109 - BOXING, BOOZE & BANTER ft. Harley Morenstein & Caleb Francis 01:49:13

Come on to the sleeping bag. Each guest has to slide in. Did you see that picture of how that, it was like four dads, like in sleeping bags. I saw this video on a website once. Their own pizzas. They had their own like pizzas on their bellies and they were lying down with pillows and they were watching like TV together and someone was like, my husband having a sleepover with his friends. I saw that. I was like, that's good shit right there. Dude.

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I mean, think about it. Sleepovers don't happen. Dude, every time I hang out with my friends I grew up with, we do sleepovers. Like when they were here for 10 days, we all slept in my apartment. There were two on my couch, one was on an inflatable mattress, and that was how we slept every night. Like just so we could hang out and goof around all night. You guys were farting. Oh, yeah. You're like, oh, it's time for bed. No, no, no.

It's racially ambiguous and batty.

That guy's fucking ridiculous and we don't know Best not to ask yourself why But my friend you've arrived Welcome to Unsubscribe Every time I have sleepovers like that with my buddies it's cause everyone's on coke and no one wants to leave. I can't drive. No man, you can't drive. You're sleeping on the couch. Okay. I'm not leaving until the baggie's done anyways. I got another baggie!

The same laughter. Everything I'm saying is part of an interactive art experience and isn't actually true. Oh, okay. Sure. Yeah, exactly. 100%. Can I interact with the baggie too? Yeah, we're acting, right? This is fake. Make method acting. Are we going to pop it? Are you ready?

First one. Why do you say that? It says that every time. I hate it. Welcome to the Unsubscribed Podcast. As always, we have myself, Betty Streams, my beautiful co-host, Eli DoubleTap. We have...

Oh, the beautiful, the strong, the powerful, the very tall, the very wide, Caleb Francis, and of course, Harley. Welcome back, beautiful. I can't believe you guys brought me back here. Finally. I'm so happy about that. I'm so excited. Just good vibes. Yeah. Good vibes. Dude, the second I seen your tall ass as we walked up to Stoneworks, I was so happy. I was like, ah. Look at that long ass Jew.

Exactly my words. That long. I was like, you like chill. We spoke about this. Oh man, we had a talk. Stop it. I also love sitting next to you. It's like so big in here. I feel like we're fucking tag team champions right now. Nobody hugs like Caleb hugs. Imagine that a wrestling team. You guys would be, what would be your wrestling team name? See, uh,

That's a good question. Yeah, that's a good one. We've got to break this down. Men's Warehouse is the big and tall section. We have big and tall. Big and tall.

That's easy. Nice. Big and tall. We have to start wrestling now just because that name is so good. Just because that was so perfect. You're big and tall. You guys just outro. You're walking out in your suits. Yeah. Big and tall suits. Yeah, big and tall suits. You strip them off when you get in the ring. It's like two legs walking in the ring. Oh, yeah. Oh, we got the suspenders. Oh, yeah. Shirts are hat buttoned.

- But you guys undress each other when you get in the ring. - I take the jacket off of him and I like tuck it nice and we hang it on the edge of the ring and then he does it to me, we roll our sleeves up. - If we were like sitting on a plane together and he wanted his jacket off, that's how we'd have to do it. - We'd have to, yeah. - I'll be on a plane and I'll like reach out and be like, can you just pull my sleeve? - Eli, do you know this episode was brought to you by Manscaped? Eli? - Looks like the carpet does match the drapes.

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Shave your balls while you save your balls. Support a good cause and go over to manscaped.com and use code unsub to get 20% off plus free shipping. Homies trim each other's balls. Eli, did you know one guy every hour, every day is diagnosed with testicular cancer? That's ball cancer. I did not know that. That's terrifying. This is a reminder for you and all you men out there.

Check your golden nuggets. Do you know how to check for ball cancer? Well, that's easy. When you're in that shower, get that water nice and warm. Give those little nuts a little play with. Who doesn't like playing with the balls? This guy. I like it. And if it hurts, go see a doctor. Or have your buddy do it. Together, we save balls.

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to their longtime partner, the Testicular Cancer Society, to help those impacted by testicular cancer. Get 20% off and free shipping when using code UNSUB at manscaped.com. I repeat, go to manscaped.com and use code UNSUB to get 20% off and free shipping. Make sure you go out there and tell your buddies to go check their balls or check them for them. Check your boys and check your boys' boys. Check your boys' boys. Check your boys.

- That's the new saying. It's just check your boys' boys. - I'm stuck. - Yeah, that happened. - Has that ever happened to you?

I can fall out of my clothes most of the time. I'm like, I need to get out of my jacket. You just jump in the air. You can just do a car wheel. Do you ever go on a plane? I hate it, no matter what. Yeah, me too. Me too. And if it's not business class, it's just like... That's the only... I'll walk in and you must feel this too. I instantly feel bad for...

For whoever it is, when I get to that and I'm starting to walk, I know everyone on the plane is like, please not me. I look like I stink. The same, man. I'm like, man, I pride myself with smelling good. You're still really good today. Thank you. I pride myself with that. And I'm like, man, I'm like a big dude. And I'm like hairy. So they're probably like, man, don't let the big one stink bag. Yeah.

Sit next to me for the next two hours. I'm like, I've got my backpack that's full and I'm whacking people trying to like get through, dude. You're trying to sit small too. Yeah, man. I have my arms together like this as long as I can. Yeah, I'm like, I didn't even want the armrest. You could have them. I don't want to touch you. I always get the window seat. Because I used to have to fly Southwest all the time. They don't have a first class. Yeah, yeah. So there's no bigger seats. Yeah. So I'd always try to get the window seat. And you're doing the thing where you're like...

- No, this is- - I'm fine, dude. - Because he's here, so I forgot that you're also a large person. - Yeah. - If I'm sitting down in the plane and I see Eli walk down my aisle, I'm like, I want that little fucking snap right fucking next to me. - When I sit down, I'm like, oh my God, so much room. - I kick my feet out like this. I do some flutter kicks. - You like crawl into a ball like a cat? - I will say-

They're like, what? You're a circle on the seat, just like a little pet. I'm super lucky my girlfriend's five feet tall, the tiniest little thing. She loves the middle seat because she doesn't even, the armrests are too wide for her. So I got that extra buffer room and she's still got room on her left so whoever's over there doesn't fucking matter. I always take the window.

And sometimes people are like, oh, do you want the aisle to like to trade with me? Cause they think I'm so big. I want to like, I don't know. Hang on. Let me just hang into the cart. No, I get bashed by that cart, man. I love the window. Cause I like, have you ever been woken up by the cart going by and cracking your fucking knee? It hits me in my shoulder. Yeah. Oh,

I always get warned. I was like, watch yourself. No, they don't give a shit, man. What airline is this? Big stinky bastard. I'm going to whack his ass. Make his purpose three times in a row. Oh, sorry. Throw coffee on you. Oh, what the hell?

It's like multiple flights, man, because usually I hardly ever book my flights because if I'm flying, it's usually for something with a company or something. So I'm just always like, please, aisle seat. If you can, aisle seat. But sometimes it's like, oh, it's last minute. You're in the middle. In the back of the plane. In the middle, in the back of the plane, dude. Or like a lot of the last few ones, I was aisle. But I don't know. Dude, just some planes, they still have that full steel seat, right?

That has the like steel walls. I hate that. Oh, yep. It's not like that. No. It's just like a box. Dude. Sticking your ass in that box. Yeah, dude. It's like my ass cheeks are literally like sideways on it. I'm just like in so much pain the whole time. Like this fucking sucks. I didn't think about it until you said it. You're sitting like this. Yeah. You're doing the. You're acting like you're thinking of something. You're at a museum looking at art.

You're trying to find a place to put your head. Dude, yeah. I hate it. I like the window because I like to control.

Like if you're on the aisle, you are at the mercy of the two people when they want to piss and when they want to come back. And the worst is like when you're sleeping, they're like, excuse me. And then you're like, oh, okay. And then you have that weird halfway standing thing waiting for them to come back from their piss to sit down. And then you get comfy and then the other person's like, me now. I hate when I have drinks because then it's like the coffee and everything. And you're like, I don't know.

You got your little station set up. I wouldn't allow myself to have that. When they bring me a drink, I chug it. I'm like, I can't have this here because it's already... It's just on my legs crooked already. You're like a cup of ice in your hand the whole time. It's laying on my legs. I'm like, most of them... Like, I have to...

It's crooked on my legs anyway, so I can't just leave it there. I have to hold it or else it's gonna fall. So I just chug it and then I like smash my like drink can into the little holder there. Yeah, it's that little fold in front of you. Yeah, until they come back. You guys have a travel show. It's just doing normal shit because it's big and tall. And it sucks. Yeah. It's called a nightmare, man. It's a traveling vlog. People are like, ooh, yeah, get to fly. I'm like, fucking shit. Wait, wait, so if it's big and tall, can we be big and small? Yeah.

Yeah. Kind of big, kind of small. Kind of big, kind of small. You guys, everyone, all the airplane journeys, you're like, this sucks. I'm like, man, this is great. This is actually nice. I'm having a wonderful time. It feels like first class.

I like the idea of us doing something that we do things that are for normal sized people. Yeah. And even if it's just like going and get like a regular popcorn at the movie theater, I'm like, that's not enough popcorn. That's not a regular amount. We just did the pizza place. We're like, do I look like I eat two slices of pizza? We could go go-karting right now and look like DK and Bowser. Yeah.

- Yeah, man, mine was like, you guys were zipping past me when we last did it. I was like, yeah, mine can't hardly handle my day. - Your bike can't go that fast, guys. - Mine can't keep up with this shit. - There's an E.O. kid who weighs 14 pounds. Governor on that thing's cranked. Oh my God. - I hate travel. I like being in the place though. Like I despise travel so much.

