Where Is The Love? 44:51

Your arrow, I think. Your arrow blow straight through my straining broken heart. No, that's not it. Welcome. Well, this is kind of our Valentine's show because we don't have a show that falls on Valentine's Day. We thought this was good enough.

Because it's a good enough day to do a Valentine's overview, what we think of it.

How it's possible that this still continues. I love when single women tell me, but the real holiday is February the 15th. It's chocolate on sale day. I think what is it on? It started on Parks and Recreation, but Amy Poehler invented Galentine's Day and it was for female friends. And I don't know what day it is exactly if it's the day before or day after, but I always know it's on the day. What is it is? I love that. It's great.

It's on the day. It's on the day. Adam, do you fellas have like a Palentine's Day? No, not really. No. Gee whiz. That's cynical. You should get one. Well, you guys, today we're starting Palentine's for all you...

fellas gaming in your basements. Maybe you guys can do something virtually. Maybe you can, maybe the gaming people need to make Valentine's looking characters for the Valentine's in the basement. I like that.

I wonder if there's any things in those games, any worlds where you're battling your mother-in-laws. I wonder what they do for those guys. You can pick like a, an avatar that looks like, you know, your mother-in-law and you battle her while you're sitting in her basement. That's a good idea, actually. Hey, listen, I'm so full of chalk, full of great ideas. Listen, do you guys believe in soulmates? Caitlin, go. I don't.

And I don't want to say that I necessarily do. Pregnancy is making you. It softened my cold, dead heart. No, but here's okay. This is a true story. My husband and I both, uh, we, before we got together, we both decided we were going to attend a concert at Massey hall. We had not been hanging out. We didn't know each other. Nothing. This concert was by a very, very niche band.

Icelandic band called Sigur Rós. I know, I love Sigur Rós. Yeah, love Sigur Rós. Okay, so we both couldn't find anyone to go with us in our own separate lives. We couldn't find anyone to go. Pearl Jam were in town that night and both my husband and I had seen them already a bunch of times in concert. We'd never seen Sigur Rós. They were going to play at Massey Hall here in Toronto, which is a fantastic venue. So both my husband and I went to go see Sigur Rós at Massey Hall alone.

And we sat one section apart from each other at the same show by ourselves before we ever even met. Oh. So I'm like, I don't know if that's soulmates or just we're the exact same person, but that's weird to me. That's cool. But it's weird and wonderful. Yeah, it is. It's nice. It's weird and wonderful and whimsical. And now you're making a soul baby. I know. A tiny little Icelandic-themed baby. Yeah.

What is the shape of your child this week? From your app, last week you were a spaghetti squash. This week I'm a bag of, and I sent you guys, remember I sent you guys a screenshot? Yes. It was a bag of bugles. I was like, come on. Of bugles. Why'd they pick bugles too? Couldn't they just pick like cheap-

Like a family size bag? No, not a family size, like a regs bag, but not a personal bag. Like not the single bag. It's still like, you know, but it's not the giant one. I'll tell you what, there's nothing like a nuts and bolts mix with Bugles. And I learned that this year. You love nuts and bolts mixes so much. I do. I just do. So statistically, I mean, I don't know who does these surveys, but they're basically saying that

More women than men believe in soulmates. Adam, do you believe in soulmates? I do. Okay, tell me why. No, I really do. I think I do believe, and I believe that you can have more than one soulmate. Is that fair to say? You're like a Mormon soulmate believer. I believe that you can have more than one. But I do believe that there are deep connections that you can have with people that are just unexplained. So that's my take on it. Well...

I think we all know that when the rose colored glasses phase of a relationship wears off. So they're really hot and heavy. I'm going to say, what does it last you guys a year? Is it last a year? I think it might last a year or maybe a year and a half. How long does the hot and heavy phase last Caitlin? Like a year? That sounds about right. Yeah. So after that,

After that whole sexual, like you can't eat, you can't sleep. You're very, you know, you're very focused. I mean, maybe that isn't it for some people. Maybe falling in love has nothing to do with physical traction. It's more of a cerebral thing. And maybe you don't even sleep together for two years. I mean, I've heard of people being like, oh, I was in love with him for two years. And then we finally slept together and it was terrible. So we just realized that I wasn't in love with him, but I just really like, I mean, there's, there's so many different stories, right? Yeah.

