Ep 161: Live from Cleveland: Things get STEAMY 01:21:29

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I think a steamer is pooping on a chest. You had to have one boy band member who sort of looked like a wolf. Maybe if we fuck hard enough, the heat from our testicles will rise. Let's go. What happened? He hit somebody in the face? What's up, Cleveland? Wow, dude. Oh, my God. Cleveland rocks. South.

So if one of the... Hit him, hit him. Cleveland! I just want to say Cleveland. Yeah, I do. Cleveland! I thought that was like a gladiator from ancient times. Cleveland! Basically. That's LeBron James. That's the key! Yeah, dude. All right. Cleveland! This is for you!

I love that. So if you got hit with the buzz ball, we've got some paperwork for you. Yeah. Sorry about that. Oh, yeah. Admittedly, I'm glad that you do most of the throwing because I don't want to get sued, but...

I had actually never considered it. Yeah, but our fans are cool. They're not litigious. Yeah, like nobody's going to pull up a paperwork. They'll take one on the nose for Blake. Yeah, plus I'm like the one not in movies. So you sue me, I just give you my fucking jersey or something. Which every crew guy that works in this theater was like, sick jersey. Yeah, I feel good. I feel powerful in my Browns jersey. Yeah.

Okay, wow. Clean! Oh, yeah, let's just lean back on these couches. I like our setup here. This is a really... So we're sitting on a psychopathic couch up here. Yeah, these are... The fabric is insane, and Adam, for some reason, somehow loves it. Dude, I love it. I don't know. I feel like it's holding just...

so much history, I guess. If you rub it right, the smells will seep out. You'll smell all of the secrets that this couch has. What's super weird is I don't want to rub this, but I am rubbing it a lot. And the way you're rubbing it is like

Very sensual. Thank you. I'm working on it. This was like the nicest dentist lobby in the 80s in Cleveland. These couches are from there for sure. I see that. When orthodontist was fresh. Did you guys ever fuck your furniture? Wait, like is a pillow considered furniture? No, right? No, that's more of like...

What are pillows? Pillows is... Are they decorative... Accoutrements? Accoutrements? Are they condiments? They're not furniture, but they're definitely... Furniture for your head. Yeah, head furniture. Specifically for your head. Yeah. Well, Kyle, are you saying you fucked a pillow pretty hard? Oh, oh. Um, well... Yeah. No, and Kyle, I get it. We're in front of a few thousand people. Yeah. You're a little nervous, but please admit to us if you fucked your pillow. Well, I mean...

Yeah, I mean, there's a time in every boy's life when you rub on pretty much everything, right? You know what I mean? Sure.

That's my favorite tree. No, but I... I mean, not me, but... And not everything. Not everything. Not me so much, but I knew one of us would have a fun story about fucking a pillow or... I know you have fucked furniture. I haven't fucked furniture. You fucked a couch. Wait. Okay, well, way to out me in front of all my new friends. Wait, how do you know this about him? This is a tale as old as time. No, he fucked this couch while we were doing sound check.

That's why I can't stop. That's why it's sticky over here. No, I didn't fuck this couch. In an episode of Workaholics, I fucked a couch. You did? No, that was just... We were filming. Kyle had the camera out and we cut it into an episode. We had to write around it to save a lawsuit. My friend who... I won't say his full name because I don't... Obviously, he...

Austin Anderson. He, uh, my buddy, he's a comic. He's a very funny guy, but, uh, he used to, he used to fuck his furniture, dude. Really? Yeah, his couch. I would like go to sit on a couch and he's like, oh, Jesus. Like couch in his basement. He's like, don't, not that one. And I'm like, what? And he's like,

I fucked that cushion earlier. You know what, though? I will say, and I don't know if this has happened to you guys, but when you go to a furniture store, I remember walking into Ikea back in the day a lot. And just shoving stuff up your ass? No. It's a Swedish meatball. That's a jerky, boys. Anyway.

I would just get moaners, like, walking around. And I don't know if it was because I was, like, nesting and, like... I don't know what it was. It was, like, biological. Wow. Or if it was just, like, the Swedishness. Wait, how old were you where you felt like you were nesting? Well, when you...

What is buying furniture if it's not nesting? If you're Ikea, it's got to be like college age or something. Yeah, it was like my 20s. Yeah, you're getting your dormitory all set up, right? Dude, you're the oldest person I know. Right? Ikea wasn't around back then. Dude, in your 20s, in the 1920s, when this was built, this theater. Yeah, Durst painted that 100 years ago. When you were in your 20s, you were nesting and buying furniture. I feel like I collected furniture.

I didn't go buy furniture. You're missing my point. I wasn't saying, you know what? I got to do some nesting. I'm going to go to Ikea. I'd go, hey, I just rented an apartment. It's empty. I need furniture. And what I'm saying is the biological, like the little spark that would go off that's like, oh, are you nesting? You probably need to be popping a boner. Right.

Because you're building a family. You're building a home. You were probably way more fertile during that time as well. Yes. I'm trying to go Nat Geo with this. Yeah. Are you following? Are you following, Adam? Are you following? I'm trying to be like Animal Planet about it all and like on the next level. It's not just about the boner. It's about...

The evolution of humans. It's about what caused the boner. The cause of the boner. The cause of boneria. The cause of diarrhea. Dude, what is... The cause of my boner. Wait, if you are constantly getting unwanted boners, is that boneria? Point yourself. Go ahead and give yourself some soft points. Points! I like it. All right.

Points on the board, baby. Yeah, I count it. Limp-wristed swish. Boom! I remember in high school, we would do that a lot. As like a swish, like nailed it. And my dad is like, what the fuck are you doing? Right. Swish, swish, girl! It was just me always being like, hey! My dad was not about it. Known homophobe, my father. Jordan! Jordan!

So I don't think I ever fucked a pillow to completion. I just want to... I'm just going back through the mind and I feel like I don't have a memory of being done. You didn't go to completion? What'd you go to? No, I think I just rubbed up against it with my crotch area. Well, I've done that then too. Well, okay. I mean, sure, dude. I've laid on a couch before. Yeah. And humped it. He hasn't laid on it to completion. Did you hump it? I might have...

Was flexing my butt cheeks and it might have looked like I was humping it? Okay. I might have been flexing butt cheeks and it looks like I'm humping. So there was other people? Was this a performance? Or was this just for you? Yeah, friends and family. Right. Yeah! It was a family reunion. Penny's like, everybody gather around. We want to show you what Adam learned. Just me on a couch at 14 years old.

Adam, mind if I join you on the couch? No! No, Grandpa, this is my spot now. Are you humping that couch? No! No! I'm flexing my butt cheeks and it just looks like that.

Now, when you were humping this pillow and Austin Anderson was fucking his couch. Austin Anderson. Are you doing this in the nude or this is over the pants? I mean, I think it was over the pants. I think I'm just humping with underwear on. You have a memory. You haven't smoked all your brain cells away yet. No, they're not all gone. It was just a hump. It was a hump probably through underwear, I think. I don't remember any part of it. He once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. Yeah, he humped it.

That's cool. What kind of underwear are we wearing? Is this like silk boxers? Because if you... Every guy went through like a one or two or maybe more, you freaks, silk boxer phase. Dude, I wore my silk... Where you just got one pair and it was like...

little while I didn't I went through a a very specific Joe boxer with a lot of smiling faces on my Joe boxer boxer briefs were huge remember those yeah did those feel good and my old navy shit you guys fuck with some old navy boxer briefs no oh dude you're not midwestern huh no I'm not I did have silk boxer because this crowd fucks with some old navy boxer whoa wow yeah they do hey not cool the year was 2002 2002

Dude, I just threw out like maybe six months ago, turn of the millennium.

Boxers. Oh, wow. That it was 99 with a slash through it, 2000, and then fireworks on the boxers. Right. And Chloe, my wife, was like, what the fuck are these? Yeah. And I'm like, they're art, babe. Yeah. Vintage. You gotta frame those. Put them on grailed. You had Y2K boxers? Yeah, dude.

That's fucking cool. You should have gave those to me. That sounds cool. I know. You could have resold them. Those would go for a fortune on Etsy. I fucking blew it, dude. You did blow it. But you never had silk boxers? You never had those?