But I like being in the place. However, these days with like Nintendo switch or like steam deck, I think about, I was like, how the fuck did I ever do like a 10 hour drive with my family when I was eight is the most boring fucking thing. We looked outside. Yeah. Watched. I, you would count fucking telephone. You do this with the telephone lines. I would do my finger and I have a

Oh my God. I did the running man too. Like I would just have him on the, like the windowsill and I had him like running. If there was like a mountain, I'd make him jump. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's the cars. You got to jump over the cars quick and shit. Yeah. For 10 hours is all I did in the back of a station wagon with wood paneling, no seatbelts because my parents didn't.

believe in those they removed them the only reason my parents put on seatbelts now like boomers is because the fucking car tells them to it doesn't stop beeping exactly otherwise my parents would never buckle up

And I always thought about that too, the amount of times I needed someone to play I Spy with me in the car. Like I needed that. Like I was like, play I Spy with me. And like, they don't want to. Now kids these days, you know, my sister with her can be like, you want to play I Spy? He's like, shut the fuck up and give me the iPod. I'm watching YouTube, mom. I'm watching YouTube and playing Switch. Can you fuck off?

Lisa? Fuck you, Lisa. Mom, why can't you love me? I played football back in the day and Canadian football doesn't count. And I had like, you know, friends would come over, teammates, and they were blown away when I would call my mom Heather. I'd be like, Heather, and they'd be like, fuck. What did you say?

They would never in a million years, 80% of my team was Haitian and there's no shot they were ever gonna call their mom by their first name without getting hit. - Yeah, yeah. - Like fell to chancla. - That chancla would fucking. Yeah, I don't know how to say chancla in Creole, but yeah. Yeah, there's that. Whatever, the footwear, whatever it may be, for sure gonna smash them with it. - Well, it's crazy you see how different cultures are. I know my Japanese buddy, he's traditional. He's from Japan, came for college and then went back

And I remember asking him, it's like, if you just came up to your dad and just hugged him and said, I love you, what would you do? He'd be like, oh, he would not like that. No, no, no, this is not the Japanese culture. I was like, okay. My grandfather hates that.

when I'll kiss him on the cheek and be like, "Love you." - Okay, that could have gone two ways. - I thought you were going, "Hey." - I'm like, "The Japanese." - That's what I was waiting for. - The timeline-wise, I wouldn't be so, I could imagine the, there's probably like half a dozen people that I'm sure my grandfather has the wrong idea about based on just history from when he was born. But anyways, yeah, when I kiss him on the cheek, I'm like, "I love you."

I know he fucking hates it. He thinks, he thinks, he thinks I'm literally gay for doing that. Like I'm a gay man because I kissed him on the cheek. He goes like, love you, grandpa. He's like, fuck. Yeah. Also, I'm like, I'm 37. I don't have kids. I'm not married. So he's for sure like fucking knew it. Yeah, I bet you do love me. And you brain kiss me, don't you? At six foot eight, Harley skips away. He's like, love you, grandpa. Yeah.

The thought of Harley skipping. I know. Wait, don't disrespect skipping. I think the ROI on efficiency and distance traveled and energy input, like skipping is a phenomenal method of travel that we don't use often enough.

You ever skip somewhere? What is the line when you start giggling while you're skipping? Don't do that. You can't even look like me and skip. It's scary, dude. Somebody, your size comes skipping towards me. I got attack on Titan vibes. Yeah. Attack on Titan. And I'm like laughing too. Attack on Titan. Yeah.

But skipping's good. I'm telling you, like, use it to get something. If you have to go to your house from here, skip. 100% I would skip. I'm going to just keep a straight face. Oh, of course. It looks like you're having fun by your face. Just blank face and skipping. Yeah, you should. Yeah, I think skipping gets a bad rap, actually, because it's like...

I don't know. People think it's a bad rap. Yeah, because they're like, oh, they think it's frolicking and it's really not fucking frolicking. Yeah, no one likes frolicking. No, no. Frolicking's nice too, man. Yeah. Yeah.

Frolicking is skipping with no destination. Wait, you guys don't frolic. Holy shit, man. Frolicking is skipping with no destination. Yeah, it's just for the pure enjoyment. That's when you can giggle. That's when you can skip and you can giggle. You better be in a glade alone. If you find a field of flowers and you do not frolic,

You're going to hell. You're missing out, dude. You look so disappointed. Like, it's such a missed opportunity, like, for just, like, your mental well-being. I picture you going home, and you're like, you should have followed. Damn it. Damn it. Yeah, there's plenty of times that I, like, am driving, and I see, like, a really nice fit. I'm like, oh. Over. You're driving. Oh, I can't.

I'm just like stop and I'm just gonna run through it for a minute, ma'am I could be frolicking I'll like just stop for something like that was great turn off the side of my grandfathers are like Fucking do it. Grandpa. Why are you here? Grandpa? Why are you in Texas? I'm not frolicking in Texas There's a couple things actually when I the further south I go in the USA and this is just so this is crazy Canadian

you know, nonsense. It's not actually like this. But if I'm behind the, if I'm in a car behind someone at a red light and the light turns green, I'm not going to honk them.

And if they sit there for the whole green light, that's cool. I'm not going to honk them. And that applies here. That applies in Florida. I'm just not going to... I don't look at people in their cars. I don't honk at them in their cars. I'm a safe, defensive driver. But, like, I'm not doing anything. We had the camera. We were filming this whole thing. And, like, this, like...

in front of us, like all black tinted windows and like black, and he had the camera up. I was like, I don't think we should film that. That guy like could be looking in his rear view. We have a camera up filming his car. I feel like that's not the vibe. He just rented the fucking Yukon. I just had his Texas, so I'm like, this dude might have like the fucking rear view and know how to do the gunshot, trick shot in the back. He's gonna pull out his revolver from his cowboy hat. I'm literally...

- Everything. - Your vehicle flips. - Any cartoon thing that you can imagine about Texas, like as a Canadian, I'm like, oh, this for sure happens. We saw it last time I was here, there was like seven boars on the street. - Oh yeah. - Like seven boars, like a pack, a family, whatever. And they're like fucking cruising down the street, like by houses. - The deli meat section of the H-E-B. - Yeah. - That's what it's called when the boars move across. It's the deli section.

If there were boars on the street, could you take out your gun and shoot at it on the street? I don't think you should shoot in the city. Especially in the cities. If you're in a country, you could. Really? Next to the road? What can you do if there's boars on your street? You cannot be on the road. It can't be so many yards. I know Vermont has a law like that too, but you have to be off the road so many yards before you shoot. Otherwise, it's road hunting. What can you do if...

If you had like a seven boars. Eli. Eli. What? What? What? What? Could you not hear me with those earbuds in? No.

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- Noise isolation! - Custom gel tips for the most perfect, comfortable in-ear fit. - Ooh. - Crystal clear call quality and eight hours of play time. Go to buyraycon.com/unsub. Get 15% off your Raycon order today. - You're laying in your front lawn, like what could you do? You got all these guns and you can't. - I mean, most neighbors aren't gonna see because the neighbors would be pissed they're here. A lot of cul-de-sacs and HOAs. - Hypothetically, don't get caught.

Well, a lot of HOAs in different little residential neighborhoods, like when they have their deer problem with access, we have some friends that would have access problem in their gated communities. And the HOA is just like, yeah, just go shoot them. Really? Oh, wow. That's crazy. Cause I thought it was like super illegal. Like for like places like where we're at right now, like it for you to like, if there were like boars out there, I don't think you can shoot them. My HOA is like, don't water the lawn. Uh,

on Wednesdays from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. If you eat your trash bins out for more than a day, we're going to find you. But the deer, yeah, shoot them in the middle of the head. Yeah, like it's just going through people's windows. I got a job. Thank you. What I noticed about growing up and having my own home is that there are some things that,

It's like a, like a dis from like an old school man's man's point of view. There are certain things that are like disrespectful that you don't fuck with. Yeah. And like one of them was like, I brought a guy's, he left it at the end of his driveway for, you know, like two days. So I,

brought it up to where it goes. Like I just had like, you know, I hooked it up and he was like, did you touch my garbage can? I was like, I did it. I was just like, don't ever do that. I'll move my garbage can. I was like, oh yeah, for sure. I didn't, it didn't even bother me. I thought maybe you would get a ticket or he's like, I don't want to hear none of it. That's why I'm like, okay.

So there's like some great, all part of it. People would text, people would have been like, thank you. Yeah. I saw your neighbor was like, better mow your lawn or I'm going to mow it for you. The raccoons are very smart in, uh,

and they're like, they rolled in 12. They're fucking crazy. They'll stack each other up on each other's shoulders and do some crazy shit. Get them movies rated R. Yeah. Yeah, bro. Get to Guardians, please. Kill somebody out back. Take their ID. Their face. Jesus.

- Jesus Christ. - You guys are really underestimating me. You make the jokes. I've literally opened up my back door, just the blinds to see eight raccoons and they look at me like, "Close the fucking blinds." - Busy! - Don't look out here. - And I also got savage ones too. We had epic meals. Sometimes half the epic meal, it will be compromised for whatever reason. And these raccoons are like, "Bro, this is the spa. "This is the spa." - You're in the hangout house.

So like I always thought these records are smart and they they would I put a brick on top of my garbage can Cuz they'll go and they're like open it up and they'll Yeah, and then they started like just they I don't know how they did it they later really move like to cinder blocks off the garbage The neighbor

came over and he was like can i show you something i was like yeah and i went outside he's like check this out and he took my garbage can what he had done was he drilled a hole through it and like put like a little like a loop and latch thing and he's like i did this on my garbage can i saw you were doing the cinder block that's not gonna work i took your garbage can and i modified your garbage can like that and i was like oh thank you so much that's great i really appreciate it he was like yeah

And I was like, yeah, I love that you do that. He's like, okay. And in my head, I was like, oh, I think he thought this was like, like I'm fucking handling your bullshit. You're a bitch now. I'm the man of your house. And instead I was like, do you like weed? You were like, thank you.

