cover of episode 76 - Goin Down Under ft. Pestily

76 - Goin Down Under ft. Pestily

Publish Date: 2022/10/19
logo of podcast Unsubscribe Podcast

Unsubscribe Podcast

Chapters

Shownotes Transcript

See testy one two testicles. Thank you testicles. Yes. Yes. Yes. One two three. One two three test test test. Oh, this is me. Perfect. You just kind of hair. Hello. This is my voice today. Guys. Welcome. We have Twitch can't happen. I should do have like a deeper voice at the moment because the Twitch can't. It's like it's refreshing my voice. Good. The raspberry or the. Just get it ready. Oh shit. Oh shit.

We ready? Three, two, one. And then we take a sip. Oh my god. Dude. Okay, how do we start this? What? Are we starting it already? Yeah. We're live. Say hi to Eli. His racially ambiguous daddy. That guy's fucking ridiculous. Donut.

It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to unsubscribe. Hey, guys. Thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or...

That's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah. Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating.

And that's where the, you come, that is. Come subscribe. Hi everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here. I'm joined today by Eli double fat, batty streams and pastille pestily pest, the biggest wiener in Australia. It's pretty rad. Crocodile Dundee himself. Crocodile Dundick. Dundick. What did you say?

We'll add subtitles. Crocodile dundick. There it is. Please add subtitles. Fuck, we have no idea what this man says. He's just questioning marks underneath. We went to the range today and he's like, I don't know, a gun. And we're like, okay, you're a gun. He was upside down shooting. It was weird. It's so crazy. He was just floating. It's Australia joke, Batty. Oh, because it's upside down. Sorry to the viewers out there. We have to explain our jokes to Batty. Wait, is he upside down or does he shoot the gun? Like, what does Batty do?

That would have been way better. You'd be great on Demo Ranch. Oh, we could have done a skit or something on that. Him shooting them upside down. I'm going to just hold me by the feet. Hold me by the ankles and just like... I like shooting upside down gun or I just green screen you real quick and I have him floating around. I'm like, what the fuck is he doing? Oh, man. This is how we train. This is what he learned. Hi, how...

Welcome. Thank you. Welcome. How's it going? Great. So you're known for Crocodile Dundee 1, Crocodile Dundee 2. I didn't read much. I love that scene. Is that your only Australian joke? Crocodile Dundee? Is that all you got? And Outback, which we took them to. They turned it down, but we offered to take it. I was like, we're going to Outback. And I'm like, we are from the Outback. I was like,

Steakhouse. Thank you. Have you had shitty steak before? Let me tell you about the Bloomin' Onion, guys. It's fresh off the barbie. Is that what it's called? The barbie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I was a little bit lost. You're like, fresh off the bar. B. We're all lost. So tell us about the emus. We lost that wall. That's a real fucking thing.

It's a joke. Is it? See, I don't know! Huh, Sam? If you look it up on the internet, it's like a full story behind it, but it's not real. Okay, maybe it's real. I see why I'm confused. I'm not just an idiot, but like... Life is a lie. It's like drop bears. Koalas. Right? They're the exact same thing. What'd you say? Drop bears. Drop bears? Yeah. What's that? It's koalas, but it actually is... People make it try and make it scary, so they say watch out for the drop bears. Will they hurt you?

Why are they called drop bears? They drop out of the trees? They're not real. They're like a snipe. Every Australian that's listening to this right now is dying laughing. They're snipes. They're Australian snipes. Let's go with yes. You know what a snipe is? No idea. You tell kids to walk around with a smack stick together and you be like, it's going to draw the snipe so you have little kids do it. So they fuck off. What's it look like? You'll know when you see it, young man.

They just wave those sticks around. Batty was doing this six months ago. He was at Walmart getting a hundred bucks. I've never been so lost in conversation. I trusted you, Cody and Eli. I don't know what this means. I just picture you're out in the woods. I trusted the 36 years old. It's just lost. It's midnight. He's like nods on just smacking fucking sticks. It's like they're here. Eli said it was so...

You've never heard of this, Batty? No. What the fuck childhood did you have? Not as poor as yours. We had sticks and tacos. I had sticks and that was it, apparently. And words. Not good ones. Snipe. Fuck. Man, no. Okay, so Drop Bear is the Australian one. Is that what it comes from? It's just a fucking... Yeah, it's just to scare people, the tourists. It's like...

I'm not trying to stereotype here, but everyone like says like, you know, in America you'll get shot. It's kind of like our version of that. Like everyone's afraid of the snakes, the spiders, the drop bears, crocodiles. Crocodiles would be the only thing I'd be afraid of in Australia. Like I would not go swimming in a river in the Northern parts of Australia.

You would die. 100%. What about the fucking tiny little jellyfish that murdered a bunch of people? And they didn't know. That's my favorite story. They don't fuck you up. They won't kill you. No, they're little ones that do kill you. There's little ones that kill you? I think they just fuck you up. Are those the ones that go in your pee hole? Do you want me to pee on you right now? Are you okay? Reverse semen? Jellyfish that go in...

Just burning as it goes out. The freshwater jellyfish come out. The saltwater jellyfish go in. It's in my balls. Oh, no. My balls are on fire. Pee on them. I hate Australia. This is the...

- Okay. - Today's taking a turn already. I'm sorry. - Isn't that what you always talk about? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, see, Batty? - We're right on target, five, six minutes in, come. - First part down. Now we can talk about, what game is it you play? - Sky from Tonka. We're not talking about that. - Okay, good, thank God. - This is not a gaming podcast, or it is. - Well, gaming.

It's like what else do you do for fun though you like because right now you're you're you're doing your videos You did we went to the gun range today. Yeah, we shot every gun in Tarkov pretty much It was actually quite impressive how many you guys have as a collection between you all that was the biggest range day We've had I think a long time. Yeah, we all brought out our guns. Oh

That was like everyone brought out guns for that. So that was like a big like, hey, we're having a good time. Matt wasn't there for that shit either. So it was it could have been both mats could have brought their stuff. That would have been a long. It was already quite long. I was like, well, doing the math before I forget 50 guns. It's going to take three minutes a gun. That's two and a half hours of shooting.

But I think we had more than 50 at the end. I think we got to about 80. Well, I seen you were at first you were like loading full mags. It was like put 10 in each. I was like, I don't think they know how long that's going to take. Also it's expensive. I was like, just cut a lot of the stuff away. Let's just get the footage of shooting them all. And then worry about the rest of it later and B roll it all. And just talk over. It would have been like a six hour day of just straight shooting. We literally shot.

80 guns. Well, I mean, when we all went and hung out with demo Matt, when he brought out every one of his guns, everyone's like, well, why didn't you shoot every gun? It's like, we have 400 feet of guns lined up right now. What do you mean? Why? But,

But the funny thing is he went back and did it, and it took him like an hour and a half or something. To fire like one round? Yeah, he got one shot from each gun and just said a little something about them. And there was, how many guns was that? A hundred and something. It was like. Yeah, the end video was like an hour or something in length. But it ended up getting like a couple million views, so. And people stayed for the entire fucking time. And he was like, for real, this is, you guys signed up to just want to see like, pfft.

I got it from my mom. Next one. It's a nine mil. He's like, I found this one. He probably called all of us. He's like, are you sure I should do this? And we're all like, yes, fucking do it, dude. Ended up getting like six or seven million views or something crazy like that. And it's an hour and a half. So there's mid rolls every eight minutes. And he was pissed because he didn't do it in December. He's like, fuck, I should have done it. You remember? It was hot. Yeah, it was hot as shit. It was awesome. The mid rolls were CPMs during.

