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This 40-year-old dump truck tried to come up and talk to me.
I wasn't hitting a lot of home runs, but I was hitting some loopers. Let's go! Go, go, go, go, go, go.
I'm still going to send it. I'm still going to send it, all right? All right. You guys, instead of a clap today. I did a snap instead of a clap. Is that crazy? That's insane. Breaking all the rules. You're so jazzy. Yeah, I've never done it before. You're such a jazzy cat. Is that the first time? That's a good question, Kyle. I've never done it before, actually. You've never done a snap before? You're one jazzy cat. Wow. Wow.
Wow, that's cool. Neither do I. I don't know if I talked with you guys about this. I did the MLB All-Star game. Oh, shit. You had mentioned you were going to do it. What position did you play? Because I'm really jealous that you were on the... Dude, I didn't play my... I was so fucked up. I already was like, I'm going to be a coach. Oh, right. You were going to be a third base coach or something, right? Yeah, I'm going to be a coach. And then basically that just meant I don't play and I just wear a jersey and stand out there.
You know what though? I saw you on Instagram doing some like pretty heavy torquage spinning your back with the bat. And I was like, what's this dude's deal? I was hoping I was, cause I was feeling pretty good. And I was like, if I feel good, if I can make it through this batting practice and I'm going to ask to play. And I was like, if I feel good immediately after doing that immediately after doing batting practice, uh,
My whole side seized up on me and I can barely stand. My whole. My whole seized up on me. Tycoon butthole. So did you swung? What stadium were you at? What field were you at? Seattle. And did you hit? You did batting practice? Yeah.
Did you make contact? Did I hit the ball? Yeah. I know how to hit the ball. Nice, dude. Okay. Did you get it out of the infield? I had a batting cage on my roof, homie. I know how to hit the baseball. That's true. Did you crank it? I'm curious about what that experience was like because I think hitting in a major league stadium is a dream of mine. We actually hit at the stadium next door, which was...
It was all divided off, but... Oh, never mind. What? Very shagged. It wasn't like you were at the actual stadium. It was the stadium next door in Seattle, which I think is the Seahawks Stadium. Wow. That one's huge. Is it indoor? Yeah, it was all partitioned off. And so we weren't just hitting in the field. It was a row of batting cages, and we were hitting up into the stands.
Oh, because they wouldn't let you guys play on the actual field that was going to be for the all-star game like that night or the next day or what? Well, because it was 15 minutes before there was already a crowd there. They had a full stage built because there was a band performed a performance. That's a bummer. I used to love watching batting practice. I would. That's weird. It's not at the fucking. I'm confused. It's weird. I'm sorry, Kyle. That sucks for you, dude. That sucks. And you didn't even turn into the game. Sorry.
Adam, will you step this out a little bit more for me? Yeah, feels over-engineered. So this is the celebrity all-star game, right? Yes. That's new, right? No. It's kind of new. And it was the same day as the legit all-star game is what you're saying, right? No. Fuck it! Nope, that's not what I'm saying. Okay, so step it out. This feels over-engineered. I'm saying that it's a celebrity all-star game. It's a...
It was Saturday, I think. And then the actual game was Tuesday, I believe. And then Monday night was way far away. Why wouldn't you guys just play in the in the stadium, a baseball stadium? They did. We did play in the baseball stadium, but the batting practice was done next door. Thank you. Fucking disaster, my guy, because it was already set up.
the people were already in the stands waiting for us to play the game. Right. So we were going to go take batting practice in front of them. And they weren't doing like public batting practice for all the people to watch. Well, there were, there were people there watching. It was like an interactive, like this is the fan experience. This is the fan experience next door where you go and you can take your photo, act like you're a major league, you know, hitter or whatever. I don't know. And then I just did batting practice and I,
Did okay. I was like, oh, I could actually do all right. I can play. But my God, dude, I was like Skylar Aston, who, uh,
is a way smaller man than me. He was in pitch perfect with me. And are we talking about, uh, leave it to Steve? What's the name of his show? I don't know. He told me, but I don't, he's got one of those shows where it's got like the name and the title where it's like, yeah, I think you should see. Yeah, no, it's not. I think it's time for you to flow. I should be steaming, but it's on, it's on CBS and a great, great guy, a friend of mine. But, uh,
Way tinier than me. So I'm like, oh, I'm going to be able to crush the ball farther than him. He hit a three run home run, like just melted it out. I was so impressed. He's an athlete. He's got good hand. I out of the field. Well, no, out of the because they lowered. They brought the they bring the fence in a little bit. To what? How far?
I don't, I have no idea, Kyle. Okay. I'm just curious. I don't know how much, you know, you know a lot about a lot of things, man. I'm just asking questions. I don't know. I bet, uh, I bet all of us could hit a home run in that field if it's the right pitch and you connect. No, baseball is funky. It,
I don't think I'm so bad at connecting onto a baseball. I'm not good at it. You can't hit a baseball? I mean, I can hit a softball. I don't know if I get hit a baseball. Well, it was softball. It was softball. So it's a celebrity softball game. What? Yeah. Oh, then I can hit it out of the park. What? Okay. I can hit it into the stadium next door. You can definitely clock softballs super far because they got a cork in them or something. I don't know if I've ever hit a softball with a softball bat.
Because they're like tinier bats. It was kind of, it was a little funky. It was a little funky. Sports are funky. Well, the softball bat is like the same diameter for longer than a baseball bat. A baseball bat kind of goes wide and then flattens out. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, like,
does a little V thing and then flattens. Why is that? I don't know why. I don't know why they do that in softball versus b-ball. Who cares? But I had a cool team. I had Donovan Mitchell from the Cavaliers on my team. I had Zach Levine on my team. Who? I'm sorry. Who?
Who from the Cavaliers? Donovan Mitchell. Oh, Spider. Oh, shit. Yeah, dude. That's pretty cool. He's the man. He was super cool. Yeah. Was everybody really nice or were people like truly competitive being dickheads or? No, everybody was super nice. I just don't know a lot. There was like a bunch of football players that for sure are very famous. I just don't know who they are because I don't really follow football. The helmets. You can't. Yeah, it's hard to tell. Also some baseball players that I'm like, absolutely. This guy's a stud.
baseball player. Yeah. Did not know there was baseball players in the celebrity baseball retired. Yeah, there was like retired baseball players. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Dwight Gooden. Jojo Siwa was there. Omaha zone. What? Okay. I would be starstruck right there.
How did she play? She played. She didn't hit a home run or anything. She played. Who is that? You don't know who Jojo Siwa is? No, I don't. I know who Devin Sawa is. Well, it's because you don't have little girls. Little girls like love her. She's like, where's the bow in her hair? She was like kind of a she's just like sort of a pop star.
I don't know. She was really big. She has a lot of shit in Target. She was a YouTuber who kind of blew up. Oh, yes. Target. What's the song? I don't know. Who knows? I don't know. Who knows what she does? Yeah. She's just like a product. Yes. That's fucking cool. She was. But then what was kind of cool is she came out as being lesbian. And then like that was like a big deal. And I was like, she's from Omaha. So I'm like, oh, is she? Yeah. And so I go, hey, I'm from Omaha. And she was like.
Fuck off. Totally, dude. She was like, you're not a girl. Get away from me. She was kind of not that cool. I don't think I like Jojo Siwa. Oh, damn. I'm team Siwa, bro. No, dude. You would hate her. She sucked. What's her deal? Was she focused or she just didn't care to talk to you? He's a seaweed. No, she just was very not interested in making any friends. She was like doing a lot of stretching. She was really prepared. Wow. How old is this girl? 20, maybe. Is she that old? Yeah.
