95 - Yer Cancelled, Harry ft. Your Narrator & Nikko Ortiz 01:28:13

Friday I'm fucking drained. I'm already dead ego me yeah way more than our angry cops I'm just better Wait what did you order from that you just pop your Chinese here? Oh, yeah, no we pop the top up no no yeah, don't fucking open your food yet Ready okay?

Oh, you shot. That was a little squirt on that one. That's how I get them. Oh, yeah. Girl.

Fucking just ate. Yeah, you know you guys five minutes ago. What did I get for you? This is nothing and then I offer food and you throw it back at me hold on hold on hold on get him I can't eat fried food. Have you seen my fried deep-fried chicken? It was made in the skin the skillet I

- This guy was like, "No onions." - It got peppers in it! - I see the peppers! - I can eat the peppers! - He looked at the fish at the restaurant. He's like, "Uh-uh, no." - My gerts. - "Oh shit, my pants." - And he's like, "What?" - You did this to yourself. - This general's chow's chicken. - You know what? - He's like, "I can't." - And it's delicious. - This chopstick's idiot. I can't use them either. My hangers are all broken.

Oh, yeah. That was a truly good joke. Yeah. Welcome to Unsubscribe!

podcast as always and our two beautiful hot sexy powerful strong great credit scores guests we have Nico Ortiz and the narrator your narrator your narrator I'm sorry he doesn't know who he is

Deep fake of air

That's what I get caught on twitch for I'm like Sam. Can you sit in the background and cry? Well, I talk about I Should have never looked at it. So it should existed in the first place I've said this this is my fucking only rule every time I was like, babe. What do you do with all those monitors? I'm like, look at porn. I'm kidding No, the only rule if you stream anything

anywhere is don't watch porn in your stream room. That is it. That's the only place where everybody else can see everything that you're seeing. The only fucking place to get caught up. It is your work computer. Your work computer. Would you do it at your cubicle? Exactly.

*Badass music*

300 hertz screen. - iPads. - yourself. - Yeah, I do. - Yeah, baby. - Keep it on your phone. - You have an iPad? You have a Samsung tablet from 2011? You have a laptop? Like there's, don't jerk off in your stream room. - Guys, that's the question down below. Where do you jerk off?

We must know. Comment below. I liked it. Where's your favorite place in Spain? Where's your J-O room? Better question. Name the places you haven't jerked off yet. Potential J-O spots. Potential J-O. No. Don't answer that one, actually. 30% will be internet.

- Nope, they're gonna put places they shouldn't do it. - Does your chat ever get you to try and show them like their, your history, your computer history? - No. - Yeah, no, so all the time. They don't try to get me, but I have no issues doing it. I've opened my history on stream to find a website I needed. 'Cause you know why? I'm smart and I have two different Chrome accounts.

So you do I jerk off in this part no If I share browsing history through my laptop if I want to find something I just like I also just jerk off to my phone if I need to baddies a baddie Confirms it's Safari

Bro, you still using Safari? It's my iPhone. Oh, yeah. I was going to say, every iPhone got Safari. What do you mean? What do you mean, man? What are you talking about? I got Opera GX. Okay, we're good. No, your camera was off. Someone got bumped.

I fix it. It's already dead. I really want to throw something at it. It was bought. I was like, wait, this isn't lining up. Moral of the story. Don't jerk off when there's 10 cameras on you. Don't jerk off to your friend. Yeah. Don't jerk off to your friends. Don't jerk off to your friends. That's another really great. This is awkward. Don't jerk off to fake photos of your friends either. That's also kind of weird. That's what makes it fine. Then it's not you. It's just your head on a pair of tits. And I'm like, okay, it's fine now, right? No, we know that it's forbidden.

Makes the fruit sweeter. If I J-O'd you guys and it's just female bodies, but I just, I put your heads on it. Yeah, it's always your guys' heads on the female's body. And I'm like, yeah. I hate how you say J-O. Can you just say jerk off? J-O. Maybe it's going to be a thing. When he says dick now, he says pee pee still? Yeah. No, he does not. Dude, your pee pee? I say that sometimes. Say dick. Dick.

No, I'll never see. That's aggressive. Cock. Thank you. That was hot. You like that? Oh, my cock. Oh, my cock move. Mommy, my wee-wee's hard. Doesn't it make your butt jump on your dick? That's how you get those bitches wet. Haven't you ever wanted to see a wee-wee? Yeah.

You want a picture of my wee wee? Late night sex and your significant other. Hey, how you doing? You make my pee pee go boing. Yeah, boing. And then you send that little door stopper. How do we all have significant others? Man, I don't know. I got money. I don't know. I got money. At least he's on it.

I'm disappointed in us, but at the same time, I'm like, we did it. We made it. We found somebody. That's somebody. We made it work. I don't know how, but here we are. We're eating Chinese food on a podcast right now. It's so good. No! It's like the fifth time. He's like, just please stick your fingers in this meat. Do you want my fingers in your meat? Yeah, that's what he wants, bro.

- Get in there, get in there. - You should have missed and just put it in his fucking beard. That would have been great. - It's just a nugget. - He comes back in two months, he hasn't cleaned it. A bird lives in there. - It's not that good. - Dude, I was just about to ask, I'll be like, "Is it? How good is it?" - It's all I have. - That looks like dollar Chinese food. - It's all I have. - Wait, didn't you say you have money or some shit like that? - In pack of lunch.

- And buy all the Panda Express chains. - Jesus. - This is the first time these pretty boys are meeting in person. - Wait, in person, for real? - Yeah, today. - God, the internet's so fucking weird. You can talk to them all the time, all day, every day, and then you're like, "Oh yeah, we haven't met."

- First time me and Eli met, we tried sucking each other's dick online. It was weird. - Yeah. - That's hot. - You guys try and like, J-O in front of everybody too? - Stop it. - Don't you dare. - Yeah, you start using J-O. - J-O is pee-pee, huh? - J-O my pee-pee. - Dude, J-O that pee-pee, dude. - Fuck!

Yeah, this is the first time that- I hate Eli-isms. Eli-tisms. I just walked- I saw Nico and I was like, "Oh Nico!" We gave each other a hug, but like in my- in my head though, I was replaying that uh, uh, that scene from Harry Potter when Voldemort finally comes back, he's like, "Aish." "Nah." I'm like, "Aaaah!" Yeah, yeah.

- Oh wait, Harry Potter, you're playing the new one. You are not. - I'm a Harry Potter fan, but I have not played the game. - I'm a huge fan. - Yeah, I have not played the game. - It's so good. - I have heard it's great from every single person who has played it, and I hear it's awful from every single person who refuses to play it. - I literally, I dressed up. - Are we doing this today? Can we talk about it? Can we talk about it? - Let's talk about that. - I don't want to talk about this. - We have nothing but nerds on right now. That's why I'm like, okay. - Wait, are we talking about what? - Why, why, uh,

half the internet, I'm going to say not half, like a quarter of the internet fucking hates you if you play Harry Potter because JK Rowling has obviously done said things that are very anti-Semitic and not anti-Semitic. That's anti-Jewish. JK Rowling hates the Jews. She did that too. No, no, no. I'm mixing up instances. That was another thing earlier. I don't think she's done the Jew thing. I don't care what she did. I just want to play with that.

Yeah. And that's involved in a movie series that I like, regardless of whoever wrote a book and did whatever. Well, I can still like the movies a lot. I agree with that. I love the movies. So I agree. I agree.

- 100% agree with you. She said anti-trans things. I think that we talked about the anti-Semitic things with Tim Kennedy way back. - Did she do that? - Yeah. - I can't remember. - Whether or not it was true or not, I don't know. But she said a lot of like anti-trans things. And now everyone's like, well, she gets royalties from the game. She has nothing to do with the game whatsoever, except that she wrote the initial book.

books and she's getting royalties. So now everyone's like, well, if you buy that game, you're giving her money. And she's come out and actually said like, she's using the money from the game to do things to further her anti-trans agenda, which is pretty fucking stupid. This is what I would tell people who come at me like, oh, well, the money you give is fucking, we don't like her. I'd be like, guess what? Fuck you.

