38 - Shot Show Hangover ft. Brandon Herrera & Garand Thumb's Play Button 01:06:06

Say hi to Eli.

It's racially ambiguous, and baddie. That guy's fucking ridiculous, and don't I?

That's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to Unsubscribe. Hi, everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here. We're with Batty, Donut, and Eli Double Tap. Remember to like, subscribe, and comment below because we always forget to do this. So we're adding like a five-second segment. Yeah, wherever you're listening, whether it's on Amazon, Google, Apple, Podbean, Castro, or...

That other place, make sure you do a rating of not four stars, three stars. The highest one. The highest number. All of them. All the stars. Like Mario. I didn't know we were on Amazon. We are. That's cool. Are we? Yeah. Video? No. The podcast. Hit me with a donut. Hit me. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast. I am Donut, of course. I am here with Eli DoubleFap.

Brandon Berberba and Batty Streams. Batty Beams. Also, we're here with Grand Thumb. Big chat. Mike, I know your schedule has been keeping. It's a busy schedule today, Mike. Very busy schedule. You know what I love having him in studio? What I love about having him here is he's very insightful. His conversation really, really makes you think, you know?

It's the deepest stuff I've ever heard. He's been going hard, too. It's just great he had time for us today. I just want to congratulate him, honestly, on all he's achieved recently. A million subs. He is past you, right? Barely. Barely. I still have time to overtake him before two million. I was just thinking it's kind of funny. We're all just sitting here in a hotel room. Mike took too many fucking edibles, and now he's just his play button. It's like,

You get so high you just become your plaque. Imagine having a plaque. That poor plaque went through a lot of... You know what? Two of us don't have to imagine having a plaque. Wow. Wait till this podcast has one plaque. Silver one. Who's going to keep it?

I have five plaques. Don't give me the fucking plaques. I bring it once a week to the podcast. We have to argue at the car, shut the door so the plaque doesn't hear us argue. Have a good weekend with dad. Yeah. Call me if you need anything.

- Batty didn't get money last week. - The plaque didn't eat. - The plaque says it really just doesn't like spending weekends with you, you know that? - Are you feeding the plaque or is that the plaque thinking? - You've been listening to Batty too much. - This is all our childhood. - That's where these jokes come from. - My parents got divorced when I was seven. - On the button.

Oh yeah, what are we doing today? Hi everyone. Brandon, thanks, welcome back. Our fourth member. Until I replace Batty. I mean, yeah, let's be real. Almost did. Yeah, this episode. So it's Thursday. We came here with the intention of having a lot of podcasts. And we're all leaving. Most of us are leaving tomorrow. And we got Brandon.

Hi everyone. The guy that's been on many times. We went all the way to Las Vegas with all the coolest gun tubers, all the cool industry people. And you get stuck with me. We're like, who do we call?

Brandon There were so many people you're like oh you're coming on the podcast right fuck. Yeah. Oh wait. Oh no we got hammered Oh Jesus it's been a long way. Let's hear that story though. Yeah, baddie. Let's add a story found in an elevator I thought that was a lot of vodka Red Bulls and a lot of Jameson and gingers and a lot of shots and

And I ended up at the hotel bar and they just started. I tipped the guy 20 bucks one time and he just started giving me a circle bar. Yeah. Giving me free drink. No shit. I gave him a $20 tip because I just had cash and you were drunk. I was very drunk and he just started giving me free drinks. This is a weird looking $2 bill. Thank you. That's a 20. I'm not going to say anything. I'm going to feed him more alcohol for tips. The drinks at circle bar cost 20 bucks a piece anyway. So that's fucking crazy. I don't remember.

I literally don't remember. I just know I couldn't. Lori called me this morning. I couldn't get out of the elevator. In the meantime, like you actually just gave him your card. Probably. And he's just like, well, he's free drinks. I mean, in hindsight, he's like, so that was my first day. How I was in 3 30 PM the next day. His tab is still open and people are ringing it up as we see. Yeah.

So, Kyle, how did you run up $30,000 on your credit card bill? I have a credit card, thank God. Kyle, how's everyone liking Shot Show? God, I am so tired. This is going to be the lowest energy podcast, I think. I'll try to spice it up. If you guys didn't know, Shot Show started Monday, and we've been going at it every night, and it's Thursday.

And we're in our 30s except for Brandon. He might as well be looking at him. Might as well be. And we're coming out of speed running life. Yeah. Speed running age. All the amethysts that Russian Amos packed with. What was that? The whole thing like we said the other day. My blood hurts. So true. And I hate it. I took a night off and I'm still hurting. Like fuck. My tinnitus just kicked in. Like.

The ringing just started in my ear. It's like, God, right after I said I'm 30, this is awesome. It sounds like we're 100. Oh, this is terrible. But the food has been amazing. Food's great. The drinks...

Have been plentiful. $40 a piece. Shout out to Grantham again over there. He drank just baby bird and booze into our mouth all night. That was wild. This plaque has so much **** right now. Gingivitis. Gingivitis. Sorry. Fleck bleep that. Gingivitis. There's so much gingivitis on this. Mike Dundon got the ****.

The gingivitis. Is that allowed? We don't know. Really? Yeah. We call it gingivitis now. Since we had A-Rab on. Oh, did you guys know this? Since we had A-Rab on, our videos get demonetized. Every single one. Every one. We have to put them through manual review now. Before going up. It's almost like you had a guy on the podcast named A-Rab.

Which you figured would be better. It's his fucking name. Yeah, exactly. Well, it's not his name. You would think YouTube would be like... I don't think it's his name. Has anyone seen his ID or was he fucking with us? Is that actually his name? What? Arab? No, no, no. That's not his actual name. I don't want to say his actual name. He has... Hello, Mexican. Ah, hello, Mexican. He has the widest name in the world, but I don't know if it's public, so I'm not going to say it on the podcast, but I will tell you. John Smith. It's very funny.