Yeah. Your holidays, your holiday. People at home, your ads always pay more around the holiday times for like YouTubers and stuff. So yeah,

That's why there'll be a lot of content coming around that time. Now it makes way more sense. It's like, why do people push so much content around December? Oh, they like money. The paychecks. It's actually starting about now. Now's about the time to start picking it up. Yep. Because we got Black Friday. We got all those like American holidays. Yep. Thanksgiving. Have you done Thanksgiving? I know. Have you ever done a Thanksgiving? No, never in my life. You want to come back for Thanksgiving?

You're a flyback for one day. I'm fucking overflying. We had to fly two flights from San Diego to here. There was 18 hours of flying from Australia to San Francisco. I'm done with flying. 18? Five flights for me to get home from here. Five? Yeah. Fuck that shit. From here? Okay. San Antonio to? Somewhere. Dallas probably. And then somewhere to San Fran. And then San Fran to Australia. Sorry, it's four flights.

And then San Fran to Melbourne, Melbourne to Adelaide. Four flights I've got to get to get home. But the last leg, you said it's 18 hours? The big one across the Pacific. I lose a whole day. I leave on Thursday lunchtime or Thursday afternoon. And then we hit the Pacific somewhere in the nighttime. And then Friday doesn't exist.

And I arrived on a Saturday. I'm not even joking. It's just not there anymore. But you flew here. It was on a Monday. You took off at like noon and got here on noon. I left at 10 a.m. on Monday and I arrived at 10 a.m. on Monday. I hate time. Time is wishy-washy. Nah.

It's so random. You're like, no time has passed. If I stay on this plane, I am immortal. That's not how it works. There's a Stephen King movie. The Langoliers or something? Oh, yeah, where they go up. They go through a portal or some shit in the sky, and then there's all these... The Munchie monsters. Yeah, the three. There's like the three. The time that's left behind, they accidentally went back in time. I forgot about that shit. It was a weird fucking movie. They used to terrify me. It was on the SyFy channel every day when I was...

Little guy. Ever seen that? Never. Now I just want to deep dive into your background of what cartoons did you grow up with? That's why you were about the same age. How old are your cartoons, sir? Well, the oldest ones I can remember is like Roger Ramjet. Roger Ramjet? Yeah, Roger Ramjet's huge in America. Was it? I don't know. Roger Rabbit? Did you have Rugrats? Roger Rabbit? So Nickelodeon, you guys have Nickelodeon when you were growing up? That's like pay TV. I had normal TV.

It was free. Okay, question? Yes. Okay, thank you. You have to call at me. You have to point at me. Thank you. Is it Roger Rabbit or Roger Ramjet? I don't know. Was it a rabbit? No, it was something like...

Dude that used to have like a rocket ship. Oh, then never mind. That's probably not it. I hope he didn't watch that cartoon. That is not a cartoon. Don't Google that. Roger Ramrod isn't what he watched when he was a kid. He's doing some Ramrodding. Wait, Roger Ram what? Roger Ram. Jet. Ramjet.

Oh yeah, that's the thing. That's the oldest one I can remember. Oh, that's old as shit. Holy shit. Wait, you had to watch, that is definitely free, that's free TV right there. That is free cable. I remember like Tom and Jerry and stuff like that. But we had this thing on in the morning called Agro's Cartoon Connection. And I shit you not, there was like an old fella that used to hold a puppet and this like young chick, used to be like between 16 and 19.

And he was like the seediest motherfucker out there. Like we're talking. He'd be like touching her leg and shit during the show and all that. Wait, what show is this? Called Agro's Cartoon Connection. That sounds super weird. And there's like, if you look up on YouTube, there's like videos from like the 1980s. Oh, no. And it's just like all these seedy jokes that he's saying during the show. Do you see this is the... What TV shows did you also have? Like, okay, you had your kid cartoons. Then you had your fucking...

Chomo ones. Old man touching little kids shows. Great quality time. We had Mr. Rogers. You had pedophile Rogers. Oh, that is a creepy fucking. Yeah. It was the period. Oh, he was holding the puppet and her leg. So, okay. So the guy operating the puppet, he was, he was, he was doing a little sexual assault on the side there. Okay. Oh, there he is.

- He's in jail now, right? - I don't know. - He's got it. - I got no idea. I lost track of it, but. - It looks like prison khakis. - I thought he was a prison khaki. - They let him take his puppet to get rid of it. - But that is the most shady looking fucking thing ever. - Yeah, that was a bit whack. I don't know, growing up, I had Pokemon and stuff like that. Dragon Ball Z was big. I can't think of anything else.

Then that's it. You had Toonami? No. It was paid TV probably. Wait, how did you watch Dragon Ball Z if you didn't have... Free. What? We had to have cable to watch. There's like five channels, really three channels in Australia. And one of them had cartoons on it most of the mornings. That's fucking different. Wait. And Pokemon, Dragon Ball Z. And your parents were like, no, we're not getting cable. Expensive. But how poor... I grew up poor.

I mean, I didn't like cable either. We were like, well, I eventually got cable, but now I'm actually wondering, did we had the little slider thing, but I had like 30 channels that cable had 12 channels. We had like four.

I know. Yeah. Now I'm confused because we had like seven people in a two bedroom house. Great times. Dirt floors. Pretty much tacos spilling out when you open the front door. It was disgusting. It's just Mexican. People drive by like, wait, do you know what beaner means? A what? I don't know.

Have I just walked into something? Don't say it. As long as you don't say it. But say it with venom and look at me. I've been slowly getting through all your older podcasts and last time, aren't you meant to be like Filipino or something? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And Mexican. Oh, he can speak Indonesian. Indonesian.

What? Why? I don't know. He did a class and I was hoping that like he's doing all the classes and they're like, you can speak Indonesian now. He's like, I just picture you walking in and just doing a terrible Chinese accent. Like I'm fluent in it now.

Oh my God. My name is, uh, Pestilli. Okay. Okay. Come on. Okay. Yes. Went to class in the army. Now very certified to talk. He's so talented. Listen to him. How did you get that accent? Obviously. How? Yeah. How'd you get yours? Exactly.

Same. That's how we speak. That's normal. Yeah. Just the cover is my normal voice. I just walk around like that all day. And then I turn it off. Oh my God. Get home. So stressful day. Hey guys, how's it doing? That's canon in my head. Now that's how you speak. Yeah. That's my normal voice. Poor Sav is like.

Oh, you look so sexy in your outfit, baby. Come give me that pussy. Oh, you know, I like it rough, baby. Have you seen that emotional damage guy? Emotional damage. That's all I'm thinking the whole time. That one guy is just doing everything you said right there. Have you seen that full skit? He's like at a restaurant or something or his fast food takeout.

The entire skits thick they're so good it starts with it's him doing the Dark Souls It's like if Dark Souls was IRL and it was just him walking. He's like a leaf touch you Man now I just want to do like we Know like beaner the word is beaner. What does that mean to you?

Without saying the word. But what is it? I don't know. We just have a list of words. We're like, okay, he got that one right. That was weird. He got it right. If you don't see us saying it on the side of the table, that's the minority side of the table. I went to America and got canceled. Sorry, what you should do is every time you have a guest here, just have a big wall of words. And there's random words that no one would know that's from here or not around here. I will say, uh,

uh fat electrician when i thought i would catch him off guard it's like your least favorite race like what's your least favorite race and he was like i don't know marathons like you had a great save there oh man that man was quick so quick it's crazy though i didn't even think about that like he's not gonna know a lot of like the american terminology for that and i guarantee we would not know any of your if you asked a certain words that we'd be like

Say it. Can I say it? Y'all got a weird word for afternoon, right? Arvo. Yeah. What the fuck? We just shorten every word. So afternoon's Arvo. You said brekkie the other day. Yeah. Brekkie? Brekkie pee. You make brekkie pee. That's a normal thing. I make brekkie pee. So brekkie's breakfast. But that's like... It's right after tea. You're the first person I've ever heard outside of Australia say it like normally. Brekkie? Yeah.