- I was literally gonna be like, I like you less than her right now because you're the only one telling me I can't do shit and control my life. Fuck you. - Also, literally, since I've been playing it, literally an hour into the game, you get to go to Hogsmeade to get your wand and all that shit. - Yep, spoilers alert. - Yeah, one of the first people that you meet as an actual character is a tavern owner

And she is trans. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was a badass. Yep. Like two dudes rolled up trying to wizard duel me and she's like, you can go. And she turned the whole bar, like everyone in the bar just went and whipped their wands out. It's like a western. And I was like,

Okay, all right, but it's it's weird to me because like that was the whole thing. That's why I Went ahead and streamed it last night on Twitch going like let's see how fast I can get you know canceled to see if anyone will actually do anything is it multiplayer or So the only thing I'm cool with being single player and all this stuff like I don't care the only thing I haven't played the game at all so I'm just spitballing here, but

I don't think I would like the game a lot because games nowadays, like we talked about it on the previous podcast, like Fallout, Assassin's Creed, all these open world games, single player, but you're able to roam and do your own thing instead of following this like super narrow storyline. Like this is the path in the game. This is the only path you can take. You cannot like...

- It's not on Rails is what I'm hearing, right? - No. - Okay, so, okay, that, okay. - Yeah, there's a bunch of side quests and like, it's just an open world kind of thing. - Think of like your Batman Arkham games, 'cause it's the same combat system. - I've not played, but okay. - There is a main story, but you can... - Ghost of Tsushima. - So I need to play this Monday on Twitch or YouTube live, basically. - Yeah, essentially.

I'm playing it tonight. I cannot wait. I've been waiting to play it. That was my thing. So here's one thing though. Caleb, I saw on his fucking... He started to talk bad. He interrupted me. And then you're like, fuck off. I'm like, hey, listen. I have something to say. I record with Molly. I'm used to this. I'm just watching. Go ahead.

You may speak now. Go ahead and finish your stuff. I forgot already. I'm stupid. Now it's two people. Oh no. People forgot. Shut up and eat your Chinese food. Oh yeah. Damn it.

- You know what, Matthew, look at me, look at me. - Yo, Rochambeau, Rochambeau. - One, two, three, go. Okay, you go. - All right, so I was seeing Caleb's fucking on Instagram. Caleb was doing like, he was showing like gameplay footage and he's like, "I don't know what people are talking about, "saying that this shit is boring." That was fucking awesome. And I was like, it looked cool, but it definitely looked extremely repetitive and like,

It's like one of those games where like all you can press is X to attack and that's it. And then there's like a cool combo after you press X like a thousand times. So I'm just like, not my type of game. - Yeah. I mean, it's definitely not a shooter in any way, shape or form. - Well, my favorite types of games actually aren't shooters. - I see what you're saying. It's the combat mechanics you want more in depth where it's like, hey, like Sushi Ghost, remember you had different stances and then X and O. - It's strictly just decisions. Attacks on decisions and everything.

But I will give it a shot. Yeah. It's like you got your normal like basic attack, which is just R2, which is fine. But there's a lot of different spells that like you change on the fly. So that you can customize it, but it is still kind of like that whole everything correlates with like your normal attack.

Pew! Wait, are you playing on a controller? Yeah. Oh, shit. Okay. Alright, Beth. From the last time we did this shit, like, I was, like, on controller and then now I'm trying to get used to keyboard and mouse and it's, like, the most difficult thing of my existence. Any time, any game that has, like, that kind of combative style, like, especially Dark Souls or anything like that, I play controller. You plug in the Xbox controller real fast. Yeah. No, I ain't even trying. I have an Xbox controller for this game, too. There are some games that just aren't

Not keyboard and mouse. They're just not meant for it. I'm not sure it's bed space Any of those games are just brutal with the keyboard mouse you guys like I'm like oh fucking No, I'm good on this yeah, but that was that was my overall goal was to see if I can get and I didn't I got no no hate no no hate or playing it people thought it was funny and

You dressed up like Harry Potter. I dressed up as I had a full Ravenclaw. Everything white robe, pointy hat. Yeah. Three letters. Like a ghost. To save on time. Tea for time to get out.

Really just trying to get you. Okay. Yeah, but it was a fun game. I can't wait, honestly, to play it tonight. It'll be really cool. Interesting. Okay, what game is it better than? Or what games are better than that? Elden Ring.

I loved Elden Ring. Dude, nah. I looked at that. I was like, I'm just not going to do it. Wait, did you just try to play any of them? No, no, no. Because that type of like the graphics and all that shit, I was just like, I'm not into that at all. I'm not into that in the fucking slightest. That is so weird. So I was like, I don't even want to spend money on it or nothing. I wouldn't even download a demo because I just don't. It's like me playing. If everyone right now is raging about a

Princess Barbie video game. No, you don't. It's just not my type of game. But it's not my type of game. It just doesn't matter. Which I get, but then I don't get because when I look at Elder Wings, I'm like, dog, there's a fucking huge dragon breathing fire, knights that are like fucked up, swords swinging. You're like, this is fucking dope as shit. And then you two are like, I hate it. I hate that art style in my games. I hate from software. I will say I'm excited for Armored Core 6 though. Have you played any of them? I've played...

Three different ones now. I have not been able to get more than four hours into a single one. We're going to leave it at that. But if I don't play the game, how am I supposed to beat the game? Exactly. Fuck that game. How are you going to rate the game when you haven't beaten it? I didn't rate it. I just said, I don't like it. I'm not going to play it. It's not for me. Oh, no, no, no, no. Have you played Dark and Darker? I have not yet. But I'm about to get on that.

Oh wait, okay. I heard Darker Darker is actually really, really good. It's, bro, the fucking, the demo shit that I tried, it's impossible to progress it anyway now. I was like, this is terrible. It went live two days ago, I believe, the play test. It's only a week, so you only got a few days before this play test ends. It's unforgiving, hardcore fantasy first person shooter dungeon. It's Tarkov Medieval. It's Tarkov Medieval. Yeah. Oh.

Oh, what? Oh, damn it. I'm surprised he hasn't heard of this at all. Wait, you've heard of it, right? He hasn't played it. He didn't like it at all? I only played the demo, and I was like...

Oh, well, here's the thing. It's a super young game, but I'm like, the potential is fucking here for it. It was difficult to kick off. If you do archery or magic or anything, you're going to die. You will never kill anything, but if you're a fighter or carry objects, you'll be able to start the game off and at least get a vibe because it's just the demo and all this other shit, but the game has so much potential. I think it's going to be really good. I'd do that. It's a

like 90% of the Targov audience fucking loves the game because it's a hardcore wizard game. It's just pretty, I think you

I think you would love it. It's the same reason Nico doesn't like Elden Ring. The vibe of it, I fucking hate. My fantasy games, like, I want Dragon Age. I want Skyrim. I don't want Elden Ring or Dark and Darker. Well, the thing I got from Dark and Darker, I got, like, an Oblivion vibe. When I got into, like, the tunnels in the game, and I was like, huh. I guess the graphics, because it's from 2005. How? But Oblivion, to me, I almost like it more than Skyrim. The combat is so dank! Oh,

You only have like a primary and secondary attack. Oh god, but then again you don't have a bunch of weapon systems in the beginning You're starting off like raw. It looks like like old-school Diablo Inventory. Oh yeah, you want to yeah like it fucking oblivion style. I don't know I'm sitting here talking shit on it cuz it's not my style of game I know it's good because everyone my fucking friends loves this game and

Okay. I just, I, I, I've watched like 30 fucking hours of it trying. It's a free game. I have it. I've opened it twice and just been like, I don't care. Well, I just don't think it's developed enough to, for anybody to give a fuck. Cause I was like, I, I was fucking didn't even get to play. Cause it's like select a server. And I'm like, what the fuck? It says play right here. It's like, no, select a region. And I'm like,

What are you talking about? They're like, trade merchants. They're doing like seven day play test and then it's gone for like two months and then they'll come back for seven days or something like that. It's very early alpha. But that's why I think it's going to be good. If they take in this criticism, I know they're fixing and changing lots of things. I don't know. It is weird. It could have just been the demo I was playing, but it has that like a

I know battleground vibe. It's like there's like a circle and it's like closing in. True. Yeah. I was like, this is kind of weird. It's definitely like a dungeon crawling battle royale. Yeah. So as you're in this dungeon, there are exits and you have to try to escape this dungeon as well with your loot from chests, from boxes, from other players, from enemies. And if you're in there too long, a circle does come in and start to fucking kill you.