- Thank you bro. - I was like, do you like weed? He was like, yeah. And I was like, I don't smoke weed and I had this weed. I'm like, do you want this weed for doing that? I did have weed on me. And he was like, okay. And he took it and it was just like, I went inside and I was like, oh, wait a second. I think he thought he was like swerving on my shit. He was like big dick in the head. I was like, I got a baby duck anyways, I don't care, here's weed. And like, he like modified my guard. It was pretty sick. It was cool.

Yeah. I think it was really weird. That guy used to go, he would, he had four motorcycles and he would turn them all on at like 7 a.m. and like rev them for like 25 minutes. I'm not even joking. I swear that sounds like a made up stupid bit. He literally turned on all four motorcycles, one after the other and like rev them for like 10 minutes each.

and then left to go teach in one of the motorcycles. But I always thought it was interesting. I'm like, damn, he's a fucking big dick out there. He's got, I got four motorcycles. I'll fucking modify your garbage can and I smoked your weed. Don't touch my fucking garbage can. I would never touch his garbage can. Not again. There's like traps on it. It was like next level. He's been modifying his garbage can. You're going to go to move and it's going to fucking...

I can't outsmart the pack of raccoons that have been fucking with him his whole life. I'm like coming in at season five here of the battle of the garbage can. He was double checking if the raccoons are the ones that didn't move the garbage can. He's like, did you move my garbage can? He's like, yeah. He's like, fuck, thought I caught him. That was a trap for the raccoons. There's another trap. Damn it. He's just real pissed about everything. Oh, man. Dude.

Fucking boxing match. You trained up. Holy shit. That was the big thing. And then you put on the best intro out of anyone in that fight. Outro two. The ring when I got punched. You thought my intro was good. It's so funny. I think about it like doing the boxing thing the first time. I was boxing a Minecraft YouTuber gamer, YouTuber game grumps.

- Fucking Aaron. - Yeah, and I was like- - I hope Aaron now is, he's a Minecraft YouTuber. - That's it. - Get fucked Aaron. - Aaron from Game Grumps is a Minecraft YouTuber. - It just sounds better when I say that to the people. I was like terrified going into that 'cause I was like,

What if this fucking nerd, sorry Aaron, you're a cool guy. He is actually like him. I would love him. He is one of us. That's one of those like guests. I'd be like, oh my God, Aaron, I'm going to be out for eight hours. I know, a tis of fingers comes out. And I was doing something weird with my hat. So I was like, how did you know?

I was terrified boxing Aaron from Game Grumps crazy sentence because I was like What is this guy punches me and I get knocked out because I've never fought before and I'm just gonna be like oh so I got knocked out by a YouTube gamer and

And then I didn't believe in it. Everyone was like, oh yeah, you're gonna fuck him up. And I was like, he's working for you. You working for him, you fucking bitch? You fucking lying to me? Yeah, that's all I thought. Everyone's a liar. Everyone's a YouTuber. They're all liars. So I wasn't about it. And then the match, it was all good. And I didn't think they were gonna find me another opponent. But when they were like, oh, John Hennigan from WWE superstar, former WWE superstar. Jacked as fuck, the opposite of Aaron Hansen. Literally one of the most athletic wrestlers

heavyweights that have ever been in wrestling you don't really get heavyweights in wrestling that are flipping off you know someone's not who's like oh yeah i like uh lifting weights uh wrestling for the wwe and uh my hobby is parkour like it's just like a crazy combination you're like a gladiator ninja and i uh and so when the the challenge came through that he would he wanted to box me at the time i was uh

I had done a lot of ketamine. I completely disassociated. I was a 7,000-year-old space baby from an alternate dimension. And when the challenge came through, I was like, he's just a 7,000-year-old space baby from an alternate dimension too. I was like, I'll box. Mm.

Yes. Anyway, so then after like, you know, not partying and training and doing, leading up to the fight, even the intro, you know, I was all stoic sitting there for the intro, but realistically I was like, whoa, I was like, people are liking the intro. It's crazy. And I see John down there.

And I'm like walking down. I'm like, I can't believe I'm going to punch this guy in the face. He's going to punch me in the face. A lot. This is like...

such a silly thing for me to, this whole thing is so fucking silly. I'm not a person that ever watched UFC. Like I would watch boxing here and there, but like I never consumed combat sports or anything. Nothing about me is the type of guy to get into a boxing match and do it. I cannot stress that enough. Like I'd be playing fucking war zone and I'd be like, guys, I literally gonna have to punch a man and he's gonna punch me too. It was like nerve wracking. It's called boxing, Harley. Yeah, but...

You say boxing, you're using the language against me. You mean punching each other in the face. No, sorry. Let's talk about what it really is. And I was scared. I was scared.

I was actually like scared, like nervous, like going in. And it's such a crazy thing to say because it's like my second. But I actually boxed terribly that day. I watch it back and I was like, there were so many mistakes that I made. I think my mind was consumed a lot, whatever. But as Mike Tyson says, when you get, everyone has a fucking plan until you get punched in the fucking face. It's such a cliche thing, but it's totally true. But when I thought about it, getting, like if I thought, like what's the worst thing that could happen? Is I get in there and like,

get knocked out or like get punched out of the ring or like, like that'd be like the worst thing that could happen, you know, other than dying. - Or shitting yourself.

Getting punched and then shitting yourself. He's naughty. My biggest fear. People are like, what are you scared of? I was like, I have two big fears. One, that I trip while walking into the ring. And two, that I shit. Oh no, I did both. That there's shit running down my leg. I did both. It happened. I'm so embarrassed. Yeah. So when I got punched out of the ring...

I was like, I shit myself? Yeah, check your ass. Thank God. That would have been embarrassing. Yeah, that would have sucked. You'd crawl into the ring again. I would just leave. I'd go to the locker room. No, no, no, no, no. When that happened and the match was done, I sat down and I thought about it and I was like, oh, for a lot of people, I think this is like a really...

humiliating concept. Some people who never get in the ring or never do fighting or just perhaps younger, perhaps if I had more ego, like the idea of getting beat up is so like...

- Humiliating. - That's like, literally. - Yeah. - And like, I just didn't have that anymore. I don't have that part of me that was like, I was just like, "I did that, that's crazy." And so I didn't have that, but I know that some people had that because one, when you win your fight, like the phone does ring a lot more.

But when you lose, some people, I don't know if they're like, they want to give you space with whatever the fuck weird shit you're dealing with. Or maybe they just like, they can't even look at you. You got fucking beat up in a fight, you bitch, by him? Johnny Nitro? Yeah. My test to you, I think I was like, but that outro and intro though. Summer's around the corner. Guess how I'm getting jacked, Batty? How? Fit bod. Bad.

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M-E slash unsubscribe. Good job, Eli. You can spell. I was meeting a supportive friend. I texted you that night. All right. You know what was great? Give me a good call. Nico. Nico hit me up and he was like, tell me what you were thinking when you went in the ring. Tell me what you were thinking after. What are you thinking right now? And I was like, well, let me spark this joint up and I'll tell you all about that. I'm going to go down this road because I'll walk. But.

But I thought about like just the whole thing, the whole boxing thing. So crazy. And it was just such a weird experience. And then like I get offers for other boxing matches and I'm just like, it's like weird. This is part of my life now. Someone's like, are you going to bought, would you want to box this guy? And I'm like,

send over the offer. And I'm still like, what? Send over the offer? I'm one and one and on no professional level. I have to shit. I'm sitting on the bowl and I can't even get the shit to come out. You want to talk to me about who I'm boxing? I'm getting old. It's like weird. I should be focusing on like... Faber. It's so un-Faber-ish.

- He's right. - It's just an outlandish concept, the whole thing. - Oh, shit. - Fiber. - Fucking love you, Caleb. - I got out my fiber 100%. - You know what all this YouTuber boxes stuff reminds me of? Celebrity deathmatch. - Absolutely, yeah. - It's just like, you get to watch your favorite celebrities beat, kill each other, and now we're getting to watch some of our favorite YouTubers.

- I thought it was so funny when I started YouTube, it'd be like, oh, VidCon, we wanna meet our favorite YouTubers. Now people are like, we wanna see our YouTubers fight. - Fight, fight, fight. - Fight him. And so it like doubles as a meet and greet kind of.

but really they're just there to, to watch people fight. And I kind of, I like watching people that I didn't expect to be good at fighting or would never do that. That's fun. That's fascinating to me. Um, you get to see the skill level. Like we, you, you're the one that told me, you're like, Hey, watch this salty poppy guy. And I was like, Oh,

Oh, fuck. I was like, yeah, let's do... Wait, he's never fought? And you say he's never fought? Yeah, he said he never boxed before. I mean, he's just really talented. And that was my fear. I was like, what if you're going in there and it's...

Aaron from Game Grumps, the train killer. Yeah, Aaron doesn't know he is the next Mike Tyson. And that's like he has punching power. Because punching power is one thing where it's like you're born with punching power usually. Majority of the time, you are born just a hard-hitting motherfucker. You were about to be somebody's origin story. Big, tall. And then Aaron's like...

The day I saw John, like when he was like, I was going to box him. I like looking at his body and how just like juicy it is. And I was like, bro, you're fighting a Jew. You want to relax? You're fighting a Jewish YouTuber and you did all this? You're not fighting George Foreman, bro. You want to relax?

But there was no relax. Yeah. You look like a Rocky three. Yeah. He must die. But it was fun. And then you walk away. Still, it's hard getting in a ring. A lot of people don't realize that, that how nerve wracking it is hearing that, like even touching gloves, hearing the rules. And then you're like,

Fuck my life. As I said, my fights have all been a small, small, tiny thing. And I had no name to my name at that point. So at that level where you're just like, there's a whole bunch of people going to watch me get my ass.

