Role Reversal 53:49

Jan Jan Jan Arden podcast. Jan Jan Jan Arden podcast. I keep waiting for Adam and Caitlin to like join in with harmonies. I can. Jan Jan Arden podcast. Jan Jan Jan Arden podcast. I can do it. Thank you, Adam. I'm like a female baritone, so I don't know if anyone wants that. I like that. Karen Carpenter was kind of an alto baritone-y.

Well, it's goodbye again. I could never sing along to her because I'm just like, that is too low for me. Anyway, welcome everybody. It really is so Christmassy here where I am. There's a dusting of snow on all the fir trees. I'm actually excited about not getting together with anybody.

And just being here, I'm going to watch movies. I'm going to be in pajamas probably for three days. I don't think I'll shower. I'm not going to shave my legs or my pits. And I'm probably going to try and venture out in the next three or four days to get stuff, to get my vegan eggnog. I'm going to do some baking. Although Chris Brunton, my, my road manager, he dropped off like the best baking. Anyone doing cookie exchanges? Any of you, you all, you all.

I'm not doing cookie exchanges, although I am making a lot of cookies. So I, I mean, my husband and I are exchanging them back and forth in our condo, but ever since Julie Van Rosendahl was on with us and she talked about the suggestion of doing the, what did she call it? It was like the balls and, um,

The balls of logs, log and balls exchange, where you give someone a log of like frozen cookie dough. And then you make like the little balls. And I think that's a great idea. I just don't know if I don't know if my friends and I are going to get our act together in time to do it. But it's a great suggestion.

It really is. Listen, I would love to talk about food all day long. We've got lots going on today. Jonathan Torrance is going to join us for the latter part of our show. He's a wonderful, he's a, he's a singer. He's probably a songwriter. He's got his own podcast. He's been on so many shows, but he's coming up and he's fascinating. And I think you'll really enjoy,

really love the conversation that we're going to have. I just, I have, I have ESPN and I think that's what's going to happen. Right out of the gate. Very interesting thing going on with Tom Cruise. Say what you will about Tom Cruise. I think Tom is one of those actors that we either love or we hate. I love Tom Cruise. I know he's been kind of nutty. I remember that Oprah Winfrey moment when he fell in love with Katie Holmes and he was bouncing around on the white couches and

But just his exuberance for love and being in love. And I guess that's what it's all about. Even if it ends badly. Anyhow, he's on the set of Mission Impossible 7. And there's very strict protocol with filming. I have been on a film shoot here in Alberta. You're in pods. You are tested every couple of days. You are, it is very strict. And they do not F around.

So Tom is obviously standing within earshot and eyeshot of seeing two of his crew members shoulder to shoulder, basically, at a computer screen discussing something. Now, keep in mind, these two fellas had masks on, but they were not social distancing.

Here is the clip, part of it, of what Tom is not happy with them being close together. Listen to the clip. We are the gold standard. You're back here in Hollywood making movies right now because of us. Because they believe in us and what we're doing. I'm on the phone with every f***ing studio at night. Insurance companies. Producers. And they're looking at us and using us to make their movies.

We are creating thousands of jobs. I don't ever want to see it again. Ever. Okay, thoughts everybody. He is mad. Obviously someone turned their phone on and recorded him. And I don't want to, I want your opinions first.

I don't mind it in the sense that like, it makes me uncomfortable to hear anyone that worked up and the full clip was three minutes long. So I get, I get uncomfortable imagining the scene on set where everyone's, you know, publicly someone's getting yelled at or two people are being yelled at by

Tom Cruise. And he's yelling through his mask, Caitlin. Yeah, he's so ticked. And I but I appreciate it because he's the executive producer of the film. And he's saying, you know, we've got jobs depending on us. I'm on the phone every night with executives back in Hollywood. I'm on I'm managing the safety of everyone on the set, that kind of vibe. So I get it. I mean, he's he clearly takes his responsibility as executive

producer star of the film all that very seriously which is great I laughed because Toronto Twitter grabbed onto it and said hey can we isolate some of this audio and play it on the TTC because everyone decides they're going to stand shoulder to shoulder on a bus can we just have Tom Cruise on loop yelling at everybody to distance well I was hoping that he'd come and and you know run for uh the conservative party here in Alberta next time because I think he'd actually you know

But he cares. Yeah. He cares about what's happening. He's responsible for, I don't know, probably a thousand people indirectly. But I would imagine on the set at any given time, and I've been on small sitcoms, small shows where our crew are 70, 80, 90 people. I don't know what they all do, but there's a lot of people standing there. So anyway, it was just interesting to hear it.

And it makes me like him even more because I loved when he got to the part, people are trying to put their kids through college. People are trying to put food on their table. And I do not want this production shut down. And imagine they're probably a $200 million budget as well on that movie. And we need movies more than ever. Yeah.

