56 - DeathPool ft. Brandon Herrera 01:31:46

I saw a bunch of Dragon Ball collectibles this weekend. Oh, yeah, you were out.

Getting blackout drunk. Living the dream. We were all doing that. Yeah, I just wasn't doing it at home alone. I was at home. Oh, okay. I was in Houston. That was me. I was home alone drinking. I sit next to Eli. Suddenly I'm mean to whoever's in this chair. That's top tier. See, it's the chair. It's the chair back. F***.

You baddie, I'm sorry on subscribe episode whatever it is baddie gets the chair That's that bad he gets the chair. There's the thumbnails waiting him with the sponge like Green my I'm the one with the giant like Fuck there you go, bro. Make that thumbnail everything's recording. Yes. Yes. Yes, we hit all what the fuck bro

That was my first day on the job. That guy's fucking ridiculous. Don't know.

It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to unsubscribe. Hey guys, thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or...

That's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah. Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating. And that's where the, that is... Come subscribe.

I like the first sip is always like I haven't drank in a day and a half and I'm like sweating in the detox I'm like You're do these beers are as cold as your house Guys we have a special guest today

Brandon - Blake you have so many names and we know I'm gonna pour something on your little about you Streams I like that. I just I've just folded to batty streams though. Like when we started What's your preferred pronoun streams, yeah, he's a simple man Oh

It's already starting hard. Well, you just got all the weapons out right now. Yeah, I did. I brought the girls out for a range day. Oh, yeah. First gun either of them had shot ever. 50 count. I put it on the table. I was like, good luck.

Have fun. Well, it's only, you know, it's only downhill from there as far as recoils go. So if they don't totally flip the fuck out, then the Barrett is like the easiest of the 50 cows you could possibly ever shoot. There's nothing to it. It's really not bad. It's like a 20 gauge shotgun, just louder and angry at the end. Just don't go to that end and you're OK. I shot my new Barrett today for the first time. I'm not talking about what it is yet, but that one.

Shot that I was so fucking nervous that thing was gonna blow me up. Is it a screw cap? I'm not gonna talk about what it is. I'm nervous It was gonna blow me up though. Yeah. Well, I was I seriously was just like I Was leaning away from it the first time I fire you get worried about guns It concerns me so much more cuz you're reckless a little bit. Yeah. Well, I still fired it from the shoulder. Oh my god First round out of this thing. Don't know how many it's had through it. Don't know how many it was meant for but I

Kind of terrifying that's I have 50 cows. I don't know those are it now It's terrifying to me and I used to never really be the mag don't fucking mark 19s mark Now I think those around here. Yeah, but it's a mark 19. I mean if that 19 like the the 40 yeah, yeah, well, I mean That's not too bad

Yeah! 'Cause they've got the distance, uh, arming. I hope they don't! Well, it usually works. I mean, yeah! Until it doesn't! Well then, it's not your fucking problem anymore. You know, you're right, you're right, that Mark 19 goes off in that barrel. You were injured in war? Yeah, we'll go with that one. You know what, I've never heard anybody tell a story of them firing a 40 mil and it not working. What a wonderful day to be talking about this, happy Memorial Day! Oh yeah, yeah, no, I forgot.

Forgot to say, yeah, it's barbecue day. Memorial Day, as we are filming here. Eli, happy Memorial Day to you. Thank you, sir. I truly appreciate it. This day is about veterans. Definitely about our living, non-deployed, unhurt veterans, too. I love when people walk up and they're like, thank you, bro. Or I get texts or calls. It's like, bro, bro. I got a handful.

Memorial there's two memorial day to every year you fucked it up They didn't they flip the coin and they're like I know I just wanted to thank you anyways That is such a cop out like I fucked up which day I just was on my mind man

Bro, I was just congratulating you for living, question mark. I'm confused at what I'm supposed to say at this moment. I'm going to buy you a shot. And then it's all good. All is good in the hood then. Buy us a shot. Don't thank me. Buy me a shot. Yeah, and then dump one out for a homie. Good to go. I just wanted to thank you on this Memorial Day and wish you a happy Memorial Day because even though you didn't die in combat, you tried your best. And you know what? That's all we can do. I failed at it.

It's all we can do is our best. All I got was this purple heart. Oh, man. Here we go. You got the Memorial Day Participation Award. That's what it's called now. Hi, non-veterans. We can make these jokes. Brandon can't, so you can cancel him. If it hasn't happened yet.

I'll be shocked if this is what it does. Yeah, this will be the one. Oh my god, Brandon has such a good video we can't talk about coming out. Can we? When's it coming out? Wednesday. Oh yeah, we're good. The reason I was in Houston is I went to the NRA convention. Oh, I saw you make an Instagram story about getting drunk and talking to people. Yeah, so I went relatively incognito into the protest to interview them. How are you incognito? I don't know. I had to change from a t-shirt, whatever, and I'm like,

Okay, I was where a 50 skate shop, you know skater bro merch whatever not wear gun shit And I already got long hair and flip-flops. So kind of like, you know, you know, you're not headed up like oh no They I just look like a pussy You just put on a flannel. I just bitching you flannel. I'm like I wanted to wear like a surgical mask I'm like, I gotta hide the jawline the masculine facial hair. I Wear a shirt one size too big

No, it was uh, but I went behind the scenes and interviewed them and got them to say some really dumb stuff. It was really fun. Oh no, were they just like talking about how they don't know what guns are and shit? No, he got them signed. Can you talk about the paperwork? I did a, I had a petition to disavow the corrupt NRA and instead support an organization that really focuses on positive change for gun laws in America like Firearm Policy Coalition.

Which is a more rabid pro-gun group. And he has papers. Two pages of signatures. Did anybody be like, no. The only person who even asked what it was was just like, oh, yeah, could you tell me a little bit more about this group? And I'm like, put it on the spot. And I'm like, yeah. So unlike the NRA, which is all just a big, just a money grabbing, you know, organization, this group really cares about Americans, you know?

He's just like, oh, that sounds so good, man. So, absolutely. And I am putting their emails in the Fire and Policy Coalition email list. People are so fucking dumb, dude. I got this one chick who's, like, just total shaved head, like, screaming, like, fuck the police as they're handing out water to them, guys. Like, she was just... Had a big thing about AK-47s. She's like, could you just imagine, like...

Anybody around here could have an AK-47. I'm like, I know that is just so scary. Could you imagine like I could have dozens of AK-47s and you'd never know. She's like, I know, right? It's so freaky. I'm like, can you imagine talking to somebody who's got, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't either. I can't sleep at night with this image in my head. And meanwhile, on the inside, like I'm fucking dying. How did you keep a straight face? For some of it, I don't think I did. I'm pretty sure I broke character a few times.

No, that's where I was. I wasn't even going to go to the NRA convention. Like, I don't really care. But I heard there were protesters. And I'm like, oh, okay. That's the content. Now I can go. Oh, God. So what did you do this week? I got absolutely pissed drunk in Dallas.

I did so many jello shots. Why? Oh, I saw that, actually. Your Wolverine handful of jello shots. I missed this. I need to check stories more on Instagram. I'm bad at it sometimes. Yeah, I hung out with Goodzilli. He's another streamer. He does, like, Pokemon content for the most part. That's all he does. And this weekend in Dallas was Collecticon, which is, like, just a massive TCG, whether it's Magic or...

baseball cards like previous weekend was just the small little expo and we got invited out to that so but this was like the actual the big one the big one it was it was cool it was actually a lot of fun you met landmark yeah holy fuck yeah landmark was there dog tag no did you grab his dick no what the fuck is the point that man is wider than you in like three inches taller than me

He's a big boy. He's fucking big no shit. He is a landmark. I did not expect it I did not think he was gonna tall guy super nice, but I don't expect him to be that big like that tall like I was like Oh, he works out all the time. I mean I have no idea. Oh, well you're saying like he looks he's not fat and

He's a fit dude. He's fucking just tall and shit. You said wider. I thought you meant whiter. No. We have wider than Eli. That's pretty fucking normal skin complexion, but okay. Yeah, that's how I did it at first. I was like, he's wider. He's wider. Wider. That makes a little more sense. Yeah. I know he's a really good guy. I was standing in line to get booze, as you do at a concert, because that was also So What Music Festival. So I was there for I Prevail, which is awesome.

Awesome metal band and I mean why he just goes baddie. I looked I'm like I'm a big fucking dude. I'm like, oh shit. You're a big fucking dude That's always the awkward thing when you're out and somebody's just like hey you and you're like it's like how do I know you or do I? You know me what's worse is when there's a silence after where they're like, ah, and I'm like fuck fuck fuck now There's an expectation that I know you like ah

Brains fucking like that hamster here. It's the wheels spin the hamsters just stuck in it at this point. It's not good Mine just gets off I'm not gonna remember your name, but yeah, yeah landmark for a minute drink way too much went to a fucking the select start barcade, which is

Crazy. No shit. It's just like it's like a fucking club, but there's arcade games and everything. See, that would be cool. It was a lot of fun. And we did a whole VIP like bottle service and they did a big like live pack opening for an old school like $500 per pack type shit.

