah. Yeah, I could see him there. That would make sense. That would make sense why he's all wrapped up. I've never been to Magic City. I have been to Claremont Lounge. Yes, boys! Love it, dude. It's so fun. Cool.

Claremont Lounge, for people that don't know, I see a few confused faces. It's like, I don't like being at a strip club where the women are too beautiful. Okay. Okay. And not taking away anything of the Claremont Lounge women because their beauty comes from within. You are beautiful. But...

You know, because you're at a strip club and then you look around and all your guys are like oogling some ogling, whatever the word is, some woman's butthole. And you're like, this is gross, dude. These guys have boners. The Claremont Lounge is just fun because there's a woman there with...

that are four feet long. Give me a hell yeah! And she swings them around like a helicopter. And then when you're done drinking your Pabst Blue Ribbon, she's like, throw it up. And you're like, I don't want to throw my beer at you. That's offensive. And she's like, not here, baby. And you're like, yeah! Don't mind if I do. And then you throw the beer up, and then she takes her meaty titties and goes, shlap, shlap! Together? They literally say, wapap.

That's a whoop-ap. That's where it's from. Dude, that's an epic whoop-ap, and she smashes the beer cans. Whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoAP-

I'm walking in, there's a bunch of people there, and people are like, oh, Adam goes to Claremont Lounge every night, this sick fuck. Right. That's what they're thinking. They're like, this little horny pervert. I just like recycling. I brought all these cans. I kind of wish instead of her crushing the can with her own boob, it was kind of like, do you remember those machines? Like, my friend Colin in his garage, it would have one of those, like, crushers. What happened?

I'm hearing raw meat. I'm hearing bone meat. I'm hearing... What the fuck are they saying? I don't know. There's only one way to find out. You, right here. This is going to... It already made it worse. Blondie? And that is a singer. Oh, Blondie is the woman with the meaty titties.

- Oh! - Very shagadidly. - We got her name! - Can we get a big shout-out for Blondie, please? - Epic. Epic. Big shout-out to Blondie. - But, but, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! I just want to make sure we are definitely not giving flowers. - No. - No? - No! - No flowers. - No! - I'm not leaving Atlanta and landing in L.A. to the news that flowers did what flowers do.

No. Because if people don't know, we give flowers. We used to have a thing at the end of the show where we would say, hey, you know what? I'd like to give flowers. And then we'd name a celebrity, someone that we really like that they don't get enough appreciation. And then we'd give them flowers. And then they would die within a month. Yeah.

Multiple people. Like a dozen people. It's in the double digits. So, hey, Blondie, we love you, babe. Yep. You're the best. But we're not giving you flowers. I'm a little spooked. I'm a little spooked. If we could go back. Blake, what were you about to explain with this machine? Because I remember these. What do you wish it was? Do you remember can crushers? Yes, of course. I love them. I still love them. They love can crushers. You really remember them. That's cool. Wow. It would be cool if Blondie allowed you to kind of do the function of the can.

So it's like she held the can and then you kind of... Well, where would she be smashing these cans? Against her rib cage, I think, by the way that he's describing it. Well, I feel like that might cut Blondie and I respect Blondie. Just leave her alone. Just let her do what she does. I think what she does is perfectly fine. I think Blondie, the way she... I mean, you guys haven't seen it, so you don't know what a magical treat it is.

The meat flapping the wind the way it does. Your boobs are huge. I will say the way that you described it, it was much more magical than a can crusher that came from Blake.

Well, think of yourself hoisting one gigantic breast up with two hands and coming down. What are you grabbing onto? Her like nipples or something. It's like a very flat. I don't think about what I say. I just fucking say it, dude. I know. That's what we know about you. I'm imagining you grab her like areolas.

Consensually. Of course. So you're grabbing both? No, one. One. One areola. Okay. Why not do them both? Okay, this is her titty. I'm grabbing like the tip of it. I'm hoisting it up. The can, she's holding the can like this and then I go, swing! I'm going to make one alteration to this. I'm going to say that somehow it happens where the can's standing on the stage. I don't know exactly how that's going to go down, but then you wouldn't hurt her.

I just don't want to injure Blondie. She has a good thing going. She is quite the player. If she was lying like this, if she was like this, then you could basically... Now I'm listening. Then I kind of grab her large breast and I go up. And there's no way she could be standing at a counter. But go ahead. She's not at a counter. Right. I have not been harmed in one bit at all.

You know what? And that might be a specialty treat that she dishes out to her most loyal customers. Yeah. Which apparently is me. So, dude, you're going to get the crush? Yeah, I hope so. Nucky Grandma! Is she a grandma? Do we know that? She is. She is. Well...

Unreal grandma. What an unreal grandma. Because most everybody's grandma is pretty sweet and normal. But this grandma is a fucking beast. They're like, no, my grandma sucks. Yeah. Well, I mean, like...

Yeah, it is cool that your grandma is like a true living legend. Because in LA, we have like Angeline and we have a few kind of kooky women, older women that you're like, wow, look at her go. She's someone's grandma. She's running through traffic. But Angeline, all she does in LA is she wears pink. She drives a pink Corvette. She has billboards for no reason other than that's her name. And it just says Angeline. And she's...

and she has giant fake breasts, which is cool. And then it was like kind of a spotty when you first moved to LA, you're like, oh, that's the first celebrity. And you're like, but she's not. But she is. But she is. Your boobs are huge. That's...

Goldie's the better version of that because you know why she's a celebrity. I'm going to call her Blondie, but go ahead. Oh, Blondie. Did I do that? You had me tripping there. I'm like, hold on. It's a Goldie or Blondie. Blondie's the better version of it. Yeah, I'll give you that. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Who's to say? Who is to say? We can have all these crazy grandmas, guys. Although a fight to the death? Blondie, for sure. Oh, yeah. Whoop-wop!

But Angeline might be like, I don't know, weirdly flexible. She might do like Chung Li upside down helicopter kicks. Off of her Corvette, just fucking... Yeah, does she get her car in the fight? I don't know. And she's a California babe, so she's done nothing but yoga and eat avocado for 60 years. She has the power of the sun. Hadouken!

