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And we're good. Oh, there's a spider. What the fuck is that kind of spider? It's like a crab thing. Early dungeons are easy. That was a little aggressive. It was coming right for me. It was coming. It was like, I'm protecting. I'm retreating. Everybody's like, kill it! What the fuck? That poor spider's legs. Just a little person.
He just murdered the shit out of that thing. That's how we're plugging your new merch. Death. Do you like death? Say hi to Eli. It's racially ambiguous, buddy. That guy's fucking ridiculous, don't I?
It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to unsubscribe. Hey, guys. Thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or...
That's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah. Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating. Come on.
That's where the you come that is come subscribe. I like your tables over there Betty. That's nice Bro you didn't notice that oh, I could ban in here. We got a single fan in never mind. That's your hair. Thank you Dude Nick, that's how I know fucking my favorite clip. I just like the spike in the
And the watch time on that one segment when that fucking light. Oh my God. But also the spikes during the wet willy and the boop.
I was like you piece of shit. I thought Cody was gonna shoot you. I mean he just said on his team like, oh it's on the table. You guys are setting a dangerous precedent by having me back. I know. It was the internet's choice and not ours. Yeah. Thanks internet. Peer pressure, yay. You need to get that guy, the electrician man back. I am a real electrician by the way. Are you? I'm gonna say that more since I get asked all the time.
Think are we are we gonna film no drunk changing your chandelier like you wanted no I want to when you come back for the third time Oh god, well you're an actual electrician. Yeah, what I just thought it was a name bro Cody's like hi, I'm Cody. I'm like hey, I'm Nick and hopped in and we like start driving It's like we just met each other. This is like, you know, it's like whatever but guys and he like we get I
I don't know, 30 feet down the road. He's like, "So what do you do for a living?" I was like, "I'm an electrician." And he just goes, "Fuck!" I'm an electrician who is fat? Question mark. I was gonna lie about my occupation. I'd say something way cooler. Oh yeah. That was close. Ready, Kerry? You can do your... Let's make the fucking sound. Do something.
Be normal. Jesus fucking Christ. Just be normal. You come here. You don't get to invite me back to this podcast after you got a restraining order. Now there's a wall. There's literally a line of police between me and you so your nose doesn't get pooped again. I know. Or you fucking smash my teeth on the mic again. What offense do we do? We're not going to talk about that one. Oh.
It's metal? Who would have figured this metal object's metal? I didn't realize that when I picked it up and it was heavy. With this thin? This thin doesn't protect anything. Cody, dude, this is your job part.
Which by the way you have a cool name first and last I don't know if the internet knows your last I won't say it unless yeah, no nobody knows it I have as many followers as I do and nobody knows a pigment of my butthole, okay? Yet, well you guys have butthole pigments
Oh man. Yours is the same? I thought it was big time. That's how you made it? When I google my butthole, it doesn't show up. There's nothing. This is bullshit. I'd be more scared if people actually... Like, you're like, Eli's butthole. Boom. That is my butthole. Why is it up on the internet? Google Maps. I've been caught. Google Maps is getting out of hand.
That's our start in this one Man you miss the buttholes, okay, we gotta do more buttholes. Oh it was about Caleb's bear going through his DMS of dude homeboy gets like a
So many hundreds. Dude, he's just scrolling a thirsty dude's one up. Miles of dick in that guy's DMs. Yeah. He's told me about that, man. Bro. And he said a lot of them are like other bears. Oh, yeah. It's like they want to make little bear cubs together. Oh, I hate that the most. You want to make bear cubs? Well, first off, I don't think that's how anatomy works if we fuck butt. It's like instead of butt babies, it's butt cubs. They want to make little butt cubs. Butt cubs. Yeah, dude.
I don't like that visual of it coming out. It's a 60 pound year old child. With a beard. It's already predestined to be a bear. Bears make bears. We all know this.
It stands up with leather underwear on. It's a bonnet jack. Yeah. Er, er, da, da. Waddle. Caleb, I'm your baby. Yeah. I'm your little butt cub. I'm your little butt cub. Oh, he took after his father. One of my favorite comments is like, Caleb's my favorite 80-year-old grandma I've ever known.
Hey, it's me, Caleb. It's like when you go over to his house too, it's the same thing. He's like, hi, I made y'all some cookies. Are y'all hungry? Y'all gotta eat something. God damn it, he is a nana. He is. He is the perfect old nana. What state is he from? West Virginia. The one where they fuck each other. Yeah, there's a bunch of those. West Virginia. The South is not a state. Yeah, it's more of an apparition. What the fuck?
Yet. Cody dunked on himself. I'm from Alabama. I can't say shit. I fucked my sister, you know? Oh, no. Joking, joking. I'm sorry, Misty. I love you. Oh, Reddit. Hef. Misty's like, really? What happened, Cody? Why are these memes here, Cody? This is really good Photoshop, Cody. It wasn't my choice. I don't know why I said that. I don't know why.
Dude, incest jokes. Come on, come on. We can joke about Jesus Christ. No, I agree! Incest jokes are absolutely on the table. On the table. For sure. It's right here. There's a lot of shit on this table. It's literal shit. Oh, God. Butt cubs. There's butt cubs all over the table, man. Butt cubs covered in frosting. Oh, God.
No Nick was last time you did incest I Got a buddy from the South I had to hide my grandfather clock when he came over I've got a big poster Albert Einstein. It says time is relative. I didn't want to try to fuck the clock I
I know what happens! It's gonna be like, "What's up? You're so-" And then I'm gonna vomit. That's the- How long do you throw up? From my boob? Yeah, that's your defense. It's a projectile. Yeah. Who got who? Believe me. Who got who?
I've played out that scenario in my head already and I'm worried I'm gonna get my finger caught in one of your nose rings. Like a fucking Jada's fly trap. So I've decided not to. I gotta come up with something different. Are you gonna assault my ear hole? Both of them are assholes. God, I hope Batty can puke on command. That'd be hilarious. Dude, boom, got your- He's like, ah! No gag reflex, but I got control!
We still finish the podcast You can't get up this is your life now, that's gonna be another Photoshop How is that not your superpower puke on command acid spit It'd be weird if you boob to me came on your face. So I
Would it be? Would it be? If he can do that on command, well, it's punching through fucking wood, so that's... You know the superhero movie with Will Smith? Oh, yeah. Have you ever seen the director's cut? No. The opening scene of the director's cut, he's got a trailer sitting on top of a mountain.
That he lives in because he just picked a trailer up and put it there and he's got this he's got this girl that he's about to have like sex with and she's like texting her friend. Yeah, no, he's here. I'm with them sending pictures and shit. And he's like, look, when when that special moment comes, he's like.
