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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This is Important... Butthole, nipples, and cum. I'm a hungry California sun bear. Grown-ups don't like watching movies with kids in them. I didn't even have sex until I was 35. I'm hungry.
Buckle up. We're back. Who cares? Sorry, wrong pun. That's a good question. No, that's worth asking. Who does care? Who cares that we're back? Start off with a whimper, Blake.
You don't care, dude. I love it. Sorry. Does anybody give a shit that we're back? Does anybody care anymore? Does anybody care we're back? Blake's over at his brand new house. I see that new backdrop. Thanks, man. Yeah, dude. Sick setup. I went and did a little tour the other morning. It's a sick pack.
Thank you, dude. Appreciate that. Very modern chic right there. Yeah. Oh, that's modern chic. Yeah. My favorite genre. Thank you so much. I'm trying to be modern and I'm trying to be chic. And that's kind of why I'm wearing the Google Glass. This is for chicness. Didn't Iron Sheik just die? Um...
I feel like everybody's dropping like flies lately, so I'll just say yes. We're already getting called out for Bob Barker. Dude, we said Bob Barker? Man, when will it stop? I feel like every person we talk about... It's true. It's real. We talked about Steve Harvey a lot. If Steve Harvey dies within the next...
Allegedly. Within the next month. If he dies within the next month. We quit the pod. We have to mass suicide together. We have to take a hiatus. Hiatus? Yeah, we have to take a hiatus. Okay. Yeah, we'll do the hiatus thing instead of the mass suicide pact that I was planning. I would just rather start with a hiatus and then see what happens. But we know you would, Mr. Hiatus. Yeah. Love me my breaks. We off ourselves, but we turn on again later. That's it.
Just a little hiatus. So we are being clear, no mass suicide. No, absolutely not. I'm just saying, one at a time. We'll do it one at a time. It would be too funny. The new medicine that I'm getting on, the doctor told me... Speaking of brushes with death... You already OD'd on your pills? No.
No, it just wasn't working. I had an epidural yesterday. Get on. So this is like what my wife had when she gave birth. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. A lot of wives. A lot of birthing mothers do an epidural. I've had one. Birthing people. Sorry. Yeah, so I had the hip surgery last week, and then I... I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, Kyle. Did you get on board with the mass suicide, or...
Or no? No, no. I was wondering what one of us said, but I didn't catch it. And then I was just making a face. So I was just smiling and making a goofy face. It threw me, dude. Still funny. Sorry. Sorry about that. So I had the hip surgery last week, and then that didn't stop any of the pain that's happening to my body. So they were pretty bummed about it. And then I did an epidural yesterday, and they were like, this guarantee we're giving you a nerve block.
The nerve pain will be gone. It has to be gone. But also your back will be gone. And then they gave that to me. It didn't go away even a little bit. In fact, it maybe was worse yesterday. What? Yeah. Because you got like torn tissue. Is that what you're feeling now or what? I don't. Well, I'm having spasms like all the way down into my legs and into my toes on my left side.
Like the stinky leg? Yeah, the stanky leg. Sorry, the stanky leg. I don't know what it is. It's a stanky leg that I cannot control. So I'll just be cooking eggs in the morning and just start stanking, baby. Are you doing the hump? What are we talking about?
No, it sucks. Like your legs in motion. It like wakes me up in the middle of the night. So I'm like not sleeping through the night. Like a dog that has a dream when it's running. I'm exactly like a dog. That's what it is for sure. Oh man. We laugh. We laugh and we cry. We laugh, but I'm sure you're living in a nightmare. We laugh. So I'm going to be on this new medication that they're like,
We give this to dogs that are having nightmares. I'm living in a nightmare. They're like, just so you're aware, this might produce suicidal thoughts. Oh, so that's why you were saying that. Come on, bring them on. Be careful of the... Yeah, I just got off the phone with him. And he said, be careful of the suicidal thoughts and know that it's the medicine. So just make sure you're... Are you with your wife when you start the medication? And no, she's in Louisiana. Is that supposed to help? No.
I'm going to be home all alone starting this medication. And I started tonight. So if you guys want to give me a little jingle jangle later. And the way you started off the podcast was asking for a mass suicide. Dude, you need to. I'm just saying I thought Kyle suggested it. I thought Kyle suggested the pills talking. But I didn't. I did not say that. I said I just heard suicide. Dude, I thought we were all on the same page. Suicide. If Steve Harvey, because then we're the problem. If Steve Harvey were to die. No.
then we're the problem. Well, yeah, but it's still, there's still some factors of fate in there. There is some wiggle room there. All right. Yeah. All right. Fair enough. It's all good. Adam. Yeah. I'll be FaceTiming you. Sure. I can FaceTime you. What's up?
You need us to take sessions? I don't even know if I need the whole FaceTime. I mean, it could just be a quick text. Wait, you don't want it? Or do. I would love that. Or do. Okay, okay. Wait, this is life or death and you still won't answer our calls? What the fuck, dude?
I'm like, FaceTime's a little bit too far. Yeah. Come on. I answer calls. Well, I don't know if you, it's a lot to FaceTime someone and then you got to be like, you know, 15, 20 minutes, they catch up and you know. Yeah. I mean, Ders knows. I've never talked with him on the phone once. So he knows. What do you mean? Yeah. Bad reception. Yeah.
What do you mean? What do you want to talk about? Wait, have you guys, you guys haven't talked on the phone ever? Is this something? No, I think we did. We don't regularly talk on the phone, but like. No, I think the last time I called Ders and talked with him, I remember it being the beginning of the pandemic and just being like. Crazy, right? Hey, check it in. Hey, how's you and your family during this global pandemic? Adam called and I just go, what? Yeah.
It was like, what? Yeah, he kept saying, don't be a bitch about it. I was like, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. Things are fun. Well, it's weird that you got that medicine that says, like, suicide. Because I did want to take this time to have this episode be the Flowers to Adam episode. But I guess we can. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. We can nip that in the bud. Oh, yeah.
Please do, man. I'm already thinking. Take them back. That's a major early take back right there. No flowers for you, brother. No flowers. You don't get shit. Yeah, it is scary because if they can't find the cause of it, then they start looking at like, do I have MS? Do I have ALS?
The cause of LAF? The cause of LAF. Lou Gehrig's disease and all the real scary shit. The cause of Lou Gehrig's death. Wait, really? Adam, is that like brain scans and stuff? What is that? Well, I mean, we don't have to go there if you don't want to. Dude, I don't even fucking know. It'd be a neurological disease that they sort of have to count everything else out before they will say that, okay, you only have two to five years left to live.
Right. What? You've been Googling. And we spent three of those years seeing if this was the thing. Seeing if this was the thing. Not giving you pain medication because they don't want you to be addicted. Way-o. Dang. Yeah, you've been way-o'd. I've been way-o'd. You've kind of way-o'd. Fingers crossed that it's not that stuff, and we find it's the cause of the diarrhea soon. Way-o! Yes, we want the cause of the diarrhea. The doctor goes, I don't know if I just said that, but he goes,
This is a very perplexing case. You don't want to hear that. The last thing you want to hear a doctor say, he's like, hmm. He's like, the nerve block really should have worked. That works like 98% of the time. It's very abnormal for it not to work. I'm like, huh. Well, you tell him you're a 2% or I guess so. Hell yeah. Well, seven and a half inches. 2% milk. How long is that needle?
yeah i didn't see it but it's you want to see it super duper long it's like nine inches long that long that's not that long yeah so adam i guess that's not that long that's a pretty long needle gulp to me yeah it's a regular size it's like a regular nine and a quarter inch needle what's the big deal yeah what nine inches that's like a right that's the size of my what's that
The size of the Subway sandwich I get. What's a what's that? Come on, man. That'd be six inch. Well, moving on from Adam dying. Yeah, I don't know. I think it is really, really long. And I got two shots. Not that long. And...