But Blondie's got giant titties. Blondie's tough. Blondie's got to be tough. She crutches beer cans between her bubs. Hey, is there like a late night 24-hour roller skating rink here? What? We'll give you guys how long you need, and we'll just come back. Blake, I don't know if you've – I mean, we've covered this on the podcast that I'm basically crippled at this point.

So you can't walk. You can just roll. We'll pull you. I don't know. Go roller skating? I want to go roller skating with my guy friends. I would actually love to go roller skating. I would love to go roller skating with you. Wouldn't that be fun? Yeah, yeah. We've gone. When did we go? We went with our kids. I was blackout drunk for that.

I feel like, I didn't even know cool roller skating was a thing until the movie Roll Bounce came out. Oh, dude. Roll Bounce. That's set in Atlanta, isn't it? I believe so. That was Bow Wow. Am I thinking of the right movie? I think so. Yeah. Yeah.

ATL. Oh, ATL. Yeah, they were also... Well, that was set in Atlanta, obviously, yes. No, weirdly, Delaware. Yeah. Oh, ATL set in Delaware. ATL is about opening a roller skating rink in Delaware. Didn't know that. When's the last time you went roller skating? Andres and I went together, but I will...

I was blackout. Yeah. When's the last time you roller skated? I feel like when I was like a kid because I didn't like roller skating. I didn't like quads. Are we talking quad or inline? I'm saying that there's a difference between roller skating and inline skating. You don't even need to say it. Yeah. It's known. Just clearing this up. By the way, you're allowed to wear roller blades at the roller skating rink. Every time I went to the roller...

roller rink. Oh, shit. He has to think. The roller rink, I was wearing roller blades, I believe. There was an era where you could rent only roller blades, and then they were like, let's get back to basics. I actually found, I think I've tried quads before, and I'm not good at it. It's just different. It's weird you call it quads, because I've never heard anyone call roller skates quads. It feels like how you just made up a term the way you just called breasts bubs.

In a way that no one has ever said. Thank you for... It worked for me. I was like... I mean, I liked it. I was like, that's a cool term for Blondie's big old whammies. Yeah. Some bubs. Some bubs. Her chubby bubs. You're calling quads would be like... The two and the two. Like a roller skate. But it is weird. Yeah, it doesn't make sense because rollerblades have four as well. So they're quads.

Well, you are so dumb. I don't think that I am. Okay, I don't think that I am. I know you don't. I know you don't. Shut up. It all makes sense up there. You don't like going to roller rinks? No, the first time I ever finger banged a human woman.

Was at a roller rink. Oh, really? Not at church? I love it. And so then... I love it. I love roller rinks. I'd go every night if I could just to relive the memory. Hey, where were you in the rink when this happened? Come here, come here, come here. He's like this.

Come here. Oh, shit. That's what I'm like. Where were you when this happened? You were on the floor? It wasn't in the rink, dog. Two in the pink. One in the rink. Okay. Two in the pink. One in the rink. It was right there. It was right there. Yeah.

No, it was in a... There was a Playdazium right next to the roller rink. Yes. We've covered this. Yeah, homie, it's a Playdazium. Because I did the same thing in a Discovery Zone. We bonded over this. And that's a ball pit, basically, right? No. It was that night. It's science. Is this like the jungle? I was specifically...

- Whoo, hot! - I was specifically in a tube. - I was 14. - So one of those, like the jungle, like we had the jungle, so you were in a tube and that's when it happened. - Yeah, I was in a tube.

It was very, very exciting. And then I came down, strapped on some quads, and skated so fucking hard, dude. My friends were like, he's going for a land speed record. It was just me like, wow. You were so juiced. He was just trying to dry his hand off. They're like, what got into that kid?

He's got the power. The power is within him.

The crossover turning. Yeah. You got to hit him with the fucking... Oh, yeah, dude. The crossover turns. Yeah. The DJ's just like, I don't know what happened in that, too, but he came out a fucking gold medal skater. Yeah, but it was just like... Apollo, oh, no. It was just like boys to men on the... Yes, points! It wasn't a fast skate song at all. It's just... I'll make love to you if you want me to. And I...

This is my confession. Hey, Isaac, can we get another beer on stage, please? This one's going off the rails. It's about that time. Isaac's bringing some brews. Where are you?

Is he not bringing them? Isaac, hurry. My hands are starting to shake. They're getting the DTs, baby. Isaac, look, man. People like you. Isaac, see? People like you, Isaac. Isaac, take off your shirt, dude. You don't get one. Show them your blondie. Show them your blondies. Let's see those nipples. Let's see them blondies.

Our professional manager refuses to flash a crowd of 2,000 people. Pizza, pizza. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Let him have it. You know, we're not doing apologies yet, but I'm sorry about that. That's not okay. It offends me. That's not okay. Oh, wow. The gun show. Whoa. You asked for it. Pizza, pizza. Great ass. Great ass. Isn't that crazy? Yeah.

Isn't that crazy? Thank you, God. Wow, dude. I'm so excited. What is this? Yeah, but notice he's not taking the shirt off because those are prosthetic arms. Those sleeves are cool, though. The sleeves you could buy at like a costume store that you just slide your arms in. Yeah. And when you flex, they like bunch up. I think I went for that as Halloween once. I had like a nurse scrub and that muscle suit and I went as like the like

most muscular nurse you've ever seen. Well, have you seen them now that they're so tight and they look so real? Wait, what? Have you seen the skin suits that you can wear now? The muscle skin suits? And they look so fucking real that it's actually scary. It's basically like you're putting a sex doll on your body. Oh, okay. I do that. But wait, I do that. I don't understand how it's... It's like the same silicone...

that they make dolls out of and you wear it as you. You can know a word. Yeah, silicone. Yeah, well, you really want to know what my brain was doing? I do. I do. It's going, is it silicone? Oh.

Oh, Silicon Valley. Right. You don't want to do that. Wait, so it's essentially just a rubber shirt you put on? Yes. And then it has the built-in definition? I haven't seen these new ones. When I did it, it was like pillow. Dude, it is unreal looking. We could all be so jacked. Let's do it, man. So sweaty underneath. Oh, yeah. You probably can't breathe. Do you have to put hella baby powder in there? I mean, I haven't done it, but I've...

I've wished I could. Did you though? You're not wearing one? Those are your real muscles? He's had the tab open on the browser for months though. He's like, do I get this?

