110 - GREATEST MAGIC TRICK EVER ft. Your Narrator & Wes Barker 01:40:16

You're not! The last one was soft focus. I'll move that bucket. No, he's good. You just move. So goddamn much. But you're... Because I don't move. Well, it got focused on me. It's okay. You f***ing mountain? What? You said you don't move. I can't just lean in front. I don't like that one. I can be in both frames. This is good. F*** you. It's the little Chris bullshits on your face right now. It's never the mic. You're like, this is where I'm going to be. And then you're like, I'm going to sit back here and talk.

I'm gonna black out in the bathroom. Hey! It was eight times. You peed on your underwear. I peed onto my underwear. Have you not done that? Yeah. No, your pants. Really? Yeah.

Yeah, he peed on his pants. Yeah, I got up and pissed on them. Oh, yes! I was like, why are they so wet? Chris was like, that's your piss, dude. Oh. I just stopped looking. I thought it was like the review.

It's racially ambiguous and batty. That guy's fucking ridiculous. We don't know. Best not to ask yourself why. But my friend, you've arrived. Welcome to unsubscribe. Today's episode is sponsored by honey. An easy way to save while shopping on your iPhone or computer. Not what the bears eat.

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I was at DreamHack last weekend and got super drunk and ended up climbing onto the roof of a building. I don't know how or which building, but I was on the roof. Wait, what? Yeah. Hangover shit right there. The last night. When did that happen? When we all went back. You're done. Or no, no. It was the first night when we got blackout drunk. Yeah, you guys went hard. Yeah, I...

We had a bar with Ludacris. Yeah, there's a bar with Ludacris? That's pretty sweet. That was kind of cool. He did like one half wrap and then he sat down and just drank a lot. And he smoked a lot. Smoked a lot. That was like... Hang on, what... Were you guys... Did he know you were hanging out with him? No, we weren't hanging out with him. We were at a booth and he was in the other room. It is like I thought that. He was just Ludacris was there. You guys are like one selfie like... With Ludacris.

I was just like, dude, it is that next level of like stardom though. Cause you have fast and furious series and then his music. He was just like, everyone's just like standing there trying to just be like, to make eye contact with him. Was he, was he in finding Forrester? Forrest Gump? No, no. Sean Connery movie. That's a real movie. I think he was.

I know you're a wizard and all, but are you f***ing with me right now? No, he was really good. I remember he played a parking lot attendant. Was he? I think I'm right.

I don't know anything about the- Finding Forrester? Like- It was a basketball movie. He played the main guy's brother and he was like a parking lot attendant, I'm pretty sure. It was the American preview of Finding Nemo. Yeah. We have to look this up now because I'm sounding really weird. It could be really racist. It's like, bro, this is Samuel L. Jackson. He was in Ghost Dog, right? Yeah, yeah. A 2000 drama.

Rightening Forrester Sean Connery. Thank you very much. Boom. I still think you're lying. I'm fine. I still think you're racist. That's unrelated to that comment. Randy, go ahead and check that. Welcome to the Instagram podcast. As always, Eli doubles up myself. Batty streams. We have our two beautiful, powerful, strong, glorious, wonderful.

Has a book guest. We got your narrator, Wes Parker. I don't have a book. He has a book. Well, Wes has the book. Yeah, yeah. You're just next to me, so I'll be down the line. I was about to say, like, I can't read. Can you sell my book for me, though? He narrates your book. Yeah, narrate it. All right, so let's see. Let's see. Just read the back. Wait. The back. All right. Abracadumas.

is a collection of hilarious and inspiring stories from Wes's decade-long journey to become one of the most popular comedy comedians. Just kidding. Magicians.

Working today. Told you I couldn't read. Period. Whether it's card tricks for people at a sex club, private shows at a billionaire's castle, behind the scenes at America's Got Talent, or the devious secrets of making magic for TV, Wes Knowles... Try that again. Wes holds nothing back.

You'll also get lessons from a master magician on showmanship, deception, and the power of being bold as Wes explains how he creates magic tricks, makes viral videos, fooled Penn and Teller, that's impressive, and teaches tricks you can perform.

Wow, that was really good. Boom. I had to record my audiobook and I spent the last 20 hours talking to myself realizing I can't read out loud. So I'm very impressed by that. Now you're like, can I pay you to narrate the entire book? No, it doesn't need to sound that sexy. No. Like, did we pop the top already? No. Oh. Oh, we fucking up, bros. I've got a good pineapple. Wait, watermelon? I brought a button this time. Watermelon. Oh, nice. Ready? Ready? Ready? One, two, three.

One you dare don't you dare? What's that? That was the worst product placement you have ever done in the history of Addery's one time I had sex with it rare cuts that one got your fucking protein bar. Yeah, is that bad? No, it's good. No, it tastes like a sticker I love how you take a bite. Is it bad? You warned me. It's a protein bar.

Dude I can handle eating some fucking protein every now and then wait is your shirt is it a rabbit? Oh Kill that fly I hate that I'm gonna try to be cool. I don't know I'm gonna use your book to make this fly does it absolutely man. It's gotta be good for something Oh magic

I'm doing good. I got up at three in the morning today. So far, I've had six pints, an espresso martini, and whatever these are. I need to ask a very important question, though. This morning, I saw an Instagram story. What did you pick? Coffee?

So I started with- Was it whiskey? It was whiskey or coffee, because I was like, it's 3 a.m. What the fuck do you do at 3 a.m.? Yeah, I'm with you there. So I was like, I started with the coffee. I'm like, ha ha ha. Then I'm like, fuck. All right. I'm going to the airport. I'm not driving. Uber, airport, I don't have to fly the plane, nothing. So it's all good. Like everyone, when they land, they're like, hey, in town. I read it. I'm like, cool. Thank you for texting me. He sends me a fucking DM on Instagram. What? What?

I was like scrolling and it was like, I'm here after I scrolled like multiple things. I'm like, what the fuck? Why'd you send it here, bro? He's like, sorry, a bar kidnapped me. I low level didn't want to meet him right away. I didn't want to go to this bar if I know. So I just wanted to go drink by myself for a minute. You know what?

It's a normal thing that most men our age do. Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me. I was dying. Is that what it is? It's been a rough couple months. Bro, buy my book.

We got bills up here. That's Parker.shop. Link in the bio. Just fucking fly. And this almost ended my relationship. So my mom and my wife were both debating who I would write the dedication to. Did you split it? Is it me? Did you write it about me? It's me.

This is to unsub my favorite podcast? Yeah. And Bottom of the Barrel? It is a bit devastating for them. Yeah, Bottom of the Barrel podcast for sure. It should be the first thing you see when you open it. Is it to Chris? I hope it's to Chris. No, that's not the forward. Keep going, keep going. Okay, pass the forward. Wait, wait, keep going. No. Why is it not in there yet? Is it not in the book? Oh, that's even worse. Is it just doing it? No, it didn't get printed. I mean, there's this. What?

That is gonna create a lot of issues now. No, no, there it is! To Ryan Reynolds, who's up on our wall, you may be handsome, talented, charming, and tall, but I'm a better magician. Unless you buy this book, then I'm totally fucked. That is a wonderful dedication. Thank you very much. That is perfect. Nobody wins but Ryan Reynolds.

Your hair looks just as good still. That's a six-year-old photo, so hey. Oh, Batty. Completely forgot. I just realized I wasn't wearing my glasses this whole time. I thought you were. I was like, oh, he's going for a look. Danny wears his sunglasses and a leather jacket on the podcast. That's true. We left Grant's food at

BJ's. The food we ordered. Wait, we just got up and left it? So we left it and then he was like, where are you? I'm at BJ's. I was like, Grant, we're at the podcast house. And

I was like, wait, what? I was like, well, I'm here. I was like, fuck, wait, actually, this works perfect. Walk inside and say my name because they have your food. And they had his food. I was like, honey, I might have food for Eli. And they were like, yeah, sure, we'll check. They went in the back, nothing. And I'm like...

Alright, is he this name? And they're like, I'll check. Went back again. Nothing. I texted you saying they don't know where it is. And then randomly, they found it in the back corner on a random fucking table because they just put it back there. Was that our table? The dude on the table we were eating at? Yeah, so they were just like...

"Oh, here you go!" And I'm like, "Cool, awesome." And in fairness, he texted you and got no quicker response than me DMing you on Instagram, so... That is... Fuck you. You have to call Eli. You really do. You seem like a phone guy to me. I'm a phone guy. He's a FaceTime guy. I like going like, "Hi, how are you? How you doing? Yeah, what a good day." I will answer you, but you get what you get. He's FaceTiming.

That's you being like fool I'm gonna call him first form gave us 15 seconds to do now 50

Michael Factor! First4.com slash unsubscribe! First4! That's okay. One of my buddies, Josh, he does that all the time. He'll wait until, because he's an Australian, he waits until like 4 a.m. on the weekends and he'll FaceTime me and I'll be like, Josh, what's up? And he's just fucking full-blown naked sprawled out on like an inflatable in his pool and he's just like, I miss you so much. And I'm like,

That's Josh. How do you know that guy? He's part of the little group that I'm part of. Oh, right. You got friends like that. If you can't have a friend you can call naked, then they're not your friend. Yeah, they're not your friend. Never call me naked. Really? Seriously? No. Why are we going to call each other naked? You're not even... See, that's it. You're not close as I thought you were. No.

