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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important. Today on This Is Important. They just start whipping it out, flicking the bean, cranking down, right? Right there in their seats. Fucking down with the thickness. An airline toilet I am not eating out of because those are fucking ran train on.
And what is the horniest steak sauce? Let's go. Back, back, back, back, back, back. I cannot believe it's glob. I was just looking at my phone and I got the weirdest headline, which was Victor Webinyama. Hmm.
When is it? When? When? When? When? It's going to take me like four seasons like Giannis Antetokounmpo. It's going to take it's going to take me like four seasons to say that man's name correctly. But for Kyle, who doesn't know who this is, he's seven foot five NBA new NBA basketball player. He was just drafted. He is.
Everyone thinks he's going to be like the ultimate stud. And Victor Wembenyama was coming out of Catch Restaurant and Britney Spears was there. And I guess she goes up to Victor and goes in her British accent. She was talking in a British accent is what the article said. She was like, excuse me, sack.
Excuse me, sir. May I have a photo? Allegedly. And then she like grabbed his shoulder to like take a photo and, uh, or like, I guess his waist maybe. And, uh,
his head of security backhanded her across the face. Oh, my. Slapped her, dude. Oh, really? Slapped Britney Spears? Slapped B Spears. Yeah. Not Britney, dude. Did they not know it was Britney Spears because of the accent? Do you think that's kind of what happened? Yeah, that threw them, dude. They're like this British lady that looks like a Britney Spears. Yeah, that's justifiable. Whoa. Bop-a-sa!
So I don't know if Britney Spears is really looking how you remember Britney Spears right now. Well, it still doesn't give him a shouldn't hit her. No, you're right. I would say maybe don't slap. I feel like a ma'am do not touch him would probably suffice. A stern ma'am.
Right. A stern man or like just maybe moving her gently out of the way. Yeah. You got to assume that Victor Webinyama's security has to be giant, man. Sure. But to be fair to this guy. Yeah. Let's be fair now. Yeah. She's like a little terrier, man. He he he had he couldn't take any risks. What? Because she might bite his ankles. Stop!
He's protecting the future of the NBA. That is true. That is true. That is true. My goodness. But he's assaulting the fucking icon of pop music. So I don't know. It's God against the God. That's fucking weird. No matter how it is...
You're backhanding in the face? Is that what it said? That's not right. It's never right. I mean, yeah, that's what it said. It's never right. Okay. So is there a lawsuit happening? Is she about to? I don't know. I think it just happened last night. I don't know. So it'll be by this time. We'll have it hashed out by the time the pod. This is the most current event we've ever talked about on this podcast. But this is going to air in like two weeks, this episode. Oh, fuck.
Two weeks. It's a cold story. Yeah, ice cold story. Coming on ice. We're coming on ice. Do you guys... Restaurants like Catch are hilarious to me. What's that? Yeah, because the food's not really that good and you're just there to see famous people. Yeah. Is that what that is? It's like a trap? Yes. Okay. I don't know if it's a trap, but yeah. Have you ever been to Catch restaurant, Blake? No.
I know. Not at all. It sounds terrible. What is it? Like a fish place? I think you've been there, Blake, but probably for like an after party of a thing. Yeah, I think you've been there. This is in Hollywood or it's in Vegas? No, it's in Hollywood. It's off of La Cienega and Melrose. Pizza, pizza. Oh.
Okay. It's not like the second floor. It's like a rooftop deal. It's like a good scene, but it's... It actually looks cool and it's like nice up there. Yeah. But it is more of a nightclub than a restaurant. Like I ate there once and was like... It tastes like... This isn't... I mean, it's not like bad, but it's not particularly great for how much it is. You're like, let's just roll to the Cheesecake Factory and fuck some Chicken Littles up. Let's go. The Cheesecake Factory. Let's go. Let's go.
69 dudes hyped on but I do love that people just are like I guess we go to catch right let's go give TMZ let's bring people out of town that want to see Victor Webinyama and Britney Spears no but I'm saying like why is Victor Webinyama even going there
Because he's new to everything. I know, but he wanted to see Britney Spears. You got to take a hot lap of everything and see what you like and what you don't like. Hot, hot, hot, hot. I don't know if you have to do that. And also those, those NBA stars, they go to all the clubs and just, and,
And just women hang off them like they are human monkey bars. Very shagadelic. Like they're a little treehouse. They build a little treehouse. That'd be cool. Number one NBA prospect. I hope he turns out to be great. Yeah. It's been pretty bad lately. Like the people who will get all the pressure put on them, whether it's Zion or whoever, like...
People get injured. You know, it's a total bummer. Yeah, their bodies fail. Job plays fantastic, but can't stop pulling guns out. Dude, he's got to do it. Can't stop it, dude. Who can stop that? You know what I mean? Honestly. Yeah, what can you do? Well, I have another really hot, hot, hot, hot news story that I feel wasn't being covered, but by the time it's coming out now...
It may have been covered. Oh, my God. What up? That's like the news ticker. Go ahead. Are you guys aware that a lot of buildup Sriracha is a shortage? It's like not available. It hasn't been available for like the last three months in stores. Unaware of this. Unaware. Yeah. What's the deal? Very aware. I buy Sriracha often. I do, too. And very aware of this. Okay. There was another shortage about two years ago.
Oh my God. I weathered that storm and I bought so much Sriracha that I still have Sriracha. Well, you know that right now they're saying that's bottles of Sriracha they're selling for like $72. Like you can flip that shit right now. We know Blake knows the aftermarket. Yeah. $72. You can flip that shit on...
on the bag. You're selling that on Szechuan Market? Yeah. You're gonna sell some t-shirts. Dude, fucking don't even... Hold up, hold up. If you have Sriracha right now, don't even sell the bottle. Sell fucking drops. Okay. Sell Mealsworth and fucking break that shit and make more cash, okay? Mm-hmm.
Okay. I guess what you do, okay, hey, college kid, listen to this. You need some extra coin, okay? Here's a little hack. You make little packets of it. Little sriracha packets. I love it. And you just dole it out
like that you make a sticker of your dime bags exactly ders dime bags of sriracha baby yes that's where you get because i want to do so here's the thing sriracha there's other sriracha brands it's just none of them compared to what i call cock sauce it's the one with like the rooster yes that's like the fish that's the best that's the best one by far yes you call it that or is it not called the other sriracha i i i own another sriracha it's like sweet tasting i'm like i don't want
My sriracha's sweet. It's got to be spicy. It's got to be fiery. I tried the Tabasco sriracha. It's a little too, you know, tangy. It's just not the exact same. It's weird. All the off-brand srirachas can't nail it. It's kind of like with ketchup. You know how...
Well, guys, let's say it was the Heinz ketchup. 57, baby. We're all Heinz guys here, right? We don't have any Huntsman. Guilty as charged. Do we have any Hunts guys on here? Because you can hit the road. Guilty. No, sir. I honestly don't know what. Guilty on the Heinz, baby. I don't know what ketchup I am. I feel like I don't even know. The fuck? Oh, my God.
We'll go to your fridge right now and look at your ketchup. What do you mean? He's a Heinz boy. If you don't have Heinz, you're an absolute fucking joke, man. Are you kidding me? You're a fucking disaster, my guy. You're a dork. You're an absolute dork. Get out of here, dorkus. It is the one. And then mustard, it could be anybody. Any yellow mustard. Well, mustard, I think French's is kind of holding it down. If you get Heinz mustard, it tastes the same as French's.