She's like, this fucking 40-year-old dump truck tried to come up and talk to me. I mean, totally. Probably. Yeah, I mean, that's the real of the situation for sure. Damn, dude. But to be perfectly honest, I did not like her that much. She was not that cool. Okay. Shut up, bitch. All right, that's Adam's opinion. All right, fine, man. Fuck. I didn't have this on my 2023 bingo card.
He was saying like how cool JoJo Siwa is. I didn't think she was that cool. She wasn't that friendly. Yeah. She's a legend, mate. No, dude. Super fake. And when she was like kind of rude backstage, not really. What the hell? Adam. What the hell? You're doubling down. I like this. I actually like this. Some people got to tell the truth, man.
Dude, and when she came in front of the camera, she would light up and suddenly she's a different person. And then she wasn't that person before the cameras. Wow, dude. And here's the thing about Adam Devine is that he'll light up for the cameras. He's always on. He's also going to light up when he's going through security at the airport. He's going to light up when he's getting his coffee at the shop. And that's true, right? I'm so excited!
I mean, I feel like I'm not that different a person around you guys as I am when the... No, you've got consistent energy. You feel like you don't have days where you're like maybe tired and you just travel and you're like, I don't fucking really want to do shit. And now I'm here with a 40-year-old dump truck. So I'll give JoJo the benefit of the doubt. Yeah, maybe she's having a bad day. Maybe she was having a bad day. But when I met her, I was...
was going out of my way to be like, hey, I'm also from Omaha. Cool. Where are you from? This, that. Bro, you're a tryhard. It was like one word answers. It was like she hated either she hated Omaha or she hated me specifically. She probably hated Omaha if she was like
you know, like a young lesbian girl. And I don't know how accepting or is Omaha super accepting. I don't know. I'm making shit up now. I mean, I have no idea. I didn't grow up a lesbian girl. Well, you're being empathetic in a way. I'm just trying to show up for my girl, dude. I'm pissed. Yeah, it is weird that you're showing up for this person you've never met when one of your best friends is telling you she's not that cool. Never met.
Yeah. What team are you on? Well, sometimes when you have this person on a pedestal, it's hard to hear this kind of stuff. I don't know who she is, but Blake does. Yeah. I just like the hot goss. I really wanted to really like her because I'm like, this is cool. She's from Omaha. I feel like we'll have that. Right.
I know who she was just because she's super famous with dads with little girls. Yeah, she's a legend, man. And I have a lot of friends that have little girls. So I...
know about her and everybody was like she's from Omaha and so I'm like oh cool and I know I have friends that took their kids to the JoJo Siwa concert and lost their minds and they wear like rainbow colored headbands and shit and I'm like oh this seems fun for the you know fathers to take their little girls to and then when I met her she might have been having an off day wasn't that cool
Wish she was cool. Say it. Right. Okay. Fair. Yeah. Fair. Okay. Well, with that said, did your team, did your team, was she on your team? And we lost. And yeah, was it her? Was she good at baseball? How bad? Did you get slaughtered? Did you get slaughtered? What was the score? She was the last out. She was the last out. No, I think we, she actually was right towards the end. I know, I watched. Oh, boy.
And were you like, good? Refused to bunt. Refused to bunt. Good. She was asked to bunt. Really? So you were coaching from the sideline. You're like, I'm the third base coach. You listen to what I say. Oh, wait. Yeah, this is a coach-player relationship. She's like, why is the third base coach talking to me? No, I'm not the one. The actual coach. I was like just...
I was just saying it on the sideline. I was not giving any real... But refused. Didn't take the bunt orders. That's interesting. That's crazy. That's a wild card. I don't know that I'd like to have that wild card on my team either. He was ready to swing away. She said, no, ma'am.
No, no, Siwa. Bunting's hard, though. To be fair, she did. I guess she hit a home run the year prior. I guess she did hit it. She did? Yeah. That's cool. Is she jacked? She's not a small girl. Yeah, she's pretty big. Is it the outfield? Do you have to hit it to the outfield to get a home run? What's going on? It's like half the outfield, Kyle. It's like half the outfield. Okay, all right. It's a real hit. You got to hit it.
Yeah. You got to crank that. Yeah, you got to crank that, soldier boy. Is she on roids? Is she roided out, dude? No, I'm sure she plays softball. That's cool. She probably saw you as an adversary is what happened. She was like, this guy might be as strong as me. I got to just... Yeah, we're the same size, so... Yeah. Perfect.
But I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt because you are right. Maybe she just was having it. But she was nicer to other people. I saw her. And then when the cameras were on, she really lit up and was having the time of her life. Well, that makes sense. That makes sense to me. And you're in the background going, Omaha! I'm like, Omaha style-y. She's like, get away from me. Yeah. Omaha!
Not him. Not him. Not him. Oh, God. This guy. I think the coolest thing that the all-star game for baseball that they just started. Did you get to see like the bunt competition? That's like my favorite thing now where you try to bunt it in like little targets and stuff. It's kind of cool. Dude, I was so good at bunting when I played baseball. That's badass, dude. Like really good. And it's hard to do. Is it? It's actually like a hard thing to do. Why is it that hard? Yeah, because you have to like a...
You have to absorb the shock really, really well. You have to be like, and then fucking let it rock. Yeah. It's otherwise you pop it up. Do they bunt anymore in games? Really? I don't know. Yeah, not much, but I think they try. I mean, there's certain scenarios. Do they, do you know that they do? They never,
it was never like they were bunting like crazy. It's like, if you, well, I'm, I'm only asking because I know that the game has, the game has changed in a way where there's no longer like skilled hits. It's everyone's swinging for the fucking fences because someone crunched the numbers. And it was like, if you just go for a Homer every time, the odds are that you're going to score more.
Whereas they used to be like, okay, I'm going to go for a double. I'm going to go for a single. Like we need this. We need that. I don't like that. I'm going to stay right now. I don't like that. It was more strategic that way. And then someone did the analytics. They have to still bunt. They have to still bunt, but it's a certain scenario. So I'm just, I'm wondering if they even do it as much as they used to. The death of small ball. No, no, no, no, no. You just don't see it on like highlights. That's something that happens in like,
fifth inning when you're trying to advance a runner to second or you're trying to advance a runner. That's it. That's just strategy. I was only asking him because for like the base, the basketball all-star game, it's like dunk contest. People still don't three point contest. People are shooting three pointers.
Right. Is the bunting now like a fucking like, oh, they used to do this and now we kind of do it for fun on All-Star Weekend? I'm just asking. I honestly think it was something that came over. They did it at like the Japan, Japanese like All-Star Games is they did these like bunts. And then I think people saw it on Instagram and like, oh, that's kind of cool. Like it's like a little accuracy challenge and they're just trying to fill time. Are they doing that at the All-Star Game? They're doing bunts challenges? Yeah.
Yeah, it's like they put these big targets out and you try to make it in the middle of like the of the circles. See, that's fucking cool, dude. That's like baseball practice shit. You got to hit it down the third baseline in order to get to first base. It's that's not I did not know that. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever Kyle? We used to have a coach that like he watched some video of like how to train kids for accuracy where he put buckets all over the field.
And you had to like, he would like be like, okay, now you got to hit the second base bucket and landed inside the bucket or the Home Depot bucket. Yeah. It's just like a big ass. Like it was like a trash can essentially. Yeah. Yeah. It's very big. It's very big. Well, cause there's like, there's definitely spots like when you don't swing for the fences and you're just trying to do a looper for a base hit over the head of somebody and land into the fucking outfield. That's, that's a great skill to have. That was where I really shined. Just a little loop.
I believe that. I wasn't hitting a lot of home runs, but I was hitting some loopers. No dingers? No dingers. I wasn't going yard that often. Neither was I. I was a bunter. I did. I did a lot of bunting. I would love if they did like, what do they call it when you're like between two bases and they're like playing like the back and forth and you're like- Pickle. Pickle. Pickle. Yeah.