That actually sounds really, really fucking cool. That's the one way to get me into a club. Not for the pound, just that vibe. Just that bottle service. I mean, yeah. I had a bottle of Don Julio that I was just drinking on a railing as I'm sitting over the back of the fucking... Did you buy it? No! I had a pack.

In the box. I bought a pack though. Oh no, but I- the Don Julio and the- No, if you bought a pack, you just got free bottle service. For those who watch the podcast who are unfamiliar with the cost of bottle service because you don't go out. It's stupid. It's- imagine the markup of, you know, gas. Drinks at- well, that. Drinks at a restaurant and then go like triple that. How do you get almost times ten that shit? Depends. Because I've been like a thousand dollars for like Tito's.

It's mostly for the booth, right? It's mostly for your private fuck-off area. And the bar owner, Corey, again, Godzilla, he was the guy doing the opening, so he just let us fucking chill. There's tons of people and he's like, you can sit up front. And I just sat there and got piss-fucking-drunk and then eventually the

They're like a jello shots and like little syringes. Oh yeah. And I was Wolverine in them motherfuckers. Oh, you went hard, hard this weekend. My body hurt driving home yesterday, dude. I was like,

Okay. I couldn't. Oh my God. Well, at least you had a good time. It was an absolute blast. Fucking music festival that I didn't know it was happening until the day of basically. I prevail. I was a little jelly because I was like, oh man, they put on a hell of a show. Fuck man. They have such a good song. You gotta see 303 as well, which I love 303. I don't know. That's my trash music. I'm just still thinking of the infinity gauntlet of jello shots where you just, just one, two, three, four, five blackout. Yeah.

I just- I definitely did three at once. That's bad. I am not going home. No, he just fucking shoots him, he's like... I don't feel so good, Mr. Stark. And then you just fade away. That is... Somebody needs to bake that.

Incredible god damn it. That's what we should have done today. No Brandon has I mean I want a fucking stream later do some work after this but do power hour We were just doing fucking because we haven't done it yet. You probably never done power every 60 seconds you have to take a shot of beer Oh just a shot of beer, but no it adds up so broke it sounds like an innocent game until the 50-minute mark and you're like

That's five beers, right? Six. You're doing seven in an hour. Seven in an hour? Okay, I'm not so good at the maths. The booze helps with the math. Oh, that's true. Yeah, well, it makes you feel better about the booze. Yeah, I mean, you can just say whatever the fuck you want. It doesn't matter if it's right. Oh, God. I do that anyway. That's the secret, Kevin. That's what we all do. If you say it really confidently, nobody will question it. They'll be like, yeah, that sounds right. Harvard?

Harvard? Well, yes, I was the valedictorian, you see. Valedictorian. Dude, yeah, fucking power hour, if you've never done it. It hurts the soul real quick. You're like, ah, it's seven beers in an hour. It's not bad. And then seven beers. And I'm an alcoholic, but... I think it's just the amount of liquid. Dude, that hurts your tongue-tongue. A shot every ten minutes.

every 10 minutes isn't bad it's one of these every 10 minutes which we can do it's not great especially if you're going zero to 60 like you're dead sober and then six shots in an hour that's that's rough dude that happened streaming friday whenever me and sav stream she actually like we were just having a chill night and then so yeah then sub started coming in

Lots of subs started coming in and she can't do I was like, oh, we'll do have pours for you And she's like one two. I was like, oh man, there's a lot I'm not used to her being like shit, right? She's like babe, I ordered cheese or cheesecake I was like you got his cheese. It's on its way

I can feel my toes right now, babe. I was like, you can always feel them. She's like, but I can like really. Oh, so she was really shit. Yeah. Which I've not seen. I was like, oh, this is a news. That's like, I remember my first beer shit, right? Yeah. I was dying. I was still your boy. I found a tequila. I actually like to drink. Oh, what kind? Casamigos. Oh yeah. That was really good shit, bro. Yeah. That was delicious. Very good. Actually. You know who makes that?

We could do a shot right now. Wanna do a shot of Casamigos? Yeah! Manabreak! Manabreak! Do you know who makes that while Batty's doing this? Guess! Who? Uh, Casamigos? Yeah. Ooh, uh, is it a celebrity? Yes! Yeah, uh, is it George Clooney? It is! Okay. I thought I remember that. It's George Clooney. It'll make you age like him. White. Yeah. It'll make you age like him even though, uh, you know, he probably has nothing to do with this tequila. It's signed! Look, he signed it on the left side. Bottom left. Ha ha ha ha!

I brought this is my reaction on stream. They were like George Clooney's I was like George Clooney didn't make George clicks this cuz I know George straights got a tequila now homeboy What George made like a billion off of that only come on? I think so Why does it you have a tequila you'll sell tens of box we should go Yeah

And it comes with a pair of flip-flops. No, we're like the Wonder Twins. We're both half Mexican. And so like when we combine, we make a tequila brand. And chonk-lips. Yeah, there you go. Is that what it's going to be called? El Chonkla? El Chonkla? They're like, do these? It's just a pair of sandals on the front. So it tastes like a shoe. Cool. But like a good shoe.

i do be like god batty your house is gonna suck in the summer if you gotta do a shoeie i mean out of a flip-flop that's the way to do it yeah i don't know what's going on with my ac but it's cranking at full it's been on non-stop just do heavies oh so this is your oh yeah this is your first summer in this house with probably single unit

Single AC unit. Yeah. Well, it's a big one. I know it's like this room. The rest of the house is usually fine. I don't know what the fuck about this van it is. It's open. Really? But it's just not pumping. That room gets more air. Every other room is fine. That's actually kind of nice, though. Your stream room gets more air. Believe me, I need that. Dude, both houses that I've lived in here in Texas, my stream room is the least air conditioned room in the house. Oh.

And I never figure it out until after I move all my shit in. I mean that's usually how it works because you don't sit there and be like, "That one." Yeah, I still... It's this room. I have no idea what about this room is so bad, but... I chose my stream room. Oh, it's also external door there. Yeah, all this working against you. All this working against you. Like my stream room, I was like, "Let's get a studio guys!" I fucking... I know. And then I would light it and we could decorate it. Wait, Donut gone. I can sign off on that. We could all three agree here. I like it. Yep.

Kay, we take away his voting privileges. I was too excited. He got removed from the voting booth already! It's like, knock over shot Klaus. To be fair, I preserved almost all of that. That was a really good save, thank you. Dude, fucking cotton hats suck. They're so hot. Maybe take it off. They don't breathe. How do you wear these, Batty?

I'm fat already, so I'm gonna sweat no matter what. God, it's like a fucking oven. Just get used to sweating. The ball's right there, don't worry. But I gotta show off Goku. Dude, come on, I preserved a good bit of that. You really did, honestly. Okay, good. We're all sober, by the way. I mean, I'm 100% sober. And we only had, I had one drink. Perfect. I had, dude, this is the best I will give Casamigos. Damn. Not bad, not bad. Cheers, beautiful bitches! Cheers, motherfuckers! Okay, right.

I love that. That's for Memorial Day. That's for the homies. I don't actually like the key one. Brandon even poured one out for the homies. Yeah. Yes, I did. I was feeling the spirit of the season. The spirit of the season. Brandon just, not on the ground, he's just like, there you go, guys. Happy Memorial Day. You don't even get a full one, you get a half one because Brandon saved the rest. Oh, man.

He's like, shit, okay, that's... You're at Arlington pouring one out for the homies. I'm just like... You're catching it. You're under the bop-bop. I'm like, bro, that's not how this works.

We are so fucking awful. 100%. We are the worst. I will say last, not the last episode, the episode with Admin and you was the least comfortable I've ever seen you in a punch. Oh my god. It got pretty bad. Yeah, it did. I don't have a fallback. I enjoyed it a lot. When I get canceled because of you guys, I'm fucked. I'm going to have to work as a barista at Black Rifle, man. Or in the factory.

We'll talk. We'll call you. Do you have a bathroom that needs cleaning? I know Zach's not good at cleaning bathrooms. Fuck you. I know he's not. No, not really. Have you seen the shot? You've seen the shot bathroom. I mean, I saw when you first moved in. It was great. The worst part is the sink because it's just like months and months of just greasy ass hands. So it's just like it's black. The sink is in blackface at the moment. So it's...

It's not looking good. It's not looking good. - That's the shitty part, 'cause your main is Twitch, and so when you get canceled from here, they'll be like, "Oh, why?" - 100% on Twitch you get canceled. And I would love the most part is only you get canceled.