Or maybe hopefully win, though. Well, even like it's a small things, too, that I knew going into it that he had an advantage with, which was also what made me comfortable. What I want to say with the whole Aaron thing was like I was scared of her. I wasn't scared of John because I was like, well, you know, if I lose, it's not a there's nothing here. It's just a whole ass experience, you know, but it was the boss in a video game that you're supposed to lose to. And you're like, man, I was supposed to lose that fight. Yeah. Like the first fight.

encountering like fucking yeah yeah you walk out and it's the night yeah sure I was like if I'm gonna cosplay as a boxer for a bit yeah then I think losing is part of that experience yeah and it's so it's so crazy because I haven't done anything athletic in forever so I'm

there's so much more gained from a loss than a win. Like I did the Aaron thing. And like, I was just like, yeah, okay. Beat up a gaming YouTube or whatever. But this one, I sit down and I watch it. I was like, why did my brain do that? Why was I, why was I always walking, uh,

to the left when I'm always normally walking to the right. Like, why did I go the wrong way? Why did I do this and that? And I'm trying to analyze it and I'm pulling things from it. Whereas the wind, you're just like, yeah, fuck, come on, bro. Whatever, I did great, yeah. Yeah, you're like, I'm just fucking beat off in my own belly button. So blow the straw. You're not losing your life. What did I do? What am I?

I'm not even a space baby. I'm not 7,000 years old. I'm a 7,000 year old space baby, but he's not. I tell people all the time, I'm always like, you should do boxing

And people are scared. I would never box. I'm like, hey, I mean, either, but I did because I thought the, and I'm sure people listening, there's gotta be some fuckers listening that are just in terrible shape. It was the best bang for buck in terms of time that I put in

and the effort I got out. So doing like three minute rounds, hitting a bag, I promise you in nine minutes, you will be sweating so much more than you would be if you went on an elliptical for 45 minutes. It's like fucked up. And if you commit to it and like you keep doing the, like the ROI on what you put in and what you got out of it was great. I was 75 pounds heavier when I took the first creator class. And I was like, oh, I'll box that.

game grump you know i'll fuck up i'll fight that game grump john tron i was like i'll fucking get him um and and i was 3 15 then and i just did what i always still do but i did boxing and i was able to get my card because i fucking hate cardio

But it makes it fun. It is the funniest cardio slash anaerobic exercises you can do. Because you're getting a cool skill, too. Like, you never use your arms. I don't know how to punch, you know? It's like a video game. You're like, oh, my God. Yeah, you guys know how to punch. I have knowing how to punch. So, like, even, like, throwing, like, a left...

He's like, what do you mean? When I played growing up and I threw punches, I never punched with my left. It was like, I only had one punch. It was the one that every YouTube boxer uses. That's all I had. And so it was just cool to be able to jab with your left or just the foot. Hey, Eli, how'd you sleep last night after drinking all that?

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Unsubscribe, unsubscribe and get 30% off of everything. - Work of it. It was cool. Anyways, you guys should box. Even if it's like with a bunch of middle-aged moms on a fucking Groupon or something, you should go do that. - Beat them up. - You will win. - Yeah. - True, you will win. - Would you box? - Yeah. - Sure. - Yeah? - My only, so I've fucked around with Eli and Matt Best and just had my ass beat by them before. That was fun.

He's never traditionally. He's not trained. So he was like, oh, I've gotten in bar fights. Literally, I've gotten in bar fights, but I've never boxed or done UFC or done anything other than whatever level one combatives in the army was, which is nothing.

And my only hesitation to any of that is my vision. I am so goddamn blind without glasses on. Like I lose, I see blur. Like you are, would be a blurry mess. I can no longer see your face. Cause sometimes it's almost like advantageous in a way. I don't know how blind you are, but like when you could kind of like, when you're like, when you're like looking at someone and you're not focusing and you're kind of just like,

That thousand mile stare. Yeah. You kind of like see when something's going to happen because you're doing that. Like, you know, we play a video game and you're like, oh, it's a sniper rifle. And you're lying there. You're like looking at nothing. Yeah. And then something moves like a pixel there. Like I saw that. Cause you were just blankets. Yeah. You were like blankets staring at the screen. But I can't see that pixel. Yeah. That's what I was going to say is I'm not sure how, how it is. Yeah. Yeah. It's real bad. Caleb. But like, I want to get LASIK. So hey, maybe. Starbucks in there. And then Caleb, you're fucking really good on the speed back.

Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I've done that. That's what I was talking about earlier. Like I did boxing in high school. I did like a few years of boxing in college. Middleware. Yeah. But no, like in high school, I got like,

270 is like what I weighed in high school, but I was just fat. I was just fat. And that's what made me, I was like, man, I need to lose weight. So I started boxing. And I just did like speed bag and heavy bag and just like a bunch of like random workouts and some cardio and stuff. And I lost like 80 pounds. I got down to like 190. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah. And I did that in like seven months. And then I just like kept boxing. I started doing boxing classes. Did like...

a few little boxing competitions that were like local but then in college like i just did it you know just for the cardio and like you know just to keep that up because i liked it but now i mean like i still do it i don't do heavy bag as often because like my elbows bother me a lot

that impact like just i've got like some bad tendonitis you threw my right arm yeah doing heavy bag much yeah it really bothers me so i barely ever do that but i do speed bag pretty regularly just for that technique and i can't even do speed bag yeah just i like it is such an awesome workout for like show i do it as like a finisher usually like on a day that i do shoulders or a day that i do like uh you know like chest and you're like you're an athlete though

You're an athlete. You guys will be able to know that because you get it. But to most people online, I'm just a big fat guy. See, but anyone that would call... A big fat guy that could throw me to the moon. Well, as I said, anyone that calls you that would look at... I played football growing up and I...

and I've been like smoked running a 40 from people that are built like you. - Oh yeah, that's good. People do not, like people are like constantly, like if I ever post anything working out, they're like, "Yeah, but can you run a quarter mile?" And I'm like, "Oh God." - You're like, "Yeah, faster than you too, buddy." - Yeah, faster than you. - In nine seconds. - I could run it faster than you while like holding

Like your father. The fireman carrier. So that's something I'm going to try and do here over the next few months. So I hardly ever film my cardio because it's boring. Nobody wants to watch me do rows or do sprints. Wait, you're telling me you do things off camera? Yeah.

Your entire life and everything you do isn't what you post? Yeah. I don't ever post that stuff. I do sprints pretty regularly. I do the rower. I found out. I was curious when I did the rower. I'll just try and do 500 yards as quick as I can between different sets.

and I've gotten it down to like a minute, like 22 seconds, something like that. And like cruising around like 50, 55 strokes. I looked up the world record. A thousand yards is like two minutes and 40 seconds. That's held by Eddie Hall's brother. And I was like, oh shit, I'm already on par to beat that at what I am now. I was like, so I think I'm going to like

just practice, get really good at it. And I'm going to try and beat the world record for row, uh, in the next couple of months. That's amazing. That way, that way, see, that way I can be like, Oh, I don't do cardio. Well, here's my Guinness world record doing a cardio related act and being the best at it. That's weird, huh?

That's weird that I weigh 320 pounds and am much more athletic than you, huh? That's really weird. It's one of those same things. This is just that chronically online, that terminally online personality. Nobody would say any of this to your... Imagine somebody in the bar becoming a... because you're fat.

- Yeah. - Nobody in their right mind would ever. - See like when I was 315 before the, like I was fat. All of you guys, you just would have wanted to push me over. You wanna push me over and like step on my tummy. You know? Yeah, this is like I played enough football with people that are fast runners,

Or can throw a football or could fucking you know do three-pointers or just Coordinated and if let and I'm not that I'm not like a coordinated athletic person I'm heavy But I don't have like a natural strength to me or something like I was you uploaded something like I think you were dead lifting the cable does like 800 pounds Yeah, my bones like ah

Oh, I gotta do a warm-up here's 400 My favorite thing though is Yeah, yeah, I don't I don't have Big hands at all. Yeah, I do I whenever I like when I was doing boxing at the reading account like this fist. Yeah, I

Yeah, you have time. Yes, we grab right here grab here grab this go around the inside here on the bottom there like that and just grab that Okay, yeah grab it both That's my weapon

There it is. It's pathetic. People have these hammers and you have like a ballpoint pen. Yeah. You had children's boxing gloves. People have like battle axes and I have a rapier. Well, you're getting like pressure points at that point, dude. You punch somebody in the eye. Yeah, the side of their head.

Yeah, what the fuck? The side of their head and stop blood flow. Like, their brain, dude. Oh, you turned off my fucking nerves, man. I can't, like, look in my eyes. Yeah, what the fuck is that? It's just a little baby claw. It's a little baby claw. And, like, I don't like that the knuckles, like, you can move them around. Yeah. I mean, I think that's, like, kind of with, well, I think that's, like, kind of with everybody. Like, most people, you can mush their hand a little bit. Yeah. They just have a fat face. Yeah. No. Well, that's an interesting looking hand, actually. Yeah.

You have like a lot of padding. This is real in here. So yeah, but look at all this padding. He has. Oh yeah. What is that pouch on the, on the left? What is that muscle? Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, that's muscle. And your hands are like kind of fucked up actually. Oh yeah. Like super fucked. I, and you can tell I was fought for a long time. Both my wrist lock into place from beating it.

Yeah

You guys gotta help me drink. Oh, man. Do you guys ever eye someone on YouTube and you're like, I'll box that fucker? You ever see anyone and you're like, let me get some of that guy? I never think about any of that. I really don't. I don't know of any that are my size, like our size. I can't think of any YouTubers that I'd be like, we probably weigh the same.

Yeah, it's not just like yours is 205 and or two 200 and up is a heavyweight. So me and Caleb are boxing. Yeah, I'd say they're like, it'd be really bad if they put me against somebody that was like 210. They would be that would be not Johnny Nitro. Yeah, he might be like, yeah, true. He just had to be like a really shredded guy for that for me to be like, Opti Greens 50 from first form baddie.

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I picture this like the soft spoken Caleb, but you're like, yay. And the second that bell rings, you turn into a grizzly. Like you're like, what is it? He's not even swinging. He's hugging him and eating him. Help, help. He throws you. He's dead. And he gives you the mic. You're like, well, I didn't mean to hurt him so bad. There's an arm and a leg. Yeah.