Yeah, I guess it's not like a common thing around here, but I'm always, I don't know. I saw it on an Australian show one time, I think. What are you doing after tea? Tea is dinner, right? What's the word for dinner? I would say, oh yeah, tea. I would say tea is dinner. Yeah. Dinner? What, really? Yeah, the word tea, you just say tea. Dinner? Tea time. Yep, dinner time. I was like so confused because we were watching, what's the Australian show? In Between? Yeah. Mr. In Between? No, I don't know it. What? It's an Australian show. I don't know.

It's super good. Yeah, there's a lot of American shows. I don't know. I can't really. Friends? Wait, you haven't heard of this one Australian show? How dare you? That's the only one we know. That's the only one we know. Yeah, when you were talking about gun laws over there and all I was thinking about was Mr. Inbetween. It's like a criminal in Australia and he just kills the fuck out of people. I don't think anyone knows that.

They're looking she's looking at me like not wait none of you seen mr. In-between so it's more of an American thing and you've never been to Outback Steakhouse Bullshit what is an Outback Steakhouse in Australia?

There's a place called Outback Jack's, which is just like a steakhouse. Okay. An Outback Steakhouse would just be a steakhouse. Do you have Applebee's? No one has Applebee's. Okay. I love America's like Outback Steakhouse. It's Australia. Do you guys have... He's going to say Foster's. No, Bloomin' Onion.

Deep-fried onion, it's a deep-fried onion. They just kind of pop open. We just call that a deep-fried onion That's just an onion ring We call them onion rings we have those two

Is it not the same? No. Because it looks like a flower. Together. You know, you chop them up and you get rings. Pull it up. It's just like, it's like a, they chop it so it pops open. The onion's still attached. No, it's not that. Different. Blooming onion. It's blooming. Don't use the hard G on that. So, and it's a. Yeah, no.

Are you sure? Yeah, no. It's from Australia. I use like one of those apple cutters. Oh, we should have got. And then they fry it. Oh, I should have got Foster's. No one in Australia drinks Foster's. No one. I think they do. No, I can tell you they don't. Listen, I know what American TV told me. Growing up.

I saw a lot of commercials about the Austrian. Don't tell me I'm wrong. They used to make commercials in the 90s. Did they have commercials in Australia where it's like, Coors Light, it's American for beer. It's a guy who's just shooting a can over his head. America! But an Australian accent. The can's like this big. Everything's bigger here. That's actually a funny idea though. It's like, hey man, you got a bottle opener? Just blow the cap off, pass it back. What the fuck? If you had Texas Light, it's delicious.

Literally what it would be called. Yeah, you can add Australia's fastest. What do you drink? What's the go-to beer? I normally just have James Squire, which is more of like an Australian. It's almost like a craft beer. It's still pretty popular. But the Greater Northern is probably the go-to for majority of Australians now, which is you guys are like, what the fuck is that? Yeah. You know, 4X, VB. You'd have to know VB.

You're just making up words and throwing them. I've heard of VD. You know Thorax? Thorax? Is that what you said? No. Forex? Forex. Forex. Oh, see, I'm... You don't understand me, do you? Like, I'm... I have a mustache, man. Yo, you ever heard of Thorax with that DB? Yeah, man. No, VB is like Victoria Bitter. That is like the staple of shine beer.

What's it guys? 6am in the fucking morning, time for a VB long neck. Have you not seen that? Why would I have seen that? No, that's like a, like, everyone knows that. It's like a YouTube video. It's like a guy like everyone in Australia, 8am in the morning, 8am in the fucking morning, time for a VB long neck. Can you just talk like that the rest of the time? That's awesome.

I can understand it better actually. You're trying to pronounce my words. There we go. If he has to talk like that, you have to go back to... Okay, okay, deal. Right here we have an American white core. Can't say it like Black Cherry.

Wait, can you do an American accent? Oh yeah. Yeah. No, I can't. You can try it. No, I can't try to do. And every time I've done it, people laugh at me. I mean, we're going to laugh at you. Do a Southern accent. Just ask with the drawl.

Do a southern accent and just act with the draw. That's actually pretty good. There we go. I'm from Texas. There you go. See, that's actually, especially with that hot sauce. I mean, with that mustache, dude, I want you to trick somebody for three seconds. You're close to say, I hate Mexicans. Don't look at them when you do it. Yeah.

- Say the word now. - You got the accent, it's cute. - It's a track, it's all a track. - It's a track. - Fluk, just put the camera on me, we'll ADR a bleep in there and I'll be like, you asshole. Good, we got him kissed. - It's just really bad. - Jesus. - Camera cuts to me, it's like, boiner. - You can get a demo ranch festily now. - I know, demo. - So apparently the audio version of that

Harley was talking about it. It doesn't show if you just listen to the audio version on Spotify or whatever. It just says the kittens. It says kittens. It doesn't bleep it out on Spotify.

that version, but when you watch it on YouTube, so then I showed Harley the YouTube version. He's like, oh man, that gets way more spicy. We had Demo Matt on the podcast. He was obviously a vet before. Yeah, it was the last one. Oh yeah, you saw that whole skit then? I fell asleep on the flight listening to it, but yeah. He said he lasted three minutes. He was like, good job. Three minutes? You got your minutes watched, don't worry.

My drool hit the pause button. God, man. Okay, speaking of words. Oh, boy. I know. I hate when Eli, he gets these little segments. He's like, speaking of. I mean, you got to fucking do it because we have like. What? Like Katie's ass, all those normal words. Is there any like special words in Australia? Yeah.

Can I say cunt? Yeah. Yeah. You guys say it really bad. That's what I'm saying. I want it. And when Australians say it, it sounds so good. What's going on, cunt? Yeah, such a bad word over here, dude. Yeah, but you guys say it really harsh. Like, we can't. Oh, how do you say it? Fuck you, cunt. Like, you guys do it like that. That's like visceral.

Yeah. Hey, what's up? You fucking. I love you. Yeah, you're right. Hey, cunt. Don't be a shit cunt. See, we there. There it is.

We have two syllables. This episode just turned red from the amount of cunt we just dropped. Cunt. We do two syllables. You guys are cunt. There's a difference between being a mad cunt and being a shit cunt. And you want to be a mad cunt. You don't want to be a shit cunt. Yeah, no one likes a shit cunt. Mad cunt? Wait, he's a mad cunt? Mad cunt's good. What's a mad cunt?

As in like, you're sick. You're awesome. Okay. You went, you're angry. You have a flu, but you're awesome. Now I got, now I'm sure you don't want to be a shit cunt. No. I'm on board with that. I get that. That makes sense. You don't want to be a dude. I talked to the slush way more than I should. What's up? Doodoo pussy. You don't want to be a doodoo pussy. That's shit cunt. Yeah.

Just the next shirts do do pussy What's up, dude? Demos gonna love we can make that sure and you idiots would fucking wear Hints why I'm wearing a shirt this says if I die banana in Japanese now and then we have the English version, too So hey guys, we just put out a new shirt on bunker branding. It's if I die

Banana. Because Eli's a fucking idiot. Okay, first off, those texts were very bad on you. It was an emoji. You couldn't read an emoji. Yeah, but you're... It was just a fucking emoji. You're like, I just did... I changed my medications for my migraines and I was like, this may kill me. And I put the salute. No, you didn't. If I die... You said that and then I was like, yeah, okay, but like podcasting and you're like, if I die, banana. I was like... It's a salute. The word banana was never there. I didn't know that emoji existed at the time, Batty.

