Andy Richter, Maria Blasucci, Amanda Lund, Jordan Morris 01:19:43

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Comedy Bang Bang

Sham-a-lama-ding-dong, get ready for some ping-pong. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Mr. Picklesworth. Mr. Picklesworth for that catchphrase submission. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang special. We're doing special July month this year where all of the July episodes are released in July. So every Monday in July, we're going to have a July episode. And this is our second July episode of July. Okay.

I believe we're going to have a total of four, if I'm not mistaken. So that's going to be a really special July of this year. Get ready for some more July episodes to come. Approximately four. Could be five. I'm not really sure. But this is the second of our July episodes. Am I getting that? No, I think this is our third. That's right. We had Poppy Lou on July 1st. No, when we have five this year. That's what's throwing me off. Five episodes.

July episodes. Wow. Special July month on Comedy Bang Bang. Wow. This is incredible. And so we're in hump week.

of July episodes, because we're the third of five. We're smack dab in the middle. Almost through it. Can you imagine? It's about time July got its due. It really, you know, I mean, so many people are like, ugh, July, my least favorite month. You have July 4th. Oh, my ears! Firecrackers! Yeah.

Patriotism. And then the rest of the month, you know, they can't hear anything, so they're not even talking. So it's pretty quiet other than that. It truly is. Yeah. But I want to introduce our first guest. I do also want to say my name is Scott Aukerman, and coming up a little later on the show, we have... I'm excited because stars are back, certainly, and you'll find that out in A Block. But in B Block, in Blee Block...

We have some legendary, genius, super power producers on the show. They can get us work. I'm speaking to my first guest, so we want to be on our best behavior. Okay. All right? I always am. Are you really? Are you a good boy? We had Hollywood Good Boy last week. I want to be liked, and I want Mama to be proud of me. Is your mother proud of you? This is one of my three questions in my show. The four questions I only get around to three. She's...

I believe she is. Yeah. I believe she is. Yeah, she's disappointed in the lack of contact. You know what? But I think that's what mothers do. I'm proud of you. And so it should make up for whatever feelings your mother has about you. Thank you, mommy. And I'm going to introduce you in a second. But we also have a company mascot here. So it's a jam-packed show. But before we get to them, let's get to our first guest, our guest of honor. Special July episode in July month.

He is the host of a couple of podcasts. I'll say the names of those right before his introduction. You also got to know him on the Late Night with Conan O'Brien show as one of the writers and the... Is it... Yes, Sidekick is fine. Sidekick is okay? That's fine.

That's fine. Co-host? Do you prefer that? No, I don't. Because it's not apt. Because you didn't really have the co-host duties where you were like... Yeah, no. I was a talk show sidekick. That is a definite paradigm to which I was slid into. Yeah.

You slid into those sidekick DMs. I was going to say, to which I was put into, but I mean, I slid into it gratefully. I mean, there have not been a lot of them over the years, so it's a job. I mean, there have been probably more SNL cast members over the years than talk show sidekicks. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. No, but I think it used to be. Ed McMahon. Ed McMahon. The rest. No. Well, Regis Philbin was one for a while. To whom? To Regis.

I want to say Jack Parr. Really? But I'm not exactly sure. I am not a very good broadcast historian. You think if you were one of the only ones to ever do a job, you would know more than two others? Yeah, you would, but I do not give a shit. One way or the other. It seems like they've gone...

uh the way of the dodo if you don't mind me saying because i i don't mind you saying at all and i think it's uh i i think it was because the talk show originally was set on a on a format that was of a radio show and a radio show like the george and gracie allen you know show and

It was the two of them and a cast of characters, but then there was, and I think he was the guy that the announcer for you bet your life too. Like there was just some very short of your life. Uh, what did I say? You bet your life too. Oh, yes. You bet your life too. You bet your life twice. This time it's personal. Um, no, uh, it, it, I,

And then you had an announcer. Yeah, you had an announcer. It's time for George and Gracie. It's brought to you by, you know, Valvoline. Was not that other guy the announcer? No, Ed McMahon was. What about Doc Severinsen? What did he do? No, he was just a band leader. And he would just blow his... Just a band leader. Blow his little trumpet. Yeah, his trumpet. He'd wear his cute little clothes, his fancy clothes that said he was a jazz cat. No, I think... And then I just think that those kind of like...

Those roles fell away as it became much more of a visual medium. And also budget cuts. Probably, yeah. George Fenneman, that was his name. It just came to me for some reason. But when we did the show, we thought...

we were kind of going for a retro vibe, which is why, mainly just because like we wanted, we were just going to wear suits because neither one of us are very fashionable and it just felt like that would be a good thing.

way to not look like dorks like i just remember i have some news for you did not work well well in hindsight yeah what are you gonna do swaying for the fences also i would imagine conan you know being new at it was uh needed sort of uh the support that you provided you know in terms of being able to do the job like you're someone to play off well yeah that's exactly what i think uh

He needed me. No, I think that he did have a good instinct. And Robert Smigel, who really did kind of help create the very beginnings of the show, had a good instinct that it would be more interesting and better to have two funny people out there together.

than it would to just be like one per like if Conan had just had to yell across the studio to Max Weinberg. I don't think that would have played so great. Here's the thing. Two. Yeah, it's a great instinct. Let's put two funny people out there. Why not 70? 70 people on one set. Because that would be Aukerman-ing it.

Well, I do want to introduce you. I mentioned, of course, you have a couple of podcasts, one of which is new. We all know about the- Well, it's not a pod. It's a radio show, really, first and foremost. Okay. Oh, God.

So they turned it into a podcast? I mean, the lack of research on this show, it just does not get better. You are lucky I know the title of two of your shows and I have to look down to remember them. One is called Three Questions. He actually moves his eyes with his fingers, too. That's how lazy he is.

Oh, well. We also have, and you're going to put the tit in titular when I say the Andy Richter call-in show. Yes. Andy Richter is here. Hi, everybody. Welcome to Comedy Big. Hi, thank you for having me. Yeah, it is a call-in show on Sirius XM Radio. So what do people call in with? Like they lost their manual to their microwave and you need to know how to... No, no, no. Each show has a topic that is sort of, you know, just like meant to...

A woman's right to choose. Pro or con? No, no, no. No, yeah, yeah. Lighthearted. Like Gaza. A lot of Gaza stuff. No, it's all silly stuff like dating disasters or have you ever seen a ghost or... Or combine those. Or teach... Did you ever date a ghost? Yeah, did you ever date a ghost? Or...

Bad teaching was another one we did. Bad parenting. So just to encourage people. That's for the holiday. Thanks for blowing the surprise, fuckhead.

No, it's just to sort of inspire an hour of fun conversation from people calling in. And people call in live or they leave the messages and you play them? The show, yeah. So far we've been taping the show because the logistics of doing it live. But you are speaking to them live. I am speaking to them live. Yeah, they are. As far as you know. Yeah, only once have we listened to a...

like a voicemail that we responded to. But no, people either call in and leave a message on a voicemail or they fill out a Google form and then we call them back on the day of the show and talk to them. Wonderful. And how has it been speaking to the common person, the likes of which you have not spoken to in probably many years? It's been awful.

No, it's been great. You put on a monocle just to say that. Yes, I did. It actually grew out of my eye. Are you a mutant? What a strange power.

It's been a lot of fun, and I have a guest host come and sit in with me. Who's this guest host? Well, it's a different one each week. Oh, really? It's been Andy Daly, Laurie Kilmartin. I know you're getting around to it. I would love to. Someday, Scott. Someday? Someday. I'm not one of the top three? No. Oh, okay. No, no, not at all. No, no, no.

Top 10? No, no, no. Top 20? Listen. Top 50? Top 100? Top 100 for sure. Top 100? Okay. Oh, for sure. I'll take it. No, but it's just you come in for an hour, you know, and like Sona Movsesian, Conan's now current sidekick, fucking bitch. Can you imagine? To be replaced. Oh, to be replaced by an Armenian. Yeah.

They're replacing us. Yeah. They will replace us. The great replacement theory. The Armenians are coming to replace us. Andy Richter is being replaced by Sona. By Armenians. No, she came in and we did Dating Disasters, and that was so much fun. She's like one of the best people in the world. Yeah, she's married to someone I used to work with. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah, tech. On the Comedy Bang Bang TV show. Yeah, yeah. He does graphics. He made the Three Chaps logo. Oh, really? People will know what that is. Oh, wow.