But I would say after that phase, whatever it is in general, then you have to start dealing with the reality of who that person is. Because I think falling in love is a lot. Oh, Jen. I know. Happy Valentine's ever. I write a lot of, I write a lot of, sometimes it is though, because I think when you're younger, when we're older, we make better decisions with people because we're a little bit more cautious. I'm not saying leery. I'm not even even, I'm not going to use that word. We go into it.

with one hand still wrapped around ourselves and our own, what's important to us. Like I felt like when I was younger, I just folded into whoever I was madly infatuated with and I kind of gave up myself and maybe that's you. But then you have to deal with the actual person. And so when I say that love is a lie, it's,

And I'm not the first one. Love is blind. You know, all these things that are these cliches can be true. Like, didn't you realize that your partner was a serial murderer? No. I mean, you hear all these stories of someone you sleep beside forever and... It happens. You know, they're out. I don't know why I'm getting on this trail, but I'm just saying it's not...

love is not an accurate assessment of who a person is because you abandon all reason. I agree. Come on. Yeah, I think so too. I've had like such a variety pack of like everyone has, as you were saying of experiences. And I really did feel like when I got together with my like now husband, I really did feel like I was like, Oh, this is different.

Because, and that's the only thing, like, it's not to say that it's necessarily a soulmate or, but I was just like, oh, like, this is how it should have been going for me before. Because I think I also felt like when we started together, I realized I feel bad. I hope no one I ever dated before is ever listening to this. I felt like I didn't really care about the people that I dated before, actually. Yeah.

Like in the same real way, like we had feelings for each other or whatever, but it wasn't the same like level. And I was like, it just, yeah, it was some, it was something different. It made me feel as. Was it like, yeah, it's like being at a party where you're talking to someone and they're looking over your shoulder, looking for somebody else cooler and better looking to talk to. Like, I hate that. Like soirees, um,

you know, get togethers, parties, those kinds of events, industry events. I'm just like, I just got them. Cause I'm like, Oh, am I going to get the person looking over my shoulder for somebody like more better than me? I know that's good. Good. I don't miss those things either. And that, I mean, I don't think that I knew all the time when I was in my past relationships that I probably had like a grass is greener syndrome. Maybe I don't even think I knew what I wanted. I just didn't.

I don't know. I felt like I had to be in relationships. And so I was, as a result, in a lot of past relationships before I met my husband. And they were just so not the one. They were so not right for me.

Well, it's like going to school. People always worry about what am I going to take in university? What am I going to focus in on? And my dad used to say, well, you're going to find out what you don't want to do. It's exactly dating. And that is dating. And that's why it's important to kind of get out there. Get yourself out there and, you know, play the field, as they say. And, you know, whatever that means. And I'm actually kind of glad to see younger people say what you will about these apps.

But I had a friend of mine who shall name name remain nameless went on a hundred and about 50 coffee dates. And she, the stories I'm like, you need to write a book about how these dates go. She said this one guy, they went and met for coffee and,

someplace and he excused himself to go to the bathroom he went out the back door of the coffee place and she sat there for like 20 minutes before she realized and she and she said that that was not abnormal she said she didn't know one single girlfriend that was doing the apps i don't even know what app it is it doesn't matter they're all the same um unless it's christian mingle which is my favorite

No, it's not. But I mean, to sit there, I would be so mortified. But she said she was so like intrepid. She's like, oh, God, that didn't bother me. I'm just like, I don't know. It gave me ideas of what I would do the next time if I was, you know, in a coffee date where I didn't want to be there. But he went out the back door. But 150 coffee dates and she actually did finally meet somebody that she dated before

for a couple of years and then found out that he had been having an affair for six months so oh my god but you know what still she said I'm glad because it wasn't the right person yeah you have to kiss a lot of frogs Adam is just like guffawing over there he's like oh god men