I know. And they know that if, if you have case after case, or if you have anything, you know, you shut down production for a few days, it eats into your budget instantaneously. And also it doesn't exactly shore up faith in the safety of shooting in general. And so the concern becomes, will studios stop production? Will they stop greenlighting stuff? Will we wait for the vaccine to become more widespread? Um,

Yeah, you can feel the weight of that in his voice. Now, he's definitely an intense guy. But if you're going to get intense about anything, no one's going to call you to task for being intense over public safety. Kind of felt cathartic. I was like, oh, good, an angry dad. I agree with everything he said.

Thank you, Adam. It does. It comes from concern. It comes from concern. And, you know, two guys could screw it up for the other 400 people. So anyway, it's there's a lesson in there. I am on a personal note, my dear friend Lisa was walking down the street a couple of days ago in Calgary, she had her mask on. And

Apparently, just moments before, there had been an anti-mask rally in downtown Calgary once again, where the police do nothing, where no one is arrested. We're not supposed to be in groups of more than 10 people. So anyway, she is walking. She just had to pick up a few things. She was doing some local shops for Christmas presents. Anyway, this very large man comes up to her, yelling the C word at her.

proceeds to go right up to her, grab a fistful of her hair, pull it out of her head while pulling the mask off. And there was a lot of people around Lisa and nobody helped her. And we've talked a lot about this. She's traumatized right now. Nobody helped her.

Nobody said, are you okay? Even after the fact, someone from across the street in standing there phoned the police and phoned an ambulance because Lisa, you know, had gone down and she just was in shock and she had scratches on her face. The ambulance came and they sprayed her apparently with something that completely neutralizes if you had COVID on your clothing or, and they, you know, I think they, I'm not sure, but they just spoke to her and,

The guy disappeared into the crowd, but come on, people. Just a little, come on. We can do better than that. I think the thing that a lot of people, and myself included, that I'm noticing, especially with the rhetoric on social media and the people who are just the loudest, noisiest, least sense-making people

are the anti-maskers and they are the people who are against public health measures and are against common sense and don't ever say anything even close to a coherent thought. They just scream. And that like that story is so horrible. I can't imagine. I mean, first of all, it's assault. So this guy's a criminal.

Yeah, so yeah, he's a full fledged criminal who knows what else he's done. And also, you're unhinged, like you're not convincing anyone of any of your viewpoints when that is the type of action you take. And I don't think that's why I don't even think it's about convincing people. I don't think it's about logic anymore. I think it's just people who frankly are really unwell and really angry people. I think it's a form of anarchy.

Yeah, it's the latest thing to be angry about. It's the latest thing to be angry about, the latest way to get attention, the latest way to stir the pot and to tick people off. And I've never been happier to block and mute in my whole life. I'm happy to have any conversation that is rooted in facts and logic and midpoint, like meeting at the middle. But I just, I don't like extremes in any way. And so it's just, that's how anti-masking feels. It feels extreme for no reason.

You are absolutely right. But there are so many good people out there. And I want to make sure that I say that. But I think the moment for Lisa, she goes, it wasn't, she's South African. I'm not even going to attempt her accent. But she just said, she said she was heartbroken that nobody asked her if she was okay. Feels lonely. She felt really, really isolated with it.

Anyway, in the last couple of minutes on another side of the coin, a happy side of the coin, my neighbor, her name is Teresa Clausen because I want to give her a shout out. She lives about a mile down the road from me. Hi, Teresa. And, um,

They, her and her husband own Joey's. Oh, they own Joey's restaurants. Oh, no way. It's a chain. It's a team here. Not that Joey's that's, that's a sort of the Earl's chain. I think it's called Joey's here. And in the West, it's a sea it's seafood, it's fish and chips. And it's, it's really great food. I mean, I think they put the stuff on like newspaper and it's just a fricking great experience.

And they are really struggling because their restaurant, obviously, they can't have dine-in anymore. They're just relying on takeout and delivery. But they're putting together, it's called Help for the Holidays, with the Calgary Homeless Foundation. And they're putting people in need over the next week, actually.

So, um, I just, just hearing people doing things like that, like going the extra mile to put these meals together, they're struggling, but they know, listen, Hey, if we're struggling, we can't even fathom what's going on with everybody else. So

There are really great people out there. And when we come back, we're going to talk about some fun, great things. We're going to talk about love, but anyway, that's my story. Tom Cruise is a hero in my mind. You're listening to the Jan Arden podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Caitlin. Yeah. Frickin' right, Tom Cruise. I'd hit that. Anyway. Yeah. Screw you, Tom.

I can't even think of his name. Who was I dreaming about last week? Johnny Depp, for God's sakes. Oh, yeah. You're listening to the Jan Arden Podcast. We'll be right back. Hey, welcome back to the Jan Arden Show and podcast and also show. We are all of those things. I'm here with Caitlin Green, Adam Karsh. We are coming to you from our respective homes. Caitlin, we haven't had a pregnancy update. Caitlin, we're already panicking because she's going to be on mat leave. I think you start in March, right? Yeah.