I was awake for it. They just did like local anesthetic. But the guy who was in the clinic next to me was going under. And the nurses were like kind of calling him a bitch. They're like, you know, like you don't have to go fully under. Is this Brozarks?
To receive the shot. To receive the epidural. The nurses were calling the guy a bitch from your room. This is Orange County nurses who are like, did you see this fucking guy? Yeah, they're like, you don't have to. Oh my God, dude. No, I was in Bev Hills for this. It's a Beverly Hills nurse. Okay, these are Beverly Hills nurses that are like, oh my God, did you see that bitch? Yeah.
As if. The curtain was closed. The curtain doesn't block sound, Adam. She can't just start talking shit with the curtain closed. That's what my parents used to do. So I didn't see the guy, and he was like, I'm not...
I'm going to be put under. And she's like, you know, it's very doable. And you could drive home and still have the rest of your day. And he was like, nah, I don't trust it. I don't want to be out. And she's like, okay. This was the same procedure? Yeah. Same procedure that you got? Yeah. I mean, that's like me when I go to the fucking dentist. I'm like, gas me up. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want to feel jack shit. And they're like, sir, you don't have an appointment.
i was like gas me up let's go put the mask on hey you gotta can i get a key to the bathroom at least then yeah anything you got any free coffees or tea uh sir you have to leave i'm gonna stick around gas me up so the nurses are talking shit about the bro next door just because the curtain is closed yeah that
That's kind of fucked up, dude. Well, I don't think they were talking shit, but they were like, you know, it's very doable. And admittedly, it sucked. You know, it's a giant needle in your back. But like, you feel like going through like bits and pieces of your flesh. I don't want to feel like a local anesthetic on it. So you're like numb. But then once they're like, comfortably, they're like, yeah.
trying to they there's the screen there's a monitor of your but they're like trying to find the exact spot in between your spine to release the steroids and that's not the spot that is not my
I think you found it. You relieved something. Something's relieved. Moon river. Wow. When you're talking about putting that up there, I think I would be so scared that I might move and like the needle. Oh, sure. You know what I mean? Like it would hit something and then I would tweak it and then the needle would just like. Do they strap you down? No, I'm just laying on a table. Yeah. You wouldn't move, Kyle. You're laying down. Don't move. Kyle, if we lay you down, you can't move anyway.
Hey, Kyle, don't move because then they could. Don't move. Don't freak out. I was adjusting. When it was painting, you're like, ah. That's what I would be afraid of. Kyle thinks he's too squirrely. Holy cannoli. But I wasn't flinching, and then they hit the spinal cord, and now I'm paralyzed. Well, that's the thing. That's why I think I would get fully knocked out. I think I would be that dude under the-
behind the curtain. So you were the bitch that the nurses were making fun of. Yeah. Like I'm actually getting like anxiety just thinking about it. Like, like it's like, it's tweaking me out a little bit because that's a big fucking needle. Yeah. It was, it was crazy, dude. I got the epidural and then drove back from Beverly Hills down to orange County. Like I was, I was like, that's what they told you. At least am I going to be able to drive? And they're like, yeah, yeah, you should be able to. And it was the first time I drove since my surgery. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Fucking go. I was like, sure. You should renew your license at some point. But go for it, brother. I did my my wisdom teeth without going to sleep. And it was kind of harsh because they really wait. Really? Yeah. Yeah. They didn't put me down. They kind of just they were like, yo, do you want to stay awake? You want some you know, there's bitches that go all the way under. I was like, I'm not a bitch, bro. I was an asshole back then. I have switched since. Right. Was that in Beverly Hills? Yeah.
I think I was a bitch for that. They wouldn't gas you up or what? I got gas the fuck out, which we've covered. I think I got gas the fuck out too. Yeah, I did. I did for sure. These are technical terms for throwing around, but for people who don't. Oh, we got a chunker. Blake's in the new crib. Doesn't have the setup quite dialed. Oh, boy. Here we go. Oh, this is our new weekly runner, Blake's Wi-Fi. Blake's a chunkin'. Oh, boy.
Yeah, no, I was for sure put down for the wisdom teeth. You were put down. It brought you back. Yeah. Yeah, they brought me back a lot. Yeah. I mean, we talked about how I woke up and said that my fly was open and my parents were like, what? Oh, yeah. But I was joking. It was like a Seinfeld joke. Yeah. Nobody liked it. Oh, that's right. Yeah, so that as if they molested you on the table, that hilarious bit. Right.
And my mom's like, uh, what? And I'm like, just kidding. I'm joking. That really funny bit. Did I tell you guys when I got my arm, when I went under for my arm surgery, when I came out, I fucking tried to like punch the nurse and they had to hold me down. And like, yes, you spit at her, right? I, I like was swinging at her and telling her to leave me the fuck alone.
This is the most Kyle story I've ever heard. But I thought, am I thinking of somebody else who woke up in a hospital or like maybe they were drunk, they were spitting at the nurse? Wasn't that you? Yeah. I don't think I was spitting at her, but I was probably putting on a performance. No, it was a different close friend of mine. Oh, okay. The other one.
You rode with a tight crew, Dersi. Yeah. Yeah. Just lost live up. But yeah, when I came out, I had no idea what the fuck was going on. And I thought I had been like kidnapped or something, I think. And so... It's weird. I wonder what the difference is between different... Like going... You know, I've had a lot of anesthetic and I've been under quite a bit. And every time... Like it's different, right? Yeah.
because sometimes you're like it hits different you're like real goofy and loopy and you're saying silly shit and you're doing weird stuff and this last time for the hip yeah i i uh i had a a bomb strapped to myself and i uh demanded some respect right and you deserve it yeah i think that it's an art form isn't it like isn't that like an anesthesiologist like a job where your job is to like tailor it get the
Yes. Yes. They watch it and they twist the knobs and stuff. And they're like, okay, he's almost dead. It's basically a theremin. You're basically operating a theremin. Yeah, totally. It is. Yeah. It's like very fluid. Yeah. Cause this time I woke up and was just, I was like, oh, we're done. Okay. And then I got up and like, it
sat there for like a half hour and then got up and drove home. Yeah, it's just like old hat. By the way, when you woke up was on the 405. You're like, we're done. I'm driving. Oh, I missed my exit. Fuck. Okay. Loop it back. No doubt. Dudes, I got Invisalign. I got it on right now, but you can't tell, huh? Wow. Oh,
Oh, really? I can't tell. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Is it on the bottom? Cause you're getting your Will Ferrell on or is it, is it on the top or it's the bottom? It's the bottom. It's the bottom. It's both. I have it on both. Really? Oh yeah. I put it on. I, when you put it back in, I can kind of hear a different in your speech, a difference in your speech.
But I didn't notice that before. Is it just because you just put it back in and it has to settle or? Yeah, I think I was slurping the spit back up, you know, and I didn't quite get it on the back cap. So it was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's cool, dude. Yeah, I...
It's so fucking weird, dude. Does it hurt? It's like braces. It's like a gradual thing that moves your teeth, right? Yep, and I have to wear rubber bands in them, too. I just haven't started doing that yet. Rubber band, man. Do the bands make you dance or no? The bands are going to make me dance, baby. You know it. What are you going to look like by the end? Well,
Well, hopefully my bottom grill gets a little straightened out, but it's like, I like this Kyle. It's not for aesthetic. It's for, it's because it's like a lot of plaque buildup. It's not good medically, I guess. So they're like, your teeth are all crowding. We need to separate them a little bit. You got no gaps.