Bro! My name is Kyle and that was dumb. It's gonna be like Dakota Smith. Okay, no, no, it's closer. I guess. Okay, Fluck, you gotta, don't put this name out there. It's ****. Yeah. I just bleeped that and then the faces. That's perfect. Cheers. I'm scared if I stop drinking I'll die.

Yeah, that's how that works. Yeah. Like, as soon as the alcohol leaves your bloodstream, the combined hangover will kill you. The archer thing. I'm just afraid if I quit right now, the collective hangover would kill me.

So I've heard you do that a couple of times now. And every time it's. Brandon has some good voices. He does. He really does have a fucking talented. I wouldn't say talented, but it's mean. So me and my brothers used to like go back and forth on that shit all the time and just like make up. You have brothers? I do. How many? Nine. Nine?

No, I have two. No, I have two. I was like, Eli's got like 14. Yeah. I thought you were about to do the Goodwill hunting thing. Mocky, mock, Tom, Tom.

Like are you fucking with me? It's like no. Is there a bottle of Tito's on the table? Yeah, we have that we can only in our one white claw piece So if we pour the Tito's in the white claw, we'll call them should man claws man claws and claws Just make an off-brand fucking seltzer company name man claws going for it I mean what the fuck else are we gonna do? All right. How's your guys shot shows been?

You talking to the audience or us? Nobody cares about the audience. I don't think they can talk back. If you were at SHOT Show, let us know how it was. Oh, God. Engagement question of the day. Did you go to SHOT Show? And if you did, did you enjoy it? Yeah. Fluck also bleep out SHOT Show. No, I'm joking.

Fuck are we doing here? I don't know what we're doing here, man. We're in a hotel room drinking, hungover. I don't know. Guess what we have tonight, though. Black rifle coffee party.

Oh, the turncoat cuck party. Right, yeah. So excited. So excited. It's so weird how nobody said anything to us this whole time this weekend. It's so weird how when you are actually in person with somebody, they feel a lot less brave. It's almost like you're a bunch of pussies!

Pussies or people who are not relevant enough to be here. Ooh. Goddamn, this is one of those episodes. Yeah, fuck you all! Y'all suck dick! I didn't mean you guys. I meant the hypothetical fucking morons. What if you're talking to the wrong camera right now? Don't fuck me up like that. I was like, which camera is that? Okay, he is. He's like, bam! I got that. Bam! You got that. Bam! We got the right one. Gorantham, are you having a good shot show?

Yeah, I feel it. Dude, that comedy right there. God, I love it. Great guy. Fluck, make sure you punch it when he talks. Just really zoom in on that. We just want everybody to understand how much we love having Mike Grantham on the podcast. Super awesome to take time out of his super busy schedule of doing important things. Speaking of which, did he for real leave already? Did we steal that? Oh, I don't know. I don't know where he is. Yeah, does anyone know where Mike is?

We have his platform. He doesn't know what's going on. He's just listening. Oh, yeah. We have Grantham's 1 million subscriber golden play button on the couch with us.

That's that's ours now. I think we gained on there. We were we were drink. We were drinking Yeah, we were drinking shots out of it. Yeah. Yeah, is that a stain or is that on it? I came on it. My balls were on it. We all mushroom stamped it. Yeah Yeah, oh my god. It was like I'm here again. It was like a Power Rangers thing like we all And we can change avoidance yeah

We can give Mike an STD. We should mushroom stamp it. If we all dipped our dick in Vaseline, squatted down on it, it would leave a nice little imprint. Dude, we've been on the show floor for how many hours? We don't need Vaseline to mushroom stamp anything. We got cheese going. The dick cheese is real right now. We got nut butter. We're just churning nut butter.

Alright, Mike, sorry. Never say that again. We're churning up butter on your plaque now, I guess. It sounds like we're jizzing on it. Are we coming on his plaque? Come! There it is! First come of the day. No, you didn't. I already said I came on it. You said past tense, though. I already jacked off on Mike's second million play button. I can't tell if you're joking or not.

He's not. He's had it in bed with him all night. Man, they canceled the AVNs. I really wanted to go to that. So for those who don't know, during SHOT Show, there's also two other events. There's Concrete World, which is like a concrete convention. The lamest amusement park ever. That's what it's called!

I don't know, I heard people talking about it at the airport, they're like "Yeah, we're heading to Concrete World in Vegas" and the guy's like "Oh, we're going for SHOT Show" and they're like "I just thought you were like SHOT Show!" "Come to Concrete World, we have a bouncy castle!" The T-spinning? It's what it's called here, it's the name of the convention. Everything's concrete, right? It's just a concrete convention? It's a convention about concrete. I can't think of something more fucking boring than that. Dude, SHOT Show! So yeah, Concrete World.

Shot show and then of course there's always the AVF the adult video right? Can't say what I was gonna say the P word, but we can't say that put them the adult movie orange YouTube Yep, Oh the corn tub. Yeah, yeah corn tubs. There's some good spicy YouTube the reason why you Panic anytime somebody goes to your browser and types in P. Yes. Yes, gotcha or T

Or a... You guys are some basic-ass searchers.

It's like John search history. We were talking about with page earlier. It's like the funniest thing is like they canceled it because they were worried about gingivitis, but it's like, that's the disease you're worried about in that industry. Ginger, gingivitis. Will you take, yeah, here, I'll give you a clean one right here.

gingivitis that's gonna be my new text tone every time put that word ginger say it again do it again do the thing shit i need vodka this is how we beat the algorithm the algorithm is gonna beat us that's wild because i say some fucked up shit some shit in my videos yeah but you're already flagged

I was on trending for gaming on a video had nothing to do with gaming at all. Really? Not even a little bit. Don't say it too loud. They'll hear you. Yeah, they're always watching. How did you get training on gaming? Dude, I wish I could tell you. I have no idea, but I got to like number six on gaming. What video was it? I can't fucking remember. Delance, please help me out. Do you remember what that was? Yeah, it was just like a random gun meme review.