It'd just be me. They would ignore it. Like that episode, they ignore the minorities. They're like, you piece of shit, man. Even though you didn't say anything, you're just there. If you decide to cancel me, my name is Donut Operator. Super simple. B-A-D-D-I-E. Donut Operator. My name? Yeah, we're just helping people get canceled right now.

I hate it. You want to get cancelled, huh? I've been training for this one for 15 years. We gotta go, guys! That's it for today! Baddie streams out! So about Modern Warfare 2 lobbies. We'll go right into that. Dude, I didn't realize they're making Modern Warfare 2 again. Yeah.

Are they remastering it? I think they're going to do the same thing they did with the new Modern Warfare where it's kind of like a reimagining. Yeah, it's its own timeline. Yeah, yeah. They're going to have the same character, some of the same characters, so that way, you know, like Ghost or Captain Price or whoever the fuck, Soap, Roach, whoever it's going to be, they're not dead. Colonel Shepard with the whole revolver bit. Oh, yeah. That was Modern Warfare 2? Yeah, that was the ending. That's when they killed Ghost. I don't think that was the ending. I think that was like...

No, you're right. It was the way through something like that. Cause that was when you got to pull the knife out of your chest. I actually owned that knife. I bought that knife. I was like 18 years old and I used to practice throwing that motherfucker because of modern warfare. I don't know where, I think I still have it actually. That was the lamest thing I've ever heard. I just picture you like, just in case I'm ever in this moment. Okay. I was on the ground crying, but I used to be like,

Missed. Get it? I just like that night. It was a cool fucking night. I also just remembered. I think it was it was it advanced warfare or infinite warfare or something like you know I think was advanced warfare in the campaign they had uh what's uh the the main villain was the guy who diddles kids. What's his fucking name? Oh he got canceled. The Netflix House of Cards guys. Jared from Subway? I just no not that one. Oh I thought you meant Jared. No.

Not this time. It's entirely fiction. It didn't happen. Never happened. Not this time.

Holy shit. No, what's his fucking name? American Beauty. I just had his name. Oh, Kevin Spacey. Kevin Spacey. I don't remember. It was one of those. I stopped giving a fuck around the Advanced Warfare, Infinite Warfare timeline because they started adding the mech legs to your main character and you're like ninja jumping off the walls. As soon as they basically added jetpacks, I was done with Call of Duty. Wall running is the... It was when it became like a... Unreal Tournament. Yeah. Literally Unreal Tournament. I will say, but then Titanfall came out

And Titanfall was one of the best shooters I have ever seen. They did it right, though. They were like, how do we do this? And they're not changing a genre. They're not being like... They made something new. They're not pivoting. Yeah, which is what unfortunately... Unfortunately, Titanfall 1 had an awful launch because there was no story to the game. And they said there was a story to the game.

But Titanfall 2 was probably one of the best games I have ever played. Modern Warfare, I hope they keep all... If they keep the mechanics, like, I don't hate slide games.

Slide canceling like I'm fine with that. It's like you get a jump There's nothing really crazy and they added how to get around the map faster. I was like cool There's fucking rip balloons that you just Straight out of like a pexin it yeah, and I'm like yo, this is actually really smart. This is fucking good They're doing warzone right, but I don't want that call of duty Yeah, but they different warzone gives me a fucking headache man That is so a DD and I get it's a skill like I get I love

Twitch shooters, man. They're fast twitch shooters versus like your old school fucking slowed. I actively have a bad time. Yeah, I won't do them. I can't. Well, they had dude that they just added the new perk, which is the most retarded fucking perk I've ever seen, which is serpentine. As long as you're sprinting

You take 20% less damage. Excuse me. So now when you're shooting, so you can't one, if I remember right, you can't single tap a person with a sniper rifle. They fixed the sniper rifle, then they added this. So now if you're running, you can take more bullets. Well, I'm like, so you're like literally Naruto running away from bullets. Like, okay,

But getting shot yeah, well Naruto running it just reduces the velocity that the bullets hit you so it does less damage And you can like do my eat a lot around I'm down dude. That's a Mythbusters episode like have somebody in a car Speeding away and hit the target and see if it does less damage to the body armor

It won't it won't it won't it won't but that sounded really like a really good idea. It sounded cool It made me think of the old-school myth investors where they were driving one way they fired the cannon the opposite and it just fell straight down I never saw that. Wait, really dude fucking probably under loaded the fuck out of that cannon. They matched the velocities. Well, yeah That fucking vehicle is not moving at the speed of sound like yes gonna says but it's just the cannonballs like

That's a cool premise though. It's a really good premise. Like that is a really good video idea if any of you take that from me I claim that from the end to the end of time if I decide to come back and you're never gonna do that. No, never. Never. Somebody else do it so we can watch it. Get a fucking F-15 and fire a gun in reverse. There we go. Yeah, you just fly it. You'll go faster. Which will be... Well, what happened to the bullet? Now I'm like actually thinking it's like bullet just stay...

Now I'm confused. I don't like this. We've raised the limit of Eli's GED. It's at its limit. I need to level up. I'm confused now. It's like the plane. It's like, will a plane take off if it's on a treadmill? Have you never seen that? No. Apparently it will. Will it? Yes. Was it just like the amount that you're allowing the engine to... Because if it's on a treadmill, it's doing... If you're going the needed speed, the plane's never...

I don't fucking... We gotta... God damn, why are we doing this? This is too smart. We're too dumb for this shit. On the plane, like, you have the barrel of the gun. Let's say you've got, like, on a big aircraft gun, you've got, like, fucking four feet of barrel. Yeah. You're no longer from the stationary position of the chamber, and it's moving rearward on the plane. Relative. Yeah, so even relative to the plane, it's moving very fast. Yeah. So it wouldn't be...

Drop off because when you jump out of a plane you you're not oh fuck You hit the slide what it's called a slide So when you jump really want to know the answer to this now because when you're jumping out of a plane It's called a slide because you jump out and then you gain speed, but your body does this you literally your body will automatically it feels like a fucking slide like a giant slide and you whoop and you three retards do skunk works physics and

And come to the conclusion that purple is purple. My head hurts so much right now. I got a B plus in physics. I didn't take physics. You guys made it to physics? You guys went to school? I did, technically. Did you? Yeah. I did not. I'm not as dumb as everybody thinks I am, actually. That's what dumb people say. It's true. It's actually true, though. Not as dumb as people think I am.

Three guys who figured out how to have the dream job of social media for a living not as dumb as you think There's something to it Just a small amount damn baddie go back to the dagger that you owned well I don't I think I still have it so like a k-bar looking thing or like yeah, but it's like a long curved one. Oh shit really yeah, they're big and

And I'm ashamed, kind of, not as curved, but the same bowed out bottom of the blade. I am ashamed to admit this. I had at one point, because when I first joined the military, I was given Alice gear.

Oh god. Because I was an 11 Charlie in a unit full of 11 Bravos. So I was the one Chuck. Wait, you were a fucking mortar man? For about two months. And they realized he couldn't do math as we just saw. Yeah, then they made me a sniper where the math doesn't make sense. You're right. I don't know how to do math.

There were 11 Charlie the sniper I was already yeah, so I was obviously 11 Charlie and brought was the same fucking thing used to be a Chuck you just do like more extra weeks two extra weeks at the end of basic yeah same shit so I got out and Because it was a deployment year our guys were gone And I was like one of the only able-bodied motherfuckers left of the unit because anybody that was still there was broke dick and couldn't deploy so they had all this money and they're like I

Send baddie to schools. So I was like fucking mountain warfare, aerosol, advanced climber. They came back and they're like, we have no need for a mortar man to be able to do this stuff. You're a sniper now. Or they said scout. And I was with the scouts for like a week before they're like, nah, you're a sniper. Now I went shot in the sniper comp and I did before I was a sniper. I just picture it's like Captain America, but like because you were the only one left. Everything is like,

He's like getting out and then he's like, okay, now cap, you can, you're part of a mortar team. Yeah, we're going to sit in the pit. Now we're going to transition you out of the military. You're going to stream for and drink alcohol. It's like going to summer camp and there's no other kids. And they're just like, we have all these activities. You will just pick what the fuck you want to do. That was really what it was, man. It was me and a couple other guys. And the other guys that went through this first mountain warfare school with me all fucking failed. So I was like,

Guess I get all the fun stuff. Yeah, if you're the only dude fucking pass and they're just gonna be like keep sending them to shit I mean a dude 100% pass rate cheese. That's all I do. That's the military for you doesn't matter. I just kept sending me military That's government schools. That's it's almost like that They wasted all that money on me weird

You kind of remember how to do a lot of stuff I do I can tie some motherfucking knots like watch out I can I know a couple oh, I do all sorts of crazy like ice climbing mountain climbing rappelling shit Yeah, that's that's the I remember all that like it's just burned into my head from tying knots It is great actually when I guess I didn't want to die When I grabbed a 240 Bravo when we're shooting a Utah like it became strange. I'm like, oh man I don't even know This weapon platform clear

I was like, holy shit. Okay. I guess I still remember this Weapon system decently it's wild It's wild how muscle memory kicks in like with that shit The only thing that always terrifies me with like 240s or open bolts is the spring system cuz so like don't open the back plate through you and you're like

That's always my fear. You gotta open it like, you slide the buttstock off over here, you're like, You know how much energy it takes to stop a .308? Well, you're about to. More than your chest can take. The .50 cal, they're like, hey, like, be careful. Bolt forward, always bolt forward, that's all I always remember. I'm like, bolt forward, okay, we got this. This is too fucking easy. Bolt forward and open it on the side. Open it over here, under the arm. See, I realized the other day I was shooting with NAGR, and I was running a saw.