But, yeah, I had no idea they were together until they showed up at your engagement party together. And I was like, you probably felt totally submarine. And I wasn't even engaged. That was just a party to make you feel like an ass. Yeah. So long. You're on the out. Yeah, I'm not married. Oh, yeah.

I like to hear that kind of thing. Um, so this is fun because, uh, it's like talking to people, but you don't have to meet them. You don't have to shake their hand. No, not at all. And you get to hear about their crazy lives. What's what, have there been any like insane stories that you've heard that have really stuck out in your mind? Yeah, there was, there was a, the, a dating disaster one where, uh, it was, it was, uh, two gentlemen and one of them, uh,

Like it was like the normal person called us and told us about the crazy person. And like the crazy person brought like a huge plastic bag full of dirty laundry to do laundry at this guy's apartment. On a first date? On a first date. Like from meeting on like Tinder or something. They hadn't even met. They hadn't even met. And like brought a bunch of laundry. And then they ended up back. Okay. To be fair, kind of funny. It's kind of romantic. Yeah.

Like, hey, I need to do this tonight. You have a washing machine. I think you really got to have everything out. Every other box checked. You have to have your ducks in a row. Yeah, in order to pull that one. It's more of a third day. Kind of like, hey, let's just Netflix tonight. If you've got laundry, you can come bring it over. And that way you'll be in your shorts. Well, it ended with a...

The crazy person calling the normal person, our caller, into the restroom where the crazy person was bent over nude with his hands spreading up his ass and saying, I need you to fist me. It's a biological imperative. Yeah, yeah. Who knows? There might have been something up there.

You know, an earbud. I mean... An airpod. I like how you're thinking of these little tiny things. Yeah, yeah. Comedy's all about exaggeration. Oh, no, no. Not when you're picking it out of an asshole. This is like your TED Talk about comedy, right? It is. Comedy's about exaggeration. Guys, if you're going to go asshole, go small.

Well, this is great. And then do you give advice? Because it doesn't sound like an advice show. No, it's not an advice show. I mean, there's just lots of advice shows, and I don't feel particularly qualified, nor do I care. I mean, you have a degree in psychology, and you're also a medical doctor. Right, right. Yes, I wrote my PhD in advice making. Yeah, that's true. But aside from that. Aside from that, I just know.

No, it was just meant to be fun. You know, they kind of they there's a Conan O'Brien channel at Sirius XM. What? Yeah. Wow. All right. You just your whole life is just disappointing surprise after. No one told me.

What? No, it's great. Of course I knew about this. Biden's president? He invented podcasting, of course. So, of course he has a channel. Yes, of course. So you're on this channel. It's called the Sour Grapes Channel. Um...

Yeah, my podcast plays on that channel on some regular basis that I cannot remember to tell you to tune in to watch or to listen to it. But that whole channel was pretty much just

podcasts being put on the radio and you wanted to do radio programming that could then be a podcast too. That's fantastic. Well, I cannot wait to be on this. I'll be approximately 97 weeks from now, it sounds like. You can call in for our show about disappointing surprises.

About being blindsided. And then you're still doing the three questions. I am. Which is more of your interview show. Yeah, it's an interview show. The idea being kind of to get people to talk about where they come from and why they are the way they are. And your three questions are, where were you born? Where do you live now? Where do you come from? And when do you think you're going to die? No, no.

Yeah. Where did those are good now that I'm thinking about it? Okay. We're looking for a rebrand. Where do you come from? Where are you going? And what have you learned? What have you learned? Yeah. Did I do what have you learned?

You must have. I must have because I was on your show. You must have. Maybe you ran out of time. No, no, no. You definitely made something up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just trying to think of what I've learned. Yeah. Don't let information creep up on you. Yeah. I'm sure I bullshitted something. I'm sure you did. On the day. I don't remember. Yeah. You don't remember every single conversation you've had with people on a podcast? I certainly do not. Yeah.

I certainly do not. Who have you had on? Because you've had on me, obviously. And then I see you have on these interesting people that are, are you the type of person who has people on that you don't know anything about and you're just interested in learning about them? Or do you have to have a genuine interest in people to have them on the show? No,

I have to have a genuine interest in them. Some I know better than others. Some I don't know so much about. And then I kind of read up about them and look up stuff about them. Wikipedia.com. The podcaster's best friend. Oh, boy. I want to tell you. And anytime they ask me for money, I go, I use you so many times a day. I ain't giving you shit. Yeah. Yeah.

They're all, we're going to shut down. You ain't shutting down Wikipedia. Yeah. You and your roommate Snopes have another bake sale. Um,

Yeah, but most of the time I do know who the people are. And I don't ever, like there's never any, there was plenty of times Conan talked to people on our talk show that he was not. I can only imagine. Like he didn't really want to talk to like fill in the blank of the name. And I can't even really think of any. Oh, fill in the blank. Fill in the blank. Yeah. But I don't talk to anybody that I don't really want to talk to. So you're running out of people. Right.

No. Oh, interesting. They still pitch people and I'm like, yeah, I guess. Who are you really excited by where you were like, oh my God, I can't believe this person wants to do the show.

And then were you ever nervous? I mean, you've done so many of these talk shows where you've had to sit next to the biggest star in the world as long as well as, you know, the smallest, you know, reality TV show type people. So you must be blasé and nonplussed about everything at this point. Not everything. But but yes, I mean, I and to say blasé and nonplussed makes me sound like a dick.

No, but like competent and unflappable sounds better. That sounds a lot. Yeah, you're right. You know, there are certain people where I tend to think I'm relatively unflappable, but there are some people where you're like, I'm nervous because I don't know if here's here's my biggest fear.

is someone comes in and is above the whole thing and just is kind of like rolling their eyes during the whole thing. And then I have to like sort of be like, oh yeah, it's entertaining. You know what I mean? Has that happened for you or are you nervous about that happening with certain people that you think are too big to do your show? No, no. And I mean, now,

Now, I have the benefit, too, of that virtually everyone is doing podcasts now. The mere word doesn't make people go like, what? You mean I'm on the way out? What? Am I really on the downside of my career? Yep. You think that's bad? Think of the host. Exactly. Exactly.

Well, like Rachel Maddow was on the other day and she's been on twice. And yeah, it's a little bit daunting because you do feel like she's Canadian. She's smart. Yeah. You know what I mean? This isn't even her country. So that does. I don't let that really. She's a carpetbagger. Yeah, I know. That's OK, though. I mean, that's bag stress. Yeah.

Tricks. Carpet bag tricks. I think that's what it is. But were you sitting there going like, oh man, she's smart. She's got her own media podcast and TV show and all that. I don't want to look dumb in front of her. Did the adrenaline get pumping? No. This is the second time that I talked to her. Well, I mean, not really. The first time, yes, I was a little bit more nervous that I...

that, yeah, when you talk to somebody smart, you know, most of the show business people you talk to are dumb-dumbs. They're really dumb. Why are you pointing at me right now? You could see that behind my hand? I held one hand up so you couldn't see it. No, but she's really smart. But then there's other people, like Ted Danson was on just recently. And you do, like, just when you start to look at

Just like Ted Danson's been on TV nonstop for 40 years doing really good work. Are you ever talking to someone and suddenly in the middle of it, the reality of what you're doing hits you and you're like, this is crazy? Not so much on the podcast, but I did have a really cool experience recently. I got a call from Flanagan, who runs Largo, who's a friend of mine, or a text. And he said, would you want to...

moderate a q a at the pantages with talking heads on the 40th anniversary of the filming of stop making sense which was filmed there right uh because fred armisen was supposed to do it and got stuck in dublin did he put that in the text no oh he did he did put that he did i was like fred was supposed to do it but he's probably because it's like a last minute ask you

Yes, exactly. Oh, absolutely. It was only a few days before, but Fred was not going to be able to come back. And I was like, absolutely. And that was, and you know, and to start the thing was not that weird. I came out, said hello to the crowd. It like could immediately feel like what I like pumped. Yeah. So happy to be there. Crowd. It was, it felt very special being in the same place where the movie was made.

Then I threw, there's an album of covers of basically the playlist of the movie. There's a new covers album. Yes. Paramore and people like that. Exactly. And Blond Shell played live on the stage before the movie started. And then the screen dropped. They did the movie. And I met everybody beforehand.