I would love to see like pickle, like a all-star pickle, all-star pickle. Like who can fake and psych and whatever. Yes. Joel McHale, his knee would just explode if we did that. You know, not with the celebrities. I'm talking about like the all-star dude, all-star caliber pickle. Like get the quickest, they get the quickest guys out there and then see who can survive the pickle. Oh yeah. And it can be brought to you by Blake. Say it with me. Gorillas Pickles.
I like Blake's the only one that didn't say it. You're the one who's always posting Grillo's pickles and then when we set you up. He's embarrassed. I'm embarrassed by you guys. He wanted to deal with Vlasic instead of Grillo's. No, Clausen. He's still reeling from the news that JoJo Siwa might not be as cool as... Yeah, man.
Well, what do you think, man? You just fucking cut the clip of my wings, brother. I was flying high there and then you just took her out, man. Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Fuck off, mate. I wanted her to be cool, too. Anyway, I'm just saying like more fun things. Like, don't they do like quarterback accuracy things for the football? Right. All-Star Games fucking let's be honest. All-Star Games fucking suck now. I don't know why I liked him as a kid, but they are so stupid and uncalled for at this point. You were stupid. You're a stupid asshole. I am, but you were.
Well, wait. Why are they... What's different now? Basketball used to be really good. Like, they actually tried. Like, Kobe Bryant was there to take heads off. Like, when it was him...
and Jordan was still playing and Kobe was West and Jordan was East. That was like a hell of a all-star game. They went at it. Yeah, because you had some rivalries. They used to care. They used to care. They used to be super competitive and now they're just not. Yeah, toxic. And they were like, well, guess what? If we're here, we're going to win.
Like, if we're here, we're doing it. We plan on winning. Yes. Now, it's like, you know, I feel like our society is like, winning isn't as cool now. Like, trying hard isn't as cool. Yes. Soft. Perfect. Well, they don't want to get hurt. They got the purse, and they don't want to get hurt in, like, the all-star game. Yeah. You're right. That mentality that Jordan had where he's like, I'm the highest paid guy. I'm the best. I don't, I'm not going to get hurt. Yeah. Now they're like, I'm the highest paid guy. I need to protect my asset. Right. Okay. Yeah.
I got something for your ass. I think what happens is, like, I forget what game it was, but, like, Paul George, it was some overseas game for one of those tournaments, and then, like, his leg just completely exploded. It's, like, brutal to watch, and it's like, oh, that shit happened not even in a real NBA game. Like, why am I risking the bag for something like this? Right. It is kind of risky because you're, like, doing, like, a second job or something. But you didn't because his –
But your money's guaranteed in the NBA, so you didn't risk the bag. No, but the team risked their player, though. Well, if you never repair. Yeah, the team risked the player. I don't know. Yeah, but that's the difference between bitches and assholes right there. That's such a bitch way to look at it. I agree. Which part? Which one's bitchy?
To be like, I'm just like so worried about getting hurt because you could get hurt stepping off a curb. Like there's all kinds of ways you could. Adam did. Adam did. Don't joke about that. Adam stepped off a curb and almost died. I agree with Adam on this. I agree with Adam on it.
NBA players, they play basketball all the time. It's not like they only play in the NBA. They play pickup games in the summer. You see the video of them. Yeah, you're in practice. I said practice. Practice. You're talking about practice? Like they're playing all the time. So it's not like...
They can't go all out at the All-Star game. Right. You can go all out. It's one game. Yeah, you should be able to. And by the way, they now like take the bench. They're like, oh, I'm going to sit out this game. I can't remember what the phrase is, but they're just like, they rest. Load management. Load management. And look, I understand that from like,
whoa, from a management thing. We're like, I want to rest my players. I don't want people getting hurt. Like I've invested in them, but guess what? If I fucking buy 400, $600 tickets to go see the Lakers and LeBron's not playing because of load management or whatever the fuck it is. I know he's not usually that guy, but like, what the fuck? Dude, I've had, uh,
I mean, I am the guy that did that. I bought season tickets to watch Kawhi and Paul George and the squad. And then those motherfuckers never played. It was like such a wasted season of me just going like, I guess I'll watch Reggie Jackson. And I like Reggie Jackson. He's good. He was a good player for us. But I'm like, he's not Kawhi. He came to see the star.
Yeah. So how often is there all the time? Cause like pitchers, you can't pitch them for like, but they're just load managing constantly all the time. Yes.
What the fuck is that? Well, now they're going to start making rules against it. It has gone a little out of control. Oh, wow. Then play fewer games. What the fuck? Play 70 games then. That's less revenue. That's less revenue. It's all money and politics. It's all money, honey. It's all money, honey.
It's crazy, man. Jumping over quarters to save pennies, bro. Okay. But that being said, Zach Levine and Donovan Mitchell were both very cool at the All-Star game. They're really cool NBA players to me. You know what I mean? Zach Levine, part of the greatest slam dunk contest in history. Oh, yeah. What a stud, dude. It was a fun All-Star game. Right? Like, that was... Not only was it like...
He was amazing, but also... Who's the other dude who he just went tit for tat with back and forth? Oh, Aaron Gordon. Aaron Gordon. Aaron Gordon. Yeah, that was a good one. Yeah, those guys were great. Doing absurd acrobatics in the air. That shit was...
Unbelievable. It was very cool. Donovan was the homie. He said that he was a fan, so I'm assuming he was a fan of Workaholics. And yeah, he was really tight, really cool. Zach, I'm not sure if he knew who I was or not. Jexy was my shit. But he kept being like saying things that are sort of like backhanded compliments. I think he liked me, but he kept being like, you know how when people, they're trying to say like that you're being funny, but they say like you're stupid a lot? Yeah.
You're being a dumb fuck. You're a goofy, goofy fuck. You are so dumb. You idiot. I'm like, yeah. Oh, man, you have Down syndrome, huh? Hey, you are not funny. Man, you are not funny. Yeah, I'm not sure if he liked me or thought I was funny or not, but he kept saying you are stupid and not funny.
Hey, will you leave? Thank you. Bro, put a mask on. You're ugly as fuck. You're ugly as fuck. And fat, too. You know how when people think you're really pretty, they tell you to cover up everything? Man, when you talk, I want to fight you. You know, especially when they think you're really athletic, and then when you say you're not playing in the game, they say thank God under their breath. You know, thank God because you suck at this game, dude. Thank God.
Thank God. That seems like you guys really hit him off. You said hit him off. You said hit him off. He said hit him off. That seems like you guys really hit him off. Shut up, bitch. Dumbass. How awesome it was to see these guys that are professional basketball players also just be fucking studs.
playing softball. Like they're great. Yeah, they're great at everything. Well, Steph Curry just won the golf tournament the other day too. That's right. Yeah, that was fucking nutty. Oh, that's sick. I like that. Like Zach Levine had like a jumped over the fence and snagged the ball to save a home run for us. Okay.
Like just like elite level play, like jumped over the fence, jumped like was hanging over the fence. It would have been a home run and he saved it. Oh yeah. Reaching. Yeah. And then genetics are crazy. And then Donovan Mitchell, it was like that Hank Aaron play where he's like dead sprinting and caught it over his shoulder.
Remember that? What do they call those? It's a basket. It's a basket. And he did one of those. I'm like, this is fucking Green Day's first album. It's a basket case. Yeah, he did one of those. It was truly impressive. You bite your lip and you close your eyes and then you catch it like that. You bite your lip. Points, points, points, points, points. I'm looking for it. Yes, points!
Yeah.