I'm gonna throw you across a room and I need you to stay down and then like you just see the trailer rocking back and forth and then you like hear him grunting and You just see her fly across the trailer and then it's an outside of the trailer view and there's just Folger size cans holes that get shot through the roof of the trailer It's fucking hilarious! It's a deleted scene, it's so fucking funny
What? No, I've never seen that. Holy shit. That's awesome. They took that out? Son of a bitch. It's like the opening scene in the director's cut, I think. It's amazing. Good movie. That's why the boys, that's why they can't sleep with normal prostitutes is because they blow them up. Yeah, in the comics, they have to inject the prostitutes with a little bit of their formula because they will come straight through them and kill them. That's fucked.
Fucking hilarious. All I can think of is that scene when the chick was riding the dude's face. She's like, crunch. Oh, and she fucking popped it? Yeah. Have you seen the water? I've seen that scene. That's all I've seen. Bro, you need to, mmm. That's how I want to go. It goes. That's it. Just your head popped out. Yeah, let's fuck it. Just eating ass and then, just, and then I'm done.
Maybe I don't want to put pressure and I'm dead. What? You didn't specify. I was just talking about a chick crushing a man's face with her ass. That's what I... Caleb could do that. Yeah, I think Caleb could do that. Oh, I don't like that. Yeah, he's really strong. This is your dream. I'm your dream, buddy. This is what you wanted.
Slowly lowers himself. I saw him sitting next to you guys in that podcast. He's a big fucking dude I've never met him in person. He's a big boy fucking he's a shit break out. He decides he could probably squeeze come from a stone Makes a little spot on the table
You good at hand jobs? Grab a rock and squeeze it. Oh my God. It's like, don't go anywhere near my cock. We're just making Caleb's DMs even worse now. He will sit on your face. Yeah. $100. I mean a million. Go donate money to Caleb, guys. It might work out. Which he did say for a mil. If we raised...
If we raised a million dollars. He said he'd have a dude blast him. We were talking about, he was like, I'd be so... What's your number? Oh, no. Yeah, that was the pause. I hate this question. Like, blasted out by a dude. Yeah. He said a mil. I don't know. Then he said 800. Then it went down to 500. And then I was like, but drunk. He's like, ah, fine. I was like, everyone's number drops real quick. It's not hard for us to come up with $500,000.
He's like I'd be so good that guys he's getting off so fast and like until you go like Oh, yeah, you have a bad gag reflex. So you start throwing up. You're just wiping the It's still funny
That's what you missed man. I hate that I miss bears rubbing assholes together Fire like when dogs get stuck together directions to giant bear with their ass here velcro together King rat
You guys ever seen that? What? A rat king or king rat? Rat king? It's like a natural phenomenon that happens in New York. If you Google it, like, flock, pull up a picture. I did that. Do it. Rat king. It's where rats get their fur matted and their fur gets tangled together. Oh, yeah, and they stick. And like 20 rats stick together and it's called a rat king and they end up starving to death. It's fucking this weird natural phenomenon that happens. It's like 18 rats all tied together at the ass by matted...
Do it, Fluck. What if they all survive and they just eat everything? Remember Critters, the 1980s horror movie? Where they would roll around and eat everything? Oh, and they'd make that big critter? Yeah. Roll over houses and shit? You need another reason not to live in New York. They got rat kings. They got balls of rats. Great. It's like that story of the...
The mouse utopia. You ever read that story? Mouse utopia? Where they were like, oh, we're going to get all these mice and then put them in this perfect utopia of a mouse house. And it's gigantic. So they can like breed and do all this. They did it twice or three times. Every time civilization would collapse.
Like it would go really big. It would turn in beautiful. And then once that happened, you just watch. They would go to different. Yeah. The mice would break off into sectors. They'd have the gay, pretty mice that wouldn't touch other. They wouldn't.
procreate or anything they would just hang out they wouldn't socialize with anyone then they had the the cannibal mice that would go eat like other mice then you'd have the um there was different hierarchies and then finally they just all died let's cut through the bullshit what were the gas prices
But it's a fucking, it's a great, they have a doc, it's a doc. And they did it a few times in like every time we build this, you can have just brand new mice. You throw it in there, give it, I think it's six months or a year. It will cannibalize itself and just everyone will die off. They'll hit a point. And then it's just. I wonder how close you are to that like right now. I think we're getting there. We're getting pretty close. Like I don't know if I want to eat dudes yet. There's still like beef and deer around, but. How much do you need to do, Benny?
How much dude that's an important question?
Dude jerky is my favorite. It's a new product. Man, you want some dude jerky? Hi, Nick. Welcome back. Hi. I'm happy to be here. Spiraled out of control very fast. It's okay. It's okay. Oh, we did talk about video games last time. Yes. Yeah, they talked about video games. In between buttholes. I listened to it. Yeah.
We can talk about video games too. Sauron's like in the middle of the Venn diagram between Caleb's life situation and video games. Lord of the Rings. There's some overlap there. Just a small amount of it.
No, what are you going? You have something. Can we talk about the Humvee? Yeah. Okay. We can talk about Humvees. I'm mad at them. I was going to do a video on them, but I didn't have time before I came here. So, you know, it's fine. Just get this up by Wednesday and you're good. I need it up by like, I don't know, Friday, Saturday, something like that. Oh, see, it's perfect. It was like, I don't know. We were talking about how big of a failure Humvees are and aren't all at the same time. Because veterans generally love the Humvee or they hate the Humvee. Both. Both.
But the caveat is everybody that hates it if you were like would you pay five grand for one? They're all like fuck. Yeah, we immediately everybody hates the Humvee They just resent the fact that they were forced to use it for a bunch of shit that it was never meant to do
Nobody realizes that like I grew up playing twisted metals like oh Humvees are fucking dope. Oh, yeah, dude The only two people I remember twisted metal was axle the guy with the two big wheels in his arms He was an axle. He was an axle worst choice for a What was the class name screamo or some shit I
This clown was um something a list. Oh was the person that put on the event and it was a big tooth was the clown Because it was nice ice cream man ice cream and yeah, which his story's super fucking they're all fuck I remember the you when you'd win with one of it break down the store and everything you're like, holy fuck dude We just like to kill people and kids like that was his you know what a Humvee was like meant for and
Originally like what it was supposed to do. No, actually the Humvee everybody knows how Humvee is like spelled It's actually just the acronym HMMW V which is high mobility multi-purpose wheeled vehicle It's multi-purpose because in Vietnam it was supposed to replace three different vehicles and do all their job at the same time So it was resposed to replace the Jeep
Gamma goat which is like this weird semi amphibious six-wheel cargo truck and The it's like the fucking utility something basically where they take the commercial trucks and they spray-paint them OD green fucking the the GMC The gamma go yeah, it's this weird amphibious tractor looking Italian it was supposed to replace all three of them go
Basically, it's supposed to be a fucking government. It's supposed to be a government side by side that can pull a trailer basically and drive through a river. That's what it's supposed to do. It's not supposed to drive down the fucking freeway ever, which is the biggest catfish of the amount of Humvees. I drove for like six plus hours because I was on rear deck for a while. So not comfortable. And that's what we were doing. We would anytime we would have to go to a new army or go from Vermont to New York through the Adirondacks and a Humvee, bro.