Were video games in the guns? No, it was like it had nothing to do with anything. Did you say Call of Duty? E.B.?

Well, my shooting videos get on gaming trending sometimes too. Probably because they think the algorithm thinks it's like a POV fucking video game. In reality, somebody's getting murdered. The algorithm's so good, it thinks it's fucking an actual video game. Wow, these Unreal Engine graphics are fucking great. I did it four or five times last year. I was on YouTube or gaming. Oh, there's vodka in that. Yeah, I did too. It's a bitey drink now. When you were so gaming, that's weird.

I'm not complaining. I mean, no. What's funny is it's always the videos that do like shit. You ever notice that? Like they're not like the videos that are taking off or anything. It's not like my fucking 8 billion view videos. It's always like, oh, this video is doing marginally worse than everything else. Oh, and now it's on trending. Cool. Like, and it's now it's doing good. Does it take off after that? No, it's just trending. Doesn't matter. It's just like, yo, you're trending. Like where are the views at then? I feel like you have to be on the first like five.

for that to actually matter. - Yeah. - 'Cause then, like, 'cause most people don't, like, go to trending and then start scrolling through, you know? - Wait, there's a thing, trending? I'm so bad at you, goddammit. - Dude, what-- - I don't look at it either. - What sucks about trending is it doesn't act, it's not actually trending.

It's handpicked shit that YouTube puts on there. Because it used to be when YouTube was first started, it was actual videos that were trending that day. Yeah. But now it's like, you'll look at it. It's like a pop artist. It's corporate. It's corporate shit. It's corporate shit. It's all handpicked. All sorts of stuff that they pay YouTube to get on trending. It's all handpicked. Wait, can we pay YouTube to get on trending? Well, that's what I was going to say. It's not all handpicked because there is no fucking way they watch our content and go like that.

That shit right there. Let's push that to millions of people. It's a robot. It's an AI, a bad AI. It's like, this is video game here. And is this. Please the corporations. I have one purpose. It's like that robot though. What is my purpose? My purpose is this. We got to talk about that. We got to talk about that. You have to please corporations. Oh my God. I come up to these motherfuckers at lunch today and.

And they're all fucking depressed passing around a phone. They're like, you can kind of see this fucking robot, man. Yeah, the guys didn't know about this. I was just like, wait, none of you have heard of this? And they're like, no. And Delance was like, I masturbate to that. I was like, that's weird. So then... Very weird. I told the guys, I was like, what's it do? And it just...

They built this. A Japanese artist built this piece of art. And it's a hydraulic robot that leaks slowly. It's hydraulically fluid. And then it will have a...

And then it would do a dance. It was programmed to dance to entertain the audience. It was like a little wiggle dance. Yeah. And then it starts scooping its blood back. So it's got like a big squeegee kind of thing on the front of it. And it just pushes its oil that's slowly leaking out the base on like a...

Like a slight incline so the oil is always leaking away the fluid. And it just does a little dance and it goes down and it starts pulling its fucking blood back in. And it did it for two years. It did a dance and then it finally hit a point where it couldn't dance anymore. It's only program was save itself and it needed all that hydraulic fluid. So it stopped dancing. People were just watching. It was just like, fuck.

Fuck, I wish I had a voice. Dude, it did. It did have a voice. It was running out of fluid. And you could hear the joints screeching. The gears were just going. That is the saddest shit I've ever seen. Eli, do you remember the day that you stopped dancing? The day my son was born. God. God. God.

Alright guys, if we didn't tell you already, we've been drinking for four days now. Excessively. Excessively. Excessively. Well. Daddy needs a pickup. An IV. No, come on. If you watch my vlogs, you've probably seen Josh. You've probably seen Josh. You're super out of focus. Lean back.

Don't disrespect Mike like that! Mike, you're going on the floor. If you guys... Oh, fuck. Okay, okay, I got it. Mike is gonna spend the rest of the episode staring at Cody's dick. Okay, uh... Lucky Mike. I went to Bud's SEAL school with my boy here. He brought some things to make me feel better. IV bags. Because we both quit SEAL school around the same time. You both quit?

Yeah. Oh, first off, we didn't know this. So this is actually a good nerd topic since this is a gaming podcast. Oh, yeah. We're not a gaming podcast. So let's rewind. Donut quit SEAL school because Skyrim was coming out. There's probably I'm missing some stuff, but I like that part of the story. No, no. Yeah, I was I was fucked up really bad.

Because of Skyrim. He was heartbroken. Yeah, he saw me fall 30 feet onto my back off of an obstacle course. He was testing the cat theory. Yeah, but the next day... Don't it's like a cat. This was a huge deciding factor. I saw Squirt do this like a hundred times. One of the biggest deciding factors in me leaving Sil School was Elder Scrolls Skyrim was coming out the next day, 11-11-11.

And I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm just going to go play Skyrim. I don't feel good. Did you say it when you rung the bell? Skyrim! Skyrim! Joe could ring the bell. Was it worth it, though?

Skyrim was awesome. Yes. That's one of my favorite Cody's donut stories. And clearly your life has taken a very, very downward spiral since then. And we haven't talked about it on the podcast yet, but if you guys know who Mr. Ballin is, Strange, Dark, Mysterious...