Men are pigs. We're the worst. I think women are just as bad. I am not going to pile on that. I think women in dating, I think there's a lot of horror stories about women as well. So anyway, we're going to come back. This is our ode to Valentine's Day. Call it what you will. It's not really. We're more on the naysayer negative side of this holiday, but we still will accept it.

an endorsement from Lynn chocolates. Oh yeah. You're listening to the Jan Arden show. We'll be right back. Cupid draw back your hole. If you're a gardener, it's a hole. And let my garden grow. We're just going to make up new. We're kind of talking about Valentine's today. I'm here with Caitlin green, Adam Karsh, Adam.

asks his wife every year are we doing something for valentine's day and what's her reply adam ew no why would we um i did i just don't like it and who came up with the shape of a heart have you ever seen an actual heart a heart is no more in the shape of a heart i would love to know what the folkloric um

background is to the shape of a heart emoji because it has nothing to do with anything. No. How did this happen? How did this come to be and how have we allowed it for so long? Welcome to the Cynics. I'm Jayla, this is Caitlin, this is Adam. We know you're not really listening to us. You're multitasking.

I've never loved Valentine's Day. I've never been that into it, even when I was like high school, like first boyfriend, you know, crazy about each other, but still just, it always felt really forced. And I hate doing something for the sake of doing it. And the cards were annoying. And then when you get later in life and you're out for dinner, you go to the restaurant and it's all these fixed price menus and the meals are-

Couples everywhere. And all these couples. So you're gauging the success of your relationship on the hand-holding, the demonstrative public displays of affection. I'm with you. Like you're looking at the person you're with going, should I be ramming my tongue down this person's neck that's across from me? Like, or...

Why are we splitting the bill? And we came in separate cars. I know. I hate everything forest. So this is the ultimate forest holiday. And so I just don't, I never get into it. The sad guy comes around with the roses in the restaurant. I just want to end it all. That's anytime. I remember that from the barst.

And if you got, if you just had the right amount of alcohol, you'd say, Hey, you'd have some knucklehead buying you like, here you go. Hope this hope we have sex because of this flower later. Do you know, some guy bought me the whole frigging bucket when I was in university at Halifax at a bar and he came over and gave me the whole bucket of roses. And I was like, what am I supposed to do with this?

Just carry it around the bar now. This bucket, this green plastic bucket of roses. Poorly thought out logistical nightmare. No. And it's like a scarlet letter. That girl's easy. Bucket of roses. You guys might be a little young for this. Do you remember the cards that you got? I remember second, third, fourth grade that you'd have these little flimsy Valentines that you gave up to classmates. Yeah, I remember.

And it was not the greatest system because there were some kids that didn't get anything. But now teachers are much more on the get down and they make sure that the kids even get the same amount that you have to, you make one out to each child in the class. Whereas before it was voluntary. You had your little pile of cards and,

And I remember this kid named Carson that just, I think the teacher gave him one and that was it. No. Oh my God. And further to that, he was in a wheelchair. No, Dan. Oh my God. Yeah. I think about him a lot. That's awful. That sticks with you. That stuff. Yeah. He wasn't always in the class. Um, he had a severe disability. I believe it was cerebral palsy and he was in, um,

He was there maybe a couple of times a week. Oh my God, I'm going to cry. I feel terrible about this. Welcome to the Valentine show. And also, what if you didn't get a card from your crush? Like what if you wrote a little note for them and gave it to them and then you didn't get one back? Oh, you'd be destroyed. Welcome to life, Adam. I know, I know.

Okay, so I was from the era where everyone got a card. And if you came to class that day, and I went to school in downtown Toronto, so we're talking 35 cards some some years, you had to give out a card to every single person in the class. And so then what you had to do was decode the messages on the cards. So if someone really liked you, well, because yeah, because now it was like, since everyone had to get one, you were already going to get 35 cards, right?