- Oh, that might be fun. - It's like 100% a dungeon crawler. - Oh. - There's no open world. - You're not outside. - Yeah, you're not outside. - You're in the gutter, bro. - Just dungeon. - The whole fucking time. - It's literally like, I'm pretty sure the matchmaking menu is you sitting at a tavern getting ready to go. - Oh, interesting. - Oh, okay. - It was like Dark Dungeon. What is Dark Dungeon? - Darkest Dungeon. - That game was... - It's one of those games called, fuck,

procedural generated things. Rogue lights. It's got one was hard. It's got to play it. Yeah, I have it. It's permanent. Your characters are all permanent. You die. You lose everything just like Tarkov. Yeah, and you don't get that character back. You're like, okay, you were with me for half this journey.

And you have depression. And they have PTSD depression. Oh, yeah, straight up. Yeah, your characters in Darkest Dungeon can get depression and shit. Because it's all fucked up. Yeah, if you haven't played, it's fucking hard, though. It is. The goblins are coming. Quick, take up your shields. I played it back when I had both my hands broken. It's a clicker.

Yeah, your friends die. Think about how you would react to that. You just watch your teammate get murders. Now you're just like, you're gone for... And then you're depressed because you lost a really strong character. Get out of them barracks. Let's be real. Y'all need help for Valentine's Day because you're like us. Sad, lonely, and depressed. Odds are...

You could use a little help. Eli, what do we have to help our wonderful viewers today for their Valentine's Day sadness? Well, now this is a completely different ad thing because I was going to say, maybe you guys are going to get laid this week. And if you want to, but now Maddie wants to go this route, which I'm completely fine with. Say 50% right now at adamandeve.com on your favorite blow-up doll. Maybe. Your favorite.

That's what you're going to need. You're going to have to head over to AdamMuneve.com and probably buy something there for yourself. Maybe, I don't know. 50% off on Valentine's. You can have that spicy sex with whomever you want. I don't care. You want to fill your holes? This is the website you fill your holes with. AdamMuneve.com

is freaking dope. Plus, I like kinky stuff. I don't like my holes filled particularly. That's not my thing. He does. But maybe you do and that's awesome. I'm more of like an S&M guy where I dominate. Camera, punch in. Black, punch in again. One more time. Now add camera shake. So make sure you guys head over to Avenime.com and use code UNSOBIT.

for your Valentine's need and free shipping. It's a free shipping. Yeah, it's free shipping too. I feel like a lot of games have gone to shit recently and there's not a whole lot of fun games out there to play. I guarantee, I'm the same way. I think we're just getting older. The Harry Potter game ignited my love for gaming for a while. Oh God. See, I have to try it. Oh God. You're saying that and now I'm like, I don't know, you talking out your ass right now or do I gotta like... I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. When you...

Like when you go on those breaks without playing video games, that's, it happens around 30. It happened with the new Pokemon game for me. Holy shit. And you'll just take full step backs from video games. It's like, I don't care. And then you find that one. Mine was a PS. When I bought the PS4, I skipped the PS3 altogether. And it was the remake of last of us. I hadn't played a game in so long. Last of us. I played fucking just the whole. Oh yeah. And I was like, Oh God, this is so good. Same like sushi ghost or ghost of Tsushima. Yeah.

Oh my God. That. Boy, you're fast. God damn. You got reflexes. But yeah, those, those games, I'm just like, oh, I missed that. I like that. That one and done where you're like, okay, I'm back into gaming. That is your Harry Potter. If I don't like, I'm going to be so fucking mad.

Just chill out. Play the game. I am. I am. I'm going to play it. Are you good over there? Wait, don't worry about what's going on over here. We're playing fucking handsy footsie. Hold my hand like a fucking man. Thank you. Hold my hand like a fucking man. That's hot. But the whole point of this conversation was that people that...

are complaining about this Harry Potter game are fucking pissing me the goddamn fuck off because like I see message sent from an iPhone. Go fuck yourself. Motherfuckers going to Hobby Lobby still go fuck yourself. Chick-fil-A go fuck

Fuck yourself! Shit, they're just looking for a reason to be mad about something on the internet. And I fucking hate that shit. Here's my thing. If they're really going on and on about like, oh, you don't want to support freaking XYZ because of XYZ. It's like, cool. Maybe that's a cause you believe in. Awesome. Why this game in particular?

You tell me, we're going to cancel you on Twitter. Oh, you mean the other, the website that is controlled by another billionaire who is profiting off of all this shit and using you to also, he's been very clear about what his intentions are on that whole spectrum. But you still use that website. I'm retarded. Right? When was the last time you actually went down there?

to Warner Brothers and boycott it? When was the last time you went to Harry Potter World and said, this isn't right? What are they? Universal now? We gotta fire them. It's literally because the only reason everyone is freaking out, in my opinion, specifically about this game, is...

Because it's easy to do. Yeah, 100%. They don't have to go anywhere. It's the laziest form of fucking virtue signaling. Yeah, exactly. And that's even though when they put, you know, J.K. Rowling has no connection to the game. We put in trans characters and like all kind, like they accommodate, they did so much to accommodate for this game to make it appealing for everybody. But everyone's like, no, you're being mean.

if you buy this game and I'm like, I'm a wizard, Harry. - The other thing I'm saying about the game is people are getting mad because the whole point of the game is you're putting down like a goblin insurrection and then that's where the antisemitism comes in. People are like, oh, goblins are obviously the Jews. So, and you're just putting down the Jews. - Where do we get that? - I'm like, have you read fantasy literature? Have you, I don't want to like be like, damn, but have you looked into Tolkien's Lord of the Rings?

- And his stories in crossover from World War II, like I don't know man, like any of these fantasies, there is a bad thing and a good thing. - How do you connect in these dots? - I'm sorry. - How the fuck are you connecting these dots? - Are you telling me that people are saying that goblins are Jewish because most of the goblins only work in banks?

This is the other Twitter point. It's infuriating to see people like make these arbitrary bullshit things in their mind so that they can be like, well, this is why we have to hate this thing. It's like,

Meanwhile above Hogwarts, I'm gonna just hate you instead like this If you like they made a website to track anybody on Twitch who played the game yep, I read it they could harass and hate them I'm like so let's all play in this game you take a step back Just did

Y'all are mad because you think a game is singling out a type of people. So now you have made a website to track and single out a different type of people just because you disagree. Like,

- I just make sure everyone's defending it, but you guys go home and play it and you get on the last mission and you're like, "The game's not that bad." The final solution killed the goblins and you're like, "Oh, oh, I see what they're saying." - Oh, I get it! They was fucking right. - Oh shit! - Put on this costume, it's just that mustache. - Because you're right here, an undercover professional. - Okay, well now I can see why they're spanking her. - They got me. - Severe Snape.

Sorry. Infuriating, man. My bad. Like, out of all the things we're going to be outraged and mad and target and try to ruin people's lives and careers over...

Harry Potter, which to be fair, they refused to call Harry Potter or Legacy. They refused to use Harry Potter in the title, so they called it Hogwarts Legacy. And they're calling the game The Wizard Game because nobody wants to say the name of the game on Twitter because they think that's bad. It's the new Voldemort. It really is. Dude, bro. That's the connection I'm seeing. That's so stupid. I can't even, bro. They're just like, we can't say Harry Potter. Oh.

- You said his name! You said his name! - Bro, the amount of like, and I'm seeing people attack other individuals for their childhood, 'cause for me, Harry Potter was a huge part of my childhood. - Yeah, yeah. - Literally ignited my love for reading, 'cause I love reading, and people are like,

So you were just a stupid kid who liked to read so so a wizard book identified as your whole childhood and I'm like Are you listening to yourself right now? Like you're attacking people for enjoying their childhood. Yep over a book I'd be like, but you fucking lame as fuck. I'm like get the fuck out Like you race this piece of shit as they're getting their Vita their golf their BW bargain You're like it was made by Hitler

Literally created by that dude. I was like, yo. I don't give nobody the time of all. Anybody out there getting hate on, just who gives a fuck? Just go about your day. They will leave. It's insane, man. They will leave. Narrators are like, I'm so shit. You're on Twitch, which is owned by Amazon.