Two times a week in story format. We were in Navy SEAL school with him. Strange, dark, mysterious. I thought you were going with somebody else. Oh, no. I was going to start with chocolate, obviously. Of course. Strange, dark, and mysterious. What the fuck? What? Mr. Ballin or what? The needles. What? What are you looking... I've done this, right? Oh, yeah. Cody's getting a little bit of a liquid. Dude, oh my god. Dude, there's going to be so much blood everywhere. One of the most terrible...

terrifying things I done was we had I'm not making his name up Leroy Jenkins Leroy he is a oh thank you pass those over there so Leroy when this is a third or fourth time hanging out with Matt we went down they were and then Leroy was on the podcast years ago and Leroy was like oh give me an IV yeah I've done this because he was a medic for the Rangers and

And I was like, yeah. And he's like, okay, ready? I'm going to lay down and you're going to give me a neck IV. And I was like, what the fuck? That's a different game. I was immediately like, why? I poked myself in the arm a couple of times, but that's a different game. I was like, bro, why can't I go through your arm? He's like, because I don't want that. This is for film. I was like,

I'm 11 Bravo. So I did a class that I got certified to air quote certified in one day. They're like, you're good. You can save lives. It's like the reverse of any kind of medical degree. That's like the things that you just find the ribs and you stab the thing and you're good certified. Like I also got the first aid merit badge in Boy Scout second class. That's really what it is when you're 11 Bravo. It's your first aid merit badge. Like,

Lifesavers, you're good. Oh, and then you have your, like, they choose your fucking, your person that you have to get pricked by to give an IV, and you're like, oh, please don't. I hope my partner is good, and you're like, okay, I've got it. I blew out your vein. Next vein, blew that out. Next vein, blew it out, and your arm's just, like, destroyed. You're like, ah.

You just leak it like, "I'll do it myself." I gotta do push-ups later! What's the thing they shove in your chest? Nemo. It wears like ten needles at one time. Oh, that's a fucking IV. It's an intraosseous needle. Does it go to the sternum? It goes in your sternum. 'Cause there's that video on YouTube. Oh yeah, you guys showed it to me. Fuck. Weird. Also, he probably should speak into the mic. I'm sorry. It goes into your bone and delivers fluids through your sternum.

I don't like any of those words you just said. That's terrifying. You've seen that video, right? Oh, yeah. What's it called? The Fast 10? Or the Fast 1. Oh, it's horrible. The popping sound it makes is fucking horrendous. Because it got that marine on the ground, and the dude's got, like, he's straddling his face, and he's just like, bah!

Did you ever give one of those to someone? What? Why? Yeah. You're an awful person. Somebody was dying. In retrospect, that's a pretty good reason. That's a lame-ass excuse, and I hate it. He's a special operations medic. Were they dying before you shoved ten needles in their chest? No, that's what caused it.

I had like a nasal pharyngeal is the worst thing I had. Yeah. And it was to, yeah. And it was to go home early for, for leave on Iraq. They were like, Eli, if you do this nasal pharyngeal, we'll give you two days. Uh, you can go home two days early for leave. And I was like, yep, done. Fuck it. Hit me. And then my docs just like, okay, we're going to hear spit on it. I was like, and he's like, I'm like, yeah, it just feels like pressure in your nasal cavity. And then they pull it on. You're like,

Okay, I'm going home now. Bye. I'm going to at least... I'm going to be hydrated. I'm going to at least take a two-week break from hentai now. Yeah, at least. I don't like that. Look at you. You're a pro. Cody's fucking donating blood to the couch. I'm just going to drop on it. Dude, the fucking nurse is going to come in here like...

Oh, it is a Friday. Wait, wait, wait. It stops. Is there a new system that it doesn't leak out the blood? It just goes, it sits there so you can continue to do it. Dude, that's fucking dope. What was awesome is like the squirt gun method where you forget to pull the, uh, you forget to take the tourniquet off. So it just shoots blood across the room. Every time your heart pumps, it's literally what happens.

You had the best medics, by the way. Infantry. Again, this is 11 Bravo. I think it was my bane when the dude who was doing mine, again, one day class, he didn't pop the tourniquet, and my heart's pumping. It's like...

Squirt! Squirt! I'm like, oh, and then the other medic... Like, I need that stuff. Can I have that back? Yeah, I'm the robot. I'm like, no. No! I'm like scooping it back. You got your little squeegee on. Fucking...

We had a we had this a doc he was an ex Navy corpsman who came over the army do the corpsman's are good dude this motherfucker We give shout out to Corman's dude absolutely this dude he was old as shit I love you doc banning, but he was all this shit. I love the Hulk. Yes my favorite DC movie as well he was like honestly Eli he was shorter than you and

I touched my cord check check check check check check check you're good God Flugg's gonna have so much fun on this episode yeah he's gonna hate us thanks Flugg

We love you. Look, reach out to me via email. We've got some work to discuss. Are you trying to steal our editor? Yeah, for TikTok, yeah. DeLance, I'm sorry. You're getting fired. DeLance, you're on the fucking ice. This is the episode DeLance is fired. Featuring Bryn. That's why we had you here. You're going to cameo later. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. One of my favorite stories. Can we talk about this story is DeLance

So Brandon for a long time was like, you can have all the ad revenue. Oh God. Turns out fantastic idea. When you're a fucking nobody. What happened to Lance? We had to renegotiate after a certain point. It was like, Ooh, wow. Yeah, no, neither of us really kind of knew it was going to get here. And this is kind of retarded. I love that story so much. I see Delance is like, well, um,

This contract says otherwise. Yeah, and my bank account says otherwise. It's like, well cool, because I'm opening up a new fucking YouTube account, because we're doing this, I'm starting over. Oh my god. But Delance honestly was, we were on the same page. It was kind of one of those like, yeah, this is... Couldn't have done that. Oh no, I would have been Brandon Herrera 2 on YouTube. You would not have been the real Brandon Herrera anymore. Well, that's what my ID says. He would have been the faker.

That's one of my favorite stories. I was like, oh, Delance is such a nice friend. Fuck you! Let me talk about these fucking medics! We got medics in the room! Let me talk about Doc Banning. Not the Hulk. Isn't this a video game podcast? Yeah, this is video game related. Okay, sorry we interrupted Maddie's boring story. One second. Can I shout them out real quick? Yeah, absolutely. They just came and put an IV in me. Josh! Come here. Come shout your shit out real quick. If you trip on any cords when you walk over here, though, you can't. I will fucking slap you. My friend. These guys are shorter than me.