The amount of times I just, we'd be going and we'd get on the radio, "Humby broke down, can't make it up this fucking hill!" Dude, they struggle at- That- dude, hills? You see that fan kick on?
Just start screaming. No, I see sounds like a fucking herd of goats under the hood 65 miles an hour then you if you can hear over the sound of the engine The only thing you hear is the sound of wind desperately trying to get past the 90-degree fucking windshield because you're driving a fucking Lego down the freeway
It has the worst aerodynamics. It's literally a brick. Just... It's like three bricks. It's like brick, brick.
And then wheels, unfortunately, attached to it. You go to get on the on-ramp to the freeway the first time, you have that gut-sinking realization of the gas pedal's not an accelerator, it's just a button that makes it fucking louder. You don't actually go any faster. I don't miss that beat. The up-armor warms are so much slower because they don't increase the power. They're just like, this struggles already no matter what. Put the armor on it. Yeah. 9,000 pounds. How much is it? 9,000? They weigh 9,000 pounds, the up-armored ones. God.
Like let's add that and we'll be fine and it's like really getting through I read to be fair They did upgrade the horsepower on those did those are a turbo diesel they got 190 horsepower as opposed to the original 170 They added 3,000 pounds of fucking steel and they're like 20 more horsepowers They only increased it by 20 I'm pretty sure don't I'm not me but I'm fairly confident I'm more historian now fuck
It's a hundred and the original is 160. They're either 160 or 170. Like it's the same. It's the same motor. They just added turbos. I'm pretty sure. Oh, oh, I just love that. The baseline is 170 horsepower. And then that until 2000. And I mean, we're still using those in the fucking Middle East.
Oh, I love. So I did that whole video on the gun trucks from Vietnam. It was the same thing in like 03 in Iraq with the Humvees. Like just a bunch of grunts just start welding plate armor on their Humvees because they're like, well, this is fucking bullshit. Yeah, because they were soft. They were little canvas. Yeah, they were canvas soft tops. Or no, like take off the doors and just drive. And you're like, man, this is real bad at stopping bullets. It's air between us isn't real good. Oh.
Don't want to use my buddy, but like my passengers now my Bullets fuck those vehicles like I fuck I've never we did strikers So I didn't really have to fuck around with Humvees and remember the first time you drove a Humvee though Yeah, like I don't I can't speak for everybody like I was National Guard But it was like it's like me we need some volunteers to drive six Humvees to a different state and drop them off and bust back you're like I
Fuck yeah, I want to drive a humvee. Oh, and then you're like 200 degrees out. Why isn't anybody else volunteering right? But I don't know that yet All I know is twisted metal humvees fucking bomb. I've seen commando. Let's go do this Supply and get the log book and the the key You're like why is the key for the Humvee say master lock on it I
Then you get out of the Humvee and there are no keys. It's just a steel cable that they wrap around the steering wheel. It's the only security. There's no locks on the doors, no key to fucking start it, nothing. You're just like this.
If the last guy to use it didn't cable it right you could still just drive the damn thing The the fucking driver seats literally a like the cushion from a piece of patio furniture on top of a piece of metal I've sat on comfier Remember the doors have to go out you have to PMCS your fucking Humvee make sure it's good and we gotta think a bunch of grunts who've never worked on a car a day in their life they're like all right open the hood and
Okay, yep. Confirm everything just goes through a list of shit. You're like twerking you just close the hood and you get in and you're like ahhh. You check the blinkers. I'm like I know how to do that. Hit the stick, hit the stick, we're gonna break lights. Sure.
I forgot about how the first time I drove a Humvee, we stopped at a gas station like, I don't know, what, two hours later? Because they hold 25 gallons and they get like seven miles per gallon. On a good day. So we stopped at a fucking gas station. I vividly remember it because I immediately pulled my phone out and Googled, how old do you have to be to be immune to shaking baby syndrome? What the fuck is that?
The whole time. It was terrible. No AC, no... They don't even have heaters, do they? I can't believe it. No, they have heaters. No. No, they have heaters. Bull... I was in Vermont in the winter. Believe me, they have heaters. Yeah, right. I promise you they do. Right. They got heaters like a killer whale has fucking thumbs. Real fucking helpful.
Jesus Christ. I'm telling you, man. If you want to be cold in the winter and hot in the summer, get a fucking Humvee. God forbid it's fucking raining because whatever half of you is touching a fucking exit, that's going to be fucking wet.
So they just leave no matter why it was water. You know why? Because it's a semi amphibious fucking vehicle. That's why the body's made out of aluminum. They weren't meant for daily transportation. It was meant to be a side by side for the fucking army. And that's it. And we're like, yeah, fuck it. Drive it down the freeway. It's fine. When's the last time you went camping and drove your side by side to the campground? Fucking never. And
And Uncle Sam's like, I don't understand why you guys don't like it. I paid $220,000 a piece for this pile of shit. No shit? Yeah, $220,000. No, not up-armored. What the fuck? Much cheaper right now.
They're, oh God. Yeah. They're just, I didn't realize they were that fucking much. Holy shit, man. The government is so good at spending money. So bad. So good. And then like, and the better part is they're trying to push that they want the military to convert to all electric vehicles. Like that's the worst thing I've ever heard in my entire life. They want to go all electric. Yeah. Why? There's for the environment.
When you're in war. When you're in war. Nobody's more pro electric car than me, an electrician. But that shit's fucking dumb. I don't know how much you know about power, but you need like infrastructure. When's the last time you saw power lines in a fucking battlefield?
That too. Ever. Like you want to, you're just adding links in the supply chain. Like instead of just, instead of just putting gas or sorry, diesel JP eight, if you will, in the fucking Humvees, it's going to be a generator full of JP eight. That's burning. And then you charge the Humvee.
God knows Joe ain't good at shutting off the lights on the Humvee. He's just killing the batteries and everything. How many times do you have to jump a Humvee? You have that slave cable out, that big fucking thing. You try to back the Humvee so they're kind of close to each other. I just picture you're driving up. It's dead silent because it's all electric. Then you call in a fucking F-30. We'll call them an F-38. It's an electric plane that comes in. You're like, God, we're saving the environment. Okay, drop the J-dam there. Right there. Boom!