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So wait, was it like, uh, so were you guys like partying in the back or you guys fucking smoking weed? Are you guys chugging buzz balls or is this like, Oh yeah. Who's the blazers bro. Who fucking blows dro. Did Jojo Sawa out drink you? Yeah, dude. Did you beer bong? And you were like, I can't do it today. No, there was no drinking, uh, during the game afterwards. I had a drink with Donovan Mitchell in the lobby of the hotel, which was pretty tight. Uh,
Yeah. Yeah. He's a super cool guy. What's his drink of choice? I think he was drinking like a Bud Light. I hope so. It was like an orange juice. I think it was like vodka and orange juice or maybe a gin. Maybe a gin and juice. So a screwdriver? That's what it seemed like. Did you say a gin and juice? Yeah. That's kind of cool. I think a gin and juice sounds sick. I love gin and juice. Well, I don't know.
know. Donovan Mitchell is going to be like, I heard you on the podcast. I was drinking Negroni or some real drink. I think he was drinking gin and juice. No, it wasn't. It was like a juice of some sort or maybe he was just drinking juice. I have no idea, but it was pretty late. So I'm assuming there was some alcohol. You thought you were getting fucked up with him. He's just having orange juice before bed. Yeah, he's just having orange juice. It turns out he was like getting ready to leave. Like that's his morning. Meanwhile,
I went out drinking for three hours and then came back. Did you get to see a little bit of Seattle? I love Seattle. Seattle's so cool to me. Seattle is really nice. It is, yeah. We went to like the Warfaria. It's a weird word. The fish market. Isn't it the fish market? Yeah. The fish market. Went to a really great place called Matt's in the Market, which was this awesome restaurant. It was like
Joel McHale took me and Isaac to the restaurant with some of his friends. And we went and had this amazing meal. It's called Matt's in the Market, I believe. Yeah, and they're in Seattle. Matt's in the Market. Check that out. Yeah, it was really fun. And then we were drunkenly riding those Lime scooters all around. And we didn't get injured. Dude, that's dangerous. Didn't get injured, which I'm like... On the way there, before we had started drinking, I'm like...
oh, this is really scary. On the way back, I'm like, it wasn't scary at all. And I'm like, oh, well, that's how you really hurt yourself. Right. Because your eyes were closed. So with all these like lime scooters and stuff and basically like, you know, fast ass things, you don't have to wear a helmet. You don't have to do anything like that. You can just roll on the road. Like, let's go. What happened? Yeah, dude. How is that a thing? I don't know.
I don't know. It is interesting. That's crazy. Yep. Like, they don't have helmet options. Like, you'd think there'd be, like, one on the front of each one. Well, then because everyone would get lice. Yeah, everyone would just be trading lice. Yeah, you can't share helmets. It'd be a whole lice epidemic. It just always...
blows me away when i see somebody bombing like 30 miles an hour down the fucking road and it's like dude that's i would eat shit but when you see somebody who's good on one like down melrose some of those kids are unbelievable like hitting curves oh yeah they're elite elite level yeah that's sick so good you put like plastic bags in there to protect the helmet you know people are gonna shit in them you know people are gonna piss and shit in them good call adam
Yeah, you're the guy who shot down the helmet idea. I know. Have you been to Seattle recently? People be shitting. Adam's covering all the bases. He's like, and even if they put plastic bags in there, they're shitting in those bags. You know. Have you been to Seattle or the Northwest recently? People be shitting. Just put a bag on your head. Why? What's going on? What? People are shitting there? Oh, yeah. Yeah? There was human shit on the sidewalk. I saw a man smoking crack just on the sidewalk. I just want to party. It's a...
And they cleaned it up. I was like, oh, this is crazy. I was talking with Joel and his friends, and they're like, oh, yeah, they cleaned it up for the All-Star game. It's much better. I'm like, oh, that's crazy because this crazy crackhead just chased me and Isaac into the restaurant. Like, literally, he's like, ah! Ah!
And we're like, ah, ah. And we quickly ran into the restaurant. That was just JoJo Siwa's biggest fan. Yeah, that's a sea white. Sea white. That's kind of frightening. What are you doing, Seattle? That's kind of frightening. I think that's just the way of life up there, you know? For whatever reason. I mean, so yeah, Kyle, I was in Oakland for 24 hours. I went up there to do this trail race. Just did a trail race. Got some dinner and got the hell out of there.
uh, yeah, dude, Oakland. Did you drive or fly? They're having a good time. We flew up. We flew. Nice. Nice. You have fun in Oakland. You got high fee or what? Yeah. Yo, Oakland is wild. Like where were you? Uh,
Uptown? Uptown? Uptown Funk gonna give it to you? Yeah, yeah. Oh, right. I know that spot. And I did think about hitting you up. It would have been like, do you want to come to the city and see me for one hour or whatever? I don't know what it would have been. I was like, yeah, I wouldn't have done that. Definitely next time. Definitely next time hit me up. I totally would have done that. I 1000% would have done that. It really hurts to learn this way that you already know it wouldn't.
Yeah, it really does. It kind of bums me out. I'm like, fuck, I would have gotten a car immediately. Yeah, go run. Run the trails, buddy. But fucking a man. But fucking a man.
The streets were wild on that Saturday night. With some sideshows or what? In a way that you just can't do in LA or New York. So my theory is smaller cities, they just let you kind of get away with it because it's manageable, right? The doors of clubs just open.
open with the loudest music you've ever heard blasting out of it, right? Like the streets are loud. People are on the ATVs just like popping wheelies and shit, no helmets, like 12 year olds, right? And it's great. It's a vibe, but I'm like, you can't do this in like a bigger city like Chicago, LA, Phoenix, right?
But like in a town like Oakland, they're like, it's like nine square blocks. Like if she gets out of control, we can handle it. Well, I feel like isn't that Oakland's also sort of their personality? Like they're the hyphy movement started up there. So like that. Yes. The side shows, the vehicles, all that stuff. But even like even outside of the hyphy shit, like, you know how like in Portland, they're like, keep Portland weird. Yeah. I was like, Portland, you are not weird.
Oakland is on some shit. Like, everybody here...
Everyone here is walking a cat or has a snake around their neck. There's an artist community. There's an artist community. Everyone walking around is doing something you've never seen before. Right, right. Don't they say go dumb? They say go dumb. You go dummy. You go dumb out here in Oakland. Everyone really listened to E-40. Everyone really took his lyrics to heart. Too dumb. Very dumb.
Too dumb, too dumb. Get smart. Oakland was like on some next level shit in a way where I was like, you know, when you go somewhere and you're like, man, everywhere's kind of the same. There's the same Sparrow pizza everywhere I go. Yeah. And you're hitting it. We're going and we're going to express. But like we're losing the like vibe of cities. Everything's kind of the same. You get the same food, same shopping, whatever. Same culture almost.
Oakland is like, nah, we're still doing absolutely the opposite of what everyone else is doing. Counterculture. I loved that. I loved it because I was like, oh, I feel like I'm somewhere else. Yeah. Yeah. I love cities that like have identities. It's so fucking fun when you go somewhere and you're like, it's just unlike other places. They just, but it could be a little scary coming in.
Walking cats. Well, it's definitely like not shocking, but you're just kind of like, oh, fuck. Well, I'm sure if you see a train of people rolling with ATVs and they're going 12 o'clock on it, you're like, what is going on right now? Or like, yeah, what's the shit that they do now where they kind of like play chicken with cars and then swerve out of the way? I'm like, what are these kids doing, man? It's nuts. I know. Where they just go. Yeah. Yeah. You ride the wheelie straight towards oncoming traffic and then
whip away just at the last second. You dip. Yeah, dude. Oh, really? I haven't seen this. This seems insane. Yeah. Well, how many kids like because that's a learned skill, right? So how many kids like you can the learning process just drive into a Toyota Camry?