And like I've run saws before but like it's always like they either run like shit or they run great. There's no in between. Kinda yeah, no. I was uh having one of those that ran like shit and so I'm like clearing shit whatever and then there's one that just- You're constantly playing this fucking game. I'm playing with my MG42 right now so like I was doing that with the saw and then like I opened it up because it was like it was just having a- CHAPANG! Open it up and it sailed around in the foot in front of me. Or like a foot in front of my foot.

Open it up. I'm like, everybody saw that. Like, my finger was nowhere near the trigger. We're good. Oh, the bull just fucking sent forward. Oh, yeah. And like a bunch of dudes, like ex-military dudes are like, oh, well, he didn't know the thing. He didn't know the trick. That's why we do that number. Like, they literally...

They literally tell you like to dab away from the guy I do yeah, I don't remember I remember that I'm like in little guns things Mike oh, oh don't miss it all

The military's terrifying. We're all idiots. Don't look at me. I didn't fucking join shit. It doesn't mean you're not a fucking idiot. You're a smart person in the military. We had a dude. I'm sorry if you watch our podcast. I'm not going to say your name, but you know who the fuck you are. He had a 13 on his ASVAB. He had to get wavered in. 13.

13. I didn't know that was possible. Did he misspell his name? Bro, his options were infantry or cook. And he got wavered into the infantry. Guess what? He failed and ended up being a cook. But either way, for the longest time, this motherfucker... You trust him with your food. No! I don't trust him breathing around me. The government trusts him with your food. But think of the things. Hold on, Batty. How do you get 13? I don't know! Bro, I got 89. What were the 13?

I know I had a 120 something. You can't get over 100. Yeah, you can. I mean, maybe your individual is not your overall. The score is a 115 to get certain stuff. Eli's over here. You can't get it, but I can. No, it's really not. No, the ASVABs, you have different score. I think it's like one. Well, you have your GT score. You have your technicals. GT scores. Those can be different. Yeah, those were the ones. I don't even know my overall then. I actually had a high one in there. Because you're autistic.

You're GED. You can't do anything. I was like, dope. They're like, if you go to college, maximum ASVAB score, 99, according to Google. What's the GT score? Let me see. So those are the individual scores that all add up to give you your, I still think those are all below 100, and Eli's just a fucking idiot. I swear there's like getting fucking. Oh, God. For enlistment into the army, you must get a minimum ASVAB score of 31. 13. 13. You know who you are. Fuck.

Dude, that is a fucking... Yeah, okay, so you can't get over, yeah, over 100 on with GT score. There you go. I was like, I was like, I think so. Yeah, that's my one regret is like, I always wanted to just take the ASVAB. I've never taken it. I've seen what like this... Why not? I don't know if that's just something you can just show up and take. You can't. You'd be like, I want to join the military. I'd be like, let's go take the ASVAB and see what you can do. And then you just never call the recruiter back. And they will call you back multiple times. Bro, I get one already that calls me. He's like...

And his name is Herrera, too. He's like, hi, it's Colonel Herrera or whatever the fuck. And I'm just like, who did you piss off? Like, where are you doing this? I got out of the military and I got recruited. Bro, they came to my house and put notes on my door. See, after I got out, I was out for a while. And then they were like, hey, would you like to join that? I got a phone call. I'm like, would you ever think about joining the U.S. military? Sergeant Tim Hicks, Team Central Recruiting. I still get them. Still get them.

Bro, leave me you're the worst in my ex Out I'm fucking done with them. I if you're great Rachel. Thanks. She watches the podcast Rachel why best story Rachel's great. What I know Rachel's great Yeah, I know and the other day I was talking to her cuz I was paying off my last alimony. Yeah, and fuck you Rachel bitch

We love you. Now that we're actually legally separate. Fuck you. And she goes, every time you poke fun at your ex-wife, I hear it. I'm like, oh shit. She's like, you guys are funny. I hate it.

Cheers, Rachel. Rachel, this one's for you. Fuck you for taking Batty on those stupid Disneyland things. I love Disney! He hated it. I love it! He hates it. I'm on the Disney fan club, too. I'm an adult Disney man, 100%. I just get pissed drunk at Disney. It's the greatest thing in the world, dude. Disney World?

Dude, fucking- Fuck Disneyland. Fuck Disneyland, bro. Riding the monorail shithouse is one of the funnest things a man can do. You see where we're gonna end up? Because I'm not paying attention. I have no idea. I'm just gonna get out and they've got a bar here somewhere.

Can we talk Disney World into holding on some kind of- No. No. Zero chance. Zero chance. Oh, so, uh, let me see your merch. You got- Come. Come. Come subscribe. Uh, no. Uh, we- Who are you? This has Jack Sparrow on it. Is that cool? No, now you're suing us? Okay. That's dope. Uh- You rolled a one for speech. Like, tried to get sponsored, got a lawsuit. Yeah!

That's going to be Nintendo real quick. You were all at one. Shit. Disney's after this. Bro, I love, I cannot wait to go to Disney. I'm going this year. I've already decided. I'm going to get pissed drunk and get lost in Disney. Let me know. I'll go with you.

I'll go too. No. You already shit on it. Yeah, and I'm gonna continue to shit on it. Why would you shit on the happiest place on earth? Is it the happiest place? I think a brothel is way more happy. You haven't been to Disney as an adult, sir. Perhaps the party's involved in this. Bro.

So I had an old friend who used to be one of the cast members behind the scenes. Yeah. Honestly, she was. And the stories. All of them are. You know exactly. She hopefully doesn't listen to this. I don't think she does. And the stories they would tell about being like in costume and just fucking in the back. Like, dude, everyone at Disney's a whore is all I found out. It's their college program.

Yeah, that's the thing. Dude, Disney Tinder is something else. Wait, wait, Disney Tinder? I've never Disney Tinder. Oh, so now we have your interest. I'm so confused. I don't even know about Disney Tinder. It's literally just Tinder at Disney. It's so big that everybody there is. You have a bunch of transient people who are trying to get fucked, and then you have a bunch of cast members who are trying to get fucked. Thank you. I'm going to take that away from you. I didn't even think about that. Yeah. Yeah.

Are you going for the good goods like the princesses or you could you can why not the world is your oyster Disney World Hey Ariel, I thought you couldn't talk bitch I'm about to answer the question

Yo Elsa, what up? Oh, just ruining child- child- Let it go! Let it go! The cum never bothered her anyway. And now we're getting sued by Disney. That was just enough. That was the one. That was it right there. I'm gonna need another one of these today. We're gonna get an invite. We were that close. And, uh, 41 minutes into recording, I think you need to do an ad. Brandon! Hi!

Why are you making Brandon do it? Because he's in your seat. Oh. That's fair. The Smooth Operator out of regs, pomade. Look at the camera. Don't look at me. I'm sorry. You're not selling me. This episode of Unsubscribe is brought to you by out of regs. We've got the Smooth Operator out of regs, pomade. Out of regs is unironically what I use on a daily basis. I'll use a little bit more right now because we've been out in the sun. You know what? I need a little, little, little top it off.

Dude, it makes it so smooth, and now you smell lemony fresh, citrusy fresh. I love that one. I use that, like, the actual body wash every morning. It's so good. I feel like a smooth operator. You look like a smooth operator. I'm using the Green Beret Foundation, so I'm trying to become...

Special. I'm a special force. Go to OuterRags.com as OuterRags with the Z dot com and get 20% off by using unsub or come 20. Use code unsub. God, this one does. It actually really does. What is your code? Is it code Eli? You don't have a code? Why don't you have a code?