That is kind of true. Just yellow though. Does it disparity between the mustards is not as, as great as between the ketchup. Less ingredients, less sugar too. You know what I mean? Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. If you say hunts, I'm going to,
Bust a nut. Oh my God. He's a Heinz gentleman. It's going to be some Whole Foods organic bullshit. That's my guess. 365. Fuck that. Why do you think it's Whole Foods? How am I organic, dude? Because it's just maybe Clow Dog was at the market. It's just where you shop. I'm thinking that Chloe shopped for it. No. You got some Erewhon shit. Yeah. No, no, no, no. Or you're going to hold up a bucket of Heinz at three gallons. Donkey! Come on, man. Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I'm a Heinz man. I'm a Heinz man. Yes! Absolutely. It's not that low sugar shit. It's not the organic kind. It's the real deal. The real... The high fructose. I live for this shit, you guys. This is fucking cool. We got one. This is cool. We got another one for Luke DeHaan's. I mean, what are even the other ketchup? I've said Hunts, but Hunts is for...
see you next tuesdays if i may say what else is there there's is fancy for cunts please don't say the word please don't say the word i put it together though what about i did is fancy ketchup is that a brand of ketchup are they just saying like this ketchup is fancy because i remember seeing fancy ketchup i think that's just fancy ketchup i don't think it's a brand okay yeah
Fair enough. So there's two catch-ups. I like the classic Heinz and then...
And then I feel like I also have Heinz mustard too then. Thank you. We were just kind of talking about that. We were wondering about Heinz versus French's because French's is what comes to my mind when I think about mustard. Me as well. I feel like that's what you put on the hot dogs. I think French's really leaned into the hot dog of it all. Do you guys ever do this little snack with mustard? Do you ever take like just regular potato chips and dip them in a little mustard? Uh-uh.
i eat because i'm on hopping no i put that on pretzel crisps and dip it into some mustard pretzels and mustard i get them pre-dusted honey mustard yes yes and we're talking um snyders we're talking a snyder pretzel i'm guessing no we're talking roll gold or whatever wow right and i go i go pretzel crisp i like the pretzels with mustard is fucking probably great yeah that's
That's proven. So wait, what is your number one preferred pretzel? Not brand. We can get into brand. Okay, this shit's important. Or you can say brand, but then also like shape, like deliveries, like pretzel rod, stick, big pretzel, big thick pretzel, the tiny little one. I know what I like. I know what I like. I know what I like. I like the thin sticks. Okay? I like the thin sticks, dude. Those are okay. Because you like to act like it's a little penis? Yeah.
Yeah, Adam, that's it. You got me. Where does he come up with this stuff? This guy is sick and twisted. No, when I was a kid, I used to like to act like they were cigarettes. Oh, let's go. Ashing them after you take a little bite, then you could do the little ash and some crumbs would come out. You know what I used to do with the little stick ones? I honestly, I would suck on them. I would suck on them. I knew one of us would.
Dude, you suck the salt off. I bet you do. You suck them. Come on, you guys have never sucked the pretzel? You bite the salt off with your little front teeth. You don't suck them. Yes, but then you suck it and the brown layer starts to come off and exposes the white layer. Then if you suck it long enough, it gets so soft and it starts to dissolve. Isn't that like a Lil Wayne lyric? You want to suck the brown off? Off the pretzel?
Yeah. Like the little salts. So Blake, with that method of your pretzel sucking, do you like the thicker pretzels or the thinner pretzels? Because you know they have the thicker pretzel rods. Do you like them long or do you like them thick? How veiny do you like your...
Pretzel rods. Yeah. Thicker. For me, the pretzel rod, the big ones, those are a little too girthy, a little too much pretzel for me. Yeah, your tiny little tot's mouth can't wrap your lips around. Yeah, it's not the size of the pretzel. But what about
Like thick, soft pretzels. That's different. Thick and soft. I prefer them hard and crunchy. Yeah, like a soggy, limp pretzel. No, no. Unless it's pretzel bites. So wait, hang on. Do you like to suck them until they get soft and limp afterwards? No, they don't get limp. That's what he said. That's his words. I think that's what he said. That's what he said. Let's go.
I'm a pretzel crisp kind of guy. I like a crisp. Which is what? Those are the chips. They're like chips. Yeah, they're like chips, but they're all made of pretzels. The flat ones. Let's go. The flat ones. Yeah, the flat ones. Wait, they're like a little square fence looking thing? No, they just look like they're flattened. They're like this. They're like chips. Yeah. Are they circles?
Oh, I know what you're talking about. They come in that big, giant white bag. Yes, and they have hot wing. They have garlic parmesan. But they're shaped like a pretzel. They're just flat. Yes. They're delicious. Okay, okay. And they are delicious. I got them. Yeah, they come like... I like the salt and pepper, personally. That's my favorite. Mmm.
And that's probably the newest delivery system for pretzels, right? Yeah, that's the new shit. Well, that's like a chip. It's like flat like a chip, but looks like a pretzel. Is that what we're talking about right now? Imagine a pretzel that just got steamrolled. It's blowing Kyle's mind. He can't even open his eyes. He's thinking so hard about these pretzel crisps.
The worst has got to be the nuggets, right? The little pretzel nuggets. I'm not. Oh, like the loaves, the little loaves. They look like. Yeah. I mean, when those are soft, they're cool. But when they're hard, I'm like, oh, yeah, those are the worst. Yes. Pretzel bites go off like little Duncan Wetzel pretzel bites. I will dunk the fuck out of those, bro. Yeah. Kyle, there you go. So you don't have to tax your brain anymore.
Me? This is a pitcher for me? Can I glob onto this, y'all? Yeah, I'm globbing on. Oh, yeah. These are definitely the newest incarnation of pretzel food. Don't they have the everything bagel version of this or something? Those are so good, dude. Yeah, the buffalo wings are also very yummy. You know what I like to do? I like to get the originals, and I just dip them in a jar of peanut butter like a freaking maniac. Oh, peanut butter is a good one.
That's a good one. I go hummus. I'm a big hummus boy on my pretzel crisps. Oh, yeah. Wow. Pretzels and hummus. Yeah, for sure. Why not? For sure. This is crazy to me. It is. You're losing your mind right now. Pretzel logic, which is a great Steely Dan. Steely Dan, baby. This is real. This is a great Steely Dan album. But you know something that I do not fuck with in the pretzel world? What? I don't fuck with pretzel buns, dude.
Not at all. Not a freaking all. Huh. Well, they interesting. I think there's a real they're too tough. Aren't they too tough? I just think it's like a lot of hullabaloo, but like it's a lot of build up for like something that's about to be good, but it just ends up being dry with like a little salt on top or something. Well, I
I think it, I think, I know what you're saying. There was like a time where Wendy's was like, we do pretzel buns now. It caught on, right? It was big. It was like, if you're going to have bacon on a burger, there was usually a pretzel bun squeeze. Right. It was a one, two combo. And I was always let down by the pretzel bun of it all. I got to tell you though, if Adam comes back with pretzel buns, boy, I might just suck the rod.