Thought of the worst joke ever and I can't say why we can always cut it. I'll tell you after the podcast After parties give you wild today I've been reading a rant about that. I can I can write about here. You make fun of my childhood. No, I can't do I can't

- You should just say it. - Attacking people for their childhood. That's fucked, man. - Everything today is fucked, though. - Everything is. - Everything today is fucked. - A lot of stuff, yeah. - Pick your fucking battles, man. Jesus Christ. - I don't. I don't log on Twitter. - I'd be fighting everybody now. We got friction. I love this shit, let's go. - That's when you thrive. - Yeah, I'm like, that's when I'm really winning. Like, let's go. - Dude, that is, uh, I am. - Hey, Braddy, guess who's been making knives since 1974?

- Is it Kershaw? - It is. Kershaw blades. These things are awesome. If you're wondering how sharp are these blades, look at this Santa hat.

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- If kinetic energy can turn into thermonuclear energy, how hard do I have to slap you to cook your face, bro? Imagine getting in a fight and someone just rolls up with that. I'd be like, "What the fuck are you saying?" I'd be like, "Get away from me." - He's crazy.

- I wasn't ready for the midterm, bro. - Did you just hit you with science? - Don't ever do that again. - This fucking nerd just, he just nerd punched me. - He just grows muscles just like, if kinetic energy can be turned into thermonuclear energy, how hard do I have to slap you to cook it? - What are you talking about? - What is it? - I don't like him. - Atomic. - Kinetic energy, which is. - Kinetic energy. - No, I know, but anime. We just did it, the.

- Oh yeah, I am atomic. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What a hoodoo? Nerd shit. Yeah, weeb shit. Some anime. Okay. Anime. Okay. We just go over to anime. Fucking watch that air on the crunchy roll. Yeah. It's not like a spicy tuna roll, but it is pretty good. Anime is great and all, but I can't keep up just because I can't read that fast if it's in like another verse. You can watch dubbed anime and it's okay. No, you can't. Stop it. No, you can't. I don't watch. I can't do dubbed. I hate dubbed. English voiceovers. Oh, that's the only show I'll be watching. If it got subtitles,

Bro, I can't fucking read that fast. I'm barely playing on my phone. I'm sorting magic cards. I ain't got time to read while I'm watching all this. Yeah, it's too much for me. I need to be able to listen. My ADHD's growing like a third of a grade level, okay?

If mine works, I'm pretty sure you hyper fixate. You will literally turn your brain off except for the one line of texture reading and nothing around you matters. Shut the fuck up. You got to practice and then you get really good where you can read the text and also somehow see the entire thing. That's not fucking fun to me. That's,

That hurts. And then you start learning the language. Yeah, I'm like, what am I doing? Studying? What the fuck? Sounds like work. I wanna be able to watch the anime, but not watch the anime and look at cards and also do like three- *laughs*

I listen to a lot of shows. I definitely put on like the TV and just work because I just appreciate the background noise because my brain is fucking loud like editing or anything. I can't do that. Like I have to. That's the only time I'm like, no, if I'm editing, I have to like hyper. Like you said, I have I have to hyper fixate on like the subtle sounds and like do I cut that out? If I have like even just like music, music in the background, I'm like,

- Stop it. - See, I need background noise. - Oh, I go insane on editing or anything. I'm like, no, turn off everything. I'm like. - Well, that's different though. 'Cause you're like, it's just that. But if I'm like working, getting shit done, checking emails, like whatever, it's like, I need to have like background noise or else like I go crazy. - Yeah. - 'Cause my thoughts and everything are just like. - That's what, mine go crazy. - Now what you can take away from this conversation, everybody, is that you can see that we are all different. We still love each other.

Look now you're talking crazy man imagine disagreeing on things like Sometimes people like anime sometimes people don't sometimes people like spicy food sometimes they have Gurt like I don't know It's it's fine, but we're just called opinion. We're still friends everyone has their own opinion. Imagine that's my fucking shy bitch about that a lot too. People be like oh man you don't like this one thing that I like fuck

Fuck you. And then I was like, yeah, I fucking hate that too. And now we're bonding over shit. We hate like, what are you doing? What's the, why do you want to like hate things together? That's why I stay off Twitter. I'm telling you, bro. It's just, it's like all the spacists. I'm telling you. What the fuck is a spacist? Go on. Yeah. Hold on. That sounds very interesting, sir. So it's got multiple ways. So spacists are,

are what I call people who are really, who dictate their entire life based off of astrology. Oh, you're a Cancer? Oh, my fucking God. Oh, you're a Taurus? Oh, we can even talk about this even though I found out that you murdered somebody yesterday. I'm a Taurus. I'm a Virgo. Okay, what am I?

If y'all know, you just fucking tell me. Like, that's all. When's your birthday? I love our birthday. When's your birthday? No, no, no. I'll be like, fucking tell me what I am. Because I'll be like, oh my God, I know all these fucking things. There's a comedian. I'll be like, how about you just fucking tell me what I am then since you know everything. I did that to somebody once where they were like, oh, I'm really into astrology, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, cool. He's a Gemini. I'm a Taurus. And she was like, oh my God, I knew that. I felt it. Close. She was like, oh.

oh, I don't really think we'll get along very well because I don't like Tauruses. And I'm like, so you don't know Virgo. Yeah, but it's like, you don't fucking know me. Why would you just? Have you guys seen the standard comedian? That's his bit where he's like, oh, blah, blah, blah. He's like, and you fucking people with astrology. It's like, what are you? It's like, but he's like, okay, so I'm this. And he goes in the spill. And then they're like, I knew it. It's like wrong, bitch. That's not even my sign. It's this. And they're like, oh, and then it was like, and then another girl's like called it.

it because he did this. He's like, again, lie, bitch. I'm not even telling you my real side. So like all of them were wrong and the crowd was like, get fucked. That's exactly why I'm like, bro, what even is this? I know everything. Shut up. I'm a Libra. There you go. Are you? Yeah, I knew you knew it. You know what? I'm going to take that advice. That's Libra energy.

I'm gonna take that advice from all the people that love astrology, okay? If you live your life based off of only astrology, I don't want to be friends. This is the one thing we hate. You can enjoy astrology, just don't be a shithead about it. You can. But it's anything! You can enjoy anything, just don't be a fucking... Just don't be an ass about it. I want to say the C word and I can't anymore. Oh, yeah. Just don't be a... about it. There it is. Good luck. Whoa! He's like, yeah, get rid of that right now. He's like...

- Don't be such a, and it's just like. - Just the music's gone, I was like, shit! - Yeah. You should do just like a 10 second just, just like dance to music. That'd be fun. - Oh. - Oh, careful, that's sexual. - Oh yeah, we're gonna hit the sensual dance again. - Yeah, we've seen what happened last time. - Oh man. - No more macarons. - We legit got flagged for that. - I believe it, I got flagged for everything lately, so like yeah.

- They're taking everything from you. - You make a fuck more videos, Nico? - Demonetized. I'm like, IG, IG right now. Batty, don't show guns or anything. - No, even fantasy swords. You cannot do swords, knives, guns, fantasy weapons.

Any fantasy weapon, like they put that now with guns. It's like we will restrict your fucking content. Oh my God. It is the new guidelines because Tam Kennedy, he was like, yo, what the fuck is this? Because Tam gets like half 200 to 600,000 views per reel. He screenshot. He was like 2000 views.

A video got 2,000 views. And so it goes 600,000, 2,000 views. And he's like, what the fuck? And then it's the new guidelines. And they're just straight throttling anything that's a weapon. Why are you going to come after the weebs? Why? Like, okay, you know what? I'm going to be real. There's some friction between gun people and non-gun people. Why are you going to come after the weebs, though? Honestly. The swords? The cosplay. Yeah, literally. Cosplay. You know what? I'm just going to test the waters.