My due date is March 5th. So it'll be probably a wee bit sooner in terms of, but like, but not much sooner, probably not much sooner for you guys. Cause this is my, like, this is my fun side gig, but my like official mat leave for work will probably be midway through February. So yeah, I mean, I can't believe it. I went, I saw, I actually had to go see my doctor yesterday. So I saw her and I happened to be seated in the waiting room next to a stroller and

And this isn't my OB. This is my, this is my GP. And so I'm seated next to a stroller. There's no one else there. It's an empty waiting room. And the woman with her baby is inside in another exam room. And my doctor peeks her head out and said, and she said, Oh my gosh. And she was like, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no. You haven't had the baby yet. Cause she just sees me next to a stroller. And then she was like, but it is soon. And I was like, yeah, I'm like over, like I'm seven months pregnant. She was like, where the heck is,

did this year slash pregnancy go? I'm like, I have no idea. It's the pregnancy that wasn't like none of my friends. That blows my mind. You're seven months pregnant. Yeah. Anything changing? Like, are you sleeping okay? Like, what do you...

He is an, he, I am continually referring to him as Michael Flatley, Lord of the dance. He, he, he is an active guy in there. So he does kick me. Babies are usually active at night when you lie down, they get more room to spread out and it's when they have their little Richard Simmons, like a Robathon. So they, yeah, he wakes me up a bit. I've got less room for all my important parts like lungs and my bladder. And food. Yeah.

And food. So you get short of breath. You got to go to the bathroom a lot. I walk around like a penguin or like a salt and pepper shaker trying to like make my way up a hill. But it's fine. I really have, I don't have a lot of complaints. I have to say overall, I don't have too many complaints. Oh, you're doing good. It's so exciting. It's so exciting that this is all...

Going on. And I mean, you guys couldn't have picked a weirder time. I mean, I just, I guess, I mean, there's going to be, like you said, lots of coronials and, and I think it's a great story for him. Yeah. This is kind of attached to making children and having babies. Have you guys ever fallen in love with,

Like during a season, like obviously this is an intense season. So in COVID people forging on with relationships, but I'm wondering if you ever fallen in love at Christmas time, or you ever fallen in love, like during special moments or some kind of life altering moments in the planet, like you fall in love three days after the twin towers come down or something. Do you guys have, do you know anyone that's gone through stuff like that?

I mean, Hallmark would have us believe that everyone falls in love at Christmas. So I had the opposite happen. I actually met somebody that I previously dated. It wasn't initially the opposite, but I met someone who I dated for a while at a corporate Christmas party. I was there as someone else's date, funny enough. It was one of my friends, though. He was a friend from university. And he said, I need a date for my company Christmas party. He was an investment banker. Is it an open bar? Yeah.

Exactly. That's the first thing I said. I was like, okay, well, I was like, I'll go if this is an open bar. He's like, he's an investment banker. So he's like, they're spending money. So it's, it's going to be good food and good booze. Yeah, exactly. So we get there and the two of us splinter off. He winds up getting the phone number of the coat check girl. And I wind up being chatted up by some other guy who worked in investments at the time. And we made it. Yeah.

I'd had a lot of free alcohol. And so we went on a few dates, wound up dating for quite a few months. I liked him. I was young, so it wasn't super serious for me. Lo and behold, I discover care of him telling me like four months into things that he was engaged.

What? Not to me. Now, he pulled the old Roz from Friends. We were on a break. So saying like the engagement's on hold. And so, you know, she's moved out because we have to rethink things and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I guess it had gotten to the point where he felt, oh, maybe I need to tell me hi. And he didn't really know what to do. And I was like, oh, I'm going to make it real easy for you. Yeah.

And I'm going to never talk to you again, which is what I did. But that's my Christmas love story. Not quite Hallmark material, but we did meet at a Christmas party. I once made the mistake of going on Twitter. This was maybe a year and a half ago, maybe two years ago. Who knows what time is? Who cares? Anyways, I tweeted out, I'd love to hear your most terrible dating stories. Caitlin and Adam, I heard things that I can never unhear.

And people, you know, keep in mind what's Twitter. Is it 240 characters that we get basically? Yeah. Remember when it used to be 140? Yes. It was just like short form. I don't even know how we must've abbreviated everything, but the stories that I heard about exactly that, but there are some very, there are some very extraordinary love stories that are on the, the other side of the fence. This guy, 28 year old guy in Scotland,

They're in lockdown in Europe, heavy duty lockdown. So when you're in a long distance relationship during this, it's not easy. So this guy in Scotland, he's totally broke the fricking rules. He used a jet ski that he had never been on before in his life. He didn't know anything about a jet ski, but some fool rented him a jet ski. He went for 25 miles. Jet skis are not fast on the ocean.

Like not in the Caribbean. He's not at an all inclusive. No, he was going to the Isle of Man. Just Google that. A rock in the Atlantic. His name was Dale McLaughlin.

No, no relation to Sarah, I'm sure. No, maybe it is Sarah McLaughlin. Is this your, is this, are these your people? He'd never ridden a jet ski, but it took him four hours to get to the Isle of Man, four hours on a jet ski. So think about even the gasoline. Like I'm trying to think of, he must've taken a jerry can with him. I don't think. Okay. Yeah. So, and then once he got to the Isle of Man, he had to walk 15 miles to,

This is not a nice time of year to get to his girlfriend's house. Anyway, the guy didn't even catch a break. And I don't know if he actually, maybe he did get to see his girlfriend. We need to follow this up, but he was arrested. Yeah.

