122 - DRUNK HISTORY ft. The Fat Electrician, King Trout & Jack Mandaville 02:31:07

Someone who ran child fighting rings for years. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do. I'll fucking choke the shit out of you.

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if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, small more. We got this. How many podcasts have you been on? Do we call you the king? Trout? We're getting the shots ready. Do you need a chaser? You want this? Jack, I also have extra cup and everything right here. I'm going to belch a lot.

Jack it feels like you're in character right now, and you're wanting to break out so hard. Are we starting? We need to start right now. Okay, we're starting. We're gonna- I'm okay. Okay, we're gonna cheers in the crack. Everyone get ready! To our friend, king of the trout. He's huge in the fishing community. The fish guy, yeah. Responder bourbon. That's actually good. That was very smooth. That's Tito's. That's called vodka. Never had it before.

I don't know if you're f***ing with me or not. Get ready for some of that. You see that headband? Why would he have vodka? Okay, oh, and then we pop it. Ready? Three, two...

What's up everyone and welcome to the unsubscribe podcast. We today are joined with the fat electrician. Hi. Mr. King of Trout. The King Trout. King Trout? King Trout. And the beautiful Batty Streams. Batty, you look fantastic today. I need to pee already. Go pee now. Scoot the mic closer to you. Not in front of your bed. Go pee. I need to pee. Okay. Jack Mandeville.

Welcome, everyone. Dude, this is last minute. We just are introducing... You're meeting everyone for the first time. I showed up 12 minutes ago. Yeah, at a restaurant, a bar that was closed. That's why we didn't go in there. We pulled up and we're like, yeah, this will be good. You can get food. Oh, they shut down. Yeah. Oh, okay. I was like, I was just here last week. Huh. Next place it is, home. And I smoked seven cigarettes in the parking lot. I know. I didn't get to smoke one for like an hour. I was shaking. I'm so...

I've been planning on being on a podcast with Jack for a while now, and I'm mad that we improv'd it today because I wasn't ready for it, because I always told myself that when I first get to be on a podcast with Jack, I was going to buy him a really, really nice decorative Bowie knife and present it to him, and then go on a huge spiel about how much of an American hero Jim Bowie is. Jim Bowie was a piece of... Are you serious? Are you trying to... Look at this reaction. Are you triggering a... You had this plan.

No

- Oh, David Bowie. - Jim Bowie was a piece of garbage. - He was a human American icon. - No, even for the time he lived in, people fricking hated him. There's a reason why he was there as the last place he could go. He got ran out of every place he was at. He was a debtor, he owed people money. He was an absolute piece of caca. - Bro, I'm dead ass serious. That's like a great grandfather of mine. - Yeah, you're descended from . - That makes sense.

They start beating the shit out of each other over here. You knew what would trigger Jack instantly from the... Oh, that's why I really wanted the Bowie knife here. I was really going to do it. It would have been amazing. Now time to Ryan Reynolds myself. And Jack would have went off to the great skies above. Jack's just holding his tongue. He's like, he's on edge already. What is this right now? There's a great...

walked in here and pushed the red button on Jack immediately. I know. I was keeping that in my back pocket. It was like all spiraling down her hand at the end.

I know what you're thinking. Where is this going today? Alcohol. We have no idea which way this is going. This was assembled today. Can I have more vodka, please? Yes, of course. We assembled this studded cast today. Everything was like, hey, let's do one today. We got to redo this. Our beautiful boy, Batty, can't make it today.

Love you, Batty. This is what my seventh grade science teacher called homeostasis. So now Batty's going to be like watching this episode and be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So King Trout, how long have you been? Dude, okay. You have randomly enough. Brandon showed me your page three weeks ago. Brandon's like, have you watched this guy's stuff? He's like fucking hilarious. What are we doing? Oh, putting it right here.

but I didn't see your stuff before that then it popped up I was like wait he kind of looks familiar then I started watching you stuff I was like I think this dude's actually he's good he can he can hang with the boys yeah just been doing it for a couple years so what are you doing for you're still are we allowed to talk about like you're just now breaking into social media so you're like probably still working in nine-to-five no he retired look at that fucking watch yeah my armatron yeah

That's 20 years in the factory right there, honey. I didn't bring my Casio because it had fucking paint on it. You work at Honeywell for 40 years or what? The fucking AC guy left 10 minutes ago. It's nice and warm in here. That goddamn 3M earplug lawsuit cost us a job. I was like, no!

So we have, so 9 to 5 still. Are you allowed to go into your 9 to 5? Yeah, I can talk about that. What is it? I am a private general contractor. No shit. Private general reporting for duty, sir. Yes, sir. It's like half parade rest, half salute at the same time.

Were you military? All of us were. X, I'm an ex-Marine. I don't want to hear any of you ex-Marines complaining. There's a reason I call myself an ex-Marine. When you're old and bald and fat and you call yourself a Marine, you look way more than pathetic doing that than just calling yourself an ex-Marine and acknowledging what you are, a fat, old ex-Marine. Jack, you couldn't see your stomach.

Stand up a little and then you can do that. I couldn't take my shirt off Tommy just don't see there's a big statement if a girl is like you said I couldn't like this. Hold on.

And then I was like, no, you can show your stomach. She's like, you said I couldn't take the shirt off. Waller on the topic of the Marines. I had big news for Jack that I've been waiting all day to share. Let's hear it. So we talked about Sergeant Reckless a little tiny bit because that was my last video. Wait, hold on. Audience, do you know Sergeant Reckless? Oh, fuck. Okay. You're more American than me. Thank you, private commander, sir.

Quick synopsis. Horse. During the Korean War, the Marines bought a horse from a racetrack in Seoul, South Korea from a young Korean man by the name of Kim Hook Moon because he needed $250 to buy his sister a prosthetic leg. I believe her name was Eileen. Or was it Peggy? It doesn't fucking matter. They bought this horse, they trained it, and then they taught it how to...

They taught it how to carry ammunition up the hill, right? It carried a bunch of ammunition. It ended up helping to win the Battle of Outpost Vegas and basically preserved South Korea as we know it today. And then they brought it back home. And when they brought it back home, one of the things they did for like a PR stunt because Sergeant Reckless was famous...

Uh, when she got pregnant, they put a big ass billboard outside of camp Pendleton that said it's a dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. And everybody was super pumped because reckless was going to have a baby. And then once they found out she gave birth, it was a boy. They named, named it fearless. And, uh, they wrote, they went out and they wrote, it's a boy in blue on this big ass sign. And the Marines were all pumped and they threw a party and the Marine Corps unwittingly created gender reveals and gender reveal parties, uh,

It's very progressive service. It's a very progressive service. No, but listen. I did that, right? I said that in my video and the next day, the author of the last Sergeant Reckless book and like the person that runs the foundation got a hold of me and she's like,

It's kind of becoming a thing because apparently it was like well-decided fact that gender reveals were invented in 2008 by some lady. It was like in Wikipedia and all the news articles and everything. And now we're trying to rewrite Wikipedia and say that the Marine Corps created gender reveals because it's true. But you're saying Sergeant Reckless was a major reason why South Korea exists today. 100%. So they're the reason why I can't make a goddamn group text and I got to worry about the fucking green bubble guy? Knock it off.

Are you a green bubble guy? I just switched to an iPhone. It's not that much better. You're part of the fam now. You're a green bubble guy? No, I'm a blue bubble guy. Blue bubble? You're blue bubble. Blue bubble. Yeah. Okay, then let's talk smack about green bubble people. No. And Korea. And Sergeant Reckless. There's no one here to defend him. Didn't you think the horse was confused at first? I do not speak English.

And just like walking up that hill. That is not how... That's how a horse speaks. That's not how Korean sounds. That's a Japanese horse. Let me think. Wait. Korean. Ah, wait. Hold on. I can actually do... I fucking hate... I know how the cadence is of every Asian culture. Yeah, I don't want to say it, but you should know Korean. Oh, okay. Dude, a weight lifted off your shoulder. Fear in your eyes. You were like, you are Asian, right?

I was like, I didn't know we were doing voices. What kind of fucking podcast is this? And not to detract from what you're going to say here,

Not to detract from what you're going to say. Wait, I can do one. It's called safe racism. As long as you're making, like, I'm wholesale white, so I can make fun of all the whites from Spain to the Slavs. I can do the northern whites. I can do the southern whites. Technically, Middle Easterns are considered whites, so I can make fun of Middle Easterns, too. I can't go beyond that because I have to be a safe racist. You're pretty lucky.

Mex Latino, you technically fall into the Latino and white and Asian category. You have a lot of racism opportunities, Eli. I know. Trust me. I have many cards. Yeah. Many, many cards. You want an autism joke? Here's my autism card, too. My son's autistic. Nice. He's amazing. And how many of your military friends... It's nice my son's autistic? Fuck yeah. Thank you, King Trout. I probably am. And how many... I've seen my kimono.

I took a test online. It said that I was. Well, I'm saying how many of your military friends, Ryan Reynolds himself, right? You can make Ryan Reynolds joke all the live long day. Yeah. Well, when you're trying to get into Hollywood, that's what you do. Yeah. Okay. Attention all my bearded beasts from stubble to Maine. If you didn't already know, Manscaped now sells beard products.

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Okay, back to the horse. I can't think about the Korean accent anymore. I know when I hear it, I'm like, fuck. Okay, I'm going to pass on this one. I can do every other Asian accent. The fuck Korean to English speaking is so different. They do taekwondo. That's what I know. I'll do a great one for you off camera. No, do it. Okay, I give you permission. My least favorite martial art. Taekwondo. Bro. Wait, you're...

Oh, yeah. Go ahead. Sorry. No, go on your Taekwondo rant. Nothing. I did Taekwondo when I was little. I've been doing Jiu-Jitsu for over a decade, and I'm not a black belt at it yet. And it's just every middle-aged woman like, oh, you do martial arts? Yep. Karate? What belt are you? Purple. Purple.

Is that higher than black? Yep. No. Oh, my nephew, little Timmy's 11. He just got his black belt. Cool. I can beat the fuck out of that kid. His balls are still there. I can fucking drop him in a second. They just opened a karate joint behind JT's place. And I've been trying to talk Caleb into going down there and enrolling and just us beating the shit out of kids all day long. Oh, you're a freaking 11 year old with a black belt. Great.

I would love to kick the shit out of some. Yeah, we'll film it. We'll probably getting canceled Not holding back make a joke about our editor and this one GV is gonna be like Can this one just go straight to patreon? Where's your editor? Where's he located out of? G-band where you located it? You're really? Tel Aviv somewhere north

Right, G-Van? You live in Iowa. That's me, dumbass. No, I think he's also in Iowa. No, he doesn't. What city? There's three of them. If I'm struggling with the state. The four-letter state. The four-letter state. I don't know. He's in the one Slipknot's from. That's Iowa. Yeah, where? Slipknot's from Waterloo. Why do you know that? Because I'm from fucking Iowa. Las Vegas?

I was like literally like we created Slipknot and GMO corn. That's it. That's it. Like we prevented world hunger and then gave you Slipknot. You guys also gave us Herbert Hoover who started world hunger. Yeah, that's true. That's fair. I'll take that. Good old Herbert Hoover. This train needs to go this way. Hey, Grant Wood.

And Grant Wood. I didn't know that, actually. Oh, yeah. Aside from the American Gothic, he also did a beautiful Iowa landscapes. He made Iowa look pretty as shit. Oh, goddamn. Do you know who... What's his fucking name?

The Music Man, the movie. Like the famous fucking Music Man movie. Glenn Miller. Glenn Miller's from Iowa. Well, he's from fucking Mason City, right? The Music Man movie from back in the day is about Mason City, Iowa, the town I'm from. Yeah. And fucking nobody in the city government is letting this shit down, okay? Yeah. A movie was loosely based off of this shithole town in Iowa 60 years ago. We're naming fucking dicks.

buildings after it. There's no fucking river in Mason City, Iowa. Every business is called River City, whatever, because there was a movie loosely based around us once that got like 30,000 views. I get more views on a fucking TikTok than that movie did in 70 years, and it's made every high school graduate from Iowa watch it 17 times, K through 12. What's this movie called? The Music Man.

So who's the actor? It's about Glenn Miller, I'm assuming. But who's the main actor? Oh, I don't know. I've never heard of it. That's an Iowa thing. Yeah. Was it like Dick Van Dyke? He's from fucking Minnesota. They just looked down. We have tall buildings where I come from. Literally and figuratively. Corn and tall buildings. They just have corn. And you're from Indiana? I'm from Indiana. Where? The northern half.

I'm gonna assume he means... He's from where? Hold up. Diana. No, he's not from Gary. He's white. Gary, Indiana. I'm gonna assume... Barry. Yeah, I know. You have that song, and then now it's just crying. I'm pretty sure that's from the music man. The whole time you were talking about music, man, I was like... Yeah, no, that's where that song's from. Is it for real? It's about Indiana, I think. Yeah, Gary, Indiana. Gary, Indiana. I don't think so. I don't know. They literally say Gary, Indiana. It's a song, dickhead. Why would they sing a song...

In another state, in another city. I don't know. You ever listen to Straight Outta Compton or any other fucking song from any other state ever? They were all from Compton. Yeah, they were all from Compton. You see that? God damn it. I hate everything.

I heard the metric system is a touchy subject for you. What do you want to know about it? I'm so fucking sick. Go ahead. Can I just do a quick white guy edit of Straight Outta Compton? I would love it. Straight Outta Compton, crazy mother father name Ice Cube, from a gang called Fellas With Attitude. And that's what I'm doing. And Jack...