It's shorter than Eli. Combined, they're not even my height. This is a rare thing. That old small man complex is going on over here? They have to stand on each other's shoulders with a trench coat to get into any parties. It's very odd. I feel like Hot Ones. Look at that camera, that camera, that camera. Yes, come here, come here. Okay. Alright, tell everyone who you are and who you're with. I'm Josh. I'm the CEO and founder of Special Operations Medic Coalition. I am a special operations medic and it's a non-profit for those special operations medics.

The way you said that makes me think you've said that multiple times this week. Just a couple of times. Special operations. You said special operations so many times. Yeah, that's what people want to hear. I mean, yeah, that's fair. All right. Kill and heal, brother. That's what we do, bud. Hashtag awareness.

I just wanted to tell a story about this doc touching everyone's balls, but that's it. It's all gone. Well, you should have led with the ball touching! You didn't let me! I was right! I said, "He did!" and then you're like, "Brah, brah, brah, brah, brah." Sorry. Bet in the comments right now, at what time stamp do we get a call from the downstairs for a noise complaint?

Sounds like a bunch of dudes laughing and banging upstairs. There's blood everywhere. There's blood everywhere. Fucking cameras. Like, did we walk in on a fucking snuff film? One of them said hot blood. Getting that hot blood in. Yeah. Getting that hot blood in.

Cody fucking overheats and dies on the podcast. Like, oh yeah, what we were pumping into you was like 120 degrees. Cody, why are you sweating? We just perspirated. Guys, I don't feel so good. We accidentally boiled Cody from the inside. You know that's how they cook fucking frogs? What? Yeah, when they cook frogs, they put them in cold water. And then slowly turn it on. And then slowly heat up the IV.

Again, big shout out to the Special Forces nonprofit for killing Cody. Big shout out to Saab CEO. Hey, Brandon, good news. A host lodge has opened up. Beautiful, beautiful. How come when they gave me my IV earlier, it was like a much lower dose and they had to heat up a spoon? You felt great for 45 minutes though, didn't you? Dude, I woke up in a fucking elevator. I don't know. It's a nice Bic lighter. I like it.

Look, when you turn it upside down, it's a naked lady. I don't feel so good. Holy fuck. So, shot show, guys. Oh, yeah. Ball story. Go, Matty. What? Your ball story. Oh, am I going to tell it? Is it boring? So help me God if this is a lie. I mean, okay. Navy corpsman, right? Bunch of dudes stepped in a mud hole. So how's your shot show, Matty?

Guys, guys, I don't want Brandon on the podcast anymore. One and below if you want Brandon. One and below if you want Brandon on the podcast instead of Batty. Two. Okay, never mind. We're not doing that. We should see one's popularity. Batty's like, no! Don't defend me! What?

What all right? What about your balls daddy? It was just a navy corpsman that rubbed fucking cream all over our balls and dicks because we all got stung on the dick and balls by bees How a way why? Yeah, a bunch of us did it was like ten dudes who got attacked on their dick by mud wasps Did you have pants on yeah, but why was it on did you wear underwear in or did you did you? Go commando and have a button or two down

I always had the buttons up. No, we definitely not always had the buttons up. So you guys like stung exclusively on the cock? Mostly the thighs, legs, and dicks. What?

Are these like fucking dick-seeking hornets or like what? Mudwad, they live underground and then we stepped on their shit and they just went up pants and shit. Kind of like 4chan. Yeah. Dick-seeking hornets. They live underground and they go for cocks. 4chan. Is that the name of the episode? Dick-seeking hornets? I think so. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets. Dick-seeking hornets.

But yeah, this doc just out of the blue just he had the cream ready and he was like attacking men's dicks without even like a second thought we're like we love you doc and he's just rubbing cream on our dicks like that's a Doc I was out to medics. I wasn't even love you guys Yeah, digging ball experts absolutely I have to like touch each other's buttholes and training

Wait, you had a what? Buttholes? No, no. Like Josh was telling me this, they got to touch each other's buttholes in training. What's the best butthole? Why was training on a Saturday? Why were you in a hotel room after the bar? Guys, we're training tonight. Wake up at a stranger's hotel room. All right, time for training. There's only privates here. This is weird. Sark told me to do this. But you're not even in the military. What?

Contractor. It's okay. It wouldn't be an unsubscribed podcast if something wasn't fucking up. Hey guys, we got all new cameras. Guess what? We're in a hotel room and one died. Hey guys, we had Tim Kennedy on. What happened? One died. Hey, we had Matt on. What happened? The audio didn't work. We are very good at podcasts. There is no reason we should be succeeding. Danny's fucked up too. Something happened. Did Danny's fuck up? Oh, the audio missed because the fucking files.

Well, I can think of... Oh, no, Danny, the Danny one, because we normally record four audio tracks, all the individual tracks broke, so we only had the one master file, and Fluck was able to save that. Thank you, Fluck. Shout out to Fluck. But I can think of three reasons you guys are succeeding, you know?

Eli, Brandon, and Donut. I was going to say that. I was waiting for the joke. Aside from Carriker, you guys know that my podcasts do the best. It's true. You do. It's true. I know I'm a narcissist. I check. I did the math. I checked.

I hate it so much. Damn it. Oh, it's so good. What's your favorite thing about Vegas so far, guys? What do you like the most and what do you hate the most? I hated that I walked...

And I looked down and I seen flashing lights. I was like, oh shit, this place has an arcade. It was just fucking casino. I was so excited to see flashing LED lights. I was like, an arcade? This is amazing. Why did you go full artistic for me there? Why did your hands go up? That's where my son got it. It's like an arcade for your alcoholic aunt.

artistic. Super artistic. Brandon, what about you? What are you enjoying about SHOT Show? I'm enjoying getting to hang out around you guys. We do that every other day in Texas. We didn't need to come to Vegas for that, but I'm glad we're here. It's been very fun. Just wanted to light a couple hundred dollar bills on fire while we do it. Oh, a hundred. Yeah, like Matt. The whole...