Boom! And you're like, oh yeah, they were still fucking shit up in the end. I need body bags and a cartographer. We need to change the topographical map. That bitch is gone. Fucking Christ. Dude, JDAMS. Did you ever see any JDAMS drought?
That is the fastest way you get every infantry dude on a mission to shut up. It's like the J-Dub is about to drop, we're all like... Just everyone's like peeking over the hilltop. We're just like looking like, what's it coming? Dude, this is gonna be fucking dope. You're just waiting to blow up a bridge or something. It's just complete silence. The only time you'll have just complete utter silence is waiting for that thing. It's like, boom! Yeah! God, we're so tactical. Yeah.
A bunch of fucking idiots. I imagine one like dropping on a village and the new soldiers, new age soldiers being like, we stopped their carbon footprint. Take that villagers. Look at these dead little polluters.
They were burning trash. We stopped back. You know what? Captain, play! Pillows of smoke from all the houses burning. We did it! We should try to just, like, come up with a bomb that every time it drops, it plants, like, a tree. Like, it's got a fucking acorn in it. Or, like, on the way down, it releases those little helicopter things everywhere. So it's green. You're planting trees while you're dropping bombs. It's like a dandelion. It literally...
blows up it sends shrapnel but that shrapnel it's a big ass bomb though like a thousand i want a fucking small mushroom cloud i want a small mushroom cloud but it shoots out pieces of shrapnel that have seeds attached so it plants beautiful trees that's exactly the type of dumb shit you could get a government contract for oh yeah 100 everyone would approve it too it'd be like 100 next week on unsubscribe we're rich bitches they bought it
We have to develop in one year California is so happy with our missiles Guys I have an idea on how to fix LA now hear me out The homeless problem gone. What's this bomb called gentrification? Question mark? It only burns tents it's so weird
He's like, why did I come back? I haven't quit my day job yet. So that's good. I don't know. Get away with a lot on the construction site. That is very true.
So what else? Wait, you, you've been gone for like fucking everyone misses you. You got a new vehicle. I love you, but I'm going to lay in right now. Have you used hashtag van life yet?
Fuck no you were telling me about that. Don't tell him about the van life thing. What do you want me to do? I'm an electrician and like we don't use trucks. We call them trucks but really it's a big empty cargo vans that are plain Jane and usually they're pretty cheap and that's what we work out of and we you know build little shells for all our tools and all our material and you know we go job site to job site we move electrons like take them here put them over there that's my whole fucking job.
My boss is trying to buy me a new fucking van and he's like bro They're like 70 grand for a plain Jane empty fucking van. It's like why I was like It's all the fucking hashtag van life hippies that are buying these things and turning them into fucking houses and living out of them You cannot find one to just work out of to like do a job. I
- It's impossible. - #VanLife. - #VanLife, thank you for that. You're ruining the construction industry. Way to go. - So you can't even get one right now? - You can, they're like triple what they're supposed to be.
I'm not surprised, actually. Like, white paint, manual windows, heater, air conditioning, a radio with a fucking cassette player in 2022. That's what, like, a work truck is. And then you slap your company logo on the side, throw your tools in the back. $76,000. They're supposed to be, like, $23,000. Have you looked at, like, repoed ones? Have you thought about stealing a van? I know where there's one. See, like, you guys can get away with that here. Like, I'm from Mason City, Iowa. You can't steal shit.
I guarantee there are some pedos that got their repoed. If you zoom in on Iowa, like Mason City is like one of the big cities. Slightly used. Ex-pedo van. Who'd you get it from? Last name Gacy. John Wayne Gacy. 60% off though.
Just don't hold a blacklight to it does it does it does it actually come with free candy or no? On the floor of the van just yeah next just pushing the candy fucking Clean out his new van I Hate this I'm so happy you guys brought me here like yesterday though yesterday fucking rag bride went through the town I live in and I hate it who ragabri
Rag-Rye is this? Okay, Rag-Rye is like, no. Are you making something up? Iowa has a river on each side of it. It's the Mississippi, and I think it's the Colorado. And there's this big fucking bicyclist event where you go and you dunk your front tire in the Colorado River, and then you ride your bicycle across all of Iowa, and every night you stop in a different town.
- This is what you guys do in Iowa? - Dude, no, people from all over the country go to Iowa to do it. - People go to Iowa? - It's this huge biker event. 28,000 bicyclists did it this year, and I fucking hate it.
Okay, I live in one of the bigger cities in Iowa. We have a population of 28,000. You want to know what happens when 28,000 motherfuckers on bicycles and spandex show up into your little fucking town in Iowa? It's like the fucking plague of locusts. None of your internet fucking works. There's just people every... It's terrible. It's fucking awful. I just picture an old person doing their yard and they just hear like...
You know you don't have data like the day before or the day after they come to your fucking town you have no Wi-Fi They soak up all the internet. There's no infrastructure for a whole nother city fucking people They just move in for a day and live in fucking tents They eat all our food They steal our women
What is the bars? What do they do? They're bicyclists. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. So they show up. They're still older, man. All these truck vendors come to town and they tried their best to support them. And every night there's a different event. So like Mason City had fucking Sugar Ray and the lead singer from the Eagles come and do a concert in the middle of my small ass Iowa town. Super weird. Sugar Ray? They were like, yeah.
I think he's saying, I just want to die. It costs what? $2,000 to get them to play? I don't know. We could probably show you around the podcast. There's some bikes coming through San Antonio. Can you come on our podcast? I've never heard of this event. So it's just one day they just stop. Every year, it's like every third year they go through my town and every year I'm like,
Like my dad called me bitch and he's like I can't even get to work because they shut off my fucking street Because they need a like the main four-lane road going through my city fucking seal it off bicycles all the way four lanes mile fucking long I guess bicycles and then you got like a
Bicycles it's like alright that could be kind of fun But then you get these people that have those bikes where you're like Laying down like it's a fucking lazy boy It's like what the fuck are you doing Are you exercising or not They're like laying down pedaling Like fully prone On their back I hate it I know what you're talking about people are fucking weird I don't know when you transition to that You look at a normal bike and you're like nah That one Give me the one where I can lay down and drink a beer off my chest Legit It's gonna look
But if they get T-boned by a car, they are not that good. I fucked no T-boners. I worked in high school. They went through the town I grew up in. And I worked at a fucking pizza place in the Midwest called Pizza Ranch. Like, it's a big deal there. It's a pizza buffet. Oh, Pizza Ranch. Yeah. So I worked at Pizza Ranch.
Why do you know Pizza Ranch? What's the logo? It's the red? Because every year when or every election year when the president goes to Iowa first because the Iowa caucuses, they have the primary. They always go eat at Pizza Ranch because it's like an Iowa Midwest thing. Yeah, exactly. Thank you.