Is he alright though? That was fun, but is he okay? Caleb, you're going to prison, dude. You have to go to prison now. Damn it. You ate him. You bit him. You bit his throat off. I went to London and I watched Wings of Redemption box boogie. Oh, you watched that? Wait, boogie fought?

He's talking about trying to do another one any wings or a boogie no boogie city. Yeah, he's been talking about one box again Should do it. Oh you a boogie? No

But you don't want a body on you? You don't want a body in your life? You don't want to kill a YouTuber? Dude, I picture a straight-ass date side kill. That's the one you kill, Boogie. 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 9, 6, 8, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6

unfortunately, the motor, uh, he lost a lot of weight, but he's had the most interesting internet career. Yeah. And one of the most interesting over that decade long period of time of like the waves he went, I like boogie. I met, I was in, I was in our Arkansas and he, uh,

Hit me up. He was like, let's go. What did you just say? I burped. That was a growl. I thought you were just your grizzly bears coming out. You went, what did you say? Excuse me, what? That was just a little burp. That was just a little bit of burp. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, Z. Just burping a little bit. No big deal, man. A handful. I was in Arkansas in the

I hit a boogie and I was like, oh yeah, like, you know, like I'm in for a date. He was like, let's go grab some menino. I was like, cool. And I was wondering, I was like, what do they have in Arkansas? You know, like what's, what's it going to be? Yeah. And Applebee's. No, it was sushi. And like, I pulled up and I'm not going to like disrespect or anything, but I was like,

I don't eat the raw fish in Arkansas. I think the fried rice. It wasn't bad. It was good, actually. It was good. And hanging with Boogie was chill. And he's always been a great dude. And his story also has always been wild. I remember it was like he got his veneers, which is something I wanted to do for a while. I remember I went to my orthodontist. I was like, I want...

I want Steve Harvey veneer. And he was like, what? He was like, that's a bad veneer job. Why would you want that? And I was literally, everything I say will be way funnier if I had huge white teeth.

And he's like, you want to make a joke out of your mouth? And I was like, kind of, yeah. That's like an Instagram filter, the Steve Harvey smile. Yeah, I wanted that. Oh, God. I'm glad I didn't do it because now I see veneers like a mile away. It's a look in itself. Not just any veneers, just the bright white Steve Harvey ones. I wanted that. And he was like, you're an idiot. But yeah, so I boogie got the veneers. He did the, he had the operation to lose weight.

It was wild. I was like good for him also and I back it. But when he was like also like I'm bisexual, whatever.

I was like, I backed this also. And I was like, Francis is way more dynamic than I thought he was. He's not just about smashing Xboxes. You know what I mean? Flipping tables, playing Magic. My man! Also, I thumb some asses every now and then. Okay, shit. I was like, get it. And then now having this boxing thing to getting to...

First of all, two wings and boogie getting on a fucking plane to London at your size. We know what it's like. Yeah. Fucking big right there. And they went to go fight. And I love boogie, but I also, unfortunately I do consume a lot of wings content that wings probably doesn't sanction himself. I watched like a lot of like troll content, whatever. And he needed that W. Yeah.

But to see him fucking walk to the ring, rapping his intro and then get in there and like, like a fucking stud. He was like, not even looking at Boogie. He was like, baff, baff. And Boogie's, Boogie's getting hit and he's like looking at the ref like, this guy's punching me in the face. This guy's punching me in the face. And then they had to tape Boogie's shorts up, which I've also never seen in a boxing match. They had to come in and someone held up his shorts and someone came around and taped it like fucking football, like the pads. And,

That was wild. And yeah, it was a great fight. You know, Wings won and it was cool. And shout out to them for just doing it in general. Just getting involved in that. Having the balls. That was fun. That's...

- Yo, kudos for real. - And this was the preliminary fights before KSI's card even begins. And that happened and I was like, okay, I guess I should get out of here now. I can kind of head on out now. Well, Saul Pappy was boxed in that night also. And there was some, it was just, it was interesting being there 'cause it's UK. And so like when I was at Creator Clash, a lot of YouTubers that I recognize or things like that, these aren't like the YouTubers that I necessarily watch and the audience was skewed a bit younger.

There was so many 14-year-old boys wearing Gucci at the KSI fight. And it was just such a different vibe. But it was interesting because I'm like, fucking this era of YouTube is so fucking bizarre. I thought...

like slime and the fucking filling bathtubs up with bullshit was a weird era of YouTube. No, us fighting is probably the weirdest era. Like it's just so peculiar that it ever came to that. All you guys fight now. Fuck. It's turning into gladiators. It's just we're going back in time. We're all devolving slowly here. I don't even notice. I know who you could box actually. I saw this guy. His name's Arms. You know this guy?

He has no arms. Is it the Russian guy? No. Who's the Russian guy? I thought this guy. He's like a dude. Drago? He uses synthol and he like pumps it. Oh my God.

I almost boxed this guy. That's terrifying. He would say the same about you. You think? I don't know. I don't know, dude. That is a terrifying. I think too many. Yeah, I think he would just be like, oh, this big soft bitch. Oh, he trains too. Yeah, but so I watched his first fight. I watched his first fight. I'm pretty sure if you watched it also, you might see that you're off to a better start than he was.

- One thing I learned is that like, it is true. Like to maintain that type of muscle in the ring isn't necessarily advantageous. - No, you get winded. - I always know when I'm boxing more because my body leans out. Like right now I've been training a lot more and just fighting, hitting mitts.

Everything changes. Yeah. Well, when I was doing, even when I was at John, I was like 40 pounds lighter than I was with Aaron. And when I was watching the fight back, I was like, oh, I could have used those 40 pounds. Yeah. Oh yeah. I watched how much I was getting pushed and I was like, oh, I could have actually being 40 pounds heavier for every punch and every push he does is, you know, is more taxing on him. Even also like, you know, when you clinch people like when you get clinched, you're heavier, lie on top of them. Yeah. So like we clinched and I just dropped on him.

And it was like lying on a fire hydrant. And I'm like, oh yeah, he's a wrestler. He lifts people up like me. And he goes like that. You want to try to spin him? Try to spin him. And I'm just like cuddling on top of him. And I look back, I'm like, yeah, he was unaffected by that entirely. That's like Fury versus Deontay Wilder. That's how Fury did it. He was like, I just walk up.

When we grapple, just put weight on him. He did that for six rounds. It winded the fuck out of Deontay. So then just knocked him the fuck out after that. You just drain your opponent through if you're grabbing, hold them down what you're saying. And Deontay was 40 pounds lighter, 60 pounds lighter than Wilder at that moment. And

It's all used. He's like, man, I was just going to wind up doing that and then beat the shit out of him. And that's what he did. And it worked very effectively. And then he was like, Oh, my coat that I wore to the ring was too heavy. That's why I lost. Yeah. And then he lost. Yeah, he did the second fight. Third fight. I think how you handle loss is also important. Uh,

And like, I saw some people like, you know, I wouldn't say, but the way they lost was I was just like, oh, they did. They put up a good fight and they lost. I respect that. And then they were like, fucking cheap shots what got me. And I'm like, now I don't like your loss that you're saying that. Now I'm glad you lost.

So now that I've established that I lost and I'm comfortable with it, let me point out a couple of things that were pretty fucked up. First of all, every ring I've ever been in has like a foot and a half of space where the ropes are.

This one where the ropes ended, the ring practically ends. So when I fell and I was like going out of the ring, there was supposed to be ring there in my memory from the rings that I've been in. But instead there was computers and audio. And I was falling out and I was like, who put this shit here? I'm like falling and I'm like, hope I don't fall on Moist Critical and end him. And kill him. Imagine that's how he died. Hardly. Fell.

I fell on him. Yeah. Just a bug splash. Yeah.

Because Moist is a tiny, he's a little boy. He's a little boy. He's a small dude. He was at the ranch last year. I think it's so great when some people are like little dudes, but they're 10 feet tall. You know what I mean? And he's a guy like I was at his place and people will go up to him and talk to him. And it's not even like he's big timing. He's literally existing. He's holding like a baby kitten.

You know what I mean? There's like a 10-foot dildo behind him, towering over him. And people are like, hi. You know? And he's just like huge. Like, what's up? Yeah. You guys. He's like as tall as his waist is deep, even though, you know? And that was actually fun, was doing, after Creator Clash, there was like this gathering of creators. And it was at his like, the

G Fuel Complex. I'm not even joking. It was like a G Fuel compound with like, anyways, and all the creators there, I'm used to being at LA

So all the creators are like LA types. And then when you get LA extras, the people that are at every event you go to that are there and they don't have anything, they're not there for, they know someone who knows and they wanna, they actually, they're going to Disneyland tomorrow and they've been to Disneyland eight times this month. And you're just kind of like, how do they pay for their light? What is happening? But those people will be at all these events in LA. So when I was in Florida, you didn't get any of that. There was none of those people. Yeah.

You got like, it was a whole different vibe of person. And I kind of enjoyed that. It was actually like in Florida, as people coming up to me, they're like, yo, man, I love that you filmed that shit with Sam high. Those fucking G'd up, bro. And I was like, cool. Yeah. Thank you. Very different from like LA where they're like, LA is it?

How do you decide who you're going to film with? Don't you feel you have a responsibility? Who you platform? And it's a completely different vibe. And like, God bless everyone, you know? But like, it was just different. I'm not saying one's better than the other, but it's just a different vibe. And I enjoyed that. Kind of like last time I came here and linking up with the crew here was just like, oh, there's like another little like pocket of people that I don't think I would have ever interacted with like, you know, at the fucking...

party in Los Angeles. You know what I mean? If you were there for a minute, you're like, we got to get out. We got to get back to fucking, we got to get back to Texas. All this cocaine, not a single firearm. A lot of legal firearms. What's going on here?