No, I don't think... If I did, I'd ruin them immediately. So you had a pair? I had them. I wore them until there was holes in them. A pair of silk boxers? No, that's like what emperors wear. Thank you. That's what you think, and then you go to TJ Maxx and you go, oh, these are $9. Yeah. It's not a big deal. I think I had a fucking money bag. Yeah. Dude, $9? How old are you wearing these silk boxers? Are you buying your underwear out of your lawn mowing money?

No, like your mom's buying your underwear. My mom in a million years wouldn't buy me $9 boxers when I was in 7th grade.

She'll be like, we're going to Old Navy. It's going to look like a goddamn tablecloth. And you're going to have them for 25 years. Dude, I remember when I had the silk boxers, we'd walk around the house in our boxers all the time. My dick kept popping out. Yep, that's what happens. And by the way, I know you're feeling left out, so you're hammering hard with the Old Navy and it's working, but I'm...

I'm seeing through it all, and if you want, I'll get you some silk boxers. I would love that. On our next pod. By the time we make it to Columbus, I want to be feeling that silk seeping into my butthole. You should. You should.

So after my dick kept popping out, I asked my mom to sew them all up. So my mom sewed up all my boxers for me so my dick wouldn't flop out. While I'm wearing them, I mean. You constantly joke about how tiny your penis is. That's the joke. Oh, my God. Okay, so flop maybe is... Because you're saying...

I know, I shouldn't have said flop. Flop is a big word. That's a hefty word. My dick kind of just poked out. Oh, okay. Yeah, the nub wiggled free. A little peek? A little peek at the little birdie house? Mom, stop looking. Sew him up. Wait, mom, stop looking? Yeah, because it was around the house. That's why I got embarrassed.

Well, usually I wore shorts over the boxers when I was in the kitchen. Not my family. No, neither here. Really? I mean, I didn't have sisters, so it was just like dudes in underwear and dicks are flopping out. So your mom is just surrounded by little boy dicks all day long? Yeah. Flopping and poking and doing the damn thing. She's like, please put your fucking baby cock away. No. Yeah, she sewed them up.

No, I feel like mom... I was about to say, like, moms are cool with cocks. Yeah, that's why we're here.

That's how we got here. Yeah, give it up for moms who love pounds. Let's hear it for the moms. The best part about this podcast is this is our first time doing it live, right? So it's so fun going, doing it live, and looking out into the crowd and seeing the people that obviously listen to the podcast, and then seeing the people that just knew that the Workaholics guys were going out on tour. We're doing live!

And they're like, what the fuck is happening? Yeah, what's going on? There's like 33 masons up there that are like, what the fuck is happening in our temple? They came out and just talked about fucking the couch that they're sitting on for like the first 20 minutes. Yeah. I suppose if you were going to fuck a couch, it's a good couch to fuck, though. Hang on a second. What do you got? A fart came out of it from the past? Dude right here in the light jeans, come feel this.

Yeah. Okay. Feel this. Why? What did he say? Tell me if you would ever want to fuck this couch or not. I think if there were a couch, I would fuck this. Dude, how funny would it be? So soft. Oh, man. No, it's not. This dude's trying to get points, and you're not getting them. By the way, is this a cool look, by the way?

This guy's nesting so hard right now. He keeps his silk underwear folded right on the top of that pillow. Dude, you look like a super unenthusiastic pizza man. Dude, the only disappointment of this couch is I wish when you lifted this up there was like

A 1973 penthouse. Right. Oh, yeah. Club magazine. Oh, with a mega bush. A club magazine? I said club magazine. Is that a thing? Yeah, club is a thing. What's club? Club was expensive. This was the silk underwear of porno. Well, you know, the Endurus are funnier than them. They were like the tinier magazines, right? They were like a little tinier. I thought they were just like way more pornographic. They were like the size of a boy's life magazine.

They're like a Highlights Magazine size. Why? I thought that they, weren't they like kind of shorter and stubby? Like a little zine? Short porno zine? I'm short and stubby. I kind of liked them because I'm like, this is me as a magazine. Good. There you go. I think that was one of my first, I remember being at a, we talked about this the other night, but I was at a convenience store with my mom, and for whatever reason, it was just eye level, the little magazine, and I opened it up, and it was just hardcore porno. Yeah.

When I was like seven years old and I'm like, I'm a changed man. Your boobs are huge. What do you guys think? Remember how they had something called Penthouse Letters where it was a lot of like erotic, like you had to read? Erotic fiction? I'm like, who's waiting for this? Dude, I loved them. Yeah, I'm a big fan of erotic fiction as well. Huge erotic fiction fan.

The pillow humpers. This checks out. I remember when I got into erotic fiction because the internet wasn't fast enough yet. Adam, you still with him on this?

The internet wasn't fast enough. You couldn't really watch movies. You couldn't do that. So it was like, well, check out this. And it was too loud. And you're in your parents' basement. And it's just like, as soon as they hear like. Wait, you're forgetting the fact that like just magazines with pictures exist. It doesn't have to be words in a magazine. But then there's evidence that your mom will find. Yeah, I don't know. Oh, I forgot. Moms can't read. They're too busy dealing with all the little dicks in their house. My bad. Goodbye.

Dude, you know I tried to write erotic fiction for a minute in college. Yes. Yeah. At OCC...

Our community college that Blake, Kyle, and I met at, or I met them. No, we met each other. We met you as well. Yes, we met each other, but you guys didn't meet. Oh, no. Blake and I already knew each other. I don't know what's going through our whole fucking history right now. I'm just saying we met each other. Correct. And there was a jobs lab area. Remember that? Like a job fair? Yeah. It was like a lab that you could go in, and they just had shit all over the walls saying you can...

mow yards or clean pools or do whatever. Shoot for the stars. This isn't a community college. It's not a community college. Yeah. And one was you could write erotic fiction for Penthouse magazine. And I'm like, fucking sign me up. I wrote two stories and one story, it was, one story was you're on a hot air balloon and

The guy falls out. The guy who's working the gas. Oh, damn. And so now you're just floating into the abyss and you don't know how to land it, so you just start fucking. Nobody's fucking. All right, time to fuck. Whoa, dude. It's a pretty good story. It's very exciting. Nobody fucked. They just fell out of a hot air balloon. No, no, no. They were fucking. It's like, grab my dick. It

Should we learn how to fly this thing? It can't be that hard. No, no, no, no, no, no. Let's fuck. The fire went out. We have to heat the air with our bodies. Maybe if we fuck hard enough, the heat from our testicles will rise. Our testicles for the record. And now

Hang on. Plot twist. Our testicles. Our testicles. You never specified what it is. Yeah. No, you do. Well, yeah. I guess that's right. I didn't specify. Penthouse Magazine. A pretty hetero magazine. You can also just go the heat from our bodies, you know. Our testicles. Cleveland! Cleveland Rats. Cleveland!

Look at that big dick up there. Look at that big dick up there. Yeah, I saw it. Cleveland! Oh, yeah. And then you had to write two stories. You had to write like another. You had to have like a little sample size. A portfolio. A portfolio. So the other one I wrote was a couple was jet skiing.

And the jet ski throttle got stuck and it's going full speed. Dude, what is going on? And then they just started fucking. So I have a question about the... I have a question. Are your stories ending with and then they started fucking? Or are you...

Describing. Aren't you describing the fucking... It wasn't that... Yeah, you're right. They weren't that good because it was mostly just like a life or death situation. Right. And then they fuck. And then they fuck. See, I would not have liked this. Yeah, you're right. There's a reason they didn't accept. I didn't get paid. Right. I wrote these stories on my fucking dude you got Adele and sent them off, never heard back. Right. That's crazy that they never reached back out.

Yeah.

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Finding the right news podcast can feel like dating. It seems promising until you start listening. When you hit play on Post Reports, you'll get fascinating conversations and sometimes a little fun too. I'm Martine Powers. And I'm Elahe Azadi. Martine and I are the hosts of Post Reports. The show comes out every weekday from The Washington Post. You can follow and listen to Post Reports wherever you get your podcasts. It'll be a match, I promise. ♪♪

Do you remember Dell computers? Yes, I do. Of course. I think they're still around, right? Are they? Are you thinking of Gateway? Because we've talked about Gateway many times. Is Gateway the same as Dell or not? No. Gateway is Dell.