Not gonna argue with it. I get it. It's a ranch. He's ranch. So they fucking eat that in this episode pizza 28,000 sweaty people in spandex show up wanting pizza just like pulling money out of Pockets just handing me sweaty dollar bills all fucking day and my stripper birthday. This is gross But then like by far I've never wanted to chokeslam anybody more in my entire life than the Karen that was like Hey, you guys don't have pasta on your buffet. I
That's Pizza Ranch not fucking pasta ranch bitch like fuck is your problem. See here's tell me you don't have pasta Yeah, yeah, you just pull out the sign. This is pizza pizza ranch. Did you make a big deal? Oh, dude There's a fucking line going out the door and down two fucking blocks Just trying to feed these fucking people and she's like cuts in front of everybody like I want a refund and
Oh, no. I couldn't do customer service anymore. I'm 15 years old. I can't do a refund because I'm not a fucking manager. Terrible. Oh, just everyone's getting mad now. And there is no and she's part of the gang. She's a fucking bicyclist. And like, yeah, bro, why don't you have fucking pasta? It's Pizza Ranch, bro.
- It was awful. - I could never do customer service anymore, period. - Period. - I know bad customer service, like when I get it. For the most part, everyone's really cool, but someone, you give me like the slightest amount of lip now, I have zero patience with that. I'll be like, "Bang, ring." - Super kind. - And I'm like, "Yeah, okay, like, will we do this?" It's like, "Well, blah, blah." Like, "Okay, we're gonna."
Shift the tone real fucking fast. You guys have Jimmy Jones here. Yeah, it's the bane of my existence. It's awful I hate Jimmy John's just tastes like mayonnaise every sandwich every fucking time I'm telling I've been to Jimmy John's 20 fucking times. I won't go anymore every time fuck up my order freaky fast freaky fucking wrong every fucking time It's like I just want avocado and no fucking onions guess what I get no avocado and fucking onions And I got to pay for the avocado every goddamn time
The sandwiches aren't good there. I don't know why people go crazy Jersey Mike's is my Jersey Mike's pretty good. I've never been to a Jersey Mike's well they I What wife pregnant she's like I want Jimmy John's like well, I'm gonna get her whatever she wants right? She's pregnant. She's got a craving I'm gonna go get it. Hey, I Walk into Jimmy John's cuz I hate fucking drive turn around go in I'm like I need a number two no tomatoes this motherfucker looks me dead in the eyes and goes I
We're too busy for custom orders right now.
I don't want you to paint fucking flames on it. Just don't fucking put tomatoes on the motherfucker when you make it What do you mean you can't do custom orders? It's a fucking sandwich When you're making the sandwich, it actually speeds it up because you're missing a step now You're gonna look at the diagram And then we take them off One This makes it so much more difficult But like, what could I do? I refuse to be the male Karen to bitch about it and ask for the manager's sales list to like
Okay, I'll take them off myself and then I just went about my day but like what I would do at the counter you open the sandwich up you look at the guy you like I just drop them on the floor but I'm too busy To make it to the trash can and you walk out the door you just like go fuck yourself like the wheels I will Yeah, the rims. This is my favorite
Oh, have you told the story of the podcast yet? No. My wheel, I have custom wheels built for the old Porsche. Oh, yeah. I've been following this on Instagram. Oh, yeah. This is wonderful. Yeah. Please. Fuck heads. Fuck heads. I spent a lot of money trying to figure out the solution because I didn't think the problem was the custom wheels. That was the last time I thought it would be the problem. I was like, it's got to be.
Balancing took him to different shops to get balanced the second shop went to get the tires balanced and it was like they're like They're balanced with the last shot balanced him wrong. I was like, okay like make sense to me just a very what was wrong initially Yeah vibrate and went took it got corner balanced all race tracked out lowered all the nice stuff for like weight management and like handling so
But it was like, blah, blah, blah. I did this in Forza once, too. Yeah. And I was like, ha, balance, rebalance.
Next shop took it the third shop. I was like a second shop was like well, they're balanced the last shop didn't balance them, right? We rebalance them, but I think it's this just switch out adjustable tie rod ends I get nice adjustable tie rods and funny story porch parts are cheap. So sorry, it's bought more of that and this is all Suspension anyways, I have like coilovers all that already done to the vehicle. So I was like, okay do that read Align it didn't need to took it to a new shop for the bounce because it was still like that
God damn it. New shop. They're like, the last shop didn't balance them right. We got you this time. I was like, asshole put a playing card in them. I was like, fucking no.
And 40 miles an hour. I was like, son of a bitch. So I was like, four shop. Dude, last people didn't balance a ride. I was like, what the fuck? No one can balance these. Like, that's weird. Went, same thing. He's like, they're like, these are balanced now. And I was like, okay, this is fucking dope. I don't know what the fuck the issue is. I was like, man, these wheels, it has to be the fucking wheels. Take it to my buddy's shop.
And they charge a couple hundred dollars to figure out. They were like going through stuff and they're like, man, they just popped the wheels on the back. They drove it. And then they sent me a video. It's like the outer round. So it's just like the second it gets up to speed, it's like, well, that's why it fucking vibrates.
Send it to them. I was like, hey, the wheels are bent out around. And I sent it back to the company. I was like, hey, can you fucking fix this? Or regular fix it. Or just give me the fucking wheels. Just give me fucking wheels. I don't care if they're mine. Just give me some fucking wheels that are round. So I was like, send it back. Told them to a fucking T what to do. And they're like,
no the wheels were unbalanced I was like you are the fifth fucking shop to tell me the wheels have not been balanced but you guys fixed it you guys fucking fixed it thank you I was like can you hold the camera to the wheels on a tripod well first I said just hold the camera and you'll see it fucking wobbles at high speed I was like or tripod it and do that we don't have a tripod sir I was like
to fucking set up a box like we do with our lives step one get a mask go to www.amazon.com fucking buy one $15 they
They didn't do that. Then they blamed my car suspension. Sent them. They were like, oh, it's not the wheels are fine, sir. It's in their balance now. So it's your car suspension. Went out, drove my car with different wheels on it. Send it back. I was like, this is me going 70 miles per hour. No hands on the wheel. See any fucking vibration? Not a goddamn thing. So it's not my car. Sent that. I was like, it's not the fucking thing. This is what it is. This is what it is. Are we allowed to shit talk the company? Do we know the company? Are we going to get your wheels dot com? Jason, fuck you.
And then Forge Star. Get your wheels.com. Here's what I need you to understand. Human society has been built around technology. Level one, we unlocked thumbs. Level two, we unlocked pointy fucking sticks. And then level three, we unlocked wheels and you're fucking up level three. Okay? We can build a skyscraper and go to the moon and you guys are fucking up circles. I need you to get your shit together.