Yeah. And you also don't want your teeth all folding in on top of each other. And, you know, that's a bad, bad look. I don't want your teeth doing that. That's what I got one down here. That's like, I was like, can you just ditch that one? Like, and I don't even have to wear invisalign. Very common. Yeah. Just, just ditch a tooth. But medically not good. Medically, probably not the best. Yeah. Because I'm, I'm, I'm happy for you, dude. You've recently lost like 50 pounds. You, uh, you were getting your teeth.
figured out. Your eyes have straightened right out. You're really coming together, man. This is the year of Kyle. This is like that show The Swan. Dude, I got my eyes checked the other day. 2020 vision. Straight up.
What the fuck? What were they? Are you having a glow up? He's for sure having an ultimate glow up. I'm having a late glow up. I'm having a midlife glow up. Yeah. That's what's happening right now. Are you Benjamin buttoning? Because it's like you're going from kind of this thing to this...
Wow, I don't know. You went from a thing to a thang. That's what it is. Thing to a thang, for sure. Yeah, I guess. I guess. I'm just, you know, something shining on me. You know what I mean? What can I say? Something shining. Yeah, I like it, Kyle. Mm-hmm.
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I have a way to make your morning more efficient. You can get caught up on the news in about seven minutes. That is my promise to you as the host of The 7 podcast from The Washington Post. And in that time, I will run down seven stories, everything from the most important headlines to fascinating new information you might miss otherwise. My name's Hannah Jewell. Go follow The 7 right now, wherever you're listening, and we will get you caught up. I'm Hannah Jewell.
You know, I watched a couple episodes of Workaholics last night just because I was thinking like, well, if we do a group suicide. Which episodes are we going to be watching? In costume. In costume. Like maybe we could reenact something fun before we drink the Kool-Aid or something. Actually, you're swaying me a little bit.
I'm trying to remember the show. I was like, man, Kyle, you had kind of a cool, dirty look on the show. I liked Carl on the show when you had the dyed hair and you were all skinny. The blonde hair was very sexual for me. Thank you. You were dressed as a pirate for one episode. Yeah, you had a cool vibe. With the eyeliner? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Those eyes, they, they peer right into your soul. Thanks. That was like, you know, we were becoming real actors at that point. Huh? The pirate was season one. That was like, we were wrapping our last season. Speak to that. Kyle, will you speak to that? I do remember listening to podcasts where people say, speak to that. I do remember directing, um, Chris Parnell, fucking Michelle Obama, uh, impersonator, impersonator.
impersonator impersonator yeah thanks for clarifying wow barack obama impersonator watched egypt it is yeah thanks for clarifying that derps we didn't want anyone to think uh right parnell was fucking michelle obama no slander over here baby okay we're allegedly we're alleged and clear you know um and i was wearing that costume and it was just i remember being like what the fuck is
actually going on. Right. And it was in my bedroom that I was going to sleep in that night. God bless America. Remember that, dude? Yeah. He had like a nice little career going. I bet he still does doing the Barack impression.
Because he was like everywhere. Yeah, he was great. Yeah, I actually watched Wolves of Rancho last night where we go to the Rancho Cucamonga. And I directed that episode. And there's photos of me directing that episode like with slicked back hair in that dumb suit that we had on. Yeah.
And these photos are up at the DGA. It looks like I got dressed up for my big week of directing like that. That's funny. I like that. Sometimes I wish I was that kind of a director that like dressed up. But didn't you? Who do I know? Well, Paul Feig does that. I thought you wore like a blazer or something like that. Yeah, Paul Feig. Who, me?
No, I don't know. No, no, no, no. I thought Kyle did. First week, he wore something fancy and we were all like, what the fuck are you doing? And then you're like, all right, I'll take it off. I don't see that for Kyle. Remember when we would go to general meetings when Workaholics was first taped? It was before the show had even aired. But there was always a button up. Maybe that's what I'm thinking. There was...
there was a buzz it was it was it was all about the buttons i'd have to talk to kyle about having his armpit hair out right wearing sleeves yeah and be like kyle we're gonna go meet the vice president at mgm or whatever let's throw on something where your armpit hair is okay and i remember you we got in like a true argument about it like a true he wanted to be himself if they don't if they don't respect me like this and they just don't respect me and i'm like it's just yeah
It makes sense. Your armpit and your nipples hanging out. You know, it's just... It's my way of saying I'm not playing your game, okay? But yeah, I think you're both right. I think it's a thin line. You could dress like yourself, but it has to be the nicer version. When you go to those kind of meetings, you don't come covered in paint. Adam, I kind of think the combo that I settled on was like... You don't go covered in paint? Is that what you said? Yeah. Kyle was always covered in...
oil or paint or some shit. Right. Yeah, right, right. Working on the car outside. Just tree sap. Yeah, it's just dirty. Digging a hole in the backyard for no reason. I don't know what this guy's up to. Since Blake's not here, I'll just say, yeah, and his dick is out.
Thank you. Thanks, dude. But I do remember it ended up being like tank top with button up over it. So then I could button up before the meeting. Yeah, that was like the little compromise that we came to. I remember truly we were standing, we were leaving. It was one of our first meetings. I think it was MGM. And it was one of our first big meetings. Yes, Durs got in an argument with a woman who is now a high level executive elsewhere. Oh, really? You guys...
Oh, wow. Yeah. You did or I did? Ders did. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't. Wait, you remember this? Wow. Yeah, I remember all. Okay, yeah, keep going because I'm like... What was the conversation about? About me and Nuchuk? Yeah, about him dressing properly and then we got in a...
a little feisty with each other. And then you got an argument. And then you were like, fine, I'm going to wear this shirt. And I'm like, great. I would love that. Yeah, right. I like that. And meanwhile, I'm just dressed in a t-shirt. And then what was the fight and the meeting about? Yeah. I don't remember. You had exactly, you had like beef with that. What she had said something and you took offense to it. And then it was like a real awkward moment of you being, of you,
you know, planting, planting your, your flag. I can't remember exactly, but you, you, you remember, uh, I mean, I don't want to say the woman's name, but she's a big executive elsewhere. Yes. I bet. I bet Blake would remember. Yeah. Wild. Yeah. I have no memory of any of these, not a lot of meetings ever.
Well, there's... They kind of all run together in a way. Yeah, well, there was a lot. They're like chapters. Yeah, I only remember the first few that we went on. The only meeting I remember getting in a fight with was somebody at Paramount who I was pitching this summer camp slasher to. And she was like, is it R-rated? And I was like, well, yeah. And she's like, but aren't the kids like 13 and 14? And I was like, yes. And then she just goes...
adults who go to R-rated movies don't want to watch movies about kids. And I was like, I don't know if that's true. And she was like, I've been in marketing for 15 years. I think I know what I'm talking about. Wow. I leave her saying Ders is on a hater raid or what?