But if somebody liked you, they would choose to put stickers on it or they would say love instead of from, or they would say like there were nuances to the cards. Like you'd get, some people would give you like last year's leftover Valentine's cards. You were like the Ninja turtles came out last year, but if they really liked you, they'd give you like this year's Aladdin card. And there were all these cards.

codes to valentine's and you'd sit at lunch and go over all of your valentine's hall to try to figure out who liked who based on what they wrote on the cards it was this whole thing i think when they invented swipe right it just simplized it simplified everything so much easier than trying to kind of remember that now caitlin i kind of remember that now but i was so i mean third fourth grade disinterested fifth sixth grade disinterested i remember that greg k if you're out there

Greg lived across the field from me. I remember kissing Greg for a piece of double bubble. So I knew the games that I was going to have to play growing up. I thought if you want me to kiss you, you're going to have to give me double. He gave me double bubble. It seemed like a good exchange. And it was a double bubble was huge. Then it was like three times the size it is now. It was so soft and chewy.

the flavor lasts at least two minutes instead of like 10 seconds. So Greg K, thank you for starting me down the road of dating exchanges. It, you know, as I grew up, it became, you know, a steak sandwich and a glass of wine. The stakes got, the stakes got higher, but you know, the result was the same. Did, did he propose this? Like this was his idea? Yeah. He said, I'll give you a piece of gum if you'll kiss me. That's all it takes. And I said, sure.

And I see him on Facebook once in a while. He was a firefighter for years. His friends are going to probably get a hold of him now. He was a nice boy. He was a nice guy. I'm sure he's very nice. I think he retired recently, but he was a firefighter his whole life, if that tells you anything about him. Do you remember the kiss well at all? I believe we were in hay bales. Oh. I believe there was hay bales involved or some kind of a fort thing.

Yeah, I have really good childhood memories. But, you know, Valentine's, we're going to stick to the task here. But I just, I think it's more difficult. It's more of an exclusionary celebratory holiday than people really think. There are so, especially now with COVID, there are so many people living alone. There's so many people that look at that holiday with such a huge amount of sorrow and

people that are divorced, people that have been left. I don't think it's a good idea. I think we need to celebrate each other every single day. Like you said, Caitlin. Yeah, I agree. I like, I like everyday romantic stuff, you know, and that's the stuff that, that's the stuff that counts. Like I'm tired. I've had a crappy day. And then the, you know, your partner does the grocery shopping and makes dinner. Like that's Valentine's to me.

Yep. And we'll be back to talk about more uplifting, but yet not uplifting stories of the day of love. This is the Jan Arden show.

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Welcome back. This is a somber occasion. We're celebrating Valentine's Day. This is the Jen Arden Show. We're here with Caitlin and Adam. We always chat, like whenever we go to break. We just chat so much. And I've said this many times, that we need a show behind the scenes of the show. Right. Adam was saying that he would love to cook for somebody on Valentine's Day instead of giving them

The obligatory bouquet of flowers. But I mean, then you think of the poor florists. It's one of their biggest days of the year. They can't always rely on people dying. Or Mother's Day. Or Mother's Day. But Valentine's, it's the biggest thing for them to make money. So all these holidays, at the end of the day, are monetary success.

Imagine what the 4th of July does. Imagine the amount of money that surrounds the food, the drink, the everything. Fireworks alone. Yes, the fireworks. Even buying stuff, lawn chairs and lawn darts. And it's got to be hundreds of millions of dollars every 4th of July. Canada Day, $1.

I think if people spend a toonie getting a tiny flag that, you know, I don't find Canadians all that patriotic. And I'm relieved in a way because patriotism to me seems like an American word. Yeah. And then look at Christmas, which is a full month, a whole month of just spending money on stuff. Yeah, and they're trying to make it six weeks now. I know, I know. I saw that. Oh, I saw that. Yeah.

My tree's still up. I mean, I have to come clean here. It's the middle of February and my tree's up, but you guys knew that I said when I'm vaccinated, my tree will come down. Yep. But if it's too close to Christmas of next year, then the tree staying up for the whole year. Just leave it up. And my battery just died on my remote control. So I went to turn the lights on this morning and the battery's dead. Oh no. Yeah. Everyone's got to keep in mind. I've had this tree up since after remembrance day in November.