And charged with entering the island illegally because they're on lockdown. There's that's it. Anyway, I wish someone would go to those kinds of lengths to, you know, to find me here in the trees. Me too. I just wanted somebody who was actually single. I know for a fact, you've had sex in the last eight months. That is true. You can count on that.

Listen, love is a many-squandered thing. I would... There's so many... Where does the time go in these shows? I hate it. Once again, Jonathan Torrens is coming up, and we have a clip of him. He does amazing celebrity impersonations. Well, guess who he impersonated? I don't know whether to be elated or horrified. Here's Jonathan Torrens doing yours truly. Could I Be Your Girl? Hide your heart under the bed and lock the secret door.

Throw the angels from your head, don't need them anymore. Love is a demon and you're the one he's coming for, my Lord. I am ashes, I am Jesus, I am precious, could I be your girl?

You're listening to the Jan Arden Podcast. And that wasn't me singing. That was Jonathan Torrance. He's up next. Stay tuned. We are so excited to welcome another new sponsor, our friends at Cove Soda. Have I pestered Cove enough to come and join us here at the Jan Arden Podcast? I love them so much. They are Canadian, first of all. They are a natural, certified organic, zero-sugar soda, which includes, get this, one big

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Welcome back. This is the Jan Arden Podcast, heard both internationally around the world and here locally right in Springbank, Alberta. And we're talking to another freaking fabulous, hilarious, super talented guy. I don't even know why I'm having him on the show because it's quite intimidating. Jonathan Torrens joins us from somewhere in the Maritimes bubble. Jonathan, welcome. Celebrity couple named Janathan.

I think this union is long overdue. I feel like the peanut butter to your chocolate. And I think people will be demanding a spinoff by the end of this conversation. If it goes the way I secretly hoped. Yeah. No, I, I feel the spinoff happening already. Jonathan, where Jonathan Ormond Torrance. Can you tell I was on Wikipedia? I was going to say, yeah, that's my mother's maiden name. Ormond. Um,

I think it's a beautiful name and it sounds, and I'm just going to put this out here. This is really random, but you, that sounds like a Mormon name. Are you guys Mormons? We are not. Although on the ratings juggernaut letter, Kenny problems, I've been playing a Mennonite for the past couple of seasons named Noah Dick. Okay. Oh, wow. Noah Dick. Noah Dick. Yeah. And my wife is. I just wanted to say, I just, I just wanted to say, say that name.

I know, it's really fun to say. Ormond is a French name. I think there was an actress, wasn't there? Julia Ormond. She pronounced it kind of the same way. And I debated during like Michael J. Fox when it was cool to have like an initial in your name. I debated briefly going by J. Ormond Torrens, but I'm so glad I didn't. You are...

a really, really amazing singer. Like if people want to think back to the eighties, the nineties with Andre Gagnon,

who was a, he really rose up through the ranks of a singing impersonator, which we don't see a lot of, but you do amazing singing impersonations. One of mine, which we have played before you came on the show today of Could I Be Your Girl? And it's freakishly good, Jonathan. You kind of made me, I don't know, I felt very weird listening to it because you nailed so many of the little isms.

It's the sneaky runs that you do that, like there's so many people, people, Ann Murray is another one who,

people don't realize until you try to mimic that. I would argue I'm a decent mimic. I don't have my own voice. But until you try to sing a Jan Arden or Anne Murray song, you don't realize just how sneaky tricky it is. So I started with the kind of staples like I have a weird Canadian niche group of impressions. Like I was doing a light foot for a while, which most people kind of have in their toolkit. I was doing Lyndon McIntyre from the Fifth Estate.

A no-legged hurdler. A bungled burgle. And milked at curdles. Tonight on the Fifth Estate. They're like impressions that you never will need in the world. There was also a... What's the guy from On the Road Again? I'm Wayne Ross from On the Road Again. So I wanted to cast a wider net and see if I could do an impression of a woman. And you were my first...

attempt at a female impression and I have a high voice naturally. This sounds a lot like my dating history. Exactly.

You have a high voice, and I do too. But I'm so glad to hear that you took it in the spirit it was intended. My first- Oh my gosh. Bump in that way. I did a Steven Page impression from Barenaked Ladies, and I was worried that he wouldn't take it in the spirit with which it was intended, which is you can't impersonate someone unless you've listened to the records thousands of times. Yeah. Yeah.

What is it, you know, mimicking someone? It's the greatest form of flattery. I know that's not the quote at all, but I'm just going to throw that out there. But plagiarism is often, you know, it's like if you're going to copy somebody's work, it means that you really like it. If you're going to steal somebody's stuff and do it, it means that you like it. Hey, I'm really flattered. I once went into a club years and years ago. My friend said, you got to come. There's someone doing, there's a really great drag queen doing you.