That's right. We have sags. Oh. We just poke our dick out through like the... No skin touching. No, no, no. We wear the butt flap. Straight up and on. We'll butt flap PJs. It's a great time.

Why did those go out of style? Now you're saying it. I'm like, let's go. You're like, wait, let's bring those back. Let's go. You have those cool zipper jeans that go from the front all the way to the back. Just open it up. You have the cool butt cheek windows. I've never seen those jeans. Have you never seen those? No. They're crazy. There's also some jeans that have the plastic on the butt so you can see them as people are walking by. I call it the gas chamber. It's crazy. Imagine someone forcing

Oh my god, you're just gonna see Did you fart now? Okay, first off what magic tricks did you bring? Yeah, also is that only reason I get invited over? Yeah, fuck up. They ask you to speak. We ask you to do fucking magic. I

I actually I did bring when I could show you right now. Can you make my depression disappear? Oh

Remember what he was talking about on the you're gonna see afterwards. Okay, what's happening? I miss the inside joke. I don't know. Whoa He's got red solo cups. That's mental. You're just drinking in the corner. That's not it's not a trick West Well, I mean that's been a trick. I've been performing for years disappear

Okay, we got two cups. What do we got here? You and me, buddy. Here we go. I teach this trick in the book, so I'll show you guys here. All right. So I can still pitch my book at the same time. You pour some water in a cup like this, right? Water. Yeah, in the cup. And then you got to move it around like this. Are you right-handed, left-handed? I'm right-handed. So take your right hand. You're going to hold the cup like this on top of your head. Okay. Okay? Might be hard. I got like a caveman slope. Don't sit down. Hang on to it. Don't let it go. Okay. All right. All right.

Okay, and you're gonna do this. You're gonna move it around a little bit with your hand like this. And I'm gonna say the magic words, which is unsubscribe, but also then go subscribe to Wes Barker. It's fine. WesBarker.shop. Nice. That's magic words. Yeah. And then you slowly turn the cup over and the water will be vanished. Good luck, my friend. Bro, come on. Believe in me.

Believe in yourself. Are you sure? I think we did it right! You gotta trust the magician! I'm wearing white pants. Yeah, I know I want you to do it. You got it. Do you want me to do it? Look at- I'm gonna stare at you while I do this. It's like sex. I hope it works. I teach it in the book, it better work. Let's do it. 180 that bitch, don't slow port. What the fu- It's a diaper!

I fucking hate kids so much. It's the only time I ever bought a diaper in my life. Dude, the thing about that was that like I held it above my head and I still felt like the heaviness to it and I'm like there's no fucking way this is gonna do. This is not a trick. Check it out, check it out, check it out. Look at this one. You guys can see no diaper in that one. No diaper, right? No diaper. Let's try it again just for fun. Okay. Take it on top of your head like this. You gotta say the magic words. Westbarker.shop Yeah.

Yeah, you remember the syrup? Well I gotta, I gotta spin it, I gotta stir the pot. Yeah, yeah, now you did it all. So nice and slow, you should be able to turn it over. Should be gone this time. Should be gone this time? I think so. Fucking tip it! Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I felt the weight of the water as I tipped it. He poured it right here. But then it just disappeared. He poured it right here. That's awesome. Thanks, man. With that bottle that you put in Batty's butt. We were talking about that yesterday on the drive home. We were like, Batty, you should just put one up there and shit it out today. And it will scare them. Because then they'll be like, who the fuck can do that?

I still get asked every single day. That's great. Every day. Where'd the bottle go? I'm like, mother, it's back.

It's been six months! It's still up there. It's digesting. Congratulations, you've been promoted from magician to alchemist. You're a wizard now, Harry. I'll take it. Oh my god. I don't trust anything. No, you shouldn't. It's not fake. I was here for an hour before you guys got here. I said a lot of shit. See that, dude? That's what I said! I've said, motherfucker. I'm so mad right now. I was talking about Chris and you yesterday. I was like,

I bet they're gonna be at the house or they were here before and they're hiding shit around this house, man. If you guys had worse security, I would 100% come here months before just to surprise you with one stupid-ass trick. But your security's so good. Every time you come in, it announces you. You're like, fuck!

Yeah, you use this house the fucking snitch Why is it West outside our house? Oh, what was that you both just got back from Japan I

Oh, you were in Japan? You were too? Dude. Let's go. Okay. Are we going to make out? Maybe. That's what we do. Anyone that's been on Japan, make out. It's always on count of three. One, two, three. Now make out. Watch. We'll show you. Damn it.

I went with Chris Ramsey. Me and him were in Japan making a documentary because he sells puzzles on YouTube. A lot of the good ones come from here, so we went to that town where they made them. First day we get there, we're just walking in the middle of Tokyo, and we run into half of Mr. Beast's team. We're like, hey, Carl!

Like hey, and what do you think there's 29 million people living in Tokyo? Yeah, why we walked down the same street at the same time and we're like making a video We're like us to buy now. I would just pass each other's ass the fact that you were there does not even surprise me now I know like we as soon as we got there We literally saw the screenshot of like him and PewDiePie though at the wheel We were all there the same time. Oh my god, so it was like we were like oh well I

Of course we have to do it. So we went to that wheel and just like recreated it in a stupid way. We were like, who did it better? Most bizarre thing happened to you. What was the most bizarre thing for Japan? Bizarre thing? Weirdest cultural like, whoa. Sorry. Oh, the weirdest cultural. Okay. So I would say that like the weirdest cultural thing that I experienced in Japan is that even when the people were racist, they were nice about it.

Okay. Like the cab drivers, they would see that we were white and they would look at us and automatically assume that we don't speak Japanese, which is a rightful assumption. But they would see us like it was pouring rain. We're in our little umbrellas and they would look at us and go, no, and cross their arms with an X and be like, no, so sorry, no, no English, no. Like we need a taxi. No. And then they drive off. But, or they would like skip us and then just like pick somebody else up that was speaking Japanese. Huh?

At first I was kind of pissed off, but then I thought about it and I was like, you know what?

Number one, you're a taxi driver. That's already stressful enough. And then you have to deal with people who you can't actually talk to. Yeah. I'm like, I get it. I get it. Dude, oh my God. Chris and I are in a taxi. We're heading out to this like Hakune, I think it's called. It's like a really smaller town. It's like way out. And we're in this cab and it's a lot further than we think. And I look in the meter and the meter's going up and up and up. And I'm like, I take my Google Translate and I'm looking at all the signs. I'm like,

is cash only. And Chris was like, yeah, yeah, I noticed that earlier. And then we're counting our money out and then I'm like, how much you got? We're all in the back and we're getting closer and closer and I'm looking at the meter and I'm like, and stop.

Like it is cool cuz like when you get the yen you're like the exchange rates

awesome. So you're thinking like, wow, we're balling here. But then it goes by, especially in taxis, really, really fast. So you're like, oh, 500 yen, no problem. Now it's a grand, no, probably it's 10,000, that's $100, and it's 15. And now we're here. Yeah. Those coins get you at first because you're like, I'll pay with coins. Well, Canada, you already have high dollar coins. America's like 25 cents. So there's dollar coins or whatever they have. Two dollar coins, right, in Japan? Up to

They have... It's called yen. Yeah, yen. They have... Yes, I know. They have $2 coins in Japan, right? No, but no, they have the 100 yen. They have all the ones, but the main ones that we used were the 100 yen ones because they fit, like they used for like any vending machine and then the... 250? The 500 yen and then the

Then we just use like a thousand yen bills for like yeah, and the bills is all how much is a thousand yen? Oh ten bucks Yeah, it's a good conversion. It's easy to do in your head take two zeros off Yeah, yeah, but it will it will trick you out a little time a couple times right cause the prostitutes are telling you one price and then you're like That sounds like a sweet deal you know Did you go into a Lawson's when you were there? Is that the brothel?

No, why'd you bring this up twice? Magically my conscience is clear but look at that. It's for you

All right, but Lawson's was like their version of, because they have 7-Elevens and they also have like Lawson's, like a little gas station. Yeah, I've been to Lawson's. It looks like English, but it's... I had so many pork cutlet sandwiches. Yeah.

When I was there, it was ridiculous. They were only five bucks, and it was just like every day. It was amazing. You had these two in there? What can you buy with one yen? Dude, the food. A single, like only one yen? Like a penny? Like a one grain of rice. Yeah, one grain of rice. That's probably. Yeah, I think it's like, there's nothing. I never saw anything for less. The food is absolutely amazing. Like the 7-Elevens, we talked about that. Did you go eat at the 7-Elevens even? No. Bro. Bro.