While he's wearing a shirt that says "Tecano Revival." Te-Chan-o! Te-Chan-o! Te-Chan-o! I thought your wife was Mexican. She's Guatemalan. Same thing. Not really. I also do Tucker Carlson impressions of Wu-Tang lyrics. What? I said I do Tucker Carlson impressions of Wu-Tang lyrics. Oh. Wait. That's it. Anyway, it's about the metric system. Back to the metric system. Yeah, what about it? What do you want to know? It fucking sucks.

I agree. I'm just the first person who agrees with you to talk. That's fucking true. The internet hates me about it. Yeah. It's a weird subject. You're like, wait, you are pro metric system. He's pro Imperial. Oh, really?

Oh, really? Imperial. Imperial. I thought it was called standard. The other. I like calling it imperial. Imperial. Imperial standard. Same thing. But like you understand the metric system, right? No, I get it. Yeah. I just think it's dumb. You sure you get it? It doesn't make sense for human beings. Even though like 98% of the world is using it. It doesn't make sense for human beings. I think 98% of people are fucking idiots. So that makes sense. I agree with that.

You have narcissistic personality disorder, huh? That's for sure. Okay, all right. No, hear me out. Hear me out. What if we based a measuring system off of people? Yeah. What if we had Fahrenheit and zero...

We have what, Kelvin? We have Fahrenheit? And 100 was fucking hot. Oh, wow, that would make sense. The world is like, instead of just relating it to how people feel, what if we brought in a third characteristic, water, and then zero is where water's freezing, and then 100 is where water's boiling, which makes sense until you realize that water as a variable changes water.

with a bunch of other fucking aspects. Water boils at a different point at altitude than it does at sea level. It all changes. Now everything's on a fucking spectrum that makes zero sense. Because we're rating everything in relation to water.

I'm immune to it. I'm just going to go right past it. And then everybody in the comment section every fucking time, because I'm like, fucking there's no metric on the moon. And they're like, oh, this fucking idiot doesn't know that they don't use, they use the metric system in the moon landings. But that's a fucking lie. Because guess what? NASA didn't adopt the metric system until 1992. And guess how many people have been to the fucking moon since? Zero. I love your level of Rain Man right there.

But what, okay, you gave a great definition from like... It was too scientific. Yeah, Fahrenheit to Celsius. Yeah. But meters, kilometers, millimeters. It's stupid. What about them? It's fucking, it's stupid. All right. In, it's normal distances when you're measuring things as a fucking human being. How many inches are in a foot? 12. How many feet are in a yard? Three. Okay, now watch. How many...

- Millimeters are in a hundred meters. - I can't divide by 10. I don't know. - You don't have to divide. - I don't understand. - You take away milli... - How tall are you in the metric system? - In the metric system?

Duh. That's a bad example. No, because he's either going to be 100 and something. I can tell you 100 kilometers an hour is the standard for 62.5 miles an hour. I'll give credit when credit's due. And if you're at the bar and you start giving out measurements and you're telling people how long the genitals are, you do it in the metric system. That's true. 4 millimeters. No, 40. 40.

You get to add a zero. You get to add a zero on every number. Four millimeters. Okay, we don't add a zero for some of us.

It's tiny. Get the micrometer. We're going to find out exact measurements. But I mean, like, for real. So like when you're measuring like huge distances, yeah, doing tens does make sense. But also measuring huge distances isn't something that you're going to do like as an individual all the time. So that's why guys do.

But human height. Like normal people. Like, I get your point, but like the part that bothers me is the metric systems. Oh, it's base 10. It's really fucking easy to just move the decimal. That's great, but it's also easier when you do a standard, which is base 12.

Because the advantage to base 12 is that you can split it up into fractions because 12 can be divided in half. That's six. It can also be divided into thirds, which is four, and it can be divided into fourths, which is three. You are gaslighting me with math right now. Why am I fighting you? I have the same argument as you, but I'm disagreeing with you right now. Yeah, see? You just lost your teammate because you started bringing in fractions. You're like, you want me to make this easier? Fractions. You're like, no, I don't like this no more.

Human height- This is not my favorite anymore. I'm 170 centimeters tall or I'm 1.72 meters tall. There's no in between. Feet make sense. I'm six foot two.

Bing boom. See, I like it. No, you're fucking 74 inches. No, that's because you grew up in that system. That's fine, dude. That's a reasonable number. Just because you grew up. No, temperature. You go outside. Oh, it's hot as fuck. It's fucking 28. Oh, it's cold as shit. It's 27. That's the thing that bothers me the most is like, oh, change the thermostat. 27 to 28 Celsius is like fucking. There you go. That's the difference between it's chilly in here and I've got ball sweat. Yes.

I need to know if metric thermostats go by decimals. They have to. There's no reasonable person that's just changing it by a whole degree Celsius, right? Wait, do we go with Kelvin? What's in space? How's space measured? Kelvin is... There's Kelvin, Fahrenheit, and what's the third? Fahrenheit is how humans feel. Fahrenheit is how humans feel. Celsius is how water feels. And Kelvin is how atoms feel. That's the rule.

Adam felt real good at me last night. Heyo! Eve up top! No, his name's Adam Johnson. He's a really nice guy. I think I'm falling for him. Nice. K versus C. Wait, there's a C? What's the C? Celsius, you fucking potato. What's the other one? Kelvin. There's three. Fahrenheit, Kelvin, and Celsius. Okay, we got it. The thing we both sang for the last five minutes. I just said an I finish.

High school. Thank you. You didn't finish high school? No, I have a GED. Nice. I finished good enough. I'm proud of you. Thank you. I joined the infantry. Do you think I was like, I'm going to be an astronaut? He's rocking the GED. Yeah. Good enough diploma is all I need. You know who else joined the infantry? And he became one of the biggest leaders of all time, changed the world? Hitler. Jesus.

I didn't know we could do that. This is going to be Jack's interest inserts of bad history. You know who else did that? This person. Jack Vanderbilt. Never change. Napoleon was also an infantryman.

Brilliant. Was he a terrible painter as well? Infantry is the scariest MOS in the military. It is the worst MOS. There's two types of people. There's a spectrum of genius to morons. Yeah, there's like, this is all I qualified for, and I qualified to do a lot more, but I want to be here. It's terrifying. Oh my God. You start talking, you're like, oh shit, you're actually really smart, and you just want to be here. Oh fuck. This is it. That's really scary. You're not a panel elector. Yeah.

Like these.

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It's not a judge in threat. You get a choice. That's a good question. Did you choose? Oh, yeah. I knew what you wanted to do. He's not smart at a lot, but what he's smart at, he's really smart at. I listened to him go full spectrum talking about cameras for 20 minutes today with another photographer. You want to feel out of your element. It was terrifying. Even the photographer's like,

Bro, the dude was wearing, I swear to God, this dude was wearing his own shirt with a fucking camera right here and his name right here. He owns a fucking production company and he worked in Hollywood. Five minutes into the conversation, he's like... Are you just listing numbers and shit? I cannot tell you how many people that worked in Hollywood that, like, no, they're...

People who have worked in Hollywood a lot of time is like, I had two jobs over a 15-year span. This guy's been working every day for freaking over a decade now and learning that craft. I'm like, I love cameras. Please.

This is what I do. My son got this from me. LA is the worst example of people. It's all posturing. It's all wording things the right way. Like, yeah, I've been a working actor. No, you've had three gigs in the last freaking 10 years you've been out there. What we say is, oh, where do you serve at? That's not what you fucking said. I was there for that conversation. Eli opens up with...

I dabble and then proceeded to fucking talk this poor dude under the goddamn table. It was terrifying. I love camera gear. We talked about it there too. Brandon's cause I didn't even talk to Brandon Herrera. Yo, shout out for a boy. AK guy. He hates that name. Uh,

He was like, I'll talk to him. I'll be like, man, you see this new camera I got? This is what I got. And I'll show him and I tell him all the specs. He's like, Eli, you need to just do a camera channel. Yeah, why don't you? Why don't you read the specs for cameras? Just numbers. I know them in my head from like...

I do it for fun. Color grading. Do it for fun. Editing, directors, everything. I do that for fun, and that's when I realize I'm weird when I'm around normal people. You know what I should call it? You know what you should call your channel since you're a Mr. Infantryman? Lights, camera, violence of action. I hate that's actually a really good one, too.

- Oh, that'd be the most-- - Eli's camera, violence for action. Welcome back guys, this is Eli Quavis and today we're talking about the Canon C70 and 16.2 stops of dynamic range. Guys, when you want C log two and what it can do in post production, this is what you're looking for in a camera. You team this up.

With the RC3 DJI Pro Series, you are looking at cinema-grade quality every single moment once you hit that record button. Not only do you get four audio channels that are individually... What's the word? You can change them. Selector switch from safe to semi? We'll go with that. And then I go into that. And I hate that I can do that. I fucking despise my TSMC cameras. I just...

This gear is my tism. As somebody that had, like, a normal job, and then one day I was like, fuck, I have to buy a fancy camera. I know nothing about it. You did hit me up. The level of, like, you go on YouTube, and you're like, I'm just some asshole who made a video for free, and he's going to teach me. And, like, indeed, that did happen. It's just every other asshole on YouTube making camera content is, like...

How do I? Terrible. They have a very punchable face. Oh, yeah. It's just like, I would not want to have a beer with this motherfucker. They're condescending. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the C70. If you can hit like and subscribe, leave a comment below. We've been doing this for 13 years now. Trying. If this video hits 1,000 likes, I'm going to give eight shout outs. That's right. And a giveaway.

Four minutes later, "Okay, let's get into that gear." That's what I'm saying. Face reveal at 20 subs. I just want to know how to turn fucking autofocus on my new Sony a7 IV. I don't need a 20 minute video. Dude, shout out to the Indian kids who record the fucking videos about how to fix your technical issues. They got like 20 views. No, but your fucking problems on the planet. In-depth guide.

Step by step. What happens when camera is set to this, but facing north and this happens. Indian guy, you hit it and a short pops up. It's like, and it's a short fucking subscribe, bro. Unregistered hypercam too, dude. There's no talking. A lot of the time, it's like a background. The mouse goes up to click a program and it shows you everything. You're like, dope.

Hey, it worked. And we're golden. And we're off. Again, have you seen the movie White Tiger on Netflix? Oh, no. I thought you were going to say Triple R. No, no. White Tiger. Highly recommend. Brilliant movie. Please. India. People really underestimate how India is going to be a top-tier society here in the next 10 years. Oh, for sure. Society. I get super mad because like...

Nobody talks about India in World War two. They lost more than anybody! I don't know. Maybe not as much as China. They fought in every fucking theater though. No one gives India the cred for what they did in World War two. They're incredible. Because the Brits, the Brits who basically used the Indians were like, we won the world by. What? I'm going to put ice in it. Thank you, daddy. Eli, can you believe we've had seven months without an NFL game? That's crazy, Canadian baddie. What?

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The Indians did all of that. They did 99% of the grunt work for the British. Significant portions, yeah. It was insane. Fought in every theater. Nobody fucking talks about it. They don't bitch about it in the comment sections anywhere. They're just like, we did it, whatever. And that's the crazy thing is like,

People get super nationalistic when it comes to World War II. You really see people taking a lot of pride for shit they never did, right? You never see Indians chiming in about that. If anybody has a right to take a lot of pride, like, yeah, we lost the second to the most people in the whole thing. Like, militarily, not civilian-wise. First off, it's Native American. Yeah.

What was that like? Like I got two stone faces and then... Sorry, you fucking caught me with that one.

Were they actually second? Because I didn't know that. The Soviet Union's a first. I know that because all the fucking Soviet Union sympathizers never shut the fuck up about it. Oh, so many of us died. World War II. Oh, hey, can I read my exchange with Gary after this? Oh, my God. Military. Yeah. Casualty.

Because, okay, Russia lost 20 to 40 million during World War II. Yeah, it was like 2% of their population or something like that. Yeah, there was a lot of... I'm so fucking sick of hearing people talk about the Soviet Union.

You know actually the Soviet Union's why the Allies won World War two because the most of them died It's like you had the shittiest KD and you're claiming credit for the W you got all carried sided with the fucking force You're fighting with they made agreements then Hitler staff stalling in the back. I'm sorry. They were that happened. I

You can't be like, well, they won for us. It's like, no, no. They fucked up. They joined that side. Then that side backstabbed. And then they fought with a lot of people dying. Go ahead, Jack. The Italian method. My apologies. They were. The losing side. Not me. That's how they all sat. They were four. Oh, no. Americans are invading. So Soviet Union in China, which I mentioned earlier. I didn't know this. So third place? Third place? Always third place. The Polish. The Poles. The Poles? Yeah. Yeah.

They had the third most amount of casualties. That's not third place. That's third from last place. Touche, my friend. Oh. Marine Corps just had their first...

Seek marine graduation. I saw that. Yeah. When, uh, yeah, he had, he was wearing the turban. Yeah. It looked bad-ass. It was awesome. I thought it was awesome. Yeah. A lot of people were butthurt. No. Well, I read the comment section. It's the same people. It's the people you expect to be butthurt. Don't worry. They'll be dead within 30 years. Like, no, but he looked great. And by the way, like if you know anything about the history of seeks, uh,

They're fucking hardcore. Why would you not want them in your military force? If you have self-inflicted rules preventing Sikhs from being in your military, you should change your fucking rules. That's what we're finally doing in ours. They've done some crazy ass shit. It's the only...