So, no, 11th. Wait, hold on. It's like three full months of a tree. It's four months. Oh, my gosh. Right. It's February. You're right. It's four months. I've had it up for a quarter of a year. I get up and I'm like, good morning, Christmas tree. Let's go feed the deer. It's sad. But, I mean, these are strange times. Yeah.

I'm going to celebrate myself Valentine's Day. Like, I'm totally into cooking something really great for myself. And I've been cooking great things for myself every day. Like, I'll tell you, I can count on my one hand the times that I have, like, I think I'll just make mac and cheese out of a box. I think I'll just...

have a grilled cheese normally, like every single day I've made something really good for myself. So I'm going to do that for Valentine's day. What are you guys going to actually do? Like, I know you're going to do something, Caitlin. And if you're, if your husband doesn't do something, then I bet you're disappointed. Well, he probably won't do much. Like we would maybe make the effort to get a card. I'll say that. Okay. And then, um, business, big business. Those are

Those cards are like seven bucks sometimes now and it's ridiculous anyways. And then maybe like a baked good of some sort. I'm not sure. I don't know that like we definitely won't be going out. If anything, he might make like something special. He made me a delicious chocolate cake for my birthday this year, which I really, really love. So that would be fun. And then we'd probably order some excellent takeout, maybe from somewhere special because we can't get done in at a restaurant. That sounds fun.

Yeah, I would do that. I just want to hang out. I just want to relax. It's actually a long weekend here in Ontario. It's a family day long weekend. Why don't we have that? Do we not have that here in Alberta? Do you have that? I don't know. I don't know. We don't even know what our actual things are. So is it Monday is the long weekend? Yeah. So Monday, February 15th, we have it off. So all these people who want to have too many bottles of something on Valentine's Day don't have to go to work on Monday. Well, just so you know, on the news this morning,

Very alarming thing. People are drinking too much. They're drinking too much. That doesn't surprise me at all. So word of caution. I know it's so easy to fall into that. And I'm just saying this because we love our listeners. We love you guys. Don't drink too much. If you're like reel it in a little bit. Is it just because you think they're saying like lockdown drinking has gone up? Yeah, they said it's astronomical. Wow.

that it's through the roof that they're having. And this is another thing that's happening. They're having a lot of emergency room, too much drinking. Oh no. That's not good. That's not good. That's a lot of alcohol. Right. Yeah. Right across the country.

Brutal. I mean, I've been sober Sally over here, so I'm missing out. I've been sober Cindy, you know, but I mean, I do that all the time anyway. But just a word of caution, the hospital visits are getting more of alcohol related things. So we're talking car stuff, DUIs are up. Yeah.

And you never want to get too drunk on a date. I always remember like the dates where somebody would get too drunk and you're like, Oh, no, this is gonna be terrible. And like, you know, I've gotten too drunk on on a day before. Hey, tell me, walk me walk me through one of those dates. Don't name names, but I want to know how how old you were and what happened.

I think these were like university years. Okay. And you would go out on a date with someone with what little money you had. And because everybody was like binge drinking for sport back then you got carried away and had, you know, one too many martinis and you thought maybe we're going to have a nice night and you end up like not remembering the last portion of the last bar you were at. And then the worst would be if we wake up the next day and I'm like, what did we talk about? Like,

like that's that I hate that feeling of like not entirely sure where the conversation went I'm like did I and like I have a very dark sense of humor that I would like to probably slowly introduce to people and so I'm like did I say something really terrible to this person like and then you're like do I text them or oh the whole thing it's just very it complicates things that's not knowing what you did not I hate it off the word it's awful and

And if you're an anxious person, my brain will naturally tell me first and foremost that you've definitely screwed something up and offended someone. Even if I haven't, it's just like, it's my go-to. So that's when you're like, okay, you really got to keep it. You got to on your dates, keep it under control. Like you don't, don't go crazy on the wine. Oh God. Don't even drink on a date.

