38: Having a Literal Meltdown Over Meeting Beyonce 55:59

You can do a lot with an education at Chico State. Go from top-rated academics to a 100% job placement for many majors, and from hands-on learning to real-world doing. Dare to pursue your passions by visiting csuchico.edu slash do and dare. Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. I am going to try...

my absolute hardest not to cry during this episode, but I will fail. I will tell you that right now. This is not me being funny or dramatic. I just met Beyonce. And I met Beyonce literally not even an hour ago. And I'm freaking the fuck out. Like, what do you even say, dude? Like, fucking sit down. I met Beyonce. She was everything.

That I ever thought she would be. Like that's my like. Like that's my like number one dude. Like there's not. There's not much else like in this life that. And like maybe I'm being dramatic. But like when you're me. When you're someone like me. Where like you spend your whole life loving something. And like having those things inform who you are as a person. Like when you get to meet that.

And you get to like talk to that person. It's just like, there's not, there's not really words for what it means. And there's not like, I don't really know the right emotions to feel, but it's just like, okay. Okay. So Beyonce. Okay. So let me kind of contextualize. Can we get a tissue? Can we get a tissue on set? Oh, it's just me that works here. Oh, right. I'm the PA.

Oh, I'm the PA and glam and tech. Hey guys, welcome back to the brisky report starring me your host pretty brisky. I just came back from I just came back from Beyonce's Hair line launch my nipples are out. Okay, my my fucking tits are out because the theme was all white and

And so me and Drew went, of course, because that's my sister in Christ. That's my Virgo sister. And we went and it was so beautiful, first of all. It was so locked down. They didn't even tell us where it was until like two hours before. All they told us is it's an all white, like wear all white event. Not all white, only white people at the Beyonce event. You wear all white

And show up. And show up early because they're closing the doors early. And I was like, oh, shit. So we show up super early. We see Bretman. We see Remy and Alicia. We see all the girls. And it was so cute. And it was so well done. And I'm just so, like, this isn't even me, like, sucking shit.

sucking the corporate dick. It's like, I'm so excited for this brand because when you have someone like Beyonce or even like a Rihanna and a Fenty, it's like someone who is so perfectionist in their art and their craft, they would never spend all that time developing a product or a line and not put their heart and soul into it. Like, you know, it's going to be good. And I don't even mean that as like, you know, oh, she's a celebrity. No, but it's like,

Her story of, like, growing up singing in the salon, like, that her mama worked at, like, she grew up in that environment. And especially as a Black woman, hair care is so culturally important. And so I think that everything leading up to this release, this launch, this moment, it's just been handled with such grace and care. And it was, first of all, first of all...

What the actual fuck that I'm invited? I mean, I know I don't shut the fuck up about Beyonce online. Like, that's kind of clear. Like, I never really shut the fuck up about anything. But specifically Beyonce, she's had her mom, even before, you know, Act 2 was announced. It's like, I don't shut the fuck up about Beyonce. They reached out and I was like, there's no way. And so Drew and I go. And so she does her little, we're waiting, we're waiting. You know, we got drinks and all that.

She comes out and she's just walking through the crowd. She does her little speech of like, thank you all so much for coming. And this brand means so much to me. This journey means so much to me. She told her story and Miss Tina was there, of course, and Mrs. Blue Ivy Carter was there, of course.

And she leaves. And then there's kind of this little like ballroom moment where it's a hair show and they come out and there's an emcee. And, you know, it's they had different designers come out and do sort of like hair art. It was gorgeous. It was beautiful. And of course, they played RuPaul. RuPaul.

And then that was kind of it. You know, the show was over and then I was like, it's pouring rain in LA tonight. Like this whole week it's been pissing rain and I got to be up early tomorrow. Like I was like all this stuff. I was like, I don't even think Beyonce is going to be there or probably not. But like, I still want to go, of course, because I'll do anything. I would do literally anything. I'd lay down on the fucking train tracks for Beyonce. If it was going to get her anything, I would do it.

And so we go and I was kind of like, you know, okay, if that was it. And all I got to do is see Beyonce. I'm happy. I am happy. I could die happy. I saw her. I was 15 feet from her. I'm on the way out. Okay. She left. I'm leaving. And we're on the way out and I'm walking with Drew and someone grabs Drew's arm and says, you two come with me. And I'm thinking, oh, they're going to shoot us. We were being annoying and loud. Yeah, I get it. No, I do get it. Nope. A hundred percent understood. We kind of were like, oh, a hundred percent.

This woman takes us back behind a curtain, another curtain, another curtain. We're waiting in a line. We're waiting in a line. And I look at Drew and she looks at me and we're like, no, no, no, no, no. And then we see Miss Tina. And then we see Taraj P. Henson walk out. Then we see Gabrielle Union walk out. And then it just clicks. And then my knees start shaking. Drew's knees start shaking. We're sweating profusely.

My hands start to shake and I'm like, there's actually no way that she's doing meet and greets right now. Beyonce does not do meet and greets. That is not like, she's way past that in her career to be doing meet and greets, girl, especially for something like this. Like, I don't know. You know, like it's enough to come out and be like, thank y'all so much for being here. You get a picture of Beyonce, a blurry picture on your iPhone. That's enough. She doesn't have to do anything else. That's fucking Beyonce. Take us back there. She took the time.