I think it's the only religion that requires you to carry a weapon at all times. And by the way, the United States honors that. Yeah. And like, I think even in, I think for international flights in like a significant amount of countries, they're even allowed to carry like a small dagger with them as long as it reads,

meets like certain like length requirements and everything. Like it can't be too big of a weapon, but like they still honor their religion enough to let them bring a knife on the plane. Bro, I'm about to convert. Dude, they're hard as fuck. Yeah. Sikhism is a, me too. It's crazy to this day. And again, we've come a long way. Yeah, but it sucks how they automatically, I got identified. They were like, Oh,

during that entire 9-11. It really showed how... What the fuck? No, they're not even from close to Arabia. It's not even close to the same religion as Islam. Literally, it is two opposite things. And then you had that, which was crazy to watch because no one did the research on it until like

Hold up. Like, Christianity is closer to Islam than anything she... Yes, that's actually true. Which is 100% legit. Which is fucking mind-blowing. Like, sometimes I'm like, yeah, we know Jesus. We love Jesus. So he's like, who the fuck is Jesus? I worship the murder god!

Got fucking nine arms. Purple skin, dude. This is not our thing. What the fuck's going on? It's crazy. My God cuts throat. That's why I get this dagger everywhere. As long as it's under four inches on a plane. And the blade has to flip out. It can't automatically extend out. Dude, Indiana just legalized throwing stars this year.

Why were they illegal in the first place? Indiana has some of the... I used to live in Crawfordsville, Indiana. Nice. I have no idea where that is. The only up to in the United States, up to all male colleges, Wabash College is in Crawfordsville, Indiana, 30 minutes south of Lafayette. We call it Sausageville. Bro. Yes. Can you imagine the smell of an all male college? It is weird that that's what I grew up around. I imagine it smells like basic training.

Basic training smelled so bad we'd take dryer sheets and stick them on the back of a fan. This is an air freshener. Where did you get a basic? Sill. He's terrible. I'll take Sill over bending. How many times did you wake up with a fucking scorpion on you? How many times did you get woken up by drill sergeant in the middle of the night?

All of them. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, we had drill sergeants there, asshole. Did you have scorpions? No. Yeah, fuck you. We had fire ants and shitbags. Yeah, we had fire ants too and shitbags. What are they whispering over there? We're just admiring this big-dicking contest. Why don't you guys just whip it out? Oh, I'd love to. How many times did you wake up with cum on your back? Dude, five times. You? Seven? How many crayons did you eat? Okay, this determines... That crayon's over there. That's over there. I don't know shit, dude. This determines...

Who's the best military veteran? Which one of you is the closest to Ryan Reynolds than yourself? That's for sure him. I'm terrible at the military. I'm fucking thrilled to be here. We actually talked about this today. We were just talking about the veteran space. You know, I was in the Army, too. Kiss Army. Never miss a show.

I was like, Jack, if you get us flagged for copyright, I'm going to fucking send you the bill. Are we doing taxes? I just didn't bet. I'm like, Jack, this is how much they charge us. Bro, that was probably enough to get you copyright stricken. I know. Dude. Unfortunately, Jack, that's actually the truth. I can't say it. Yes. Dead ass serious. That's literally what you have to watch out for. Jack was like, what if I say this? I'm like, not today. We have to do this. And now he's saying. 100%, that's enough to get you copyright stricken.

Saying those words in the right. You want to help bad fucking copywriting the internet? I've been trying so hard to keep it within the lines. Jack, you can say one line of a song. And we discussed this today. What song was it on The Office? Told you. Because this is a metrics. Paradise City?

Two Tickets to Paradise. Yes. That cost $70,000 for that. Jesus Christ. Just saying. You guys have to pay that much. No, the Office, the TV show, had one character sing the lyrics to... He said Two Tickets to Paradise. He sung Two Tickets to Paradise. He sang two lines of it. It cost him $70,000 for the rights to do that. That's how fucked up the music industry has a stranglehold on media. Jack, this is...

You invited two unhinged people on here and I have been very between the lines, sir. Go on. No, I maintain I didn't know we were breaking the rules. Can we do that? I will do the Korean voice.

You can bring every rule you want. No, I'm not. I would like to point out that him wearing a kimono is cultural appropriation. Oh, yeah. We'll get mad at that. Hey, are you Japanese? You know where a kimono is from? Say thank you in Japanese and I'll let it pass. Arigato. Arigato gozaimasu. Arigato gozaimasu. You actually got it. You said thank you. Did I? Yeah. See, I...

I speak Japanese. I speak many languages. I can't even say it like that because I don't want to... Jack, yeah, if you didn't... This is for a lesson, a teaching out there. You have to be careful on each aspect of when you're uploading or what your editor has to edit. It's fucking ridiculous. It's wild. He's going to be sweating. You start being like, okay, I can't do that. Okay, you can't. And then you just start going in. It's like, don't say that. You guys are trying to convince me to start a freaking...

Show earlier? Yes. This sounds exhausting. How? Jack, you have us. Yeah, that's a lot. I mean. I'm just telling you, like, as somebody that started with nobody, it would be really reassuring to have a bunch of other people that liked you. Medium successful at the YouTube space. We would help you. You could just text us.

Any time of the day, we'd respond to your questions. Sometimes they just invite you to Santa. You wouldn't have to spend eight hours on YouTube looking for some asshole to answer the question for you. Which is usually, dear God, is it... Every time, like, the problem with this is, like, I blew up on YouTube really quick. Like, I'm not fucking famous or anything, but, like, I got, like, 100,000 views in, like...

100,000 subs in like four months. You did amazing. And then I would like get on it. Like I knew nothing. I was like, fuck it. How do I do this? Is this allowed? Can I do this? Can I do that? And then I'd ask YouTube and there'd be like some instructional video and they'd be like, okay, well how credible is this guy? Oh, he's got seven subscribers. Fucking probably can't trust him. Shit. How to get rich and become YouTube famous. He has 12 subscribers. You're like, yeah, by Mr. Yeast. Yeah.

624-9872. His logo's a piece of bread. It's like, what? With some cash. You're falling in front of it. It's hard when you're going. For real, please start a YouTube channel for Unhinged History. Everyone, comment below, because I know you're there. Comment below about Jack Stardew. Your perspective on history would be...

Well, I like yours. I really do. I don't want to turn this into a DIC case-stroking contest, but I like the way you break things down. You find some really niche stuff.

I just get real pessimistic. That's my problem. I know. People would fucking love it. All right. I like Jack's. Do you know how many people just want to go home and Ryan's Reynolds themselves every day that would love to just listen to you lose your shit for eight minutes while they were driving home on a Friday night? Your hair goes more horizontal as you get pissed. Every day, they're just going to be like, fuck, my job sucks, but at least I'm not Jack. Yeah. It's just, oh, here, let's start. Why did...

Everybody realize how overrated JFK was. Go, do it. Let's go. How overrated is she? Go. JFK, the reason why he was in Dallas in the first place, because he had to campaign hard in Texas, because there was a very...

Good chance he was going to be the first Democratic president in history to lose Texas. He wasn't that popular. You know why? He fucked up the Bay of Pigs. He prolonged the freaking Cold War. His poll numbers were not looking great at the time. There was a very good chance he was going to be beaten in the next election. The only reason why we remember him the way we do, because we didn't come from that time,

He got his brains blown out. He was hot. He had a hot wife. And we just have immortalized him at this point. Bring up Marilyn Monroe. Bring up Marilyn Monroe. And JFK, look, good for him. He got a good piece of strange every day. Go ahead. I love you. Jackie O was not even that hot.

She was classy hot. She's like a six out of 10. Dude, you're never going to find a woman like that who's that classy at the same time. There's a balancing act there, man. Bro, the hot, classy matrix, very hard. Very hard to find. Especially in modern days. He was banging that hot pill head on the side. Yeah. Well, he literally, yeah,

Yeah, anyways, JFK was, like, really overrated as a president, and we, like, immortalized him, and Republicans say things like, if he was loved, he'd be a Republican. Not true. And the Democrats also, they're his centerpiece of, like, the ultimate freaking masculine freaking president. The guy was a dumb shit, had a terrible back. He was a broken little baby bitch.

I want to punch back because I fucking loved him. Punch back. Punch back. Have you heard about his military career? Yes, of course. By the way, no, his dad, his dad, okay, legitimately happened. Go ahead. No, no, he earned the medal, but that was propagated by his dad so he could get into office. That shit was propagated. They made a movie about him because his dad had connections in Hollywood.

- Do you know the story? - Yes, PT 109, he pulled a goddamn boat with his teeth. He did legitimately save a lot of lives. That was very common back then. Nobody got movies about him unless you're a goddamn Kennedy. - But do you know about the coconut?

Do you know about the coconut? Well, is it like the conch from Lord of the Flies? The fucking presidential paperweight, the official presidential paperweight for JFK was a goddamn coconut husk in acrylic. Okay? First of all, I want to tell this story, but fucking Kingfish's little shit on his chest here is throwing me off. I promise. I promise.

I called him Kingfish earlier. I was like, his name's King Trout. It doesn't matter. I promise you, unlike I do with women, I'll let you talk all the way through. Yeah, I got you both. So, seven or nine. I'm good, thank you. I did a video on PT boats. Basically, they were wooden boats during World War II. They were basically speed boats. They would haul ass, throw torpedoes at the enemy ships, and peel off super fast. PT boats were badass. We can agree there, for sure. 100%.

I'm not shitting on his military service. But this is my favorite presidential fact of all time. After he pulled the boat with his teeth and saved all his men and did this good job. Did he literally do that? Yes. Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's a thing. Yeah.

And they wound his boat. Because it wasn't a movie his dad basically produced so he could become president. I know his parents worshipped the devil and ran alcohol. His boat got rammed by a Japanese destroyer cut in half. Two of his men died. He saved the other 11. He pulled one of... It wasn't his boat. It was one of his men back to shore with his teeth. That's where he fucked up his back. While all of his men were there on this little pissant little island in the Pacific, he ended up writing a note saying,

on the fucking shell of a coconut.

and giving it to one of these indigenous people on the island that took one of their little canoes to a larger island and delivered this coconut husk to the Americans that was like a send fucking help message that ended up reaching command and they sent help and retrieved JFK and all of his men because he wrote it on a goddamn coconut like it's fucking Gilligan's Island and then he had it preserved in acrylic and it was on his desk in the Oval Office when he was president.

And the ironic thing is, another president who is a borderline hero, if not flat out hero in World War II, one of the youngest naval pilots, also a Navy man, shot down. He was the guy who killed Kennedy. H.W. Bush, everybody. Have you heard about the island? Oh, Bush. The cannibal island? No, Bush 41. Yeah. Yeah.

Cannibal Island. Do you know about the island? Is this a conspiracy theory? No, this is 100% fact. Okay, all right. George Bush Sr. joined as a naval aviator at the end of... He was the youngest. Yeah, at the end of World War II. He flew a couple of missions at the end of World War II. Got shot down. You didn't warn me. Prior to him getting shot down, one of the first missions that he ever fucking ran...

a bunch of other people got shot down and landed on this fucking Island. Like everybody in a squadron, except for him got shot down. And all of those soldiers landed on an Island that was held by the Japanese and they were captured. And they actually like this particular, I don't know if as a company or a battalion of Japanese soldiers were like particularly extreme. And they actually ended up eating Japanese.

The other pilots and George Bush senior was the only one that didn't get shot down and survived. Holy shit. All the other people in his squadron got literally fucking eaten by Japanese soldiers. And he didn't find out about this until he was like already passed his presidency. Really? Yeah. It's fucking wild. See, this is what I like about your stuff. You really dive deep. Deep dive. It's fucking crazy. Yeah.

You're a history nerd too. Yeah. Apparently. Let's go. Let's get this out. Let's fucking go. I was like, okay, now everyone's loosened up. Podcasts are weird, aren't they? At first you're like, I don't, because I can already see it in your face. I've done this with a thousand fucking guests, not a thousand. We should get our own shirt made that's called just history whore. But it is learning to speak up over others. Let's go to Barker tomorrow. I'll get this done. I walked out stone cold sober from that airplane, was not prepared. No, and that's why, I know you text, you,

You're like, hey, you asked, do they prep us? I had no fucking clue what I was walking into. I didn't think I was going to get a fucking Uber from the goddamn airport and then show up and film this fucking shit. I had to dig through my fucking Adidas backpack to get my goddamn kimono, my fucking headband, and my sunglasses out because I walked out of the fucking airport 20 minutes before I got here. What's going on?

I didn't have one goddamn second to smoke a cigarette, I smoked three at your house! We show up here, the air conditioner's getting fucking fixed, the fridge isn't plugged in, I don't know what the fuck's going on! Welcome to fucking Texas!

Fucking day The air conditioners broke a G man that is the intro right there is the intro to this show put that light at the beginning so it is Hardcore cuts into this is quite. I gotta give me fucking five beers to warm me up You can't just fucking drive me to some fucking no we're going on

We tried! What's your favorite part of history? My favorite part of history? Give me your favorite war, your favorite fact, your favorite anything. One history, please. Just one history. Pull it out of your fucking ass. We're in the Kamado. Break out the fortune.

Now it's it. Now you're like, I'm in the fucking zone. Yeah, I got fucking six beers in me. Good. See, this is what we do. And I can't smoke in here. I'm fucking shaking. Who said that? I'm fucking shaking and then you're like dead pants. This is fucking Texas. I've smoked in here. It smelled terrible for three days. Don't smoke in your house. I remember that was the only time I immediately regretted something from the podcast. It was like, John, that was a fucking great podcast. We killed it.

Did I smoke? I think I took a drag. Why does this house smell like shit now? Everything fucking stinks like cat piss and cigarettes. How old are you? I'm old enough to consent. Eli!

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You smoke, like you don't vape, you smoke fucking cigarettes. You're like a Marlboro Red, he's from Indiana. No, you know how, we all know how long cigarettes will take to kill you. You die in like your 60s. Let's be honest, like Jack over there, like you smoke, right? 25 years now. Right, how old are you?