Here's my peeve for movie scenes. Movies always mislead people so much with A, what making out looks like. Yes. Trust me, you're not picked up in the middle of a room and sat on a kitchen counter on a regular basis. No. And it just, so anyone that's out there, first timers, I don't know, I'm talking about this. Don't worry about the logistics of what that looks like in the movies because they, what we talked about with Bridgerton a few weeks ago was that they have

Love scene choreographers. Anyways, my pet peeve in the movies is this scene. And we've all seen it a million times. Montage of the night before, you know, dancing, partying, blah, blah, blah. Cut to two people in bed. Trail of clothes. The camera follows the shoes off, the nylons, the drinks. And then the two people lying together and somebody, you know, eventually wakes up and turns over. They're not worried about morning breath at all, which at this point could be quite hideous.

And they're like, did we or didn't we? I know that scene. Did I? Did you? Yeah. Did we? You're like, you know you did or you wouldn't still be in the same frigging room. Give me a break. Did we? I don't. I can't. I've got to go. And then the alarm goes off. I'm late for the wedding or the alarm goes off. I've got to get to work.

Writers of every description everywhere in the world, please heed our calls. Do not write that scene. This brings me to one of my favorite questions. Do you guys have a favorite or favorites romantic movie, like a rom-com, like that you would actually watch and enjoy? I'm going to have to go with Love Actually. It's the stupidest premise. The prime minister's not going to go knock on a whole bunch of doors. Like, no.

I don't know. I love love actually, but I also loved, and this is a stretch, but hear me out the color purple of Whoopi Goldberg coming into her own. She, Danny Glover, who plays the domineering husband that basically just

decides that this 13 year old child is going to be his daughter. It's an Alice Walker. It's based on an Alice Walker book. If you haven't seen The Color Purple in years and years, go get it. It stands up beautifully well. It's absolutely, it's absolutely brilliant. But anyway, that, that to me is an unbelievable romantic love story. She's reunited with her sister after like 50 years of them being separated. I don't know those scenes. I just, what about you guys? Yeah.

I like Jerry Maguire. Is that a rom-com? Yeah, that is. Okay. I love, I love that movie. You had me at hello. I know. Yeah. I like that one a lot. I really, I'm always a bit of a, can you, can you save that Caitlin? Can you say as we come back, we're going to, cause I want Caitlin to have the full meal deal. You're listening to the Jan Arden show with Caitlin and Adam. We're talking rom-coms. We'll be right back.

So Caitlin, romantic movies. What was your choice? Cause we cut you off. We had to go to break and sell some. Well, we didn't sell anything cause we don't have any sponsor, but we would be selling Starbucks coffee, coffee. If we had a sponsor, we would be selling the A&W beyond meat burger. If we had a sponsor, we would be selling like vegan cheese. They could be our Valentine. So romantic movies.

Off the top of my head, I've always really, like I had fond memories growing up of Sleepless in Seattle. I really like that movie. I like that movie. The kid. The kid was great. Jonah. Jonah. I thought Tom Hanks was really good in it. I just loved it. I thought that was really, really sweet. A movie that's not exactly a romantic comedy per se, but I think was very romantic in ways is Moonrise Kingdom.

Oh, yes. Those two kids that go in search of...

Life. Basically, yeah, it's from Wes Anderson, who's probably one of my favorite directors. And it's just a beautiful little movie. And they're two kids in love and they run away together. And it's really, really sweet. And this year, a kind of dark romantic comedy, a weird one that I got such a kick out of was Palm Springs with Andy Samberg. And it was just nominated for some Golden Globes. Not seen it.

Okay, we got to get on that. It's a good one. I liked it. The premise is wild, but I thought it was just something brand new and fresh and I needed new content this year. So that's my 2020-21 pick. And Adam, you know, when I mentioned the Princess Bride, you just about went through the roof. Yeah, we were talking about it during the break.