I like just that interaction, the meeting with different creators. Because it's fascinating because you're like, oh, you're also a person that spent thousands of dollars on a camera, pointed it at yourself and said, like me, follow me. I'm going to play a game. I'm going to do this. I'm going to train for a body. You're going to watch this shit because it's,

available you know but it takes a certain type so I do like seeing my peers of all types you know and I always find it interesting when YouTubers get into dramas them shit's happening because I'm always like bro you're both fucking YouTubers shut up that's why it's like Caleb's or anyone like

You are you. We were talking about that earlier today. Freddy's, Nico's. It's like the OGs or some of the new people coming up in it, how real they are. Like you're one of my favorite humans. I'm like, just Caleb's a good dude. And I think it is how you were raised. Those are still your best friends. No.

I'm going to throw my hat in this one. I do. I love it more. I love it. But you know, it's funny you say that because even like some people you could look at and know, and I think all three of you

No one would look and be like, oh, that's a bad guy. Just looking at your face right off the bat, you wouldn't think that. You wouldn't be like, oh, that's a bad guy. But you look at our faces on a TV screen or a computer, piece of shit. I hate that baddie. Yeah, if you are posted up with the bisexual room lighting behind you on blast and you've got the fucking light to it, maybe they're like, this guy's weird. Yeah.

- The tattoos and Pornhub inspired shirt are weird now that the lights are on. - I look way better with the lights off, let's be real. - I don't think people look at me and they're like, oh, that's a bad guy. Or like, that's a weird guy, you know? But I've met people where I've been like, I don't want to be around this person, or someone rubs you the wrong way.

And I've met YouTubers that time. I'm not even going to say... They could even be prankster YouTubers. I fucking... I'm not even saying I met prankster YouTubers that rubbed me the wrong way, but it could be like someone who does prank videos on YouTube. I want to make one qualifying statement, actually. Yeah, I get that. I was actually... Earlier years, I was...

Pretty good friends with Vitaly. He was younger and I'd see him often. And he was, you know, he was a chill guy. And I hadn't spoken to him for years. Then he had that thing where he ran out and he beat up that random woman on the street. You know about that? Yeah, I saw that. Yeah, someone was like jogging on a street and he like ran out and beat her up. That's Frank.

Pranked you? You never said that. I'm pranking you. I'm pranking you. The prank is over. You're not

Yeah. Well, the only thing is because he never said it's just a prank. So then it was never a prank. If you had just said the words, it would have been a prank and it would have been fine. But he never said it's a prank. I think it's like, like, you know, and I don't know what type of shit he was going through. I hadn't spoken to him in a while before that. And he had, he,

He was like very fucked up on drugs. And how I know this is because... Seems like it. It's like being in a place where you're going to do like a ton of drugs is like that's one thing, you know, maybe you're going through... Being in a place where you do so much drugs that you ran out and beat up a stranger...

That's like, for the whole situation, it's all fucked up. It's a different level. And to not say that it was a prank. Yeah, and then on top of that, it's fucked up. And to not let her know that he was pranking her. I don't want to say this is the worst part, because the worst part is beating up the woman. Yeah. But what's also really, well, let me see. What sucks for him...

What sucks for him is that the police that responded were wearing body cams and they uploaded the footage of arresting him. And he's like in the video, like, ah, I don't know what happened. And they put him in this police van.

But the police van is like, like got a whole RGB situation set up. It's fucking weird. It's like flashing, like, like red and blue and like white. And it could be like the cop lights, but it's inside. It's in the van though. They put them in a van that's like flashing blue and red. And it's like inside the van looking for chat. I could just be like, I can't imagine being so fucked up that I beat up a woman. And then they put me in like a graphics card. Like,

But yeah, I wasn't referring to him. Although, yeah, that still illustrates my point. I've just met some people where I'm like, this is like him. Actually, he was very nice guy. Very nice, very generous, very hilarious. I hadn't hung out with him for a couple of years, so maybe I should have stayed in touch with him and he wouldn't have beat up. If I was there, I would have been like, no!

Don't go beat up that woman running outside. Let's go back to the couch and eat some chips. I'm not saying you were running out the front door to beat up the woman on the street. I'm not saying you were doing that. Oh, it was a prank? Make sure she knows. I'm not going to knock your hustle. Make sure she knows. Say prank. Say prank. Jesus. You're going to say prank? Here. Go again.

Say it. Say it. I'm just like, it's a prank. It's a prank. This is a prank. This is a prank. Just beating the double fist in her face.

Are you single? Yeah. You are? So what kind of girls go into your DMs that are like, you know? Do Caleb get some interesting? 100%. I'll tell you one thing. I knew this when I grew my beard out to a point that was just like huge. I remember that. A new type of girl started to hit me up. A whole different type of girl. And I just feel like the girl that was hitting me up

It was just like that type might be like the type that maybe like fancies you. It's... And like you would never believe it. Like I could never tell, like you guys will understand, but I could never tell normal people. Like they'd be like, no way. Like it's...

doing comedy like that you can anyone yeah like that's like I can look however and anyone is on the table like you never know who cause I am you know like I'm very not forward like I never like sliding girls DM's or anything like that Caleb's the only guy he's like I just wish a girl would stop sending me their titties

There's been plenty of times where I was like, gee, too much. Too much. Like, too much. But also, like, you're a funny, strong guy, tatted up. You've got your style. I'm only assuming. Great. Pink, I would assume. It's pink. Bright pink. You're right. They are blonde. Yeah.

I imagine it looks like how I remember my father's penis when we used to shower together when I was like six. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean? I'm like soaping up and the shit's right there. Dude, I've talked about this multiple times and people are like, no, that never happened to me. Dude, I can remember at that, because my dad was a coal miner and he worked like evening shift and he would come home. It was like, dude, just get ready. He would come home.

Drenched in coal dirt. Like, it just black from head to toe. But it'd be like around the time that it's time for me to go to bed, so we're doing father, son showers, and mom is washing me. But I can remember it was a little too long. It was like I was a little too old. Like, I was like... 13, 14. No, no, no.

anymore. It was like six, five or six and it was around the point where you become sentient. You become a sentient child. And then I can remember having my toys while she's washing me and me just being like,

with my toys and he's like washing and he's like scrubbing hard so it's like flapping everywhere because he's like trying to get all the like dirt and stuff off of him. Yeah, dude. I'm like trying to stay away but it's like a small shower and dude, I can just remember like everything is covered in cold dirt other than his bright pink tip. Fuck.

can dig, dude. It's just like the dirtiest body, like solid black, and then just like a fucking strawberry attached to like a piece of coal, dude. I can always remember just being like so like...

nervous and so fat and flapping everywhere. Get your hog away from me, Dad. I can just remember that. I can remember being a child and being like, we shouldn't be showering together anymore. I don't like this anymore. We shouldn't be doing this anymore. My dad was a coal miner. Yeah, so he's dirty. But yeah, dude, it's funny you brought that up because I've been like, man, this is like...

I remember being like like just younger and just seeing like my pathetic dick I

What the fuck? It was like heavy. Yeah, dude. For real. Mean. And that like, what's so weird is like, nothing changes. Oh yeah. Nothing changes. Then you just become an adult and I think back and I'm like, hmm, not that big of a dick. It was just like an okay dick. Yeah. Not even that good. Yeah. Let me see your dick real quick. It's more massive. Damn it. Damn it. I'm doing

You bitch. So what kind of girls do you get? What do you get in your DMs? What are they like? Dude, it's like, obviously you get a lot of the OnlyFans girls these days. And it's going to sound almost like a,

almost like a weird flex, but I feel like, and I'm sure you guys kind of think of that, that way too. Like you get to a point where you have such a following that like clout people, some girl and like a lot of normal girls won't message you. They're like, ah, no, this, these guys not going to answer me or, um, or they're fake. Yeah. Yeah. Something weird like that. Or it's a dude. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. That'll happen too. Well, how well is he pretending?

I'll figure it out from there. But yeah, it's just like I have a handful of Playboy models that message me regularly that I'm always like, every time it happens, I'm like, what? I'm always just like, this can't be real. And they're just like, you make me laugh so much. And I'm just like, that's awesome. And you actually could be like, you could be like, what?

You could be like pathetic and like not anything of what you are. Yeah. But I think if someone's like, you make me laugh so much, that's like the ultimate like. Dude, I love it. That's the best. Yeah. Yeah. Literally. And like people, like there's plenty of dudes that are like, yeah. Like I've made plenty of videos where I'm joking about and then playing the girl. And then like, I'll see these dumb ass dudes. Like this guy doesn't have a girlfriend. He's never had a girlfriend. He never gets laid. And I was like, oh, geez.

this guy. - Did you build up being funny? Like in high school you were like, oh I'm gonna use this as a means to communicate. 'Cause I became funny

because I wasn't smooth. Or I wasn't like... I was really, really tall, lanky, and so I would bend down. So I had a fucked up posture. So I was like, my best ability would be to ideally make a girl laugh. Sure, yeah. Or something like that. Yeah. Humor, man. Definitely. I've been making these goofy videos since I was 12 on the internet. So I always was known as the funny, doing the funny. But like...

Throughout school, I wasn't ugly, and I wasn't like... Especially after I started boxing and stuff. Dude, I had gold hair. My hair is neon blonde. So I just looked like a classic jockey kind of guy, but I didn't do sports. I just did goofy shit and boxed. So that worked out well for me. But...

Yeah, man. It's always kind of blows my mind. It's not like there's a thousand girls in my DMs all the time, but it's fairly often and it's always, I'm like, what? You're confident. The key thing I always say, it's like you're not hitting on them. Every time they message you, you treat them as a friend.

Most of the time, I'm just like, this isn't real. I'm just like, yeah, okay. I don't hardly ever delve into it. Even if it is literally a message, it's like no words. It's just full video of whatever. They're in the shower. I'm just like, oh, wow, okay. And then I'm like... You just hearted him. No, I try to keep it kind of light and funny when I'm like...