Jack is from a generation where he was tricked. That man's a victim. You knew the consequences. You're like, fuck it. I'm doing it anyways. I was like, oh, did he serve? No. What's wrong with him? He has no stressors in life.

No stress. Everything's perfectly casual. That man had all the statistics. I wasn't in the military, so life for me, perfect for me. He had all the statistics. Your uncle never molested you. My uncle didn't touch me. It's cool.

It's cool. It's like when you're cheating on a test and you know you have to do one question wrong so the teacher doesn't think you cheated. He decided to smoke. That's what he's doing in life. I know this is wrong. He looked down at his kimono as he tied his bandana. He's like, huh, huh.

I gotta do one thing, though, so these guys think I'm cool. It started out as a prop, and here we are. Man, these fuckers taste good. It all started when they gave me Hulk cigarettes on Halloween. That Nancy Reagan was right. Yeah, the war on drugs, and drugs are winning. Just so you know. So your piece of history. I want to hear your favorite factoid. You have to have one. I know earlier you're like Hitler.

No, I'm dead. When did I say Hitler? I don't know. We were talking about heroes and you brought him up. It was weird. It was in the car. Remember, you were talking about how much you loved him? Yeah, you were talking about heroes. You started off, I'm talking about my favorite guys. Yeah, and we were like, what the fuck? I said best friend. What? Everybody, let's all raise our arms a suspicious amount. 45 degrees pointing to the northeast.

Can the bombing of Hiroshima be my favorite part of history? Can the fire bombings be my favorite part? Tokyo. Yeah, let's talk about that. What nationality is your Asian ancestry? The poor one. Filipino. Oh, okay. So, yeah. The bombing? Are you seriously? Yeah, I'm the poor one. You were half Korean this whole time. No! No!

I love that first off, you're white and you're like, the poor one, that's not Korea. It was like 50 years ago. It could be North Korea. I would definitely rather live in the Philippines than North Korea. Magically, I'm from North Korea. Yeah, my parents escaped from Korea, went to Mexico, breeded.

And he did. You're one of them Spaniard Asians. I am. Yeah. Dude, the most surprising was like 24% Native American. I was like, what the fuck? My parents lied to me. No, let's go ahead and talk about the firebombing. Your worst firebombing skill. I'm mad about how many experts on...

The ethics of nuclear bombings there are after the Oppenheimer movie came out. So go ahead and inform everybody on firebombing. No, I haven't even seen Oppenheimer. So Nuke went off. Have you seen Barbie? I have seen Barbie. Good. Barbenheimer.

I didn't know I was going to be expected to tell you the story of firebombings. Fuck. What's your favorite piece of history? When you're in your history fucking kimono and you put on your history headband, you're like, this is my favorite part. This is what I fucking live for. Go. You know it's not sunny in here, right? Yeah. This is not Philadelphia. What do you want to say? God damn it.

Go. You had to have a favorite piece of history. Now you are so confident with these six cans of beer in front of yourself, and now you're like, I don't know. We should probably get more beer. You want a shot? We're going to have to divert the conversation, do a shot, drink beer. Beer. Just grab one of the six packs of Corona. We're doing this. I love it. Is it? Oh, what the?

Jack, you want a beer? You need a drink? You good? You want an energy drink? No, I'm good. I'm having good with my little whiskey and coke here. All right. Edit this out. I haven't had anything to drink in like five days, so it's actually hitting me pretty hefty. It's true. Dang. I got you.

I got a big lighter. No, thank you, Daddy. I appreciate it. Okay. Do you need more table, man? Or ice? Bro. Jack, I'm here for you, Jack! I'm good. I put my nuts on this table. The table's fine. Yeah. Show me. What, uh...

Okay, it doesn't even need to be your favorite part of history or a factoid. I'll do this. What's like a rant that you can think of? Like something you feel strongly about that maybe is misinterpreted or... What's a meme you saw that upset you about history because you know it's wrong? I love that game, brother. What the fuck?

I got one after this. You get this. No, let him answer. I can tell you. I got you. Don't worry about it. This is how I know you guys have not done fucking podcasts for a living. Jesus fucking Christ. It's not the story. It is when you're on a podcast, does it not feel fucking weird at first? You're like, oh, I do this for a living. I'll be able to connect instantly. Once these cameras turn on, you're like,

Fuck. I don't want to speak over anyone. I don't want to do that. I'm like, what story do I tell? Is it going to be embarrassing? That's a great question. Yes. It's uncomfortable as fuck. Why? And being asked a fucking specific-ass question. Like, what's one time that you can think of right now on the spot? God damn it. This is why I run the podcast. See, that reminds me of...

I got accepted to go back to college because I'm gonna get my four-year degree in history and then I'm gonna get my master's in history. And I'm gonna tell you- They opened up that big history factory- Right now? Up north. What's that? They opened up that big history factory. You're gonna go work there? No! No, I have a very big history farm. Nick Clark! That's so- That's- That's- Dude! That's one of the funniest things I've ever- Dude!

I'm a history major, bro. Dude, Nick's checking in at his history factory. He's like, good to see you, boys. What's up? Dude's got to get a degree in history. Off the top of your head. Top 15 favorite history facts. And, bro, I just want to say, you have more to offer now being online than you ever would being in a classroom teaching. No, I know, but I have to get a history degree to do what I want to do. Why? Why?

Because I came to a super painful realization a couple months ago, so I just have to do it. History is written by the... Winners. Yeah, that's a fucking lie.

History is written by the punk ass fucking bitches that never even played the game. And I mean, now in every every fucking conflict since the European theater ended in World War Two, everything has been viewed through a lens of anti America. And it's fucking disgusting. And I have to go get a master's or a doctorate in history so I can start rewriting textbooks to fucking change it.

You're part of a conspiracy at this point. If it's just me and myself, then sure. Okay. Oh, God. I'm so sorry. It's common knowledge that America lost the Korean War, right?

Well, I think the technical thing is it was a stalemate. Hold on, guys. Wait, hold on. See what happened? Do you see what happened? I look at it as a long-term victory. No fucking check. We were on a road. Then we were making fun of him because he couldn't tell a story. Yeah. He had the best zinger of the night. He's good. I know. He had a very good zinger. And now we're going to... Now he's like, okay, I can do what I want. I can be more comfortable in this situation. And now he is going to tell one of his top five...

Top five favorite pieces of history in the war. Just the war.

The war. Yeah, the war. Any war. Let's start with this. What's your... Wait, wait, no. Oh, go. What's your deepest wealth of knowledge on a historical topic? Is it World War II? Is it the Revolutionary War? Is it ancient Japan? I don't even like war. What's your favorite period or point of history? It's all about peace, dude. What's your favorite peace period? A peace period? Probably World War II. Oh, America? There's been like what? Like 18 years of peace? American history. Fucking like 300 years? No, just fucking American history in general. Oh, good. Okay, me too. Specific to war. Hell yeah.

And then World War II fucking rocks. World War II is your favorite piece of American history. Yeah. What other? Presidential history? The entirety. Oh, you're just like fucking from start to end. USA, baby. Pro-America. Anti-communist. You know who's pretty much like created the American military, the American army specifically as we know it? Oh, fuck. Friedrich von Steuben. He is the father of the American army. Okay? He went to Valley Fair, right? Yeah.

There's going to be like a fraction of the people listening to this that are going to get that reference. You have to be knowledgeable about revolutionary history and be from North Iowa. Getting so fucking specific. There's going to be seven people in the comment section like, that was genius, bro. Bro, you know, there's five comments. We're like, ha, ha, ha, ha, hour 40 minutes. Fucking dope. You're like, what? Yeah, yeah. Hey.

I'm a history major from Minnesota. That was hilarious. Yeah. Lost my train of thought on that. You were talking about what your military thing did. Yeah, your homeboy. He just deep-throated that real quick. Frederick Von whatever. Oh, fuck. Friedrich Von Steuben. You know about him? Let me tell you something about Friedrich Von Steuben, Daddy.

Friedrich von Steuben was the father of the American Army as we know it. He literally, he basically wrote the book that all the other chapters got started getting written on. Okay? And Friedrich von Steuben, he came over from Prussia. He was a Prussian military officer. And he said, them Americans ain't looking good right now. And he went up to that General Washington. He said, General Washington. What?

You look like you boys could need some help. And he found them at Valley Fair there. At Valley Fair. It was all snowy because it gets snowy around Valley Fair. And he's like, I'm going to teach your boys how to march. I'm going to teach them drills. I'm going to teach them all the ranks and the standards. And he turned that little ragtag group, a little blue wearing boys, he turned them into a real military. And guess what they did? What'd they do? They beat them little red wearing boys. All because that Frederick Bond stupid. And the president...

the general at the time who eventually became president realized that this man is the father of the army we're gonna give you some land out in new york you come here you stay in america friedrich von stubin another thing about him is he was very openly gay it's well documented he was gay as he brought all his gay lovers with him he was gay in front of everybody no gave a dude no one gave a so all this talk nowadays about the the woke military the gays the woke milk the gays in the military

The United States Army was started by a well-documented father of the military. Back in the day, the way they would talk about being gay, too, they'd be like, every time you read something like this. They didn't care back then like we did now. They'd be like, okay.

He hung out with this guy all the time. They lived together, you know, they lived together and they slept in the same bed. You know, that's where the comment came from. The kind of homophobia we've seen in the last hundred years. It wasn't like that back in the day. They knew gay people existed and they're like, okay, that's weird, but sure. You got guns that you can send us. Great. Yeah. This is how I suck. Start to my 12. Yeah.

Why did the German accent come out of left field? It's Prussian. Prussian, yeah. Not Russian Prussian. They're Germans. Yeah, see? See, fucking checking my history, bro. Bro, I know my green color. I was right. Okay, favorite piece of history. Yeah, go. Jesus fucking Christ. Do you think we're going to drop it? You had fucking 30 minutes. I've been actively thinking about other things. Okay.

I know hot dudes are next to you. Let's move. Pick a piece of Japanese culture or American culture. You're wearing a kimono and American flag head. He just holds it in. He's like, so the kimono, a comment from the ancient Japanese culture. The first thing that came to mind was something you've already made a video about, and it was the fucking bat bombs. Yeah, go ahead. Oh, that was a good piece of history. I'm going to correct you the whole time. Go ahead.

time. Yeah, I know. That's why I'm nervous. No, just fucking. You made the fucking video about it. So, yeah. If it's your favorite piece, you have to understand. A lot of us aren't going to watch every piece of his content. I'm a terrible friend. I've watched like five of his videos. That's it. Eli's a fucking piece of shit. Yeah, 100%. I know this and I own it. It doesn't affect me at all.

You paid for our sushi tonight. I think you're great, Daddy. See? That's all you got to do. Buy your friend sushi, and they're good. They're really good sushi. Yeah.

That's fair. They're like, hey, you paid for our travel and shit. We're good. He flew us down. Whatever. Although he said, I was sitting right next to the shitters and some guy took a shit and I was right next to him. That means you were in the back of the plane, right? Dude, I was in the fucking midsection wing. One seat in front. I couldn't lean back. You were on a big boy plane. I didn't want to fucking brag.

So like I bitched about Sun Country a couple podcasts ago when Eli fucked me. I didn't know. Bro, he started in the headquarter out of Minneapolis, Minnesota. He put me in a flight that didn't even have fucking Wi-Fi. Okay. This is basically Amish flight. Okay. Eli did not know this. But here's the deal. The horses had wings. Joe, you hovering the lovely lady that

operates some of the scheduling. Oh, show is amazing. She really is. And I'm going to tell you why, because I don't even think you know this. And if she puts you in nicer seating, bro, I know she scheduled me and I was like, Hey, I'm fat. Every single time I come down here, I just get on my, you know, I always fly Delta. I get on the Delta app and I just paid 1999 and I upgrade my seating to comfort plus because it's way better. Do you have status?

No, not yet. I don't play that much yet, but I hope maybe one day. Get on it because once you get status, you'll never have to worry about paying again. You'll just automatically get upgraded. That'd be awesome. So I always try to spend the $20, get Comfort Plus right away. You flew down here? Yeah.

We got him for some carriage. Bro, I took a fucking covered wagon. Dude, I hopped fucking trains. It took me so fucking long. His family died. It was a work in trouble. I always just get on the app and pay the extra 20 bucks and get the Comfort Plus or whatever, but sometimes it's sold out, so I don't get it, and then I'm stuck. I'm kind of fat. I don't really like it. I'm always in the middle. 100% of the time. I've flown 30 times now. I've never flown sitting next to somebody smaller than me.

It's always me and two offensive linemen from the fucking St. Louis Rams. Every goddamn time. So I always get comfort plus, and I just told Sho, like, hey, fucking grab me the comfort plus seats out of the gate so that way I'm sure to get them. She fucking got me first class seats for the first time in my life. It was super cool. It was awesome, yeah. Yeah. Hey, Sho!

Yeah. Does he look like first class? If I don't get first class from now on, I'm not coming. I have a more important question. When was the last time you watched NFL football? Because the St. Louis Rams haven't been there in like four years. I've been a Rams fan my entire life. It's fucking St. Louis. I know it was L.A. before it was St. Louis. You didn't grow up a Chiefs fan or a Vikings fan? No. Or a Bears fan? I was born in California.

My family's from California. I moved there. Where? I was born in Chico. Okay. My family's from like mid to northern California and I moved to Iowa when I was like 13 years old. Oh, you're more California. Well, I mean, you've been there for a long, but like as far as like your formative years, you're more Californian. For sure. That's why I love Iowa so much. That's why you're smarter than. Because I'm like fully capable of understanding what a fucking shithole California is. Yeah.