I love, love, love that movie, Prince's Bride. I've seen that movie so many times. That is such a classic. I love that movie. He didn't fall? Inconceivable. You keep using the word. I don't think it means what you think it means. Well, I mean, it stands up pretty good, too. I feel like every time it's on, I watch that. And every time NeverEnding Story comes on, I watch that. Oh, yeah.

I love that movie too. I can't help myself. I'm like, Jan, for the love of God. I just thought, I don't know who did that. I don't know anything about the director. I don't know who wrote that movie. But The NeverEnding Story, I think, will haunt me in a good way to the day I die. It's one of those movies that really defined my childhood. Like, it made me feel...

very uplifted and really special to watch that movie when I was a teenager. Like I was probably 13 or 14 when that movie came out. Yeah. It's aged really well. Like if it's on, I honestly can't take myself away from it. And same with another rom-com I thought of just now, Notting Hill. Did you guys like that one? It's so good. It's really good. What happened to those character driven movies? The 90s were a real era for movies.

I don't know. It just was a magnificent era for those kinds of movies. And I guess what's his name was in all of them. Four Weddings and a Funeral is another one. Yeah, that's Hugh Grant. Yeah, it's Hugh Grant. He was just like he led the way. And now he's in some really dark stuff. He was just in with Nicole Kidman. The Undoing. The Undoing is so dark.

That is something else. I'm not, we can't say, we can't say one thing about it. Watch the undoing. If you haven't already, it's excellent. Oh my God, Adam, you have to watch. Do you have Crave?

I have it all. Treat yourself to this and then take a little breather and then watch your honor. Oh, I am watching your honor. That show is bananas. I am caught up as of yesterday. Your honor is fantastic. Okay. If you like your honor, you're going to love the undoing. Okay. Do I need to watch your honor? Yeah. Big time. Yes. As soon as we get off the zoom call.

Yeah. I just want to tell people where Valentine's Day came from, because it was a question that I got asked a lot before we went into going to the show. My friend was just like, can you please tell us what the F it is? Okay. The holiday, the origins are Roman, so it isn't everything. It was a festival called Lupercalia.

And it was held in mid February and it was a festival which brought the whole city together, celebrated the coming of spring. I can get behind that. I can get behind the, you know, so what does spring mean? Fertility rates. Of course it's on the women too. If you have a reason to,

Somehow procreate. Let's make a festival out of it. The day hasn't changed much. I'm sure every guy that goes on a Valentine's dinner and has, we'll have a half liter of your house orange liqueur, please. I mean, they're really hoping for a good outcome. And pairing off, you guys are going to die with this. Pairing off women with men by a lottery. It's almost like a key party.

Not kidding you. This was part of Lupercalia. That's not good. At the end of the fifth century. So not that long ago, 700, well, 1200 years ago, whatever. I can't do math. 1500 years ago, 1600 years ago. That's my final offer. The Pope at the time replaced Lupercalia with Valentine's day. And it came to,

change out the pairing people together through a lottery which probably was horrifying can you imagine the 80 year olds getting like a hi I'm 14 and your neighbor your 90 year old neighbor gets you he wanted to be a day about romance and that's kind of what it's been since since then

That's a nice upgrade. So whatever, whoever that Pope is, thank you for that. Because if this was still some sort of like, like bingo of hooking up, I don't think I would be too pleased. This is again, when I returned to, if we had to go too far back in time, I would just be a nun. I would just be like, forget it.

Well, there's this different sort of myth, mythology behind where Valentine, the word came from. I thought it was a saint. Wasn't there a saint Valentine? There has been Valentines, but that according to what I'm reading here in this encyclopedia Britannica, who could sponsor us easily. They can fact check us. There were several Christian martyrs named Valentine.

So the day may have taken its name from a priest who was martyred about 270 CE by Emperor Claudius. According to legend, the priest signed a letter from your Valentine to his jailer's daughter, whom he had befriended. And by some accounts, she healed him from blindness. What in the world? Other accounts hold that it was St. Valentine of Turney.

for whom the holiday was named. Though it is possible the two saints were actually the same person. Can we just all recognize that we don't actually know anything about the past when we go far back enough? We have no idea. It's anyone's best guess. We will never know.