She took the time out of her day to be in this room. It's her mother on the couch, Blue Ivy on the couch, and then a bunch of their girlfriends. And they told us no phones, completely understandable. And she's right there. We round that corner and I lock eyes with Blue Ivy. I look away. I can't. And then I'm like, I know what's coming. And we turn the corner and she's right there.

And I literally had another fucking hairy moment where I had to look away. I literally, I can't, I cannot look at you in the fucking eye. What do you think I'm going to do? Look you in the eye. I turned around and I faced the wall and I felt the tears start to well up. And I was like, I can't, I'm going to cry again. And I was like, I can't like actually be here right now. Like it's like too much emotion because she just means so much to me. And she is right there. She's saying hi to everyone. It's me, Drew and Alicia.

And another woman, I didn't get her name because I fucking blacked out. And we're standing in this room and she starts talking. Blue Ivy comes up to Alicia Marie and says, I'm a big fan. Oh my God. I'm gonna cry for Alicia. That is so amazing. Like this internet shit is not like, it's all fun and games until it's like, you see the reach. You see like this shit actually reaches people. Dude, it's so scary. It's so scary. Like this shit is, you know,

There is a beauty to just living your life and documenting it and having other people really enjoy it. And I mean, and you know, and I told Alicia this, I said, you know, if Blue Ivy is watching your videos, you know her mama knows about it. You know she's talked to Beyonce about this. Y'all have been a topic of conversation in the Carter household. And so we walk in and I'm facing the wall. I can't do it. My knees start to shake. I literally, my eyes well up and I'm like,

And she's right there. And Drew's right beside me. And Drew's being a professional because I can't give it together. I try. And you start talking to Beyonce. She looks at me. She says, I love your outfit. I got on a white hat and a dress. And I got my little bolo tie. And I had on these cowboy boots with like a silver fringe on them.

And I was like, don't say that to me. I don't remember what I said. I said something like, girl, she said, I love your outfit. I was like, oh, my God. And I said, I love you. And we stood there talking and I kind of choked up. And Drew said, Drew is the mom. She was like, tell her you're from Houston. Beyonce, she's from Houston. And I said, it's true. It's true. And so she was like, oh, Houston girl. And I was like, yeah.

I said, 713. I said, Beyonce, what do you know about Montgomery County? She was like, I know Montgomery. I said, it's not much to boast about, but it's there. And she was like, she started laughing. I made Beyonce laugh, kill myself. And then, you know, she starts talking to Drew. She's talking to another girl. And then she comes back to me. And I said, I got to show you my tattoo. Because, of course, I have my four tattoo. Because four is her lucky number. And I showed her and she grabbed my arm. And she said, no, you didn't. She started laughing.

love her. She was like, oh, that's badass or something. Again, I blacked out. I don't know what she said. So she's looking at my tattoo and I said, I said, I love you so much. I said, thank you, B. Like, just because what do you say? Like, what do you say? There's not words like Beyonce helped me come into who Britney is. So much of who I am is because I watched Beyonce do it

And I watched Beyonce not have fear. And I watched Beyonce take up space unabashedly and talk her shit and be herself. And it just like, it meant so much to little me and me now. It's just like, there's not words. There's really not words. I think of all that a woman can be and I think of her. Like, I just, it's really not...

It's not something I can really explain well, unless you get it, you know? She is one of those artists for me, just not even an artist, just a person in my life that is, she has impacted me in ways that I'm still figuring out. And I don't give a shit if that sounds cringy. Like, I love Beyonce. I would die for this shit, dude. I'm not joking. I would die for this shit.

I would really die for this shit. Not a joke. I'll be have to my fucking core. I don't know if there's another artist alive that I would actually react that way about. I mean, Harry was a total fucking collapse. That was a collapse. Cried after that. Cried after Hosier, of course. Those men mean a lot to me, but no one means what Beyonce means to me. So to Team Beyonce, if you're watching, holy shit. Thank you so much for even thinking of me, you know.

I just talk shit on the internet. And I tell my little jokes and I do my little voices. And it's just crazy. I'm just so grateful. I'm so grateful for anyone who's ever listened or watched a clip or anything of me. Because, like, that shit is just... It's like we did it, you know? I can retire. I can hang up the fucking jersey. It's just not...

I don't really know what to say. I'm so grateful to y'all. And I'm so grateful that I get to do this because I've been on the other side and it fucking blows. I've been miserable at my job and I've done college and I've worked minimum wage jobs and I've known what it feels like to have to ration the food in your fridge or fucking go to bed hungry. I know what it feels like. And I just am so grateful to y'all and to anyone who's ever, you know,

watched me and supported me. It's just stupid. This whole thing is so stupid. It's so silly. And I got to meet Beyonce. I got to meet Beyonce. Okay. Anyway, can I just say her mother, body rocking and her body tea, Miss Tina Knowles, of course, and her body is tea. She was wearing this gorgeous, like, um,

what are those called? Appliqué, like a lace sort of, and it had rhinestones on it. It was real body fitting. It was like a pants suit, but it was fitted with a belt. And it was, it was laced with appliqués on it. Oh my God, it was gorgeous. She looks gorgeous. And she has that iconic red lip that she does. And the Essence magazine shoot just came out with, with Beyonce and Tina in it. Miss Tina, of course. And it was gorgeous. I just think it's such a

a beautiful thing and it's a beautiful business move, you know, for, for someone who so much of Beyonce set is hairography, you know, it's, it's the hair is iconic and, and how the hair changes and her hairstylists are just fucking geniuses. They're, they're trendsetters, you know, if Beyonce does it, that means it's cool. It's just, it's, it's the truth. And so it's so smart to start a hair care line and, and have that be, you know,