Yeah, now my money. Fuck, fuck, blur him out. Just blur it. Yeah, pixel blur, we're good.

Oh, it's so silly. It makes no sense. Yeah. The new rules here, dude, the new rules are fucking ridiculous across the board. You just say, Hey, I think my favorite thing I didn't see was like how photos just don't matter anymore. Oh yeah. You have to do reels of a real, I like the amount of people I see posting videos of photos and I'm like, there's like, there's no purpose now. There's zero purpose to do a picture.

- Bro, look at how good my photo reel did. - We just get a new platform already, like a solid new platform that we can all just go

Go to you'll be the richest person in the entire universe Rumble bro, no not not what maybe they changed their fucking terms and everything Until then like no stay away. I get so many people in the stuff like Nico We know like you know everybody's like demonetize you like fucking everything so once you just go to rumble, and I'm like oh

So I can make like reach tens of quarter because they get to keep everything. Yeah. Tens of people. You're going to have like thousands of views. I went viral 1200 views on the viral page and just hit the front page. Like as much as everyone's like, well, if you all did it at once, it wouldn't fucking matter because your audience shirt, people have rumble, but rumble is not or any of these other platforms, whether you're talking about new Twitter alternatives like Mastodon or like,

Odyssey. Fuck. There's another one too. Odyssey is supposed to be the next YouTube on the web 3.0 platform. And all these platforms, they're just holy fuck. They weren't there when the internet fucking happened. And to get people to move to that.

There's no way to make it. You need it to be normal in Twitter, even Facebook for a certain generation, YouTube, TikTok. TikTok is our new generation. Look how bad that is. That's what you need. You need it to explode in a way. And even then, TikTok started out as what, Musical.ly? Yeah, Musical.ly. I remember all the old ads for Musical.ly. You can't be like, yeah, we're going to move. You can't do that.

You can't make it happen. It needs to organically explode. My favorite statement is, why don't you just create your own

Do you know how much fucking money that costs? Do you know how much that is? Just server the amount of money. Take care of everybody. You let alone the fucking legal team you need before you even go public. They were like, wait, it's like if you get five gun YouTubers together, you could create your own with what? What the fuck are we going to do? YouTube employs 2000 people.

The fuck you think six motherfuckers are gonna do? That's after it's milk. You have the 70s or some shit.

90s, I don't know, I don't know. - I was like, and Google owns it, and Google can pay for the fucking server space and everything else, and the cloud space. That shit's expensive. - It's so frustrating. We were like, well, if you all just banded together, that's like-- - No, you don't, you don't. - That's how you disappear all at once. - We're gonna band together, you come forward with the money, and we will do it. We will make it happen. - Why don't you guys just think of an alternative to yourself? Well, didn't, you know, there was a guy who did that, you know, with the fuel alternative and made a water engine.

- He's dead. - Assassinication, bro. He did his shit. - I just wanted to do the announcement videos. Like all the gun tours, all of us are like partnering together to do a new thing. And then it's like five months later, it's like, where are they now? We're homeless. We're like, - I tell everybody what's gonna happen is when that shit goes public, you're gonna look at your views. It's gonna say one or like two people 'cause the platforms

No, the platforms are going to blog all that shit, bro. What was the one IG? It was like the IG alternative that they just can't. Rose?

I have no I've never been hurt. I haven't heard of those like really this was a couple this is two years or he last no it's two years ago because everyone was trying to migrate and all the gun people and all that they're like oh this is our free space and then apple and google just took it off their playlist I thought that was rumble is it rumble I thought that was rumble because I remember hearing all that and I was like oh uh oh no there was one before and they just took it off they're like okay and they just they just took it off the platform and then people are like

- They're like, oh shit, they do run all of this. - Oh, we're dead in the water. - Free will is gone, you don't get like, yeah. You gotta be blessed off by all corporations now to make it. - Yeah, I don't know. - I told them earlier in the car, Betty, I was just like, the moment that YouTube took off the- - YouTube. - Broadcast yourself, the moment they took that away, everything started changing for the worse. - Guys, most of you are gonna be like, what the fuck are these idiots bitching about?

You do get to see Twitter. I do like Twitter. Think whatever Elon, but Twitter at least is like, he's like, Hey, fucking do whatever you want. And then he will try to implement stuff. But he listens very quickly on like, if there's outrage, he's like, Oh, done. Okay. We're not doing that. Sorry. As a business perspective, he, he knows a little bit what he, he just implemented. Now he goes like, Hey,

Twitter blue, you get a check mark, which now I hate by the way, because now anybody with like three subs, or three followers, I go, oh, who's this content creator with a blue check mark? And it's someone from Iowa with fucking five subs. Anyway. - Fuck Iowa! - But with that, he just added a new thing where he's like, oh, also if you get Twitter blue,

your maximum word count is like quadrupled. - 4,000 characters. - Yeah, 4,000 characters. - 4,000 characters. - So now people can actually like whine more on Twitter because they paid him to do it.

And I'm like, he winning. My man, my man. He winning. Like, he got hustled. Yeah, you got to play for your money. He knows how to get his money, bro. I'll stick with my Twitlongers, bro. I'm good. It's just like they just, everyone was going to, they're like, Twitter's dead. And he's like, no, it's fine. It was all that, like, Matt says. Then they come right back. Mr. Lizardman's like, JK, lol. It's fine.

- It's fast. It's compared to YouTube guidelines you don't know until they come out. - Oh, fuck! - Damn it, bro. - I got beef with one of these guidelines, bro.

- What's guidelines? Let's hear it. - There was one, they made an update. They made like a whole new system for the guidelines that was like, "Hey, listen, if we go, 'Hey, this is videos age restricted or demonetized,' whatever, we have to do it

at the exact timestamp and the exact reasoning why it's not allowed. And then we can go in as creators, cut that out, and then still be monetized. That lasted for six days. And then it was gone. Like it never existed. Yeah. And I'm like...

You had the key you had the ring. This is where that crazy conspiracy shit pops in though is they control who they want to succeed and who they don't and that's a big thing because if you don't have the money to stay monetized you're not going to keep being a YouTuber if you make no money. You got to go get a job. That's how they kick you off the platforms and all that shit. They de-platform you. They de-platform you. You get tated bro. Andrew tated. Then fucks.

- Well, no, that's not really YouTube. If he was entertaining, that'd be a pizzeria. - What? - That's how he got Twittered, bro. He got Twittered. - Yeah, he got tweeted, twatted. - He got twatted. - He didn't get swatted. - He got twatted. - Not swatted, twatted. - You guys heard that's how he got in jail, yeah, because that was the one thing he clapped back on Twitter against the freedom activist girl.

And he was like, it showed him doing a video in like a nice robe, smoking a cigar. And he just sat down on pizza. And he got pizza delivered. And everyone, and like the police were looking for Tate for allegations. And they're like, where is he? And they just looked at the side of the pizza box. And there's just like a large cluster of this one pizza chain all together, only in one city. And they're like,

- Got him. And so they just called up all the pizza places and was like, "Did Mr. Tate-" - Who ordered a pepperoni ham pizza? - Did he get pineapple on his pizza? Arrest him! - Bruh, shoot him in the ass. - That is crazy. - Breaking news! Manscaped now sells beard product!

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Yeah, it was sad though, bro. All that shit, like how people just like how they control it and just like control all creators lives and shit is scary. It's super scary. You guys get to see it with like the gun tube or all that shit that's happening right now where it's like overnight. It's like, oh, you can't screw on suppressors. You can't insert magazines. Yep. I couldn't even imagine how scary that would be.

Instagram, I don't even, I have sponsors for gun companies. Like I didn't go to SHOT Show 'cause work and everything. But also I said, I was like, I'm gonna get sponsors and then what? I post and kill my algorithm. So then I'm like, and look, you can't see me anymore because I- - No, no, I can't help you. - Yeah, I'm like, I'm not restricting my own stuff. Even for Unsob, that's why we don't do like,

Firearm content. It won't survive. You can't grow that way. Being a smaller channel, we're never going to grow if we do anything gun related. It's just crazy. You guys did it right. Yours is that perfect audience. Children? We got it.