Yeah, I want to know what the... Oh, all the time. Yeah. All the time. Because those fails are in my feed. I see the kids just like... I love it. Somebody slows down or stops and then they just go right in there. And they don't give a fuck. And the person gets out and they're like, are you okay? And they're like, shut the fuck up. And then they just like walk away. Shut up, bitch. You know? They're like, all right, cool exchange. Shut up, bitch. Yeah, I don't know. That one eludes me. It doesn't seem that cool to do.
I'm usually down for the young go-hards, but riding towards a car and almost getting hit, I don't know. I don't know what that is. Yeah, that sounds kind of dope to me, admittedly. I think that is kind of cool. On a wheelie, too. You're on a wheelie? In middle school, before school...
kids would just see how many loops you could do around the school on a wheelie. That was like the entertainment while we would watch until they like open the doors to let us in. Wait, in middle school? On a bike. On a bike. On a bicycle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought they're just rocking ATVs around your...
Well, that's one of the greatest feelings. Can you guys do wheelies while pedaling or have you ever been able to do? That's one of the greatest feelings. The birth of your child and riding a wheelie. Right. And when your kid pops a wheelie. Have you ever been able to find that balance where you can pull it up and fucking still pedal? No. Not for very far. Not for very far. And keep going.
Oh, dude. Kyle, did you? Can you? Kyle? Probably not anymore, but yeah, I could do my court and back. I could do... You could? Oh, yeah. I could go up and down my court on a wheelie. No problem. Well, wait. Your best friend, Blake, is kind of calling you out a little bit. I don't remember.
Will you post a video so we can see this? I feel like that would have stuck with me. I don't remember you hitting that. I bet I could get pretty close right now with the right bike. For sure, I could find the fulcrum. Okie dokie. Oh, but you do need the right bike. And if you're listening, specialized bicycles hook my guy up. You can't pop a wheelie on any other bicycle besides a specialized bicycle. That's true. I think I could find it. It's like, yeah, it's just great. Back to you. I would love to see you try. Yeah, I would definitely try. No problem.
Well, now we know what we're going to do on the live show. We're going to get you a bike and we're going to see it. I'll come to your city and in the parking lot of the theater, he tries to pop. This was like when I could ride. He'll do it on the stage. What are we doing on the parking lot? No, I need it. You need a runway. You do need a runway in order to do that. Otherwise, it's like a.
No, you don't. You need a little bit of a runway. Not really. What do you mean a runway? It's a big stage. We're going to be playing big theaters. To pedal? I'm talking about riding like this. What are you talking about? Yeah, what are you guys talking about? Then you could do it in your court. I guess what I'm saying is if you do it the length of a stage, that's enough for me. I don't know about these guys. I bet I could do that. I bet I could do that. I don't want to speak for my fellow TIIers.
You lose. Hey, and we're going to have to prove it because I guarantee you we can get a bike shop to loan us a bike so you could do it. It's got to be a special. I was also decent at a unicycle.
You know what I mean? Like, I was all right at the unicycle. Okay, flexing. That's not what we're talking about. All right. Well, your best friend, Blake from childhood, doesn't remember either of these things, Kyle. Yeah, I never saw you ride a unicycle. He's just got to think a little bit farther back. He's got to really think about that shit. No, I remember the kid at our school who rode a unicycle. His name was Elliot.
and he would ride around the city, ride around school on a unicycle and like, I know who you're talking about. He wrote it to school and shit. And he could juggle. This is Blake's first hero. Elliot is such the name of a kid who rides a unicycle and juggles. Like you named your kid, Elliot, you know, he's gonna, he was good. He wore a fedora. Yes. He's wearing a fedora. He was cool. And he kind of like talked like this. And it was always, of course he did. Yeah.
I don't remember this. You're a fucking disaster, my guy. Isn't that crazy? That's exactly how I'd imagine it. Does he also wear a scarf sometimes? Does he also wear a scarf? No, vest. He wears a vest. He wears a vest for sure. He definitely had a vest. Yes, he had a vest with a t-shirt under. Yes, and he had the little fedora hat and he would do the unicycle. How do people find that? That was such like a bad look of the vest and the t-shirt under. Maybe some little pins.
on the vest. Oh yeah, there were pins. Oh yes, very much. It was like, if you considered yourself a real creative kid, but really all you do is draw dragons, you definitely had that outfit. That's pretty creative. I don't even know if that's a dragon drawer. I'm with you about the creativity, but the dragon drawer, I feel like that's a different genre. They would have one thing that they would draw. It wouldn't be like they're a
animation artists that they have this huge... I would say the vest with the fedora person, they have a comic strip that they write called...
Dude, he might have. I think it was like... Like a Calvin and Hobbes type thing? But it looks like Doug funny? Right. It's very heady. I like that. Kind of heady, kind of for adults. Trying to be, for sure. It's called like Imagination Nation or something? On the back was a map of the school and where he's going to put bombs. What?
no elliot was nice dude that's the dragon kid the dragon kid also has like he's pretending it's a castle he's drawing but really it's like schematics for the high school this is a castle wait your gym your fencing gym is in the same place as our gymnasium what's going on with your castle buddy we're gonna storm the castle from the back why do you have lockers what do you have lockers in your hallways of your castle man shout out to elliot he was actually a really nice guy man of
Of course he was. I guarantee you he had great parents who were like, yeah, you can do anything. Ride that unicycle to school. No one will treat you. No one's going to talk about it in 20 years. I think he locked it up. Did he lock it up in the bike rack? I feel like you did. Hey, man, this is Oakland, dude. Blake said you better lock it up. By the way, you're not from Oakland. So yeah, you're not from Oakland. No, man, there's just speaking my truth, bro. I know, bro. It was crazy. We sag.
What? So, wait. We sag. You sag after? Uh-huh. Let's sag our pants. That's true. We sag our pants. Yeah, all right. But it was conquered. This was conquered. Yeah, you did. You didn't grow up in Oakland. Did you guys have a bike cage? A bike cage? Yeah, we did. At junior high, there was a bike cage. How high is the fence on that bike cage? It was high.
It was like a box. It was almost like a wrestling hell in the cell. That's where we had fights. I don't know what a bike cage is. What is that? Dude, we used to lock our scooters up in there. We used to ride scooters to school, like pedal scooters, when it was not
fucking cool, but we were doing our thing, bro. Pedal scooter. Like the Huffy style. Like a Razor? Yeah, like where you stand on them. You know, like one wheel in the front. This was pre-Razor. Like inflatable tires. Inflatable tires. Yes. With the one handbrake. Yeah, this was pre-Razor. That's important to point out. This was very much pre-Razor scooter. We were getting the old...
scooters from like Toys R Us and fucking... Is this Nash? Who's making this? Who's making the scooter? I can see it now. Because sometimes they had like white tires, right? Yeah. Those were... I feel like girl ones had white tires. Okay, so? Well, no, mine had white tires. What are the bike cages? Explain this to me. We did not have this. Oh, it's where you had bike racks and then there was like a cage that was like 12 feet tall, like a fence around it. Why wouldn't you just... It would get locked up
So people can steal bikes. Yeah, so you can't just cut it and throw the bikes over or whatever. Cut the locks. So you locked it in there and then you locked them in the cage. Because during school, people would just come and steal bicycles from our school. Really? Yeah. Like older kids, older kids, like, you know, people who graduated high school or high schoolers. Or just adults. Adults who need bikes. People who graduated high school. Right. Older humans. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, you like you lock your bike up at the bike rack. You lock it to. But the racks are all in a cage. Yeah, it's double. It's just double locked. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. We did not have that in Omaha. Yes. And so five minutes after the bell, the cage is locked. You can't get your fucking bike out. And then like five minutes or like, I guess when you're let out of school, the security guard unlocks the bike cage.