No, well if you'd shut the fuck up and listen instead of... Yeah, hold on. Just keep playing. Hey, don't come after me. I held your fucking torch while you were gone and talked about dicks for you. He did. She was like, adults don't watch movies about kids. And I was like...
what are you basing this on? And she was like my 20 years in marketing. And I was like, okay, but like, sure. And then within 12 months, stranger things came out and then it came out and I was like, well, I could have made those, but, uh, okay. That shit's weird. So that was the one, that was the one meeting I remember getting in a fight with somebody being like, I don't, I gotta push back on that. I don't think that's true. And, uh, I guess I was wrong.
jk yeah there's a big jk there blake what might yeah what meeting did we get in a fight blake where you where you were there and somebody said something and i planted my flag i want to say that it was it was an early meeting i we told the story about how kyle and me got in a little argument going to one of our first meetings because he was wearing his tie-dye tank top and his like armpit hair was hanging out and his like nipple was flopping out
the side and I was like for some reason Adam had a problem with that I was just like dude put on like a shirt at least cover up your nipples and then we got a little argument yes I do wait I do remember you telling him to cover his nipples yeah
I was like, at least the nipples, just cover them up. Cause the whole goal of these meetings is they look at you and go, here's someone that I can entrust $30 million to, to go make a movie for us. And Kyle had the Carl Venice beach. Yeah.
Yes, that exact shirt. You know exactly what shirt I'm talking about. Well, he only had one tank top. I'm not sure if it's the exact meeting we were going to, but it was one of the early meetings. And we were going to like, I want to say MGM and meeting with this female executive and she was pregnant. And I don't know. I don't remember exactly what the beef was. Oh, that's I remember now. I was like, that's not okay.
That's where I draw the line. Oh, yeah. Ders flipped out just because it's not cool. Yeah. Wait a minute. Yeah. I was like, too weird. Position of power? I can't remember what it was. How are you in an office pregnant at the same time? Yuck. Who's really making the decisions? No.
I said, I'm not leaving here before you do. Not my tempo. Yeah, okay. So she was pregnant and... You kicked her. I can't remember what the fight was about. I remember it just being like super duper awkward. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Can't remember. I don't know. Do you remember this at all, Blake? I've been in...
I sort of do. I mean, Durge isn't willing to make things awkward if he feels strongly about something. I've been in plenty of... I like to make people explain things when they say stuff and I go, what do you mean by that? Yeah, I just go, okay. I don't let people just say blanket statements about stuff. Like someone going, adults don't like to watch movies about children. I go, shut the fuck up! What are you...
What are you talking about? Hollywood. Yeah. Harry Potter, baby. And you have to be that way. You've got to be you, man. You've got to do that. And by the way, I'm not saying because I go, you're wrong. I go, you feel that way? Based on what? Like, sell me on that. I would love to be, I would love to understand the same thing that you're saying, the way that you understand it. Because from where I'm sitting. Yes, it's like Android curiosities.
He's a robot. Wait, but Terz, you are now claiming that you will admit that you are wrong. Do you think you're good at that? I didn't say that. Admitting that I'm wrong? Yeah. I admit when I'm wrong, but I also... But? But I'm not wrong. No, no, no. To clear the air, I'll admit when I'm wrong, but I also won't be like...
my opinion is wrong. If I get something factually incorrect, yes. If I disagree with something based on my opinion, I'm not going to change my opinion until I'm educated in a way where I go...
Oh, my opinion is now shifting to something else. Right. I understand that. And you are good when it's like a story thing and you're pitching ideas. You can be sold on someone else's idea. You're not like stuck in your ways like that. Yeah. But Durst is a very opinionated person as well, which is kind of crazy. So that's another factor in this issue. I think my opinionatedness comes from my dumb brain. Mm-hmm.
not understanding where other people are coming from and how they got there yeah and so i stop them and go i need you to explain that i'm a dumbass please explain the nuance to me please explain the nuance because i'm not there or like what's up how did you get there i don't know yeah i don't know what you're talking about i think you're a fucking idiot you dumb pregnant cunt whoa
Hang on a second. Adam just played a recording from the meeting. Where did you get that? Allegedly. How did you get that? Fucking disaster, my guy. My God. That's a side effect. That's got to be the side effects. That's the pills talking. That's the pills talking. Jesus. By the way, the fact that you put the whole thing in the context of the executive was a pregnant woman.
which has nothing to do with anything except for the fact that that's who it was. That's who it was. Well, it's not. It seems like you're... Adam loves children, though, so he was like, he clocked that. He's like, oh, another child in the world. Well, it's just an identifier. It's how you... But it makes it seem like that's pertinent to the story. No, I just said that because it's funny.
I think I was like, really? You're going to have an at-home birth. You're a fucking idiot. Here's what I would do. But that was just Adam trying to jog your memory, right? That wasn't, that wasn't pertinent to the story. He's just taking a little jog around the lake. I don't see gender or pregnancy executives or executives to me. Whoa. Uh,
I like to go into meetings like this. See, that's what I'm talking about. I don't pay attention to any one of these fucking meetings. This is how I pitch every studio I go. I'm just trying to wear my tank top and let my pit sweat, dude. That's it. So this is an R-rated movie for grown-ups about kids. Are you with me? You're not? I'm too stupid to understand why you wouldn't be. Talk to me. Durs gives him a voice modulator and he says, talk through this and I'm going to cover my eyes. He's like, okay. Grown-ups don't like watching movies with kids in them.
Okay. Who said that? Who said that? Actually, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who said it. Bitch, you got kids in you. One. Actually, it's twins. Oh, man. Yeah. Gosh. Sorry about it. Yeah. Push back. I like a little push back's fine. A little push back. Yeah, exactly. It's good. Healthy discussion. Because have you ever just been in a room where someone says something and you watch everyone go, mm-hmm.
Blake, that was the perfect. And you're like, yeah, that's usually what I do. I would say for the 95%. Yeah, you talk shit in the ride home. I think I pick and choose my battles. I can definitely figure out which ones I want to just let slide and which ones I got to be like, hold up.
What was that? I don't even categorize these things as battles. It's your misunderstanding. Yeah, see, I do like that. Well, that's fair. These are breakdowns in communication. Right. That's huge. Well, yeah, it is interesting because some people get offended when they're
opinion or their idea is challenged and that shouldn't be how it is you should and that's what's crazy to me i know that's like somebody was like uh telling me their friends their friend created a show or no uh they were like hey are you watching this show and i was like oh we watched a couple episodes it drove me crazy i hated it and she was like oh my friend created it and i go oh yeah it's i i think it's a fucking mess
And she's like, I just told you my friend created it. I go, I know, but like, that's not, I'm not going to tell you. Oh no, it was actually pretty good. Like dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. Oh, this macaroni tastes like fucking shit. Uh, it's my family's, uh, secret recipe. It's been passed down.
That was the last thing my grandmother made before she passed away. That's her potato salad. But then she was like, would you like it if I started shitting on like one of your friends projects that was and I was like, is it was it bad? Is it your opinion that you didn't like it? Then that's fine. It's not going to offend me. Like, yeah, right. I don't know where you could. But would you do that if it was that person's show? Would you go? I think it's bad. I don't like it.
if they are the ones that did it. No, but I've always wanted to have conversations with people to be like, we can agree this missed the mark. Like, where do you think it happened? You know, but I think that that's for them to bring up if they want to. Yeah, sure. But also sometimes, you know, I mean, people have strong views about projects that we've done. And sometimes you're like, I stand by the decisions that we've made. Oh, yeah. But again, I'll go, why do you think it was bad? Right.
And then they'll go this and I go, and I might go, you're right. That's the worst part about it. I like all the other stuff. And I think that that outweighs it though, for me, you know, like, but it, to take it personally like that when it's just kind of a, I don't know. It was so hard not to though. Yeah. Some people are just bitches. Some people have to go under to get an epidural, you know, people are just bitches, dude. I mean,
Dude, I remember when I found out that my uncle, who we watched movies a lot growing up and talked about movies, that's what we did at Family Functions. We get it. Industry brat. Go ahead. Your Uncle Spielberg? Nepo baby. No, no, no. Uncle Swimcoach, man. Oh, you got to watch movies as a kid. No wonder you're a fucking director. Go ahead. Go ahead.