- Ours is like, I think... - I'm one of the children. - 12 to 25? - I think it's like 10. No, not, I think more. Like 20% is like anywhere from like 13 to 17 and like that kind of range. But then like everything else is like adults. - Dismanied to 10.

- Disney plus. - We got extremely lucky 'cause it was like, VR was brand new. - The VR boom. - All that shit boomed in. And then now we were like, let's just do the group thing. And now that we can finally do stuff, we looked at some of the stuff that was like YouTube was cracking down on and we were like, I mean, if they can monetize Jackass, like we can do challenges, right?

should be fine. And the moment we started seeing nothing but greens, we were like, oh. Oh, yeah, boy. So we just teeter the line. Got it. So now we make sure we bleep words and everything like that. But now we can do stuff where it's like, you know, challenge. World's hottest ramen. Go in and Red Bull plane, see who can puke the least. Like,

Wait, did you do that? Yeah, it's one of our videos. Wait, what is it called? Hold on. Rewind. Now I need to know this video segment. What's the title? It's the...

I think it was the boys versus the girls video that we did. And it was... That's the boxing match one, right? No, this is the red ball. Oh, yeah. You're just beating the shit out of the girls. We called it... The boys get a plane. The boys get a plane six months ago, and it's a 2.2 mil. And you guys ate spicy ramen?

We went to a place for one video where it was one of the highest rated spicy ramen's in Adelaide, or not Adelaide, Sydney, I think, in Australia. And we went in there and he goes like, "Yeah, it's the hottest ramen we can make legally." And I'm like, "Okay." And we get these just the reddest broth I've ever seen. - That's why you have grout. - Yeah, and then we get like,

Whatever I'm over here like I grow up what you put in the tiles man, but

I'm over here going like... It's Eli's Hispanic nature cake and he's like, "It's a grout guy!" You need to tone the Mexicos down, okay? Yeah, those Mexicas are out of control, bro. Tone the Mexicos down. You've been watching too much Marvel, bro, frickin' eye grout. I know, I am grout. I love that little grout tree. I am grout. I am grout.

So you went red broth, red broth, and then the spiciest broth he could make. And then he came up. He's like, all right, you have three minutes to eat the entire ramen. Oh, and then here you go. And then he dropped a dropper in each one and just went.

and dropped it off. - That was the nuke going off. - That was the nuke, but we've done that stuff. We've done like the one chip challenge, plutonium nine. We did the one chip challenge and dipped it in plutonium nine. - But do you mean this is why you have GERD now? - No, no, no, 100%. - 100%. - And even though I had it, we just recently filmed in Florida where we made a tier list of 50 hot sauces.

oh okay and so i was that's a lot yeah so i i got to like i think a lot of menis 38 or 39 and then my body was like you're going into shock and i'm like okay so i i sat down and they filmed you dying it's literally the that's why i posted this freaking photo which is just

Awkward as shit. It's this photo right here of me just like dying on the couch. You're just like, I don't want to do this anymore. And they're filming in the background still with the tearless just like keep going and I'm just like...

I did the best I could. - They're proud of me, right? - Oh God, your friends are assholes. - But we also do stuff like- - I just wanna know, they're like, nah, I'm good. I'll like sit on the side if you want. I ain't fucking doing that shit. - And that's what we talked about too, but I was like- - But we also do stuff like drunk cooking. - Oh. - That's totally fine with YouTube guidelines.

As long as you blur out or just cut out like you're taking a shot, but you do the after effect. You slam it down. You just can't show you doing the shot. You just have to blur that. Why can we drink? Is this why we're getting age restricted? We do shots every day.

Hold on, because that's how we like open shows is like shots or cracking a thing. You crack it. That's fine. You're not you're not actively drinking alcohol. Oh, no, we are actively drinking lots of alcohol. Yeah, like active. Oh, well, yeah. Like usually if you're if it shows you like like just going to town with alcohol, they'll probably. I mean, this thing is normally.

The keg being destroyed and shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so you choose just like it's fine. They were taught it It's so weird that like certain channels can get away with stuff or that are like fine line, but this is the line Yeah, they're like do the Chinese thing with the eyes is fine, but We start fucking sensually fucking dancing and imitating intercourse and

Well, we talked about summoning salt. You know summoning salt? You've ever watched this shit? Summoning salt. He's the speedrun guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking phenomenal YouTuber. He does like hour segments. And he got flagged on his for a, it was eight cuss words in an hour long format. It wasn't him even saying it. It was clips of people speedruns. And he'd be like, oh, heck yeah, or hell yeah. And then one like fuck.

In an hour and 20 minute Mega Man segment. And he got flagged. And YouTube's like, oh, we messed up. Undid it. And then they're like, no, you broke community guidelines. And then he was like, wait. Angry video game nerd cusses. 30 times in 10 minutes. Yeah. Angry video games.

Well, his is like 88 cuss words per average video for angry video games nerds in like a short segment. And they were like, no, he's fine. And him though, they were like, nope, nope. So he had to, he took the video all the way down and then re-uploaded it three days later and it killed the fucking, I was like, oh fuck dude. That's my thing. If, and this is just, again, my preference or my opinion. If you upload a video, right? And then it gets,

you know, age-restricted or whatever, and you're like, oh, okay. What did I do wrong? They tell you. You fix it. Redo it. And then you're fine. That should be it. That should be the only fucking thing. If you tell me that you're demonetizing or age-restricting a video of mine, and then you tell me what's wrong, I fix it.

And then you come back later and completely demonetize it. When I followed your instructions to fix the video to a T, go fuck yourself. Get a new job. Yeah. Well, their quality control is shit. It's contractors. It's just contractors. It's just random fucking people. And this is a crazy thing. If people like...

based off of their beliefs, whatever they do or don't like. Yes. If they don't fuck with guns and you are being educational or you're teaching like firearm safety, you know, anything. They're proper good ways. They came for Ian. Yeah. They're like, ew, that's a gun demonetized. And it's like, what do you do? And then if they do a review and another person does that,

- What are you gonna do? - You gotta keep uploading it until you get lucky. - And like, listen, you don't wanna be, I just wanna cut it out with my phone.

But like, and being a YouTuber, you don't want to drag another YouTuber's content into your stuff. But at the same time, there's that little voice in your head that's like, okay, so I can't say a bad word or like X, Y, Z. But here's a link to this other person that did the exact same thing that you're completely fine with. Yeah. And for the people, like a good way to look at that is imagine you work a 40 hour workload.

- And you're like, done. You go to turn in, you turn in your paper. - He's like, I know none of you have jobs. - Yeah. - But imagine you did have one and you were working 40 hours a week. - You turn in your pig slip, your 40 hour work slip. - No, no. - And you're like, okay, here's my 40 hours. And then your boss is like, oh, you didn't do this one thing. So you don't get paid.

for any of the work you did. That is what happens. - Any of the work. - You are submitting something, you're like, "Dope, it's all done. "Okay, fuck, I spent 40 to 80 hours doing this." And then after, like, "Nope, you don't get paid for that." And that's terrifying to a lot of the guys. - Yeah, when I post a video and then they're like, "Hey, Nika, we demonetized this and you get $0." And I'm like,

Fuck and then I have a new video go out like two days later, and they're like hey We don't like the cursing you did in this one, so that one's I'm like okay So I've just made like three to four videos now dude and no views also when they do that your views are fuck that see that Down that's why all my views went down broke. They went back and took down dude Almost all my videos were like limited ads now, and I'm like really oh yeah, they're like you curse too much and I actually bleeped out all of my curse words for like the last like

eight months, six months of all my videos, people are like, "Oh, why are you doing that?" I'm like, "Bro, YouTube is really coming for my life." They do not fuck with me at all. And then they're like, "Oh, you're cursing too much." And I'm like, "Oh, I'm bleeping it all out though." They're like, "Yeah, but we..." This is what fucked me up. They're like, "We know you are cussing though, even though it's bleeped out." And I'm like, "What?" - I think you were the one who told them. - What? - We didn't know about that. - Yeah. - You had to cut the segment or some shit. - In full, almost. - In full. - And then it wasn't until some people on YouTube were like, "Oh, well, no, that Nico's not breaking the guidelines."

beep it had you have to literally cut the entire but no beat period no no just just no just comedic yeah and it's ever to get out of that you mother frenchers yeah you peepee heads like you yeah that's all my because now i have like 30 yellows all my videos and i'm like oh my god and they did to all my shorts too

Oh my god. The shorts are bad. Shorts they do. Well yeah because I post like 27 shorts a day just on like YouTube. So now I have like hundreds and hundreds of yellows over like almost probably close to a thousand yellows. So now all my long form and short form are just like on views and I'm like what do I do? I was like I have a very loving content and I don't go for nobody's throat. I'm like why are you fucking with me? I'm like whatever. I ain't going nowhere so.