Because I'm a part owner. That's fair. Never mind. Use code Brandon for 20. Oh, yeah, right. No, I don't. Okay, in that case, use code Batty because I have one. Okay. We'll make a fucking code today for Brandon. Use Brandon 20. He gets nothing from it. Code Brandon 2. Yeah, code Brandon 2. Brandon 2 for 20%. I'm making jokes at your expense, but you're getting paid for them. Yeah, it works out either way for me. Hop, hop, hop.

Smells so good. It smells like doesn't smell like sweat anymore cuz this house is burning up dude. This is room broken It's just a hot baddie. You know, it's cuz the low ceiling and the carpet Look go to my room like the ceilings are different heights that rooms got carpet, too Yeah, but it's got a higher ceiling and there's a fan in there less cubic circumference. It should be way easier. It should be I

Cubic circumference. Volume, whatever. Cubic circumference. I have a GED, bro. Cubic circumference. Hey, Flo, can you do the Sesame Street cubic? But use this face. Just slowly push it on my face.

Have you ever seen, oh, that reminds me, actually, talking about those outlines in Disney. Have you seen those where they do, like, the behind the scenes, like, you're watching the Disney Channel, and they do it with no. Oh, yes. And you see what they actually drew, like, if they were actually fucking showing what they were drawing. It's like a dick and shit. No, it's just shitty. Like, it's shitty as hell. You're watching Disney Channel. This is squiggles.

That's weird, that's not the mouse with ears, what? I haven't seen that. It's one of my favorite bits. That's old, that's older. They animate what it would have been. Oh, actually, like, with it. Yeah, it's fucked up. Fantastic. Oh my god. One more happy? It's Memorial Day, we can do another happy. Or we can't. Okay, I'm sorry. Two veterans are about to die on the drive home. Guess what, I live here. One veteran's about to die. You are my only hope!

Oh, the new Star Wars series. I haven't seen it. Don't. Don't. I haven't seen it. I watched the first episode and a half. Was it good? I was terrified watching the trailer that they were going to fuck it up really bad. Like, I was not. I have not heard a single bad thing. I've heard some bad things. There are parts that are annoying to me, but I believe it's intentional. Like, I'm supposed to be annoyed by them. Yeah. Other than that, I feel hopeful. What else came out? A New Hope?

What else came out obi-wan came out there was another big thing that just dropped Stranger things Which by the way I'm a villain in it is literally Vecna the thing on my throat I'm so fucking excited wait. I haven't seen that either the trailer for sure anything season 4 is Unreal I am such a fucking nerd. I'm I have a boner. I mean I'm wearing sweatpants the fuck is that 11 and

Oh my god. How old is 11? She now looks like the chick from Yellowstone. What's her name? I don't know. 11. Millie something. Millie Stranger. No, it is Millie. 11. Dude, like Savannah was like, oh yeah, here. Her name is Jane Hopper. No, that's Elle. That's her actual name. What's the actress's name? God damn it.

This is that awkward break. Yeah, we're all on our fucking phones. We're like, Millie Bobby Brown. All you have to do is Google Stranger Things cast. Millie Bobby Brown. He's got a GED. That's the name of this episode. G-E-D. Eli's GED. That's the name of this episode. Eli, how do you spell G-E-D? B-A-D-D. B-A-D-D-I-E-C-A-N-E-L-S. Daddy's canceling.

Like yeah, that was yeah, I cancelled ed not No, what like compared to what? Because we grew up where she was a fucking child and then what are you getting at right now? No Savannah was Savannah was watching a video. She's like look first before you know She's 19 or 20. Okay, never are good, but it's always that like too young. Oh

Yeah, I would like in your perspective deep conversations. You just can't tell anymore That's like the biggest thing for me I was like who is that and says like you don't know who that is it was like no fucking idea Who was the old that's 11? Was it Drake that was hitting on her or some shit was another thing that sounds about right? I don't think I don't think he waited to 19 No, he didn't he was it was like she was like 17 or something and Drake was hit all over or some shit Really? Yeah, it was like a whole thing. Why just make sure her age is right. I

18. You're in Hollywood. You're supposed to hit on the non-famous 16-year-old.

Come on, Drake. Get your shit together. All I'm going to say is Stranger Things Season 4 is all about Vecna. Have you seen it yet? No, I haven't because I haven't had a fucking minute. I've been nonstop the last two weeks. I literally have the hand and eye of Vecna in a case up there. I have it tattooed on my throat. Vecna is my favorite villain from goddamn D&D. It's not the full season. This man gets laid. What's your excuse? What do you mean it's not the full season? They're releasing two more episodes towards October or something.

Shit you not. They actually broke up. Netflix actually broke up a segment for once. I'm gonna shit and piss everywhere. That's how bad it copes with stress. I shit and piss everywhere. Weren't we doing a shot? Here we go. Oh yeah. You can tell because you're shot. Yay Memorial Day. I shouldn't say yay. Got Brandon. Tequila in the nose. Worse than fucking Winkle on the nose. Ugh.

But no, like just, it's always weird. Now we're at that age where people grow up and you're like, oh, they're fucking children. And then you see them and you're like, what? I haven't watched it yet. Don't even start. I do not want to see it. Okay. I've heard amazing, amazing things. We were just talking. We can go this. All of us go this week. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm down. I really want to see it in theaters. I'm hearing unbelievably good things. And on top of that, everyone's being like, Tom Cruise is aging. Yeah. Or.

We grew up watching her old now. We're the old guys now. I know. Shut the fuck up, Brandon. You child. How old are you? 26? Fuck you.

I look at it as like not how long you've been playing the game, but the percentage of progress you've made. So I'm pretty far along. I can't wait. We are so overdue for a death in the group, man. I know, man. We need to start, like, unironically start a death pool. Can we start a death pool? I think we can. A death pool? A death pool, yeah. Honestly, straight up, yeah. Who has the GED now? Oh, fuck.

Man, I have so many options with this. We have the same answer. Are we talking about depression? Are we talking about overall physical health? Depression absolutely counts. Suicide counts? Yes. We need some stipulations here. No. Well, still yes. Yes.

We then we can't say we didn't see it coming which makes it a little shitty We've never seen it coming it's on the deadpool I'm sorry. I couldn't have seen this coming. Here's your 500 bucks fucker. It's like did anyone know his baddie lost 125 pounds like

Yo, I'm buying a chocolate bar now. We need to get a 10% or a 10x 10x reward, I guess, if you get to guess how it happened. It's Batty in the dining room with the candlestick. Batty kitchen floor

Barrett 50 Cal heart heart attack. No, it's gonna be it's good brain aneurysm. Okay, that's actually pretty likely something's wrong to this time It's personal. I think it's gonna be like us coming to the house I'm saying me Yours I would be like I would picture much anymore because I've a few times I've ridden around San Antonio and bro it is I've been highways are fucking scary. I mean the service roads do a clue I

Oh, fuck that shit. Like driving out there, like it's at scenic loop and there's, there's a, there's, that's one of the bike ones. And then there's another one that's like up by like, uh, East or East of Bernie. That's like a really nice, like it's a biker trail. Like it's stuff that people like go out and do that. That's nice.

I would do I feel like I've already rolled the old dice on the bike right? You just bought another one. No, I didn't buy it. No, you didn't buy it I literally I got the cash out. I was with donut We went to a new bank for me to open a new bank cuz I had to get the time What time of day was this early? It was like fucking 1:00 p.m. Do you hadn't been drinking yet? No, we're sober. That's why I got the guys like yet We're good called him an hour later. Sorry sold it bro. Mike. I'm like sitting here like I have but you told me to I

What do I do with all this cat food? So I suck my own bike. I bought Pokemon cards. It goes to Dallas. I bought a gun. Thanks, Mason. Wait, what? Okay, so hold on. Batty, if you die here, I figure it'll be like an aneurysm and we're just going to come here. Oh, it's going to be a derp? No, aneurysm. But we're going to leave mashed. We're going to leave mashed. You don't say it. Yeah, you know. When can I say it?

This is America we imply. Oh, you're right. Sorry. It's a joke flood bleep that out and put I want I want to hear like a really knowing a computerized Siri like baddie doku. Yeah. Yeah, just say Sudoku I see the fucking like like the pictures from the crime scene. I'm like he did the fuck I

The four and the seven, that's over ten. What are you doing, Bat? Bro. He pussed out on the last bit. Like, I just can't. But if you have a brain aneurysm and we're coming from MASH, we're like, Batty's still asleep as fuck. We get here. Tell me you didn't cross your mind.

And we find your corpse. I need a verbal confirmation that we can put you in the seat for your last episode. Oh, like the rapper. The rapper in Atlanta? Uncle and Bernie. Did you see that? Wait, no, what? It was literally like, I think it was a rapper out of Atlanta where like for his wake, they fucking basically taxidermied him and put him up in a fucking chair, like with some sunglasses on and they were like pouring drinks in his cup. They weekend at Bernie's ass. At a club.