And, you know, can you come on Friday night? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I guess. And she goes, great. It's at 1 a.m. I'm like, what? 1 a.m. I was thinking like 730. So when did you start? Honest to God, anyone that goes out

At one o'clock in the morning. When did you start this stuff, Jonathan? Like, were you in a little town where you live? Like, were you an only child? I don't know a lot about your growing up, but obviously it takes a lot of hours to perfect impersonating people. And I'm just wondering how you started doing it.

I suppose it was something that the people I lived with, in other words, my family, kind of weren't surprised by. I always liked an accent and always kind of was someone who observed the people around me and sort of drew from real life characters.

I started on Street Sense when I was 15 and still in high school and did that show for seven years. And it was on CBC. It was a show about consumer affairs. It didn't have any, the sexy cachet of Beverly Hills 90210, you know, but as a TV school,

I got to create original characters every week, got to do impersonations. I did Don Cherry on that show and whatever TV shows and whatever pop culture was big at that time, we would use that to tell tales about financial awareness. So instead of Party of Five, it was like Party of Five Man Tent. So you have to sort of develop these impressions. The same question could be asked of you, though.

It's not fair. Like I have this impression of you because we haven't spent much time together at all. We met a couple of years ago at that thing where those people were. But in my mind, you're like, you're having bubble teas with Cynthia Loyst and you and Anne-Marie play Sudoku. But I know you live in kind of a rural place like I do. How did you develop the acting chops? Like where did that come from? I knew you were funny.

Oh, those aren't acting chops, Jonathan. That is sheer terror. And, you know, I don't, you're very kind. Honestly, I don't think it's a huge stretch to play a weird version of myself, although I still have to learn the lines. I guess I had these visions of

Just showing up on the set with a show with my name on it and just being able to make up lines and ad lib the entire time. And that's just not the way it works because other actors have to say things with you and know what they're doing. But yeah, it's been it's been a lot of fun. So thank you for asking. And and right back at you. I feel like I'm on your podcast, the Taget and Torrens podcast.

And how's that going? Is that, are you guys having fun doing that? And you'll have a record out too, for God's sakes.

We do. I'm at the age and stage in my career where I'm just looking for kicks, as maybe you are. The thing I like about a podcast is if you do Trailer Park Boys or Mr. D, for example, as you know, there's six months between taping and when it comes out. I like the immediacy of a podcast. I like that it's awards and all environment. And it's one of the only places you can have a long form conversation these days.

So I never thought I would tour the country, something you're very familiar with. We were able to do that through Taggart and Torrens. We wrote a book a couple of years ago. We've made a record. Oh, I didn't know that. What was the book about? Yeah.

It was about 200 pages too long. It was called Canadianity and it came out in the fall of Canada 150 when people were like, honestly, enough with the Canada already. But each chapter was about a different province or territory and our experiences there. You're in the book. I am? Of course. Well, that's, I feel ridiculously misinformed or uninformed that

I didn't even know you had a book, but in my defense, Jonathan, you do a lot of stuff like going back to Mr. D. Mr. D was one of my favorite shows for years. And you guys did 10 seasons of that. What, what do you attribute like getting back to the Canadiana thing? You seem to be specialized in what makes Canada super Canadian and

And the minutiae of it. It's not just about saying sorry all the time. But why do you think a show like Mr. D just lasted so long? Like I laughed my ass off at that show all the time. You guys were such a terrific cast. Lauren Hammersley and just everybody was just so... She's the best. Naomi Snikas. Like just brilliant people. But it was so Canadian. Yeah.

It was, and it had that thing that shows that last a long time do, which is it takes place in a specific setting, but allows for new characters every week. So there was always, story-wise, like if you look at Trailer Park Boys, after 10 seasons, you take the guys out of the park and viewers are like, well, but it's Trailer Park Boys. You bring new characters into the park and people are like, but that's not the old characters. And you do the same storylines again and people are like, man, we've done that before. Yeah.

So it's really hard, as you know, to kind of keep something fresh. Mr. D, I think the secret was there was kind of a moving sidewalk of new characters. There could be a hovery parent or a fill-in teacher or ornery students. There were just lots of different outlets.

We're going to talk about all of that when we come back for this next segment. And I hope you'll stay with us, Jonathan, because I have lots of things to ask you about COVID. I have things to ask you too. Okay. Jan Arden Poska. Come back. Come back.

Welcome back to the Jan Arden Podcast. My special guest today is Jonathan Torrens. I have a theory, Jonathan, about Canadian actors and performers and musicians and artists. We live in such a huge country. We spend at least six months in the winter. And I feel like every Canadian artist I've ever met, and you are at the top of that list, Jonathan, for being able to do so many things so well.

I think Canadian artists do all this stuff because out of necessity, they have to learn how to do everything. When you're on the road, you got to be the lighting guy, the sound guy. You have to paint the sets. You have to learn how to drive an 18 wheel. And I just feel like that's a real Canadian thing is that we all do everything.