Fuck these people. After like all this shit, because now I wouldn't have said their name. I've been so patient. I never announced there any, like the companies that did it. You just been complaining about busted ass wheels. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to fucking say anything until finally I spent also $390 to ship my wheels back just to them to argue what was wrong with it. They wouldn't do what I said. Then they blamed my tire for a tire spotting or something like that, which takes 10 to 20,000 miles. My wheels have a hundred,
a hundred miles on them in totality because I don't get to fucking drive my car because it's always trying to figure out what's wrong. So they were like, oh, we'll ship them back. We got it all fixed. I was like, no, you didn't. But send them fucking back, back and forth. They're fucking bent. They're fucking bent. They're out around the...
Send them the videos of the wobble did all that they kicked you literally had a video of the wheels just fucking You even had like a machinist dial on the needle was just fucking dancing like a motherfucker That's when I got it back. I went I was like, let's go to meter tested fucking. Let's just do the dial indicator I was like, let's fucking do a dial indicator and then the needles just like And the the shops are like, yeah, those are fucking out around shit or bent whatever I was like dope and
Call the shop up, Jason, at getyourwheels.com, and I'm like, hey, the wheels are fucking out of round. No, you couldn't have balanced them if they were. They're fucking balanced. I have a video of that and this. Oh, no, it's not possible. I was like, I literally, and I was like, mechanics, are these balanced? They're balanced. Are they out of round? 100% out of round. These are fucked. You know the balls it takes to be like, you can't balance anything if it's not a circle? Yeah.
Tell that to fucking physics or any gymnast ever. Like, sorry, you can't balance. You're not a circle, bitch. I fucking hate it. It doesn't even make sense. You're just like, what the fuck? Are you listening to yourself, bro? Their response? Oh, well, fuck. Okay, well, we'll get you a discount on your next wheels you order from us. I was like,
no no i'm not getting a fucking disc so you're saying i have two paperweights that i cannot use yeah well it's been a while i was like because i couldn't i shipped these and i don't know why i told you many times these wheels are fucked i was like and then i had to call four star four stars like well no because we we uh the second you mount a tire on them we're no longer responsible i was like so you send me a faulty fucking product and the second the tires mounted it's
My problem? And they're like, yeah, sure. The second you use it and find out it's a piece of shit, it's your problem. It's yours. And then so back and forth, nothing gets accomplished. Forrest was like, we can't do anything. And then fucking Jason was just like, no, we'll give you it, bro. You know what?
We told them this. I sent emails. I was like, no, this is what you fucking said. You've said they're fine. Then you was like, oh yeah, they are out around. I was like, I have emails and thing. Oh yeah, they were out around and they're perfect. And he lied and like all this shit. And the end of it, he's like, we got you $50 off on your next set of wheels. I was like, go fuck. After I got that last tax of you get $50 off with free shipping. I was like, go fuck yourself. Moral of the story is,
Always take care of the customer because they might have a semi successful podcast for 20 minutes
Dude, and I was so paid. It's like if they would have just been like hey, we're sorry We fucked up like obviously we fucked up and then you're like cool dope nothing would happen happens. I understand shit But but when your boy has to pay like three hundred ninety dollars to ship my fucking broke-ass wheels Then you argue with me the entire time if a if a customer is sending you like proof the video
I'm not trying to get free shit at that point. If I'm like, bro, these wheels are fucked up. I can't drive my fucking car. Like here, here, here. And then like $50 off. We got you buddy. And you're like,
Yeah, you're gonna fucking burn to the ground. I fucking hate you. I hate all. Okay, Forge Star and fucking getyourwheels.com. Go fuck yourselves. I'm gonna make a video now. That's gonna be... He's gonna need this later. Can we upload this straight to Yelp? Dude, what was great is when I was posting the stories, I would get DMs that people would be like, like, where'd you get those from? I have Forge Stars I had problems with. I was like, oh, this company...
And they said that exact company. They're like, nobody wants Bush. He's like, this is nectar. The cobs tell me the fucking you betcha guy is like doing tours and grocery stores right now selling Bush light. I'm jealous. Who? That dude that he, uh, he's got a pot belly up podcast. He goes, Oh, you betcha. He just makes fun of fucking Midwestern people the whole time. He's hilarious.
He's doing a tour of fucking Heidi's which is like our grocery stores are what do you guys have here Hebs? I don't know why your your $50 off coupon reminded me of it some Some dude from Australia bought one of my like unhealth care provider like patches dude paid $75 for shipping and he just bought a patch and
He likes it more stuff. Oh, I would have sent more stuff He just DM me on this to Graham he's like hey, bro. He sent me the receipt It's like I really wanted this patch like holy fuck. I'm gonna kick you a nice video Shout out to you if you're watching this Australia guy, that's how much you mean to him you're an Australian patch guy. Yeah
It's a deep love. I spent all day at Bunker. I told them about it. They're like, holy shit. That's fucking crazy. Batty, also. Okay, I got this. I got this. Today's episode is brought to you by Not My Bush Light, but out of Reg's beard oil company, Batty just got a new flavor where he's got... Flavor we're eating? Flavor, yeah. Oh, you don't? Yeah. Scent. Yep.
I mean don't drink don't open it. Don't open it. We're gonna spill it if we open it. I don't want that shit. It's gonna just crack it. Just crack it. Just stop it. Stop it. It smells real good. Oh that smells like hashtag van life. Smells like ginger in my nut. I mean coconut.
- My favorite thing to say now. - Anyways, today's episode is brought to you by Adorex Beard Products, where my new best friend, Batty, wearing his own jersey, just got his own flavor of beard oil and pomade and mustache wax. It definitely hasn't come. It's a picture of an orange wearing night vision goggles, 'cause Batty just got some night vision goggles. - That's not mine. - They're different. - What, excuse me? - They're different. - Oh, sorry, that's smooth operator. Batty's just got beard cream and beard oil.
I don't know if you guys realize this but baddie is spelled with two D's so it reads as bad die Which is really convenient So yeah, Aderegs, I believe the code is cum 20? Yeah, use the code cum 20 at Aderegs with a Z dot com because this is 2002 and we're at the X Games *laughter*
I'm never doing an iRead again. We're just gonna play that one. I know, we're just gonna cut that segment out and just like, eh, put it right here. The best part was the pushing all the cans out over it. Yeah, knocking over cans. Batty's first product in person. No, we don't want to block it.
Try not to hide your beautiful face. I just like it's the first time you could have done your own ad read He's like I got you
People used to get mad at me when I was like Raider host them on Twitch and I had my first emote was just bad die It was that was just that they're like, what do you mean bad die? You threatening? Do you think I'm bad at this game? Do this? I'm like, this is my name. Sorry Yelled out for your name. I yelled out for my emote because we were like this rude dude. I'm like dude, that's my name What about Elmo? What? Elmo? He said Elmo.