Fuckin that I miss out somehow. Yes, I've never been to Japan this bullshit batty batty the one now just like oh They're having fun talks. No the 7-elevens the what 7-elevens the restaurants the pizzas are the Curry's Yep, just everything you missed out if you didn't why I went for Japanese food my friends Oh my god the Japanese food again sushi. Yeah, the ramen the sushi whatever ice. Oh

Yo, this is insane. We go to the restaurant one day, and Chris is like, we're both pretty adventurous, and when we're there, we're like, let's eat whatever, right? So we're like, we'll just get whatever. The guy comes, we're just like, point at this, point at that. We don't read any of these words. Nope. Whatever. And Buddy's like, oh, this, this, this, blah, blah, blah, sashimi. We're like, yeah, we like sashimi. Sure, bring it. Brings it out. I'm like, oh, this looks good. I start eating it, and I think it's tuna sashimi. I start eating it. Chris is looking at it, and he goes...

Looks like chicken, dude. And I was like, there's no such thing. What do you mean? Chicken sashimi? That's not a thing. I'm just eating it, chomping on it. And then Chris is like, and he like grabs his phone, Google translate on that menu. He's like, that's fucking chicken, dude. And I'm literally just eating it. What? And he's like, I'm like, it tastes so good. How is it? It's so, oh my God. It's not rubbery at all. It doesn't taste like raw chicken like you think it does. It's like just melt in your mouth, like fucking tuna just falling apart. And I was like, but I was just like, I don't know if I can, I,

And I already ate a salad. I'm like, I don't know if I could. That's scary. Now that you know, you're like, Chris is on it. He orders a thing that comes on one of those sizzling hot plate things. Yeah, the hot pot. And we were pretty sneaky about it. But then one time the lady comes by and she sees us sashimi grade chicken. And we're just burning it ourselves in this hot pan and just eating it. She was like, these fuckers.

Great chicken, it's still raw chicken though right how it's prepared because the disease e coli is because yeah processing plants and everything Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who has their book in front of the fucking table right now? Fucking narcissist. Hey, let's do a match book with my face on the front. I'll narrate it too. I've got a professional narrator narrator. I fucking killed this. This is looking real good for me now. I don't care what happens. I'll make a whole fucking thing.

Oh, geez. I don't know. I don't know how they, okay, when you're eating this and then you start Googling it frantically, it says like Japan's the only place in the world they have chicken sashimi. The chickens are specially raised and it's an island. It's all isolated. They're cut off from salmonella. Then you Google it and all the Googles are like, don't eat it if you're not from there. Like,

Like they can eat it, sure, because they're used to it. Their gut biome is different than yours. Don't fucking eat it. And then it lists like 30,000 times it's gone wrong. And I was like, so I had like one piece. I had no choice. I was already eating it. It was good though. It was so good. Let's go back and have it, man. Let's do it. Let's do it. It's going to be great. Did you get the pork? We're bringing Batty though. Yeah, 100%. Batty, will you eat it? I want to go to Japan.

- They have pork, it's the shimmy-grade pork there. - I never knew that, I never tried the pork yet either. - So that was one of the first restaurants we went to. It was, it's like chicken, I was like,

No, why the fuck would I ever? And then I seen pork. I was like, nope, that's even worse. We're going to pass on that. But then you get the food. The sushi is, even at the airport, is better than our four or five star American restaurants. And it sucks. You're like, God damn it. This is so delicious. The 7-Elevens. Did you go to McDonald's or anything either? No. Bro, did you? The food is. No, no, I did. It was still like.

The McDonald's was okay. That one's yours. You just forgot. You forgot. So you could participate in the shot. Don't drink it yet. It's water. I'm making sure it's water. That's fair. No, that's a fair assumption. You've been to this house before. Tequila has a very tequila smelt. Well, that's why I was like...

Cheers, boys. Guys, thank you for coming. I can't believe it. $3,000 appearance fee. You said it enough times on air. You're so generous, boys. I couldn't believe it when they said it. I can pay my mortgage.

I was like, that's too generous. No, no, no, no. I couldn't possibly. Why was that so bad? I don't know. I liked it. That was a good one. I love katsudon. I normally do. Most crazy thing you did in Japan. Go. No, I told you. Was that it? Yeah, eating the sashimi was rough. Never got a raw fish. Gotcha.

Yeah, I think for me that was – everything else sort of – nothing threw me into a panic like that.

Like that. Did you just Mr. Miyagi a fly? I just caught, it wasn't the big one, it was another like fruit fly buzzer. I just caught it and crushed it in my hand. I fucking love that. It's cause of the shirt. We say Japan enough. And then you're like, we say Japan. He pulled out chopsticks and he's like, fucking dexterity raises by 10. Just camera cast that baddie has tape on his eyes. Like baddie, get rid of the tape.

Wings mid-flight

I don't want to go to Japan, man. That is without a doubt. Australia and Japan, two of the places I've wanted to go more than anything. I will say one thing about Japan that's insane to me is it's 129 million people, right? On a little island. And they, and they, so respectful. They don't, they don't need us. No. Okay. Like, like,

Their culture, even though it's one little fucking island, like it looks like the size of New Zealand or whatever, but it's like, you know, way more people. But they've affected our world. You can't go anywhere without seeing Japanese culture, whether it's fucking anime or the food. Look at their backdrop. Look at your backdrop. Right, exactly. Look how people dress. Like everything, fucking...

And it's amazing how it's so small and then it's just affected everybody. They don't need us. They don't care. They're happy that we come. They want us to look around. I mean, we did that too in America. Look, there's McDonald's everywhere. You're welcome. That's true. You're welcome. We affected obesity. And no matter how fat you are in your country, you're still skinny as us. That's true. That's our slogan. That's going to be the new unsub shirts of America. My wife's always like, Wes, you put on like 20 pounds. I'm like, let's move.

If I put on 20 pounds and can it, let's go. Time to get out of here. You still look great. You're in great shape right now. I'm proud. Thank you. I'll take it. I'll take it. Yeah. Right? Dude, Japan, what's crazy is the cleanliness. They don't have trash cans outside. Nope. But when you have trash, you just put it in your pocket. Everyone carries trash with them, and they don't throw it on the ground. Everyone's super respectful. And then when you get in your...

Your train systems or subways. No one talks. It's fucking dope. I live for that. Yeah, Australians already broke that. I didn't like that at all. My group was the asshole. Oh, see, I was trying to be so respectful to everyone. It was, yeah. Everyone. It was fun, though. I did it a little bit when we were having fun and we were laughing and giggling and then I got on the train and I was like...

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That's the new saying it's just check your boys boys get no phone Once I'm on the train we're sitting there and this the seat opens up next to me and this old woman gets on old as fuck bent over and she's like she's a seat she starts going towards it and it's like 20 21 year old girl sees her and runs and charges and sits down and

And this is like, I'm like, whoa, call me a reverse racist, but I didn't think Japanese people behaved like that. You know what I mean? I thought they were just nicer than that. I didn't realize they were like the rest of us.

So I was like in my mind, I'm like wow they're like this everywhere. This is crazy. This is insane. And Chris sees it. He's fucking appalled but it's dead silent like you said. So no one says shit. It's like it's just like a quiet New York subway where everyone's just minding their own business all of a sudden. And then Chris gets up and this old lady like bows so many times to him and sits down and then she, me and Chris spent the rest of time just staring at this young girl.

Just quietly. It was awesome. I was like, this is so cool. I'm like, we're on the right side of history. You know? Finally, the white guy on the right side of history. Let's go. We looked at each other and we were like, white people high-fiving in the air. High-fiving white guys. No, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry, white guys. Mm-mm-mm-mm.

Canadian. It's a trap. He's not white. It's a trap. You got me again. This lighting. Eli, fine. Racist. The tequila was a giveaway. But it's crazy how many times they say, are you writing down that joke? No, I have no idea what they're joking. I just can't say it out loud.

Arigato. But they're like, gomenesai, gomenesai. They'll just thank you over and over. I don't know. I felt like, am I doing too much of the thank you-ing? I felt weird. No, they're so respectful. That's why one of my favorite stories when we renamed the bar in Kyoto, because it was...

- I've heard this story 700 times. - But if you buy the bar around for everyone in the bar the most, you get to rename the front of the bar. Like they go outside and change the fucking thing. - That is cool. - So we changed it to Princess Buttercup's Bar in Tokyo or Kyoto. - That's amazing. - And we got the owner drank with us and got fucking shit. - Hold on. I don't remember you ever telling me the name that you named it Princess Buttercup. - Yeah. - That was the name of one of my childhood cats. Princess Buttercup. - That's literally bar's name is Princess Buttercup. - That's hilarious.

Well, there we go. I did not know that. It was a boy, just to be very clear, named Princess Buttercup. It was a boy barf.

Dudes can be princesses. Yeah, listen, it's 2023 people People can be whatever they want. All right, as long as I can still she them titties. All right, that's all that matters That's all she's received. I think it's Sean Connery. That's the joke. Okay, that was great. Thank you Dude

Dude, you made it. Did you guys go to the all-you-can-drink bars? They're like 25 bucks. No, we had a very specific list of things. Chris was shooting a documentary for his YouTube channel, which is actually fucking good. I hate to say nice things about my friend, but it was really good. He's cute.