Is that Dr. Squatch? No, I'm like, oh, wow, I'm about to pass out now. Or like, oh, wow, I just got so dizzy I almost fell over. I'll do a joke about it.

trying to be like, oh wow, you're super hot, but I don't want to be like, you're such a hot baby, I wish I was up in your pussy right now. Like, I don't want to be like that. But if you're watching, that's what it means. Yeah, but I'm like, I don't want to, I want to be like funny and like polite. Yeah, you want to be consistent with your brand here. Exactly. Yeah, even while I'm like, even while all the blood is in my dick. But yeah, yeah, yeah,

Yeah, man, it's a lot of the ones that really stick out. It's a lot of OnlyFans girls, a lot of randomly quite a few Playboy models. You get fitness chicks too. Yeah, a lot of fitness chicks. And that's a fun one because I'm like, oh, this shredded fitness chick is in my DMs. That's nice. So someone this shredded and this consistent with their diet knows that I'm not just a fat guy.

Like, I'm like, that's nice. Oh, they saw you fucking deadlift 800. Yeah. That's the other guy. That's the other guy. You have, obviously, your chicks or whoever hot DMing you. Yeah. But you also have the nonstop, the people that get online just to be like, oh, you're a fat piece of shit. Oh, yeah, dude. Like, people are like, oh, you're not even funny. Why do you even do any, like. Always, dude. What type of person does it take to go online just to be mad? Just to be a dickhead. If you go to somebody's profile.

whether you follow them or somebody shared it, you have to physically go to that profile, go to message and get angry and type out all like. - You know what I do? I actually hit those people up. People are always like, why do you waste your time? And I'm like, what do you mean? What else would I be jerking off for? Like playing another video game? I'll like hit people up and I think this used to be a teacher so I can't pass up on these teachable moments. We're all message back and I'll be like, hey bud, what's this really about?

yes and i really do those and i will i promise you 80 of the time after like 10 minutes of conversation it is completely flipped i might get an apology that i don't even want yeah i'm just like what was this about like why this is the energy cost you're you and like well like talk and it maybe it could have even started with them saying something so fucked up yeah oh yeah whatever it doesn't matter i'll just be like hey what's this about

Oh, yeah. And then when you talk, it's like you get a whole new person. Dude, I do that same shit, man. I'm like, are you okay?

Like that's literally what I say. Like sometimes they say shit that's so off the rails on, and it has nothing to do with the video at all. And I'm like, what? I'm like, man, are you all right? Like that's like, I'm like, dude, I'm like, did you even read what you just wrote? I was like, this is insane. I'm like, are you okay? And they're actually kind of not okay. And you reaching out in a real person manner is legit. Then they're like, oh, maybe I'm not okay. I got this actually while shitting in your home.

Eli. Awesome. And it was interesting because this person is... I'm never flushing that toilet again. This person's an older dude. Yeah. And this was in August 22nd. He wrote some weird shit to me. Yeah. And I...

I hit him up with like, you know, what's the deal? What's going on? Randomly today, he replied to my story. He was like, he's like, yeah, they're going to love you in Texas. I was like, hope you've been well. And he's like, hey, they're the man who showed me tremendous grace. Doing very well. Thank you. Hope you are well too, brother. Safe travels. This is from August. This guy like randomly was talking shit to me, but I didn't.

match him i was like yo what's up yeah and to get like this like months later is kind of like and he was like you've shown me tremendous grace yeah and i'm just like i don't know what the fuck someone was going through and i must have i'm sure i did some weird shit on the internet um so you know when you write back to someone i bet you it means a lot and uh and i hope you fuck all those girls in your dms

You know what's really interesting is people are always like growing up, they'll be like, oh, yeah, you never had a hard time with girls. You were tall. This didn't help me. It made me feel awkward. Or they're like, oh, you were funny. You could have whatever. And it's just like, yeah, I never knew how to take the funny and spin it into romance, especially when I've established how funny I feel like being. What really is people always ask, but the one thing really was shocking was how funny

useful a blue check mark on Instagram was in terms of the dating realm. Oh God. Like when I, when I was on dating apps and, uh,

The worst thing happened once was I got banned off of a dating app because people kept reporting it as fake. They said, hey, this is like 2016. My views were up. This is what happened to me. Yeah, my views were up. Well, they brought me back and they gave me a verified badge. And I wrote them. I was like, I do not want a verified badge on a dating app. I don't want to be like, yeah, they made me here. Now you know. I got banned off with a verified badge on a dating app. Really? Bro, I got that. I posted the Thanos meme. I got another fucking stone. It's another check mark.

- It's like cheat codes. That's what I always said. It's like, what is it? Tinder with a blue check mark on Instagram and all that. It's just easy mode. You are playing on easy mode. It's a cheat. It's a cheat code. 'Cause they see it and like, you're like, uh. - I always thought that was like so fascinating that I was like,

all the shit that I've done and it's just some algorithm gave me this little blue icon and people are like, hello. And it's like, what do you mean? Some of the biggest pieces of shit that I know have this stupid fucking check mark next to their name. It's almost a bad thing.

It's a red flag. Yeah, it should be a red flag. Instead of a blue check mark, it's a red flag. Red flag. Nice. Got one. We're good. Dude, I like him kind of bummed about it because where they switched everything, my only option, the only thing that I ever got verified on was TikTok. And then all this stuff happened where you have to just pay for it now. I mean, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. Yeah, and like...

Obviously, I'm going to do it. It's your job. Yeah, I was like, it's my job. This is who I am. I have so many fake accounts of me always that I'm hearing people be like, hey, we're going to do this. So now I was like, obviously, this is my profile on these pages. Even my manager was like, yeah, you need to do it because it like –

They're obviously saying that if you have the verification, it allows you... They push your shit more. They offer you all this special stuff, and you can show that that's your real page. I was like, well, okay, fuck it. Obviously, I paid for the verification, but now it just feels like...

oh well i had to pay for it like i didn't like i didn't earn anything yeah even though like i don't know why i wouldn't have earned it uh at this point but but now i'm just like now it doesn't matter anymore because i see like random people is like jimmy from so weird oklahoma he's got a hundred followers it's like one picture of him from oklahoma yeah jimmy from oklahoma absolutely watches unsubscribed by the way yeah

Yeah, yeah. If it was a Jimmy from Oklahoma, please comment. And if you're verified, definitely comment. Definitely comment. He's like, hell yeah. I can't wait to get a DM from a guy named Jimmy from Oklahoma when he's actually named Kevin from Seattle. He's like, I thought funny though. I did the thing again. Yeah, we want to see a count created five years ago without buying that other shit. The Metal Gear Solid 3.

Oh, yeah, that's wild. I can't believe they did that. I'm excited, dude. Honestly, I'm going to say it real quick. 3 was my favorite. 3 was the one I played the most. I beat the most. I think it was because it was right in a pivotal moment where PlayStation 2 was still pretty early, and then that came out, and I was like, okay, hell yeah, some new Metal Gear, let's do it. And then it was so crazy different that I was like, whoa. You were in the 7th grade, 8th grade? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

So I played Metal Gear Solid 1 in the seventh grade, eighth grade. And that's a time where I think you, by yourself, without the help of your friends and without the help of an older sibling, can grab a controller and can beat a full game beginning to end. For me, it was Metal Gear Solid 1. I remember being like, I can't believe I beat that.

I'm going to play video games for the rest of my life. Dude, that was insane. Obviously, I beat Spyro and shit like that. But the first game that I remember being like, wow, that's like a big boy game. I beat this big boy game. It was Metal Gear 1. I remember being like, wow, I really had to do some crazy shit to beat this game. Fucking unplugging the controller and shit. I really had to...

Do adult Fox. And GS3. Metal Gear Solid 3 is like actually debatably to a lot of people, it is the best one. I don't think that's such a crazy hot take. All the systems, because I mean, Hideo, I mean, that was a genre defining. Metal Gear was, and then you had Metal Gear Solid 3, and they're like, hey, here's a camouflage system. Here's a food system. Metal Gear Solid 1. The craziest thing about Metal Gear Solid 1 is it was on a demo disc when I got my PS1. Broke.

And so you're doing the prologue there. Yeah. And I remember I would go and I would run up to a guy and he would be like, and then I would like throw him on the ground. I didn't know how to play. And like, I'm like, right, punch him. And he'd get down. I didn't even get there yet. I just like would punch him and they would keep getting up and they would keep getting up. And then I remember like grabbing the guy once and like hitting it twice. And I was like, and then I was like, and then he, the neck snaps. Yeah.

And I tell this to everyone. The concept of snapping a neck in 1998 in this fucking polygon, like eight polygon visuals thing was like the most cinematic thing I had ever done in a video game at that point. Even knocking. Oh, yeah. And then you knock. Then you knock. Then you get out of the prologue. You go upstairs. Yeah. You get to the snow. You knock. You run around. And the guy's like, whose footprints are these? And you're like, what? What?

You get outsmarted by AI? It was so insane. Oh, yeah. And I thought the whole thing was so crazy. And you know what's so funny? Surveillance camera? That was one of the first games I played and loved was Metal Gear Solid 1. The first movie I saw in theaters was Terminator 2. And I remember I was like, I love movies. Can't believe this is what movies are like. Metal Gear Solid, one of the first games. I was like, I can't believe these are games. Little did I know those would be like my favorite forever. Yeah, you're like, that was your favorite ever.

The bar was set and it never quite went back there. It was like a little annoying in that regard. But I thought Metal Gear Solid 2 was so, at the time, and I didn't play Snake, I was just like, so crazy that that didn't happen. And the game was so bizarre and weird. Looking back,

Metal Gear Solid 2 is the ballsiest fucking next level awesome thing. I still do MGS1 slash 3 as my favorite, but MGS2 is like in a class of its own. Because it's not Snake. It's just interesting. It's so fucking crazy that he did that. I was a big fan of Death Stranding. I know a lot of people didn't vibe with it. That was a fun game. They're like, you're just walking. And I'm like, yeah, sounds like Mario, bitch.