But when I did, and I introduced them one after another to come out and, and I did have definitely have a moment of like, wow, that's talking heads right there. You know? And I, cause I saw that tour twice. You saw that tour? I saw that tour twice when I was in high school. Not at the Pantages, but probably Chicago. In Chicago. Yeah. I think cause they, they went through once and I think they came back later and I saw it again cause it was,

It's just such an amazing concert. Wow. And so, yes, that was... And it's striking to me because I am so unimpressed by things because of just the tonnage of...

with famous people that I've had. Right. And you probably also were... The people passing through the Conan show were probably contemporaries, at least, in terms of like... They were people who were doing things now. Talking Heads is like someone when you were growing up and then they broke up and you haven't seen them since. Exactly. You haven't been in a room with them since. Exactly. And it's very unusual that they're doing this together, which they're doing it together because...

the rights to the movie reverted back to them. Hell yeah. So yeah, they're ringing every dollar out of that thing. I'm going to buy them from them. Nobody heard about that. But it was really fun, and they were really great, and it really felt...

It just felt like what a special privilege it was to get to do that. Yeah, that's incredible. Well, I mean, you know, this business of show still has some surprises in store for someone like you, Andy. It does, even as much as I hate it.

Oh, it's horrible. She's a cruel mistress. Oh, there's various times where it's just awful. Don't we love her? Ladies show business. Yeah, but I mean. Don't we love her glimmering, flickering lights? She's so mean. She's so mean to us, but we love her for it. The fine line between pleasure and pain. She wants me to lose weight and I would get the Ozempic, but I can't afford the Ozempic. Because she won't give me the work. No, she won't do it, but we love her for it.

We love her. Ladies Showbiz. Ladies Showbiz. Well, Ladies Showbiz is once again bestowed its greatest gift upon you, which is another show, and that show is called The Andy Richter Call-In Show. Yes. We need to take a break. When we come back... Wednesday, SiriusXM. Wednesday, SiriusXM. The Conan O'Brien Channel. The Conan O'Brien Channel, wherever that may be. 104. 104. He knows all the info. When we come back, we are going to have these legendary, genius, superpower producers...

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Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Andy Richter is here. Andy Richter call-in show, which apparently is on Wednesdays on the Conan O'Brien channel, which from what I'm told is channel 104 on the SiriusXM app. I do believe so. And what's the time slot you were saying? Wednesdays at 1 Eastern, I believe. 1 Eastern, and that's a.m. or is that... No, no, I'm not that desperate. 1 p.m.

No. Would you do... I'm not Art Bell. Would you do a show if Conan called you and said, we really, really want you to do this show, and he just gave you the hard zone. It's like, it's three in the morning, you have to do it live.

How much? How much? I mean, because, yeah, depending, you know. I had a friend who did the drive time. This is the friend who got me this show on Indie 103.1. But he did the drive time show. And I would call in and do characters and stuff like that on it. But he would have to get up at 4 a.m. every single day. And that was a total life switch for him, you know. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't know if I could do it. Although, technically, it's not that different than when you're in production on a TV show. You're getting up at five or whatever. You could acclimate. Yeah, you get used to it. To do drive time radio? That's the dream. Given the weather report on the 10s.

Oh, man. The weather doesn't change that much. I think I'm thinking of traffic reports. And now when I think about, you know, like radio just generally, too, you know, I listen to Howard Stern, so to me it's all kind of... It's a weird brag, but go on. It's, you know, and he talks for a long time, but

There aren't that many deep like there, you know, you hear about like Rick Dees and it's like, did Rick Dees really do that much? He said, like, you know, here we go. It was another hit from ABBA. Right. And then and then, you know, it's 84 degrees. He did. I mean, he did his comedy pieces. Remember the one where he and Disco Duck, he called in and pretended to be a priest advising someone on their upcoming nuptials.

and then he started saying like asking the groom like well what have you done physically with the woman have you touched her supple breasts and the guy gets really upset anyway this was on his record and then I found out later supposedly that these are all like scripted things that are written for DJs from across the country and they all do it anyway how do you feel about liars like that

Like Rick Dees. Your supposed idol. I actually have... I've known people that write... That have had jobs writing those jokes. They get faxed to different morning DJs around the country. Did you ever fax anything to The Tonight Show with Jay Leno? Any jokes? No. Just as a lark? I never did. Just start faxing him in? I never did.

I never did. Just relaxing the weirdest jokes. He's like, hey, why don't you tell me something? Maybe it looks like he's trying to mend things. Maybe I say this joke. This joke isn't very good, but maybe I say it. Yeah. When's he going to touch us tonight, Joe Money?

Why does he give it to you? He's not going to touch it. Did I ever tell you about how I sat next to him at breakfast? You did. You did on this show, as a matter of fact. Yeah, I was on this show. Yeah, I listened to one of the previous episodes, Andy. I think it was the previous one. Yeah, for that amazing story. Yeah. But we need to hear some more amazing guests. Yeah, I was going to say, yeah, because I can't tell you that now. Yeah, no, you've forgotten all the details at this point. I think he's touched his Tonight Show money. Has he at this point? Yeah, I think he's like sad in it.

Like Scrooge McDuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just diving ass first into a pool full of it. Let's go to our next guest. And look, Andy, I'm so excited about this because... I know. Now, you asked if I was nervous. I'm nervous now. Now I'm nervous too. The films that these guys have produced and the TV shows...

Anywhere media is, they have their grubby little fingers in it. And I'm so excited to... I mean, they're long, delicate fingers. Yeah, when I say grubby fingers, guys, I of course mean they're grubby because money's so dirty and you have so much of it. That was a good save, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. They are, of course, the legendary Genius Power producers. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Brand Rollbrown and Brock Poma Springs.

Scotty, thanks for having us. Great to be here. Great to meet you, gentlemen. Yeah. Gorgeous day out. Beautiful day. It is a beautiful day. That's so astute of you to notice that. What was your tip off? Well, the sun is shining, baby. I mean, that's life in Hollywood, right? That is.

That is life in Hollywood. That's life in Hollywood. Welcome to the show. Take us through, for those who are uninitiated, for some of our younger listeners, take us through some of your projects that you've had your hands in over the years. I mean, how much time you got. Look, honestly, podcasts don't have, unlike the Conan, the late night show, it doesn't have a specific amount of time. Yeah, I know. Yeah.

You know, I mean, I can go on forever. I would cap it at, you know, an hour and a half probably. But continue on as long as you like. Yeah. Well, listen, we got our start. We came from humble beginnings. We sure did. Tampa. Tampa. You both came from Tampa. Yeah. Did you know each other before you started producing? Of course. In high school, we locked eyes and we said we got to make it big, baby. And we got on a plane and we came to Hollywood and.

You know, 20 years later, here we are. Wow. That was only 20 years ago, too. Wow. Incredible. 2004. That's right. How did you get from the school to the airport right there? Oh, the bus. And the bus. Definitely the bus. We didn't have wheels. Now we're swimming in wheels. Yeah, I got so many wheels. You both have Cybertrucks. I noticed that out front. Yeah, we hitched them together so we can kind of make it like a train. Nice. Yeah, and Brand always drives. I just cruise along.

Normally people would do it side by side, but you guys did it one in front of the other. Well, that way when we park, we only need one spot, which is a perk. Yeah, you did park. I mean, you're only taking up one spot in the width, but it's so long in the back. Yeah, well, people know when they see a Cybertruck, they just kind of go turn back around. Yeah, my neighbors actually are honking right now. They kind of want you to move it. Let them honk, Scotty. Let them honk.

I got my checkbook with me. Oh, you do? Yes, I do. This guy, he gets it right. So tell us about the projects that you've been involved in over the last 20 years. Well, as you all probably know, it all started with Cry From The Devil, which was our breakout hit. We knew nothing, okay? We knew nothing. We were just babes in Toyland. Well, to be honest, it started when we were the background actors. Yeah. Was it Miami Nights? Miami Nights. We were background actors. Yeah.

Was that the movie about the person who would spend their days in Georgia and then drive to Miami every evening? They'd drive to Miami and they'd solve crime. As long as they were backed by Sunup, I recall. Yeah, that's right. Everything was kosher. That's right. And so we were just new. We were new to town.

So we went to the Paramount lot and we said, are you guys hiring? You know, we didn't know. Yeah, they took one look at us and they said, send them over to the Miami Knights. Yeah. Yeah, because of my tan. I mean, we both have a tan. He's so tan. Yeah, you... I mean, that was 20 years ago. You seem... You're still very tan and wrinkled now. Oh, yeah. No, I've never... A drop of sunscreen has never touched. Yeah. You know, it's not... You know, when the sun touches your skin, it's a vitamin D. Yeah. You also...