Well, shouldn't the security guard just kind of be around the door anyways to see if someone's stealing? He's got to eat snacks. No, he's got to be. He's inside breaking the fights. Yeah. He's eating snacks. Kids are fighting teachers. Dude, he's in the water fountain area. He's like cruising. Yeah, that's true. Dude, my middle school is out of control right now. Apparently, there was a fight with like 40 kids where they broke the arm of the security guard. I'm living in a nightmare. Yeah.
They broke the arm of what? Of like the security guard got his arm broken and like quit. Oh, kids are fighting teachers now because there was a fight with 40 children going crazy. And parents are like, we're going to pull our kids out of school. It's it's social media. I feel like it's everybody's just trying to get like hype off social media. So they're like, if I fight my teacher, I'm going to be a legend.
And you see all these teachers. I mean, we had kids fighting teachers all the time, but it was not 40 kids breaking arms. Yeah, that was more like broken home. That's a battle royal. Sure, yeah. Now I feel like it's for the internet. It's no longer just like you hated this teacher. You've had enough. You're going to fight this person. Now it's like, hey, film this. Film this. Film this. Watching grown men fight like...
pretty jacked 13 year olds. Yeah. So sad. Is the most fun thing. It's like peak entertainment because it's like man who hasn't worked out in forever but he's he has man strength. He's furious. He's got man strength and he's got fury bottled up where he just slams a kid to the floor but then the kid is like squirrely and pretty strong. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
It doesn't go as intended. Yeah. Now you're talking to her. This is, this is the UFC. I want to see just got armpit hair and is like ready to go. Yes. A just sprouted kid that just sprouted armpit hair might have a little wispy mustache. Right. Just going toe to toe with a 50 year old, uh,
you know, shop teacher who hates his home life. And this is what you want to see. Yeah. This is what I like to see. You want to see this out of this is entertainment to you. Absolutely. And then like some woman would get pushed over almost always. And then everyone would be like, stop. And they would go like, help up the woman who got pushed over. And then the kid would be like, still standing there, like furious, but like new, like,
shit was bad. Now you're in trouble. Yeah. Oh my God. Damn. I remember we had a pregnant teacher who got pushed over in a fight and I'm like, Oh, I'm like, lady, maybe just don't even walk in there. Yeah. What the
hell yeah maybe just like shout she was a hero she was trying to be a hero man and they pushed her down so your middle school has always been a little wild always for the night the best yeah yeah yeah it's not so good yeah is there footage of this 40 man battle royal this freaking royal rumble i don't know i don't know if they have security cameras now they probably do that's crazy
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I posted the juvenile little desk and Ders was like, Oh, I saw that dude. Ders was like, this is, this is just my high school. He's like, this is my high school at lunch. Like every day. Yeah. I loved that. This is just lunchtime at high school, which makes me go like, I wish I went to your high school because it seems so fun. It was an amazing time when they brought in the, when they brought in the violin, the two violins for the, or the, the strings. That is not my high school.
That was tight. There were no violins. There was a Sprite bottle and a pencil for drums. You know, Trombone Shorty was back there. Did you see that, Kyle? Yes, I did. Yes, dude. Yes. Our boy, Trombone Shorty, New Orleans legend who we had on House Party. He was back there. John Baptiste, who won all the Grammys and is the sidekick of Colbert. Colbert's his sidekick. He was there. It was sick. He had the whole, I mean, obviously, Manny Fresh.
It was Ludacris NPR Tiny Desk. I was like, man, that went off. No, Juvenile. Oh, sorry, Juvenile. Ludacris. Ludacris needs to do one. Those Tiny Desks are great. Also, he should do one because I bet hits would be pretty banging too. It was cool, man. It turned out really good. I liked it. I also feel like
I just saw GWAR did one, and I'm not kidding. What? They're like full makeup. That would be an interesting. Yeah, they're also like plugged in electrically, so it's just kind of just a GWAR concert, but without blood. But it was kind of funny to see that as well. Well, they always don't. They're not acoustic. Tiny desks aren't acoustic, though. They're just like they're kind of brought down to like. Scaled down. Yeah, stripped down. It's minimal. Is it the new MTV Unplugged, essentially?
Pretty much. Now, am I crazy? Yes. I don't love it because it's just kind of like kitschy. You don't love it? What, the tiny desk? You don't love the tiny desk? Yeah. Yeah, I feel like it. What pisses you off about it, dude? It seems like a good time. Yeah, it does. Yeah, I think it's actually sick. It's pretty cool. I just feel like it's a weird crossover that I don't like. You feel like too many people like it, so you fucking need it to upset you. Yeah, that's right.
That's exactly what it is. Too many people enjoy it. It brings too many people... This is bringing joy? It's bringing too many people joy, so Durr's does not like it. I kind of want to shut it down. Look at him trying to understand joy. He's trying to comprehend. My eyeball pops out on a spray. Yeah, it just glosses over. It's no good. It's not the joy thing. I understand joy. No.
Which one fucking pissed you off, dude? Was it Olivia Rodrigo? Which one? Which one didn't you like? Honestly, I've just only seen like...
I've never watched a whole one through. It seems corny. That's all. Okay. Well, corny is like... Corny? Why? Okay. That's subjective. That's fine. Corny is cool. It just seems corny. It just seems... No, by the way, this is just my opinion. I'm not saying it's bad or it's not creative. I'm sure it is. No, I would love to walk down this path with you because I don't see it as corny. What about it is corny? Just like the fake...
like the audience kind of watching. Yeah. The bookshelves. I just don't like it.
Okay, well. I just don't like it. So is this in response to juveniles or all of the tiny deaths? What are we responding to here? Okay. But when you watch the juvenile one, that didn't bring you any joy being like, wow, this is fun. It's like my high school. Like I'm taking right. Imagine if juvenile walked into my high school, got a slice of square pizza, and then sang back that ass up. You know what I'd rather see? I would just see. I'd rather see.
Evanston Township cafeteria, the show. That's what I want to see. Yeah! Hey, well, dude, pitch it. Well, yeah, but there's no, nobody's going to like, there's going to be far less people tuning in for that. I'm going to just let you know. I doubt it. I bet it would blow the fuck up. Wait, whose desk is it? It's a tiny one. Who? I don't know. It's a tiny one.
It's NPR's. It's like an NPR's desk. It's NPR. He's like the music writer for NPR. Oh, yeah. It's the guy's desk. The guy whose desk it is. Jeremy Desk. I don't know his name. Richard Desk. Yeah, fuck him. He's like the music critic for NPR. And it is funny to see their little office staff just in there just fucking...
grinding to slow motion for me, slow motion for me. I wonder what the first one was. Cause it has kind of really picked up. I don't know. The first one I saw was the roots doing something. That's the first one I remember seeing. Yeah. The usher one was great where he's doing the, uh,
The peace sign. Watch this. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Watch. Watch this. Watch this. Yeah. Watch me. Watch me. Yeah. Usher, dude. He's on a fucking tear. How long has Tiny Desk been going? Like, it's got to be like at least like seven years or something like that. A handful of years. I'm seeing some real some real hipsters in these pictures. Yeah. This has been going on for a minute. Yeah. I feel like it started in a major hipster way. Yeah. This was a hipster way. Since 2008 is what Todd is saying. Yeah. 2008. 2008.
Damn. And why is it big now? Why is it bigger now more than ever? Because it sucks? I feel like it's been big a long time. It's just a few of them have hit. Like the Usher one hit last year and it became like a very meme-able thing. And then the Juvenile one is just super fun. It's meme-able. The Juvenile one was just a banger. Well, because it's Juvenile. Yeah. It's like when they would have like R. Kelly on Jimmy Fallon and he'd be like, we're all the biggest R. Kelly fans in the world, right? Here he is doing In the Closet.
And you're like, yes, sir. But where are you going to stand after he gets... Where are you going to be when he has all the accusations? Where are you going to be then? Where is Jimmy Fallon now? Scrub it. Scrub the episode. Scrub it. Hello!