Yeah, there's a new salute emoji. Yeah, yeah, I've seen that, but it's not a banana. Yeah, Eli thought it was a fucking banana. I thought it was a purple heart. I thought it was a banana. I'm not the smartest cookie in the basket. Purple heart parking at BJ's. You gotta, we're parked just like 20 feet away from you. Be like, oh yeah, I'm right here. Dude, it was like, handicap spot, purple heart. And then the old people spots.

I was like, now's my chance. Show off to the boy. I was so mad. Look how far I don't have to walk anymore. Because then we have like Crispy who's burnt and like 70% of his body missing a leg, bucked up fingers. I would have stole that in a second, bro. I get out and hop. He's like, what the fuck, bro? I'm like.

Walk backwards. Jumping up and down like, oh, yeah. Do some push-ups and burpees. Just sprint into a red hose. As he hobbles in with his one leg. He's our friend. This is okay. Crispy, do you know why he got his name Crispy? Because he got burnt 70% of his body. I'm listening. I'm listening. He's also a beaner.

- Oh fuck. - I can't say that. - You can't say it? You said it before. - Yeah. - No, I can't. I just can't do that. - You did say it earlier. - I did say it earlier. - It's a carabiner. - Shit. - Cody's word, he's like, "I can't say that." - Cody's a tunded mountain climber. - They're carabiners. - Yeah. - Yeah, carabiners. - It's like when I give Crispy a hug. - What do you mean carabiner? - Carabiner means something. - Tess is like, "What is this word?" - Now you've lost me.

Sorry, we're dumb. Are you sure you want to be on this? Yeah. Okay, it's too late now. I mean, you can walk out. It would be the first time a guest left. Probably won't be the last time. Man, that caught us off guard. We just asked him to say a word multiple times without knowing what it meant. I feel like at the end of this, you're going to go, it meant nothing.

You know, this whole time you've been like, no, we just thought you would see if you could say a word that we just made up before the podcast. Yeah, totally. That's what the joke is, guys. He got us. Go yell it outside at Home Depot.

Home Depot. He doesn't know that. It's like all these American inside jokes. You're just like Home Depot. He's like, wait, are there no Home Depots in Australia? No, there's no Home Depot. What the fuck? That's your question? There's no Home Depot? Is there Mexicans in front of the Home Depot? I don't care. We have one of the top streamers in the world here. And we're like, all right, so in Australia, you guys don't have Outback Steakhouse.

Home Depot is like a hot way store. Yeah, we've got Bunnings. Bunnings? Yeah. Okay. Do Mexicans hang out at Bunnings? No. They don't have Mexicans there. I know, they swim. Like, man, that Mexican took the hard back. Wait, what brown people do cheap labor in your country? I don't know what my dad said that. I love it's brown people. It's like my people. I wasn't going to say.

- Nothing, say nothing. - I don't know if this is actually inappropriate or not, but everyone in Victoria where I grew up were called Mexicans 'cause we're south of the border. There's one state in Australia that's like the bottom state. Now everyone would call that like if you're from Victoria. - That's Victoria? - Were they like, "Yo, what's up Mexican?" Or how'd they say it? - No, I just think they looked down on us or something 'cause we're from the bottom. - Now it's racist. - Well, now you're Mexican, so it's fine.

Sure. Holy shit. Yeah. You're Mexican? I'm not saying it. You don't have to say it. I'm not saying that word. So you saw where he was going with that so far. He's like, not going to say it. I'll print you off a card. I got you. Okay. Yeah, you grew up with basic cable. You pretty much are Mexican. How big was your house? My first house wasn't very big. There you go. This is a normal, a smaller than his house. I hope so. Jesus, then you're not Mexican. His first house was in this entire space.

This is a good size. This is a good studio. We just need to fill it out more. Just a smidge. Oh, yeah. This is our second one here. You actually second guest here. Second podcast here. You see that our lights already broke.

One. Can't get it off yellow. It's stuck there now. We broke it already. Well, that's the difference. Now everyone knows it's yellow. They're like, are they going to fix it? No, it's good. I almost have to leave it now for the next five podcasts. Fuck that. We're just going to buy another one of the fancy lights. They know my tism. I'm going fucking insane about that. My tism is like. That's your side too. So like your lighting's ruined. Yesterday I walked in and fucking clean and do that shit. And I'm like, turn on, test everything. I'm like, fucking dope. Pink. Like it should be. That.

Walking today, it was red when we came in. Yeah. Couldn't just turn it off. It was slightly glowing red. I clicked the button and it just brightened even more red. I'm like, I was going to hate that. And now it's yellow. I don't know, man. It's like, let's go to this shit color. I'm like, motherfucker. Batty, remember that time I was searching for anime dolphins? And I was super embarrassed to face it.

I hate when I'm online searching up hot anime dolphins. Me too. It's the most embarrassing thing. You know what? Sometimes you're like, just use incognito mode. I always use incognito mode. That's safe, right? Until the government knocks on your door. Trust me. They can hold up that anime dolphin. You're trying to not turn your pants into shorts. And that's why I use ExpressVPN.

It doesn't matter who your internet service provider is. That's ISP. In the U.S., can legally tell your information to ad companies. They can sell everything you have, even on incognito mode. That's stupid. They know. They're listening. They're watching. They don't care if you're secret. They don't even care right now. ExpressVPN is an app that reroutes your internet connection through their secure service so your ISP can't see the sites you visit. No more dolphin stuff.

ExpressVPN also keeps all your information secure by encrypting 100% of your data with the most powerful encryption available. Most of the time, I don't even realize I have ExpressVPN on. It runs seamlessly in the background. It's so easy to use. All you have to do is tap one button and you're protected. ExpressVPN is available on all your devices, phones, computers, or even your smart phone. It's actually kind of helpful because I have it.

Actually have you said it is like it's a Chrome exciting just poop I was just like any you're like how you have adblock or anything like that you can just turn it on or just never shut it off because I know you're a bunch of DJ ends looking up anime waifu dolphins I Can't wait till that's a shirt. That's a shirt now anyway. We're dolphins with a little I hate it I hate it so much, but hey now you can safely search the internet surf the web look up your disgusting disgusting

Dolphins. That's right. Protect your online activity today with VPN rated number one by Business Insider. Visit your exclusive leak, expressvpn.com slash unsub, and you can get your extra three months free on a one-year package. That's expressvpn.com slash unsub. Expressvpn.com slash unsub to learn more. You're cut off. Get your dolphins today. Good.

Okay, this is the segment where we talk about video games for three seconds. So why'd you come over to America? You came in down for TwitchCon, right? Yeah. TwitchCon was actually all right for about three hours. Yeah. I say that's right. That's why I don't have a voice. And then after that, I left and hung out with everyone outside of TwitchCon. And I didn't break my butt jumping into a pit. Oh my God. We gotta talk about that. Jumping onto concrete. Technically, her butt was broken before that, but she hurt her back pretty bad.

Yeah. It's like this is what blew out her back. There was a lot of jokes on that Twitter thread. There were so many jokes. All the people that could have broken. That's rough. We were standing there when it happened, but we weren't really paying attention.