That's the golden standard. I can't wait. Oh my God. And this fucking party. So we, we leave after the soul shattering meeting of Beyonce. And I, oh my God, I wish someone would have been filming it. I think actually Remy got a video of us walking out of, uh, we literally were like,

Like, middle school girls who had just met Justin Bieber, we were jumping in a circle and crying, and we were fangirling over Alicia because Blue Ivy went up to her. Oh my god, Alicia, I love you so much. I love both of them. Oh, I just, I love women. Women are so cute. Like, I'm so glad my girls were there with me. It's so just, wow, I feel so lucky and blessed. Oh!

And so Remy gets this video of us walking out just in absolute shambles and tears running down our face. Alicia's makeup's running. And we walk out and we go down the elevator. You know, we're kind of hanging out in the, like by the bar. We're getting pictures with our ruined makeup. And we're just talking and we're like, this is fucking stupid, dude. I did not think this is how tonight would be.

to go. I did not think the fact, Drew and I literally, I mean, Drew's like, I've been hung over for 48 hours. Like the last thing I want to do is get in glam. But I was like, if there was ever a fucking time, it's now. I'm so glad. Even if Beyonce wouldn't have been there, I still would have gone because it's a fucking honor. That shit is an honor and a privilege and I would never take it for granted. Oh my God. And so we, we were in the car on the way home and they hand us a

cases of product. It's just so well done. It's so just, holy shit. I really don't have words for it. It's another hairy situation. It's like that. I always wondered, my first instance of

internet fame getting me to a into a room with someone who has changed my life for the better in every way was harry that was the first one and i remember thinking right after he walked out of the room i remember thinking there will never be anything that will ever top this there will be never be anything and here it is we found it dude so that was tonight um

Don't really know where to go from here. Let me collect myself for a second. Okay, if I'm puffy and my nose is red for the rest of the video, fuck off. Fuck off and grow up, dude. Like, how am I supposed to talk about anything else for the rest of my life? How am I supposed to just, like, wake up tomorrow and be like, I gotta check these emails. Fuck you! Fuck you, dude!

How am I supposed to move on? I saw this TikTok today of this dude being like, you know what's the worst part about a breakup is when it happens. Oh, soul crushing, like earth shattering, kill myself. And then you have to just like log on to Zoom the next morning. Hi, everyone. It's been raining. It's been raining in LA. Yeah. Oh, it's cold in New York.

I'm dead ass have to do that tomorrow. How am I supposed to be like, and you know, I did meet Beyonce and you know, it's even worse. It's like, I feel like I'm lying because I didn't get a picture. They were like, no phones, whatever, completely fine. Like I don't need a photo, but for this sake, you know, of like, you know, I'm gonna go ahead on the internet and talk about it. I wish I didn't have a photo. Oh dude. How am I supposed to be normal now? How am I supposed to just like be normal?

met Pedro. It's- we're not even three fucking months into this goddamn year and I've met Pedro Pascal and Beyonce! What do you do? What do you like- I don't- Oh, anyway, I was actually gonna talk about my hair. I'm actually like, okay, beyond all that, beyond 20 minutes of me sobbing over like what just happened,

The haircare line I actually am excited about because I have extremely thin and frizzy, curly hair, and I don't wear it natural. I used to. If y'all remember that two years ago, put a picture up here. I used to wear my hair like this all the time. That's my natural texture because it's my mom's natural texture.

And it's so like, I don't take care of my curls, but it's also, I have extensions, indigestion. There's so much going on in my body right now. It can't process it. I don't really take care of my natural texture. And I know that that was like, I really tried to about two years ago. And then I was like, my hair is so thin, dude. It's not even...

I'm doing heat on it every day with a diffuser and it just wasn't. So I did extensions. And when I have my hair down like this, especially when it's humid outside like it is now, my natural hair around my neck kinks up because I've got curly hair and around my hairline. And so I'm like, I'm excited to...

honestly kind of embrace my my natural curl but also treat it treat my real hair with a line that's like good instead of because I've tried fucking everything dude you know I've tried all the drugstore stuff I've tried some of the uh how do you say it ooey way

The O-A-U-I. I actually do use their conditioner and shampoo right now because it's like detox. It's like actually cleaning because I use so much dry shampoo because my hair is so fucking thin and greasy. I feel like Filch from Harry Potter. That's how my hair looks when it like after 48 hours after a shower. And so I use so much dry shampoo and then I know that clogs your scalp so you can't grow more hair or something. I'm making this shit up probably. I don't know. Yeah.

So I'm excited because it's like a cleansing shampoo. There's a hair oil. There's so much that I'm like, I'm about to crack into that bitch after this. After I wrap this pod episode, I'm going to wash my hair. I'm so excited. I've never been more excited for a wash day. Oh my God. So I actually am. I am very excited about that because, you know, even beyond the excitement of all that, it's like I get to do toys.