Dabbing his tears with the fucking $100 bills. Him and Angry were good. Dude, that was fucking amazing. We've had so many good, like, we sat Matt and Angry next to each other, and we need them on the podcast, and we won't even talk. It'll just be those guys going at it. Don't worry, guys. I'll sit that one out. And then we had Matt Best and Angry Cops. Oh, my God. They're banters. Can't beat it. Can't beat it.

It is fucking gold. And then we had Caleb last night at Denny's just having a blast. Dude, I was openly weeping at the table. Come check out my baseball. Oh, we got baseball bats too. Would you like some? Welcome to Denny's. We don't care. We'll kill you kids. Drunk Caleb. We have three syrups too. The greatest thing. Three syrups. His light voice. Dude.

He was lit, man. That was fun. I couldn't stop fucking laughing. Yeah, we went to Denny's at 2 a.m., by the way. Like real men. I can taste this IV. That's odd. Did you guys have flavor to the IV? It was a heroin? Oh, fuck! We gave you the chemo. This bag is spicy. Don't walk...

You see Donuts air fall out through the episode. My blood feels sick-y. I got a cummy ache. Dude, I can't even imagine the audio for this podcast. Rossi just holding her butt. It's so inconsistent. Back in Sorry Flood. Tromboning the microphone.

Jesus. Can you fit the entire mic in your mouth yet? I'm the only one on this podcast that can't do that. Okay, first off, I haven't even tried that. Look it, you're so close. I'm close, but I can't do it. Get it in there. Don't be a bitch. Less teeth. So much teeth. Ow, that hurts. So much teeth. Yeah. This is why you failed school. That was the determining factor. Too much teeth. Too much teeth, man. Batty, what is your favorite part of Shot?

Yeah, me too. Yeah. Awesome. Deep. I'll let you know after tonight when maybe things get better. Oh, I know. We got one more night and then we get to go home and sleep. I am so excited to go home and sleep. Right. I'm not streaming tomorrow night. Oh, I was gonna, but nope. No, I want to eat Lunchables in my bed. Oh,

I love Lunchables. What's your favorite Lunchable? Turkey. Turkey and cheddar. Really? Yes, sir. I love we're highly successful people and you eat Lunchables in bed. Why the fuck wouldn't you? It's like, oh, I was just DMing Gentila the other day. Nah, I'll take the Lunchable though. Yep.

I'm a fan of the pizza pepperoni though, of course. Dude, I want to see that like the habits of highly successful people and they interview us and it fucks their whole book up. They're like, never mind. Exclude that. Like, yeah, now we're going to go with Elon Musk. I start my day off with a mimosa with a shot of vodka. I eat Lunchables in bed till three. And if the first one doesn't do, I do three more. Then I make dick jokes to a camera and then money comes in.

I guess they were joking, but that's exactly how our life. That does sound like a hyperbolic. They're making this up. It's like, nope, that's literally what I did. I didn't have time to make real food for a while, so I just ate Lunchables.

I mean, I'm not surprised by that. When we had the snowstorm of 2021, I was just going to go there. Oh, baddies. Baddies. Like, I got us guys. Are we going to talk about that? No, dude, we just go in. He's like, no, don't worry, guys. I got everything. We're good. It has fucking a crate of gushers. Yeah. It's just like a giant fucking Costco box of gushers. We're going to put the nail in my cross. We might as well do it right. Yeah.

So last year, Texas had a blizzard in early February, a little before me and Eli's birthday, actually. And Cody had no power, no water. He was at his house freezing with my 11-year-old. With his son, John. Love John.

Cody was just like sending these texts in our group with me and Eli being like man Sure am cold with my son here curled up on the couch in a pile of blankets. Yeah, it was my response. There's like oh that sucks It's really warm here. Yeah, like oh meanwhile you guys are like as a crow flies two miles apart. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah Exactly it's a five-minute drive mmm

No, Tex. No, nothing bad. He's like man that sucks. I'm on the the grid for the hospital So I lost no power and yeah, he was on the hospital power grid and I don't invite myself places And I'm like I'm so cold here with my son. He's like, oh, he's like, lol. It sucks, bro to be fair I was on a tinder day Cody's in the busy streaming, bro

I was buying a Glock. Jesus. Have fun dying with your kid. So we go to the grocery store and we wait three hours in line. Oh God, you did. Yep. And I made this beautiful roast with potatoes and carrots and a ton of stuff. Brandon showed up. It was the night you moved to Texas. The night I moved to Texas. It's like the last three hours of the drive. I'm driving 2000 miles. Yeah. Last three hours. The roads were completely frozen over. It was.

It was wild. And I made this roast for Brandon. Do you know what Batty got at the grocery store? Like, I got meat. I got fucking vegetables. I got rice. I got, like, tons of stuff. You know what Batty got at the grocery store? Gushers. Batty was... And free roll-ups. He was preparing for his chips dip. Yeah.

I think there was some candy in there, some miscellaneous bags of Halloween candy that were left over from last year. You were going to deliver Halloween candy for children is what you prepped for. I didn't have a meal in like two days, two and a half days. First thing I had of real food was trail mix and Gushers. Fucking Batty. Batty just had the work. He's like, what's wrong, guys?

You want some White Claw to wash down your gushers? I have like three cases of White Claw. I'm like, I'm ready to go, guys. This blizzard can't beat me. Batty, how have you lived this long? Honestly, I don't know. I shouldn't be alive. I can't wait for the episode of like some fucking medical documentary after like, he should have died 13 years ago. Third host. Yeah.

And stuffed baddies. Why does he have some kushers? This man is a cockroach mixed with a twinkie. It's so weird. This is genetic code. Somebody needs to make that. Yeah, it's code for a ginger. Somebody needs to make that just like a twinkie with legs and a cockroach face. Put a little orange beard on it. And tattoos all down the side of the twinkie. Pokemon tattoos on the twinkie. Yeah, Pokemon tattoos. Magic cards. Your bag.

You're going to want that to not fall into the lamp.