That shit's important. I'm going to suck the brown off it, bro. I might suck the brown off the raw. Give me that salt. Pretzel buns are good on sliders. I'm so fucking hungry. Pretzel buns are great. Pretzel bun sliders, like with ham sandwiches. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's not as good as a fucking Hawaiian roll. Like, give me Hawaiian rolls. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
no oh dude coming from hawaii bro we were all about our hawaiian rolls and they're the fucking best dog that was me on the fourth really yeah of course dude on the fourth i made sliders had some hawaiian rolls adam this is the way adam show me those pretzel those pretzel rolls boy
No, I didn't go get the pretzels. Because it's here. You see what they are. Where'd you go? I just was thinking. We're talking about all these products that we love. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Well, pretzel products. Hot, hot, hot. Pretzel products. I don't know if Blake had these.
Cause they're pretty fucking new. They just came on the market, but it's, it's Ashland. So we have the Ashland, uh, spirits, which are the fucking shit. We got to get dirt. Some of these. Cause I think you would, you would like these good. Yeah. We'd switch your boat. I think you'd mess with these ones. These are better. Great. Now, can you explain to me, like explain to me what's going on with them? What's the deal?
These are just vodka seltzers. So it's not... Hard seltzer isn't made with vodka. It's like brewed like a beer. It's a malt. It's a malt. And this is made with vodka. Right, right. They taste great. And then these are such a banger. Voyage...
Hard iced teas. And they have, this is a peach one, which I really fuck with. Okay. But they also have like a lemonade and it just tastes like an Arnold Palmer. I love it. With booze in it. Right. And they're fucking good, dude. Yeah. How many ounces is that big ass can? Yeah, that's a big ass can, dude. This is a 24. This is a 24 big can. Damn, son. Where'd you find that? Damn, I want to
suck the blue off that can, man. That is big. Yeah, you want to slob this one down. Yes, sir. But just for the record, no, you got no pretzel buns in there. No pretzels. I got no pretzel buns. Okay. Damn it. Okay.
Right.
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I wanted to ask, do you guys get this yet? Because I'm sending it to all y'all. Here we go. My guy, product toss over here. Yeah. Oh, I did get that. I got the bag from Nina, the Outlaws Netflix bag. It came with a little rosé. Dude, when I get that, I'm traveling with that bag, bro. That is my fucking bag. TSA is going to have your ass. You're an outlaw? Step right over here, sir. Rawr!
They're going to stop me, dude. Dude, just sent you money? Yeah. Cash-ish? Tons of money, dude. Dude, you guys are going to get my Oscar vote for sure. What is that? Is that a DVD? Yeah, it's DVD with DVD extras. Is that a DVD from Netflix? I love it. Yeah, they're in the DVD business now. Can you believe it? I don't think it is. Look at this.
I think it was just a piece of paper, actually. That's actually Nina's wine brand, right? She has some points on the back end for that or some stuff. Yeah, she owns, it's called Fresh Vine Wine, and Nina and her friend Julian Huff, they own that together. Smart.
Yeah, they put these sick little bags together, which was kind of nice. Damn, we need to start a wine brand. Did I send you my address? I remember when you texted. Yes, you did. I did, right? Yeah, it might be coming. It might be on its way. My number's still 911. Yeah, absolutely, baby. Do not come. Hello! Hello!
Oh, boy. We got stuff in the mail, baby. Blake, what are we doing here? We're drinking a lot of water, I've noticed. Oh, well, it's just a 4th of July recovery, but I have incorporated the Nalgene lifestyle into my lifestyle. What does that mean, Nalgene? That's a water bottle from the 90s. Yeah, you try to finish how many of these? Like five a day to reach your water quota? Yeah.
Oh, dude. Yeah, or he just read Solo Cup. How many ounces? Because I fuck a giant... I fuck up a giant Solo Cup. No, you said you fuck it. Go ahead. You said you fuck it. I fuck it. And now we know. I fuck this cup and my dick fits in there perfectly. I believe the amount of water you're supposed to drink per day is your weight converted to ounces per day.
Fuck it! They're not converted, but just pounds go ounces and then half of that. This is important. Does that make sense? No. Will you explain it? Pounds go ounces? What? That shit's important. Yeah, make it more confusing, please, so that no one does it. I weigh 222 right now, okay? Oh my... Damn! Son! So half that, one of them...
111 and then 111 ounces is what I'm supposed to be drinking bare minimum every day. Can of Fanta. It's a bare minimum. Wow. 111 ounces. Holy shit. I don't even know what that is. That's almost two gallons, right? Or is a gallon 64 or 128? I can't remember. You're supposed to drink like 10 cans of water. Water.
you're supposed to drink a fuck ton of water yeah you're supposed to drink more than you would think i'll tell you that much yeah can i tell you something there's no way there's 128 ounces in a gallon so i'm supposed to drink a gallon of water every day your boobs are huge no one is supposed to drink that not in the history of humans has any that doesn't seem like a lot to me well i drink that every day without a doubt the cause of diarrhea you drink a gallon of
water a day i'm living in a nightmare i drink so much water every day i filled this up probably 12 times yeah that doesn't seem like a lot a gallon feels like i would finish a gallon every day no matter what you guys are insane what do you mean well i will say that i recently saw about these now gene bottles that supposedly they are like you saw about them what does that mean like on started reading
I saw a story about them that they have... What's so special about these bottles? It's just like a bottle to put it in? Let him talk. Dude, they've been around for a long time. They've been around like the Nalgene movement. You haven't seen people carrying this around like dodos? Durst said 90s a second ago and that fucking tripped my ass out. They've been around for a while. That was like the currency at our high school were those fucking bottles. Yes.
But I heard I read a story or saw online or something that they have more germs on them than like a public toilet. Like they're very disgusting. Well, you got it, dude. You know what you have to do to it? Wash it.
put it in the dishwasher. Yeah, I did hear that you are supposed to wash them after every... You rub a dog's asshole on it. Yeah, you can't fist your dog's asshole with it and then still drink out of it. Unfortunately. A dog's asshole is cleaner than the human's mouth. A dog's asshole? I mean, I don't wash it every day. I probably should, but ever since reading that story, I haven't... You should. The amount of bacteria that's growing inside of that thing, you'd be surprised, Playboy. Yeah, but it makes you stronger. You eat it and then it's in your
body. Yeah, dude, who gives a shit? You're fine. I like that. I can get behind that. And again, you know, they didn't specify what kind of public toilet. Some public toilets are way more dirty than others, right? Like you read it. We don't know. And would you? Yeah. Would you eat a donut out of this public toilet or now we're talking?
It's science. Oh, God, Adam, remember that shit? You fucking did that. Bacteria. I was going to do the question, if you had to eat out of a toilet, what toilet would it be? Like a public toilet, but you kind of have already done that, so...
By the way, what is even an example of an answer to that question? Like an airline toilet I am not eating out of because those are fucking ran train on. Yeah, well, I'm not eating out. What's the one that you would? What is a public toilet that you would eat out of? Well, I have to think about it. Okay. Like maybe a yoga studio? Is that public? Oh, a yoga studio, dude? They all do hot yoga and just go and then just fucking hose shit out of their ass? Spray vegan diarrhea. Yeah.
Diarrhea. I don't even think that's fucking considered public. I think that's a private toilet. That is a toilet, yeah. Dude, I feel like maybe a library. We're back. Oh, that's good. That's homeless people. That's so much homeless diarrhea. No, library's smart. I'm not done. That's smart, Adam. Shut the fuck up. I'm proud of you. It's not smart. Just because there's books doesn't make it smart, bitch. It's so fucking smart, dude. It is. It's a...