Well, we're not, we're just taking Batty's corpse. We're not tasking him. From here to there, you know? Slide it into that chair and tape it up. Hopefully rigor mortis doesn't suck. It would be way better if it does. Oh, just half of your face is like frozen like it's still on the tile. He's just like, and this arm's up. I'm reaching for the phone to call for help. Oh, that's horrible. Like your body is in rigor mortis doing this. Don't, no. I'm telling you, it's not going to be a pistol. It's going to be the .50 caliber. I'm going to be towing that trigger. Boom.

See? Okay, so it's just gonna be the upper portion of the body. That's what I'm saying! I'm gonna just put the whole thing in the bear. Can we use... Oh, we're gonna borrow one of the dolls from Demolition Ranch and just put the head back on top. Just...

I just put a baby doll in the back, but use his mullet. This is a joke. I need to make this very, very clear. I am happy. This is a joke, but we have verbal confirmation. Do whatever you got to do. Oh, thank God. I'm already. That thumbnail is going to be so close. It's just going to be a zoomed in. What's the thumbnail? Is it Captain America or the Green Mile electric chair? No, it's just a zoomed in. It's this. But you with your eyes like I'm.

Welcome to Memorial Day

22 push-ups every one you like what do you do? Give me the stapler, buddy. I keep going back to normal Okay, I'm gonna hold it here brain and hit it Who's got the stapler puller I'll just push it out with your hand

There's the eye out like do we have an eye patch sunglasses? Yo, we're gonna death well I'm putting a chalkboard right there, and I'm gonna have every one of us on that bitch welcome to the video game podcast Yeah, 100% 100% okay, and we all have to make an agreement that like we're not gonna pretend It's fucked up. No yeah, if we all have to pay out like oh, no that was a mistake That was a doze joke. No it was not do we pay up at the funeral I

Yeah. I mean, you gotta do it at the funeral, right? Assuming we're coming to each other's funeral, but yeah. I mean, most of us will probably, but odds are it's gonna be a group event when somebody goes. That's the second. Honestly, yeah. Damn, I've got a joke to tell you afterward. Oh, man. About somebody we know. Oh, fuck! Is it hot in here? That's the spicy humor today.

Oh fuck I just finished the new Dritz book I was telling him I finished the book Are you irritated about it yet? Which part? Yes I just said Dritz book I know That's it He doesn't give a fuck about Dritz I know that's why I was like I finished the book Tell me I'm ready I love D&D I'll make you hold the swords You wanna hold the Dritz swords while you talk about it? The other fucking Drow Real quick I feel like we should just say this real quick Video games

We haven't talked about it.

That's true. There's no we know come of the podcast. No, the very beginning. We talked about come shirts. We're good. That's true. Yeah. It was like a meta com reference video games. Come subscribe. Unsubscribe con. Dude, everyone is so stoked for what was it? What was the TLDR on that? I like I didn't get to watch that episode. It is. Everyone wants to do fucking unsub con.

I guess I'm just not important enough to show whatever's on that phone. It is dates for potential dates for an UDSUB con because the event we have event place. We need to like actually sit down. We need to take a day and actually because he's I know I need planning. I know. I know. I need Sam. I'm going to have to bring in. Yeah. Yeah. OK, guys. The guy who runs San Antonio Techport Arena. This is the arena where we would do it. We have actual dates.

So we can make it happen. It would just be like everyone coordinating and then fucking having two days where we just get drunk. Oh, that's my job. Sorry. I mean, we're going to, you're dedicating two days getting drunk. And it's just different. Why? It's really fucked up. I don't drink ever unless I'm with you assholes or I'm in out of town. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Baddie, what'd you do this weekend? We got shit wrecked. I went out of town and dedicated two days to getting drunk. I had this gauntlet made of alcohol. It was like Thanos. What'd you do last weekend, Baddie? Where'd you go? I forget. I think it was out of town. Yeah, what'd you do on that weekend? I got really drunk. But it's only with us. How many of the guys were there with you, Baddie? Either time. I'll take...

It's called gaslighting, Batty, and we don't appreciate it, you abusive dick. Did you just accuse me of gaslighting, Eli? You accused me. I mean, Brandon was here. Was he gaslighting? Oh, Brandon was here. I saw everything. Eli gaslights Batty into gaslighting Eli.

The circle of life. We're just the most toxic circle possible. I cannot wait to start Deadpool. We're actually starting a circle. Is that the name of this episode? Deadpool? The gang starts a Deadpool. A Deadpool. Is it a Deadpool or a Deathpool? Deadpool. Deadpool is what they call it in Deadpool. We're a nerdy podcast. We can't call it the Deadpool though. Why? We gotta call it the Deadpool. It's a little different. Because people hear Deadpool now, they think Deadpool. Yeah. If we start a Deadpool, that means we started a movie. We can start a Battypool.

How often do you go to Denny's unrelated one time in this year I've been once this year all right I go 50 Cal

That new shorty shot gonna have though that would do herb is it the Serbu super shorty or no? I just kind of like that Mossberg combat cruiser same exact like the similar like yeah, just Mossberg made one. Oh The fucking drought the good draw the good draw drist no I

The new books, there's a brand new... Eli, I am 18 books behind. You're 30 books behind, I think. Probably. I've read the first six. There's 40. I've read the first six. I think there's 42. Yeah, book books. There's like 42. Like actual with words. No pictures. No. Fuck that. There's 42, I think, now, Batty. I've literally read the first six. Oh, yeah. You're way behind. I've done the first two trilogies because there are two standalone. Or is the first one four? Is it four and three? Three. We're talking like 100 pages a piece or like what the fuck? Five.

Yeah, over. Like book books. Your boy likes to read. I do read. I read at night, so it's always my go-to. When he doesn't know the big words, he skips them. I'm like, what big word mean? Bakuzi. Everyone wants a Bakuzi shirt. Holy shit. You know Bakuzi, right? You were here on Bakuzi, I thought. Was it? When the next one we talk about Bakuzi?

The Bacuzzi? We were joking about Eli being dumb. Yo girl, what's that Bacuzzi do? We were trying to spell out words with multiple syllables and just try to spell out because. But it smelled Bacuzzi. Bacuzzi. And it's just, we're going to have Bacuzzi. That's the running joke in the shop right now is that you can take any noun. And add an ussy to it. That Bacuzzi, yeah. I'm going to fuck that AK ussy. That AKuszi. AKuszi. Everyone wants that Bacuzzi. Oh God.

Everyone wants a bakuzi shirt. I know. We have to. It's already getting done. It should be live this week. Is it going to be just bakuzi or is it going to be bakuzi with the definition? Definition and then, yeah. It's going to, well, pronunciation. So it's going to say bakuzi and then underneath is bakuzi. And then it's going to have used in a sentence. Yo, Ayo girl, what's that bakuzi do? Ayo girl, what's that bakuzi?

Reminds me of the skit you showed us last time. Can you use it in a sentence? Oh my. Can you give me the country of origin? No. From the Greek and the Latin. Oh my god. That's going to be good. And then we got Long Beach Griffey.

He's gonna be on. When's that happening? Fat electrician's this month, right? Yeah, he's at the beginning of the month. June, fat electrician. And then we have... You shit on the dish, guy. I saw that recently. Bro! His videos are the funniest three minutes of your life. I will die on that hill. That man knows how to fucking make a run-on sentence.

Okay, I didn't notice it now. I didn't notice it until you said it, but yeah. Yeah, no I enjoy stuff like I like so his video breakdowns I'm just like a little butthurt because of the dishka video cuz I just fucking bought my dishka Your discount looks really nice. Oh, thank you. I like I like them touch your disco. You could touch touch my

touch my dish anytime nice well like actually can i come by the shop tomorrow yeah sure i want to touch your discount and maybe touch my ak apparently i need a small egg which we both forgot about brandon thank god i've got people who actually work for me that know what they're doing brandon can i buy a small ak off you what's small like a shorty small like a rio you want a drago

Yeah, but like do we want five four five Brandon? What would you imagine a five four five? Let's just calm down Brandon you the kids for those I couldn't even imagine I just bought a crank kit About you know five days six days ago. You own crank like actually true proper cranks one really just just my second Yeah, like the full SBR Holy shit, I assumed it was more this one. I bought the alone for like three grand and

It's bad. Like, 545 kits are fucking rude. I'll trade you a FN. How many FNs did you get today, Eli? Today? In the last week, three. And I also love that FN's idea of a DMR is an 18-inch AR-15. I know. I mean, to be fair, that's the same as the Army's. So, yeah. I mean, they were, like, issuing 20-inch DMRs. DMRs for the Army, when I was in, were M16s with a fucking ACOG. Yeah, it was 20-inch.