He was very specific about what we were doing. And he had all the things sort of like, we're going to meet this person, this person, this person. And we had like one day off. So I'm like, we're just like in Roppongi. It's like a part of Tokyo. We're like, we'll go there. Edge is out for a drink. And we walk in. The first place we go into, this guy's like, Chris Ramsey. And then he's like, hey. You're Chris Ramsey? Yeah, like that. Yeah.

The funny part of the story is he is white. Uh,

But he said it like you said it. He must have been there a while. And then he just took us on this bar call. That was our one free night. But we ended up hanging out with all Americans, Australians, all tourists that night. So we didn't really get into the thick of it. We just went to every tourist destination. Still a fun time, but that was our free night. So the rest of the time, we were meeting up with specific people. And then they were taking us to places that was always very local and important to them.

So we missed a lot of the major highlights. We have to go back next year. I swear to God, we're going to go back because we missed all the major highlights. You want to go next month? Yeah. We'll just pay for everyone. Now we're talking. As soon as you said that. As soon as you threw this. He's like, I can't. Okay, now I'm fine. I just freed up my schedule. Free up a couple things. Sorry to everyone who's got to go to this comedy show next month. You want to go? Japan? When? Whenever. Whenever. Okay.

Have you ever seen Jim Carrey's fucking awesome movie? Yes, man. That's be a yes, man. Thank you. Yes. There. It makes me so goddamn mad about every time. No, fuck. Oh, she's hot. Fuck you. Every time you get animated talk, your hair does this bobble thing and then lands perfectly. It's not doesn't come. Dude, it's guys. You're literally perfect. I can't have that hair. I never noticed that. It just did it though. It was like,

Dude, I'm popping those don't lose your hair pills every day. It better stay with me, man. How many polygons you got in that hair? That's some luscious. It's beautiful. We were eating food and I was like, you got

I thought you were just being no I'm normal. I wasn't even listening to you. I was just watching your hair How many frames a second we shooting this thing? See your forehead Pretty shiny so did you stay in Tokyo the last night? Yeah, two days in Tokyo two days in Odawa Odawara or to war? Nice try Wes and then two days in Tokyo

Japanese name, white guy voice. It's fine. The free day was in Tokyo. You probably did. There's the tourist area in that Tokyo area where all the bars are. There's Shinjuku, there's Roppongi. Shinjuku has the area that has a lot of the... It's like three-seaters? Yeah, you just walk in. The bar's back.

The bars are three seats. And they're open to the outside. There's no wall closing. You just walk up and sit down at the bar. There's like three seats. And it would say, English speaking, please come. Oh, I know. I get a lot of those. Please come.

A lot of police coming. There was a lot of weird little nook and cranny bars. Especially when I was like, alright, you guys, I'm going to head back. We got a film tomorrow morning. I'll catch you guys later. Cool. I go back home, about to fall asleep. It's 1.30 in the morning. Get a text from Juicy. It shows him and he goes, I just drank Seahorse. And I'm like, what? What are you talking about? And they have...

They have, at this bar, they have rattlesnakes and seahorses in jars with alcohol. And he's just like, I drink a seahorse. And he actually drank the seahorse. That's so fucking good. I want to drink a seahorse. If you go to sleep in Japan, you missed something.

Okay? It's not like you... There's no... I'm great at not sleeping. Don't go to sleep. You're going to miss something. He's like that. That's amazing. This Sunday morning... Were you guys there on Sunday morning? I don't know. Dude, Sunday morning... You wouldn't know because in Coingy, that's where we were. That was...

Those Japanese people go fucking hard. They work really hard for those six days. And then the day of rest, I walked out. It was 7 in the morning. I was like, oh, yeah. There's a fucking dude in front of 7-Eleven just peeing. There's guys passed out on the street. And there's girls walking. They're just getting home. They're stumbling. I was like, oh, this is when they let go. Holy shit. Fuck, they went hard. Oh, yeah. But the 7-Eleven pee guy did not.

I'm like oh that guy's peeing yeah at me. Yeah, that's his penis They showed they were showing us there every night They showed us like the same drinking game you might have seen it, too They I think they all do it the drink as much as you can as fast you can for as long as you can Yeah, that's their fucking only drinking game. Yep, and then that's the you it's called drink. I'm sorry

play it oh you do too I play it most nights alone when they get off work that's what they're doing and they're just like yeah we're going out and then drink and you're like oh because like I'm like trying to pace myself like why don't

Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Yeah. I love it. Cause you're by, it started to make me wonder like, what are we, what are we pacing ourselves for? They're like, they're like, let's all just drink all of it right now. And whatever happens happens. I'm like, that is a better plan. Like instead of accidentally getting sneaky drunk late in the night, we know it's going to happen. We all set out together teamwork. I don't know. We were there during what's known as golden week. And that's when they get like the week off.

Oh my god. And so it was like, as soon as we, like, when we were really going in there, Tokyo became, it went from popular to damn near, like, you couldn't move without being squished. And it was just insane. But we did, like,

The different cities were very cool because they're really different as far as like Tokyo was obviously tourist attraction, very big, lots of people. And then Osaka was like a little bit of both where it was like it still was like nice city. It was pretty big, but like you can move around and it was fine.

Kyoto was the tree like super traditional city where like I walked around with the tattoo and they were like whoa and like they were freaking out. Oh, yeah, you can't go in the onsens or anything. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They did not allow that. But you can rent private onsens and then you can just go for it. Which is not as much fun. Most of us learning a second language in high school or college wasn't exactly a high point in our academic careers.

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No. I want to see those Japanese dudes. How long were you there? We were there for three weeks. For filming? Yeah, for YouTube. Oh, shit. So we were out there doing that. We did like sumo wrestling with sumo wrestlers and they're strong.

Shut the fuck up. I want to see that so bad. What yeah, we did we did anything from your yeah? Perfect we don't know anything going on really quick. Oh no stuff number one. I proposed so now I'm engaged so sumo wrestling loved it sumo wrestling

I see sumo wrestled congrats by the way. Yeah, that's amazing. No one said congrats you guys Well, I was actually amazed by the rings actually pretty very rarely my maze or a dude's ring right now when he announced fucking Don't touch you But we did like we fought with sumo wrestlers we went to the Brothel, what is it not the brothel? Why?

Because you just got engaged. It's... Okay, you don't want to accept the culture? Fine. No, I know, that's fine. That's fine. Racist. But we did... We got like a little card placard to put in front of who's the racist at this point. Yeah, we just move it. It's like, oh, here goes Eli making the voice again. Just guess who. But we did... We should all get one. We did the drifting school. So we drifted with professional drifters. I learned how to drift. Was the drift king there? Yeah.

Oh fuck, why can't I remember the Drift King's name? He invented drifting from Japan. I'm not sure. So embarrassing that he did that, isn't he? I wonder if you know. Yeah, that song. We did play that though. Race car to you.

We did uh god what else we do we did Oh, we ate fugu that was terrifying the most super poisonous. Oh, yeah, we were no

No, the fugu fish. No. Yeah, I got you. But the chef there was like, we were like, how long have you, does it take you to like get certified and stuff like that? And he was like, 15. And we're like, oh, so like you've been doing this for 15 years. That's crazy. He's like, no, 50.

He's been working on one fish for 50 years. That's Japanese culture, though. That is Japanese culture. And normally I don't eat fish, but we were doing it for the video, and I looked at this really old Japanese man, this professional chef, and I'm like, there's no way I'm about to look this man in the eye and tell him I'm not going to eat this. He'd kill you. So I ate that. I ate that fugu. I pictured this old man. He's like,

No, he was... Give him the racist card. Then he like tosses the fish. It just like falls into his like perfectly cut...

I feel like there's going to be a part where everyone gets too old, you know? And there's going to be a tourist there being like, look how long he's been doing it. And then that'll be the day where he's like, I don't remember the moves. And then he's like, and you die. It was the milky eye. No, it's the milky eye. He's just cutting the wrong thing. He's like, the feces are done. His thumb's gone. You bite it, you die. He's just sitting here like...

Whose fish is this? Whose fish is this? Where is my Metamucil? I'm going to stick with not doing the accent myself.

- I like everyone's line. - Oh, yeah. - It's so different. - Sure. - Like, and their writer does a really good Japanese accent. - Oh, he's supposed to, as part of the job. - I love it. - We went to like this one island that was an hour flight out of Japan. It had only like 4,500 people that lived there, and there was like a haunted, what is it, resort that used to be there. And we just walked.

walked in there at night time which is technically legal. Why is there a haunted place there? So what it is is that the Hiroshima? Is that what you're saying? Is that what you're saying? No,

No, but it's a... That might be haunted. They made a... So it was a gigantic, uh... I am not from this country. I'm a Canadian. I don't know politics. I'm Canadian! You were still involved in World War II, motherfucker! I don't know! I...