It's a library in rural Nebraska. Oh, God. Okay? It's a library in the Midwest, not in a big city. There's not a ton of homeless people. Because you're right. A library in California is just a ton of homeless people jacking off at the public Wi-Fi computers. Tired.
Depending on where you are, you know what I mean? But like, not all of California. But I think that's probably the cleanest public toilet out there is the library. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Is it an Omaha library? No, just a library. Not even a smaller town outside of Omaha. Name one. No, it's a doctor's office. That's not public. That's not public, dude. Well, how is it not?
public you're fucking don't understand what public and private is dude and it's fucking pissing me and Adam off if I can walk through the doors and take a shit it's public you can walk into a doctor's office and fucking no you can't you can't just walk into a doctor's office and take a shit have you been doing this have you okay but I would assume
No, dude. They will go, excuse me, why are you here? Do you have an appointment? And you'll go, I'm just here to take a shit. And they'll go, please leave. How's that for an appointment, motherfucker? Turn around. No. Turn around. Unless you need an x-ray. Okay.
Hey, are you covered in shit? The only way you're going to take a shit is you have to be covered in shit in order for them to allow you through. This is in last week's podcast. I don't think you noticed, but I'm already halfway done. So if you could just let me finish, I'd like to use your restroom, please. Let me finish. Okay, I got to really think about what it would be then. You do. You do. What about Target? What about Target? Is that a public restroom? It is, but dude, Target? What about an Apple store?
Oh, good answer. Good answer. I don't think Apple stores have bathrooms available. They don't. Not any Apple store I've been in. I peed. Wait, so like... I pooped. But I've never asked. I've never asked. I've never asked either. Well, I don't think you can just go to the Apple store and there's no bathroom. Of the Apple stores I've been in, they don't have bathrooms.
I'm sorry. Hang on. We said Target. Target has bathrooms. Well, they do. Animal stores have bathrooms. I just don't know. I don't know if they're open to the public. I mean, I also think that technically both of those are private bathrooms. I think you need to be purchasing something. So then Target's got to be off the table. What the fuck is a private bathroom?
public bathroom. But Starbucks is like an exception to the rule. Would you buy a laptop to take a shit somewhere? Dude, public is a public, like the city council. Like, that is a public because you pay your taxes so it can run. Much like a post office. Much like a DMV. The House of Representatives. What about a police station? I bet those toilets are pretty nice to eat out of. No, they're not.
Yeah, that's like hard black coffee, dookies. No, they're not, Blake. Do not eat out of a police station toilet. That's just Chipotle. You know, and like cops. Remember when cops just parlayed from donuts to Chipotle? Dude, fucking bunch of cops assholes just fucking hosing down this bathroom. No.
I'm living in a nightmare. There's a public bathroom. Like, I mean, if you're in a stadium, like that's a public bathroom, right? So isn't it a bathroom at an Apple store? But you did pay to get in. Yeah, I think Target is a public bathroom. I know. So if I get some like new headphone tips at the...
Right, right. But it's not public because you do have to pay to get into this stadium. The word we're looking for is like communal bathroom. What's the cleanest communal bathroom that you would eat off of, right? Oh, Dodger Stadium. That's not the word we're looking for. Is this not the word we're looking for? Wait, I got it. I got it. Dude, I have the answer. I have the final answer.
A church. A church bathroom. Take me to church. Huh? Huh? Take me to church. I don't think so. They're underused. I feel like they're underused. People are afraid to shit in the house of God. There's no way. People are shitting in the house of God. Oh, yeah. You're praying that it comes out clean. Dude, any time I've ever been to a church, I shit. Had to shit. Yeah. Got to get the demons out. Absolutely. Absolutely.
Absolutely. Gotta exercise the demons. Absolutely. Thank you. But it's probably a holy shit. It's probably a clean shit. Holy shit. Yes, points. It was just right there. Yes, points. He just threw that away. Damn, man. I didn't even know it was coming out of my mouth. It was like a pretzel stick. And the callback does not land. But hey, you had...
Whatever. It reminded me of a simpler time and I liked it. Damn, man. I'm going to suck the brown. Where else can we take a shit? Can we milk this for 22 more minutes?
Yeah, I think we could maybe think of a couple more places we could shit, but I mean, church was the number one answer. But this is eating. This was eating out of the toilet. That's what we were talking about, which is just nasty and gross, and shame on us for even talking about it honestly. Yeah, I don't like that anymore. That's yucky. Yeah, shame. Shame. Shame. I'm so off that question. What about like a Sephora? Ooh.
Can you use the bathroom at a Sephora? I don't know, dude. I feel like Sephora chicks are taking huge fucking dumps, dude. Like, bad. Like, really, like, nervous energy shits. Like, they feel a little...
Keep going. Go ahead. Yeah, keep it up. You feel this? Yeah, I don't think you're wrong. I don't think you're wrong. You feel this? It is funny. I feel like Sephora workers tend to be like a little scatterbrained, a little like uptight. They wait till their break. As soon as you said Sephora, instantly I was hit with waves of gross anxiety shit. You know I worked for Sephora.
Tell me more. You did? Yes, because my aunt used to work for Sephora, and when they were opening a store in the Bay Area in Walnut Creek... Blake in full makeup, like, welcome to Sephora! Well, hello, bitch! With, like, lash extensions. And, like, cat eyes. Whoa. Welcome to Sephora! You had to wear all black. All right.
Dude, no, I wasn't actually on the floor while the store was open. We got the store ready. It's open. Get out of here, you ugly weirdo. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Hide the troll. Hide the troll.
They're equal employers. Let me do it, all right? I just had to straighten my hair and wear all black. It was cool. Shout out to my Aunt Jamie. So what did you do for Sephora? So we stocked the shelves. It was before the store actually opened. I didn't know that store existed that long ago.
I thought it was like within like the last 10 or 15 years. Sephora? Sephora's got to be 30. Adam, you got to remember he's a coastal elite, right? Yeah. He gets things before we did in the Midwest. That is true. As a coastal elite, it hit there first. And also, this is not as long ago as you may think. It wasn't high school. I was definitely like, I think...
at OCC and then it was like a summer job I flew home and then oh you you came home all summer when we were at OCC I didn't I didn't know that I think I would take large large trips back yeah you know take large shit huge fucking dumps at Sephora
And so when you were there, you were like, so you'd go back from college all just tied up. Your guts are all tied up from all the bean burritos and all the Del Taco and shit that you're eating. Oh, my God. BRC burritos. You start to work at Sephora and you're anxious, dude. You're there. There's so many pretty girls. There's so many pretty smells. Yes, dude. There were a lot of pretty girls. And I know my Blake Anderson's getting.
a little flustered. And so you just go in these bathrooms and just light them up. Yeah. I'd be like, well, it was, it was like connected to a mall. So you would kind of use like, was this at sun Valley? Where were you? No. What? There's some mall in Walnut Creek that it was that it was like, Oh, like Broadway Plaza. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. The outdoor mall. I don't know. I was, it was such a nervous time for me that I hardly remember where I was. It was a lot of pressure. It was like all girls and me.
you know, I just, I feel like I had a lot of zits at the time and it just was like, it was really, it was really scary. This is good. Well, there's a, there's makeup everywhere. Yeah. You're in the right place for zits. I feel like I had zits. I wonder how I could cover these up. Well, that's why I felt super self-conscious about my skin because we're like literally working in a makeup shop. So I was like, Oh God, don't worry. Those girls were painted up like, and so you were like, so, so exactly how does this foundation work? Like, uh,
I don't remember you being that zitty in college. You were a zitty boy? I feel like all of us had some zits when we first met each other. Zits were still, hormones were raging still. I don't think any of us had particularly horrible, but Blake is just a very anxious young man. He was a very oily young greaseball.