Oh shit, we've hit that part of the show. Okay, wow. No, Gateway was the cow. Dell was the dude who was like, dude, you got a Dell. And you're like, oh fuck, maybe I do get a Dell. That guy's hair is super hard. And then he was caught with like a half roach on him after like a fucking DUI or something. And then he was axed. But he was making like a million bucks a year as the dude you're getting a Dell guy. Dude, just because... Wow.

He had a roach? I'm gonna cum. He had like... Do not cum. A little butt on him. That's fucked up. That sucks for that bro. My Dell computer, I remember I was... You don't remember Limewire? I was downloading so many... Of course. Yeah. Of course. Kazaa. So many illegal things on Limewire that I opened up my Dell one time and a skull and crossbones were on there. And the skull and crossbones, like little skull goes...

This dude knew. And then it was like a frying sound. A what sound? It was like frying, like bacon. Oh, okay. And then I'm like, it wouldn't start again. I took it to the fucking Best Buy, whatever, Genius Bar or whatever they... The Geek Squad. The Geek Squad. Took it to the Geek Squad and they were like, dude, you need another Dell. This kind of sounds like one of your pornos, you, right? Yeah. Yeah.

And then we started fucking. And then you guys both whipped your testicles out. And the heat from our testicles fixed the laptop. There it is. That's all it takes sometimes. It's your hard drive. It's not hard enough. Yeah, dude. Your software is too soft. Yes, points.

Dude, that drop's so hard. I don't know what that drop is. I don't know what that one is. Oh, I think it's, um... That's like Earth, Wind, and Fire or something. Hit it again. It feels good on the stage. Yeah, it kind of shakes your testicles a little bit up here, doesn't it? It really does shake it, man. I wonder if we have the horniest podcast. Oh, yeah, well, that's good. That's a good thing. Being a hornball rocks.

These are horn balls dude when I was looking up I was like trying to look up Cleveland facts because I've never been to Cleveland right

And I was like, yeah, this is a cool city. I got to figure some stuff out about the city. And Hot Pockets sent us a bunch of shit because they're evidently from Cleveland. And I love Hot Pockets, dude. So they sent us a bunch of stuff. And I was like, oh, yeah, Hot Pockets is from Cleveland. So I'm looking it up. And then it was like I looked up Hot Pockets Cleveland. And then the second thing up was Cleveland Steamer.

Oh, the fucking Cleveland Steamer, dude. I'm glad you brought this up. Whoa. Swag like Ohio. What's going on here? What's going on here in Cleveland that the Cleveland Steamer is...

Dude, how dope is it that you have the craziest, weirdest, kinkiest sex move named after your city, dude? A steamer is pooping. Explain to me what you think a steamer is, Kyle. I think a steamer is pooping on a chest. Well, that's a Cleveland steamer. A steamer would just be the poop.

But a Cleveland Steamer is the act of pooping on the chest. Wait, so if I did that in California, it'd be called a California Steamer? No, don't do that. I just wanted to clear that up. Don't do that, LeBron James. I don't want to take that. I'm checking. I was just checking. Boo. Boo. I was fucking checking. Cleveland! I apologize. Look at how...

Okay, feel the energy that's coming off the crowd right now, Kyle. I feel it. They claim the Cleveland Steamers so goddamn hard here. Yes. Dude, what the fuck? Literally, you got a chance to rename your baseball team. Why weren't you the Steamers?

Wow. Best opportunity. Huge swing and miss. And so prom weekend, when you guys go away to the lake house for the weekend, like American Pie style, instead of just losing your V-card, is it all like, I think we're going to do the Cleveland steamer. I think Sinead is going to finally let me steam one.

Maybe vice versa. I think I'm ready. I'm ready to see him. It's up to Sinead. Honey, will you go to prom with me?

What is up with these fucking extravagant promposals that kids are doing now? Kids are organized about love now. Yeah. I saw one the other day. They're getting the whole football team to hold up signs behind some girl and then she turns around and it's like, will you go to prom with Skylar? Yes. And she's going viral? No, it's a high school kid, so now they'd be called like, Brayden. Right. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Kids have cool names now. Legolas. It's either Brayden or Legolas. Legolas. One of those two. Yeah, but it's just an amputee kid. Right. He has no legs. Legolas. Yeah. Points? Yeah, that's a point. And she has to go to prom with him. Yes!

Because if Legolas asks you to prom, you turn to your friends, you're like, one second, what the fuck do I do? You're like, I don't know, how's he going to Cleveland steamer you? He'll figure it out. He's actually really good at it. Let's roll.

He just does this. Yeah. Right. Well, that's the thing. That's the thing when you're... Oh, look at the swirl. Oh. The swirl at the end was unreal. Reading what the Cleveland Steamer was, you do have to rub. It's not just the shitting. No, no, no. It's the shitting and then the... It's the sitting. And the sitting.

And the smearing? And the smearing. No. You know what? That's what I read, dude. That's where I draw the line. I don't understand that part. You have to smear it around and smush it? Oh, that's the part you don't understand? Yes. Because is that like steaming it? Exactly. Does it release the steam from the inside or what? I thought just laying it was enough. Oh, fuck. I'll look it up.

Yeah, look, do you guys care if we take 10, 11 minutes to really figure this out? We're gonna fall down a hole. Drink amongst yourselves. Tend to that man who got the buzzword. Cleveland Steamer. A sexual act involving defecating on someone's chest, then sitting in it and rolling back and forth like a steamroller. Okay.

So it's not the steam coming off your hot poo. Oh, I always thought it was a hot poo steam.

And that's where you're wrong. I am wrong. And that's why when you were kind of calling it a California steamer, and the audience sort of was turning on you, now you see why, because you didn't even know what the fuck you were talking about. I spoke way out of pocket. We were saying this in the last show before, it turns out it's super educational. You guys are going to learn shit tonight, which is pretty cool. No, literal shit. You're going to learn shit. Who's got time for the grind and the steam out, though?

As soon as you're dropping a log, it's time to go. Right? You help her up. Or him. And she has to kind of like tilt over the bowl. Right? I don't think that you do it in a bathroom. No, you get to it. You get to it. You help her up so she's like... And you support the back and then you help her pitch over. It just looks like the limbo. That's the cleanest... Exactly. Exactly.

And you're supportive. And you're supportive. No, but that's not happening if you're doing the steamroller part. That's not happening. I know, that's what I'm confused. Blake only imagined he's the one getting shit on. He did. He did. Yeah. I mean, it's not totally have to be the girl receiving the shit, right? No, not at all. That's not the Cleveland way.

That's the Columbus steamer. Yeah. Do we like Columbus or do we not like Columbus? Wait, wait, sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I did that wrong. Do you like Columbus? Swag like Ohio. Or do you not like Columbus? It sounds like they're kind of chill with Columbus. They're fine with him. We're going there tomorrow. We're trying to engage.

Dude, we just drove past... It's a bagel. We just drove past the stadium today. I totally forgot that you guys are the Guardians now. That completely escaped my mind, dude. And do we like the Guardians? I'm just kidding. Don't. Okay, great. That is a question because the Indians was a cool name and then you just went with the Guardians. It was almost like you...

Catch the Indians? Yeah, what's the Indians part? I feel like they're two different words.

Well, they are. Yeah, but you can pick another, like Blake was saying earlier, the spiders, I guess, were... Yeah, that was on the table. That was on the list? I'm sorry, the Cleveland spider. Yeah, and then you could have Tom DeLonge be like, spiders! Let's go! That's the tightest part about that, but I don't like the name. That's one thing. You could have Spider-Man. Yeah, no, but mostly... The Durs. You guys could call them the Durs. I guess that's cool.

Yes, by dirt. When I was in high school, we changed from the Indians to the Patriots when I was in high school. These are all good things. Fuck off. It's fine. It's good. We changed to the Patriots...

And I was trying to get it so we weren't the Patriots, and I wanted to call us the Rough Riders, dude. Wait. You're talking DMX? Rough Riders? Yes. Were you going to spell it R-Y-D-

Yes. Yes. Okay, cool. Also, R-U-F-F. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's not how you spell R-U-F-F. And Riders was R-Y-D-E-R. Is it Ruff Riders because dogs say Ruff? Yes. And T-Max fucking rocks, dude. And if you change it to Ruff Riders, you guys can call yourself the Durs. And we got right to the finish line, and then it was right before they were going to approve it, and then the principal came to us. I was on student council because I was a fucking dork, and...