It was it was really fun We did a lot of wacky scenarios and ate a bunch of weird shit was it haunted though Yeah, it was you like do you feel the heart than this though? There was there was a lot of like different stuff Where the most like weirdest thing is that like we walked into a room that was like it was the door was bar like barricaded so we like

Unbarricaded it. You broke in? No, we unbarricaded it. So we did in Iraq a lot. We unbarricaded doors. A couple 12 gauge slows. Yeah. What was really weird is that like... That's funny, that's why the hotel's hot. War crimes. Oh, fuck.

But me and Josh walked in and like, because we've heard like a couple sounds, you know, when things move, we were like, it's old, whatever. But me and Josh walked in there and at the exact same time we could have saw or we saw like something like run past on the ground, like crawling. Oh, fuck that. And then it went into the wall.

And it was just gone. And you can see it in the footage because the video's up. Both me and Josh at the same time looked at the same spot and screamed because we saw it. So we were like, I don't want to be here. But there was also that extra level of fear where it was like, heaven forbid, we're technically not supposed to be there. And the only police that are on that island...

Like, we're at their mercy. So, like, they could take all of our footage, take everything, delete it all, and then...

I'm going to arrest you. Yeah. What are you laughing about? I just pictured the little scary Japanese girl ghost. She's like waiting to scare you. And she's like, white people. Like, white people. And scurries off into the wall and disappears like you terrified her instead. It was like reverse scare. The ghost was just hanging out there to scare some Japanese people. White people terrify her though. We did the toilet ghost lore. And that was funny. It's in my brain. I'm dumb.

I fucking hate your brain so much.

We should change the name from unsubscribe to don't cancel. Bro, we just like, we just like cancelled like, oh my god, we had so many titles, we're like, we're getting cancelled, part 3? Yeah, part 18. Sometimes I feel like your guys' job is to like, we all like run towards the cancelling ledge as fast as we can, then you guys hit the brakes perfectly, and then the guests try to stop, and you're like, good job! And then you hit them on the back, and they go, they teeter the line, it's just like, hi guests, good.

Have fun. That's why we feed you alcohol. I appreciate that. I was drinking when I was recording my audio book. There's a whole hidden chapter in the audio book of me reading out the list of the 1950s most racial slurs in the hidden chapter. Wait, there's a racial slur from the 1950s? Tons of them.

Wait, like normal English words or like ones that were considered bad? I don't like that Eli latched onto this. Yeah, because I saw the joke you were making. I was making a joke and then he made it serious and that makes it weird and I don't like it anymore. No, no, I'm with you. We can cut that out. So where do I find this? We're going to put the hidden secret thing in this podcast right now. Remember Wes Barker. That was meant to be silly and funny and totally obviously a joke. And Eli was like, how many can I learn? Eli said magic spells, so we'll call that one.

My name's Matt Franco David Blaine

What it's really like to be a magician. Oh yeah, what's trick two? What?

Asshole piece of garbage. Thank you. Well oh the slingshot I've been shooting that all podcast I know but we haven't talked about the fucking slingshot that batty we all went to boy mode second on it cuz Chris's is first Yeah, just yeah Chris Ramsey is a brand called first so I went with second cuz second second to none obviously to none

It's a card slingshot. I'm gonna hit the camera. Good. Oh yeah. Oh! God! That was a great shot. Damn. Batty, you almost hit the fucking camera. That was really good. You took out the tripod. That was the first time Batty was actually accurate. That fucking thing! I...

Impressive self. I love the fact that he was like, Teehee, this is fun. And then his whole body went, bam. Because I saw it hit the fucking... I know. That was your most accurate hit ever. It's satisfying. I'll tell you, I made a special promo code for Unsubscribe. Did you? Yeah. So for the card slingshots and the book, 20% off for anyone who uses the promo code Unsubscribe.

We're going to switch it to come 20. That's so kind of you. I'm going to buy a sleaze shop. Definitely do. So unsubscribe or come 20. Switch it to come 20 because people will use that. You got it. Come 20 it is. Heyo. How do you spell come? C-U-M? C-U-M. And then 20, do you write the number? No, just T-T-T. T-T-T.

You have to come 20 times and then type in whatever you want. 20 times? Yes, sir. So for Outer Regs, it's the men's 20. I may not be able to use that promo code for like three days. You got to give me some time. So on sub, fucking Outer Regs is the men's grooming stuff. And I'm part owner of that. And we put come 20 as a joke.

You fuck heads out there. That's all the discount code they The owners meetings it's like and come 20 is in first place naturally Hey fucking works, that's all it does a good shot by the way though awesome dude shake hands oh

See dude magic it's good magic dude Why is this so warm where was this I'm pregnant? I disappeared But if you have me the rest those cards you're not gonna put a card in my ass Because I've never shown you a magic trick

I don't have the whole deck here so it's hard to do. Is it gonna be one of those cool ones? I hate kids. That's a magic trick! That's what I just wanted to say and he puts the cards down. So fucking much. So I only have one trick I do for kids. Okay. But I'll show you what it is.

But it's stupid because I hate kids, but I have to do it because all my friends have kids. I have to ask a few questions. What's your favorite color? Blue. Nice choice, buddy. What's your favorite dinosaur? I'm going to go Velociraptor. Velociraptor, that's a good choice, man. I'm so good at this. And how old are you? Enough.

They don't really say that that's all right. Okay, so normally if they answer me on 20 27 27 Velociraptor blue 27 they answer this career. It's only a football call out normally I can Guess what card they would pick okay? I guess I only do this for kids, but only if they answer those three things correctly I can guess what card they would name if they were to name a card okay, so name a card out loud Oh, God seven hearts don't hearts oh

But it's just for the kids. You just do this one just for the kids. Please cut to my reaction when you're pulling it out because I can see it this time. That's why I was like, I just turned it left because I just read fuck you on the card. I'm mad. This is why I don't like magicians because I know you. I know Chris. I love that. I watch so many magic trick bullshits because I enjoy that. I really do.

And finally being like in person with magic, I'm always like, I'm going to look for the thing. I'm going to see. And I can't see a goddamn thing. Well, there's not even a trick with that one. Where did you have the, was it just there? Where was the fuck you card? Oh yeah, it was sitting in there the whole time. I left it in that pack just to do that. Like I just left it in there. Did you? Are you fucking with me? No, I left it in there, yeah.

Going deep, son. Bing bong. I'm upset. I don't get it. It's all subtle stuff. Like here, I'll show you. I can probably show you one more here with a full deck of cards. How deep are your pockets? Do you just always have a pack of cards in your pockets? This is cool. Dude, those are actually legal weapons in his hands. This is kind of cool. So, um...

Daddy, say a card out loud for real this time. Eight of clubs. Eight of clubs, okay. See, now I'm holding the deck like this, you can see on here every deck has a little picture on the back. This one has the ace of spades. You said eight of clubs. I was sort of holding it like this when I asked you because sometimes you can subtly hint to people and they sort of subconsciously... Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm stupid though. Ace of spades or whatever. But no, no, so you said eight of clubs, which is fine. It doesn't always work, but I'll show you... I don't want to get in all the fucking cards out of here. If those were all eight of clubs, I'm going to kill you. We'll burn you on the stake. It won't be like that. No. But you can see...

We have all the cards here. I mean, you won't be able to see on the thing, but what I'm going to get you to do in a second, right? I see the icon. Is I'm going to get you to touch the back of a card. I don't know if this is going to work. We'll try it. I got this. Can we get the good angle? All right, we'll try it anyways. So can you... Here, just touch the back.

Okay, so you touch the back of one of these cards. I'm trying to speak to the mic at the same time. That one. This one here? Okay. Now, it's all good. We're good. So like, so can you remember the card? Yep. Remember the card? Yeah. Remember the card? Yeah. Remember the card? Uh-huh. Okay. So that one there, you just touch the back of it. Yep. You didn't say Ace of Spades earlier like I wanted to. You said Eight of Clubs. You didn't touch Eight of Clubs, obviously, because it was just a demonstration. So it's going to be... So it's going to be the...

Ten of hearts. You stopped it, right? That's crazy, because I think you were influenced a bit by that. I think you- can you turn over the box here? Because you were influenced a little bit by that, I think. What the fuck?! No! No! No! Because the box, the picture on the box, the picture on the box is always- influences you, like I said before. Getcha. The influence. Wizardry! Getcha.

This is where we hard cut to him being burnt at a stake. No, we're gonna hang the witch. Eli, we'll hang the witch, not burn it. Oh my god. Pretty good, right? That's insane. Yeah. This is why I was like, Grant has to come to this. The magic show. This always brings like... My YouTube buddy.

It's so far we always have a like a youtuber that comes and fucking hangs out with yeah the magician right now Because of his accents, right? Did you make me pick the ten of diamonds it's all in the book it's really not that was on the book He has his own book he's a fucking grim war back true yeah, I

Ah, dude. What else did I plant around here? I can't remember. No, but... I was joking. When you plant, when you plant. It's the ace. It's pretty cool, right? Yeah. To the 10. So that means... Okay, so... Okay. So my buddy... So I was forced to pick the 10 of hearts. Okay. Daddy, stop. No, no. Let's work it out. You had one stroke already. We don't need a second. What's wrong? We already know this, right? We've established this for 600 years. But let's... I'll tell you straight up. Only 600 years?