Jesus. We just watched that video. It's like, I'm just cringing because of the video itself. We should give context. So what happened was Adriana to chick was doing like a gladiator dueling thing on top of these little podiums with someone else. There's a little phone below it. And then she jumped into the actual phone pit.

and did some like weird split thing in the air and then just literally just all weight full force into the ground and broke her ass she did like a cheerleader like yeah she kicked her legs up and like touched her toes but the phone was like and i'll use american terminology like just over a foot deep and underneath it was straight concrete there was like a single layer of these little foam squares like one layer it was that's what it's literally like one foot it is ankle deep

And you're on a raised podium jumping. And they're being moved. And you're fighting on it, which is crazy. I was like, how the fuck did they think like fighting in this thing? Because that could like someone falls or trips, falls backwards, smacks their head.

Three hours earlier, someone dislocated their knee on it. And it's like, oh, just keep going, you know? Do we not have any other foam in it? Because there was like three of these things set up too. Yeah, there was ones on the other side of the wall and that, but the second, the third day when, after we found out it happened, like, or was it how severe it was, it was all shut down. The...

There was one that was still going. The one that she got hurt in, they shut down. But it was like the Wendy's one. There was one next to the Wendy's booth because there was a Wendy's booth at TwitchCon. That one was still going and I was like, y'all's ballsy. It's always like, hmm, do I go in there for some fun? No, you know they were like cleaning out. It's like, y'all going to use those foam balls?

Someone drowned someone drowned in the My moderator was like jump do you want to do it with me on the in the gladiator thing? I'm like I looked at it instantly said no, I don't wanna get hurt and

Like that was my initial thought. And as soon as I saw him, nah, I'll get hurt doing that. Cause I'm so injury prone once I hit 30. Risk aversion when you at 30 years old. I'm a dad now. I've got to be somewhat smart. Yeah. I won't even get on pogo stick. Jogging scary to me. Pogo sticks are scary from the beginning. Fuck that. That's all I got. I'm 30. Better not get on a pogo stick. Bitch, I've been on pogo stick once in my life and I will never do it again. How do you run and jump on tables?

Yeah, but the tables are firmly on the ground. You did do that a lot. The program stick leaves the ground. That's the line. That's the determining factor. Anything I say at this point doesn't matter because you're right. You hit a certain age, you're like, do I need to do any of this? I could die. Actually, I might die on this exercise and I don't think it's worth it. You jumped out of a plane like 30 times. I know, but I thought I was going to die.

The first few times I was like, this is stupid. Why am I doing this? And then everything on that first day of jumping was like the most terrifying moment in my life.

Jumping out planes. We did like a fast like a class jump 25 times and then this isn't like five days We're getting a license from never jumping out of anything never doing a wind tunnel two days a wind tunnel and then that evening doing a Random jump one the next morning at 6:00 a.m. They're just like okay and now it's a solo jump So you'll have your guys jump next to you, but you're free falling your guy and you're landing by yourself. I

I went to bed early. I was like, I got to get a lot of rest. I got to prep for this. If there's a sign, I'm going to take that as I'm going to die and I'm not going to do it. So I go to bed. I plug in my phone, plug in everything. I'm like, okay, sign one. I wake up at four 30 and I'm like, why am I awake right now? I don't like that. It's like,

Who pissed in my pants? Yeah, I was like, I never wake up this early. I need to get up at five. I got 30 more minutes of sleep. I go to grab my phone. It's dead. I'm like, what the fuck? Plug it in. Or I unplug it, plug it back in. The charger died. Not the phone. The charger died in the middle of the night. So I was like, oh, that's sign two, I think. Well, I don't want to be called a pussy. Yeah.

Well, that's gonna do it. So, here I go. And it's that first jump. You're like up there with everyone. I'm like, am I the only... And you look at everyone else's faces like, I'm good. This is like... We're all just shitting themselves right now. I was like, okay, we're good. We're good. We're good. And we all lived. The first time I went skydiving the whole way up, I was like, this is stupid. Why am I doing this? The whole way up. Did you just do a skydiving thing? I did. Oh, you did. You fucking... You did tandem. No. I did tandem. I thought with the...

That wasn't me in the chair. Everyone thinks it was me in the chair. So what we do, that was a VFX shot. No, no, not VFX. They just dropped it. And then it's none. None of that was what imposed.

All of it is real footage. Oh, yeah. That's what I mean. It was a dummy, right? The last bit was. Okay. Yeah. So I paid a skydiving company. We hired a plane. We went skydiving. And the idea was to get a gaming chair and skydive in a gaming chair. So we literally got the owner of the company. He looks like me when he's got all his gear on. And I would say 5% of people figured out it was me straight away.

95% of people were like, wow, you must be really skilled skydiver. Because it was like, the guys like jumped out of the plane. There's two dudes hanging onto the side of it and he's just like free falling in his gaming chair, just swinging back and forth. And then they let go of him and he just like spirals off into the clouds and disappears. I thought it was you, bro. Holy shit.

Everyone's like, I thought that was you. And then the next shot is like, everyone's like going, oh my God, he's falling. And he's like, with style. No, wait, he's just falling. And then we have another time the plane goes up. We have another gaming chair. We have like, we call it the STD, the standard test dummy. And we strap that down to the chair and we shove that out of the plane. In America, that means something else.

We shove it out of the plane. And then we have GoPro strapped to that. And we're just literally standing right where it's falling. And we're like into the ground. I'm like, that's my landing. That's fucking dope. I seen that. I was like, oh, that's fucking great. I was like, wait, he's passing, jumping from the fucking, I was confused at first. I was like, okay, I can see how they did that one. I was like, okay, he jumped though. Didn't he? He jumped up. The reason why I did a 10 jump in the first place was the fact that we needed me in the plane going up. Well, I'm going up. I might as well jump, but I've already done it before. That wasn't my first time.

The first time I was petrified. Only on the way out. Once we were at the plane, I was like, we're sweet, we're Gucci. You feel like a baby and your dad is here on the front. They walk you to the edge of the plane like, ready? That's the only time I don't know if you got it, but the stomach thing from the skydive.

I didn't get anything. You didn't get the... No, this is the only time. You're not supposed to get it because it's a weird... It's a slide. Unless you jump out of a blimp or any like a hot air balloon, then you'll have that... Like the throw up feeling. It's weird. I don't have that at all. I don't jump out of stuff. Have you jumped? No. Never. Never. You should. Everyone should once in their life. Just once. Have you jumped?

No, I had the opportunity to two months ago and I was like no you're 100% should it's yours like a month ago Wasn't it? Yeah, I was like a month ago in Salt Lake. Yeah, I seen like Brandon do I was like, oh good Wonder if Cody did it. No, they were like we're going jumping I was like, that's cool. I'm gonna drink the moses and go to Black Rock one hang out with Lucas and make knives It's just an experience

You get out and you do it and you're like, wow, the world is big. Because you go so high up. Bro, under the canopy is the most beautiful thing. I don't know. Like when you're just like floating. Well, not strapped to a dude. It's not as relaxing actually. When you're like, God, I'm still here. And they're like, take the toggles. And you're like. I don't know if this happened to you, but when you were doing the tandem, did he like change the straps or some shit? And you just stink all of a sudden? He gets like the straps and he pulls something. And then you just drop like an extra foot.

But that one foot, it's like, that's your life gone. It's like, oh, oh, I'm still on this guy. Let me tell a real. I think I told you guys the story about the tandem bad news bear guy. OK, your reaction is going to be gold during this. So our instructors, we had like the top rebel instructors. We had like all the pinnacle of skydiving people teaching us when we did this.