She was like, the principal was like, I know why you guys wanted to change it to the Rough Riders, because it's a condom. What? Oh, really? She thought the Rough Riders were the condom. Yo, I got to see a picture of this principal, just full dude with a ponytail, like the glasses that get dark when they go outside. And he's like, oh, I know it's about the Rough Riders. Dude, traded belt. Transition lenses are for sure. I know about these condoms. That's a Rough Rider. Yeah.

Yeah. I've never heard of that in my life. Yeah. Also, it's not a popular condom. I'm like, no, it's not. It's about DMX and they ride ATVs. Trojan man. And they bark a lot. It's fucking cool. How sick would it be if our... It'd be cool for the football team, obviously. Right. But imagine fucking...

Girls gymnastics. Yeah. And they're coming out doing fucking handspring. Everyone starts calling them the muff divers, the muff riders. Oh, right. You know, like... Muff riders. Also, it's a slippery slope. Also, that would be pretty dope. The muff divers? Yeah.

The Muff Riders? Yeah. Muff Riders. Muff Riders is sick. Yeah. But then your principal comes out. I feel like I would be way more supportive of the girls' gymnastics team. Then your principal comes out and is like, whoa, I know why you guys did that. That's my nickname around town, the Muff Riders. It can't, it's a nickname, it's a nano.

My principal says that's a Nano in Omaha, Nebraska. I mean, he knows what the fucking Rough Riders are. And that's a Nano, my brothers. Absolutely not. I know what that is. I'm going to get in my Fiero and drive off. What, you guys are going to be the Bareback Riders, huh? That's what you think? So we saw the list of the pitches of the new names. It's the Rough Riders, the Bareback Riders, Rough Riders.

The Buttfuckers. And the Muff Divers. We're going to go with Patriots. We're going with Patriots. Patriots works for me. Yeah, we're going to just use an existing football team. Pretty standard issue. But that is one that can squash anybody who's like, this is bullshit, we're changing the fucking name, it's been this five, four, five, and then someone's like, Patriots. They go...

oh, fuck yeah. Fucking strong. Pretty strong. I like that actually. But then, yeah, what sucks about that is like you can't even say that you don't like it because they're like, oh, are you not a patriot? And also this was the year, like this was like 2001. That's what I'm saying. You needed, yeah, patriotism. You had to be fucking a patriot. Full swing. Full swing. The flag on the car. You couldn't, there was not a whiff of not being a patriotic. I was like,

You know, I was like 17, 18 years old. I was like, do I get a bald eagle tattooed on my chest? Right, right. Is this the time that I do that? We had a flag on the minivan. You did? For sure, yeah. I think we had a jack ball on the minivan. Well, sure, that's Cali way. But the flag was the size of the screen of your laptop. Now...

When someone has a flag on their car, it's like a fucking giant... It's like 12 by 12. It's a sail. The car can't even drive. No, the flag is driving the car. The wind is pulling. Right, it's a sail. Actually, I'm back on board. Okay, there we go. Hey, check this out. Put it in neutral. The flag is so big that...

Instead of electric, we use wind-powered. Yo, that'd be so tight. A sail car? Yeah, you're just constantly pulling ropes. Yeah. Swing it around! Sorry, I'm late. Dude, you just ride in a fucking Mad Max-mobile. Yeah. Adam's the dude with the guitar from Fury Road. And you're like, I don't know why he's here. It's growing on me. I like it. Just give him another fucking monster energy.

No, dude, I'm sugar-free Red Bull. I respect myself now. Good for you, Adam. I'll kiss now. Yeah, I drink about six to eight cups of coffee in the morning.

And then I segue to a couple Diet or Dr. Pepper Zeros. Okay. Okay. They're good. They're real tasty. And then later on the day when I'm thinking about working out, I'll drink two to three Red Bulls and then maybe some pre-workout. Dude, two to three Red Bulls. I haven't had a Red Bull in so long. And then I coast that through dinner. I don't have any caffeine. Uh,

And then I will either mix a little vodka soda and put a little Z-Quil in it. Yeah. To go to sleep. That's a lot of beverages. Are you just pissing constantly? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. The palpitations. Always pissing. Oh, wow. I just had a sip of this. This is throwing me back, dude. I haven't had a Red Bull in forever. Really? Dude, chug it. Welcome. I'm not going to chug that. There's no way. Slam it, bitch.

What the fuck? I'm 40 years old. I don't do this like him. My heart would explode on stage. It wouldn't. And you're not 40. You keep aging yourself up, dude. We're the same age. We're 39. I don't think there's... Yeah, but I don't think there's anything wrong with rounding up, especially when I'm talking about heart attacks. Kyle is literally the only person I've known who wants to be older. Oh!

He's always been that. We were like 23 years old, and he's like, I'm basically 30. Right. No, we're not. I don't know what that is. Why? I'm going to go Whittlewood. Bye. Bye.

You just like... I feel like that's old. You like senior activities now. Like, dude, the most I saw you light up was on the airplane. You were talking to that grandma with the flower in her hair. Kyle was fucking hitting it off with this grandma. She was cool. But she was also a little bit annoying, but she was cool, yeah. She like legit...

touched your face. She did. You were talking about gardening and she was like, show me your Roma tomatoes. I was watching Pickleball. I was watching Major League Pickleball on the plane and she kept trying to watch it with me. She was trying to watch Pickleball with me. I think she was trying to fuck, bro. I didn't catch those vibes, was she? Yeah, I was watching from behind and I saw it.

Watching Fumble. It was a nice come up. She sat right between us and she was like this tall. It was perfect. Dude, you guys should have Eiffel Towered her in the bathroom. Durs. Durs. We should have. Missed opportunity. Imagine you throw it all away to double team a grandma. Man. Dude, it's the road. Anything goes, man.

Dude, did you guys see... Make a grandma. Someone really liked that when you said that. It's the road. Anything goes. Some girl was like... Yes! Not really how it works. Fuck me, Blake.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I don't know about you guys, but I feel this year has gone by so quickly. I became a father this year. Can you believe that, guys? Huge. And the baby that I named Bo is growing bigger every day. Let me tell you, life goes by like that, so fast. So it's important to take a moment to celebrate your wins and make adjustments for the rest of the year. I agree. And therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next decade.

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Did you guys see the video? It was a viral video of this guy. He was going to propose to his girlfriend as soon as she came out of the bathroom. On the airplane. And then she goes in the bathroom so everyone's filming. She's going to come out and he's going to drop on one knee and he's standing there. And then she's just blowing it the fuck up. I saw that. That's not real. I know. I saw that and I was like, this is so fucking...

It's fake. It's not real. What do you mean? You can't hear anything on an airplane, let alone somebody in the bathroom. No, dude. See, since my hip and back are all fucked up, I'm always in the little front area doing my stretches. And then I hear people fucking blowing the bathroom up, dude. No. Really? Yeah, if you're sitting right there, you hear it. So anytime you're shitting in the airplane bathroom, the stewardess hears all of that. Dude, that's...

I didn't know that. I wish she would turn the microphone on and just put it up to the door. Right, the PA. She's like, everyone take your seats. Take your seats. Oh my God. Oh no, blood again. Zoink. I mean, I feel like, yes, you'd hear that. You would hear somebody really loudly saying, oh no, blood again. Yeah. That checks out. Scat talk by This Is Important.

I thought that was fake too. It's fake. It's gotta be. It is. Can you not trust anything anymore? I don't think you can trust many videos online. I assume everything is fake until I watch it 69 times. I have to watch it many times over to go, okay, that contusion seems real.

See, that's why I only like to watch teenagers fighting in classrooms. Right. Because that seems real, dude. That is real. That's real. And these teens, they don't give a fuck anymore. Oh, dude. Like, there was never really fights against the teachers in my high school. Maybe, like, one time someone, like, threw a book or something. Now kids are just throwing down with the teacher. And the teacher is like, oh, you want to go?

That is wild. We've covered this. There was a fight at my old middle school that involved 40 children and they broke a security guard's arm.

It's not that funny. We said it was peak entertainment. Dude, Adam, think of it. You would have been like, hey, we're the Rough Riders, and the principal's like, no, we're not going to be that. And you're like, then I'm going to beat your fucking ass. Yeah, dude. You want to go? We're the fucking Rough Riders, buddy. Yeah, and then I cue up. And we all fucking revolt, dude. We all fuck and revolt. We fucking revolt.