I noticed you have some papers there which look to be a diagnosis for skin cancer. Yeah. I've got tons of melanomas. It's fine. Yeah. Anyway, so straight from Miami Nights, how did you then go into... Well, we had notes. You know, we were watching the actors and the actors and we said, this isn't... You know, who's going to want to watch this? This looks silly. Yeah.

And we had no idea the power structures that happen when you're on a set. Okay. We're literally just got into town. So Brand, who's a genius, by the way, walked right up to the director. I said, she's got to be hotter, chief. She's got to be hotter, chief. Yes. And to whom were you referring? I was talking to the head of Paramount. I didn't know it.

Oh, you were talking, but who were you talking about? The lead. The lead. The lead. Wow. The lead actress. And you know what? They kicked us out, but they must have agreed because they recast the girl. Yeah, they recast her with Andy McDowell. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay, who was it originally? Some no-name... Can you swear on here? Yeah, what were you going to say? Because you start saying sss. You were going to say sss.

I'm thinking of a curse word that starts with S. There's shits, but that's more of a sh sound. I was thinking slut. Yeah, I was thinking slut, too. Andy thought it, not me. Andy. Well, it's just because of the S. I know, but come on. But it's not a curse word. I love Wheel of Fortune, and so when I hear a sound and there's a word... Another S sound. Seacrest got that instead of you, man. Oh.

But I hear Vanna White is not getting along with him and she might be out. So maybe you could turn those letters. Did you really hear that? I did. No, you didn't. I did. Wow. So maybe you could turn the letters or press the letters. That'd be fun to see you sashaying across the stage. Press the letters. Nightly.

So they took your advice. Then how did you... I guess what I really want to get to is how did you get to producing and what have you produced? Okay, well, Cry from the Devil. That was our breakout hit. People said it couldn't be done. It was an erotic courtroom thriller about... It was about an attorney, all right, a Southern attorney who has to defend the devil from the one crime he didn't commit. Oh, which one did he not commit? It was a murder. So that...

so it was the governor's daughter oh okay so but wouldn't the devil have influenced the person who actually did it so this time is just the person who did it he was innocent so this time the murderer just got this idea on his own his or her own yeah but they framed the devil it's genius when you think yeah when you think about it there's a lot of layers yeah but people

that it couldn't be done all right and we had some really crazy stuff in that movie but when it came out oh boy did people flock to the theater I remember I mean it was great who starred in it again that was McConaughey McConaughey that was Maddie yeah Maddie M.C. we discovered him yep

Where? Well, what we would do. OK, so this is the thing. I came up as an actor. All right. So now I realize production is where producers are, where all the power is. But I have a gift, which is because I have it, I can spot it. So what Brandon and I used to do in the early days is we would just set up an impromptu little ice cream cart.

All right. At a playground or outside the mall. Right. The kids, the teens start funneling through. All right. Kids to teens. They start funneling. Totally. And so you go, this one's not going to make it. This one doesn't have it. So you were just like basically setting up a honeypot kind of like lure. Thank you. To see to lure kids and teens and teens.

And then you were deciding if they had that certain something. Yeah. Well, McConaughey comes through, you know, gets his push pop and I go, hey, Brian, get over here. Yeah. I got someone I want you to meet. And then we tell him that his $20 bill was counterfeit. And we call the cops and we get him in cuffs. And then we take him over to the studio, have him audition. Right. Wow. Was it actually counterfeit or was that a ruse? I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah, we don't know. You don't even know how to tell if something's coming, right? Oh, I wouldn't know. I haven't seen a $20 bill, and I don't even want to go there. Because you... Because I see 50s. Oh. Hundreds. Hundreds. They stopped making the thousands. Well, then I don't know what I'm looking at.

Nice, Fran. You can't curse, by the way. I know you were censoring yourself again. What were you going to say? I wasn't going to curse that time. You weren't? Oh, I want to assure you, you can get them all out of the way now. All right. Well, if I feel the need, I'll let you know. Okay, great. Great. So, Cry from the Devil. What was the end of that film? Not to spoil it, but... Well, the jury ends up being Satanists.

Yep. Yeah. And then, you know, McConaughey blows them all out of the water. Right. Is the judge God? No, I mean, you know what? A lot of critics made that leap. But, you know, in our movies, we say you say you be the judge. Right. No pun intended. Right. So we all were the judge. You all were the judge. Absolutely. Interesting. And then, of course, Hard Top. All right. That's what you guys all know. Yeah. Hard Top. H-A-R-D. Oh, H-A-R-D. Hydersonic, aquatic.

Reconnaissance Division. Yeah. Right. So that one's about, as you remember, JT was a bad boy street racer from Tampa. You know, imagine where we got that idea. We wish. We wish. JT was the character name? Well, that was Bobby Dulce. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, and we picked him up. He was a valet at Spago. Oh, wow. Bobby Dulce was? Oh, yeah. Bobby Dulce. He was a valet at Spago and...

Were you setting up similar to your ice cream thing? You set up a fake ice cream stand? Not Spago. We got a table. The thing was, he brought the car around, and then I got in the passenger seat, locked the doors real quick, and then... How quick did you lock the door? Because I think it's just like pressing down a thing. Not in Bran's car. Oh, really? Bran's car, I've got the locks on my keychain, if you know what I mean. Oh, okay. So that's even quicker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are we talking, like half a second? Half a second. That's pretty quick.

yeah yeah yeah you just just were miming it to make sure yeah it's half a sec yeah half a sec yeah uh yeah so we locked i locked him in i said dry i said uh uh drive to i'm not gonna give you my ad are you allowed to give addresses on this podcast you are i mean if you want you can curse while you give it too if you want no so anyway i said drive me to this address and um he did and you know we i i said do you want to be in a movie he said yeah i said great

And did the conversation end there? It ended there. You just parted ways? He didn't ask any follow-ups or anything like that? I don't know if you've been in this business, but sometimes when people offer you a golden ticket, you don't ask where it came from. You just eat it and get on the bus. Yeah, so he just turned around, did a 180, walked away from you. And we saw him on Monday. You saw him on Monday. So how did he know how to get there? Well, back then we took our meetings at the H in the Hollywood sign. Oh, okay. So he just came to the H again. Okay, interesting. Yeah.

So where do you take them now? Well, now we have our offices at Paramount. That's right. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Paramount's getting sold. Hey, source subject. Source subjects, really? Yeah. I mean, listen, this is one of the reasons we wanted to do a public appearance. Oh, okay. It's because the state of Hollywood, oof. Oof. Oof is your official statement. Oof is the official statement. When's the last time you saw a movie that made you want to wet your pants? I don't know.

Never? Yeah. Never, probably. Yeah, never. Never. Yeah. Yeah. Well, then you haven't been seeing the right movies. Have you seen Hot Top? I mean, Aquaman, maybe, in the sense of, like, it looked kind of cool and refreshing down there. So, like, if you think of pants as a swimsuit. Or maybe, you know, like, you have to pee, but you don't want to miss a moment of it, so you don't get up. Oh, maybe that's what you mean. Is that what you mean? Or do you mean just, like, something, the screen is so...

Just so overwhelming. So stimulating. And he gets it. You evacuate your bladder. All of your things come flying out of all the things. You know what I mean? Yeah, all the things. Every hole. Wow. This is what I'm talking about. Even ear holes and eye holes? Any hole. Any tears, I guess. Yeah, tears. You ever get water in your ears? What other holes? We want to make you cry. We want to make you pee. We want to make you do the other thing. We want to make you do it all. So if someone, if watching your movie, if someone were to cry...

nose running blood, vomit coming out of the mouth, shitting out of the ass, and jizz coming out of the cock. Thank you. And urine. And urine. And urine? Yeah, yeah. We'd say job well done, good day's work, meet me at Dantana's. Yeah, run the numbers, buddy. Wow. That's the dream. That seems like a lot, though. And they're not making them like that anymore. They're not making them like that anymore. Well, I think because it's too much clean up.

Yeah. It's got to be hard on the theaters. I guess, but people are watching from home now, so nothing wrong with putting a trash bag over the couch. That's right. That's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. That's a sign of a good night when Honey brings out the garbage. Yep. We're watching that J-Lo movie where she was a maid. Maybe.