I'm so confused. Okay, it's fine. I was like, where is this going? Moving on. Dude, I will say, watching Bounty stream the other day, and you get one person, but he's like, I have a migraine. And then I just get to watch everyone give recommendations on how to fix your migraine. Dude, WebMD on the internet. Have you tried drinking some water? No, I've been purposely dehydrating myself for the last four days to try to just fucking myself. It's like your AC thing.
I was just gonna say the same thing. Can we talk about how hot it isn't in here right now? I'm amazed. It's just the fan. We got that fan. And it also wasn't 108 degrees in Texas today. I don't know if that's really what the difference is, is that fan is fucking... It's just moving air. Shout out to Honeywell and physics for fucking... Our secondary sponsor. The lack of ball sweat I have is shocking right now. I was prepared for so much more.
I went to bunker and they gave me my new shirt that comes out next month. And it's like, I was like, I got to fucking wear it for the podcast, but it's got sleeves and that's going to be fucking terrible in Maddie's house.
New fan. It can be awful. That fan does not, because it is like a Humvee in front of me with aerodynamics. That air does not hit me. It is displaced. All on you guys. My balls are very hot over here. Are you familiar with the USS Wisconsin? Oh, boy. You talked about it last time. No, I didn't. Are you sure? Not the Wisconsin. No, it was the... No, you talked about the USS... That was the USS Barb.
Well the barb in the other one, the one you hate, fuck. Because I'm not allowed to talk about it, the Yamato? The Yamato, you hate the Yamato. Oh fuck, don't even get me started on the Yamato. I was gonna rip on it for like 10 minutes straight and then I got assaulted by a light, but now I've got a cop here to protect me.
Thank God you're not too tan. Can we talk about the superhero powers? The fact that your donut operator and your alter ego isn't don't nut operator where you just touch people and they come is shocking. That's Matt's power. Is that really? That's power is he touches people and they come. I get Matt.
Best? Matt with one T? Best? I get that. I remember being in high school watching the original Article 15 videos and Matt Best is like the shit and then I meet him in person outside of a restaurant and it's like, Hi! It's really great to meet you. You're way fucking bigger than I thought you'd be.
I forgot about all those original old fucking videos. They were the best. I used to see him on Facebook constantly. Dude, that OG time frame. I get roasted by my own fan base for like, good for you talking about the military and selling t-shirts. That's never been done before. Shout out to Matt Best for just forging the path. I'm walking down.
With dollars. Yeah. Oh no, I make money off of this. How dare you? I think I really want to branch out and do something nobody's ever done before. I'm gonna start a coffee company. We're gonna call it like a beige pistol coffee company, I think. Let's call it White Pistol. Yeah, whatever. Sure, why not? Oh my god. Anyways, USS Wisconsin. I misspelled whiskey on my shirt.
I was wondering about that. I didn't know. So it's not misspelled. I lost my mind for six hours the other day. Swear to God. The USS Wisconsin's nickname is the Big Whiskey. And I was like, I'm making a shirt for it because I made a video about it. It's people want a shirt. I'm going to make it like I go to spell Big Whiskey and I'm like, I'm going to double check it just because I don't want to sell people a shirt with the wrong fucking nickname on it. And they're like, there's no H.
I was like, well, that makes sense because USS Wisconsin WIS is the abbreviation for the state. Okay, that makes sense to me. Well, then it's like every other article spelled it with an E. Some spelled it without an E. I'm just losing my fucking mind being like, which is it? So then I find out why whiskey is spelled with an E and without an E with an H. And it turns out that American and Irish drinks have the E and none other do. So there's no E. It's just a Y.
It's like a Mandela effect. I don't know. It's fucking weird. I lost my shit. Long story short, I ended up calling the USS Wisconsin fucking gift shop and being like, hey...
Hi, I make videos on the internet and I'm fucking stupid. Will you go read and spell out what your merch says in your merch store for Big Whiskey? And she spelled it out for me and I'm like, sir, I'm dope. I'm running with that. Goodbye, sir. This is an Applebee's. I have the call recorded. She's like, is that really all you wanted? I was like, yeah, I know this seems really dumb, but I really appreciate it.
So, yeah, I spelled it right. I'm positive. No, it's really annoying. Speaking of not to cut off your whiskey shirt with a mandala effect shit. You remember a scary movie that grabbed my strong arm guy? He never said that. Take my strong arm. Nope. Yes, he did. No, he didn't. Yes, he did.
Will fight you right now. That's worried said take this is like grab my other hand or some shit and it's been Mandela effect It's it's no it says grab my strong Take my strong hand cuz then he wiggles it There's no fucking way What was the one that you found the other way dude that chick-fil-a I was like yo because you had like both versions you were posting about it. Yeah, don't got me
Because, well, the thing that was weird about yours with the Chick-fil-A. Black, hold on. You take my little hand. I found out yesterday. No, get it away.
I hate everything. I found out, or two days ago I found out. I didn't believe it either. I had to look it up and I was like. I still don't believe you. I don't believe what I said. The thing with donuts though is like, it's the K in Chick-fil-A, right? Yeah. The thing with yours is you brought that up literally like within 24 hours of them starting the CERN Super Collider back up. I was like, fuck!
Literally within 24 hours and donuts like bro Chick-fil-A is spelled wrong. I swear to God. Oh my God, it is. It's always based off of that. Dude, there are so many message boards online because growing up, I swear to God, it was CHIC. And then I read all these message boards online where people are like, yeah, I used to work at the Burger King beside Chick-fil-A and we used to make fun of it because we said it's Chic-fil-A. Wait, is it not CHIC? No, there's a K in it. Now there is.
Yeah. Uh-huh. What? Yeah. Welcome to the alternate dimension. Are you sure? Positive. But then there are some people who are saying there's no C, it's C-H-I-K. So, I don't know. We collided with like two or three different dimensions or something. I don't know. There's a K! And I'm a bitch and all of them, it sucks. But you had those pictures of it like with the C-K. Yeah.
There's a word for that because I got oh god. I went down the rabbit hole of Mandela effect And there's a lot of them you're like there's so many and I was like oh this hurts. I'm gonna like this Yeah, right. I thought it was chick with a kick. I thought I was chick then at the dash then I hope it Intensifies like I hope it's real I hope all realities are clashing and I like nothing would make me happier than if baddie wakes up one morning with no fucking neck tattoo And everybody's like you dude you've never had neck tattoos. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I
What's up cake operator? Donut operator. No, it's not it's never been that you don't like it cops like cake Wait what did you write out the death pool? Patty did you do the death pool? Nice
Wait, how do I get in on this? You want to die first? Oh, for sure. We're due for one soon. Yeah, we're really overdue on a friend death. I'm not, like, look, I love my son, but I love him so much I want him to be a superhero, and just superheroes don't really have dads, so I need to get out of this picture as soon as possible. You're the origin story. You want me to, like, rob you in front of him and shoot you so it's, like, extra vindictive? Only if you dress up like a clown.