He's a very oily, greasy. Oh, no, we did. Because, Adam, I used to borrow your stridex pads and shit. I remember we used to do that. Yeah, I had stridex pads. Those were so bad for you. Those just used to torture. It was bad. It was bad.
Well, yeah, torch them, light them up. But I also feel like, you know, when you're young, you're just like, you see one zit, you think it's the end of the world. And it's not, everybody. Just, you know, leave them alone. You'll get through it. Your skin starts to balance out. It's true. You just have to have a better routine with your face and stuff like that. I used to get like, I never got like zit zits, but I would get like razor bumps. You know what I mean? Hmm.
I would get like a rowdy fucking white head that would just be like, I used to get like zits, but that like on my dick and like open sores and stuff. Right, right. Do tell, do tell. Allegedly. Yeah, just like, just, and they would flare up and stuff. Oh, you've got the floor. Right.
You guys did have that? Open source? Tell me a little bit more about the open source. I don't know if Sephora sold any kind of makeup for that. Yeah, so I go into Sephora and just dip my dick in a bunch of foundation. He's back, he's back. Are these free samples? Sure, you're fucking mascara. Stop closing that compact on your dick, sir.
I'm a dude. Sir? I gotta take a shit. Sorry, I always have to take it there. Sorry. Just trying to cover this zit on my... That's it. I gotta take a shit. That was one of my favorite things in Workaholics when like just trying to think of a funny way to like exit a scene and just, well, I gotta take a shit. And then you just exit. Wait, this is a serious question. Do they have like cock makeup? Do they have makeup for your nether regions? I think it's just makeup. Yeah, it's just makeup.
I don't think it's specific. But you mean, has anybody specifically capitalized on this within the business world? Yeah, sure. It might be a hole in the market. Well, we got to talk to our friends over at Dude Wipes and see if maybe... I'm a dude. We can...
add some like coloring to the, to the wipes. Yeah. You're not, you're not wiping things off. You're smearing things on. I love dude centric products. They're very cool. Dude. Remember Dr. Pepper 10. Yeah. The fact that they pivoted away from that is the saddest thing.
It was such an insane campaign where it's like, Dr. Pepper 10, it's for men. I'm a dude. I'm like, never, never, ever will we go back to a time where a corporation decides to market things only for men. I don't know. Dude wipes. You just talked about dude wipes. I feel like there's a beer that's going to be around the corner that's really like excludes everyone except men. They're like, this beer is for men only.
Only. Hey. Yeah. And then we'll drink it because that's hilarious. Wait, do we want to talk about how we did an episode? Have we talked about this on Workaholics? We did a whole episode where the guys are like obsessed with Dr. Pepper 10, making sure no women in the office were drinking it.
And because the ad campaign in real life was Dr. Pepper 10, it's for men. So we were policing, making sure women were drinking it. It's ours. We finally have something that's ours. Yeah. Right. Slapping it out of their hands like Britney Spears, that catch baby. Yeah. Get on. And then we were reading like a review of the episode and it was just like fucking giving us the hardest time for like such an obvious like episode.
ad like sellout yeah look at these guys and we're like we didn't get paid any money nothing from dr pepper 10 a time it was completely story based they backed the truck up on us yeah i wish i wish we got paid no not even it was just so absurd although what did i watch the other day someone posted the like old carl's jr where we're like nice buns yeah
yeah and she's like what'd you say and like that was in an episode where some girl punked us pretzel buns at carl's junior wasn't it was it pretzel buns i think it was sourdough nice lumpy buns i'll suck the brown i wouldn't mind licking the salt off those buns nice was a dialogue from our show i want to lick the brown off your buns and then she's like what the
fucking tongue of this the sandwich she was cool yeah and that was a carl's jr sponsored every once in a while we would do something because really we didn't have that much money to make our show so anytime we wanted to do any stunt we
We couldn't afford to do it. We had to get creative. We'd have to go sip the teat of Jack Link's jerky. What was the triple thick burger that you guys had to do? Triple bacon, double cheese. Oh, yeah. Was that a real sponsorship? Double beef. Something.
We thought it would be, it was really hard to say. And so we were like, wouldn't it be funny if you guys kept casually saying it back and forth to each other? And it was like funny on the page. And then on the date, it was like, fuck this. Like, we're not, who cares? This is so stupid. And we're like, they're going to send us $150,000 towards the budget. We got to do it. Actually, we're kind of tied to the bit.
Yeah, we have to do this to shoot the end of this episode. Yeah, we signed a contract and now we do have to say this over and over again. I think it's the Wendy's Swiss Melt Triple Thick Burger. Triple bacon, double cheese. Mushroom. It was a Swiss. It was a mushroom Swiss melt triple something burger. Pizza, pizza. I remember it being impossible for us to say and like to casually say in a conversation. We were like, this is fucking stupid. Yeah.
I always whenever I have a hard time with a line of dialogue I say this is fucking stupid and we shouldn't do that you blame the writers dude every time every time yeah this is so stupid who wrote this shit this is so dumb this is so stupid it's just because I can't wrap my brain around saying it yeah sorry Adam it's the crux of the film we just need you to say that yeah he's your father
So stupid. So dumb. He's your father, not a fat her. No, I'm not saying that. You keep saying fat her. You keep saying fat her. It's father. Okay. Well, that's how you would say it. And are you the actor? Are you the actor? Okay. I didn't think so. Yeah, you're in a courtroom singing and you keep calling the judge Ho-Nor. You're Ho-Nor.
Listen, you're a whore-noir. And then it's like... It's just a little confusing. Is it funny? It's funnier. Seems like it's funnier. This is a drama, Adam. Is it funnier that I say you're a whore-noir? This is the OJ Simpson show.
Who the fuck was his lawyer? Johnny Cochran? Tonight on the O.J. Simpson show. Oh, I'm playing Johnny Cochran in this rendition. No, you're Kardashian. You're definitely Kardashian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With that booty? I don't even know if I'm
No, not Kim. I know. I'm saying. I was going to say, did Robert Kardashian have like a backyard on him? Did he? That whole family bought their backyards. I know. I know. Great ass. Yeah, those aren't real backyards. Wait, what? It is weird. You're saying the Kardashian butts are not real. They're not. Yeah, they're not. What?
No. Blake. They're not. Blake what? I think that's the one building block of them. Like they are butts and then they form around the butt. Blake. Yeah. Buddy. But I know they claim that, but I don't think that that's... Is it real? I think they claim it, but I don't think that's real, Bam. I'm so disappointed in you. Unless we saw old clips of Robert Kardashian running around like that one dude in the super tight shorts who Adam used to talk about. Dude, I love that guy. I love that guy. Who's on the yacht with the big booty? Hey, everybody.
Yeah, where he's like training on the yacht and he has security. And then, you know what we're talking about, right? Blake Faye, the guy that runs everywhere in those tight shorts. In the khaki. No, but dude, honestly, I did think. No, but dude. I thought for sure the Kardashians, like that was the thing on them. No, no, no. They all look.
wildly different than what they used to look like. They all are fully... With the exception of Kendall is the only one who's normal? But it is a muscle and you can work it out, right? You could work your ass out to get to this. Absolutely. It's science. Okay. Alright. I'm just asking. Because what? You need a regiment? What if Kyle starts to get a fucking... You want me to write you some month off?