I'm just going to tuck it away. It's like danger. Stock is low. Only three left. Okay, okay. I can always return it. But it's just for my ass. Halloween is coming up. Yeah, that'd be great. I'm that guy that wears those khaki pants and just sprints. Yeah, that dude. Ladies, what are you doing if you get a guy back to your house and you get in the bedroom and he just takes his ass off right before you get down?

Yeah, is that a deal breaker, ladies? Dude, so surprised how many women just go, no, actually. Yeah, not at all. We don't care. No. See a sweet man? You see some weird shit on the apps.

Adam has a whole pile of his fucking... We've kind of... Wait, can we... We've kind of covered this on the pod a little bit in that like the 80s, men's butts were revered in ways that I was like... But men are writing all these movies that are talking about men's butts. So is that what women... Are women into butts? Is that the... Like what... Hang on, you horny, horny lady. Yeah.

What makes you horny? I need to know. When you're looking at a guy, hang on. When you're looking at a guy, like outside of the face, body stuff, what's like the number one thing you're checking out? Ass? Shoulders? Height? I think they all just yelled cock. Well, here's what I think it goes. I think it goes...

height is probably first. That's what I was told my entire life. They were like, you short little fucking troll. That was your mom being mean. Unless they like short kings, bro. You're a fucking short king, bro. Go off.

Yeah, man. Some chicks like that. I'm seeing a lot of thumbs down, though, for the hype. But I think... Yeah, but you know what? We're living in a woke society now that now everyone's like, actually, I don't like the thing that I actually do like. Okay. I'm respectful of everyone, even short little troll. I mean, people. Right. Right.

But you can't all be going after, they're not all going after the tallest specimen. No, they want to climb them like a tree and build a little tree for it in their pecs. No, because I think there's a short woman that would be like, I don't want a very tall man. I want somebody that's... But then you're going to make even smaller kids and then like the earth is going to spin out of its axis. Whoa, whoa, dude. Right? Dude. Isn't that what happens? I guess so.

I guess so. Like if all the smallest elephants were the only ones fucking, we'd all have elephants that we would walk around town. Bro.

Yeah, that's true. It's science. How many years would it take to make a pet elephant happen? Six to five tops. Six to five years? You could make a miniature elephant? I think. How small are we talking? We're talking on a fucking leash, so you have to be able to hold it back. Like we're talking like teak. Full size like this table. Well, okay, so in order for us to create... Guys, are we doing this? Are we doing this? Yes. Is this our four walls whiskey? Yes.

Actual tiny elephants? I'm down to breed elephants. We're always talking about businesses that we should invest in. The Always Sunny in Philadelphia guys just created a whiskey called Four Walls Whiskey. And we were like, yeah, maybe we get into booze. Because, you know, we love drinking. And Blake makes $11 for Buzz Ball. So that's good for him. None of us make any money off that. But, yeah. And we love that for Blake. He gets...

One and a half Subway sandwiches off of his buzz ball deal. That's big. It's a trifecta. So we're like thinking, what do we invest in as a group? And I think we just found it. Tiny elephants. Miniature elephants, yes. Miniature elephants. You're a fucking disaster, my guy. In order to do this, you would need to have

You're always breeding tinier... Like, we get the smallest elephant and then breed it down, right? Yeah, that's correct. Well, how big is an elephant before it can breed? Can they breed when they're small? Well, it depends what music is playing.

I feel like if you play, this is my confession. They're going to be fucking pretty small. I don't know, weirdo. I don't know how young you can make elephants fuck. I didn't say young. I said small. You said how young can we force these? I did. Fuck. These pachyderms to fucking get weird. I'm weird. I'm fucking weird. That sucks. What were we talking about right before the elephants though? How tall people are.

Are sought after and butts? I think it's tall. Okay, height. And then it is... Cock. It's not cock, Blake. It isn't cock. No, the cock is farther down the list. It's farther down the list. You wish. Then it is. I know. I know it is.

I mean, for sure it's your face. Well, why didn't you cry about it? Excluding face. Face, I feel like it's got to be number one. We're saying teeth, but I feel like that's part of your face. I think the next thing would be just like a physique. Did you say gums? No, she said taste of cum. Thumbs. Yeah, no, for sure. Thumbs? Thumbs. What? No. So you're telling me that if a jacked

super fucking hung, handsome, rich dude rolled up to you and was like, I actually don't have thumbs. You would kick him in the curb and what is your name and address? I don't give a fuck. That's not very woke of you. Yeah, I don't feel like that's inclusive. She's just like, you gotta be able to pick shit up for me. If you can't grab the grocery bags... Wait, what...

What makes a good thumb? You've seen those weird short thumbs. I know what she's talking about. The ones that are like short or the ones that go backwards. The ones that go super weird back. Who's got a backwards thumb here? Wait.

Oh shit! Oh my god! Your fucking thumb looks like a mailbox! Okay, I feel like that's a pretty niche thing. We can all admit that. I feel the next thing would be abs. And that's why... You haven't touched on butt yet, though. I know, I'm getting there. And I think that's why people love Blake, because Blake has the abs. Right? Right.

Blake, take off your shirt and let everyone touch you. I don't... No. Just take a minute and run through. And then I think it's butt. I think I would flip those. I think abs are last. I feel like guys with abs, I think that's a red flag for girls who are like, this motherfucker doesn't eat. Right. This dude works out too much. Right. I tell myself...

Well, I mean, those are just the women that don't work out and they love cheeseburgers, which I love those women. Yes. But I still think a butt is higher on the totem pole than the abs. Yeah.

The priorities. All right. Hey, agree to disagree. What about thumbs for you, Kyle? I'm still completely thrown off that the fact that people look at my thumbs. That is scary to me. She clearly had a boyfriend with a weird thumb and it was an issue. That thumb is too pointy. It won't feel good in my ass. Right. So that's what it is. It needs to be smooth, round, thick, but not too thick. The perfect size thumb. Sure. Sure.

And I think we know that you're a freak. Yeah. And now we know that. I need a perfect thumb to sit on. Gucci, for women, now let's rate women. For me... Hang on, let me get my binder out. For me, it's all personality. I like the smell of a girl's hair. Yeah, I like shampoo, too. I like shampoo, as well.