Enjoy your cinnamon hearts. Yes. Oh, I do like a cinnamon heart. I kind of do too. I do like a cinnamon heart. Those can stay. Do you guys remember having like a really terrible date? This always inevitably comes up because I work in radio every year around Valentine's day where everyone shares their like worst date story ever. Like embarrassing. I've told you my date story. Jim, his name is Jim. He was two years older than me. I think I was 18. He was 20.

He took me to a movie, picked me up in his camper. So my dad had his fist kind of waving at Jim. And I'm sure my dad was half drunk. So when a boy picks you up in a camper, it's not the greatest sign in the world.

We went to a movie. We were parking and his camper got jammed between, it was like too high. Oh no. And he was panicked. Oh yeah. The other thing is that he had just come from having his molars out and he insisted on still having on the date. I'm not kidding you. Not kidding you. So he had cotton. His breath was really weird. He was nervous. That is a bad story.

It is a bad story. So I got out because my dad taught me and I let air out of his tires so that it dropped the height of the camper a little bit so that we could drive so we could get out. So that was my day. And it went on from there. It just went on from there. He had to like take the cotton out of his mouth and he put it in the empty popcorn box. And no, he did not. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, that was the worst and the best. I think of him fondly. And I think Jim is no longer with us. I think he passed away a few years ago. R.I.P. Jim. Great story value.

I mean, that's the worst. Just great story value. I think I tweeted that once in a thread and people came back with the most heinous dating stories. Adam, what's your story? I honestly, I don't have any horror stories. I really don't. Oh, that's nice. I know I'm boring. I don't have any good stories. Well, you've never been out with me. So that's where...

I went to a guy's apartment. I was, I'm trying to remember if it was his apartment or his dorm room. It was definitely again, university era. And I went back there for the first ever time. Oh, it was an apartment. It was an apartment. And I'm feeling for you already. Yeah. So you walk in and I'm like, okay, like nice enough looking apartment. And I like, liked this guy. And then I've had a few of these stories where I go back to their place and assess and it doesn't go well, but he had this poster on his wall and,

And it was a bunch of Disney characters. And I was like, well, this isn't one of these things is not like the other. So I asked about the Disney poster that he had on his wall and he proceeded to turn on a black light. And when the black light gets turned on, all the Disney characters are engaging in various sex acts. Oh, Caitlin. Yeah.

Did Disney sue him? I don't know, but I could not have gotten another Fast Enough. It was the fastest I've ever fled from a date in my entire life. It was crazy. So was Buddy thinking that this is going to put you over the edge as far as arousal goes? Like what is the...

I think he thought it was funny. And when I broke it down and I was like, no, no, no, wait. You went out and you bought this. And then you framed it. And then you hung it up. And then you bought a blacklight. There are steps involved here. You have something going on. It's for a team of scientists in Switzerland. Like, not for me. I don't want to find out about this. That's weird. Forget it. It's so weird. You know what? Just so everybody knows, there is no normal.

Everything that you're thinking and doing and, you know, within, you know, as long as it's the other person is okay with whatever you're going to do. And if you want black light posters and you think that's awesome. Anyway, that's the end of our show. I hope you've enjoyed our enlight, our enlightenment, our enlightenment, our enlightened. I don't even know what I'm saying.

I hope you've enjoyed this light that we've shone on. How about that? On Valentine's Day and how wonderful it is. We hope you guys stay safe. We want you to know that we appreciate you listening to us. Hit the subscribe button. And that way we just pop up in your phone every week without you having to worry about missing us. Caitlin Green is going to be going on a bit of a mat leave, I would imagine, but she's going to be with us.

Yeah, I'm hanging in. Yeah, we're going to have special guests. And we will have a free egg salad sandwich to every one millionth listener that we have. Great. I make good egg salad. You've been listening to The Jan Arden Show. Thanks for joining us. We'll see you next week. Happy Valentine's Day. Toodle-oo. This podcast is distributed by the Women in Media Podcast Network. Find out more at womeninmedia.network.