I'm playing Mario, fuckhead. Son of a bitch, he's right. I love this. Hideo Kojima is just like, even PT, the demo that was... I remember playing that with Freddy and all of them, and we were in Rocket Jump playing that together. Terrified. It was fucking scary. I was like, holy fuck, this game is scary as shit. That MGS3 trailer, when it came out,

It kind of played and it didn't have corner me on the screen or anything when I was watching it and so it was just like Totally got me by surprise. Everyone was talking about how there was gonna be an mgs3 rerelease blah blah blah They're talking about but there's that shit's been going around for a while same with the movie. Yeah Yeah, and I and I'm just like yeah, I won't have but then you see it and I was like, whoa They're really fucking doing that. It's so crazy. Yeah, there's so many ways they could fuck it up. Oh, yeah

but hopefully they stick with everything. I'm excited to see what they do if they're just, because they don't have to do much. It's like the story's there. You don't really have to change a single fucking thing on the story. Make the gameplay mechanics up to date. Who would you cast as Solid Snake if they made a Metal Gear movie now? Originally, how I would have got that

That was my dream. That's my dream movie to direct or like, I just be like, okay, I'm taking this. I'm going to make some modifications to the story because snake falling in love with an 18 year old. Who? Christian Bell, uh, for solid snake. Uh, Merrill will play, um, uh, who's black widow. And you got to give them Scarlett Johansson for Merrill. Um,

Liquid would also be just- - Yeah, it has to be the same guy. - Yeah, it has to be Christian Bale. - Yeah, Christian Bale on both sides. - Well, I mean, he's already done the twin thing, the prestige, so whoa. - Yeah, we're good. - I had a lot of thought back in the day. I remember at one point I was like, oh, Hugh Jackman, a lot of time passes. Then I was like, Oscar Isaac.

Oscar Isaac's not bad. And now I'm in like such a crazy weird place with it. You guys are going to fucking hate it. But sometimes I think some of the castings that I hated the most were ones that I loved. And I've changed my mind ever since Dark Knight. And I don't know if you guys at home, Jimmy from Oklahoma, understand this. But when it was announced that Heath Ledger was playing the Joker, everyone was mad. Yeah. No one backed

it at all. There was so much hate. Until the first picture came out months later and everyone was like, oh, maybe. We're going to shut the fuck up. We're going to listen. I don't talk shit about any casting until they come out and they fuck up. Then I'll be like, I knew that was a fuck up. I think Snake should be played by Timothee Chalamet.

because he's got that feminine look almost. It's like if you look at Snake, he's not, at least in Metal Gear Solid 1, him and Liquid are very effeminate. And they're like, they got that Japanese anime style looking thing. And I just think you put a little pack on, a little bit on him there. I think he could be a killer Snake. I imagine him with the headband. I would love it. Which one is this?

Timothy Doom, the guy from Doom. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like the young guy. Yeah, but you say young, but then you forget, like, that's like, you know. Snake's 38. Yeah. Yeah, he's like fucking, wait, he's in Metal Gear 1? He's 38? Metal Gear's 38. So Snake was. See, I always thought Snake, when I first played it, I thought he was Asian for sure. Yeah. So he is American, Japanese American. He was born in America. Liquid is also born. So that makes sense that he's 38 and looks like he's 22. Yeah. Yeah. That's like that Asian excellence. The skin. Yeah. Yeah.

And he was born Asian. A Japanese woman was his surrogate mother, like so the embryo. And then you had Big Mama is the one that actually carried liquid and solid to birth. And then Big Boss was the father. And I was just telling Eli this. I didn't know if you knew this, but Revolver Ocelot's mom is the boss.

from Metal Gear 3, the woman that you fight at the end in the white, that's Revolver Ocelot's mom and his dad is the sorrow from Metal Gear 3 where you're walking down the river there. - That river that can go very opposite ways depending on how you play Metal Gear. - How you kill, yeah. - I killed it. So Batty, this doesn't tell you there's one boss fight, you have this river, you just walk up.

Now you walk up it and you'll get to the end and you fight the last guy, which is the sorrow. And then he just dies. He's an easy boss. Yeah. But he like you, you die. No matter what you do, you die. But that river is based off of if there's enemies in there is all the people you've killed leading into it. It's the river of death. It's like a river of sticks. If you, if you didn't kill anyone the whole game, you just walk, you walk down the thing, you get there, he kills you and you get a special camouflage. Uh,

uh but it's like a silent camouflage yeah but if you've killed people i kill everyone you kill like mad dudes and you never make it to the end you still die but you never got to the sorrow so you don't get the special camouflage that's a trade-off but that's crazy yeah it's a cool idea and he always does he always like that's that's what i love i love artistic risks yeah and if you fuck up

That's fine. You know, like I do like the risks. I don't like artistic risks when something is established already. Like we were talking about the Halo show. I don't want you to take an artistic risk with the writing of Halo. Yeah. I don't want no risk.

You have a great story. Guess what? You ask any Halo fan, it's like, what should Master Chief do instantly? No one says take his helmet off. Take his helmet off. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. He needs to have sex. I want to see his cough. I want to see that Master Chief. Pull his cock out. Pull his cock out. I'm just saying, I've been on parts of the internet where that is exactly what

I want that hog. Make Cortana jack him off. Where's his warthog at? Apparently you guys were on new grounds back in the day because that's all I was. A lot of Cortana.

MGS3, did you play your first time through where you, did you kill a whole bunch of people? Yeah, I killed a lot of people. Yeah. It's hard otherwise. Yeah. Yeah. And you go to that place and I didn't know. That's like one of the few times I'm like, why is there so many bad weird ghosts? And you die. I'm trying to,

You have to take the pill, right? You die, you have to take the pill. It's like a fake death screen and then you take the pill. Yeah. So like you could keep replaying this and be like, what am I supposed to do? Yeah. It's so confusing. I was just like, what do I do? And just started smashing buttons and that popped up. I was like, what? And they're like, what is this pill?

Metal Gear Solid 1. It's like, you have to call them on the codec. And I'm like, okay. And I keep asking for the check on the back of the box, Snake. And I'm like, taking the phone. I'm like, hi, Blockbuster. Hey, can you walk up to that? I need to see. Wait, no. No, no, no. There's something. It should be like 140.1.

Okay, thank you. And the employee went to the box and on the phone said it to me what it is. And I was like, that's just some shit you don't have anymore in gaming because you'll just be like, I'm just trying to go on the internet. Google it. What's the code? Cool.

I felt like Snake calling Blockbuster. It was a whole other real life mission built inside of it. Harley Mortis. I need the cake. It makes that noise, the calm noise. That's the only game I beat.

thousands of fucking like hundreds of times i beat number one and two and three did you ever play twin snakes it was i loved how over the fucking top it was the one thing i would change is like the matrix music i liked the music of the first one but like i never complained about it i was like it looks fucking awesome well people say it's like that one was way over to the top you've

play number four again i showed you that video where they launch the guys onto arsenal via a fucking metal launcher on a seat and they just launch them into this we 100 feet in the air no parachute so they just ding into the side of the building and slide down and live and they're like that's normal but jumping off a fucking hindy missile that's over the top of my guy i loved it uh

Metal Gear 4 when you're fighting Liquid and Ocelot and Snake are fighting on top of... For 10 minutes. Yeah. Dude, that's a big battle. You ever see that? If the fight goes on long enough, Liquid will kiss Snake on the cheek and it's such a funny scene. He's like, Snake! And he grabs you from behind and goes...

It's so random. It's the artistic decisions like that. Like there's a lot of homo vibes in all the metal gear. Oh yeah. That was like, it was just funny to like, look at BAMP. Like to just, yeah. Even just like, like snakes searching people and patting them down and then grabbing their dick and they're like, oh, it's like such a moment that when you're like playing, you're like, oh.

If that happened to me, these days people would be like, you're fucking grooming kids with this shit. Yeah. You had to look at people's asses in MGS1 to find out how they walk. Yeah. Exactly. In MGS5, MGS5 at the beginning, when you're following Ishmael and you're like behind him like a

the beginning he's got his head wrapped up and he's wearing the the smock there you're behind him he's crouched in front of you so his ass is in front of you with the seam split and so it's just there you don't think about it yeah and then when you get to a crowd of people and he moves ahead of you you're like looking around and then you see one person from the back and then snake looks down at his ass yeah acknowledges that that's the ass he recognized and it's just so funny to recognize him by ass why can't that i wanted that's all i want to like wait is that harley

Yeah. Yeah. This is what dogs do. Yeah. This is just what dogs do, man. Yeah. It was good to see you. Oh, that's that ass I know. That's that ass I know and love. I find some dogs. If I bring one of my dogs home, like if I brought him somewhere or whatever, and I bring them home to their dogs, like, let me smell your dick.

And I'm like, why? What do you think he did with his dick first? They're like, where were you? Go smell the dick first. Apparently, I read something about that not too long ago. That whole area down there, it releases some kind of scent that if they're sick or something, like if they went somewhere and caught something, they're like, let me make sure you're not sick.

Let me make sure you didn't bring some shit into our house. That's a stank dick. Get out of here, dog. You got a stank dick right in front of you. The whole crotch and ass area and those glands that are near their ass that lets them know if they're sick or something. Okay, that makes a lot of sense. I respect their decisions. Let me make sure you ain't got something. That's what I do. I think stank dick is the perfect time

Thank you for watching the Sistrime Podcast. As always, Eli Doubles up, myself, Batty Streams, Caleb Francis, Harley, Caleb, where can we find you? Uh, Caleb W. Francis everywhere. Is there something new and cool that you're doing? Uh, I'm doing a lot of cool new stuff. Uh,

I mean, can I even talk about it? I have a podcast. Me and Jared are doing a podcast. There we go. Time for Pie. First episode releases Tuesday, and then it'll be every Tuesday from here on out. Awesome. Hell yeah, man. Harley, where can we find you? HarleyPlays on everything. Even Snapchat, TikTok, Twitch. Oh, follow HarleyPlays on Kik. Yeah.

Hey. You are.