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Yo, since we've been kind of, you know, wheeling and dealing, going state to state, staying in hotels. What he's describing right now is our tour. He's saying wheeling and dealing. I know you don't know what he means. Since we've been on tour, going state to state, staying in hotels. Wheeling and dealing. Every shower has different shampoo than I'm used to. Yes. Like my hair will go across my nose and I won't recognize the scent and I'll be like.

Damn, who is that? Yeah. It was a little fluffy today. I feel like I might fly away. Did you smoke anything before coming out here? What's the deal?

He's not telling. I smelled myself and I was like, who is that? It's just Atlanta. It just does it to me, man. This is where I'm meant to be, dude. It's where the players play. For applause, all you had to do there was go, yeah, I did smoke. But instead, you trumped that with, I don't know, it's just Atlanta. And if you go back, hey guys, don't feel too special because if you go back and listen to

any of the live podcasts, he'll be like, I guess it's just Louisville. It's just like Cleveland. When I'm in Indianapolis, that's how we do. And the crowd every time is like, yeah. No, that is not true. That's where we live. So wait, you've lived here filming. So you've spent some time here. You've spent some time here. I have. What are your top three favorite qualities? Not places, but like things. Because I was about to say. Five things.

No, not the establishment. Elmir, what up, Grizzlympics? That's just a place. I'm talking about, like, people, vibe, like, what are your three things that you took away from living in Atlanta? I love the individuality of Atlanta. I love the artistry of Atlanta. I just love the...

the soul of it. I just feel like it's a city that has an identity. It really does. And I really, I love it. Identity politics. Identity politics. Okay. Uh, for me, I don't care for it. I'm a, I'm a Delaware guy. I like the roller skating in Delaware personally. Sorry. Quad. Yeah. The quadding. Quadding.

Yeah, dude. No, Atlanta fucking rules, dude. It's more... I mean, I don't know if people from Atlanta like it or not, but being in L.A. for so long and then coming here and feeling like the better version of L.A. Yeah. Right. And to be specific, what do you mean by that? Of Hollywood. Like, you know...

Because you're just, you know, you're at the hotel, you're in the lobby bar, and you recognize other actors or you know a producer, and I feel like you just kind of know people here, and it's kind of a home away from home for so many of us. Right. And we just fucking love it. Everyone's so damn nice. Yeah! The food's great. The people are great. This is where Tyler Perry built another White House, right?

He built another White House? Should we go there tonight? What do you mean he built another White House? Like to film movies and whatever. They built another White House on his studio lot. He's got a whole lot thing out here. Oh, he built like the White House. Yeah, to shoot movies. Yeah, not like a house with white paint. Like the White House. I mean, did that guy fucking nail it or what? Yeah. Yeah.

Madea. Yeah. Put a dress on me. I'll make 35 of those movies. Madea is fucking fun. Let me do that. But also the live shows. I watched one of the... They filmed the live shows. They're unbelievable. Really? These people sing their fucking lungs out of their mouth.

Well, so do I. This is my confession. It's different. It hits different? It hits different. What is it? What's the live show thing? What are they singing for? Like, he writes plays and shit. Like, that's how he got started was doing, like, plays and stuff. Then segued to movies, and now he has a White House. Wait, was this before or after Madea? Before. Oh, nice. You don't read the Tyler Perry Bible? What the fuck, dude? I don't. I don't.

You didn't read his bio before coming to Atlanta? I fucking watch Madea. I love Madea. This is the way. I just listened to Usher's Confessions 25 times on the plane. Should we do some Hot Topics? Oh, that wasn't even the remix. Hotlanta Topics. I forgot. Confessions is like part two. That's the original Confessions. Oh, yeah. The part two is the banger. Yeah. Anyways, yeah, we could do some Hot Topics. Hey, play us a little Confessions part two. Well, I'm going to look that up.

I thought we did it. I thought we did it pretty perfectly. Here you go. This is the one that people really like. Yeah, we did it. We did it. Isaac Horn, everybody. Yeah. Let's give him a little wiggle. A little wiggle or something. What did he just do? Did he just shoot the beer cap? Hit me with the hot topics. Yeah, you got it. Hot topics on the way. Thank you, Blake. Wow. Okay. That was a special Atlanta version. This dude.

Nice. So word on the street is the only way to reach Dolly Parton is through fax.

Which is fucking sick, dude. F-A-X. Yeah. I thought it was like, facts, B. Right, you have to speak truth to Dolly. Like, you can only speak facts to me. Right, she's got a bullshit beard. I don't want to hear a cap. No cap. This is cool. This is Dolly Parton. No cap. Yeah. So Miley Cyrus, she's the one that outed Dolly for using the facts. She says, we used to do the phone, but then she does a fax, and then someone scans the fax, and then they put it into a text message saying,

And then that gets sent to me and it's always signed from Dolly. Oh, interesting. So that's your dad does that shit. Blake would his dad is super nice guy every once in a while. He'll reach out and say, Hey, good job on this or congratulations on that. And then he always writes from Tim. Yup. Yup. Right. In the text, in the text. It's generational. I'll be honest.

Everything we do today lacks a touch, and that has a touch. Yeah, this reminds me of when I heard that Bill Murray had a 1-800 number, and you're like, oh, that's how you get a hold of him. Right, but that's how you get a hold of him. She reaches out by fax with a handwritten message. I love it. There's something to that. That's why we keep, now we just put a little thumbs up

on someone's text to you, you might as well just be like, fuck you, I heard you, I get it, I got it, okay. I know what you're saying. This is cool. This is communication. So Dolly added that it would just take up too much of her time if she tried to get in touch with everyone who tried to get in touch with her. So I just say, fax me. Fax me or call me and I'll call you back. And that scares everyone off. I know why this is a thing.

because Dolly Parton got on Instagram with the big old titties. All right. And she was getting so many DMs like, send me titty pics. She was like, come down to the Claremont Lounge. Okay. And she saw the photos. She was like, that seems fun. Maybe I'll roll through. No, she said, for real, I don't accept DMs. You have to fax me if you want a titty pic. I heard Jolene worked at the Claremont Lounge. That's probably exactly right.