Dude, the teacher's like, this was the weirdest day of school ever. Yeah, he goes to his orgy after school that he goes to regularly. You would not believe the day I've had. Now I'm about to dive in your muff, baby. We're doing Star Trek today, right?

Cleveland Steamer? Dude, live long and prosper. Dude, Blake told me something. Prosper. Dude, I did not know that Bone Thugs-N-Harmony was from Cleveland. Hell yeah, dude! What? That's big. Dude, that's the coolest. That's really big. Like, I love Bone Thugs. Is Uncle Charles here? Yeah, is Uncle Charles in the building? I think he did die like 10 years ago. It was like documented, right? No.

And Crazy Bone, our hopes and our dreams, our wishes and prayers are with Crazy Bone, who's in a hospital right now. Crazy Bone. Dang. What's wrong with Crazy Bone? He's in a hospital. He's sick. He hasn't called me, so I don't know the details, but... Which is crazy. Can you name all of the Bone Thugs? Because to me, I was an ancillary fan. I was mostly listening to... DMX. DMX.

Mostly to DMX and 311 at this point in my life. What's the original? But to me, when I think of Bone Thugs, there's 48 members. Well, that's Moe Thugs. That's Moe Thugs, right? Wasn't there Moe Thugs as well? What?

Can you name all the... I think I can. Absolutely. Go ahead. Busy. Busy Bone. Lazy. Lazy Bone. Wait, there was a Lazy Bone? Yeah. Let it happen. Crazy. Yeah. Crazy Bone. And then, of course, everyone's favorite...

Wish. Wishbone. Oh, Wishbone. Wishbone. There was, what, five, four? There might be one more kind of like how the three stooges have, like, shemp sometimes. Yeah. What's the other one? Shempbone. Pushbone? Crushbone? Crushbone?

One flesh. Fleshbone. Fleshbone, of course. Fleshbone, yes. That's a good name, fleshbone. That is. That one's kind of horny. So I like that most of them rhymed. Most of them was like, oh, if you're going to be lazy, I'll be crazy.

I'll be busy. You're always so busy. That's perfect. That makes a lot of sense. And we know you are crazy. And then Flesh is like, I'm doing my own fucking thing. Fuck y'all. Fleshbone. I think I've said this on the pod before, but I know exactly where I was geographically when I heard Thug

Thuggish Ruggish Bone for the first time. Really? It's the Thuggish Ruggish Bone. I think I was in seventh grade. I was in music class, and the music teacher was like, okay, kids, you can bring in your tape and play at the beginning of the class, because I want to hear your music. That's cool. That's a good teacher. And so she brought, Charles Evans brought in his tape, and he cranked it on her boombox all the way up, and played Thuggish Ruggish Bone, and

And it just destroyed her speakers. Like, for the rest of the semester or whatever, you'd bring in your, like, what the fuck ever, and it would be like... But when Thugger Shrugger's Bone came out, I was like, everything has changed. Oh, yeah.

It still fucking goes. It still fucking goes. And I'm not just saying it still fucking goes a bunch of times to tee you up to play it. Oh, you want me to play it? Because it does still fucking go. It still fucking goes. Do you think it still fucking goes? It still fucking goes. I guarantee it still fucking goes. There's absolutely no fucking way it doesn't still fucking go. Dude.

Dude, it still fucking goes. It does still fucking go, doesn't it? It's good weed smoking music. I feel like I did that a lot. I would drive around in my car, hotbox the car. Oh, here it is. It starts off so sweet. It's the thugger, swagger, swagger. We gotta smoke some fucking weed about this. Jesus.

Un-fucking-bone. Where is this woman? Is she a bone? Does she have... Lady bone. Lady bone? Does she have a bone? Lady boner. Yeah. She has a bone name? We were joking, as we do backstage, we're always joking. We're always having such a good time. What would our Bone Thugs-N-Harmony names be? Okay. Oh, dude. Yeah, okay. I

I feel like I'd be Buzz Bone. Just kind of on the rise. Buzz Bone, okay. Buzz Bone. Not really getting paid to say that, but okay. Should be getting paid way more to say buzz balls constantly and throw them out. But you're not? Yeah. Made a bad deal? I guess I would be like Mercedes Bone. Whoa, good idea.

Maybe I get a car out of it. I don't know. Mercedes-Benz. I feel like I would just go, you know, keep it on brand and go boner. Boner. Right. You know. That's it.

I feel like that's expected. Why is none of them named Boner? Right. That's a good one. But Fleshbone is kind of like a boner. Or Vascularbone. Yeah. Bainybone. Bainybone. Bainybone and Ice Cube. That's got a ring. I feel like I'm stuck. I was thinking maybe my initial thought was Picklebone. But I think that's a... That's a good first thought. Yeah, that was a fucking wah, wah, wah, even in my own head. Picklebone? Picklebone?

And then my other one's not even better than that. It's just Bone Bone. Yeah, maybe Pickle Bone. I'm sorry. I don't hate Pickle Bone. Do you hate Bone Bone? I hated both of them, if I'm being honest.

You fucking asshole. Dude, I'm kind of into Bone Bone. When you said hate Bone Bone, I was like, well, hate's a strong word. And then I was like, I really don't like it, though. Bone Bone, I think Bone Bone's cool. Bone Bone is like, I'll be real. I do want to hear a verse by somebody named Bone Bone. Because it's like incoherent, but maybe like the best. I feel like that's like... Okay, freestyle rap. Bone Bone.

Bone, bone, got the mic, and he's got the mic, and he's bone, and he's made out of bones, and he's a skeleton. That's what I got. I pass it back to you. Made out of bones, and he's skeleton. That took a lot of fucking guts. Thank you, guys. That took a lot of guts. Yeah. To me, it seems like bone, bone would be like only able to say the word bone, so it would be like bone, bone.

It's like a dinosaur. It's like a Not the Mama situation. Bone ball. That's how every song starts. You know how like Scott Storch would be like, Scott Storch. Yep. Or like, you know, whoever producer will like it. DJ Khaled. Yeah, DJ Khaled will always scream. Another one.

Another one. It would be bone, bone. Well, actually, doesn't one of their songs start like that? Bone, bone, bone, bone. Doesn't one of their songs start that way? Yes, it does. Yes. Tell me what. It's a funny story. They were calling their friend Bone Bone, who he was running late. They're like, bone, bone, bone, bone, bone, bone, bone. Tell me what you're going to do. I think we're going to need some drinks out here, buddy. Oh, yeah. Isaac, can we get some beers on the motherfucking stage?

When there ain't nowhere to hide. No.

Our manager Isaac. Isaac Horn, everybody. We're trying to get him to take his shirt off. If you guys tear hard enough, he might show us your nipples or your belly button. Your belly button. Show us your nips. Your belly button. Whip it out. Whip it out. Whip it out. Your boobs are huge. Bummer. He's fired. Poke it. Your boobs are huge. Don't stop.

What was that part? Until we filthy rich and on top. There we go, baby. I love that shit. Should we do some hot topics? Hot topics. Welcome to the mall. This is hot topics. Mall talk. Hit me with it. Okay. Yeah, I got the drop, baby. Hot topics. Diane Feinstein, the longest serving female U.S. Senator in history, dies at 90 years old. She died? No.

What the hell? Spoiler alert, dude. Wow. That's an old lady. Oh, well, good for her. Important to note that we did not give her flowers. I don't know if I've ever talked about this woman before. Very much important to note that.

Do we... Look, was she still at the job? She was, right? They were just kind of motoring her around? She died in the chair. This has to stop. I don't know what the... You know when you go to renew your driver's license and you have to do an eye exam? If you can't see, they're like, you don't get to drive. There's got to be some sort of test. There has to be. And I think I'm the guy to be in charge of that. I'm going to take the alternate take. I love it.

I want everyone to be 112 years old. This is good. And they're all just like... This is good. Dude, Adam. I don't think women should speak without being spoken to. Was that her take? That was Diane's take. That was Mitch McConnell or whoever that guy is. Oh.

Mitch McConnell. Mr. Freeze. Mr. Freeze. Points that. He's in the new Batman. Politically charged points. I heard. Self-charged.