No But yeah, we got the death pool board. We gonna put some names on it and it's good. Basically. It's gonna be your name your Thing that it's who you pick is gonna die first cuz it's good like Cody picks baddie or some shit like that Then we'll probably do
An age. So it'll be the age that they're going to kick it. I like it. I'm now just envisioning you shooting. How old are you? 32. I got batty at 34. I just like picture you killing you in front of his son. And you're like, pow, dressed up as a clown. And you're like, should have been able to protect your father. You squirt him with water and run off. You're like...
Photoshopped onto the fucking Joker now it cuts to that clown school in the Midwest and he's 18 I Pick such or like my I let my wife pick the name for our son and she picked a dope-ass name And I still proceed to make fun of it all the time cuz I have to know god damn it We're gonna come back to that
My son's name is cutter and like I just like he's still a baby. I pick him I was like who's my little three days grace fan Oh God it was back to the Kyle thing and superpowers dude. What's what's your superpower super strength? You know it's bullshit
Like, my name is Kyle, right? Yeah. I was literally the epitome of a Kyle growing up. That wasn't a meme when I was a child. Like, I was a monster swigging, fucking skateboarding, fucking on my BMX bike, just being loud and fucking stupid. I had like a box monster. Punching holes in your drywall. I was not a big wall puncher. I did indeed do that. There's zero drywall in this room. It's all wood paneling.
You haven't seen behind that and why he hung it there now you're gonna get the contractors in the comments like whoa God damn it everyone. Is there any insulation behind that wooden house? I'm writing for now. Yeah, I was a literal Kyle and then the meme became a thing and I was like I hate it's just
It makes sense that I'm mad about it. Hear me out. Looking in the mirror. What if your offender's superpower was like you could control sheetrock like Magneto? How is that not a thing? I just picture Batty floating in on sheetrock and he pulls sheetrock in.
And monster energy drinks. I'll catch him, don't worry. And I put sheetrock around somebody and they're just like... Batty. Batty in a new housing development. Unstoppable. Yeah, he has... He's got a helmet made out of sheetrock. Made out of monster cans. He can control monster energy drink. I just get splashes like, what the fuck is that? Why does it taste like water? Batty, get off. Stop floating. You hear me go... Crack it with one hand and it's like... It flows out. Oh.
Oh my god, bro, you are putting these down. I feel like you guys need to fucking keep up.
I started with a six pack and a beer and we're down to two beers left. Batty, can you even drink Bush Light? I mean, probably. It's shit beer. I can drink shitty beers. You want to drink a shit beer real quick? Take it back. Bush Light is a shit beer. Take it back or I challenge you to a death match. First one to come loses. I'm definitely going to win. 69 on camera. I'll hold the camera. Okay, yeah. How is coming first losing? Whoever's beard smells the worst. How about that?
Cause you'll win that cause I have some brand new Bowdy. I'll win that because I'm gonna do the same thing because of Bowdy's new beard products. I don't like this. Do you eat ass but you don't want anybody to know it? I present to you Bowdy's new beard oil.
I don't like the image of you guys doing anything. Yeah, it's not great. And throw Caleb in there. Oh no! Three bears! Circle to a bunch of bears rubbing butts. They're hibernating. In each other's assholes.
Just picture all three of you naked. So how about them video games guys? Feeding each other salmon out of a river. Walking on all fours. They'll make a bear sound. Any video games you're looking forward to? So, I
I'm actually looking for a PC sponsor if anybody's interested. I'm gonna buy a PC and start streaming on Twitch. We'll see how that goes. Oh, you're gonna be a streamer? I think I'm gonna try. I'm probably gonna play... What's the... Don't say Warzone. No, I'm literally... I wanna play World of Tanks and World of Warships just because of the historical relevance. Like, I can just...
shit on the Yamato the whole time and the Bismarck the whole time. And then like, I want to play Tarkov just so I can hang out with Batty online, but that's about it. Remember when Eli used to do that? Hang out with Batty online? Play Tarkov? Yeah. Don't touch me.
Weird I mean to you sometimes. That's so crazy. How's the wipe been going for you though, Cody? You've been playing the fuck out of Tarkov. It's good, man. Have you been? Yeah. You play with John a lot. Yeah, my son's like super into this wipe, so we've been playing a lot together. It's been fun. I was talking to Landmark yesterday. He's going to take me and Brandon out on some raids here soon. You're going to get the big boy carry. I can't help you with that shit. I'm dog ass at this game. I just play a lot. Yeah.
Landmark will fucking carry it in tomorrow. Willer's fucking monsters at that game. Oh, yeah. See how much money they have for like two days in the wipe. I was like, Willer has like 10 million in like two days. I was like, I had 53 rubles two days ago. What happened? Fuck is a ruble? Russian game currency. In a hurry? What the fuck are you talking about? It's a ruble. Rupees. No, that's Zelda. That's my favorite thing on the planet. I hate your shirt.
I hope it's not. I love it. That's the best thing ever. That's right up there with like... Oh, you want to see nerds get pissed? This and DuPose. Eli, Zelda is a girl. No shit, dumb fucks. It's called irony. I'm going to make a shirt where it's like Gandalf saying, you're a wizard, Luke. With long arms. With long arms. With long arms.
May the prosper be with you. I hate everything. That's a good shirt right there. It's fucking Gandalf. But have him have like, Joe Gandalf going to have a lightsaber in his hand. So are we, are we filming another one of these before I leave? Tomorrow. Is that tomorrow? We're doing it tomorrow? Yeah. Is Joe going to be in it? Who is Joe? Joe Mama. Man, you got him. Don't touch me. I hate it here.
We're gonna do this right up until the last moment
We'll talk about the big whiskies, the ligamas, we'll just talk about it all. You guys going to Zogon? What's Zogon? Zogon, these nuts, bro! You like dragons? What kind of dragons? Dragons, these nuts on your... It was low effort...
I got- yesterday at Topgolf I got Brandon with the shit on your shirt. I got hang time on that one. Thank you for watching the unsubscribe podcast! As always, we are Eli DoubleTap, Cody, Mr. Dog Operator,
In this literal living piece of shit, the fat electrician, where can we find you? YouTube. Nobody cares! Thank you! We'll see you tomorrow with another podcast. I was gonna put my face on the mic. You fucking dunked in the rim and hung there. I was just putting my face on the mic as he did it and I was like, I don't know what to do now. I'm stuck here. I'm stuck here.