They were also telling us really terrifying stuff before. Okay, don't do this because you're pretty much dead. Okay, if the parachute does this and two open and it gets tangled, again, you're probably dead. Just try to pull it apart. And we were like, oh, man. And then they were telling, what's the worst story you know about tandem jumping? He's like, oh, man, I know the worst one. So student and a teacher jumped and they got under canopy. They were going. And then the teacher fucking do, do, do.

Undid his own straps and was like, okay, bye. And just the teacher just fucking yeeted himself off with no parachute. He went to sleep. We use different words for what I just said. He went to sleep permanently. He forever sleep on his own, his own accord. But he was like, here, you're going to need these toggles fucking handed to you. He's like, okay, you're going to left, right. Okay. And then do this before you land. You're going to pull real hard before you land, but wait till you're almost laying. You got this.

No fucking way. That's fucking awesome. That's as hardcore as it fucking gets. And then that dude is probably the only student in the world that did his first jump on a tandem, landed solo. Like he walks away a fucking hero slash really fucked up at the end of the day. That's my face when if I landed, I was like...

Dude, the second I'm here, I'm just like, oh, oh, oh. I just let it flow for as long as it's possible. Yeah, that's funny. No, no, no, no, no. Dude, I was just like, what the? Trauma. Oh, my God. Yeah, you get here. That is a place that you could definitely say I'm under trauma for 50 years. Yes.

I just picture him landing by himself. The student walks it out. You're like, perfect landing. He's like, nice. Where's your instructor? What did you say to that? Wait, you were tanned. I don't know. He's a lawn dart somewhere. He's like, I know he was having a bad day, but shit. Where did he go? Oh my God. He's not existing. This is black. Right? So they would tell us those stories before our first jump. And I'm like,

And it was going to be fun. They also would do someone sabotaged a fuck ton of stuff. Like on another jumper hated another jumper. So naturally he just went in and clipped all the... That's why you always check your own gear before everything. You're like, okay, check, check. So he just clipped all the fucking... Got it. Guy jumped. He's like, woo! And that's a handle. Uh-oh, uh-oh. And that's just a handle. And you're like...

- Dude. - At that time you just can control how you fall and that's about it. You're like- - Look for trees. - Yeah, yeah. - I think that would be the only thing you could save, save you, right? - Maybe one. - I mean, there's stories of people falling in like World War II and shit, like falling out of fucking like jumping, losing shoes and just hitting the tree. Like a guy fell from like, oh God. - Very high. - You hit terminal velocity. - Thousands of feet. - And you're just, yeah, that's it. - There's a chick in Australia. She was touring through Europe with her friend. They went skydiving in like France or some shit.

And while they were skydiving, she was doing tandem, obviously, the guy pulled the parachute and it choked him out. And he was like pretty much fully out cold. They smashed into the ground. She survived. Her name's Emma Carey. She just wrote a book, actually. And it just, when the chute just wrapped. I think the guy survived too, actually. Now think about it. Like the parachute came out, but it like, it didn't let me go out. And then it just like, it was like wrapped around his throat. So he was kind of like passed out. And she was just like,

Like down to the ground. And it's like, she's, I don't know what you call it, but she can't feel below her waist. Paralyzed from paraplegic. But she can still move her legs. Oh, weird. Yeah. She's a superhero. Pretty much. So she's gotten like, she can control her legs. That's the superhero. Define control. She can walk. Superhero. That's the word. But she can't feel anything. That's a superhero. Yeah.

It's like spider-man getting bit by a spider, but she jumped out of a plane. I don't think he got fucked up I don't think you could do it again, okay? She won't feel anything. She's good Survival once she twice it's not a superpower. How does she know when she has to poop? It just happens. I have the same problem Diapers

I think so. Okay. You just go to the toilet every like hour. I don't know. I follow her on Instagram. She actually like with, she said, this is why I just don't have a nice couches. She's got like we on that couch, we on that couch and we on the next couch. And she jokes about it though? Yeah. Oh, she's a fucking gangster then. Yeah. She's like really just chill. We're going to put her up on there on the here, right here. I don't know where in the screen. Figure it out. Yeah. Like what was the name? I think it's M. Carey or Emma Carey.

Harry, you're a gangster. If you just Google chick who fell from the sky. I'm not even pushing. Australian lawn dart. That was my girlfriend. Girl who fell from the sky, I think it's her book name. Not sponsored.

This book right here, this autographed copy. Where you too can get your autographed copy. Make sure you use discount code PEST15. Get 15% off that book. God. They're going to try that. Imagine. Roller-toos now. Just go in front of your audience and get like 15% roller-toon on book sales.

I'm like, fuck, yeah. Sorry your butt doesn't work. Thanks for the royalty. Oh, guys, look at this. We got a new pumpkin. Is this when you're going to do it? Yeah. You're going to do this right now? Yeah. That one smells really good. You want to eat it. I want to lick that. Smells like a white girl. Is there a warning label not to lick stuff on our products yet? Get that, get that.

Oh, you did it. I mean, it doesn't say. Oh, caution. Keep out of reach of children. Do not ingest. Oh, well.

Avoid contact with eyes in case of emergency. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Water. I don't know. White Claw. Out of Reds kills pests. Big streamer. Oh, no. I hope you shit yourself. It's like tomorrow, you're like, how's the pest? Well, he had a seizure and asleep and died. It tastes like pumpkin. A little bit. He speaks English now. It kind of does taste like

Does it? Yeah. Want to hit? Yeah. Well, man, this is the most, this is the worst thing you can do with an ad read. It's like, no, don't ingest. It tastes like pumpkin. Oh, it does. It's a pumpkin pie. Slash not pumpkin pie. You got a whole chunk on your thumb. Just eat it. It tastes like it smells like it tastes like pumpkin. Hey, over at Outer Eggs, go check out OuterEggs.com. Save.

Save 20% by using come 20 or unsub. Just use come 20 because it's way more hilarious and it gets used a lot. Surprisingly, everyone's like, just put it in your hair. Oh, but it smells so freaking good. Go get yourself some pomade like this. You haven't said that during the ad raid. We don't need to. We just tasted it. Yeah. If you like pomade and hair stuff, use this pomade pumpkin spice. It's more fun to watch them struggle. Smell.

Come 20. Come 20. Also use Donut's beard cream or Batty's beard oil. Or cream. Use her cream. Come 20. Ad read done.

Killed it. Yeah. I know how to do. It's really fun to watch him struggle through them. I would like to read because people watch it. We don't have dip offs increases now. And that's the happiest thing for them. They're like, man, people don't skip. It's like, yeah, because I'm retarded and I struggle reading these words.

30 second ad read. At least five minutes that I'm going to spend reading it. But... The... The... The... Batty, what's this word? Cody, I can't pronounce this. If there's more than two syllables, we move on. Oh my god, my hand's gone. What video are you coming out with here soon? What'd you make today? I made the S to F tier list of all the talk of guns, but in real life.

It's going to be so good. It's going to be so good. It really will be. You excited to be demonetized immediately? Yes. I've given up. I don't care. Yeah. I just make what I want now. Have you been demonetized before? Is that all you think that's happened to you? No. Oh, okay. Okay. So this is new to you. Okay. After 60 days, you'll notice your views pick back up. Okay. It's the shadow ban ending. Yeah, they just not like gun stuff at all. No. Their policy team has a certain set of rules that don't make sense.

No 30-round mags, no suppressors, no full auto, no thermal sights. We did all that except for the thermal sight. In the first five minutes of video, you're breaking every rule. No, that'll all happen in the first 30 seconds. Yeah.