Yeah, we still got a minute. Yeah, the medics did it. They're good. The thing attached to your vein bursts into flames because it's touching the light bulb. Corbin got it, I think. Are we still good? Magma drop into it. He's like, I mean, you're not dead. I'm the one that fucking put it into your veins. He's like, I'll be honest with you. I've never done it before. Normally we have like an IV stand because we're not...

You've done some fucked up shit Nice little dirt medicine here. I am feeling great already Do you have that can you feel like just that running through you? Yeah, it's called in my arm man that H-E-B back Yeah

It's like, I don't know. It's fine. Trust us. They're in their room. Just like, it's like, we got to make one real quick. We're going, it's going to, it's so cool. We're going to be on the podcast. Just put it in the fucking HGB bag. Texas love HGB. It's fine. They'll be hyped. Just get some water. I'd be more impressed. I got an HGB bag around here. Honestly. He's like, trust me. We were in the Navy 11 years ago. Don't worry. We're fine. It's fine.

Just fucking Cody first moved to Vegas. We went on a bit of a tear. I think is the way we first moved to Vegas or to Texas. Oh man. Ooh. To Texas. Yes. We were both single.

We drank a lot. We went on a mighty, mighty fun experience. There was a lot of white claw. So 2020, you and I went to the... Where's the story going? We went to the IV bar. We went to an IV bar. So Thanksgiving of 2020, we went to the IV bar, right? Thanksgiving of 2021, me and Brandon went to the IV bar. Oh, that's true. Yep. Fuck.

We were wondering where the story was going. We're just like, hey, bro, remember that time we were fucking hoes? Yeah, exactly. Remember what I was thinking? I was like, we went on a tear. Tinder. I was like, uh-huh. No, no. I was talking about the alcohol. I was just watching them dig this grave. Dig the grave? I've been in one since I was born, my man. Come on. I don't need to dig a grave. I live in it. Jesus Christ.

Just chillin' there, waitin' to die. I'm just ready dude, just start throwin' dirt, let's do this! I got one nut in the grave. One nut in the grave has to be like your new apparel company. Jesus. I got vodka white on my nose. God damn it, this is good. God, Shawshaw's lame. But Ivy Bar is rock. Yeah. I haven't went to one. You've never been to an Ivy Bar? No.

We went to the one right by the place we go to. It's so much less sketchy than Navy Corpsman. You don't say. I mean, they did a great job. You guys did fucking wonderful. Except for the one bag thing. I got the warm blood now. I got the hot blood. The one bag kind of sucked.

Can we share needles? Is that allowed? Can we just like hog swap them? This is their Yelp for this company. It's the screenshot of this and it's a picture of him standing like that. And it just says, with the fucking party shirts and everything. And it's just like...

That's all the three pictures for their business profile. I just love how I was like, hey, Josh, I'm good, right? And he went, yeah. I mean, you're not dead. Dude, don't worry. We used to do this for a living. We'll hydrate you. Maybe. Maybe.

Holy shit. We will start your business account for you guys. We got this. It's just the IG. It's just welcome to fake Fridays. No. Oh my God. It's like content, but better. Holy shit. There's the slogan. It's like content, but better.

Content, but good. I'm sorry, I love you guys. Let me watch this. God, it's like we're doing everything everybody else does, but like a little bit better. Now you're handing his mic to you. Sorry, I got it. I got it. I'm good. You good? All right. Just hide Raven now.

Dude, my energy levels just fucking rose. It's amazing. This is like a new man. Did you guys put Adderall in this too? It's a joke, YouTube! Dude, you're not supposed to do the same shrugs to that!

God, apparently to be energized, you just should drink water. You gotta be hydrated. It's so weird. Makes up 70% of your body. I don't think the science is there for that. We need a lot more testing behind that. Wait, hold on. Mike has something to say. Oh, shit. I never considered that, but... I mean, that's a fair outlook. Does it have to be a Thai chick? Wow, that's insightful.

Thanks, Mike. Does it have to be a tag trick? And we just add a bleep over what he says next. It's like bleep! Dear God. So happy we're finally able to have Grantham on our podcast. Very cool. Very cool. Thank you. Super high profile. All the shit you've told me I'm not allowed to say on this podcast and calm is just all over. Literally. All over. I wish you guys could see it. You gotta come in this room.

It'll look like a Jackson Pollock painting. Jesus Christ. No! I only know who that is from the accountant. Also, I'm pretty sure that was a line directly out of Guardians of the Galaxy. Was it? You know what? If the AVNs were this week, we could fill Mike up

We could fill that up with cum and someone would take a shot out of it. How? Oh, God. That would be fantastic. How quickly do you think you'd get kicked out of the AVNs, though, if you started walking around with a blacklight? Excuse me, ma'am. Ma'am, I have a question. Just flick it on. Yeah, just... Oh, question answered. I think you'll get kicked out faster walking around. I'll be like, can you fill this up with cum? Does anybody have some cum? Please! Where's Peter North? I need a tin roofer.

A tin roper? What was the guy's name that we met last year? What's a tin roper? Or not last year, two years ago. What was the guy's name? Eli, what was the guy's name from Bowerbiz a couple years ago at SHOT Show? Bowerbiz? Whatever the fuck it's called. What's the shitty thing? Burbiz? Burbiz. Bowerbiz? Yeah, I'm illiterate. 24. What was the guy's name? He had the giant cock from the AVNs and he came over to the event. Oh, shit. The porn guy. Yeah, the porn guy. Yeah. Fuck.