I don't know. What if Kyle gets a fucking donker in the back? That would be hot, hot, hot, hot. I just assumed it were implants. You've seen the before and after next to each other of Kylie. Yes, and I do know that as far as their faces go and stuff like that. Producers, please help us out here. Let's get some Kardashian before and after photos. I felt like the butt was something that they worked out, but also the building blocks for Kylie.
Good ass was, was there. Right. But do you think that they're honest about it? Do you think they're honest? That's, that's where I kind of run into a little bit of a, like, uh, I don't know, dilemma. Like, of course they want it to be. Yeah, it's real, but is it real bam? Yeah.
Would you do that? Like if someone gave you a million dollars, but you could only use it to like make over yourself, but you knew that if you made yourself super hot, handsome, cut, whatever, that you could use that to market it to make more millions, which is essentially what they've kind of done, right? Right. Would you take the million or would you just be like, I'm good? And you work at like a gas station in this scenario. Can I work at a Sephora? I don't think you can.
Guys, we have before and after photos in the chat. Please take a look. So as you can tell, they're changing very drastically. Well, but she's also, look it right there. What's the youngest one? She's a child there. You're going to develop beyond that. She's like, these are. Yeah, your nose is totally. I mean, but Kim doesn't look. She looks wildly different.
She changed her makeup routine. What is it? Contouring. I love you, dude. It's contouring. Kendall looks wildly different. Yeah, she's the one. She took the cake. I mean, by the way, great. Figured it out. You know? Hey, dude. I mean, they all look great. Jesus. Like nobody, people almost don't remember. Oh, yeah. That's the thing. I don't know who these people are. And also, Kendall did a great job because she now is super hot. And the others kind of look like mutants.
Sorry, you're saying Kylie or Kendall? Kendall. Kendall's gorgeous. Kendall, yeah, she wins. How many of them are there? Kendall, she added some stuff. She did some things. She did it right. Also, I've never really watched the show. Me neither. But I remember I watched, I think I feel like I've talked about this too, but she was on Leno showing her sick old Corvette.
And she was like very cool. And I was like, oh, she's cool too? Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, they all rock, dude. No, they don't. They're all freaking cool as hell. Are you kidding me? Kris Jenner rules. God, hate that you like the Kardashians, dude. Wow, dude. No, I'm into them. I'm fully on it. Favorite Super Family Go. Adam, favorite Super Family Go. The Jetsons. The Osbournes. Yeah. Ooh, the Osbournes. That's a good answer. Kelly Osbourne. Kyle, the Hogan's.
I was going to say Hogan's. Oh, really? You like racist Hogan's? But I don't believe that. That was just the first one that came to my mind. I don't think. I think I have to say the Coppola's, bro. The Coppola's. Oh, great answer. Yeah. A lot of tendrils out in the Hollywood. Yeah. The Coppola's, baby. Are you going to say the Biden's after Hunter? My dog, Hunter? Party animal? I love that video of him seeming like he is on cocaine. Yeah.
Yeah. And it just like dropped some footage of him like smoking crack while he's driving a car. That dude is... You got to feel bad, dude. Come on, man. Dude, what a wild man. That guy is a go-hard. Goes hard. I know. My God. Oh, yeah. You feel a little bad. Yeah. Just help the guy. But almost like... Do you almost...
But then have you seen the photo of Don Jr. getting polycharged? But Donald Jr. Get it. Just posing in like a flannel shirt awkwardly against a log. Yes. Yeah. That one made its rounds a while ago. And you're like, I'd rather have my son be a crackhead. No.
Wait, why? Because you're such a pussy just taking this photo by yourself awkwardly on a log, wearing boots that you can tell that are so clean he's never walked in the woods in his life. I'm like, this guy's just posing. Oh, just major poser. Yeah. Okay. I haven't seen the photo. He's a poser. Right, right, right. I'd rather you not be a poser and you smoke cracker.
I'm still going to send it. You're like an authentic drug addict. Yeah, I'd rather have that. Absolutely. At least you're authentic. Right, right. Drugs make me cool. Yeah, all right. So you want a rock star son who is in the news for really bad stuff. You're supposed to be the president of the United States, but your son is off the rails like it's a fucking 90s movie. Off the rails.
Wasn't that a movie with Michael Douglas where he's the president and his daughter is a full-blown drug addict? That is a movie. Is that Michael Douglas? What are you talking about here? I'm almost positive. Dave the movie?
It's a bagel. I like Dave, but Dave was like a body double, right? Wait, how is Dave a show and a movie? I'm just realizing. Great question. Holy shit. You think it's the same universe? Dave, see you. It's called The American President. The American President. Is that what that movie was about? That's a good title. Rob Reiner directed it. And that's not Bullworth? Yeah. That's not Bullworth. Oh, I don't know what Bullworth was after.
That is not Bullworth. No, it is a different movie. Yes. All right. No, that helps. All those president movies, they kind of bleed together.
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And did you guys finally watch Carnal Knowledge? Tell me, what'd you think? I didn't check that one out, unfortunately. Wait, did you watch The Running Man, Adam? Come on. No, I haven't seen it yet. I'm sorry. That's good. I was actually, we watched a movie last night.
And we watched Goldeneye just because, you know, the Outlaws is coming out and I'm all excited for it. And Pierce Brosnan is obviously the star of Goldeneye 007. And I realized I was like, I don't know if I, it was so long ago that I saw the movie that I don't even know anything about it.
Really? I can quote every line. Because I saw it probably in 1995. GoldenEye? Is that the one where Boris is clicking the pen? Yeah. He says, I am invincible! Yes, and then he freezes. Oh, sick, dude. That shit's cool. Yes, and then there's the sauna fight scene, which is dope. Just pure hella sexy. That was very sexual. Yeah, it was so good. I don't remember that. Was that Femke Johansson? Oh, dude, cool.
Chloe hadn't seen it. And she was like, my God, movies in the 90s were so horny. Like they would never make a movie this horny anymore because it was like wildly inappropriate. It's like everyone that James Bond works with, he's like trying to fuck. And he's like aggressively hitting on them. It's like, you've never had Moneypenny. It's like, well, you've never had me if my memory is correct. And he's like, not yet. And he goes, that's because I donkey punched you. Yeah.
Well, that bleeds over from all the movies. Right, right. Well, yeah. I mean, Bond was exceptionally horny, right? Exceptionally horny. Bond was a horny guy. Bond fucked, dude. That dude threw down. The whole thing with him and Moneypenny was kind of a little cat.
and mouse will they won't they baby. Check it out. Check it out. Right, right, right. But are the new Bonds I'm not a real Bond head so I don't really watch when a Bond comes out I don't jump on it. But I know Blake does. Yes. Are the new movies just as horny as the old movies? No.
There are more action movies now, right? He's broken now. Yeah, it's more about dissecting what it means to be like James Bond and the people you love or you fall for or die and just exploring the sadness. You're like an island. You're like this island of a man.
Yeah. Can never have a real relationship anytime you get involved. What, like fucking Batman? Yeah, it's like Batman. So that sucks. So he's not even... It's not even fun anymore. He's not just... Yeah, he's fucking Dark Knight Bond. But he's buffer than ever, which is pretty fucking cool. He's buffer than ever, which is tight. Yeah.