It is. It's been interesting touring with Jeremy Taggart, who of course is a drummer in Our Lady Peace for two decades and is used to kind of bus level travel. I'm from the street scent school where I'm humping t-shirts into the back of a Hyundai Elantra and hoping that we can sell some. I had an interesting epiphany when I moved to California. It turned 30. I'd been on CBC for 15 years. And basically just to see what else was out there, I went to LA. And there they like to know, you can't be...

a hyphenate. They want to know, are you an actor or are you a host? Are you Ryan Seacrest or are you David Schwimmer? You can't be both. And in fact, even further subdivided, are you the weird perv in the office, the hunky drifter new to town, or the doctor who's kind of swarthy?

Like I fit none of those bills. You're all of those things, Jonathan. When I came back to Canada, I was delighted that here I can be a guy that used to have a teen talk show who also played that guy in the do rag on trailer park boys, who was also the vice principal on Mr. D who has a podcast on the side.

It could also be argued that I don't do any one of those things particularly well, so I have to do them all. But I felt so arms lengthy in the States because I was so far away from the action. And here, I like that it's a small pond, but it's one that I built. I like that. Oh, I think it's incredible. And you're right. I think Americans are starting to

really appreciate our Canadian isms. I mean, I think you and I both sat back and were gobsmacked at the success with Schitt's Creek.

And, you know, the nine Emmys. And just that they actually, at some point in that six-season run, Jonathan, clued in that people really loved the quirkiness. They loved that you didn't have to fit yourself into a pigeonhole. You didn't have to be the swarthy doctor. You do everything so well. And I think...

It perplexes them down there. It really does. What do you mean you can put your own microphone on and run sound? This is insane. It's union. But the singing thing, it perplexes me. That's a whole other part of it. The thing is, at the heart of Schitt's Creek, for example...

Schitt's Creek has heart. And I think what we get in Canada is that even if it's a comedy, your viewers still want to know what the stakes are. They still want to be able to root for the characters. They still want to know what the characters want. And so they're so lovable that you can't help but root for them. I would say that's something that the characters in Mr. D have in common, the characters in your show as well. We have something in common, by the way, as far as the health journeys of our mothers.

Oh, that's something that you and I have in common. Yeah. And I was very, um, unto you, I was very moved by your, your generosity and candor about your experience because it's not something that people talk about much. No, there's a lot of shame surrounding it. What, what was your, how did it start with your mom? And is she still with us? I'm sorry. I don't know.

She's not. She passed four years ago now. Her mother had Alzheimer's and she did as well. And it took a while to catch on. I'm not sure if that was your experience too, but she was so good at bluffing. You'd say, what did you have to eat today, mom? And she'd say, oh, probably a bowl of soup or maybe a sandwich. And I realized, wait a sec, you're just listing things that people have

for lunch. She was completely bluffing me because she did. She was embarrassed too. She didn't want people to catch on. Oh, in her particular case, she had cancer as well. So in kind of a happy accident, her mind didn't know what her body was doing to itself. And so it kind of resolved fairly quickly, which was exactly what she wanted.

Yeah, but I remember reading your book around that time. It's very helpful. There's a joke in there somewhere, Jonathan, about the guy that goes into the office and the doctor says, well, I've got some bad news and some really bad news. What do you want first? I'll take the bad news. Well, you know, you got cancer. What's the really bad news? Well, you probably have Alzheimer's. Well, tell me what's the bad news. You know, that whole who's on first thing. Yeah, exactly.

I will never regret going on that journey. Like I wish my mom was still here, but it sounds like you're, was your mom in her eighties? Was she younger than that? How old was she when she went? She was in her late seventies. Late seventies, that's too young.

But it was exactly what she wanted. She didn't want to have her body fail and have her quality of life diminished. It was sort of mercifully quick. And I know it's maybe harder on the people left behind, but I think about that a lot at this time of year, how emotions are so heightened and it's so such a great time for so many people, but arguably for the other half, the people it's really rough. Yeah.

And I think about people that have parents in a tough situation or especially this calendar year with people with addictions that can't get out to their recovery groups, things like that, man. What is one of the biggest lessons that was a takeaway? Do you think from your mom's illness? Like what, what do you think you really walk? Yeah. Like what, I know what it is for me, but I'm really curious to know what it is for you, Jonathan. Yeah.

It's funny. I find myself as a parent now of girls, 11 and nine things come out of my mouth that I think, what is that? That doesn't even sound like you. And it's all the wisdom that she passed along when her memory was failing. And before that, at the time I probably pulled a muscle rolling my eyes at. So I don't know if there's anything specifically from that time. Oh, this, this was actually really helpful when the end was nigh.

the respite worker where she lived in Halifax. I was worried about traveling and going away for work. And this person said, your mom might be waiting till you're not there to leave or she might want you back. So just be, carry on with your life, be verbal and vocal about what your plans are and when you'll be back and let the rest kind of happen and take its course. That sounds very familiar of that whole thing

idea that they might want privacy when they go. I was worried about that. I thought, Oh, I've been here for so long. And if I ditch out for a cup of tea or go to the bathroom or something, she's going to slip out. But yeah, there's lots of lessons in it. Not to interrupt, but a lot of the storyline on your TV show sort of mirrors what happened in your real life. Is it painful to retread some of that same turf or therapeutic? Yeah.