That's how you shunt that. So hit me with it, Blake. Oh, yeah, sorry. Jada Pinkett Smith. God, shut up. I'm so sick of her. Everyone's favorite. Here we go. I'm so sick. Give me a hell yeah. Reveals she built a beautiful sex room. Hey, Jada, you good? Jada, you good? She built a beautiful sex room for her and Will Smith. I mean, who gives a shit, lady?

How about you fuck your husband and then just not tell the world about it? Yeah. And then I won't have to talk about it in front of one million people right now. What do you think the NDA for the construction crew is? Who got to build that? Dude, they're like, yo. Can you imagine being the carpenter who's like,

You might need bigger rafters. He's like... The construction guy that's like, and how many hooks did you want me to put? This ceiling right here is not load-bearing. You know that, right? Right. It's going to need to bear a lot of loads. Yes, points! He's got it! Yes, points! Woo!

He's like, and I'm not allowed to talk about it, but I just installed two bananas in pajamas. Zubily zoo. Like, what is she up to? What's cool to me is when you hear and watch the interviews, she thinks she's like running it. She thinks she's like mastering the conversation and she's like bobbing and weaving. And I'm like, you just look insane. Yeah, she looks insane.

Jada Pinkett Smith constructed a special love nest for her and Will Smith to allow them to spend intimate time together when their kids were little. When you're an adult, you can fuck anywhere in your house.

That's the best part. Yeah, you don't need a love nest. You can just go to the kitchen. Hey, by the way, I'm not opposed to the love nest idea. I think it's kind of tight. But your home is supposed to be your love nest. Yeah. But also block a door. Get on the roof. Yeah, the roof, the backyard, the pool. But maybe...

Plenty of spots to go get it down. But maybe they're super freaky and you don't want all that oil to get on your bed until you need a nest. Here's what I think. I think they definitely weren't fucking and somebody was like, you know what? I bet if we built a room specifically for fucking and spent X amount of dollars on that, made it perfect...

then we'd that makes sense and you're like yeah i mean let's try it

And what would that be? He's like, well, I'm about to go shoot Pursuit of Happiness. Yeah. I'm going to go do the Serena Williams movie, but sure, when it's done, when they're done building it. I guess use some of the Wild Wild West money. Let's fuck. Build a sex dungeon for us. I don't know. Let's go. You know what? Fuck it. How much did you spend on the sex dungeon? I'll do Bad Boys for Life. All right. That's fine. Great.

He did that to pay off his dungeon. His dungeon is very expensive, dude. It's so expensive. It's like that show you were talking about earlier. There's an aquarium for no reason. Will John built their sex dungeon. That's tight. Britney Spears claims she had brawling sex with Colin Farrell. What the hell?

Everybody's just out and horny. What is going on? Talking about sexually forward. That's it. That's it, man. So is she brawling, though? Like, fighting? Well, see, this is the issue. Is Colin Farrell like, what the fuck, mate? He's going to come for us. We can't keep talking about this dude. He's going to pull us aside somewhere and go, it's got to fucking stop. Okay? It's got to fucking stop.

It's going to fucking stop. It stops now. It stops here. When did we talk about Colin Farrell before? We talked about his sex tape. We're going to be on tour flying to New York. He's going to be front row. Actually, come in the bathroom with me for a second, mate. I'm going to take you in Bruges. Come here right here.

I do such a bad Colin Farrell. I just went off of whatever the fuck you were doing. But he doesn't even do a good impression of himself. Brawling sex. Brawling. Brawling. Fighting. Fight sex. So they had a two-week, according to Brittany, they had a two-week hot romance. I like that. Where she had with Colin Farrell years ago, comparing their quickie affair to a street fight. You crazy bitch. Wow. Also, you know Colin Farrell's like, no.

Now I look like I'm assaulting her. What else does she say about it? What else is she talking about? Brittany says that they first met Colin through a club promoter, Classy, on the set of this 2003 film, SWAT. Classic. Brittany says the sparks flew immediately and the stars wound up having a lot of rough sex, describing it as a two-week brawl.

Right. Justin was like, I have to get out. This woman is going to kill me in my sleep. Right. She added that brawl is the only word for it. We were all over each other grappling so passionately. It was like we were in a street fight. That's... She sounds... I don't know, man. Honestly, you know I'm fucking 110,000% Team Britney, so that's fucking... Yeah.

Well, it sounds like... Yeah, you're right. She doesn't seem absolutely insane dancing with knives in her living room in her bikini. Right, but that's just self-defense. Stable. That's self-defense that she's developed since the brawl fuck. Well, yeah, that's what she's done now. By the way, can you imagine just wrestling for two weeks and coming?

Wrestling and coming. That's too much. I ship them. I like that. I want them to work out. You think they should get back together? Yes. Colin Farrell and Brittany. Oh my God. I think it's just cool that they had those two weeks. That's great. Thank you. And that's all they needed. And then Colin was like,

I was just in a street fight with Britney Spears for two weeks. And she's in really good shape right now. I'm drinking a lot. She was jacked. In 2003? You've got to think, she was just training for MMA. Was she snakes in 2003? Yes, she had a lot of snakes on her at that point. I thought so. I thought so. Yes, of course. I thought so. Hit me with it.

Okay, Jesus, man. Keeping me on my toes. Atlanta woman slurps down 48 oysters. Oh, I saw that video. Yeah, yeah. In viral TikTok, driving her date to ditch the tab. I saw that video. Wait, wait.

To ditch the tab? Yeah, he was like, this is too many oysters. We're out of here. She basically ordered a ton of food, and he was like, this is a lot of money. I'm leaving. Yeah. Wow, dude. No, dude, it was crazy. 48 oysters, that's a lot. I know. And she served them all? I can't even imagine. Like, I'll eat one oyster just because to me it's kind of like eating a loogie or something. Yeah, I don't like it either, dude. Loogie.

It's a loogie. What do you call it? He says loogie. There's nothing wrong with saying loogie. No. Well, it's the wrong word. That's not the wrong word. Well, it's definitely not even, it's just slang, so you can say it however you want. How do you spell it? It's not even slang. Spell loogie. L-O-O-G-I-E. That's not how I spell it. That's not how I spell it. L-U-G-I. Oh, what's the second? That's not how I spell it.