Yeah, because Pierce in that movie isn't... He's not buff. That wasn't what Bond was. He's just like a handsome man. Sean Connery wasn't buff when he did Bond either, right? He wasn't ripped beyond belief. He was just a fucking debonair homie. He just fucked the problem queen. He can still beat everyone's ass, dude. He's just a fucking...
It's a fuck machine. It made me miss how horny movies in Blake's favorite decade, the 90s, were. Like, really, really horny. I can get behind that. Maybe that's... I feel like that might be something that needs to be injected in films. Like, we should bring that back. Yeah, yeah. Why are we not being horny? Why are we not allowing horniness? It's because of the internet. Because you can't compete with the internet. Yeah.
So what all the horniness just has to happen by yourself on the internet. That sucks. That's not, that's a world I don't want to live in. And then, and then you're dude. And guess what? And you're shame. I don't want to live there. People will go. If you made a movie like that, people would be chanting shame, shame, shame. I want to make that movie. I want to make that movie. I want a horny film. Okay. I would love to star in a movie where I'm really horny.
Dude, I want to make a movie. Like the movie Shame. What was it called? Wasn't it called Shame? The Fassbender movie? Yeah. Oh, I never saw that. I know what you're talking about. With Fassbender and then you saw like his like pretty big cock. Yeah, his big juicy big. It was the size of a fucking pretzel. No, he's saying it was pretty. It was gorgeous. It was pretty. That thing is a fucking pretzel. He's trying to suck the brown off. Fucking down with the
I didn't see the movie, but I remember you guys just talking about in the workaholics writer's room. His car had a Snyder Snyder between his legs. He had the Zack Snyder. Go was a Snyder cut. I want to slide on the Snyder. If you know what I mean, it was a Snyder cut or Snyder cut.
I believe it was. Hang on, let me picture it. It was. Yes, yes. Yeah, no, shame is very funny. Yeah, but I would love... I'd love to be in a movie where I'm just...
just also really horny it doesn't even and that's sort of the subtext it's not shame is all about 69 i mean i don't know i haven't seen the movie but i'm assuming adam tell us what the movie you've never seen is about it's all about his sexuality shame is about addiction it's about sex addiction it goes into the dark side we don't want that we want just fucking good honest hornball yeah see that's not what this is about this is just we're this is just a
fun movie where I'm mad horny the entire time. Just a fun movie where I'm just... You guys should fuck each other. Well, we kissed. If that's
If that's what the story deserves and needs. Very shagadelic. We kissed. Yeah, I kissed him on the live podcast. My favorite actor. By the way, this is why you got to see carnal knowledge. Wait, who's the most iconic horny character of all time? Austin Powers, baby. Very shagadelic. Yeah, Austin Powers is horny. Very shagadelic. And dude, James Bond, probably. Jonah Hill in Superbad.
Very horny. Right. Yes, but that's like high school horny. Constantly talking about fucking. That's high school horny. That's a little different. Isn't that the horniest of horny right then and there? Yeah, totally. Well, yes, but I'm more impressed when it's like a spy who is still horny. He's seen the world. He's ate at all the best restaurants. He's still just horny as fuck for many, Penny, dude. Sure, dude, sure. I had forgotten he ate at all the best restaurants. Sorry. In GoldenEye...
the train like blows up. They just almost died like 12 times in a row. And there it blew up seconds ago. Debris is still falling and they're laying on the side of the train tracks and they look at each other and just start making out. And I was howling, dude. I'm like, that's the funniest thing. That's what gets them hard. That's the funniest thing in the world because knowing myself. Yeah.
I wouldn't, that wouldn't be what I would do in that moment. I'd be like, holy fucking shit. That was so crazy. We almost died. I'd be covered in my own diarrhea. I wouldn't, I wouldn't just make out with this woman. I just met. What is the movie? I know. Maybe I should. The Englishman or the gentleman or whatever.
The English patient. Those British agents. And then he saves the day. Oh, yes, yes, yes. He's running to go save the day. And she's like, you can't pull this off. You're not going to save the world. And he goes, how about if I do, I fuck you in the ass. And she's like, okay. Oh, that's the Kingsman. The Kingsman. And then he goes and saves the day. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Before he does anything else. Everyone's like, are you okay? He's like, I'll be right back. Hey, hang on. Give me 10 minutes. He goes and finds her and he goes, I just saved the day. And she's like...
All right, let's fucking do this. And then the tech guy is like, oh, I've got the eyeball cameras on. Am I looking at this? And then credits roll. And then credits roll. I remember. Ends with him. And is that the best movie that has come out in the past 10 years or so? It's the best ending. It was all right. That was like extreme boundary pushing horny. We want just people who fuck.
All right. Yeah, that's that's right. Like lethal weapon saxophone horny. Yeah, dude. Your boobs are huge. And fucking Mel Gibson. Like, let's like even Indiana Jones where he's like, where does it hurt? And it's like right here. Yeah. What is that? Yeah, I want I want I want it to be horny is happening. And then you just cut to like a curtain. Mm hmm.
kind of in the wind yeah like exactly it doesn't need to be graphic or gratuitous you need to just you need to make the audience feel horny well then you guys need to watch the movie twins oh my god I want people to be so horny in the audience they just start whipping it out flicking the bean cranking down right there in their seats you gotta watch the movie twins it gets super horny dude
That's a really horny movie. Twins? I watched Twins recently. When does it get horny? Whatever that woman's name is, she was unbelievably hot. In the nightie? Yeah. She's sleeping in the same room as Julian. Yeah, it's really good. Oh, right, right. He's nervous because he's never been with a woman. She's like, I'll take it from here. Well, maybe that was kind of like the action star kind of went hand in hand with those horny moments because it was always like...
You know, these these these hulking males with their butts hanging out. Well, and we got to get back there. We got to get the the action stars to be a little hornier. But were they horny or did they just did they make everyone else horny? And they were like, I got to deal with this. Yes. They made everybody around them horny. I don't know. Maybe 007 got into the nightmare of being a hot action hero and dealing with all the horniness around you. Exactly.
It's very interesting. Yeah, that's right. It's nuanced, and I'm glad that... We broke that down. Yeah, I'm glad that we did that. I would like to thank, for my 4th of July party, I was like...
I was going to go buy. I always should buy like literally thousands and thousands of dollars of booze for people to drink. And I remember I used to be the face of Captain Morgan. Remember when I used to do all those commercials? And Diageo, which is this huge company that owns like every liquor brand. They told me back in the day, they were like, if you ever need anything, if you're having a party, just hit us up. And so I was like, oh, fuck, I got to hit him up. I hit them up.
They sent me so much booze. They sent me 36 bottles of Don Julio 1942. Damn. You can fill a Nalgene with that. They sent me so many bottles, like something, 24 bottles of Kettle One. Holy shit. I got Tangeray, like cases of it. I got cases of Johnny Walker Black. Oh my God. They hooked it up so damn hard. So thank you, Diageo. Okay. The liquor brand for sending me all this free shit. It was the best.
Thank you, God! And by the way, if you guys have a party, just know that I'm going to be coming with bottles of Tangeray. Just handles of Tangeray ready to gift. Wow, dude! Is Diageo horny...