Made in Manhattan. Made in Manhattan. Is that a sexy movie? I haven't seen it. That was the last. Is it just the way she was dressed as a maid? Because housekeepers. I had earwax shooting out of my ears on that. Yeah. That was a very romantic movie. And that was probably the last good rom-com we had. Yep. Oh, you worked on that? Yeah. Wow. Oh, yeah. Made in Manhattan. What are the bad rom-coms since then? Well, I don't like to name names, but let's just say throw a movie at us and we're going to put our Brock and Bran spin on it. Oh, okay. Well, recently we have The Fall Guy.

Okay. Where's the monkey? Was there a monkey in it? No. But that's the thing is I don't think people are using enough chimps.

You were about to say chimpanzees and thought that, what, that might be speciesist? Well, offensive, yeah. You censored yourself there. I didn't think you'd know what I meant. Oh, I see. This is for the layperson. It's the industry lingo. Okay, yeah. Chimpanzees, yeah. Chimps, yeah. In show business, you don't have time. You don't have time. You've got to shorten words. Yeah. Right, it's like saying 10-1 instead of like...

Yeah. Instead, I got to go to the bathroom. That's right. Exactly. So anyway, they don't have enough chimps in movies anymore. So if I was I was doing the fall guy and that's the one with the guy in the the the Barbie, the gosling stuntman, the stunt

The stuntman. Yeah. It's a great idea. It's a great idea, but I would say kick Gosling to the curb and put a chimp in there. Thank you. I know you remember our series, Chimp Man, right? There was three of them. So there was Chimp Man goes to the university. Okay. Then there was Chimp Man becomes president. Straight from the university to president. Yeah. Well, these are reboots. All right. Then the third one was the chimp. What happened to that one, Brandon? Chimp Man goes to the store. And that was more of that.

That was a downward trajectory. That was one that was not as thought out. And that's why, you know, we'll take that. We've had our fair share of flops. I mean, train race. That was a bust. And I'll take account, you know, that was my fault. More Brock's idea. The thing with the train race is there. Who was the train racing? The other train. We're on the same track. So it's whoever starts is going to finish. That's what was rough about train race. But we tried. We like to...

put it out there. Okay, let me list another movie. What about Planet of the Apes? What would you say? Well, that one had monkeys. That one had monkeys, but where's the romance? Where's the romance? Where's the sex? You want the monkeys to be... Dune 2. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, well, the thing with Dune 2 is where are the aliens? I mean, this is the question everyone's... Technically, they're all aliens because they're on other planets. Yeah, but that's... Do I want to spend $25 to watch it technically? No. I want to see some aliens, all right? You want to see aliens on Earth or... Wherever they are. Where's the legs? Everyone's in big flowing cloaks.

Okay, give me that. Lays, like potato chips? Legs, like gams. Legs, okay. Getaway sticks. Getaway sticks, thank you. Yes. Interesting. So what do you have coming on the horizon? Well, you know, with the state of the world, you know, we got a couple scripts that we're working on, but, you know. What does that have to do with the state of the world? He meant state of the union. Oh, is that one of your scripts, state of the union? Well, we did have that in development. State of the union, yeah. Oh, well, what is that one about? Well, that one's about, okay, well, state of the union's about the president band's dancing.

That's coming straight from the... So it's federal. Yeah. Because like Footloose, that was just like a local... That was just a town. Oh, it's Footloose. This is Footloose on a grand scale. Footloose on steroids is how we pitched it. That's right. Well, I think Kevin Bacon was on steroids when he made Footloose. I wouldn't... I saw him dance in that warehouse. I know. You know, let's talk about wetting your pants. Oh, boy. So the president does it. And then is there like a scrappy group of dancers who want to go against that? You've read the script. Yeah.

I haven't, but I mean. Yeah, there's a scrappy group of dancers underground that decide to kind of start a revolution and dance their way to Washington. So it's like Dance Dance Revolution on steroids. That's write it down. Yeah, I love that. Write it down.

Yeah. Wow. And are they successful or do they die? We're not giving you the end of the movie, man. Give me a break. I bet they die at the end. Give me a break. Give me a break. And dancing's still outlawed. Give me a break. Andy, is there a part for you in this, do you think? There has to be. You could be the president. I spend a lot of time underground. Yeah. Oh, you want to play one of the dancers? Yeah, one of the dancers, definitely. I was thinking one of the older president roles. Oh, right. Yeah, I could be president. Grandfather to one of the dancers or something. I could be president. No more dancing.

I'll tell you what will turn this country around. No more dancing. Is this an executive order or is this is the president able to pass the laws through Congress? Look, that's your job, pencil pusher. Just get it done. This is good. I'm writing a really good. I got my pencil out. This is really good. That's why I think he was talking to you when he was talking about the pencil pushers. Yes. You got your pencil. I do. I always carry a

a couple of pencils in the pocket. Is that the secret to producing? Pencils in the pocket. Never know when you're going to have to write something down. That's a good point. I mean, that works for life, not just producing. A lot of people keep pens in the pocket, but pencils, you know, you feel closer to the earth. I'm not doing a pen in these white pants. No.

That's right. You're wearing all white. It's like a linen suit, but also your jacket has a lot of buckles on it as well. Thank you. It looks sort of like Michael Jackson-esque in a way, like zippers and buckles. I pay a gal to sew those on. You pay someone. More like she pays you. I don't get it. Just sexually. Oh, you're having sex with your tailor? My buckle girl. Your buckle girl. Oh, she's not an official tailor, but she could be. Merely a buckle girl. She could be. Yeah, she just does buckles.

But I can give you her number. She's great, honestly. For what? For the sex or for the buckles? Well, I don't know. You know, you start with the buckles and then the rest is up to her. Is that how it went with you? Yeah, she's a sweetheart. She's a sweetheart. Yeah, she's great, actually. Are either of you married? Are you in a relationship? Oh, no, no, no. Not at the moment. Not at the moment, yeah. No. But it's cool, you know, because we've been working together a long time and it's fun being roommates, you know. Wait, you're still roommates? Yeah, we live in the same house. We still got the bunks, you know. The two king bunks. Bunks?

Bump beds that are... I've never seen a king-sized bump bed. Well, what time are you off? You can come over. I mean, the podcast doesn't have an end time, but Andy and I could probably be over there in like...

I would prefer the top, though, just because it's earthquake season all the time here. Yeah, exactly. I mean, whoever sleeps on the bottom, I hope you're, you know. But then isn't the roof crashing down on top of you instead of the person below you? No, I just think that the whole bed would wobble and one would fall into the other. Yeah. And you would be squashed. We got a pull-out couch you could use if you're more comfortable with that. Yeah, probably. Or I might just go home to my family. Choice is yours. Yeah.

We can do a Zoom call or something. That's probably for the best. Yeah. I probably want to stay here. Yeah. Thinking about it. Yeah, yeah. When you really talk out loud and, you know, hear yourself say it. King-sized bunk beds? Yeah, I probably am just going to stay here, too. Well, we got dogs we can put on the grill. Your choice. You like to be cozy in your own bed. Who are you, RFK? Come on.

No, we protect our own. He's in the comedy community. What? He is? Well, he's married to Cheryl. Oh, Cheryl Hines. So we protect our own here. All right. We don't make these jokes. But yeah, speaking of which, are you donors for any of the major campaigns coming out here? Oh, we don't like to get into politics. But so many of your movies are about politics. You got this one where the president outlaws dancing. They're about presidents. You never know what party they're affiliated with. That's the thing. That's the thing. You see Todd.

gun where you never the newest top gun where you didn't know who the bad bad guys were they took that from us yeah where it was like just some country you know what that does that makes people go we're united again so it makes us think like oh I know what country it is and then you fill in the blanks where it's like oh I

I bet it's. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. Hold a mirror up to yourself. Yeah, exactly. Well, so what do you have coming up, coming down the pipeline? You mentioned, of course, a couple of scripts, but what else do you have? Well, and I guess this is a place to talk about our charity for. Yeah. Yeah. We've got a charity for up and coming directors. It's, you know, no women allowed. Is the charity or is the name? That's the name. But it's a joke.

Oh, it's ironic. Yeah, if they get it, then, you know, because it is going to tell women they can't do it. But then if a woman goes, I want to do it, we'll go, yeah, well, then, you know. You got to really want to. You got to get the joke, though. You got to, like, play around in a man's world. Exactly. That's right. But essentially, it's a week intensive with us. Yeah. But it was truly over here. Yeah, we're hoping it's a woman, to be honest. Oh, okay. Because I think no doesn't always mean no. Is that kind of what you're saying? Is that what you're trying to say? Well, that was the old charity. All right, that was...