Being 26 is buying toys for yourself and then like having a play date with yourself. My toy for this week is Beyonce's hair care line. My toy for last week was I ordered some slime off of YouTube because to go to bed every night I listen to ASMR, of course, because you know I'm a fucking weirdo. Oh, you don't listen to ASMR when you sleep? Oh, so you're like normal? Didn't ask, don't care.

I ordered some slime from this YouTube creator that I follow. She's like restocking my whatever slimes. And I'm like, yes, yes, yes. Rating scoopability of this week's slimes. And it's, she'll make really weird ones. She'll do like Vicks Vaporub slime. Smells like Vicks Vaporub. And then she'll scoop it. She'll be like eight out of 10. And I'm like, yes, yes. God need that. Need it. I need to slime. I wish it was edible. They should make edible slime.

They should make edible slime that I can chew and then spit back out and then chew on again, okay, without like ingesting borax. She's got a Vicks Vaporub one. She made one that was like soil. And then it said, scent, dirt. Scent, dirt. Seven-edged scent. And then she'll put those little like Cocoa Pebble looking scoopies in it so it crunches real good. Yeah, into that.

But then there's other ones. Oh my God, she did this like, I don't know if it's the same girl or if it's a different slime creator. Okay, I would hate to ever mix up slime creators. I would hate to get y'all mixed up. I would never do that to you. And I wish I remembered names, but I don't.

There's this other girl who makes like Mexican candy inspired ones. So she had one that was those little like mango pops, like mango nada pops that it's shaped like a teardrop. And then it's got the chamoy stuff on the outside. Delicious. And she said that this one smells like mango chamoy. Need it.

She made another one that was horchata flavored, flavored slime. And then she'll scoop it. She had one that was, um, um, cafe de hoy, cafe de hoy. Yeah. She had another one that was, fuck me. What was it called? It had all those little like plastic things in it. Oh, sandia, sandia is watermelon. It had like little watermelons in it. Really, really. I want those. Okay. That's going to be my next purchase. But the thing with buying slime is like, where's it go?

What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? You know what's even more embarrassing? Okay, I'll put it, I guess, in like the guest bath or I'll put it here. I'll put it wherever. You don't put it in the kitchen. And so now what? When guests come over, they'll be like, why was there? Okay, so I actually did have a question about the slime in my bathroom. Don't touch it. Oh, you found the slime? I've been looking for that. Could you hand it over to me? I need a Beyonce Funko Pop. I need a Beyonce. This is about to be called the Beyonce report. I don't give a fuck. How am I supposed to talk about this bullshit? All I'm thinking about is Beyonce. Okay.

She is so beautiful in person. Her skit, she does not look a day over 25. I look fucking older than Beyonce does. And that's about to piss me off. My God, she looks so young and beautiful. My God. And you know what? I did save a playlist the other day called Beyonce wrapping her ass off because, and this is what I said on the last episode, if that act three is a rap album, don't say I didn't warn you. And don't say I'm not about to be a fucking annoying menace about it.

Top off. I've been on. Ape shit. Flawless remix. Savage remix. She raps. You bitches don't know about that. You don't know about it. Damn. Queen B, want no smoke with me, okay?

Oh my God, I've been listening to, funny enough, today, when I was like, she's not going to be there, she's not going to whatever, like, I might get a blurry picture of her and I'm totally fine with that. Like, I'm not really expecting too much. I've been listening to I Been On all day because I used to bump that shit in, like, late high school because she released, when self-titled came out and she released that, when it's her and the, like, regal, like, Marie Antoinette, you know, um...

French Revolution type wear. And it's the, and it's the, I've been on, I've been on. And that was like the intro. What was that the intro to? I've been on intro Beyonce.

I can't remember. On the album, it was like a little bit, but she didn't actually put it on the album. And then she did it in Homecoming. And I remember being like, no fucking way. Because I used to listen to it on SoundCloud, I think, that they like uploaded it. Or am I tweaking? Hold on. I've been on Beyonce release date. Yeah, she released it for real in 2019. But it was the intro. Yeah, Bow Down. That's what it was.

In December 2013, Beyonce explained the idea behind Bow Down on iTunes Radio. The reason I put out Bow Down is because I woke up, went into the studio, had a chant in my head. It was aggressive. It was angry. It wasn't the Beyonce that wakes up every morning. Flawless. I'm a fucking stupid idiot. Yeah, it's flawless. It's the intro to Flawless. And then that little snippet of her rapping was like leaked. And I think I used to listen to it on SoundCloud or on YouTube. And I memorized every fucking word.

She said, "Shout out to Willie D. You know, I was in that Willie D video when I was about 14." Looking crazy. Boudin in the parking lot. I love Beyonce! She is so fucking Texan, dude. You bitches don't know about Boudin. Damn! Stupid! I miss Boudin. Do y'all know Rez-U's? Do y'all know Rez-U's Cajun Cafe? Yes or no? Say yes.

If you, I don't know if that's a Texan thing. It's a chain in Texas. Me and Tato love it. Me and Bestie Taylor. Razzoo's, it has some of the best, like, I mean, from a chain restaurant, boudin balls, the fried boudin balls that you can get. Oh my God, they're so spicy and good. The crawfish are usually pretty good. I love, when I went on, um,

Mythical Chef Josh, what's his show called? Last Meals. And they cook your death row meal. If you haven't seen that, go watch it, by the way. Love Josh. He's my soul sister. He's so funny. They cook me my death row meal. My death row meal is crawfish etouffee. That is my favorite dish of all time.