YouTube is your fucking time. - I think that's one thing a lot of people don't talk about when it comes to content creation. Everyone hears us throw out the words demonetize, age-restricted. - Yeah. - The video goes yellow for us. It gives us a yellow icon. What that does, not only does it mean you don't make money on it, which everyone's always like, "Well, you do sponsors." Okay, you're right. - You get like $2. - But no, when we-- - From the YouTube ad. - From the YouTube ad. - Yeah. - When we fill sponsors in. But the biggest problem with a video being age-restricted, demonetized, it goes yellow, whatever the reason.

The reach, that video is no longer shown organically to anyone. Our subscribers, our people have to go and find our videos. We're not gonna get hit an algorithm. We're not gonna get picked up. We're not gonna gain any new viewers. No new viewers means no views. No views means as sponsors, nobody wants to come in, which means we don't get to continue doing this. That's like the biggest hit to all of this is what Nico's talking about right now. His views are tanking because all his videos are age-restricted. And once they see you getting tons of age-restricted videos,

Why are they going to put your videos in the algorithm? Why are you going to be picked up? Why are they going to recommend you to anybody? No new viewers means you just go down. Once you have a finite pool of viewers, which is one reason I never start gun stuff. Everyone's like, well, why don't you start guns? There is a finite pool of gun viewers. Gun tubers are struggling to grow on most platforms. So once you've used your gun tuber viewer platform, like,

Organically, you got nothing. Yep. Fuck you, Mr. Video game VR, the boys doing smart plays. As we sit here on a podcast and talk for an hour and 30 minutes, like we have a difficult. Yeah. You don't know. God, I wish it was that easy for us. Okay, that's the honor. Whatever, Mr. Go home and get paid to play Harry Potter. Exactly.

Exactly. I'm going to shut the fuck up now. It's like, I'm going to be quiet. But it is sketch. I mean, like, I don't... Watching the IG stuff now where I'm like, I don't even... Like, FN. I love FN. I will do content for them. It is so sketch how I'm trying to integrate their weapons into my skits without being like, gone. I'm like...

- I know, and I'm like, bye bye. - And they, dude. - Now deleted. - IG, when they black, like when you get shadow banned, that is. - Oh yeah, you wanna see what it looks like? 'Cause they leave a message now on your stuff. Like I have a message on my phone, I'll show you right now. It says, "Niko," it says, "We are not showing you organically on Reels." - Really? - Oh no, yeah, yeah, yeah, here, I'll show you. - That's new to me. I stopped posting gun stuff months ago. - January 1st, January 1st they said, "You're done." Or maybe a little bit into like December, they're like, "Oh, you're done." - Man, it'll be so great when you're 90 days up. - What were you saying, Nick?

Oh, just I got to do. I mean, just make it more kid friendly. Oh, yeah. Just put a little. I'm going to make a play. No pacifier. Just with the barrel. Just put like two little googly eyes, like a mustache and be like.

- I shoot 1.7 twist rate. - That is in the depths of your Instagram settings on your account. They literally tell you, your stuff will not be recommended. - What? - I've never seen this before. - Yeah, no, you literally, dude, I thought my content and everything, I thought I was falling off. I thought I was like, my content was shit. - Why is your phone so small?

Bitch, we talked about this! I got two phones, this is my tiny phone! Where's that ad? Oh, no. Tiny hands, don't blame it on your phone. Alright, so if you guys go into... Yes. So start by clicking on the "Go to your profile." Did that. Click on the top right, you know, the hamburger. Yup, hamburger. Then you're gonna click on "Settings." I love doing this during a pod. Okay, we go here. Go to account. You're like, "You're such a fucking old man." Go to "Hamburger." Yes, sir. That's called "Hamburger"?

- How did you not know it was a hamburger? - Settings, and then you click on account. - Account. - And then you click on account status. - Account status. - And then it'll be in there. - Ha! Double greens. - Damn, yup.

I got yellow, yellow. I got double greens, baby. Wait, you're double green, Batty. What are you? Green and a yellow because I have a in-review comment from March 24th, 2027. Yep, and they will fuck you on that. You will...

Until forever be have a slight little bit of fucking you know what the comment is well It's probably something stupid cuz I've had it for me tagging somebody and say gotta break that neck because it was me Showing my I was doing this and so he's look like like oh, man you bring that I might break that neck. Oh my god It's the fucking the Call of Duty skit. Yeah Yeah, and and so if you guys wondering why your views and shit went down I

Wait, so I have to remove this completely? No, it's set. I have no idea how to get rid of it. That's wild. Unless you have an appeal button or something. Well, they say this content can't be recommended to non-followers. Do I just edit, remove this post, or disagree with decision? See, I don't have those options. I just have seek community guidelines, and mine says closed. Dang. I've been trying to get the freaking check mark on this.

Okay, my record. It's impossible now. Yeah. Actually, you have a chance to get one. I've done it three times. You have to have actual, like, if you can get, like, your famous birthdays and, like, two news articles, you'll be good. Yeah. That's why I got one. Two valid, valid news articles. That's probably one of the best. You can't just show you have a following. You have to have been documented by a validated, like, company and or news outlet. I did a...

I did a freaking magazine piece when my YouTube was just starting in Dallas a long time ago. I could probably grab that. And then you just need one more. And if you have famous birthdays or something like that, which is a mediocre source, it's usually good once you have those three. Just something that's like, oh, somebody's put your fucking name somewhere online. I actually just had some random freaking...

I think it was a tweet or an email, I can't remember. But it was like, "Congratulations, your narrator on living 10,000 days." And I was like, "Huh, what?" - Am I in a game? You're in a Japanese anime? - Achievement unlocked. - I actually Googled it and I was like, "If my birthday is September 15th, 1995, I just got this email, is it actually?" And it was actually 10,000 days. And I'm like, "What the fuck?"

Who are you? The chase has begun. You have accumulated 10,000 days. 9,999. You're a month older than me. Yeah. A month older than me.

Respect you both. I know you guys are both little babies. I'm turning 40 and I'm turning like 39 to this fuck. Oh, yeah. How's your neck? My neck hurts so bad, dude. It's not. And it's not a one day. It's not two days. Oh, it gets worse. Last week, I couldn't look left. I had to do this because I slept wrong. This week, I went to hug my girl. I did this and I turned my head at the same time and it was like...

I fell over. It hurts so bad, dude. Isn't it weird to think you used to sleep on rocks and in my eyes, you're like all fucked up like this and shit. And now you're like, I can't, I can't look left. On your thousand dollar pillows and your multi-thousand dollar bed, you have like a fucking pillow. We are living on clouds, just rich clouds. And you're just like,

- They're like rolling you off the bed sideways. - How old are you turning this year? - 38. - God damn, you're old. - I turned 33 in a week. - I can't even sleep without-- - Okay, you're still cute though, bro, it's fine. - Thank you. - The elevated pillow. - I have to have like, when I set my pillow up, I'm like, okay.

- Bro, I sleep on the floor half the time. - Really? - That doesn't surprise me. You got PTSD or some shit you hide from. - He's under the bed. - Bro, I sleep like shoulder touching the bed, bro. 'Cause I like, I bro, you all think I'm a freak on drugs. 'Cause I feel like people are like watching me and shit. - This doesn't surprise me. - I just feel comfortable like being like low to the ground. I'm sleeping on like a hard surface. It feels good like on my back. 'Cause my back is like fucked up. - Do you see a therapist? - Yeah, they're like, "You fucked up."