You're going to do it properly, you know? That's it. There's no reason to half-ass it at this point. You're going to get hit no matter what. This video is just about having some fun, and that's what I want it to be. I mean, it looked like you had a blast. Your reaction to everything, I was like, oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. There it is. He felt something today. Yeah. It's something that he doesn't normally get. He feels alive again. Yeah. Did you ever get any cool gun shit while you were in the military? I've shot probably one of the main colors of each of them. Yeah. You've hit the AK box, the AR box. I didn't get any AKs, but definitely my M4, the Steyr. Yeah.

Browning HP was the pistol that we used. I should have brought mine. I didn't know. You have a high power. Yeah, I have one. I've got... Oh, my God. What's the shotgun? The main shotgun that we all use in Tarkov. Not the 153 and that. The one that everyone loves. I don't know. I've shot shotguns. The KS-23? No. That's the one I love. We're going to bring the KS-23 today, actually, now that I think about it. Because we don't have one.

You have to be able to find the rounds for it. Yeah, you have to make them pretty much. I've talked to Brian about it a lot because I love it and I want one, but there's tens of them that exist. The Mark 19 would be the most fun gun ever to shoot. What was it? Mark 19. Oh, the grenade launcher? Yeah.

you get like you do all the call of occasion like here's 12 rounds you know like and then you're like oh that was fun but like that part's the only cool bit about it but um 84 mil kogustov

66 mil I've shot so many of those two the 66 mil. Oh, it's I don't know designation for it It's just a the law. It's like the law. No, I use only Have you seen Beverly Hills cop 2 is like look down here and any cracks it open it goes click here and there's like shoots the rocket out Okay, when I hear like 66 mil Mike these are bullets like I

No, no. I shot quite a bit. I go to mortars. I started thinking mortars. Oh, yeah. 50 cal. Heats of 50 cal. And an SV-98. Pretty sure that's what we use. What the fuck's an SV? SV. Sorry, SV. Oh, okay. Yep, yep, yep. Never shot the 50 cal like Snava or the Barrett. I mean, you got to shoot a special one today, too. That thing's fucking silly. That was sick. Oh, the Scholdy? Yeah, MA2A2. Yeah, the...

The bullpup 50. It's this most sketch weapon platform in the world to me. Just because everything's happening. Kentucky Ballistics might have something to say about sketchy weapon platforms. We could have brought out the Serbu for him to shoot. Yeah, thanks for bringing that out, Eli. But even then, like Serbu blew up here. Not here. Because the action's happening here. Right here. Everything goes on. And then obviously the...

Just to change back to the previous topic was the Minimi, which is very much similar to your M249. You call the Minimi here. Minimi? Minimis? It's a 5.56 belt-fed. Oh, no shit. 249 saw. Yeah. And a Mag 58. I've shot heaps of that too, which is 7.62 belt-fed. It's like an old school machine gun. Kind of like what we had out in the range today, the M60.

No, it looks more World War II-like. Oh, dang. Like Vietnam style. Old, old. Yeah, but they're really reliable. They're good. And then we got the shoot like the Maxima, which is pretty much very similar to the M60. All these fucking, yeah, it's weird when I don't know it. It's great. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, I don't know half of these things because I know so much about U.S. military stuff. Just...

In firearms that we see, but nothing. It's all very similar at the end of the day though. They all work pretty much very similar. Like I had very few issues trying to shoot anything today. Now you're like, I got the gist of it. There's just a couple of random shit that I'd never seen before, like the P90 and trying to figure out how to do that stuff. I think that was yours and yours.

I was like, what the fuck am I doing here? That is a weird weapon when you pick up. It's like the mag, how it loads because when you push the bullets, it's a weird safety catch. The bullets, do you see they load sideways? Yeah. So they stack and then rotate when they go in the chamber in the backside. Trigger's booty. And then the safety is also a guess because I still forget. I'm like, it's so close to the trigger that I'm like, oh my God, that's

That's way too close. And then is it like what's on safe, what's on fire? Because I always forget. I have to like clear it. And I'm like, that's a physical check, not a muscle memory one like an AR. Oh, see, mine got serrated. Oh, you can't see on yours. You can see on mine. And I clear it. And do you ever think, and I'm like, safety's here. Okay. Okay. We're good. I didn't even think about that. Yeah. Yours got completely covered. Yeah. Full auto is just all the way to the right if you have the right.

pack for it i don't as much as i love the idea of a full auto p90 i don't want to pay for that they shoot so fast it was boys expensive so it's five so we shot so much it's like a fucking dollar and ten cents around right we finished and i'm like that's 10 grand done that was a lot of money harley was asking he's like how much did you guys spend probably or what was the how much money was spent shooting today i was like

It would have been a lot of dollars. Yeah, easy. Yeah, easy. A lot of the AK ammo wasn't bad. We shot a lot of AK stuff. Yeah. Some of the 5.56 hurt. Yeah. Because we didn't shoot any steel. I don't think we shot any steel today. Really? Did we? Because we brought out, we started 5.56 with the G36 stuff and you can't shoot steel through those. So I know everybody was loading brass out the gate. Ugh.

And plus we had the fucking 9x39, the VSS out there. They were saying like $5, $4.50 a round. Two most disappointing guns was the VSS. It had so many stoppages because of the hard...

What do you call it? Like hard struck? The primers. You hit it and it's nothing. And like out of a, was it a 10 or 20 round mag? 10 round. Wow. It was like seven. It was seven. I think you only had two rounds consecutive. Yeah. And great for combat. Well, it's crazy. Because we've shot it before. It's bad ammo. We've shot it before. Whole mag, no issues. It's bad ammo. Right now getting nine by 39 in the US is... Impossible. So you're shooting a lot of older or sketchy or...

Brandon made it in his shop. I don't know. And I think that you saw the guys that work for him. They're the ones that made it. They were running around picking up the brass after like, yeah, here we go. The one gun that actually was like amazingly shit in my opinion was the 1911.

Yeah, oh no they're shit. It's so played up. Yeah two world wars better Wow like that was most anti-climactic thing I've ever done in my life. Yes Did you expect like an eagle to screech? I don't know just everything about that when I shot it was like that was shit. Yeah, it's just like a

This is it. This is it. Pistols are the hardest thing to shoot. Agree. And then you only get seven rounds with a 1911. It's 45. It's fucking trapped. It's just my least favorite of my pistols that I own. I only own two that I never shoot. Ever. I think the last time I brought mine out, I used spit to lube it because it was so shit. I was like spitting into it. That's why it doesn't work. What did I do to my girlfriend? I...

You don't cum on your gun? Cody's doing that for this jellyfish. I don't want to know the answer to this question. Oh, God. You're in a public rain. My gun's not running. Let me jellyfish that gun real quick. You just hand it back there. What the fuck is on my pistol? Wait till you shoot it. What the fuck?

- Immediately, yeah, exactly. - All guys should get that joke. That's like a guy joke. Pest, do you get that joke? - Yes. - Yes? Okay, good. - Sorry. - That's a sperm joke. - It's cum, it's just cum. - It's just a cum. - It's interesting that you called it jellyfish, 'cause I'd never heard anyone else say that. - Freshwater jellyfish. - Yeah. - I think Batty's the one that-- - 'Cause I remember when I was in the army, there was no jellyfish on the shell floor. That was like every time we were away, it was like no jellyfish.

Heard it from yeah, you're like fresh water jellyfish I picked it up, but that's what it was. I was like fresh water jellyfish like come on the bathroom floor. It's Dead jelly face that you know genitals obviously Tarkov streamer She is far too innocent for her own good and I used to fuck with her with silly terms She didn't understand and that was the one that she really she's like all just cuz she's got a jellyfish logo and

Nice come sure

Oh my god, why isn't that a shirt? Freshwater jellyfish with a really cute jellyfish. Anime jellyfish. Next month, there we go. Yeah, it's like a little one that's like a smile. It's just a smile. There's gotta be some kind of line in the top. One long line. Its tentacles are the little tails. Yeah, exactly. We'll do tentacles on the side like this. It's thinking, it's like...