Yeah. Amen. But you also get to be smarter than a lot of the Iowans. Yep. That also happened. It was really frustrating because like I showed up at middle school and I was wearing like, you know, like Doc Martin boots and everybody's like, who's this fucking nerd wearing geek shit? And then like seven. You had Doc Martins in high school?

I had Doc Martens in middle school, homie. Wow, we grew up separate lifestyles. Wealthy parents. Yeah, you're old as fuck. No, not that. You're like Gray Bush the Wise. Fucking what he said. Fucking wealthy lifestyle. Ooh, what's it like to be upper middle class? I'm definitely not upper middle class, bro. You're fucking middle class. That would have been nice. Bro, neither of my parents have a high school diploma. You had? Neither did he. I had, I had, oh.

pair of Doc Martens, okay? Doc Martens is what I got to... Just one. Doc Martens is what I got to go... I got to wear for gym class. What I got to wear when we went to the beach. It's what I got to wear when we went fucking everywhere. No, no, no, no, no. I got one nice pair of shoes and that was fucking it. No, no, no, no. You get a... This is what you sound like. Okay, first off...

Let's go, Eli. Law school in Harvard was not that good. Hold on, Jack. Shut the fuck up. Let me talk about Harvard. It's a downgrade from a lot of universities. Okay. Fucking these shoes? Ugh.

Look, one pair. I had Spalding's. Do you know where those are from? Walmart. Do you know how much they cost? $10. Do you know how long that took my parents to pay off a layaway? Fucking years. My parents only had one Porsche. I know. Dude, Indiana boys. What's up, dude? Hell yeah. Oh, fucking dockers over here. I watched commercials about this and got depressed of what white people could do. I was like, man, Spalding never had a commercial. Ever.

Doc Martin had commercials? Yes! Doc D-O-C-N. He's a doctor. Dr. Martin had commercials. The medical Nazi.

I'm not going to doubt him at this point. No, dead serious. Did you know Doc Martin was a Nazi? Yes. Yeah, that's why neo-Nazi skinheads always wear Doc Martins. Because Doc Martin was a fucking... I don't like that one bit. No, no. Jake's like... Jake? I just want to make it clear, I've never wore Yeezys or any of that bullshit. Just Doc Martin. Yeah.

Only Doc Martens. Well, now that I know who Doc Martin was, I'll never wear his product again, even though I've never worn it in 20 years. Same. I couldn't afford him. Also, also, yeah. Also, but if we are going to go there, like nobody can like buy BMW or Mercedes or a lot of, a lot of, lots of VW. Oh, fun fact about the VW Beetle. So I like went off a fucking deep end with the VW Beetle. Um,

Let's shut down the German economy, boys. They were originally started as like this fucking... It was going to be the solution to the German economy during World War II, right? Was it the final solution to the German economy? Not that one. It was the solution before the final solution. Yeah, right. Yeah, that. So they were like...

They never ended up giving everybody that paid all their money in to them. All the high-ranking political people got their VW Bugs and everything. But if you look at the original VW Volkswagen Beetles, they had a suspension system totally unjustifiable by their weight. I didn't know this. Historians are like,

The only logical reason that the suspension system on the original Volkswagen Beetles are that fucking sturdy is because they had plans to cut the roofs out and mount crew-served machine guns on top. And that is like 100% what went down. Like, all the original Beetles that were manufactured were designed to cut the fucking roof off and mount a fucking MG42 on. Can you imagine? Yeah.

It's fucking crazy. That sounds like a Richard Bryan job. Give him some love, bud. So there's the Avengers. We are the offenders. Our superpowers, they differ. So you get to choose your own superpower. We get to choose the offset. So me, I have two different superpowers. One is...

Well, my main superpowers, I run at the speed of... I'm Flash. Fucking Mexican. I'm the brown Flash. The brown streak is what they call me. Wait, hold on. Stop. The brown streak? Are you still the brown streak? Because I thought we made you... Oh, I'm still... I thought we made you crime crook. Crime cuck for a minute. So, I still go... Man, it's so hard because crime cuck is my...

Is that a parallel universe? No, no. That's my offset because I think it is the most fantastic offset. So imagine this. I show up as the flesh. Okay. Someone is something bad's happening. Got it. Bad things.

I don't even know. Murder. Ryan Reynolds-ing. I have a five-minute cool-down where I can't interrupt. You're just hanging out watching. He can't touch anything. After he leaves super speed mode. He's going to be a great witness. Yeah. Crime cuck. Fucking so good. We have Batty. Batty. Strong as shit. Batty fucking...

I thought we made him drywall Magneto. No, not him. He's not. No. Who did we make drywall Magneto? Because his name. Wait, go on on this. Now I'm actually confused. There's been... What's Batty's name? Batty. Kyle. Kyle.

Oh my God. Yeah, we made him drywall Magneto. Like he's Magneto, but only for drywall because Kyle's only punched drywall. So like he's Magneto, but for drywall. But he has to drink Mountain Dew and commit domestic violence in order to activate his superpower. His original superpower was just...

Super strength. He just came every time he activated. Both of those sound so good. Yeah, until you save a bus full of kids. Cody could fly, but only while he was yelling racial slurs. So Donut. All three of these superpowers sound great. Right. So you pick your superpower. We pick the offset. Okay. I love Donut. Imagine this. Donut walking up. He's like, fuck, there's Mexicans burning up in that building. He just walks up with a ladder. He's like.

awkwardly places it. He's like, fuck, it's too short. He's like, they're just like, fly up to me. He's like, mm, mm-mm, mm-mm. I'm going to figure out how to get this ladder up there. Because you're always trying to offset. You're like, uh-uh, I'm flying to death. I was post-nut clarity man, right? Yes. What was your offset? I had the powers of Professor Xavier, but only for like a minute after I come. Oh, man.

Oh, was that it? I have to re-jerk off or come to get 30 more seconds of Professor Xavier power. Who was the person I gave? They could read minds, but...

The wife could also read their mind? That was Leon Lush. Leon Lush. So he could read all minds, but his wife or spouse at any given time that he was involved with could read his mind at any given time. Oh, that one sucks. Yeah, so go on. What's your superpower? Jack, I think we have to give you one too. Yeah. Oh, I love this. What's your power? I'm going to go with teleportation. Demo has that.

You know dude. Oh, yeah, so demo has that already has to kill a kitten in order to teleport. Oh, no big deal He's a veterinarian He has a bag of kittens how we said Killing kittens for a living. Yeah, but imagine this shit those kids are on fire you teleport your kids. Hold on Yeah, and then when you get lazy if like I gotta go pee and

You stop caring about the kittens. You're like, I'm too bad. Has invisibility been taken? Invisibility. Rich had invisibility, but he had to masturbate so you would hear the sound. Anytime he was invisible. Dude, I'm a quiet masturbator. I'm a dry guy. Are you guys white guys? I'm not. You lotion up? You lube up? I do the...

Yeah. Moisturize? Understood. Wait, for jerking off? Yeah. Oh, no. I'm a dry guy. I've never met a man that moisturized to jerk off. It's like a meme. It's a fucking weird. The fucking brand name is called jerking. It makes your dick stronger. Wait, do you guys put lotion on when you jerk off? I don't. Picking superpower. Sorry. Go. This is what I was worried about. We'll tell you the...

We'll tell you if it's been taken or not. Would you like to have some time to think? No, I'm thinking just Nightcrawler. Can I just be Nightcrawler from X-Men? Like with the tail and the teleport? I just want to be blue and have teleportation power. Oh, that's the same thing. Fuck. Go ahead, Jack. But think. Don't look at Jack. Think. Go ahead, Jack. I'd like to bring my brother back to life.

I need a superpower. Can you bring all dead people back to life? Okay, Darth Vader. I just want to bring my brother back to life. That's selfish as fuck, Jack. First off, that's your fucking offset. All people are like, I got to bring Hitler back to life? I don't know. Maybe if that's what you want, you selfish piece of shit. Why would you just target that one and not help humankind? I'd just like to have one last conversation with him. That's it. You want to do it for five seconds and that's it. No, not five seconds. Five minutes. Five minutes. Yeah.

And then re-experience death. Jack, you already have your offset. Depression. That is your offset to the superpower. Did I break the system yet? No. Did I break the system? Jack's like, I just want more talk so I can cry.

I want to relive this moment. Let me slide this in. Okay. I was in heaven. What the fuck, Jack? All right. Okay. Real superpower. If I can't have like a magical power like that, I'd like to, you know what? I'd like to, I'd like to transport into time. Okay. I'd like to go back to transport. Yeah. Transporting. You have no control over where you time travel. Go.

Oh. That's your fucking offset. You go back in time. But I have no control. You always land in the period of time you are stuck in. You get... No, stop. But you go like quantum leap. You get to pick the exact time that you land in. You do not get to pick your gender or ethnicity, though. Oh. Oh, my God.

I like that. Yeah. So I'm not going to the antebellum south. Yeah. I wouldn't go anywhere after 2000, to be honest with you. Yeah. Jack's like, I'm going back. Wait. Before 2000. He's about to push that button. It's like, the sweat breaks out. He's like,

This could go in many different ways. I could get Bitcoin or I could die. You get to pick the date. That's it. You don't get to pick the location you spawn, your gender, or your ethnicity when you get there. I would welcome the challenge. I picture this. Good fucking luck. I picture this on camera. We got a good angle. Ready? Jack has a button. It's right here. He's like this. Okay, let's see. Okay, going back.

That's all it's going to be is a blink of his skin color. Nope. Or yes, maybe. That's all it's going to be, Jack. Or are you going to roll the dice? Like, we're fine with this. Okay. I'm in. Oh, man. So you get to pick the year? I just pick the year, I guess. Yeah. No, you don't. Yeah. You get to pick the year. But like. That's it. You're restricting yourself because you're our.

You're really spinning the wheel. Yeah, I'm going to stand out in certain places in certain time frames. Most places in most times. But what if I end up at a Jimmy Buffett concert in 1979? I'm going to fit right in. Rest in peace. Jeff, so that's your one goal is to hit that and quit time traveling? He's like, I fucking made it. It's like 1969. I hope it's what's up. This is where I live.

This is where I belong, brother. He just lives out his life. He retires. He dies. Yeah, I'd already be retired by this year right now. All right, so we got Jax. King Trout, what do you got? Fuck. Superpower. Good offset. Oh, my God. I'm going to do...

The ability to fly. Has that been done? Cody. He's got to yell racial slurs. Yeah. What other superpowers are there? There's a lot. Think about fucking any show. I've only named like four so far. Yeah. You did time travel. We've got... Good. You narrowed down two. Yeah. I've listed two of the ones that have been restricted. Shit. Shape shifting? Has that one been done?

I don't think that has been done. I can change into anybody who I want. You know, fucking the blue chick from X-Men. Oh, that's a good one. That's a really good one. That's a solid power. It's always the opposite sex. Hold on. I thought you said it was a negative. Any situation you shape shift into, as soon as you come into the complete body, you immediately have diarrhea. That's what I was thinking as well. No, what's the offset? Oh, man.

No, if he shapeshifted in the opposite and was just extremely horny. No. Why? I lived like that from the age of 12 to freaking 35. Yeah. If he shapeshifts into a girl, because he keeps all the memories from it. So I'm me in a woman's body. Yeah, but you're horny. Yeah. You don't know it. But am I horny in like a woman's perspective? No, you want dick. Yeah. So yes, I am.

So I want dick. Yeah, you're like, this is what I'm fucking... But you remember it, and then after you go to Mel's perspective, you're like, oh, I gotta remember it? Yeah. No. See, that's how you make it off. I have to remember it? Yes. I don't like shapeshifting anymore. It's like always the first line of business. You have the most amazing shapeshifting power. Sometimes it's Mel, sometimes it's a female. It's always horny, though.

Sometimes you just... No, fuck that. Okay, go on. You get to shapeshift. Okay. But whatever you shapeshift into, the genitalia is the exact opposite of what it should be.

Fuck off. I already got it. If you shapeshift into the hottest woman on the planet, you have a foot-long dick. Oh, have you ever been in Thailand, bro? Dude, Fudanari shit. Hell yeah. No, nope, nope. We're going to erase that. We're going to fucking do that. Your power stands. You get to morph into whatever you fucking want every other time. You are the most... Whoever you want, you can shapeshift into that. Every shapeshift in between...

Is a sex object that you don't get any say in. I don't like it. So you're saying every other one, like every other one. Yeah, you'd be like, I want to be a present. Yes. To some random, random. It is a 24 hour cycle. I've seen some people at Walmart I would not want to be the butt plug of. Just imagine that. You're like, I'm going to be the president tomorrow. But today I am.

Steve's butt. And you're sitting on that fucking countertop hoping you don't get used to that. Can I voluntarily change back? No, you are stuck for 24 hours each. You get a great opportunity and a terrible opportunity. I like that. I'll take that. You're literally going from heaven to hell, heaven to hell, heaven to hell. That's every day of my life. And Steve, and you're like...

I guess I just live in Steve's ass. For 24 hours. You're like, Steve, don't use me. You don't know. It's the unknown if Steve or whoever is using you for that day. It could be Catherine. You're like, Catherine, fucking, you're horny today. Dude. You can't say anything because you're a purple dildo every time it cuts to you. Catherine's top drawer. It's inside thoughts. Put that chance. It's a random person.

But then you get your dream job. Sometimes you get to be Huckleberry. Sometimes you got to be Jim. Go on about Jim. Well, his name was Jim Conklin, which is the initials JC, which is actually an acronym for Jesus Christ because he was the Jesus Christ character in the novel Huckleberry Finn.