I heard he's in the new Batman. And what's cool about us, we know so much about politics. Yeah, dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Mr. Freeze. Fucking Joe Biden. Who else? Fucking Biden, dog. Fucking legislative branch. Branch. Yeah, dog. Judicial branch. Judicial branch. Trump. Trump. He's won. Ross Perot. Air Force One. 45. Yeah.

I voted one time. I did see a funny meme of Trump, though, because you know his little dance when he gets on stage when everyone's hyping him up? What does it look like? He does this. He goes, he goes. Right. Oh, he does? Double dicks up? Yeah, it's very weird. And so the meme just said, like, when I'm jerking two dudes off at the same time. Right. And it's just a montage of him going. Dude. That got you? Honestly. Honestly. He might have earned my vote with that. Adam, I would read that porno, though.

Okay. So this is where I gotta dip back in. You know what? I bet now I could push one past the penthouse editor-in-chief. Well, if you keep describing it. Wait, the guy from Workaholics is writing erotic fan fiction? That checks out. Don't describe it just at all. And then they fuck. And then they fuck. Wait, but serious question. Gunned ahead, would you rather get a handjob from Trump or Biden? Ooh. Ooh.

Huh? Wait, what? Gun to my head? You guys were like super quick on that to be like, for sure Trump, for sure Trump. You don't think Biden's like shaky hands would be like an extra shock effect? I feel like Biden's going to do a better job.

No, I don't think so. With those glasses on, the aviators? It'll be softer. It'll be softer. No, I think I disagree because Trump hasn't worked in a garden. I feel like Biden might care for a flower somewhere. Okay. That's what I want. I feel like he's scooping shit. He's got calluses. Oh. Trump is just holding pens. He's just signing shit. He's got soft hands. He's got those soft hands. I don't want him to sign shit with my dick, though, dude.

But then you get the brown tanning, whatever he's got going on on his hands, all over your dick. Extra lube. It makes a lot of sense. In sync. And that's our thoughts on politics. I like our politic talk is, which major politician do we want to jerk us off?

Yeah, but like, it's the same. Everyone's like, people vote about who they want to have a beer with, right? And I'm kind of just going past that. Who do I want to jerk me off to completion? And it turns out this couch is the next president of the United States.

That's fucking good. NSYNC returns with Better Place, first new song in over 20 years. Whoa. What? Do you have that? I don't know. It's called Better Place. NSYNC returns with Better Place. It's called Better Place? Their first song in more than 20 years is out now. Um...

It says it's from the movie Trolls. Is that true? That's for sure possible. Is that real, Ben? No, Better Place is... That's like Justin Timberlake, right? It says Better Place, NSYNC, from Trolls. Maybe it is. So Trolls band together. That's out November 17th. Hey, shout out Trolls band together. Dude, I love NSYNC comes back. The only thing that could bring NSYNC back...

was like the third sequel to the Trolls movie. After Justin Timberlake already made hell of a dough on the first two. Yeah, and he was like, all right, you know fucking, what was that? Not Lance, but like the fat one that I kind of look like? I think his name was Joey Fat One. Oh, yeah. I think it's Fatone or something. No, dude, it's Fat One. Joey Fat One was like, yo, Justin, give me some of that Trolls cash, homie. Yeah.

I've been going to malls and doing headshot signings for the last 20 years. Please, please.

Hook it up. I've been going on a live podcast tour. They're not fine? I thought one of them was going to space and shit. Yeah, Lance Bass, he's an icon. I thought they had paper. I mean, obviously, Justin Timberlake has more relevance and more paper from his solo album. No, I thought that fat guy from Orlando that put them all together, the boy band manager, stole all their money. Lou Pearlman? Yeah. I love that you knew that. What a boss.

I bet he gets a fucking great handjob. There's no doubt. He's just NSYNC-ing the fuck out of it. How do you think he signed all those boy band members? Because he had Backstreet Boys, he had NSYNC, and he had 98 Degrees. They're like, dude, we were going to sign with a proper agency, but this guy took us all in the back and jerked the fuck out of our dick. Took us to the Magic Kingdom. Where do I sign?

Well, should I play a snippet of the song? Yeah, play a snippet, please. It's going to sound like fucking... It's going to sound like troll. The first taste of NSYNC in 20 years. Enjoy. It's called Better Place. Yeah, they've been out of sync for 20 years. Nice points. Thank you. Yeah, low key points. It's definitely playing. I'm already

Why does it sound like they're in the building? Because they are, ladies and gentlemen! Come on in, guys. Come on up here. They're shaking their heads no. They saw the show. They don't want any part of it. Oh, they're leaving. Wait, Justin, call me. Okay, that's enough. I couldn't even hear it. I was about to ask for it in the monitors. Dude, if you don't release a song for 20 years...

Don't have it be that song. It's got to come in way stronger. Come out with a fucking banger. Remember when that song that was just like ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, bounce. Motherfucker hammer time. Yeah.

Just do that song again. It's been like 12 years. NSYNC is back with a new song that's already a song. I mean, that's what a lot of them do. But, you know, they'll NSYNC it up. It'll be like, ass, ass, ass. Right. Super different. Wait, why does NSYNC have like a list? Dude, that was, that was, uh... Bye, bye, bye, ass, ass, ass. Whoa, you guys sound good together. Thank you. Wait, hold up. I just want to play this song just because I really like it.

See? This is what you gotta fucking drop, dude. They should've just came out with this again. I've been hurt, babe. Is that this one? Yeah. Don't lie. It's gonna bite my eye. Okay, so if you're gonna get a handjob from so many in sync, go. Who would I give a handjob in in sync? No, give a handjob. Oh, give? And it's gotta be two at the same time. And then one other guy...

Lance Bass in space. No way. I'm a JC guy. Wasn't that his name? Yeah. Weirdly, maybe the one that kind of looked like a wolf. I feel like in the late 90s, you had to have one boy band member who sort of looked like a wolf. Because Backstreet Boys had that guy that looked like a wolf. He did look like a wolf. I feel like girls want to fuck wolves. I don't know. What the fuck?

It looked like a wolf. Dude, he looked just like a wolf. You know what I mean. Stop it. It worked. Dwayne Keefe D. Davis charged with murder. Okay. Murder in the Tupac Shakur case. What the hell? Oh, right. This is the dude who's dead, like... They got him. All right. Dwayne Keefe D. Davis, 60 years old, has long been known to investigators as one of the four suspects identified early in the investigation.

That shit's important. So that guy... He isn't the accused gunman, but was described as the shot caller. Sure. By authorities. So he wanted to be a baller? Yeah. Shot caller? Shot caller.

And, uh, I mean, crazy that fucking 20 years later, they're like, we got him. We got him. 27 years later, how do you even... The DNA. You said he's 60 now? 69! That's a fucking bummer. So he was probably gardening, as we've expressed that, and he's just like, aw, fuck, I know why you're here. I got a feeling he wasn't gardening.

I already know. You know what's weird? It's not weird, but I was reading or saw on the news, Tupac was 25 when he died. That's so young. I know, man. Because I was younger, and I thought 25 was old. Yeah. And now I'm old. Now we're so old, dude. And 25 is young. That would have been like if we died before the first season of Workaholics. Right. Right.

That would have been sad. That would have been really sad. You guys would have just been at the Always Sunny podcast show. It's like a... I'd go to that. Yeah.

Why the Ohio Valley dumps cold cheese on warm pizza. I've wondered my whole life. Pizza, pizza. I did not know this was a thing. It's called grandma style pie served in square slices topped with cold cheese and cold toppings. Wait, what? Square slices. I get that. Do you guys fuck with this or this is disgusting? No.

Yeah, okay, cool. A riot broke out at the Masonic Temple last night when someone was asked about cold cheese on pizza. I'm glad you don't fuck with that because I don't even understand it. Fuck that, all right? Fuck that. Hot pie, cold cheese. Fuck it. And then thank you. No thanks. I don't know. That sounds good. I mean, I like when I get like a hot brownie with ice cream on top. That's kind of yummy. A pizookie? Yeah, but the brownie is completed and the ice cream is completed. This is like...

We've covered this. He doesn't like his stuff completed, though. Right? You want your cheese to completion? I want my cheese to completion. Absolutely. I need my cheese completed. Dude, there's... It's not completed until it melts. Record rain in New York City generates life-threatening, flooding, overwhelming streets and subways. Did you see this shit, dude? For you.