It's L-O-U-S-E. What's the S? It's like St. Louis, but it's loogie. You are so dumb. Honestly, all I think about is the word Luigi. Shut up, bitch. Just Luigi. Luigi? You just spelled Luigi. That's why I spelled it like that, because I was about to spell Luigi, and I was like, I got to bail. Well, what is cool about this is when we do this podcast, we definitely out ourselves of who is the dumbest of the crew. Well...

- Luggy. - Who is the dumbest of the crew? That's actually a very interesting question. - I'll use Luggy in the sentence. - Okay. - Luggy here. - I'm a dumbass. - And that's it. That's it. - And you don't think I could've not said Luggy here? - No, Luggy. Luggy. - Well, Luggy here.

Well, yeah, you have kind of a cool southern twang to it. Yeah, now I like it. Looky here. Looky here. You guys don't fuck with oysters, right? No. I really fuck with them. When I shot the first Pitch Perfect movie, I was in Louisiana, and I'd never tried oysters before, and I ate a dozen oysters to my face, and then a shrimp po' boy and six beers every night.

And gained 25 pounds. I remember. What were you calling them? I was calling oysters salads of the sea. Right. I eat because I'm unhappy. I thought they were like super low-cal, like nothing. But they pack a little punch.

They do. It's kind of like an avocado. It's like a good fat, but maybe don't have a dozen at every meal. Yeah, I mean, like, I'll eat one, whatever, but 40? Yeah, back to this woman who ate 48. Even if she's like, the date went well, let's go back to your place. She's going to be like... You got 48 of those in you? Well, maybe... That can't be good. Well, you know they say it's an aphrodisiac, so maybe she was like, this ugly motherfucker...

This short little fucking troll. Fair enough. I don't know. Do you think that's how that works, though? Like, the more you have, the more horny you get? I think that's what she was thinking. She was like, maybe we get out of here now. He goes like this. Another round. He goes, you want to get out of here? And she was like, oh, shit. Look at those thumbs. Bam, bam, bam. Actually, let's have a few more.

Can I get some questions, Isaac? Can I get another tray of oysters, please? Yeah, I can't do that. I can't do that, man. Just watching people eat those is gnarly. It is. I feel like Dick Tracy, doesn't the bad guy in Dick Tracy fucking just swerve? Yeah, that shit is so nasty. And Isaac, one more round. Dick Tracy, one more round. What's wrong with Dick Tracy?

Isaac, take your shirt off. Isaac just kicked the light over. Oh, my God. Look at that. Isaac is so drunk right now, you can tell. He's non-professional. He should show us his nipples.

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So now we're doing this thing. At the end of the show, we do a hot Q&A session where you guys have these hot, hot cues and we give you some sweet, sweet A's. So Amber wants to know, where is the Wizards merch? That's a great question. And I would guess it's still in another realm. It's a legal thing. Yeah, it's hard to ship. The Wizards sell a lot of merch in other realms. What up, Isaac? You didn't ask for that. Thanks, man. Thanks, dude.

But we will send... These are Isaac's nipples. No? We will send a falcon or an owl through the portal and see if we can get some... We'll send both. Hot, hot, hot, hot. We'll send both. Yeah. So Ashley Chelshire, which I've...

That's not the name. Purple Magic, baby. I heard it. If Workaholics was remade with an all-woman cast, who would you pick to play your character, Amelia Earhart? Yeah. Amelia Earhart, the first woman in flight? Yeah. Huh. Is that right? She did. I think so. She went around the world? Did she go around the world? I think she just flew from, like, England to New York. Or tried to fly from New York to England and didn't make it. She crashed? Transatlantic? Transatlantic, yeah. Transatlantic. Transatlantic.

I'm going with... The first trans woman. First trans woman to cross the Atlantic in an airplane. Yes, points! I'm going with Tiffany Haddish. For you, that's cool. For you? Yeah, yeah. I think she would do really well as Blake. I think she would, too. She'd be like, she ready? Huh. Yours? Who would play me? I don't know, man. It had to be a stone cold thing.

Yeah, I feel like it'd have to be Margot Robbie, otherwise I'm like... Okay. It honestly wouldn't make much sense if it wasn't Margot Robbie for you. 1,000%. And Kyle, I'll answer for you. Go ahead. Roseanne. That's what I was going to say, dude. I was going to say it, and I was like... I love it. Okie dokie. That's easy. Dude, and that's... I love Roseanne. You're just going to be flinging kush balls at us. You're going to be...

No, that was Rosie O'Donnell. That's Rosie O'Donnell. Who did you say? Roseanne Barr-

So you didn't know what was going on there. Your favorite show from your childhood. I heard Rose. You heard Rose. And then my brain immediately went... Let's do fake. Oh, so I don't like that then. Oh, well, that's okay. My other thought was maybe me and Jillian would just like switch roles. That works. No, I don't see that. Oh, wait. Yeah. Do guys get to play the women or what? Or is it fair or is it not? What are we doing? I don't know anymore. Oh, my God.

So Haley Rhodes goes Adam. It's time to shave your beard looks like blonde lady pubes in the light Well, why don't you cry about it? You know what you could do? You know what? Maybe let's take a vote Haley Rhodes Should I shave my beard or not wait you just said should I save my beard? My beard yes, okay, so should I say my beard no

This dude said, should I shave my beard, yes, or should I shave my beard, no? Yeah. Also, you can address this by just putting a little bit of some dye up in that mustache, bro. I'm not going to dye my mustache. That would be so much cooler if you dyed your shit. Well, if I'm going to dye it, I'm going to dye it a cool color. Dude, jet black. Jet black. It would be like punk rock. It would be like blue.

Oh, you would have a blue beard. Or like one side's blue, one side's red. What about let's go? Just camo, a camo beard. That's really cool, and I support that. Do that. I take that, too. I kind of want to start putting it on my hair. Later on in the tour when I know I'm going to shave it soon, it might get a little freaky. Let's go. Who's the honorary member of Chili Peppers that was in like another... Who? What?

Dave Navarro, I think. Navarro. Talk to him about the beard game because I feel like he rolls very strong. I think he had a house remodeling show as well. Dude, Dave Navarro is so cool. Oh, yeah, he's the contractor. What is his band's name? Jane's Addiction? Jane's Addiction. Was he in that? So I was backstage and Jane's Addiction was performing. It was a festival and it was a turning stage and I saw Dave Navarro. He was standing like this. Nice. And then the stage starts to turn and he looks down at his feet and he goes...