Um, I love that you're asking me questions. This is the sweetest. You know what, Jonathan, it is so joyful to have my mom back. I know that sounds so lofty and nutty and, um, oh, she's gone bananas. It's not your real mother, damn it. But Deborah Grover is so much like my mom.

And she's so funny. And I wanted the, I wanted so much for the writers to make sure that Debra was funny because my mom was hilarious. And she was always like, wow, you know, it's so great about Alzheimer's is you forget to be afraid. And she always had these little crazy nutty things that she said that have will stick with me the rest of my life. But I'm so glad to have Debra around and to pretend that I have a mom for, you know, a half an hour for eight weeks. Yeah.

But we love talking about food on this show, Jonathan. What was food like for you guys growing up? Was your mom pretty good or did you guys get bologna sandwiches? What the hell did a school lunch look like for you? Well, there were in the earlier days, we were kind of a combo platter family. A couple from one arrangement, a couple from another. I was the only product of their marriage. So it was volume. Yeah.

more than anything. But I remember, especially around the holidays, for some reason, we had spaghetti every Christmas Eve, because that was so the opposite of turkey dinner. Okay, spaghetti and spiced donuts. Those are the jams and grasshopper pie. Okay, now tell me what grasshopper pie is. Is that something to do with creme de menthe? Yes. Have you had it?

You know what? I'm not going to lie. It is the weirdest goddamn pie I've ever had in my life. And it's quite a bit of liquor. So, you know, maybe at eight, I felt a little high from maybe that was part of my alcoholism. But the grasshopper pie started it all. Damn it. GHP. You're on GHP at eight years old. I want to get together with you and let's have a slice of grasshopper pie. Let's you and I, Jonathan Torrens, bring it back. I would love that.

I'm worried that we're going to run out of time and I won't be able to ask my questions. I've been dying to ask. Okay. Well, what do you ask me? And living under June when sexual atrocities were happening right over you and you couldn't sleep. Yeah. It's a four part question. Okay. Who was June? Was that her real name? Landlady. Was it awkward at the time? And are you still in touch?

She passed away. I know that's the last question. Her name was June Dyson. She owned an antique store. I may have been making a few things up, but she was super loud above me. And I had like a six inch television, a little black and white thing that she would pound on the floor saying that I had it too loud. It's like June, the speaker is the size of a dime. What are you talking about? You know, I pee louder than this television, honest to God. But yeah, she, she got rattling up her bedroom.

was right above my bedroom and, um, her, I don't know what was going on and me, maybe she was just moving furniture, Jonathan, but let's just leave it at that. It was a lot going on. Did the record come out while you lived under her? And did you ever have to make that connection? Yes. The record came out, um, when I was still living, uh,

You know what? I had moved out. Now I'm lying. I had just moved out when Living Under June hit. I was living there for my first record. And I remember driving by her one day in my neighborhood in my 1976 Monte Carlo with no muffler. And she went like this to me. I'm holding my fist in my air and I'm shaking it. But she did come. She wanted her record autographed. So she went out and bought one. Amazing. Yeah.

In the Great Big Sea song, Ordinary Day, there's a verse about Gina and an incident that happened to her, which involves, I think, someone getting shoved to the ground. There's a rumor that that verse is about you, true or false? It is true. And I'll tell you this. I did not know this from Alan Doyle. Told me this like 20 years later. And I feel like we're at a songwriting circle for something. As you do, you write in circles in this country. Let's do a songwriter circle.

And he just said that the verse was about me getting punched out in Gastown, like in the 80s. And someone's stealing all the money out of my case. And he sort of made it his own. And I felt like crying my head off. So that actually happened, though? That happened to you? I was busking. And I must have been asked about it years later in an interview. And I think Alan said that he read it somewhere. And he was just like, he couldn't believe that.

you know, I'm playing my guitar, probably some dumb song and somebody punched me in the head, stole my money. That lived up to everything I hope. Second question is, the way I tell the story of these events that happened to you, you mailed

unloved to Jackson Browne on a whim, thinking and hoping he might lay down his side and send it back. And months later, basically after you'd forgotten it was maybe even possible, it arrived back in your mailbox. Is that how it went down? Not exactly. But here's the abridged version. But it was still that freaky. Grew up with Jackson Browne, obviously loved him so much. Running on Empty was a go-to kissing at a party album because it was great. Anyway,

I worked in a place called Groovemaster in Santa Monica with my producer, Ed Cherney. These are all names that people don't really care about, but I do. And it was owned by Jackson. And when we were recording Living Under June, once in a while, Jackson would come in and stand there with his thumbs stuffed into his front pockets and listen.

And Unloved was never meant to be a duet. And Ed said, you know what, Jane? And I said, it's Jan. He goes, whatever. You know what, Jane? We should ask young Jackson if he wants to sing on it. So anyway, he did. Ed asked Jackson, do you want to sing on one of Jane's songs? And Jackson would be like, that was awesome. And so Ed sent him Unloved with a scratch vocal on it.