I don't remember who that was. You don't remember his name? I don't remember the name. Slush was there too. Fuck. Yeah. Do you remember the guy with the giant cock? I don't know. I remember now that you're mentioning that. You say that, but he literally had the porn name. His actual name was like

John or I think I know who you're talking to or talking about it was like dick hammer or something shit No, it was like we're joking. It was his name. It was like a hardwood or some shit like that It was some pun. Yeah, his name was a literal dick pun. Dude, dick hammer is a good poor name Thor's hammer. No, that's too much. Oh, I rather go with dick hammer. Dick hammer. Yeah, way more subtle. Yeah. Yeah

Conversation with this guy about porn he was like this was just my name he had his ID oh that was his actual name and then he's like then I got to born at like 35 because the name just worked Nice cock bro. Yeah great cock dear camera. Are you present? Richard Richard hammer Just call me dick

Hey, Jason. Nice cock. God, this is the least nerdy episode we've ever had. This is literally... So, Microsoft bought out Blizzard and Activision. $72 billion. Yeah, did you not hear this? No. Microsoft owns WoW now. Yeah. Oh, they're gonna fuck it. Well, yeah. I mean, Activision fucked over Blizzard and then...

Microsoft bought both of them? Yeah. Was this today? It was like a couple days ago. Three days ago? Yeah. 72 billion or 78 billion? Yeah, 72. A B, not an M. Like, fucking... They dropped some cash on that. The World of Warcraft is going to fucking suck from now on, is what you're saying. Hasn't it sucked for a little bit now? It's sucked for a minute, yeah. It's going to start sucking. It was cool when I was 16. Now it's... When Blizzard owned the IP and it was just Blizzard. Blizzard did good stuff. It's like Valve. Valve and they actually made...

Really? Old school that we're talking like Starcraft. Yeah, like original Starcraft, Starcraft 1. And then Blizzard finally got bought out by EA and that's when you seen that like that degrade in video games. Dude, Donut is wired. I'm hydrated now. You are hydrated. Yeah.

It's almost empty. Is there more in there? I don't know, is it leaking? That's what I'm saying, it's creased. Medic! Medic! Check his bag please! Dude, Cody looks like a new man. Can you do the oompa loompa dance next time instead of the ha ha ha dance? Hey Fluck, at the end- Oh, look at all that! Yeah! Oh god! They're squeezing it in! Stop it, you're killing him! Take it!

We're not in the Navy anymore, Josh. You can feel it. Matty, feel his vein when he pushes like that. Feel above his vein. You'll feel it forcing in. It's crazy feeling. I've felt a lot of Donut's veins in my life, and I'm just not ready to feel this one. You just see his tear ducts. It's rid for your pleasure.

Donut tear ducts turn on. He just starts spraying. Are you forcing that into my body right now? He just starts uncontrollably pissing all over the fucking hotel. He just screams. It's out of all his orifices. I peed, farted, shitted, and camed. What's happening? Oh, damn it. Well, somebody's squeezing your life juice back into you, so...

My blood feels good now. God, I just need a still from the beginning and a still at the end. Show your face where you're like, hey, I'm alive. Oh, he remembers how to people.

I can interact with the dots now. Is there going to be medics with IV bags at the BRCC party? There fucking better be. Because goddamn. Next year, I just want to put it in the suggestion box. Hey, Matt, can we get some IV bags? This should be a standard.

Industry standard like we're in Vegas how you know how many like ex-military medics would just show up and offer that service Just to be there. Yes. It's almost like we should start a company Brandon. Huh? Huh? Oh Wow you're putting that in there. Oh, I can feel that shit Yeah, you feel is what she said dude Donna Phil like the list right above it feel right above it Feel it flowing into that vein. Oh neat

He's like, "I don't like that." "Hi, I'm back now." "I'm back. I'm back." What, he just opened the floodgates there? No, he was squeezing it into my body. Oh, watch it. He's opened it there so it... Jesus. So, I'm not gonna tell you how to do your job, but this looks wrong. This looks like it should hurt. I'm a person again. It's alright, I watched a YouTube video before I started. Oh, that's good. Goddammit. Hi everyone, not a professional medic here.

Today I kill my friend. Thanks for not killing me, by the way. That's really kind of you. There's still some watch time left over here. You never know. Hey guys, make sure you watch the end of this video to see if Donut survives. Hard cut. Is that the best part? Oh, this is the juicy part. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Blood to the blood god. Let's see it. So ready for this part. Yes. Oh, yeah. He's a squirter.

Thanks, buddy. Is that the little plastic needle? So jealous. I know. That was a good call. It's been so long since I've seen that. There we go. Dude, do another one more shout out to yourself. Look in that camera. You got to come to a mic. Yeah, right here. Right here. Look at it. I'm a special operations medic.

and I do special operations medicine and I own a non-profit for special operations medics. Which is called? Special Operations Medics. S-O-M-C S-O-M-C, check them out. They're amazing people. What are the odds that if you stuck me with that needle right now I'd have AIDS? That's the odds of Cody. That's on the Cody odds. He's got a quarter we can flip real quick.

Okay, okay. I know we toured through Tinder there for a while together, but... I did three tours on Bumble with this guy. I may not have a purple heart, but... I did three tours. Let me show you my medical records. God damn it, that's fucking gone. That's a skit idea right there. Oh my god. I did three tours with this guy on Bumble.

Okay, you got- Batty, close us out. We should be- Are we done? What's the time? We gotta go to the party. It's like 7 and- What's the- No, right here. 7.58. What's this say right there? The number. Oh. Read it upside down for me. We have to do things. It's an hour and five minutes. Yeah, see? We're good. Perfect. You fucking nailed it. And like only eight of those minutes are like technical issues. You're just gonna fucking interrupt me when I'm trying to close this out? Yes, I am. I'm trying to tell you something important. I love you. Batty, go back to the ball joke. That was great. Yeah, I'd love to hear more of that.

I can't hit all of it anymore. Thank you everyone for watching the Unsubscribe Podcast today. Of course, with Eli Double Tap, Donut Operator, my sweet, sweet baby boy, Grantham, and of course, Brandon Herrera.

We love you guys. The worst fourth unofficial host. Unofficial. Also the best. The best and the worst fourth host. The only guy we can ever get to show up. Hi, I'm Batty. Goodbye. Love you. Cheers. Your water's heated. Dude, you got that good, good hot blood. That hot blood.