And then goes... Yeah. I was like, fucking, even rock stars are dorks, too. This is the way. Lori Williams, she goes, what would your porn name be? Mine? Lori Williams. That's pretty good. I just go with that. I would like mine to be Richard Packington.

That's kind of fun. That is good. Where'd you come up with that? Was there a backstory? I think it was the character of something in film school. I just always liked that name. Richard Packington. Dick Packington. You know what it came from? It comes from your middle name and then the street you grew up on. So I think mine was actually, because my middle name's Richard. That's lucky. And then we lived on Park Glen Court, so it was Dick Parker.

Yeah. Which was kind of dope. Wow, dude. Yeah, I heard it was your first pet in the street you grew up on, so I would be Franklin Berrywood. Franklin Berrywood. That's fucking unreal. Dick Parker, let's go. Yeah, dude. Franklin the hamster, RIP. I miss you. Oh, I'm sorry, bro. So if it's first pet in the street you grew up on, hammy 153rd Street. Damn. Okie doke.

He sounds like he can fuck. Hammy 153, baby. Because that's like a cool nickname for anybody out there on the corner. He's fucking. Hammy 153? What if you did your middle name and Hammy? What does that turn into? So you take the numbers out. Hammy Patrick? Patrick Hammy? Dude, that's fucking not that good. I know. I get it.

If we're doing the rules, I'm Freddie Clinton. Freddie Clinton. That sounds like a politician. Yeah, and if you're not doing the rules? Sir fucks for ten seconds. Yeah. Probably. Classic name. Yeah! So Abby and Sam say... Ten seconds? That's a long time. The cockatier. The cockatier. Abby and Sam say, Kyle, do you feel bad for betraying us? Signed, the Arugalords. Oh.

Wait, the arugula lords? Whoa, this is our first time. Arugula lords. Arugula and overage. Yeah, I do. I do. But I also, I think I am... So explain it. So Kyle is a vegetarian, and then all of a sudden he is, and he's eating meat all the time now. I'm not eating meat all the time. He's making his own meat. I'm not eating meat all the time. I'm like...

Hell yeah, dude. Because eating meat fucking rocks. What did I do? I ate meat at the GLAAD Awards because I was hungry. Come on. I was hungry. That's okay. If you're fucking starving, I don't think that's how it works. You don't just eat meat if you're hungry. I just don't think you understand how hungry I was, and I need to really express that to people. You've eaten meat in front of us now, too, though. The stage is yours. I also ate meat at...

Buffalo Joe's in Chicago. Okay, sick wings, Bob. I eat because of my loppy. That was for my friend Durs. Was that worth it? No, it wasn't. I mean, no, it wasn't. I don't think it was. They were good, though. You could have just licked the sauce. I guess I could start licking meat. Shout out to Buffalo Joe's where you could go and just lick the sauce. No, that's it. We figured it out. I'm not going to eat any more meat. I'm going to lick it.

Is that fair? Is that fair, Aruguloids? Can I lick the meat if it's a customary meat and I want to be a part of it? Can I go? I hope you go to a really nice restaurant and the chef is out there going like, man, I hope they enjoy my meal. Right. And then we're all digging in and he just sees you go. Yeah.

I think that's fair. He would get it. It's just like when I smell like a drink, because I'll smell your guys' liquor every once in a while. By the way, can you stop doing that, please? Yeah, stop, dude. It's fucking weird. Hey, George, before you have a sip of that Coors Light, let me just... It's not... No, I just want to... Because, yeah. Well, I apologize. Early apology for you guys that felt betrayed. So Becky and Elaine would like to know, if you could reboot any TV show or movie and star in it as an ensemble, what would it be? Bananas in Pajamas. Wow. Wow.

Charlie's Angels. Charlie's Angels as us three hunks. Yeah. Very shagged. And Charlie as Margot Robbie. Yes. Charlie with an I. Hot, hot, hot, hot. She'd be into it. The gay team. The A team? It's like the A team, but we're gay dudes. I see that for us. Yes, points. I mean, I think three men and a baby is kind of a way up. I love it when a man comes together. That's a good idea.

Three men and a baby would be a pretty cool fucking TV show. My Two Dads? Yeah. Two and a half men, again. Three and a half? Adam's the half man. Sorry, bro. Sorry, bro. God's fired. Sorry, bro. So Kyle Lambert asks, when is Purple Magic Volume 2 getting released?

Yeah, again, I don't know. Gotta talk to the wizards. And when are the wizards going on tour? And the wizards, they don't want to go on full tour. They got a good thing going in their realm. Yeah. But every once in a while, if a crowd's cool, a portal... Hey, shut up. I said if they're cool. Shut the fuck up. If you're cool. If you're cool, a portal opens up. Maybe. Maybe.

and the wizards perform. But that's not up to us. If people won't shut up, they won't come out. I like that now it's like getting into a cool party. Like, if you're cool, you can come in. But also it's like, they'll come. And then you get in the party and you're like, this isn't that cool at all. This is just dorks singing about...

They're cool. They come from a different place. You just don't understand where they're coming from. So Carly Kramer wants to know, hey Kyle, how did your eye fix itself without glasses? Just curious.

I'm pissed now. You wonky bitch. Yeah, man. I mean, I'll tell you what. You base your whole life on something. She didn't say that. She said I work for an eye doctor. I'm just curious. So which part was fake? The bitch part. Just the bitch. I added that. I added a little spice to it. I don't know. I don't know what happened. I told the story on the pod, but I wore glasses for like fucking 22 years. And then I went to an eye doctor and he said, take them off.

And the glasses or take them off. He was playing bananas in pajamas. Hey, he said, take them off. He sucked my dick so hard my eye went straight. Swear to God, I never had to wear glasses again, dude. Crazy. Dude, I actually do wish that you went to the eye doctor and he goes, well, take them off. And you dropped your pants and he just turns around and was like, oh. I

Well, now I'll suck it. Oh, okay. I think we can do something with this. Huh. I was going to say Lasix, but now we're having Gay-sics. Yes, points! Yes, points! Wow. Yes, I just want to party. Okay. It's science.