We then he promised me he was going to do it. And the deadline was getting closer and closer. We had the rest of the record done just on love wasn't done. And so Ed and I hopped on a plane. We went to Miami where he was touring to get his vocal and he was so sick that he couldn't do it. I thought it's over. It's never going to happen. And so we flew back to look, imagine going Los Angeles to Miami. It was a long ass flight.

Anyway, we were moments away from this record being, you know, this is, you have to have all the parts in. And Jackson did send his parts to Eddie. He finally got it done and sent them in and he sang the wrong words.

His verse isn't exactly what I wrote, but I don't even give a crap. And that's the story. So it's not completely wrong. Inconceivable that that wasn't conceived as a duet. Whose podcast is this anyway? My final question is. Oh my God. We're still. Hi, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the six hour version. I remember Ed from Bare Naked Ladies saying they were in a traffic jam in Boston on the way to a record signing.

And the DJ came on the radio and said, the reason there's a traffic jam is because Barenaked Ladies are having a record signing. And that was the moment they realized, oh my God, I think we've made it. What was your moment? Oh my gosh. And don't squirm out of it by saying it hasn't happened yet. No, I'm going to tell you what. I was at my first Much Music Awards. Much Music Awards, is that what they were called? Yeah. And I was really nervous. It was the Living Under June record.

And I was a fanatical and I still am Jane Sibri fan. Mimi on the beach was like, I listened to it so many times. I'm surprised that I can still like speak English. Cause I just, it's too much for brain. It was like thousands of times I was going up a stairwell in this, in the city TV building or whatever it's called now, the much music building, the bell building. And Jane said, Jen, I'm like, yeah, yeah.

She goes, what did you do today? And I'm thinking, oh my God, she's like striking up a conversation. And I said, well, I said, I had a Rice Krispie Square and I bought some tampons. And she said, I hope you don't get them mixed up. And P.S., I really love your songs. And that was it.

That was our conversation. That's what I fricking came up with to say to Jane Sibri. What did you do today? I bought a rice crispy square and some tampons. And I, but I, but I felt like she knew who I was. So yeah, that was a moment for me. She knew who I was.

Very, very last question. When Elliot Page was nominated for an Oscar for Juno, he said that the weird thing about being on the press circuit was not that Johnny Depp was there. The weird thing was when it stopped being weird that Johnny Depp was there and it just kind of became normal. Does talking to the Anne-Maries of the world still...

give you a thrill or is that normal? I will never get over it. I will never get over it. I slept at Anne-Marie's house one time. I was there for a charity golf tournament. She invited me to stay with her at her house, which I jumped at the chance. And I remember her standing in a doorway with a nightgown and the light, she was backlit. Oh, good night, Jan. And I was like, oh my God. Anne-Marie is the most wonderful, beautiful person. One of the most talented people

Her voice transcends time itself. And I will never, ever not be weirded out in the most delightful way of talking to her and having her email, phoning her once in a while. Anne-Marie's my friend, but it's a very strange thing. And I'm so respectful of who she is, what she's done for this country, paving a way for me and every other singer-songwriter that has ever lived. It was Anne and Joni that...

Let us out of the fields of wheat onto the international stage. It's Jonathan. So did you steal anything from her house? I thought about it and I did not steal anything, but I, there was a shot glass in my hand and I thought Jan Arden Richards, you do not take things from, but I did buy a painting from her daughter.

It was like one of those moments that catches, I didn't have like a ton of money. And she goes, well, Dawn's doing some paintings. It'd be why don't you buy one of her paintings and help her out? So Dawn paraded out these paintings and they were, they are stunning. They are so amazing. And so I chose one.

And I'm like, oh, and I asked how much it was after the fact. She goes, that one's $2,000. And I was just like, oh, my God. Anyway, yeah, it never gets, it just never gets old. Meeting people that I've long admired. See, if you stole the shot glass, you could have sold it on Kijiji and paid for the painting. Well, maybe I'll just lie and say that this was owned by Anne-Marie. This was Anne-Marie's bra. They'll never believe me.

Right. Jonathan, it's been, I don't know whose podcast I've been on today. I think I've been on the Torrens and Taggart podcast today. Well, thank you for indulging my questions. Those are really things I've wanted to know all this time. Oh my God. You can, you've got my email now. We can just ask questions back and forth. I had a bunch of letter candy questions that I wanted to ask you because apparently I made it on there once as someone was

doing cocaine off Jan Arden's charcuterie board. I kept getting letters about that line. And I'm like, oh my God, did I actually get written into the letter, Kenny? So it was a huge honor for me. You sure did. Make sure you tell them. I'll send you the Dawson's Creek questionnaire I have, and then you can send back the letter, Kenny question. Okay, perfect. Thank you so much. This was fun.

Well, it was amazing. You've been listening to the Taggart and Torrens podcast, but actually it's the Jan Arden podcast. But that's okay, Jonathan. You can hijack me anytime. Totally do everybody. This podcast is distributed by the Women in Media Podcast Network. Find out more at womeninmedia.network.