I'll swim out of there. Oh, Durge is good. He's an aquaman. I like challenging natural disasters and just being like, for you. Yeah. There was a huge earthquake. For you. Hey, we have to evacuate. You do. Yeah. I'm fine. 20,000 people dead. Yeah, for you. Yeah. For you and your family. Sure. I don't give 20,000 fucks. Not me, dude.

I don't give a fuck! I climbed my ass right out of there. Oh, you're scared of water? Guess what? Your body's 80% water, you fucking idiot. Yeah, but dude, imagine...

the grossness that is floating up from the New York subway system. Imagine the amount... You're like swimming, and you're doing great, Durst. I believe in you and your ability to swim. Are you putting nose plugs in and putting ear plugs in, too? Are you doing that? But then there are 20... I mean, 200 million shitty sewer rats swimming right next to you. Can rats swim? Yes. Haven't you seen Last Crusade? Huh?

Haven't you seen Last Crusade where all those rats are swimming? The Last Crusade? Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Yeah, I don't remember when they're swimming. He gets in that little vault. There's all those rats and the German Nazi. Oh, shit. Take off your shirt. Just give us a ham or something. Adam, I didn't see you ask him for the Q&A question, so I thought he was just coming up and going to punch you in the back of the head. Right. Again. Someday.

That would be awesome. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Just kidding, Adam. Donald Trump shares candid thoughts about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey's romance. Okay. The former president, 77, addressed the alleged relationship between the NFL player and the pop star during an interview with the Daily Caller on the 28th of September. His comments came after Swift was seen enthusiastically cheering for Kelsey during the game. Do an impression. Do an impression. Please do an impression.

Yeah. No, not of Taylor Swift. Wait, is there a Trump quote? Oh, my God. He called the ball. I'm so excited. You know she says let's go all the time. I bet she's so annoying. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Sounds kind of cool when he says it, though. Okay, let's go.

Let's go. That guy's great. And then he says, I mean, Trump is hilarious, dude. He goes, do the impression. Is it De Niro? Yeah, I just went into my De Niro. How does Trump do it? Do a Trump impression. He talks the same. It's the same way. I did everything right. I'm the best. I wish the best for both of them. This is really bad. I wish I did the best for both of them. He's an old Italian man when I do a Trump impression. Yeah.

Pretty good. I hope they enjoy their life. Maybe together, maybe not. Most likely not. I love it, though. Dude, how funny is this guy? He's just like, I wish them the best. Maybe they'll be together. Probably not. Right, you don't even need to add that part. Just say, I wish you the best. Yeah, but then that's not funny, though. And then he grabbed his own dick. He goes...

I didn't realize he was 77. Yeah, dude, he's another one of the golden oldies. And sharp, pretty sharp. Pretty sharp. Hey, funny at least. Pretty funny.

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All right, we're doing hot, hot Q's and A's, everybody. Okay. You guys had...

Sweet cues. We got some hot A's. Steve Kennedy asks, during Game Over Man, Adam, did you have a fluffer for your doinky? He called it a doinky? And I enjoyed every minute of it, Adam. Doinky? D-O-I-N-K-E. I really like that. Adam was a little ripe, but delicious. It's a long shoot day. We shot that scene for like

six hours. Oh, yeah. It was a day's work. So at the beginning, I was hyping myself up. I'd go and I'd take the towel. It's a scene from Game Over Man where my dick is out for like five minutes straight. And I would take the towel and I would do one of these maneuvers. You wake it up, you stretch it out. I remember you. I remember you doing that, being like, I see you over there in the corner. I'm like, it doesn't seem like he's ready to shoot. Dude, and it's a bathroom scene, so there's mirrors. So there's just like, you guys were watching me go like...

Come on, buddy. Please. Wake up. Come on. You got a better showing? But no, no fluffer. So that was basically I fluff myself. Self-fluffer. Robert Nicomini. Nicomini. Yes, the Nicomini's. Do you guys like anime? Hentai?

Hentai? So here's my problem with hentai. What is hentai exactly? Hentai is like anime porno. There is water taxes. My problem is that like you click on it, it seems cool, and then for some reason all the chicks have like monster cocks. What?

I'm listening. They're all fucking each other? Is there no just like straight hetero hentai anymore? See, I don't love jerking off to cartoons or something. But like, I'm interested. I liked doing that when I was like 13. And sooner or later, ladies, it's gonna get too real. Oh, dude, the eight? You know...

Well, you know how porno is always at the cusp of every technology? Yes. You know the AI porno is going to be like... So good. I feel like it'll be the end of our civilization because people just won't leave their computers. They'll just be like... I mean, real women are already starting to cross their eyes in real life because of this stuff. Oh, yeah. And no one's asking for that. You're going to end up fucking with your eyes stuck together. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I'm asking for it.

So Danielle asks, this is topical, who's your fave NSYNC guy? Oh, shit. The fat one. The fat one. Didn't we just do that? Yeah. Oh, no, I guess we did. I'm a JC guy. I'm sticking with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wolfman Blake. Yeah. I mean, obviously Timberlake is... Yeah, I was going to say, I think I'm a Timberlake guy. I mean, I know that that's...

Just too real. So Ben wants to know, do you wipe front to back or back to front? I have to know. Always front to back. Yeah. That's what's happening. Front to back. Yeah, everybody wipes front to back. You're not going to mash your shit into your nuts. You're smearing it on yourself. You know what, though? You're giving yourself a steamer. It's a self-steamer. Self-steam. Self-steam engaged. By the way, I found out, and we've talked about this on the podcast, but...

Shooting Game Over Man, I like shot a scene where I was on the toilet and it ended up not making the movie, but I... I wonder why. It was the original ending. Yeah, me wiping my ass was the ending. And then at the end, I took the toilet paper and stood up and did this. And everybody was like, what the fuck are you doing? You're out of frame. You're out of frame now, Adam. All the camera guys were like, what's going on? And I'm like, I'm wiping my ass as a human being would do.

This is called acting. I'm living in the moment. Right. This is a character choice? And then everyone was like, well, that's not how one wipes their ass. And that was the first time I realized that not everyone stands up to wipe their ass. I was different, mommy. That's fucking so bizarre to me, dude. Wait, but when you're doing that... He does. Hey, lights up. Lights up.

Raise your hands if you stand up to wipe your ass. It's all the big boys. Look at that. Why don't they stand up if they stand up? That's right. And one woman. Loud and proud. Not a lot of us, but enough of us that it's not weird. We are a proud people. Also, I just noticed that there was a dude with a huge dick in buzz balls up there. Yeah, dude. Hey, before we move on, I do want to say the last 18 to 24 months...

I do finish with a back-to-front just in case. What? And... And... You'd be surprised. Surprised what? Yeah, what? Where is it collected? Why are you surprised? Surprised little extra... Little extra. A little extra nugget? Because it's like when an airplane is going to crash and you go hide behind a rock and you're safe this way.

I'm finding that little guy that was safe for that way, and I'm going back that way. That's true. It's like that. That makes a lot of sense. It's like that. Makes a lot of sense, Durs. Durs, I like that. So Steven S. wants to know, at what point while filming Workaholics did you feel like you, in quotes, made it? Huh. Also, my birthday was Wednesday, and I want to chug a beer with Adam the Bitch.

Very cool. Well, let's answer this question. Kyle, at what point while filming Workaholics did you feel that you made it? We made it? Made the show? You know, there's like 2,500 people here. Yeah, we've made it. I feel like this is sort of making it. We're not Taylor Swift. I know what it was. I remember when it was. I remember. I had to access something. But it's like, it's just, we shot that.

in our house that we rented and it was ours. And like...

I remember when we first shot there with the whole crew and I woke up early to make my coffee and there was like 12 big trucks. There was 12 trucks outside and like so many old dudes asking me what was going on and I was like, oh, this comes with a lot of responsibility. I think I've made it. Yeah. Yeah. It felt good to me. I was like, all right.

I'm a grown up I'm almost 40 I feel good You weren't almost 40 you're 26 years old Yeah but I felt 40 Yeah but you weren't But I feel for me it was after the first season already aired and we went to Bonnaroo Yeah We went to the music festival Bonnaroo and it was fucking mayhem after that first season like people were just going crazy for the show and we had to have security walk with us which felt really cool and I was being a big dick about it and I'm like don't look at me Right

I'm a star now!