It is something before you shoot me. Hey, before you take me out back, let me get a spoonful of that. Okay. I love a crawfish at the bay. Razu's does it good. Okay. Now, unless it's homemade from someone who's actually from like either Louisiana or Texas or Florida, I'll get Florida. Sometimes Florida makes good, there's good Cajun food in Florida sometimes. Um,

If it's not homemade, then Razu's is going to be my second best bet. And if y'all have recommendations, go ahead and send that to me as well. Because Crawfish Etouffee, that's going to do it for me every time. That is my favorite meal on the face of the fucking planet. And me and Taylor would go to Razu's after work because we both used to work in the suburbs of Dallas. I guess not the suburbs. We used to work like right outside of Dallas sometimes.

before this internet shit happened. And after work or on the weekends, we would have bestie dates at Razu's and we'd go and it's got this crazy like frog with a cigar in his mouth. That's the logo. And we'd go and we'd fuck that shit up. Damn, I miss it. Shout out to Razu's for real. We need to open a Razu's in LA. Where's the near, Razu's near me. Razu's Cajun Cafe. Let's go ahead and see. Damn, this is, it's only Texan. Oh wait, I'm tweaking. Hold on. North Carolina, Oklahoma, and Texas. North Carolina? Yeah.

There's two in Concord and Winston-Salem, Oklahoma. There's one in Oklahoma City. Look at all these Texan locations. Arlington, Burleson, Cedar Hill, College Station, shout out.

Corpus Christi, Dallas, shout out. Fort Worth Alliance Town Center, Fort Worth City View, Fort Worth Sunday Square. Y'all got three Razzus in Fort Worth? Fuck you, bitches. Garland, Harker Heights, Irving, Louisville, shout out. That's where we used to go. I used to live in Louisville. Lubbock, McKinney, Mesquite, Pasadena, Round Rock, Spring. Shout out Spring. My family lives around Spring. Stafford and Tyler.

That's a lot of Razzus. I feel very, very blessed and lucky to have lived in both Louisville and College Station where they're rocking with Razzus. It's so good. And I think their fried catfish goes pretty hard too. I'm gonna pull that up too. Damn, I'm hungry. Oh, and the rat toes are good. It's jalapenos that are, they're stuffed with like this sort of mixture. It's like a meat. I don't know what it is. What does it say? Our famous shrimp and crab stuffed jalapenos. Damn, dude.

Oh my God, you know what else I used to get? It's called the Cajun Skillet, I think is what it's called. And they bring it out to you literally in a cast iron skillet. And they'll be like, careful, it's hot. Yeah, no shit, you just took it out of the fucking oven. They'll put it down in front of you. It's got a little hand, hello? The thing so you don't burn your hand when he takes it out of the oven. Hand mitt, oven mitt, oven mitt. It's got a little oven mitt on it. And in it is...

A little bit of everything. Okay, it's got crawfish etouffee with it's the crawfish in the sauce and then the rice and it's all mixed together. And then you've got andouille sausage, which is so smoky and so good. And they cut it down the middle for you so you can see the char marks. And it's got that crisp bite to it when you bite into it. Then they'll give you red beans and rice, piece of corn. And I think what's that shit called? It's got okra in it.

It's not jambalaya. Maybe it is jambalaya. No, it's called something else. But it's a little bit of all of that. And they put it in one skillet. And that was, I would save up money in college to literally go at the end of the week, I would treat myself. I'd go to Razu's and I would buy a Cajun skillet and I would eat that shit all weekend. Because it was expensive. I mean, at the time, you know, it was like 20, 25 to 30 bucks for that. And I would eat on it for three days. I was like, man, we're rationing. Because I wanted it so bad. I love it.

love razoos i love cajun food okay um fried pickles are good the gumbo razoos is okay it's not my favorite it's all right keep it jump uh uh keep it uh uh i've never had a po' boy at razoos i never really i'm not really if i'm doing cajun food i'm not eating a sandwich girl

Taylor loves the fish. I think she would get either the blackened redfish or the tilapia. I can't remember. The alligator's pretty good. The Cajun combo's killing it. Here we go. Shrimp creole. That's what I'm talking about. Shrimp creole has, it's like tomato-based. It wasn't my favorite. I'm not a big shrimp girl, okay? I'm sucking on a crawfish. Grilled andouille, shrimp creole, crawfish etouffee, red beans, and garlic toast. Damn, I'm about to start crying. I miss home.

Oh, Razzoo's hit my line. Let's talk about opening a Razzoo's Cajun Cafe in Los Angeles, America. Go ahead and hit my line. I need this so desperately. And if you're looking to get fiked oip, if you're looking to get firked oop, they have great drinks. Yeah, the drinks go crazy at Razzoo's and I think they have a happy hour. So good. Miss it so bad. Anyway, I've been on. That's crazy. The first time she ever did it live was at Homecoming. I guess I didn't really think about it.

I've memorized that whole thing. Cause when she talked about it, when she was like, I went in the studio, I was mad because, and this is Tina posted on Instagram the other day. And it made me sad. Cause it's like, I mean, I'm not going to cry again, but,

When you are to the level and the status that Beyonce is, you don't even have to say your fucking last name. People know who you are. They know you're right. When you mention Beyonce, there is a quality that comes to mind. You know, there is a certain fine quality and quality.

professionalism and work ethic that comes to mind, okay, that's almost synonymous when you say Beyonce. It is a commitment to excellence, and it's a consistent display of excellence that it would never even, I couldn't fathom ever thinking about her and everything she's done and all of the artistic endeavors that she's committed to ever having shit to say on her.