600 years? That's all that's, yeah, before that it was flat. Now it's round. Oh, my bad, my bad, my bad. So then I was like, all right, this is what happens to these people. They're so crazy. Whoever talks the most sounds the craziest. So,

So I'm like, let him talk. And let's not be like, change our mind. We'll change our mind. Let's be like, tell us why you think this. Encourage it. We let him talk. And you see me and Chris like, dude, he makes these whack-ass arguments. And he's talking about this. And he's just doing math wrong, talking about compression, blah, blah, blah, all this bullshit. I throw out a couple questions like, no, no, no. And he's like batting them down with his whack-ass science. And then at one point, Chris and I just sort of sit there and listen to each other, listen to him go off. And then he starts going on. He has like all these...

Visuals ready to go. He's pulling them up and he's brought a PowerPoint. Oh, yeah He's like he's like look at this. He's like you see this right here What's that zoom in flip this and he like zooms in on a logo on a shirt on NASA flip it upside down cut this part out What does that look like like I don't know what you're doing He's like doing Photoshop in real time. I really I don't know he's like looks like uterus like okay cool I don't understand so you just do this dick dick. This is a dick. That's a penis Here's a dick and he starts going on this dick rant for like eight minutes for like what is happening? He's like here's a dick. There's dick dicks everywhere and we're like

I'm like, hey man, can we get back to flat earth? And he's like, yeah, but the billionaires, man, it's all a big sex game to them. And we're like, what is happening? And then he just like, for like 20 minutes, I'm not joking, he kind of convinced us, not convinced us, but like... That was the wrong statement? He was making...

Valid arguments? He was making somewhat valid, like if you did math wrong, you'd understand. You'd be like, this is kind of good. But then he goes off the fucking deep end. He starts going insane. He's like, yeah, the earth's flat, but it's not just like a disk in space. It's bigger than this. They just have us fenced off, and behind this is like the billionaires have free energy, and it's bliss and utopia and all this stuff. It was the most enjoyable 90 minutes I've ever gone through.

And Chris was like really loving it. For me, I was actually, I say enjoyable. Utopia. But like, no, no, for the last 45 minutes, I was fucking irate because I couldn't hold it. I was just like started going insane back in the sky because it was absolutely, and then finally we stopped the podcast and Chris and I just got to like debrief each other. But like Chris was very good at listening to him, partly because I think Chris maybe believed a little bit more than I did. But like,

But like I got fucking insane. But anyways, if you have a chance to interview a flat earther, fucking take it. It will be tiresome and hard and stressful. But like, you know, like every day. Yeah, exactly. So yes, like like talking to Eli every day. Yeah, same thing. It's like

Talking to Eli, flat earthers, going to war. It's in that order. You don't know anything about it. You've only been to war. You've never talked to yourself. You've never talked to a flat earther. You've got one more level to go. You blew my fucking mind. Bottom of the barrel. Check it out.

Dude, that's crazy. Oh, man. We've never had, like, a conspiracy theory. It's hard, man. Because as you said, like, there's no winning the argument. My favorite doc is that one where they tried to prove the Earth is flat. And they're like, we'll use this laser. And at a certain distance, we'll go this far. And if the world's curved, it will be higher. But we know it's not. So it will hit right where we're holding it. Raise it up.

It's not hitting. Go up higher. Go up higher. Oh, it's there. And then it just ends right there. I brought it up to this guy. And I brought that up to this guy. And this guy goes like, oh, yeah, they cut it too early. They cut it too early. It turns out there's something in the way blocking it. Oh, my God. And he's like, we only had to raise it up like seven or eight feet. And he's like, and at that distance, we technically should have had to raise it 25 feet or whatever.

And he's like, so no, there's something in the way blocking it. It's hard to explain right now without showing you, but like, no, totally disproved. They just cut it off too early in the documentary. I'm like, oh, cool. The Flat Earther documentary, they cut it off too early to not prove their own point. And he's like, no, it's a total hit piece.

False flag. I was like, okay. False flag. Yeah, I know. False flag. False flags. False flags. Steel beams melt. Oh, yeah. Every now and then he would drop some of his other weird shit he believes. There's never one. If they believe in one. Oh, yeah. Like a flat earther, if he was like, yeah, I believe in flat earth. Guys, have you read about the new trigonometry data coming out? Yeah. Oh, okay.

Okay, I'm really... The math. I love Neil deGrasse Tyson. I just don't believe in him. You're like, best way to stump these fools I found. And that's why I started. I'm like, I can't beat him with my videos and his videos. He'll just be like, yours are fake, mine are real. Okay. My math, his math. Your math's wrong, my math's right. That's not how math works, but okay. So then I was like, all right, how about this? I'm like, give me a motive. Why...

Why would they be trying to convince us that it's fucking round? And he doesn't have a compelling motive. His motive sounds like billionaires are living in Valhalla and they keep us here for no apparent reason. It's fucking crazy, right? It's like all weird shit. I don't know. I don't even know. Is Valhalla good or bad? I don't know, man.

This is a viking? Yeah, I don't know. That's always the thing. It's like, why the fuck would, of all things, we're like, the earth is flat. It's like, that's what we're trying to control. I'm a fucking idiot, man. I am dumb as shit. Well, flat around, this guy's world doesn't change at all. You know what I mean? Like, bro, you live in your basement. You do an interview every day trying to convince people it's fucking flat. I'm like, you've never even been to fucking Australia.

Right? Like, you've never even seen all of this- Okay, I'll give you- Fuck it. Everything you said is right. We live in a little fucking tiny disc, they're all fenced us in, cool. You've never even been to all of it. It's not like they're leaving you in a room. 8x8. Right? Like, you've never even been to all this disc. You'll never see all this disc. All of this disc! So go fuck yourself. What do you care? They've never flown. Here's my thing, also. Yeah! Get on a plane! I circumnavigate the-

I went last month. I went fucking. Then I went Toronto to Ireland to London to Japan to Vancouver back to Toronto. Fuck you. I went all the way around. I saw all of it. I kept my eyes open. I looked out the window. I counted. You see the curvature. Do they think like every pilot's a conspiracy? I got very stressed. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That's the thing. They do. They're like.

They all look like you when you meet a flat earth. They look like a flat earther. Yeah, I'm just like a magic gathering tournament, which Like when you go into I gotta say that bad This guy was my MTG community. I love you. I love magic when I go to play It's sometimes y'all need to wear deodorant So my favorite part was homeboy walking batty remember when we were playing that long game and

Walk out to go to the restroom. There's just an awkward dude walking towards me with I don't know what's right here And he's doing this I was like is he praying and as I got closer I noticed this was vomit, and he's carrying it so well not towards the bathroom though cuz I'm going towards back. She's like I'm okay And he's just cupping it was like oh

His earth is flat dude We were just that dream hack in Dallas there was a magic gathering section It was fucking awesome It did had a bit a bit of a smell to it that the rest of the convention didn't have We went to on Sunday the last day. We went to an anime convention and

It was in a smaller area, but it was like four stories tall. It was really high. The top floor was the gaming, like the PC games, and they had all the Dance Dance Revolution, the arcade, like the anime arcade game stuff. The smell when you got off the escalator onto that floor was like a visible... Eli, seven, eight times worse than Magic Gathering. It was worse than a gym locker room.

But that was my favorite text from you because I was like, how's the convention? And Batty was like, big anime titties. I was like, that's a good sign. That was the only text I got. I was like, oh, that's a dope ass text. Sounds like a great call. I was like, enjoy it, bud. That was the first floor. The second floor and third floor were like meeting rooms and panels. The fourth floor was just like,

A lot of like... The dungeon. Bro, it was... Reverse dungeon. You flew too close to the sun, man. Like, we left, and as we were leaving, we're walking outside, and then we heard some girls explaining the con to her friend. She's like, just don't go to the top floor. It's real stinky up there. Bro, it was the worst smell I... Man, now I miss this. It was because they had a bunch of like the movement games, like DDR and all that.