Yeah, that was the producer. Yeah, we got in a little bit of trouble for that one. But no, now we're doing... We're trying to give back. Yeah, a little bit. That's great. I mean, you know, charitable works are important when you're as successful as Brand Roll Brown in Brock Palma Springs. Thanks so much. Thank you very much. Wow, we need to take a break if that's okay. But can you stick around because we have a company mascot coming up?

Of course. And, you know, like Andy and I are always looking for work and maybe the company mascot could use some work. So, you know, this is where I consider this to be sort of an audition in a way. Right. Or we might even have some ideas for you guys. We'd love it. You might be trying to, you know, hook up with us. Yeah, that's true. Like we could pitch on your president movie, you know, like what if the president is assassinated in like the first minute?

And then the vice president, you know, the line of succession, like, comes up and goes, oh, forget what he was saying about the dancing thing. You got something there. Yeah. I think there's somewhere to start. Get the whiteboard. Let's go. After the president is shot, everyone notice he's wearing tap shoes. I love that. I love that. I love that. They try to take off the tap shoes, but it makes his legs shrivel up. When they do, he comes back to life. And then it's like,

The hunt for the president's test. But he's not a ghost. He's a zombie. He's a zombie. Yeah, yeah. But he is friends with ghosts. Love that. And he talks about ghosts all the time because he's like best friends with them. Right, right, right. Yeah. And there's still no dancing. Still no dancing. Yeah, still real uptight about dancing. Yeah, he doesn't like dancing. But the vice president's like, no, it's cool. I'm actually the president because you're a zombie. So they have like a war of...

We got to iron it out, guys. You got to listen. You don't pitch until it's ready. Okay, so why don't you take a little bit of time on the break? No, it's ready. We've talked about this before. And I think vice president is Paula Abdul. Yeah. Okay, give me the elevator pitch when we get back from the break because that's not going to fly. Did you hear what he said? Paula Abdul. Oh, I know Paula. All right, we had a thing. He could call Paula right now. She'd be down here in 10 minutes. What thing did you have? We don't need that. We just had a thing. All right, what thing didn't we have? I don't know.

I don't know about that. Anyway, we need to take a break. When we come back, we have a company mascot. We're going to have more Andy Richter, more brand roll-brown in Brockpama Springs. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. For 25 years, Mike's has been making lemonade the hard way. Mike's Hard Lemonade. Hard days deserve a hard lemonade. Mike's is hard. So is prison. Don't drive drunk. Premium all beverage with flavors. All registered trademarks used under license by Mike's Hard Lemonade Company, Chicago, Illinois.

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And you're going to expand to four questions ever or maybe even five? I mean... Not unless they pay me more. Maybe you cut it down to two. That could be a possibility. If you could get it down to one question, then you have a show, I think. You know what I mean? Where you ask the question and then you go just talk and then you walk out. Right. Oh, that sounds great. That sounds... It's almost like this show. Wait a minute. Yeah.

Mentally? We also have Brand Rollbrown and Brock Palma Springs, of course, legendary Genius Power producers here. And you guys have been rolling calls the entire time we were on a break. Yeah, no, never stops. No, no, no, no. You got me, you good guy. What does that mean? You got me, you good guy? You got my number, huh?

I wish I had your number because I would pitch you more great things. You got to get a phone in the bathroom because I was taking a deuce. I hope you were leaving one, not taking one.

I like this guy. I like this guy. Somebody get him a horn. Why do they call it taking a shit when you're really leaving it and then flushing it down? That's really great. I never heard that before. I don't know. I don't know. You need to get a computer. You could look it up. I could, yeah, I guess, but...

I'm worried about my search history, you know. Right. If I'm ever convicted of a crime. You can clear that. Incognito. You can clear it. Not for the authorities, can you? I know a guy. His name's Lance. He lives in Lancaster. Lancaster. And his name is Lance? Isn't that crazy? That is fitting. Isn't that crazy? So strange. I know a guy named Paco who lives in Pacoima. That's great. All right. We need to get to our next guest. He is, of course. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

He is, of course, the company mascot for Sleepytime Tea. This is very exciting. Please welcome to the show for the first time, EPT Grizzly.

Oh, hi, Scott. Thanks so much for having me. I'm EPT Grizzly, the Sleepy Time Tea Bear. I love your program, so please don't be offended by my yawns. Well, that's okay. It just kind of made Andy and I both yawn when you were doing it. I'm sure it's making the listeners yawn as well. I'm so sorry. I've just spent all day seeping chamomile and washing my PJs. I just can't help it.

Okay, that's all right. As much as I love being here with y'all, I'm going to be hawk-shoeing in no time. I understand. I understand. Well, you're a bear, and bears tend to hibernate, right? Oh, yeah. But I hibernate every single day. I'm only up for two or three hours. It's called sleeping. And then I'm napping. I'm dozing. I'm getting shut-eye. I love my 40 winks and my big old Zs. That's a lot of synonyms.

Well, it's great to have you on the show. EPT, is EPT your name? Because I'm used to like chat GP. Well, EPT also is early pregnancy test. Yeah. There's some confusion. My first name is EP because I'm an EP little guy. Oh, I see. I'm sorry. I had the wrong info. Sleepy but Zay cute. And then what's the T? The...

Okay. Oh. EP the Grizzly? How do you spell EP? Is it E-P-E-E? E-E-P-Y. E-E-P-Y? You'll see it on many popular memes. Oh.

That explains why I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, so E.P. the Grizzly. How long have you been a company mascot for Sleepy Time Tea? I confess I don't drink this stuff, so I am not incredibly familiar. Oh, Scott, if you need a little shut-eye, it's just the thing. I've been a mascot for them since 1963, helping folks get shut-eye and drift off to dreamland. Oh my gosh, so since 63, the things you must have seen, like the Summer of Love,

Vietnam, I am not a crook. Scott, I'm going to stop you right there. I haven't seen any of it in person because I've been sleeping, but I do see all of it in advance in Dreamland.

Hold on, hold on. You were like a precog in your dreams? Well, yeah, Scott. When I drift off to dreamland, I see it all, including how all y'all are gonna die. Oh, really? I'm listening. I mean, I'll take when Andy's gonna die. Yeah, I would love to know when I'm gonna die. Okay, well, before I tell y'all about your horrible, horrible death... They're all horrible? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. I mean, death in general is bad. Yeah. I hope that my death becomes like...

to get Richter'd. That dude totally got Richter'd. Yeah, like cement poured down my throat until I explode. That's great. Whenever that happens again, it would be

Yeah. Man, that dude got Richter. That's really good. Write that down, Brock. I'll write it down, too. Yeah, I'm going to write it down, too. Do you mind, E.P., if you write it down as well? Oh, no, it's all in my brain. I live in the past, present, and future all at once. So this is like the fourth dimension time? Yes, life and death are in twain in dreamland.

Interesting. All right, so before you tell us how we were going to die, what were you going to say? Well, there's a little context I should let you know. Some recent events that are about to transpire. Oh, yeah, tell us. What's going on?

well, you see, Placidius Sax and the seven earls of hell are about to descend on earth and reclaim what's rightfully theirs. I saw it when my mommy was kissing me on the forehead and I blew out my little candle. Oh, okay. I don't, I, I, I gotta confess. I don't know who, who were you talking about? I'm talking about Placidius Sax. He's one of the earls of hell and he will return to imprison humanity in his scream farms. Oh,

Oh, you say return. I don't remember when he was around the first time, honestly. Well, Scott, the Earth is very old, and so am I. How old are you? I mean, you became the company mascot in 63. What are you, like, 80? Time has no meaning. To tell you my age would be to make you insane. Oh, how old are you, actually? 100. Only 100? Are you going insane, 100-year-old bear? No.

Not really. I mean, there's 100-year-olds on the Today Show that Al Roker talks to. It's not that bad. Well, having Al wish me a happy birthday was a thrill. Of course, I saw it coming. Sure. Because I saw it in my dreams. I also saw January 6th and the Malaysian airliner disappearance. Sure, yeah. Are you sort of like Dr. Manhattan?

where you're in many places at once. That was based on me. Talk to Manhattan is based on E.P.T. Grizzly? Yep. The Sleepy Time T mascot? It was originally me, but they had to change it because Alan Moore couldn't get the rights. Wow. It was originally Charlton Comics characters and me in Watchmen.