This is obviously apparent in the cheese crack I gotta fucking piss and smoke a cigarette. No, I don't smoke us. Hey Eli You want to just be on the show together? I got a pee-pee's real quick. Wait, we have you're leaving me alone. Give me three seconds. There's back to bathrooms Are you still recording? Yeah. Hi, okay

My name is Jack Manneville. It looks like the boys have left me to carry the show for the time being, and that's okay. I am a confident, I am a confident 52-year-old man, and I've been in the entertainment business for years now. I'd like to go into detail about something I feel very strongly about, okay? And that's cat puke. We gotta stop cats from puking. I've been staying at my buddy's house for a couple weeks now, and his cat's

They puke everywhere. And cat puke is the worst kind of puke. So how do we solve this endemic? Well, we've created a 501c3 profit to stop cat puke. And the cats, once we get the money, the cats will stop puking. So please...

Hit me up at jack.manneville at gmail.com, and we can stop the cats from puking, all cats around the world. That's j-a-c-k dot m-a-n-d-a-v-i-l-l-e at g-m-a-i-l dot com, and we will stop the cat puke problem in the world.

That's right. Check out gemmanneville.com and stop the cat puke problem of the world today. Aggressive piss I've ever taken in my entire life. Yeah, was it like a 9-11 piss? I don't know what that means, but maybe. It's either 9-11 like the gas station.

That's... Jesus. No, Muhammad Atta on September 11th, 2001, he boarded Flight 11 in Logan Airport in Boston. He hijacked a plane and flew it into the first World Trade Center, one of two that would be hit that day. Also, the Pentagon and...

A poor field in Pennsylvania where many souls lost their... What are we doing? Just listen. You, Jack. Anyways, what's your favorite point in history to learn about? Oh, yeah, Jack. You're a history guy. Let's go. Well, so I'm one of those people that I get...

I don't know if you're like me. I get super obsessed on certain subjects for periods of time. And then, you know, I generally carry that information with me. So I'll go like hard into certain things and just move on to the next. You have these random patches of knowledge that are like a mile deep and then like nothing on the rest of the area. Yeah, I'm exactly. Yeah, I don't specialize. So I know a little about a lot type of deal. Yeah. If I had to say anything, and it's something I'm not an expert on,

I'd only defer to the thing that literally got me interested in history, and I'll tell you why if you're interested. But the American Civil War.

Yeah. Love it. It is the first thing that actually took me into my love and understanding of history. But the reason is, in my family, we had every single day journals from my great-great-grandfather, who was in the Army of the Potomac from day one until the end. We had his journaling from every day, all the battles, every day of camp life, muster rolls, pictures, thousands of correspondence. Wait, hold on. From when?

1861 to 1865. And this is all documented? It's... It was... I grew up just reading it as a child. Like... Brother, that's... Yeah. That's fucking awesome. It was awesome. Yeah, that's awesome. And that... And it's like... I was like... It sounds weird, but as a child, I was getting to live vicariously through this man. But it really set the course of why I... So this is why...

If you look at kind of like comedy I've done historically, when people chime in about what it means to be a soldier and all that, and they try to romanticize the past, what he wrote about in his diaries in the Civil War, the shit that those guys said, did, and went through is the exact same shit that's happening now. It's always been that way.

It's the exact same shit that fucking the Romans were going through. Everyone throughout time would write stories. Soldier life has never fucking changed at all. So when I see these fucking weird Tommy Tuberville types who like romanticize the military and they have this weird idea of what the people who serve look like, they're dead wrong. They don't understand the type of people that are in this world and like

They only serve to politicize them. Like, soldiering life has never changed, ever. The only difference in this is from a historical background. Yes, there's more tattoos now. Well, yeah, that too. 100%. It is with, I just like this piece of history, studying from the old to the new, because PTSD wasn't as, it happened in the past. It was real. Oh, 100%.

The cool-down period from transition from war to civilian life was extremely different. So that's one thing. They had to rush back into life. Yes. They had a cool-down period of this march home. And that march home wasn't like, hey, we get to fly back in 24 hours and then we're back with the civilian community interacting. You had this.

Three-month cycle, six-month cycle where you are walking back from the war from that with your brothers in arms that usually were villagers. You know it's over. Yes, and they were villagers. They were civilians all around you or if that city you lived in and you had this three- to six-month cool-down period where you're talking to your buddies, you're decompressing, you're getting back to, okay, this is normalcy.

And that is why they seen a lower period. And of course, records didn't happen, but is one thing that I've read on and studied about PTSD in the past versus PTSD now, which is really interesting to me. I love psychology. I love watching movies.

how the human brain interacts. Well, if you get into it like cameras, you might as well be fucking... I do. Sigmund Freud over there. Study human conditioning. With that, though... That's a gross amount, and I hate it. If you want to talk about something that gets really weird, if you actually look at World War II...

The difference in opinion and the inability to relate to fellow combat veterans post-World War II between guys that served in the European theater and guys that served in the Pacific was a huge fucking thing that nobody talks about because they fought...

Two different wars. Completely different wars in every way imaginable. Who gets shit on the most? They don't really get shit on. European guy just got more pop culture attention. 100%. You look at Band of Brothers versus... They get way more pop culture. They get seen as like...

like generically speaking, they're always seen as the good guys. Whereas like a lot of people have a bad taste about the Pacific because they have a, an opinion about like how it ended with the atomic bomb. So there's that, but there's also new story. Uh, Japanese did probably more horrific shit than the Nazis did. There's no, there's no, not probably. It was a hundred percent. The Japanese did like, again,

I think it's lazy to compare who is worse, the Nazis or the Japanese. Both did terrible things. We don't really talk about as much of... The reason why we don't talk about as much... We don't talk about Japanese atrocities as much as we do Nazi atrocities is because...

it's still to this day, but still to this day, but especially back then America was very Eurocentric, very Eurocentric. They only really gave a fuck about what's happening in Europe because the majority of Americans fucking, they were white and they came from that fucking bloodline. Well, the fact is like what the Japanese were doing, what they did in Nanking, what was that? 300,000 people in like a month. Oh,

Oh, yeah. The ship that came out of China during that point in time. I read journal entries of actual Japanese officers. Hi, everyone. G-Van here. Unfortunately, I got to take this part out. I don't think it's YouTube appropriate, and I really wanted to get this episode up as soon as possible, considering it was already late. So I apologize. Don't forget to tell your buddies they have a nice cock, and I hope you guys enjoy this episode.

Do you know, and this is a question for you, do you know why a lot of the Japanese didn't get tried during this? Because they were dead. No, no. Even then, the top commanders weren't. Do you know why they didn't have war crimes or anything pressed against them? Go ahead.

Because of Nanking. So as long as we traded, the American populace, American government traded... American government just wanted their research during that time period. Because it was... Operation Paperclip, baby. You're talking more about like Operation... You're talking more about like Unit 731 type shit. Yeah. And they were like, if you give us that, we will not try you people. There was a...

that's not the Japanese military as a whole. Like there was a, there was a Japanese military unit called a unit seven 31 and they conducted the horrific, the probably the worst human rights violations ever on people like doing surgeries without anesthesia, just to see what happens. Amputating limbs to see what happens. Like most people, if you're at home, like,

What percent of the human body is water? You're going to say something like 70, 75%. Like, you know why you know that? Yep. Because unit 731 took people, weighed them, and then stuck them in convection ovens until they were human beef jerky and then re-weighed them. And they're like, oh, that's...

You're 70% water because all the water evaporated out of you and your human beef jerky now. Every time I say that Imperial Superior, people are like, oh, yeah, well, fucking Operation Paperclip, you guys had Germans working at NASA. Yeah, we had. So did the Soviets. We had. First of all, so did the Soviets. So that fucking cancels out because math. Secondly, we had 140 Germans working for NASA. And at the peak of the Apollo missions, NASA had 400.

100,000 fucking employees. That's like 0.0018%. Fuck off. The only one that's notable out of all of them is Braun. Yeah. Werner Von Braun. Yeah. Yeah. Get fucked. So this is, like for me, this is the stuff that I love learning about because it is Nanking. It is absolutely.

people functioned as society and what a majority of people don't understand. It's like everyone takes away from World War II. Nazis are bad. We drop nukes. This is why I'm going back to college. Do you know why I love Kurt Vonnegut? You know why I got Vonnegut here on my leg? I got a couple Vonneguts, yeah.

I read Vonnegut on the way down. Because Vonnegut was a guy who literally was an... Indie man. He was an American patriot, but he witnessed the Dresden bombings. What he did in his literature, but he was able to fucking humanize...

at that point when those novels were coming out in the 50s and 60s, he was able to humanize and dissect the complexities of that conflict, right? And that's what I think a lot of modern day people should really do. There is no such thing of pure evil versus pure good. It doesn't exist. American war crimes in World War II, by the way,

The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, American soldiers have been fucking saints. Saints in the way they deal with fucking civilian populations. American GI, your fucking sweet grandpa that you love so much, your sweet grandpa, if he wasn't involved with it, he witnessed one of his fucking dudes.

Fucking explain to me how America lost the Korean War. Because it's a common saying in the American education. I don't think that America lost the Korean War. I know that you don't think that. It was a good thing in the long run. It's because you're not a fucking moron. Thank you. But the general consensus is America hasn't won a war since World War II. America fought in Korea. What was our goal going into Korea? First of all, it wasn't America action by itself. It was United Nations action, including 17 other countries besides America.

What was the goal? We're the police of the world. It was preventing North Korea from taking over South Korea. Which we did. Guess what we have today?

South Korea. That sounds like a fucking success to me. They got same song next to the Japanese. My dishwasher plays a 35 second long song every time the dishes are clean because we fought in the Korean War. So if America entered the Korean War under the fucking pretense of we're trying to save South Korea and South Korea exists today, how the fuck is that a loss? Explain that to me. That makes zero fucking sense. No, I agree. And then people...

say, oh, well, America lost Vietnam. Interesting. Give me, let me ask you this, seriously, like legitimately, as somebody whose opinion that I value because I legitimately think that you're an intelligent person, what is the criteria that you can point to to say whether a war is won or lost?

Go ahead. No, you... Oh, I was just going to ask, like, is it the amount of people, like, is it whoever kills the most of the other side? Is it whoever... Like, what is the criteria where you can point to it and be like, this is the line where you determine winner and loser as far as war goes? No, it's the long-term... It's the long-term benefits of both the victor and the loser.

So, for example... No, no, go ahead. For example... Iraq, not a good example. Japan, very good example. No, no, not right now. But that'll be a factor. It's like Japan and Germany are... Recovery. Extremely recovered, healthy, great countries. And allies of ours. Allies of ours. Okay, so I'll... Did I miss the question? No.

Little bit I like your answer, but it's it's deeper than I wanted If you're looking if you're looking at war like it's a boxing match Yeah, and at the end of the day you have to call a winner and a loser when the war ends What is the great you're referring to Vietnam? Sure or any war like what is it? Like how did we decide who won World War two in Germany? They quit they surrendered. Yeah, how did we decide who won World War two as far as the Pacific theater? I

They surrendered. Okay, so they were forced to sign a peace treaty that was not beneficial to them overall. But there's a level of... The Japanese had a level of... I don't want to use the word civility, but they were on the same page as the rest of the world when it comes to that's how we operate. So they were forced to sign a document stating, okay, we were wrong. This is how we're going to operate. And by the way, they've held up to it. And they have, and that's great. And Japanese is a huge...

tremendous fucking ally. Shout out to our fucking. And they've like formed the whole world that we're in today. And I love it. But here's my question. Anime for life. Shohei Otani, the best ball player in the world. So we've already addressed the Korean War and how South Korea exists. So I'm going to go ahead and call America and the UN in general the victor in the Korean War. The correct choice. Okay. Here's my issue with Vietnam. I agree with that. Okay.

Okay, thank you. High five. Okay, here's my issue with Vietnam. In 1972, America launched Operation Linebacker 2. The 13 days before Christmas in 1972, America sent B-52s all day, every day to bomb the North Vietnamese. They had a 36-hour ceasefire over Christmas.

After that, they sent a transmission to the North Vietnamese and said, are you fuckers ready to quit yet? They said no. The next day, America sent 60 B-52s all at the same time to the North Vietnam. That's called a Hail Mary right there. And bombed the shit out of them. The Hail Mary. By the time that 60th B-52 had dropped its payload and returned back to base, they'd received a transmission from the North Vietnamese that they were willing to enter peace talks.

They then went to Paris and agreed and signed the Paris Accords, which was a peace treaty that did not benefit them. That peace treaty said that they were going to leave Laos. They were going to leave Cambodia and that North and South Vietnam would reach a peaceful, amicable solution amongst themselves without American influence. And then America left because that was part of the peace treaty.

That was in 1972 slash January of 1973. 1975, North Vietnam invaded the South Vietnamese capital. Which we flew out of. And beat South Vietnamese. After America had been gone for almost three fucking years. Americans were there when that happened. They had to fucking evacuate Saigon and everything like that. But was it how we treated Afghanistan? Ish. Yeah, Americans were still there, though.

Yeah. In 1975? They had to evacuate Saigon. Yes, just like we evacuated Afghanistan. So that's what now, because Jack, I'm in your position where I have no fucking clue on this shit. Now I'm actually like, wait, you had that in place. You forced the enemy to sign an amicable peace treaty that did not benefit them.