So even worse you had all the nerds wet in and then going and sitting at PCs and like playing fucking League of Legends and shit and in Rose why didn't why why be why be gross and sweaty though and gross Have you ever been to an empty magic together? Go to adventure. It's I don't I don't know how to be cool like that. I want to know you know regular magic We'll teach you real

Yeah, no, that's what I mean. Like, I literally, I tried to get into that and ended up doing fucking card tricks. I'm like, I want to learn magic. You can never play Magic the Gatherer with this motherfucker. He top deck every best card in the game. You can cheat like a motherfucker. Dude, it's so fucked up. People don't understand. Even, even, uh, I got hired to do a, uh,

scene for the show Riverdale or whatever and they wanted a guy to be like a blackjack dealer but he's a crooked dealer and he's doing like all these like gambling deals and whatever and I was like okay so they hired me to do it and I'm doing all these like sneaky deals and they're like yeah we can't see it on camera I'm like yeah no I know I'm like and they're like well I'm like well I don't know what you want me to do like this is how what do you think you can see it like I don't know that's the point like and visually pull it out for

And you get to see the director and all the people all at once just be like, oh yeah, we're fucking idiots. The script they wrote on paper makes no sense because the camera will not see this. So I have to do these obnoxiously flashy fucking showing the camera like, oh, wait. It's like flipping the cards like,

Spinning in there you catch it slide it up top you gotta get that You got the cinematic show you make me play fucking any magic gathering card. I will fuck you for sure And then I will cheat at the cards Wonder what I find magical since we were talking about the flatter things They are they always talk about the same things like we're fenced in oh, I have never ever by white ever

Had one flat earther on any forum in real life anywhere show me where the fences yeah Where's the fence show me a photo you fucking idiots? Where's the fence on the supposedly this grand fence on the edge of the world? Yeah, it's like the was game of thrones brother. Just go yeah. Yeah the game of thrones What was that the wall the walk literally the wall the wall, but that's what you can remember that out Yeah, they think it's just a bit because that was one of the as being Mexican. Oh

Well that's one of the that was one of the arguments because at first people were like well if it's a fence freaking why if it doors is flat Why isn't all of our water just spilling into space and they're like well? There's a wall and I'm like who who built this wall And why is no one seen it and also I get back to they gave us so much earth then I couldn't care less. Yeah

I've been to 31 countries. I will never get to the other 170 or wherever the fuck there is. You're not going to get to 200 countries in your life. You're never going to get there. And most of the ones I've been to, I've touched down and run around for three days. I haven't even seen all of it. You'll never see all the Earth. So they gave us way too much space to play in. I don't give a fuck. We dig real deep a lot. How does that work? Oh, dude. Wait. Do you think they think the Earth is flat because they have smooth brains? What?

There we go. No, think. No, think. Ape strong together. Devolve to monkey. We start walking just like this again.

This guy was fucking ready for us, actually, I got to say. I'm going to go back to this guy real quick. He was like, because Chris and I had recently just met Chris Hadfield. He's a fucking Canadian icon, astronaut, been in space so much time. I like you'll say his name. You will not give the flat earther any credit.

Google a flat earther. Who cares? They're all the same. So this guy, so he's like, we like mentioned, like we met Chris Hadfield and we asked him about living in space and like, he didn't lie to us. We could tell. Yeah. And then, and then he's like, and he hits, cause we're doing this on zoom. Right. And he hits this button and he's fucking those like glasses come down. The cool guy, he's like, cool story, bro. And then he's like, he's like, and then he's like this and like a fucking montage. Like,

To his point, pretty fucking dope. He's like, here's photos of Chris Hatfield. And they start coming in and he's like, this one's green screen, look at the wire. He knew we were going to say it and he, as soon as we said it, he hit a button and just went on this nine minute tirade of just like, see the wire, see the wire, this is that green screen. Oh, pen goes through his face. He's looking in the wrong place. And I'm not going to lie, that was part of the podcast. I'm like, we should not have mentioned Chris Hatfield. Yeah.

I'm like, let's get back to math. These are pretty good shows. Look at this imaginary equation you've got going on. Chris Hacker was definitely in a pool on this one. You started doubting. He has a point. Yeah, that is a pretty good video. Wait, wait, wait. Let him cook. He's like, explain this one. I'm like, well, they're your videos, dude. I don't know what you did. He's like, no, they're NASA videos. I'm like, all right. All right, fine.

I'm gonna go like travel anywhere and be happy go fuck yourself. Yeah, we go on the mountain real quick Not no The moon and the Sun are local like they just rotate around they're not very big they're not that high up They're like they're like you did that spot literally that's my foot around like they're not I

They're like, you know, tens of thousands of feet in the air, but they're not that high. Of course. Yeah, and it's all bullshit, dude. We're fucking fools, all of us, and this guy knows the truth. The title's going to be Wes Barker's A Flat Earther for this episode. It's all in the book. It's all in the book, I tell you. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I know... Just have him on. Flat Earth Dave. I'll shut him out. Fuck it. Flat Earth...

You guys already guessed his name. Holy shit. Oh, fuck.

Not doctor. Anything. Just flattered. F.E.D., man. He lives in his parents' fucking basement. No, he's got over 100,000 subs. He has an app that he runs. It has 100,000 people on it. They pay $3 a month to be on it. The guy probably makes half a mil a year flat earthing it. So I don't even know if he believes it. Do you think he walks in and he's like, thank you, thank you. He's like, fuck it.

He kicks off his robe, gets on his private jet, flies to wherever. Flies around the globe and just laughs. Look at the curvature. One direction, same location. But his wife walked in the background one time, flat titties. I'm like, I get it. Circles aren't real. I'm like, she's pretty hot still. We don't do mounds here. I believe that. Yeah, for sure. Circumferences don't appeal to me.

This is amazing. Oh, yeah. Diablo 4. Who's playing it real quick? Let's go. Me and Batty are. I'm almost to a Paragon level. I'm 47, 48, so I'm almost to you. Wait, you're 47? Yeah. And you're 52? And moving up. I'm going to stick there. And then what game are you playing right now? Fucking Flat Earth. I've got to learn this shit, man. Flat Earth. Playing with my cards. Sorry. It's like King of Spades. Whoa.

You're getting good at this. That's freaking me out. That's freaking me out. That's freaking me out, everybody. Oh! Ding! It was a Diablo 4 is the only game I've been playing in a long time.

Let me see these. Let me see these. Don't. Don't. Talk about Diablo 4. No, I just... Talk about Diablo 4. Eat your protein bar. Eat your protein bar. Fucking weirdo just eating on the podcast. Yeah. Whatever do that. He's ate on the... That's why I was looking at him. I know. I was making a joke. Blame him. I... Batty, blame him better. Just make a joke, Batty. Where's the Mexican holy water? Mexican holy water? Tequila? We got that right here. Puka. Puka, puka, puka. Puka.

No, Diablo 4 is like, I have, we talked about it quickly because we have to maintain being a gaming podcast. Yeah, yeah, of course. You guys are already listening to the gaming podcast?

Yeah, we're always top one two and three in the world of gaming which is nuts We've never once talked about gaming in the four times of it on the fuck. Yeah, you guys speak about three times three times I Mean it's possible sometimes. I listen you guys at home, and I'm like I'm there And I say things you know I taught my wife's like stop. We wish you were there oh

But yeah, we're technically a gaming podcast. What was the other? Anime. And we're in the top five in the world in anime podcasts now. Which is nuts. That was a new one. That was a new one. We recently got put into that top five category. That didn't make any sense to me, but I was like, Demon Slayer, Anime Titties, Hentai, let's go. Let's go. We're done. We don't need to talk about anime for the rest of the podcast. That's great. Check the box for us. Big ass anime titties. We're talking about Japan. Japan.

Yeah, anime. We hit our quota. That's anime, right? Yeah, we're good. 100% quota. And then you get Diablo, you just touch base, you're like, fucking great game. If you haven't played it, go get it. It's the first time I'm actually motivated to play it. I get excited going home. Yesterday. What's your level? 40. We got a sorcerer, a barbarian, and a necromancer. Yeah. And a wizard. Are you...

See, I'm saying we got a sexy-ass party right there. We got a sexy... Wes is like, I don't know what they're talking about. I'm going to have to buy a computer. Once I get this $3,000 appearance fee, I'm buying a computer. I'm going to start gaming right now. Today.

I'm going to go to Blockbuster, read Diablo 4. Diablo 4. Read Diablo 4. I'm going to read that Diablo 4. It means fine chicken in Spanish. Oh, boy. If you haven't done gaming...

- No, I don't. I never have. I don't know how to, I never knew how to start. And then once I sort of had the understanding of what it was, I'm like, I'm too old to do this, I felt like. - He was older than you. - I know, but he's always been cooler. I don't know, I was literally hoping that the words would come to me and then they failed me. - You know what, you're pretty cool. - I have enough things to do, I guess.

I'm not a loser. What if I like it? No, I'm afraid to like it because then what am I going to squeeze in all my drinking? You can drink while gaming. As a matter of fact, it's great. I think I don't know. I just don't know where to start. I didn't do a single drug until I was 31. Not a single anything. Was that a rough year for you? No.

It's been great ever since. My family would say it's been sad and bad, but I think it's been wonderful. I've tried them all. That's all that matters. I was just like, I've gone so fucking far, and now what am I going to do? In the last six years, I've been trying all the drugs. Maybe I'll try gaming too now. I don't know. I don't know. I had such a narrow... Grew up on a farm. We didn't even have a fucking TV. Drink some weed, play some beach games. Nice. Let's go. Both grew up on farms.

So then when you got out of the farm, you're like, I'm gonna fucking see what the world has to offer. And I'll be like, farm life, but now I pay for it. Like, I didn't know what else to do. Yeah. And then we all joined the military. Yeah.