Ever. I could never understand that. And again, I'm a stan. I'm speaking. I've been a lifelong stan. But to ever actually have a bad word to say against her, I could not imagine as a mother. And even, I mean, Blue's very young, but like the older she gets, you know, like realizing how fucking horrible the media was to Beyonce as a young woman. And even now she can't escape.

Like, I just, it's so unfounded. It is absolutely unwarranted. I've never understood it. I've never really, I mean, she's created a standard for performers that few, few, and I say that with my chest, very few have ever come close to imitating, mimicking, or even leveling Beyonce. Right.

So I've never really understood, you know, when people are like, she's overrated. She says that to you, but just hear yourselves. Do you know what you're fucking talking about? You need to grow up. You need to watch one, one concert and talk to me again about overrated. Shut the fuck up. That pissed me off. So Tina made this post on Instagram that was like, for years, I have seen the way that people talk about my daughter. And it's just like, fuck you bitches. I'm going to pull it up. I'm going to read it.

Oh, she said this too. She reposted this from someone else. She said, the Renaissance World Tour is the highest grossing tour by a female artist in history at $579 million in sales.

The Renaissance tour also broke Billboard's record for biggest one-month gross with $127.6 million in August 2023. And now the Renaissance concert film has grossed $11.5 million on its opening day and has broken the record for the biggest post-Thanksgiving opening Friday of all time.

Give this black woman her due. The crown wasn't given. It's been fought for and earned. So give her some damn respect and go see the film. We're not stopping until the comparisons cease. Period. Bitch! Holy shit! This is what I'm saying. Like, I don't understand how people could ever, ever, ever. And that just goes to show me too that like, you haven't, you haven't sat down and watched anything that she's made. And it shows. She also posted this.

When I look at something like this, where Beyonce is the number one and actually in any category, is blessed enough to be in the top 10, I stop and say a prayer. I thank God Almighty for all the amazing loyal fans that have rode with her for 27 years. It makes all the negativity seem so small and insignificant. Thank you, our Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior, and thank you to all the beautiful, creative, talented, loyal fans. I love you, period.

It's just so stupid, dude. Like it's really, you know, I understand critiquing an artist when they've done something wrong or maybe, you know, when the quality was maybe it was a flop, maybe something like that. I don't. And again, I just love her so fucking much. I don't. There's never been a flop. There's never been a bad song. There's never been a bad vocal. There's never been a bad performance. There's even her worst performances are better than some of these other bitches. I just don't.

I can't sum it up. I can't sum it up. I feel so fucking lucky. Anyway, I also wanted to completely pivot. Let's pivot for a second. I know I'm dressed like this right now. We're coming off the event. Okay. This is hot off the fucking press. I am back on A, my bullshit, B, 2013 Ariana Grande core. Okay. There's a big sort of

regression going on to 2013, 2014. And does it make me feel senile to see these edits on TikTok of like, I wish I was a teenager in 2013, 2014? Crazy. Like that was barely 10 years ago. It was 10 years ago. Shit. I see these videos and I'm like, oh my God. But it was, it was a time. Trust, it was a time.

Okay? And I miss it every day. I think about it every day. I mean, growing up in the Tumblr age was truly something that was like, I mean, it ruined me. Ruined my brain. But like, it's...

It was such a community and it was such an interesting cross section of like what was happening in culture at the time. Because if you understand Tumblr, you understand it. And Tumblr permeated like music, art, fashion, aesthetic choices, personality choices. You know, it was like it had such a grip. Yeah.

And to see that coming back, also in so many different ways, of fandoms specifically, the Tumblr era created the monster that lives in me to this day. The little fucking gremlin that runs around in my brain. All the little Spongebobists, they're just little rumple-goochers running around in my brain, knocking shit over. Don't touch that! Eek!

the little gremlins that taught me how to love things the way that I do. And it was for better or worse. I don't know if it's for better or worse. I don't know, but it's there and it happened. Around that time, I started thrifting for the first time and I started like experimenting with my fashion instead of, you know, just like, I guess I'm gonna wear a t-shirt and jeans every day.

I saw, I'll pull it up. Give me a fucking second. I saw this YouTube video. I saw this YouTube video. Get this thumbnail right here. This one, going grande in Disneyland. This YouTube video changed the fiber, the atomic level of my being, okay? Fundamentally, I was altered the first time I watched this video.

I've seen this video so many goddamn times, I'm probably one million of these two million views, which is shocking. I can't believe it only has two million views, unless that's a re-upload. No, 11 years ago. I watched this video to the point where I was like, oh, I am Frankie Grande. I think I actually might be Frankie Grande.