And then you're still going to be like, well, America fucking lost. Fuck you guys. That's a win though. But is it a lot? That's actually, that's my issue. That's a good question. I don't see Vietnam as a win. No, but what he's asking, Hey, we forced, I'm not saying, but like if you're viewing it through the lens of like a boxing match and you have to call a winner at the end of the day, one side forced the other side to foreign force, sign a peace treaty that did not benefit them. So here I'll, I'll break it down like this. And then three years later,

No shit went sideways. Imagine this here. Boxing matches the best way to do this. You go into a boxing match. Round six happens and the opponent, he signs the thing. He's like, you win. So if I can KO victory, boom. Three years later, that dude shows up and you're like, hey, man, I haven't seen you in a long time. He punches you in the face and knocks you out. Is that victory on him or is it on the original agreement? Yeah.

One's a sanctioned boxing match, Eli, and the other is a sucker punch. You mean war? You mean war? Because we have a Geneva Convention. But that's my overall... That's my point. The Vietnamese gave a fuck. The NBA gave a fuck about the Geneva Convention. That's my overall... Did you see what... Did you see what they did to the French? That's my overall...

My overall issue, though, with history after the European theater of World War II, because every fucking historian that gets to decide what history is in fucking American textbooks and in textbooks in the world gets to view it. Guess who was the college students becoming historians during Vietnam? All the people that didn't go and fight the war. No, but I'm going to tell you something. This, I don't give a fuck who won or lost Vietnam. That's inconsequential to me. It doesn't.

To me, more of the problem is like, why did we enter? And that's the problem there. The Gulf of Tonk and stuff and all that. So here's my point with that. Oh, my God. I hate that I don't know why we started the career. I don't care about the context.

I do. I do. Don't get me wrong. I do to an extent. I don't give a fuck about the winner. I'm like, should it have happened in the first place? That's not true, though. No, I want to get to the root. If you're a principal at a school and two kids get in a fist fight and one kid beats the fucking shit out of the other kid, it doesn't matter.

One kid beats the fucking shit out of the other kid, right? Vietnam. He wasn't gay, right? Jesus Christ. Why are you so straight? If one kid gets his ass beat and then the other kid is like, I got my ass beat. And then you're like, well, the fight should have never took place. So nobody's the winner.

That doesn't make sense. No, no, no. Nick, you're looking like, oh, fucking sorry. Go ahead. No, Eli. Jack, as someone who ran child fighting rings for years. Okay, Eli, go ahead. I just had to flex my resume. I'm kidding.

I've been betting for fucking years I never saw you one time at the child fighting ring. Okay, go ahead. That's how it's still in business. I can't. I'm like, this is like a fight with your spouse. And you're like, no, no, it doesn't matter how the fight started. How did it end? You fucking lost, bitch. I was right. Those kids should have been at school. No, I want to hear what he said. God damn it. Go ahead, please. Is this your beer? What's the deal with these beers? Go ahead. You have it. Is there more beer? Can I have more beer? We have so many more beers. Go ahead, please.

Fight about Vietnam. Go. No, this is... Oh, it's so good because now you guys are on a point where you're like, who is the winner? How does it start? So I want to highlight why I have this opinion. It's not because I'm just like so much fucking gun ho and America's right all the time. I don't think you're that kind of person. I'm happy to admit that America should not have been there. My issue is that...

During the Vietnam War, during the Korean War, you have an entire generation of young men that went off to fight a war, and they don't necessarily know why they were fighting it or why they ended up there. And they also probably don't know what the actual results were because they didn't have the internet with Wikipedia. They could just fucking Google what actually fucking happened. They just got sent somewhere, and they were like, fucking, this is a bad guy. Don't die. Fucking good luck. Right? Yeah.

And they got sent there. They did the best they fucking could. And then in Korea and Vietnam, they got to come home. And all the fucking historians that didn't go fight, they stayed and they went to college. And those guys came home and they're like, hey, you fucking lost. And I completely disagree. On the surface level. You don't think there's a substantial amount of Vietnam veterans that have come to that same place?

I absolutely think there is a huge amount of Vietnam veterans that have come to grips and accepted the fact that they lost the Vietnam War. Here's my issue. I wouldn't even say they lost. It was a lost cause. For a period of time, I asked every Vietnam veteran that I got to talk to if they thought they won or lost. And almost all of them said they thought they lost. And one of them said...

when it comes to war, nobody wins. And the only people that care to argue about it are the people that never fought. And for the longest time, it made me quit trying to argue about it forever. And the part that changed my mind was the fact that the people that wanted to shit on that guy's legacy and what that guy did didn't stop arguing for it. And they kept arguing that he fucking lost and he didn't.

By any objective measurement of winning, they didn't lose.

They killed more enemies than they managed to kill. They forced the enemy to sign a peace treaty that was not beneficial to them. There's no metric that you can point to on a person-to-person basis where you can be like, yeah, no, you fucking lost. It doesn't exist. No, I know. You're talking about a different war, and I still disagree. How about... Jack, give me one second. I hate... I can do... I fucking despise I can do this. I despise I can do this. So...

Uh, it's fucking shout out to two ID, my sweet boys. Are you about to name drop? We found one of the first ISIS kill houses, right? So ISIS kill house in Iraq is 2008.

We found one of the first ones. We didn't know what to forgot about this story. Yeah. Go ahead. As a man with no military experience, this is a real fucking awkward conversation. Guys, if you don't know who King Trout is, three purple hearts, one medal of honor, and two silver stars. Only if you count war crimes.

We're starting his lore right now. And he wears his national defense ribbon around his neck like his Medal of Honor. And he puts his Medal of Honor in his back pocket. I almost served. I was this close. I'm airport security now, but I almost served.

I'm basically a Medal of Honor recipient. Dude, I fucking hate people who are UNISER. Fuck you. Go fuck yourself. So ISIS, we found one of the first ISIS kill houses in 2007 to 2008. We didn't know what the fuck this was. This was, we didn't know. It was a fucking murder house. We were like, oh, fuck. Don't know what these words are. We had no clue in ISIS during Mokhtadiya, the push into Mokhtadiya.

We were always a fucking temple to spear. So we had the bad areas every fucking time. When I hear other people's war starts, I'm like...

Wait, you guys only have one Purple Heart in your entire battalion? That's fucking weird. How many do you have? We're like 48. What? Yeah, we got shot a lot. How did you guys only get shot at one time? So, fast forward. We found it. We didn't fucking know. Then you go to 2014, 2013 when ISIS started kicking off in Mokhtadea.

We cleared that area out. I remember we killed the two snipers in that. B-Co did. And it was like, hey, we have brought peace. I remember because a general, two-star general, two fucking star general during this time. Was this Boozer? I want to say it was my boy Boozer. General Boozer.

He was the only general I walked up. He was like, what are you doing? I was like, sir, where's your fucking hair? It was like, why the fuck is a specialist correcting me? I was Eli in this military time. So I just correct him on the spot. Get in the hell hole, the hatch, the hell hatch. What are the, whatever the hell hatches in the back of Shires we got up. I was like, sir, what's up? And he's old as shit. He's like, uh, what are you doing? I was like, what's up? How was it fighting next to Abe Lincoln? He was like,

He's like, you don't watch yourself. We're driving. And I remember his verbiage driving through this area. He was like, man, you boys need to be fucking proud of yourselves. You have cleaned this area up so goddamn good. Fucking those two snipers, you killed them. No one else here. All the terrorists in this area, fucking dead. Good job. Boom!

fucking IED explosive bomber me and Ryder I think it was Ryder at that time we were in the back hell hatches fucking look around he's like I'm fucking I make the clauses like fucking IED IED very monetized bomber like you okay it's like yeah he just

Okay, we're good. He just blew himself up. No, no, no. He Ryan Reynolds himself. He blew himself. You can say blow himself up. Yeah, he Ryan Reynolds himself into oblivion.

I was like, and he was like, changed his pronouns permanently over there. So fuck it. It's like dude, S vest himself right in front of me and writer. And I'm like, what the fuck? And I'm like, ID, ID, ID. Like, Oh, well you fucking good. Yeah, we're good. He did nothing. He did nothing. And then we're like sitting there. I'm like,

Hey, it smells like barbecue. Weirdly enough. And then General Boozer, he's like, you all okay? I'm like, yeah, sir. We're fucking fine. Man, you don't see that fucking any day of the week. God damn it. What the fuck is going on? A dude just S-bassed himself? Holy shit. We get out. There's fucking two feet and that's it. And an explosion. We do all that. We...

And he's like, holy shit, soldiers, you're doing fucking great. We clear out all of Mokdea. It's fucking peaceful. Fast forward four years, six years, watching the news. ISIS has took over all of Mokdea. I'm like, cool. Everyone died for nothing at this time in their life. Literally every sacrifice we made in that sector was

For not. I don't know. I was like, man, we fought for that really, really difficult. We lost a lot of dudes pushing into that and the bread basket. That was a whole week. Actually, one of my buddies got canceled because of the bread basket. I don't know if I ever told that story. Do you know that? Time Magazine with what? Holy shit. Time Magazine decided to come out and join 2ID for the pushing the bread basket. We...

They're like, we get a call from the bad guys on the other side. They're like, hey, this is happening on the bread basket. Go to the bridge. We show up. One of these specialists, I forget his name. There's a fucking head on the bridge that separates us. This is just a head of a major of the IA. So he like grabs it. He's like, hey, we got this. What do we do with it? And he's smiling, just like, what the fuck? I've had Time Magazine.

That's bad PR. He gets fucking demoted. He gets shit on for this entire thing. Because Time Magazine, this is his face.

Holding a human head. He's just holding a human head. And they printed this. By the way, that's when I feel sorry for officers. That's like literally like... It's not his fault. No, he was grabbing it off the fucking HESCO barrier. He was walking in towards us. If that would have been a private, they would have been like, yeah, he's a private. Specialist though, he grabbed up the HESCO and he's like walking towards us like...

What is this? And time's like, yeah. He doesn't know for a week. And then the article comes out. Sergeant Major's like, what the fuck is this? He's like, he's demoted instantly to E1. Like all this shit happens. It's a fucking shit show. And then fast forward six years and ISIS is controlling all of Maltidia and Iraq. We're like, my buddies,

Fuck. Dope. I mean... How do you feel about that, Nick? I think it's really hard...

for you guys that had to go through that. And my issue with it is, if you guys have an opinion, I'm not going to argue with you about how you feel about it. Whatever you feel about it to justify it is fine. I'm never going to argue about it. I tell World War II veterans all the time they need to man the fuck up. Jesus Christ. Thank you, Jack. You fucking Germans. But my allies were there.

They're our allies. What are you fucking crying about, Grandpa? Jesus fucking Christ. These suck it up. That's where I say to World War II veterans. I'm sure it says World War II. Why are you crying about it? It's just a simple texture.

Talking about fucking Japan. They make anime. They make fucking... Who gives a shit? All right? They gave us Shohei Otani, bro. Shohei Otani. Oh, my God. For the record... What was your question? Jesus Christ. You were saying on how veterans feel about losing or winning a war. I'm not going to argue with you about it, but anybody else that...

like has no military experience. I'm going to argue with all day and night because all they want to do is shit on you because they just have the opinion that America bad and you're bad for doing whatever. I love my country. I can understand. I'm not arguing with you. Don't,

I don't think that you hold this opinion. Yeah, I want an America high five. America down low, baby. Do you really think nothing good came out of it? Oh, there you go. I think many good things came from it. We have terrorism.

But like during, so you said, you said there was, you watched their cinematography. There was a six year gap. What happened during that six year gap? We, I hate, I'm not even going to mention their names. Here's my question. Is there an entire generation of children?

That are going to know for the rest of their lives and be able to tell their kids and their grandkids that this doesn't have to be the way of life that we live through because I've seen better. I've experienced better. And it was because of what you did.

It's hard because I see like now, oh man, this adds fucking props to you. That's a really good question. Cause that's my point. That's my argument with everybody because there's an entire generation of women in that entire part of the world. They got to learn how to read and got to learn how to do math and got to learn how to do and got to learn and go to school and do all this stuff because you were there walking around with a gun saying,

This is how we fucking live. Do you want to fight about it? And they said, no, we're going to cower in the corner and we're going to place bombs on the roads. We're talking about Iraq. You were in. Yeah. Yeah. Iraqi girls have always been able to read for the most part. You're thinking of Afghan girls. You're thinking of Afghan. Sorry. No, but it's crazy because you do get it. Trust me. I get to see that side where you see the.

It's fucking hard because right now, Jack, you will weigh on this. Fucking, fucking can't weigh in on this. You have what we as a society, society is key words there of what we dictate as right or wrong. All it's based off of is society at that moment in time. You have periods of time where different things were legal.

Okay. You had the atrocities of torture that were like, yo, this is normal. Let's build this fucking... Not even that. Just talk about what the rules of engagement were when you were there. Oh, dude. Jack, you have to admit, it's fucked with the rules of engagement. Yes, people might break the rules. People might bend them. But...

I stuck to, and this is Eli, fucking dumb private to specialist Eli during this time period. I was like, oh, they got AKs and they're aiming at us. We can't shoot them because that's the rules. Because they can't engage. They get to shoot first, and then after they do shoot, you're only allowed to shoot back with your M4 or your M16 because that's a similar caliber with a similar force. And you can't shoot back with a Mark 19 or a .50 caliber machine gun because that wouldn't be fair.

That was iffy. I understand that, but that's my whole fucking argument. At any point in time, you guys could have marched through and exterminated every military-aged male. At any point in time that you fucking wanted to. Okay, to lean into what you're saying. And then claim that you're not the good guy is insane to me. Oh, I will never argue. Wait, wait, wait. Exterminating...

Just males randomly that are unarmed? You wouldn't be the good guy. No, he's saying four. How many military age males in that area of the world are unarmed? Or let me rephrase, are armed that did not deserve it? Like they could have just issued the order. Anybody carrying an AK-47 between the ages of 18 and 55? I'll tell you what, a lot of them didn't want a part of that shit, man. Jack, how do you reframe this into a question that's more relatable to him and your viewer?