But I heard, I talked to him and he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Game over, man. Yeah. And that was like at Thanksgiving and it was like, oh, he didn't really want to talk about it. I was like, okay, I'll go talk over here. Then I find out that my mom was like, my mom told me later, like your uncle turned that movie off, didn't finish it.
Oh, what part? What did it? The butthole? Adam's cock? I really think it was the butthole. I think it was the butthole into the dog, I think is really where he was like, I'm not even going to try this anymore. Well, admittedly, that movie isn't, I understand, isn't funny or good.
No, I think it's super funny and I really like the movie. I do too. But I understand how it would be off-putting for some people if that's not their sensibility. I do too. I totally get it. This guy is like, he's religious. He's kind of been more conservative as he grows up, you know, and as he became older and became an elder. So it's like... Thank you, God!
And he hates that this was making him laugh. Yeah. We fucking pulled him back to Sinville. It could be the truth. There's a guy who's like Cheech and Chong rules, you know? So it's like, oh, what's up? Dude. I remember that scene in Cheech and Chong up in Smoke where they had one man eat another man's ass at gunpoint. Right.
Yeah, Up in Smoke. Delete his chain. Shout out to Gabrus. Very funny. Yeah, I feel like it's Apples and Apples. Yeah, they had the exact same scene. It's after the credits. If you keep watching Up in Smoke, they have this cool scene where... Chicha rips a...
a bong load out of Chong's asshole. Yeah. It's a felch. Is it a felch? It's really good. He sucks a bong load. What do they call that? He uses butthole as a bong. Snowball? It's a two liter bottle in the water. Jankum? Gravity bong. He gravity bonged out of his asshole. Yeah. He does a cartwheel and then he slurps it. It's really good. That's cool. It's higher.
I mean, hey, we stand on their shoulders. You know, different time, just different time. Well, I'm like a little worried about the live show because so many people, like family members of mine, like I have like 50 people coming to between like Omaha and Kansas City. I have like 100 people that are like,
we're coming. And I'm like, I don't know if they listen to the podcast. Like some, these are like my aunts and uncles and their friends. And they're like, you know, they're in their fifties and sixties. And I'm like, I don't know if they're listening to the pot. I'm like, just so you're aware, this isn't like a standup show where I, this is curated material that I've done, you know, for years that I've developed it. It's,
This is us sitting, talking, and it'll probably devolve into porno and buttholes. 100% of the time, it's porno and buttholes. And they're like, oh, it'll be fine. At least nipples. Yeah, nipples. We'll do it live. Everybody's got a butthole. Well, I also heard, I was talking to our buddy Scooby from community college, and he says he's coming to the Arizona show with his 12-year-old. I'm like, wait, is there not a age limit on some of this? So.
Wait, really? I would not have guessed that 12-year-olds would... Yes, it's an all-ages show. What? Isaac! I'm doing live! My parents want to come to Chicago and bring... My mom's like, I want to bring my old stewardess buddy and her husband. Oh, well, they've seen it all. These are all people in their 70s and maybe 80s. Very shagadelic. I go, okay, Mom, if you want to bring them and just listen to us talk about... I literally say the same thing. Talk about buttholes for an hour. That's up to you. Opposite side!
yeah but it gets worse you kind of have to say to these people it's worse it gets worse buttholes is like the fucking entry yeah that's the entry point then you have to be like because you kind of have to say to these people you have to look at them in the eye and be like this is the entry point is the name of this episode buttholes buttholes is the entry point and then we dive then we go deep butt yeah the deep and then we go into cum and it's like fucking it's crazy dude it's like you have
to kind of say like butthole nipples and come and we get to come play people like it. So come on out to Boston. Essentially, Medford, Massachusetts is sold out. Sorry. You snooze, you lose. Did it sell out? Yeah, we're like right there. And then Chicago, we still got some tickets come out. That's the first big weekend. Boston and Chicago.
Chicago. Chicagoland. Fucking show out. Let's go. Yeah, baby. Show up. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Come on, man. I think the bottom bowl has sold out and then now it's a big theater. Chicago's like 4,000 seats or something crazy. Damn, son. And did we mention that we're having the entire cast of The Bear joining us in Chicago? Yeah, we didn't mention that. We didn't. Oh, and we shouldn't because they aren't. And we shouldn't. Oh, that's not it.
Oh, dude. Let it rip. Whoa. Yeah, dude. Don't ruin it. What are you doing? Don't do this. He did it. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I don't know about you guys, but I feel this year has gone by so quickly. I became a father this year. Can you believe that, guys? Huge. And the baby that I named Bo is growing bigger every day. Let me tell you, life goes by like that.
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The guy from the bear. What about him? What's his name? Uh, Jesse Plemons. No, no. Jeremy Allen White, right? Jesse Michael Plemons. Suddenly he like, I think he'd like just got a divorce and, and is now, uh,
Just a lot of TMZ photos of him running shirtless. I'm like, this guy is sending it right now. I'm happy for him. Still going to send it. Don't care. Of course, dude. He's having his fucking moment. Yeah. Allegedly. Blake, are you jealous because he's kind of stealing your look? Wait, what? He's kind of stealing your look? How is he stealing my look? A tank top and sleepier eyes? Skinny white guy.
well he doesn't have long hair that's why Blake keeps the long hair yeah but he has a shaggy he has a shaggy no but he he looks like a young teenage wrestler he's kind of got the like he's a little guy right wiry dude speaking of which he has that wrestling movie with Zac Efron coming out that's about to be fucking sick I think I think they're going to
kill it. Yeah, I hope that is good. Who's it about? It's about an early family. What is it? I should know their name. It's like a very famous WCW or NWA wrestling family, like the Van Dorens. It's not that. Yeah, that's not that. It does sound right. Van Doren, I think, is sunglasses in my trip. That's Von Zipper. I think Van Doren is Vans. Van Doren is Quiz Show. Vans. No, Vans. I
I wish a producer could look this up for us. Yes, it is. It's Vans. It's Vans. Van Dorn. Yeah. Von Eric. Yeah. Von Eric. Von Eric. Van Dorn is Vans. Von Eric. Van Dorn is Vans off the wall 66, baby. Von Dutch. Go ahead. Von Dutch is the sunglasses. So it's the Von Eric wrestling family. He's in the Von Dutch family. Yeah, which I don't know a lot about that wrestling family. I think it was a little bit before my time, but it was like. That's like pre-WWF, right? Isn't it? I think it's kind of like tickling around like four horsemen, maybe.
I don't know. I thought it was like the traveling. Who's directing it? I don't know. Who's directing it? I don't know, but all I know is their looks look amazing. I would have loved to be cast in that movie. They're hot muscles. Well, you have to cut your fucking hair, bro. I could cut it a little bit. You gotta cut your hair, dude. I know, but it comes down to who's directing it.
Because their looks aren't going to save the movie. I think it's going to be good. A guy named Sean Durkin, who I'm not familiar with, I don't believe. There's been a lot of look movies that have fallen flat and not delivered on the stills that get released. Yeah, but Jeremy and Zac Efron, he's like a sneaky, really good actor. He shouldn't even be sneaky. He's a really good actor. When Zac puts his mind to it, he's a fucking killer, dude. I don't know.