Yeah, they saw the triangle a guard though. They were 18s. They were Yeah, we got FN at least is like we'll do the nickel plate was it nickel bore nickel boron nickel boron Yeah, the barrels and then they do the guys Lee stage twos But it's like the barrels are the only thing people like you fuck about dude those barrels FM barrels That's one thing they're not for maybe it's just me like I think designated marksman rifle. I think like I

Hire like full-power cartridge like three away. We switched to that. So during my deployment it was midway through we went to the M14s that EBR that's why it says wild for you because because we all had as he's saying fucking M4s and then Hey, are you guys are getting EBRs like when I went to my National Sniper? There was one EBRs

Oh really? Because that's what their unit gave them. That's what we got halfway through. Which is wild. Imagine everyone shooting a National Sniper Gun without a bolt gun. Oh, what the fuck? A unit brought that they gave. They had their EBRs. That's what they had. So we got them for... Those poor boys. Yeah, did not compete for long, long range. No. Because like we carried them. It was carry your EBR or carry a fucking...

A .50 cal or an M4 on mission. So we never carried the .50 cal anywhere. The Barrett? No, fuck no. Yeah, the Barrett. The .50 cal. We never would take that because it's just a hefty fucking cunt. And there's no real... 29 pounds of fuck you without ammo. And there's no real comfortable way to carry it. Like the carry handle helps. No, no. You split it in half. Two people carry it. Literally, it's a two. It's a two-person carry. Oh, that's smarter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. How do you have a two-person carry and not like accidentally drop the guts in the dirt?

There's a pin that holds the bullet at this point. I should know that you really should yeah, it's a two-person carry 100% takes the upper one takes a lower and you just pin the bullet in shit gets fucking wild you drop it pull the pin slap the upper on put the pins back in gonna go

But no one carries it out most of the time on fucking you have your EBR or your M4s. We carry those. And then we had the M4s, the ACOGs, fucking pink steel all day. But then you run into other issues. And then we're like, oh, and then they were like, well, try the EBRs out. What did you have for optics on your EBRs? Still ACOGs. Still ACOGs, yeah. I didn't switch anything out. I really like the 308 ACOGs over the 556 ones, though.

Oh, yeah. Are they four? They're four. They're not like a 3.5, right? They're 4X, I think. They're 4X, right? They're not a 3.5? I think they do both. No, they don't. Do they not? That would be one. It should, because it's not a very... Yeah, the difference is... I have a 3.5, I think.

Shorty one that was a regular a cogs of three fives, but the ones that are like bigger the beefy dude. Yeah It's the same thing with like your elk hands like I know they adjust the reticle depending on what caliber is for yes That's why and that's where you get the same thing with elk hands and a cogs They have ones that are meant for like a BDC a bulldog on center for your three away or your five or six or so that's why you usually see like your Forex's versus

You're three fives. I know I've got like eight cogs of both scars because eight cogs and scars go together like peas and carrots. It's either an elk hand or an acog on a scar. That's it. If you got a fucking LVPO, you're wrong. I just don't like the eye relief on the 5.56 one. Really? Oh, God. It's just right here. Yeah, you've got to be right here. Literally on top of it. I'm not a fan. Feel it.

No, fucking no. I was almost putting that fucking your optic here was a three by 18. That's on your cue. That's a five by 25. Five by 25. So that's on my mini. I love my mini is the same on your few. Don't you have a don't you have a one by six? Don't you have a mark six on your mini?

You have a Mark 5 on your mini fix? My mini fix is the exact same as Batty's full. I just have a bigger can. You have the... I have the Trash Panda. The Trash Panda. I have the Thunder Chicken. Yeah, the Thunder Chicken, which is like one inch bigger cock. Yeah, it's a little longer. That's it.

Do I love that gun though the because I was telling him we just finished the 300 the Q sugar weasel Yeah, just finished putting all the lights and everything on that guy finishing out. I was like It's so quiet though when you shoot that thing with subsonic stupid

Fucking puke I still want to make a skit with you where I where we hand each other guns back and forth We have the mini Mosin one we got to do we have well, that's fucking perfect because the optics is already I have everything mini Mosin Yeah, Matt demo Matt's got a mini Mosin. Oh, I had one at mission. I wasn't sure if you bought it I'm like, oh you know I want to just it's more expensive than a regular Mosin. It is dude

I just want Eli to hand me a... I'll have him hold my mose and he'll hand me the... I'll toss it. You told me about that one. I give him the... And I have the mini fix in my hand. I hand him and he's got the full size. I'm like... I toss it to you. Because if I'm about to catch it, you're like...

You toss it to me. I'm like, cool. Thank you. When you share guns with a friend. Yeah, exactly. Fucking stupid. It's gold. It's comedy gold. Back to the drow shit because we keep getting diverted from books. Fucking the good drought community.

The drought community that is. Do you remember the one episode we all just sat around and tried to like deep throat the mic? I've never done that. Do it. No, you have. We have it on camera. You have it on camera. Donut was the only one who didn't. I was the only one that didn't. No, Donut was. Can I Jamie? Can I Jamie Fluck real quick? Please. Fluck, pull that shit up. Pull it up. Please, Fluck. Try to find it. I guarantee you can't. Timestamp it for anyone below. In the comment section, fucking try to find a timestamp. That is going to be shot the fuck down real quick. Donut's the one that tried. No, Donut couldn't because his teeth. I was like, I'm never going to do that. Yeah.

You literally, you were drunk with us. I'm always drunk. I'm not the one that doesn't get drunk and I'm like, do it right now. I've done that. I'm like, guys, watch this magic trick. Eli, do it. That's the secret cap I'm always drinking. These guys have this as their excuse to deep throat black shit. And I'm like, nah. I'm just proud that I can do it. I know you are. I'm very... Damn it, I can do it.

Honestly wasted talent That should have been the name of the podcast wasted talent. Oh my god I'm starting a new podcast. I would right now we go home and just wasted talent seriously damn it We'll just start that out. That was really good. Don't cut it off luck I mean, I'm gonna do it again. Was it we passed them? Yeah, I'm scared. Oh, yes. I'm someone did they had like 10 listeners unsubscribe I thought

What is this, like unsubscribe podcast or like what? Are we unsubscribe or unsubscribe podcast? Unsubscribe. Are we? Yeah. Oh, we just took their...

Cuz we pat? There's no rule about like sharing names. Yeah. Theirs I believe was unsubscribed podcast on Spotify. I was just like racking my brain. I'm like, are you guys spelled retarded or like what? No. We just got one instead of the I. I mean, I think ours is still unsubscribed podcast, but theirs, they had, it was the same name. Yeah. But we're just. We passed them. We've consumed them. We're just raw. They're probably like, god damn it.

We had such a good name! But that one's... Wasted talent. I bet that's taken. Maybe. I mean, if it's not, it will be next week. If only we had a brick in front of us that had access to the internet. To show us if that was possible. That's really good. We could start a second podcast. We probably should. We can barely run one. Let's add two to that plate. That's a bad idea.

Wasted talent is actually oh here you go you do the unsubscribe podcast and wasted talent is like two drinks intermission And then you do another podcast after Wasted talent is us literally wasted literally yes, alcoholism I think I've realized now why even though people you know say Cody doesn't say a lot on the podcast He's here is like the glue that keeps us together because

Without him we've completely lost our shit. Yeah, we didn't talk this is the code was the Cody Cody to bone-up Bob orator Before this one out in my mouth Oh But before I take this there's actually like a good drow community like no no I know do you yeah attempt three to talk about that. I know do you know yes the people above the north and

When was that discussed in fucking D&D sorry brain? I know Brandon's in fucking those gay things. No. This is above above This is above ice windows. It's in the mountains right no passage in the moving ice. It's past the moving ice This is where there's no I know I know I know about this because I read it somewhere because Occasionally what happens are elves is what they're called what happens is occasionally I get drunk and I will open up D&D lore and I'll just

do they live with orcs and oh there's the short humans and they're all like peaceful halflings no they're just short humans i know they're like a peaceful community brandon's like what the like

And do Jaraxel and all the crew. That's what I think. This whole new trilogy, I believe, right? Or something. There's a whole new series within. Obviously, the already massive Dritz series is focusing on Jaraxel within Dritz, right? Like, Jaraxel's like full on. There's whole everything about him, right? This is Jaraxel, Catebrae, and then two other individuals. I won't. In case people whisper to you.

I remember that part. I remember the second part. Dude, they're all fucking chillin'. It is like one of the coolest fucking stories, 'cause they're all like doing their thing. And Dritz is down training with Master Kane. The fucking, the grand Master Kane. I love that part. Dude, I've read some spoilers about this. I now understand, uh, how other people feel when we talk about these. Donut. How donut feels. We talk gun shit? Yeah. It's like, "Oh, is it a 4x32?" Or whatever. They're like, "What's the twist on that barrel?" I thought barrels were straight.