The little blushing. Yeah, yeah. The little red things. I hate it here. Dude, that's a good. It's going to sell like a motherfucker though. Y'all fucking weirdos are going to really shit out of that. That will. I mean, unfortunately, that's going to fucking. Yeah, the come subscribe shirt was our best seller for a hot minute there. There's a good text thread right there.

Well, guys, is anyone going to buy a shirt that says come on? Yeah, yeah. That was me. I know. Of all people here that said it. I was like, are people going to buy a shirt that says come and giant white letters on it? Really? Highest selling shirt. Number one, every month. Every month. And you're like, where do people wear this at? And then we're in a nice restaurant, Italia. Everyone's looking and we're like, what the fuck? Batty's walking back with his come shirt on. Like, oh.

It's so aggressive. It was like a Sunday morning. Everyone's just getting out of church. It was like church. Everyone was like, okay, God bless. We were going to film the podcast after. I was like, I should wear a podcast shirt today. It's in the Doom font. So it's like aggressive. It screams. I want one. Done. We should wear it somewhere really public. TwitchCon.

TwitchCon Paris, all right. No one will understand it. You're good. No one will understand it. Yeah, exactly. Oh, man. When is TwitchCon Paris? July. It should be in July. They have one in Paris? I know. It's been Amsterdam a couple times. Amsterdam might be the most dope one. Which porn star is going to break their back at this one? Jump from the Eiffel Tower.

Wow, yeah, I had a good I was like, well, that's gonna be shoes. He's done around in the mic I wanted I want everybody in the audience to smell it bird. No twitchcon. What so you have Amsterdam Paris? When do those kick? I think it's a rotate July should be on which Connie you yeah, I'm down for that for twitchcon Japan if they ever did They need to do twitchcon Japan 100% we have a lot of Japanese streamers. Yes, and it's everyone loves Japan. Oh

That's why I'm surprised this never happened, because that's like cool. Well, EU is a new thing, TwitchCon EU. It's not TwitchCon Paris or TwitchCon Amsterdam. It's TwitchCon EU. It started with Amsterdam twice, I believe, and then they're announcing that the next one is supposed to be Paris, correct? Yeah. Next year's Paris. Yeah. That's going to be fucking... See, I would do that one just for the experience. My brother just got back from Paris today. Oh, yeah? Yeah, Che was out there just having fun. He was like... Much worse. He was going to metal shows. Yeah.

It was like in French. I was like, what the fuck are you? He's like, I don't know, but these people are fucking dope and do a lot of shots. So they're just drinking, having a party. I was like, hey, as long as you're having a good time, that's all that matters. Until he gets hostile. That happened. Wait, what? Okay, not the murder part. Okay, okay. It did not happen, but a couple of our buddies at TwitchCon this time got a hostile, and they didn't know it was a hostile. Oh, they had a hostile? In San Diego? Yeah. What? What?

When you say hostel, you mean hostel, yeah? Hostel? Yeah, it's like a place you stay that's really budget cheap. Yeah, but there's communal bathrooms and rooms and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then don't say hostel because hostel sounds fancy. Hostel sounds shitty. Eli Roth movie, like people get tortured. Yeah, the movie where they're like...

I love that movie. The puss comes out of the vacuum. Yeah, dude. Hostiles. No, no. They got a place they thought was a regular hotel and turns out they get there and it's like, oh yeah, your bathroom's down the hall and it's attached to two other rooms. I hate this. And they end up getting locked out of their place like they couldn't get in anymore at night so they had to sleep one night. They slept in a fucking hallway. This is the biggest claustrophobic of all.

any experience i've ever heard because so many people had their airbnbs fucked up yeah really these are sketchy man i'm never doing airbnb again no never no shit because it's like people getting their airbnbs canceled other people had like uh one of our mates he went to the airbnb and like no there's no airbnbs here it was like one of those big apartment complexes that was subletting it and the guys like come out the back i'll give you the key yeah it's real shit

oh yeah that sounds about right another person who had an airbnb where the dude who was renting there maybe was staying there still like next to them in the next room like in the same living room area like

Like people just lying like a motherfucker on that shit. And it was so expensive. I just do hotels now. I will never do an Airbnb. I've had one weird Airbnb and it was just like, it just turned out to be a really shitty place. And I was like, nah, never again. I was going to hotel. I've always had success with Airbnb. Yeah. I'm not trying to get cheap ones either. Yeah. That's true too. You know what? Fair. The key component in that. They were really nice Airbnb. My mom was 10 grand. What the fuck? I wanted six beds.

Oh, yeah. I had on my team with me and I was like, the first one got canceled and the second one was further out and two grand more expensive. And it got canceled the day before I left. I had to find someone somewhere within 48 hours of leaving. How did they cancel it before you? Pest infection. No pun intended. Stop, stop, stop. Wait, is that real? Yeah. If it's legit on. They didn't reset it. They didn't let it out because we checked straight away if there was anything going on.

I don't know. Did you have to get six hotels? No, we just found another place, but it was like, it was out in the suburbs. Oh yeah. And then you're doing the drive and all that. The Ubers every day. Holy shit. But to get the same distance, it was going to cost me $20,000. And I'm like, I'm not paying 20 grand to stay in walking distance of TwitchCon.

Fuck no. That's fucking, I just get a hotel room. That's how I was. Holy hotels at that stage. You're right. There was no shot. We were fucked. We literally found the one place left and we stayed there because all the hotels were straight up like booked out and to get, you know, even with our twin rooms, those three rooms I needed to get for a week each. Fucked. That's fucking insanity to me. What the fuck? I never bring my team anywhere ever again. Fuck you guys. Lesson learned. Pieces of shit.

We got your number. I'm looking at both of you. No, I thought that I did in LA when I had to stay one time in LA, I got one right next to my kiddo. I was like, Oh man, this is like $40 a night. It's like 50, 40 or 50 for five days for Christmas. I was like, Oh, it's a one bedroom. It's everything I need. And like I get in, I was like, house looks, it's like one hallway. And I was like,

This is tiny. It's weird. And then I noticed it was like numbers on. I was like, oh, this is a house. And they just turned it into a hotel because I like opened my door and it's like and close it. I was like, oh, this is it. OK, this is fucking it. And then communal bathroom, everything. I was like, what the fuck? Man, forty dollars. I was like, you know what? I can live with it. Ryden's not going to care that he was like four at this age. Yeah, he's autistic anyway. He don't give a shit.

Is a tablet. Ryan's a happy camper. He's like, thank you, daddy. I don't care about this house. I'm like, good buddy. Come on. But how tall is it? Yeah. It is 18 foot. This is tiny, daddy. Can you take me to the communal bathroom? Come on, son. Let's go. God bless my kiddo. I love him. Betty, you ready? Yep. Let's fucking hear it. Yeah. Thank you for watching the subscribe podcast. As always, we have Eli Double Tap, Bonoboperator, and...

Very, very special guest. Pestily. Pestily. Say it like with a little gusto. Pestily. Now say cunt real quick. Cunt. Now where can we find you at? Subscribe, cunt. Well, you're on YouTube, everything, right? Yeah, everything. Pestily on everything. Boom. And how do you spell it? Pest. E-lee. E-lee.

If they can't spell that like, true. They don't deserve it anyways. You're good. You're cunts. You're fucking cunts.