Allegedly. That being said, I'd love to see it. No, but it just seems like... How many people like Juvenile that are watching the tiny desk? I don't know. I mean, me. But that's what I'm saying is I think Juvenile has been such a source of... He is imprinted in the fabric of... How many tiny desks have you watched, Adam? Two. Yeah, thank you. So you like...
I don't know. Like truly everybody knows back that ass up. Like everyone. Yeah, I agree. My mom knows that song. So much. Your mom knows that song really well. Y'all are aware my mom knows that song. She get up on a tiny desk. My mom knows that track. But he's so much part of the mainstream that like, yeah, like every like that. Everybody's going to want to watch that. And it's.
Yes, it's kind of going against what it originally started as, where it's just like hipsters in a hipster setting doing hipster-style music, and now they're like... Right. It was all bands you haven't really heard about. But now it's like GWAR in Juvenile, so it's like turning it on its head. Yeah, so to me, it's like a sketch. It's becoming... That's kind of corny. I see what you're saying now. That's what I'm saying. It's definitely becoming inflated, and it's like... Is that how you want to watch Juvenile at Little Desk? I want to see him in... I enjoyed it. I enjoyed watching him there. Well, no, it made...
The reason I liked it was because it does it. It felt like you were there. Usually when you see an act like that, Adam, you weren't you weren't there. I know, but it felt like that. That's the cool thing. Yeah, but you weren't there. It felt like you were in like someone's office and he was performing at a desk.
And it's like a small, very small desk. Well, I think there's times when you want to hear music in a completely different style, like how they would do Metallica with the San Francisco Symphony and that shit. Yeah, also stupid. Well, it's just interesting. I don't know. No. Oh, yeah? You turn it on? I'm not saying he's not interested. I'm saying that that was dumb, too. So you're telling me you didn't love the Linkin Park-Jay-Z combo? Yeah, because...
collision exactly what i'm saying how does that how does that happen oh my god covered this somebody some fucking some fucking new dj should start remaking tchaikovsky and fucking bach and just run that shit for how long those symphonies are and see what that does that'd be sick okay i bet it's out there save this idea i don't even know if i know what you just said
Save this idea for the live podcast, dude. Yeah, dude. Wouldn't that be epic if you just all of a sudden got remakes of like Bach or like fucking Beethoven or Tchaikovsky? Those are famous composers. Dude, I promise you the kid on the unicycle named Elliot has done that. You haven't heard the disco remix of the Star Wars theme? Come on, Kyle. This is done, dude. I have not heard that, but that's disco. Yeah, you haven't heard the da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-
This is building on that. This is building on that. Yeah, you had a cool idea that happened 15 years ago. Oh, no. That's from like 1978. Oh, yeah. This is really old. That's where I live, dude. I got the idea if it's already happened. All his ideas were really dope ideas in the 70s, 80s, 90s and early 2000s. That's true. I mean, that is very, very true. Yeah.
Hey, me too, buddy. It's done. What else is this similar to that also sucks? Loaded question. Well, did you like Unplugged? Because Unplugged was a different way. Unplugged was cool. So why did you like Unplugged? Because that was like a, you know. Because you were younger and you hated things less. Yeah, you hadn't felt the pain of childhood fully. You weren't as jaded. It didn't seem forced. It seemed authentic. It seemed like.
It didn't seem like... It just seemed authentic. It seemed real. This seems like a fucking kitschy kind of like, well, this is kind of funny. That's all. Yeah, but don't you think you have to find a way nowadays with the influx of media to get people to look at you? I don't have to do anything. It's science. There has to be some kind of kitschy kind of like...
weird thing nothing is real nothing is authentic everything everybody knows everybody's watching all the time to like true your emotions right now Blake those are authentic
Yeah. Well, maybe. And look, and you're not laughing because it's real. Yeah, maybe that's. Oh, and Kyle has weed. That's pretty cool, dude. Speaking of authentic, this guy's right on brand. Dude, I've been smoking a lot lately. Those are. Have you? Those are the little selfies, aren't they? Tiny joints. I like those. They're little. They're these guys. Oh, the pure beauties. Yeah, I like those. Yeah, I love these. Pure beauty. How's that? How do they stack up?
to the rest of the weeds out there. They're good. I'm more of a lols guy myself. The pure beauties are a little more expensive and a little smaller for whatever reason. Points, points, points.
But I'm a Lowell's guy. You know what's weird? This joint is so small, right? And I want one that's smaller. Really? The selfies are smaller. Selfies you truly can crush all by yourself. I want one that's smaller. So why don't you just hit a pipe?
Because smoking joints are way better. I don't like the butane. I'm not all about the butane kind of thing, I guess. Butane? Do a match. You are, so don't. Can you imagine that? I think about this because I smoked for so long and I smoked weed for so long. I think about when I light a lighter and I'm taking that first drag and inhaling it. Isn't that fucking horrible for you with the butane? Don't you think so? Nah. Dude, I guess don't be a bitch. Come on.
It's fine. Kyle, it's too late. You did it for 20 years. Yeah, you fucked up. I know. It is too late. I mean, you're nine years old to 29 doing that? 11. 11. Yeah, 11 to 30. 19 years. There's so many things that are going to take you down. The light, it probably isn't going to be it. Yeah.
All the other things that you've done to yourself are what is going to take you down. Didn't they used to say that the most deadly and poisonous drag of the cigarette was the very first one? Okay, this is what I'm talking about. I remember hearing that, that they said the very first hit, all the poisons are in the tip of the cigarette or something like that. No. But is that real, Bam? Definitely not real. I think the first one is the worst because then you're smoking a cigarette after that. Frickin'
There you go. Adam puts two and two together. That's good. Give him some points. The worst one is the first one because now you're smoking cigarettes. Yeah. There's going to be a lot more to come. That's true. The worst one was the first one. Yeah, there's all sorts of propaganda like that to just keep kids off drugs. Yeah, come on. Be honest about it. They're not that bad. Cigarettes are fine. They're kind of cool, dude. They're kind of cool.
All the propaganda against smoking. Yeah, everybody's like shitting on smoking cigs. There's so much. Dude, it's bullshit. You got to look behind the money. Who's going against cigarettes, right? Dude, well said. Somebody is out there getting rich and taking the money you were spending on cigarettes and applying it somewhere else. So I'm just here to back up cigarettes. Vapes. Any take backs, apologies? Kyle, can I give a compliment? Yeah. Yeah.
I'm going to give a compliment to Kyle for not getting into vaping. Oh, yeah. Wow, dude. I feel like sliding door style, if Kyle was 10 years younger...
Huge vapor. He would have been the vape king. He would have been in those contests in Vegas to show how much vape can come out of his lungs. Yeah. Blow a ring through Bilbo's boat or whatever. What's the rhyme? Yeah, blow a boat through Bilbo's O. That's a lyric from Toby. Like, vaping is like 100 times worse than cigarettes, right? Because you do it all the time. You carry it indoors. You drink.
You never stop. See, again, that's big anti-vape telling you. It's actually good for you. I'd be really good. The fruit flavor is healthy. Have you guys heard about the vape shit that's called the bad shit that's called popcorn lung? Like you develop popcorn lung from this shit? Delicious. Delicious. I've been told that that also happens with smoking cigarettes or smoking anything.
Like, smoke is just not good for your lungs. Yeah, smoke's bad. I don't think it's specific to vape, but... Yeah, that's why I'm not sure about even smoking these anymore. Because I'm like...
Should just be eating. Yeah, well, for sure, smoking isn't good for you, but you smoke way less weed than you did cigarettes or kids do with vapes. You know what I mean? You just smoke infinitely less. Yes, that's very true. Very true. I don't know. Kids vape so much. Kids be vaping, dude. That's what I'm saying. You smoke less weed than you do. Because you smoke a joint and then you're high for a few hours and then you might smoke another one later. But like, you might.