Don't want no curve barrel. I don't know where that joke is just take your shot you piece of shit, but that's done dude Yo, cost me this fucks do this I would say this the only tequila I've liked more is Lala out to try it cuz that's the only tequila I like la lo it's like a local fucking nobody tequila

Bra it fucks. I literally was out of tequila store buying some regular as boring tequila and they're like this is on sale You should try I'm like dude same with uh Townes vodka. That was like it. No. Yes, cuz that's another local Yeah, like yeah, and it's cheaper than Tito's and tastes a little better I think tastes better absolutely try all of these Lalo is very very good Like I've just drank the only thing and the only other tequila. I've just been able to drink from the bottle and

Thanks, Matt. It is Lalo and Casamigos. Casamigos. This is the one. Is that what we take? Matt, like. That's what we were just drinking from the bottle. It was like, it's water. Oh, Matty B. Yeah. Yeah. He has that effect on people. Yeah.

Oops. He gets back today and it's going to happen the exact same thing. But hey, what's up, buddy? Let's fucking play Warzone and drink. He's not going to play Warzone, but he'll drink. He's going to play Warzone. Is he feeling Warzone? Oh, Matt, does he want to get back into Call of Duty and Godzilla and Kong? We don't play that. We do the other shit. Warzone. Yeah, we do Warzone. He's Kong and Godzilla. You don't have that's a separate. Why wouldn't why wouldn't you do that? The only thing that's ever made me want to play Warzone is seeing Godzilla and Kong on the map.

That is the only thing. I thought it was kind of cool too, but then I looked at that trailer and I thought, wow, this is literally what it's like to watch someone jump the shark in real time.

That's I mean, that literally explains it to you. That is a game that I'm watching how they treat weapon platforms in that game is like the most irritating thing. It's like you can't you can't pretend the real stop it. The nine mil. It's like all the submachine guns are nine millimeters other than the AK five or five cream, which is not a submachine gun. No, but it does the same damage as a nine mil and you're like, you got to stop it. That's why you don't do it.

You can't think of them as like normal guns because they're not anymore. No, all the guns have different damage. This is really weird sitting in Donut's chair. Is it? I'm in the middle. How does that feel? Does that feel powerful? Not powerful, but straight. We have our main host, our guest. I like that. Well, you know, since Batty isn't here, I'm going to fill in for Batty. And since Donut isn't here, Batty's going to fill in for Donut. Yeah, he'll be our guest today.

Just keep fucking that and we'll do one more gaming thing just cuz I want more game What's your engagement question? We already did that did we did we did we fucking post in the timeline of what episode I? Will that we care about yeah, oh here we go if you have a fucking well, we'll do two things No, we won't whatever bad. He said if you had a date that was hot and

That's gonna have to be game these are gamers. They haven't had that's why I stopped right there I was like well, there's zero comments in the thread Who's been on a doughy's to come? I'm gonna hear roof and I wish Alex I'll take my this is the most dying out straight as cancer. I think you got it finally got him right I

Finally like you've been waiting on it. Well, I mean like he had he's like I'm tough and I'm power and through this but then he he didn't Yeah, glad you brought this up on Memorial Day Memorial Day Flux just editing flux gonna be like

The edit turns out like shit because Fluk has to drink like with us. Jesus fucking Christ guys. Sorry Fluk. We need to do an episode with a drinking game. No we don't. Why? They have to drink though. It won't end. No no the audience has to. Yeah it won't end. Liability is one reason not to do that. Can we do a warning at the beginning?

Warning. Remember when we were going to add a warning? Do you remember the conversation we had? It was like episode eight of the podcast. Oh, yeah. Donut, Eli, and me all had a conversation about do we have to add a liability warning? I think that that is a good idea just because people will be more interested. We're like, should we add a warning in the first like 10 seconds of the podcast? Just the first like

Like a flip. Yeah, one second, two second thing, like warning the following, you know, includes severe language, sexual content, whatever, like severe, like extreme nudity. Oh, yeah. If you actually, fuck, here we go. Ready? We'll add this after Batty's subscribe part. You have your segment that's always at the beginning. Oh, the make sure you follow us on all the platforms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just follow that with this where it's just like, hi, welcome to unsubscribe.

This is the warning. A lot of things are going to happen. You have to be a reasonable adult and never do this. Things that include whatever the things. Fluck for this part. Sexual violence. Batty, give one. Anal. That is what I said. Yes. Potomy. Drinking excessively. Fluck for this part just times it by 100 so no one knows what we're saying. This is why we don't do a drinking episode.

Thank you. Because the problem with a drinking episode of Unsubscribe is we'll drink too. This is the best. No, it's not. That Brandon fucking thought. That was a epiphany if I've ever seen one. Capitalizing on the joke. We were just talking about earlier how fucked up it is to have

Like six, seven beers and we've all had two drinks plus three shots of tequila. In the very beginning of the podcast, we're like, who the fuck would ever do that? Who could ever stomach that much vodka and tequila with these giant shot glasses? They're shooters. They're doubles. Whoever doesn't know, whenever we do shots on the podcast, they're never singles. They're shooters. I need that. Brandon thinks this is normal size. It's not normal. Brandon's like, that's an egg shot. That's like when I said we're going to do halfies. It's a normal shot. We're just doing fucking cups.

Cup of vodka? The old expectations treatment? Bro, there was a fucking breakfast place we just went to two days ago. Where? Just right or something like that. It has fucking like the best. Cups of vodka? Yeah, their drinks weren't the best. But their fucking breakfast food? Holy shit. It was the first place that was like, we got to get the guys going here and we have to befriend. Add a cup of vodka to the menu. Honestly, a cup of vodka. Their lawyers will fucking love it. Yeah.

Guys, you added a cup. That's going to be the first drink of whatever bar we open at. Cup of vodka. They're like, guys, this is just a cup of vodka. They're like, I'll take that. It's $9. It's a cup of vodka. What are you doing? This funny name, and we just serve a cup of vodka. They're like, oh, you're serious. Or you just show your ID, and you just like the first thing you get is a cup of vodka. You can't have a beer. You can't have anything until you drink a cup of vodka. You've got to finish your dinner before you get dessert. Thank you. Cup of vodka.

But the breakfast place was really good. So give this a, what is that? Put a one in the comments if you think this is the worst episode of Unsubscribe ever. No, that's Leon's episode.

Which is so sad! I didn't say worst performing, I said worst. The Leon Lush episode of the podcast is one of my top three episodes. Oh, hands down. Without a doubt, I loved it. That's the creator curse, though. Like, anything that you put your heart and soul into that you think is going to do really well is going to fucking tag. It's wild. It makes no sense. It's like a law at this point. Like, tell me I'm wrong. Like, anything you think is going to do really fucking well. And not because I'm lazy and scared, but...

Trying to think. There's a handful of pieces. There's like three where I was like, are you good? Are you good over here, buddy? Death pool. That's the name of this episode, right? Death pool? Yeah. Yeah. I would say Deadpool. It's more clickbait. No, nobody's going to click Deadpool. Yeah. No one types in Deadpool. Hey, if you see Batty by a whiteboard, call us.

I just picture Batty writes it out and then just fucking splatter his own artwork on it. I put my name on the top and I'm like, Batty, we didn't even get a bet. It's gonna be like pin the tail on the donkey. It's just like one name up there, Batty, and he's got a thing through it. Like, Batty, are you okay?

oh he made a mess guys i'm great i promise youtube it's okay baddie when was the last one i was actually last month i'm overdue just remember that he does the emo nights he's okay though guys brandon when was your last emo night mine was never uh mine was at least have you guys never been to an email i've never done that

Like an actual emo night? If you wonder why Batty's gonna win this deathblow... *laughter* Have you heard? No, you're fucking just a shot, bro! Let me tell you, I know you have fucking shit, but like going to Dallas and going to the shot topic, hot topic emo night bar, emo music is way better than emo people. Thank you! It is!

Like I remember like like a study hall when I was in like high school, whatever. Yep. It's fucking listening to like I was a special boy He was But just like the the emo chicks would be listening to the killers and i'm like, oh the killer is whatever now i'm like, oh the fucking Killers bro. It's like the used Music I don't get it at all

Thank you for watching Unsubscribe Podcast! Today, as always, we have Eli Doubletap. There's no Donut Operator. This feels weird. But we have Brandon Herrera, the AK guy here! I'll be here forever. Next 10 episodes. And our special guest, Batty, where can the people find you? At BattyStreamsEverywhere. Except for Twitch, but it's just Batty. It's just Batty. Fuck. This is Batty.

Not like a bat, but like bad meat. Thank you guys for watching. We'll see you next time. Fuck you! I hate it here. Kill it.