What's your favorite Zach performance? I was just wondering. What was the one that the room when he was in the room, but it's not the room. What's the Seth Rogen movie where they remade the room? Yeah. The Disaster Artist? Yeah. There's a really tiny part in that. Who's he playing that? That's Dave Franco. Yeah, but it was fucking no. Zach Efron. Wait a second. That was Zach Efron playing Dave Franco doing the guy? Wait, who was he? I don't remember him in that movie. I don't either. I like that movie a lot. He was good in the Ted Bundy movie.
The Ted Bundy show Or was that a movie I think it was a movie Yeah he was No that was a movie He played Ted Bundy In a movie Yeah He's great in that He's going for it He did good He's good Yeah Zach's a good actor And Mike and Dave Is one of his best movies ever Are you kidding me That shit rocks Well I can get behind that Very funny in Mike and Dave Thank you for saying Thank you for saying it Yes I'm more of a neighbors guy But yeah
who was he in the disaster artist? I'm still tripping on this. He's like just as very small scene. I think he's like, uh, he's the boom operator for a second. Dude, it's, and you believe it. Like picks like this scene where Zach has the absolute smallest role, uh,
He definitely did. It's like a little cameo role. He's like, dude, that's all I need. He was playing Zac Efron, and he was like natural with it. No, that's all I need. I'm like a casting director. I see those scenes, and I'm like... No, Zac's a good actor, and I think that movie... I don't know the director, Sean Durkin, but I...
I hope it's cool. I think it's going to be cool. And that Jeremy Allen White guy, he's got a ton of heat on him, so at least they're positioning. You would think his agents would position him to do something at a high level at this point, coming off that show. Hot, hot, hot, hot. It's going to be dope. Yeah, you think so, but then you never know. That's true. I do like when he's on the bear, he's like,
in the alley, like squatting down, bent over smoking and talking to people. He smokes cigarettes really well. Like that's a move. I don't know if I would do a movie and they, and I squat down to smoke, they'd be like, you should stand up. Yeah. For me, they'd be like, it looks like your knees are hurting. Yeah.
Yeah. That would be a hard, that's a hard, that's a hard discussion for the monitors too. When you're at the monitors, just watching them wobble and you're like, I don't want to fucking go. Adam really looks like he's in a lot of pain. But he wants it. He told me that he came out of the trailer and he was like, dude, I got an idea for this. I'm going to do a cool Jeremy Allen white crouch. Under his,
Please stand up. You look like you're taking a shit. In Chicago, when we're on the road, we're going to all take a bunch of Instagram reels of us smoking cigarettes as best as we can. It's going to look great. Like in white t-shirts? Yes. I'm going to smoke my first cigarette in Chicago. Dude, I got to get those herbal. I got to get the herbal ones. Hey, when we get to Chicago, we're going a day early. Are you guys coming over to my parents' house or what? I don't know.
Yeah. Hello. This is going to be my first time. I didn't get to go the last time. We got to go. We got to do it. Can we broadcast from the house? Can we do those? I mean, we're in Chicago to do a podcast. Wait, can we do a ghost hunter where we scan your house for ghosts and spirits? Because I bet there's a ton. Yeah, but if you end up throwing a net over my dad, not okay. I got one. I got one. I got one.
My dad is translucent. Oh, shit. My bad, Phil. Your dad looks like Slimer, bro. He might get in the three-point stance out of just memory issues.
The Iron Claw is the movie of the Zac Efron, Jeremy Allen White movie. Oh, yeah. That's about to pop off, dude. The Iron Claw. Yeah, that seems cool. Absolutely. I'd love to come to the home residence. Check out the hood. I'm going to come. Dude, we can just gallivant around Evanston and I'll take in my old food spots. Yes. What, Wieners Circle? What's the best hot dog in Chicago? Fuck that.
noise oh it's Mustard's last dinner right are we going there Mustard's is right by me are we fucking going there dude tight 20 butthole everybody gets a shirt you guys actually have a picture up in there really it's me and you guys
Oh, wow. We got to make an appearance. Will that get us a free cheese dog? I doubt it. Dude, you could just buy. Hey, that's me up there. All right. That's $11.99. Hey, man, I'll take a free hot dog. Maybe this is what we do. We eat a lot on the live show in Chicago. We get a mountain of hot dogs and we just eat on microphone. Let's door dash.
I think that we should have food there for the shows. I'm going to be hungry. I want a gyro plate. There's going to be door dashes interrupting the show the whole time. Let's order 100 door dashes. And then every door dash guy that comes, why not? 69. We interview them. They wave them through all the way to the front. They have to come all the way down. Pizza, pizza. I kind of like that. That's a great idea. This is the way. If we do that, we have to overtip.
Oh, we do. We have to. 20,000%. 20,000% and a t-shirt and some hot, hot, hot, hot merch. When did it go from like, do you want to be a cheapskate and do 17%? Do you want to do 24, 29, or 36? And you're like, aren't I already paying like $15 extra just for delivery? Those buttons are flagrant. Yeah, the credit card is
like what's up it's so crazy like i got a salad i was home alone and i literally ordered a salad you ate salad bitch dude i know dude good for you adam yeah i was thinking the same thing and so i ordered it it was 56 because i door dashed it oh my god worth it and it was just all the up chart it was like a regular it was like a 20 salad and then with all these extra fees and bullshit and then with
And then I tip. Well, because what is it? There's already a delivery fee. And there's a fucking tip fee. And there's also, if you don't want them to take longer fee, like an expedited delivery fee. Oh, and I do that every time. I'm such a sucker. Even though it's like five minutes. I pay the extra. I don't know.
I don't do that, but I am very, very angry when it's like, yeah, we're preparing your order. We got it. And then it's like, it's making it. And I'm like, where's the fuck's he go? And then they drop someone else's meal off first. They like pass your house to go to another place because they paid the three dollars. Adam's waiting out front with his hands on his hips. Hungry. It's annoying. That frustrates me to the most. That frustrates me to the most. I'm a hungry California sun bear.
I'm pissed now. Have you guys gotten left hanging by an app? What? Yes, I have gotten hanging. A week ago, I go, yo, or whatever. I order some wings, right? Nice. There we go. Now we're talking. And then it goes, it'll be there in an hour. Now we're talking. And by the way, I'm home alone style parent. I time it perfectly. So as soon as the kids go down, my...
my food shows up and I can have like my night. Kids go down, daddy's shooting. It's for you, it's not for your kids. I thought this was good. Daddy's shooting up. Wife's out watching Barbie. I thought it was for the kids. No, no, no. This is just for me. The kids already had like whatever. PB&J? They had their chicken nuggies. Something, yeah. Oh, that sounds good. And so then like I'm sitting there and it goes, you got a new driver. And I go, all right, whatever it takes. And then,
15 more minutes goes by and it goes, you got a new driver. It's now been an hour and a half. And then at two hours it goes, hey, they don't have something from your order. It's canceled. And I was like, no. I mean, that's happened to me a few times. It's so frustrating. So I go into the app and I'm like, yo,
You guys just absolutely ruined my night. Now I'm eating dinner from somewhere. It's somehow like 10 PM at night. I gave my kids sleeping pills. I ordered, I gave them shots of whiskey. I fucking knocked them out with some diamond tap. Big melatonin night over here. You ruined my night, but they did. I gave them Adam's suicide pain meds. And so I go, they're like, we can offer you $10. Well, you get your money back and you get like a $10 to play with or whatever. And I was like,
I want $50 or I'm deleting this app. Good for you. Okay. Oh, good for you. Good for you. And they're like, I can't do that. $10 is the maximum. I can't stop eating. And I go, you have a shot right now to keep a customer who will keep using DoorDash or whatever the fuck it was. This is over the phone? They're like, dude, can I go? No, this is like the text thing. I go, you can get...
of my money. Are you texting like you have a shot right now? And by the way, you're texting someone in India. They're like, we don't care. No, I'm not even texting a person. This is a machine. This is AI. Your voice memo in a robot.
you can send me a $50. I go, you can either send me a $50 reimbursement or you can just lose so much money for the rest of the existence of your company. Right. You don't watch pizza. I order. And by the way, I was doubly pissed because it was an app I never use. I don't think you make sure. And, uh,
My buddy's wife works for them. It's her company. And I told her she's a dumb ass motherfucker. You use Postmates? You use Uber Eats? Dumb pregnant bitch. And so then I go, all right, I'm going to move yours to the front of the line. I'll use this one. And then on my second or third order with them, I get stiffed.