But with Siggy's, dude, like there was time when we were making workaholics, I would smoke 40 a day at least. Nice. 40 cigarettes? I believe it, dude. I remember when Kyle almost started our house on fire from all his cigarette butts. Bro, Orville Redenbacher over here. Two packs, dude. At least two packs. The orange American. Two packs an episode? No, a day. A day? Two packs for John Wayne-iness? This dude counts per episode.
Yeah, no. Yeah, I was two packs of the orange American spirits at the end there. And what is the orange as opposed to the blue that I'm familiar with? American spirits were weird. They were like, it's pure tobacco, no additives. But I don't know what that means. Kyle thought he was being healthy. He's like, this is basically a salad. Fucking thing sucks. And they had cool colors like orange and yellow and blue. I'm smoking a salad right now. Yeah. Yeah.
The blue is the traditional and orange must have been like a flavor or like no filter. It's like lights or ultra lights, which I never really understood what the lights and ultra lights are. And did they taste the same or not? Really? You could really taste the difference between like a light and a full, full fledged. They're harsher for sure. I remember I liked the light ones. Yeah. The light ones I could smoke more of, which that was the goal was to smoke a lot.
Have you smoked like a Marlboro Red? Those shits is fucking hard, dude. Camel Red, dude. I never did. I remember when Blake went through his whole smoking phase when he would like... Hey, man.
Sometimes you just got to take the edge off, brother. Would you smoke like one an episode or something? That's a wrap. I'm going to save some of this for later. That's a wrap. Sorry. That did me right. I'm going to finish this later. I do think I went outside after filming an episode and saw Blake smoking. I was like, this is a phase. I saw him. Yeah, dude. I saw him smoking once in his Jeep, like driving home. Me too. I'm like, when did you start smoking? He's like, I take, I have one every once in a while. Take the edge off. I smoke now. It's cool. I'm like,
What? We're 30 years old. Why would you start now? Don't care. Yeah.
Dude, it took a lot to be Blake Henderson. Well, I would like to start the Take Back's Apologies Epic Giveaways, and I would like to apologize. Ders started it. I started it with a compliment. Well, he's starting it up again, bitch. Goddamn. I'm going to start it up again. Then I'm going to wrap it up. Adam has not been listening. Yeah, I tuned out about 20 minutes ago. I like what Ash says. Oh.
I'm going to start it. Well, I'm going to add to it. And, you know, I'm going to give JoJo Siwa the benefit of the doubt because she did suck when I met her. She was not cool. She was not cool. And I didn't like her.
upon first meeting and I was prepared to really like her so it bummed me out but maybe she was just having an off day or maybe she just absolutely doesn't give a fuck about meeting me which could very well be the case
So, yeah. Here's my theory. Here's my theory, you guys. Because we're striking right now and Adam can't do press, he's saying crazy shit like this so that it goes viral and they go, Adam Devine, star of a movie we can't talk about, went after Joe. Is this what's happening, Adam? Yeah, that's brilliant, dude. No, none of it was premeditated. It was just... And that's how you know it was. Okay. Okay.
Fair enough. He's chess, man. This is why I'm so good at it. Uh,
I just want to give a special shout out to Elliot. Wherever you are, may you still be unicycling, drawing dragons, wearing vests. He's in Oakland. He's there. Oh, yeah. He started the movement. Walking his cat. He's walking his cat. He's living in Concord. He's the mayor of Concord now. I love you, Elliot. I miss you. What's up, Big E? Big E, baby. Does he remember you? Now, Elliot, he used to wear the...
the vest with the t-shirt underneath. What do you think? What's the equivalent of what kids wear now? Do they still wear the vest with the t-shirt underneath or have they moved on and they wear something slightly different than that?
Is it one of them see-through things like you wore, like a see-through crochet thing with a t-shirt underneath? No, those are expensive. Those are hot boys. Those are cool hot boys. I was trying to dig on them. I was trying to dig on them. I would argue it might have circled back at this point. Yeah, it might have looped back. That kid might be wearing that again because, like, 90s, a lot of buttons on this vest. Mm-hmm.
yeah they're watching tiny desk you know yeah dude that's true tiny vest yeah tiny vest you know he's probably working at the points from kyle i like that oh that got points wow i don't give it to you man that's a buzzer beater i wish i had a buzz ball okay hey a moment of gratitude for the points a moment of gratitude
What would be the version of, what is that outfit? The vest? Like, what is a, it's like a theater kid, but he's not fully entrenched in theater. He's more of an outside creative. I don't know who that person is. I don't know. We just are all tapped out. Is it like, we got to go back and do work at our middle schools. Fuck. I'm starting at the pants and I'm starting the pants and shoes. I'm like, are they wearing like dress shoes to school? Right. Hmm.
Yeah, maybe a loafer. Yeah, they're for sure wearing some kind of loafer slip-on, like slipper, like a nighttime slipper that they're wearing to school. Right. Or bowling shoes. They might be wearing, stealing some bowling shoes. Yeah, classic. Good call. Great call. Bowling shoes is a good look. I like that. Because it's like, oh, how'd you get those? Well, I'm a little naughty. Watch me juggle. Yeah, I stole them. Right. I stole them. What are you going to do? Yeah. I forgot I was wearing them. Oops. Yeah. Yeah.
This kid knows magic too, right? Oh, for days. Absolutely. He did lots of coin tricks. What are the pants? Are they tight or are they loose? Corduroy's. Corduroy's. Corduroy's and or like the golf pants. They're a baggy dress pants. Thick cords, man. Like a real loose, I feel.
what's the tapered like fucking like uh like 20s big baggy pants like newsies pants or something is that what you're looking at yeah they're like they're ready to do some like tap dancing like gregory heinz tap dancing pants like pleated dress pants yes yeah actually i want to say he also wore a lot of uh cut off jorts as well which was kind of sick yeah okay this guy's tight never mind hey elliot's the shit dude
Elliot's cool. He is. I bet that they're tight. They're the tight cutoff shorts, though. Just now. Yeah. He's going to show his hog. I mean, that's the one thing I forgot to tell you. And by the way, in Oakland, saw a guy probably 50 walking with a chain wallet and the chain was dragging on the ground.
It's science. Oh, yeah, dude. That's so sick. Yeah, that's fire, dude. Just so somebody can step on it. That's so sick. I got a buddy that still rocks a chain. Well, that's probably his way of saying I don't have a wallet. It's kind of like the thing with, like, you know, cars get bit all the time out there, so they just leave the windows down. So it's just your way of saying, like...
There's no point. Don't rob me. Right. Yeah. I have nothing. Right. There's no wallet. Yeah, there's no wallet. Why even steal from me? I have no wallet. But what's it attached to? Zero. Sometimes you could attach it to the belt in the belt loop. You can't just like stuff it in the back pocket, right? You can attach it to the belt loop in the pocket. And actually, I feel like at that time, there was pants that were made with a loop that you didn't have to have a wallet. You could just connect it to your pants. Real poser shit. I love it. This is what I feel like. Well, that's...
Those are called dungarees, and they're to put hammers in. No, not down there. On the back wallet, specifically for your wallet, to look like you have a wallet, but you don't have one. I feel like this is a thing. Is the chain wallet just so people don't steal your wallet? And so you don't lose it. And it bikers. It's bikers. It's sitting on a motorcycle, and your wallet falls out the back. Oh, and the vibrating, because it eventually will flip out from the...
That's why they got the snaps on it too. So it can't open. It just like, that's what, that's the original chain wall. And we learned a lot this episode guys. We really did. That's fucking cool. This is very, never stopped. It's all important. This is cool. It's all very, very important. This is another episode. Oh, this is cool. That's cool, man. This is cool.
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