That'd be so crazy to have, you know, the Charlton people. Who were they? Sandman and the rest. And then Sleepy Time. Blue Beetle. Blue Beetle, yeah. Later came into DC Comics continuity proper. Are you a comics nerd? I know it all, Scott. Ask me anything. I exist here. I exist thither and yon. Wow. Well, tell us what, I mean, tell us.

about our future okay well scott you'll be drawn and quartered by a flock of flying flesh rippers they'll tear you asunder high in the sky and your entrails will rain down on the onlookers below i saw it right after my mommy tucked me in and gave me a kiss on my forehead i was like a little mouse in a matchbook how old is your mommy if you're 100 this might drive me insane 118 oh shit

Oh my God, that is doing a number on me. So how does, I got asked because I don't think I'm close to that

coming true at this point like what series of events transpires in order for me to get there where a flock of of birds tears me asunder oh yes well these are part of the armies of hell scott they're all coming back i saw it in dreamland plathagrax or what was his name placidusax placidusax this is all placidusax related this is all he's doing yes the war between hell and humanity is coming and y'all are gonna lose i thought it was hell against heaven

Oh, no. Heaven's staying out of this. Heaven's like Switzerland. Heaven's a neutral territory. God's just laughing at us. Oh, no. I saw it all when I was putting on my giant nightcap. What about Brandon Brock here? Of course, we're talking about Brandon Rollbrown. Oh, yes. And Brock Palma Springs. Yeah, buddy, give it to me. Well, Brandon, you're going to have little pieces slashed off you and fed to the dark beast.

beast Parle, who will birth the new Antichrist, who is destined to slay Satan and take the throne of hell. I saw it while I was napping in Mommy's begonia patch. Well, I think that that's about on course. Yeah. I'll take that. Okay. What about Brock here? Well, Brock...

You'll die surrounded by loved ones at a ripe old age, having accomplished everything you set out to do, a life well lived. But your loved ones will throw your body in a pool and use your funeral money to go to Vegas and see the thunder from down under. That is actually what I would love to have happen. Thank you for that. That's going to happen. Oh, wait, are you Brock? I'm Brock all the way, baby.

Okay, dare I ask about me or? Oh, I told you yours. It's the thing where you're getting ripped apart. Oh, no, Andy then. In the sky. Oh, yeah, Andy. You're going to find some counterfeit Ozempic.

Oh, no. You're going to die from that? Oh, no. Sorry. Just know your supplier, kids. I hope some hellhounds chew me up at least. Yeah, well, your body will be there while the war is being fought betwixt heaven and hell. Sorry, earth and hell. Heaven's staying out of it. Do you know your own demise, how you will meet it? Have you pictured that? Yep.

And what? May I ask? Autoerotic asphyxiation. Oh, boy. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because you like sleepy. You like being on that border of... I mean, it's nature's sleeping pill. That's right. That's right, it is. And I could tell you more, but...

Scott, is there a place I could jack off? Yeah, I guess the corner. I don't know. I'm not picky. I just want to tell y'all everything that's out there in dreamland. I got to ask, though, how soon is this war between hell and the humans here on it? Is that transpiring pretty quickly? Because it seems like everyone's going to die from this other than Andy, of course.

And Brock. Well, yeah, that's true, Brock. Yeah, I die in a... But your body is being thrown to... In a pool, hell yeah. No, you're already dead when they throw you in. Well, you won't care. We'll have a good party for you, buddy. How soon is this coming?

Oh, well, I mean, obviously the visions, they are, they're hazy and I don't know. You never said that. Why do you say obviously? Well, because you've been very specific up to this point. Uh-huh. But now you're saying obviously the visions are hazy. Well, dates and times. I see deaths and monsters. I see specific monsters. You never said that dates and times were hazy. They're, oh, but they are. They are. I'm saying it now. I'm saying it that they're hazy. Hey, bro, lay off the bear. Lay off the bear. I've seen a lot of shit, Scott.

Okay, so dates and times. Yeah. Hazy. Early August. So you're going to get through July month, which is exciting. That's very exciting. I'm a fan. We still have two more episodes to come. Oh, boy, they're going to be doozies. Okay, please. You've got to stop yawning because this is going to make all of us yawn as well. Oh, I've just been seeping pepper.

Yeah.

The war between Earth and hell. Yeah. It's going to be a lot like Deadpool. Are you excited for that Deadpool and Wolverine, Andy? Nope. I'll tell you why, because there's no chimp in it. Yeah. That's right. It's a good point. Sexless. Sexless, no chimp. But this is going to be the first movie where Deadpool and Wolverine team up. Yeah, I know. So you're excited then?

I was told that Wolverine was done. Yeah. Hugh Jackman said last... What was it? Mason? Was that what it was called? Mason? That movie that was... What? That's the one where Hugh Jackman played the jar.

No. What's the name? Logan. Oh, Logan. Logan, Logan, Logan. I'm sorry. I didn't remember. So wait. So Hugh Jackman, by the way, his name, Hugh Jackman. It's like, come on. Yeah, come on. But he says, oh, Logan's the last one. Cut to now 12 years later. He makes another one. You're upset about this. Yeah, yeah. Because you like movie stars to be truthful. Right. And yeah.

And I just, if you're going to say you're going to, that's it. If you're going to lie like that. Yeah. So any movie star who's ever had an affair, you, you lied about their relationship. Oh yeah. Yeah. They're all, they're all dead to me. Yeah. So what movies have you ever watched then? Like, what can you see if you,

I just saw that Minions one. The Minions are okay. Yeah, Despicable Me 4, yeah. Yeah, because the Minions... Steve Carell never cheated on anybody. I'm sorry to break it to you, Andy. What? What? All of those Minions have been unfaithful. Oh, no! We love the Minions! I saw it in Dreamland, I saw it in Dreamland, but they were sucking and fucking and nobody was their wife. Oh, boy. No one was their wife. That is just hard to believe. Oh, boy.

That is terrible. And there's going to be like five more Wolverine movies. He's going to die in each one, and Hugh Jackman will say this was the last one. He'll do a little run on Broadway, and he'll impress us with his song and dance skills, but then he'll be a coming back with the claws. Maybe he'll impress us for like a movie star, but compared to Broadway stars. Well, sure, yeah. We give handsome guys extra points for stuff. Yeah, of course.

I mean, his body is impressive. His body is amazing. The fact that he just eats like... And he's pretty good at singing. 20 little pieces of chicken, like just boiled chicken every day. Ryan Gosling looks amazing and he's pretty funny. Yeah, so we give him a lot of credit. They get handsome. Well, so what's going to happen to the Sleepy Time Tea Company? Is that at the nexus in this war between the hell and the... Well, Scott, it certainly is. It will be a nexus. It will be where the new world is reborn. Right there from the Sleepy Time Tea Factory in...

In our patented blend of cinnamon, cloves, and chamomile. That is a great blend. It's a wonderful blend. It'll put you right to sleep. Wow.

That's incredible. Oh, yeah. It's patented. So no one can put those ingredients together? No, they can't. And if they do, I'll kill them. I'll kill them dead. Have you killed people? Don't yawn after you say you're going to kill someone. I'm just so weepy. Have you killed people before? Oh, I've killed many, Scott. I've also given birth. I've fallen in love. And I've chopped my own twin off of my body. What? Because...

I was born with a twin. You were born with a conjoined twin, a lot like their Cybertrucks? Yeah, that's right. I was going to ask, why do you wear a nightshirt? Because you're a bear and you don't have to, but now I know why. It's probably to cover up the scar. It's to cover up the scar because I like being cozy. I like cozy vibes. Yeah, but I mean, you're kind of covered in cozy as it is with your fur.

Yeah. If someone were to kill you and put you down as a rug, like would they keep the night shirt? I wonder. Oh, well, if they wanted people to know it was me, I have a signature night shirt. And if it was my enemy and who wanted to, you know, flaunt my murder. Is that a bear's greatest fear is becoming one of those rugs? Oh, gosh, Scott, I'll be honest with you.

I would kind of like it. It's because the rug is kind of cozy. It is cozy. Oh, man, falling asleep on one of those. Oh, I would love to fall asleep on myself in front of a roaring fire with a mug of chamomile. They have a king size bunk bed over here.

That sounds so cozy. Can I sleep at y'all's house? That's affirmative, my friend. You're coming home with me. Is there a nightstand I can put my little candlestick on? Oh, I'm going to get you one, hon. Oh, I love to blow it out right before I fall asleep. You have a real Ebenezer Scrooge vibe.

going on. That's right. You're giving Ebenezer on Christmas morning. And you say you haven't seen memes. Yeah.