Because I was in, I was a musical theater kid at the time. I loved Ariana Grande. I loved, this is her first album I think had just come out. She still kind of had red hair, a little bit. She was like coming off of the Ari or the cat, the salmon cat thing. She had just released, I think yours truly, maybe Dangerous Woman was happening. I don't know. And I was obsessed. I was

obsessed with Frankie Grande and Ariana Grande. Especially, like, it kind of gave me license to be, like, a Disney adult unabashedly because I was like, oh my god, look at her. She's a grown-ass woman and they're frolicking through Disneyland, like, doing the dances to World of Color and they're doing this and, like, there's a part in this vlog specifically, and this was back when it was Tower of Terror and it wasn't the Guardians of the Galaxy ride. There's this part where they're in line for the Cars ride and

Ariana wasn't like super famous yet. Like they're still kind of running around like normal people and they're in line. And this girl in front of them has a bow in her hair, like Ariel from the little mermaid, like, you know, her big blue, like turquoise bow and her hair. That's so iconic. And it's, it's huge. And it's campy like that. Like it's not a normal hair bow. And Ariana says something like, Oh my God, I love your bow. Can I have it? Like kind of as a joke. And the girl turns around and goes, no, no,

And then like turns back around and she, or I don't know, looks at the camera and goes, I was joking. I remember thinking that was the funniest thing ever. It's not funny. It wasn't. It's not funny in retrospect, but I remember being like, oh my God, she's so funny. And then Frankie did this. Oh my God. There's this stupid dude. There's a part of the video where they're in Radiator Springs and there's a sign that says slow, you know, like drive slow or whatever. And Frankie stands under it and goes,

Like makes a face, like he's slow. Laughed. Stole it. He also, there's a part he says, I've been twerking on the railroad. Laughed. Now, mind you, was I 15? Yes. Was this 2013, 2014? Yes. Times were different. I still watch this and I get nostalgia in a way that I just, I can't.

It makes me so happy. So I have all that to say, I've decided that I am mentally regressing to that era and I'm going to start dressing and acting like Ariana Grande from that era again, because I used to do that in high school. I went thrifting for the first time to get like an oversized sweatshirt. That was the first time I was like, oh, you can buy clothes that are too big for you and you won't look fat. You won't look like a big fat hog monster.

Me as a fat phobic, like eating disorder Tumblr girl. I was like a big, fat, nasty, sweaty hog. Me in like a large sweatshirt. So I bought it and all things. The first sweatshirt I ever bought was a Notre Dame sweatshirt that said, go Irish, the fighting Irish. Guess who played Irish?

for Notre Dame, Sam Hartman. Okay. Guess who's Irish? Who's your, guess who's Irish? My fucking boy that I'm talking to, my husband. All things point to Ireland. At this point, it's not even like, I'm not even being funny. Like these are signs. I have a, nevermind. No, I have to tell you. I have a note in my notes app that's titled, I have a note in my notes app that's titled, I'm not crazy in all caps. I have a note in my notes app

I write down every time that there is a mention of Ireland because it's haunting me now, dude. I never ever in my life had Ireland on my radar before the last like month. Actually, that's after the hosier interview, it kind of became a bit of like, I'm not moving to Ireland, whatever. It is, I'm seeing angel numbers every day. I'm seeing shit about Ireland every single fucking day. And I don't even mean like, oh, my algorithm. We were driving home. Dude, get this. We were driving home from a royal court shoot

Me and Stanley on Monday, we just filmed this past Monday. Y'all are going to fucking die. Y'all are going to die at the guest we have. The next guest. So not this week. This week is the week of February 20th. There's one coming out this week that's also very good. I love it. Iconic. Love it. The one that's coming out in like one or two months, you're not going to know what to do. You are genuinely going to lose your fucking minds. And if you can guess who it is,

I've taught, it's part of the lore, okay? It's part of Rescue Nation lore. You can guess who it is. Oh, it's so good. I cannot wait for it to come out. We are driving back from filming this, okay? It was pouring rain. It had been a long day. It was a successful day. It was a lot of fun. We're stopped at a stoplight and I'm in the car with Stanley and my riders who are in the backseat and we're giggling, we're gaggling, whatever. I'm at a stoplight. I'm looking at the car in front of me and I see this. Put it up on the fucking green screen.

It says Irish and it's a medieval knight. It doesn't get more clear. Irish are in. Irish right now. Crazy? I don't know. You bet your sweet fucking ass I added it to that notes app. I'm not crazy. I'm normal. Hi, how are you? I'm normal. I'm normal. That's literally me. I'm actually really normal. And my dad always said that the man who is meant for me

I won't have to like not be weird. Like a first date, all this, like that's the different advice that my mom and dad gave me. My mom's like, be ladylike on the first date. Like let him pay. Do this. Like don't be too loud. Like don't ask him questions. Don't talk about yourself too much, whatever. My dad's like, your person, your man will tolerate you. He won't even – it's not even tolerate. It's not the right word. He will love you.

everything. You will not have to dull yourself and dull your shine. Like you should be yourself at all times. There's no point. And on the first date being like, here's a version of me that you're never going to fucking see again, because what's the point? What's the point? You're lying. You know, like we already do that on dating apps of like, here's the version of myself I want you to see. Here's all the best things about me. On a first date, like girl, I'm airing all that shit out. What do you think about this? Check this shit out.

So I've always like, I don't know, like this is me. And so if I'm making a notes app that says I'm not crazy and it's a reference to all the Ireland things I've been seeing, my man's going to be like, yeah, period. Yeah, that was a sign. And is it this dude from the dating app? Probably not. But I like talking to him and he makes me feel pretty because I am because I'm a gorgeous woman. And also it is nice to be like,

Intellectually, intellectually, yeah, go ahead and stutter on that word one more time. Intellectually, I've met my match, which is a nice feeling. So much going on, guys. So much, so much. Oh my God, there's a part two? Yeah, you know what I'm doing tonight. I'm watching part two and I'm watching the Grandes go to Hogwarts, bitch. The Frankie J. Grande YouTube channel shaped me as a woman. I don't know what he's doing today. He's married. I saw that shit in People Magazine. I said, good for Frankie Grande.