Dude. I'm so sorry. I mean, I just talked about this right before the pod, but I ordered Domino's last. It was right after my surgery. Okay. I was like, Chloe was like, what do you want me to do? You want me to cook you something? And I never get pizza. And I was just like, you know what? I'm going to be a fat little piggy. Oink, oink, baby. Give me a pizza.
I'm on pain pills. I'm like, give me the pizza. I'm going to come. So we ordered Domino's. It doesn't come for two hours. And it still says it's going to come. Is this with an app? Is this using an app? Or is this straight? The app. Fuck.
But the Domino's app. It's the fucking apps, dude. It's the Domino's app. Well, okay. Which you did or did not have before. Like tonight, that night, you downloaded the app that night. You know what, babe? I'm downloading the app. No, Chloe loves Domino's. So we got, she had the Domino's app. So we get the Domino's. Okay, good for her. And then I was like, you know what? Domino's is a keeper.
She's a keeper. Pizza Hut says that it can be here in 20 minutes. So we get Pizza Hut. The Domino's shows up five minutes before the Pizza Hut. And so we just have a pizza. And I'm like, okay, it's a little taste test. Dude, hands down. I've always been a Domino's guy. That's what I kind of grew up on. Pizza Hut annihilated it. Oh, my God.
It was hands down better. I don't know if it was a better batch or what. I think we've had this discussion, right? Back in the day. Go back episodes. I've been claiming Pizza Hut for a long time. I've been a Domino's guy. I've switched. I think that's just what
People order a thousand pizzas of, you know, when you're like at a sporting event, they're like, we'll get 200 Domino's pizzas for these little monsters. Domino's ain't it. What was it? What was it that set it far and above? Do you remember? I'll tell you. This was very recent. What was it that set it above? Dude, it was the crispy...
Like buttery crust. Crispity crusted. Uh-huh. Yeah. Talking about it. It also was hotter. The Domino's, it seems like it was sat there for an hour before they decided to drive it over here. It for sure did. It for sure did. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Well, the Domino's, I think the Domino's did. Yeah. And it just was a much worse pizza. It was much worse. Yeah. I agree. Markedly? Okay. It was markedly worse. I agree. I agree.
I agree, dude. I always thought that Domino's was too salty. I think Pizza Hut goes a little lighter on the salt. Pizza, pizza. Or overt salt. I like Domino's. They do a good garlic crust at Domino's. Yeah, but it's so homely. This batch. And we got the...
the exact same pizza because we wanted the same toppings and everything. Oh, that's good. Pizza, pizza. Scientifically, that's good. There was a real taste test that we did and I'd say a taste test of two. Welcome aboard. Domino's came up on top.
Last time we did this, you were a Domino's guy. Blake was a Pizza Hut guy. I believe I was a Papa John's guy. But I have also since had Papa John's and not been pleased with it. I thought Kyle was Papa Murphy. He was Papa Murphy's and that was a whole thing. That was a value rating. That was a value system. And also, I know what it is and we didn't talk about it. And by the way, I like Papa Murphy's too. It's Costco.
Value, taste, everything. Costco pizza fucking rocks. Kyle, it's weird you mentioned that because I just got a card today. I am officially a member and I am loving it. You got a Costco card. You got that nice, big, brand new house, dude. You got to fill it up with some...
Some snacks. TP, a bunch of like goldfish. So many Dyson fucking robot vacuums and shit. Yeah, like so many pizza rolls that you can't close your freezer. Yeah, dude. The freezer is a war zone of rolls. Is this pizza that you cook? Or is this pizza that they make and you pick up? And the price.
Exactly. That's right. I couldn't believe I didn't mention it last time when we were talking about value. But how do you get it? Is there a pickup window? Do you have to go in and like not? It's hot and ready. You have to buy tires and you get the free pizza. It's basically hot. It's ready. No, this is the thing. It's the it's.
It's the first stop when you come into a Costco and it's the last stop when you go out. Everything is thought out so well. So you have to go into a Costco. You have to walk into a place. No, it's right before you go in. It's outside of Costco. So you do have to drive somewhere. So it's not the first thing inside.
Well, it's different. It's different in the first thing right outside of the Costco. It's different. Sometimes it's outside. That's great. Sometimes it's inside. It's inside at Woodland Hills, I think. Okay. That's the outside one. I can't remember. Maybe Burbank's inside. All right. It doesn't matter. Right. How far outside is it?
It's on your way. I got a hot dog today with a soda for $1.50. And this hot dog was so big. How big was it? Hot dog with a soda, $1.50, ladies and gentlemen. It wasn't that big. It wasn't that big compared to some other things. But it was a
Pretty big hot dog for $1.50 and with a soda. Probably unlimited relish too, huh? Yep. Doesn't that scare you though? Unlimited relish. Okay. It doesn't scare me, Ders. When something edible costs $1.50, doesn't that scare you? No. No, because it's been that price forever. Thank you. That's their thing is they don't raise the price. This is crazy.
They're like Arizona iced tea. They're like, this is going to be the price. But then the guy raised the price on Arizona iced tea recently. Did he? Well, and I do think the hot dogs went up 25 cents. I thought he was a G, dude. Well, he tried. He was like, the margins are getting crazy. And let's all say it together. Thank you, Joe Biden.
My God. Thanks, Biden. Sleepy Joe. We just want to see the laptop. This is the way. Is that his thing? I don't know. Something about laptops. Bro, it's always on a laptop, man. I just want to see your Pornhub searches. Yeah, I just want to see the Pornhub searches. Benghazi. Yeah, we want access to one website's keychain. Oh, it's Mia Khalifa all day. Let's not. Yeah, I don't need to see the whole laptop. I just need to see the Pornhub search.
Just the key chain for Pornhub.com, okay? Hey, mom, dad, please come to every live show so you can hear us talk about Joe Biden's Pornhub searches. And come. And come. Yes. You know it's just like naked chicks washing cars? Like washing like a 69 Corvette? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like that's what he looks up. It's bikini car wash all day. Are you kidding me? And he's wearing the aviators while he watches it.
Speaking of politicians that are just too old, what's the name of the dude who keeps freezing up in public during speeches? I saw this today. Dude's name is Mitch McConnell. Mitch McConnell. Yeah. He looks like a Star Wars character. Yeah. Mitch McConnell keeps just, they're like, and Mitch, what are you going to do after this press conference? And he's just like,
just fully freezes up 69 I know I think he had like a neurological like issue oh he just froze again today today yeah no today it was today they were like he froze and then it was like hey Mitch did you hear the question and he was like
Yes. Dude, he was gone. He said yes. He said he heard the question. Yeah. Always. But he couldn't answer. This bro is making the most important fucking decision. Yeah. Dude, it's so crazy. It's so crazy. Dude, it's crazy that there's. Let's get Pauly charged. We're so charged. We're placing such a premium on like youth right now. Well, we need the youth, baby. Where are the youth at? Everybody's like, we need to get youth in there. You need to get youth in there. I just said that.