- God damn it, okay. - They're like, you got PTSD for sure. And I'm like, I fucking know this. - Where's your 1911? - It is, I'm sleeping like this.

It's like this. I figured it was right. It was just there. You're one of those Japanese onsen or whatever. The beds are just like flat on the floor. Oh, they roll out? Oh, yeah. No, he's on the carpet. It's just a carpet. No, no, bitch. The floor now is fucking... Bitch, my shit is white tile, white marble tile on the ground. So I just be sleeping on that and I got like a sheet or a blanket over me. I'm a freak, bro. You're a menace, bro. I'm a menace. You would love to visit Japan.

Wearing black Air Forces, I was born a menace, okay? Oh, my God. You would love Japan. When you get your Airbnbs in Japan, they are going to roll out. Remember when I stole your shoe? Yeah. First time I met you, I mailed that shit to Australia. How much did that shoe make? Two grand. Oh, yeah. No, well, I sold one shoe was sold for like two grand. The other shoe sold for like $1,700. Yeah, it was a lot. Yeah, left shoe was $2,000. You sold it for it. Am I right? He came on the podcast after he flew here from Australia.

- Hey, there you go. - I was like, you took your shoe, how much people signed it, and they mailed that shit to fucking Australia. - Yeah, I forgot. That charity stream, you'll have to do it, 'cause it was his first time us meeting. - Yeah, it was the first time. - We've done it, and then we were like,

our community's fucking tossed money and we get drunk as shit that day and then we walk in like that was the first time meeting him and his community literally talking about this today at the range yeah i was walking over to nico's like how much you raised he had like six thousand i was like oh so this is the poor community got it because we me and my team my community was like

- Say that to me, Nico. - What? - Ain't nobody beat me. - Yeah, Batty got first. - Yeah, I also only had like 90,000 subs on YouTube at the time and was like the smallest of small dude. - You had like fucking 800,000 followers. No, you had over a million on goddamn TikTok. - He had three on TikTok at that time.

- 1.7 on TikTok. - I had 100,000, if not less, on Twitch. - I never streamed! - I just started streaming! - Twitch! - Let's get ready to rumble! - They just start jerking each other off. - My charity cock's bigger than your charity cock!

Yeah, because I went there the next day you know I raised this much like bitch you beat me cuz I've always liked a second or third yeah, and then I was like it like I don't know when you made that comment We were at like five thousand six thousand dollars, and then the next one you came in like what y'all's I was like 36,000 I was like what cuz I was like man. I did like 20 something thousand like dope and

This isn't a day and a half. We usually, we just go normally. We do like 12 hours, but Nico, me and Nick, I stayed to like, you stayed like somewhat close. I was still like, I was still going nuts. So I stayed to like three or 4 a.m. Yeah. And then Matt said, uh, you, he came the next morning and you're still screaming or some shit. I was like,

Thanks for the donation. Can I get some pepper? We go hard for this campaign. We do. We try. We try. I was like, well, I can do one good thing with my life, I guess. Just one. Yeah. That's some good karma. That's the one we want to do this. It doesn't make up for all the bad stuff. No, it doesn't. I'll do a good thing. Whatever. We just do one good thing. Yeah. It barely scratches the iceberg. It doesn't matter. There's no coming back. It doesn't matter about how much good and how much bad. It's which one you did before you kicked the bucket.

- Oh, so I'm gonna be a dickhead now. - I'm gonna Ryan Reynolds myself right after a charity event. - Right after the charity event. - It's like, good job guys. - We're like, wow, he's going to heaven for sure. - Good luck with that. I don't know how you're gonna edit that the right way. - Apparently he needed the boot campaign. - 21.

- That shit was fucking... - God, that was a pretty wild time to just meet somebody. You just showed up and we got pissed drunk and started smashing chairs. - Yeah, I was literally about to be like, we just throwing, breaking chairs and shit. - I don't know how we didn't break that fucking TV. We had that one joke on TV. - Oh, to the right, that had everybody's scores and shit up on there. - Dude, we were smashing chairs and shit. - Oh, this is an event. Like a once a year event, brother.

I literally put a chair on. No. I love it. I like that. Hendo came in from EK Fluid and he was like, I know how to drink. And then he was passed out by like 2 p.m. He's like...

- He's like, "You guys drink way more than I thought was possible." - We're all retarded veterans. - We just drink alcohol and yell. - You're really good at it. - Our livers are built different. - Yeah. - They're not built. - They're dead. - They're dying material. - Yeah. - Mine's gone. - They're like, "Sluice, no! No!" - Oh God, that was fun though. Yeah, it was interesting meeting everybody for the first time, for sure. - And now we hang out too much.

Yeah, like three times a year. It's too much. I need to go one time this year. Just just wait until that fucking table gets to my house. Oh, yeah, we got what? So he's a D&D nerd and I'm a D&D nerd. We're currently both flexing our D&D cocks and he's going with a sexy, huge D&D nerd table. Like a cranking like it's like or if you want to go.

Okay, that's interesting. It's like crazy medieval shit. It's going in the upper floor and I'm replacing all the carpet up there with the same wood that I have throughout the house, but I'm also turning all the walls. I'm going to hang LED torches. It's going to be a tavern in that room. Dude, that's a lot of content to be made when this fucking movie comes out. That shit is going to be too cool.

That's the thing. And the best part is up there, it already has a built-in wet bar. So that is like the tavern's drinking area. It has a wet bar built in. Okay, I didn't know that part. He's like, listen, we can go to your house. Hold the fuck on. You got a wet bar up there? What? Yeah.

Yeah, it'll be fun. I just ordered a new like a medieval chandelier like a I have my gotta get it installed still haven't found a contractor to come put it in. I have. Dude there's so much work installing all those motherfuckers. Really? It's like chains and shit like from my ceiling. Yeah. Things fucking huge. It's nuts man. Just paying for shipping basically the whole time just all this heavy ass shit that's gonna be expensive. How much was that to ship or did they just drop it off? Edge woodwork from Vermont. Thank you man. Alright.

All right. There you go. All right. Ship that to me. They, they may. So I found a guy who actually, he found me cause he knew I was from Vermont. I had just moved to Texas and he made it. I would say I had to move with it, but he made it, did all this fucking lined it with led. So he can like pop open the tiles and change out the strip colors. Oh, that's cool. But,

Yeah, I mean, fuck you. But it's lined with metal cages for the bulbs and it's all built with Philly t-shirts. Oh my God. Shout out to, I forgot your name on Etsy.

Yeah, oh did you pay though or did you not pay no of course I paid okay, then fuck him Yeah, you know oh me anything Unless they were like yeah, just give me a shout out and your one opportunity for the shot What you're like whatever your name is on it? He's been asking so I get this goddamn question. I see in our comments. We are gonna do D&D stuff and

Give us time. We're working on it. It's going to happen. Everybody's been asking for it. I know. It's a lot of work. Thousand points of light. It's coming. It's a lot of fucking work. No, this is easy stuff. We just set up cameras and forget to hit play on one of them. The easy stuff.

That's like that like in my head. I'm just like oh, this is okay I gotta just prep everything and plan it and light it okay It's gonna be a lot of fucking to make it look good now. Is there way are we missing a light? Was there a light off the comments on this news video people like all couple of lights were out. Oh, bro That's a great troll. No. No, I'm looking I just realized I didn't see anything I literally just saw the right as you were talking about a mystery flicker went he flickers. Yeah, I should be good. Oh

Now I gotta look at the newest episode. Hold on. There was a lot of comments being like, oh, lights are out. And I'm like, which lights? Which one? Are they fucking with us? Oh, y'all motherfuckers. I'm telling you, man. Uh-oh. Sons of bitches. I don't know. Thank you for watching this podcast. As always, Eli, don't tip myself about his dreams. And our two wonderful, beautiful, strong, powerful. Look at our hair guests, Nico Ortiz and your narrator. Where can we find you beautiful boys at? Nico live on YouTube.

Uh, your narrator or the boys on YouTube? Hi. Thank you for the Patreon after show. Uh, you can Patreon unsubscribe podcast. Um, we're going to talk about their dicks and balls after. Oh my God. Finally. Okay. So mine kind of curves. Yeah.