I missed the segue. Dude, I think with that amount of alcohol, anyone gets a little horny. Yeah, they're horny. So thank you. Thank you to them. And maybe some giveaways to come with those. Yeah, probably some giveaways of specifically the Tangeray. The Tangeray because I do not drink gin, but there's a whole lot of it. Gin is tough. If you meet somebody who's a gin guy, it's like...
Like a beefeater, bro? Beefeater is a really good one. Well, this is Tanger Ray. It's not Beefeater. That's a different company. Although my dad is a gin drinker. I guess he was a gin drinker. Yeah, I heard it gets you freaking torqued up, dude. Yeah, dude, it's alcohol. I drank it in college. Like a gin and tonic. And I just want to give a...
I want to apologize to Perennial Buns. I'm sorry if I came at you so hard. I mean, it's...
We're all a little offended by that. Yeah, it's my bad. I think we kind of started off with like the ketchup talk. Was that this week? And it just kind of derailed from there. I can't remember last week. But pretzel buns, they're not so bad. I like them. Yeah. I'm stoked that we're all Heinz-men. I'm really stoked about that. I'm happy too. That's a good thing for a crew. For a second, I didn't know. I didn't know. I think that was this week. Yeah. It was. It was.
And I didn't know that we were or that I was. And I'm so happy when I looked in that fridge and there was the Heinz right there. I was like, I'm part of the team. Thank God. Very satisfying. Welcome. You're one of the 57. Oh, this is like, that's a moment of gratitude. Yeah. This is a moment of gratitude. Moment of gratitude. 57 strong. Have you guys had Heinz 57?
Yeah, I think that's the one we have, right? No, Heinz 57 is a steak sauce. Heinz 57 is like a very specific sauce, yeah. It's like a steak sauce. I thought that was called 57 sauce. It's Heinz 57. So you could call it 57 sauce. But I thought it's all Heinz 57. Yeah, I thought Heinz 57 was also ketchup. Yeah, me too.
Heinz 57 is the one that's kind of orangish and says in giant numbers 57 on it. 57 and Heinz is the brand. Oh, I don't know that one very well. Zippy, kind of tangy. It's intense. What are you guys talking about? It's a steak sauce. You either are an A1 boy or you're a Heinz 57 man.
It's kind of one or the other. Or you're a fucking Worcestershire dude. Or you're a Worcestershire guy. Or once you start to have good enough steaks, then you hopefully aren't smearing steak sauce all over. That being said, I still like the A1. And what is the horniest steak sauce? Exactly. Exactly. A1 for sure.
I will suck A1 off a pretzel, bro. By the way, it's weird that we grew up eating steak with A1. If you had it, you're like, well, I got to get the A1. Got it. And then you get to a certain age and you're like, I'm ruining my steak with A1, right? Well, I think what it is is you start to eat a little. My family, we ate garbage meat and we had to have the...
The steak sauce all over it. The sauce. Yeah. And you go to nicer restaurants and they kind of look at you funny if you ask for A1 and you're like, eh. I don't like that. But that being said, I still have A1. I love it. Yeah, don't sauce shame. I still love it. I'm not saying A1's bad, but I am saying like...
I don't want to ruin a steak. Like it becomes obsolete after a certain time in your life. I would put it on a burger. It's good on burgers. I put A1 on quite a lot of things. I actually really do love A1. Do you keep it in your purse, Adam? I do. I always have it with me. That's interesting. I don't like sauce shamings.
My mom, I remember my, she would buy the knockoff a one sauce and she used to, my dad, we didn't have a lot of money growing up. And, but he was like, we're, we're going to have a one in this goddamn house. Absolutely. And then she'd buy the cheap knockoff shit and then put it in the a one. And like,
I saw her do it. So I knew this was happening. And my dad never knew. Never knew. Years and years. He was. Wow. I hope he's not listening. And you know, she never like changed the bottle. So it's just like the same. Like it expired. Like it's the same. 1989. And it's 1994. And he's still, he's still using it. Never looks at it. Talk about a twist. Yeah.
Diarrhea. Betrayal. That's a betrayal. Are we in the apology? Is this the end? Yeah, this is the end. Let's get the fuck out of here. I feel like, and we probably should have said this last week based on when these things air, but I just want to apologize to Dish Walla. We didn't make it out to the show. Wow. Oh, man. Damn. That's fucked up. I ended up having a thing.
I couldn't make it. Feel free to shoot us a message and we can talk about our thoughts on God. Big shout out to Dishwalla. Huge shout out. Huge wallaheads. Actually kind of boned. I feel like something magical could have happened. Was that in Ojai? Was it in Ojai? Blake's favorite place in Ojai, California. The
Something bowl in Ohio, California. I love it. That would have been a sick show, guys. It would have been. I bet it was dope. I'm bummed I missed it. Bummed I missed it. Well, it's this Saturday. I think you guys are available. I couldn't make it. Yeah, I might be there. Yeah, I'm gone. I'm out. Oh, it's in like two days? Yeah. Oh, shit. You know, I'm hosting. I'm not hosting, but I'm playing in the Major League Baseball Celebrity All-Star Game. Oh.
Get the fuck out of here, dude. Get the fuck out of here. Are you serious? That's so sick. But what sucks is my hip is all fucked up. I cannot run and I cannot twist. Pinch runner. Let me be your runner, dude. I'm going to be like just a...
a coach or some shit. I don't even know how they're going to use me. Let me be your runner. Adam, it might be worth it to just... If you hit a home run and then just died, I feel like that's worth it. If your body just exploded on the mound. I don't even know if I would be able to torque my body hard enough to get the... It'll be funny. But then the running. You have to motor after a bunt. Dude, I'm in bad shape. I'm going to have surgery in just a few weeks. So, like, I...
I can't... Bunt and then kick the ball. They're going to put you on a third base coach? You're going to be a fucking third base coach? Yeah, dude. And I'm going to get... I'm going to get fights. I'm going to yell at the ump. I'm going to kick dirt. Actually, that would be cool. It's going to be great. Yeah, it's going to be cool. Where is it? I love it. It's in Seattle. Ooh. Yeah, so I'll fly up there. Dude...
I'm very, very jealous of this, Adam. The space needle hit me up, which was kind of tight. Like the space needle Instagram handle was like, yo, what's up? Roll through. You better get a dinner there. So I better roll through that space needle. That's always a good time. I'm really jealous of you. You better tell them to bring the pretzel. I'm going to deep throat some mini pretzel sticks in the space needle.
So yeah, that's what I'm going to be doing this weekend. Spreading the good word of the Outlaws coming out. It already is out by the time this... It's out at... It's four weeks. It's been out for four weeks. To keep the press train rolling, I think our episode of Family Feud is now... We're in the dark here. I don't know what's
going on? Yeah, who is telling us about Family Feud? No one has told me when the hell it's airing. I'm seeing posts of other episodes with like the fucking Bumblebee girl show, Yellow Jackets. Like they're all, I'm seeing posts. Oh, really? Yeah. Really? I'm knocking grandma. Well, I hope we don't miss it. Well, damn. Yeah, someone needs to let us know when our episode is coming because I would love
love to tell the people when we came on the show. Pay attention out there. It's horny, baby. It'll be on there. I'm going to come. Steve Harvey. It's very, very funny. I love it, guys. Funny, funny. I can't wait. I think that's going to be great. I'm going to come. All right, guys. And that's another episode of Dwindle Down. This is important. It is important. It is important. Nice. Hell yeah.
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