Where's the 50-year-old? Where's the 60-year-old? It's everyone's 80. That's young in politics. That's youth compared to what's in office right now. No, 35 is youth. 35, like John F. Kennedy was youth. He was like in his late 30s. I didn't even have sex until I was 35. Who?
Who's the governor of Florida? DeSantis? Yeah. This is what I just found out the other day. And my mind, guys, it exploded. A dude I went to high school with was in fraternity brothers with DeSantis. Very shagaday. I was like, wait a second. How old is Ron DeSantis? He's like three years older than me. Wait, really? Well, you're a city councilman dude at this point.
I know, but I'm like, how is that possible? He looks old as fuck. And he also doesn't know how to smile. Do you see that video of him going like,
Yes, very funny. But in his defense, neither do I. Well, that's the thing with both of these guys. So, OK, so you're saying he looks super old. Mitch McConnell's brain is melting. Why do politicians want to even be in this position? Why would you want to be? I don't know. How old is bro Mitch? Like 80? And you have to make crazy decisions. He's 81. You got to walk away. I mean, it does seem...
It takes a certain type of person to want to be a politician. You're fucking drunk on power. You're going to Epstein's Island. I don't know what the perks are, bro, but why wouldn't you just... That wouldn't be a perk, just to set the record straight. Why wouldn't you just want to sit at home and watch Family Feud nonstop? Like, what the fuck?
Yeah, family feud. And we're not giving anyone flowers. That was our family feud. Because I don't want to do the suicide pact that we all agreed to. These politicians are sick fucks. Is there any take-backs? Is that a take-back, Adam? Any take-backs about...
Let me apologize to this person, this pregnant woman in the meeting at MGM if there was some sort of misunderstanding. I mean, it clearly... It could have been MGM. It could have been something else. I mean, Isaac put her in the chat and I've actually met with her a bunch since then and it hasn't been weird. Okay, well, now you're really out on yourself. Say it!
There's nothing out. If you get in an argument with somebody, but then you see each other again. It wasn't an argument. I remember it being a funny, weird, derz, awkward moment where the rest of us are just sitting there quietly. Nice shoes. Yeah.
Nice shoes. You like those? I was asking for more water. Is there more water? I do wish Adam was like, yeah, you told this person to just shut up. He said, shut up. Well, that's not okay. That's okay. That's weird. I don't remember, but if you say I did, I guess that's bad. No, it wasn't anything like that. It was just a classic. Shut up.
Well, I can't wait to get out of this goddamn strike and then go on pitcher again. Yeah, go have more. Let's get back to the table. Come on. Let's get back to the table. I would love to be done with the strike. But you know what, guys? Since that we are on strike. Yes. Since that. There will never be another time that we are all off at the same time and can do a live tour together. That's true.
That's true. This is our hell phrases over tour. Yep. This is it. It was over before it started. This is really the only time I can see it in the foreseeable future. Like we won't be able to go on this tour. Right. Yeah. If, if we are not on strike because one of us will always be working somewhere, you know? Oh yeah. For sure. Absolutely. Adam, you couldn't have said it more correctly. One of us will be working and we're, we're rooting for you, pal.
We'd love it. We'd love to see it. Go get them, Tiger. Well, you guys work a ton, too. No, I'm going to be doing this until I'm Mitch McConnell-aged, baby. I'm going to be freezing up on this tour. You better believe it, baby. And Blake, what do you think about that butthole? Well, dude, believe me, I would love to go on tour all the time. But Kyle's directing all the time. You guys are all... We're all doing all kinds of shit. I think it's awesome that we're using this time to go and go on tour together. Fathers of children. I'm retired, bro. I'm about to retire. I'm about to fucking retire early, dude. I'm so tired.
And perform in front of our parents and 12-year-old children. Oh, man. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Equally important, I just want to say this. What's up? Everybody listening who likes the podcast, likes Workaholics, please don't watch it right now. Like...
Because I keep hearing about how Suits was the biggest show in the world the last month and everybody watched it. They're getting absolutely railed by not getting back end or anything. So don't encourage your 12-year-olds to discover the show. I do not want Workaholics to catch on like Wildfire and be the biggest show in the world now. I, Greedy, want that to happen, Greedy.
after the strike. Yeah, in a few months when the strike ends. Yeah, then you can fire it up. Oh, yeah, baby. Let's get those. Once the strike ends, make a pledge to watch Workaholics over and over and over again and buy it. Or watch it now and then just in the future just put it on. Have it be fun background noise. Yeah. Tight butthole. Just, yeah. Admittedly, it is a good show to just have on. Suit? Because you can just kind of peek in and
And watch a scene and be like, oh, that was funny. And then go about your day. And it is funny. It's a funny show. It is still funny. I believe it's the funniest television of all time. Adam watched nine episodes last night. I was high on painkillers watching me and my friends. He goes from entourage to workaholics to entourage to workaholics. Dude, there's some episodes I don't remember. There's some episodes that I'm like, I don't remember shooting that scene even a little bit.
And then the other memories that I'm like, oh, I remember exactly. I remember what I had for lunch that day. I remember what happened in between takes. I can't go that deep. I cannot get those details in any memory. I still know all my lines and your lines, guys. Just kidding. I never knew even mine. Any take backs? Any apologies? Any epic slams? Hey, guys. Sorry for dropping out for a second. I have...
solar power installed on my house and we had a little snafu but now we're flexing our power baby oh flip that switch 104 degrees out it's really hot hot hot hot hot and uh we're getting power over here now baby all right good about it all right i guess it's not the superior power it goes out no well no we just switched over during this show so i flexed my power live on air
That is cool. Thank you for flexing your power. That's awesome. Interesting. I would like to say thank you for everyone buying tickets to this tour. It looks like we're starting to sell out all over the place. And thank you guys for showing up and showing out. TII Nation. TII, we love you guys. You don't want to miss this. Kyle, you're never going to... Kyle's so close to becoming a hermit, everybody. You're...
you're never going to see him. This is going to be it. I'm going to actually have like a, a wall up between me and the audience. A curtain works great. You can pull it open. You can hear everything. You can pull it open. Yeah. You'll be able to hear it. It'll be just like the podcast. Maybe at some point it'll turn into plexiglass depending on how safe I feel. But, uh,
I'm just saying. Kyle, how about we do this? You're offstage, side stage. We have your laptop, and we project you onto the back screen of the theater. No, I would like to be out there. I just don't want to be seen. I would like to be out there with you. We're going to work that out. Just going to have to work out the whole nerves thing and whatnot. That's it. Work out the hole? Work out the hole. Hey, all right. Mom, you hear that in the back? You hear that, Mom? See ya.
Hey, mom, 12-year-old, work out the hole, and we're out. Oh, my God. It's going to be fun. It is. I'll see you guys there. It's going to be a blast. I'll see you guys on the road. I think we have one more podcast, and then from then on, it's Road City, USA. Yeah, baby. Very shagadelic. And by the way, in the future, we're going to be dropping two episodes a week. Hello. So take care of your funny bone. We're going to be bonking it. Yeah.
That'll be good. That way it's topical when we're on the road. Storm chaser. We promise it'll be topical. Storm chaser. It's still going to be like, yo, Y2K was crazy. I unplugged my computer that night. It'll be like, you remember Jeb Bush? Oh, wait. Kyle. Wait. Blake was where? We'll talk about it next time. No. Next time. And more time.
What was he going to say? Say it now, though.
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