No. I think it really resonated with me when I saw the slacker wig in a Spirit Halloween store. Yeah? I was like... Dude, they started to sell a wig that looked exactly like Blake. Yeah. And the dude who's a model doesn't really look like me. Yeah, he does. He looks identical to you. What do you think he looks like? Yeah, he looks just like you. He looks just like you, dude. He looks like you and every other white person. If you go on the description on the website, it's like...

do you want to look like a fucking loser or something? Yeah. It's like, this nappy, gross hair, it could be yours. Like, the description is very hurtful. And Blake's like, I made it. And I'm like, all right, I made it. What about you, Durs? I'll say that, like,

When you move to... So I'm from outside Chicago, and you moved to L.A. to make it, right? And... Yes, we're in Cleveland. You're a genius. Cleveland! Got him. And you moved to L.A., and it's very fucking big. It's sprawling, a lot of people. And then when we got a billboard for the show, it got a little smaller. Okay. Yeah. Oh, man.

So Ashley... Dude, I should have snored during your story. Cleveland! Ashley and Dane say, what should we name our baby? Oh. Legolas. You misspelled our, so... What would they spell our? I mean, they definitely meant to go, oh, you are, but that's a motherfucking V, dog. Wait, what? You can't slam them for that. What should we name our baby? Name our baby. Okay.

Name Over Baby. Name Over Baby is the sequel to Game Over Man. I think a pretty cool name would be Bone Bone. If it's not Bone Bone, we're never coming back to Cleveland. It has to be Bone Bone. If it's a girl...

My wife and I talk about this. If we were to ever have a girl, I'm like, why can't I name it Chloe Jr.? If it's a girl, name it Ashley Jr. That's hard, dude. That's kind of cool. That's sick. And if it's a boy, Ashley Jr. Boys can be Ashley too. Of course they can. Of course they can. Go Patriots.

So Jenny McCarthy, the Jenny McCarthy. Wow. We love you. Single now. We love you. What was the most awkward, embarrassing slash cringe? Jenny, fuck you. Cringe, dude. Dude, cringe. I hate that word. Like, ugh, cringe. I know. I'm like,

I'm like, nothing is cringe to me. Right. Cringe is timeless. Cringe is the only thing that's timeless. I love cringe. Yeah, cringe rocks, dude. Call me the cringe king. I love it. The cringe who stole Christmas. What was the most awkward, embarrassing cringe scene the four of you ever filmed together? Go into great detail, please. Jenny, don't tell me what the fuck to do. You lose. He's an asshole. What was it? The most awkward one? Awkward, embarrassing cringe.

Cringe scene to do? Scene that we made. Scene to do. I don't know. Well, I would say during... We did an episode, Fry Guys, where we, like, smashed dead fish on each other. Yeah. I mean, that wasn't awkward or embarrassing or cringe, but it fucking sucked. It was stinky. We touched upon it last night. There is that scene where Kyle, like, just deep throats butter, and that was really... Oh, yeah. That was really...

That was a hard day on set, I will say. Would you call that cringe? Is that cringe, though? I think some people that are total bitches might think it's cringe. Yeah.

I do think that was the whole thing about the show, is that it wasn't cringe. We were like, this is going to be funny. And we would just do it. And then some people were like, cringe. If you asked the crew and the staff, they'd be like, yeah, it was cringe. But if you're worried about being cringe, you're never going to be funny, right? Well said. Okie dokie. Can't worry about cringe. And Justin Williams asks...

Do you even like Cleveland? What? Hey, you've been here for like 10 hours, and so far so good. Really like it?

We'll probably go drink some beer somewhere tonight. This is for you! This theater is fucking dope. We like this theater a lot. Very cool architecture. Nice, dude. I love Cleveland. It was fucking gorgeous today. I walked to the Brown Stadium. It was fucking cool. My only regret is that we don't get to...

Go to a game and be in the fucking dog pound, dude. All right. Yeah. True. I would like, I do want to go, is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame worth it? Because, yeah. Yeah? We got a yeah? Okay. We got some no's. We got a hard pass. This guy right here. Oh, hard pass. That's kind of what I thought, too. Don't go. No, it'll be tight, too. It'll be tight. We'll be like, whoa, that's Green Day's drumsticks? Right. I know. It'll be sick. It'll be sick.

Are you mad that somebody didn't get in? You're like, Weird Al's not in, so fuck that place. They better have Weird Al in there or I'm going to be fucking pissed. I don't think Weird Al's in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, bro. You think he is? Fuck that. I'll stick with the fucking Dog Pound, baby. There you go. What you bitches want?

Any take-backs, apologies, any epic slams, boys? Oh, yeah. Epic slams. I could take back the freestyle because I really know that that was bad. That was weak. And what's cool is it lives in eternity on the podcast. Yep, yep, that's right. Oh, boy. What the hell is that? What the hell is that? Looks like some epic giveaways today. Oh, manila.

I guess I'll take back that moment when I said, like, the two pairs of testicles. I don't know why I said that, man. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know what I was thinking. Yeah.

You were taking homoerotic thoughts is what you were thinking. Man, I just really put myself in that hot air balloon with you, buddy. Yeah, you don't have to take that back. Okay, you know what? I'm going to do the first double down. I double down on the testicles. Hey, there we go. That's what I like to see. And also with you. Take backs, apologies, and double downs. I like that. Double downs are good. Any take backs, apologies, any double downs? Two double downs.

Yeah, I'm sorry we didn't get to spend more time in Cleveland. Yeah, dude. It was cool. I've never been here. We need to get Ders to the Durr, right? Isn't that a bar? The Durr? Is that a real thing? The Cleveland Durr is what I hear. Right, right, right. I like that. I will say that I

No, a few people from Cleveland, and they all fucking rock, dude. Yeah, dude. Fuck yeah, dude. A lot of good people here. My friend Mary's here, and she... I mean, we used to throw down back in the day. It was fun. What? Throw down? You fucked? No, alcohol. Oh, oh, oh. What are you doing? He just said my friend is... Yeah, that was kind of an odd joke. Well, I thought that was a weird place to admit to everybody that you and Mary used to get it on. Exactly.

Me and Mary did not ever have sexual intercourses, but you know Mary. Yeah, I do know Mary. Mary, hi. Sorry I just said that. I take that back now. That's a good take back. Yeah, I take that back. That was rude. And I'll apologize for NSYNC. They fucking flaked. They were coming out. What was crazy is they were in the wings ready to perform for you guys, and then I saw the fat one go, I can't do this. He said, fire up the PJ. We're out of here. Yeah.

The fucking fat one. Yeah, the fat one took his belly, threw it off to the side. It's like, I got to get out of here.

Is he going to get shredded, though? Can Joey Fatone have one of those transformations? No, dude. I mean, he's probably in great shape. I bet he could kick my ass right now. Well, because that's the thing. The guys that are a little bit bigger, you know when they get a little older, they start lifting weights. Like Dr. Dre. So strong, dude. When Dr. Dre and Busta Rhymes just got enormous. I love that. Yeah, bro.

Kyle, what is your take back apology? Any giveaway? I apologize for the rapping. Do we have some epic giveaways, though? Yeah, we sure do. Should we give them away? Yeah, for sure. Oh, yeah, we got some giveaways. Epic giveaways. Hell yeah, dude. Okay, all right, buddy. Hell yeah, dude. Let me throw one of these to this guy right here, bro. Dude, they better be... They're so epic. They're so epic. Okay, I'm going to throw it to randomly somebody right...

That's for you, bro. Sweet. Oh, yeah, and we have fucking Hot Pockets. Oh, who wants some warm-ass Hot Pockets? Yo, these are very warm. Yes. They have not been cooked or frozen. Holy shit. I probably wouldn't eat them.

Damn, these Hot Pockets are... Hot Pocket swag. Who's a small person? Who's small? Yo. A size small. Who wants this? Where's a size small? Yo, I'm just going to really try and throw that out. Yo, I'm going to throw this really far. Ready? Steady? Go-ey. Hell yeah. All right. Ready? Back row. Back row. This is getting to you guys. Frisbee golf style. Hell yeah. I mean, Adam just loaded them. Whoa!

Nice, dude. You fucking made it up there, bro. That's a hot rocket. We love it here. We love Hot Pockets. Thank you guys so much. Thank you for your steamers. And this is another episode of This is Importance. Thank you. Thank you.

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