And look at this guy. He's seen a meme. Anything we can do to prevent this war? No, Scott. It's inevitable. So this is unlike Ebenezer Scrooge. These are futures that are definitely going to occur unlike possible futures with Ebenezer. I mean, from everything that we're told, his past was written, but the future where people...

you know, laugh at his grave and spit on his tombstone. That may or may not happen. Well, Scott, there is a way you can prevent the war, but I don't know if y'all are up for it. Yeah, tell us. Tell Andy. You want to know about this, right? I sure do. Yeah. Well...

If y'all get plenty of rest, this will not come to pass. What are we talking like? Six hours a night? Six. Well, six out. People need at least eight. People need eight? People need eight, Scott. But I'm sorry. Y'all have your little devices. You're scrolling Instagram.

I knew a movie star who told me they got 13 and a half. Wow. I was like, how do you function? That's amazing. I'll tell you off air. That's medication. That's something going on. So if we all sleep more, we can stave off the incoming war. If you buy plenty of sleepy time tea, it might happen, but I don't know. Wait a minute.

Is this war actually happening, or are you just trying to hawk more tea? I saw it in Dreamland, Scott. Are you trying to hawk to him more tea? Okay, so you've seen memes. Okay, I did see hawk to him. You know the hawk to him. That's a fun one. That is a fun one. All right, well, look, we're running out of time, guys. We happen to only have time for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. Plugs in the air.

All right. That was What's in the Bag by Isaac Keener. Thanks to Isaac Keener. If you have a plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com slash plugs theme.

and upload it and you can be famous for a week. And Isaac, you're famous for a week. All right, what do we plug in, Andy? We've talked about these shows, obviously. Yes. You have the Andy Richter call-in show. Yes. Are you trying to encourage people to call in and goof around and tell you fake stuff? I don't care. You don't care? I don't care. If you want to lie and it makes it a better story and you can lie convincingly, that's fine.

So what do you mean like convincingly? Are you out there? Well, if you if you say, you know, have you ever been in the middle of a call and suddenly you realize someone's fucking with you and you're like,

No, not that they're fucking with me, but I have felt sometimes that I can tell when the embellishment starts. Yeah. Yeah, because people want to make it better, which I appreciate. They're trying to get some extra credit. Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to sit here and say I authorize dishonesty. Well.

Or I endorse it. But I would. But you're giving a free pass to anyone out there who wants to be dishonest. Sure. You might call on the show. Make some stuff up. Just make it good. Make it good. That's all we have. Make it good. That is the Andy Richter Call-In Show. And that is on Wednesdays at 1 p.m.

And that is Eastern on channel 104, from what I'm told. That is correct. On the Sirius XM. That's great. Wow. That's great. Yes. That's great. And Brand, Roll Brown, and Brock, Palma Springs. You got it. What do you guys want to plug? Oh, what do you think, Brand? The Big Ones podcast. Yeah, the Big Ones podcast on Patreon. Why not? What is it?

Well, it's our friends, Amanda and Maria. Yeah, each week they discuss a brain-busting moral dilemma. There's also a whole back catalog on Apple for free, so start there and then hop over to the Patreon. As the guy called in about someone he was on a first date with who showed up with his laundry and then wanted to be fisted, is he calling into all the shows? No, but I have to say I love how we were all freaking out about the laundry, and then when we got to the fisting part, we were like, that is crazy. Laughter

And where do people go to get this? Whatever. Check it out. Apple Podcasts. Spotify. The big ones. The big ones. Yeah, but the Patreon's what we're doing now. Yeah, that's the current one. Patreon.com slash the big ones. You're subscribing to this. Oh, yeah. These girls got it. They got it. They have it, really. Oh, yeah. They have it. We found them at the ice cream set up. When they were just little tweens?

That's what they said. You guys are so good at luring young people into your scheme. With the promise of sweets. EPT Grizzly, what do you plug in here? Well, Scott, you know I love going to bed, and there's nothing that helps you drift off to dreamland more than a good bedtime story. Am I right? I guess. I mean, maybe like a sleeping pill. Sleeping pills are great, but

Bedtime stories are sleeping pills that come from the imagination. They're sleeping pills made out of paper, if you read it, sure. Yeah, Scott, we're on the same page. All right, I'm going to tell y'all about a new graphic novel that's coming out. It is called Youth Group.

It is by a writer named Jordan Morris and an artist named Bowen McGurdy. It is a YA horror comedy about teenage exorcists, and it hits bookstores July 16th anywhere you buy books. Amazon, Barnes & Noble, better yet, your local indie bookstore. That's coming up. Yeah, I was talking to this guy about this show. He was on my other show, Scott Hasn't Seen, and we watched Zardoz together. Can you stop yawning? I'm sorry. I'm just so weepy.

I still don't know what E.P. means. It's like sleepy, but it's a fun meme way to say it. Oh, it's like apostrophe E.P.? Yeah, kind of. I understand now. E.P., I'm an E.P. guy. Say the title of this again. The title is Youth Group. If you like horror comedies like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Shaun of the Dead, this is right up your alley. Youth Group. It's a graphic novel, and it is on sale July 16th. Coming up. All right. Well, I want to plug. We just finished...

Three dates on the comedy. Well, we finished nine dates and then we just did another three this weekend of the Comedy Bang Bang Tour. All of those episodes are up at CBBWorld.com. But we are starting next week. We're starting back up again. We have a really long leg where we're going to Utah, Denver, Texas, Toronto, Chicago.

Detroit, Pittsburgh, Indianapolis, Chicago, Madison, St. Paul, so many cities. We're going to be out there. Tickets are still on sale for most of those. I think some like Toronto are sold out. But go over to cbbworld.com slash tour. You can get tickets for all of those and follow along with us on the tour. All those episodes are going up at CBB World. You have to

I want to caution everyone. You have to get, this is a separate feed. Go to Access and go to the Bang Bang Into Your Mouth 24. And while you're over there, you know, listen to our other shows like College Town, Neighborhood Listen, CBB Presents, Scott, the aforementioned Scott Hasn't Seen, so much over there. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. ♪

Wow. That was Nine Inch Plugs by Samuel Tama. Although it's probably Thomas and they just didn't send me the S. You know what I mean? In a hurry. Yeah, in a hurry. Just cut off the S. What do you think of music like that, Andy? It's fine. Would you listen to it for pleasure or for business?

No, I wouldn't. What do you listen to for pleasure? I listen to old soul music. How old are we talking? Like last year? Pre-1975. Really? Okay. We've got to talk about this. We do? Yeah. I want to hear about this. Off mic, of course. Of course. And I'll tell you about the movie Star Who Sleeps 13. Yes, please do. I already have guesses. Okay.

I want to thank you, Andy. Thank you so much for coming back. You're one of our favorite guests. Thank you for having me. You've been on since the early years. Yeah. And I look forward to hearing your show. And Brandon Brock, of course, I'm talking about Brand Rollbrown and Brock Palma Springs. Wonderful to have you guys on. And consider us, you know, FYC.

Yeah. Not the fine young cannibals for your consideration. You're in our Rolodex. Yeah, well, let's do lunch, yeah? All right, sure. What do you mean? Like eat a meal or? Come on by to Spago. Yeah, come on by to Spago. We'll get a smoked salmon pizza and we'll talk shop. All right. Sounds good.

Disgusting, actually. Listen, just if they're buying. If they're buying, yeah. Just shovel it down our gullets. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Look like real eaters, like real good boys who love to eat. Our mom has taught us well, right? Yep. Yeah. Okay. My boys are good eaters. All right. Thanks, Brandon Brock. And then EPT Grizzly.

Wonderful to have you on. I really hope that this war doesn't come. Yeah, thank you. Just buy lots of sleepy time tea wherever you get the hot stuff. Yeah. Wherever you get the hot stuff. Yeah. That's a weird way of saying it. Your local tea aisle.

A whole aisle for tea? That seems like a waste. At the grocery store I go to, it's a whole aisle of tea. At least put coffee in there as well or something. Nope, I never touch the stuff. All right. Well, thanks, EPT. And, well, I guess I'll see you in hell? Yeah. Hell is a-coming. Soon it'll be earth. Hell and earth will be one. You can't tell the difference after the Lord's return. But not until after July month. Well, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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