Shine bright like a Frankie. Shine bright. Damn. Frankie Grande. Frankie Grande, Rainbow Pride song. Rainbow Pride, man song, shine bright like a Frankie, WeHo Pride. That's all. If I ever met Frankie Grande, I would freak out like he's Beyonce. You know who's another one for me? Here's another. This is... Okay.

You know how Brooke has her tier system? And if you're not familiar, go watch that episode of the Brooke and Connor podcast. Brooke and Connor make a podcast. And also she has her solo podcast now. Go listen to that. She has a tier system that's like, these are untouchables. Like I can't be in the same room as you. Like for me, that's Harry Styles, Beyonce, you know, that sort of thing. Then there's a tier below that where it's like,

oh, I can't think about, I love you so much. Like it makes me sick, but like I could talk to you. That for me is like Pedro Pascal, whatever. Below that is like, I am such a big fan. I know everything about you. I want to be friends. And then below that's kind of like, oh, I love them. You're like, I'm a fan. And I paraphrase that. Like she could probably explain it way better. We need to get Brooke on this podcast. This is not a guest centric podcast, but I love, I would take a bullet for Brooke Averick any fucking day, any day of the week. I would love to have her on here because it needs to be captured.

For me, Ariana Grande is that sort of, like, tier two, like, I love her so fucking much. I have always loved her. Her antics are crazy. I will admit that, like, whatever. But at the same time, like, I don't know. Her music and her talent and her skill is just, like, it's once in a lifetime. And I'm such an admirer of someone who uses their gift for, like,

who uses their gift in a way that's so creative and so freeing. And so, you know, her whole platform was like, love, love. I just love her. I want to be friends with her. Like, that's my tea with Ariana Grande. Like, I grew up watching these videos. Like, oh my God, she used to do makeup tutorials on YouTube. I love her. I want to hang out with her. She's got her little gaggle of gays. I just love her to goddamn death. Yeah, I'd love to hang out with Ariana Grande.

And Frankie! I'd rather hang out with Frankie! I want to meet Frankie, hang out with Frankie and Ariana Grande together, okay? And then maybe Ariana stop texting me, like, yes, we'll hang out. You know, like, well, okay, fine. I think we need to bring back the 2013 Ariana Grande aesthetic. Also, R.E.M. Beauty has a lip gloss that is period. The eyeshadows I've tried, I don't think they're anything to, like, write home about, but...

They're pretty. I love the like retro futuristic sort of, you know, mod space theme of the whole line. I think it's really cute. I haven't smelled the perfumes. I've been told that they're like super sickly sweet. So I won't be purchasing them. But the next time I'm at Ulta, I will be smelling them. But yeah, R.E.M. Beauty has that lip gloss that's really good. I would recommend that. Oh my God, YSL sent me a, first of all, what the fuck? YSL Beauty.

shout out, sent me a PR package that has this mascara in it. That is, it's like this waterproof something. And I love that shit. I mean, I've been crying for the last literally four hours and it stayed. So really good. Also the glitter I always wear on my eyes because you bitches always ask.

Kim Chi and Trixie had a palette come out, and I think it's under Kim Chi Beauty. It's not a Trixie Cosmetics palette. It's a Kim Chi Beauty palette. And it's like a holographic thing on the front, and it's like this retro – I think they're in like a TV palette.

and it's got some crazy colors in it, but there are pressed glitters in this palette. That is what I always wear, and it's this like, it's not gold and it's not silver somewhere between. It's just like true sparkle. There's not fallout. It's pressed in this creamy way, but it's not a chunky, you know, creamy glitter color.

I wear it all the time. I do my little finger and then I tap it. It goes on top of every color beautifully. Like if I were to wear a blue eyeshadow, if I were to do, you know, my matte browns or my normal look, like it goes on everything. I just love it to goddamn death. That's what I wear.

Um, it's not the Urban Decay star or whatever that shit is. That's always sold out. And it doesn't have the, the, the specs aren't that big in it. Like that's more of a sort of shimmer glitter. This is glitter and I put it on and it's, it's gorgeous. That's what I always wear. Stop fucking hounding me about it. That's what I wear. Okay, y'all. Sorry for the crazy opening. Met Beyonce. Holy shit, I forgot. Met Beyonce, forgot about it.

And I guess I'll see you guys next week. I love you so much. And I'm, you know how I feel. You know my heart. I don't really have to say that much. Merch is still live if you want to go get merch as well. And I love y'all. Please be safe. And please stream Texas Hold'em in 16 carriages. And also, I've been on Homecoming live. Go get on that shit. And check out that playlist I was talking about Beyonce wrapping her ass off. Because top off, top off, yeah?

Hold on. What did she say? She said, I'll break the internet. Top two and I ain't number two. My body, my eyes, my cash. I'll re-allow my triple threat. Fuck it up and then leave. Come back, fuck it up and leave again. Y'all don't know anything about that and it shows. All right. Love y'all. I'll talk to you next week. Bye.