What do you mean? So when he is stating a question like that, you state it as how I always do it. It's like, okay, so if someone is invading your country and you have a firearm to defend your country for tyranny and how you're going to have it in your head, how do you defend that? See how that changes the cause and effect of the conversation? Dude, you know what I do? What?

I was wholly unprepared for this conversation. I got off a plane an hour ago. I've had nine beers. I don't know what the fuck's going on. I walked into this shit. He's ranting about whatever. He's ranting about whatever. We're like an hour into the Patreon episode. We're good. No, it's weird because when you...

As I always say, it's a multifaceted problem. And when you look at it like that, it's like, would I be defending my homeland for things? I don't know because I've been raised off this and my education isn't the same as theirs.

How would I be engaging these people? Because I had the exact same mindset fighting these individuals. It was like, okay, this is how I created terrorists. I have nothing against Iraqi people at all. No. I actually, you want to hear it? I don't want to divert this conversation. No, go ahead. Please do. I love- King Trout's like, no, no, no. I should drink more. I fucking-

I'm not a fucking veteran. I have no say. You are a veteran. You are an honor in America. Have you ever voted? I never have. You never voted? I've never voted. I'm almost... I've never voted in my life. I'm going to fight for your rights. Same. Same. Y'all haven't voted either? Vote.

I served and I was like, okay, so none of this matters. You literally have a purple heart and didn't fucking vote? Because I served and it was like, oh, no one gives a shit about me. Some people have big dicks and never fuck, dude.

I always looked at it and was like, no one gives a shit about me. So you were just going to... You just got injured for whatever. Yeah. I don't pay property tax in Texas. It's dope. Who do you think actually fucking loves his Purple Heart? If you have a disability and a Purple Heart, you don't pay property tax. Are we at war with anyone right now? Can I say how much I love the Arab people?

Yeah, that's what I was implying. Yeah, you're like, I want that back. Pay those taxes. I'm like, okay, what the fuck's wrong with you, bro? I'll take it. I'll take it right now. Here's my issue. I completely understand where you're coming from. You're coming from a wealth of knowledge, and that's a completely separate conversation. My issue is that you have people that have done nothing but read memes their entire life, and they just get to summarize memes.

Guys like Eli. Again, me. I get that. Hey, by the way. That's my issue. Our generation is literally, I'm almost 40. I'm fucking old. Yeah. We used to make fun of the Vietnam vets.

It's a generational thing. Like, we used to not understand Vietnam vets. We used to rip on them. That's my fucking point, though. Jack is six months older than you. Do you think it's fucking fair that the historians that wrote the history on Vietnam veterans didn't give you the full picture as a kid? And do you think that's fair to the Vietnam vets that they taught the entire younger generation poorly?

No, you know, actually, I think Vietnam vets actually took care of us in the sense that a lot of Vietnam vets going into the invasion of Iraq. I don't want to get back on the subject, but they're actually very vocal about how this is a bad idea. This could be a bad thing. And a lot of people in a lot of war hawks who never went to Vietnam. They're like, oh, yeah, we got it. We got to go. If you don't support the troops and love America, then you hate the troops.

And they pulled that whole gaslighting thing. Why do you think they were able to gaslight you? Me? Anybody. I wasn't gaslit. In general, in the American public. I enlisted on August 11, 2001. You just said that they were gaslit. Why do you think that? The American public? Yes. They were more hungry. We were more hungry people. Why do you think that they weren't willing to listen to the Vietnam veterans? Because they'd been discarded before. Why do you think they were discarded?

Because the entire fucking generation of historians that didn't fight Vietnam and went off to college instead decided that they were going to shit on Vietnam veterans, call them losers. No, no, no. That wasn't a thing. Those guys weren't calling them fucking losers. They were calling them fucking war bad.

Anyways, can I get back to why I love the Arabian people? Oh, I almost jumped in. All of my experiences. No, wait, hold on, Jack. I was just going to say, talking about the hippie movement. What? The hippie movement and their treatment of Vietnam. Not necessarily the hippie movement. No, hippies weren't necessarily anti-veteran. That's such a fucking misconception. Hippies weren't automatically anti-veteran. A lot of fucking veterans became hippies.

And a lot of fucking hippies literally felt bad for the guys fighting the war. Yeah, a lot of guys were just... That was a jack-o'-lantern fish show. You got this. It's a nice give and take. Now we're passing the torch. That fucking thing about... Jack, you passed the torch. No, I was just going to say... No, that thing about Vietnam veterans getting spit on, it is such a fucking... It's almost a fucking lie. That was my extremist interjection. Okay, go on with it.

So a lot of guys who fought in Vietnam were just fucking dudes. It wasn't like they... Like Tyrone Washington from Detroit? Well, that's a bit racist. I don't care for that voice, but they were just guys. I like voices are racist. This is how I know. How old are you? Old enough. Younger. Yeah. 29, 32, somewhere between there. Okay. Yeah.

I'm 30. No, I'm 30. Okay, okay, sweet. Okay, because it is that. It's weird watching. Go back on your topic. It's watching the different age brackets, how they interact with individuals, and I was like, hold on to this. I'm a ripe 52. Here's all I want. Jack, I legitimately value your opinion because I think you're a

extremely intelligent person. Which means you're about to get aggressive. No, no, no, not at all. I just want you to acknowledge the fact that probably, maybe, greater than 50%, even 51%, that the majority of historians post-

Germany surrendering in World War II have viewed the lens of history through a negative America should have never been there in the first place. America is overall bad lens. So Nick, I grew up with Jack. So this is me being serious. I grew up in Jack where I'm one year older than you. Did you do the four yet?

Did I do one year? I'm one year older. I'm approaching the four. Yes, both of us are. Okay. Have you approached... Are you 40 yet? I'm very close. Okay, so we're one year age difference. Yeah. So there's a one year... Jack is older than me by one year. So...

I'm going to say... Bad electrician. I see Jack's side on this because when we grew up and how we have the history channel anything like this, it has been very pro-America, very against the Nazi during our... How we...

That's what's extremely... This is what's extremely interesting to me. And we all have HPV. But History Channel, anything like that, we have been predisposed to fucking Nazi suck America's fucking awesome, right? That was your history in high school. Right, but even what you just said proves my point because I said everything after the European theater of World War II.

Oh yeah, Japan, we were like, it was an afterthought is how we've been. I did research, so I don't count on like Nanking or things like this. Like, hey, here's, I can tell you the nukes. I can tell you the megatons and the re-megatons on how they fucking blew that shit up.

But it was an afterthought to Nazi. For the longest time, I'm going to be honest, I thought we killed Japan before we even disposed of the Nazis. For a long time. Because I dropped out of high school. Kids stay in school. If you want to film, hashtag kid again. That's a very, like, history. Jack, please respond. I'm waiting. No, wait, wait, wait, wait. There's a lot of people who don't know shit about history.

The Nazis were obviously the bad guys in World War II. The Japanese were also very obviously the bad guys. Equal the bad guys. Don't forget about the Italians. Those fucking shitbags. Why don't we talk about the Japanese? Yeah, we don't talk about the Japanese because only the Americans were fighting them. No, that's not true at all. No. No, the Australians were fighting them. The British were fighting them. The Chinese. The Indians. The Indians.

Oh, yeah. A lot of people are fighting them. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Japan. The New Zealanders. But that's my point. There's an entire generation of historians literally called the revisionists that came in after the surrender in the European theater that view everything through a lens of America bad. Yeah. That's my point. Japan was the. Who, like, even the most liberal fucking historians of the time, like Gore Vidal, were not anti-American. Yeah.

They were like objective. They didn't necessarily see the guys they... Gore Vidal, who literally fought those guys, didn't see them as evil, but he like... He was an anti-American.

This is what I love right now. This is my favorite time because you get to see how different individuals research. I still want to answer the question why I love Arab people. Go. Go. Arab people, go. No, it is crazy. I love this because it's these different aspects of...

We all live in America. And Oliver's like, no, fuck that. Fucking Germany? No. Japanese theater? No. But that's my fucking point. Why the fuck is it that 99% of Americans, when asked about any war post-World War II, can't give you any answer other than America lost? I walked off the airplane an hour ago. We didn't lose Desert Storm. Right, but that's not even viewed as a war. Desert Storm.

Desert Storm is one of the greatest military accomplishments ever. It is a surgical military operation. We smoked them, dude. It was. And I'll tell you what. I hate that we smoked them. That's a Call of Duty game. Desert Storm. No, that's a Call of Duty game. We got our fucking 20 kills instantly. We were like, nuke. And then the master engineer was like, fucking get... George Bush was like, hey...

Fuck you. Desert Storm. You walked off stage. Desert Storm was such a fucking masterpiece of a military operation that the military industrial complex of America stepped in after the fact and said, we can never let that happen ever again because we didn't make any fucking money. Yeah.

These guys went in and wrecked the largest... Okay, sorry. They had the largest in the hemisphere, the third largest military in the world at this point in time. Which is crazy because they did have the third. And within three weeks, they had the second largest military in their own fucking country. Decimated, yeah. He's not lying. It was surgical. They had the third largest military, the entire military in the world. But you never learn about that. And that doesn't count as a war.

Because America won too quick. And the Korean War counts as a war, even though there was never an official declaration of war. But America lost that for some reason. And America lost all these other ones for some reason. But every time America wins, Operation Just Cause, America lost. Desert Storm, America lost, even though we won super quick. Operation Praying Mantis, America lost. I feel like I'm in the receiving end of a lot of...

Jack, I love you. I'm not mad at you. I feel like I'm doubling down if I say anything. That's my whole point. Everything is viewed through the lens of America. I just want to talk about how much I love Arab people. I want to hear it. Please go. Go. Sheiks. Can I just say? Okay. I've been to one of my favorite places on the planet. It's Amman, Jordan. I've never been. Do they have good almonds?

They would. Fucking they would. You know what? Ladies and gentlemen, Kimono Guy. Dude, I want to say so much shit. I'm done. Do it. Stop holding back and fucking say this. We've been filming this for like fucking three hours. Shut the fuck up. Go.

You have to look at editor G-Pan. You are amazing, and you're going to edit this amazingly. The orcs have just arrived at Helm's Deep, and Jack Mandeville is about to give his opinion. Jesus fucking Christ. Yes, we can. Jack, I want to hear it. Dude, I would have showed up fucking hammered.

You done told me- if you'd have showed me- dude, you're like, "I called you a fucking Uber." "Show up- dude, get in the fucking Uber with fucking Eileen." "You made that shitty ass joke about fucking Eileen with the one leg earlier." "Fucking Eileen, driving my fucking Uber." "Alright, I would have showed the fuck up."

I don't know if you've seen it, fucking Hugh Jackman.

He's not in it. It's fucking Hugh Grant. The guy who, no, he didn't flip the fucking car. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. All right? I watched that fucking movie two and a half fucking hours sitting next to some fucking bitch with jiggling ass titties with the fucking window closed. I don't know where

I don't know where the fuck I am, dude. I can't determine what can't the plane is at. I don't know if I'm at 15 degrees or zero degrees. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I love the fact that you determining where you are is whether or not the woman with jiggling titties has the window open. And then you bring me to this fucking sweaty ass house with a fucking refrigerator that doesn't fucking work. I fucking had like nine beers yesterday.

And now you're telling me, "Let's get into the fucking podcast." Alright? I don't know what the fuck's going on. I'm gonna get him another beer. I gotta fucking take a piss. I'm gonna smoke a cigarette. We'll be right back. Here's your advertisement.

Say hi to Eli. Jack, right now I am on the peak of podcasts. I'm like, this might be the greatest episode we've ever had for what is going on. I'm so fucking happy. I am so goddamn happy right now. I just want to say nice things about Arabs. Please go. I just want to get to that thought. Please go. Jack, holy shit. This is probably one of my favorite podcasts I've done in fucking years.

Please go. I'm glad to hear that. It's so good. Everyone's... Yeah, so what I've been trying to say for the last hour and a half is my experience is an array. I can't do it at this point. I'm done. He didn't say any slurs. Yo, can we go smoke? I thought you already had one.

No, I went pee. Anyways, Jack, can I tell you a story before you go smoke? So like I'm trying to go back to like school to get a history degree because like all this shit we've been arguing about all night. But can I talk about the fact that like, I mean, not really. I've mostly been arguing with myself with the mild opinion of you from left field. But I've just been like just wrecking like 19 year old college students on history the entire time.

It's really fun. It's been my new passion in life recently. Yeah, that's like fucking Shohei Otani going up against a fucking double A guy. I feel like me walking into a middle school picking fights with sixth graders. It's incredible. And on that note.

We're going to end this beautiful episode of I Still Never Got to Say Anything Nice About Arab People. That's how it ends, Jack. It's a metaphor. It's a metaphor. No one warned me. But tomorrow you now know what you do. Poor King Trout. I came all the way here to get fucking cancelled.

Bro, we love you. Thank you. Jack, where can we find you? Hi, my name's Jack. I just, I'm on the internet. Jack Mandeville. J-A-C-K-M-A-N-A-D-V-E-L. Perfect. King Trout, where can we find you? King underscore Trout, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, you'll find me. Google King Trout, you'll find me. Fucking Christ. Go to thefatelectrician.com. You'll find me.

Lame. I'll fucking choke the shit out of you with that kimono on. G-Man. Can we do another? You won't fucking do shit, dude. You want to fight right now? Yeah. They're going to make out cut when they make out. We're going to fight right now. Okay. Two kimonos. Two kimonos.