Sophie Kramer. I just want to party. So yeah, he just took off the glasses he wore, the corrective glasses he wore. I was getting headaches for the last five to eight years that I was wearing glasses, and I thought it was like, I don't know. I thought it was all the booze I was drinking. I thought it was just hangovers and shit. But I think that the headaches were actually caused by wearing the wrong prescription for a long time.

It is. Yeah. That's what I think was common knowledge. That's like whenever you go, dude, can I see your glasses? And you put them on and you go, I instantly have a headache and you hand them back. But every fucking, well, every lens crafters I went to at the time, lens crafters is trying to sell me goggles. They kept pulling my pants down and fucking me. Goggles. Goggles. Who says goggles? Glasses. Goggles, yeah. Trying to sell you goggles? Yeah. Glasses. He can't help it. And then I think they were just,

Taking my money, man. Let me just say this. You got to upgrade your lifestyle and start going to Pearl Vision, dog. Pearl Vision. So Sophie Kammer... I did just go to the eye doctor. 2020. You don't sound sure about that. I know because it's never been that. That's the best, right? It's getting better. We don't understand it. You're more...

physically attractive than you've ever been. Some guys bloom in their 40s. You're like Benjamin Button, but really slow. But Kyle, you're also not 40 yet. He keeps going, some guys bloom in their 40s. I'm like, you're not 40 yet. I meant to say 30s. I kind of forgot what year it was. Who blooms in their 40s? Sophie Camer says, Adam, when you use your wife's tweezers to pull the stitch out of your foot, did you tell her or is she still using them?

Good question. So Rob C. wants to know. Don't gate! I didn't even hear it. Oh, that's you? How much... She needs to know. What was the question? Listen, Sophie, we don't need to tell our wives everything we do or sterilize their utensils after you pull out a stitch from your foot that was weirdly been in there for 30 plus years. Or wash a fork if you itch your back with it. It's not a big deal.

So weirdly, I saw something that was in my foot and it was just like a little nub. And I was like, I thought it was a splinter. So I got my wife's tweezers and I pulled on it and it just kept coming and kept coming. And I was like, do I have worms living within me? Do not come. And then I go to a foot doctor and he's like, this is a stitch. It looks like it's been there a while. When was the last time you had a surgery on your foot? And I go, 30 years ago. Dude. So that's tight.

So, Rob C.S., Adam, sorry guys, how much PM power medicine does it take to knock you out? Just, I use the regular amount of power medicine, and I use Z-Quil. What I do is liquid Z-Quil. I put it in, I mix it with soda water and a couple splashes of vodka. This is the way. And I call that my night-night juice, and that's totally normal. I've asked a lot of doctors...

if that's totally cool, and none of them were that scared for me. Smoke weed every day. I do like how Adam drinks coffee, but he also, by the time it's the afternoon, drinks something called go-go juice, and then into the evening, you're drinking night-night juice.

Yeah, but that's way better than coffee, then cocaine, then heroin. See, that's what I said. If this were the 80s or the 90s, I would be a full-blown cokehead. But I'm not. So now I drink coffee up until like 2, then I switch to Red Bulls, then I switch to Z-Quil or NyQuil. The thing is, though, if I look at that combo, if you pulled the Red Bulls out, you probably would be all right.

Maybe. I'm still going to send it. Rob wants also to know, will you guys sing the Catherine Zeta-Jones song for us? We can handle that. Yep. Catherine Zeta-Jones, she dips beneath lasers. Oh, she hasn't trapped me.

Sean Connery. Woo. Woo. Woo. It's a big one. It's a big one. Yes. And with that, I think it's time for apologies, epic giveaways, epic slams. What are we doing here? I got an epic giveaway. We still have a whole fucking box of buzz balls. Oh, baby. Epic.

Pause on that. Pause on that, Blake. Pause. Do we got any... This dude's just excited. Well, no, no, not yet. Hang on. Guys, look at you. You're rabid dogs. We love it. You act like you love buzz balls, but we know you just love free stuff. Let me get one big boss right here. Blake, you're not listening. What? Oh.

Don't worry, I have another one. So any apologies or any epic giveaways? I'm sorry to any other legends of ATL that we left off that list. Are there any? Two chains, two chains. Two chains. Like any female legends of ATL? Louder, you. Crime mob, obviously. She said 17 names. Are they from ATL? Adam, get her. Get her, Adam.

Margaret Mitchell. Young jock. Margaret Mitchell. I don't know who that is, but... I think she just said her own name. We love her here. Oh, that's the original Eminem. The red Eminem. That's great. Well, I'm not taking anything I said back here today. I stand by everything I said. Do you have any double downs? I'd like to double down on all the, like...

weird homoerotic bits that we did. Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry to myself for eating way too much before this show. I had an entire... You were grumbling a little bit? No, I just can't move, and for sure it's going to go bad. Uh-oh. I had like a buffalo chicken sandwich.

I had a cheeseburger. Oh my god. I had mac and cheese. Oh. Wow. Is it real? I had a thing of shrimp. Oh. Okay. And then I had like six or seven or eight wings. Yeah, bro. Yeah. Yes, daddy. Wait, is Cardi B from Atlanta?

Nah, she ain't. We're not claiming her. They're not claiming her. Sorry. My bad. Google says it to be true. Well, we apologize for saying her name. What about Ismigo's Atlanta? Yeah. Oh, yeah. There you go. All right. Well, I feel like we hadn't mentioned them yet. We haven't. I'm telling you, Atlanta fucking rules. It's the fucking best. Yeah, but is it better than Omaha? Because we have...

Hey, Atlanta. Is Atlanta better than Omaha? Hey, guys, that's where I disagree with you because we got my buddy Kyle that's from there. Yeah, your friend. Your personal friend. My buddy Kyle's from there. I think maybe it's time for some epic giveaway. Epic. Okay. Let me throw one of those out. Here we go. What are they? Oh, yeah, let's do it. I want to wrap it up so I can throw it far. How do you do that?

We gotta play this. House lights up. Can you get the house lights up on the balcony? We need to see the people in the... Oh, shit. Look at all those motherfuckers. Look at all those motherfuckers. Oh, my God. That's violent. Oh, my God.

Thank you so much, Atlanta. We love you so much. We appreciate you coming out. And that was another episode of This is Important.

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