See, I should have done that. No, you're a veteran, right? You came in with your army uniform on. I was like, thank you for your service. He's stolen valor right here. We'll just get you in trouble in America. They just cancel you instantly. No, that's my new Netflix special out there. It's called Stolen Valor. It's a magician show. Yeah. No, it's going to go super viral. He talks about his book. You should buy it. Bruce Barker, Abracadumass. Yeah. Come 20. Get 20% off. Come 20 times. Send me the video. I'll give you 100% off. Uh,

Uhhh... Shoulda said that. Yeah, send it to Batty. Somebody should hold you to that. Well, you know what? That is magical and I think you, as far as magician goes, you are the ace of hearts in this group. In fact, check your pocket. My pocket? Yeah. My pocket. Which one? Oh!

This motherfucker just put pocket in me with the ace of goddamn hearts! That was really good, I didn't see that coming at all. Check your butthole. Then you would have been more impressed. You'd be like, it's my dick! That's not until after. One time, one time...

One time I was doing a corporate event where you like just get hired to walk around and do bullshit And so I was walking around doing all and I'm feeling pretty good I've been lighting people up pretty good, and then I get this one group do this card trick grab the card this your card miss She's like no I look at it sure enough. It's not her card Yeah, and I'm like take this and put it under your pillow and tomorrow. It'll change into your card She's like thanks. She walks away. I grab her husband and

find her card I'm like you know what to do you know what to do and I was like I don't think anything of it we had a laugh walks away I do the rest of the night next day I wake up to an email like fucking this long like bro she's freaking out right now like she thinks that you came into her house last night and I was like dude you tell her if you want like don't ruin your marriage on this it was the greatest magic trick I never got to see the greatest magic trick I never watched dude I bet she was he broke into her house you're changing the

He was in our place of love! He violated us! And we're still in it! Fuck Wes Barker! You know that man just like inside dying laughing by the side of the bed? He's like, oh, did I make a mistake? Yeah, no, he ripped his pants open and everything. He's like, I think he got me too. He lied, he lied right to her. Oh shit! I gotta tell you. He pulls out your book and goes, we gotta know how we did it.

Speaking of happily married people, I said I would tell the story on the podcast because somebody sent me the greatest DM I've ever received of my life. Justin, you're wonderful. He sent me a message. I read it while we were eating dinner. It said, theoretically, if someone were to have their ex-wife's Pokemon collection from their late 90s and sent it to a P.O. box you had access to, would you be interested in it?

This motherfucker has his ex-wife's Pokemon card collection and was like, "Yo, you want this shit?" She stole my Magic cards when we got a divorce. Fuck her. I'm like, "You good, bro?" Yeah, I want them, but also is everything okay?

Why not just burn it, film it, and send it to her? He's been hanging onto these cards for five years. Dude, like... He loves her still. Let her go, bro! Let her go. That's what he's doing. He has to let him go. I'm helping him move on. I'm a therapist. Send him to Batty. We'll take him over the ice wall. Oh, shit.

Were you around with the one person that just got those Pokemon cards from the 90s? They were like first, first gen. It was on a fucking email or he found them on Facebook marketplace. He just DM'd him. He's like, hey, are these cards still available? Yeah. You want them?

They're first-gen, like, all fucking sleeve perfect. Like, all of them. Like, first-gen. He's like, how much? He's like, oh, I'm just giving them away. I just need them out of my house. Oh, yeah. He's like, yeah, if you hold on to them, I'll be there today. Yeah, a lot of people are emailing me about it. Yeah, ignore them. I'll pay you if they offer money, though. He went and got them. It was fucking, they had, like, Charizards, everything in there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What a shitty person. Yeah. Should have paid them real money.

Yeah, even I don't know I would go I'd just go pick them up - that's the thing though Okay, so as an expert on this topic, I would say none of its worth fucking dog ass It's this unless you get shit graded. You're never gonna find that five hundred thousand million dollar card. It does that doesn't exist. Uh-huh

unless it's what's called like pack fresh. I mean, you would have to open the pack, sleeve it, put it away safely, and then mail that shit up to get upgraded because a nine is not worth $500,000. A nine, which is like the next step down from like a perfect 10, is worth...

Maybe $20,000, $50,000, which don't get me wrong, it's still a lot of money. But to even get a 9 or a 10 is so unrealistic from like an old collection. Realistically, you're looking at like a 5 or a 7, which is like 100 bucks. There's only 5 holo Charizards. Wrong. You're 1,000% wrong. Level 10? Or 10 rating. There's only like 5. You're wrong. You're so 100%. You are so unbelievably wrong. There are hundreds of them that are rated 10s.

What was it? Which one? Because there's two. First edition Shadowless Charizard. Yeah, but who are the two classifications? Gary Vee and...

Logan Paul are the only ones with a majority of... No, they have Pikachu Illustrators, which there's only 20 of in the world. Or like 26 of or 19 of. There's another Charizards that they have. There's only rated by that company because Logan Paul popped. Maybe BCG, which it doesn't matter. BCGs are the 10 rated. I'll look up a PSA. I had a friend hand me his...

He has a nine point whatever of a, it's a Superman comic, one of one, whatever. - Oh, dude, what? - He paid $1.4 million for it and he handed it to me and I was holding it. - It's a rich friend. - Oh yeah, he's my billionaire friend. - Oh, okay. - And I was looking at it and I'm being like,

I don't understand why this is... I was like, cool. And he's like, do you want a photo with it? I'm like, okay, because I can tell you want to take a photo with it. I was like, thank you. I'm like, this is neat, but I don't understand what I'm looking at. 124 perfect tens. 124, that's way more than five. What do you say to that, Eli? That's why I didn't say it. That's why I'm telling you. People think there's like this such shortage. Like there's a lot more than people expect. I mean, 120 is still pretty. But only five of them have E. coli. Yeah. God damn.

There are at this point great, there's five like major grading companies. Yeah, I

And that's just one that has 124. Sure, there may only be five of another company, but that doesn't mean it's any more rare. It just means nobody sends it to that company because they're not worth shit with that label. People look for cards graded by certain companies, and that's where they're worth more. Like, Magic cards graded really aren't worth as much. Sure, you can find some, like the Black Lotus is worth $500,000, but the majority of Magic cards are worth more raw. $20,000 to $40,000 and...

And it's only specific cards. And then they vary on if they're playable or not. Speaking of. Sounds like cryptocurrency to me. Well, the fucking. Trading cards are the original NFT. Right. Okay. That's all it is. That makes sense, actually. Magic the Gathering is releasing a Lord of the Rings set, and they are doing one. One. See.

singular card, a one of one, a gay Lord of the Rings, gay Lord of the Rings. Yeah. It's happy. It dances. It's, it's Mary. So magic's been doing this thing where they really serialized cards. Like it will say like one out of 500 or one out of center, one of 900 or whatever. They're doing a one of one card that is going to be the one ring from like the Lord of the Rings series. And they're just supposed to be just dropping it into circulation.

And as of right now, there's a million dollar bounty on the card. It doesn't come out until June 23rd. That's when the set releases. Holy shit. How do you release a card like that into circulation without people knowing? Where exactly the region, the distributor, the carrier, the store it's going to. There's...

I think MTG will know or Wizards of the Coast will know exactly. The distributor will know. The factory where it was printed will know. Wizards actually might go grab it and then do it. How do you secretly do that? Realistically, we can't do secret. Any person is going to be compromised, right? This is a card that is already. It's not even released yet. There are hundreds of $100,000 bounties on it.

Oh my gosh. Like, multiple people offering hundreds of thousand dollars. And there's one company already offering a million dollars for a card that isn't even out yet. There is zero... There's no way... And it is made from this. It is worth a million... Imagine that. Just because they're printing a single fucking magic card that is special and serialized. That has a gold stamp on it. Yeah. That says one of one. One million. I guarantee that gets to...

Dude, in a decade, that's going to be like a 10 to 20. It's going to go to Joe and Wizard of the Coast's son. Yep. Yeah, right. Think of like the, we talked about this before, the Monopoly game for McDonald's for the longest time. Yep. Where all of the winners for like fucking seven years were the friends of somebody who worked at a factory because he gave them the pieces. That was a whole shindig. Like, Pokemon cards is going through a huge issue where people that have been working at factories have been stealing hits or have been taking special sheets of certain cards. Yep.

How do you... Like, this car is going to exist in a vacuum, and a fucking vaulted car is going to drive to a factory. They're going to put it in a pack. That pack is going to be randomized with other packs. No. We need AI, man. Like, how do you realistically do that? I hope a child gets it at five years old and shits on it. And he walks away. Like...

And it's an unboxing video of it. Eli, why does the child have to be autistic? Why does the child have to be autistic, Eli? Because my son has influenced me in all aspects of life. True. I picture all children as autistic.

I'm not gonna miss that one! That's that one! Thank you for watching the E-Locker Podcast! Eli, don't flip myself by the strings, of course, your narrator. And Wes Barker, please, he's got a new book out, African Dumbass. Go check it out where? WesBarker.shop Use code COME20 or unsubscribe, both save you a little bit of money. Also, where can we find your narrator? Your narrator on YouTube or the boys? Perfect. Boys.store. Thank you very much, we'll see you on Patreon for the after show, otherwise go away.

We'll be right back.